Please just kill me already.

Basically every aspect of my life sucks rn. Work is horrible and gets worse and worse everyday. I can't stand it and I just want someone to call me back so I can get out of this hell hole. It's so funny tho this one girl gets to work 45, 50, even an hour late every single day and my boss doesn't seem to care and I get to work everyday on time and then I change into my work cloths there and clock in like 3 minutes late. But do you know who she gives shit and bitched about behind her back to other employees? Me. Not her. She literally doesn't appreciate the fact that I basically run her store and shes never there. And she takes weekends off and gives the girl who's always late weekends off and this guy every Friday and Sunday off but won't give me or the other girl who actually do shit at work any weekend days off. Ever. I ask one weekend off a year, for my birthday. And she still Give Me Shit about how hard it is for her to make it work without me being there. Oh wow. Go fuck yourself. Like really. I don't care how hard it is for you, it's your business not mine. It's not my problem. Like if you can't make it work with the people you have, maybe you should fucking hire more people? And not just have like 6 employees.... And about a million other reasons why working there is complete ass. My mother hates me. And no I'm not exaggerating, not even a little bit. Here are some direct quotes from my mother, all completely unprovoked and completely out of the blue:: "you are a psychopath" "maybe I should keep calling your bitch of an employer" she's trying to get me fired bc I refused to see her on my birthday "you're off your meds, you aren't wearing your retainer, you dropped out of college. You're living in an unhealthy environment" my doctor took me off my meds bc I'm doing better, I stopped wearing my retainer bc it's been ever a year since I got my braces off, I'm taking ONE semester off bc my whole fucking life is imploding around me and an way too stressed out and overwhelmed to handle school on top of all my other problems. "Your father said he was going to kill me" complete lies bc she's mad my father got custody of me when I was a child. "maybe C***** didn't stab you in the back she just didn't like how he was treating you" and ex friend of mine treated me like shit and tried to break me and an ex up and then tore apart many other friendships bc she's an insecure person but she wants me to believe I was the problem not other people. "your dad doesn't want you to succeed" "it's time to grow up and stop blaming shit on me!!!!!!!" "You only text me when you're angry" " I tried so hard with you" "I wasted XXXX$ on your braces" she tried to take my father to Cort and force him to pay for braces but because she was thousands and thousands of dollars behind in child support they made her pay for them, not to mention doing things like that are what you're suppose to do as a parent not bc your child 'deserves it'. All those are just text messages she's sent me resently. I'm currently 21 and she still owns me like 33,000$++ in child support. She doesn't even work, she sponges off the government. The money she gets from the government every month is more that my father Earns every month. And my dad is able to out food on the table, buy clothing for me and then some but she's not even able to buy anything more than bread and ramen noodles bc she spends the rest of her money on drugs and alcohol and other stupid shit (like smart phones she doesn't know how to use and DS3Ds as soon as they are released and again doesn't know how to use. All for herself I might add). She has completely treated my like shit for my entire life. When I was younger I used to believe I deserved it bc I was just a shitty person but after seeing a good therapist, I know know she's mentally ill, refuses to get help and just projects all her issues and anger onto me. She tells me I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I'm mentally retarded and would never graduate high school (even though from 11th great until my junior year or college I got all As and Bs except 2 classes I really struggled in), she would tell me I don't deserve love and I would die alone. Day in and day out for absolutely no reason other than just wanting me to feel horrible. If I wouldn't do simple things like dishes or taking trash out she would threaten me never to take me to a doctor or dentist again (which incase you can't figure this out for yourself is sick and twisted) you should ground your kid of a weekend not refuse medical attention. She's woken me up in the middle of the night, knocking me out of bed and kicked me out with no explanation. Once I was out with a friend and came home probably around 11pm and she had locked me out of our appartment and wouldn't let me back in and I had called my dad but he was asleep so he didn't answer, so I just waited outside in the hallway until the next morning and rode the bus to school. One of the first therapists I had told her she can't keep treating me the way she does (keep in mind my mother would sit in on my appointments and do most of the talking herself so it wasn't even just me spouting out a bunch of shit, it was just from the words spoken from my mother). On the way home she told me how horrible I am, how I was the worst thing that has ever happened to her, that I deserved all the bad thing possible to happen to me. There have been times when she was mad at one of my brother's (she has 2 other sons, my 2 half brother's) and she would take her anger out on me (bc they didn't live with us) she would tell me it was my responsibility to step up and take her shit, that's what it meant to be 'part of a family' what it meant to be 'an adult'. Does that make sense to you? If you're mad at someone but they aren't there...That you would yell and a completely unrelated person simply bc you were mad...? Bc that's what it meant to be a family...? No. It doesn't make sense. I've literally seen my mother do something and then turn around a yell at my brother like he did it. She's so fucked up, she just can't stand it when there isn't drama. The last time l lived with her was my senior year of high schoool, in the middle of the night she tricked me into coming downstairs telling me she was hurt and needed help. When really she was shitfaced drunk, she told me how sick of me she was, how she couldn't stand me, how she didn't want to take care of me anymore. She had a hand full of several bills all in my name, all way past due, that she didn't pay or give to me, that were ruining my credit bc they were unpayed. Just to fuck me over. And then kicked me out. It was like 1 in the morning. And after I left, within the next week she was pissed as all hell that I refused to come back. She had kicked me out several times in the past and I was forced to go back bc I was under 18 but this time there was absolutely no reason for me to go back. She wouldn't stop harassing me she called and left so many messages in 2 weeks it filled my entire voicemail. I didn't even know that was possible. But it is. They were all telling me I was a shitty person. I had to get a whole new phone number bc of her. What a great mother right? And she literally cannot wrap her hear around why I want nothing to do with her. And on top of all of her shit my brother's are so brain washed they believe it's okay for her to act the way she does and are MAD AT ME for not wanting to interact with her. They literally try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to see or talk to her. Like the way she acts in in no way, shape or form okay for a parent to act. And the fact they think I should PUT UP WITH IT is fucking ridiculous. I have literally told my one brother story's of what she has does and all he says is "you should really call and talk to mom". Like wow, I can fell the love. I can tell my mental health is important to you. And currently I have been having some serious issues with my insurance. I need to be enrolled in school to get my insurance benefits and I guess this year my shit got messed up and they never received my enrollment info. So for like the last 3 months I've been trying to get it straitened out with problem after problem after problem. And several hours sitting on call waiting with my insurance. Currently I'm emailing someone from college trying to get enrollment verification forms. So I emailed the lady saying I needed help for the fall semester of 2016 and explained my whole problem to her. The spring of 2017 I'm taking off bc of personal problems and she already knew that bc I've already talked to her about it. All she replies with "you're not currently enrolled". I was so pissed and crushed. She clearly didn't even read my email. I have dealt with her before and I have friends that have dealt with her, and she has never been anything but a cunt. And I don't genuinely say cunt as a insult but she's a cunt. Like what even is her job but to help students?? She has either not helped me or given me so much shit in the process. If you fucking hate your job so much that you treat your students like shit, you should get a new job. Like are you serious, I am thousands of dollars in debt to my insurance that I don't owe bc my shit fell through for a stupid reason. And it's affecting my credit score bc I don't want to just pay for it and potentially not get replayed.... And a couple months ago my father had surgery for cancer and isn't working. So with my shit job where I don't even make the minimum wage, I'm trying to support us. And right after he had his surgery and I accidently broke my finger. All in the finals week of school. So I was trying to finish final projects, study for finals, being torn apart hoping my father would be okay, wanting to go out of town to visit him in the hospital and then not being able to bc I broke my finger, and missing several days of school and having to make up finals. All while having my work issues too and being expected to work way more hours than I could physically and mentally handle but doing it anyway. Just being torn apart in every direction possible and having no one care... And since my father's surgery I've had to drive him 2 hours our of town for check ups since his surgery and when I ask those day off from work my boss has the audacity to give me shit about needing those days off even though she knows full well why I was asking them off. I literally hate my life and wish I was dead. Like all of my problems are bc of other people, things that are completely out of my control. Like I try so hard to fix shit and nothing gets better. My entire life I've tried to bend over backwards trying to make my mother love me but she just hates me more and more everyday. No matter what I do or say my boss never takes me seriously or respects or appreciated a single thing I do. No matter who I talk to or what I send nothing changes with my insurance. Can someone just kill me.....