Nicklas Backstrom: Hi, my name is Nicky, I’m on a professional men’s hockey team, and this is a list of some things my team does to entertain themselves.
Axel Jonsson-Fjallby: Flex in mirrors.
Justin Schultz: Sleep on asphalt.
Brett Leason: Elaborately plan and execute clash of clan raids.
Marcus Johansson: Remind each other that we’re breathing so we have to be aware of it and do it manually.
Conor Sheary: Slide around hallways on socks.
Michal Kempny: Paint our nails.
Dmitry Orlov: Slowly scroll across all of Lebanon on Google Earth.
John Carlson: Blink.
Nicklas Backstrom: Not blink.
TJ Oshie: Go into absurd detail about the miracle on ice hockey game I think seven or eight times now.
Connor McMichael: Make incredibly elaborate and time-consuming snapchats.
Lars Eller: Discuss the military history of the 16th century Ottoman Turks.
Nicklas Backstrom: Sing.
Martin Fehervary: Draw an amongus on every available surface and in every available medium.
Vitek Vanecek: Make each other friendship bracelets.
Ilya Samsonov: The Back Stretch (TM).
Anthony Mantha: Get anaphylaxis and decide that it’s really a state of mind.
Tom Wilson: Build new dnd characters knowing full well that our campaign is almost over and we’re never gonna get to use them.
Nick Jensen: Finish watching Shrek 1 and just immediately start watching Shrek 2.
Nic Dowd: Provide a detailed explanation on why Fiona’s father is extremely problematic in Shrek 2.
Garnet Hathaway: Put snow in a tortilla to make a snow taco, also known as a snaco.
Carl Hagelin: Gas each other up.
Johan Larsson: Take photos really really close to people’s noses on the 0.5 lens.
Matt Irwin: Eat 6-7+ bananas in a single sitting.
Trevor van Riemsdyk: Educate ourselves about social justice issues.
Joe Snively: Play with play-doh.
Evgeny Kuznetsov: Try to convince each other to eat worms.
Alex Ovechkin: Almost eat worms.
Nicklas Backstrom: And finally, at some point or another, and very much in theory, play hockey.
I was convinced that the rope tonight was gonna go to Dima. It was the perfect recipe: return from lengthy injury, played over 20 minutes, had 2 assists. However, I forgot to account for the fact that the ENTIRE team, especially goalies, are SUUUUUUPER horny for TvR. (But like, who can blame them?) Not since Michal Kempny can I remember someone the whole entire team was horny for. I remember Sammy’s love affair with TvR last year and how he gave him the shield at least 3 times. These hoes LOVE TvR, so tbh I should’ve seen this coming. The Washington Capitals exist on a sliding scale of “everyone on the team is horny for them” (TvR) to “horny for everyone on the team” (TJ)
2022-23 Team Preview - Washington Capitals
Michael previews the Washington Capitals as Alex Ovechkin continues his chase for history and better playoff success. #ALLCAPS #NHLStats
2021-22
Record: 44-26-12 100p (4th in the Metropolitan)
Playoffs: Lost in First Round to FLA
Key Losses
G – Vitek Vanecek (Trade – NJ), G – Ilya Samsonov (TOR), D – Justin Schultz (SEA), G – Pheonix Copley (LA), F – Johan Larsson, D – Michal Kempny (SEA)
Key Additions
G – Darcy Kuemper, G – Charlie Lindgren, D – Erik Gustafsson, F – Henrik Borgstrom, F – Dylan Strome, D – Gabriel Carlsson,…