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jinx-on-mars-19xx · 2 days

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Pressure Got My Head in Knots

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heat), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, mentions of killing, allusions to past abuse, cursing, allusions to trafficking, awkward boys, stilted conversation, bad dreams, night terrors, mentions of Dom's pretty uncut monster cock, misunderstandings, embarrassment, insults, stiff sleeping positions, boys cuddling, emerging feels, passage of time (not long), too much metaphor (I won't apologize), secret masterbation, improper use of a t shirt (they're always cum goblins), hurt/comfort, accidental grinding, biting/marking, blood, nervous boys, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: explicit

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

The roof was almost becoming a comfort for Dom. It was his spot really. He could look out over the terrible city they lived in and ponder how many Alphas were just waiting for his knife. He hadn't killed anyone since before he met the omega but it steadied him to think about it. He'd been coming here since their afternoon together and occasionally sleeping on the balcony. He never meant to fall asleep but the night after they fucked he went to check on Colson and thought he heard him sound pained. He was whimpering and sounded scared and it made Dominic’s blood run cold. After a moment he realized the man was only having a bad dream but the sight of the strong mob boss curling a pillow against his chest like a teddy bear hurt the heart Dom didn't think he had. Since he couldn't comfort him and didn't even know how he'd desired at least to stay close. Watch over him. Most nights he stayed on the balcony but he would escape before the sun rose and sleep fitfully in his own bed.

He was having trouble making himself take that last step off the edge of the building after what Collette had told him earlier at the club. He hadn't expected to feel so torn up inside knowing his… lover? had been hurt so badly but he was filled with shite he didn't know how to deal with. He was scared if he saw the man again he'd accidentally show somehow that he knew. They matched in so many ways besides just being devils in the playground of LA’s underworld. He never expected that. His gaze rolled up to the blank black sky, devoid of stars and didn't that just match his soul. “Fuck.” He huffed, stomping out his cigarette before he took the leap. For once he didn't smile at the rush of air tickling him and when his feet touched down his stomach dropped.

The first thing he noticed wasn't the light still on in the bedroom and it wasn't the pacing omega shadow ghosting over him- it was the glass door that was normally locked tight. For once it was… open?

Colson was exhausted after his long fucking night. He swore the universe was screwing with him. First the shipment of omegas was stolen out from under him and then his mother had pulled him aside when they got home. She lived on another floor and when they were out together they always shared a car. Collette had waited until they were walking inside and she finally spoke up about that fucking psycho. She'd explained gently how terrible Dom looked, that she didn't think the boy was sleeping any better than him. She'd kept her voice loving when she suggested he just give him a chance, what could it hurt having a friend?

He knew her better than that and he knew she knew him. Col didn't make friends easily and whatever was between them wasn't that. Dom knew what he was. Dom had quite literally been inside him, something no one else had ever been allowed. Since they slept together he couldn't sleep right. Old memories came back with a vengeance. She knew all of that, she knew his history, hell she'd lived it too. She'd slipped in one simple thing that had made him think and he hated it. He hated how damn well it worked on him. Travis would have loved him. The thing that pissed him off most was that she was right. Fuck.

“Ello.” The word was simple but it made Colson jump and he reached for a gun he didn't have. He rolled his eyes and turned to face the other man, his heart racing in his chest.

Collette had been right, Dom looked like hell. His eyes were tired and dark, his wild hair almost limp. He looked like a kicked puppy and Kells knew he was behind the boot. Damnit. “Hey.” Well… that was helpful. They were like awkward teenagers at the prom and not two mostly full grown men who knew each other intimately.

Dom tried to look less intimidating by slipping his hands in his hoodie pocket. LA heat was rough but sometimes he needed something to hide in. He didn't step too far into the room, he wasn't sure he was welcome. He'd already done damage with his cock, he wouldn't make it worse. He couldn't stop his gaze from wandering though- Colson was just in jeans and nothing else. The man was gorgeous and he almost couldn't believe he knew exactly what he felt like from the inside. Oh fuck he had to stop thinking like that. Col arched a brow as if he could feel Dom’s thoughts and moved to sit on the foot of the bed. Something made him curse under his breath and reposition himself. “You still ‘urt?”

Kells scoffed and shook his head. He didn't think whatever had twinged in his belly was from the Alpha's monster dick and even if it was he'd never say so. He couldn't give him the satisfaction. “Just pulled a muscle in the gym I think. You good?”

Dom startled at the question. He wasn't sure how to answer that so he just hip checked the dresser and stared at the other man. “No. But you ain't nei’ver. Jus’ been sleeping off.” He tried to lighten the statement with a tease but it fell flat. The omega had to know he'd been sleeping on the balcony if he left it open. He just wasn't used to trying to be a person, Tom never expected it from him. Maybe he shouldn't try to fake it with Colson either. “So you got fucked tonight?”

Col’s eyes went wide and for a moment he thought to clutch his pearls. Where the fuck did this asshole get the audacity?

“The meeting! At ya club. Seemed like it didn't go right. I didn't mean- bloody ‘ell.” The Alpha went so pink and his voice so rushed. His accent thick enough to walk on. Something happened inside the omega, something he really wasn't used to. The embarrassment from the Alpha made him laugh.

Dom smirked as the other man laughed at him. It was such a nice sound he didn't even mind it was at his expense. He was just happy to help however he could. “Fink I would ‘ave noticed summat else. I jus’- Yeah, yeah. Make fun of the guy wiv the silly accent.”

“Dude, fuuuuck that was good. Thanks for that. Yeah uh… I got screwed over tonight. A shipment of omegas was coming in from the East Coast and someone jacked it.” Kells wiped his eyes and tried to stop his laughing, it kept setting off whatever was aching in his stomach. Fuck, his body was feeling strange since he went off the blockers. He wasn't looking forward to what else was in store. What if his heats were a regular thing now? Maybe it was smart to let the Alpha hang around. It wasn't like he'd trust anyone else to help. He didn't know if that meant he trusted the killer already though or not. It took him a moment to realize Dom had gone quiet and he looked up to see the Alpha look away. “I don't sell them. I save them. I figured mom told you? Why the fuck would you come back if you seriously thought I was selling people?” He was truly shocked. He could see the contempt fade from the other man's face and a look of relief shone in his darkened jade eyes. Dom killed Alphas for less. He came to put Col down because of it… Why would he still show up?

“You needed me.” The Alpha shrugged but something tight and messy in his chest relaxed. He could see the omega working through something mentally but he didn't push. He wanted to be welcome.

Colson ignored the way that statement made him feel, especially how easily Dom said it. Instead he moved to crawl up the bed and settle under the blankets, carefully working off his jeans once he was safely hidden from view. He tossed them at the Alpha who caught them and tried his hardest not to sniff. Kells saw it though, those tired eyes flashed red before he folded the pants and set them aside. “Just so you know, my adoptive dad started this. He bought omegas and gave them new lives. I took over for him.” He explained simply. He was too exhausted to get into too much detail and it felt strange to talk because it didn't feel strange to talk to Dom. He was feeling too much to simply talk, especially after what he just realized. The killer ignored his deepest beliefs because he needed him. How was he supposed to handle that?

The Alpha wondered if he should leave but Colson patted the bed next to him. “Shut the fucking door and come to bed. Aren't you tired?”

After a moment Dom nodded and did as he was told before he walked around the bed. He tried to keep his mind from wandering to the night they met or how pretty the other would look spread out under him. His bite scar twinged as he took a seat on top of the covers and he rested back against the headboard. He kept to himself, his ankles crossed and his hands in his pockets. He didn't trust himself to do anything else. “Fanks.” He sighed, letting his eyes close as he leaned his head back but he could feel the other man staring at him.

“You're a fucking weirdo. I hope you know that.” Colson huffed with a playful edge to his voice. He didn't mean to scoot closer but he did by just a few inches as he tried to find comfort on his side. One thing he liked about being off his blockers hit him as he took a breath and closed his eyes.

The creepy psycho Alpha smelled like home.

🖤🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🖤

When Colson woke up the next morning he was surprised to realize how well he slept and even more so because at some point he'd inched over the rest of the space between them to cuddle against Dom’s side even though the Alpha never moved a bit. He pried himself away as carefully as possible to let the man sleep and promptly removed himself from the situation pushing the thought out of his mind. He couldn't process everything happening so instead he thought he'd work out. He could keep his days normal and decide what to do with the other man at night.

🌛

Dom appeared again once the sun went down, though of course he'd been watching most of the day. He was excited to jump to the balcony and even found himself smiling when he saw the door open. He wasn't used to being welcomed. Expected. Potentially even… wanted? They still didn't really talk but that night when Kells gave him a look he pulled his hoodie off and slipped free of his shoes. Waiting on the bed was an extra blanket and as he got comfortable he tugged it over himself. He still made sure to keep separate but he let himself lay down that night.

🖤🩸🩸🩸🩸🖤

Yet again Colson found himself glued to the Alpha when the sun rose, his arm over the other man's chest. He huffed softly at himself but lingered a moment, taking a second to explore and memorize his bedmate’s face. Without the stress of their waking lives etched into Dom's features he appeared every bit his young age. The omega was tempted to kiss his plush lips but he forced himself to disengage, he had shit to do and he still didn't want to get attached. They were just… helping each other sleep. That was it.

🌛

As Dom closed and locked the glass door behind him that night he was surprised to see Colson watching him and holding the other side of the blankets up. The extra he'd been granted the night before was gone and the omega was smiling like he'd pulled the perfect prank. “I don't like jeans in bed. Don't be an asshole.” The mob boss grumbled and Dom had to obey. Even though he'd fucked the man it still felt weirdly intimate to undress to his boxer briefs and t shirt in front of him. Col smiled as the Alpha slipped in bed and for the first time they laid under the same sheet and faced each other. They fell asleep talking lightly about what had happened that day even though Dom already knew it all. To the Alpha it was starting to feel like home.

🖤🩸🩸🩸🖤

Kells sighed as he woke up, pressing his face into the Alpha's messy hair. They were tangled together and he wasn't surprised that even though Dom was asleep, part of his monster was very very awake. He let himself smile, his belly full of butterflies at the feeling of the psycho hard against him. Dom wasn't the only one but… he couldn't bring himself to do anything. Sleeping together was one thing but sleeping together when it wasn't a life or death situation? Fuck that. A part of his mind whispered ‘soon’ as he pulled himself free and escaped to the bathroom to take care of himself. He thought he might leave the mess on something for Dom to find but he'd be at the gym before the Alpha woke.

🌛

Dom was flipping Colson off as he joined him that night, he still couldn't believe what the bastard did. “Tha’ were me favorite shirt. Twat.” He huffed, getting undressed down to his boxer briefs. He jokingly hid his tee under the pillow instead of leaving it on. The omega had used the shirt on his body as a cum rag while he was sleeping and he wouldn't give him that chance again. If Kells needed relief he could use his bare skin. He didn't push it more than that though, they just laughed together as they got comfortable in bed, facing each other again. That night Dom liked the sound of his lover's laugh so much he found himself telling embarrassing stories. As they started to dirft they inched closer until their fingers touched.

🖤🩸🩸🖤

Colson slept a little fitfully that night so when he woke he wasn't surprised to find the Alpha spooning him and holding him tight. The strong arm he scarred was wrapped over him, that beautiful death dealing hand rest light on his abs. He let himself linger, a little mentally messy from bad dreams and worse memories. He tried to shift and felt a little worse for wear and slightly sick. He hated how much his trauma could still affect him after so long. He was pissed his memory could make him feel so sick so he stayed a little longer in bed and let the snoozing Alpha comfort him. It wasn't like the psycho would know. He'd still leave before Dom woke and ignore his thoughts for the rest of the day.

🖤🩸🖤

It kept on that way for another week. Another. Each night Dom would wander into Col’s bedroom and strip down to almost nothing. They'd settle close but not too in bed and talk. Or not. What they did didn't matter, just that they could help each other sleep.

🖤🖤

It was almost a month of their new routine when something different happened one night. Everything had gone well- Dom showed up, slipped mostly nude in bed, they shared a few laughs or complaints, and drifted off to sleep. Normally the Alpha stayed awake longer to make sure the other was doing well. He had learned to judge how bad Col’s dreams would be by how much he whimpered or whined but that night he was quiet and Dom misjudged what that meant. Shortly after he drifted himself he was woken up by a blood curdling scream. He was jarred awake and instantly on alert, blinking his tired eyes fast. His sight cleared quickly to find Kells fighting himself, full body trembling as he scratched bloody marks in his inked skin.

The Alpha was scared which was an emotion he wasn't used to but he tried to move to help. He gently reached out to stop the assault but one touch was enough to wake the man. For a moment they stared wide eyed at each other before one tear escaped down Col’s cheek. “Colson-” Dom whispered softly, his voice thick with emotion he couldn't share.

“D-Dom?” The omega's voice was small and that one word broke the dam. The normally collected man felt a sob break free and without a second thought he was throwing himself at his lover's chest and crying against his neck.

Dominic wasn't used to comforting anyone but he wrapped his omega tight in his hold and pet his fingers slowly down his back. It was what Tom did for him when he felt shattered and it was all he had to offer besides a softly whispered- “I'm so sorry.”

“Why did he- why did they- why wasn't I good enough?” The Alpha couldn't make out much but he put a few things together from choked words and context clues. Besides that, he'd asked those questions a lot as a boy. He'd grown out of begging the universe for answers about the time he ripped his father open.

“You was. ‘Ush tha’. You was. No one else was for you. I ain't. No one is.” Dom was surprised at the words on his lips but he meant every one of them. It hurt his black heart to hear the strong man sound so young and broken and yet again he vowed to end the people who caused all that pain.

“Fuck you.” Colson whimpered, biting a kiss into his lover's neck. It surprised a moan out of the Alpha which somehow made Kells do it again. “Fuck you.” Curse. Kiss. Bite. A drop of blood hit his tongue. Dom groaned and their bodies moved until they slot perfectly together- cloth covered cock to cloth covered cock.

“Wha'?” Dom didn't know what to do. He could feel his dick filling hard and fast. His shaking hands wandered the sweat slick planes of Col’s inked back and he kept his head tilted. He wouldn't take any liberties but if the omega needed him he would do anything to help. He had his own needs though and they were rushing to the surface, probably making his eyes shine crimson bright.

“Shut the fuck up. Not good enough? Fuck you. Look at you.” Colson didn't know what he was doing. He just knew the more he touched and tasted the younger man the more his hellish dream was erased. At least for the time being. His tongue traced the Alpha's thundering pulse until he sucked a mark on his jaw. His hips rolled as their hands explored and his darkness ebbed slowly.

“Look- look at- fuck Cols?” Dom whined his name like a beg and the omega nodded as they thrust harder. Before he knew it their lips were meeting in a blood flavored kiss.

The Alpha could barely breathe, everything was too hot and so much. His cock was so hard it was poking out the top of his underwear and grinding against Col’s doing the same. They groped each other and pulled the other tighter, their panted breath mingling between rough kisses. Besides their soft moans and needy whimpers the sound of their precum wet bellies sticking together was near deafening.

Neither knew who hit their peak first, it seemed they were sucked under together. One cried out and the other answered and they both spilled a hot rush against their skin. At some point Dom's thigh had fit between Col’s own and the Alpha felt his leg drenched in slick. He didn't say anything but he savored the scent and feel as they rocked through their pleasure with shaking limbs.

Eventually their breathing calmed and their bodies stilled but they didn't pull apart. They weren't even sure they could if they tried. Kells couldn't bring himself to speak so instead he tucked himself under his lover's chin. He couldn't work out what had just happened and he was scared if he tried he'd break the tentative peace. Dom was just as confused but pleasantly pleased, his veins buzzing with pleasure. He just held the other close and pet his back as they drifted, eventually falling asleep again.

At one point Colson thought he heard the Alpha whisper something that felt both true and terrifying. It settled his soul but raced his heart in his chest. “You're safe. ‘Ome.” He tried to ignore it and sleep but he found himself waiting for the sun to rise so he could escape the safety of Dom's arms before he did something stupid like get used to it. Deep down he knew it was too fucking late. He already was. Home.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

It's not exactly a birthday fic but at least Kells got some special attention. I know it's a lot of deep feels and it may get worse before it gets better but you know I'm all about the silly happy dumb boys 😂 I hope you enjoyed it! 🩸🖤

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viceandmature · 1 year

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JENNIFER’S BODY 2009, dir. Karyn Kusama

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80scupiid · 2 years

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apparently we have a type of man ...

long-haired man >>>>

#long hair man #the dirt #vance hopper #the black phone #douglas booth #nikki sixx #stranger things #billy hargrove #mgk #tommy lee #bohemian rhapsody #joseph mazzello #eddie munson #joseph quinn #john deacon #hunter sylvester #metal lords

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guardian-angle22 · 6 months

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Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly) | December 2021

#colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #mgkedit #words of wisdom right here okay #I've never made gifs of him before... mainly because I'm not a strong enough soldier to deal with the intense hate this man gets online tbh #but this has just been sitting with me for awhile now #the way it seems like everyone (mostly online but also irl) expects other people to always be perfect #to always have the most correct and perfect opinion. or always put out the best image of themselves.#or share the most perfect version of their art #to immediately know how to properly execute a new skill #what happened to growing together and encouraging growth in others?#we shouldn't be scared to be seen TRYING #and responding to people who don't have it all figured out yet with just hate or mockery doesn't encourage growth or change #I'll stop now thank you for coming to my ted talk #my gifs #I’m gonna queue this up for a random day and forget about it I’m sure #queued post

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Trigger Warning- language, mentions of past child abuse and past self-harm

Previous Chapter

Chapter 21- Mötley fuckin' Crüe

A week later, you and Nikki were pulling up in front of Tommy's double story mansion across town.

"What are you going to say to him?" You asked, climbing out the car.

Nikki shrugged, "first an apology."

You simply nodded before you walked up the tall stairs to his front door taking two at a time before Nikki knocked. A moment later, Tommy pulled the door open with a cigarette between his lips and a look of surprise on his face.

"Hey, guys." He greeted hesitantly, glancing between you and Nikki unsure what was happening.

"What I did at your wedding..." Nikki began to say causing the confusion on the drummer to double. "I didn't... know... how to do that. How to be there."

"What's up, Nikki?" Tommy asked stopping the bassist struggling with his apology.

"I was really fucking selfish, and I shit on something that was important to you, and I am really sorry."

Tommy glanced over at you briefly before focusing back on Nikki. "I know you pretty well, Sixx, so... I kinda get it. And it's okay. But can you say that last part one more time for me?"

"Don't fucking push it, T-bone." Nikki shook his head with a smirk.

You and Tommy began to laugh before the drummer stepped to the side allowing you both to walk through the front door.

"I heard you and Heather broke up."

Tommy nodded, "yeah."

"I'm sorry, man." Nikki grabbed his shoulder with a small squeeze.

"Knew I'd get you to say it again." Tommy grinned with a laugh.

"Fuck you." Nikki removed his hand while trying not to smile.

Your eyes widened in shock not having realised that him and Heather had broken up. But of course, they would have. Heather would've seen the magazine with the photo of her husband kissing another girl on the front page. And not just any girl. It was you. It was the girl that Tommy would hang around with backstage. The girl he'd lean against during shows. The girl he asked to be his groomsman. The girl he ditched their honeymoon for. No wonder Heather was gone.

"Fuck, Tommy, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" You began to apologise before he cut you off.

"It's okay."

"It's not okay. Heather broke up with you because of me. I mean, fuck, you were married for seven years and-"

"Y/N, look at me." Tommy instructed, stepping in front of you and pinching your chin gently between his thumb and index finger before tilting your head up until you met his eyes. "It's okay." He repeated.

"How is that okay?"

Tommy sighed, glancing over your shoulder at Nikki. The two of them had a silent conversation you weren't privy to before his warm hazel eyes met yours once again.

"Because I've been in love with you since high school."

Out of everything you thought Tommy might have said, that was not on the list. That wasn't even on the draft of the fucking list.

Holy shit.

You opened your mouth to respond but no words came out.

"Kiss her, man." Nikki said from behind you, giving the drummer the permission he needed before Tommy tilted your chin up higher and he leant down capturing your lips with his.

You melted against his mouth and cupped his face with your hands deepening the kiss before pulling away and glancing over at Nikki who was smiling.

"Alright. We're going on a mission." He declared holding his hand out towards you.

You grabbed Nikkis hand before taking Tommys in your other and the three of you walked out the house towards Nikki's car.

It was time to go get Mick Mars.

Apparently, Mick just had hip replacement surgery, so you drove out to the hospital to pick him up.

You leant against the side of the car between Nikki and Tommy, and the look on Micks face when he saw the three of you together was priceless.

"About time you three got your shit together." Was his form of greeting as a nurse wheeled him out the front doors on a wheelchair.

You smirked pushing yourself away from the car and walked towards him.

"It's good to see you, Mick."

The older man smiled, "you too, kid."

"How's that new hip, dude? Feel like The Terminator now or some shit?" Tommy asked heading straight for the handles of the wheelchair.

"Touch the chair and I'll terminate you, Drummer." Mick threatened pointing at him.

Tommy quickly raised his hands and stepped back before Mick thanked the nurse behind him and slowly stood up out the wheelchair.

You took a step forward with your hand out, Nikki doing the same unsure how steady he would be on his feet, but the older man simply waved you both off and began walking to the car.

"Stop looking at me like that. Let's go get our fucking singer back already."

Locating Vince Neil was harder than you anticipated.

He wasn't at his house and after using the spare key to get inside, it was clear that he hadn't been home for a while.

"Where the hell is he?" Tommy asked, looking around and you had a sinking feeling you knew where your brother had ended up.

Moonshadow's bar downtown.

When Skylar was sick, that was where he went every single night and when she passed, he practically lived there. That place was like a second home to him at that point.

You thought rehab had helped him. He sounded fine when you spoke to him on the phone not long ago, but your brother was still suffering.

"Shit." You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands causing the guys to all look over at you. "I think I know where he is."

The four of you climbed back into Nikki's car and before you knew it, you were heading towards the front door of the small quiet bar. But before you pushed it open, you paused and turned to face the guys.

"Look... just let me talk to Vince first, okay? I-I don't know how he'll react."

They all nodded in agreement before you turned and entered the building.

There were a few people seated at various booths and tables, but there was one man sitting at the bar and there was no mistaking that long blonde hair anywhere. The guys remained by the door, for once actually listening to you, while you walked straight across the room towards your brother.

"You got company." The bartender warned, eyeing you and the guys by the door cautiously.

Vince glanced over his shoulder in confusion before his eyes met yours and he sighed, turning back around staring down at his glass of Jack and coke.

"I-I'm not drinking like I was. Don't worry. This is my only drink even ask him." Vince said defensively motioning up at the bartender.

"It's true. He refuses to let me serve him more than one drink."

You nodded, a little relieved to hear that because for a moment you feared your brother had really fallen off the wagon again.

"I'm proud of you." You admitted, sitting down on the stool beside him before leaning over and resting your head on his shoulder. "And I love you."

Vince didn't say anything to that but tilted his head until it was resting against the top of yours.

"How's your hand?" You asked after a moment, looking down at his scarred knuckles wrapped around his glass.

"Healed." He answered letting go of the glass and squeezing his hand in and out of a fist. "I should have never let dad touch you again. I should have seen it coming and-"

"Vin, it's not your fault."

"It kinda feels like my fault."

You lifted your head from his shoulder and turned in your seat to face him properly.

"It's not your fault." You insisted, reaching over and grabbing his arm. "I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah? Well, I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you and I failed, again."

"You can't protect me from everything, big brother." You whispered, mimicking your words from the day you both ran away from home.

Vince smiled sadly catching on before repeating his own words too, "I can try."

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes while Vince sipped at his drink savouring his one alcoholic beverage before you glanced over your shoulder at the others and nodded them over.

"Vin, the guys are here. They wanna talk to you."

That had your brothers head snapping around so fast, "what? No. Y/N, I don't think-"

"We just wanna talk, Vinnie. That's it." Nikki explained calmly reaching the bar, but your brother just stared down at his glass refusing to look at him. "Come on, Vinnie."

Mick suddenly reached out and placed a firm but gentle hand on your brother's shoulder causing him to flinch.

"Let's talk." Mick said.

Vince glanced over at you hesitantly and you gave him a small reassuring nod causing your brother to let out a deep sigh.

"Okay."

The group of you moved over to a table at the far side of the bar away from everyone else. You sat down between Nikki and Tommy while Mick grabbed some soda for you all and placed it on the table while Nikki spoke.

"I was scared." Nikki admitted, looking at Vince beside him. "After what happened with Razzle, I was scared that I was losing the only thing that ever mattered to me."

"Yeah, your band." Vince muttered.

"No. No. This." Nikki explained motioning to all of you around the table. "Look, we went to war together. Shit changes, people change, but I don't fucking care if Mötley Crüe never plays another note. All I want is my fucking brother back. Because this is the only family that I've ever known."

"We love you, Vin. Okay, fuck, I love ya." Tommy added.

"And I am sorry about Skylar, man." Nikki said gently.

Vince lowered his head avoiding everyone's eyes as his body started to shake and you knew your brother was trying not to cry at the mention of his daughter.

"It's against the laws, man." Vince sobbed, shaking his head. "It's against the fucking rules of the universe."

Your own eyes began to fill with tears as you stared at your brother struggling to hold it together before Mick wrapped his arm around him and that was all it took before Vince started to cry.

"Hey." Nikki soothed, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

"We got you, brother." Mick whispered, holding him. "We got you, brother."

Tommy suddenly pulled you into his side while you silently cried, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your back. Tears trickled down your face in a heavy stream despite how hard you tried to stop them, and Nikki reached over with his free hand and grabbed yours on the table giving it a small squeeze for comfort.

Eventually, the tears came to an end. Vince managed to get a hold of himself while you sniffed quietly. Your brother glanced over at you noticing your tear-streaked face before he looked at Tommys arm around you and Nikki's hand holding yours.

"Look, Vince-" Nikki quickly began to say, but your brother cut him off.

"You three together?"

Mick stiffened from across the table fearful that this might be the breaking point for Mötley Crüe. If Vince couldn't accept it, that was it. There was no coming back for Mötley Crüe and the older man knew it. You all knew it.

"I love them, Vince." You began to say before either of them had a chance to open their mouths and say something stupid.

A look of shock washed over your brothers face at those words. He knew that the three of you used to hook up and you eventually told him about the miscarriage. But Vince probably just assumed that it was a casual thing between the three of you. He didn't know that you were in love, and you hoped like hell that piece of new information wouldn't make him any madder than he already was.

You loved Nikki and Tommy.

You loved them both so fucking much, and you were done trying to hide it.

"Yeah, I love them." You continued to say. "And I know you don't approve of that. And we shouldn't have snuck around behind your back way back when, and for that, I'm sorry. But I can't change how I feel."

Vince remained worriedly silent for quite some time while he looked between the three of you carefully.

Tommy and Nikki seemed too frightened to speak which was probably a good thing and Mick was sitting there holding his breath, waiting to see what would happen.

"You guys love each other?" Vince eventually asked, his tone forcefully neutral as he glanced between you all.

"We do, man." Tommy answered without hesitation. "I know your sister is off limits, but we love her, dude. This isn't just some fling or something. We love her."

"He's right." Nikki backed up, Vince's eyes shooting over to the bassist. "Look, man. I've never felt the way I feel about your sister with anyone. I love her, and I'm not going to apologise for it. If you want to walk away, we aren't going to stop you."

"Or you can come back and Mötley Crüe can start playing again." Mick spoke up, resting his hand on Vince's shoulder.

Your brother glanced over at the older man briefly before shifting his focus back to the guys beside you taking in Tommys arm around your back and Nikki's hand still holding yours against the table.

Your heart felt like it was beating out of its chest in anticipation until your brother eventually nodded.

"Let's make some fucking music."

After announcing Mötley Crüe were back with Vince Neil as their lead singer, the first show sold out within an hour of tickets going on sale.

"Tommy, sit still or I'm gonna ruin your makeup." You warned from where you were literally sitting in his lap trying to apply his eyeliner, but he kept tapping his foot. "God, I forgot how fidgety you used to be before a show."

"I can't help it. I get nervous." He said defensively but managed to stop moving his foot so you could finish.

You lowered the eyeliner and stared at his beautiful hazel eyes making sure they were both perfectly even before you nodded at your handy work in approval.

"Can I move now, baby?"

"Yes, but be careful not to smudge-"

His lips crashed against yours before you could finish that sentence. It was rushed and needy, but perfect all at once.

You tossed the eyeliner in the general direction of the desk before resting your hand over his bare chest. Your fingers traced over the new tattoos that weren't there the last time you were on tour together. His hand shifted down to your waist, sliding up under your jacket until his warm fingers found your skin and he kept his hand there while you kissed him back needily.

The door to your dressing room suddenly opened causing the two of you to pull apart. You looked over your shoulder to find Nikki walking inside now dressed in his leather pants and new black jacket. His signature warpaint stripes were on his face along with a bandana around his forehead.

"Looking good, Sixx." You whistled as he closed the door behind himself, his cheeks blushing a little at your compliment.

You glanced back over at Tommy who was still holding you in his lap and now had red lipstick smeared over his lips.

"I need to wipe this off." You said reaching up to his mouth, but he grabbed your hand before you could do it.

"Leave it. It'll remind me of you."

Your heart swelled at that small gesture before Nikki walked over to the two of you and spun the chair you were both occupying around until you were facing him.

"Your look is missing something." Nikki observed looking your new outfit up and down.

It was just a simple pair of leather pants with chains hanging from the belt loops and a sleeveless red lacy top that probably showed too much skin and cleavage, but neither of the guys commented on it not wanting to control what you wore which you appreciated.

"Close your eyes for me." Nikki instructed.

You raised your eyebrows, "um, why?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." You answered without hesitation.

"Close your eyes."

You nodded and closed your eyes before Nikki's hand cupped the side of your face gently and then you felt him drawing a small line along your left cheek bone.

There was no mistaking what that mark was.

"T-bone. What do you think?" Nikki asked tilting your head to the side so Tommy could see.

"She's fucking beautiful, man."

"Yeah, she is." Nikki agreed before he lowered his hand from your face, and you felt the chair start to turn again. "Open your eyes, princess."

Slowly, you blinked your eyes open to find yourself now facing the mirror on the desk. Your eyes shifted down to the singular black stripe of warpaint on your cheek that was identical to what you used to have all those years ago.

You smiled at the mirror, "like old times."

Nikki and Tommy both met your gaze through the mirror with bright smiles.

The faded scars on your face and upper arm from the car crash back in 1984 were traced with glitter like you used to do on tour. However, the healed scars on your wrist were covered with bracelets.

You fiddled with the bracelets for a moment before catching sight of the clock on the wall behind.

"It's show time." You announced, climbing off Tommy's lap before shrugging off your leather jacket and throwing it onto the desk. "You boys ready?"

Tommy nodded, "hell yeah."

"Let's do it." Nikki grinned.

You followed the guys out the dressing room and down the long narrow corridor towards the stage before you knocked on Mick's dressing room door as you passed.

"Mick, it's time!" You shouted before walking over to your brother's door and knocking. "Vin, let's roll!"

Nikki then threw his arm around your shoulders while he walked, Tommy off to his other side fiddling with his drumsticks. Mick came out his room joining you down the corridor wearing his long black coat and top hat and then Vince stepped out in his leather pants and black muscle shirt.

The five of you walked down the corridor in sync together.

Vince wrapped his arms around you and Nikki with a bright smile spreading across his face. Tommy sprung himself in the air with one hand on Micks shoulder and another on Nikki's as he jumped up excitingly causing you all to laugh as you made your way towards the stage.

You slipped free from Vince and Nikki as you rounded the corner towards the backstage stairs and paused at the base of them watching the guys all walk up towards the stage.

A swell of love and pride washed over you.

Whenever Tommy sat down behind his drums and Nikki picked up his bass, and Mick plugged in his guitar, something always happened. It was like the air thickened with excitement. You couldn't put your finger on it, but it was like a weird kind of electrical humidity. You didn't just hear it, you felt it. Then Vince would scream the first few words of a song and all you could think was, 'we're home.'

You were a lot older now but some days you still felt eighteen with these guys.

This band had outlived wives and girlfriends, managers, record companies, agents- everything but itself.

From living in the Mötley House along the Sunset Strip and playing at the Whiskey to this moment... Mötley Crüe had fucking made it.

Nikki suddenly stopped halfway up the stairs noticing you were missing and turned in confusion. His smoky eyes locked with yours and he held his hand out towards you. You jogged up the steps and took his hand with a small squeeze.

"You did it. Mötley Crüe are back." You smiled proudly at him. "This is our life."

"If life was a song, then meeting you was the best verse." Nikki whispered in your ear before he placed a tender kiss to your lips.

You closed your eyes savouring the moment before Nikki pulled away with a bright smile on his face. His hand squeezed yours gently before he led you up the stairs catching up with the others just as you reached the stage and the crowd erupted.

Vince threw his hands up in the air enthusiastically. Tommy and Mick holding up devil horns while you stared out at the stadium full of people in front of you. The crowd was screaming and cheering louder than you had ever heard it as Nikki held your joined hands up to the sky.

After everything the band had been through together. All the years of fights, drugs, alcohol, criticism, heartbreak... after everything, they were still here.

That's fate.

That's family.

And that's Mötley fuckin' Crüe.

...THE END

A/N: I'm actually crying...

I didn't think I'd get emotional about this. It's just a fanfic, it's a fake story... but it's also real. It's based on true events from the band we all know and love, but to me, writing this story has been like a lifeline. And now it's over and I have no idea what to do.

From listening to Girls Girls Girls in my dad's car on the way to school when I was a kid... to 15 years later and I'm blasting Kickstart My Heart in my own car driving to work... then fast forward a couple years to the 14th of November 2023, I'm standing at Marvel Stadium in Melbourne over 1,5000km away from home with my dad watching Mötley Crüe live in concert.

Seeing Mötley Crüe in person... seeing Nikki Sixx on stage playing his bass... seeing Tommy Lee unleash on the drums... hearing Vince Neil scream the songs I grew up listening to and hearing John 5 tearing it up on his guitar carrying on Mick Mars' legacy... words cannot do justice to how fucking amazing those couple of hours were.

In 2022, I moved to a small country town for my career. I live alone. I have no friends or family in this town, they all live over 8 hours away. I'm introvert with bad social anxiety and I like being alone. I like my own space and having my own house, but it hurts sometimes being this lonely, but Mötley Crüe have helped me. From their music to their books, to their movie; The Dirt, to all their YouTube interviews and documentaries to their social media presence. Mötley Crüe have made me feel less lonely. They have helped me in so many ways and I owe everything to them.

I know I'm rambling, but Mötley Crüe, Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and John 5 have saved my life. Sure, to some that might seem stupid and pathetic. Mötley Crüe don't know me. They never will. But they have impacted my life so much and I would not be here typing these words if it wasn't for them.

So, from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank them.

I don't know what the future holds.

Mötley Crüe are doing some shows in America this year and releasing new music soon (I am so fucking excited to hear it) and according to Nikki on Twitter/X, the band will be back to touring in 2025.

Now, I don't know if that means they will come back to Australia or not, but just the thought... just the mere chance and possibility that Mötley Crüe might be back in my country that is enough to keep going. It is enough to get me out of bed in the mornings and go to work. It is enough for me to keep fighting and I know I will get judged for it but fuck anyone who hates on me for saying that because this band means more to me than you will ever know.

ANYWAY...

When I first started writing this, I never imaged anyone would even read it. I was purely writing this for myself, but I am so so happy that many of you have loved and resonated with this story and Y/N Neil.

Out all the fanfics I've ever written this one means the most to me. Thank you for coming along on this journey. I have had a blast writing this and at the moment, this story is finished, but who knows what the future holds ❤️

This is Sourwolf_sterek32 signing off. Until next time, stay safe everyone. I'm going to go cry and rewatch The Dirt for the hundredth time to make myself feel better xx

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #tommy lee x reader #tommy lee fanfic #vince neil #mick mars #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #the dirt #john 5 #mgk #colson baker #pov #imagine #80s #music

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sunbeamedskies · 2 years

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So everyone’s into pirates, vampires, and pop punk again? 2007 is back in full force

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daydreamingatnight209 · 1 month

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Me actually writing and posting? What??? 😱😱😱

Enjoy some Colson content my lovelies 🥰

As usual Feedback is welcome, HATE is not ; if you don’t like it, don’t read it. ✨💕

“I’m Here, Go Back to Sleep”

MGK x Female Reader

Warnings - None. Just pure fluff!

——————————————————————————

Waking up to an empty bed these days wasn’t unusual these days, with the album deadline slowly creeping up day by day, Colson spent almost all of his hours in the studio, working himself to the bone to produce an album everyone can enjoy.

With your own workplace continuously overworking you, sleep or time didn’t come easily to you either. You couldn’t remember the last time both you and Colson had actually spent more than a few minutes at a time together in the same room and it was starting to become very lonely.

Leaving the cold and empty bed, after another night of hopeless tossing and turning, you sigh and drag yourself downstairs to the kitchen. Preparing for another day to survive on coffee you make one for both yourself and your boyfriend who didn’t even leave the studio last night. It was most likely he fell asleep there in the very early hours of the morning.

While the lack of sleep wasn’t new for Colson, it certainly was for you and you could feel it slowly starting to affect your mind and body.

You grab him a change of clothes, a blanket for yourself and his favourite aftershave before crossing over from the house into the converted studio space.

With the band already in session, you slipped in almost undetected, but as always, your eyes caught Colson’s immediately. You give him a small smile and walk over to give him what you had brought over.

“Babe, what are you doing up so early? You look exhausted” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You let out a small laugh and set yourself down on the closest chair.

“Gee, thanks Col”

After a quick clothes change and the others leaving in search for food, Colson calls you over to the desk he’s working at.

“Come, let me hold you” he mumbles, stretching his long arms out in your direction.

Wrapping the blanket tightly around you, you walk over to your lover and wrap yourself around him so you were straddling him. He holds you tightly and sways gently.

“You need to get some proper rest, baby, you are going to make yourself ill” he tells you softly.

You giggle to yourself at his concern for you, knowing full well he wouldn’t take his own advice even if you begged him.

“I’ll rest when you do” is your answer and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you, despite not actually being able to see him as you rest your head in the crook of his neck.

The two of you sit there quietly, as colson continues to sway you and hum a track from the new album into your ear.

Despite not being able to sleep properly, something about being in colson’s arms after so long, settles you and you cannot fight the call of sleep that beckons you. Your eyes close slowly and without protest as you rest against the frame of your man, the feeling of safely enveloping you.

Colson smiles down at you, tenderly, the look of frustration and stress leaving your features as you snore lightly.

He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t missed these small intimate moments with you and did feel quite guilty for not making more time for you while in the process of doing this next album. You never once complained and took everything in your stride which is on of the many things he loved about you.

He couldn’t wait to look after you and treat you to something special as a way of thanks for all your support when the album was complete.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard everyone coming back to continue the session. He panicked slightly as they all barged through the door and glared at them in an effort to silence the rowdiness they were currently displaying.

“Shhh! She hasn’t slept properly in weeks and I swear if any one of you wake her up! …” Colson hisses at his friends, before looking down at you to ensure you were still peacefully sleeping.

Slim is the first to put his hands up in mock surrender, a smirk plastered on his face as he leads the group back out the door, but he was secretly glad that this would mean Colson would be forced to take a break, even if it was just an hour or so. He knew he definitely needed one.

Once alone again, Colson lifts you up with ease and carries you over to the sofa, laying you down and climbing in beside you. He wraps his arms back around you settles in. The movement causes you to stir slightly, your eyes still closed you mumble for your boyfriend not to leave you.

“Shh baby, I’m here, go back to sleep”

#writing #writers on tumblr #fluff #fanfic #mgk #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly x reader #mgk x reader #mgk x y/n #Colson Baker #fiction #colson baker x reader #colson baker fanfic #colson baker fluff #mgk imagine #colson baker imagine #mgk music #mgkedit #mgk angst

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skeezy-stoner-boys · 2 months

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MACHİNE GUN KELLY

#mgk #machine gun kelly

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keepingupwitholi · 2 months

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maybe | mgk feat. oliver sykes | 2022

#oliver sykes #oli sykes #bring me the horizon #band blog #bmth #dailymen #mine #dailymusicians #mgk

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erisnsn · 14 days

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#funny #funny memes #lol #meme #memes #haha #humor #ctto #life #twitter #justin bieber #halsey #mgk

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triplexdoublex · 2 days

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The only time she ever actually look into him was when he smashed the glass over his face and had blood all over it, she even put that lil perfectly placed thumbprint of blood on the bottom of her dress. She’s just the absolutely the most toxic girl to date Colson. She can say wat ever she wants but she only shows that she’s attracted to him and into him when he’s absolutely destroying hisself physically and emotionally bc any other time he looks good, confident, feeling hisself, taking care of hisself, hair is clean and face is washed she wants nothing to do with him and all of a sudden they break up almost everytime he starts looking put together again but it’s like she also tolerates him for pap pics but let him pop out with some dark eyes, some weight loss, oily unbrushed hair and the most depressed he’s ever been and watch how fast she can’t get enough of him. Idk if it’s bc of her insecurities and maybe she thinks Colson looks better then her, or maybe everytime he does look put together she always comes in second especially with fans or maybe it’s just bc she’s messed up in the head but whatever it is it’s the worst thing for Colson when he’s feeling so depressed and insecure

I feel like Iit’s the same type of manipulation abusive men use on woman,when they look good or feel good about themselves it’s “who you tryna look good for?” What are you so happy about?” “You must be cheating” The more they bring you down, the more defeated you feel , and the easier it is to control you. That’s Megan’s exact abusive tactive with Colson to keep him feeling low and insecure so she keep manipulating him.

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #megan fox

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 2 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Trigger Warning- self-harm, language, past drug and alcohol abuse

Previous Chapter

Chapter 20- You're All I Need

Over the next few months, you and Nikki became closer than ever before.

You had opened up to him and exposed your deepest emotions and Nikki shared his own with you in response. The trauma you had both endured as children and the darkness that plagued you both as adults only pulled you closer while you learnt how to navigate the world together away from the darkness and into the light.

Nikki was sober now. No alcohol. No drugs. Nothing. He still struggled with his addiction though. The lure and temptation were always there, but he was strong. Stronger than anyone else you knew.

You both had relapsed a few times, Nikki with alcohol and you with a blade. But you were able to pull each other back up and support each other through those bad days. You spent more time at his mansion than your own house by the beach. He liked having you around and you didn't really want to go back to your empty cottage alone.

Neither of you had put a label on what your relationship actually was, but it didn't need one. He loved you and you loved him. And that was enough.

John Corabi left Mötley Crüe. It was bound to happen, and nobody was surprised. The fans wanted Vince back and the band's latest tour with Corabi was a total failure.

Not long after finding out about Corabi's departure, you received a phone call from Vince and by just simply hearing his voice which shook and sobbed a little less, you knew your brother had come out the other end.

He was out of rehab and sober. He could now look at Skylar's grave and decorate it with flowers for her birthday, and he could finally smile whenever he remembers the funny things she used to do. He was still grieving though. He always would be, but Vince was getting better.

"I'm heading to the store. Do you want anything?" You called out, slipping your boots on.

"Grab some bread, if you can!" Nikki's voice shouted from somewhere in the house followed by his laughter. "Wow, that sounded so fucking domestic."

You snorted softly, "bread it is. I'll be back soon."

Out of all the things Nikki could have asked for, he had to ask for the one thing that the grocery store was running low on. He couldn't have asked for milk or something?

Walking down the bread aisle you spotted one lone loaf sitting on the shelf and you sighed with relief before reaching out just as a tattooed hand grabbed the other side of the packaging at the same time.

You opened your mouth about to fight for a stupid loaf of bread, but your voice died in your throat when you saw who's hand it belonged to.

Tommy Lee.

"Holy shit, Y/N?"

You smiled, "hey Drummer."

Suddenly the world around you faded away and you forgot you were in a grocery store surrounded by random people as you stared at Tommy in person for the first time, in a long time.

"I'm so sorry about Skylar." Tommy quickly said, his hazel eyes saddening as he thought about the little girl that used to follow you around backstage like a shadow.

"Thanks." You replied, glancing down at the ground not knowing what else to say.

Tommy didn't say anything for a moment while he stood there biting his thumb nail. It was a nervous habit he has had ever since high school and it seemed after all these years, he never managed to kick it.

"I've missed you."

You lifted your head at his words and met his gaze as Tommy smiled softly at you.

"I've missed you too." You admitted before he held his arms out silently asking for a hug without trying to force it and you instantly stepped into his embrace before his long arms wrapped around your body tightly.

He rested his chin on top of your head as you closed your eyes, savouring this moment.

It had been too long since you had seen Tommy. You missed him. You missed hugging him.

Slowly, Tommy pulled away but rested his hands on your shoulders holding you in front of him and before you knew what was happening, his lips were meeting yours. You froze for a moment at the unexpected kiss, but was quick to kiss him back, nonetheless.

"Tommy." You whispered against his lips. "This isn't a good idea. You're married."

"I'm sorry." He sighed, pulling away resting his forehead against yours.

"Don't be."

You tilted your head up and placed one last gentle kiss to his lips before taking a step away and smiling sadly at him.

"I'll see you around, Drummer."

You turned and began to walk away.

"Y/N, wait." Tommy called out and suddenly his hand was grabbing your wrist, stopping you.

You let out a pained hiss as his fingers grasped your sleeve. The still healing cut that you had been picking and reopening for the past week suddenly flared in pain.

"Whoa, sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, instantly letting go. "Shit, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

He hadn't grabbed you hard. If it wasn't for the cut, it wouldn't have hurt at all. Tommy might be a little hot headed and easy to start fights when he was drunk at bars, but he was never violent around you. If anything, he was overly gentle, always afraid that he might hurt you by accident, despite you having to constantly reassure him all these years that you weren't some fragile piece of glass.

Although, right now, that was exactly what you felt like.

A fragile piece of glass. Glass that was already cracked and damaged, and on the verge of shattering at the slightest touch.

"You okay?"

You realised that you had taken too long to answer and quickly nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

You knew your voice didn't sound convincing, but you gave him a reassuring smile anyway. Tommy stared at you for a moment, those bright hazel eyes full of sudden worry.

"Why are you wearing a jacket? It's like 85 degrees out."

Shit.

"Uh, I've been inside most the day. Didn't realise it was so hot." You lied easily with a shrug of your shoulders.

Tommy didn't say anything for a few seconds, his eyes glancing down to your sleeves before an uneasy expression washed over him. And you knew that he had figured it out because when you were kids, he figured it out too.

Vince had gone off to the beach after school with his friends leaving you alone in the back of Tommy's van.

It had been nearly a week since you and Vince ran away from home. A week since Tommy smuggled you both into his van in the front yard without his parents knowing. And it had been less than 24 hours since you broke your promise and started to cut again.

It was a stupid mistake and you regretted it as soon as you saw the blood. Vince would be so disappointed if he ever found out. He had told you to talk to him if you ever felt like that again, but you didn't.

"Knock, knock!" Tommy's voice called out from outside the van.

You smiled softly, used to his verbal knocking whenever he came out to the van. You sat up and reached over pulling open the side door to find him standing there, his wild brown curls blowing across his face.

"Hey, hitchhiker." He smiled brightly. "I didn't see you much at school."

You only shared a couple classes with him, and you had different friend groups, but the two of you always seemed to cross paths throughout the day between classes and during lunch, but today you had just hidden behind the gym. You weren't in a very sociable mood and didn't want to be around people, especially Tommy because he would be able to tell something was wrong.

"Sorry. Had a lot of work to catch up on." You easily lied.

Tommy stared at you for a moment, his warm hazel eyes glued to yours like he was trying to figure out if you were speaking the truth before he simply nodded and pulled out a small Tupperware container out from behind his back.

"My mum baked heaps of chocolate chip cookies. Figured you and Vinnie might want some."

He held out the container of cookies towards you and your heart fluttered at his kindness.

"Thanks, Drummer." You smiled, holding your hand out to grab them but then Tommy's eyes shifted down to something.

"Hey, what's on your wrist?"

He grabbed your hand and brushed your sleeve up before you even had a chance to register what he was doing and by the time you did, it was too late.

A shocked gasp escaped his lips when he saw the self-inflicted cuts carved into your skin. The container of cookies slipped from his hand and dropped to the floor of the van as he took a step back, his hazel eyes widening in shock.

"Did you... did you do that to yourself?" He asked, unable to process what he was staring at.

You hastily pulled the sleeve back down and folded your arms across your chest so he couldn't see, but it was too late to hide it.

"Don't worry about it." You dismissed, looking away from him.

"Don't worry about it?" Tommy repeated in disbelief. "Y/N, are you... do you want to... did you try to kill yourself?"

Your head snapped back in his direction so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash, "no!"

"Then why did you do that?"

He didn't sound judgemental or look angry. He just seemed sad and confused, which was worse.

"It's none of your business."

"If I find you dead inside my fucking van, then yeah, it is my business!" Tommy responded, his voice rising a little as he spoke before he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"That's not going to happen. I only did it because the pain... it helps." You tried to explain but Tommys brows furrowed in confusion. "I don't expect you to understand, it's okay. But if it makes you feel better, I regret doing it and it won't happen again."

He nodded and remained quiet for quite some time, but to your surprise, he didn't run off. He remained standing by the side of the van watching you carefully.

"Did you treat it?"

His question caught you off guard as you blinked and glanced over at him, his eyes glued to your hidden wrist.

"What?"

"Did you treat the cuts? I don't want them to get infected."

Oh. Oh.

He was worried about it getting infected. That hadn't even occurred to you. It should have, but it didn't.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

"My parents aren't home. There's a first aid kit in the bathroom. Let's go get it cleaned up." He said, holding his hand out towards you. "C'mon."

You stared at his hand for a moment before shaking your head.

"It doesn't matter." You whispered, looking away from him. "I don't care if it gets infected."

"Well, I care."

"You shouldn't." You muttered quietly, glaring at the blanket beside you like it had personally offended you, instead of meeting Tommys eyes. "I mean, look at me. I'm fucked up-"

"You're not fucked up."

You chuckled almost hysterically and shook your head.

"I am. I know I am. I'm fucked up. I'm broken, Tommy and I-I can't be fixed. I know that. I mean who does this? And you know what the real screwed up thing actually is? I-I like it. There I said it, I like it. I like the pain and I know I need to stop, but it's the only thing that helps. The pain... the pain helps, and I don't... I don't-"

"Hey, hey, breathe. Y/N, just breathe." Tommy quickly said noticing that you were working yourself up into a panic and you realised that you were in fact not breathing.

You couldn't breathe.

Shit, you couldn't fucking breathe.

"It's okay, just breathe. Deep breath in, come on. Breathe in, one... two... three. Breathe out, one... two, three. Good. Good. And again." Tommy coached climbing inside the van and sitting beside you.

His hand grasped your shoulder gently as he sucked in deep deliberate breaths for you to copy.

You stared at his necklace, focusing on the silver chain like a lifeline while you mimicked his breathing. Tommy continued to coach you verbally, your eyes glued to the chain trying to focus and after a few minutes your breathing slowly started to even out. You looked away from the necklace, your eyes locking with his beautiful hazel ones.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." You sighed. "You didn't- you didn't sign up for this. Just, go. I'm sorry."

You lowered your head fiddling with the loose thread on your jeans, too afraid to look at him as silent tears trickled down your cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere." Tommy replied. "You're more than just Vince's sister. I care about you, Y/N. Please, come into the house so I can clean the cuts properly. Please."

You tilted your head up and met his concerned eyes before you nodded, "okay."

"Show me." Tommy ordered still standing in the bread aisle of the grocery store as he stared at you with sad knowing eyes.

You blinked in surprise, "w-what?"

"Your arm. Show me your arm." He said again taking a step forward.

"Uh, no." You said, simultaneously taking a step back. "Why?"

Tommy sighed, "you know why. Show me your arm."

You held his gaze as he raised his eyebrows at you impatiently because he knew exactly what you were trying to hide beneath the sleeve.

"Fine." You sighed, lifting the sleeve of your right arm that you knew was bare. "Happy now? I gotta go."

"Your other arm." He quickly said before you could walk off. "Show me your other arm."

You opened your mouth to respond but then an elderly couple walked down the aisle and came to a stop beside you while they stared at the limited selection of food on the shelves. You closed your mouth quickly not wanting other people to overhear this conversation and Tommy seemed to catch on because he remained silent too.

Tommy held your gaze, his eyes filled with so many emotions it was hard to decipher any of them before his eyes flicked over to the elderly couple that had finally chosen their wholemeal wraps and were walking away.

"How many times?" Tommy asked once they were out of earshot because he didn't need to see the evidence to know what you were refusing to show him.

You sighed, "too many."

Tommy lowered his head grabbing hold of the shelf beside him as he sucked in a deep breath before meeting your gaze once again and you were taken back when you saw tears shining in his eyes.

"Look, I-I know I have no right to tell you what to do, but don't do this to yourself. Please."

"Tommy-" You tried to say, but he kept talking.

"I was so scared when we were kids. Even after you and Vince moved out the van, I worried about you. I didn't want to lose you back then and I can't lose you now."

"You're not going to lose me." You insisted.

His eyes shifted down to your arms folded across your chest hiding the cuts, "you sure about that?"

"If you asked me that a few months ago, my answer would have been no." You admitted causing Tommy's eyes to sadden. "I... I wasn't okay. I... maybe I'm still not okay, but I'm getting better. I'm trying to get better, and Nikki is helping me."

A look of relief washed over him at your words.

"Sixx mentioned that he was in contact with you again." Tommy replied smiling softly. "I'm glad that he's helping. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you-"

"Tommy, don't." You shook your head at him. "I left. And you have a wife. You have your own life to deal with. I'm okay."

He tilted his head with a sad smile, "but you're not okay."

You took in a deep breath and nodded.

"But I will be."

Those big hazel eyes softened as he stared at you before you leant forward and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

"I should go." You whispered, stepping back giving him a small smile. "It was nice seeing you again, Tommy."

You turned and began to walk away before he called out your name.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?" You said, turning back around just as he tossed you the loaf of bread.

You caught the bread with one hand and Tommy gave you a friendly smile as you nodded your thanks before walking away.

A few days later you were sitting on Nikki's bed strumming away at his acoustic guitar to the tune of Home Sweet Home when he walked into the bedroom and tossed a magazine down on to the blanket in front of you.

You stopped playing the guitar and looked down at the magazine in confusion until you saw the picture that was covering the front page.

It was you and Tommy kissing at the grocery store with the title: 'Tommy Lee Steps Out On Heather With Y/N Neil'

Your stomach dropped.

Fuck.

You and Nikki hadn't put a label on whatever it was that the two of you had going on. So, you had absolutely no idea how he was going to react. But as you looked away from the magazine to gauge his reaction, you found the bassist smiling softly.

"You still love him, don't you?" He asked, but it was clear he already knew the answer.

You had known Tommy for a long time. The two of you were never close in high school, but when Vince had shown up on his doorstep with you injured in the car and asked for a place to stay, Tommy never hesitated.

He had been there for you from the very start. To sleeping in his van, to looking after you whenever you had migraines, to ditching his honeymoon to be there for you during the miscarriage and everything in between.

"I do. I love him." You admitted, staring back down at the magazine. "I'm sorry."

Nikki walked over taking the guitar from your lap and resting it against the wall before he stood beside the bed and gently pulled your body into his stomach wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

You reached up and wrapped your arms around his midsection leaning against his side as he bent down and placed a kiss to the top of your head.

"It's okay to love two people at the same time." He whispered stroking your hair gently. "It's not like Tommy and I haven't shared you before."

"Wait, but-"

You pulled away as Nikki released you and you looked up to find the bassist smirking happily.

"I want to get the band back together."

Holy shit.

Really?

He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for your hand lacing your fingers together.

"For so long, I thought it was about... what did you used to call us? The Terror Twins?" Nikki began to say, and you smiled with a small nod. "Tommy and I... we thought it was about us for so long. We forgot that we were a team, and Vince was the quarterback. We forgot what made us Mötley Crüe: the chance collision of four very different, very flawed, and very difficult personalities and the girl that kept us together."

"Nikki-"

"I haven't given up on Mötley Crüe." He stated, squeezing your hand. "Can you help me?"

You grinned, "hell yes."

Next Chapter

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