sorry for taking so long in updating this fic, everyone. life just sort of happened, and it didn’t stop happening for a while. thank you to everyone who still keeps up with this fic, for your patience and understanding. 

a new thing you’ll notice with this chapter is that i’m no longer including a tag list. simply put: the amount of names on the list were beginning to overwhelm me, and it was near-impossible to keep up with people when they changed their usernames. sorry, loves. i hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

warnings: peter is 19. phone sex, edge play, masturbation, vibrators. short chapter, sorry, lol.

—

"For the last time, Stephen,” Tony growled, thumb and forefinger digging so hard into his eyes that he was seeing fireworks, “I am not going into detail about my ‘second job.’”

Tony swore he was a glutton for punishment. Had to be, to continue agreeing to meet Strange for lunch and get harassed about his night gigs. They had agreed to meet in the campus commons since both of them had a class to teach in an hour, but unlike Strange, Tony found nothing appealing about the college kitchen’s food. A black coffee suited him just fine. Even if it meant he was a little peckish over his next course.

The lack of food was probably what made him sound so cranky when trying to shut Strange down. No, he wasn’t going to entertain Strange with stories of weird or rude clients, wasn’t going to tell him which agency he worked for, and was absolutely not going to share his number so Strange could critique how he handled phone calls. 

He was going to have to make a physical reminder for himself to reject lunch invitations from Strange for the rest of his life, or at least until his teaching career was over.

Once he had blinked past the initial blurriness that followed from massaging his eyes, he glanced up to find Strange scowling at the stack of lab reports he was grading. Tony had heard him making a few mumbled comments about how rushed most of them had been, and his input of It’s almost finals week, go easy on them was immediately followed by a frown and narrowed eyes in his direction.

And then Strange had so casually asked him about his “phone gig” and fought a smirk when Tony glowered.

“I just asked,” Strange responded while quickly scratching down a comment in red. A few quick x-es across a graph and he looked up from across the cafeteria table towards him. “And I did tell you I was curious.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Maybe I want to get into it.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Stephen.” Strange did smirk at that, or was he smirking at the obscene amount of red writing on the last paragraph of the lab report? Tony was grateful they had graduated together. “You’re doing this to torture me.”

“A little of both,” Strange admitted. He closed that lab report and moved onto the next one. The big question mark near the top page made Tony’s stomach flip, and he needed to look away. “And genuinely want to know what about your relationship with Mr. Parker made putting your job in jeopardy worth it. Maybe it’s because I’m not you, I don’t see the appeal.”

“Sure, but maybe that’s because you haven’t seen him when he’s turned on his camera and has a pillow between hi—”

Strange pointed the end of his pen at Tony, holding it like a knife. “God damn you, Stark, I’m the boy’s teacher! At least for another two weeks. Watch your mouth.”

“You asked.” Tony shrugged and picked up his half-eaten burger for a bite. 

Strange closed his eyes, shook his head, and sighed. “Why have I put up with you for all these years?”

“My guess is that I have so much blackmail material on you, you’re worried I’ll release your attempt at a home-made sex tape with your then-girlfriend that you emailed to our entire groupchat.” Tony shrugged when Strange looked away to continue grading papers. “Hey, Stephen. Honestly, I appreciate your discretion with this whole...thing.”

Strange flipped to the second page of his student’s report. He tapped the end of his pen against the paper. 

“You’re stupid, but you’re not a complete idiot,” he answered. Tony snorted into his coffee. “If shit hits the fan, though, I want a promise that you won’t be bringing my name up. I don’t want to be more involved in this than I already am.”

Tony silently agreed and took a sip of the shitty coffee in his cup. It held the same gritty consistency of the instant stuff Tony and Strange used to drink when they were younger. It had to be the cause for his lifelong insomnia, but the sweet siren-song of caffeine was too strong for him to resist. He’d even debase himself to drinking whatever this was.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” Strange asked. He capped the red pen and set it aside along with his completed grading. “Sure, the break will give you some reprieve, and some much-needed time off. But January will be here soon, and you’ll have to be prepared to deal with this when you come back.”

Tony nodded and drummed his fingernails on the tabletop. 

“I’ve actually kind of handled it already,” he said. The coffee was still warm, although it was teetering on the edge of room temperature and beginning to sour. He grimaced and slid the cup closer to the center of the table. “Actually, that’s a lie, the kid was the one who made the decision.”

Strange’s brow rose. “Did he talk some sense into you?”

Tony nodded. “He said the job was more important, which, good on him. He’s right. So, whatever we had over the phone is done with, and he’s agreed not to go running to our dear Brucie Bear about it.”

Strange muttered a few words to himself, mostly in praise of Peter. A good head on his shoulders, which Tony had to agree with. It was the best and safest option for both, even if Tony found himself missing his favorite client when nights were particularly slow. He just had to remind himself what the university would do to him if he so much as thought about Peter in the wrong way.

That, and another painful swallow of the dining hall coffee in front of him helped keep his head.

The topic of his relationship with Peter finally died off. He and Strange began discussing other plans, such as the faculty Christmas party, what they planned to do for their holiday breaks, and whether or not Strange would finally have the guts to propose to Christine. (Unlikely, Tony thought, but that didn’t stop him from pestering Strange about it.)

He left back for his lecture hall in good spirits. Until an email notification came up on his phone. Would he be able to properly train and teach with a TA if he got a no-contact order against Flash Thompson?

—

Another slow night. Tony hated these, when there were no assignments to grade, no more emails to answer, and no movie or show interesting enough to sit through for a few hours before bed. His final exams were already written, proofread (thanks to his two new TAs), and finalized. Hell, he had already printed them out and had them sitting in a folder on his desk, waiting for the Wednesday they would be taken.

Damn him and his need to be prepared. 

There was nothing to occupy his time with besides cracking open a new bottle of scotch and opening up his second line for calls. He had even taken an early shower and rubbed one out, leaving him soft for the few calls he did get in the past two hours.

His night was beginning to wrap up early, and he considered the idea of getting an extra hour of sleep when his phone went off, and he greeted the caller after a quick swallow of liquor.

“Hey there, baby. You’re up awfully late.”

There was a feminine giggle on the other line. Tony took another sip of scotch and cleared his throat.

“I’m just so bored,” the caller confessed, her voice high but quiet. Almost a whisper. Tony imagined her platinum blonde and twisting her hair around her finger. She was probably biting her lip through another giggle. “Nothing fun enough to keep my interest. But I bet you can keep me entertained.”

Tony chuckled and set his scotch on his coffee table. “Baby, I’ll give you one hell of a ride. Help pass the time a little bit. What sounds fun for you?”

The woman on the phone giggled to herself, then sighed. Tony wondered if she was sitting on her couch the way he was, leg propped up in an easy position to touch herself, or if she was lying in bed with a silk kimono undone and falling off her arms. He could hear the faint buzz of a vibrator in the background. A low setting, enough to keep her interested until things revved up.

He heard shuffling and a light squeak. Definitely a bed, probably with a mattress that needed replacing.

“Mmm,” she hummed, “my boyfriend’s been working late so many nights. He doesn’t have time to worship me like I deserve.”

“Well, that’s just criminal.” Tony sipped at his drink. He let the liquid sit and burn on his tongue before swallowing. “Why don’t you lie back, baby, and let me give you what he can’t. Would you prefer my tongue, or my fingers first?”

Another pleased sigh, followed by the sound of the vibrator turning up a notch. “Oh, yes,” she moaned. “I want your tongue, Daddy, please.”

Tony’s cock throbbed between his thighs. He began to reach for himself without a second thought, then stopped himself as he felt his fingertips along his trapped length. What was he, a teenger? 

“Well, how could I deny such a sweet, polite little thing.” Tony let his free hand lay on his thigh. “Lean back and let Daddy take care of you.”

Tony wasn’t used to most of his partners taking the lead, but he did rather enjoy listening to the way the woman ordered him around the way she wanted her pussy eaten. If Tony put his “tongue” where she didn’t want it, she would forcefully rearrange him, or make him slow down if he sped up too quickly. It was entertaining, if nothing else.

But God, she was doing things to him that he really wasn’t expecting. Mostly, in the form of calling him “Daddy.” Nothing else she did riled him up as much. Each moan of the word had his dick twitching and growing until the fabric of his sweatpants had darkened where his head pressed against it.

Honestly, truly, Tony hadn’t wanted to get off more than once tonight. 

Against expectations, Tony found himself shifting in his seat until he could get his sweatpants down to his thighs. His cock twitched in the cool air of the room, free and still leaking where it fell to rest against his stomach. Tony wrapped a hand around his shaft and locked his fingers just beneath the head. 

The vibrator on the other end kicked up once more, with the woman begging to be fucked. “Enough teasing, enough of your fingers! Please, Daddy, want you in me.”

Daddy again. A steady drip of pre-cum leaked over Tony’s fingers. He allowed himself a few slow strokes. Just enough to keep the throbbing at bay. He could take care of himself later, once this call was over.

Unfortunately for him, his caller was insistent on dragging out her pleasure. The vibrato went down a notch, with her asking him to “slow down.” Tony agreed, made a comment about edgeplay, and was answered with a moan. She wanted to take as long as she possibly could with it.

More orders. Speed up, slow down, use his fingers instead of his dick. Tony played along well enough, but the repetition was beginning to bore him. He could only pretend to eat her out for so long before his attention began to wane. How long did she expect him to keep this up? He supposed the payout would make up for the monotony of it.

If this is what her so-called “boyfriend” put up with every time they fucked, it was no wonder to Tony that she had to turn to a stranger to entertain herself. 

The rhythm of her demands never seemed to change; start slow, work her up, getting her vibrator working loud enough that Tony could hear it over her moans, and then she would suddenly turn it back to a gentle rumble and demand Tony “finger” her instead. After a few moments where she would regain her composure and slip away from the edge of her release, she’d kick everything up again. Wash, rinse, repeat. 

If Tony could be honest, he was growing bored.

He let his mind wander while she took control of the situation. He gave his input when prompted, a few chuckles and a lewd comment here and there. Enough to keep her entertained while Tony idly rubbed himself and delved into one of his own fantasies.

Instead of an older woman on the other end of a phone line, Tony imagined himself sitting in his office on campus and successfully having a face-to-face conversation with Bruce while a young student sat on their knees and swallowed him down. Nothing he would dare attempt in real life, but the potential excitement in the fantasy was enough to keep him engaged.

Maybe, Bruce would get onto him about class averages, or a student complained because a snappy comment landed a little too harshly. Maybe, there were suspicions of him having an inappropriate relationship with a student, and Bruce wanted to ask him about it before the rumors reached the dean’s ears.

That would be incredibly hot, lying right to Bruce’s face while a student wrapped their lips around him.

Tony could see it. He could lie right to Bruce’s face in this scenario. No, no, Brucie Bear, you’ve got me all wrong. I would never do something so heinous. I respect myself and my students too much to ever get entangled with them. 

In his head, Bruce believed him and said he would intercept the rumors before Tony’s reputation took a hit too big to come back from. Tony could grin and thank Bruce for his loyalty and trust, all while digging his fingers into pretty chestnut hair and pulling his student so far down his shaft that they have to work to keep their gagging silent.

And at the turn of Bruce’s back, Tony could look down at the student beneath him. Watch them pull off with drool sliding around their lips and down their chin, meet those pretty brown eyes as they look up at him and moan out a ragged, Daddy…

Tony gasped when his orgasm hit him, ropes of cum splashing over his fingers and shirt. He squeezed himself as the waves of it crashed over him. His thighs were shaking, and his chest ached as though he had run a marathon. 

In his ear, pure silence. Not even the faint buzz of the woman’s vibrator. Did she finally come, and waited for him to do the same? Not that he really meant to, he would have just lied to her if she asked.

He expected to hear a dial tone. 

A scoff, instead. She had taken offense. Did she want him to wait for her? God, he’d be waiting all night if that happened. Would show up to work the next morning a sleep-haggard, semi-caffeinated zombie.

Tony was going to apologize, maybe offer her a refund since his orgasm could have ruined hers. She spoke before he got the chance.

“Who the fuck is Peter?”

Tony hung up. He almost considered throwing the phone out the window, or tossing it into the fireplace and watching it burn. He settled for shutting it off for the night and hiking his sweats back up over his hips. He buried his face in his clean hand and cursed, loudly and harshly, at himself. 

The rest of his night was spent in guilt, thinking of the fantasy that got him off and the customer that would surely be leaving a complaint about him. He washed his hands, changed his clothes, and buried his second phone in the back of a kitchen cabinet so he could begin working on forgetting that the phone call ever happened.

Sugar and Coffee [6]

Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7

➜ Words: 7k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

➜ Notes: I know it’s not Christmas or even remotely winter, but in the timeline of the fic, it is. I hope you guys don’t mind.

cr.

Sometimes when Jungkook doesn’t hear from you for an extended amount of time, he wonders who you’ve found to terrorize now.   But he doesn’t have to wonder for a long time since you always find your way back to him, plopping down at his table at the dining center during breakfast when he’s mid-conversation with Jimin, sitting beside him during the lectures and online shopping on your laptop when you’re supposed to be paying attention, texting him to ask how you pop a pimple on your back….   The list is endless. You weasel your way into his life until it’s almost natural. Like you’re Hoseok or Taehyung.    And that extended amount of time where he wonders whose life you’re ruining decreases from days to hours to minutes until he eventually stops pondering altogether, knowing that it’s his life you’re destroying and no one else's.    “So I’m guessing you didn’t completely bomb the tempering chocolate part of your final.”   You look over at him with a raised brow. “Who told you?”   “You would’ve screamed about it over text if you did.”   “Hmph.” You tear your eyes away from the dark-haired man, continuing to scrub your dishes beside him. “That’s right. I did well, no thanks to you.”   “Excuse me, I think it was through our failures that you learnt the most.”   The kitchen is still bustling with kids cleaning up after themselves. The two of you are beside each other, washing your own dishes. You hate that Jungkook’s sharing a sink with you, but he complained there was nowhere else to go, and you figured kicking him somewhere else would’ve been more work.   “I’ll admit, it was the motivation to destroy you and win that got me through it.”   He scoffs as you smile mockingly at him, finishing the rest of your dishes. “Are you almost done with all your finals?”   “I have one more tomorrow and I’m finished. You?”   “I’m done with all of them.”   “Wow, are you trying to brag, you little shit?”   Jungkook grins. “Look, I—”   He’s interrupted by the vibration of a phone.    Jungkook quirks a brow, knowing full well there’s not supposed to be any phones in the kitchen. It’s a dumb policy of your teacher, but a policy nonetheless.   You pout at him, pulling the device out of your back pocket. “I’m waiting for a call, alright?”   Luckily class is over and there's only cleaning to be done, so you don’t get into trouble for turning around to answer the call.   Jungkook continues to wash his plates and bowls, minding his own business. But he inadvertently catches the conversation.   “Hey….yeah….I’m good...uh-huh. I have an exam tomorrow and then I’m off for the rest of the month until the second week of January.” You’re speaking in hushed whispers, arm hugging your body as the other presses the phone to your ear.   You peek over your shoulder and Jungkook looks away right in time. But out of the corner of his eye, he sees you frown and whip yourself back around into the corner.    “What do you mean? No, mom. I...broke up with Jin, remember? I’m not—…..what? Are there any more tickets?” There’s a long silence. You release a frustrated sigh, pressing your hand on your forehead. “Can’t you cancel your trip then? Or find a way….”   There’s yet another pause. Jungkook can vaguely hear voices on the other line.    “So you’re just going to leave me behind?” His ears perk when your voice cracks like you’re going to cry, or maybe you’re just angry. Jungkook can’t really tell. “Well, what am I supposed to do for three whole weeks? There are no classes, mom. I don’t want to spend Christmas by mysel—Fine. Fine! Have it your way!” you spit in a whisper that’s loud enough to draw the attention of your other classmates nearby too. “You have fun on your little trip then. No—don’t talk to me! I’m hanging up.”   You remain there for another ten seconds and Jungkook watches you hang up, sliding the phone into the pocket of your apron. He looks at you fast enough to see how your eyes are glossy and diverts his vision, not wanting to embarrass you or put you on the spot.   “Trouble in paradise?”   “There’s always fucking trouble in paradise,” you mutter. “Nothing ever goes right for me. Whatever.”   Jungkook put the dishes away with you. He decides to address the elephant in the room, clearing his throat. “I, uh, couldn’t help but hear…so what’s gonna be your plans for the break?”   “I don’t know.” You sigh again. “I’ll probably just stay here. Work on some stuff. Learn a recipe or two or maybe get a head start for next semester. You?”   “I’m going home. We’re not really religious, but my entire family usually gathers for the holiday for gift exchange and to eat and stuff,” he says, trying not to rub salt all over your wound.    You nod. “That sounds nice. Have fun.”   There’s tense silence again, merely the noise of bowls and plate clanging as you put them back where they belong. But Jungkook is unable to move from the conversation. His thoughts brew in the forefront of his mind.   He knows it’s unnecessary, that he shouldn’t, but his conscience compels him otherwise.   “You should come with me.”   Goddamn. Jungkook hates himself for being such a good person. Why can’t he be as cold as Yoongi? He’s gonna have to ask the man how he does it.    But Jungkook also knows if it were him who just got dumped by his two year long girlfriend, he wouldn’t want to spend the holidays at this damned, empty institution by himself.    “Pardon?” You give him that look of yours, like you’re disgusted or confused. He’s not sure which one it is in this context.   “You should come with me.” The words leave Jungkook’s mouth before he can consider what he’s exactly offering. “Spend Christmas with my family.”   “What?” You shake your head. You’re not appalled, merely perplexed at why he’s going out of his way to propose something so big. “Why would I do that?”   Jungkook shrugs. “You don’t have to. I just think you shouldn’t have to stay here by yourself.”   Your expression softens. “Won’t it be weird?”   “No, my parents won’t mind. Taehyung and Jimin actually spent Christmas with me two years ago and that was fine. You don’t have to stay for the entire break, but at least for the holidays….”   Jungkook knows that expression — the nibble of your bottom lip, the way your brows knit together. You’re touched by his hospitality and benevolence, but hesitant as you consider it, even though you want to.   “There’s no pressure,” he says and quickly adds, “I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself when I put the ornaments on the tree better than you can.”   All at once, you make a noise between a scoff and a laugh. It bubbles out of your throat and makes him smile. “How does someone put ornaments on the tree better?”   Jungkook shrugs. “Someone without a sense of aesthetics wouldn’t know.”   Your mouth curls. “Is that a challenge, Jeon?”   “You have to come to find out.” He smirks.   “Okay, sounds like a plan then.”   Jungkook grins, ruffling your hair with his hand until you swat it away. “We’re leaving in two days. Get packing.”

If you told yourself half a year ago you’d be lugging a suitcase and backpack to Jeon Jungkook’s parents’’ house, you would’ve laughed and then called the psych ward to pick up an insane girl in your dorm room claiming she’s from the future.   But you guess in the recent months, insane things have been happening to you one after another.   You’ve been on the bus for five hours now, slowly making your way up north where it’s icy and snowy. You only get to stretch out your legs at a rest stop for about an hour.   “Took you long enough.” Jungkook pushes himself off the wall he was leaning on, eyes flickering down to a bag you’re holding. You notice his stare and you move the bag behind your back. “I thought you went to the bathroom. Went shopping on the way?”   “It was just a souvenir I picked up. A lame key chain for the occasion. How much longer is this gonna take?”   “Well we’re halfway through, so another five hours give or take?”   “Oh my god.” You sigh while stepping outside. The snow hits you at once and it makes your cheeks numb in the frost. “My ass is so sore.”   “You’re the one talking.” Jungkook rolls his shoulder. “My shoulder aches from your heavy head.”   “Hey, it’s your fault for stealing the window seat.”   “I didn’t know you would be sleeping four out of the five hours.” He sighs with a small smirk, feigning frustration. Yet Jungkook’s the first to climb onto the bus.    There are people all around, napping, playing games. You put your souvenir bag into your backpack, sliding it back onto the overhead bin before you look down at the boy who’s settled in his seat in spite of his complaints, looking out the window like he’s having thoughtful contemplation and there’s something in that empty brain of his.   “Are you not gonna give me the window seat?”   Jungkook turns his head, arm propped up on the rest. He flashes a brilliant smile. “Why would I?”   “So your shoulder doesn’t have to be sore anymore, Jeon.”   He hums a low note. “Nah. I’m good.”   You scoff. “Your call.”   You plop down, immediately lolling your heavy head onto his shoulder. You try your best to lean your entire weight on it, as heavy as you can, and you shut your eyes and cross your arms to continue your nap.    Jungkook mutters how bratty you are and it only makes you smirk in satisfaction.   Eventually you’re shaken awake when you arrive at the destination five hours later and your ass is sore beyond belief. Your eyes are bleary as you try to rub them awake, squinting out the window to look at the small town covered in snow.   The white is blinding and it almost overflows into your boots.   You pull your suitcase behind you with your backpack on your back. Jungkook drags his belongings with him too. “Where to now?”   “It’s a fifteen minute walk. Think you can handle it?”   “Yeah.”   Even if it’s cold enough that your fingers are curling in on themselves and snot is dripping down your nose, it’s still better than being by yourself in your warm dorm room with nothing to do.   The town is quiet, not in an eerie fashion but serene. The houses are twinkling with strung lights, puffs coming out of chimneys, people through the windows putting up ornaments or gathering around the fire. This place is the perfect Christmas movie setting, small shops and friendly folks. You wonder if this is where Jungkook grew up.   “It’s this one.” Jungkook stops on the sidewalk suddenly. It’s house one two three at Imlings Avenue, a cozy looking home with a giant front yard and two cars on the curb. You can hear the festive music already.   As you roll your suitcase up the shoveled walkway, hearing the wheels roll, you become increasingly nervous. It’s odd — even if you and Jungkook are friends now — you’ve never met his family before. You’re a stranger to them and you’re probably unwelcome considering this is just a family affair…   “Wait.” You linger back. “Jungkook—”   But it’s too late.    He knocks before he can hear your voice. And the door swings open.   Oddly, you don’t see anyone….until you tilt your head down. There’s a little girl in a red and green plaid dress, her black hair in pigtails. She looks up at Jungkook and bats her lashes. A wide grin spreads into her chocolate stained cheeks and she throws herself onto him. “Kookie!”   There's a stampede of steps and you hear multiple voices. “Yeonjun! He’s here!”   “Oh my goodness, have you been eating well? You look so thin! We’ll change that.”   “Kookie! Kookie!”   “There’s food in the kitchen, son, go have some.”   “Or get some rest if you’re tired. There’s plenty to do, but that can get done later.”   “Okay, okay.” Jungkook laughs and turns around to see that you’re still standing outside. He quirks his head to the side. “Are you going to come in?”   What ensues is one of the most awkward moments in your life. There’s sudden silence, and then two or three sharp gasps. You manage a smile, looking down at the floor as you step into his house.    The door shuts behind you, solidifying your position here.   Your eyes flicker up. There are two kids, an older lady that resembles Jungkook but with wrinkles creased at her features, and an older man, aged like fine wine and with Jungkook’s doe eyes.   “Hi. I’m Y/N. S-Sorry for the intrusion. I really...appreciate your generosity for letting me stay.”   Jungkook smiles softly and plops his hand on your shoulder, gesturing to each person. “Mom, dad, this is Y/N. She’s my friend and, uh, classmate I told you about. Y/N, this is my grandma, my uncle, my aunt, and my two cousins, Lia and Eunbi.”   He goes over them so fast, you’re reeling.   Lia grins a toothless smile, arms politely behind her back as she sways from side to side. “I’m seven, nice to meet you.”   Eunbi, the one who opened the door, spreads her hand in front of you. “Five!”   “Nice to meet you.” You nod.   But instantaneously, your hands are taken by the old lady. Jungkook’s grandma, despite her entire head of hair being stark silver, has her irises shining with newfound energy. “It’s my pleasure, sweetheart. Please, come in. Take off your coat.”   “How long have you known Jungkook for?” his uncle suddenly asks, wearing a blazing smile as well like he knows something you don’t.   “Umm….actually, we went to high school together.”   “Really now?”   “We weren’t close though until...until recently.”   “Jungkook.” His mother shakes her head in disapproval. “You didn’t tell us your friend was a girl.”   Oh god. Now he knows what’s going on and why they’re treating you like you’re a prized possession. “It’s not like tha—”   His aunt completely jumps the gun. “How long have you been dating Jungkook for?”   You choke on air, taking your hands away from Jungkook’s grandma to pound on your chest lest you die this pathetically. Jungkook’s eyes bulge from their sockets. And Lia is old enough to understand and wrinkles her face. “Ewww, are you guys gonna end up kissing?”   “No! No.” He takes a deep breath. “Y/N is a friend. She’s just a friend.”   “I-um, sorry if there’s been a misunderstanding.” You back him up. “I’m not dating him. Frankly, I can’t handle someone like Jungkook. B-Because he’s too great,” you quickly add, not wanting to insult their son in front of their faces when they were already inviting you into their home.    It’s so awkward, you want to run outside and faceplant into the snow and die from hypothermia. “We’re just not like that. Never.”   “Yeah. She’s a classmate. A friend. Like Jimin or Taehyung.”   “O—kay then.” Jungkook’s mom breaks the tension with a warm smile. “Well, we shouldn’t dilly dally here all day! Jungkook, you can take your suitcase up to your usual room. Y/N can have the one down the hall, the guest one—oh no, dear, you don’t have to carry it.” She stops you when you grab your luggage again. “Jungkook can do it for you.”   “A-Are you sure?”   “Of course. He has to make himself useful somehow. Make yourself at home! Lia, Eunbi, want to show Y/N the stockings you made?”   “Yeah!” Lia grabs your hand, leading you away. You glance at Jungkook and he has a tight lipped smile. But the moment you turn the corner, he’s bombarded by his family members' curious stares.   “Are you sure she’s just a friend, dear?” his grandma croaks. “She’s awfully pretty.”   “Are you in the process of courting her, son?” his dad inquires. “Let me tell you, when I courted your mother, I did all sorts of things to get her to like me, so if you ever need advice—”   “You learnt how to drive a motorcycle and almost killed yourself with it,” his mother chides.   “I’m glad he didn’t.” His grandma turns around, deadpanning, “Your funeral would’ve been a terrible embarrassment to the family.”   “I remember that. You stole from me to get that motorcycle and never paid it back,” his uncle pipes up, and his dad ducks his head behind his mom.   His aunt laughs and pats his uncle’s chest. “Now, now, let’s not get ourselves worked up.” She turns, addressing the real issue in the room. “Jungkook, is Y/N really just a friend?”   “Yeah.” He stops, having ignored his family and struggled to carry the suitcases across the living room. Jungkook doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to insist his relationship with you is platonic, but out of everyone he knows his aunt is the most understanding and convincing. If she believes it, the rest will too.    “She’s just a friend. Actually, she….recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend, so…...yeah, um, and she’s my internship partner and I felt bad that she was spending Christmas by herself….”   “Well then, that’s fine. Friends are as valuable as any other kind of relationship. I think your mother and everyone else were just surprised that you brought a girl home.”   “She was going to spend Christmas by herself?” his grandma asks, surprised by the mere idea of it.   “Yeah, I think she was supposed to spend it with her boyfriend’s family but they broke up, so…”   “Well then I’m glad you invited her! No one should spend the holidays by themselves. Poor girl.”   “The more the merrier!” his uncle proclaims.   “But you still should’ve told me it was a girl,” his mother chides with her hands on her hips. “I would’ve gotten her a suitable gift!”   “Friend or not, I don’t want any shenanigans under my roof, Jungkook,” his dad warns. “You’ll both be sleeping in separate bedrooms.”   The mere idea of it has him frowning. “Of course!” Jungkook says as if it should be obvious.    He lugs his suitcase and yours up by himself while wondering what if you brought actual bricks with you.   It hasn’t even been ten minutes in this house and Jungkook already has a headache.   //   Not even an hour at the house, you and Jungkook are thrown into a truck with his dad and uncle to go buy a Christmas tree at some small market.   Your hands dug into your pockets as you walk alongside each other, finally able to get a breather.   “Sorry about them. Did they ask a lot of questions?”   “Only about my education, how old I am, what my parents do, my hobbies, if I have siblings, if I’m religious, where I grew up, and oh yeah, my plans for the next five years.”   “Sorry,” Jungkook repeats with a sigh. He knew they were overbearing but this is really something else.   You giggle. “It’s okay. Just felt like a job interview. I’m just happy they’re so welcoming. Your family’s really nice, Jungkook.”   “Yeah. Mostly. My mom can be pretty crazy. My grandma can be hysterical — same with my aunt. And my uncle and dad can be short tempered.”   “Every family has their fair share of crazy.”   “You could say that again.”   You stop to point at a tall, luscious looking tree. “That tree’s pretty nice, huh?”   “I think it’s too big for the house.”   You keep walking. “I’ve actually never gone looking for a tree like this before. Certainly not a day before Christmas Eve.”   “Really?”   “Yeah, my family usually uses artificial trees.” You smile at the memory. “Oh, Jin’s family uses a real tree. Usually it’s already decorated when I get there though—……” It takes a moment for you to realize what you’re saying. “Never mind.”   Jungkook glances at you. It falls into silence and he can see you brooding in your thoughts. He then taps your shoulder. “What do you think of that tree?”   The boy points to a small one that’s drooped over. “It’s so….sad looking.”   “Hmm, like you, right?” Jungkook laughs hard when you shove him. He catches himself before he faceplants into the snow.   “God, you should be lucky I love your family or else I would kill you.”   “As if you even could.”   “Don’t test me, Jeon.”   “Hey, kids!” His dad shouts, a few meters away. “Come help your uncle and I with this one. It’s a good one!”   Once it’s paid for, you all haul the tree into the back of the truck.    You muse that you’ve truly never done this before as you watch Jungkook’s mom screaming as all the men try to shove the tree through the front door and the tree losing nearly half of its pine needles, shedding to the carpet.    But finally they manage to get it inside without much damage done and all that’s left is to decorate. You help pull out old boxes from the cottage and Lia shows you the noodle ornament she made in class. “Look!”   You’re genuinely impressed at how intricate it is. God knows your talent was in baking and never in arts and crafts. “Wow, it’s really pretty!”   “Thanks.” She grins and you pick her up so she can slide it on at the very top.    You try to hold Eunbi too so she can put the star topper on but when your arms begin to shake with the weight of the five year old, Jungkook takes over for you. He puts her on his broad shoulders so she can lean over to do it. And you’re finally able to race Jungkook to put the rest of the ornaments up, and find out who’s the true Christmas master. But you don’t get far into the game when his grandma waddles over and starts complaining that he was bunching the candy canes too close together.   “When you kids are done with that, come outside. We’re going to put up the lights,” Jungkook’s dad says as he carries a ladder with his uncle.   Though once you’re actually outside, dressed up from head to toe in Winter gear, there’s not much you can do. You watch as Jungkook climbs the ladder while you hold the bottom rung to steady him, but his uncle ends up telling him to get down when he nearly slips off the roof.   “Imagine if you actually fell…”   The both of you looking up, squinting as you observe the old men bickering to one another about how to string the lights on. “You’d probably laugh and use my body for a ritual to summon a demon, huh?”   You turn to him, deadpanning, “How’d you know?”   What follows is snow hurled to your face and a shriek of his name. “Jeon Jungkook!”   Your body shakes with rage and you collect a snowball in your hands. But he takes cover in the backyard behind a tree, giggling boyishly like he’s four years old. “You coward! Come here!”   You chase after him at full speed, but he runs, laughing even more. You smack the back of his coat, but there’s no effect so you gather another one, patting the snow firmly to chuck it. You wish you had ice shards, so you can put it in and attack with full force.   You sprint after him before taking a leap, jumping onto his back. Unfortunately, your plan in tackling him doesn’t work. Jungkook doesn’t waver, knees not even buckling, but you adapt and slap the snowball to his face. He laughs, shaking you off and you fall onto your ass. It’s one bad thing after another considering you’re not fast enough to run away — and he chucks another one to your face.   Your aggressive shouts and Jungkook’s laughter draws the attention of the kids because they come out all bundled up in toques and scarves, cheeks overflowing above them. They march out in snow pants and thick coats, ready for battle.   “Be careful!” Jungkook’s aunt shouts from the porch before running back inside to hide from the frost.   “I wanna play! I wanna play!” Eunbi hops while Lia runs and falls back, making a giant snow angel.   “Come here, Eunbi! Come here!” Jungkook motions her over and she waddles. “We’re gonna get the evil witch!”   “Excuse me?!” you shriek and it makes the both of them giggle. You tell Lia to help you and she’s old enough to understand your instructions, making snowballs with you quickly as she laughs hysterically and tries to chuck them at Jungkook to no avail.   Lia is hit a few times by her feet, while you’re smacked straight at the neck, freezing snow melting down your shirt inside and making you cry out in agony. You try to smack Jungkook with one but then he holds Eunbi up so she can take the hit.   “Are you seriously using her as a shield?!” you scream at him.   “You gotta do whatever it takes to win!” Jungkook laughs like a maniac as his human child shield giggles along.   You’re unable to hit him at full capacity, but you get the upper hand when you tell Lia to sneak around. She shouts she’s going to the bathroom while you continue to fire light snowballs uselessly. But when the seven year old walks around the gate instead of going inside like she declared, she smacks Jungkook at the back of the head with a snowball, catching him off guard.   “Hey!”   At that moment, you rush him, trying to shovel snow down his coat. But his reflexes are too good. He lightly tosses Eunbi down on the fluffy surface and she laughs, making snow angels and Jungkook wrestles you. “I think not, witch!”   “If I’m a witch, you’re the grinch—!”   Jungkook successfully tackles you down, but you manage to rub snow all over his face, making him spaz.   In the meanwhile, his grandma, aunt and mom watch from the window, laughing hysterically. And the men up on the roof are speechless. “What are they doing?”   “You know how the youngins are.” They exchange a meaningful look, wishing they still had that same amount of energy.   //   Jungkook is a fucking lucky bastard — sometimes you can’t fathom it.   Not only does he have a great group of friends, but his family is amazing. He really has it all.   You find out his dad is an absolute airplane enthusiast, and he even shows you his aircraft collection of small planes he gathered over the years. He’s knowledgeable on all the models and tells you about a realistic flight simulator he’s planning to set up. His mother, on the other hand, can paint like a genius. The artwork in the living room that looked expensive was ones she painted and when you found out, your jaw dropped to the ground.   Everyone in his family also knows how to play chess ridiculously well and everyone seems to know how to play some kind of instrument. Jungkook’s grandma is teaching Lia piano, his aunt plays violin, his uncle is dedicated to guitar and Jungkook tells you he used to sort of dabble in drums.    You wouldn’t be surprised if he turns out to be a musical genius.    The gene pool of the Jeon family is just too strong. You can’t handle it.   And it’s no wonder he’s good in the kitchen. Everyone in his family is spectacular at cooking. You nearly start crying at dinner because of the sheer delicious taste of every dish presented in front of you. You thought you were in Heaven.   After dinner, there are games, and everyone calls it an early night to prepare for Christmas Eve the next day.   By the afternoon of the eve, the adults all leave for last minute Christmas shopping while you and Jungkook stay at home to babysit the kids.   “What are you two doing?” You approach said children when you finally snap out of the Charlie Brown Christmas special playing on the television, remembering it’s for the kids’ entertainment and not yours.   The both of them at the small table, scribbling on some paper. “We’re writing letters to Santa!”   “Oh, is that so?” You look over to see the chicken scratch. Eunbi can’t write yet so she draws pictures. “Wow, looks good. What does...this say?”   “It says cooking stuff, silly!”   “Right, silly me,” you laugh, endeared at how she wrote it as ‘Kooking’ like Jungkook’s name. “You want cooking stuff for Christmas?”   “Yeah.” Lia nods enthusiastically. “I saw on tv this oven and you get to make stuff and stuff.”   “Oh. You mean Easy Bake Oven?”   “Yeah!” Her drawing isn’t bad for a seven year old. “What do you want for Christmas?”   “Me?” You hum, considering it. “Maybe an A for my pastries class. What about you, Eunbi? What do you want Santa to give you tomorrow morning?”   “Chocolate!” she shrieks with laughter.   “She always wants chocolate,” Lia tells you listlessly.   “Candy! Cookies!”   You grin, lowering your voice like you’re about to tell them a secret. “Do you want to make cookies?”   All at once, there’s a change. Eunbi gasps. “Yeah!”   And Lia’s hand stops scribbling. “Can we really?”   You shrug. “I don’t see why not.”   It can’t be too hard.   But you’re sorely, sorely mistaken.   The moment you preheat the oven, Lia opens it and tells Eunbi to climb in — but you shut that down real quick, joke or not. When you melt the butter and turn around for one second, you come back to find Eunbi drinking the butter straight from the measuring cup.   Her lips greasy as she grins. “Yummy.”   “Oh my god—” You collect them together, keeping a reign for both kids. Calming down, you try to show them how to crack the eggs, but they’re clumsy and you end up having to fish eggshells out of the mixture.   As you’re cleaning, you hear a thump. When you whirl yourself around, the floor is coated in white. The flour bag is upside down on the ground.   “Uh-oh.” Eunbi giggles.   Lia’s hands are covered in the all-purpose flour, but she points to her younger sister. “She did it! Not me!”   You take a deep breath, mustering your patience. “It’s okay.”   But it’s not okay.   Not when they put in a cup of salt instead of sugar and you have to scoop it all out. Not when you wash their sticky fingers, clean their faces, and open drawers to look for a spatula to fold the mixture, but you hear giggles instead. Not when you slowly turn around to see them mixing the batter with their bare hands.   But with a sigh, you give in. Some of their techniques are physically painful to watch and make you cringe, but as long as they’re having fun, you’re not going to stop them.   Or at least until Eunbi sneezes straight into the batter.   “Okay, alright, let's not do that.”   “Can we eat it?”   “Eat it? You mean raw?”   Eunbi is already taking the cookie dough by the fistful. “Yummy!”   “Not too much.” You cringe as you watch them taste it. “You might get sick! Hey— Jeon Eunbi, take your hand out of the chocolate chip bag!”   The five year old grins, cherub cheeks rosy as her eyes glimmer with mischief. But after all the trials and tribulations, you finally get the tray of cookie batter into the oven.   In the meanwhile, Jeon Jungkook comes downstairs with a towel draped over his shoulder. His hair is still damp but he came down at the ruckus. He stops at the doorway of the kitchen, freezing as he regards the surroundings. “I left for one shower.”   “We made cookies, Kookie.” Lia grins with a milk moustache, sitting on the counter with her sister.   “They’re almost done,” you tell him sheepishly. “We’ll clean up soon.”   He hums as he looks at the floured floor and the sink overflowing with dishes. He wonders what happened. They’re just cookies — but it looks like a battlefield.   You approach him with a mug. “I made hot chocolate.”   “I thought chocolate was your nemesis.” Jungkook smiles, taking the cup. He notices the floating marshmallows and happily sips.   “I can melt it,” you chide. “I know how to do at least that much.”   You can hear giggles from the girls and at this point, you know it means they’re up to no good, so you turn around with your brow quirked. Jungkook is curious too and Eunbi answers the unsaid questions when she points above you both, right at the doorway.   “Mistletoe.” Lia laughs. “Eww, are you guys gonna kiss?”   You look at Jungkook, and he frowns. His expression wrinkles like he just bit into a lemon. “Gross.”   “Gross?! Excuse me?!” You loll your head to the side. “I’m gross to you?”   The boy grins. “Yeah. You are.”   “Give me back that hot chocolate.” You try to grab at it, but his reflexes are fast. Jungkook moves the mug out of the way and then above his head where it’s out of your reach.   “Nuh-uh. Finders keepers.”   “But I’m gross, aren’t I? You wouldn’t want to consume something made by a gross person.”   “I’ll make one exception.” He brings it down and quickly chugs the steaming hot chocolate.   “It’s hot, you idiot!” you shout, but like the masochist he is, he downs it all with a groan.   “Delicious.” Jungkook grins, wearing his milk moustache with pride.   You shake your head. “You’re ridiculous.”   He helps you clean and when the oven timer goes off, the scent of freshly baked cookies fill the home right in time as the adults arrive home. All twelve chocolate chip cookies are inhaled at an instant and you muse how the entire Jeon family has sweet tooths.    You share a cookie with Jungkook and it’s delicious for the disasters you had to go through.   The evening eventually settles in and they tell you about the family tradition of getting in ugly Christmas sweaters and taking a family photo. You’re touched when they show you the sweater they got, one in neon red plastered with dogs and cats in Christmas hats. Jungkook’s has batteries and physically lights up, and you can’t stop laughing.   “I feel like a tree.”   “You almost look as pretty as one, Jeon.”   It’s cute when they waddle together in front of the fireplace and you wonder what it takes to have a family like this. “What camera are you using?” you ask. “I can take it for you.”   “Oh no, dear. Don’t be silly! Come in, come in!” Jungkook’s grandma motions you over.   His uncle moves to a cabinet. “We have a tripod!”   But you hesitate. “Uh, are you sure?”   “Why wouldn’t we? If you spend Christmas with us, you’re family. Get in here!” His mother moves aside. “Stand beside Jungkook.”   Everyone shuffles, creating a perfect slot for you to join with the Jeon family. Jungkook even slings an arm over your shoulder, giving this biggest and most boyish smile of life. His uncle clicks the button and runs to his spot. The light begins to flash. “Everyone! Say cheese!”   With one snap, the moment is engrained forever.   Dinner is delicious like last night and it feels like you’re being stuffed like a pig. Your stomach nearly bursts at the seams and you would fall into a food coma if not for how Jungkook drags you along to go caroling with the rest of his family.   “I’ve never been caroling before.”   “Yeah, well, it’s something my grandma likes to do. She used to do it when she was young and she freaks out if any of us say we don’t want to go. Personally, I don’t like caroling. It feels like I’m a car salesman harassing people.”   You know what he means when he’s swaying from side to side awkwardly on some stranger’s lawn while his dad knocks on the door and everybody else waits for it to open. Jungkook looks out of place. But the minute he opens his mouth to sing Silent Night — it’s fucking angelic.    You’re shocked, like you found out the devil actually has a halo above his head.   The lady and her child thank you all for the song and while walking, Jungkook finds you staring intently at him. “What?”   “Since when did you sing?!”   “I don’t.”   “How can you say you don’t?! You literally sound like perfection.”   The sudden praise makes laughter bubble out of his throat, a cloud of condensation emitting from his parted lips. His aunt turns around with a smile. “That’s what I’ve always told him. I’m glad someone else can recognize it.”   “I remember when Jungkook was just a small boy,” his grandma pipes up. “He sang so well, knew all the lyrics, and all the neighbours were so surprised. He was so cute, even the grumpiest of grumps would be melting because of him.”   “Remember when he would start crying if he didn’t get the main part or had the harmony?”   “God, can we not talk about this?” Jungkook cringes.   But you grin. “No please, keep going. I’m so curious now.”   “Well one winter…” His mom hugs your arm, leaning into you like she’s sharing a secret. “He peed himself but didn’t want to tell anyone because he was scared caroling was going to be cut short and it ended up freezing in his pants. Poor child got a butt rash afterwards.”   “You peed yourself for caroling?” you ask incredulously.   “I don’t recall,” he deadpans.   “Oh, he used to pee himself all the time,” Jungkook’s dad clarifies. “There was an incident on a plane—”   “That’s enough of that.” He puts a hand on your shoulder and pushes you forward at a fast pace. You laugh as the two of you walk way ahead of the rest of his family and how Lia and Eunbi begin to sing-song that Kookie’s a bed wetter.   Despite being out in the cold at night, you didn’t know your Christmas would end up so warm, surrounded by people who treat you as one of their own. You feel lucky. Privileged to be part of it.   The rest of Christmas Eve is spent around a fire and the tree until it’s lights out at nine. It’s early again since the adults know that the kids will end up making it an early morning the next day. So with cookies and milk left out, you bid your goodnights. But their predictions end up exactly as said after many years of celebrating the gift-giving holiday together.   Right at five thirty with the sun barely risen, you’re shaken away by Jungkook.   “What’s going on?”   Your bleary eyes blink and you rub at them. Jungkook’s tender grin and sparkling eyes are the first thing your vision focuses on. His hair shags over his forehead as he stares down at you. “Get up, sleepyhead. We’re all opening presents.”   “It’s so early,” you whine, but he tugs the covers off anyhow and helps you stand on your feet.   Jungkook ruffles your bed head. “I know.”   The two of you make your way downstairs. The adults are already hugging their coffee cups while Lia and Eunbi tear up their gifts that Santa left them. Christmas melodies are turned on for background noise, and there are hugs and gasps given during the exchange of presents.    You’re given one too.   “For me?”   “Yes, we managed to pick up something yesterday for you, dear. If Jungkook had told us beforehand he was bringing such a nice friend, we would’ve gotten something better.”   You open up the box to find a red, wool scarf. The texture is soft and it looks warm enough to protect you from the cold Winter wind. You’re touched beyond belief. “T-Thank you, I love it.”   “We’re glad.”   “I-I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”   “Please, your presence is more than enough, sweetheart.”   “I got this for you, Y/N!” Lia comes over with a piece of paper. “Eunbi and I drew it yesterday, well I did most of the work, but she drew you. Thanks for spending Christmas with us!”   “I love it. Thank you.”   Jungkook watches with a gooey smile. It’s good to see you like this — for once not moping around or crying after some guy that didn’t know your worth anyway. But what he catches him off guard further is when he’s tugged away into the hall by you.   Your arm extends, holding a bag haphazardly.   “Sorry, I forgot to wrap it,” you mutter, barely coherently. Your vision is diverted elsewhere, looking towards the ceiling so you can spare yourself the embarrassment of how he’ll react.   But if you looked, you’d see that Jungkook’s grin could almost break his face. He takes it. “Isn’t this the souvenir you got at the rest stop?”   “Well, I lied. It’s not a souvenir. Open it.”   He does. Quickly. With much anticipation.   You lean over to watch him.   Inside the bag is a box. Jungkook tears it open to find a simple, white mug. But across the surface in black text, it’s written ‘Jungkook — World’s Best Chocolatier’.    “I found an engraving place. Took ten minutes. It’s nothing. But see? I can be thoughtful. Sometimes…”   You pause. There’s silence so you look at him to gauge his reaction. His face is blank, hard to read. Damn. You had second thoughts in the moment but you didn’t think he would hate it this muc—   Suddenly, you’re being hugged.   Jungkook has his arms wrapped around your shoulders, and he pushes you into his chest. “I fucking love it, you witch.”   You smile, a rush of air leaving your nose. “Glad you like it, grinch.”   He muses that you’re the most softhearted witch on the planet.   Jungkook can’t yet pinpoint the reason why, but he knows without a doubt that this is the warmest Christmas he’s had.

I cannot believe that we are already in June. I don't know where the time has gone. This month, I thought it would be fun to do the mid-year book freakout tag! This is a really popular tag on YouTube, and you can find the creators of the tag here and here. Also, thank you to Ellias from his channel Ellias for writing the questions out.

The Questions:

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2021.

Alright so right off the bat we're going to have a tie here. After I finished The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern I wanted to reread it immediately. Lovely War by Julie Berry was a bit of a wildcard buy back in January, and it turned out to be so beautiful and emotional and hopeful that it immediately jumped into the running for favorite.

2. Best sequel you've read so far in 2021.

So I haven't read a ton of series or sequels this year, but I guess it will have to be Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas. I was enthralled by reading this. There was so much action and heartbreak, and the last few chapters completely broke me.

3. New release you haven't read yet, but want to.

Hmmmm. This came out about a month ago, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. It is The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year.

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr. I was approved for an ARC of it on NetGalley, and when I tell you my jaw hit the floor and I danced in excitement, I'm not exaggerating.

5. Biggest disappointment.

The Guest List by Lucy Foley. I was so excited for it, because it seemed like something I would love. I was so disappointed when the characters weren't relatable or lovable and just all around unlikable.

6. Biggest surprise.

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo. I knew that it was probably going to be a great book, but wow was I blown away. I listened to the audiobook which really brought the story to life. The emotion of the author and the other voice actor brings you into the story and will captivate you to the very last word.

7. Favourite new author. (Debut or new to you)

Ruta Sepetys has become an auto-buy author for me now.

8. Newest fictional crush.

I don't know, I don't really crush on characters that hard. Maybe Ned Lightbourne from The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels?

9. Newest favourite character.

I can't pick just one lol. However, if a movie was made of The Night Circus, I would like to be Celia, if a movie was made of The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, I would like to be Cecilia. They're both just interesting people to me. I am also quite fond of Aphrodite and Hazel from Lovely War.

10. Book that made you cry.

Salt to the Sea and Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys.

11. Book that made you happy.

The House in the Cerulean Sea. So good.

12. Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received)

If we're talking covers, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels. If we're talking actual story, Lovely War.

13. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

All the books on my NetGalley account lol. I would also like to read The Priory of the Orange Tree, Infinite Country, The Vanishing Half, These Violent Delights, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Well, thank you for sticking around! I hope you enjoyed!

Top 12 Books of 2020

In this crazy year of 2020 I only read 32 books, but that doesn’t mean that I still don’t have too many good five star books that I want to share. But because I’m pretending that this is a top ten list with two honourable mentions, I had to narrow it down to only my top twelve. So let's get started.

12. Catharsis: Pain by Rowan Dugray

To start off, I wanted to mention this really amazing collection of poetry that I picked up. It’s not very well known but it is really well done. Since I’m not the biggest fan of poetry, I usually stray away or get very nervous going into a poetry novel, but this one was a nice surprise. I didn’t let myself dwell on the fact that I don’t always understand the intended meaning of the poems, and instead let myself take my own meaning from the words. In the end I felt like I really had gone through a process of catharsis and released a lot of built up tensions and emotions. A great read.

11. Vow of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson

This book is the second book in the Dance of Thieves duology and it was a treat to get back into the Remnant Chronicles world. It had been a while since I had read the first book so it took a bit for the character relationships and names to come back to me, but after they did this book was a great conclusion. I loved all of the big plot twists and the way that the story went, and couldn't have asked for a more well done novel.

10. Illuminae by Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff

This book was a surprise hit which I had been putting off for a while, so I was happy when I finally got to it. The way that the novel is written and presented intimidated me a bit, but I was surprised with how easy it was to read after I got into it. But the biggest surprise, which made for a wild experience, was that the book had a big plot line of a deadly virus. It was kind of scary cause it hit so close to home, but also made it relevant and somehow better. It was a great example of how reading a book at a perfect time in your life enhances so many things about it and that was definitely this one for me. So if you’re into sci-fi books, check this one out.

9. Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody

Next was my first experience reading a Amanda Foody novel although I’ve wanted to read her stuff for a while, and I was not disappointed. This book has some similarities with Caraval, where both have sort of game elements, although this one goes more in the direction of gangs and crime bosses which I loved. The whole book was very well done and fast paced where I just wanted to keep reading until I got to the point that I just couldn’t put it down at the end. Highly highly recommend it, and I can’t wait to get into the next one sometime this year.

8. A Crystal of Time by Soman Chainani

Again this is one that I had been putting off because I hadn’t read the other ones in the series for a while, but when I finally committed to picking this one up I was shocked with how much I enjoyed it. I thought that the book before this one in the School for Good and Evil series kind of repeated a lot of plot points from the previous three books, but this one took a whole different turn. It was nice to see the familiar characters again, but I felt that some of the newer characters were also just as intriguing and kept me wanting more. Now I’m just hoping I don’t take another crazy long time to pick up the last book, especially since it’s already out.

7. The Lost Book of the White by Cassandra Clare & Wesley Chu

No surprise that this book is on my list since it’s a Cassandra Clare novel, and it’s also filled full of Magnus and Alec. This one was super light hearted and fun and was a nice break from the rest of the world. All of Cassandra Clare’s books are just comforting and it feels like I’m coming home every time I get into one. There’s humor, friendship, romance, demons, and shadowhunters… What else could you ask for?

6. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Finally we’re halfway and boy are we getting to the goodies! This is the second book I’ve read by Taylor Jenkins Reid and it matched and exceeded all of my expectations. I didn’t think anything of hers could top Daisy Jones and the Six, but this one did. I’m not saying that Daisy Jones isn’t amazing, but Evelyn Hugo is just a whole different type of moment. I don’t even know how to explain it. All I can say is if you love old hollywood stories with all of the drama and show biz it brings, then you will fall in love with this novel.

5. Beartown by Fredrik Backman

This book was my first Fredrik Backman read that I finished all the way back in January, so exactly a year ago, but I have to say that it is still stuck in my head. I frequently still think about this book and the story, and I badly want to read all of Fredrik Backman’s novels. His writing style is so unique and the way he fits every part of this story together is incredible. It’s actually the work of a genius! Beartown is all about a hockey town and the dark places it can go when too much pressure is put on young teenage boys. 

4. Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

Unlike Beartown, this is a recent read for me, and I have a feeling it will stay in my head like Beartown but in a totally different way. It is written in Fredrik Backman’s same style that Beartown was written in, although it goes back and forth between timelines, which made it to be a wild ride. There were so many plot twists in this novel that I was jumping up and down in every chapter. It was crazy! I loved how this one shows the natural ways that life can suck which made it so relatable and probably why it beat Beartown in the end, even though I didn’t think any other Fredrik Backman book could. 

3. I Would Leave Me If I Could by Halsey

Now in the top three we have my three favourite creators in the world!! First here we have Halsey, who I hadn’t expected to publish a book, but I’m more than happy that she did. Halsey, being a woman of many many many talents, did not disappoint in this beautiful poetry collection. Again, I’m not the biggest fan of poetry, but Halsey has made me rethink that. I think because I’ve been such a big fan for a while now, her poetry was that much more special for me. So many of her poems are where my favourite lyrics to her songs originated, so to see the way and form that they were first born was very personal. There’s nothing more to say than I just love it.

2. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare

Well since I wrote a whole long review about how much I love this book, it’s not surprising to see that it’s almost first on the list. This book was one of the best books I’ve ever read, and it is agonizing to have to wait for the next one. If you want a more concrete reason for why I love this book so much, then you can read my review for it which is on my post list. Besides that, I guess I just have to say that I love this book so much and everyone should read it and all of Cassandra Clare’s novels.

1. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

And now we have finally come to my favourite book of 2020, House of Earth and Blood. Sarah. J Maas is my second favourite author of all time, beaten only by Cassandra Clare, but at first I have to say that I was worried about this book. It wasn’t purely about the Fae or had a connection with the Throne of Glass or ACOTOR series. For those reasons I wasn’t sure I was going to fall in love with it as much. Oh how wrong I was. This book is an absolute masterpiece. There isn’t much more to say. It is filled with grief, romance, but has a very prominent theme of friendship at its core that was what really hit me hard. Everything about this book was amazing and every character was amazingly developed and interesting. I could not put it down and even though it was supremely long, I was never bored. Not one page. It was just incredible. If you are over 18 and like fantasy novels, read this book. You will be doing yourself a favour. 

And that concludes my list of favourite books in 2020! I hope some of these spark your interest and become your favourites in the future.

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews

Because Two People Got Drunk: 11

Series Masterlist

A/N: Never be with someone like Mike, find someone who has respect for you and everyone they meet!

Summary: You bring Oliver to some team functions and meet some of the wags and players. You test out the dating pool for the first time since getting pregnant.

Warnings: Angst, swearing

Word Count: 4100

Chapter 11

January 26, 2022

Fred returns from a morning skate, with a game later that night. He has a small bag in his hand that he sets on the coffee table before sitting beside you on the couch as Oliver is lying on his play mat.

“Hey can I talk to you for a sec?” he asks.

“Yeah”

“So I was wondering if you wanted to come with Oliver to the game tonight.”

You stare at him, not completely unreasonable. Most wags brought their kids to games or at least warm ups. Even though you weren’t a wag you were the only person who could bring Ollie, as you hadn’t even discussed if there was a need for a part time nanny. What else would you be doing on this Wednesday night?

“If you think he is too young or are uncomfortable with it, it’s not -"

“Yeah let’s do it. He’s more active and alert I think he’ll love to go.”

Fred smiles “good cause I got him this." He leans forward to grab the bag, he reaches in the bag to pull out a very tiny Penguin’s home jersey, it has his number but instead of his last name it says daddy . “His last one was getting a little tight” he says as you smile.

“You knew I was going to say yes this whole time.”

“I feel like I know you pretty well, and it’s for 3-6 months. I figured at some point in the next three months you would bring him so he can see his old man play” he says picking up Oliver who reaches for his dads face smiling.

You chuckle lightly. Fred kisses Oliver’s head “I’ll get a ride to and from the game so you can take my car with the car seat and leave early if needed. I’m going to go nap” he says handing you Oliver.

Later that night you pull up to the underground parking for family and players. You pull the car seat out and his diaper bag as you drop your purse “damn little lands” you mumble.

“Oh, let me help you" you hear as someone reaches down and grabs your purse for you “I’m Kathy, Sidney’s girlfriend. You must be (Y/N) I heard you would be coming tonight.” She says taking the diaper bag from your shoulder.

“Thanks, I didn’t think I needed a stroller for the small walk into the building,” you say smiling “probably could have helped.” You make small talk as she leads you to the WAG lounge where you are introduced to more beautiful women.

“Oh he has Fred’s eyes” one says “and his hair.” You pull him from the car seat and hand him off to Christina. You make casual conversation with them “want to go down for the warm up?” Kathy asks.

You nod scooping up Oliver, laughing as the women groan and grumble “don’t worry I’ll be back ladies” you say taking his little hand to wave goodbye.

“They can be a lot sometimes” Kathy starts “but they are great girls. We’re like a family, a bunch of sisters” you nod as you approach the glass. Fred see’s you and skates to the glass taping in front of Oliver’s face, Oliver stares at him.

You shift Oliver, instead of lying in your arms he is upright looking through the glass at Fred. Fred continues tapping on the glass smiling at his son.

“Oh that’s so cute” Kathy says.

“Yeah he is the best dad. Oliver’s really lucky” you start staring at your son “but so am I. This has been a crazy few months and although it’s not an ideal situation I wouldn’t want it with anyone else.” Fred skates away as the warmup is done up as you and Kathy find your seats.

“How are you doing with all this?” she gestures around the rink.

“For the most part he has kept it all pretty private. I mean even when he was born the team labelled it a ‘personal situation’ to the press, they didn’t say the birth of his son. I honestly don’t know if anyone outside last year’s leafs and some of this year pens know about him. Fred hasn’t posted anything on social media but he doesn’t put a whole lot on there.”

“How are you doing with the living situation, I know you are staying at Fred’s.”

“Yeah it’s been good; there have been these moments of like tension sometimes. Or at least I think there have been, maybe I’m imagining it, I don’t know.”

“Tension? Like fights?”

“No, more like sexual tension” You start as Kathy nods. “But I’m not sure. I think it will be better once I find a place of my own.”

“Oh Fred didn’t mention you were leaving.”

“Yeah I haven’t brought it up to him, I mentioned it back when I was pregnant but we decided to play it out.  I think it will be better if I leave, then we can date if we want too.”

“Do you want to date?”

“I don’t know, I was at a coffee shop the other day and started talking to someone while in line and gave him my number.” Kathy keeps staring at you “He has messaged me a bit, wants to meet up but I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

Just as she is about to respond Oliver starts to cry “it’s probably the noise cancelling headphones, he is not a fan of them” you explain. Kathy nods as you head to the suite. You feed Oliver and change him into his penguin pyjamas as you set him in the car seat.

“Oh don’t leave” Christina cries.

“I can stick around for a bit, it’s just easier to have him in there in case he falls asleep later on.”

“Nonsense” she says grabbing him and scooping him up. “He will be perfectly fine right here” and he watched the remainder of the game being passed around between the women. When the final buzzer goes the Penguins have beat the senators 3-0, you didn’t mean to stay the whole time but Oliver didn’t fuss much and you were distracted talking to the girls.

Kathy leads you down to the area where you can wait for Fred after the game. Slowly players begin to trickle out, when Sidney comes out wrapping his arms around Kathy giving her a light kiss.

He turns to you “You must be (Y/N) and this guy must be Oliver” he says bending down to look at Oliver, who is asleep in his car seat on the floor.

“Yeah it’s nice to meet you.”

“Fred should be out soon, the media always has questions for the goalie after a shutout. Must have been his good luck charms he brought tonight” he gives you a soft smile. “Yeah” you chuckle in response.

“Well we better get going. Bye (Y/N). Nice meeting you” Sid says. “Yeah you too.”

Fred slowly strolls out a few minutes later looking down at his phone. He has on a black three piece game day suit, with his tie loosely hung around his neck.  The top two buttons of his shirt are undone providing you a glance at his chest, his hair was thrown to one side partially wet from the shower, seeing him like this makes you weak in the knees. He almost walks by until you call his name.

“Hey” he pulls you in for a hug. You smell his cologne mixed with his body wash, being pressed up against him breathing him causes your throat to catch. “I’m surprised you guys are still here.”

“Yeah the girls didn’t want to let go of him all night, I think they held onto him so he couldn’t leave.” He chuckles into your hair.

“Whatever the reason I’m glad you’re here” he says releasing you and picking up the car seat.

January 27, 2022

You wake up with Oliver and feed him leaving him on his play mat. As you are brewing coffee you hear Fred’s feet on the hardwood in the living room. He walks over to Ollie scooping him up from his swing “morning” he says.

“Morning. Coffee’s on, I’m going to go shower” you state heading down the hall. After your shower you return and hear Fred talking in hushed tones in the kitchen. “I don’t understand how this happened, I should have been consulted first.” You turn the corner from the hall to the kitchen and see he is on the phone “I have to go” he spits out before hanging up.

“Everything okay?” you question as you go to make a coffee.

“I have to tell you something” he starts as you sit at the island, Fred sits beside you holding Ollie in his lap. “So last night when you came to the game the Pen’s social media took some footage of you two.”

“Okay…” you respond waiting for him to continue.

“When you brought him to the glass they took a video of you holding him and put it on their story. They also took a picture where you can see the 3 of us. In both of these you can see his jersey that says Daddy on the back. The picture was posted that on their actual Instagram page after the game, with some caption about being daddy’s good luck charm.”

You casually take a sip of your coffee “and you are upset about this?” you question.

“Well I mean yeah. I have kept him hidden from my life, and I feel like I should have posted a picture of him before the team” you nod. “But you aren’t upset?” He asks kind of confused.

“I mean his dad is a professional athlete so I would be naïve to think he wouldn’t be photographed from time to time. But I don’t care if you keep him 100% hidden from that part of your life. It’s your choice, because it’s your career that will bring him into the light. If you want to post pictures you can, he is your son I won’t be upset about it. I’m not upset that his picture is posted but I get why it’s upsetting the team doing it before you.”

“You don’t care if I post pictures of him?”

“No. I post pictures of him all the time.” “Yeah but you are set to private.” “Would it bother you if I was set to public and posted pictures of him.”

“Well no, not at all.”

“Well that’s how I feel. He is your son so if you want to post pictures or videos post them, if you don’t want to then don’t. It’s your choice.”

“Are you upset about your face being shown in the picture?” he asks.

You shrug before answering “well they didn’t tag me in it. And nobody knows who I am, so I doubt people will be able to figure out who I am or find my page. And even if they do I’m private, I don’t accept people I don’t know so it’s not a big deal to me.”

“Oh I was mostly upset because I thought you would be. But since you’re not I guess I can call the team back before someone gets fired over it.”

“Good idea” you laugh. Fred hands you Ollie and stands up, just as he is leaving the room he turns around. “We have a family event this Sunday with the team.” He starts before pausing briefly “You guys want to come?”

“Of course” you smile, bouncing Oliver on your leg “it will be fun” you continue leaning in to kiss his cheek as he laughs. Fred stops and comes over to him “is that the first time he’s laughed?” he exclaims.

“Yeah it is! Quick get your phone!”

Fred pulls his phone out to videotape him “do it again” he says. You lean in kissing his cheek as you gently tickle his side. Oliver’s cute baby laughter fills the room as you continue doing it. Oliver stops and Fred turns the camera off kissing the top of Oliver’s head as he leans in to hug you. He kisses your hair “I can’t believe he did that” Fred whispers. He holds you for maybe a little too long before you chime in “Do you think you can watch Oliver tonight?” you question.

He pulls away “yeah of course. You going somewhere or just need a night off?”

“Um yeah… I was invited out to dinner” you answer shifting your eyes to Oliver “with Mike.”

You bounce Oliver a few times before you hear “like a date?”

You look up and see the disappointment in his eyes “I think so.”

“Oh. Well yeah Ollie and I will have a great time” he says scooping him from your arms “won’t we buddy.”

Later that day you are finishing getting ready for you date, Mike said he would pick you up at 7. It’s about 6:30 now. You straightened your hair and done your makeup as you stand looking into your closet. You settle on a simple black dress, has 3/4 sleeves with a high neck and ends just above your knees. You pair it with some high black boots. You walk out into the living room and see Fred carrying Oliver to the couch with a bottle in his hand. He tries to be subtly but you see his eyes lingering longer than they should, “you look nice” he says.

“Thanks” you say lightly.

Mike shows up late, at 7:20 and doesn’t even acknowledge that he is late, Fred went down to his room a little while ago, likely to avoid any awkward situations. He hands you a bouquet of roses “thanks” you say taking them from him “let me just put them in some water.” You walk to the kitchen, leaving Mike at the door to find a vase. You quickly place them in the corner of the kitchen before leaving with Mike.

The drive is painfully slow, the man beside you doesn’t seem like the man you met or have been texting with. He has told you multiple stories about “hanging with the guys” and some of the stuff that they do. He originally seemed sweet but at now he is coming across as a dick.

“Can you believe she brought us that?” he scoffs. “Like who wants the ’77, that wine is just trash.” You stare at him, unsure on how to respond. It seemed like a simple mistake to you, not something to berate the waitress over.

“What do you do for work?” he finally asks after an hour of talking about himself.

You shift slightly in your seat “I um work for an environmental consulting firm back in Toronto.”

“Oh why are you in Pittsburgh then?”

You take a deep breath “I am here on maternity leave, my sons father lives here so I came here.”

“Oh that’s awesome I love kids” he says, but somehow you don’t believe him. “So you heading back there after maternity leave or are you moving here for good?”

“Yeah I plan on leaving after my leave is over. I don’t have visas or a job to work down here” you say as you see a devilish grin come across his face. “So you’re not looking for something too serious then eh?” You aren’t sure how to process his question, but it is becoming very apparent to you what he is expecting from this.

As dinner wraps up you continue to become annoyed by Mike, he is continuously rude to the staff at the restaurant.

“Any dessert tonight?” your server asks.

Mike looks to you “I’m actually pretty full” you say lightly, trying to get out of this date as soon as possible. “Just the cheque please” Mike says to her.

After paying Mike heads to the bathroom. You put your coat on and look at the bill and realize he provided an extremely low tip. “What a dick” you mutter as you pull two twenties from your wallet and quickly slide them in the envelope.

“You ready?” you hear from behind you as you pull your hair out from inside your coat. You turn to walk in front of him, putting your hands in your pocket.

During the drive home he reaches over and rests his right hand on your thigh and begins sliding it up your leg. You grab his hand and push it off your leg toward the steering wheel. About 10 minutes in to the date you knew you weren’t going to see him again, and you wish you had of walked out then. He pulls up and parks in front of your building, you undo your seatbelt as you reach for your bag.

“Thanks for dinner” you say reaching for the door. You feel him reach across and turn your face to look at him. He leans in for a kiss as his hand firmly grips your leg. He begins sliding up, lifting the hem of your dress. You turn away from him “I feel like you got the wrong impression” you say removing his hand from your leg “I’m not interested in seeing you again.”

“You don’t need to see me again, just keep seeing me a little bit longer tonight” he moves you hair behind your ear “it will be fun.” His hand is back on your leg when you forcefully push him off you and quickly reach for the door practically running out the door.

You run to the elevator, your heart pacing as you step in trying to calm yourself. You don’t stop running until you are inside your apartment with the door locked behind you. You walk into the apartment the lights are off, but you can see the TV glow coming from Fred’s door indicating he is still awake. You kick your shoes and coat off as you walk to the kitchen to get a drink. You notice Fred moved the flowers to the middle of the island to be on display. Normally something so sweet would make you smile, but seeing them makes you angry.

Seeing them just reminds you of how big of a douche Mike was, and how terrible tonight was. You reach for the flowers to throw them in the trash but instead knock it the vase over, shattering on the floor.

You bend down picking up some of the larger pieces by hand. You are so agitated and stressed by the night’s events tears begin to build in your eyes. Through your blurry eyes you feel a piece of glass cut your palm as you mumble “fuck.”

“You okay?” you hear Fred question. “Yeah” you whisper. Fred see’s you gripping your hand, with blood dripping down.

“You’re bleeding, you’re not okay” he says leading you to the sink. He helps rinse your hand, he runs his thumb over the cut “I don’t think there is any glass in there. Stay here I’ll get some bandages.”

He comes back into the room with a first aid kit, and places some bandages on your palm.

“That should do it” he says.

“Thanks” you mutter.

Fred walks away to grab the broom and begins to sweep up the smaller pieces as you start cleaning up the water. The mess is cleaned but you are still on your knees with paper towel. You don’t want to stand up and let Fred see you cry so you are trying to stifle your tears.

Fred bends down beside you “It’s just a vase and some flowers, it’s not a big deal” he says tilting your chin up and wiping your tears. “I don’t care about the stupid flowers, I was trying to throw them out.”

“Why?” he questions.

“Date was that good” you mumble.

Fred pulls you in for a hug “want to talk about it?” he asks.

“No I want to put on pyjamas and forget tonight happened” you say before abruptly walking away to your room.

January 30, 2020

You and Fred haven’t discussed your date or that night since it happened. Today is the day of the family skate, you arrive dressed in jeans with a light sweater and bomber jacket, with a Pens toque Fred made you wear. Fred leads you to a dressing room handing you some skates “oh if I knew we were skating I could have brought my own. I played growing up a bit.”

“Oh I didn’t know, can’t wait to be dazzled by your skating abilities” he teases.

“I stopped playing the year my parents died. I started up again in college, but I’m not the best.”

“So I should carry Ollie.”

“Yes, 100%” you respond. After strapping his skates on he puts on the baby carrier sliding Oliver into the front of it. He looked so small pressed up against Fred’s chest in his snowsuit. “Oh he is so cute” you hear a wife say.

Fred grabs your hand and leads you to the ice “you ready to see mama’s skating abilities?” he questions touching Oliver’s cheek. You step on and begin skating, turning around to go backward too “Impressive” he says catching up to you. You do a few more laps before you begin to lose your balance when Fred sticks his hand under your elbow to support you. You skate a few more times before heading to get some water where you make casual conversation with Sid, Evgeni and Anna. “What are they talking about?” Evgeni questions. You all look to centre ice seeing Kathy talking to Freddie, in what appears to be an intense conversation. “Who knows” you shrug.

“That video Fred posted was adorable” Anna says.

“What video?” “The one with you and Oliver and he is laughing. It’s just the cutest. Baby laughs are the best.” You smile “yeah.” You aren’t surprised that Fred posted something of Oliver but you are surprised he posted with you in it.

Shortly after you all get off the ice and head to the team dinner. Fred places Oliver’s car seat on the floor and sits at the end of the bench so he can keep an eye on him. You sit beside him as Kathy and Sidney sit across from you. The four of you sit there drinking as the night wears on, your wine glass almost never emptying as Kathy keeps refilling it.

“So we’re going to watch Oliver for a night in the near future” Kathy says to Sidney.

“Oh really?” he questions

“Yeah give them a night off and get us some practice for when we have one” she quips and Sid chuckles lightly. You give Fred a light glance and he shrugs, but you know he knows what she is talking about. He leaves to change and feed Oliver, returning beside you but this time sitting closer to you. He puts his left hand on the bench behind you, gently grazing your ass as your breath gets caught in your throat. You sit there as you finally check your watch realizing its 9:30.

“Whoa, we should get going eh Fred” you say showing him the time.

“Yeah we better get the little guy to bed.”

 Dress for you date:

Next Chapter 

The Parent Trap, Chapter 9 (Biadore) - Henny

A/N: Thank you for the comments, Hennies! Y’all are making me feel like Ariel in the beginning of Little Mermaid 2 :> I missed all of you too! Sorry if there was a problem with the formatting of the previous chapter; completely my fault!

OH, and if you’re confused with the timeline, I’ll simplify it for you:

RPDR Season 6 (filming) ended around Mid-July of 2013 (assuming it takes about a year or so before it is released). January 2014; Roy and Danny started dating. 6 months after that, June 2014, a month after Bianca wins, they get married. A year later, the couple gets baby fever, so they start looking for the perfect surrogate and egg donor. This is where I deflect a bit from the prologue, it takes them until May 2016 to conceive.

TLDR; the fic takes place July 2026, and RPDR is currently airing S19 with THE AS:BoTW filming the very same year . If I had said anything contrary to those stated above, disregard it. This is the new timeline I’m going to follow going forward.

All the love, Hennies!

XOXO, Henny

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Well, would you be interested in joining the first All-Stars: Battle of the Winners in place of Bianca?”

The way Adore gaped at her phone was almost comedic, mouth opening and closing like a fish. In some way, she’s almost flattered at the fact that Ru called personally instead of a producer. It’s almost very considerate, since the man knew what had gone between Danny and Roy.

“Well, last time I checked, you didn’t crown me, Mama…” Adore adds a teasing tone to her voice, and tries to ignore the nerves that seemed to resurface at the idea of returning back to the competition. It’s been many years since Season 6, and Adore has genuinely forgotten how it feels to be on a platform like that again. Focusing on her music as both Adore and Danny has shifted the focus of her career as a drag queen and performer; and with many seasons passed, she knew her charm has run dry with Drag Race fans.

Ru laughs, the iconic shrill making Adore spiral back into the werkroom. “I didn’t, didn’t I?” He laughs again, and Adore can only imagine him wiping a fake tear. “But, I am planning to release the footage of you and Bianca winning to prove that my decision to invite you has some bearing, at the least.”

Adore inwardly groans again, remembering the night of the finale wherein they filmed the ending of her and Bianca winning together. She feels the ghost of Bianca’s hands squeezing her own as they waved and the sparkly confetti rains and glitters of lights from cameras blinded their eyes; applause and cheers roaring in their ears.

“What will the other queens say? The winners, I mean. It’s not like they’ll consider me a winner, especially the newer queens.” Ever the anxious person that she is, she finds a brush to fiddle with to lessen her anxiety.

“My competition, my rules. Whatever I say goes, Baby. They can say whatever they want, but if they’re smart enough, they’ll pipe up. And, besides…” Ru trails off excitedly, like they were sharing a secret. “Since this is only a Netflix special, I’m only doing the first decade season winners. I’m sure they’ll be nicer to you than recent ones.“

“All of them said yes?”

“All, but one, you already know…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“So, what do you say?”

“I- I don’t know, Ru. I’ll think about it…”

“Of course, let the producers know soon, alright? Filming starts October! Toodles!”

The call ends, and it takes everything in Adore’s willpower not to throw it to the wall. She looks at her phone’s lock screen and sees the beaming face of Portia, and she manages to calm down. She stands up, grabs a pre-rolled joint in her makeup kit, and heads out of the building after shouting to the manager to inform him about her whereabouts. She normally didn’t do this anymore; smoking, hard liquor, and even hooking up with trades that come her way. Portia had completely turned her life around, and so did Roy and Nerissa. “Fuck,” Tears fill her eyes again at the thought of her daughter who she no longer knew, she sniffles as she takes a long drag of her joint and breathing out harshly.

A tall figure looms over her, and with a tap on her shoulder, she nearly doubled over in fear. “What the fuckkk…” She groans, clutching her heart.

“Oh, sorry… Didn’t mean to scare you.” Adore looks up to meet the steel eyes of a blonde stud with a smug smile on his face.

“Shit, I know you…” Adore murmurs in thought, before she remembers “You’re Brooke, right?”

“Brooke Lynn Hytes, yeah.” He flashes her a beautiful, gorgeous smile, pearly whites and all. “…But right now, uhh,” He looks down to his jeans and plain gray shirt, “You can call me, Brock.”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Okay, give me another one.” Portia looks at her cards, one five of hearts and the other six of spades. It was really late and they just finished washing the dishes of the entire camp after dinner. Not tired from their post-cry-emotional nap earlier, they had decided to play a game of Blackjack. Nerissa deals her another card, and picks one for herself. Portia peaks at the new card, and sees her nine of spades. She joins the cards together, and places them down in triumph.

“20, let’s see yours, Haylock.”

Nerissa drops her cards, a jack of diamonds, two of clubs, and nine of clubs. “Blackjack, bitchh…” She taunts, laughing at Portia’s dismayed face.

“That’s not fucking fair…” Portia drawls, “That’s your 9th time winning, I think you’re cheating…”

“Oh, please. You just play your cards wrong, and sometimes, I’m just really lucky…” Nerissa beams as she watches Portia fix the cards and put it back in their case, murmuring “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“It’s getting pretty late, too. I think we should go to bed.” Nerissa yawns as she grabs her blanket and tries to settle herself in. Portia agrees before standing up to lock their door; to make sure the windows are tightly shut; and to turn off the light. The moon shines at its brightest, a cool silver light shimmers through their window.

“I know it’s late, but I’m not even remotely sleepy.” Portia comments despite the yawn the escapes her.

“Same here,” Nerissa says with droopy eyes.

“Tell me, what’s Bianca like? No… noo…What’s dad like?” Portia asks, adjusting herself so she faces her sister. The mere idea of having a sister and having Roy Haylock AKA Bianca Del Rio, THE Bianca Del Rio is possibly 50% her dad makes her more giddy than anything in the world.

“Dad is probably the most workaholic person you’ll ever meet. He’ll make time for you, yes. But, you can tell that 75% of his mind is just…” Nerissa sighs, “exhausted, if not thinking about work… He really tries though, he hasn’t missed any of my ballet recitals yet nor any PTAs. He’s as active as a busy parent can be.”

“That’s good, I guess…” A hum of agreement, another yawn.

“And not to mention, the free dresses.” She giggles, “How ‘bout our other dad?” Nerissa turns to lie on her back, thinking about her dad who she hasn’t updated in awhile, even though she promised to do so everyday. A sudden urge to hug her dad courses through her body, and subtle pout forms at her lips at the thought of Roy. She missed her dad, she’s still upset about the whole not-telling-her-she-was-a-twin-thing, but she missed him nonetheless.

“He’s pretty chill. I can do anything I want,”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, my dad’s pretty cool. We have the kind of relationship where I can tell him things and… he can tell me things. He’s my best friend, so we just have fun most of the time.” Portia says with mere awe. “But, it wasn’t always like that. There was a time though where he was pretty down in the dumps; he didn’t really have the best mental health back then and his coping mechanism–”

“Hey, this seems kinda personal. You don’t have to tell me this, okay? Only if you’re comfortable doing so.” Nerissa says, her arm crossing its way to pat Portia’s tummy to stop her thought.

“No, no… You’re my sister, and I trust you enough.”

“Okay, if you’re sure… So you were saying?

“Yeah, so, he didn’t have the best coping mechanism. Alcohol is tricky when it gets out of hand. I didn’t mind at first, because I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t notice the signs because I was so young. It was only one incident, really, when I understood the gravity of it all. Around June, he nearly drank himself to death. I don’t know why he drank severely that night, but I just found him passed out on his own–” Portia chokes as tears start up with the memory of seeing her dad then. “I was only four then, Riz. I didn’t know what death was, but the minute I saw him– It just rationalized so quickly in my head. I called 911 as fast as I could. I didn’t know what I was saying half the time ‘cuz I was just crying.”

Nerissa places a comforting hand on Portia’s arm as the girl tries to fight the sniffles. When Portia manages to barely win against the tears, she continues, “When we were in the hospital, I was with my Grandma and there was another man, I– I don’t know who, from what I can remember– we didn’t know if my dad was gonna make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Porsche.”

“No, no… It’s fine. Just sucks to remember it. But, he managed to pull through, obviously. He hasn’t drank alcohol in years. So, I’m really proud of him, especially in his line of work, it must be so hard.”

“Yeah, as his 50%-chance daughter and for what it’s worth, I’m proud of him, too. “

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

When Courtney heard the rumors going around backstage that night, she had about ten shots of tequila before coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t tell Roy. But, funny how alcohol works out.

“Yanxxxxx” Courtney drawls out on her phone that she’s struggling to hold up to her ear. But the effort was there. She has absolutely no idea where she is as she presses her warm cheek to the cold faux leather seat of a couch.

“Bitch, did you really just– What?” Roy rolls his eyes as he looks at his phone that hosts Courtney’s current call and the said-blonde on his couch, drooling and staring off into space.

“I gotta–” hiccup “tell you a ssssecret.” Courtney angles her phone to her mouth, so she’s directly speaking to the phone’s microphone. Roy walks over to the drunk girl, grabs her phone and throws it in her purse. He ends the call on his phone before slipping to the kitchen, grabbing a towel and soaking it with cold water. He gives it a good squeeze to remove the excess water before going back to Courtney and placing the towel on her forehead.

“You’re so lucky Riz isn’t here or I would’ve left your drunk ass in the club.” He mutters in annoyance, even though everyone knew he wouldn’t really do that. He could never let anything happen to any of his loved ones, and god knows Riz has seen Courtney or Shane pissed drunk since she was a toddler.

“No,” Courtney says abruptly, hand swatting away Roy’s hand. “Nooooo…” She continues to drawl. “The secret is Ado…” She leans in close, way too close. Roy gets a harsh flashback and hastily pushes Courtney away. With the push, Courtney plops on her back and passes out entirely. Roy sighs, both in frustration and exhaustion. He wouldn’t bother removing Courtney’s makeup, but he did give her the courtesy of removing her wig and cap, as well as unlacing her corset. It all feels familiar to him, taking care of someone and helping them de-drag, except of course, back then he had to strip Bianca off himself and help Danny remove his clothes which then would lead to…

Roy shakes his mind, trying to get rid of the idea before it escalated. He leaves the guest bedroom and makes his way to the kitchen for a glass of wine. He’s just going to pretend he doesn’t know that Courtney was about to say something about Adore as he starts up a design for Rupaul on the granite kitchen counter.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“I can’t believe Biadore was ACTUALLY a thing.”

“How can you not? The tension was so obvious, especially during that one part where Adore said she didn’t want to work with Bianca? The sexual tension was just–” Nerissa fans herself before she receives a slight smack and push on her shoulder.

“Dude, you’re so fucking weird. I don’t wanna think about my dad’s sex life OR YOURS!!”

“I’m just telling the truth! The stare was intense.” Nerissa breaks into a fit of giggles at Portia’s face of slight disgust at the idea. “And speaking of, did your dad date anyone again?” Nerissa asks.

“Never anyone serious enough to introduce to me, no. He’d go on dates, sometimes Adore would go on dates. But, yeah. He never really seemed interested in dating anymore, so he put all his attention to me or his and Adore’s music.”

“Do you call Adore “mom”?”

“No, that’s weird!” Portia snorts, “My dad is, well, my dad. He has his own quirks and personality. And, Adore, to me, is just a whole different person. I can’t explain it. Like, I know he’s Adore Delano through and through. But, my mind just sees Adore like a whole different person.” Portia rolls again to her back, so she’s facing the ceiling like her sister. “How about your dad? Did he date anyone?”

“You know what’s weird? I don’t think he ever did, not even dating or flirting with anyone else. He’s always been so closed off to anyone who showed any particular interest.” Nerissa twiddles with her thumb, before scrunching her nose in distaste. “I mean, in some way, I get it. He’s scared to love again. Uncle Shane always said so. I wish I knew why though.”

Portia hums, thoughtfully. Another pregnant pause looms over their conversation. It has gone on for so long that for a moment Nerissa thought Portia was asleep, until…

“I AM SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!”

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight |

Pc Games With Character Creation Offline

Games With Character Customization Pc

Steam Games With Character Creation

One of the things I love most in a RPG (Role-Playing Game) is the possibility of creating my own character with tons of different options and add-ons. I made a research yesterday and found some interesting PC Games I already knew about, adding them to the titles I have or plan to get with the best Character Customization. I’m going to list them here for you guys also attaching a few videos so that you can see directly how they work and what kind of possibilities they offer.

It’s the main reason I enjoy games like Skyrim and Fallout. But there seem to be so few good (single player) games with decent character creation - and not just picking from a few presets. The character creation in Dragon Age: inquisition was amazing (although I struggled to enjoy the game) as well as Saints Row (which I really enjoyed). Addicting Offline Co-op Games For PC You’ll Want To Play. Dennis Patrick / Features / Best Co-op PC Games, Co-op, Cooperative. Sonic the Hedgehog is a staple video game character. Best MMORPG with Character Creation. Final Fantasy 14 has one of the most complex and sophisticated character editors. In this game, you can change the smallest details using different sliders, pick a unique voice, or add unique tattoos, accessories and facial paint. What Are Best RPGs With Character Creation? Role-playing games let us live out some of our greatest fantasies like slaying dragons, saving the world and owning a house. Whether your main character is dead, alive, or somewhere in between, these games will let you adjust your appearance and abilities to however you see fit. I've always loved games that give you the option to create your character before you start in the world. I enjoy the game even more when it has role playing or social aspects added to it, allowing you interact with NPCs, or other players if the game has a multiplayer feature. Just character creation would interest me enough to check any game out.

Follow me under the cut if you’re curious!

I’ve been introduced to this type of creation with a game I still keep in my heart and consider one of the best of all times; The Sims 2. Seriously, I’ve created so many 3D characters that if I could win an award I’d have 200 on my shelf by now.

With that said, here you are my personal list of PC games with their awesome customization in no particular order:

I tried this game myself (the free beta that is) a few times in the past and I swear the CC included in it is currently one of my favorite. Without the complete pack I probably didn’t have a lot of additional options available in terms of clothes, makeup and hair, but what truly mesmerized me at the time was the shaping tool, not yet common in games when they released EVE. You can grab and drag different parts of the head and body, modeling unique characters every time.

2. Black Desert Online

This game has been released recently with two different packages and it seems to be quite a popular MMORPG (Massive(ly) Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) in Russia and Korea. I’m not surprised considering the quality this game seems to have and its customization is clearly no less. Just like EVE Online, Black Desert offers a good sculpt instrument to shape faces and bodies as much as you like, plus a beautiful variety of colors and combinations.

UPDATE: The game is also available on Steam!

This patch lets you play Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks with mostly non-touch based controls. The new control bindings are Control Bindings: D-Pad=Run Y+Dpad=Walk B=Wide slash B+Dpad=Long slash Y+B=Spin Attack A=Interact A+Dpad=Roll. Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks D-Pad Patch This patch implements non-touchscreen controls for essential actions in Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks. Legend of zelda spirit tracks xenophobia patched rom.

3. Blade&Soul

This is another Asian MMORPG with the classical ‘Anime’ style, you cannot freely reshape the character’s structure, only pick one of the available presets and play around with the sliders to modify the whole body. Andy mckinney molly hatchet. Still, I honestly like the bright colors, the races/classes and the fact that you can actually recreate other existing characters using additional content (just like this guy did with Cloud from Final Fantasy VII).

4. BLESS Online

Yes, another Asian online title. Hey, it’s not my fault if they look so pretty! Bless is quite recent and not yet released in its final stage, but judging by how the CC works you have as much freedom as in EVE or Black Desert and the same unmistakable Fantasy touch.

5. The Sims 4

Didn’t I mention The Sims 2? Well, looks like the latest title in the series has improved quite a lot in this area. The shaping/sculpting method is here as well, considering that we finally have more possibilities I certainly won’t complain!

Note: In this video I can see the woman has a few mods installed. If you decide to get this game (or even the previous chapters) I definitely suggest you to do the same if you don’t like the default character design.

6. Fallout 4

Another recent (and quite famous) game. Apparently you can only work on the face here, but once again we see the sculpt tool in action. Even if the hair options are a bit limited you can still customize your character and create unique features playing around with your cursor.

7. Dragon Age: Inquisition

Who knows me is well aware of the fact that I am completely OBSESSED with this game, thus I couldn’t really leave it out. The hair options are definitely questionable and just like in Fallout 4 you do not have any body morph nor slider to alter, but as you can see from this video example you are still able to personalize your Inquisitor in a good way, also using real people or other characters as reference. To be honest I like some of the default presets too, if you don’t like spending two hours working on a face (I do that all the time, but I am a basket case so please ignore my madness :P), you can pick those and get a good result nonetheless.

And don’t forget about mods! 😉

8. Skyrim (The Elder Scrolls V)

This one has been around for a very long time and it remains probably the top 1 Fantasy game out there. If you’re not into mods at all and want to keep your game vanilla be sure that the overall quality is not as improved as the current generation, you can see that from the low-res hair and general textures. The reason why I’m including this CC in the list anyway is because even if old, Skyrim looks quite good compared to other games where you only get 3/4 slider options.

9. APB Reloaded

The last game I’d like to mention (and I literally just discovered it) is this not so new title which has a kick-ass Character Creator. Not only it shows some quality graphics there, but the level of customization is unbelievable! You can make hair shorter, beards longer, create beautiful tattoos (and place or rotate them wherever you want!), add patterns to clothes and even get your personal car! 😀

Chose one serial + PILIH Salah satu WORKING 99% per 13 Januari 2013 1330-1971-4830-1762 1330-1912-2628-0850-0232-4869 1330-1148-0472-2735-6555-0617 1330-1544-4195-8131-3034-5634 1330-1886-0283-4688-9152-2034 1330-1118-3174-6558-8260-5378 OR 1330-1971-4830-5668-6067-1762 1330-1912-2628-0850-0 232-4869 1330-1148-0472-2735-6555-0617 1330-1544-4195-8131. The serial number for Adobe is available. This release was created for you, eager to use Adobe Cs6 master collection full and without limitations. Our intentions are not to harm Adobe software company but to give the possibility to those who can not pay for any piece of software out there. Adobe cs6 master collection activation key wondershare.

There are of course many other games with a Character Creator, but they all seem pretty similar or not good enough to be mentioned in my list.

What do you think about these? Let me know with a comment if you like!

Those late-night multiplayer sessions can be really fun sometimes. Surely, everything is better with friends, they say and you’ll agree with that at some point. However, after a long day of work and studying, I like to relax with offline games. Sometimes, it’s satisfying to let yourself indulge in a great single-player story and forget about any problems bothering you. So, if you are like me, then welcome to the club! Below is my list of 20 best offline games for PC and I hope you’ll enjoy them.

1. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

W2k16 pc download. Well, you’ve guessed it! The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt takes first place on the list with its epic setting, characters, gameplay, and those breathtaking visuals! It’s a compelling game that will offer you more than a hundred hours of non-filler gameplay, and there’s always something to explore. The game looks amazing, and the combat system is great. This open-world title is everything you need on your free days! Combine that with the great RPG elements and fun dialogues with NPCs, and you got yourself a pretty good offline game! Go and play it now, it’s a must-play.

2. Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus

Wolfenstein series has been once again revived with Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus. The positive reviews flashed all around the globe, and this game quickly became one of the best shooting games of 2017. B.J Blazkowicz is such a badass protagonist and the characters surrounding the game are interesting. You’ll quickly start to care about each and every one of them, making this game a worthy offline title. Bethesda said that they won’t be focusing on multiplayer, so they can bring an immersive single-player experience. Well, you nailed it, Bethesda; great job!

3. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Bethesda is one of my favorite companies when it comes to gaming, at least they were a few years back. A few years back, this masterpiece called The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim was released and it took the Earth by storm! This offline open-world title offers hundreds of hours of exploration and you’ll probably never get bored of it! The combat system might be dated, but it’s damn fun to play and explore every corner of the game. After six years since its release, I’m still eager to give Skyrim another go. It’s that great!

4. Fallout 4

Games With Character Customization Pc

Fallout 4 is one of those top offline games that you either like or dislike. It’s a great single-player experience, as you explore a huge world of fictional city Commonwealth. I mean, the story here is scattered here and there, and our protagonist is in search of his abducted son. However, the game often steers away from that and let you have some freedom and exploration. It’s a fantastic reboot of the series, and it’s surely the best game in the franchise. If you are up for that Stalker-ish feeling, then give this a try!

5. Hitman (2016)

Hitman isn’t a strictly offline game, but I included it because it has a great single-player campaign. While the previous entry in the series Hitman: Absolution relied more on linear, claustrophobic, and confined experience, Hitman (2016) went in a different direction. Here, you’ll experience a vast, open-world with lots of stuff to do. The levels are not that numerous, but they are as big as hell! You can complete your missions in various ways and earn certain rewards and points for doing so. Hitman is a challenging stealth experience, but once Agent 47crawls under your skin, there’s no going back!

Steam Games With Character Creation

6. Nioh

Nioh is a less-known offline game released this year, and I feel like this game is very underrated. It’s a child of Dark Souls and Bloodborne series, which can tell you much about this game. It has a single, crushing, and unforgiving difficulty that will leave you begging for mercy. It’s hard, and you’ll need some blazing fast reflexes and huge gaming skills to finish it. There are more than twenty bosses in the game, and every single boss will kick your ass! Don’t expect to finish this game in a few days; you’ll need weeks to finish it and it will be painfully slow as the bosses shame you every little time… you helpless gamer!

7. Nier: Automata

Another underrated game – Nier: Automata. How could the gaming community overlook this game? Are you blind, or what? This game offers thirty hours of a pure, refined, and amazing experience! It’s a hack-and-slash title that mergers several genres with it. The open world in this game is huge, and the post-apocalyptic environment looks depressing and feels like a void. Nier also introduces RPG elements so you can now level yourself up, upgrade weapons, buy stuff, etc. On top of that, there are some 2D sections that feel like a great platformer, and that’ very unique! Nier: Automata is better than most AAA titles and costs double the less of that price, which is one more reason to get it.

8. Dark Souls 3

Dark Souls series got a fantastic reboot with Dark Souls 3. Just if it wasn’t enough for the previous games in the series, and now we got this punishing game. What can I say? Prepare to die a LOT in this game, as it’s created to kill you. I’m not joking, the whole game is against you, and you can’t do anything about that except fight like a lunatic. Even when you die, the enemies around you respawn and you must fight again and again, which is really frustrating. However, if you have the balls to play it, and manage to finish it, then you deserve a medal, Sir!

9. Bioshock Infinite

Bioshock Infinite is the newest installment in the Bioshock series. This cheap game can give you a huge value for your buck, especially when the Holidays come. I mean, for just a couple of bucks, you can get a fantastic FPS game, which campaign isn’t short and definitely isn’t boring! Bioshock Infinite continues its tradition with great shooting mechanics, various powerups, and that fast-paced shooting in a beautiful environment of the game. Get ready to cause mayhem!

10. Alien: Isolation

Alien: Isolation is that PC offline game that will haunt your dreams every time you try to sleep. It’s a horror game in which you try to stay in one piece and escape that damn space station called Sevastopol. Sounds similar? Well, that’s because the game is based on Alien (1979) movie, which was a very disturbing experience at the time. It’s an intense game that makes your palms sweat and your heart beating so fast that you’ll think it’s gonna come out of your chest! Try this horror if you dare, and watch yourself getting swallowed by the Alien, in a single bite!

11. Far Cry Primal

Elephants are cool, but mammoths are so badass! In Far Cry Primal, you can hunt mammoths and even ride them when you get to higher levels! How cool are you from zero to riding a mammoth? This beautiful-looking game is set 10,000 years BC and no, you aren’t going to shoot guns, but bash the hell out of your enemies. The arsenal of weapons might not be that huge, but the combat is great and requires more thinking, as the enemies are sometimes overwhelming and can easily kill you. If you have the luck to tame a sabertooth tiger, you may survive in this harsh world!

12. Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

There is something special about that claustrophobic feeling, especially when it comes to horror games that you can play without internet. That sense of dread and despair when you don’t have much space to move is priceless. Don’t think of me as a psycho, but I LOVE the horror genre! RE7: Biohazard is a game that caught my attention as soon as it was released. This bad boy will provide you with a horrific experience that will leave you scared to death! As the game plays from the first-person perspective, it’s much easier to get yourself immersed, but also scared.

13. Outlast 2

Outlast 2 is yet another offline horror experience, where the developers decided to leave your powerless. There aren’t weapons for you to use, and surely no means to defend yourself. So, what are you left with? Well, a camera and a journal should do the trick! The game does a damn fine job of melding the horror and the dread with stealth and great storytelling. In the end, you may feel a little let down by the ending, but I know you’ll enjoy it until the very end.

14. Dead Space 3

Cat et 2015a factory password generator. While the past games in the series focused more on that horror experience, Dead Space 3 is more of an action-horror game. Sure, there are Necromorphs and they are vicious and all, but the action part is more prominent. Needless to say that Dead Space 3 is an amazing game and I’m very sad that Visceral Games is closed by EA in October. This survival horror game is hugely underrated, but it’s awesome and I recommend you to play it. It’s just a couple of bucks for this experience, don’t be a niggard!

15. Portal 2

There’s something awesome when it comes to Source Engine. The games made with this engine looks amazing, yet they run smoothly. How did Valve manage to do that? Well, as I am not a game developer, don’t ask me! But ask me about Portal 2, which is Valve’s magnum opus, and a compelling puzzle game. The whole point of the game is to use a Portal gun in order to create portals and pass through them. However, the game isn’t that simple and requires some brain skill to finish it. Grab your Portal Gun, and let’s go on a venture!

16. Limbo

This 2D game is straight-up terrifying, dark, and misanthropic from the start to finish! In Limbo, you are a little boy that needs to survive this colorless world of the game as he overcomes various obstacles and escape scary monsters. I like the game’s artwork and the atmosphere is simply top-notch here if you like the dark ambient in the games. It’s a must-play for every offline Indie games lover!

17. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat

Speaking of the atmosphere, very few great offline games can replicate the atmosphere as it is in S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat. That post-apocalyptic atmosphere of Pripyat looks great, and the game isn’t colorful, which is the whole point. Everything has that grey-ish tint, as this town suffered greatly when the Nuclear Powerplant in that area exploded. It’s based on a real-life event that occurred around 1989, which gives the game a certain weight and meaning.

18. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

With MGSV: The Phantom Pain, Hideo Kojima proved that he still has what it takes to create such immersive PC games without internet. This stealth game is challenging and full of stuff to do, due to its open-world nature. The characters are badass and the game feels somewhat dark, with a very serious tone. Oh, and not to forget that plot twist at the end that’s worth those thirty hours I’ve spent on this game!

19. SOMA

Horror fans will be pleased that I mentioned another horror title here. SOMA is an absolutely spooky and nerve-wracking experience! It creates that atmosphere that’s very unique, and with the story being told in the shape of various documents scattered through the game, it’s even more badass! You are all alone here and you’ll fight for your life, only to find out that you aren’t actually alive! A truly wonderful offline game for Windows.

20. Superhot

Superhot is a cartoonish-looking offline game that revolves around time. To make it simple, the time in the game moves when you move, so if you are standing still, nothing will happen. Vice Versa, if you are moving and shooting, then the enemies will do the same. It’s a lot of fun, but a lot of challenges too. I played it with some of my favorite death metal albums, just to ensure that I’m hardcore enough to beat it!

As we are approaching near the end of our journey through the offline PC games, I’m here to ask you a question. What is your favorite offline game for PC? I tried my best to count some of my favorite offline games, and although I’m maybe going to start a war for not including some of the games, I stand behind my words. Oh, and why don’t you tell me what game did I miss? Do you have any favorites besides these 20 games? Please, let me know, and don’t forget to do some gaming today!

an odyssey | afterword

rating: T

pairing: Hwang Hyunjin/Han Jisung

summary: Somewhere in the galaxy of the Stella Primum, Lieutenant Han is the best fighter on his team, a real ace shooter, with five gold stars to show. Too bad Second Lieutenant Hwang is not only great at battling the Ordinem, he’s also got disgustingly perfect looks to match, and now Jisung’s stuck in the same spaceship with him for possibly the most impossible task of their lives. Or the one where a rivalry is brewed across the skies and stars, until Jisung realises what there is to flying beside Hyunjin on a mission to save the galaxy.

if you haven’t read it yet, read here.

this is an afterword to ‘an odyssey’, where i write about the origin of the story, the characters, and my struggles of writing :’)

(i) The Origin

I’ve had this work in my WIPs since, believe it or not, January of this year. I’ve had this idea for so, so long. I wrote it intermittently throughout this year, with a scene or two in September, then October. 

Due to my exams, though, I couldn’t write as much as I wanted to. That’s why I only really started writing ‘an odyssey’ back in mid-November. The good thing was that I had more time to plan this out, because frankly, this is perhaps the heaviest fic I’ve written in terms of plot so far. 

I can’t for the life of me remember where this story idea planted itself in my head. All I knew was that I like space AUs, I adore Hyunjin and Jisung’s friendship, and I love enemies to lovers. Realising there weren’t any fics out there that combined the three, I knew it was my time to shine. Or something. 

(ii) The Plot

The plot was the trickiest to pull off. I’ve written an urban fantasy here and there, but I’m pretty sure if I reread them thoroughly, I’m bound to find a couple of plot holes. 

There were a lot of elements to cover: the Prophecy. The five gems. The push-pull relationship between Jisung and Hyunjin. The journey to discovering the whereabouts of the last Gemma. The last boss fight with a Governor who could wield the Force. There was!!!! So!!!! Much!!!! Going!!!! On!!!!!

Perhaps if I reread ‘an odyssey’, I might find another plot hole or two; who knows? For now, though, I feel quite contented with this work of mine. Considering it’s my first time writing something as long as this (50K+ are you kidding me?), I feel this is a first step for me to continue expanding my horizons when it comes to writing, to continue to challenge myself to write something different, something bold. Something new.

(iii) The Characters

I rewatched the Two Kids Room and One Kid Room episodes so many times, over and over again. There’s a reason why this story is centred around Jisung and Hyunjin, and why it’s written from Jisung’s perspective.

Their relationship is, after all, something coherently interesting. They really said “enemies to friends but make it irl”. I guess I took that concept and sort of exaggerated the extent of their ‘hate’ for each other, which isn’t exactly hate to begin with. The further you read on, the more you’ll realise that they don’t exactly hate each other — they just got off on the wrong footing, and have never tried turning back to start over once more.

It’s written from Jisung’s perspective because personally, I wanted the story to be told from the eyes of someone who was prideful, who was eager and determined, and who wanted to show his worth to everyone else. I feel like perhaps I didn’t expand on characterising Jisung to the fullest advantage possible, though, which remains a slight regret of mine. 

Another reason why I wanted this to be written from Jisung’s POV is because we can find out how Jisung feels about Hyunjin throughout the story. When he realises whose son Hyunjin is, he’s torn between wanting to pity Hyunjin and keeping things between them the same as they always have. (If I were in his position, though, I don’t know what I would have done lol.) It was hard to try and interpret his emotions, but there’s that.

Someone commented once asking if we’d ever get Hyunjin’s POV. Sadly, one of my biggest turn-offs is the switching of POVs in stories when it’s not entirely necessary haha. As much as I would want to know what Hyunjin is thinking when they’re arguing, or when they’re fighting, I like to keep on the suspension line. It gives you the feeling of immersing yourself as the Jisung in the story, of only seeing things from one perspective. 

As for the other characters, there wasn’t enough time to expand on all of them (for example, I mentioned Seungmin several times throughout the story, but really, he speaks only once haha). And as your fellow StayDay, it was definitely fun for me to include a few members of Day6. (please don’t ask me why I thought of ‘PJ and Honey’ while writing. I was probably hungry.)

I don’t know if I’ll continue to expand on the characters in this same universe, but it would be fun to think of the other relationships, for example Chan and Felix, or Changbin with Minho and Seungmin. (someone please save the seungbinho tag!!!!!!)

As far as characterisation goes, I’ve still got so much to learn. For now, though, I hope you enjoyed the dynamics between the characters and how Jisung and Hyunjin learnt to grow within a span of six chapters.

(iv) The Writing Process

Granted, the writing bit was a little easier in the beginning, but as I delved myself deeper into the story, I found it harder and harder to express the emotions I wanted to deliver in the story. One of the hardest chapters for me to write by far was the last chapter. I wrote two versions of the last chapter, simply because I felt the first version was too lacklustre for the ending of such a long story haha.

I had a clear outline of my story, but I did end up extending it from the initial 5 chapters to 6. For the first time, though, I didn’t add any random elements to the story, unlike how i wrote this story last year haha. The lesson I’ve learnt is that I should ALWAYS have a brief outline of the plot — detailed enough to cover the entire story, but brief enough to give me some creative freedom mid-writing.

The excitement of writing honestly wore off near the last few chapters. I’ve realised the importance of reading unfinished works in this way. Writers really need some form of motivation to keep them writing their chaptered works. So if you’re one of the real ones who started reading this even before it was completed, kudos to you. I really appreciate it.

Overall, writing this was fun. Hopefully I don’t need to do this again though; I absolutely hate writing chaptered fics because of all the time and effort put into them. I’d much rather be a ‘One-Shot Hotshot’ lol.

(v) The End (?)

I left a bit of wondering for the readers in the last chapter. If Atkins was able to wield the Force despite the false pretence that there was no longer any Force-wielders left in the universe, how many more of them could there be? 

That leaves an opening for me if I ever wish to return to this alternate universe sometime in the future. The Universe is ever-expanding, and so is our imagination.

(vi) The Inspiration

Obviously, I need to thank Star Wars. I also need to apologise because I absolutely butchered their universe. Fun fact: there was one huge plot hole I had to cover up halfway through writing. 

If you’re observant, you might remember the scene where Hyunjin asks Jisung why they didn’t just jump into hyperspace to reach Ilsanis. That’s because I was watching an episode of The Mandalorian where the Mando was forced to fly a ship without a hyperdrive engine, and I almost freaked out right there in the middle of the living room realising how weird that would be if I left the issue unattended in my own work (yikes). 

Long story short, I drew elements from the Star Wars universe and created a story of my own. I’ve been asked how I came up with the idea of the Prophecy. Frankly, I don’t know. My brain farts sometimes, I guess. Brain Farts = weird ideas that somehow make sense sometimes.

(vii) Lastly

If you have any more questions you’d like to ask (or plot holes to tell me about *shudders*), do leave me a question in my CC, or holler at me on Twitter (I’m hardly alive here on Tumblr haha). To anyone and everyone who has read ‘an odyssey’, I thank you.

This year has been a funky year, and even worse, it’s the year I had to take my IGCSEs. Writing has always been a way for me to create my own universe and release my tension and emotions, so not being able to write as much as I used to was a little tough. 

Writing will continue to be a medium for me to express my emotions and my thoughts while creating stories of my own, so simply by giving my fics a read, you’ve already fuelled my reason to continue to write. Thank you for all the support in ‘an odyssey’! 

(why did i write this entire monologue like i’m giving a speech at the Oscars or something lol im so dramatic :”))

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2020

So. Last year I read 112 books. The year before that I read 89. The year before that I read 39. This year I have (thus far) read 87 books out of my goal of 75 and will likely at least one or two more before the end of the year. So, click below if you want rambly book recs!

1. a book you loved?

This year has been rough. Like, I’m looking back at the books I read in January and am genuinely horrified to realize that I read them a scant twelve months ago when it feels like I read them at least three years ago. I’m glad I kept my limit lower this year, because enjoying anything this year has been harder than usual. I did read some decent books though, and I think the one I loved the most was Gideon the Ninth (and it’s sequel, Harrow the Ninth). They’re both fantastic books, and so deeply unexpected. Reading the first chapter or so of Gideon’s book is like getting whiplash. You go into it expecting angsty lady necromancers and get a crossdressing bee that secretes hallucinogenic substances and pulsates in time to the music in your head. Literally, Gideon’s dialogue is so out of left field that I spent half the book delightedly confused. But it is genuinely funny? And lesbian necromancers in space is just.. such an underutilized concept. Harrow’s book was a little harder - her head space is weird and everything is intentionally fucking with you so you really are confused for 90% of it, but I think the pay off was more than worth it.

2. a book you hated?

I was deeply, DEEPLY disappointed by The Secret Commonwealth. I finished it near the end of January and was just so fucking mad for days. Because the thing is, my expectations were not super high. I was excited for it, mostly because a grown up version of Lyra is something that I thought I would only ever experience in fanfiction. Now, I wish I’d only experienced her in fanfiction. Graphic attempted rape, retroactively confirming a rape happened in a previous book (one where it was implied that the victim got away in time), retroactively raping a character from the previous trilogy... like. I’m sorry. But fuck that noise. Fuck Philip Pullman. Fuck any douchebag asshole who thinks a woman has to be raped in order to write compelling fiction. I was riding the high of the new HBO series (which was good) and I guess I just... thought the author would have some goddamn integrity.

3. a book that made you cry?

We Are Okay was a really gorgeous, tender little book about grief that I read in one sitting in my bed when I really should have been sleeping. I read this book in March, when things only kind of hurt for me. When things were still largely okay. Before the bulk of covid hit my side of the world. Before self-isolation was an every day thing, not just something in books. Before Mal. Before getting covid. But ultimately, this was a book about healing. It aches, yes, but it also soothes.

4. a book that made you happy?

Both Beach Read and Written in the Stars made me pretty happy. Both romcoms done right, the first is a book about a romance writer falling in love with a thriller/mystery writer. They’re staying at neighboring beach houses and spend a summer getting themselves out of their comfort zones by challenging the other to write in the other person’s chosen genre. It’s sweet. It’s sexy. Over all, a really fun read, with enough depths to keep me engaged.

The second book is a meet-cute that involves astrology, fake dating, and lesbians. It’s written phenomenally well, and gave me a brief surge of happiness when I needed it most.

5. the best sequel?

Probably Harrow. The Dragon Republic is a great second choice though. Again, it’s a hard book, and I wouldn’t have been able to read it any later in the year than I did, because it is... not a happy book. But it is, in my opinion, a good one. And I am still excited about the third.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

I am hoping to get the as of yet Untitled sequel to Ninth House in 2021. I am also hoping to actually be able to read The Rhythms of War in the new year, since I doubt I’ll get a chance in 2020. I’m looking forward to Mister Impossible, the second book in the Ronan trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater. I’m looking forward to the Hourglass Throne, which I think is coming in 2021? A Desolation Called Peace in March. The Thorn of Emberlain might actually be out in October, which will be wonderful it doesn’t get pushed back again. Rule of Wolves, the King of Scars Duology in the Grishaverse will also be March. One Last Stop by Casey McQuistion in May!!!!

7. favorite new author?

Defintely Tamsyn Muir. I will also be keeping an eye out for Alexandriua Bellefleur’s stuff...

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

Uh, can I say MDSZ/The Untamed without actually having read the original text? Well, I’ve read a few chapters, but damn.

9. the most surprising book?

Taproot. It’s this little graphic novel about a gardener who can see ghosts. And like. It still makes me warm to think about how tender it is.

10. the most interesting villain?

Does Loki: Where Mischief Lies count? Since Loki is technically a villain, even if he’s only villain adjacent in this book.

11. the best makeouts?

I... don’t know? I didn’t real read any of these books for makeouts. Not this year. 

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Boyfriend Material. It has great ratings! It has fake dating! But the story was very so-so for me. 

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I think I yelled at Nick a few times about how pissed I was at the Secret Commonwealth.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

The House in the Cerulean Sea is a book about a case worker at the department in charge of magical youth and he is charged with traveling to an island and making a very important decision about the children living there. It was adorable and I wish I’d had a book like it when I was young.

15. a book you learned from?

That is not the sort of book that I was reading in 2020.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

I read a couple mysteries. Some were good. Most made me remember why I don’t read mysteries.

17. a book with something magical in it?

Call Down the Hawk, because all of Maggie’s books are at least a little bit magical. And while this definitely didn’t hit quite the same vibes that the Raven Cycle did, it was still very, very good.

18. the best clothes?

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth have the best goth aesthetic I have ever seen in a book. Also, The Invisible Life of Addie Larue, because Addie’s clothes always sounded cute and comfortable.

19. the most well-rounded characters?

The City We Became had some fantastic characters. It was really interesting to see Jemisin get out of her typical fantasy setting and this novel was so out of this world. 

20. the best world-building?

Deeplight! It’s described as Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea meets Frankenstein and that is pretty accurate. Old gods that traversed the sea tore each other apart and now the world tries to get a hold of their corpses for amazing powers. It was really, really cool and probably the best book I could have chosen to read at the beach.

21. the worst world-building?

Eh. Most of the books I hated I didn’t keep reading this year.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

I really like all of the characters in the Tarot Sequence. There are some solid characters, even if there’s basically no women. Also Graceling.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

I was not a fan of The Mysterious Benedict Society, mostly because of the narrator. It was so boring and I quit halfway through.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

Return of the Thief. Which... was still mostly good. But the ending felt lackluster for me. I may go back and reread the series and see if it feels more genuine after I’ve read them all together.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

I literally picked up Written in the Stars because the cover was pretty and it looked like the romance was between two girls. And it did nooooot fail me.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

Shrug emoji.

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Shrug emoji.

29. your favorite cover art?

Gideon and Harrow, honestly. I also really liked Under the Udala Trees.

30. a book you read in translation?

I genuinely don’t know.

31. a book from another century?

Teeeeechnically The Great Hunt?

32. a book you reread?

I reread the Diviners and the Captive Prince series near the beginning of the year. They were still delightful.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

Into the Drowning Deep was fucking amazing. I love Mira Grant’s work anyway and there’s this scene where a character pilots a submersible into the Marianas Trench and experiences your first face-to-face encounters with the sirens and like. AHHHHHHHHHH. It was so spooky and beautiful and just genuinely amazing.

TLDR; 2020 sucked, most books still couldn’t pierce through the depression, but there were a few bangers.

Time Never Stops

Chapter Fourteen: Little He or Little She

Word Count: 1638

Prologue   Ch 1   Ch 2   Ch 3   Ch 4   Ch 5 Ch 6   Ch 7   Ch 8   Ch 9   Ch 10   Ch 11   Ch 12   Ch 13

Warning: FLUFF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I move to look at myself in the mirror and smile at my reflection. The material of the light blue dress hugs my body perfectly, showing off the little bump. A pink ribbon is placed just above it tied in a bow. I turn to the side and smile at the bump, placing my hand on top of it as I admire the life growing inside.

"Love, are you ready for the party?" Tom walks in the room, dressed in a pair of khakis and a blush pink button up. "You look amazing, baby girl."

"You look pretty good yourself, handsome." I smile as he comes up and wrap his arms around me, pulling me toward him to place a chaste kiss to my lips.

"Our Mums shooed me upstairs to get you. Told me I had to get my pretty girl and bring her downstairs."

"Can't start the party without the guest of honor." I giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck and place one of his hands on my stomach before I pull him back into a kiss.

"No, we can't," he chuckles against my lips, pulling away to kiss my forehead. "Ready to head downstairs?"

"How does it look, before we head down?"

"They did a wonderful job. Izzy, Haley, and Mia took charge once they got here, Haz decided it was for the best." Tom chuckles, tugging me toward the door to the party below. I smile at the pink and blue streamers that were hung from the ceiling as we make our way into the living room. Tom leads me into the kitchen, where I am quickly hugged by Haley who tightens her grip on me and sways us from side to side.

"I miss you, why did you leave?" She whines playfully. I pull away from her, only for her to squeal and look at me with bright eyes, "Look at that bump! Do you have a prediction of what it is?"

"I do not, what's the popular vote?" I tease as my mom and Tom's mum come in from outside.

"Darling, you look amazing!" Nikki muses, walking over and pulling me into a hug, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek.

"Thank you, Nikki." I whisper, reaching for my mother next who hugs me tightly.

"Look at my little girl, you look beautiful." My mother coos, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

"You two should head outside and greet guests, we have to make sure the food is done." Nikki laughs, shooing us from the kitchen and out the back door. I smile at the fairy lights decorating along the top of the space, picnic tables dot the yard, and a photo area is attached to the right side of the fence with an abundance of baby related props. Both family and friends mingle about the yard.

"Looks like they did a good job." I smile as I lean into Tom's side, his nose grazing my temple.

"They really did, it's simple and that was all that we wanted." Tom smiles, pressing a kiss to my temple, pulling away as people walk over to greet us. I smile and pull family and friends into hugs and ask the usual 'how are you?' 'what have you been up to?' 'how was your flight?' After a few minutes I find Izzy and Logan, pulling them both into a hug.

"God, I have missed you two. How is everything? How was tour?" I ask as I pull away.

"Tour was amazing! Everyone is beyond excited for the next book, which should be out in about three months since I had already started months ago." Izzy laughs, running a hand over her arm.

"Well, this is the reason why I said to release two then do tour!" I laugh back, smiling at her proudly.

"We are, that's the plan for the next tour." Logan says, snaking an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

A pair of arms wrap around my waist making me laugh. "Did you think you could get away from me without saying hello?"

"No, Mia, you just looked busy talking with Haz I didn't want to interrupt you." I tease with a wink. Tom and I had been trying to set the two of them up, but since she was still in (Y/S) and he was here in London we didn't push the subject too hard.

"Well, he was talking to me about being in need of a roommate since Tom moved out and offered me to move in when I come out for when I study abroad in January."

"Really?" I giggle, glancing over to see Haz and Tom talking, Tom high-fiving him while Haz blushes. "Well, he is definitely a fun roommate to have, polite, loves to cook-"

"Trying to still set me up?" She teases with a raised eyebrow, "Because he has already asked me on a date."

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said that Harrison and Mia would fit so well together," Izzy laughs.

"What can I say, we all saw it coming." I laugh, seeing that Sean, who was talking to Harry, had arrived as well as Dan and Phil. "I have to go finish greeting people, but thank you guys for today."

"It's going to be a great day." Izzy states, the three giving me a wave as I walk off to go give Sean a hug.

"There she is!" Sean says with a laugh, being careful when he pulls me into a hug. "How are you?"

"Better than I was about two months ago, little love made me sicker than a dog." I laugh half-heartedly. "I am so glad you could make it."

"Me too," he hums letting me go to take a look at me. "Look at this house!"

"I know! We really haven't done much setting up since we have plenty of time til they are here."

"That's fair. What are you going to do about videos?" Sean asks, folding his arms across his chest.

"Actually, I hired an editor that Robin recommended a week ago-"

"So you did call Alexis!" He says excitedly.

"Yup, I'm really starting to get pregnancy brain so editing doesn't go well. Can't really focus for too long, plus the further I get the worse it will be I guess, so I'd rather have someone else do it so I can focus on other things."

"That's fair, well everyone is excited to know whether what our gaming buddy is, who is going to join us the next time your in town."

"If I remember correctly the next time I'll be in town will be the charity live-stream in December. Tom is tagging along, I hope that is okay." I raise an eyebrow making him laugh.

"No," he teases back, "it's not okay. Yeah, he's good to come, the more the merrier."

"Perfect, well I have to go and mingle around more, enjoy the party!"

"You too!"

I walk away, shifting between people and getting pulled into more conversations before I can make it inside to grab something to eat, the kitchen was quiet minus the humming of the crockpots on the counter. I walk over and open each dish in turn, smelling the savory chicken, cheesy mac and cheese, taco salad, and sweet dirt pudding. A cake sat on one side of the counter, signed with the caption 'Little He or Little She?' on top. I smile and scoop a bit of mac and cheese on my plate and eat, humming at the taste in the quiet kitchen. I go to take my final bite when the door slides open, revealing Tom, who sees me taking a way too large of a bite.

He lets out a snort, "You know we are supposed to eat after the gender reveal?"

"Excuse you, who is the pregnant one here? I think I can do what I want." I sass, tossing my now empty plate in the trash.

Tom smiles, pulling me to him, "Everyone wants us to do the gender reveal, so you want to come outside with me and get started?"

"Yeah, let's go, I wanna know what are little love is going to be." I smile, taking his outstretched hand and let him lead me outside to where everyone was waiting.

"Are you two ready for the gender reveal?" Harrison asks with a laugh, Izzy walking over to his side.

"We are, what are we doing to find out what our baby is?" Tom asks, moving to wrap an arm around my waist.

"Chalk bomb," Izzy states, handing Tom a black plastic ball.

Tom smiles at me and pulls me to the side where we will have enough space for the chalk to fly. He throws his arms over his head, "ARE WE READY!" The crowd cheers loudly, making us laugh. Tom's arm wraps around my waist, smiling at me, "Ready, love?"

"Let's find out what we are having, Holland." I state, Tom's hand holding the ball raises again before he chucks it at the ground at our feet. The two of us gasp in delight as the ball breaks and pink clouds the air around us.

Tom turns and pulls me into his arms, spinning us around in a circle before setting me to my feet. "We're having a little girl, love."

"We are indeed, Tom." I tease, my arms pulling him down into a kiss.

"Please tell me someone got that on camera?" Tom calls looking at the crowd, seeing several people lift their phones, v-log cameras, and normal cameras into the air. "Okay, good," he laughs, shaking his head before looking back at me.

"First grandchild is a girl!" Nikki yells with excitement, hugging Dom as everyone walks over to congratulate us. It could not be a more perfect day, especially having so many of the most important people of our lives being there to witness with us our future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Reblog and comment!

@revenantwriting | @bellagrayson-wayne | @jackiehollanderr | @snowxbarryxendgame​ | @let-me-luve-you​ | @mybitchborky​ | @linnyalou

Chapter Fifteen

My Fannish Year 2018

I have been doing these ‘My Fannish Year’ reviews since 2012 with the exception of 2016 and 2017 when I dropped the ball for some reason – but I am back on it now! These are fun and also great to look back later; just little stops to look back to my fandom year, reflections, as is suitable for this time of the year… (My previous navel-gazings are from, 2015 , 2014 , 2013  and 2012 .

The rest behind the cut for length:

1. Your main fandom of the year: Number of my fandoms has grown, it seems; I still have my old A Song of Ice and Fire and WWE, especially Dean Ambrose, but now my other notable fandoms are also Black Sails and Outlander.

2. Your favourite film this year: ‘The Shape of Water’ – it impressed me immensely.

3. Your favourite book this year: I have read woefully little, I am ashamed to admit…of the little I read, I found ‘The Treasure Island’ by Robert Louis Stevenson interesting due to its old-fashioned feel.

4. Your favourite album or song this year: ‘Love Me Again’ by John Newman totally blew my socks off.

5. Your favourite TV show this year: ‘The Terror’ and ‘Anne with an E’ (I can say two if I want, it works that way, doesn’t it?)

6. Your favourite LJ community this year: [Unfortunately this question is pretty much outdated by now… replaced by the next question.]

7. Your favourite Tumblr tags this year: “Dean Ambrose”, “Outlander”, “Black Sails” and still the good old “sansan”.

8. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: ‘The Terror’- although right now I’m also sniffing around ‘Anne with an E’.  

9. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: Dean Ambrose’s elbow injury that kept him in the sidelines for 9 months… and that ASOIAF’s 6th novel ‘The Winds of Winter’ has still not been released. *sigh*

10. Your TV/movie boyfriend of the year: Dean Ambrose, who else???

11. Your TV/movie girlfriend of the year: Anne Shirley-Cuthbert (from Anne with an E)!

12. Your biggest squee moment of the year: Going to Monday Night Raw live event in Los Angeles, happily coinciding with my business trip there…

13. Your most missed old fandom: Not fandom but platform, LiveJournal – although I know there is no way back and it will never be the same again. I also miss earlier more optimistic days of Game of Thrones fandom, when the TV-series had just started.

14. Your fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to? Can’t say there is one – if I ‘want to’, I’ll just jump right in!

15.Your biggest anticipation of the New Year: I’m sure I have said this every year – but it still is the release of ‘The Winds of Winter’ by George RR Martin. And to hopefully see Dean Ambrose turning face again – his heel arc is not my favourite…

16. Your Writing or Art (if applicable):

16.1 Total Words/Artworks: Approx. 163,000 words.

Most of my writing has been for one fic only, which has really taken all my energy and effort but has been (and still is) an absolute hoot to write!

(December 2017 -) January: ‘In the Quiet of the Night, Candour’ – an Outlander fic about a quiet moment between Jamie Fraser and Lord John in the Fraser’s Ridge (9,256 words) 

February – December: ‘This Time, We'll Do Better’ (154,335 words) – and still going…

The rest of these questions all have the same answer with minor variations, as I only had limited writing to choose from… but I list them just the same, in case if you want to use this same template and can respond better.

16.2. Your favourite own work of this year: ‘This Time, We'll Do Better’

16.3. Most fun work chapter to create: Chapter 3 ‘Lady Sansa’ of TTWDB was a riot – that’s where Sansa first finds herself in Joffrey’s court but thinks it is all a big hoax and reacts accordingly, lashing her tongue at Sandor, Joffrey and Cersei!

16.4. Your sexiest work chapter: Very little sexy times so far in my fics…so as a fleeting moment, maybe in Chapter 36 ‘The Pact’ the moment when Gendry submits to Arya to preserve the order in the pack, and Arya bites him...

16.5. Your work chapter with the single sexiest moment/element: As above. Geez, I better start writing more risque stuff and soon!

16.6. Your work chapter that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: Again, oddly enough, it is Gendry in Chapter 28 ‘Wolf Dreams’. I started to see him as his own man, not only an extension or ‘accessory’ to Arya. I realised he had his own dreams, own aspirations and would be capable of driving his own life. Power to Gendry!

16.7. Your hardest work chapter to create: Chapter 29 ‘Lion Defeated’ was hard, as in it tried to describe Jaime’s despair in finding himself paralysed; his seven stages of grief, anger at Brienne and all that – I am still not sure how successful it was, but I tried my best.

17. Best story(ies)  you read this year: My fanfic reading this year has been quite varied, between ASOIAF, Black Sails, Outlander and The Terror. Some of the best stories I have found in Black Sails fandom – it has lots of amazing writers with a wonderful command of language, moods and subtlety. To mention a few, ‘Any Port in a Storm’ series about Captain Flint/John Silver by Farasha and ‘The Unquiet Grave’ about Thomas Hamilton & John Silver by Belewitts. From ASOIAF, ‘Who Tells Our Stories’ about Arya Stark/Jaime Lannister yes, really!) by lifeofsnark and ‘and love is not a victory march’ about Ned Stark/Catelyn Tully by SomeEnchantedEve. Just to mention a few!

18. The sexiest story(ies) you read this year: ‘and into what it will be changed’ about Captain Flint/Miranda Hamilton/Thomas Hamilton by sea_changed (foxlives). Sexy and tender threesome.

19. The story with the single sexiest moment you read this year: ‘I felt like I could be made new again’ about Brienne of Tarth/Jaime Lannister by janie_tangerine – sizzling!

20. The story you read this year that shifted your own perceptions of the characters: ‘Who Tells Our Stories’ by lifeofsnark made me realise what an unusual but fascinating pairing Arya and Jaime could be, post canon, when they both are changed; Arya grown harder, Jaime more principled – and both very disillusioned. How fascinating! 

21. The best fandom artwork you have seen this year: Mimmunet’s artwork ‘Captain Flint from Black Sails’ – it is absolutely gorgeous!

22. Biggest Disappointment: I Continuing decimation of ASOIAF and sansan due to GoT show influence…!

23. Biggest Surprise: That I found my groove again for writing – I thought my writer’s block had become real and that I wouldn’t find the same inspiration for it as I had done before – but then with TTWDB it all came back to me. A pleasant surprise, for sure!

24. Your fanfic or profic goals for the New Year: To continue and finish TTWDB. Interestingly, when browsing through my earlier ‘My Fannish Year’ entries, I found this entry in this section from 2015: “I also have harboured plans and worked on an outline of a bigger ASOIAF story involving also other characters than sansan. This is the first time I aim to really plan all of it carefully – which may mean that it actually never gets written… *sigh*”. It took a few years, but I guess I did it!  :- )

25. I'd like to thank the academy... (Thanks to your betas, frequent commenters/supporters, the people who stayed up with you late...) I have had wonderful interactions with my old and new friends over the year, most in Tumblr, thank you all! Any list is bound to be incomplete but just to mention a few, I would like to especially thank (again…) @asimplylucia  @thefeatherofhope , @bluecichlid , @zip00198704 , @thedropletsparkled@hardlyfatal , and a special shout-out to my wonderful and patient beta, @hardlyfatal!

I would like to tag all of you to do this, no matter if you write or do art or neither, if you want to look back into your fandom year. Please do and share!

Hi here have a rant because I’m emotional in this Chili’s tonight:

It’s been a long, rough ride these past 16 months for me. Yes, I mean the entirety of 2017 and the beginning of 2018. My life’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and events that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I’ve gotten through it and now I’m hopeful for the future largely in part to one Miss Taylor Swift.

Firstly there’s the fact that I’m a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school, and as anyone who is/has ever been a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school will tell you: that is never easy on its own. I’m switching to a different school for next year because the school I’m at now just wasn’t working out. I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people, but the stress of always being too smart or not smart enough, or too good or not good enough has taken its toll. As anyone who’s ever met me could tell you; I don’t do molds, labels, or boxes, and when you live in a small farm town in the middle of the USA, you’re expected to fit into a mold, label, and box. Overall I guess I’m just glad that this chapter in my life is ending, even though I’ll definitely miss seeing some of my friends’ faces every day. Here’s to my new school being better, as they claim to be.

Next, things get a bit more emotional... so brace yourselves. I don’t like to talk about this with people face to face, in fact I refuse to talk about it, so what’s my solution? Put it on the internet for a bunch of strangers to read. Because logic. And because eventually I’ll tie everything in to involve Taylor Swift, like most everything I say, because I have a HUGE thank you to put into words.

Approximately 9 years ago my mother was diagnosed with a terminal cancer called Carcinoid Cancer. I don’t know exactly how long they predicted she would live, but I just knew that there was no curing it, only treating it and keeping it under control for as long as possible. (After all I was 7 or 8, so I really didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time, just that my mom had cancer). I never had a great relationship with my mother, and some of the fault was definitely mine, because I was a snotty little pre-teen for 5 of those 9 years who was going through the “oh my god mom, stop embarrassing me” phase. Every day I really wish I would’ve stopped and realized how wonderful my mother was before now, but I can’t go back and undo things, and frankly I’m still trying to get to the point where I can be okay with that, but It’ll just take some time. 

I’ll admit I don’t really want to share many details about how things progressed over those 9 years, I apologize for that, but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable to talk about. Just know that things progressively got worse, as they do with terminal diseases. 

My mother was admitted to the hospital on August 24, 2017 after the second time last year that her liver basically shut down because of the cancer. (The first was in January, but she had seemed alright after that) My dad had been out of town on a business trip, so I ended up spending the  majority of the night at the hospital with my mom and some close family friends (I don’t have any siblings and our closest biological family lives halfway across the country). He flew in right away and got to the hospital at 3 in the morning on August 25. 

My mom spent the next full day in the hospital, then the next night and was released the morning after that. To put it frankly, she had been alert enough in the hospital to tell us that she wanted to be at home for her end. The weekend of August 26th and 27th, my dad and I stayed home with my mom and had multiple of hers and our friends stop by. I went to bed that Sunday night expecting to go to school like normal the next day, and well, let’s just say when I expect things to be normal, weird shit happens.

My dad woke me up at 6:45 am on Monday August 28 to tell me that my mom had passed away. See, I’ve never been good at handling my emotions, so I didn’t cry right away, but I just kind of hugged him while he cried. There were PLENTY of tears from me in the following months- and I am so grateful for my dad for being there for me during the really bad days I had.

For any of you swities with really good memories, you’ll recall that at midnight on the night of August 24 Look What You Made Me Do was released. While it might seem like the absolute opposite of a comforting song in my situation, I really, truly think that it helped me get through that weekend more than anything else. At that time it was just so amazing to hear something new from Taylor, the person who I have looked up to for so long, and to have it be something so different. Plus, it’s the perfect angry song, and I’ll have you know that I was pretty angry at the universe during and after that weekend. I still am, but to a lesser degree. 

As the next single was released (...Ready For It?), and then the entirety of reputation, I discovered this new album and this new Taylor who had risen up from the dead proud, fierce, and happier than she’s ever been. This new Taylor who was a survivor, a real human person, and a goddess all at the same time. 

One of the few things that I allowed my mother and I to have a common interest in was Taylor Swift. (Yes, I actually didn’t allow myself to like things that I love because my mother liked them. I was a horrible little pre-teen to others as well as myself). I was pretty late to the swiftie party, as I really started listening to and enjoying Taylor’s music when I first listened to Red in 2012, but when 1989 came out I was full-on obsessed. My mom really liked the album too and was glad that Taylor was my biggest role model over some of the other celebrities that she didn’t really care for. My mom and dad surprised me with tickets to the 1989 tour stop in Denver, and I cannot tell you how excited and happy I was. My mom didn’t end up going with me, because she’s never been a huge fan of arena concerts, but she was always down to watch the 1989 World Tour Live video with me when we had Apple Music for a year or so. 

I guess my point is that reputation is really important to me because of its timing and overall message. Taylor is doing better than she ever was- she survived the fires and floods of the past few years and has grown stronger because of what she’s been through. If she can survive and thrive after all of that, I can too. And, when it comes to timing, there was possibly no better time for me that this album could’ve been announced and released. I honestly could not tell you where I would be today without @taylorswift and reputation. 

You empowered me to keep going Tay, and I am eternally grateful to you for that. You were one of the only connections between my mother and I as well, and in a way you still are. I can’t think of any of your songs without thinking of how excited or exasperated my mom’s reaction was when I played it for the millionth time. Or about how she would sing along ridiculously to Shake It Off and How You Get The Girl and All You Had To Do Was Stay, and I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed, but it was some of the best times I had with her.

On a more light-hearted note, it has been so wonderful to see how much you’ve grown as the reputation era progresses Miss Taylor. The reason I’m writing all this up randomly on a Sunday night at almost midnight is because of how happy and grown-up you looked at the Billboard Awards tonight. I don’t know why you winning those two awards triggered all these emotions in me, but it did, so here I am writing this now. Thanks to you, I think I’m starting to heal, and I know I’ve grown, even if it’s not exactly in the ways you have. I’ve never been in love, and I’ve never had a long list of ex-lovers, but somehow I know what it feels like to be ferociously angry, happy, excited, sad and loved, and I know I have you to thank for helping me put it all into words over the years.

So, from the bottom of my heart, body, and soul,

Thank You, Taylor Swift.

@taylorswift @taylornation

Hello! I'm a little new to playing GMS - I've been following it before but was disappointed to hear that it was getting canceled, but apparently not anymore. I just heard that Sebastian is getting a route which made me download the game. For someone who's just starting, do you have any tips? I typically don't spend money in these games so I was wondering if it will still be playable in that case... Thank you!

Hello and welcome!

Okay so I’ve actually been considering putting this information out there so I guess this is a perfect opportunity!

😳That or you were reading my mind.😳 

First things first:I get you not spending money on the game, it took over a month before I gave in to it myself.  But I must remind all players that the reason (that we know of) that the game was discontinued in the first place was due to it not making enough money.  So I really must promote the idea of those who can afford it and really love the game to spend a little to show their support. 

That said? You don’t have to spend money to enjoy the game. At least not the main story lines.  What it does take is patience and a schedule to get the most out of the game. 

So you’re most likely going to have a little stumble near the end of the route as a new player.  It’s going to require you to have a lot of Sweetie Points to pass the checkpoint, and it might take a day or so to get it.  But then you’re good.

Sure you’re not going to get the premium scenes, but honestly the non-premium are good too!  They can be hilarious watching the guys play off each other, or cheesy, or cute, but still a delight in their own ways.  

Now for the beginners and people just plain new to “Guard Me Sherlock!”

[undercut link for mobile users]

So you’ve found your way here; either by being a fan of Sherlock Holmes, being a fan of other games done by @shallwedateapps, or by being a  fan of dating games in general, but you’re here.  

You may be sharing the same thought I did when I first read the game’s title: “that’s a silly name”, and yeah maybe, but the game is more than that.

The Story!

Okay so we have MC and she is:

clever

kind

strangely accepting

naive at the most inopportune times

an actress

and a bit snarky sometimes

So the prologue is her meeting the guys, the male characters in the story:

Sherlock Holmes

John Watson

George Lestrade

Mikah Hudson (child)

Mycroft Holmes

Hercule Poirot

Jeremy Cassel

James Moriarty 

Sebastian Moran (his route is up next!)

and Jack Stillman

Though not in that order per say.  From there MC works her way to the point of asking Sherlock for help, and the problem is determined by the story you’re starting. 

During which there are quizzes throughout the season one stories and getting them correct can result in winning small prizes like extra energy points for Hide & Kiss.

The Characters/Main storylines!

So once you finish the prologue you have to decide which route you’re going to play.  Just talking about the season ones we have:

Sherlock Holmes

It’s a sweet story of Sherlock coming to terms with these strange new emotions he’s feeling all the while assisting MC in dealing with threats and sudden attempts at harming her person.  All which seems to circle over the fact that she took her current role over after a passing of a dear friend.

John Watson

Sweet and funny story as MC has John’s help in trying to figure out what happened to her uncle.  He seems to have gone missing but has left a small trial for his niece to follow. Course being worried for her safety John seems like the best candidate as a bodyguard, though to not arose suspicion they need a reason for him to be with her everywhere… fake engagement anyone? 

James Moriarty

While there is not a lot of diversity in scenes, there are some breath taking background drops.  MC wanted Sherlock’s help in finding out if everything is on the up and up for the next play she is in.  He told her to go through with it unless she heard otherwise from him.  Day comes and she is goes to get ready for the play, which will take place in a few days, on a train. With Moriarty as the benefactor.  It’s a whirlwind of flirtation and ‘what ifs’. 

Mycroft Holmes

Not really one for fake engagements?  How about a fake marriage?  Mycroft is subtle throughout his story, and there are times MC can be… *flashbacks and kill bill sirens* but this is thought to be one of the most romantic stories within Guard Me Sherlock though the mystery doesn’t come into play until the later act.

Mikah Hudson

~let’s do the time warp again~ Jumping into the future, MC has been living at 221B and seems to have missed the point where Mikah became a man.  While helping Mikah’s friend they open up their feelings towards each other. 

My schedule to get the most out of my game:

I wake up and use 2 tickets before 7 am

Clear my energy points, and then go to work

At lunch I clear the hide & kiss points out (you get 1 point per 3 minutes, 20 points per hour)

This is also usually when I use my one free slot spin a day

When I get home I decompress and either wait till after the game updates (7pm cst) or before it is there is a biscuit boost, and I spend all the tickets I have (which is either 3 - 4)

This way I keep my tickets at specific intervals throughout the day to make sure I get 6 tickets a day as there is 4 hour wait in between each and it stops counting once you hit 5. 

So I asked @cinnamonteaandbiscuits what she would give as advice to a new player:

“You can exit out of the story if you think you’ve picked the wrong choice.” (you just hit on the arrow in the upper right corner, and select home, that will let you do that chapter from the beginning as long as you don’t go all the way to the end)

“Don’t skip the previews. They’re hilarious!” (So true. Also areas where you can learn more about the other guys in between or during times they’re picking on each other.)

Be aware of your room situation when it comes to points. 

Hide & Kiss

When it comes to hide and kiss there are a few things to be aware of. 

When you start a session and pick a guy your style in your room should reflect their taste.

Sherlock & Mycroft: elegant

John & Mikah: Sexy

James: Cute

The more points you have in that style the more sweetie points you can earn.  Up to a point.  If you’re hitting 58 - 70 points per magnifying glass in the last room you’ve hit max.

In biscuit collections each tap in Hide & Kiss is one point.  So if you’re trying to earn those biscuits you’re better off using the room that takes the least amount of energy points.

Alright so I hope that was helpful!

If you’re looking for a brief history as to what’s going on with the game  I did a brief little catch up with releasing routes back on January 5th before we found who out it would be. 

And if you’re interested in my headcanons and/or fanfictions please feel free to check out my Masterlist

1-15 on the slbp ask?

1: How long have you been playing Slbp?

I had to look through my letters to see but it seems like I started playing in January.2: What made you decide to download it?

Well, that was when I was starting to lose interest in MM and wanted to branch out and play other otome games. I’d seen some stuff about SLBP on tumblr and thought that it looked interesting, so I downloaded it. 3: Who’s route did you play first?

I was sort of overwhelmed with how many guys there were to choose from (12) and so I turned to tumblr and found that Saizo was the most popular character to I decided to do his route first. But I wasn’t too impressed with him and was more attracted to Shingen lmao. (I have a thing for long haired otome boys it seems) Actually I deleted the app because I didn’t like the game layout and eventually re-downloaded it again and got hooked the second time around. 4: Favorite route?

Hmmm this is a tough one but I’d probably would have to say Ieyasu. Yeah, he’s an ass and you either hate him or love him without any in between but I think he got the most character development in his route. It was fun to see him develop and go through the emotions of not liking him and thinking he’s a dick to eventually liking him and thinking he’s the most intriguing character of the game so far. His and Mitsunari’s routes are where you get to see them grow the most out of all the lords I feel. Guaranteed I haven’t done Nobu’s, Mitsuhide’s, Masa’s, Saizo’s, or Toshiie’s routes yet so my opinion could change but I definitely feel like Ieyasu and Mitsunari are the most complex out of the 12 lords.  5: Least favorite route?

Mmm so far it’s a tie between Shingen and Yukimura. Like I love them both but their routes were just sort of stale to me I guess? Or mostly it was their MCs that bugged me the most and the romance was a bit weirdly conveyed. Idk I felt like the romance went too quickly or it kinda came out of nowhere in their routes. In the end I did like their routes but they’re not my favorites. 6: Favorite lord?

Oh man. I’d have to say it’s currently a tie between Kojuro and Shigezane lmao. I love my Oshu boys. 7: Least favorite lord?

Y’all are going to hate me but it’s Saizo. Idk the whole broody love interest that pushes the MC away for her own “safety” gets old to me. It’s totally unrelated but he reminds me so much of Kakashi from Naruto? I mean the whole silver-haired red eyed (or in Kakashi’s case one red eye) ninja who has a knack for smutty books and is extremely self loathing? I’m not saying they’re similar but they’re similar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯8: Favorite female character?

It’s a three-way tie between Oichi, Kita, and the MC’s Mom. They’re such sassy badasses who take no shit. Like I will forever love the moment when Mother meets Mitsunari lmao it’s one of my favorite moments in his route. She has no time for Mitsunari’s attitude lolol. 9: Favorite retainer?

Don’t do this to meeeee. I can’t choose. I have so many retainers that I adore and absolutely want stories for. But I’m just suggesting to Voltage that SLBP would be even more popular if they released routes for the retainers. I mean they have a whole chapter for the ninja babes so why not some of our most favorite retainers as well? 10: Favorite side character? 

Tadakatsu hands down. Lmao I love him being all weird and masochistic towards Ieyasu. Especially his little perverted blush. I mean he’s basically one of those fans who comment ‘oh yes spank me daddy’ on their faves social media post. It’s weird and slightly disturbing but he’s hilarious.   11: Best villain?

Ieyasu. I’m sorry but no other villain will be like Ieyasu in other routes. Especially in Yukimura and Shingen’s routes. He was an ass x1000. 12: Worst Villain?

There are too many to count. But probably Yasumasa in Ieyasu’s route. I hated him from the get go and I don’t think he should’ve been redeemed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13: Do you play the event stories?

Mostly yes. Sometimes the constant story points checkpoints annoy me so I don’t do all of the lords events. 14: If so, who’s event story do you read the most often?

Kojuro’s. Like I said before, he’s one of my top favorites. But I’m hoping that the last 6 lords (and Shigezane cough cough @ Voltage) will have more event stories in the future. Because they need more love like the first 6 lords get so many events and I need more of the last 6. And Shigezane lmao. 15: Do you buy any of the epilogues?

Only for my favorites. Or if they look interesting to me. But usually I just buy the ones for my bias. 

End of the Year Fic Meme

This got a little long, so behind a cut. Last year’s is here.

The Fic Retrospective

Total Word Count: 569,683. Wat. (369,454 of that alone was from 2016.)

Total Number of Fandoms: One, as ever. I remain a fandom serial monogamist. Bucky Barnes remains extremely important to me.

Total Fics: 44, although some are unfinished.

By Month

January: 0 fics

I'm just gonna go by month they were completed or last updated, or else we'll be here for the rest of our lives.

February: 3 fics

C8H10N4O2 (The Building Block of Love)

I'd like to look around, but Honey, all I see is you

Warp and Weft

March: 0 fics

April: 3 fics

May No Distance Come Between

Figure Study in Red, White and Blue

All the Lines of Thee

May: 3 fics

Orpheus, or, Going Under the Waters

Oxytocin

Captain America is Not Hydra For Fuck's Sake

June: 2 fics

After the Storm

With my body, I thee --

July: 1 fic

Pre-Mission Not-so-Blues

August: 1 fic

Take Apart Your Bones and Put 'em Back Together

September: 1 fic

(Re)Visit

October: 2 fics

3-ply, S-Laid

Remembrance

November: 1 fic

The Body As Art: A Series

December: 6 fics

Whither Thou Goest

Scenes from Three Lives

The Holly and the Ivy

Yet Needed Most, I Bring

Close Your Eyes and Dream

And At Last I Am Free

Q&A (Mix and match as you desire!)

Looking back, did I write more fic than I thought I would this year, less, or about what I’d predicted?

WAY more. I knew it would be more than last year – rather wonderfully I did not have a couple months of crushing depression stealing my ability to write this past summer – but I didn't expect that much. (Being underemployed helped a lot – if I get a full-time job this year, as I expect to, I will not be churning out 300k words.)

What pairing/genre/fandom did I write that I would never have predicted in January?

Enemies-to-friends-to-lovers. It's not one of my favorites, but I did like writing it.

What’s my own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes me happiest?

I wrote the bulk of it in 2015, but I finished C8H10N4O2 this year, so I'm counting it. I love them both so much, and I'm super-excited to start posting the big sequel sometime this year.

What is my most popular story?

C8H10N4O2 (The Building Block of Love) going by hits and kudos. Take Apart Your Bones came second on both metrics.

Did I take any writing risks this year? What did I learn from them?

Hum. Take Apart Your Bones/At Last I Am Free are some of the plottiest, longest things I've ever written, so that was a bit of risk. I learned I can write plot, and weave together something that actually builds tension and then deals with it. Oh, and apparently I can write a bit of horror, when required.

Do I have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

I'm retired from profic forever, so that's out. No real goals – this is my fun space. Keep writing, I guess. I'm getting that fucking Winter Soldier tattoo once I get back from holiday, that's about my biggest fen goal ;)

From my past year of writing, what was the…

Best Story:

I reckon Take Apart Your Bones and Put 'em Back Together

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:

None of them. (Re)Visit comes closest, I guess?

Most Fun:

THE HOLLY AND THE IVY. Oh my Lorrrrrd.

(The latest chapter of Yet Needed Most, I Bring was very fun to write too, because YUM.)

Hardest to Write:

That chapter of Yet Needed Most, I Bring with the vet wrap was like giving birth. Writing humor is hard.

Captain America is Not Hydra, For Fuck's Sake wasn't hard, exactly, but it's not something I go back and re-read regularly. Particularly considering the current political climate.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Orpheus, Or, Going Under the Waters. I have a lot to unpack when I start writing CACW-compliant fic. (which at this rate will be around the time Infinity Wars is released.

Favorite OC:

Lisle. She's my favorite forever.

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

Nothing, really. Maybe some of the horror in And At Last I Am Free.

Biggest Disappointment:

I wish I could have started the sequel to C8H10N4O2. I have the first two chapters done, and various other parts written, but I want to get And At Last I Am Free mostly done before I start posting, so I'm not wrangling two behemoths at once.

Biggest Surprise:

That I didn't write more CACW stuff. There's too much else I want to deal with first, I guess.

Most Sexy:

Yet Needed Most, I Bring, still reigning champion

Story that made me cry:

I don't think any of them did, this year.

Story with the sweetest moment:

Literally all of them? I think when Steve adopts one of Bucky's scars in All The Lines of Thee. That whole conversation, maybe.

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Yet Needed Most, I Bring continues to be the torchbearer. Honorable mention goes to 3-ply, S-laid.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

With emphasis on the unintentionally, I did not realise I'd written Bucky with my eating issues until I finished The Holly and the Ivy.

Story I haven’t yet written, but intend to:

OH JESUS ALL OF THEM.

I got a wing!fic that has like six lines down. I wanna write a magical creature AU (another one, I guess.) Like sixty other things I haven't thought of right now.

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

If I may misquote Aleister Crowley: Love is the law; love is the whole of the law.

(I swear I didn't make that up on my own, but not sure where I got it from. Prolly the Wiccans?)

This was the year of Take Apart Your Bones. I'm really proud of that one, and it is a story almost wholly about people loving and protecting each other.

  I have a goal.

Wanna know what it is?

Before December 31, 2020, I want to write Primary Target (the sequel to my popular murder mystery Double Blind) and The Keepers (the 4th book in popular The Gamma Sequence series).

I need to have The Keepers out by mid-December. Primary Target doesn’t have a release date, but… it needs to be this year.

Why?

Because.

Last year I essentially wrote 3 full length novels. I mean, I wrote 2 and wrote a bunch of short stories, and published a horror anthology… and edited a how-to series…

as well as editing a friend’s book, editing and publishing 45 or so Young Authors Club books – I do all that myself, there’s no staff.

THIS year I’ve…

I’ve written…

I… uh…

Hmm.

Well, in 2020 I will publish 4 short story horror anthologies AND 4 short “how to write” books. I mean, that’s something. The coronavirus kinda knocked out a lot of the Young Authors Club books, but not all of them. And of course, I’ve been overseeing the “distance learning” of my 4th grade daughter since mid-March.

Florida schools went out on Spring Break on March 16 and never returned to school. After Spring Break got extended a week while the powers that be tried to figure out what to do, we started distance learning from home – a ten-year-old in front of a computer doing her classwork. So I stepped up and created Mr. Dan’s School For Wayward Children, and from 8am-3pm every day we did math, science, social studies, language arts, PE, nature, art, gardening – the whole deal.

We had a snack at 9:30 and lunch at noon, recess at 11:00, and a lot of Zoom calls with teachers.

We painted, played games on her iPad, swam, jumped on the trampoline, played with the bunnies she got for her birthday

…(which was celebrated mostly via text and Facetime). Oh, and prior to that, there was an Easter egg hunt where she was the only kid looking for eggs – a fun idea at first that quickly got a bit sad because without sharing all that with family, it was almost like just another day.

So from about April 1 until Mr. Dan’s school closes on May 29, my daughter and I enjoyed working hard at school.

I’m glad I was there to help her figure out how to subtract and multiply fractions, as well as learn all about Sally Ride for the virtual wax museum presentation we have coming up on Wednesday. She did well. By my estimations, it will be mostly A’s and maybe 1-2 B’s. Considering this distance learning stuff could have really tanked her school year, I’m pretty satisfied with that.

But I did a lot of that each day and not a lot of writing.

I’m not complaining. I hope I showed my daughter how to respond to a challenge. And I don’t forget that others who came before me had to live through the Great Depression or storm the beaches at Normandy. I had to sit home with my kid and explain fractions. Yeah, a lot of income went away that wasn’t replaced, but ten years from now that’s not what I’ll remember.

One of the teachers asked the kids what they’ll remember from this school year, and said not to say coronavirus. The kids did as asked. My daughter got bunnies, after all.

But they’ll remember this.

How could they not? If my school got out at spring break and I never went back for the rest of the school year, I’d never forget it. They’ll see their friends soon enough and forget the loneliness. They don’t mind not being in a classroom. But they won’t forget what happened. I don’t think most of them were scared – I know a lot of kids were bored – but my daughter and I had fun.

We worked hard, we learned, and we had fun.

Some will say we’ll all have a better appreciation of teachers. Yes and no. I didn’t want to be a teacher. I didn’t apply for that job because I wanted to do a different job, but I got drafted into doing it – with no pay – for many, many hours a week. In a few days, the school year will be over and I get to go back to not being a teacher again, but now I know that if I had to, I could home school my kid.

So I’ll pretty much say distance learning knocked my writing off schedule.

Those firsts week were madness

as none of the websites worked, or they crashed, or we couldn’t get into them in the first place, but that gradually was replaced by us adapting and things not crashing. We went from doing schoolwork until 5pm every day to being finished early most days. From being exhausted to being satisfied. From being overwhelmed and desperate to being confidant and assured. That’s a big deal.

I went from having no time at all, to now seeing, hey, it’s a 3-day weekend and I could probably get a lot of writing done.  

Which brings me back to my goal:

Can I write 2 books between now and the end of the year?

Which really means: can I write 2 books before mid-September, because once Young Authors Club starts up again, my available writing time goes down drastically. Besides, to release a book in mid-December, it has to be ready a month or two beforehand. Beta readers need a look, as do critique partners and others in the process.

Oh, and there will be a dawn of a new series.

The Gamma Sequence and Double Blind will keep going, but there’ll be a 3rd cop or detective series, a murder mystery with a new hero. But maybe that will start next year.

Right now: attempting to write 2 books in… well, from about June 1, until more or less the middle of September. Let’s see, that’s… there are 30 days in June, 31 in July, 31 in August, and about 15 (30 days tops) in September. So, that’s over a hundred days. *Grabs calculator * actually 122 days.

So… 122 days? To write two full-length novels – that each have to be the best book in their respective series.

Is that enough time???

Uh… Yep.

By the way, a few chapters of Primary Target have already been written, and I have about 75% of the outline for The Keepers done. So I’m not starting from scratch.

I wrote most of my best books in 6 weeks once I had a solid idea for the story. (I needed a lot of rest afterward, but I did it.)

The Gamma Sequence was started the morning of February 26, 2019, and I finished writing the book on April 3; that’s 36 days. Rogue Elements (The Gamma Sequence, book 2) was started on approximately August 18, 2019 and finished about 46 days later. Terminal Sequence, the 3rd book in the series, was started November 22, 2019 and finished January 18, 2020, about 57 days.

My recollection is, The Navigators took about 42 days, as did Double Blind.

So mathematically, it’s possible.

And, well, heck – after spending the last few weeks learning math with my daughter, I guess… rising to a challenge and all that…

Yeah, I’m going for it.

I’ll see you in September.

Except for when I come in here to update you on how the writing is going.

Wish me luck!

  Coming Attractions: Writing 2 Books In 100 Days I have a goal. Wanna know what it is? Before December 31, 2020, I want to write…