I got soooo many thoughts about the Debling situation like. On one hand it's so important for Pen as a plus size woman to recieve innocent romantic attention that isn't inherently sexual from men other than Colin. Because when you've never recieve attention like that it really fucks with your self-confidence and makes you question everything about yourself and if anyone ever finds you to be desirable.

As much as you can put in the work to create that confidence without the validation of others, there's still always that lingering feeling of being unwanted and having insecurities. So when you do find your person it's often something that you can carry with you.

But on the other hand I just little faith that the love triangle thing will be written well and will be used to help boost Pen's confidence in herself and isn't just being used to stir up nothing drama and be a distraction from bigger relationship issues Pen & Colin could be working on. Overall love triangles are a tired ass trope and tv writers rely on it too much to create tension.

.

put 712 of the worst words ever put in a google doc tonight BUT! it is 712 more words in the google doc than i had yesterday. this fic will be more than 2k, so help me god

if one more well meaning relative asks me if i have done any drawing recently i will start screaming and flip a table 🤪🙃

biggest pet peeve is when i show someone my art and they decide to give their own input like “oh if i were you i would change this” and “i think you should’ve done this or that” like. who asked? i’m showing it to you because i’m proud of it idc if you think it’s trash because i “should’ve put more detail into the this aspect so that blah blah blah” don’t care + didn’t ask

Thinking too hard about the fact that the best example I’ve ever seen of “Mentally Ill Lady is loved unconditionally-not in spite of, but because of, how fucked up she is” comes from a play that a) is over 400 years old that was written in a time where the cultural environment surrounding it wasn’t even fully past the “having OCD means you are communing with the devil” stage, and b) 90% of the people I know are only aware of because we had to read it in high school English class. Anyway, does Shakespeare know what he did by writing Lady Macbeth, DOES HE KNOW

.

ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.

Okok I know when Travis grabs Max like a dog and calls him "good boy" it's supposed to be funny bec Max is a werewolf, but I also like to think of it in context of Travis. To Travis, being called a "good boy" is the highest praise his parents have ever awarded their sons. "A good boy takes care of his family", right?

So in the context of the scene, Max was resisting against Travis and asserting that Travis could question him right there in his cell, he was unwilling to leave Laura alone in the cells/be separated from her again for any reason. If Laura doesn’t stop him he keeps resisting! So I think that even though it was mostly a joke about him being a werewolf, I also think Travis was affording Max a compliment for his loyalty to/protectiveness of Laura even though he was in no position to resist.

Actually I think I’ll die mad at my bros high school girlfriend. I hope she gets stuck in stop-and-go traffic for an hour every time she travels for more than 20 minutes.

man i do not feel like doing my final project for my animal literature class and the reason why makes me feel like a bad person

it frustrated me so much just now that i couldn’t remember anything i did in 2018 and i almost became emotional about becoming an adult … but then i remembered that that’s the year that everything bad happened so of course i’m not going to remember shit from that year

it’s annoying, because i suppose that’s also the year the majority of my witcher headcanons were formed, and since i haven’t deviated strongly from my initial reception of the series, i’d like to be able to recall when i came up with some of these ideas. but no. instead it seems as though they have always been a part of me

"tumblr users aren't weird enough" this and "if you aren't embodying a goblin in the woods you aren't truly living that", today my new classmate tried to connect with me by asking for my social medias and while at first delighted at the thought, I realized that giving him my instagram or tumblr would reveal that I am severely mentally ill and hyperfixate on fictional men that I think are all incredibly homosexual, which I am sure would not help my chances of making a new friend

Then again I did give my tumblr to my previous English teacher so who knows, maybe it works! /J

anyway the fact that jeddidiah martin of camp here and there fame isn’t even ON the wettest podcast man poll is a crime

actually, speaking of concerts, I'm listening to this vlog and both the vlogger and some comments have mentioned that concert etiquette seems to have changed compared to pre-pandemic days. I wonder how true that is

usually my boss is so good at managing the schedule and we’re well staffed or even over staffed but yesterday was so hellish