having autism and being hypersensitive to tastes is such an endless game of "is this food rotten or did they just change the recipe"

morning hunger gets a lot of love (and rightfully so) but what about hunger that hits just a little too long after you wake up.

someone who wakes up not hungry or even nauseated, deciding to skip breakfast and heading to class or to work. realizing as they walk there that they’re weak and dizzy, maybe stopping while climbing the stairs to put a hand on their cramping belly.

making it to their desk and falling into their chair with relief, wishing desperately that they had eaten something, anything, before they came here.

realizing they won’t be able to have another chance to eat for a couple of hours, their starved tummy clenching and growling as they try to discreetly rub it to calm it down.

Did you ever feel so alone that you wake up at 3am and you wanna cry but the only thing you really do is to get some anxiety because soon you'll need to wake up and go to work but there's this hole in your chest like you're 12 again but you're 27 so you failed that little girl and the loneliness is enormous did you ever

can we carry this love (across the desert)

there are no words for the hell that is war just the taste at the back of your tongue that tastes too sweet to be guilt when the battle is done and you can breathe again because he still stands, he still lives, he still matches your gaze across the fields no formal grave will ever know

let me follow - son lux; we can run, forget ourselves, we can make believe|| instant crush - daft punk; he thought he saw someone that looked just like me|| close encounters - bat for lashes; some say my lover is a pale green light|| tell me you love me - sufjan stevens; my love can we carry this love across the desert?|| running up that hall (a deal with god) - kate bush; is there so much hate for the ones we love? we both matter, dont we?|| no glory in the west - orville peck; then there’s still no rest, and there’s still no rest|| into my arms - nick cave & the badseeds; i dont believe in an interventionist god but i know, darling, that you do|| dont delete the kisses - wolf alice; what if it’s not meant for me? love?

spotify link

Now that Dan Fogelman is done with This Is Us, he has some free time.

I VOTE WE BRING BACK PITCH.

Just a random? Thing? But i think its interesting how life changes your perspective on the media you consume.

As a kid i loved the hunger games. Because I was a kid with a wild imagination and it was one of my favorite worlds to daydream about. I obviously empathized with the characters in that at time, but I was like maybe 9 at the time? So I never really was able to get their emotions. I just thought Katniss was cool tm. I adored Haymitch and Effie and honestly at the time Haymitch was my favorite.

And then as a preteen (11-14 was this phase tbh) I was obsessed with the books. Going through my own abuse they kept me afloat. I hated the mockingjay book. It felt like such a slap in the face to see Katniss break down and just give up in some ways. I hated Haymitch at the time for not protecting Peeta and Katniss enough. He reminded me of the person who made the choices that put me in my situation and good god i hated him for it.

Now? As an adult who has some pretty bad ptsd, i wholeheartedly get why the characters act like that. I understand why Katniss falls apart at roses dropped on thirteen. I feel for her when she goes through her depression. I hid with the books the way she hides in the 13. I understand that Haymitch tried. He did his best in a lot of ways. I think, in a lot of ways the roses and the way katniss reacts to them is my most obvious connection to her now. I reacted similarly to how she did, shutting down and collapsing into my own mind for safety. (Extra context thats probably only funny for me: the reason the roses is extra similar is because my breakdown happened bc my abuser sent me a succulent in the mail. It was ugly and smelled gross too.)

The hunger games have been integral to my life and my growing up, and i just think its interesting on how my viewpoint on the books have changed and grown throughout. The books have been around most my life and its kind of an easy way to look back and see how i've changed.

Definitely not my normal post since all my original content is usually art but whatever tm! Ignore my typos please! I just had thoughts and they needed to be put somewhere!

So I do themed lunches for bae, because it’s fun 😁. They requested an Owl House themed lunch today. I am very proud of pulling this off.

its happening again AAAAAAHHH

my partner just walked in on me sitting on the couch, bent over with my face flat against a pillow, and I didn’t know how to tell him that I was internally screaming from the idea of pornstar!ghost kissing the reader down there through her panties—

love the idea of someone who just can’t be bothered to get up and eat despite the protests of their stomach.

someone still drowsily lying in bed long after they should have gotten up to eat breakfast, maybe even past lunch. their empty tummy getting emptier by the minute as they ignore the way it’s grumbling loudly. it’s only when the hunger pangs start in earnest that they finally give in, rolling out of bed and heading downstairs to get something to fill their aching belly.

they still have to cook though, and their stomach is not pleased at being forced to wait even longer, especially with the delicious smell of the food as it’s being made. they stir with one hand and try to massage the hollow space between their ribs with the other, regretting the amount of time they spent laying around.

So, today is my birthday. After four years (and many many problems in the last couple of days) Im back to the city I love.

I brought Geryon here with me, today we walked a lot, and saw many things. Desire is no light thing, dont climb so fast, no tail, etc.

The thing is: Im really happy for being alive. Im glad im 27. Im glad im a red monster who finds love again and again and again.

We are neighbors of fire

just love to see that obi-wan’s reaction to darth vader is the same as everyone elses just “what the fuck what the fuck whwat the fucuucuckkk NO”

Feels like garbage when you invite someone to a night out and they ask to bring someone else, which no one almost ever says no, and then you somehow become the third wheel?

TIME TO PACK, Y’ALL. WE GOIN TO TEXAS FOR A WEDDING!!!!!

I have made multiple redraw memes with my sona now

I am

Having fun