#Lust Heals Give Me My Sin Again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alessiamalfoyzabini · 3 months

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𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱

Pairing | Yandere Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 2,220

Warnings | +18, Taehyung gives bad advice, Jungkook obsessed and manipulative, the protagonist increasingly confused with herself

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | If she had paid attention earlier to the sin that dwelt behind those obsidian irises, she would never have trusted it.

If she had noticed earlier the devouring love that dwelled in his corrupt heart, she probably would have fled.

She had done none of that, and now she had to come to terms with her new reality.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! Have fun with this sixth chapter, let me know what do you think! 🥰

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @douknowbts, @aiiselle90210, @fewercascade , @mageprincess7, @m00njinnie

Taglist is open!

Chapter List - I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII / The End

For several days Y/N could not sit properly, to her shame she had the constant need for help from Jungkook, which each time led her to clam up. The boy applied ointment to her every night to heal her wounds, which, shortly after that abrupt sexual intercourse of theirs, had appeared even more painful than the spanking itself, Jungkook avoided externalizing his happiness every time he touched her, encircling her soft buttocks in his hands gently, because on the other hand he saw the girl's detachment and felt guilty. Y/N could not forget the pain of that punishment, just as she could not forget the sticky feeling of his cum on her face, as well as in her mouth, had been shocking and regrettable. But what really humbled the girl deep down was the fact that she had felt constant pleasure in every action of his, even the most vulgar and obscene. The moments before her orgasm replayed in her head, she had longed for it, unable to think of anything else, and god-sometimes even dreamed of it. What was happening to her? It was not normal to react like this, he was her captor and he had punished her, like some kind of rude child, she burned at reliving each moment, this forced her to distance herself even more from the young man.

On the other hand, Jungkook watched her pacing around the house like a soul in pain, and wondered if he had been right to punish her in that way. He saw the distance that, if possible, had increased since that night.

He did not feel good about her in that condition; he wanted to make it up to her, but he did not know how. He swallowed, coming to the conclusion that they had to talk somehow.

He headed to her room with that thought, knocking gently on her door.

He did not like the fact that they were still sleeping apart, but on that Y/N had been adamant. "Y/N? Can we talk for a moment?" he asked, hoping to hear her voice.

Unfortunately, the girl decided to play the silent game once again, Jungkook inhaled, "Y/N, I'm coming in," he warned her, before throwing the door wide open and crossing the threshold of the room. He aimed his gaze at the bed, there where a small bundle was pretending to sleep under the covers. He walked toward that spot, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I shouldn't have treated you that way," he said, regretfully. Yeah, he should never have treated her that way, but between his anger and lust, he had understood nothing more, hadn't masturbated since that time in the old Y/N house, having her that way had sent his self-control to the dogs. "I was angry, and you very indisposed ... I think it was a mix of everything," he whispered, embarrassed, "And you were so beautiful that ... fuck, you really don't know what you do to me," he chuckled unenthusiastically, the girl opened her eyes slightly, remaining well buried. "I'd like to apologize, promising that I won't let anger make me lose my mind anymore, not with you."

Y/N felt a strange grip around her heart; she knew what it was and gritted her teeth. She could not let herself be swayed by the part that still loved him, despite everything he had done to her. She was an incurable romantic in love with her professor, her psychopathic professor who had kidnapped her and declared eternal love for her. He was sick and she could not give in, even though her body, heart, and part of her mind convinced her that he really only wanted her good. She felt a caress on her shoulder; it was a light, quick touch, like the beating of a tiny hummingbird's wings. She said nothing and Jungkook did not dare to add anything else, just left the room in complete and heavy silence. He had failed again.

From then on things were strange, when she got up she would already find breakfast, lunch and dinner still steaming on the table, but no sign of the man. It was strange to eat alone, she was no longer used to solitude, by then it had become the norm to have another human being around the house, ready to look after her at all times. So, unknowingly she began to look for him whenever she could, around the apartment. And always with disappointment, she found that Jungkook was not there. Feeling damn lonely, she began to curse the boy. Hadn't he been the one to tell her that he would never leave her? That he was there for her? Sure, he would not leave her to starve, but Y/N felt hungry for more, it was a deeper, more intimate hunger, one that bound one person to another. A sense of forbidden need that she tried to silence, but could not.

Jungkook was not faring any better, with dark circles to rival a panda's, he threw himself headlong into his work. And he was not behind a desk in that case. He finished just then violently severing a man's carotid artery, blood splattered on his clothes and face, watched with a frown as the man's body trembled and slumped to the ground in mute pain, threw the knife next to the body and shouted angrily inside the warehouse. "You've doubled the load of your work and now you're risking an alarming nervous breakdown, what the hell is wrong with you, 'Kook?" the young man turned sharply toward his friend, Taehyung stared in disgust at the corpse on the ground, "Why are you looking at me like that? Namjoon had said 'clean job,' this looks like a massacre to me." Jungkook grabbed a towel from the cabinet in the corner of the room, dabbing the sweat and blood from his face, "He deserved it, do you know how many girls in our brothel he killed for his disgusting sex games?"

"I know, I analyzed the investigation request Namjoon sent us, but that doesn't take away from the fact that reducing it like this was not in the plans, now how do we pass off the murder of a wealthy Hispanic arms dealer as an accident?" he ironized, Jungkook in response kicked the corpse, as if to emphasize the fact that he couldn't give a damn. "You have piranhas yourself, don't you? Solution found," he tossed his now unusable shirt into a black envelope; he could not go home in that condition, it would definitely break down the precarious relationship that bound him to Y/N. Fortunately there was also a shower in that warehouse, he really could not risk coming back like that, he looked like something out of a splatter movie and the girl did not know his second - and definitely more illegal - job. "Things aren't going well with the girlfriend, huh?" his friend taunted him, earning a dirty look.

"More like they just don't go," he sat wearily on the ground, hiding his head in his arms as he did as a child.

Taehyung immediately regretted mentioning the topic, "Hey, Jungkook...it just takes time, each one has a different way of reacting," he tried to explain, although he could not say he understood it one hundred percent, his girlfriend already loved him before she started a serious relationship with him, he had not experienced the same wars as Seokjin and Jungkook, or worse, Jimin. He recalled with a shudder the girl who was now talking carefree with them, had discovered Jimin's arsenal and had taken the opportunity to stab him on the back and escape. Where Jimin had found the strength to chase and tackle her, Taehyung still could not explain. "It's different Taehyung, I don't have what you call an 'iron fist' with her, if she rejects me I suffer and feel bad, I feel like I'm going crazy." "Then you reject her!" exclaimed the other harshly, "You live together and you are practically the only human she can relate to, if you stop talking to her, paying attention to her or seeing her, she will wonder why, and she will come after you!" He stared at Taehyung with a strange expression, mulling over those words. Perhaps his friend was right, perhaps he had been too helpful and this had been taken as a sign of weakness on the girl's part. He nodded, already knowing what to do.

Y/N heard keys turn in the keyhole and the front door open, she widened her eyes to see that Jungkook had finally come home on time. She had not seen him for days and was beginning to worry. Yes, she was worrying about him. And it was absurd, how unnatural, but it was indeed so. Y/N got up from the couch, that same couch where that painful punishment had been carried out, followed shortly after by the sinful act, and went to meet the boy. She reached him in time to see him take off his jacket, his distraught face leaving her interjected for a moment. "Jungkook!" she said, watching him minutely. His wavy hair was damp and let free to go where it pleased, a thick sweatshirt covered his statuesque physique, and a jumpsuit and boots completed the outfit. For the umpteenth time Y/N actually felt small in front of the man, especially when his gaze fluttered over her briefly, without answering her. He passed her in two strides, locking himself in his room without saying a single word.

This made the girl freeze on the spot, and she did not understand the reason behind his actions. Jungkook had gotten angry a few times, but he was almost always sunny and sweet in her presence; that coldness was something new, something the girl did not want to get used to. She walked slowly in the direction of the boy's bedroom, knocked shyly twice, but received no answer. Her arm fell back along her side, she felt lonely. She felt even more lonely when, at dinner, Jungkook remained with his eyes glued to his smartphone, she swallowed a bitter pill when, trying to engage in a discussion, she asked him, "How are things going at the university? You've been working a lot lately..." and Jungkook replied with a quick shrug. She lost what little appetite she had left, but forced herself to finish, fearfully remembering rule number two, which is to finish her meals like a good girl. She finished her dinner sadly, Jungkook silently picked up the plates and cutlery, putting them to wash in the dishwasher, then without another word he locked himself in his room. He still did everyday things, but with a strange and cold attitude. It went on like this for two weeks, Jungkook always leaving before she woke up, and although present in the house, there seemed to be no one to talk to. Y/N was going crazy.

She wanted Jungkook's attention, she wanted the boy to come back for her, but she did not know how to tell him without making a bad impression. She felt so lonely, and she had to admit it, the boy's love-struck side of herself was bleeding, with moist eyes she continued to watch the television, venting those tears she otherwise would have tried not to shed out of shame. She missed Jungkook. What she did not know was that the situation was generating not one but two victims. Jungkook missed Y/N, he missed her like fresh morning air or like the wind in his hair, everything about Jungkook wanted to push him to give in, to come back to her with a thousand and more kisses to give her and demand for himself, but Taehyung's words were firmly rooted in Jungkook's head. The girl had to understand the importance of having him around, otherwise the dynamics between them would never change. She would continue to see him as a jailer, he as an untouchable girl. It wasn't fair; he wanted a relationship, not a constant tug of war. So he kept coming home later and later, of course leaving her meals to eat, that would never change, but he wanted her to finally decide to run into his arms.

Two days later, Y/N lying in her bed could not get to sleep. Jungkook still had not returned and she wondered what he was doing and who he was with, especially that last question was nagging her. There had to be a valid reason behind his detachment so suddenly, and the thought of another woman had made its way into her mind several times already, the more time passed, the more the thought grew, until it had made it impossible for her to rest well at night for some time now. A strange feeling was roaring in her chest, one she had never felt before, never had a reason to feel it, and now it was disturbing her like few things in the world. Jealousy. Yes, she was rotten jealous. The image of Jungkook kissing or fucking a woman who was not her was corroding her from the inside out. She would have given every pittance to know the truth, but then what would she have done? Would she have survived such pain? She pulled up her nose and only then, in complete silence, did she hear the door open and footsteps make their way through the house.

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere jungkook #bts yandere smut #yandere bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #yandere #yandere jeongguk #jeongguk x reader #jeon jungkook x reader

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panda-writes-kpop · 2 months

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Demon! Dreamcatcher - Giving You A Helping Hand

a/n: i wrote this to help me with my dami b-day fic... so spoilers for that, perhaps? (this has nothing to do with the fic, i just had brain rot from my own idea... and wrote this instead of the fic 🤦‍♀️) I'll get back to requests and that fic eventually, I hope. 🫠

tw: lots of blood and gore for headcannons, demon eats human, the same human gets brutally murdered again and again, my opinions about what sin each girl represents, someone spits on a dead body, lots of death, DC are murder wives (literally)

♡ Masterlist ♡

Prompt - okay, this was pathetic. You couldn't even fight off one person who sent a right hook into your jaw. You didn't want to call her since she'll probably kill the person in front of you, but they started it by pulling out a switchblade.

Yeah, pleasantries went out the door a long time ago. Fuck, this was a bad idea.

Yet you still summon your girlfriend to your side.

○●○●○●○

• Your girlfriend didn't have the most elegant summoning pose - she was in the middle of biting an invisible dish.

JiU - Demon of Gluttony

• Annoyed, she turns to you before smiling and going to greet you...

• -before she notices the small cut on your face.

• Her head snaps to the other direction, noticing the other person who looks terrified at Minji's sudden change in demeanor.

• "I've always wondered what human meat tastes like."

• She lunges and tackles the person to the ground, and you close your eyes as blood and guts fly everywhere

• Not a bit of human flesh lands on you before Minji calls your name.

• You open your eyes to see her wiping her face of blood (as if her clothes and hands aren't soaked in the color red).

SuA - Demon of Pride

• "C'mon, my dear, I've still got leftovers back in hell. Shall we enjoy them together?"

• She's happy you called her - why wouldn't you call the best demon girlfriend to assist you?

• Oh, someone's bothering you? SuA simply opens a portal to hell behind the person and nonchalantly flings them into the portal.

• "Don't worry, babe, I won't touch them. Cerberus will tear them to pieces. :)"

• You forget how terrifying (and hot) she is at times.

• SuA, without dropping her smile, approaches you and gently places her hand on your cheek.

• With a bit of mischievous demon magic, the cut on your face is healed without a scar to be seen.

• She grabs your hand and drags you to a nearby bar.

Siyeon - Demon of Lust

• "Let's go have fun and forget about that miserable person, baby. Doesn't that sound like a much better way to end the night?"

• Your girlfriend drips charisma as she appears in a brilliant display of pink smoke.

• Her eyes glance between the two of you as a wicked smile appears on her face.

• "Well, what do we have here?"

• Siyeon corners your opponent and pins them to a wall with one of her hands as the other strokes their face.

• "You're going to regret ever touching them, you wretched little thing." Her voice drips venom as your attacker's face changes from pleasure to fear.

• The darkness of the night hides the gorey scene as Siyeon, in a brutal display of power, rips every body part from the other person.

• Once she's done, with a snap of her fingers, the blood on her, the ground, and the cut on your face are completely gone.

Handong - Demon of Wrath

• "Now we can enjoy the night together without any disturbances, right?"

• There's no warning after you summon Handong. She simply goes into attack mode after spotting the other person.

• They scream in terror and pain, but she simply scoffs at them

• "Should've thought about that before you punched them, huh?"

• Of course she knows about that, your girlfriend knows about every time someone wrongs you so she can correct things in your favor.

• With nothing but her hands, she's literally ripped them to shreds in what must be a world record.

• "Didn't even put up a fight." She rolls her eyes before landing another punch to their body. "Tsk, what a shame."

• You're the one who has to pull her off of them, with a gentle reminder that the other person was dead a long time ago.

• "I want to make sure that there's no chance that resurrection can happen, my dear." She hisses before spitting on the body.

Yoohyeon - Demon of Greed

• She's not always like this, you swear.

• "Hey, I was busy planning another bank robbery that would be totally foolproof! What are you-"

• She pauses as she looks at you and then the other person.

• "Well, you'll work as bait for Cerberus so SuA doesn't interfere in my plans."

• She snaps her fingers and the other person disappears, but you swear you can hear them scream in the background as you talk to Yooh.

• "They'll have a quick death, I promise!" She squeezes your hands as you nod and agree.

• In her hand, she offers you a bandaid. When you go to grab it, however, she snatches the bandaid away from your grasp.

• "Let me do it, babe!" She whines before opening up the bandaid. "It's the least I can do."

Dami - Demon of Envy

• She's awfully cute for a terrifying, murderous demon.

• She has a less flashier entrance than the other demons, and a less visible response to the other person.

• Her way of handling things is much less brutal. She simply places both of her hands on the person before gently pushing them against the wall.

• Their eye color changes to orange before running off while muttering on about coveting things or people (you can't really tell).

• Dami's attention turns to you as she wipes away any bruises, marks, or blood with the touch of her hand.

• "Are you alright, my dear?"

• Once you've fully reassure her that you're okay, you ask her why she didn't murder the other person in front of you.

• "I know that violence will scare you away, and that's the last thing I want. You shouldn’t be scared of me, darling."

Gahyeon - Demon of Sloth

• For someone who was created to be an incarnate version of envy, she sure doesn't show it off a lot.

• You've summoned her to you, but she's sleeping while standing up.

• So much for getting help from the demon representing sloth. You should probably know better at this point.

• When your attacker tries to approach you with the knife, Gahyeon holds out her arm and catches the other person's arm.

• She then proceeded to harshly throw them into a wall, giving them a quick death with a lot of head trauma.

• Without waking up, she sleep walks over to you. (How does she not fall over her own feet?)

• "There's something on your cheek." She mumbles in her sleep as you touch your face. "You should fix that."

• Thanks, Gahyeon, that's really helpful.

• "I'm going back to bed and I need a pillow." She says before pulling you into her arms. "You're coming with me."

• You can't break out of her grasp as she sinks into the ground, but you give up and accept your fate. That's simply how your girlfriend is.

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whorediaries-09 · 2 months

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girl here's ur request again bc you probably lost it in the amazing algorithm of tumblr. i still do it for you, babe 🩷 sirius black x reader fic with somnophilia and choking? pretty please with a cherry on top? also, WE MIGHT JUST GET AWAY WITH THIS RELIGION'S IN YOUR LIPS EVEN IF IT'S A FALSE GOD

i didn't loose your previous request(s) my love, i was planning to post them on the valentine's week. anyways that is quite beside the point because imma write this one too. enjoyy.

streets;

pairing- sirius black x reader warning(s)- 18+ content. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- set during ootp, cause i CANNOT resist dilf sirius 😔. sorry not sorry haha.

the slut club

no final fantasy, can we end these games though? you give me energy, make me feel light weigh

it was a nefariously lustful dream. you grinded against the hard object that provided you the friction against your pussy. a sinful sleepy groan left your mouth. you could feel the hotness creep under your skin as you felt your stomach tug with the familiar coil of ecstasy. you felt yourself arch against nothing, trying to let the coil boiling inside you snap, drive you to an edge of insanity.

it the fire in your nerves felt more real than a dream. it was like a consuming blue flame. you could feel the warmth of the musk infused breathe on your neck. you could feel the rough callousness of his hands across the skin of your thighs. you could feel the cold metal of his rings slide across your hot skin, rubbing over your inner thighs. it felt too real to be a dream.

'open your pretty eyes for me love, i need to see your eyes when i make you cum,'

your eyes fluttered open, when it finally dawned upon you. you met the gray eyes you'd been dreaming about. you met the warmth of the body you'd been wanting. you met the touch you'd been dreaming about. you met the one who's name rolled off your tongue with the sweetest sin of pleasure.

'sirius?' you asked, fazed, as his fingers roamed on your clit through your underwear. he leaned closer to you, simultaneously pulling you closer, shuffling on your sheets, barring his pearly white teeth. his knees locked themselves on the either side of your waist, keeping you in place. he took out his fingers from between your thighs, sucking his digits off your arousal. that earned him a guttural moan from your mouth.

'i've heard you moan my name so many times before. when you get your pretty mind dumb with dirty thoughts and play with yourself,' he said, a glimpse of malice in his stormy gray eyes. your heart burned in anticipation. the line between your dreams and reality crashed, when he wrapped his hands around your waist, manhandling you to sit on him, your knees on the either side of his hips.

you felt his growing erection through his pants on your wet core. his well defined pectorals had intricate designs of tattoos inked upon traced thin lines of healed wounds. the thin strands of gray hair hidden between raven locks reflected under the moonlight.

heinously, he grabbed your throat, his fingers pressing lightly on your arteries. he pulled you closer, so your mouth was in line with his lips. he smiled coyly, as if mocking you.

'tell me what you want,' you whimpered as you felt him buck his hips your clothed core. hotness of euphoria lust crept under your skin. he brushed his lips with yours, increasing the force on your artery with each passing second.

'i need you to fuck me,' you whispered. the embarrassment of the situation had dissipated. it was just the bubbling covet of bliss which simmered into every inch of your body.

so when he captured your lips with his teeth, dissolving you into his very soul, devouring you while ripping apart your underwear, your head was fazed. your fingers tugged at the waistband of his pants, freeing out his cock. he pushed himself inside you, stretching you out perfectly, causing a broken moan for him to swallow. he increased the force on your throat, blocking your supply of oxygen.

he thrusted into you, blurring the lines between the real and the fake. the summer air cooled upon your hot skin, as the hair on his pelvis rubbed on your clit. you felt yourself melt with his touch as he thrusted into you. he left your lips, a string of saliva connecting your kiss bitten lips.

you chanted his name like a fucking mantra, your moans and whimpers broken by the force of his hand around your throat. the cool metal of his rings contrasted against your hot skin. you lost yourself into cloud nine, in his heaven like eyes. he was a drug, a dream an overdose of sinful heaven.

it was sweetness and danger, when you felt the coil of orgasm bubble inside you again. your mind was dizzy with the lack of oxygen. you rolled your hips, as his cock hit your sweet spot just right. the scream got caught in your throat, and you rolled your eyes. you felt your toes curl, and thighs shake as your euphoric pleasure hit you. you clenched your walls around his cock, releasing your juices on his stomach.

he pounded into you, his hand leaving your throat, as you came down from the high, your lungs savoring in the supply of air. you hid your face into the crook of his neck, sinking your teeth into the soft flesh. you heard his soft gasps and felt his cock twitch inside you. you rolled your hips, urging him to release himself inside you. he bit your shoulder, as he came, painting your insides with hot ropes of cum.

the final fantasy had melted into a reality, as you fell beside his heaving body, your thighs slick and sticky.

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black smut #the marauders #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #marauders era #sirius black thoughts #sirius black x oc #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanart #sirius being sirius #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #fanfiction #james & peter & remus & sirius

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vivalarevolution · 10 months

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𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓞𝓴𝓪𝔂 𝓣𝓸 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓑𝓸𝓽𝓱

Jacaerys Velaryon x Targaryen Reader x Cregan Stark

Summary: War emerged from the shadows like an old friend, but apart from the war, there were also matters from the past that created new, unknown and dangerous affairs for her, so sinful and so forbidden. And this time she couldn't escape, getting trapped in between seahorse and a wolf.

A/N: I didn't expect to ever say this but lately I started to burn out mentally. That's why I decided to write something for myself ,afraid that soon I will lose my inspiration for any writing.

Anyway, I hope you will like it , enjoy it and find it worth reading.

As always, please remember that english is not my native language, I do not use it on a daily basis, so mistakes can or will happen.

The work contains smut, so minors do not interact with it.

The north was cold, full of ice and snow, and the northern people were even colder. Their eyes gave the shivers, and the low and rough tone of voice made silence the only thing that escaped from the lips of strangers.

But he, Lord of Winterfell, though he seemed to be the same, was the opposite of it all.

Cregan Stark was a wolf in human skin. A man who could bend thousands with just a single glance of his gray irises. He was like fire itself, dangerous and burning under her fingers. He was vicious and wild, devouring her flesh every night, never being satisfied, always wanting more and more until there was nothing left to give.

-Cregan - she moaned into his neck, her nails creating patterns on his back that covered the old ones, not yet healed.

-Feels good, princess? - he purred into her ear, sucking on its lobe, only to kiss it after , feeling her soft skin become covered with goosebumps.

-Oh Cregan - she whimpered, unable to say anything else, repeating his name like a prayer.

The man grabbed her thighs in response, lifting her legs up, letting her ankles rest on his shoulders, gliding his lips over the flesh of her calves, moving his loins deeply and slowly, taking her breath away as she felt the head of his member kissing her cervix again and again ,mixing pain and pleasure together.

-It's so sweet...addictive when you say my name like a prayer - he murmured, lowering his face over hers, rubbing his lips against her full , soft and red, almost swollen ones - It only makes me want to devour you like a hungry wolf and make you mine forever.

-Yes, yes ... only yours - she whispered ,tangling her fingers in the man's brown hair, pulling them again and again, trying to touch his lips, even for a moment - Oh Cregan, please, please! - she moaned directly into his mouth, her lavender irises covered with a robe of crystal tears, threatening to flow out.

-How can I say no to you ,my little dragon? - Cregan asked, moving his hips so brutally and animalistic, contrasting with the controlled movements of his hands that pinned her to the bed, commanding her to take everything, not letting her escape - Take everything I give you, that's right, good girl - he growled like a hungry enraged wolf, making her fall apart before his eyes.

Woman felt as if something had crept into her veins and made her body a shell filled with lust and desire, nothing more. Her muscles went limp, almost non-existent, and her eyes closed embraced in a soothing darkness.

The man's hands were still moving, marking her skin with an electrifying sensation that made her open her eyes, to open her mouth and let his tongue out, to let the wolf prey.

-Cregan - she said quietly so that the only one who could've heard her was the man she mentioned - Kiss me, kiss me again.

Brunet bowed his head, brushing her soft, delicate lips with his, fulfilling her wish.

-You make me a hungry man. Never wanting to stop, never going to stop - he murmured, tasting her again and again, mixing their breaths together.

-No... don't say that - she moaned, feeling his hands on her sensitive breasts, trying to recapture the bit of consciousness that began to ebb away with each movement of his fingers and each kiss of his hot lips.

-That's the truth. I could never lie to you, I can only tell you the truth when I look at you - he panted, attacking her once flawless neck, which was now full of red marks and bites - You have bewitched me, my body and mind and I can't lie. No matter how much you want to hear a lie from my lips.

You have bewitched me. My body and mind.

Those words, she's heard those words before. They echoed in her head, only to sink to the bottom of her stomach, creating a knot so unbearable and painful that she wanted to scream and cry in pain.

-We are enemies...out there, we are enemies to each other - she remarked listlessly, focusing her violet eyes on the snowy window.

-Yet here we're lovers. In my arms you are my beloved, not my enemy - he replied directly to her ear, tenderly kissing the left side of her face.

-When I return to King's Landing and announce the decision of Lord of Winterfell...you will become ... only an enemy - she confessed, after a moment leveling her eyes with him.

Cregan stared intently into her pupils, black as the abyss, drawing him in.

-You are the bane of my existence. And the object of all my desires. Night and day, I dream of you - the man announced and the woman knew every word was sincere, every blink of his grey eyes ,every breath taken during his confession - So when you come back I'll be on the other side fighting to tear you away from the clutches you were born into but didn't want to live. You will be my lover my princess, never my enemy.

The girl looked into his eyes, letting their grayness take her, almost drowning her. And she did nothing to stop it.

Days later, their conversation seemed non-existent. However, in truth, she was forgotten and hidden deep in the darkness by a woman who did not want to remember it, preferring to live in the bliss of unconsciousness. But life was cruel and was not about to let Y/n Targaryen rest, stabbing the princess's heart with long thorns of memories that flooded her like a flood as her eyes saw a familiar figure and heard a voice she once adored.

-I came here as a messenger, not a warrior - he announced and the woman didn't even know who these words were addressed to, for what purpose they were uttered but she didn't care, all she wanted to know was whether it was an illusion.

Prince Jacaerys Velaryon.

It seemed to her that he was standing so close to her, even though in truth he was so far away, but his brown eyes still spotted her in the darkness that surrounded her, no matter how much she tried to hide in it , no matter how she was trying to escape him. He caught her anyway ,right under the noses of the old gods.

-Let go of me - she said as his arms wrapped around her, trapping her inside of them.

-What are you doing here Y/n? Why are you here? - he asked, looking at her, his hands tightening on her body as soon as she moved harder than before.

-I'm delivering a message from my brother. Just as you doing with the message from your mother, my sister - she confessed, looking at him.

Jacaerys released her as if her words were burning, but he didn't let her go. Caging her in the form of his eyesight and body that blocked out everything but him, forcing her to focus only on the young man before her.

-Why? - he asked calmly, sounding almost hurt.

-Why? - she repeated his question, not understanding the meaning of his words, not when they were both now standing on opposite sides of the barricade as enemies - We are at war Jacaerys. There is too late to ask questions , too late to think what if.

They both fell quiet abruptly, letting the silence creep in between them, devouring them from the inside out , and none of them said anything, only staring into the eyes of the other.

-I know this war is real but I don't want to believe that in this war you chose your brother... instead of me - he confessed surprisingly quietly, surprisingly coldly.

-What was between us... it was just an illusion we lived in - Y/n replied, feeling the lump in her throat grow as her heart throbs with pain and her veins flood with anger.

-We decided to love each other - said the brunette, getting closer to the girl, more and more - It was a choice, our choice - he whispered, running his fingers along her cheekbone.

-But it was your choice to make me a woman you could love in the dark but never in the light of day. You've made promises to me before, and like a fool, I believed them. I won't be your fool again - she said firmly, pushing his hand away from her face.

-It was never my intention - he confessed quietly, trying to match her gaze, but she ran away every time - I wanted you, only you.

The white-haired woman shook her head, not believing any of his words and not wanting to listen further.

-Yet you swore to marry Baela. In front of my eyes you chose her over me - Y/n gritted her teeth, voice as cold as ice - Where was your love then, where is it now? There's a woman waiting for you, a woman who have feelings for you, and you're chasing the one you can't have.

Instead of answering, Jacaerys unexpectedly pinned her to a tree behind them, his body clinging to her like a puzzle piece, and his own hands wrapped around the hers.

-I'll always choose you - he announced, inches from her face, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers.

-Don't say that - she whispered, finally leveling her gaze with him - Don't say that. Don't say that, becasue I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask to be plagued by these feelings.

Y/n felt her heart being torn in half, allowing the memories to creep in. But then she remembered the gray irises that soothed her soul, gave her the longed-for oblivion, the hands that protected her and the voice that put her to sleep in the middle of the night.

And yet, she was no longer able to keep everything Jacaerys had once been to her, who he still was - a lover, a rock, a soulmate.

So she let it all in, let the pain tear her from inside, making her throat burn from how much she was forcing herself not to cry, and her eyes glazed almost like glass.

Brunet wanted to touch her, comfort her, but he let her escape from his embrace, letting her disappear into the depths of Godswood. Unaware that Lord Winterfell had been watching their close interaction, revealing a secret he was never meant to discover.

The night came quickly, and in the night came coldness that attacked every bone in her body. But the truth was that it wasn't the cold that was causing it but the feelings that hadn't left her for hours, taunting her.

Her lavender-colored eyes stared at the wildly dancing flames that warmed her face, giving it an orange glow, while one hand lazily glided between the fires until the door to her chamber swung open, causing her to be plucked from the ocean of thoughts, returning to the surface ,to the reality.

Cregan watched her like a wild wolf, wild as well as great, towering over the passage, blocking her only escape route.

With a look that said he knew. He knew something.

-The past can be painful - she said, her face was emotionless, but her eyes hid all the secrets that were in her - Love comes and goes like a gust of wind or a wave on the sea. I believe you know it, you loved and you lost... - she noticed reminding him of the woman who once held his heart, now she was its owner.

-We both loved and lost - he said, approaching her agonizingly slowly - And we both found love where we didn't want to look, in the arms of another - he added, kneeling in front of her, cupping her chin with his hand, stroking the smooth skin of her face with his thumb - But you my dragon , you have the opportunity to regain something that was once taken from you. I will never have that opportunity.

She wished meaning behind his words was unknown to her, but when her eyes saw Jacaerys standing by the door, hidden in the shadows just like she had been so long ago, looking at her as intensely, as passionately as he had during their affair, she knew her secret ceased to be a secret and became the truth that came to light.

-What if I don't want to? - she asked, looking straight at her nephew, wanting to see how he would react to her words - What if choosing the past makes me lose you? - she remarked more quietly, shifting her violet eyes to Lord of Winterfell.

Cregan looked at the younger brunet but it was only a moment, as if there was no need to talk between them, as if everything that was happening was planned.

-I saw your pain. I don't want to see it ever again - he announced, stroking the skin on her cheek, but her eyes still expressed uncertainty, hesitation - It's okay to love something you can't explain, it's okay to love us both princess.

-Just say the word - Jacaerys whispered right into her ear, and she turned her face towards him to almost meet his full lips in a kiss, surprised that he was right behind her ,without her knowing.

Y/n felt like she couldn't breathe, like something had crushed her lungs, preventing her from taking a breath, but as soon as she let out the first words, everything let go, the ropes were cut and the walls fell down.

-Never leave me again - she said to the boy before connecting their lips in a deep, longing kiss, tangling her slender fingers in his thick, dark curls.

She could feel the closeness of Cregan on her spine as he slid the white fabric of her nightgown off her shoulders, brushing her hair from her neck to kiss the skin in the hollow of it. His mouth was hot and possessive, completely different from Jacaerys's soft ones.

The northerner's hand slid down her body, engulfing her womanhood hidden behind the thin material of her underwear, making her whimper into her second lover's mouth as Cregan's rough fingers slid between her legs.

Y/n tried to focus on her breathing as two pairs of hands freed her from her clothes, soon to be kneeling naked between them, feeling vulnerable as their gaze devoured her.

-So wet - Lord of Winterfell muttered, playing with her puffy folds, coating his fingers in the juices that spilled from inside of her.

-So sweet , just for us - Jace said, sliding his hand down her neck, resting his lips on her jaw, planting sensual kisses there.

-Just for you ,both of you - she whispered, feeling herself falling into a state of blissful erotic drunkenness.

-You'll gonna feel us for weeks in your little pussy - Cregan added, slipping his finger into her center , rubbing against her bum.

The younger man kissed her again, his hand still on her neck, squeezing it every time she took a breath into her lungs, while the northerner continued to assault flower of her womanhood, making her leak on her inner thighs. Her abdomen burned with lust.

-You'll be good to us, won't you? - Jacaerys panted heavily into her mouth.

Girl nodded, no longer able to find her voice. Her toes curled from how close she was , how close she was to be pushed over the edge, but just as she was about to fall, all movements stopped.

-You won't cum until we say - Cregan said with a trace of malice in his voice, licking her juices from his fingers - You've been hiding your affairs form both of us. You deserve a punishment.

Both men stood up as she sat on her knees, naked before their eyes, letting them savor the sight of her fair skin.

Her attention was focused on Cregan while Rhaenyra's son was busy with his pants.

Her hand slid up and down his erection, squeezing him here and there , while her thumb stroked the vein on the side of his thick member and the head, smearing his precum to use as lubricant.

-Aren't you forgetting something little dragon? - Lord of Winterfell asked with a low growl, forcing her to turn to Jacaerys. His manhood, erected, pointed directly at her red lips, waiting. Its top shone with a transparent substance and Y/n leaned closer to lick it while her small hand continued to run along Cregan's shaft.

Taking Jace into her mouth, she pressed her tongue against his member as he slid down her throat. His long fingers tangled between her white curls, pulling at the roots just enough to make her whimper softly, and the vibrations traveled through his shaft to his spine, causing his head to drop with a groan.

-Just like that, good girl - Cregan murmured, her stomach jumping at his words and her chest spread with warmth.

Her thumb traced slow, enticing circles around the northern man's head before she slipped the other lover's member out of her mouth, focusing now on the wolf, kissing the tip of his manhood and licking it from the base. She felt his body twitch under her fingers as she swallowed him, running her hand over the part she couldn't reach.

-You're doing so well my love - Jacaerys praised her, pressing her head into Cregan's member until she choked.

When the young woman felt she was no longer controlled by the hand on her head, she pulled away from both men, taking in air into her lungs, panting breathlessly.

-Come on princess, let the wolf get a taste - the older brunette said, reaching out to pull her up and then kiss her as she stood in front of them.

The kiss was messy, wild, making her cheeks covered in saliva and precum.

-On the bed - Jace broke the kiss abruptly, grabbing the nape of her neck to make her look at him, slapping her left asscheek and striking it again as he felt her soft body tremble at his touch.

-Spread your legs, little dragon - Cregan said, standing beside the prince while she lay down on the furs in front of them - Show us what is ours.

Y/n propped her legs up on the bed, opening herself up.

-Play with yourself - sounded the next command and the girl didn't even know who said it, being clouded with desire.

A finger glided up and down her wet and swollen folds with ease, and her body quickly began to tremble as she ran it over her clit, circling the sensitive nub.

-Put those pretty fingers inside your pussy - came the next words, in a low and menacing tone that sounded almost animal-like.

Moving her hand down to her center, she did as she was told. Her hips met the movements of her hand as she moved, trying to find her sweet spot, meowing miserably every time when she failed.

-Faster - Cregan said - Come on, show us how pretty you look when you cum.

Playing with her like this, telling her what to do with her burning womanhood made her cum with tears in her eyes, and a feeling of her legs shake intensely. And before her senses could have return to her, Jacaerys laid down next to her, pulling Y/n against his warm, muscular body for her to wrap her legs around his waist in response, pressing her breasts against his chest as his big member rubbed against her puffy clitoris.

-I need to feel you around me - he murmured, grabbing her hips, rubbing her against his manhood, watching her release drip onto his shaft.

At the thought, the young woman could feel her walls tightening and her heart involuntarily jumping into her throat. And when he entered her, stretching her walls that he almost tearing her apart, it made her moan loudly, burying her face in his neck.

Cregan, however, gave her no time to adjust to her other lover, unable to help himself as her femininity struggled to take the prince all inside her, leaving a ring of white ,creamy substance behind.

Y/n felt the bed sink behind her, and soon the northernman's member entered her wet ,tight canal, leaving her breathless. Mixing pleasure with pain.

-You're doing so well , my good girl - said Lord of Winterfell, kissing her bare shoulder blades, covering them with bites and red marks - You taking us both so good ,aren't you? Your sweet pussy was made for us - his voice, though low and dangerous, trembled here and there as her walls tightened around the two members.

Her face was wet with tears and saliva as they mercilessly pounded her cervix. Their hands were all over her body, holding her in place as they feasted on her body, and all she could do was moan and mewl, taking everything they were giving her.

-She's so drunk on the feeling - Jacaerys said, watching her expression , when his lips weren't attacking her skin.

-It's so easy to break our little dragon - the older brunette added, pushing his hips out, grabbing her bum - But she looks so beautiful when she's broken, making me never want to stop.

Woman felt her body flooded with a wave of hot flames, which made her walls tighten, stopping their movements almost completely, making both of them, unable to stop themselves, and cumming deep inside her, filling her to the full, while a pleasant familiar warmth flooded her lower body, flowing from her after a while, which made her tremble, falling helplessly onto Jacaerys' torso.

The smell of sex filled the air like an intoxicant that possessed their minds that were already clouded with lust.

And so the seahorse and the wolf feasted on the white-haired dragon. Over and over and again , never wanting to stop.

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miko32 · 4 days

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Born Into the Seven Ruler's of Devildom

I was isekai'd to a world in a book. The title was "Kristin in the Harem of the Seven Demon Lords." Like its title, a human named Kristin was brought to Devildom against her will and had to survive through the temptation of the seven demon lords, who were brothers and avatars of the seven sins.

The seventh brother, Belphegor, the Avatar of Sloth.

The sixth brother, Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.

The fifth brother, Asmodeus, the Avatar of Lust.

The fourth brother, Satan, the Avatar of Wrath.

The third brother, Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy.

The second brother, Mammon, the Avatar of Greed.

The first brother, Lucifer, the fallen angel, the Avatar of Pride. My father. The one who succeeded in seducing the human Kristin and impregnating her.

I was in shambles with the ending. Lucifer had kicked Kristin out, banished to the swamp and died giving birth. The baby survived and was named Leilel by Kristin, and that baby is me.

I'm Leilel Morningstar, the child of Lucifer Morningstar.

Chapter List

1, 2, 3, 4

Tag List (Anyone can ask in the comment or send a message and say hi! I would really love to talk to you :D )

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

Chapter 5 --- First Day at School

The school quickly descended into chaos as all the demons talked about the new humans, their conversations soon turning to the previous humans in the program.

"Why didn't Diavolo invite Solomon?"

"Perhaps due to the incident with the human girl who was killed."

"Do you think there might be an 'accident' involving the human girl?"

"Ahaha! That would be quite dramatic!"

"Just another nephilim they have to deal with!"

…

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

That's all I could think of as I walked toward my classroom. This is messed up, absolutely messed up. Why in the world would Diavolo start the exchange again? After thirteen years, at the same year I enrolled?! What kind of stupid fate is this?! Ugh. Whoever God from up there or down here must’ve hated me. Why do these things keep happening to me?!!!

"Ah!" My foot caught something, and I fell face-first.

A group of demons laughed at me.

"Ahaha! Watch where you're going," the demon kicked my side. I let out an 'uf' as I felt another demon put their boots on my back, holding me down.

"Argh!" Fuck! Fuck! Oh, how fate truly hates me.

"Iuuu... She has some sort of weird smell."

"What do you expect from a swamp demon?” I felt the demon lift his boot. I tightly closed my eyes, waiting for the pain.

“Hey!”

I looked up from the floor, my view only to a familiar pair of white high-heeled boots.

“You low-born demons, it’s the third bell! I will not have you punk demons ruin Diavolo’s precious academy on the first day,” Mephistopheles scolded.

The demon who has his boots on me turned to Mephisto. I slowly lifted myself up, surprised at Mephistopheles defending me.

“Fuck off Mephist-”

Mephistopheles lifted his cane to the demon’s neck, silencing him. The demon gulped.

“With the new human exchange students, it is ordered that there will be no fighting between students.” Mephisto stepped forward, pushing the demon into the wall, his purple aura flowing from his hand through his cane. “So you better follow that order, or I’ll put you on the list of Diavolo’s enemies.”

“What-!”

Mephisto struck his neck with the end of the cane. The demon doubled over, coughing.

“Understood?”

The demon coughed and nodded. Mephisto gave a glare and his friends pulled him away, leaving me and Mephistopheles in the hallway. I placed my hand over my side, emitting a healing power. I felt Mephistopheles staring at me.

I should say thank you. “Um, tha-”

“Don’t,” Mephisto cut me off. “I will need you in good shape to show me the warehouse, correct?”

Oh. Right. I nodded.

“Good, now quickly get to your class,” he lightly pushed my leg with his cane. I flinched and glared at him. He smiled back and walked to his class.

I sigh relief. I choose a great demon to be my support. For now.

I gave myself a few minutes to let the healing power work through my back. Then I lifted myself up and went to my first class, History of Devildom. I had memorized the classes I take in this building, and I was able to arrive in time. I sighed with relief as I took my seat. Luckily, no one seemed to care about me. And… I looked around the classroom. No demon brothers.

Yes!

A woman walked in, small pointy red horns on her head, short white hair, and a scowl on her face.

"Sit DOWN!" she shouted to the whole class. Of course, she would be the teacher. The student take their seat as the teacher scold. "As it is mandatory to introduce myself, even though you punk demons don't need another History Lesson 101 all over the decades because you're all lazy punks!"

She lifted her index finger, with long red sharp nails that could reach the ceiling. She scratched it on the blackboard behind her.

SCREEECH, SCREECH, SCREEECH,

I closed my ears and gritted my teeth. The teacher spelled out on the blackboard her name, "Miss Viles."

"Now, all of you will address me as Miss Viles! Or else!" she pulled out a metal ruler and snapped it. A crackling sound burst through the room like thunder, but there was no lightning. Thankfully, I'm already used to the sound in the swamp. "And! I do not tolerate-!"

"OIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"

I jolted in my seat. That familiar voice... A demon behind me whispered, "Oh no, it's the scumbag greed brothers."

My eyes widened. The greedy scummy brother would be-!

Running steps were heard approaching from the hallway. Miss Viles groaned and held the door. When the demon stepped into the doorframe, she slammed it.

"GAH!!!"

I blinked my eyes, a demon sprawled on the floor. He had messy white hair. He was the avatar of greed, Mammon.

"HEY! I could've smashed the door, professor!" Mammon protested.

The demons behind me murmured, disappointed that Mammon didn't get slammed. That was obvious; Mammon had speed no demon in the realm could match.

Miss Viles glared. "Mammon, I will not repeat myself! Come to class on time!"

Mammon waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got ya!"

A knock on the door, and it opened, revealing a cute tan girl with brown hair. “Um, Ma-Mammon?"

I gasped. She’s one of the human exchange students!

“Ah! You must be Carina, right?”

“Ye-yes,” Carina stepped into the classroom, offering her hand. “Nice to meet-”

“I see you’ve already rubbed off on Mammon’s behavior,” Miss Viles ignored her hand. Carina slowly put her hand away with a frown. “Just because he is your caretaker doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be late for my class!” She slapped her ruler, making a thundering noise. Carina yelped.

“I-I-I’m sorry! Please don't kill me!” Carina bowed her back in fear. Students behind me snickered and laughed.

Oh no. This is just a repeat of what happened to Kristin. Bullied, mocked, threatened to be eaten. Not to mention, her caretaker was the same demon Mam-

“Eeep!!!”

The said demon had his face close to mine, staring at me. I was frozen in my seat, scared to death.

"Yo! Miss Viles! Who is this demon?"

What is he doing?? What does he want?! Did he realize??!!

Miss Viles blew her mouth. “Oh, that’s just the new baby demon from the swamp.”

“Wait!” Mammon banged the table, and I stood up, stepping back from my seat. “You’re the youngest demon?!”

“Uh-uh-uh, yeah?” Oh no, he must’ve realized I’m Leilel! FUCKING SHIT! I need to escape through the window!

"Oh yeah, you're the same age as-" Mammon suddenly stopped. He frowned at me, clicked his tongue, and sat in his chair. The whole class went quiet.

What's going on? Just a moment ago, Mammon was bothering me and now the whole class went dead silents. I glance at from the corner of my eyes, the whole students closed their mouth as if being sewed.

Miss Viles sense the discomfort, clears her throat, and clapped her hands. "Well, I guess that’s enough chaos. Let’s start class."

I sat back into my chair, dreadful and nervous. The classroom table is for three people, and I’m sitting with the poor human Carina and demon Lord Mammon.

Oh, God, why do you hate me so much?

My heart beating so fast it may have fallen out of my ribcage. My hand sweats like a pig. I take a slow deep breath. Distracting myself with the professor's lecture. I look from the corner of my eyes. Mammon was leaning over his crossed arms, yawning. He seemed to be bored out of his mind and ignoring everyone around him. I sighed in relief.

Then a quill tapped on my book. “Hey, I’m Carina, what’s your name?”

I flinch. Fuck. Quite bold this human wants to introduce herself to a demon on the first day. Very unfortunate that demon is me. If I become acquainted with Carina, I will be involved in Diavolo’s and the Seven Brothers' twisted game. They would let Carina be friends with me, then make me the evil demon who's out to eat this girl while the demon brothers protect her. It’s how they tricked Kristin and gained her favor.

And it’s going to happen again. I gritted my teeth and turn back to my book. I ignore her. I can’t get involved with her. Never.

I hear Carina let out a disappointed sigh. I clenched my pen. My consciousness was heavy with guilt. I'm really sorry. But her fate here had been predestined. And there’s nothing I would and could do. I'm still trying my hardest to survive here, and it's not been easy. Not without my blops though.

I exhales through my nose. I miss them already.

Suddenly Carina leaned on me, looking at my book. "Hum... La-mi? Lami?!"

I closed my book with a loud thud. For a human, she doesn't have a decency to keep a person's private space and business. Great. This kind of human would easily go down at least in a month.

I was about to scold her. "You...!" I stop as I saw the surprised look on her face, as if she can't believe what she's seeing in front of her. Her eyes cast down and up to my face. I blink. Why is she...?

Then her mouth curved into a grin like the Cheshire cat. “Wow, Lami” Carina mumbled with a smile. She giggled. “You’re thirteen, right? That makes me older than you.”

My left eyes twitch, shiver all over my back. Is this human a creep?

“What are you two talking about?”

I almost jumped in my seat when Mammon interrupted us.

Carina giggled. “Oh, I’m just introducing myself. Lami is so shy~” she gave me a weird smile. All the hair on my neck stood up.

What is this?

“Ik!” Mammon exclaimed. “Why would you wanna be friends with a demon from the swamp? They're the lowest of the lowest demons.”

Carina gasped. “Ma-Mammon!”

I rolled my eyes and returned to my book. A tan hand blocked my book with his palm. It was Mammon looming over me with a smirk.

“Not even the lowest demon wants to live there. You must’ve loved the smell, huh? I hope you shower twice cause I ain’t smellin - BUH!"

A board eraser smacked into Mammon’s head, and he fell backward into his seat.

“Kyaaaa!!!” Carina screamed.

“Human! Quiet! Mammon! Pay attention to the class! You've been in this class for decades! I had ENOUGH!" Miss Viles turned at me with a glare. "You!" She point her really-really long nails at me. I gulp. "I knew a demon from a swamp will have no manners whatsoever. So I'm going to assign you three, to DETENTION!" she slap her ruler to our table, creating a thunder sound over the class.

Carina scream loudly into my ears, hiding under the table like a mouse. Mammon was still on the floor, maybe passed out. The whole class laugh and mock us until Viles silents them. Then she went back to her lecture with a huff.

I take deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths. My heart may as well going to heart attack. How I wish it would happen. How I wish I was dead and send to Celestial Realm.

"I hate first day at school."

RRRIIIING!!!

The first bell rings for the next period, and I swiftly exit the class, my feet carrying me away.

“Ah, ah! Lami!”

It's Carina calling me. I keep running. Though the guilty conscience still lingers at the back of my mind, asking me if I'm going to let what happened to Kristin happen again.

I shake my head. No, I can't do that. I can't help anyone but myself. I keep running toward the RAD newspaper office.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Mephistopheles has his arms crossed, scowling at me. “Detention? On the first day?”

I frown as I open the map of Devildom. “It wasn’t my fault, it was that dumb greedy demon, Mammon!”

“Yet, you got yourself involved with that demon?” Mephistopheles clicks his tongue. I scrunch my face in anger. Demons. Why did I even bother defending myself? I take a deep breath, settling my anger down. After I relax, I focused on the map, pointing at a location.

“Here.”

Mephistopheles looks over the map, his frown deepening. “The park?! Are you insane? A thousand years of searching for the rebellion's illegal operation is there?!”

“It is there, just hidden.” I rummage through my satchel and pull out a small dual-sided standing mirror. “See the forest behind the park? It’s an illusion. They used this ancient spell, a double mirror, reflecting what they recorded in the mirror and making it like a big whole projector.”

I demonstrate with my mirror, reflecting the fireplace. The first side captures the fireplace like a picture with a camera. Mephistopheles watches silently. Then I turn to the second side, facing the other side of the room. The reflection now shows the door as a fireplace.

Mephistopheles gasps, standing over his couch. “I’ve, I’ve seen this spell,” he points to the mirror. “If we had walked through the line where the mirror is placed,” Mephisto steps to the fireplace, touching it. “Everything becomes real.”

I nod. “That’s why none of you can find the place.”

Of course, I know this from the novel. The chapter tells how one of the rebellion demon approach Kristin, offering her an escape from Devildom. In exchange, Kristin would give them a key to Lucifer’s real Cerberus at the basement of the House of Lamentation. Since their operation is based on recreating the demon dog Cerberus, they would need the blood of the real Cerberus. After a while, Kristin decided not to continue, not wanting to cause chaos in Devildom.

Stupid girl.

The novel said she trusted those brothers, giving them a second chance to redeem themselves. Yeah. Where are you now, huh, Kristin? Buried in the unknown dirt of Devildom, leaving me behind.

I grit my teeth and clench my hand on my lap, trying hard not to let it show on my face. So I scrunch my face and exhale.

Mephistopheles doesn’t seem to notice me, busy taking notes and talking to himself.

“Alright, alright,” He taps his notepad. “I’ll be with reinforcement to see if this is real.” He looks at me seriously. “If we find nothing, I’ll personally escort you to Barbatos's torture room at the Demon Castle.”

Hearing Mephisto threat made my heart stop for a second. Oh, fuck. Do I really want to risk my life with a novel I just read through the internet?

…

Fuck this. I close my eyes and nod.

“Good, if you try to escape,” I suddenly feel a weight around my wrist. Mephistopheles' mark shines, creating a shackle around it. “The mark will be your chains, is that clear?”

I gulp down my throat. Since when is he able to do this? I nod again, praying to God above to let my plan goes well.

#obey me shall we date #om #obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mephistopheles #obey me self insert #isekai #fanfic #bornintotheseven'srulerofdevildom

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cool-cowboy · 3 months

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Summary:

In which Father Kennedy comes up with a plan to expel your mutual lust by forcing the both of you to cope with it, and the plan works, for about a minute, then he confesses his undying and eternal love for you and does you on the altar while you stare at Jesus Christ.

This is the second work in this storyline, reading the first one isn't all that necessary, just know you've already indulged once before, during the previous Sunday's confession. If you like your men obsessed this one is definitely for you. Enjoy!

Tags:

Priest Leon S. Kennedy, Alternate universe- Medieval, Church Sex, Catholicism, Guilt, Adultery, Love confessions, Catholic prayers, Altar sex, Naked female clothed male, Body worship, Semi-public sex, Multiple orgasms, Oral sex, Vaginal fingering, Teasing, Vaginal sex, Cum shot, Aftercare

Blurb:

“If we are to abstain, why would we come here alone? Is that not counterproductive?”

Text:

“Father? Um- Stephan’s home, you-”

“I wasn’t looking to come inside. Accompany me through town, we have some things to discuss.” I nod, unsure exactly what said discussion will entail, considering it has been only a few days following our indiscretion, and I haven’t seen him once, though the guilt has been heavy, making me sickly to even look at Stephan, who is none the wiser, thankfully, I wouldn’t want to need to sin again by lying to ward off any suspicion regarding my adultery.

“Alright. Let me go and tell Stephan, he doesn’t like for me to leave without notice. Come in, Father.” I pull the door a little further open, allowing him inside and out of the cold, my thoughts already ungodly at the sight of him in his casual clothing, the collared shirt tight over his neck, and his upper body as well, providing an overly enticing view which leaves very little to the imagination.

“Hurry along, miss, we have things to attend to.” I nod, a little feverish, not glad to have been caught ogling, as well as anxious to speak to Stephan about the Father in any regard. I hurry to the study, admittedly delighted at the thought of any manner of time spent with the priest, even if it is sinful.

“Stephan?” He has the door closed, was telling me a few hours prior my cleaning was interrupting his work, so much so he had to close his door to keep me from being bothersome. He utters a soft “Come in” from the other side, so I do, opening the door slowly to keep from disturbing him, wary to rouse his bad mood.

“What could possibly be so damn important you’re interrupting a second time?” I don’t look at him, well aware being too bold is never a smart decision, just keep my gaze down and wring my hands, any attempt to calm the nervousness falling entirely flat.

“I just- I wanted to tell you I’m heading out for a short while.” I glance up, his expression unhappy, though he really should be glad to be rid of me, if I truly am being such a nuisance.

“Where?” A tight leash, that’s what he’s named it, his stipulation of getting to ask his questions before giving his assent for me to do as I please, though he’s usually not all that big of a part of my day, keeps to himself besides mealtimes and when he’s looking to bed me, more often as of late, our marriage barren without me giving him any children, of course I take precaution where I can, lily root has never failed me so far, though if Stephan ever found out about my unwillingness to bear his children I’d be in quite the predicament, I’ve already received more than a few slaps due to my “Infertility”.

“Just through town. The Father has some things he wants to discuss.” I hope it’s sufficient, I would rather be truthful where possible, I never had the chance to become a skillful liar, never had reason to, before now.

“The Father? What business do you have with Mr. Kennedy?” I’m sweating, hands wiped on the front of my dress doing nothing to abate the clamminess on my skin, my guilt plain, thankfully not so plain to my husband, this being one of the few occasions I’m glad he doesn’t pay me much mind.

“I assume it’s something to do with the choir, Meredith’s out of town for now, I assume he expects me to fill her role for the time being.” A convenient story, a truthful one, which happens to work very nicely in my favor.

“Sure. You’ll be back in time to make supper?” I hum an affirmative, and he waves me off, going quickly back to his writing, ignoring me once again, other than a final “Make sure you’re not “too tired” tonight”, the excuse I’ve been giving lately, claiming to be too busy to have the energy to give into being bedded, not that it works majority of the time, he does as he pleases no matter how pleading my asking him not to is. I leave him, not wanting to be a bigger bother than necessary, heading back down the hall to a man who’s more than willing to offer his time, the father waiting patiently just where I’d left him, inspecting a painting of Stephan and I hung just inside the door.

“He agreed?” I nod, making sure not to stare, taking my furs from their hook and shrugging them on, having a look at him when I’m finished, his expression serious, professional, not unusual, though we are closer now, close in a way I would have never guessed, me being the only person on the entirety of earth who has seen him in the throes of pleasure, lost to desire, the thought of his entirely different self rousing goosebumps over my arms, enticed and afraid at once.

“Let’s be off, I’ll need to arrive back with time to prepare Stephan’s supper.” He opens the door, letting me through first before closing it softly behind, the action not of any importance to him, but indescribably touching for me, something Stephan has never once done in the years I’ve known him, even while he was courting me he was selfish, luckily for him so was my father. “So, Father, what is it you… Wanted to discuss?” I’m curious, we’ve never spent time together outside of church hours, never had any reason to, which leads me to believe this has everything to do with Sunday’s confession.

“What is it about me that you enjoy?” I pull my brows together, taking his offered hand to help me down the steps, unsure why he’d ask something so forward, or where he intends to bring this discussion, the warmth of him lingering on my skin when he releases me, our pace lazy, a simple stroll, not entirely normal, but I suppose no one will gossip about Mr. Kennedy, the thought offering relative safety as we trail along, even if I’m not all that glad there are so many others out at this time of day.

“Forgive me, but why- Why do you ask?” I cast a look toward him, wary of having this conversation in public, even in the mostly empty residential block.

“I think I may have found a way to rid the both of us of our yearning… I suppose I should set the example. I find you perfect. You enrapture me with your nature, truly, you consume my mind and body with your presence, my entire being is delighted at any reminder of you, miss. I believe there is reason behind your draw, of course, God has sent you to me, and me to you, as either of our most formidable trials, lust being our greatest weakness-”

“Father, I don’t see how this is- What solution can we have for a trial from God other than to abstain?” He smiles, seeming overly giddy at my words, nodding along with them, his footsteps pausing just in front of the church’s walkway, his body turned to face mine, large in front of me, undeniably masculine, everything I would have wanted if the choice was mine to make.

“You’ve figured it out all on your own, miss. Abstaining is the only way, we must make a habit of it, that’s what I’m suggesting. Come.” He leads the way, the both of us entering the empty church, no service going on at midday on a Wednesday.

“If we are to abstain, why would we come here alone? Is that not counterproductive?” It surely seems that way, the tension settles the moment the door is closed behind us, thick and heavy, the weight of sin on my shoulders, my guilt eating me from inside out, an excruciatingly powerful deterrent, I must say.

“Temptation can only be overcome if it is present, miss. We are in no position to flee, we must face our desires and let God lead us in the way he sees fit. I intend to cure us of our illness in as quick a manner as possible, so we will need to bury ourselves in it, let the wound fester prior to healing. Sit.” I do, take a seat one the frontmost pew, watching him take a seat beside me, a small amount closer than what would be considered appropriate, though I suppose it’s necessary, being close enough to lean in but having the willpower not to. I wonder if he’s looking this well kept on purpose, to be enticing, he looks more put together than usual, and I must admit it is making me a little warm, my face heated only from being alone with him, sat close enough for him to do as he pleases, no confession window keeping me from seeing the entirety of him. “We will need to expel our desires… Have you been praying to the lord daily?” He’s sinning, the evidence is all over him, that same low, lusty quality to his gaze, the roughness of his voice, the pink dusting over his cheeks, the telltale tightness of his breeches. He seems to be trying to distract himself, keep his thoughts from wandering down the more unrighteous path, and I’m doing the same, though my mind has a tendency to wander, especially during time with the Father.

“Yes, of course, for forgiveness and guidance. I haven’t seen a difference- In the-uhm- The… Frequency of the ungodly thoughts, no matter the amount of times I plead for it.” God has been unkind to me in the past weeks, never providing any type of assistance to aid me with my problem, but I suppose that’s how it’s meant to be, it is my choice to be godly, or to give into the need burning through me, the scorching hot, pleasurable want that is nearly worth it.

“The lord works in mysterious ways, miss. We must remember this. We are to choose our own path, be worthy or risk our salvation when judgment comes.” I nod in agreement, though I can’t help but question it, God’s will, his willingness to tempt but not allow humankind to be tempted, the all-knowing man surely already knows what choice we will make, which path we will continue down. “Though it is true all sins are equivalent under the lord… As long as we are forgiven we are cleansed…” He has a hand over the front of his pants, just rested there, his expression lax, only a little pained, the suggestion clear, an offer to call off our abstinence before it’s even had the chance to begin, give into temptation and assume we will be granted forgiveness for our weakness.

“Father? You’re suggesting… We should..?” I’m not so sure, not that I’m strong enough to resist if he was to suggest we indulge again, it does seem much less consequential now that we’ve already done so once before.

“Not suggesting, merely… Well, perhaps I did suggest it. You really have ruined me, miss.” He sighs, closing his eyes and covering his face with one hand, seeming strung up, not all that willing to make either decision. “I’m all too willing to fail, only when it comes to you, all I ask is that we remain discreet, my position is based on the trust of the town, I cannot have them finding out I’m a sinner, they will lose all faith in me, I can’t have that.” I nod, unnerved he’s planning to keep this tryst going for longer than today, though I can’t say I won’t be glad to continue as we have, one sin is equal to many, penance is the only way we will be saved now.

“We cannot be found out. Stephan, he would- I’d-”

“I’m well aware, miss. I wouldn’t allow it, you will not be harmed. We will be sure to keep this under wraps, yes?” I hum, still afraid, a continued offense meaning more instances our sin could be revealed. “Good, well, I suppose reveling in temptation wasn’t the ingenious idea I thought it would be… Truthfully I’m being ungodly right now, thinking of how beautiful you were when you bore yourself to me, allowed me to pleasure you…” He’s touching me, has a hand on my knee over my skirts, his upper body turned toward me, the shift in the conversation bringing forth the familiar warm sensation, a buzzing of want settled over me, heavy and hot and unyielding.

“Father, we… Someone could come in…” He doesn’t seem to mind, his expression hazy, face near to mine, his breathing a little hoarse, excited.

“Don’t be worried, miss, I must admit I had lustful intentions, I turned the lock, in the case we weren’t well equipped to resist… Seems my hunch wasn’t far off, unless you aren’t as fully depraved as me… Tell me, do you wish to indulge?” He speaks softly, kind, his face a breath from mine, his hand pausing its upward travels to await my answer, this man who has no need to be so gentlemanly giving me the kind of choice I’ve yearned for nearly the entirety of my life as if it’s something so common.

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned, and I will do so again.” I sign the cross, praying my repentance will be enough, watching him sign his own, not at all concealing his lustful gaze, the holy signal dampened by his hand running a little further up my leg, my skin already sickly hot, the both of us anticipating it, steeling ourselves with heavy breaths.

“The father is just, he will cleanse and forgive the faithful of their sins…” He presses his lips to mine, soft and slow, the beginning of depravity, the sealing of our shared sin, the sweetest sin I’ve ever committed, the only one I’d give up everything to commit again and again. “This is it… The start of our descent… The most beautiful madness I could ever conceive of… The most evil perfection there is, my all consuming want, you.” He’s not rushed, it’s not in his nature, he’s calm, collected, his lips rough against mine, as well as his palm, cupped gently to my jaw, holding me to him, his skin hot against me, a reminder of sin, the heat a sort of omen of where we’re headed, a prelude to the heat of damnation we’re settling ourselves into. “I wish I could explain… The things I feel for you… The power you have over me… The carnal, painful need simmering inside…” He’s easing me back, slow, laying me back on my elbows, leaning over me to keep our lips connected, his hand trailing down from my jaw, ghosting over the curve of my waist, the gentle touch completely unfamiliar, his softness entirely enrapturing, his honest words spoken into kisses with a passion and fervor I could never begin to explain. “The sweet embrace of sin… Is all too enticing while you’re the one offering it… Miss, I have a confession.” He stops, pulling back to look down on me, his face and lips both flushed, nearly as flushed as mine feel, the both of us breathing heavy as he rests above me, his expression earnest and pained, distraught at his yearning.

“What is it, father?” He doesn’t tell me, rather sits up, pulling me along once he’s stood, lifting me right up out of the pew to rest across his arms, carrying me up the steps before pausing, just looking at me, still distraught, swallowing in a nervous manner as he looks down on me.

“My heart has always been full of God.” He sets me down, right on the altar, smoothing my skirts before sinking down, rested on his knees in front of me, staring up at me with that same expression, utterly terrified of what I’ve done to him, his hand moving to sign the cross before letting it rest over his thigh. “I’ve never had the room for anything further than the lord… Never felt inclined to make any, but you- You’ve shoved your way inside, clawed through a lifetime of God’s will and made your own home in my heart. The thought of- I’m appalled by it, the precedence you’ve assumed… Miss, you’ve consumed me, reached inside and tore my heart and taken it for yourself… Though… I find I don’t mind, and if it makes me ungodly then so be it- because I’m- I won’t apologize for being smitten with someone so utterly perfect- This is a mistake I would make time and time again, because it isn’t- Loving is never a mistake.” Love. I’m not sure I can say I’ve ever loved anyone, surely not Stephan, even if I do tell him so, the closest I’ve ever come to love is probably whatever warmth I have for the man before me, though I couldn’t admit it, loving him would be the worst possible offense, a far more real version of whatever we’re doing here, a crime for which there is no punishment other than the wrath of god.

“Father, we- You-”

“Just let me say it, I will bear my sins to you, you need not return my sentiment, I merely cannot keep the feeling festering inside any longer, feel free to ignore my ramblings, I am nothing but a godless madman, prepared to worship at your altar… Your body is the only temple I need, the only thing important enough to tear me from God, so allow me this, give me the freedom to speak my truth, divulge my sins to both you and the lord.” He’s touching me, staring at me with his head turned to the side, lips pressed to the skin of my inner ankle, lifted with a soft touch, the look in his eyes making me sickly, something so beautiful I can’t stand it, a care I’ve never seen, love. “I relinquish myself to you, completely, miss, from now until forever, I am yours, entirely. I will worship you, offer you all that I can in means of companionship and affection, though you need not do the same, I simply just cannot deny myself the simple pleasure of offering up my love, all of which belongs to you… Solely.” He’s making his way up, smoothly kissing up the inside of my thigh, looking up at me from his place on the floor, entirely enamored, his hand pushing slowly up on my skirts as he moves.

“Father..? I don’t- You can’t- You can’t say these things in God’s place…” He pauses his kissing, turning to look at me straight on, my skirts hiked up over my knee, my skin burning hot and clammy, worried what God will think of us now, two devoted disciples worshiping the other rather than our creator, indulging in an ungodly love.

“What I feel for you is not my doing, miss. I have fought against it long enough, I cannot convince my heart to feel for you any differently than I do. God knows this, knows I truly have tried my absolute hardest to quell my affections but I’m- This isn’t a decision I get to make, I’d continue loving you if I kept quiet. Just- Let me give myself to you, while we’re alone, the only time I can love you without looking your husband in the face… Let me love you before I face my guilt.” He looks near tears, voice soft and pleading, his hands coming palms together before he presses them to the wood between my legs, forehead to his thumbs, face hidden in my skirts. “Please, miss, forgive me, I did not intend to divulge my most gruesome secret, I only saw it fit to not hide it from you any longer- If you do not wish to continue-”

“I would- I mean… You may continue…” He lifts his head, lifts it and smiles, soft and affectionate, sickeningly so, his devotion pouring through his gaze, through his touch, his hands warm and rough on the skin of my opposite leg, fingers easing up on my skirts as he looks at me, his hand bringing my ankle to his lips, his eyes peering at me sideways as he lays slow kisses to my skin, slicking it with sinful saliva, his sin so overwhelming he’s lost in it, looking at me in a way that suggests nothing else on God’s earth matters as long as him and I are here, like this, indulging in something so terrible, but nothing of the sort, something so passionate it could only be god’s will.

“You’ve changed me… Molded me into something new… Laid the me before you to bed… Given me a new purpose… Pleasing you… My lord, you’re so beautiful I could do absolutely nothing other than gaze at you for the remainder of my days…” He’s made it up to my knee, my skirts hiked to my lap, his hands on the outsides of my legs, running up as he stands, pushing up further on my clothes before trailing his fingers up and over them, up from my hips to the lacing at my stomach, his eyes on mine as he pulls the knot, slow, his words quiet, the both of us too hot, too much feeling between us, too much to simply speak, the need burning low, humming beneath my skin. “I’ll say this, miss, you’ve made me human in a way I’ve never been… Shown me with your touch and care that I am to be cared for as I care for others…” He’s working my dress up, gently getting it up and over my head before smoothing my hair, not showing any interest in the skin he’s just exposed, instead continuing to stare into my face, conveying his truth through his gaze, his hands smoothing at the sides of my hair, the softness making me nearly emotional, a kind of fussing I’ve never received nor knew I’d wanted, all until now, until him. “You are my test, not of my willpower, but of how much of my love I can give away. I will not stop loving you, miss, I will love you until the day I die and after, I will claw my way out from beneath my grave and return to you, that is my penance, the one thing I can do to show that this is not a physical want, but an insatiable yearning to be one, a craving to be yours and to have you as mine, make a home for you inside my heart which cannot be sullied by fear or insecurity, a safe haven filled with all the warmth I have for you…” He kisses me, hands on the sides of my face, my body all but bare but without attention, this kind of lust without hurry, not about the physical pleasure as much as indulging in the warmth between us.

“Father… I must be… Off soon…” He hums, leaving one last lingering kiss on my lips before returning to his knees, hands pulling on my undergarments, leaving me fully bare, his clothing still fully intact, the clerical clothing still as crisp as ever, all of him smooth, enticing.

“Soon then, until then… Bless me Lord, and these thy gifts, which I am about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen.” He leans in, kissing up the inside of my knee as he eases my legs wider, trailing fingertips up the opposite side, his eyes peering up at me in his affectionate manner, his beauty laid out below me, utter perfection at my disposal. “I will do all that I can to please you, be free to speak any wishes you may have, I’m more than happy to oblige… I would be satisfied only to satisfy you…” He presses a thumb to my hole, or rather the wetness there, slipping it up to press to the pleasurable spot I’m not sure what to call, rubbing up and down, watching my face, seeming pleased at my expression, tightened with the feeling he’s offering, his breath fanning over my privates making me tense against him. “This is God’s will… It must be, otherwise he would never have allowed me this information, the secret to unraveling you until you’re puddled, so well worked you’ll never need anything else… God wishes me happiness, and that happiness lies where I’m able to show you my care… Where I can give you at least a fraction of what you deserve, miss. I’m curious… Let me…” He tastes me, softly, licking up and sending a pleasurable jolt through me. He groans, sounding pleased with his findings, moving to close his lips where his thumb has left, light suction there a whole lot more intense than the pressure beforehand, my light gasp getting him to continue, the image of him between my thighs entirely sinful, beautiful in the way of Lucifer, led astray, an angel who’s done wrong, cast down into my arms, well, between trembling thighs. “Yes… My lord this is… You’re incredible… The most perfect body and soul, truly the image of God…” He moves back to using his thumb, watching me with his pretty blue eyes, his lips skimming over the skin of my thigh, my wetness shining on his lips evidence of our actions. “This must be heaven on earth… Alone with only you… Nothing veiled any longer… Only my love for you laid out for God to see, whether he strike me down or grant me forgiveness I will not regret this, I could never bring myself to regret you.” The pressure is building, my hand mussing his hair, legs closed on either side of him, his thumb moving against me, the tightness making me breathless, unbearably hot, damnation so close it’s pressing into me, making me sick with fever. “You’re nearly there, miss, you’re afraid- Don’t be, worry on judgment day, for now only focus yourself on me, let me worship you, give you pleasure, mark you with my hands and body, leave traces of you all over me, ruin myself with your touch, plunge deeper and deeper into the depravity I’ve fought for so long I can’t remember the first time I sinned in your name.” He pauses his ramblings to watch me, head thrown back as I orgasm, intense pleasure along with the familiar searing heat washing over me, sweet words coaxing me down even as I pull on his hair.

“Father, father- We must hurry, come up.” He listens, standing to his whole height, still towering even as I’m sat up on the altar, his body slotted between my legs as he captures my lips, the taste of me on his lips somehow enticing, a reminder of what he’s done for me, of his depravity, of our willingness to deny God.

“Would you like to continue?” I nod, using a hand to pull him back to my lips, my other hand fumbling with his breeches, his hands taking over in a silent display of care.

“Would you… I’d like to… Please you.” I press a hand to his chest, backing him up enough to sink to the floor between him and the altar, his manhood bare to me, his clothes still mostly in place other than the undone clasp of his breeches.

“You’d really… You’d-” I grip him, softly, his whole body jolting as I run my hand up the length, looking up at him as I close my lips over him, the taste barely familiar, salty. “That’s… Lord help me, I’m hellbound…” He lets me do as I please, just pets the side of my hair as I sink down, gagging before I expect to, pulling back with watery eyes before taking him back in, my hands on clothed thighs, his expression worried, mouth gaping, the flush spread up to his ears and down his chest. “This is… Truly-ah- Lord, forgive me, forgive us, we will-hah- we will sin again and again, accept our-our penance and our pleas for forgiveness and-nnh cleanse us of our wrong doings-” He leans over me, one hand planted on the altar, the other gripped to my hair, leading me along, his head hanging, eyes closed tight, mouth opened in the pleasure I’m offering. “Nearly- I’ll never-Ah- I’ve never- Felt anything like this. So beautiful-hah- Heavenly- Your mouth is just as perfect as-Nnh! Perfect-Miss-!” He pulls me away, reaching out and pulling me up, taking care to wipe away the mess on my lips before easing me back onto the altar, his body against me, the heat terrible, dizzying, my body laid out below god, head over the edge of the altar, jesus christ staring down at me from his place against the wall, his body strung up to make up for me, for my lust, the greed to want more than what I’ve gotten, the sickness inside of me, whatever sickness has led me here, the father’s manhood pressing inside, my eyes on the son, his on me, the guilt making me sick, the distraction of the man above me not able to do anything to abate the burning heat settled over us, marking us as sinners.

“Forgive me, father in- in heaven, I will- I am a child of sin… I pray you will invite me- to paradise, forgive me for the-ah-the wrong I’ve done.” He lets me take care of my prayer, stays seated inside while I do, waiting, my eyes coming to his once I’m finished, both of us too unwilling to give up on whatever disgusting kind of pleasure this is to properly show appreciation to the lord.

“Miss… We really… Are you truly willing to- delve into the depths of depravity, accept and wear this sin as yours-Ours?” I really shouldn’t, I should high tail it out of this forsaken church and never speak to him again, but I truly can’t bring myself to deny him, or myself, something so searing hot, something so correct, perfectly incredible, his skin against mine the only thing I’ve ever truly longed for, enjoyed.

“Yes, I accept my sin and my penance, I need this, father, you.” He swallows, seeming distraught at my confession, at my willingness to be ruined, to sin alongside him.

“Then so be it.” He moves, slowly, drawing himself back and slowly forward, leaning over me and gazing down, one hand beside my ribs, the other gripped to my hip. “My God… I- You’re so-ah- beautiful… So- Tempting-! Miss, this is my love, this- This is the most of me I can-Nnh- Offer-! Being one with you- seated deep inside- this- this is the most-ah- Feels so- so good…” He’s lost, eyes nearly closed, opened for the sole purpose of gazing into me, his hips hitting the backs of my thighs, the sound echoing through the empty pews, his hand pulling me, coaxing me in to meet him, thumb stretched across to rub that spot, the both of us panting like dogs, feverish from our wrongdoing, burning with evil, a lovely sort. “Even if- If everyone found us ungodly- I wouldn’t- I’d kiss ungodly skin, live in an-ah- ungodly home, sink deep into an-hah- an- ungodly woman- Give into depravity, worship the opposite-Hnn- the-ah- of what I’ve sworn to, give myself over to the devil-” He’s laid out over me, head between my breasts as he works against me, both of us sweating, my hands in his hair and gripped to the side of the altar, my head tipped right side down, gaze on the son of God, my legs trembling, all of it too much, the devotion, the sin, the weight of him, the heat passed between us, all of it wretched, painfully precious. “You’ve corrupted me, miss, made me born new, born to-ah- love you, to satisfy this sinful need, to sink into the burning heat and-hah- and make my home there… God- You’re- You-Hnn- This is the only heaven I need, buried inside the- the woman of my dreams, our bodies and souls-ah- as one, two sinners lost in- in the- the- other-! Hah-The- feel of your skin is the most enticing touch I’ve ever-Nnh- The taste of your lips, your warmth, your sacrifice, ours, our shared sin…” He’s speaking into my skin, breath hot between my ribs, the heat of him nearly painful, his hand bouncing me against him, his manhood pressed deep with every thrust of his hips, my thighs tight and shaking around him, the high nearly there, Jesus staring down on us, reminding me of my guilt, the man waiting in my home, a man who could never even come close to making me feel like this, warm and overwhelmed and weightless and satiated all at once. He’s nearly finished, teeth gnashed and eyes screwed shut, forehead pressed to my skin, his thumb moving desperately against me.

“If the lord won’t forgive us for having this- I don’t wish for his- His forgiveness, I’d choose this a-ah- million times over- This- Emotion and pleasure like I’ve never felt, the touch of a woman who-Hnn- Woman who I’ve bared my soul to- Laid my heart out at your feet and you’ve taken it and-My Lord-! And me, placed your sweet lips on mine and given me all I’ve ever longed for. Let me return a- a piece of the pleasure you’ve given me- give you one more unforgettable high, one more today and a million more the following. Yes, God, yes- Miss, let me have it, Let me-Hnnn-!” I do, back arched up off the altar, the feeling entirely too much, wave after wave of heat and haze over me, both his hands on my waist to pull me in, his pace messy and quick, his noises whiny, huffed out against me, a final prayer in hopes of getting away with this. “Holy Mary, Mother of-Oh God, pray for us sinners, now and at- at the- the hour of our-Hah- our death-!” He leaves me empty, the high fading off as he empties, warmth laid all over my stomach, my eyes forward, toward Jesus, the loss of pleasure bringing a grief for who I was, a god loving and pure woman, now ruined, sinful and wretched, undeserving of God’s love, though that was the choice I made, the decision between the lord and my desire. “I love you, miss, purely and ceaselessly and infinitely, I will love you.” I believe I chose correctly, I suppose only time will tell, though I can’t help but find this love much more unconditional, the soft touch following the scene, gentle, rough hands easing me up to seated, a handkerchief cleaning the mess on my stomach, my hair smoothed sweetly, the closing of his prayer whispered against the skin of my forehead following a lingering kiss . “Amen.”

“Amen."

#leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #re smut #smut #idiots in love #catholic #hot priest #church sex #love confessions

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troperrific · 3 months

Text

/chapter 56 and 57 spoilers + predictions for Part 5/

Chapter 56

SLOTH HAS ARRIVED

well it’s been here since the beginning lol

First of all, I find it curious that the chapter began with the announcement that this is Chapter 5- SLOTH. None of the other sins had that. Does that mean there’ll be something different at the end of the arc?

Also, Belphegor really did begin the chapter painting himself (?) as the hero, lol.

Belphegor vc: “Yes, only I did anything for the poor boy. I, who gave him gore-vision to isolate him even further and let my insane and unhinged siblings fellow Demon Lords do my job for me traumatize him, so he would want to commit die. No, no one has ever tried comfort or befriend him *shoves Dante, Leah, Imuri, Barbara, Mikhail and the school kids to the side* NO!! ONE!!”

Belphegor vc, as he continues to traumatize and isolate Mr. Priest during this arc (probably): I AM SUCH A GOOD DADMOM PERSON!!

lol.

But seriously though. Although Belphegor’s statement about people not helping Mr. Priest is true to a very good extent, it’s also an exaggeration. Furthermore, it’s very likely that Belphegor has sabotaged Mr. Priest from within for many years and prevented him from getting help.

I mean. There are two extras that have adults like Albert and Charles suggest (sometimes to Mr. Priest himself) to get him some counseling/therapy. The latest diary entry from Belphegor mentions that “even he was ignored this time” which, coupled with that scene of him covering his eyes (implying his responsible for how Mr. Priest sees the world) from chapter 34, makes me think that the Lord of Sloth has often whispered in Mr. Priest’s ears, filling him with doubt and fear, that others would hate or abandon him if he showed his weakness, his anger, his view of the world. Preventing him from asking for help. Preventing him from letting himself get helped.

There’s kinda of this implicit message in the two latest arcs, (Gluttony and Lust) that sometimes you do have to ask for help. That you need to let others help you. It’s a lesson both Leah and Mr. Priest should’ve learned. Because, sometimes, people can only help you if you let them.

This is not to shift the blame onto Mr. Priest. Nor am I saying that the Church isn’t to blame for Mr. Priest’s mental state and that they didn’t neglect helping the kid. Because they really fucking did. But getting help and healing isn’t entirely up to others. You need to let others in. And that sort of vulnerability has always been… something to fear, I think, for Mr. Priest.

To make a comparison to Belphegor, one could say Asmodeus acted in a similar way. She tried to rape Mr. Priest (while claiming to wanting to help him), ignored Imuri when she called her out on it, still claimed to be the only one who could help him, talked about his traumas as if she was never responsible for any them and then tried to rape him again (while claiming she’s going to help him. again).

It’s sort of similar, in my opinion. Like Asmodeus, he’s not entirely responsible for Mr. Priest’s traumas, in this case, not getting help he needs. But he is responsible for at least some of this issue.

Even if that’s not how Belphegor sees it.

The Demon Lords in general often strike me as… hmm, a bit delusional or self-serving in many ways, even in their memories and thoughts? They’re unreliable narrators, that’s for sure.

We still don’t how they first met or what exactly Belphegor does in Mr. Priest’s head, other than let his many issues and traumas fester and rot, so I’m very curious about this arc. The Lord of Sloth is already giving crazy vibes, and that scares me. I thought Asmodeus and Beelzebub were insane but this guy? Looking forward to seeing how unhinged he is~

I have very little to comment about this chapter, since it’s more of a set-up for what’s about to come.

But a few things:

Vir and Charlotte’s expressions are curious to me. It doesn’t look like their alliance with Tachibana is all that stable. Or perhaps their goals might not be quite the same…? It doesn’t look like they get along, and we don’t know what the witches told Tachibana in order to get her financial help.

The extras have hinted at the appearance of Cass (Imuri’s friend) and the journalist. Are they going to appear in this arc? Is Marco going to appear soon too?

The question of the Church paying for their indolence is quite interesting. There was that one extra, of course, talking about those who wait on evil… but I’m also wondering if there’s something more literal? I ascribe to the theory that the figure inside Mr. Priest is actually Belphegor, so it could be just that…

But also, the Gluttony and the Lust arcs proved that… parts (?) of the Demon Lords can coexist in different places that they can control. For example, Beelzebub is able to send his mouths wherever he wants, even when he’s about to leave to Gehenna, and one of the extras showed he can communicate through them as well (like, he heard what Levi said and talked back). And, as shown with Asmodeus, with enough energy, she could appear as both Aria and the Demon Lord of Lust at the same time. It’s convincing enough that everyone, even Imuri at first, was fooled. It's implied that both bodies could coexist at that moment and Asmodeus, thanks to the Lust she gathered, could manage both bodies at the same time.

So maybe Belphegor has another “body”, other than the form inside Mr. Priest’s mind? Maybe he’s disguised among the exorcists/Church? (<- crazy thoughts)

Also, it looks like both Dante and Daniel are also suffering from the same disease of “I’m a tough and harsh old man who thinks and speaks logically and coldly please believe my bravado” that afflicts Cardinal Heisenberg. We’ve already seen that both Dante and Daniel do actually see Mr. Priest as a kid.

The men in this manga are so allergic to emotional vulnerability…. just be sincere…

Chapter 57

This chapter’s title may be “Wheel”, but it might as well be “intent vs action”.

First of all, I like that Dante is Mr. Priest’s supervisor. It’ll be nice to see them interact more. Not to mention Dante’s reflection about his advice towards Mr. Priest…

It’s such a bittersweet feeling. It’s not like Dante said it without meaning. He’d truly believed that love was a saving force… in some ways, he still does! What with him talking about God’s unconditional love during his fight with Vir.

But he also believed in the redemptive force of romantic love. Which, to him, didn’t save Vir. Of course, Vir’s motives are unknown to us, but they probably also come from a place of love, both romantic (towards Dante), but also neighborly (?) love…

Of course, just because someone has good intentions, it doesn’t mean the consequences will also be “good”. I think Dante’s “failed” and flawed advice is a good example as to what happens a lot in this manga (and no, not just to Mr. Priest). Which is… well, sometimes you can try helping someone and it just… doesn’t work!

I think a lot of readers don’t understand that? That it’s entirely possible that other people may have tried helping Mr. Priest, even in the smallest ways, but it just… didn’t work! Or it backfired! Like Dante considers his advice to have done! It happens!! Helping people… isn’t as easy as it seems, and the story seems to be taking a more realistic approach to that.

…anyway, I think it’s good that Mr. Priest has an adult supervisor now. Leah and Barbara may care about him, but I think they’re just too close in age to provide the help he needs. And… it’s… kinda unreasonable to expect a traumatized kid to heal another traumatized kid.

The parts that surprised me the most were with Imuri and Daniel, however.

I’m gonna play Devil’s Advocate here (heh), regarding Daniel’s lines from both chapters 56 and 57, as they struck me as peculiar, not because of what they seemed to convey on a superficial level, but rather because of who they came from and the hidden nuances they might carry.

At first glance, they come off as the usual harsh stance the Church has towards their exorcists, particularly their weird stance on Mr. Priest, and their apparent incapacity to admit their own faults and take responsibility for their incompetence.

...Except, Daniel was the one to point out that all the shit that pilled up until now (the witches, Mr. Priest snapping) was due to their indolence.

So, Daniel knows that they’re partially responsible for Mr. Priest.

Another point I’d like to make is that… I think Daniel has a history of making extremely cold but pragmatic decisions and deliberately coming off as harsh as he can to get people to cooperate.

But… in one of the volume extras, he expresses regret over his ruthlessness, musing if what he did for the sake of logic and the greater good wasn’t actually in vain. It was Daniel too who suggested that “only the strong be allowed on the field”.

And yet…

So, I think Daniel has many conflicting feelings about this… situation. Finally, I’d like to add that it was also Daniel who denied the suggestion of “restraining” Mr. Priest.

So. If Daniel sees Mr. Priest as a kid and not a tool, if he admits that the Church has responsibility towards everything bad that has happened so far, if he feels guilty about his own ruthlessness, why did he word things like that? Well, we already had Heisenberg spell out part of it:

As for other reasons… I’m actually perplexed, because it comes off as awfully manipulative at first glance- and it could as well be that- the kind of thing parents say to a child who messed up, y’know?

But.

The more I think about it, the more I consider that, had he gone with the soft route, a “we’d like to help you” or “we screwed up”, it’d still have come off as manipulative. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be manipulation, but it’d come off like that.

And… Daniel is actually being honest here. Not about what he feels towards the situation, probably, but as to what the situation is and how many members of the Church reacted upon hearing of his destruction.

In a way... He’s letting Mr. Priest know that the Church doesn’t currently trust him. That’s… a really interesting choice, and again, I can’t tell if it’s manipulation or a warning for Mr. Priest’s sake.

So… I think there’s a lot to unpack here, in just these few sentences.

Is it a really shitty way to put things to Mr. Priest? Absolutely.

Is it borderline manipulative and a way to keep him obedient? I think it could be read that way and it likely has that effect on Mr. Priest.

Is it an honest statement about what’s happening with the upper clergymen? Yes, actually.

Is Daniel purposefully playing the “bad guy” here? Maybe.

I don’t know what’s going through his mind in those scenes, but I think it’s worth noting that he has said things that contradict past remarks or actions these past few chapters.

Whether that’s intentional or poor writing remains to be seen.

I’d also like to note that, it’s a curious contrast to Aria’s actions and words from the previous arc, which were “conventionally soft” and caring, but were specifically designed to manipulate Mr. Priest.

you’re still a dick, though, Daniel. but that’s also what I find interesting about you

Speaking of jerks…

Never has Imuri been as charming or likable as she is now. What fucking selfish brat (compliment).

Seriously, though, this is actually consistent with what we’ve seen so far. She did put her pride and her feelings above Mr. Priest’s safety in the last arc!!

And I was waiting for her reaction over Mr. Priest “choosing Aria” over her!! And it’s glorious!! She’s more upset about the fact that Asmodeus’ little games have affected her relationship with Mr. Priest than his own well-being!! Even if for a moment!! Amazing!! What childish reaction!! Imuri, you knew what Asmodeus was doing!! You watched her manipulate him! And you’re mad it worked? That’s actually so funny!

My main grievances over Imuri as a character and supernatural love interest were that… it felt like she was too normal? Even moreso after we found out that she was essentially raised by Leviathan and had constant contact with Asmodeus and Satan.

It didn’t make sense to me that she was so normal (to the point many readers just pointed out she barely resembled a demon and was basically a normal human girl). And because she was so normal, it didn’t make sense to me why she hadn’t found her “true love” yet. It also defeated the point (to me) of the question as to whether “demons and humans can be together” to me. She’s not weird nor insane nor monstrous in any way or form, there's wouldn't be much of a cultural clash, so what’s the point??

(of course, there was that one scene where she went “oh, this is really erotic” upon seeing a bawling Leah and her “strong feelings” towards Mr. Priest, but that. went nowhere, so I just shrugged. it still makes me go ???)

But if that’s how it’s going to be!! If we’re going to acknowledge her selfishness!! Then maybe I can actually be genuinely invested in their relationship!! Are you telling me that the main couple will finally be interesting and compelling?? Please!! Tell me it’s so!!

(mostly joking, but until now I did find Imuri’s and Mr. Priest’s budding romance to be… just okay? kinda cute but mostly okay. less interesting than other dynamics though)

That’s hot.

To be honest, I also never really found Imuri as cute or charming as the author likely intended. It often came across as the same as Mr. Priest and their relationship- the author seemed to be trying too hard, and it had the opposite effect on me instead.

This is nice though.

Do I think the author will have Imuri actually be a bastard? Eh, not really. But the intention of “ruining him” is enough to me. Very much like what a Demon Lord would do.

It’s kinda of funny that this is the opposite of what Asmodeus “learned” at the end of Part 4. She recognized that, even if she had ruined (or tried to anyway) Sarah, that this would not have made the girl hers… and now here is Imuri, going all, I’m gonna make him worse. lol.

(Maybe she should’ve listened to Aria’s songs?? Her crazy aunt’s stories?? Imuri!!)

Also!! The demons are so shitty at handling rejection~ I love that~~

Small note: Imuri does use the term (堕とす) “otosu”, which is the same as the title and the same term the demons have been using to refer to either make someone” fall from grace” or make them “fall in love”. Thus the pun in the English title. My take is that, while they’re not necessarily interchangeable in the story, it is implied that many of the demons we’ve seen regard the first as necessary for the second.

Especially Imuri.

Anyway, go off Imuri!! Be as passionate and shitty as you want!!

Oh, and before I forget. This:

This is a special clue that will help destroy us later!!

Will definitely backfire later on. Which will be hilarious to watch. The Church should suffer their hubris. But also this is such a stupid idea- just get him a regular therapist you fucking morons (lol).

Now, onto my nonsensical thoughts about the possible themes we may see in this arc…

Predictions for Chapter 5- SLOTH

These will be… more a collection of thoughts, and will probably be less organized than what I usually try to write… As usual, prepare for my crazy nonsense…

1. Sloth’s probable temptation: the Eternal Childhood

So. Because of the last arc, Mr. Priest is now seeing Imuri in a more sexual light. In fact, him turning away his plushies as he masturbated, and the title itself (“The End of Adolescence” is the official translation, but the original in Japanese could be more literally translated as “Childhood’s End”) indicate that he’s growing up and, apparently, to Sloth, that could mean he’s distancing himself from the Demon Lord, what with Belphegor’s consistent connection towards plushies and… I guess I could say, “children’s rooms”, and “childhood” in general, so to speak?

I mean, the extra files with Belphegor apparently writing in a diary are titled “A Diary from a Certain Child’s Room” and the one extra about a suicide survivor talks about them seeing a child’s room. The crooning figure is probably Belphegor.

What does this have to do with tempting Mr. Priest, you ask? Well, it’s pretty simple.

The manga, I think, runs on the Children Are Innocent trope quite a bit. There’s a lot to talk about kids and how often they kinda of appear or are mentioned in the manga, thematically speaking.

(a woman’s body. their beauty. their womb. future children. all of these have appeared thematically-wise in every single arc. it’s something to analyze later but it’s not the point right now, so shhhh).

But the last arc talked a lot about how children should be… well, children! They should play, not worry about work or saving the world or marrying and having sex and having babies.

Children should play. Children shouldn’t have to worry. Children don’t have to worry. Leave the hard work and the sorrows and making choices to the adults.

…See, growing up can be scary because, sometimes, it’s all about fucking up, getting up and dealing with your mistakes.

And at the same time, if children are innocent and free (and sinless), it’s because they don’t have to face the weight of making difficult choices just yet.

For the first time… I think, Mr. Priest felt that he made genuine mistakes. That the choices he made were wrong (going to “Aria” first, choosing to continue the fight after it was over, causing the destruction of the school, masturbating while thinking about Imuri) and he can’t take them back now. His newly found sexual attraction over Imuri is also proving difficult for him.

These choices… Mr. Priest’s choices, to him, finally had consequences, whereas they didn’t really in the previous arcs. Be it because someone took care of it for him (like, in the Leviathan arc, as Barbara evacuated the townspeople and Leah prevented said town from being leveled) or because it was other people’s choices that mattered and had consequences (in the Beelzebub arc, it was Imuri’s and Leah’s actions, for example).

And that’s scary.

Asmodeus seduced him with the opportunity to act his age. But while that was fun, it was also scary.

Because they weren’t children. They were teenagers. And that age can include romance, and sexual attraction, and messing up, and slowly becoming an adult. Because the more you grow up, the more experiences you have. And the more experiences you have, the more likely is that you’ll fuck up.

And Mr. Priest doesn’t really have the tools to navigate a fuck-up or the feelings that come from fucking up.

So, if Asmodeus seduced Mr. Priest with the promise of a normal school life, where he can act his age, Belphegor will likely tempt him with a place where he doesn’t have to grow up.

He enjoyed not having the responsibility of saving the world… of not being an exorcist! And the responsibilities he was tasked with are far too much for anyone to bear, much less someone his age.

Surely a world without any worries, where he can just play and be spoiled would sound tempting, no?

I should also note that… the Demon Lord’s philosophies aren’t really… isolated, per se? They often… er, brush with each other or are a continuous in the way they’ve been introduced?

This is a generalization, but I suppose we can say:

“Men are violent”, “Greed is about the impulse to trample others to get what they have”, “The strong should trample the weak” (Mammon) -> “Women are envious”, “Envy is about destroying others over what you don’t have”, “The strong can’t help hurting the weak” (Leviathan) -> “Humans are violent”, “Life is a form of violence”, “Gluttony is about taking pleasure in taking a body and life for your own, regardless of denial, and the process of overpowering the other/earning your right to live”, “Gluttony is in human’s nature” (Beelzebub) -> “Lust is in human’s nature”, “Lust is about taking pleasure in the bodies of others, a body for your own, a violence in itself, mutual pleasure regardless of denial”, “The heavier the burden, the harder it is to escape desire”, “Lust is a way to escape sadness/hardship” (Asmodeus)

It’s messy, and awful to read, and again, I feel like I’m generalizing, but I think I’ve made a point in there being… a connection, I guess, between all of them.

Here, of course, the last statement is the most important. “Acedia” or Sloth has been associated with sadness and apathy in the past. Coupled with the themes about escapism (the maladaptive kind that is), avoiding responsibility or facing your sadness from the last arc… I think we’ll have a continuation here in “Chapter 5- Sloth”.

Perhaps Belphegor will double down on his “gore-vision” technique. Maybe not literally, but rather in making Mr. Priest see the… “ugliness” of his world, so it’ll be harder to stay alive and more tempting to retreat back into his shell.

Not sure where Imuri will fit into all this. Maybe he’ll go for the angle where Mr. Priest can’t have her, because… well, he’s a priest and he can’t quit because the world’s counting on him to defeat Satan.

Or maybe, if Imuri’s identify is revealed in this arc, well… three times trusting into a fake victim and being betrayed should do enough damage, right?

…Will Cass factor in any of this? Like, I think it could go in different ways depending on whether they’re a man or a woman. Will jealousy be involved, mirroring Imuri’s state in the Leviathan arc? Or will it be a more despairing feeling? Sadness? Apathy towards those who you don’t see in your inner circle/as a person?

Who knows.

But, speaking of relationships…

2. Belphegor and Marital Love

So, “Make the Exorcist Fall in Love”, draws inspiration from many different sources to work within its narrative.

Of course, there’s the Bible and other religious texts, there are quite a few nods to Paradise Lost and The Divine Comedy, and there are even texts that aren’t necessarily religious but are used to construct the characters. The novel “Lord of the Flies”, from William Golding, has been alluded to in the form of pig head in sticks in the manga (the witches’ sacrifices and the cover on vol 5) and is likely part of the inspiration for Beelzebub’s character and philosophy.

Then, since we had Sarah, from the Book of Tobit, as Asmodeus’ Lost Lenore, so to speak, I think it’s very possible we’ll see a reinterpretation of Machiavelli’s “Belfagor arcidiavolo”.

It’ll be interesting too. One of the things that separated Sarah and Asmodeus were the formers filial duties, getting married. Asmodeus often wondered if they could’ve been happy together, and part of her fixation on the child Sarah, in her inner monologues, are caused by her obsession with the girl’s innocence, as well as a time where she wasn’t anyone else’s…

It could be that, in this arc, we’ll explore an actual romantic relationship that failed, since none of the Demon Lords/Human duos we’ve seen so far seem to have reached that point.

Oh, maybe we’ll see a bit more of Imuri’s past failed romances? We haven’t seen anything since Part 2.

But. Anyway. In the novella, Belphegor is sent to verify the veracity of marital love, since the men that end up in Hell all blame their wives for their misery.

He then ends up marrying and actually falling in love with a woman named Onesta. But she ends up being vain (even moreso then Lucifer, according to the text lol), wasteful and often demanding in the name of her family (or her family was very demanding and mistreated him, and she didn’t do anything to stop them, something like that).

Considering that so far, there’s been a constant theme of choosing between your love and your duty (be it filial, patriotic or even pious, though I think the last two can often be combined with the first in this particular manga), and what happens in the novel, maybe we’ll see a case where Belphegor did get married, but his wife still choose her family over him?

Or maybe it’ll be a scenario where she’s incapable of fully committing or choosing one side over the other? I think I heard somewhere, somewhen, that there’s a story where Belphegor refused to take a side during Lucifer’s rebellion, tried to run away and hide during the fight so he could join the winner once everything was over… and that was what got him kicked out of Heaven (or to Lucifer’s side of the conflict).

Ironic but it’d be fitting, I think. We’ve started the arc talking about indolence and letting things go to shit, after all. Waiting on evil and all that.

We’ll also have to see what else the sin of Sloth entails in this manga… considering the pattern of systemic violence, and that we’ve started the arc talking about Mr. Priest’s mental state, and again, how Sloth has already been associated with sadness/suicide in the extras…

Maybe we’ll be dealing with mental health and issues? And how harmful systems end up fucking with everyone’s mental and emotional health? How such people are seen and treated… or perhaps not seen nor acknowledged.

Going with this, and this is a really wild guess… since mental issues/health could likely be a theme in this arc… and thematic of children that I stated above… maybe we’ll also deal with the infantilization of people dealing with mental health issues or trauma.

Could we also, as a counterpoint and complement to the last arc, where a very young girl was already being treated like an “adult woman” (but not really because everyone, her family, her 7 ex-husbands, Asmodeus, was undermining her autonomy/agency) in the biological sense (old enough to bear children), we’ll see an adult woman being treated as a child (in the sense that she can’t be expected to make her own choices)? The simultaneous early sexualization and eternal infantilization of women? Maybe?

A combination of all of those?

Who knows. Maybe Belphegor also met his (potential) former wife while she was a small kid, and then he, like Asmodeus, became obsessed with childhood innocence once their marriage quickly went to shit. Or maybe she rejected him once she became an adult?

(Edit: authors love their intertext so… will “Songs of Innocence and Experience”, from William Blake figure in the manga’s perception of sinless/sinful?)

Nevertheless, his apparent comments on “women being evil”? Major “that bitch hurt me, so they’re all bitches who’ll hurt you” vibes.

Hm. This is getting too long and It’s already too insane.

3. Ugliness, Beauty and the Possible connection with Part 6/Lucifer’s arc

Ah. So. Here is where I start to go really bananas with my predictions/theories like the rest wasn’t crazy enough

Well. See, the thing is, besides all of the thematic nonsense I’ve talked about here in this blog, besides the Demon Lords representing/dealing thematically with systemic violence and oppression (while simultaneously being also a representation of and offering a place for the oppressed/outcasts; it’s weird and complicated but I’d rather talk about it in another post), they also present to us… how should I put it?

The Demon Lords also present to us, narratively speaking, the problems/issues/obstacles/stuff that one has to deal with when in a relationship. It’s more relevant to romantic relationships but I’d argue that the topics presented by them and their (messy) relationships with humans could be applied to other kinds of relationship.

So, to resume it, because this post is already long enough as it is and this analysis also warrants a post of its own, here is how I see it:

Mammon and Leviathan mainly deal with power imbalances within relationships. Can you be friends/lovers with someone that’s not equal to you? How do you deal with these imbalances? In which ways is it necessary to be equal?

Beelzebub and Asmodeus mainly deal with emotional intimacy and, by extension, with communication, vulnerability, trust and consent. Relationships do need work to… well, work. And emotional intimacy is essential to romantic relationships. You need to communicate with your partner. To be vulnerable. And this warrants trust. Respect. Consent doesn’t need to be just about physical intimacy (though Part 4 does seem to focus on that). And taking what Mammon and Leviathan brought up about power imbalances, how does that factor into emotional intimacy?

Also note that I said “mainly deals with” in both cases above, because I believe all the relationship topics I’ve mentioned here are present in all the arcs we’ve seen so far. It’s just that they were the main “lesson”, the focus of those arcs.

Now, onto the "final" possible topics.

The question of ugliness and beauty is implicitly discussed since the beginning of the manga. But what really stood out to me was Belphegor’s line in the original Japanese (chapter 34):

Here he uses the word ugly (醜い) “minikui”. Such a curious choice of words.

There’s… a line here and there about characters being worried about how they’re perceived by others.

We have more literal examples, regarding physical looks, with Leviathan (she often worries her big, “ugly” body will frighten people and chooses to disguise herself as “cute and weak” little girl), Asmodeus (she tells Sarah that her “taste is strange” because the young girl finds her body filled with grotesque eyes to be “pretty”), Barbara (who always wears a mask and seems to have some sort of trauma regarding her looks) and Mikhail (whose “trauma” is his hair getting stiffer than usual and seems to be obsessed with cuteness, or his version of it, to the point of talking about everything in terms of “cuteness” or “uncuteness”).

We also have a more… social (?) notion of “cuteness”… like, when Imuri says that she wants to be seen as “cute” even though it supposedly (I say this because of the way she says it) contradicts with her “big eater” habits.

In a more “psychological” sense, Mr. Priest worries about others seeing his weakness, or even the way he sees the world. His anger, his mistakes, his trauma. The things he dislikes or fears about himself- a personal sense of “ugliness”.

(Small note: this is also why I think Mikhail and/or Barbara are suspicious with their obsession with beauty/cuteness. The other arcs also had “shared keywords” like “fair/unfair” with Mammon and Leviathan and “meat/thirst/hunger” with Beelzebub and Asmodeus. So that leaves ugly/beautiful to Belphegor and Lucifer)

But that’s not the point.

Mr. Priest has started to experience physical attraction towards Imuri. And despite his apparent confusion towards the importance of appearances, it’s clear that seeing the world as hideous monsters of flesh has affected his capacity to connect with others (he himself admits that due to that there was “no room for sexual desire” to Aria).

So, it’s clear that ugliness and beauty will have a literal role here. But I’d also like to propose that it’s also about someone’s inner beauty and ugliness (which means trauma and qualities and virtues and flaws).

Despite their growing feelings… Imuri and Mr. Priest don’t really know nor understand much about each other. Mr. Priest doesn’t know Imuri is a demon, Imuri doesn’t know about Mr. Priest’s (previous?) apathy towards most of the world. And because of their immaturity, fears and overall personal traumas, they barely try to get to know each other on a more intimate level (as in, even as close friends). They barely even consider or wonder about the other’s inner world.

Mr. Priest in particular is... bad at really looking at people? He tends to take everyone at face value (see Mikhail), and, for the most part, doesn't even bother to look for any deeper meaning within their actions or words. He doesn't wonder about that.

Mikhail's comment about Imuri "being too cute" also struck me as... not something literal, but regarding how Imuri presented herself. Despite the horrors she saw, she... doesn't show any sign of distress to Mr. Priest. Her being "too cute", I think can be interpreted as Imuri presenting herself as this (ironically enough) "innocent maiden". No real flaws to be seen other than superficial stuff like "eats too much for a girl". We, as the audience, know that she's a liar, a demon and kinda selfish. Mr. Priest doesn't.

And while I'm at it... maybe that wasn't the author's intention, but I can't help but notice that it was a similar case with Leviathan and Asmodeus/Aria? They both presented themselves as these innocent victims who... didn't lash out or showed any of the... "uglier" symptoms of being a victim. Is that supposed to mean something?

So I think it might be something that might be approached in the next two arcs. Or that’ll be done with other relationships.

Considering the possibility of the theme of “Marital Love”, maybe we’ll see something about how love/marriage needs all parties in order to work out. So “romantic love” doesn’t necessarily save people just by itself, but people can save themselves and each other by working (together) towards said love. Or something.

I think it’s in those contexts that we’ll see the discussion of ugliness and beauty applied to a relationship.

(Note: considering there’s inspiration from Milton’s “Paradise Lost”, I wonder if the thematic importance of ugliness/beauty from that work will influence here too? There’s a line here and there that Satan/Lucifer- they’re the same in the epic poem- turned ugly after the fall, and that said ugliness is a reflection of his depravity, hatred and rage. He can still disguise himself as he wishes, as beautiful as he used to be, but it’s now an illusion. And in the poem he’s obsessed with the beauty of the Garden/Nature/God’s creation… he’s specifically in awe of Eve’s beauty, which, if we go with the interpretation that it’s a foil to his newfound outer ugliness reflecting his inner ugliness, means that her outer beauty reflects her inner beauty- her love, her kindness, her innocence.

Considering we’ve seen that all Demon Lords have both a beautiful form and a hideous one, coupled with the implication that their appearances changed a bit after the fall- Mammon’s halo and wings turning black while he’s teaching humans to excavate gold, Asmodeus’s eyes being different in her flashbacks with Sarah, compared to her introduction, and changing back at the end of Part 4, after she gets some closure regarding Sarah.

So, it’s maybe we’ll get something similar: outer appearances reflecting and/or contrasting the inner world of a character)

4. What the hell is up with Aleksandra?

This is my craziest theory yet (crazier than my upcoming Mikhail and/or Barbara= Lucifer, because I think I have more arguments for that one), but here we go: I think Aleksandra might have a significant role in this arc. At best, she’ll serve as a foil towards the Lord of Sloth. At worst, she’ll be revealed to be him (or a part of him. like I said at the beginning of this post, Demon Lords can do some weird shit).

So, there are a few characteristics that caught my attention.

I love Aleksandra’s freckles. But one interesting thing about freckles is that there used to be a superstition about them being the witch’s mark/the Devil’s mark.

Why is that relevant?

Well, most of the demons seem to be left-handed. And there was also a superstition about the left-hand being connected to witches/demons. In scenes where Imuri is painting or eating, she’s doing with her left hand. Beelzebub can use both hands well, but when he’s “dinning” with Leah or when he first strikes at Mr. Priest he favors his left hand. Mammon’s rings are on his left hand too.

Surely, the fact that she’s the only freckled character (and Mikhail brings attention to this too- to insult her, the asshole), could be intentional?

The fact that she’s described as a shut-in by Mikhail is interesting too, as well as the fact that she’s often seen in a library and apparently created that weird wristband…

Belphegor is, according to Plancy’s Dictionnaire Infernal, both associated with inventions and capable of taking the form of a “beautiful woman”.

Aleksandra fits the former. The later can be discussed, but since I argued that the concept of ugliness and beauty will be key to the next to arcs, I think it’d be interesting that her cutesy and meek appearance and demeanor (but maybe not conventionally attractive?) contrasts with her apparently insolent (“I can’t stand meetings with idiots”) personality.

She also, curiously enough, did not appear in Heisenberg’s little drawing of the Church’s divisions. Which was odd to me, because everyone else who attended the meeting in chapter 19 was there.

It could be that she doesn’t have a side, even unofficially. And again, I bring up the fact that Belphegor has a story where he doesn’t join any side in the “War against Heaven”, which is what fucks him over.

So, I do think there’s a connection to be considered.

We don’t know how literal possession works. We only saw a brief window on Satan possessing Abbot Nicholas’ body to relay the message. And it apparently damaged his health? Physical and/or mental? It was very obvious too, but we don’t know if they can lay dormant. It’s also worth noting that Satan did that from Hell, so I assume a Demon Lord can still possess someone even if they have another form somewhere else?

And as for why would Belphegor disguise himself as a woman, despite his misogyny?

Well, we saw that Asmodeus was apparently role playing as Sarah in the first chapter (or something similar) and her disguise Aria also had similarities to Sarah (the two-toned hair, similar to Sarah’s hair in the moonlight, the constant “hands behind back” body language). It’s… part of how she copes, I think?

Anyway, I think it’d be funny if Belphegor apparently did the same, in the case he had a wife who broke his heart.

But that’s the craziest version of my theory. I also considered the possibility of her being real but being possessed by the Lord of Sloth like Mr. Priest (since the Demon Lord does possess women in the Machiavelli novel). Her being possessed would also make for an interesting parallel for the Asmodeus/Aria situation.

Realistically speaking, I think that, at very least, she’ll be a relevant character in the Sloth arc.

#troperrific talks #ekuoto tag #friendly reminder that characters can and do lie #that they can be wrong or even play 'roles'#taking everything every character says at face value and not trying to read beneath the lines #or even remember what they said earlier and how they acted #can really mess with your interpretation #this is about all the characters btw #long post #as usual just my opinion on things #watch me be wrong abt everything lol #make the exorcist fall in love

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monsterfuxkermarya · 1 month

Text

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman.

And I, unfortunately, am a lot like the type o-negative song, simply titled “Christian woman”. I will never be like the nuns at my church or the dedicated mother doting on her children, either.

I give into temptation. I lust and give into the sins of the flesh. I beg to serve and be served sexually. I want to be on my back or knees.

But, Christ, oh Corpus Christi. The purest lamb, son of god and carpenter.

I bow my head in shame when I see someone pray. I wonder what it’s like not to struggle with your religion. I sob violently when I pray, ashamed of who I’ve become. I know the child I used to be is wondering where I went wrong, why I no longer try to believe. I cry for her when I pray.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I’ve failed to meet so many expectations put upon me.

I curse like a sailor. I steal alcohol occasionally. I’ve gotten high. I masturbate at least three times a week. I skip church. I refuse to kiss and venerate the cross or priest, not out of disrespect, but shame and loss of belief. I don’t venerate the icon and I refuse to go to confession. I can’t look at an icon without my eyes welling up with tears in shame. When I was forced to go to church I was told I had to take communion, even if i hadn’t prepared or fasted. I felt so ashamed that I took your body and blood, knowing I had in no way prepared for it.

I was once the lamb covered in mud because time and time again I ran away from the herd and got stuck in a bush of thorns. My once beautiful coat is muddied. My skin is bruised and cut. My soul is tainted.

I can only hope that my sins will be washed away at the pearly gates. My coat will sparkle a fresh white, my bruises and cuts gone, my soul pure.

Because as I am no lamb anymore. I am the goat. The devils creature. My eyes have turned into slits because I judge people. I have grown horns to defend myself. My coat is so matted it becomes thin and bristly. My tail is jagged and torn.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I, unfortunately, pray for forgiveness every Sunday night. The same night I usually find my fingers knuckle deep in my virgin sex.

I beg to be saved, to be cleansed by the holiest of holy water. I grip my prayer rope tightly and beg for this round of Our Father’s to be the one I stick to. I weep every time I go to confession, so ashamed of the sins I’ve committed.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. But Jesus would still wash my feet, right?

I still have a favorite set of Bible verses I say to myself when I’m scared. The small child in me repeats them when the sky lights up with thunder and lightning in the dead of night. Joshua 1:9 and Ephesians 2:8-10 repeat every time I have to do something I’m scared to do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I feel weak when I can’t continue my fasts because I get light headed and nauseous on my period.

I feel so unclean and ashamed of my period, even though it is a miracle and a blessing to be so healthy. I cry when my cramps hit, not only because of pain, but shame, knowing our savior went through so much more to save us. I writhe in pain for hours, hoping my suffering will make up for my sins.

My suffering will never make up for my sins. It will never make up for the people I’ve hurt and driven away. It will never make up for all the times I pushed Lord Christ away.

My back aches. My head pounds. My throat is dry and my eyes strain. My feet are sore. I know that if I were to come back to the light, be the lamb once again, my pain and suffering would subside. I could once again bask in the healing light of the Lord. But I feel as if I’m too far gone. My body has contorted into that of a goat, devilish and angry. I must defend myself as I have no God to guide me anymore. I strayed too far from his light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I can barely look Father John in the eyes.

He’s been my priest since I was a kid, I love him dearly. But I can’t even fathom telling him these thoughts. Having a person I’ve known since I was a kid know my struggles. I’m scared he’d bash me for falling so far from the light.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. I fear the day that lent starts. It’s marked on my calendar with a question mark. March 18, 2024: lent starts?

It’s not a question because I don’t know when it starts, I’ve been aware since the beginning of the year. It’s a question because Am I Gonna Participate This Year? Will I go to vespers, will I go to confession, will I read the gospels, will I attend the matins services, will I fast, will I? Will I?

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And I know all my actions and words cast shame upon my family.

My dad’s side of the family is from Greece. My grandma, God rest her soul, was a devout Greek Orthodox Christian. I know the farther I fall from my faith the more shame I put upon her and all her family before her.

My mom converted to marry my dad in the Orthodox Church. I wonder if she struggled with her faith as much as I do.

I am, unfortunately, a Christian woman. And my church is unfortunately my second home.

And I am estranged from my second home.

It brings me so much guilt and pain to step into my church, but the second I smell the incense and the chanting hits my ears I know I am home. The incense is infused with rose, the chanting in soft Greek and Arabic. I used to be able to chant with them fluently as a kid. I used to ask my dad what certain geek words meant. He’d spend hours explaining it if he had the time back then.

Oh, and the theotokos, the bearer of god, mother of the savior. I was so infatuated with you. I’d draw your icon in my sketchbook. I’d talk to you like you were my own mom as I waited to confess alone. I can’t imagine the pain you went through when you saw your son get nailed to the cross.

I weep in front of your icon now. I look at you and oh holy Jesus the Christ and weep. I have fallen so far you look like tiny dots of light from where I lay in the darkness.

I used to walk around the church in circles, looking at each and every icon. The portraits of saints, the depictions of the holy gospels, the last supper, Christ raising from the dead, Lazarus raising from the dead. I used to ask Father John who a certain saint was if their icon was really unique and look them up later.

I miss Lazarus Saturday and eating Lazarakia with my brother. I miss eating dolmas and plain rice as potluck instead of the usual feast because it was lent. I miss breaking the fast at three in the morning because that’s when the service finally ended when it started at 10:30 PM. I miss playing tsougrisma with my family. I miss screaming “Alithos anesti!” With the congregation. I miss trying to respond “indeed he has risen!” in as many languages as possible on Easter Sunday.

Because I am no longer a fortunate Christian woman. I am an unfortunate Christian woman.

And I long to go to church and not question the teachings.

And I long to make palm crosses with my mom and her friends.

And I long to read at the matins services and chant in the choir.

And I long to breathe in the incense and leave smelling like it.

And I long to be held in the warm and loving embrace of our Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.

And I long to say, “forgive me a sinner”, to be met with a soft hug and the loving response, “God forgives and I forgive” at forgiveness Sunday.

Forgive me a sinner, for I am an unfortunate Christian woman. I have sinned against thee.

#god #religion #tw religious themes #vent post #personal vent #slam poetry #maybe idk #monster fuxker marya #ex religious #religious guilt #yes it’s not smut #yes this is serious #im so sorry if you find out this way #orthodox christianity

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the-travelling-witch · 1 year

Text

𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄!

love/healing potions= fluff, antidotes= comfort, poisons= angst, aphrodisiacs= smut, felix felicis= shitposts/ edits, custom potions= my oc; ༊*·˚= personal favourite

Love Potions:

Gamer Boyfriend: Leviathan || 890 || Drabble

⇢ ˗ˏˋ levi ࿐ྂ

Character Class: Comfort Gamer Profile: Levi understands how exhausting life can be, especially in this household. So he’s really glad you can find comfort in bingeing anime or TSL and playing games with him for however long you want. Still, Levi’s convinced you’re some kind of angel for listening to his long-winded ramblings and if you ask him literally anything about the plot or characters he has half a mind to marry you right then and there.

Kiss me more || 2k || Multi-Character || ༊*·˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ demon brothers + barbatos ⋆ˎˊ˗

summary: the types of kisses the demons like to give and receive warnings: i totally never play favourites ever

Hold me close || 1.1k || Multi-Character

⇢ ˗ˏˋ mammon, belphie, barbatos, dantalion, valefar ⋆ˎˊ˗

summary: just some short and sweet cuddling headcanons warnings: only me playing favourites again ♡ + one teeny tiny allusion to lesson 16

Hollysm: Day Two [Event] || 940 || Drabble

⇢ ˗ˏˋ barbatos ࿐ྂ

event prompt: baking

Nighttime Routine Drabble || 800 || Drabble || ༊*·˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ mammon ࿐ྂ

summary: a pouty demon has become part of your nighttime routine warnings: fluff with mentions of insecurities (skin/appearance related)

Catherine Crossover || Blurb/ Hc

⇢ ˗ˏˋ ft. demon brothers but more so belphie ࿐ྂ

Antidotes:

Bloody Hell || 3.3k || Multi-Character || ༊*·˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ mammon, belphegor, barbatos ⋆ˎˊ˗

summary: having your period is already stressful enough and being in the devildom doesn't make it any better; luckily, these demons are here to help warnings: period-having reader (gn pronouns), blood, mild cramps

Poisons:

⇢ ˗ˏˋ no potions brewed yet ࿐ྂ

Aphrodisiacs: [Nsfw, minors dni]

Gamer Boyfriend: Leviathan [NSFW] || 3k || One-Shot

⇢ ˗ˏˋ levi ࿐ྂ

Stats: nsfw/ minors dni, jealous/ possessive! levi, cream pies, monster/tail fucking, mean dom! levi, levi with two cocks, degradation/ name calling, marking, double penetration, unprotected sex (stay safe everyone!), hint of/ alllusion to exhibitionism towards the end Profile: It’s not fair! Why do his stupid brothers get to hog your attention all the time? He’ll make sure you’ll pay attention to him and only him. You’re not leaving his room for quite a while; there’s lots of fun stuff Levi wants to try with you. And when you do limp out of his room, his brothers will certainly get the message.

Sinful Indulgence || 5.8k || One-Shot || ༊*·˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ asmo ࿐ྂ

summary: losing your virginity can be daunting, even more so when you’re dating the avatar of lust; luckily, asmo is only interested in making this as comfortable for you as possible warnings: nsfw/ minors dni, slightly angsty (insecurities) but with comfort, porn with a hint of plot, loss of virginity, corruption kink, use of toys (vibrator), fingering, asmo being a demon+ demon form! asmo, soft!asmo, consent king asmo, cream pie/ unprotected sex, use of petnames (sweetheart, darling, love, hon/honey), marking

A tricky treat || 5.7k || One-Shot

⇢ ˗ˏˋ dragon! barbatos ࿐ྂ

summary: the plan was to spend a chill movie night at the castle but when was the last time anything went according to plan in the devildom? warnings: nsfw/ minors dni, dragon! barbatos, dom! barbs , aphrodisiac spit (idc if i made it up, deal with it), double penetration, two cocks, monster + tail fucking, breeding kink, oviposition, cream pie, pool sex, marking, a little bit of possessiveness (as a treat)

Felix Felicis:

Exchange Student Diaries ༊*·˚

The Devil Demon Wears Prada ༊*·˚

Behold, The Avatar of Pride

Belphie NB icons/pngs

Custom Potions:

Dantalion, Owner of Majolish ༊*·˚

Valefar, Casino Owner ༊*·˚

Stolas, Popular Streamer ༊*·˚

if you like my content, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated ♡

➺ send in an ask to be added to or removed from my tag list

#masterlist #obey me masterlist

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rubberduckyrye · 25 days

Note

Oh because of the scaradotter fic or the v3 fic

Okay gonna go into more detail about these dark fics so under the cut they go!

Note though: the way I see both of these fics is that if I were to write them, they would be horror. Keep that in mind for the V3 fic especially dnasjdnsjak

The DottoScara fic is on my to-do list, but I have to be in a VERY specific mood for that dsnfkjnsfjkds. To clarify: the fic is currently called "Diablo", and it explores Scaramouche's live from the very beginning of his life, through his "Three betrayals," through the meat of the fic (Dottore torturing him via experimentation) and up until his final confrontation with the Traveler where he fights in the big robot. The main reason it's DottoScara is because the meat of the fic will explore the potential tortures Scaramouche faced under Dottore. AKA It's torture porn. Also something something you could argue that any and all vivisections Scaramouche endures can be allegories to being sexually abused something something invading the body in a way that is a very unique experience something something not intended but I've definitely written Wrenn in RPs where he feels violated in his healing verses when he thinks of the vivisections so there's that?

Anyway. The V3 Darkfic. Um. Ho boy. This one might get people screaming at me.

(I say, literally describing that Scaramouche endures Vivisections... But the themes of the V3 fic are.... things people really love to harass people about. Ah. Oh well, Antis, eat your hearts out.)

The V3 fic.... Listen, it didn't start off as a darkfic but boy did it go there real fast. I don't even know if I want to write this one. But I'll tell you the concept for it--the idea is when there are 14 students left, the Motive Monokuma and the Monokubs give them is a collar around their necks and the Seven Deadly Sins. The collars inject a chemical that is supposed to make their respective hosts more and more likely to enact their respective sins, and there are two of each sin. Three doses from the collar will make the student go into a frenzy if they've been resisting their sin for the previous 2 doses.

Sounds pretty interesting--until you think of the consequences of that and the sin of Lust specifically. It accidentally went from "interesting them and motive" to "Oh this is literally 'Fuck or Die' combined with 'Sex Pollen'." fsdnjfjkfnsdk

Definitely not intentional on my part. Anyway guess what two "I'd rather die than be vulnerable with someone, especially if forced into intimacy" boys got the Lust Collars. If you guessed Oumota you'd be right.

Since I think the concept of being forced into lust is a very horrifying situation, I was drawn to the idea of writing it from Kaito's perspective and writing down the horrors from his perspective. The fact that him and Kokichi keep blacking out on the third dose does not Help his imagination. I don't think I'd write any of the sex scenes (been there, done that with "A Little Out of Order", not sure if I really wanna do smut again) but I think the blackouts/reading Kaito slip from coherent consciousness into darkness make it all the more horrifying. Just, they're both drugged and black out, who knows what could have happened to either of them when they black out. They both hate this.

I think at some point Kokichi concocts the idea of killing himself just to make the motive end for everyone, but also because he gets to be at his breaking point because. Well. You know. Pretty sure Kaito has to stop him.

I do know Miu gets a wrath collar and ends up breaking a lot of shit in her lab on dose 3. That or she beats up Kokichi. Probably the latter because you know. That or sloth if only because I can't tell which sin would make her feel her worst. It's about the despair, everyone!

This idea of far less plotted out though because I don't really know what to do with it, let alone do I even really want to do anything with it. Like I don't know how the motive ends, if there's a murder, if the ship can even really become a true ship after that kind of trauma, ectect. So for now it's staying as a plot bunny in my head that I occasionally remember and ponder on.

Anyway. Ehe. if I start getting hate anons I'm closing my ask box immediately. Juuust saying.

#Not tagging fandoms because I don't want randos harassing me for darkfic plot bunnies #but:#Vivisection mention tw #Dubcon mention tw #torture mention tw #... Huh that about covers it I think actually #Ask to tag?

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bella-donna-balle-rina · 8 months

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I’ve been prompted to write the world a love letter, I suppose. So what better place than tumblr?

Dearest Everything,

Where else lives the human experience? What’s it comprised of? Are we mere ants amoung a spinning god, pillaging and lusting for something atop the closest we’ll come to creation?

You spin what can only seem to me, endlessly. It will be my forever, until I rid this life. Comprised of both all I am, and everything I could never be.

Holding the dusts and mementos of every second of your own existence.

Oh the room you hold for me, for us, for all. And oh the grief we give you. What source could withstand the sentence of harboring humanity and all of its sins, and still offer all of itself?

Your crust is like the communion bread. Broken and split and shared and divine flesh. The truest flesh of god.

The mother of all that I could know in this realm. My mother. My father. My lover. Me. We are but divisions of you, far too microscopic to be anything more than cells.

And yet, this love and fascination I have for your genius complexities. The grand design of all that we have taken and referenced over and over, blindly and intentionally in our being.

How your patterns show themselves in a different way, never repeated again. Ripples with different names. Infinity and its infinite representations.

And so, to my everything, and everything before and after me…I‘ll never know how you came to be. How you got here. I may never know how you end. How our celestial star will absorb your every fragment. Why you hurt us. Why you heal us. Why you nourish us. Why you show us. Why. I may never know.

But I know, that the answer will probably be some grand earthly equivalent to our closest idea.

Love.

And you’ve taught all of us it.

Gave us room to act it out. To play with it.

To leave desolation where it was without.

The ability to change.

The ability to not be a star, but the platform in which millions can be seen.

#Spotify

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ave-immaculata · 2 years

Note

Tinycatholic, I am fighting hard against demons of lust. Do you know any prayers I could say before going to bed so that the good Lord may aid me? This is an addiction I struggle with. I feel so disgusting and ashamed. May you also keep me in your prayers?

I'm sorry I didn't answer this last night!! praying for you; these are some of my favourites.

---

Into thy hands, Mary, I commend my body and my soul. I ask thee to provide for them and to protect them. I ask thee to protect them from the evil one. I ask thee enlighten my mind, strengthen my will, and refrain my appetites by grace. Our Lady and St. Michael, call down from Heaven the legions of angels under your command to protect me; I ask of thee all the things I ask of my Guardian Angel. My guardian angel, under thy intellectual and volitional protection I place my body. I ask thee to illumine my mind and refrain my appetites. I ask thee to strengthen my cogitative power, my memory and my imagination. Help me to remember the things I should and not remember the things I should not. Help me to associate the things I should and not to associate the things I should not. Give me good clear images in my imagination. I ask thee to drive away all the demons that might affect me while I sleep (or throughout the course of the day). (Help me to sleep and, if thou should deem it prudent, direct my dreams. Help me to arise refreshed). Amen.

---

Holy Father, omnipotent and merciful God, in the name of Jesus Christ and through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, send Your Holy Spirit upon me; may the Spirit of the Lord descend upon me, mold me, form me, fill me, hear me, use me, heal me, cast out from me all the forces of evil, annihilate them, destroy them, so that I may be well and do good. Cast out from me all the spells, sorcery, black magic, black masses, evil eye, ties, curses, diabolical infestation, diabolical possession, diabolical obsession, all that is evil; sin, envy, jealousy, perfidy, discord, impurity, infatuation; physical, psychic, moral, spiritual, and diabolic illnesses. Burn all of these evils in hell, so that they will never again touch me or any other creature in the world. In the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, I order and command all unclean spirits, all the presences that molest me, to leave me immediately, to leave me definitely, and, chained by St. Michael the Archangel, by St. Gabriel, by St. Raphael, by my guardian angel, crushed under the heel of the Most Holy Immaculate Virgin, to go into the eternal abyss. Give me, O Father, much faith, joy, health, peace, and all the graces that I need. Lord Jesus, may Your most Precious Blood be upon me. Amen.

---

Lord Jesus Christ let your Precious Blood flowing from Thy wounded Heart cover me, my cogitative power, memory, imagination, common sense power, sensitive appetites, my sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell, (and any part of your body they are affecting) driving the demons to the foot of thy Cross where they may be judged by Thee. In the name of the Father, the Son + and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

#❤️❤️ YOU are not shameful or disgusting #never tire of resting in the mercy of God #youre His beloved child ❣️

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technogeist1890 · 1 year

Text

What if I said I'd do it again?

What if I said that I didn't care?

What if I told them I had no remorse?

Would they finally tell me that it was my fault?

Would they finally blame me for what I did?

Would they finally give me what I think I deserve?

Sure, I made a mistake.

And they say mistakes don't get punished, they only get corrected.

But what about mistakes that get made every day, over and over? Thoughts that clutter my head every time I see him?

My friends tell me he's at fault. Maybe that's true. But when the knight raises his sword and shield, it's because the dragon flashed her wicked teeth and rained hellfire over the land.

Some say it's only the dragon's nature to roar and beat her wings when the arrows hit her scales. But the dragon should learn to control her own flames, lest she be consumed in the inferno.

The sight of armor makes the dragon's soul sing, her body tremble with anticipation instead of fear. She welcomes the danger with open arms, despite knowing that the touch in those hands is more likely to kill than heal.

Yes, I regret how I treated him. I wasn't very nice. But if I had to do it all again, just for a fraction of a chance that it might end differently...I would. Just for the smallest sliver of possibility that I could do something, say something neat enough to make him look at me with that soft little grin on his face, or even just that subtle squint to his eyes that means he found me amusing for half a second.

It's kinda sad, honestly. One of the few people who's been truly, altruistically kind to me, and all I want is to be able to make him laugh one more time. Not "get him to be my friend", not "make him fall in love with me" (pfft, as if), but just..."I want to make him laugh". As if my happiness continges on the happiness of one man who is trying his best to forget about me. Because no matter how hard I try not to, sometimes my friends ask me, "What're you smiling at?" and I have to pretend I read a funny meme or reacted to something they said. Otherwise they'd get very slightly perturbed with me; the truth is, I saw him across the room, smiling at something his buddies said (or smiling in general, that devil-may-care grin seems to be a default expression of his), and I couldn't help smiling in return. I'm a very empathetic person, much as I try not to show it. If someone I care about is happy, I'm probably going to be some version of happy too...unless it's him. I'll be grinning like a lovesick idiot for about two seconds before realizing I shouldn't be and launching into an intense round of self-flagellation. Lust is a sin, after all, that's what the pastor says.

But good God in heaven, sometimes I look at his hair and want to run my fingers through it, push it back from his face so I can better see his eyes. I look at those hands and wonder what they'd feel like cradling my face, thumbs brushing across my cheekbones. I hug myself, pretending it's his arms I'm wrapped up in. I've said before I like taller guys because they could ostensibly rest their chin on top of my head when they hug me...makes me feel safe, like being wrapped in a blanket. He'd be so gentle with me, I know he would. Roughness doesn't seem to fit him.

I've had dreams where we're both on a bus trip (with the "misfortune" to be sat next to each other), and when I fall asleep with my head against the window, he pulls me against his side and puts my head on his shoulder. When I ask him about it, he just grunts something about not wanting me to hurt myself.

Other times, I dream he stops me outside of class, saying he really wants to ask me if I'm okay, but didn't want to be rude. I try to say I'm fine, but the tears he eventually catches and rubs away with his sleeve say otherwise. I cry into his shirt, feeling his hand on the back of my head as he shushes me, swaying me back and forth in his arms.

Another dream, a highly detailed one at that, has us both being on a film crew, and me injuring my leg pretty badly. We're miles away from civilization and the grip truck due to filming on a remote location, so the crew have to take turns lugging the gear and me, after my insisting I can walk myself proves to be little more than overconfident bluster. They're all very careful not to drop me, but he is always the gentlest of the bunch, constantly asking if I'm all right and making sure I drink water.

When we have to camp in the urban wilderness, my leg starts throbbing worse and worse due to some nasty cuts in it. Our director looks at it and determines the wound will have to be cauterized in order to avoid infection or exsanguination. I say someone might have to hold me down, as I don't trust my ability to hold still in the face of intense pain. My knight, gallant soul that he is, offers his belt for me to bite down on. While our leader heats up the knife, I sit down in front of my knight, my back to his chest and his arms around my torso, pinning my arms down. Two other members of the crew hold my legs, and my knight tells me to squeeze his hand when the pain gets really bad. I protest; I nearly broke my mother's fingers in a similar situation once, and I don't want to hurt him. He only smiles and says he can take it.

I scream against the belt when the knife touches my flesh, searing the wounds closed. My head thrashes about for a brief moment before my knight covers my eyes, which calms me enough for our director to finish cauterizing the wounds and bandage them as best he can. All the while my knight whispers soothing words into my ear, petting back my hair as he does. ~You're doing so well, little one, you're so brave, I'm so proud of you. Shh, it's almost done. I've got you. I won't let you go. There, see? It's over. You made it through, you did such a good job. Take a deep breath, have some water. The worst part is over.~ Him calling me "little one" is somewhat factually inaccurate; he's taller than me, while I'm likely older than him by a year or two, but it's comforting nonetheless. My parents never used that term when comforting me, anyway.

When it's time to bed down for the night, I get worried. My sleep apnea is nowhere near as severe as it once was, but I have to sleep on my side to avoid suffocating. Normally, I would use special pillows to achieve this, but we're in the wilderness, that's not gonna work here. So I sit by the campfire until the inevitability of my knight asking why I'm still awake. When I tell him, he laughs, but not at me. He says, "Oh, that's easy, just stay with me." I worry about making things awkward, but he ruffles my hair, assuring me he doesn't feel awkward about it at all. I end up finding out what it's like to be the little spoon...and no, before you ask, nothing explicit happens. The most intimacy that occurs is him meshing his fingers with mine when he thinks I've fallen asleep.

The next morning, there's some requisite ribbing from our crewmates before we pack up and move on. My leg hurts throughout the day, and although I insist on trying to walk, my knight shuts that down pretty quickly. The next night is much the same; we fall asleep next to each other, I wake up to him holding me, our crewmates tease us mercilessly, we keep moving.

One evening, we unpack and have dinner, only to get an unwelcome visitor in the form of a bear. Strangely enough, only my sleeping bag gets destroyed, leading to the Tall Man suggesting, eyebrows waggling, that Jay and I will have to share a sleeping bag now. Both of us tell him to shut up.

However, once night falls and everyone else goes to bed, Jay and I have to face the reality of the situation. Both of us hash out the fact that no shenanigans will occur and all clothes will remain on. We head to bed, me being fully embarrassed as hell, and he asks if I'm okay. I tell him I'm not, and when he asks why, I take a deep breath and admit I've managed to fall very deeply in love with him over the course of the journey.

He kinda hesitates for a moment, then smiles that lopsided little smile of his.

And then, in the softest voice ever, face turning a little red, he asks if he can kiss me.

I really do love that dream.

My other favorite is the one where I go to the Starbucks on campus, only for the barista to smirk at me and say "the young man at the corner table ordered your usual," while jerking her head in his direction. Sure enough, when I approach the table, he proffers a venti Mango Dragonfruit Refresher and a cinnamon roll. My favorite. I ask him how he knew what to order, and he says, "All I had to do was ask about a girl in black with bright red hair. They know your usual by now," with that signature grin and a light chuckle. I ask him why he's there and what he wants, and he says, "I just want to talk". "Talk" ends up meaning an hours-long conversation which lasts up to him walking me back to my dorm in the rapidly-fading light. I remark on the beauty of the sunset; he says he can think of something just as beautiful. I look up at him to ask what he means, already predicting the response, and I feel so happy when I see the warmth in his eyes, the fond smile on his lips. Rubbing the back of his neck and looking away for a moment, he asks if he can kiss me 'good night', even if it isn't night yet.

There's others besides that, more disjointed little moments than cohesive events.

There was the time we had a picnic at night under a tree in a meadow. The sky was Van Gogh's Starry Night.

There was the time (many times) where he's caught me crying (because of course) and instead of walking away like I half expect him to after what happened last time, he sits down beside me and pulls me close, draping an arm over my shoulders. C'mere, he murmurs in that deep voice of his, leaning his forehead into the side of my head. He says that a lot in my dreams, that one simple c'mere. I'm not sure why I like his voice so much, I just do. Sometimes I've imagined him getting jokingly exasperated with my little idiosyncrasies, enough to use my full name. He shakes his head at me with a sideways smile. Samantha, Samantha, Samantha, what am I going to do with you? Normally I hate it when people use my full name, makes me feel like I'm in trouble, but on him? When he says it through a smile and pairs it with a large hand smoothing back my hair? I could live with that.

There's another thing: my hair. I don't usually like people touching it, outside of my mother being affectionate or the hairdresser working her magic. (On very rare occasions, if it was a genuine and polite request born out of admiration and curiosity, I would allow a child to touch my hair.) In the last couple years I've expanded that circle somewhat, mainly to my best friend who developed a habit of petting the side of my head when he hugged me.

But in my dreams, when my knight reaches over and tucks a strand behind my ear, my stomach flutters. It's such a tender gesture, sometimes I cry. Which usually leads to another hug.

Ah, nicknames...obviously I call him 'my knight'. Because that's what he is, my knight, my hero. Once, on the set of that freshman film, he asked me to hold his helmet for him while he took a break for water, and I was eager to please...Now he'll think I'm useful to have around, I thought. I thought I made a good squire at that point.

So, yeah, I call him my knight. In my head, I suppose he's overheard me making parallels to old fairy tales, and how I've rarely cast myself as anything but the villain. So he rarely, if ever, calls me his princess or his lady or anything like that.

He calls me his dragon. It's meant to be a testament to my strength, whispered against my temple in a stressful moment or breathed through a fond smile, him resting his head on his hand as he watches me.

In another dream, more recent considering it's set after he left, I'm sitting with my friends and feeling a little down because, as has been stated, I miss him. As I'm trying to pay attention to what my friends are saying, I feel a hand on my shoulder for a brief moment. I look behind me, and he's there, hands in his pockets, a slight smile on his face. I call his name, almost unsure I'm seeing properly, even in my dreams. (I'm always aware I'm dreaming, which makes waking up from these all the more bitter.) He grins, nods, looks down at the ground then back up at me through his bangs. He's always wearing the same black CoryxKenshin hoodie in this dream, with the sleeves half-rolled up.

And then, because I'm far more bold in dreams than I am in real life, I hug him, nearly knocking him over as I bury my face in his chest. He chuckles, resting a hand on the back of my head, rocking me back and forth for a few moments.

--Awww, did you miss me?

Uh-huh.

There's a pause here; I just listen to his heartbeat and the sound of his breathing, clench my hands in the back of his hoodie as if I'm afraid he'll turn to dust if I let go.

I thought you left, I say, trying not to sound too accusatory. It's not his fault, after all. He hums softly, continuing to hold me.

--I know. He pauses, as if unsure what to say next. --But that other school was missing something, something this place has.

What's that? I ask, looking up at him. He grins, his eyes bright.

--You, he answers, cradling my cheek in his hand.

You came back just for me?

--Of course. Where would the knight be without his dragon? His eyes start doing that crinkly thing I always loved, and he brushes his thumb across my cheek. In spite of myself, I let out a little squeal, hugging him again. This one doesn't end with a kiss (after all, there's people around).

Other times, he's not so happy. His voice cracks when he calls my name, and when he hugs me, I can feel the strain in his shoulders as he's holding back tears.

--I'm sorry, he chokes out, his voice muffled in the shoulder of my jacket. I'm so sorry.

Shhh, I say, holding him. I'm tempted to stroke his hair, rub his back, something, but I don't want to overstep myself. So I just hold him. It's all right. I've got you.

--No it's not. Realizing people are starting to stare at us, I lead him back to the couch I was sitting on and beckon him to sit with me. --I shouldn't have left. I thought going someplace else would help, but it didn't. I didn't give you enough of a chance. My friends were talking crap and I paid too much attention to it.

Hey, hey now. Peer pressure is a hell of a drug, my guy. They were your friends, who else were you going to listen to? Against my better judgment, I reach up and wipe away a tear sliding down his cheek. He blinks, looking stunned.

--You don't...you don't hate me for it? he asks, voice barely above a whisper. I can't take it anymore, I hug him again, this time resting a hand on the back of his head.

Oh, you sweet boy, I say, resting my chin on his shoulder. I never blamed you for a second. None of what happened back then was your fault. We're both young, you and I. We're gonna make mistakes like that. Emotions are messy, we're not gonna react the best way to them every single time. I know I don't. So no, I don't hate you. Never have, never will.

~~~~~~~~~~

Last night, I had a new dream, a happy one. We were at this museum, sitting on a bench in front of a statue and trying to observe it for a paper we had to write. So we were bouncing observations back and forth, like what material it was made of, what style it was in, y'know, real snobby stuff like that. He says something to the effect of, --This guy kinda reminds me of having to read The Iliad in high school. He kinda looks like an Achilles.

And I say, Huh, that's funny. I was thinking he reminded me of this guy I kinda like.

Cue a raised eyebrow. --Oh? Someone from school?

Mhm. He chuckles, shaking his head at me.

--I knew you had a heart in there somewhere, he teases, nudging my shoulder. I rub the back of my neck, before I can feel my face flushing as he leans over and asks, --So, is he cute?

Jay!

--I'm just wondering! I pause, unable to stifle a grin.

Oh, he's so cute, I say, keeping my eyes on the statue for now. In fact, dare I say it, he's pretty.

--Pretty what? he asks, wrinkling his nose.

Just pretty, I say, smiling. The prettiest boy in the world. See, to my thinking, "pretty", "cute" and "hot" aren't on a spectrum, they're part of a Venn diagram. Sensing he's getting confused, I pull out my notebook and start drawing a diagram. Let's use my guy as an example. Another thing I've noticed is that "pretty" and "cute" are more things you are, while "hot" applies more to things you do. That make sense?

--So far, he says, leaning over to look at the paper, his fringe falling across his eyes for a moment before he brushes it back again.

Okay, good. So, one thing we could put in the pretty category is the fact that he has beautiful eyes. Y'know, he's got those magical hazel eyes that never seem to be the same color every time. Sometimes they're blue, sometimes they're brown, sometimes they're green. And when they catch the sunlight? Hoo boy. They light up like nobody's business. That bridges over to something that goes in the cute circle, which is the crinkly thing his eyes do when he smiles.

--Like laugh lines? Crow's feet? he asks.

Huh-uh, more like his eyes scrunch up into little crescent moon shapes when he's happy or finds something funny. He has this little shoulder shake thing he does when he laughs, which is...oh, Lord, it's sweet. It's so sweet. Makes me wanna squeal every time I see it.

--What about the hot circle?

Ah, now there's where we get more into things he does as opposed to things that are just inherent to him, I say, scribbling furiously. Mainly, it's the way he wears hoodies, with the sleeves rolled up so his forearms are showing. He's got nice muscular forearms. Not super bulgy, like the Rock, but just lean muscle. Oh, and his hands. He's got big hands, strong hands. Hands that could probably snap me in half.

--He sounds kinda scary, not gonna lie, he says, a hint of skepticism in his voice.

See, but that's the beauty of him. He could snap me in half if he wanted to, but I know for a fact he wouldn't. He's too good.

--Too good, huh? He tilts his head, giving me that affectionate side-eye I've always loved. And what makes him so good?

He's kind, I say. So unbelievably kind. I can remember multiple occasions where he's gone out of his way to look after me. I mean, he's made sure I was all right after I injured myself, he's checked on me when he saw me sitting on the floor crying... A flicker of recognition crosses his face for a split second. He's just...a good man. A very good man. He'll make some girl very happy one day.

--Some girl...but not you? He looks sympathetic.

Oh, goodness, no, I think he's a little too far out of my league, I say, laughing. A little too good, if you know what I'm saying. He frowns, resting a hand on my shoulder.

--You deserve someone good, he says, looking me deep in the eyes. --Someone who will sweep you off your feet and make you feel like you're the most beautiful girl in the world. Every girl deserves that.

See, this is why I say you're out of my league, Jay, I say, shaking my head with a sad smile. He pauses, blinking a couple times.

--...wait, what? He sits up a little straighter, eyes suddenly widening. --Oh. Oh, my God. He hesitates for a moment before pointing to himself and saying in the smallest voice, --Me? You love...me? I nod.

For a very long time. I'm caught off guard as he hugs me, resting his head against mine.

--And my friends said you could never feel that way about me, he says, and I can hear the disbelieving grin in his voice.

Jay, we've established this, your friends don't know shit. He laughs, pulling back from the hug, eyes shining as he looks at me. All of a sudden, his cheeks dust a deep pink, and he looks to the side, mumbling something I can't quite make out. What did you say?

--I um...would it be okay if...can I kiss you? he blurts out, making eye contact again. He looks a little apprehensive, as if he's worried I'm going to say no. I smile, leaning in and kissing his cheek.

Of course you can, sweet boy.

#guy problems #vent post #my writing

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