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#Looking on the brightside and finding moments of joy and connection is basically my only weapon too and it just
dont-offend-the-bees
·
2 years
Text
O o o f should not have showed the folks everything everywhere all at once
#One of those classic 'puts piece of media that basically represents my heart and soul and innermost feelings in someone's hands' things
#I did think that they wouldn't be a fan of how Much it is but they loved swiss army man and I thought they'd appreciate the sentiment
#But mum stopped paying attention immediately bc I'm pretty sure she's got sight issues she won't address and her eyes glanced off the subs
#And dad enjoyed it a bit more but still had sort of a mildly disapproving face on for a lot of it
#And idk ten years ago mum and I would've discussed a movie like that all night
#Even if she didn't care for how it was done we would've chatted about the themes for hours
#But she just.... Didn't really care
#Or get it
#Bc she doesn't have the memory/attention to absorb something with so much going on anymore
#And always misinterprets if you try and bring up something that's on your mind
#And just hums whatever music's in her head no matter what else is going on
#And I'm fucking sad and angry that this fucking movie came out too late for the phase in my life when anyone might've given a shit
#And at some point my bro is gonna watch it and I hope he'll find it comforting but lbr he's gonna be on the joy Wang nihilism train
#And idk I feel a bit like lil waymond getting perpetually divorced and yelled at here bc I'm trying to connect and just not connecting
#Looking on the brightside and finding moments of joy and connection is basically my only weapon too and it just
#Feels like the people in my family are resisting at every turn
#And it's not always their fault!!! Mental health and shit isn't anyone's fault
#But even the most neurotyoical of us just isn't interested really in any attempt I make at reaching out
#Guys I'm fucking here I'm here for the long haul bc I feel like if I turn my back you're gonna lose the rest of your marbles and disappear
#Can we stop!!! Acting!!! Like strangers!!! Sharing a house!!!!!
#*screams into pillow*
#OK tag over share over
#Delete later maybe idk
#mr. bees speaks
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