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#Lead Pencil Studio
lionfloss · 11 months
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NON SIGN II is a billboard created in 2010 by Lead Pencil Studio and is located near the Canada-US border in Washington. It consists of thousands of stainless steel rods.
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casino-bunker · 11 months
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Just look at little Error smiling!
Used software: Clip Studio Paint Ex
Error!Sans by: @loverofpiggies
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flyttadigsart · 2 years
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day and night
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atpsnty · 1 year
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┊𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮
xavier thorpe ; wednesday
pairing: jealous!xavier thorpe x bestfriend!fem!reader 
warnings: light hearted, extremely cheesy & overplayed crush confession, miscommunication trope at it’s finest (let’s be honest, xavier is somehow great at both communicating and not talking at all), light swearing
request: n/a
summary:  after telling him that you were asked to the dance at your school in jericho, xavier gets all butthurt.
a/n: I think this takes place after the whole monster situation, but he doesn’t like wednesday. also, don’t ask how wednesday, xavier, and y/n interact/are connected in all of this, idk either...
character credit: wednesday series
w/c: 1.2k
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“I don’t even understand why you're being all grumpy right now,” you sigh as you trail behind your bestfriend. 
You’re just leaving the Weathervane café and following Xavier towards the woods, meaning you’re probably heading to his little art shack. Everything was going as it usually does – you guys laughing and catching up over your separate drinks – when he suddenly got really quiet and wanted to leave.
“Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?”
He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence anymore, seeming to be in his own head right now.
You glance at his back, his usually tall stature now hunched in on itself. He keeps running his hand through his hair as it falls in his face, which is when you notice that he’s missing the black hair tie that usually sits on his wrist.
Putting a little pep in your step to get beside him, you hold out your own wrist. Upon it lays a hair tie; the same black type that he usually keeps for himself. You started carrying them after noticing how often he sets them down beside him, only to forget doing so and abandoning them altogether.
He halts his movements before glancing at the band adorning your wrist. He stares at it for a few seconds before his gaze trails up at your face, where he stares at you for a few more. 
You guys are always comfortable around each other, you’ve been friends for a while now, so eye contact is not something you struggle with…but there was something different about the way he is currently looking at you. Like he’s analyzing you. Studying you. Looking past what lays upon your expression and trying to survey your thoughts.
You try to hold his stare, but after a bit your face starts to heat up and the moment feels way too intense, so you divert your gaze to your shoes, the tips almost touching the tips of his own.
You hear the soft sigh fall from his lips before you see his retreating steps. After a few seconds, you fall back in line, trailing behind him once again.
After a few more silent minutes, you reach his art studio. He opens the door for you, though still not looking at you directly, before walking in himself. He immediately finds his closest pencil and sketchbook, making little to no sounds as he sits at his desk and begins scribbling away.
You sit on the stool that accompanies a large painting canvas and watch as he frustratingly works the pencil into the paper, smudging lead with his fingers in an unrecognizable design.
After a while, the silence is almost too much to bear.
“Seriously Xavier, what is wrong with you?”
“Everything apparently,” he said abruptly while slamming down his pencil on the multi-color covered table top, “enough to not even be an option anymore.”
You squint at him, completely distraught by his sudden outburst.
“What the actual fuck are you talking about?” 
Completely lost about where this attitude even came from, you run back the conversation you were having back at Weathervane: your wellbeing, school, an upcoming dance, the guy who asked you to said upcoming dance…
Bingo.
“Are you mad about me getting asked to a school dance?” You questioned, a hint of accusation to your voice. 
“Yes, okay! I’m mad you got asked to your little dance at normie school!” Xavier exclaimed, standing up and looking down at you. 
It takes all but two seconds before you're standing as well, mixed emotions of confusion and anger boiling inside you.
“Why would you be fucking upset! If anything you should be happy that your best friend is actually liked by someone for once.” You said in an exasperated tone. Why would your closest friend be upset about you finally getting attention from someone…unless he thinks you don’t deserve it.
“Well I’m not fucking happy.” He says while looking you straight in the eyes before sitting back in his chair, placing his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.
“Why not?” At this point, anything he said would probably end with you in tears, your heart broken, or both.
“Because I wanted to take you,” he says in a soft voice before running both hands through his hair and turning to face you. “Because I want to take you,” he reiterates. 
You gape at him, eyes and lips slightly widened as you find the words to say. 
To be honest, you have had feelings for Xavier for a while. When you first saw him, you thought he was an attractive guy. His long hair compliments his face so well, who wouldn’t? But it wasn’t until you started connecting that your feelings for him truly blossomed. You loved his artsy side, he was always surprising you with drawings and paintings he made of you, alongside ones he made simply to impress you with his “bring drawings to life” ability. He was always there to cheer you up if something was upsetting you at school, and he would constantly call or text you to see how you’re doing.
After all that gaping, the only thing you could think to say was “why would you want to do that?”
He gave a small chuckle-ish sigh before replying, “have I not been obvious, because I swear everyone else could see how much I like you except you.”
Thinking back at it now, yeah the man was super obvious, but that doesn’t mean you actually believe it..
“Seriously, Y/N. I know I’m being super obvious in my flirting tactics, but that’s just because I think you like me back. I mean obviously not if you’re going to a dance with someone else, but I-”
“Who said I’m going with somebody else?” You cut him off mid rant.
“The guy-.”
“If you would’ve actually let me finish my story instead of getting all jealous and gloomy, you would have heard me say that I didn’t even say yes.” You look at him with a slight smirk. “Matter of fact, I don’t think I even like anyone fro-”
“I knew it.”
“From my school. Xavier you seriously need to let a girl finish her storytimes,” you shake your head and softly laugh before looking back up at him.
The smile you’ve come to adore is finally resting upon his face once again.
“So…you want to take me to the dance,” you tease.
“I do,” he says as if it’s a simple fact.
“Are you gonna ask or…? Because I’ve got other options to weigh if this is gonna take all da-.”
He rushes towards you and envelopes you in a hug, though this one feels different than the ones you usually share.
“Would you allow me the great honor of taking you to your normie school dance?” He finishes as he sets you back upright and grazes his thumb over your cheek.
“I would love to go,” you smile up at him, leaning into his touch slightly.
“With me though, right? The other dudes are completely out of the picture?”
“Only with you,” you giggle at his playful antics. “Just you.”
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Completely ignoring the story, I am currently obsessed with Xavier Thorpe and my close friends list on Instagram has been suffering with edits for days.
I no longer support Percy Hynes White and will no longer take request for Xavier Thorpe.
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atalienart · 3 months
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@ianwaite replied to your post “Does Al also make you paranoid? Look at this...”:
Why do you assume that AI artists are not interested in their cause? What do you think of digital art?
​There are no Al artists, there are Al prompters. If you've ever been interested in something then you must know that the object of your interest is what really counts. You want to know more about it, you want to fully experience it. You want to be a writer, you sit and write, you develop your skills, find new techniques of writing and telling stories through written words. If you don't want to write, you're not a writer. You can tell stories but that doesn't mean you're a writer. You can have ideas but that doesn't make you a writer. If you tell another person or a machine to write you something you're not a writer. If someone else composes words for you, you're not a writer. You are not a carpenter when you tell a machine to make you a table in a rococo style. You're not interested in carpentry, you just want a table and want people to clap saying "wow, what a beautiful table, you're such an amazing carpenter" and then to buy it. This is what they're interested in. Al prompters are interested either in the technical aspects of Al, or the final "product" that can give them money or a pat on the back, or a short lasting pleasure of seeing their wife's head on a supergirl body. Tell me the difference between prompting and image searching? There is none.
What do I think about digital art? It's great and beautiful. Graphic programs artists use are another medium. Graphic programs don't lead your hand, don't magically pop images like Al. You draw lines with a stylus on tablet the same way you draw with a pencil on paper. Every medium has different properties. With oil paints you can do impasto paintings, watercolours react beautifully with water, Clip Studio allows you do draw on layers. There is no dark magic but Al prompters see a sped up, edited screen recording of a digital art proces and they think the drawing magically appears on screen without a physical input of the artist. They don't see work, just pats and some "product". I love digital art because it allowed me to share my art with other people much easier. I admire digital artists who can create amazing art pieces. I hope they won't give up when Al people constantly steal from them.
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dreamwritesimagines · 5 months
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Garden of Secrets - Epilogue
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support throughout the story my darlings! I hope you enjoy the epilogue as well, ILYSM! ❤️
Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex.
Thank you to @theskytraveler for helping me with the story and the chapter!
Series Masterlist
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3 YEARS LATER
“And this flower right here is called a mock orange, any idea why?”
The cheerful babbling was the only answer you got and you felt yourself smiling wide, turning to look at her better. Camellia was the cutest baby you’d ever seen and you were pretty sure it wasn’t just because she was the most perfect combination of you and Benedict. The only person in your life that remembered you as a baby was Josie, and she swore up and down that she looked more like you than Benedict but you weren’t so sure.
“Very good!” you said. “Because it looks like an orange flower!”
Camellia clapped her hands excitedly, as if congratulating herself for guessing right, kicking her legs back and forth in her high chair, accidentally dropping one of the many pencils on the table in front of her but she didn’t even notice.
“And what about this one?”
“Fwo?”
“Flower, yes,” you said, nodding fervently and she gave you a huge grin. You went to pick her up from the chair and approached the table in the middle of the huge greenhouse.
 “This is your flower my sweet, see? Middlemist Red Camellia.”
She gasped when she heard her name. “Me!”
“Mm hm, the most beautiful and precious flower in the entire world!” you said, tickling her stomach while kissing her cheeks, making her happy giggles echo in the greenhouse. You fixed her hair, still smiling bright and took a look at the paper she was drawing on before, full of different colored squiggly lines.
“Perhaps your papa is right, you are to be a big artist,” you said as you walked to the glass door. “A painter like him hm?”
“Papa!”
“And your aunt Lottie says you will be a writer and your uncle Teddy says you’ll be a sculptor…” you said as you stepped out of the greenhouse into the huge garden, the sunlight falling upon you. You grabbed the little hat by the door and placed it upon Camellia’s head while she held onto you, playing with your necklace.
“So many ideas!” you told her as you passed by the winter garden, enjoying the chirping of the birds. A couple of butterflies flew by you, no doubt because you were very close to the butterfly garden and Camellia held her breath, pointing at the blue butterfly.
“Mama!”
“I can see that my love,” you said, pressing a kiss on her small chubby hand, and walked past the orangery. “They’re very beautiful, are they not?”
She nodded fervently, making grabby hand motions as if trying to call the butterflies to her.
“Anyway, as I was saying,” you said, still walking through the main garden. “They all think like that but do you want to know what I think?”
She nodded her head again, still listening to you very intently.
“I think you might just become the biggest botanist in the world,” you whispered. “I mean it only makes sense, no? You already know so many flowers!”
Camellia pointed at the pear tree and turned to you. “Mine? Mine?”
“Let’s get you one then,” you said with a small laugh, reaching up to grab and pick the pear off the branch. You dusted it off, then gave it to Camellia who made a happy cooing sound, trying to dig into it. You raised your head to look up at the house, a warmth spreading through you as your gaze fell upon the window of Benedict’s studio, then you turned to Camellia.
“Let’s go see papa, hm?” you asked her, then made your way to the house to enter the foyer. You hummed a song and climbed up the stairs, then put Camellia down when you entered the hallway leading to Benedict’s studio.
“Go ahead.”
“Papa?” Camellia called out, running as fast as her tiny legs allowed her, reminding you of a duck. She was still holding the pear tight in her fist, and you walked right behind her to make sure you would be able to catch her if she fell. “Papa!”
You let out a laugh as you heard Benedict’s footsteps and he stepped out of the studio, his jaw dropping as he saw her and he immediately leaned down to catch her before she could smash herself against his legs.
“Oh here’s my sweet!” he said as he hoisted her up into his arms, smothering her in kisses, making her giggle happily before he turned to you, that fond look crossing his eyes, a soft smile curling his lips.
“Hello my love.”
You smiled, and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him. “Hello to you too,” you said, letting out a small laugh as he stole another kiss from you. “I figured you needed a break or so.”
“And you were right,” he said, winking at you before turning to Camellia. “How is she always right, do you know?”
Camellia offered him the pear she was holding and Benedict gasped.
“For me?”
“More like it was for her but she’s willing to share,” you said and Benedict grinned.
“Come on,” he nodded in the direction of the studio and walked inside with Camellia in his arms, and you followed them.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” you sang in a teasing manner, pulling the hat off Camellia’s head and Benedict shot you a mischievous look.
“Mm, what am I doing?”
“You think you can turn her into an artist if she spends enough time here.”
“I can’t help if she’s naturally talented,” Benedict defended himself. “I mean have you seen her work?”
“The…the squiggly lines?”
“The squiggly lines!” Benedict nodded, rocking Camellia. “She’s a genius artist even as a one-year-old.”
“I still support my botanist theory.”
“Maybe she’ll be both?”
“As you can see my sweet, no high expectations whatsoever,” you told Camellia who was listening to both of you as if she could understand everything you were saying.
“You can be anything you want to be,” Benedict told her as she rested her head on his shoulder, yawning. “Including an artist. Just saying.”
You walked closer to the canvas to see that the background was almost done, and tilted your head.
“What’s this going to be?”
Benedict shot you a grin and pressed his lips on top of Camellia’s hair. You checked the clock on the wall, then rang the bell.
“That one is going to be her,” Benedict said, softly rocking her and you smiled.
“Aw,” you said gently, and walked to caress her soft cheek with your finger. “Did you hear that my sweet? Your own portrait?”
Camellia sucked on her thumb, her eyes closing slowly.
“Is she sleeping?” Benedict whispered and you nodded.
“She is,” you murmured, rubbing her back and turned your head when someone knocked on the door.
“Ma’am,” Paula said. “Mr. Bridgerton. Would you like me to take her for her nap?”
“That would be good Paula, thank you.”
She smiled and took Camellia from Benedict, careful not to wake her.
“I’ll be right there,” you told her and pressed a kiss on Camellia’s head before Paula walked out of the room with her. You turned to Benedict and he entwined his fingers with yours, pulling you into his arms.
“Hey,” you said as he buried his nose into your hair. “Is everything alright?”
“Mm hm, now that you’re here.”
You smiled softly and squeezed his arm. “Are you still tense about the gala?”
He heaved a sigh and you pulled back a little to look up at him.
“Ben, that painting got auctioned and sold in two minutes because everyone was outbidding each other,” you reminded him. “People are talking about you the same way you used to talk about Gordon, everyone agrees that you’re a genius artist, the whole ton—”
“Yeah but it’s different,” he mumbled. “Tonight, it’s only friends and family.”
“Shouldn’t that be comforting?”
“Technically yes but…” he trailed off and shook his head slightly. “Never mind.”
You cupped his cheek, raising your brows. “Tell me.”
“It’s easier when it’s just strangers,” he said with a small chuckle. “Museum owners and Academy directors and such. It’s different when it’s family and friends, and I’d hate it if they thought all those other people exaggerated—”
“Everyone in the Academy and countless artists and museum owners who were on the verge of a fight to get your painting, they all exaggerated?” you asked with a small smile. “All of those people at the same time?”
Benedict thought for a moment. “When you say it like that…”
You let out a laugh and stood on your tiptoes to brush your lips against his, and he heaved a sigh when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin of your neck.
“Tonight is going to be amazing,” you assured him. “I promise you.”
He shot you a mischievous grin, then leaned down hoisted you up into his arms, making you squeal.
“Benedict!”
“There’s no harm in starting the amazing night a bit early,” he said as he carried you to the sofa and you let out a laugh.
“Scandalous behavior!” you joked and he winked at you, then leaned in to kiss you.
                                                *
Of course the night of the gala went perfectly, as you knew it would. Both your family and Benedict’s had been so excited and were very proud of him, and you could see it melted away the last insecurity that had been gnawing at him before tonight.
His speech that he dedicated the painting -and his inspiration- to you was enough to bring tears into your eyes but you managed to hide it by burying your face into his arm, earning an “aww” from the crowd. After the speech, people scattered along in the gallery to talk to each other, and if you said so yourself, everyone seemed to be having fun. Benedict was talking to Gordon, Henry, Margery and Lucy by the corner, Anthony and Lottie looked like they were in their own world while Colin kept whispering things to Penelope’s ear, making her giggle. Eloise seemed to be in a deep conversation with Simon while Daphne watched them with a small smile, and you smiled at Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury as Teddy wheezed past you.
“Teddy don’t run!” you called out and he stopped for a moment.
“But I’m being very careful!” he assured you and returned to chasing Hyacinth and Gregory. Your aunt held up her hands, gesturing surrender as she gave him a fond look and your uncle chuckled.
“If he changes his mind about being a sculptor…”
“He can become a professional runner,” you joked and turned to Josie and Bess.
“So yes, we’re going to Paris before the season,” you told them. “Around like a month before, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Andrew will give you a list of things to bring from there, just so you know,” Bess said said and you let out a laugh.
“I’m alright with that. Wait, where is he anyway?”
Josie cleared her throat. “I think he and Felix are in the orangery—”
“The moon garden, my love,” Bess corrected her and you raised your brows, stifling a laugh.
“Of course they are,” you muttered and heard someone calling your name. You turned your head to see who it was, then made your way to Lottie and Anthony.
“Hello you two.”
“Y/N,” she said with a huge smile, still holding Anthony’s hand. “We already said goodnight to Benedict, we didn’t want to leave before saying goodnight to you.”
You tilted your head. “You’re leaving already?” you asked. “Is everything alright? Is Edmund—”
“Oh Edmund is fine!” she assured you quickly and Anthony nodded.
“He’s probably asleep already.”
“It’s just—I tire very easily nowadays,” Lottie said, making you pull your brows together. Anthony and Lottie exchanged smiles and Lottie bounced on the balls of her feet in an excited manner, making your frown deepen for a moment before the thought dawned on you and your jaw dropped.
“Are you serious?!” you whispered and Lottie giggled, nodding fervently.
“You’re the first to know,” she whispered and you let out a laugh, then pulled her into a hug.
“Congratulations!”
“Thank you!”
“To both of you obviously—” you said with a laugh, then hugged Anthony as well, making him chuckle as he hugged you back.
“We haven’t told Benedict yet,” he told you as you pulled back. “You know with the gala and everything.”
“Oh he will be very happy for you!” you said and Lottie bit on her lip.
“I wish to be the one to tell him if that’s alright.”
“Absolutely!” you said, waving your hands. “Go on then, go home and rest. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You’d better,” Lottie joked and squeezed your hand, then they both walked out of the gallery. You looked around, then took a step towards Eloise but someone touched the small of your back, making you look up.
“Well if it isn’t the genius artist,” you teased Benedict and he shot you a happy grin.
“Come with me?”
“As long as we’re not going to the moon garden because if I walk in on them again…” you muttered and he tilted his head.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” you said and let him pull you out of the gallery. You both passed through the foyer and he led you outside, still holding your hand.
“Ben, where are we going?” you asked with a laugh and he stopped by the main garden, moonlight falling upon you both, showering the gardens in silver. Even though it was the thousandth time you were seeing this gorgeous view, it still managed to take your breath away.
Speaking of things that managed to take your breath away…
You looked up at Benedict, his handsome face under the moonlight, your heart skipping a beat before you giggled.
“Are we sneaking out of your own gala then?”
Benedict shot you a mischievous smile, then shook his head.
“No I merely…I wanted a moment with you,” he said. “Just you.”
You bit down on your lip as he pulled you closer, his fingers stroking over your hair. Your eyes fluttered close when he brushed his lips against yours and you smiled into the kiss, grazing your nails over the nape of his neck, making him heave a sigh.
“Congratulations Mr. Bridgerton,” you whispered. “Your gala seems to be a success.”
He smiled softly, pressing his lips on your temple. “Seems to be, Mrs. Bridgerton.”
You hummed. “Is it too early to say I told you so?”
He chuckled. “I don’t think so.”
“Well then, I told you so,” you said, sticking your nose up in the air. “And you should listen to me all the time because to be honest, so far I’ve—”
“I love you,” he said, and your eyes snapped up to his, a smile warming your face. You let out a giggle and pulled him down so that you could kiss him.
“I love you too,” you whispered and entwined your fingers with his, then took a step towards the house.
“Come on,” you said. “It is your gala my love. Let’s go and enjoy it.”
The End.
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aomimiusa-bear · 7 months
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strike a pose - jeon wonwoo
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This is a work of fiction. Mature content ahead.
wc: 3.4k
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The rough scratch of pencil gliding over scrapbook paper brought you solace in the chaos of life. The movements of your wrist have grown your ideas to places beyond your wildest imaginations. It was your reminder of why you were in this profession in the first place.
Your parents had always reprimanded your younger self for doodling on every free space available which painted you as the victim for the colorful streaks of crayon that danced the walls of your childhood home.
One of your parents never failed to bring up their favorite story of you at the semi annual family dinners you attend. 
“I remember her wailing until she had no tears left to cry. It broke my heart to scrub her drawings off of the walls, but the landlord was not having it.” 
Every retelling about your humble beginnings never failed to push a couple stray tears out of your eyes.
Pursuing your passion challenges your physical and mental capabilities. Continuing with art in university was like toying with a double edged sword; for once you were delighted at the thought of attending classes, but the viscous environment during your internships caused you to turn your back on art for a brief moment in time.
Nonetheless, the trials and tribulations of university led you to where you are today. The studio was furnished with blinding lights and eye-catching backdrops. The scent of hairspray lingered in the air as it is seemingly sprayed every couple seconds. 
You shouldn’t be this nervous; it was just another photo shoot showcasing your newest creations. Honestly, you weren’t nervous at all until your assistant was, figuratively speaking, bouncing off the walls as they were delivering important news regarding the shoot. 
“I had no idea he would agree so easily. I wouldn’t have stressed for days, weeks even if the negotiation was this simple.” Your assistant rambled. “The one and only, Jeon Wonwoo, agreed to be the leading model for your newest line!” followed by an earth-shattering squeal.
The oxygen supplying your lungs had magically disappeared in that very moment. You must have done the greatest act of kindness in your past life to receive this kind of opportunity.
Jeon Wonwoo is the top male model in the industry; his lean physique and fierce gaze was highly critiqued in every magazine column dedicated to the alluring man. To top it all off, Wonwoo was given an innumerable amount of praise for his seemingly contradicting persona behind the camera. 
You recalled the countless interviews of Wonwoo’s diligent care towards all the staff members regardless of titles. You also, not that you were intentionally looking for more information on the man, know that he held a soft spot for any type of cat. How fucking adorable. 
Wonwoo was paralyzingly attractive and his charming personality was sufficient to captivate even the most hateful people in this world. 
Mindless drawings of multiple pieces of clothing occupied your downtime. The shoot was not scheduled to start until later, but you wanted to settle into the ambiance of it all to fully immerse yourself in your work. It was like a pre-shoot ritual for you.
Whenever you wanted to let your mind wander, you’d pick up the ratty sketchbook you had received for christmas one year. The ideas stuffed into said sketchbook were not worthy of being turned into reality, but you loved the brief moment of complete creative freedom.
The familiar scrape of your pencil on paper casted a hypnotic response on your hand. You were just doodling free from the confines of profit and pressure. 
“That is absolutely beautiful.”
You whipped your head around at the sound of a deep and melodic voice. His eyes were trained on the worn out page of your sketchbook. You were speechless. Jeon Wonwoo wasn’t just a passing topic of many promiscuous conversations with coworkers. He was here. Right behind you. And he had complimented your work. 
“Thank you. Kind words like yours inspire me to stay in this business.” 
It was an automatic response whenever someone complimented your work after countless interviews, although your response had been more timid than anticipated. 
A searing blush already crept up your neck, and soon to invade the tips of your ears. You turned back around in your chair effectively facing away from where he was positioned.
You had found relief from the busy outside in an empty dressing room, and you were in a comfortable position in one of the vanity set ups. 
He wasn’t clueless. Wonwoo thoroughly enjoyed how flustered you became in his presence. Wonwoo also didn’t miss how you were deliberately checking him out in the reflection of you both. He looked good in your clothes.
Suddenly, you found yourself enclosed in a pair of biceps. You stared into the mirror to meet Wonwoo’s eyes as well. 
“Thank you for this opportunity to work with you. It is my greatest privilege to showcase your newest clothing line.” His head dipped lower to level with your own. Without breaking eye contact through the mirror Wonwoo added, 
“See you out there sweetheart. I look forward to working with you.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The shutter of the camera was another sound you learned to appreciate over time. Usually, the photographer would barrel directions towards the model, but not Wonwoo. He was confident in his abilities, and that energy was carried on to everyone in the room.
His movements were fluid and natural; he was posing just enough to display the clothes but still highlight his abilities. 
It was as if he was born for the camera.
To say you were mesmerized by him was an understatement. You were bewitched by the man known as Jeon Wonwoo. 
You lost count of the stolen glances you shared with Wonwoo. Every time your eyes hovered on him for a split second too long he would immediately sense it, and subsequently meet your own gaze. 
His eyes devoured you. As if Wonwoo was attending an art exhibit and was bidding to take you home. 
“The female model just called in saying she can’t make it.” Your assistant was out of breath trying to deliver the news as soon as possible. These situations happen more often than not, but what got your palms sweaty was the absence of a standby model. 
A wave of deja vu crashed over you. This has happened only one other time. You had to step in, but in this case you were modeling with the most attractive man you had laid your eyes on. There were no other options. 
There was only one outfit you envisioned that required the female model to pose with Wonwoo. 
Red chiffon draped your figure, and the cowl neckline only did so much to cover your chest. The rounded swells of your breasts peaked out from the top, sides and down the plunging neckline. A small bunch of ruffles placed on your right arm lightly resembled a flower as the trim ran down the side and flowed past your ankle; the free moving trim was a contradiction to the form fitting body of the dress. 
You loved this design on paper, and it only excited you to bring it to life.
A team of staff members scrambled to get yourself ready for the shoot. The angular placement of the deep brown eyeshadow pointed your eyes towards the temples of your face. A subtle peach lip topped off the look.
You were ready for the camera.
Upon walking out of the dressing room, you noticed that Wonwoo had changed into an all black outfit. The shirt was slightly see-through and equally as plunging as your own ensemble. 
The concept for these photos were to showcase the sultry red dress hence Wonwoo’s monochromatic garments. Most of the poses consisted of you in front of Wonwoo with his hands on your waist while your head was on his shoulders.
Mundane is what you would describe the poses you were put into with Wonwoo. Up until the last pose.
“Wonwoo, I’m going to need you to take off your shirt bud.” The photographer instructs. Instinctively, Wonwoo began to unbutton his top. Tantalizingly slow. He also made direct eye contact with you. 
A chair was placed in the middle of the white backdrop. 
“Wonwoo, please take a seat while I direct our leading lady for our final pose.”
Your leg closest to the camera was bent on top of his while the other was firmly planted on the ground. Wonwoo’s hand grasped your waist, but his arm laid relaxed on the mound of your ass.
He was instructed to lean into your chest; right where the tip of the plunge was located. You snaked your arm around the nape of his neck to complete the final look.
A thunderous round of applause commenced after the final shutter of the camera. You and Wonwoo had made your way to the monitor storing all of the taken photos.
You had to admit, you and Wonwoo looked damn good together.
“Maybe you should switch professions so that I can see you more often. I would love to share the camera with you.” Wonwoo had said this low enough for only your ears to hear.
His broad figure disappeared after nearly sending you into hysteria. Wonwoo probably headed out to change out of the one article of clothing that he was wearing by the end of the shoot.
He probably had to attend scheduled obligations after the shoot. You were slightly upset that you may never see the gorgeous man ever again.
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After Wonwoo had scurried off, you took it upon yourself to finish all of the administrative work left for you to complete. Being involved in the shoot pushed back all of your priorities, so you needed to catch up ASAP. 
You had been so busy that you were still in the red dress.
At this eerily late hour, everyone had already gone home, and it was your job to close up the studio; the owner had slipped the keys into your palms after you explained the long night ahead. 
Your personal belongings were tucked away in the same vacant dressing room you were in prior to the beginning of the shoot. The clack of your heels echoed on the linoleum floor as you made your way into the room.
You twisted the door open just to reveal Wonwoo sitting on a chair just scrolling on his phone. He was in his attire from earlier; shirtless with a pair of slacks. His head looked up to meet yours. You blinked once. Twice. Three times before you broke the silence.
“What are you still doing here?”
“Waiting for you of course.” He replied. The beat of your heart sped up ten fold.
Your legs had a mind of its own, because you started walking where Wonwoo sat. He held out his hand for you to take. As soon as your hand was in his, Wonwoo yanked you onto his lap.
His chest felt firm pressed against the side of your arm. The inviting warmth radiating from his body was intoxicating. 
Your hands were kept folded together on your lap. The dress rode up your thighs just a bit higher, but still covered enough to be decent. His hand rested on the side of your thighs playing with the hem of the dress while the other was placed underneath your chin. 
“You were spectacular out there. Your confidence and grace was admirable; you deserve to be a role model to people everywhere.” His praises never ended.
“Thank you Wonwoo.” Sincerity laced your voice. “I see now why you are constantly booked for shoots.” You chuckled softly.
“I owe that all to you. You were ravishing out there.” You were speechless. And Wonwoo was the reason. Again.
“I’d love to work with you in the future if you are available.” 
“Only if you’d have me.” Wonwoo’s smile was so bright that his eyes folded into cute crescent moons. 
“It would be an honor.” You replied in a funny British accent. Even his laughs were perfect.
The laughter died down into a comfortable silence. You couldn’t focus with Wonwoo so close.
Wonwoo’s thumb toyed with your bottom lip. His warmth was a feeling you could get used to. You didn’t stop him nor did you want him to stop. Ever. 
“Tell me I’m not imagining things darling. Tell me you want this as much as I do.”
You gave him a weak nod. Your brain was filled with nothing but him.
“Words sweetheart. I need words.” He softly chastised. 
“Take me Wonwoo. I’m all yours.” The desperation in your voice would have made you cringe on a regular day, but something about Wonwoo made it so easy.
That was all he needed. Wonwoo moved his hand from your ass to the back of your neck to press his lips to yours.
Something about the kiss lit your whole body on fire. It felt so right.
The slight nip of Wonwoo’s teeth on your bottom lip emits a small gasp from you. That allowed Wonwoo to slip his tongue in to dance with yours. The sounds coming from the both of you could rival PornHub’s most popular video. 
Wonwoo disconnected his lips from yours. “Spread your legs. Let me see your pussy babe.”
You shifted your body so that your back was pressed against his chest. Your head slumped against his while each of your legs fell on either side of his left thigh.
The end of the dress gathered on the tops of your thighs until Wonwoo pushed the bunched up fabric to sit around your waist. 
Staring back at him was the image of your flimsy thong. The crotch area was covered by a thin layer of mesh with some sort of floral detailing.
You couldn’t recollect the specific attributes of your underwear because Wonwoo was slicing your pussy in half with the help of your thong. He tugged the skinny damp fabric upwards as it nestled itself in between your swollen pussy lips. 
“You are the most breathtaking sight. Right? You’ll take everything I give you because you're my good girl.” 
Any response you wanted to give him was lost in your never ending moans. Wonwoo released the tension on your underwear only to tease his index finger along your soaking slit.
“Fuck Wonwoo, that feels so good.” That was the first coherent thought you were able to voice. Wonwoo settled on playing with your clit stimulating the bundle of nerves.
“You’re so wet sweetheart. Were you this wet during the shoot too? Walking around with slick thighs and your cunt crying to be fucked?”
His words were too much to handle. Wonwoo’s finger circled your hole.
“Won–” you choke back a moan. “Wonwoo I need you now. No more teasing.” You mewl.
“I haven’t even stretched you out yet. Do you want this fat cock now? Are you that much of a greedy whore?” You desperately nodded.
Wonwoo removed his hand from your throbbing core, and you flinched at the contact of the frigid air.
“Up.”
You immediately stood up in between his legs. Wonwoo zipped down his slacks to reveal his hardened cock covered by the fabric of his underwear.
As for the dress, you slipped the straps off of your shoulders freeing your tits before completely stripping from the dress. Your nipples stood erect from your growing sexual desire.
Wonwoo grabbed you again and positioned your body to be kneeling in front of him. The gleam in his eye signaled you to pull the waistband of his underwear down until they bundled around his ankles.
“C’mon baby, you know what to do. You’re smart. I haven’t had the chance to fuck you dumb yet.”
His cock was red and pulsating. The bulbous tip was leaking beads of precum. Starting from the base, you licked the length of his cock all the way to the tip.
 You circled your tongue on his slit to collect the leaking cum.
You collected a wad of saliva at the edge of your mouth before you spat it onto his penis. You lowered your head to completely take him in your mouth. 
You were bobbing your head up and down and sucking him in. Whatever you couldn’t reach your hands were taking care of it. 
He felt hot and heavy in your mouth, and you swore that your arousal was about to drip onto the floor. 
“Shit. You’re a piece of art. The prettiest fuckin’ thing to ever grace this Earth.” 
You glanced at Wonwoo through your eyelashes. His head was thrown back in pleasure, and that only motivated you to continue with what you were doing.
His hands found their way to the back of your head creating a makeshift ponytail.
He pushed your head down far enough where your nose met his pelvis. You gagged around him before he released you.
A string of saliva connected your bottom lip to his cock. 
“C’mere baby.” 
He placed you across his lap again. His hot mouth was sucking a deep bruise that would be a pain to cover in the morning. Wonwoo’s hands trailed down your leg and removed the uncomfortable heels on your feet.
You couldn’t have been more relieved. 
Now, it was your turn to whisper lowly into his ear, “Let me ride your dick Won. I want to be good to you.”
You maneuvered yourself in order to straddle his hips. Wonwoo took this opportunity to tease your entrance with his tip. 
“Stop teasing.” You were growing impatient after all of the foreplay.
Wonwoo harshly grabbed your neck. He pressed the sides just enough to feel a lightheaded buzz course through your head. 
“Ask politely.” His grip tightened in the slightest. “I didn’t know you were a brat. I thought you wanted to be good for me.” It felt like he was scolding you.
“Give me your manners before I make you beg like the dirty fucking slut you are.”
God, you were so wet that it was starting to hurt having nothing to fill you up.
“Wonwoo please fuck me. I need you fill me with your cock and fuck me like the whore I am.”
“Are you asking?” He raised his eyebrow. 
“No, I'm begging.”
The vulgar exchange of words was enough for him to slam your hips down and take him all the way. The mouthwatering stretch of his cock felt heavenly. 
“This pussy was made for me. No one else could take this tight and dirty little hole like I can.”
You rhythmically moved your hips up and down while pausing every couple seconds to grind down on his dick. You felt every ridge and vein protruding from his cock. 
Your eyes were clouded from lust
“You feel so good baby. Wrapped so well around my fat cock. Do you like it that much? Hmm?”
“Yes, yes Wonwoo love your cock. S’good.” You were panting like you had won a marathon. Your activities could possibly be considered one.
You knew you were clenching hard around Wonwoo, and he knew by looking at the drag of your pussy lips every time you’d lift yourself up. 
“You’re so tight, baby. My good girl is doing so well for me.”
The familiar coil in your abdomen was about to snap. Wonwoo’s words only pushed you closer to release.
“Cum for me sweetheart. I’ll cum for you, fill you up to the brim darling, if you cum for me.”
That was enough to send you over the edge. Pleasure came crashing down on you. Wonwoo roughly thrusted upwards, and the stuttering of his hips let you know that he came too. 
You looked down at where you and Wonwoo were connected and saw a white ring of your mixed arousal around the base of his cock. You were certain that the sticky mess had spread onto your inner thighs as well. 
Suddenly, Wonwoo placed you on the desk of the vanity. You jumped at the contact of your bare ass against the cold surface.
He pulled up the pooled clothing pieces at his ankles so that he was wearing them again 
You felt exposed. You were still completely naked. Wonwoo had been gazing at you longingly before speaking. “Let me clean you up at my place. It’s not far from here.”
“Is this a trick to get me to go home with you Mr. Jeon?” It was your turn to raise your eyebrow. 
“Did it work?”
“Yes Wonwoo, I’d love nothing more than to go home with you.”
Wonwoo handed you his extra sweatshirt and pants. You quickly got dressed, and soon enough you were out the door with your hand in his. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Hi everyone! I am so grateful for the support on my past two works. Feel free to leave any comments in my asks or on my posts! 
I hope you enjoyed this fic as well. 
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enthusiasticharry · 1 year
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the one where YN is a rising star in 1940's Hollywood, and Harry sets his eyes on her even though she's married.
author's note: two posts in two weeks? who am i? so thankful for all of the love on Desire i'm so glad you enjoyed it, and i hope you enjoy Glitz and Glamour just as much. posts are probably going to slow down again (very sorry just have a lot on plate going back to work, ugh) but imma promise that i'm not going to be gone for long, and there may even be a new series in the works ;) love ya lots!
word count: 10k of glitz, glamour, smut, fluff, angst and everything in between. (don't forget harry being a sexy rock star)
let me know what you think of Glitz and Glamour here! mwah <3
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Hollywood, 1946
“I told you, Marshall, I’m not doing it.”
YN sat in her husband’s office; the pinstripe pencil skirt suit she had on giving her a sense of confidence to say what she really wants to in front of her husband. It wasn’t that she was usually a pushover in front of her husband – but his power scared her.
YN had met Marshall Miller when she was twenty-one, and she had just moved to Hollywood with nothing but a small suitcase full of all her personal belongings and a dream on her shoulders. It was at a scouting audition that she’d first met him, and YN knew that there were two things that were working on her side. The first was that she had a strive and a power to be the best actress that she could ever be, and the other was that she knew how to have men in the palm of her hand.
From being cast in her first film that day (even if it was only a minor role) she had Marshall Miller in the palm of her hand and she was holding on tight. She was in three more Marshall Miller films across the next three months, and in the fourth month of living in Hollywood she was married to one of the most influential directors in the business.
Obviously, YN had never planned for her marriage to be a business move (it was from her opinion, she didn’t know about Marshall), but she had to roll with the punches that this town gave her. She knew she would never love Marshall, but she couldn’t lie and tell herself that she didn’t appreciate the opportunities that he bestowed upon her.
That included this one – the first time that she was going to be a leading lady in a film that wasn’t just the wife of an important male lead. However, things weren’t exactly working to her plan when she received a revised version of the script which included a slightly more sexual scene (fine, whatever) but that also included her being nude.
This was the one thing that she had discussed with Marshall when she was first scouted – that she would do everything that she asked to, but she wouldn’t get nude in any scene she did. That would change the game for her acting – any last hopes for her to be known as an acting force in this life would be out of the window and she would be renamed as a ‘sex-symbol’ which wasn’t the life that she was looking for.
“I’m sorry, YN but you don’t have a choice.”
“I do have a choice, Marshall,” YN stood her ground, leaning forward in her chair and tapping her red-painted nails on top of his desk, “This is my body, Marshall, and I don’t want it recorded for everyone to see.”
“I think you’re forgetting something, YN,” He leans back in his chair and sparks up a cigarette, a look on his face that scares her and angers her all at the same time, “We’re married, you signed a contract to these studios – I own your body and what we want you to do with it.”
YN didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know whether to scream, cry or laugh her way out of the room. Instead, she stood up and spat, “Fuck you, Marshall,” at him and stormed out of the room.
There was no way in fuck that she was going back to work right now, and there was equally no way that she was going home where she may have to deal with the backlash of her actions towards her husband today – so she went to the next best place.
YN had found out about the bar that she had just walked into through some of the girls at the studio. It was a bar that many of the elite in Hollywood came to, mainly because it was underground and normally anything that happened there was kept under wraps by everybody there. It was an amazing bar, and YN loved it so much. She also knows that Marshall knows nothing about the bar, so she was completely safe.
Walking towards her normal seat at the bar, she sees that her favourite bartender in the entire world wiping a glass behind the bar. Once Bruno saw her, he beamed a smile in her direction and motioned for her to sit down. He immediately started making her a Manhattan, her favourite drink, and giving her an extra cherry because he knows she loves them.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, darling,” Bruno leans against the bar with a smile on his face, watching as she probably took a larger-than-ladylike gulp of her drink, “Rough day?”
“You know it,” She smiled at him as she slipped one of cherries off the stick and placed it into her mouth, “Thanks for this, Bruno.”
“Anytime, darling.”
To the watching eye, it would’ve been a sad sight to see YN sat by herself having multiple drinks, but it was what she needed. She didn’t know what she was going to go home to tonight and in the few months that she had been married to Marshall she knew that she could be walking into anything.
The last time that she had dared stand up in front of Marshall was a few weeks into her marriage to him, and it had ended up with him smacking her across the face. She didn’t know whether it was because he didn’t know what he signed up for when marrying her and thought that she was just going to be this perfect little wife that took everything that he said with a smile. That wasn’t the case, and YN really received the brunt of that.
That was the only singular time that Marshall had laid his hands on YN, but that was mainly because YN was strategic the next times that she said anything and made sure that she had an escape route planned so that she wouldn’t have to deal with anything like that again. Knowing that if she hadn’t left that office when she did, she would probably have had to endure something that scares her to death – but these were the games that she had to play.
YN didn’t know how long that she had been sat at the bar, but she knew that she had downed three Manhattan’s and Bruno was just placing down her fourth. She smiled at him, but he seemed to linger.
“What is it, Bruno?”
“You seem to have an admirer, Mrs. Miller.”
YN was confused by his words, but she knew that he obviously meant something. What YN didn’t expect was for probably the most handsome man she’d ever seen in her life. He was wearing a pinstripe suit, similar to her own but it was white and grey. His hat rested on the table next to him, and he had a drink which she could guess was whiskey in his hands. The second that he lifted up his drink to his lips, never breaking eye contact with her so she had to.
The second she looked away YN felt a heat rising right up her body. She pressed her hand up to the back of her neck, hoping that her hands were cool enough to spread through her body.
YN knew that she could attract men, but the circle that she was now in (especially being married to Marshall) meant that men sort of avoided her at all costs. However, right now Marshall was nowhere to be seen and every though she was in a place where some people she knows would be, there weren’t any here now. Even though that she could have some fun, she still had to remember that she was married.
That was a little bit difficult when she realised that he was no longer across the room from her but actually stood right next to her. Bruno looked at her once with wide eyes before turning to the stranger that had just invited himself to sit next to her.
“Another drink, Mr. Styles?”
“Please,” He nodded his head, placing his now empty glass on the bar in front of them, “And another one for the lady, on me.”
YN hadn’t notice that she had finished her drink, but once she had placed it down and took one fleeting glance in the stranger’s direction, she found herself heating up all over. She had definitely not expected a British accent. Even though she had quite a few drinks, she wasn’t drunk – maybe just a little tipsy.
“That really isn’t necessary, sir,” She placed her glass down, offered him a small smile and shook her head slightly.
“I think it is,” He nodded, “A beautiful girl shouldn’t be sat alone, paying for her own drinks.”
“Well…” YN had no idea what to say, and that wasn’t a state that she found herself in a lot, “Thank you, sir.”
“No problem,” As he leaned on the bar, turning on his side slightly so that he was looking directly at her she couldn’t help but look, even though every rational part of her brain was telling her not to, “It’s the least I can do.”
When both of their drinks were placed down in front of them, YN made it pretty obvious that she was married by picking up her drink that had her rings on it, and they weren’t rings that anyone could miss. It was Marshall’s second marriage, but he wasn’t sparing any expenses on his much younger bride.
YN watched his face as he realised, a light scoff of a laugh escaping his lips as he picked up his own drink.
“That’s a lovely rock you’ve got on your finger there.”
“Oh,” She extended her hand out in front of her, “This old thing?”
He laughed at her attempt at a joke (which seemed to work) and she couldn’t help but smile at his reaction. The way his face lifted when he laughed, and the dimples that he showed, and don’t even get her started on his hair.
“I must say, I am a little surprised to see a married lady in here without her husband to accompany her.”
“What’s to say he isn’t here? Or that I’m not waiting for him to come?”
“If you are waiting for him, he’s an asshole for making you wait forty minutes.”
The stranger had caught her there, but she made sure that her face was set so that he couldn’t see that he had shocked her.
“Oh, so you have been stalking me now, sir?”
“No, I wouldn’t say stalking,” He laughed, running a hand through his bouncy curls, “More so that I can admire beauty when I see it.”
YN couldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t enjoying the attention that she was receiving – because she very much was. This were the years that she was supposed to be in her prime, and the second that this handsome stranger took one look at her she should have had him in the palm of her hand. That wasn’t the case, as she always had Marshall lingering in the back of her mind.
Even though she knew that Marshall had been unfaithful to her (He was a director in Hollywood, for Christ’s sake) she didn’t know whether she could stoop to that level. There was also the slight issue of what Marshall would do to her, and the other person that was involved. There were so many moving parts to a marriage that was a business action, YN had quickly noticed.
“Anyway, who is this husband of yours? The one who doesn’t even come out for a drink with his wife?”
YN scoffed, slightly taken aback by audacity of this man to ask such a question when he hadn’t even told her his name, “Why would you like to know?”
“Maybe I know him,” He shrugs, “Know a lot of people around her, and I also wouldn’t be opposed to telling him how he’s supposed to treat a beauty like yourself.”
YN couldn’t believe what she is hearing, “Sir, what makes you think I’m just going to tell you my husband’s name and I don’t even know yours.”
“Harry Styles,” He holds his hand out for her, which she accepts with her ring clad hand.
“YN Miller.”
“Miller, that’s right,” He laughs, “I knew I recognised you. I do know who your husband is, Marshall Miller.”
Well, shit. That didn’t exactly go the way she planned, but at the end of the day everyone knew about her and Marshall. From the first time that they had been spotted outside the studio together, to the day that they made their red-carpet debut as a couple – everyone was reading about them.
There were times that it annoyed YN more than she could explain that every time she read an article about herself, the mentions of her acting came second every time to her marriage to Marshall. The marriage gave her the roles she wanted, but not the attention. The role in the new movie would give her the right attention, but if she followed through with the nudity she would be finished as an actress – that’s for sure.
“Of course, you do,” She smiles, “Thank you for the drink, Mr. Styles, but I think I may be off now.”
She grabs her purse and stand ups. As she turns to walk away, she feels a hand grab her wrist. It wasn’t harsh, but just a soft grip to keep her still.
“Look, I may know who your husband is, but my point still stands,” He offers her a smile, “And if you feel like this in the future, my band’s playing at Ciro next week and I’d love to see you there.”
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When YN walked into the house she lived in with Marshall, it was eerily silent. YN knew that he was here, because her car was on the driveway, it was just finding him that would be the main issue. YN knew that she wasn’t up for a fight, and that was why she decided to just kick off her heels and make her way upstairs.
Growing up in a small town, in a flat in New York that was as big as the bathrooms in this house meant that there was a lot for YN to get used to. The fact that sometimes she wasn’t even allowed to make her own food, or just clean if she wanted to really got to her. There were small domestic things that she grew up with that she missed, but it meant that she appreciated the people who did even more and treat them much better than Marshall ever did.
As she made her way upstairs, she beelined through the bedroom and into the closet where she knew that Marshall never went. So, imagine her surprise when he was sat there with his tie a mess and his shirt unbuttoned. To say that her husband was twenty years older than her, she couldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t handsome. The problem wasn’t his looks, or even his personality on his good days – but the way he treated people, YN included.
“You’re late,” He muttered into his glass as he lifted it up to his lips, “Where have you been?”
YN didn’t stand and look at him any longer. She started unfastening her necklace and walked over to her dressing table. Unfortunately, the way that the mirror was angled she could still see him staring at her.
“Sorry, I went out,” She placed her jewellery neatly on the side, “I was with Rosie and Sally. You know what it’s like when we get together – the time just runs away with us.”
“Huh,” He scoffs into his glass.
YN felt as though she had been caught, “What?”
“It’s just funny, that’s all,” He leant forward, placing his elbows on his knees, “Because just after you stormed out of my office, I went to find Rosie and Sally to ask where you were, and they hadn’t seen you.”
“I went to the bathroom first, if you really want to know,” She sighed, turning so that she was looking at him, “I went to the bathroom, for a while because I couldn’t believe that my husband was such an asshole and needed to get myself together before I went to find them.”
YN couldn’t believe sometimes that she was such a good bloody actress, on screen and in her daily life. It wasn’t like she couldn’t tell Marshall that she had gone to a bar on her own, but the lingering thought of Harry in the back of her mind and knowing that she didn’t know how well she would have been able to cover that up meant that she had to think on her feet.
Deciding enough was enough, she stood up and started to remove her clothes as she walked into the bathroom ready to take her makeup off.
“Don’t you walk away from me, YN!” 
“It wasn’t like you were saying anything, Marshall!”
As she made it into the bathroom, she leant forward on the counter with her hands and sighed. She knew that he wouldn’t be too far behind her, so when he walked in and grabbed her shoulders, tightly and turning her so that she was facing him – she wasn’t that shocked. However, the feeling of his nails pressing into her skin did have her wincing a little bit.
“We didn’t finish our conversation,” He says, and she can smell the alcohol so strong on his breath.
“It sounded like we had, Marshall,” She responded, trying to ignore the feeling of her on his skin.
“I’m not talking about that bullshit in there,” He spits, “I’m talking about the conversation in my office earlier.”
YN prided herself on the fact that not much in this life scared her, but Marshall was the one thing that scared her continuously.
“I told you, Marshall,” Her voice came out a little meeker now, “I’m not doing it.”
“It’s not up for discussion, YN,” He lets out a deep breath, “Think of all the money we’ll get. People want to see you, I mean, who wouldn’t?”
“I’m not doing it Marshall,” She shakes him off her and he stumbles back. He runs a hand over his face and starts to walk in a circle, “I told you; I’m not parading myself just because it’ll get your rocks off seeing me naked on the big screen. I don’t care about the money.”
He stalked closer to her, so that they were almost nose to nose and lifted his hand up and placed his thumb and pointer finger together, “You’re this close, YN. This. Close.”
He was pushing her further and further towards the counter, so that her back was painfully pressed against it, and she couldn’t breathe properly. She knew that there was only one way that was going to be fixed if she didn’t think on her feet.
“Look, Marshall, I’m not going to get fully nude – I won’t,” He let out such a deep breath that his nostrils flared, and she was bracing for impact, she even lifted up her hands, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything.”
He dropped his hands away from her and took a step back, “What do you mean?”
“Why don’t you do what the French are doing, eh?” She shrugged her shoulders, watching as he started to pace, “Why don’t you tease it?” He wasn’t saying anything, so she continued, trying to regulate her breathing as she did so, “The scene, yeah? She’s taking her robe off for him in their bedroom, how about the camera isn’t on her front, but it cuts to her back. And it stops, so it’s teasing her without fully showing everything. It can just be the top of my arse, Marshall.”
When he continues to not say anything, she moves towards him slightly so that he’s stood in front of her.
“Think about Marshall, when everybody knows that may get to see me nude, but they’re teased with it,” She places a light hand on his back, and he turns to look at her, “The money will be even better than if we did show my whole body, because people will be wanting more.”
He nods his head and looks at her with a beaming smile on his face. She squealed slightly as he placed a hand under her thighs and lifted her up, so she was sat on the counter.
“Knew there was a reason I married you,” He smiled, leaning to place a kiss to her neck, “Not just a pretty face, are you?”
Even though she should have been enjoying herself in the company of her husband at this point, the fear that she had felt earlier was still there and for some reason, all she could think about was the curly haired man that she had met earlier.
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YN had really debated going to Ciro the following week. There were pros and cons to going, but all she could think of was the shit that her husband had put her through during the week and how she could feel like a young woman if she went and saw the man, she had met the prior week.
It didn’t take long for that decision to be made for her when she had been speaking to Rosie and Sally earlier and it had somehow been brought up in conversation that she had received an invitation by Harry Styles himself to watch him in Ciro and the two of them had almost burst in excitement at that revelation.
That’s what lead YN to be stood outside the queue of Ciro, Sally and Rosie in tow as she finally made it towards the front. The was a man stood outside the door with a clipboard, and the largest man that YN had ever seen in her life.
“Name?”
YN had no idea that she was supposed have her name on a list, and she knew it was probably very unlikely that her name was on the list.
“Uh, YN Miller.”
“Oh,” The man with the clipboard seemed shocked when he looked up to see her stood there, “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Miller. Mr. Styles has reserved a table for you. I’ll show you there now.”
Even though YN was a little shocked and surprised, with one fleeting glance and Sally and Rosie she nodded and followed the man into the club. This wasn’t her first time in Ciro’s, but it was the first time she had been, and it was so packed. YN was convinced that they had even put extra tables in.
“This is for you, Mrs. Miller. The best seats in the house,” He smiled and pulled her chair out for her.
“Thank you,” She smiled politely.
“Please let us know if we can get you anything,” He smiled, “Mr. Styles has left a bottle of champagne for you and your guests.”
“Thank you.”
When the man walked away, and a waiter came over to open the champagne she couldn’t believe what was happening around her. Rosie and Sally looked as though they were going to burst (for the second time that day). Once the glasses were poured and the waiter had moved away, YN turned to her friends with wide eyes.
“I had no idea that this was going to happen,” She laughed, picking up the glass in front of her, “But I’m not complaining.”
“How did you even meet this man?” Rosie asks, picking up her own glass.
“I told you!” YN laughs, “I met him at Bruno’s. I was sat on my own and he joined, that’s it.”
“You must have made a lasting impression to receive a reserved table, and a bottle of champagne, YN.”
YN laughed, “I honestly didn’t. I forgot that it had happened until you mentioned him earlier.”
That was a lie, and a big one at that. YN had spent the last week toying with herself. Every time Marshall was nice, she felt guilty for even considering it, but the second he went back to his own ways she wanted to go even more. Today they had filmed the scene that had caused all those arguments and if that hadn’t made her completely sure that she was going, then the conversation with Sally and Rosie earlier surely did.
What YN hadn’t realised from their conversation was that Harry was just as famous as she was in Hollywood, and probably the world. YN even knew some of his songs (Sally and Rosie were big fans), but she had never seen his face or known his name so she couldn’t correlate the two together.
“I think you forget that we know you, YN,” Sally adds, “And we can tell that something has been on your mind.”
“It was nice, okay?” YN shrugs, “That was it. Nice to feel like I wasn’t a twenty-two-year-old married woman for once, and that someone was interested in me. Now shut up so we can watch the show and enjoy.”
YN knew that Harry was talented just by the few songs that she had heard, but nothing could have prepared her for hearing him live. The way that Harry commanded the stage, and how everyone in the room was just mesmerised by him when he opened his mouth was something that nobody could prepare her for.
YN didn’t know how long that he was singing for, but she didn’t look anywhere but him. It was about halfway through when he noticed her, and even had to do a double take just to make sure that she was actually there. It made her laugh, and he couldn’t hide her smile. He didn’t stop though; it was as though he was born to be on that stage, and everybody was eating it up.
Just before the end of his set, he called one of the waiters over to the bottom of the stage and whispered something in his ear. YN couldn’t help but be intrigued at what he had said, but the ending of his and the standing ovation ended that quickly.
“Thank you everyone, and thank you Crio for being lovely hosts,” He smiles, pushing his hair back of his face, “I’m Harry Styles, and we’ll be here for the next few nights if you’re interested in coming again. Thank you!”
As he and his band left the stage, YN couldn’t help the beaming smile that was on her face. All of the worries that she had in the world didn’t matter at this point, because she had one of the best nights of her life.
“Sorry, Mrs. Miller,” YN nodded and leaned closer to the waiter so that she could hear him over the chatter in the room, “Mr. Styles has invited you and your party backstage.”
“Oh,” YN looked at Rosie and Sally to see their opinion on the matter, and their beaming smiles suggested that it was maybe a good idea, “Thank you, yes.”
The girls picked up their purses and followed the waiter through a side door, and down a long corridor until they were stood in front of a door that said ‘H.Styles’ on it. He knocked twice before opening the door, revealing Harry and his band sat on the sofas with drinks in their hands.
“Mr. Styles, your guests.”
As Harry realised that it was YN walking in, he immediately stood up and made his way over to her.
“Mrs. Miller, a pleasure,” He placed a kiss to her hand, which had her biting her lip. He then turned to the waiter and thanked him before turning back to her, “Thank you for joining me, and I’d like to thank your guests for coming too.”
Once introductions had been made throughout the entire group, Rosie and Sally found them conversing with Harry’s guitarist, Mitch, and drummer, Sarah. YN was sat on a sofa with the man himself, a Manhattan in her hand that Harry had ordered without a blink of his eye. YN had almost known Marshall a year and he still couldn’t get her drink right. He had even remembered the extra cherries.
“So,” He smiled, sipping his own drink, “Did you enjoy the show?”
“I did,” She laughed, “Who know there was so much talent hiding behind all that hair?”
He laughed, and YN couldn’t help but joining in. There was an ease about talking to him, as though she didn’t have to worry about anything that she said because she knew that there wouldn’t be a single repercussion.
“But in all seriousness, Mr. Styles,” She smiled, “Thank you. It was an amazing show, and you were ever so generous to us.”
“No need for the Mr. Styles here, Mrs. Miller,” He shook his head, “Please just call me, Harry.”
“Only if you promise to call me, YN,” She smiled, “Mrs. Miller makes me sound so old.”
He laughed, shaking his head, “I don’t think I should comment on that.”
“No, I don’t think you should either.”
The conversation just flowed between them. They discussed their childhoods – when YN realised, she wanted to be an actress, and when Harry realised, he wanted to be singer. There was never a lull in the conversation, and she laughed in a way that she hadn’t for a while. Not only was this man handsome and talented, but he was funny as well? It was as though YN couldn’t catch a break.
“I’m going to go out for a smoke,” He placed his drink down and stood up, “Would you like to join me?”
YN didn’t even hesitate before agreeing. She stood up and followed the man outside, watching as he lit his cigarette and blew it out in such a way that she was almost having to cross her legs. YN wanted to feel guilty, she really did – but she just couldn’t.
“Should you really be doing that?” She asked, accepting the cigarette from him, “Doesn’t it ruin your voice?”
“I probably shouldn’t,” He shrugged, and YN couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach as she wrapped her lips around the cigarette where his own had just been, “But, as they say, it’s easier to start them then stop them.”
YN laughed and passed it back to Harry. She leant against the wall, moving a rock around lightly with her shoe. There was one question that she had wanted to ask Harry since getting her, but she just hadn’t had the nerve to until now, since he was alone with just her.
“Harry?” She asked, looking up at him as he hummed and nodded in her direction, “Why did you invite me here?”
“What do you mean?” He shrugged, moving closer to YN so that he was stood leant on the wall near where she was stood.
“Well, you could’ve invited anyone to come and watch you. It isn’t as though your limited on options,” YN shrugged, “It isn’t as though there’s a romantic element between us, seeing as though I’m married.”
“There isn’t?”
“Excuse me?” YN couldn’t help the furrow in her eyebrows at his words. She truly had no idea what he was getting at by saying what he did.
“I’m just a little confused by you saying that there isn’t a romantic element between us,” He shrugs, dropping the cigarette on the ground and stubbing it with his shoe, “I’m just a little confused, married or not, why you would come if you didn’t feel anything.”
“There is such thing as a man and woman being friends, Harry.”
“Is that all this is, YN?” He asks, and YN has to ignore the flips in her stomach as he walks towards her, stopping just inches away from her, “Friends?”
“Harry –”
“If friends are all you see this as, then friends are all we’ll be,” He says, not taking his eyes away from hers, “But I can’t lie and say that I don’t really want to kiss you right now.”
Even though YN should be thinking of Marshall right now, her husband, all she can think about is how it would feel to kiss Harry. More specifically, right at this very second. There had never been any attraction (on her part, anyway) between herself and Marshall, but that wasn’t the case between herself and Harry. In all honesty, she doesn’t think she’s ever been attracted to anyone like she is with Harry. It made it so much easier that there wasn’t just an attraction, but an ease when they talked as well – as though she could say anything to him.
“We won’t do anything you don’t want to do, YN, I promise.”
“You still didn’t answer my question, Harry,” She noted, “Why me? Out of everyone you’re seeking out the one thing that you can’t really have.”
“It may be wrong, but I know what I feel YN, and I think you feel the same way.”
Even though YN hesitated before saying the next words, he was right. YN did feel the same way, and even though it was wrong she couldn’t help it. She felt guilty, but maybe if Marshall was nicer to her, she may not have been able to go through with it.
YN nodded her head lightly, whispering, “I do feel the same way.”
Those words were all it took for Harry to lean forward and place his lips on hers. The feeling of Harry kissing her, and his hands on her skin were unlike anything she’d ever felt before in her life. YN couldn’t remember the last time she kissed someone that wasn’t on-screen or her husband, and it felt nice to kiss someone that she wanted to. His hands on her cheek, and she gripped his shirt to pull him closer to her.
YN was the first to pull away, mainly because she was running out of breath, but she couldn’t help the smile that etched across her lips. Harry had one on his too, a boyish smile that she just wanted to kiss off his lips.
She let out a sigh and dropped her head back against the brick of the wall behind her, “Shit.”
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The next time YN saw Harry was a week later. Marshall was out at meal with some of his friends, and she had claimed that she wasn’t up for socialising and was just going to go home to bed. What Marshall didn’t know was that she was going over to Harry’s apartment that he rented whilst he was in town.
For about a week after she and Harry kissed against the wall around the back of Ciro’s she had felt ever so guilty. It was only until around halfway through the week that YN walked into his office and his secretary was just leaving and he not only had his tie askew, but he also had lipstick around his face and the entire room smelt of sex. YN decided that the best thing she could do was to ignore it, but that didn’t mean that she hadn’t noticed it.
It meant that she was more excited to see Harry and have an intellectual conversation with him and just enjoy herself. It was nice to feel wanting, and that’s what Harry made her feel.
That’s why she was enjoying herself more than she was going to admit, sitting at his dining table as she watched him flounce around the kitchen making sure that everything was made for their dinner to perfection. It wouldn’t have been the best decision for them to go out, seeing as though anyone could have spotted them so Harry had offered to cook, and YN wasn’t going to say no.
“Just you wait,” He smiled at her as he drained out the water from the pasta, “This is going to blow your mind – the best pasta you’ve ever had.”
“Is that so?” She grinned, “Well, we’ll just have to see. I’ve had my fair share of amazing meals if I do say so myself.”
“Nothing like this, darling,” He grinned, shaking the pasta out, “I promise.”
There was something about watching him in the kitchen that YN could get used to. The little apron he had one, and the slightly flustered state that he was in. She was smiling throughout the entire time he was in the kitchen, and also afterwards when they were eating.
In all honesty, it was one of the best meals that YN had every had. He had made pasta in a tomato sauce with chicken and peppers, and she was enjoying every mouthful. She would never tell Harry that was the case, but by the way she finished her entire plate he maybe had a slight suspicion that was the case.
Throughout the entire meal, the tension that was brewing between the two of them was becoming slightly unbearable.  It also didn’t help that she had a glass of red wine (which she doesn’t normally drink) and her cheeks were burning throughout the entire thing.
YN had offered to clean up the plates, but Harry shook his head and took them from her. She thought she was going to have to sit and watch him clean up the plates, but he just placed them in the sink and made his way over to her. It didn’t take long for him to be stood right in front of her and lean down to peck her on the lips.
YN lifted her hands up to wrap around his neck and that was all he needed to place his hands under her thighs and scoop her up, ignoring everything around them as he placed her upon his dining room table. As they pulled away, YN couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. He raised one of his eyebrows at her.
“You laughing at me?” Harry speaks, leaning down to pressed kisses along her exposed neck, “Sure you want to be doing that?”
“I don’t know,” She shrugs, “What are you going to do if I do?”
He tugged her closer to him by her ankles, so that her legs were spread around his waist, “Just you wait and see.”
YN lifts her bum up slightly so that he can pull her trousers and panties down in one swoop. It felt strange to YN to be this bare in front of someone who wasn’t her husband, but the way that Harry was looking at her stopped all of the worries within her head.
Harry knelt down on the floor, so he was exactly face height with her. He placed kisses along her thighs as he made his way towards the part of her that she really needed him at. YN’s chest was rising and falling so quickly that she felt as though she may combust at any moment, but she knew that she had to keep it together. Once he had made it to that delicious spot between her legs, he couldn’t help but lean forward and place a kiss right on her wetness. Even the slightest of touch had YN withering – she honestly couldn’t believe how sensitive she was.
“Please, Harry,” Her back was beginning to arch off the table at how he was teasing her, “Please.”
“Please, what?” He asked, looking up at her with a grin on his face, “What do you want, love?”
“I want you to touch me, please.”
“Your wish is my command,” Without even a single hesitation, Harry leant forward and crashed his mouth right into her.
The feeling of his tongue against her, and his legs pushing her thighs apart, so she was completely exposed to him had her head dropping back in ecstasy. YN felt as though she was flooded down there, and he seemed to lap ever drop up with no complaints. It wasn’t until he started to swirl his tongue around her clit that she truly felt shock-waves throughout her body.
YN physically couldn’t arch her back off the table any further, and her head drops back with quite a heavy thump but all she could think about was the feeling of him along her sensitive nerve. He continues to flick her clit over and over, making sure that no matter how much she wanted to close her legs that she couldn’t. Not knowing what to grab, she reached forward and thread her fingers through his hair. Her mouth parted, and her breathing started to become more and more heavy, and her heart was beating faster than it ever had before.
YN had never felt anything like this before in her life. Obviously, her and Marshall have had sex in the past, but it was all about him and never about her. YN had never had somebody lick her there before, and in all honestly, she could get used to it more often.
“Oh, God, Harry!” He continued to attack her clit, and as he quickened the pace of his tongue, she knew that she wasn’t going to last much longer. YN had never felt so turned on in her life, and this wonderful man in between her legs was who she had to thank for that.
Harry is indicated that YN is close by the way her thighs started to tremble, and he tried his hardest to keep them still with pressure on them. Knowing that she’s so close, he works harder to make sure that she gets there. He switches between licking to sucking to then even flicking her clit quickly with his tongue. YN is fully pushed over the edge when he sneakily pushes one of his fingers into her, not stopping his attack of her clit.
“Harry!”
The sound of his name tumbling from her mouth only spurs him on further. YN’s orgasm ripples through her body, and her back arches so far off the table until she’s fully sat up. Even though she would want nothing more than to be looking at Harry, she physically can’t, and her eyes are firmly clamped shut. YN was gripping his hair so tight that it must have been painful for him, but she was so out of it that she had no idea.
YN’s body jerks as he pulls his mouth off of her, and slowly removes his fingers. Almost automatically, her weak knees buckle, and she’s propelled forward into his chest. He happily catches her and moves some of her damp hair off her face. When she finally opens her eyes, he’s beaming down at her with a smile on his face.
“Hi,” She smiles, trying to push herself deeper into Harry’s chest if that was even possible.
“Hi, darling,” He laughs, placing a kiss to the top of her head, “That good?”
“So good,” She lifts her head up to look at him and accepts a kiss to her lips, “Never felt like that before, Harry.”
“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”
“Very.”
The very idea of going home right now was the last thing on YN’s mind. In fact, she would rather do anything else that have to go back to Marshall in all of his glory. There was no chance that YN would ever be as comfortable with Marshall as she is with Harry.
The conversation just flowed so easily between them, and YN felt happy. It was such a shame that she couldn’t just stay and that she did have to go home. That didn’t stop Harry from giving her the hardest kiss she’d ever received before she left, so hard that she could feel her lips tingling from it when she stepped through the front door of her house.
A few weeks later when YN was called into Marshall’s office she couldn’t lie and say that there wasn’t a spring in her step.
The night after her first time at Harry’s, YN had been giggling at the memory at the most random times throughout the day. YN had been fast asleep in bed when Marshall had come home, and he had left when she woke up meaning that she hadn’t had to see him. His side of the bed had been obviously slept on last night, meaning that he had at least come home but she had no idea in what state.
Due to the fact that she had been teased by Harry at the experience of being with him, she wanted to be with him at any chance she got. That meant that whenever YN got any chance to sneak away from her real life and go see Harry, she did. YN was enjoying being with Harry so much, that it started to become so difficult to go home to Marshall who she knew would never make her feel the way that Harry did.
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YN had no idea why she was being called into Marshall’s office, but when she saw the set look on his face the smile immediately dropped off her face.
“Take a seat, YN,” This certainly didn’t feel as though this was a husband talking to his wife.
“Everything okay?”
The second she sat down; Marshall slapped a newspaper down in front of her. YN reached forward to grab it and her heart immediately dropped to the put of her stomach at the headline across the main page of the newspaper.
Hollywood’s married sweetheart seen leaving rock-star Harry Styles’ apartment multiple times over the last few weeks.
They had been caught. YN couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t even as though they had been caught by Marshall, they had been caught by the media. YN didn’t know at this point if she would have rather been caught by Marshall and not have the whole world find out about it before she was ready for anyone else to.
YN was terrified to look up at Marshall. She didn’t know what to expect when she looked up at him from behind the paper. The second she did feel the confidence to place it down, YN felt as though anything could happen with the look on Marshall’s face.
“Is it true?”
“Marshall I –”
“Is it true?” The next time he asks he shouts at her, and the loud bang of his fist on his table had her jumping in her seat.
There was no way that she could lie. If she did, he was going to see right through her, and she had no idea how he would react to it. So, she decided to just tell the truth, no matter how difficult it may be.
“Yes,” Her voice came out as a whisper, but the look on Marshall’s face saw that he had heard her. She was so thankful that there was a desk between them because she had no idea what would happen if that wasn’t the case.
“Do you know what this means for us, YN?” He spits at her, “Do you know?”
“I’m so sorry, Marshall,” The tears were starting to collect in her eyes, “I really am.”
“You don’t get to be sorry, YN,” He dropped his hand on the table again, “You’re the one that’s been fucking everything you see.”
“It was one time, Marshall!” YN exclaimed and even though she was crying, there was an anger to her words as well, “Not like you. You’re the one who fucks everything you see, Marshall!”
“This isn’t about me, YN!” He stands up, both of his hands upon the desk, “This is about you, and what you’ve been doing.”
“So, you can fuck anybody that you want to for the entire time that we’ve been married, but the second that I find someone who cares about me and wants to be with me, I’m the worse one in this relationship?”
“You belong to me YN!” He exclaims, “Me! Not the fucking rockstar that you’ve been getting your rocks off with.”
“I belong to you?” She asks, unable to believe what she was hearing, “And do you not belong to me, Marshall?”
“We all known that isn’t the case, YN,” He shrugs, “I’m a director in Hollywood. I’m the best of the best. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
“Okay, Marshall,” That was all that it takes for YN to stand up, trying not to let him stop her from what she was about to do. Without any hesitation, YN pulls her wedding and engagement ring off of her hand and places it on the table in front of them. YN could see Marshall’s nostril’s flaring and she tried to ignore it but there was no way that she was going to get out of this unharmed, “We’re done.”
“That’s not your decision to make, YN.”
“It is, Marshall,” She shook her head at him, “I’m not putting up with this anymore, and you’re not going to stop me.”
“I think you’re forgetting that you have a contract with this studio.”
“For five films, Marshall,” YN spits, “And what film did we just finish – number five or did you forget?”
The look on his face that he knew she was right was all that YN needed to make her way towards the door. Just as she threw the door open, she was stopped right in her tracks by a glass breaking just by her head. Even though YN knew that the glass had cut her, and she could feel the sting over her body – she couldn’t stop now.
YN only hesitated for a second and she was out of that door and slamming it behind her.
“Get back here, YN!” Marshall shouted so loudly that the entire studio probably heard them, “We’re not done.”
They were, and YN knew that her life now had changed but she was ready for anything that it flew at her. She knew that even though she was now on her own, she wasn’t.
It didn’t take her long to fly home in her car, probably running every red light as she did. Hopefully she wouldn’t get pulled over by anyone but there was the possibility that she could be. The second she got to the house, she rushed up to her closet and grabbed everything that she could. Everything that could fit in her bag that she cared about, including her jewellery from her mother and all of her personal belongings.
The feeling of fleeing with her bag down the steps and out of her house reminded her of when she left home to come to Hollywood in the first place. It was almost a year ago that she moved, and here she was praying that the next year of her life wasn’t like this one.
It didn’t take her long to leave the house and make her way towards Harry’s house. The entire time she cried. It felt as though a part of her life was over, and not only that but she didn’t know how she was going to continue in her career. Her marriage and possibly her career was over in the space of one decision. She was going to have to work in the future, but all she needed now was to find Harry and make everything right.
The second she was outside Harry’s door, knocking on it and he saw her tattered and upset state, with a bag clutched in her hand he didn’t even hesitate before pulling her into his arms.
“It’s okay, you’re safe now,” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I’ve got you.”
The second that Harry had seen her, tears streaming down her face and cuts on her arms and legs he was absolutely fuming. He immediately pulled her into his arms and carried her towards the bathroom where he placed her on the counter with such ease so he could start tending to her.
As he was cleaning up the cuts, he kept looking at her with a nervousness, “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
There was a gap between his question and her response, but when he noticed that there were tears rolling down her face, he decided not to question her further until she was ready to answer all of his questions.
“I left him,” She muttered quietly after a while. Harry had anticipated it, but he didn’t want to pry.
“And he did this?” YN didn’t say anything, but the timid nod of her head gave him everything that he needed.
In all of the time that Harry had known YN, he had never known her so timid in all of his life. It was as though the events that had transpired had really knocked her, and she had no idea how to bring herself back from it.
“I’m going to kill him,” Harry shook his head, surprised by how angry he was at the news that she had just told him.
“No,” She shook her head and clawed at his shirt until he was facing her again, “I just need you with me, please don’t leave me.”
“I’m never going to leave you,” He leant down and placed a kiss to her forehead, “I never will.”
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Regaining the popularity that YN had before when she worked at Marshall’s wasn’t as difficult as she thought it may have been. It had turned out that even though she was now divorced and had left the studio that the majority of the people in Hollywood saw as failure in this town, she found a studio just around the corner that was happy to take her.
The difference that YN found was that there was that due to the relationships being completely professional, they actually listened to what she had to say. She even had a clause in her contract that stated no nudity, and it was the best thing that YN had ever seen in black and white in front of her.
Every premiere that she had been to before this was, she had been cast in Marshall’s shadow, but this one was all about her and she was going to make sure that it was known. The dress that she had chosen was a beautiful baby pink with a skirt laced with feathers that had so much movement all she wanted to do was twirl around it.
“You look gorgeous,” Harry had said to her when he had seen her come out of the bathroom, fully dressed, and looking like the most beautiful person on this earth, “How did I get so lucky with you?”
“How did you get so lucky with me? I think that it’s I got lucky with you.”
Ever since she divorced Marshall in the previous year, Harry had been by her side. He hadn’t actually left it. For the first few months they had lived in his apartment before deciding that it was time that they actually bought a house. There had been a few moments where Harry had to leave to go to another state for a show, but he always came back to her.
This premiere for her latest film was the first time that the two of them had been seen out in public together, as a proper couple. It was a little nerve-wracking for YN, and for Harry as this was the first red carpet that he had ever walked but he wanted to be there for her and support her.
This was the last time that they were going to be together for a while, as the next day he was going on tour. YN originally had planned to go with him, but she had been given the script for a new film and there was no way that she was missing out on it. It was going to be the film of the century she believed, that was if she had anything to do with it.
It was strange being with someone who had such a real love for watching her succeed. YN was so nervous when she went home after receiving the script but the second, she had showed him the script and explained to him how excited she was about it, he had grabbed her face and kissed all of the worry out of her.
“You ready?” He smiled at her, lifting her hand up to his mouth to press a kiss to her hand.
She laughed and smiled at his antics, “As I’ll ever be.”
“Good,” He leaned forward and placed a small kiss to her lips, wanting to not mess up her lipstick, “Let’s get this done then.”
He climbed out of the car first and YN could hear the screaming from the second that he opened the car. Even though this was a movie premiere, it was obvious that there were some of his fans in the crowd. Her door was the next to open and she stepped out, waving to the people as she did so. Everybody seemed so happy to see her, and she couldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t slightly nervous about the entire thing. The nerves disappeared the second Harry came to stand next to her, and she placed her arm through his and they started to walk together. It just felt so right, and so natural to be doing this with Harry.
“YN!” A reporter called from across the carpet at her, and with Harry in tow she made her way over to him. YN recognised him (probably from a previous red carpet), “How are you tonight?”
“I’m well, thank you for asking,” She smiled, really trying to remember all of her media training that she had been given.
“You look absolutely stunning tonight, and we’re all so excited to see the movie.”
“Thank you so much, I’m very excited for you all to see it. It’s amazing if I do say so myself.”
“It’s your movie, of course you can say that!” The reporter laughed with her, “But I do just have to mention, in the last year you really found yourself in the backend of the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, are you afraid that’s going to shine over the film?”
YN couldn’t believe how cutthroat the reporter was straight away, but she tried to ignore it to the best that she could and answered the question the best way she knew how.
“It has certainly been a difficult past year for me, but I’m so excited to be working and have this beautiful film for you all to see,” She smiled, basically ignoring everything that he said, “I’m happy, and I hope this film makes some other people happy. Thank you.”
“Thank you, YN.”
YN immediately grabbed Harry’s arm again, and they beelined for the entrance. It was the first time that she had ever spoken of the events of last year, and she was praying that she had done okay.
“How was that? Did I answer it? Should I have said anything else?”
The second that they were in the safety of the building, she really let go of all of the questions that were swirling around in her head. Harry laughed and leaned forward to place a kiss on her lips.
“You were amazing darling, don’t even worry about it.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you think so, I was so nervous.”
“I know you were,” He laughed, wrapping his arm around her, “Now how about we get some popcorn and go see this fantastic film that you’re in?”
“That sounds perfect.”
And perfect it really was.
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prkwook · 6 months
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MUSE 🎨 shen ricky
☆ pairing: artist bf!ricky x gn!reader
☆ genre: fluff
☆ wc: ~ 0.9k
☆ summary: ricky finds a muse in a stranger that would eventually become his one true love
☆ warnings: use of petnames (love, babe, hot stuff), y/n is called beautiful by ricky
☆ note: based on a req i got recently asking for artist ricky & of course i had to bc who doesn't love artist ricky?
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"the gracious muse who tuned my soul to pure harmonies, i became fond of her, and, as it often seemed to me, she of me." - ludwig van beethoven
Being a musician, you always heard talk about having a muse but you never expected to be someone’s. You certainly had found your own in your longtime boyfriend, Ricky. When you love someone as much as you loved him, creating art with them in mind becomes second-nature. Little did you know that he felt the same way about you long before you met.
“Hey y/n, do you mind if we stop by my studio on the way home? I forgot my paint brushes there this afternoon and I need them for class tomorrow. It’ll be quick, I promise.” your blond-haired boyfriend says to you as he helps you get your coat on.
“Yeah, of course!” you respond with a smile. You secretly love going to his art studio. You’ve always loved seeing his art, seeing the things he can create with just a pencil, some paint and paintbrush. In the past 3 years you’ve been together, his talent has never ceased to amaze you.
“Thank you, y/n.” he says, giving you a kiss on the forehead. The familiar feeling of butterflies creeps up and makes you blush. In order to distract him from your rosy cheeks, you take hold of his hand and lead him out of the Thai restaurant you were regulars at. 
As always, he walks over with you to the driver side of the car he bought you for your first anniversary and opens the door for you. In an effort to make you laugh, he pretends to climb into the driver seat. He pats the covered passenger seat and without missing a beat, he says “Hop in, hot stuff, let me take you for a ride.” in the most Chad voice ever, finishing off the bit with a wink. You laugh and give him a small slap to the arm. Mission = success! 
Still laughing, you respond with “Okay Max Verstappen… you and what license?” As he climbs out of the car, he says something along the lines of “fair” and then offers you his hand to help you into the seat he had just occupied. Once he’s seated in his passenger princess throne, he queues up your go-to playlist and buckles up. You don’t need any directions since you know the route by heart. You can’t even count how many times you’ve driven these roads, bringing pick-up to his studio so you can keep him company on those inevitable late nights. 
You park in your usual spot and hop out. Just like the gentleman he is, Ricky is already at your side, ready to offer a hand for you to take and as always, you take it and walk with him into the studio. Once you walk in, Ricky departs to go find his missing items with a “I’ll be right back, love.” and you’re left by yourself and his art. Looking around, a sketchbook laying open on his desk catches your eye. At first, you don’t want to look but curiosity gets the best of you and you sneak a glance. It’s a sketch of you sitting on stage with your cello, deeply immersed in the piece you were playing but somehow you still look completely at peace.
You remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the spring talent show and your high school orchestra teacher had signed you up without you knowing. You found out a day after the deadline to drop out, so you were stuck doing it. The day of, your stage fright was so bad that you almost considered just not showing up, but something in the back of your mind told you that you had to go and so you did. When it was your turn, you walked nervously out onto stage with your cello in one hand and your sheet music in the other. Once seated, you looked out into the audience and made eye contact with a red-haired boy. He smiled at you and nodded, as if queuing you up to start. During the song, you would periodically glance over at him and he was always there with a smile and a look of encouragement. That red-haired boy not only turned out to be the boy you now call your boyfriend but also that was the day that you discovered your love for the cello. 
“Hey babe, what is this?” you called out to Ricky, who was now walking back towards you, paintbrushes in hand.
“Oh, this? Nothing, just my old sketchbook from high school. Why?”  
“Look at this. We didn’t even know each other then.” you say with a laugh. 
“I know. I just thought you looked beautiful while playing. And clearly, I like drawing beautiful things.” He gestures to the wall behind him that’s full of sketches and paintings clearly inspired by you. 
“Wait… when did you do this? I’ve never seen this before.”
“It was kind of supposed to be a surprise for your birthday but I forgot so … Surprise!” He sheepishly grins and attempts to do jazz hands.
All you can do is laugh and pull him in. You give him a kiss and look him in the eyes. 
“Thank you, sweet boy. It’s beautiful.”
You realize in this moment that you would give anything to be able to be his muse in every life.
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starshapedkookie · 2 years
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Grapejuice
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→ Why must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well, just say goodnight and go
pairing: jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung x reader)
genre: strangers to lovers (?), art student jungkook, art apprentice reader, angst, smut, fluff, art university au, oc is older than jungkook (only by 1 year), kind of inspired by titanic(?? idk just bear with me lol) *also i went to normal college, no idea how art universities work*
warnings: swearing, feelings of being lost, thoughts of infidelity… infidelity, descriptive smut (oral fem. receiving, fingering, protected sex, multiple orgasms, jk is big y'all!), smoking (cigarettes & 🍃), themes of being lost, sad, nepotism, everyone is lowkey a villain lmao
summary: At 24, your life was lined up to be perfect; talented, nice apartment, amazing boyfriend, and a dream job. Working as an art apprentice for Kim Seokjin was the exact opportunity you needed to kickstart your art career. However, after you’ve hit a creative wall at full speed, you feel more lost than ever. It’s not until one person shows up with no brakes on in your life that not only changes your entire perspective, but takes your breath away in the process.
word count: around 36k (i was in a silly goofy mood💀🤓)
all feedback is very much appreciated! i hope y'all enjoy!
Jungkook’s hand that’s on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. There’s mere inches between you two now, but it’s comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the world—the party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. He’s everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that you’re a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just don’t know exactly how it could have reached this point. 
1 Month Earlier
If there was one thing about being an artist—it’s that it can absolute torture. You hated to admit how right-brained you actually were. You felt as if your mind moved much faster and more chaotic than most people. It wasn’t anything you couldn’t function with—you had dealt with it your whole life, finding different outlets for your energy and itchiness. You couldn’t remember the exact age that you picked up a crayon, but you knew it was younger than most.
A lot of your childhood seems to be a blur, only a few memories sticking out like a bookmark at times. One of the most prominent being at age 5 when you took a few Sharpies and marked all over the dining room wall, drawing what you thought to be a field of flowers. Turns out, it was just a black scribbled mess that ended up with you hiding in your room, terrified of how angry your mother had gotten at you. You had learned your lesson that day that the wall should not be your canvas of choice. 
Crayons turned to colored pencils turned to watercolor turned to oils turned to whatever you could grab and extend your talent further. You hadn’t taken the original school route—your dad putting you in a special junior school for artists, all the way up until you graduated high school. Naturally, this lead you to going to university to major in the fine arts. As you sit here in your studio now, you’re unsure if that was the smartest decision. 
The funny thing about artists is that you’re sure they are the type of people who crave and desperately need the most validation of any profession. You valued positive reinforcement to the point it could be crippling. You’re sure that it stems from some type of child-like validation you never received from really either of your parents. They were always hard on you but your dad was the more lenient one of the two; your mom too selfish in her own abilities to look your way. 
You glance up to the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearing 3 in the afternoon which means you only have one class left for today. You were by no means a professor, however as part of your apprenticeship—it was required by your senior, Kim Seokjin, to assist some of his lectures. Like you, Kim Seokjin was a tortured soul with such talent that it was hard to comprehend as an onlooker. You were nearing 25, Seokjin was over 30 and he had built much more of a name for himself than you probably ever would. Despite the hundreds of artists just in the area surrounding the neighborhood and university, he was one of the best. He taught only the uppermost level classes at the university, handpicking the students himself to teach. You were lucky enough to have kissed his ass enough as an undergrad for him to accept you into his apprenticeship program. It didn’t pay much—starving artists was an absolutely true trope—but it paid the bills and at least you weren’t in a crippling, life-draining office job. 
You give one last glance to the large canvas in front of you before throwing in your colorfully stained apron over an easel in the corner. 
You check off the mental note to bring Seokjin the rest of the paint he wanted for today’s last class. You hurry into his own smaller studio/office that’s right near yours and pick up the tray of paints he’s set out. Afraid that you’ll be late for class—which was Seokjin’s biggest pet peeve, you hurry out of his office and back down to the main classroom. As you turn down the main corridor, you don’t even recognize what’s happened when you crash into a body, slipping backwards and letting go of the tray of paints, halfway falling backwards with a yelp until something—someone—manages to catch your fall just in time. 
Your eyes are completely ignoring whatever stranger is holding you in a such a strong embrace that it’s taking your breath away and looking over at the colors which now paint the hallway. 
“Fuck,” is the first thought that crosses your mind and when you finally look up at who’s got you—the second thing to cross your mind? Shit—who is this?
“Are you okay? Fuck I’m so sorry, I-I have to run these papers to advising before my class,” the stranger rambles on, his grip still tight around your body. He’s got you pressed against his chest, one of his hands around your waist tightly, the other holding your other arm out awkwardly, giving away that’s what he originally caught you with. 
Your mouth slightly gapes open, confused and getting angrier at the second. Seokjin was going to murder you. That or just take the paints out of your next paycheck—which you honestly would rather take the former. With all of your might, you push yourself away from the man who you crashed into, feeling his grip on your arm even after he’s let go. 
“I’m fine,” you spit out, running a hand through your hair in frustration. You bend down and start to pick up the paint that indeed survived the fall, placing them back on the tray one by one. To your surprise, the stranger bends down too, helping you place everything back into the tray neatly. 
“I’m sure there are some towels—“
“The janitors will get it, it’s fine,” you interrupt the boy who keeps a mild expression on his features. It’s true though, spilled paint is nothing out of the ordinary for the cleanup crew. It was a school of arts after all. 
You leave without saying another word to the stranger. You march towards the classroom, ready to hear it in front of Seokjin and all of his students. The thought mortified you, but it happened to his apprentices more often than you would think. Seokjin’s tactics are scary and intimidating but they are like that on purpose. He wants his students to be the best and he wants his apprentices to be even better. And your work as of recent and now this incident? You were surely not that. 
Seokjin doesn’t acknowledge when you let him know about the spilled paints, giving you a dismissing—clearly annoyed—glance before he begins his last abstract painting class. The classroom space is large and bright filled with 11 students exactly. Six working spaces down each side of the rectangle, a lone working space in the back corner of the room. You remembered taking this class vividly, finding the abstract work natural to you and your paint brushes. While you enjoyed abstract, your speciality lied in realism—whether it be through pencils or oils or paints. 
In many ways your role in the classroom acted similarly as a graduate student would at a normal university. You were there to provide help to the other students when needed, but the basis of your apprenticeship under Soekjin was to gain experience and build up your portfolio. Lecturing in art school is obviously quite different than regular university. Instead of an hour and a half of note taking, it was a simple debrief at the beginning of classes and then the remainder time was for working. 
During Seokjin’s brief monologue, the back door of the classroom opens in a rush, the same stranger from earlier entering in, demanding attention away from the teacher. 
“Sorry I’m late—I had to drop off some papers in the administrative office,” the stranger explains as he walks up towards Seokjin. They shake hands quickly, Seokjin introducing him to the class. 
“Everyone, this is Jeon Jungkook—he’s just transferred in from another department, please welcome him in kindly.” 
Jeon Jungkook. A few of the student’s eyes light up as he gives a small wave to everyone. You’re leaning against the wall a few feet behind Jungkook and Seokjin but suddenly Jungkook must have noticed your small movement of crossing your arms over your chest. He nearly does a double take as you make brief eye contact. He’s handsome, you can tell that much as you hadn’t paid much attention when he bumped into you earlier. Jungkook is giving you another apologetic look until you’re the first one to look away, gazing back over the entire class. 
Once class presumes, Jungkook takes the empty workstation towards the back of the classroom, beside of Kim Jisoo and across from Kim Yugyeom. 
“Y/N?” Seokjin says from where he stands, motioning you to come to him. You push yourself off the wall, sauntering over to your boss. 
“Yes?” 
“Meet me in my office after this class is over. I don’t really need you in here today so just continue working on what you need to,” he says only giving you a short glance. Your stomach drops. 99% of the time, if Seokjin wanted to meet in his office, it never really meant good news. Noticing some of his students who are sitting up front are listening, you only give him a short smile with a nod. The last thing you needed was his students talking about how shitty his chosen apprentice truly was. 
You push yourself off the wall, your feet carrying you quickly out of the classroom. Little to your knowledge, the stranger from earlier only had his eyes on you as you disappeared from the classroom. 
It’s only less than a couple hours later you find yourself standing in front of Seokjin’s office. You are gripping your tote bag tightly against your side, the rattling of your materials the only thing your mind can solely focus on. Sending a quick prayer up to whoever, you knock gently on the door and a hear a subtle noise for you to come in. 
You force a small smile on your face as you enter the office, making eye contact with Seokjin immediately. He makes you so intensely nervous that it can be hard to stomach being around him—but the validation and credibility he gives your portfolio—it will be worth it in the end. 
“Hi,” you say as he motions you to take a seat at his desk. He’s sat across from you, finishing typing away at his computer before he gives you any attention. His office is quite the opposite of what you would expect an artist’s office to be. It was all monochromatic and cream with touches of mahogany brown in the furniture and cabinets. There was barely any art on the walls, just a few small canvases that you recognized as his own pieces. You have to hold in a laugh at his narcissism. 
“Thanks for coming by, I don’t want to keep you too late,” he says emotionless. 
“No worries,” you shake your head, “Is everything okay?” 
He hesitates before he responds, leaning back into his giant office chair that looks divinely comfortable.
“I actually wanted to present you with that question Y/N,” he speaks slowly, as if he’s studying you and your reaction.
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “Me?” 
When he doesn’t say anything, you continue yourself. 
“I-I don’t think I understand,” you stutter anxiously, feeling yourself getting hot in the tiny office. This is it—this is where you die. Over spilled fucking paint. 
“Y/N,” he pauses to lean forward on his forearms, “You were one of my most exemplary students in undergrad which is why out of all the candidates, I choose you to be one of my apprentices. I just can’t help but feel you’ve been… well, lacking in the work you’re putting out..” 
His words are slow and calculated, as if he has rehearsed them many times over before spelling it out for you. Your shoulders begin to slump and you now wish you were being reprimanded over spilled fucking paint. You don’t even know what to say, so you don’t. Seokjin takes your silence with respect, continuing for you. 
“I just want you to be your best artistic self. I know what a slump feels like and if you need any help—“
“No,” you interject quickly, “It’s just—“ you pause, wanting to think about what you’re saying before you speak, “It’s just I’ve just been a little uninspired lately, but no I definitely don’t need help.” 
The last thing you needed was for Seokjin to think you couldn’t handle your own. The world of professional art was ruthless. You figured this out by your early teens when your mother had a gallery that was quote “a crashing bore of monotone, desperately wanting to be something it’s not.” After that, she locked herself in her bedroom for 3 days. You needed to prove to yourself you could handle piece after piece by yourself. If you couldn’t prove it to you, who on the outside would believe you could?
Seokjin narrows his eyes at you and you’re sure he definitely doesn’t believe you. “The final exhibit is coming up, I just don’t want you to lose sight of it.”
Knowing today’s date, the final exhibit is coming faster than you would like. Nearly 2 months away, but Seokjin is right. Art takes time, patience, and inspiration. Three things that you’re running out of.
“I appreciate the concern,” you say as genuine as you can, gritting through your annoyed smile, “But I promise you, I’m fine. I’m sure you know how it is to be in a funk.” 
He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his broad chest. If he wasn’t such an intimidating asshole, you would find him attractive. He seems to be content with your answer as he begins to nod slowly. 
“Alright,” he responds, “If you eventually need help though, you have an abundance of students who would be willing to work with you. Great art doesn’t have to be born out of loneliness.” 
You nearly snicker. The funny thing about artists is that we are so narcissistic, we can’t even see what we’re saying is just a crock of horse shit. You decide to leave the conversation at that, bidding Seokjin a simple goodbye and a wishful weekend. You pick your bag up off the ground, fishing your phone out of it quickly, leaving Seokjin’s office in a rush. You had dinner plans and you weren’t sure how much time you now had to get ready. 
You’re scrolling through your messages to recall the exact time you were supposed to be there when suddenly you’re bumping—no crashing—into someone—again! You’ve let out a yelp and a curse word you shouldn’t repeat when you hear your poor phone collide with the floor. Luckily you managed to catch yourself against the wall as your heart beats with fight or flight adrenaline. 
“Shit,” someone mutters and when you finally regain your orientation, you instantly recognize the voice. You realize it’s Jeon Jungkook—that new student who bumped into you earlier. He’s sitting on the ground as if he’s just been hit by a bus. It makes you narrow your eyes—you’re not that dense you knocked this man to the ground. How dramatic can he be? 
“Can we stop meeting like this?” You say as you reach down for your phone. You hope and pray there aren’t any cracks. When you turn it over, you let out a relieved sigh when the screen is unharmed. 
“That was totally your fault that time,” Jungkook pushes himself off the ground, fluffing up his dark hair some. Once he stands fully in front of you, you are now getting an essence of how big he is. He’s average height at most, but from your stature, you’re having to still look up at him. 
“How was that my fault?” You press, taking a step away from him to give you space. 
“Maybe you shouldn’t walk around with your head in that thing?” He motions to your phone with his eyebrows. His eyes are wide and doe like, his lips a little thin with a piercing on the right side, and a nose on the bigger side. You’ve always liked big noses. You normally wouldn't describe men this way, but he’s genuinely pretty. If he wasn’t standing right here, you’d blush a little.
“Maybe you shouldn’t sprint around this place like you’re being chased by a serial killer,” you argue back, your phone now buzzing in your hand. 
This Jungkook guy laughs a bit, a soft smile growing on his face, “I’m Jungkook,” he says matter-of-factly. 
“And I’m running late,” you point to your continually buzzing phone. You can tell it’s not the answer he wants, but you walk away before he can get that answer. You don’t dare look over your shoulder as you walk away to answer the phone. You can feel his eyes still on you and his scent fulfilling your nose. It smells clean, musky, and like amber. It smells dangerous. 
Carbone was easily one of the best spots in the city. The Italian cuisine was to-die for and with the way your stomach was growling—the thought of their vodka sauce penne was literally making you horny. In record time, you managed to rush home and throw yourself together a little more decently. Your hair was pretty greasy so you ended up throwing it up into a clip hoping that no one would notice. You’re playing with your so-called slut strands aimlessly as you stand outside of the restaurant waiting on your company. It isn’t much longer until you hear your named being called a little ways away. You look up from your phone, a smile beginning to grow on your face.
“Hey babe,” your smile only grows as your boyfriend approaches you. He himself begins to smile as he fully approaches you, engulfing you into a large bear hug. 
“I missed you,” he breathes heavily into your neck before he pulls away, “You look nice,” he holds both of your hands and looks down your frame. You glance down at your simple tank and loose-navy trousers. The navy somewhat clashes with his black suit, but it didn’t bother you none. 
“Thank you, missed you too,” you respond, “Shall we?” 
He nods once, giving you a look of longing before pulling you inside behind him. 
“Reservations for Kim Taehyung,” he smiles charmingly to the hostess. She seems awestricken by him as she fumbles around with the menus behind the podium. Once she realizes—or chooses to notice—you standing close with Taehyung, hand in his, her gaze immediately drops to her feet as she walks the two of you to the table. It’s a smaller two-seated table outside on their exquisite patio, twinkle lights tastefully lighting up around you and a small candle lit between you two. It’s still not quite spring so they have some outdoor space heaters which is nice on your exposed arms. The slight chill doesn’t bother you though. Your only focus is on Taehyung. 
Kim Taehyung. How could you even describe Kim Taehyung? 
As the two of you sit here now, him 27, you 24, you can’t believe how long it’s already been. You were naive and 20 when you first crossed paths with Taehyung. A mutual friend introduced the two of you at another friend’s birthday at the time. It was at some swanky bar in the fanciest part of the city and to your broke, aspiring starving artist kind; it seemed magical. 
There was an immediate attraction to each other that both of you seemed to recognize. His strong features and sexy smirk had you pulled in the moment he opened his mouth. His looks were one thing, but once you got to know him for him, you were sure you had found your soulmate. He was charming, funny, smart, and a hell of a lot different than you. But you liked that. You had been around the mismatched artist-type your entire life—you craved something different. And he gave you that every time, even now 4 years later. 
“How was your day?” You’re the one to ask first as the waitress ends up pouring out glasses of Chardonnay for the both of you. Taehyung always orders a bottle, citing glasses were the cheap way out. 
He takes a sip before he speaks, “Pretty good. I think we’re finally getting close to a deal on my biggest client which will leave me a lot less stressful once that sorts itself out.” 
Taehyung works in finance—specifically in private equity. When the two of you first met, he was a first-year hustling investment banker who worked long hours with high compensation for a 23 year old. Now, he works a little less hours with even higher compensation. One way that you two are similar is that you both like chaos—chaos that just manifests itself into different ways. Chaos for you comes in forms of paint, sketches, and a messy workspace. Chaos for Taehyung is working long, demanding hours, numbers, and making 50 year olds seem less experienced than him.
“You made it out of the office before seven tonight, that’s always a good thing,” you take a sip of your wine, hiding the scrunch on your face as best as you can. This Chardonnay was particularly dry and not quite what you thought you needed. A martini sounds real good about now. 
“How was your Friday babe?” He asks with genuine curiosity. If there was one flaw about you is that whenever Taehyung would go off the deep end in explaining his private equity and venture capital deals, you somewhat zoned out. Him on the other hand, always seemed intrigued about your endeavors as a struggling artists. Perhaps you should work on your listening skills now that you think about it. 
You’re about to answer until the waitress comes back to take your orders. You settle on the vodka penne, Taehyung gets cacio-e-pepe, and you two get a Caesar to split. Before you realize it, you’re adding in a martini to the bill. Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you as the waitress leaves. 
“Bad day?” He asks. 
You have to laugh, leaning back into your seat some. “It was fine, it’s just,” you pause somewhat frustrated now that you’ve had a couple hours to marinate Seokjin’s words.
“Seokjin has just been hard on me lately and it’s kind of exhausting,” you breathe out heavily. 
“Isn’t he always an asshole?” He raises a brow, leaning back in his seat to match your stance. His eyes don’t leave you as you command his full attention. 
You half-laugh again, “It’s like he thinks I can just shit out new pieces every week. It’s not like every morning I wake up with a new idea that's riveting enough to turn into something.” 
“I’m sure you’ve produced good things recently—you’re too hard on yourself Y/N,” he says, you assume trying to comfort or validate you in someway. It doesn’t work. 
“What you think is good, isn’t what I, or Seokjin, or art critics may think is good,” you say stubbornly. 
“Babe you really shouldn’t care about what those people think,” he says just as your martini arrives. You take quite a big gulp, a chill running down your spine. But it’s good, and needed. 
“That’s easy for you to say.” 
You don’t expect Taehyung to understand your perception of what you’ve always thought you career would be. Taehyung’s career was set for him the moment he walked across the graduation stage. There need be no inspiration or motivation for the work he does. He shows up, gets tasks and deals to negotiate, plugs and chugs numbers, and does it all over again. There’s no downtime in his field. 
When it comes to art—there’s too much downtime. Too much time to overthink and drown into your thoughts. It’s easy to become miserable and wallow in self-pity as an artist. You don’t know why or where this rut came from, but you hoped that something would inspire you fast. Seokjin was right—you really didn’t have much time to begin putting together your exhibition pieces. 
“I deal with people all the time who hate me and my colleagues—that doesn’t mean I don’t show up for the meetings. You’re going to deal with people who don’t like you but you still gotta get your shit done either way,” he shrugs and it’s like he caught what he said just in time before you could snap back at him—“Baby you know that’s not what I mean,” he suddenly leans forward and grabs one of your hands on the table. 
You try to get past his last comment—as if he was implying you weren’t doing your job—relaxing as soon as his warm touch gets to you. 
Perhaps one of the bigger flaws in your relationship with Taehyung is that sometimes he just doesn't get it. He can get very wrapped up into his world, unable to find a place of empathy for you and your craft. Sometimes, it feels like you're standing in a crowded room screaming yet no one turns around to see where the ruckus is coming from.
“I know,” you answer simply and luckily, your dinner arrives cutting the conversation at that. 
As you two eat together, catching up on other mindless topics, and enjoying each other’s company, it makes your heart yearn for so much more with him. You’ve only had one serious boyfriend before Taehyung in high school which probably doesn’t even count at this point and only dating a couple guys casually before you ended up meeting the man across the table. He was edging 30, you nearing 25. You glance down at your ring finger, wanting nothing more than truly make that next step in your relationship. You two had talked about it many times and you were sure he wanted to marry you—you just didn’t know what he was waiting on. 
Thankfully, you’re feeling a little less anxious now that you’ve ate a good meal and had some alcohol—not enough to where you’re drunk—but enough to feel a little buzz. After Taehyung’s paid (you’ve run your time trying to pay—also given Taehyung’s salary versus yours, it was sort of a given who would pay at fancy restaurants). 
The two of you are walking around the semi-hustling streets, hand in hand as you’re making way back to his apartment. Friday’s were routine the two of you. Given his hectic schedule, the weekends are where you two found solace. There was the occasional mid-week lunch if he was on your side of the city where the university was, but Friday’s had been particular your days for years now. You loved your little routine together. 
Taehyung has managed to pull you towards the city’s main river to a popular tourist watch site. On the weekends, there were the occasional events and water shows. Tonight wasn’t one of those nights, but there are a couple street vendors set up around the area. From the corner of your eye, you spot a vendor selling cotton candy and before Taehyung can stop you, you’re pulling him to the sweet treat. You settle on sharing a stick of the pink and cottony sugar as you take a sit down on the side of the river, trying to keep some distance from others. 
You sit on the step below Taehyung, settling between his legs as you eat the candy in a comfortable silence. He offers you the last little piece but you shake your head, leaning back into his chest more. He glad eats it and then wraps his arms around your front, instantly warming you from the outside in. 
“You chilly babe?” He asks and you shrug a little. You were a little chilly now, but he was keeping you warm enough. Given how he just knows you though, he ends up shrugging off his perfectly tailored suit jacket and draping it over your front. You give him a small kiss beneath his chin as a thank you. 
“This is nice,” you say lowly, the sound of the running river and carb-loaded tummy making you a little sleepy. 
“Mhm,” he agrees, settling his chin on top of your head, “You know I’ve been thinking recently..” 
Thought he can’t see your face from this angle, your eyes slightly widen and your heart rate picks up significantly. Unsure of what to say, you make a noise that resembles a “hm?” Could it be? 
“I know that both of our leases are ending soon,” he pauses, leaning back some. You take it to turn your body some to face him, a soft expression crossing your features. “I was thinking we should move in together.” 
While your heart semi-strains painfully given it’s not what you thought he was going to say. But hey—he wants to live together! That’s the second biggest step before getting engaged, right? 
“You want to live together?” You repeat his statement to make sure you heard it clearly. 
He gives you a small smirk, “Isn’t that what I just said?” He giggles, “I’d just figured we already stay at each others places on the weekends… and if we lived together we would definitely see each other more often.” 
He’s right. You think about waking up and going to bed with Taehyung everyday. You think about making coffee for each other and eating dinner together every night. You think about lazy morning-before-work sex and heavy, steamy sex in a shared bathroom. It seems perfect. You’re nodding before you even say yes.
“Yes, yes, of course!” You say enthusiastically, throwing your arms around him awkwardly. He laughs in content, holding you close as you both continue to watch the river. While it’s not what you were expecting, perhaps it was the final stepping stone until the relationship was to be taken further. 
“I feel like tangerine is the superior shade of orange, right?” 
You laugh a little as you take a step back from the canvas, looking over your shoulder to meet Sana’s gaze. She’s got a serious expression crossing her brows as she inspects your canvas and the orange color you’ve just slapped onto it. 
“I prefer marmalade,” you respond sarcastically with a half-smile, justifying your color choice on the canvas. She tilts her head slightly, sitting back in the barstool type chair she’s in. She was much more the charming artist type than you. Perhaps it’s one of the reasons you two got along so well—you couldn’t be anything more than polar opposites. You were laid back and didn’t think about your work too much, whereas your best friend from undergrad went through every detail imaginable before her brush hit a canvas. 
“I actually don’t give a shit about the orange,” she then says with a short laugh, “Y/N, what are you doing?” 
You furrow your eyebrows, setting down your palette on the work table beside you. “What do you mean?” 
She looks around your studio, the sun shining brightly thanks to the large windows on the back wall. You can tell she’s quickly inspecting every piece that you have finished up against the far wall opposite of you two. It’s only 3 pieces, but you can tell she’s about to rip them apart. 
“It’s just,” she pauses to meet your gaze again, "I feel like there's no emotion in these pieces, it's all just the same in different fonts...” 
You have a sudden open pit in your stomach, getting flashbacks from being in Seokjin’s office last week. You knew that she meant well—but like you said, she was the much more serious art type. She could read art better than anyone else you knew and to hear those words from her? It stung. 
“Because there isn't," you chuckle, "I’m just in a funk,” you say, not even attempting to try to argue with her. For the past couple months, every stroke of your brushes have felt like a chore. Every sketch of a pencil felt like someone had a gun to your head, threatening you to draw or otherwise the trigger would be pulled. 
“Isn’t your exhibition soon?,” she asks it like a warning but you’ve already heard that siren. “Is everything good with you?” 
“I’m fine,” you say straight-lipped, “Just uninspired.” 
She raises an eyebrow at you, “Taehyung not dicking you down right?” 
You roll your eyes, a small laugh emitting from you, “Trust me, that’s not the problem.”
Taehyung was great in bed—a gentle lover with rough hands. It would probably surprise people to know that you were the more dominant one in the bedroom. 
She looks as if she doesn’t believe you, but she lets it slide knowing your sex life is none of her business. 
“And he still hasn’t put a ring on it?” She glances down at your hands, which you shyly shove into the pockets of your jeans. 
“You'd be the first to know Sana," you tell her pointedly, "Also what's the rush?” you say, a half lie on your part. Maybe no rush on his part, but you were feening for that commitment from Taehyung. “He actually wants us to find a place together.” You make sure to add, given it makes your heart feel a little better. 
“Hm,” she pauses and you give her an odd look.
"What's that for?" you ask her, crossing your arms over your chest.
She shakes her head, "I just want you to be happy Y/N... I'm sure moving in together will be exciting," you can tell there's something else she's not saying. You can probably guess as to what she wants to say but you push it from your mind. God forbid she’s been the one on the other end of your drunken-crying nights, saying how much you wanted to spend more time with him and marry him. “Are you excited?”
You nod before you speak, “Of course,” you say, “I’ll just be happy to spend more time with him.” 
“I can’t believe he’s still in his soulless finance grind after all these years,” she exhales heavily with a shake of her head. You honestly couldn’t believe it either—but he loved his work. Sometimes you’d argue more than he loved anything else—including you. 
“Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy,” is what you leave it at. You didn’t want to have the same conversation with her again. 
“Well,” she pauses, “I gotta run, but enjoy your lunch,” she motions to the bag of food she so graciously brought you on her own lunch break. Given she works at an art studio in the city as an art preserver, her hours are much more flexible than yours. 
“Thank you,” you give her a quick hug, inhaling her sweet, floral scent. She’s always had that sort of nostalgic smell to her. One of those smells that you can’t pinpoint where you’ve smelt it before, but it makes you smile. Perhaps it just reminds me of sleepless nights in the dorm you two shared freshman year, watching endless drama's and Magic Mike nights.
“Are you gonna come to dinner with everyone tomorrow?” 
“I’ll try to make it,” you answer, “Depends how long I’m stuck here,” you speak with your arms in reference to your working studio. 
“You better be there,” she warns, “You haven’t seen Jimin and everyone in forever.” 
“I’ll try,” you repeat with a genuine smile, “Thanks for lunch again.” 
She gives you a kiss on the cheek, “Of course. Text me if you need anything,” 
You watch her frame as she walks out of your studio, your shoulders sinking in relief. You loved Sana, you really did, but the last thing you need is another person down your throat about your art. You were in a stupid, uninspired, funk but it will eventually go away. Even if you have to claw your way to finishing pieces for the exhibit—they will get done. You weren’t the type to just give up and throw in the towel. 
You haven’t even realized you’ve completely zoned out until you hear footsteps coming into your studio. When you fixate on who is hesitantly standing toward the door, a confused expression crosses your face. 
“Jungkook?” 
“I’m late?” He jokes, retorting your smart ass comment from the other day. You can’t help but laugh some as he approaches you. He’s curiously looking around your working space with wide doe eyes. “The lighting is great in here,” he comments. 
“I held Seokijn at gunpoint for this room,” you attempt to make a joke. He giggles so you’re satisfied. You’ve only been in class with him once since his first day last week. From what you’ve distantly observed about this Jungkook guy, it’s that he’s quiet and reserved, but quite talented. Seokjin must be feeling very sorry for you given he hasn’t needed you in class the past few days. That, or he’s just pissed that you haven’t done shit and it’s him telling you to get the hint.
“Everything good?” You ask him to break the silence, trying to be a “teacherly” as you could. Perhaps he had a question that Seokjin wasn’t available to answer. Or needed to know where certain pigments were. Or just needed a second opinion on a piece he’s started. Jungkook has made his way over to you, leaning at the table where Sana was just sat. 
“Seokjin needs you to work the afternoon class by yourself,” he explains and you’re a little confused. 
“Okay…?” You trail off, looking at him curiously. He’s dressed in a large short sleeve shirt, baggy jeans, and a slick pair of Nike’s. As he crosses his arms over his chest, you take quick notice of an array of tattoos covering his right forearm. It makes something deep within you stir. 
“Is he busy? Did he send you to tell me or something?” You ask. 
He’s staring at you intently with purpose. You’re suddenly insecure under his gaze, knowing you cannot possibly look put together with your hair thrown up and smudged glasses. 
“I volunteered,” he shrugged, his eyes looking over to the current painting you’re working on. It’s not too large of a canvas, so it sits on your large easel with ease. His words make you stir again. “This is a nice color,” he compliments. 
You laugh out of your nose, “It’s shit.” 
You can feel his eyes on your profile as you look at the painting. The orange you’ve laid down is only the base color and you don’t even know what you’re going to turn it into.
“Do you specialize in realism?” He asks you, again with a burning curiosity in his tone. This is the most you’ve heard him speak since he’s showed up. His voice is soft and smooth like honey, unlike Taehyung’s where—
“Yes,” you cut your thoughts off. 
“Me too,” he responds as your gaze meets his. You give him a small smile in unity. You’ve nearly forgotten lunch that Sana has brought you until a grumble goes through your stomach. You cross your arms over your stomach, feeling embarrassed under his gaze. 
“See you this afternoon?” He says, getting the signal for him to let you have your lunch break. 
“Will do,” you nod, “Thanks for letting me know.” 
He pushes off the table, “Of course.” 
His gaze breaks from yours as he walks away from you and your workspace. Just as he is about to walk out, you stop him. 
“It’s Y/N by the way,” you call out formally. He stops in his tracks, halfway turning to you again with a subtle smirk on his face. 
“I know.” And like that, he’s left. Something even deeper inside you not only stirs, but intensely electrifies you. You’re devouring your salad before you can let any other thoughts consume your brain. 
“Cheers!” Jimin is smiling eagerly as you all hold your shot glasses up in the center of the table. You all down, up, down the shots of soju before you quickly tip them back. It burns going down your throat, but it felt too good. Sana was right—it had been way too long since you’ve been able to catch up with everyone. Sana sits to your left, Jimin across from you, Hoseok to your right, Jennie beside Jimin, and Namjoon at the head of the table. 
“Never gets easier,” Hoseok makes a face as he quickly takes a sip of his soda for a chaser. You tease him by bumping his side, going back to eating the meat in front of you. Jimin was at the helm of cooking the meats and as always, did a fabulous job. 
The Korean BBQ place wasn’t too far from your studio apartment and the university. It was yummy, cheap, and some of your friend’s favorite. It was a no brainer for all of you to meet up here after a long day. Thankfully you were able to finish your work early today, but only because once again, nothing of substance was spawning on your canvas. 
“Namjoon,” Sana says, “When are you leaving for New York?” 
“Next week,” he says as he sips on his light colored beer. 
“Oh! Taehyung’s going this weekend,” you add into the conversation.
“Work trip?” He asks you, nodding in confirmation. It wasn’t anything new—Taehyung made bi-monthly trips to Wall Street. “If he’s staying long enough we’ll have to get a beer together,” he says. 
“I’ll ask him for you,” you smile, though it fades away quickly. You felt that twang in your chest when you thought about Taehyung leaving for work trips. Not because you didn’t trust him—you just missed him. Then again, he’s building a life of security for the two of you, so you couldn’t blame him too much. 
“How’s the apprenticeship going Y/N?” Jennie asks you as the others talk amongst themselves. 
“It’s going,” you try to sound light-hearted and that it’s actually not killing you. “I’m done after this semester,” you add. 
She nods—Jennie worked in social media for a fashion company. She was creative for sure—but not to the level of you and Sana. The three of you had known each other the longest, the other three boys tagging along as the college years went by. 
“Are you going to free-lance after?” She asks. As much as you know she doesn’t mean harm—any question about the future makes you anxious. You had no idea what you were planning on doing after your apprenticeship was up. You were just hoping working under Kim Seokjin would stick out enough on your resume that something would fall into your lap. With your parents consistently down your throat, something had to fall into your lap. Hell, you would even pull the nepotism card if you had to.
“We’ll see,” you shrug as you continue to eat your food. You were feeling a little bit of a buzz at this point and you knew that you should probably slow down on the drinks. 
The six of you all continue talking amongst yourselves aimlessly. You find yourself zoning in and out as you continue to think about Seokjin, your art, Taehyung, moving in together—your brain was cloudy and you felt stuffy. Something’s gotta give soon or you were sure you were going to explode. You didn’t understand—you have a good life, a good boyfriend, a talent not many people possess, fun friends—you didn’t know what was wrong with you. 
You end up excusing yourself, the alcohol inside you making you need some some fresh air. You try to ignore everyone’s concerned glances coming your way as you stand. You take your phone and head towards the front door. As you push the door open, the chilly spring air feels divine on your skin.
Deciding to get out of sight of your friends given the large glass windows, you make your way to the side of the restaurant, where an alley separates it from another small business. Luckily the area was safe, with no alley being too dimly lit to make you uncomfortable. 
As you round the corner, the smell of cigarettes fill your nostrils and you’re stopping dead in your tracks. Leaned up against the side of the restaurant, scrolling through a phone, and a cigarette hanging from their lips—is Jeon Jungkook. 
“Jungkook?” His name slips from your lips before you can stop it. He quickly responds by looking up from his device, looking somewhat startled. He looks panicked as he quickly removes the cigarette from his mouth, about to let it drop to the ground before he drops it. 
“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” you shake your head as you slowly step towards him, “My mom smokes when she paints.” 
He raises his eyebrows at you slowly putting the cigarette back between his lips, “Is she an artist too?” 
He’s wearing slim-fitted jeans and a multiple colored pullover, with a prominent shade of orange through the middle. It reminds you of the conversation you had with Sana yesterday. His hair is tousled a little, but still fairly straight and dark. He plays with his lip ring until you answer him.
“Both my parents are,” you respond, settling against the building opposite of him. He’s already got a few inches on you, but with his fancy tennis shoes, it gives him even more height. 
“That’s gotta be rough,” he laughs while blowing out smoke away from your direction. 
You laugh with him, settling for a short nod, “What about your parents?” 
He hesitates before taking another drag, “My dad is in banking, my mom stays at home.” While he’s answered your question, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic about it. You wonder what type of banking his father is into, so you ask him. 
“Investment and private banking,” is what he says. Your boyfriend’s face flashes into your head, but for whatever reason, you don’t mention him to Jungkook. He’s practically your student—he doesn’t have to know every detail about your life. 
“Does he enjoy it?”
He quickly shakes his head, “He’s been miserable for as long as I can remember, my mom even more so,” he says it like it’s a joke, but it makes something in your chest squeezes tightly, your mouth dries up, and your hands go clammy. Though he doesn’t voice it, he senses a demeanor change so he offers you a drag from his cigarette. 
You don’t hesitate to say yes as he passes you the little nicotine stick. Your fingers brush against his when he passes it off to you. Again, you have to ignore whatever is stirring deep within you. As you inhale the smoke, your head buzzes even further, settling your worries the tiniest bit. There’s no way that would become you and Taehyung. No way. 
“What are you doing here?” You ask. 
“Meeting some friends for drinks,” he explains, “But everyone’s late, as usual,” he laughs. 
“I hate when people are late,” you mutter, taking another drag of the cigarette. Jungkook agrees with you, asking what you’re doing here. “I’m with a few friends, we haven’t all been able to see each other much recently.” 
You reach out to give him back his cigarette but he shakes his head, “It’s yours,” his eyes have a glimmer in them that’s innocent but provocative all at the same time. 
“Thanks,” you say and nearly rolling your eyes at how much you probably look like your mother right now. You wouldn’t really take that as a compliment. 
“You did well teaching yesterday,” he completely does a 180 on the subject, but the praise makes you smile at him. Positive reinforcement—works every time. 
You thank him again, “I was actually pretty nervous.” 
“I don’t think any of us would have thought that,” he pauses, examining your face closely, “Have you thought about teaching when you’re done under Seokjin?” 
You shake your head, “Not really,” the cigarette is down to the butt so you throw it out, stepping on it with your white tennis shoe. 
“Maybe you should,” he says it with a genuine tone it almost makes you think it’s something you should consider. 
“I feel like this is you trying to take my job,” you raise your eyebrow at him and he only smirks through his laugh. Under the dim lighting, it really does excentuate how attractive he is. 
“Is it that obvious?” He cocks his head to the side quickly, glancing down your front in the process. You know absolutely nothing about this man except his dad is an investment banker and he’s Seokjin’s student. Despite that, you feel too comfortable with him and you know you shouldn’t. Goddamn; you were sure you were losing it at this point. 
You’re about to say something else before your phone vibrates continuously in your back pocket. You pull it out of your trousers, cursing under your breath when you see Sana’s name pull up on the screen. 
“Hey! Are you still here?” You can tell she’s still inside the restaurant given the commotion in the back. She also sounds even more drunk than when you left her. As much as you love your friends, you knew that going back inside was not what you needed. Jungkook watches you intensely, but you can’t keep his gaze continuously. 
“I uh,” you pause trying to think on your feet, “I actually wasn’t feeling too well so I ended up leaving.. would you kill me if I just sent you a Venmo for my food?” 
“Oh! Are you okay?! Of course I don’t care! Did you get a ride home?” 
You answer all of her questions in order quickly, wanting to get off the phone before she actually realized you were still there, just standing outside in the alley with your “student.”
“Text me when you make it home!” Is the last thing she says. 
After you hang up, Jungkook is still looking at you curiously. 
“Ditching you friends?” 
“My social meter has about run out… I need to head home anyways,” you trail off, leaning back against the wall behind you. 
“Do you live around here?” He mirrors your actions, leaning back and watching you. His gaze follows you like the Mona Lisa. You settle with the fact you don’t mind. His eyes look like they hold stars and you’ve always liked stargazing. 
“Yeah, not too far from here,” you say. 
“I’ll walk you home then.” 
You furrow your eyebrows, protesting heavily, “No, no it’s all good I promise! Your friends are waiting for you.” 
He’s suddenly giving you a smile where one side of his lips tug upwards before he’s biting his lip ring again. You don’t know why but you like that too. 
“Lucky for you, my social meter has run out too.” 
You know that having Jungkook walk you home would probably look extremely bad to someone if they knew the situation. Jeon Jungkook, senior art student for Kim Seokjin, and you, apprentice for Kim Seokjin, walking you home alone on a Thursday evening. It wasn’t that you thought he was attractive that it would look bad—that could be kept secret—more so just the power dynamic may look bad. The two of you have been talking aimlessly about random things, nothing too deep, until he says—
“How’d you get into art?” He asks as he walks beside you, about 6 inches separating you two. “I know you said your parents were artists, but why’d you follow the same path?” 
It’s a question you’ve pondered yourself many times as of recent. You wonder if Jeon Jungkook can read your mind. 
“I guess it’s just that,” you half-laugh, “It’s just something I naturally picked up so young and as I got older I just wanted to learn more mediums, create more, perfect the craft…” you trail off, still unsure if you’ve answered his question. He looks at you as you walk, but you’re looking forward so you don’t notice. 
“What did you start with?” You know exactly what he means. 
“Well like most kids I started with crayons and watercolor,” you pause and he nods in agreement, “Everything really changed for me though when I started doing realism through pencil and charcoal work when I was like twelve, which eventually moved on to painting.” 
He hums like he finds this information fascinating. Even if he doesn’t, it makes you feel like you’re being heard. It’s hard for non-art friends to understand the process of moving from one thing to the next, your brain constantly trying to find something new to work with. 
“Funny, you and I must have been on parallel paths,” he says it like its a joke and you end up smiling. 
“Where are you from?” You turn your head up to ask him. You find his eyes already looking at you. 
“Busan, just by the sea.” 
“And that’s where our paths are different,” you’re nudging his arm with your elbow before you realize it and you immediately regret it, pulling away quickly. It’s a habit you have when you’re talking to someone you’re comfortable with, specifically Taehyung. 
"Did you move here just for school then?" you ask him curiously.
He shakes his head, "No my family and I moved here when I was quite young, due to my dad's job," he explains.
"What do your parents think about you being an artist?"
The older you got, the less of a choice you felt like you had in terms of your career and path with your parents consistently down your throat. You'd love to know what it was like to actually choose this path of constant praise and validation.
"My mom is very easy going... she doesn't have much of an opinion about it," he pauses, moving closer to you slightly to dodge a pothole, "It's definitely not what my father would have chosen for me, but since my older brother went to school for business, I think it's lessened the blow for me," he laughs.
You decide right here that you think Jungkook's smile is probably the most beautiful you've ever seen. You don't even realize how long you've been staring at him in silence until his eyes meet yours again.
You clear your throat, “You really didn’t have to walk me home.” 
He shoves his hands into the pockets of his pullover, “It’s no big deal, I don’t live too far from here either.” 
“Do you live alone?” You don’t know why you’re asking such personal questions. 
“Yeah, just got my own place actually..” He says it with a faint smile. “Do you?”
“Yeah,” not for long. But again, you don’t mention it. 
“I’ll have to come see it one day,” you’re positive he’s not even sure what he’s said. Given how he said it so nonchalantly and natural though, tells you differently. You’re stunned to speak for a moment, until you finally find your voice that comes through like a weakened child. 
“I’m not sure that’s appropriate given my relationship to you,” you try to make your answer seem cool and collected. You think it comes across this way and you hope he thinks it came across that way. 
“Aren’t we friends?” He muses, something hidden behind his tone. 
“Are we?” You retort. What do you mean, is his next question. “We’ve just met as of last week and I don’t know much about you…” 
Again, he looks at you cheekily as you turn left down the street that leads to your apartment complex. 
“That can be easily changed.” 
At this point, you’re sure he’s flirting with you. Flirting with his goddamn teaching apprentice assistant. You have to shoot it down—fast. You don’t like how the idea of another man flirting with you makes you feel—mainly because it’s not a negative feeling. 
“I’m just up here,” you motion toward the large complex you live in. It’s a nice, private community that luckily you can afford on your apprenticeship salary. Your parents will help you from time to time which is something you can’t complain about, but for the most part, it’s just you and your gray tabby—Sushi. 
“Thanks for walking me home again,” is what you say as he leads you up to the main entrance. 
“No problem,” he responds as he stops walking as you continue forward up the short set of stairs. You turn around, looking down at him two steps up from him. The wind is blowing some, his hair looking soft and touchable. Tuggable, even. 
“Sorry if I took you from your friends,” you don’t know why but you can’t find it in yourself to walk away from him just yet. You’re unsure the last time a stranger was this nice to you. Despite your first two crashing meetings, Jeon Jungkook seems like a genuine soul. 
“Back at you,” he nods before his chest rises slowly, his gaze not leaving yours, “I enjoyed this more.” 
A faint smile spreads across your lips, unable to hide it. You don’t even want to hide it. He’s been so nice to you that it makes you feel giddy on the inside. It’s reminiscent of when you had your first date with Taehyung. The single thought of him, drains all emotion from your face when you realize what you’ve just thought. 
You need to leave. 
“I’ll see you around,” you finally murk up the courage to dissolve this evening, “Thank you again, Jungkook.” 
He holds your gaze, a glimmer in his eyes as they reflect in the street light. Definitely looks like stars.
 “Anytime.” 
Unlike most Fridays, this one had your mood shifted in the dumps. Straying from your normal routine, Taehyung’s flight for New York was leaving this evening. You hadn’t even seen him since last weekend, but you tried your well not to dwell too much. This was just another part of your routine together. He would be back before you knew it. 
You are currently sat with a few of the students outside on a coffee break of your own, them on lunch break. There was a large section of the rooftop that was flat with tables and extravagant plants along the sides of the roof. It was probably the most peaceful and serene part of this entire side of the university.
You’re sat with Jisoo, Lisa, Yugyeom, and Jungkook around a circular table. The weather is getting so nice and the sun’s vitamin D feels too good against your skin. You’re sat sideways in the chair, your legs hanging off one side of armrests, an iced coffee balancing in your lap. Despite you being older than all the students here, a one year difference truly isn’t anything. Sometimes you still felt like you were in university when hanging out with all of them. 
“How’s your exhibition pieces going Y/N?” Yugyeom is the one who asks the question. You’ve taken notice him and Jungkook have become good buddies in a short amount of time. You can feel the latter’s eyes on you, but you intentionally ignore him. 
“Awful,” you don’t even attempt to sugar coat it. You know that they’ve probably heard Seokjin’s scoldings recently. 
“Really? But your winter exhibition pieces were so good,” Lisa pipes in. Your stomach sinks and you wish you could curl into yourself even more. 
“I thought so too,” Jungkook’s voice suddenly appears and you turn your gaze to him. He’s sat to your left, but Jisoo is in between you two. 
“How’d you see them?” You don’t mean it to come off harsh, but given he’s transferred here in the middle of the semester, there’s no way he could have seen them. 
“I was in Park Kihyun’s department before I switched to Seokjin’s,” he says, leaning back into his chair as he sips on what looks to be banana milk. Today he’s wearing an all black ensemble of a black t-shirt and baggy black sweatpants. 
You make a noise of understanding. That makes much more sense. Park Kihyun was another highly respected artist and professor at the university. Probably even more than Kim Seokjin. He was head of the honors department of the university which is a cult of its own. You were talented as hell, but not even Kihyun would consider you for the honors program, let alone an apprenticeship. He was by far the hardest professor you ever, ever had which is why you only took one class from him. You learned your lesson fast. Though it’s quite impressive to hear Jungkook was in his department. You wonder why he switched, but you probably already know too much about Jungkook, so you leave it. 
“I’m sure everything will work out Y/N,” Lisa gives you a reassuring smile from across the table. 
“It’s just a funk, I’ll break out of it,” you shrug your shoulders. At this point, you’re hoping if you say it out loud enough, that the funk will indeed be broken. 
More talk occurs between everyone, though Jungkook doesn’t say much. When he does speak, he contributes a funny joke here and there. He’s deliberate with what he says and you understand that. One of your better traits is that you don’t act out of pure emotion. You want what you say to matter and no get lost in translation. Perhaps another parallel between you and Jungkook. 
“Y/N!” Someone bellows from behind you, “You’ve got a visitor!” 
Your eyebrows furrow as you swing your legs down, to turn around to see who is your so-called visitor. You put a hand up above your brows, to close out the sun. When your vision focuses, your heart swells at the sight. It also lurches with anxiety. 
“Taehyung?” You ask him as he’s approaching you with a bag of food from what looks to be your favorite sushi restaurant down the street, “You didn’t tell me you were coming.” 
You stand to meet him once he approaches the table. You can feel everyone’s eyes burning holes in you. Everyone here knows you have a boyfriend, having seen Taehyung many times. All except one. 
“I wanted to surprise you before I left,” he sets your food down on the table before waving to everyone, “Hey guys.” 
Everyone doesn’t miss a beat in greeting Taehyung before he turns back to you, pulling you in for a hug. He places a kiss on your temple gently just as you meet Jungkook’s eyes from your stance. He watches you curiously before they flick to Taehyung, his tongue playing with his lip ring. 
“My coworkers and I decided to get lunch on this side of town and I wanted to bring you some,” he says while looking down at you. Of course he’s dressed in a perfectly tailored navy suit and shined shoes, his hair a little slicked back today. You would love nothing more than to hop onto a plane with him to NYC, but unfortunately investment bankers don’t get plus ones on business trips. 
“You didn’t have to do that,” you’re speaking in a lower register, hoping that your lunch group’s own conversations drown out yours. 
“I wanted to,” he smiles, one hand squeezing your waist in reassurance, “Listen um, my trip may be a little longer than I expected,” his voice is low and deep, hesitant even. 
Your heart feels like it clenches in your chest and you’re sure whatever color was in your face is gone. So this is why he wanted to come see you. 
“How much longer?” You whisper, trying to keep your composure. You’re sure you can feel a certain someone’s eyes on you, but you can’t look at anyone but Taehyung. 
“Maybe two weeks, max,” he says quickly and trying to remove any doubts from you. You look down at your feet for a split second before you glance back up. 
“That’s okay,” you grimace, knowing you can’t control it so why is there reason to be upset? “Namjoon’s gonna be there… you guys should meet up.” 
He nods with a small smile, his eyes searching yours deeply. He knows you and he knows that you’re not happy right now, but Taehyung had no choice. Work calls and work calls hard and fast. You both knew that. He gives you another temple kiss, this one a little longing. 
“I love you,” he says, giving you a hug. You don’t even care to be embarrassed of PDA in front of the others. This was your boyfriend of years—you could hug him in public if you wanted. 
“I love you too,” you pause, “Have a safe flight.” 
Taehyung speaks to the rest of the gang for a couple moments. He’s only asking how everyone is since he recognizes everyone, even if he can’t remember everyone’s names exactly. 
“I don’t think we’ve met?” Taehyung questions the dark haired boy a couple feet from him. 
“I’m Jungkook,” he says, his voice slightly cold, “I just transferred into this department.” 
You watch the interaction carefully, your palms sweaty and your heart rate up. You can’t pinpoint why you feel nervous like this in front of Jungkook. More specifically, in front of Jungkook with Taehyung right here. You were sure if Taehyung knew Jungkook walked you home last night he would have been thankful, but another part of you thinks it would have made him pissed, given you weren’t with him at the restaurant to begin with. 
“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung smiles before glancing at his watch, “Alright, I gotta run babe. I’ll text you when I get to the airport.” 
You tell him okay before he pecks you on the lips, leaving swiftly after. Jungkook looks away, a hand of his finding its way to the back of his head to scratch it awkwardly. You seem to be stuck in place, unable to sit back down until Lisa grabs your attention. As much as you appreciated the sushi, the last thing you felt like doing was eating. 
As you sit down, Lisa asks if everything’s okay. You don’t miss a beat when you say yes, shrugging off your apparent sadness. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s briefly and you can tell he doesn’t see through your bullshit. You can’t tell if it makes you uncomfortable or if you’re grateful for it.
Your phone dings, prompting you to set down your pencil. You open the a text from Taehyung, smiling down at your phone. When you expand the photo, it’s a picture of Namjoon with Taehyung holding a beer out in front of him. It’s clearly from last night, given it is early morning in New York now, but still charms you. Namjoon worked as a writer for an art magazine—hence why he traveled the most of all of your friends. From Paris to NYC to Amsterdam—Namjoon has been there, done that. 
You respond with a simple Miss you❤️
It’s been a few days since he left now and thankfully, he’s been pretty responsive and active on his phone. In the past, some of his work trips have been so busy there were days in which the two of you wouldn’t talk at all. 
You stretch your legs out on the small sofa you have in your workspace. You grab your sketch book from your lap, tending back to what you were drawing. You liked doing pencil work in between the major pieces that would actually be submitted for galleries and exhibitions. 
“You’re still here?” 
A voice startles you, jumping slightly in your position. You crane your neck to the door where you find Jungkook has made his way into your space. Given you had the door open and Jungkook has become a good acquaintance to you, you don’t mind—but a knock would have been nice. 
You glance down at your watch. It’s almost 8 PM, the light outside barely poking through the darkness now. You honestly hadn’t even noticed. You stayed cooped up in your work space pretty much all day. 
“And you’re still here?” You retort, watching as Jungkook saunters over towards you. He looks tired, his bag looking a hundred pounds on his shoulder. You scrunch up your legs to give him a signal he can sit if he wants. You notice he has on black converse, matching the ones on your feet. You’ve always liked when guys wear converse, though you know Taehyung wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them. 
He lets out a deep sigh as he plops down on the small couch. He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a yawn. You have to fight your own as you watch him. 
“Long day?” You ask him. 
He nods slowly, “I was nearly finished with the piece I’ve been working on but I wasn’t paying attention and ended up streaking my canvas.” he explains.
"Aren't those just happy little accidents?" you quirk an eyebrow and he lets out a deep laugh.
“Seokjin made me start over, so no," when his eyes meet yours, you catch your breath.
You scrunch your nose up, “Sounds like Seokjin,” you give him half a laugh. 
“Why are you still here?” 
You look around the now dimly lit room, with a shrug. You picked up a paint brush for 10 minutes four hours ago. You had no idea why you were still here. 
“Lost track of time,” you shut your sketch book, stretching your arms slightly. “Is anyone else here?”
Jungkook shakes his head, “Not that I’ve seen,” he pauses, “This feels like the start to a horror movie.” 
You laugh with a sputtering of your lips. Jungkook made a good point. A late Wednesday evening, two people alone in a huge university hall, pretty much all lights killed, and quiet enough to hear a pin drop. It was the perfect storm. 
“As long as we’re both virgins, we should be safe right?” You raise an eyebrow at him, a joking tone to your voice. Luckily, he understands your reference as he laughs with a side smirk. 
“Totally,” he licks his lips which you watch shamelessly, but quickly looking away not wanting him to see you stare. “Need a walking buddy home?” Is his next question. 
As much as you should refuse, given the time and proximity of your and Jungkook’s apartment from the school, it only makes sense. It’s not long after you’ve gathered your things that you and Jungkook are locking up your studio, headed towards the direction of your apartment. 
The entire walk is peaceful and comfortable. You walk with your hands shoved into your sweatpants pockets, Jungkook mirroring you, keeping a good distance between you two. You talk about random things, with each conversation flowing easier than others. You feel as if Jungkook is quickly moving from student acquaintance to actual friend. You were friends with most of the people in the classes you assisted, but you had never interacted with them as much as you had Jungkook. He just always seemed to be there—though you didn’t mind his company at all. 
You’re currently laughing at something he’s said about a childhood story about him and his brother. You now know the reason for the faint scar on the left side of cheek. You would have never taken Jungkook as a competitive person, but getting to know him a little more day by day, he most definitely is. 
The two of you have almost made it to your apartment complex when sudden, heavy raindrops begin to fall from the sky. 
“Shit,” you mutter as you two have taken brief cover under a business awning. 
“C’mon,” Jungkook encourages with a short laugh, grabbing your forearm to pull you behind him. It’s hard to keep up with his quick steps, but you manage. 
While you two ended up at your complex entrance faster than you would have at your previous pace—you both are still soaked. The rain has also chilled the air, sending a shiver down your spine. Jungkook is muttering something about how Busan has always had much better weather when you get a full look at him. His hair is wet and flat to his head, but he’s pushing his fringe back to expose his forehead. His white t-shirt sticks to his chest, his silver chain grabbing the light. You gulp, a familiar stir in your tummy. 
“Do you want to come up and dry your things? Or a least grab an Uber or something to get to your place?” You’re mouth is offering the words before you can think about them. Fuck—that was stupid. 
As Jungkook looks down at your frame, he’s contemplating your offer, but then says—“No, no it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” 
You counter, “No please, I definitely have sweatshirts big enough for you.” 
He looks back out at the rain that has only seemingly got worse. He lets out an exhale before nodding, thanking you in the process. 
Once you cross the threshold of your apartment, you instantly feel warmer but also more claustrophobic. This had to have been a horrible mistake. Your apartment was your safe haven—with very few people ever getting the chance to see your space. Taehyung and Sana were the only regulars in your home. You’re hyper aware glancing around the kitchen room and living room area, thanking yourself for cleaning up last night. Jungkook has already witnessed how much of a mess your art is, the last thing you need is for him to think your home is a mess too. 
You excuse yourself to retrieve a sweatshirt for him and a new t-shirt for you to throw on. After you change, you nearly stop in your tracks when Jungkook is pulling the wet t-shirt off his frame. His back is to you, but god—it’s a hot back. His frame isn’t that big, but he’s got defined muscles well, everywhere. 
You approach him slowly, alerting him that you have a sweatshirt for him. The two of you trade items of clothing, gaze holding anywhere but him. Luckily for him, you pretty much only bought sweatshirts double your size, so the Nirvana sweatshirt fit over his frame nicely. 
“Your place is nice,” he comments as you throw his t-shirt into your dryer. 
“Thanks,” you give him a smile when you walk back into your kitchen. He’s sat at one of your barstools, watching your frame intently as you rummage through a cabinet above your microwave. Your eyes widen at the sight, stomach grumbling the process. You hadn’t ate in hours and you were sure you could eat a horse at this point. 
“Do you want one?” You look over your shoulder as you stand on your tip-toes to pull down an instant ramen cup. 
“Was my hunger that obvious?” He laughs and you roll your eyes, grabbing him a cup too. You whip up both of your instant ramens in less than 5 minutes, handing him a pair of chopsticks when you’re finished. 
As you’re about to rip open the flavor packet and squeeze it in like your normally would, Jungkook’s method has you stopping in your tracks. He’s got the flavor packet carefully tucked between his teeth, a chopstick on either side of the packet pushing out every drop of the sauce you could possibly get. 
“That’s fucking genius,” you marvel at him, mouth still slightly agape. “Did you come up with that?” 
He laughs, his nose scrunching up in the process, “Probably not, but I’ll pretend I did just for that reaction.” 
You ask him to help you, knowing that you will now be using this ramen hack till the day you die. He carefully tears a small rip the packet for you, telling you to take the corner between your teeth. You follow suit with the chopsticks and you’re simply amazed again as you watch the flavoring all dump into the noodles—none of it wasted. 
He laughs at you as you continue to rave about the genius of this ramen hack, questioning whether or not Namjoon knows about it given he’s the smartest person you know—even though he has no idea who Namjoon is. Then suddenly, Jungkook jumps slightly in the barstool, looking down at his legs. 
“You okay?” You ask with concern as you put your chopsticks down. 
At Jungkook’s feet is a little grey tabby cat—a little chubby, but cute as hell—staring up at him as it rubs its head against his ankle. 
“I see you have a cat,” he comments, looking down at it with an endearing expression. 
“Oh! Yeah,” you pause, taking a couple steps around the kitchen island to see him, “His name is Sushi…” you trail off, not believing the sight in front of you, “And he seems to like you?” 
“Hi Sushi,” he says with a mouthful of noodles before he swallows. It's cute. “Does he not like people?” 
“He usually just doesn’t like men,” you watch in awe as Sushi then lays down right at Jungkook’s feet, continuing to stare up at him. “He’s just gotten to where he can stand Taehyung, and I’ve had him for two years.” 
You don’t know why you tense up when you mention your boyfriend. Maybe it’s because you know Jungkook probably shouldn’t be in your apartment. Maybe it’s where Jungkook’s presence makes you feel nervous, yet a little too comfortable. He doesn’t know you as a friend who’s been in a serious relationship her entire 20’s. He knows you as the friend who happens to be his teacher’s apprentice. 
Jungkook though, uses this as a window of opportunity. 
“How long have you two been together?” He chooses his words carefully, not wanting to come off too strong or curious—though he absolutely was. After your boyfriend had come visit you last week, he had an array of questions.
You take a deep breath in and out, leaning against the counter, “Almost five years.” 
“Damn,” is what he says after a moment of silence, “That’s half a decade.” 
You laugh at his comment, “Sounds longer when you put it like that.” 
He finishes his ramen, “Thanks again,” he says as you take his chopsticks and stick them in the dishwasher. You then turn your back to throw away the cup. “How’d you meet him?” 
You pause momentarily as you open the cabinet where your trash can resides, clearing your throat, “Through mutual friends.”
You turn around and Jungkook nods knowingly, taking another glance around your apartment. Your apartment is decorated simply, but he can read the flares of a scatter brained artist easily. You have olive green cabinets, a cream sectional sofa with mismatched colored pillows, a funky shaped coffee table that’s a pink marble, and a corner of your living room that’s a bit of a clutter with art supplies. It makes him smile inwardly, as he has a similar clutter up in his own living room. 
You watch him as he studies your apartment carefully. Deep down, you hope that he likes it. After all, it wouldn’t be much longer that this space wouldn’t be yours anymore. As his eyes come back to the kitchen, something in particular catches his eye. You can pick up on it, giving the widening of his pupils and straightening of his posture. 
“You got tickets Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit?” His says almost stunned. You follow his eyes over to the small bulletin board you have hung up in your kitchen. You stick important reminders and other tasks for you on it, but what Jungkook is looking at are two tickets tacked the board. 
“Yeah, Taehyung got them for my birthday.” 
Your heart sinks as the words leave your mouth. You couldn’t’ even imaged what Taehyung paid for the tickets, but he knew once he realized the exhibit was coming to the city, he had to get them for you. The two of you were going to go together, making an entire planned Saturday around the exhibit. Now, those plans were shot out the window given he was going to be in New York until next week. 
“Shit, I can’t imagine what he paid for them,” he seems to be speaking his thoughts, which coincidentally match your own. “You’ll have to take pictures, I’ve always wanted to see it.” 
As your shoulders fall, eyes looking down at your ring finger again—an awful habit you need to break. 
“I’m not going anymore.” 
“Wait, why not?” His voice is rushed and confused. It’s just then when your dryer dings, signaling his shirt is now done. You give him a small smile as you leave to retrieve it, hurrying back the kitchen. 
“Taehyung’s still on a business trip, he won’t be back until next week,” you explain as you fold his shirt with crisp, clean lines. You slide the fabric over to him, his hand brushing yours as he grabs it hesitantly. 
“You should still go,” he says, leaning on his elbows. His gaze his heavy, but he’s mesmerizing so you can’t look away. 
You start to shake your head, “It’s alright,” you say with a half laugh, trying to make it seem as if it doesn’t bother you. 
Jungkook perhaps regrets his next words and how fast he says them but—“I’ll go with you.” 
Your mouth slightly parts, unsure of what to say. If you acted on emotions all the time, you would have jumped to say yes, of course! But as your boyfriend’s face flashes across your eyelids every time you blink, you hesitate to answer. 
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have,” he laughs, breaking the awkward tension in the room, but as you glance at the tickets again—you know you can’t say no to him. 
“No, no, you’re fine,” you smile at him softly; the kind of smile that girls give Jungkook that drives him crazy. “You really don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 
Jungkook is good a reading people—which scares you. Jungkook can sense every change in people’s breath, demeanor, and language. You’re sure he could read how you fell sad thinking about not going to the exhibit, but you also didn’t want him to tag along out of pity for you. 
“If you want to go, I want to,” he pauses, leaning towards you from across where you stand. “If you don’t, then I don’t,” it’s almost a challenge coming from his lips. He chews on his lips ring as he waits for your answer. 
After a few moments of debating internally, “I’ll let you know,” is what you leave it at. Jungkook seems satisfied with your answer, not pressuring you any further to give in to his proposition. Jungkook goes in an Uber soon after since the rain has not given up. Sushi meows as he leaves, even allowing Jungkook to hold him for some quick cuddles. Once he’s gone, the only traces of him left are his faded scent in your sweatshirt and his number in your phone. 
It’s now Saturday, you and Jungkook standing in line for Kusama’s exhibit. He met you here about thirty minutes ago and luckily both of you didn’t arrive any later. The line was moving fast, but the amount of people that’s accumulated behind you goes on for what seems like a mile. 
It was quite warm today, opting to wear a white, polka dotted midi-dress and a pair of high top converse. Your hair was down and a bit messy, curls from the other day having fallen slightly. A compliment was the first thing that left Jungkook’s mouth when he saw you. You absolutely hate the bubbly feeling his gaze and words leave in your stomach. It’s reminiscent of how Taehyung left you when you first met. You know you should ignore it, but it’s so hard when he’s standing there looking like that—seemingly always saying the right things. 
Today, he’s dressed casually in a pair of baggy jeans that you’ve seen him wear before, a yellow t-shirt, and a black bucket hat. You can’t help but glance down at his tattooed arm every once in a while. You think about how you’d love to hear the stories behind them all. You also think about how is pain tolerance must be insanely high, given his shirtless escapade at your place, you noticed how the tattoos traveled all the way up to his right shoulder 
After both of your tickets are scanned and a map of the exhibit is given to him, he opens it, his eyes scanning over the paper quickly. 
“Where should we go first?” He asks as he lean over to peak at what’s to see. Unlike most art galleries which are quiet, this one has softer music accompanying each room, making it less awkward to talk if need be. 
“This one,” you point to the biggest, most famous room that you’ve heard all about. It’s a dark room, with intricate lights throughout. You hoped that pictures you’ve seen of it we’re only doing it half-justice. 
He laughs a deep rumble from his chest, “Shouldn’t we do that one last?” He looks down at you with a small smirk on his face. 
You furrow your eyebrows, “No, it’s the most famous one, don’t you want to see it?” 
His smirk spreads to a smile, “I know that,” he pauses, “Let’s do that one last so we have something to look forward to, and maybe there won’t be as many people in there by the time we get to it.” 
Okay, you think, fair point. 
The two of you settle on starting at the All the Eternal l Love I Have for the Pumpkins. As soon as you walk into the room, you are completely in awe at the magnificent work. Despite it being mid spring, the “pumpkins” on display along with fall-oriented music in the background, makes you desperately wish for the cooler weather of October. Jungkook is fascinated too as his eyes only get bigger as he takes in each and every detail. 
The two of you make your way around the exhibit slowly, having to wait for some of the rooms to open since the gallery is quite crowded. The next room you go into is called Dots Obsession—Love Transformed into Dots. It’s got a pink hue to it, large white balls with black dots on them. 
“I think you stole her idea,” Jungkook comments as you take pictures, his eyes scanning down your dress. You flip him off, which he responds with a laugh. 
Phalli’s Field is the next room. Unlike the previous rooms, this one is bright with what looks like a field of while, red-dot phallic shaped objects. Jungkook ends up taking a mirror selfie of you two in this room and you make a mental note to ask him to send it to you later. 
The next one is called Love Forever, another dark room with a changing light color pattern that’s abstract in nature. This one makes you think of Taehyung and rightfully so. You know that he would have enjoyed this, given that he likes art that’s stimulating and not “boring”—his words, not yours. You snap a picture of this one for him, hoping that he’ll like it and the name. 
The second to last one is called Aftermath of Obliteration of Eternity. 
“Jesus,” you say after you read the name of it, “Realist much?” 
Jungkook laughs as he follows you into the room. It’s dark again, with twinkling yellow colored lights filling the space. It reminds you of a fire. The yellow flickers to a slight orange shade every millisecond, giving off a summery feel. It makes you think of your childhood, when your parents would take you to the beach and roast marshmallows over an open fire. The thought makes you a little sad, knowing that those times would never come back. That was before you knew about loss of innocence and the high standards of your parents that would come. 
Finally after a couple hours of diving into each room, along with reading each story behind the pieces, you reach the room that you’ve been itching to get to all day. You’re welcomed into the room and an immediate gasp leaves your lips. 
“Wow,” you whisper as you take a big glance around. 
“Holy shit,” Jungkook says behind you just as the door is closed. You realize that it’s just the two of you here in. He definitely made the right call about waiting. 
The Souls of Million Of Light Years Away is simply breathtaking. It’s dark again, but this time with what looks like actually a million lights twinkling in all different forms of colors and shapes. Each light bounces off the mirrors and you imagine this is what being in space is like. A dark void with a million galaxies around you. It’s oddly peaceful even though you can barely see your hands in front of you or Jungkook behind you. You don’t notice, but Jungkook quickly snaps a photo of you in the light, your silhouette showing up with the millions of lights behind you. He’s smiling at his phone when you turn around, and you ask him what’s up. 
“Nothing,” he shakes his head, “This is just amazing.” 
You hum in agreement, not wanting to leave the room. As you find Jungkook’s eyes, another tiny gasp leaves your lips. If you weren’t confident enough before, you’re sure that his eyes are made of stars now. The light bounces off his brown, doe eyes, blending into the gallery seamlessly. He licks his lips before he asks if you’re ready to go. Hesitantly, you slowly nod, your feet heavy as you leave the room and follow him out. 
When you make it back outside, it’s still light outside which makes both of your eyes sensitive since you’ve just spent a little over two hours in the dark. Since the exhibit was on the opposite side of the city, both of you opt to take the subway back towards your respectable apartments. Both of you are sat together at the back of the car, looking through your pictures again, marveling at the exhibit. 
“Thanks for coming with me,” you say with a smile. You’re sitting at the window seat, your body turned to Jungkook. He’s slightly turned towards you too, one of his legs curled under his body. 
“I kind of invited myself,” he chuckles, leaning onto his hand that’s support his head. 
“And I accepted your invitation,” you retort, “Taehyung would have loved it,” you add, a little bit of sadness to your tone. 
Jungkook watches you intently as you break away your gaze, to stare at the rumbling floor of the subway car. He’s chewing on his lip ring again, a habit he can’t break ever since he got it pierced months ago. He doesn’t know anything about your relationship with this Taehyung guy, but he senses that something is off. Anytime you’ve spoken about him, your eyes drift off and your attitude shifts. He can’t help but be more curious. 
“What does Taehyung do?” 
“He works in finance,” you say, “Private equity.” 
Jungkook nods slowly as he receives this information, knowing exactly what you’re saying. His own parents relationship flashes in his mind and it suddenly clicks for him. Long hours in the office, holding out for the weekends—which even then aren’t guaranteed, high stress levels. That type of financial work is no joke—it takes a toll not only on the person doing it, but everyone around them. His heart suddenly feels for you and for a brief moment he feels as if he is talking to his mother. 
He suddenly wonders why a person like you, would be with a guy like that. You have so much light and fireworks within you, he doesn’t know why you would subject yourself to a relationship that’s seemingly all black and white. People like his father and Taehyung see the world in black and white. You and Jungkook see the world in vibrant color.
“I’m assuming he stays quite busy then,” Jungkook’s words are calm; understanding even. 
You give him a tight lipped smile before you nod, “I’m sure you know.” 
His eyes study your face closely, “As long as he makes time though, it’s all that matters,” he pauses briefly, “That’s just always been the issue with my parents.” 
He doesn’t know why he’s saying what he’s saying. Internally maybe he sympathizes with you? Wants to make you feel less alone? Whatever it is, he doesn’t like how your demeanor completely changes when your boyfriend is mentioned. It’s like you’re the flame of a candle and when Taehyung is mentioned, you’re blown out. 
Though Jungkook’s words are sweet and genuine, you can't help but still feel bitterness towards Taehyung right now. 
“Clearly makes time,” you chuckle sarcastically with an eye roll, before you realize what you’re actually saying. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be ranting to you about my boyfriend,” quickly covering your tracks with another laugh, this one lighthearted. 
“Isn’t that what friends do?” He nudges your leg with his own, covering any of his own transgressions towards your boyfriend smoothly, “Listen to other friends rant about their boyfriends?” 
You smile at him before looking up at the subway to car to see how much longer you have until your stop. You’ve still got 10 minutes. 
“Are you telling me there’s a boyfriend I haven’t heard you rant about?” You raise a brow at him attempting to make a joke with him. 
He chuckles, “I don’t discriminate,” he says pointedly, “But no, no one to complain about at the moment.” 
“That’s a little surprising to me,” you tell him honestly. He makes a humming noise in question, “I mean you’re funny, talented, attractive—“ you stop yourself, your heart twisting embarrassingly at your words. 
A playful smile crosses his lips, “Don’t inflate my ego too much Y/N.” 
You immediately shove him playfully telling him to shut up underneath your breath, “You know what I mean though.” 
His eyes look away from you as he looks to the front of the subway car. An exhale leaves his lips, shrugging his shoulders, “I dated a girl for a couple years but we broke up last semester,” he explains. 
You’re friends with Jungkook, so you don’t mind asking your question. “What happened?” 
He purses his lips in contemplation, his lip ring catches the reflection of the moving train, “I think I was more serious about the relationship than she was,” he clears his throat and you shuffle a little awkwardly in your seat, “I think we just wanted different things at the end of the day. It’s hard to make something like that work long term, you know?” 
His words send your heart rate skyrocketing and you can’t help but ask yourself if that’s the situation you and Taehyung are in. Though you and Taehyung have voiced a life together—actions speak louder than words. You look up again. Five minutes. 
You nod in response, unable to form any words. 
“It’s fine though,” he says, “Everything happens for a reason.” 
“Yeah, including meeting a guy who knocked me on my ass the first two times I met him,” you say jokingly, though you mean every word. You’re sure Jungkook was placed in your life for a reason; like a blossoming star in the galaxy burning bright to light up a universe. 
“You actually knocked me on my ass one of those times.” 
“Oh please,” you roll your eyes, “That was all dramatics Jeon Jungkook, I can see right through you.” 
He smirks with playful eyes, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” 
“I don’t know… is it?” Subconsciously, you bite your lip under his gaze. It drives Jungkook nuts. 
He quirks an eyebrow at you with soft eyes, “You tell me.” 
His gaze his heavy and there’s palpable tension between you two as the train comes to a slow. Thank god. 
 “This is my stop,” you announce. 
“I can walk with you if you want?” He offers, not wanting to leave you alone if you really don’t want to be alone. 
You shake your head softly since it’s still light outside, “I’m alright, thank you though.” 
He nods, not pushing you any farther. After the train stills fully, he stands up to let you through. Your chest brushes against his as you shimmy between him and the seats behind you. Unable to look away from him as you maneuver, you feel the tension increase with no space between you two. God, why does he have to look at you that way?
“Let me know when you get home,” he says as you get by him. You nod, waving him a final goodbye, a familiar heaviness in the bottom of your stomach. 
It takes about seven minutes to reach your complex from the subway station and as you’re walking into the main lobby, your phone pings. 
[Jeon Jungkook 5:23 PM] image.png
The image takes a moment to load, but a smile spreads across your face when you open it. The mirror selfie is cute as hell and it almost looks couple-ly. Jungkook is standing behind you, his arm thrown around your shoulder as you lean into him. You’re soft smiling into the camera, a peace sign in your left hand. You save the image to your camera roll immediately. 
[You 5:25 PM] Thank you :) I just got home btw! 
He sends a thumbs up, before another picture is sent through. This one loads faster since you’ve just walked into your apartment and his words leave you feeling like something is clogging your windpipe. 
It’s a picture that you had no idea he took of you—though you can’t really see any details of yourself, it’s stunning picture. Your silhouette in the dark with the surrounding lights is simply beautiful. 
[Jungkook 5:27 PM] I think you’re beautiful enough to fit into that exhibit 
[You 5:27 PM] You too
Yeah, you’re fucked.
For anyone else it was just another Monday, but for you—there had been a new page turned. You have no idea what conspired in your brain from Saturday to now, nevertheless something changed. Well, there had been a couple changes since then, however you’re trying to not focus on that. 
You woke up early this Monday with an itchiness to your body. You ended up going to a spin class at 6 AM, before hurrying to shower and getting to the university by 7:30. Before you could rethink your decision, you were throwing out every piece of artwork that you had finished in the last two months. A part of you was already regretting trashing the canvases as you hauled them overhead into the large dumpster bins. The major part of you felt relief and a sense of newness—for the first time in months, you felt inspired. 
The only way you knew you could take advantage of this newfound creative impulse, was to rid yourself of anything holding you back. That meant getting rid of the shit pieces you thought you would submit for the exhibition. 
You manically texted Sana a picture of your now empty studio and she responded immediately. 
[Sana 8:17 AM] what the actual fuck did you just do
[Sana 8:17 AM] Y/N it’s literally 8 AM are you okay 
You can’t help but laugh at her words as you sit in the floor of your workspace, typing a response quickly. 
[You 8:18 AM] A new me has awakened… that or I’m just very sleep deprived and acting out
[Sana 8:20 AM] i think it could be the latter
[Sana 8:20 AM] where has this new me come from? 
You purse your lips, trying to block out the scene from your brain. 
[You 8:21 AM] My therapist lol 
You know that’s not it, at least not all the way. Sure talking to her was always a highlight of your week when you did, finding a new perspective on your childhood and need for outside validation—but that was another story for a different day. A new wave of emotions—confusing, chest-tightening emotions have crawled through your veins in the last two days. Even if you know it’s so wrong—you’re holding onto them for the sake of the exhibit and your own sanity. 
It’s not long after when you pick out a new, clean fresh canvas for you to work on. You set it up on one of your larger easels, facing it towards the sunlight as best as you can. You decide to take a page from Sana’s book by creating a rough sketch of what you want to eventually put on the canvas. The ideas in your head are so particular, and so—heart wrenching—you wanted to ensure you translated it well. 
It takes about an hour to sketch the rough outline for the painting. You knew that painting this first piece would probably take a few days if you were consistent with it, wanting to add as much detail as possible. Realism was your speciality, but it never gets any easier. The slightest mistake can make a face, or hands, go from looking like a photograph to a cartoon character. You didn’t know what you wanted to call the piece yet, though you had a few ideas rummaging through your brain. 
Seokjin is calling you in for his 11 AM sketch class which you help with regularly. As you leave the serenity of your workspace, sudden anxiety fills your body. Your hands are clammy, your throat feels as if it’s constricting on itself, and your tummy is doing flips. Seeing him is the last thing you need, but you know his schedule very well at this point. 
A week ago, you wouldn’t have cared. Now, you feel as if an invisible line as been crossed.
As you step into the classroom, your mouth goes dry. Jungkook is sat in the middle of the classroom beside Lisa, both of them looking a little tired and chatting randomly. 
Seokjin looks at you with a small smile, “You were here early this morning,” he comments. 
You give him a smile back, hoping he doesn’t murder you after you say your next words, “I threw out my pieces.” 
His face drops, all color leaving it, “You did what?” He looks stunned as you grimace at him with an apologetic look on your face. He glances down at his watch which says it’s now exactly 11 before he says under his breath, “We’ll talk about this later.” 
It sounds threatening, but you know if you explain yourself well enough—he’ll let it slide. After all, he clearly wasn’t a fan of what you presented to him recently. You’ll prove to him that you’re new stuff will be ready for the exhibition, and more importantly—present a much better side of your art. 
“I hope everyone had a good weekend,” Seokjin greets everyone, with a few tired responses back. “Just a reminder for all of you participating in the exhibition, your pieces will be due at the end of this month, so make sure you’re staying on top of your deadlines.” 
You zone out of Seokjin’s housekeeping information for the class, letting your eyes wander around the classroom. Sketching was one of his larger classes, with students in other departments also taking the class as an elective. It was personally one of your favorite classes in undergrad. You were happy to help this class, given you felt you could actually help the students if they needed it. 
A breath hitches in the back of your throat when your gaze meets Jungkook’s from the front of the classroom. He’s staring at you with purpose, though his gaze soft and curious. You hadn’t spoken to him since your last text after the art exhibition. That wasn’t the plan, but given your mind wandering to places it shouldn’t have, you felt if you did talk to him—he would see right through you. 
You quickly break his eyes, unable to hold it without feeling too hot. 
A fucking sex dream. 
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook. 
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate. 
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummy. 
A fucking sex dream about Jeon Jungkook who happens to be your subordinate in which you woke up in a panic, then having to use your vibrator to release the tension in your tummy—all while you have a boyfriend who’s away on a work trip. 
You’re unsure if you have ever had a dream so realistic and so blissful—even with Taehyung. Every time you closed your eyes since Saturday, all you could see was Jungkook’s face buried in between your thighs, your back arching off whatever surface you resided. 
You force yourself to stop thinking about it—you’re in the classroom for fucksakes. The last thing you need is for people to notice you squeezing your thighs together under the desk you’re sat.
“Y/N, are you good with that?” 
“Hm?” You mumble, realizing you’ve daydreamed through whatever Seokjin just explained. 
He looks annoyed as he lets out a deep breath, “Being the hand model today?” 
Your eyes widen, your mouth parting as you look down at your hands. Thankfully you got a manicure last week, though the almond acrylics have already grown out some. Even though Seokjin was posing everything as a question, you knew you had no choice. Especially if you didn’t want him on your ass about throwing out your paintings, you really had no choice. 
You nod slowly, Seokjin soon setting up the projector and camera for you to place your hands under. 
“Take as long as you need, turn in your sketches here,” Seokjin taps the corner of the large desk you’re sat at. 
You’re given free rein on how you position your hands, so you settle on something feminine and simple. You lay your left hand over your right delicately, your right palm flat against the wood. You feel a little insecure with your hands being projected as 10x the size above your head, but you relax knowing it’s just what you artists do. If you were in the students position, you would have much rather sketched your hands than the one time Seokjin made you all sketch someone’s feet one time in undergrad. 
The classroom stays pretty much silent, pencils and erasers against paper the only sound radiating. Time goes by slowly as they all continue to sketch, your eyes having not really left anything in close proximity to you. 
That changes when you hear a throat clearing, a tone you could pick out in a crowd. 
“Do you care to move your left hand a little forward, Y/N?” 
Jungkook’s voice is smooth through the silence. Instinctively, your eyes meet his again. You give him a nod as you reposition your hands slightly. It takes him a moment to get back to drawing, his gaze heavy on your eyes. You have to break away, your thighs itching for more relief. You look down at your hands, wondering how they would look around his cock. You imagine he’s thick, veiny—stop it, you idiot!
Whatever was going on in your head, it needed to be stopped and fast. You just didn’t know if you actually wanted it to. 
Taehyung comes back Friday morning, giving you a call as soon as he lands. You’re finishing up the piece you started on Monday when your phone rings. 
“Hi baby,” Taehyung greets you and you can hear a smile in his tone. It makes you smile in return. “Happy Friday,” he says knowingly.
“Happy Friday to you,” you respond, taking solace on your small couch for a small break. “You just land?” 
“About an hour ago, just got into my ride, heading to the office,” he explains. 
“You just got back from a two week trip and they’re making you go in office?” You ask him with confusion lacing your tone. You had no idea how he kept up with the demands of his job—if anything, the older you two get, you feel sorry for him. You knew he loved his job, but goddamn—it has to be too much sometimes? 
“Only working a half day today,” he pauses, “When do you finish today?” He asks eagerly. 
“Hmm,” you look at your watch, a nice gold piece of jewelry Taehyung actually got you a couple years ago for Christmas, “I’ll probably leave around three today.” 
“I’ll come to your place then,” he says, a particularly suggestive tone to his voice. You find yourself smiling as you relax into the couch some, letting out a deep sigh. “Roses and a bottle of champagne included,” he adds. 
“No need for all that,” you bite your lip in anticipation, “Unless we’re celebrating something?” 
“Lots to celebrate baby,” he says, “You and I have a fancy date tomorrow.” 
“Do we?” You press, chewing on some skin around your thumb nail but quickly stop, not wanting to ruin your cuticles. You then bring your left hand up, staring at your ring finger. 
“Oh yes,” he says hurriedly, “Listen I’m about to go into the office, but I’ll give you more details when I come over okay? Love you.” 
“I love you too,” you say before he’s ending the call. While your heart swells at the thought of “celebrating,” something, you can’t help but be a little skeptical. The rush in Taehyung’s tone shows there’s something he’s nervous about, but you take it as a good thing. Nervous about proposing? You could only hope. 
The rest of the afternoon you finish up your painting, a relieved sigh coming from your lips as you sign the bottom right corner with your initials. It’s just how you imagined it—the bubbles leaving the girl’s mouth and nose as she screams under the water, her hands clawing for the surface, but the weight of a cinderblock tied to her ankle sinking her down in an abyss of dark water. 
You settle on calling it Drowning for the Sake of Drowning. 
As you’re gathering up your belongings to get ready to leave, you exhale in relief. You’ve kept the door to your workspace closed all week unlike usual, indicating for no one to bother you. Sana brought you lunch a couple days ago but aside from that, little to no interaction has occurred with anyone. 
You’ve managed to fully avoid Jungkook this entire week after the sketching class on Monday—which is exactly what you’ve needed. The boy with the lip piercing has taken up too much space in your brain recently. You like having Jungkook as a friend, but that’s all he can ever be and until your brain can separate that and whatever feelings you’ve garnered for him over the last few weeks, avoiding him like the plague is your only solution. 
Of course, nothing in your life ever goes to plan which is why you nearly knock yourself over when you run right into him as you leave your office. 
“Shit, you okay? We really have to stop doing this,” He asks you with a slight laugh. It takes you a moment to nod in response as you stare up at him with parted lips. Any progress you’ve made of pushing him out of your mind, crumbling entirely. He’s in your brain again, his face in your thighs, hands gripping your hips—
“You’re leaving already?” He asks as he observes your tote bag held tight to you, the door to your space closed. 
You clear your throat while simultaneously clearing your head, “Y-yeah, I finished my piece early,” you pause, debating if you should say your next sentence, but you know morally you should, “Taehyung came back today.”
Jungkook stiffens, scratching the back of his head, “Can we talk?” His voice is timid, but stern in what he wants. 
If you hadn’t thought about your answer, you probably would have gladly invited him back into your workspace and god knows what would have happened. 
“I can’t right now,” you say, “I’m meeting Taehyung around three,” you explain, your feet picking yourself up to brush past him. It’s close to 2:45, which means you don’t have much time to get home. 
Jungkook startles you when he grabs your forearm to stop you, “Y/N, wait,” his voice is rushed and desperate as he turns his body to face you, you pressed flush against his chest. You jerk out of his grip, taking steps backwards. 
“Jungkook,” you say warningly, “I can’t do this right now,” your voice is weak and unconvincing as you turn around, rushing away from him. 
Jungkook decides on letting you go giving a frustrated tug on his hair as he watches your frame disappear down the hallway. 
“Fuck,” he mumbles to himself, kicking the closest wall to him, ignoring any pain that shoots up from his foot. 
You’re standing in front of your large mirror, examining your dress to ensure it’s smooth in all the right places. It’s a silk midi-dress that’s a light sage green color complimenting your skin tone beautifully. There’s small, tasteful cutouts on the side that leads it to an open back. 
“Wow baby,” Taehyung gives you a pretty smile as he enters your bedroom, “You look great.” 
You’re in the process of lacing up your heels around your ankle, throwing him a small smile. 
“Thank you, you look handsome.” 
He’s wearing another one of his immaculately tailored suits, though he’s ditched a tie and vest, opting for a more casual look—well casual for him being that it’s a work-sponsored party. 
Turns out, the big fancy date Taehyung referred to yesterday was an invite only company party at Taehyung’s boss’s, boss’s, boss’s estate. While it wasn’t a typical Saturday night for you two, with a chance to dress up with free food and booze, it was something you couldn’t say no to. (Even if you wanted to say no—you really had no choice—you were there to support Taehyung.)
“Will you help me with this?” You ask him as you hold up a necklace. He obliges, stepping towards you, he gently grabs the necklace ensuring any stray hair pieces were out of the way as he encircles to clasp it around your neck. Once he’s finished, he wraps two strong arms around your front, pulling you flesh against his front. 
“You smell good,” he inhales your scent as he nuzzles into your neck, pressing his hips into your backside. 
“Taehyung,” you laugh, fighting away from his grip, “Our ride is almost here,” you turn around giving him a pointed look. He pouts with a groan, but you give him a quick peck to wipe the sour look off his face. 
The estate is about thirty minutes outside the city and being in such a fancy car with a driver, you already feel slightly uncomfortable. One of the reasons you were attracted to Taehyung was because of how different he was from you and your upbringing. You felt as if you desperately craved something different from what your parents had. You liked the idea of simplicity—black and white. No chaotic artsy types. However, as the car continues its drive to the fanciest suburb of the city, you can’t help but feel the differences swallowing you whole. 
Taehyung’s busy on his phone seeming to be answering emails—yes, at 8 PM on a Saturday night. Your foot is tapping nervously against the floor, an uneasy feeling settling again in your tummy. Ever since Taehyung showed up at your apartment yesterday—a man of his words—with roses and champagne, something deep within you felt off. Flashes of another set of brown eyes strike across your lids each time you close them. 
You obviously hadn’t had sex since Taehyung had been gone, almost a three week dry spell, and it was just… okay. You found it hard to relax the minute Taehyung initiated it, your muscles tense as he undressed you slowly wanting to make love to you after one glass of champagne. Maybe it’s where Taehyung is still keeping secret on whatever you two are supposed to be celebrating or it’s Jeon Jungkook himself—your body physically wouldn’t let you come in Taehyung’s presence. Two rounds of sex ended with you having to use your vibrator to finally get off and the third round this morning, you ending up faking an orgasm—something you haven’t done in years. 
The driver is in queue for drop off service, letting you and Taehyung out as soon as he could. You eyes are marveling at the sheer size of the home. It almost makes you sick when you think about people having this much money. There’s not one, not two—but three fountains just at the front of the house. Two are positioned beside the large entrance and the third is in the middle of the circled driveway. 
From what you can tell, there are a good amount of people inside already, the large windows indicating that. 
“Whose house this again?” You say in awe as Taehyung grabs your hand. 
“The President of our company,” he says, keeping his voice low as other people are walking in around you. 
“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself when you cross the threshold, immediately greeted with flutes of champagne. 
Taehyung smiles down at you as he takes a sip, “Get used to it baby,” he comments with a light-hearted tone, but you know he’s being serious. You don’t like it. 
The inside of the home is just as lavish as it looks from the outside. It’s modern, with clean lines and sharp contrasts of whites, creams, browns, and blacks. The large foyer is an open concept, the house opening up in multiple ways. There’s two staircases that lead to the upstairs, corridors that lead elsewhere to the left and right, and if you continue straight, that’s where the main party seems to be. The living room is large and open, warm ambient lighting filling the space. There’s a 70’s inspired conversational pit with a large plush couch that’s the center of the room. It’s absolutely stunning. 
You two haven’t been in the house for two minutes until his coworkers and others are coming up to greet Taehyung. He introduces you with a big smile, holding you by the waist as he does so. You sense you’re one of the younger ones of the groups you go around to, sometimes forgetting that Taehyung has almost four years on you. His words come naturally to him and you try your best to converse with people and their plus ones—but you find it hard, unable to find any common ground with anyone. 
Taehyung is talking to one of his closet coworkers that you’ve met many times—Jaebum—before the latter’s eyes widen. 
“Shit Tae, there he is,” he speaks lowly, his head directing what he’s referring to. 
“Who?” You ask curiously, looking around to find someone special but everyone seems to look the same. Clean cut, nice suits, hot women and men as their dates, a few children even running around freely. 
“The President,” Taehyung explains, “Shit and he’s coming over here with Minwoo,” he sounds nervous, Jaebum visibly shifting his weight in his shoes. Minwoo was Taehyung’s boss—luckily you remember that from previous work tangents. 
As Minwoo and the president approaches the small group of you three, you suddenly feel a little insecure when Taehyung takes a step away from you. A large smile spreads across his face as they approach and your feet hurt a little more now that he’s not letting you lean on him. Is he ashamed of you? Why did he step away? 
“Kim Taehyung, Lim Jaebum, the two greatest assets to my team,” Minwoo smiles widely as he enters your circle. 
“Minwoo, how are you?” Taehyung reaches out to give him a handshake, then bowing to the President. 
“Can’t complain about anything,” Minwoo has a great smile, “Who is this beautiful lady?” His eyes have gravitated to you. 
“This is Y/N,” Taehyung introduces you with a nervousness to his tone, “She’s my girlfriend.”
“Nice to meet both of you,” you smile with a small bow of respect. 
“These are the two I’ve heard so much about, eh?” The President speaks with a cadence that sounds familiar but you can’t place your tongue on it. 
“Like I said, the very best in the Seoul office,” he smiles, “Have either of you met President Jeon?”
It’s as if your entire world shuts down instantaneously. It can’t be—there’s no way. 
“I can’t say we’ve ever had the pleasure sir,” Jaebum nudges Taehyung and suddenly you have never felt more uncomfortable, more out of place, than ever. 
They all speak briefly before suddenly, President Jeon’s attention is set on you. As you study his face, you feel your nightmare coming true. Finance, the eye shape, the nose—
“So what do you do Miss Y/N? Are you involved in business too?” He asks with a smile, though you’re unsure if it’s just a facade. 
You’re nervous to answer, but you finally muster to shake your head, “No sir,” you start, “I’m an artist, I’m under apprenticeship with someone right now.”
His eyes suddenly light up, “Really? Which artist do you work with?” He sounds fascinated and you hate where you think this may be going. 
“Kim Seokjin, I’m not sure if you know of him,” suddenly in need of a glass of something stronger than champagne. 
“Do I know Kim Seokjin?” He nearly laughs, “If you walk the halls of the house I’m sure you’ll recognize some of his pieces on the walls,” he says boastfully, your nightmare coming true, “One of my sons actually goes to university where he teaches, you may know him… Jeon Jungkook?” 
For whatever reason, the mention of this name catches Taehyung’s attention who is caught up in conversation with Minwoo and Jaebum. He’s listening to the original conversation in one ear, the other trained in on yours with the President.
“I don’t think I do actually,” you lie smoothly trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. 
“Ah, that’s a shame, though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes so that might be a good thing,” he jokes with a laugh before turning his attention back to Taehyung and Jaebum. 
When you look back up at Taehyung, he’s staring at you with an intense glare, his jaw slightly clenched. You furrow your eyebrows, asking him a silent, “what’s wrong?” He ignores it, his face relaxing back to normal when he looks at his superiors. 
“Well, I truly hope that after the move you two only continue to move up in the company as quickly as you already have,” Minwoo says a you zone back into their conversation. Wait, what? 
“Ah yes,” President Jeon says, “The office in Chicago is nearly finished and to be able to fill it with analysts of your caliber, it will only continue to grow this great company.” 
Chicago?! Your face falls, your eyebrows furrowing as you look over at Taehyung. His body is tense, but he’s refusing to look at you. You suddenly feel dizzy and sick to your stomach, your hands clammy as if you’re going to throw up. Before Taehyung can stop you while his attention is elsewhere, you excuse yourself, attempting to find the nearest bathroom. 
The house is gigantic and it doesn’t take long to find a one as you’re sure there are probably 20 on the entire property. You balance yourself on the sink, turning on the cold water water quickly. You grab a towel to wet it, carefully applying it to your chest to cool off. 
Taehyung’s being moved? Is Taehyung choosing to move? When was he going to tell you this?! Is this the sole reason he asked to move in together?! But meaning in Chicago, not here?! 
You needed a fucking drink. You throw the towel in a waste basket, exiting the bathroom quickly. You hold onto the wall as you walk down the hallway, looking for the nearest open bar. You manage to find one set up just outside, which overlooks a large entertainment area and pool. If you squint, in the distance you can see the lights of the city. God—you wanted to go home. 
You settle for a glass of a dark red wine, sniffing it before you take a large sip. It instantly relaxes you, the alcohol moving past your tongue easily. If anything—it tastes like grape juice. 
Wanting to avoid Taehyung at all costs, you mosey around the party, finding a staircase outside that leads back into the house. You slowly take the stairs, your mind racing a million miles per hour. You’re sure Taehyung has tried to call you at this point, but your phone is buried deep in your shoulder bag on purpose. You don’t think you can face him at all right now. After this glass of wine, you’ve decided you’re going to call an Uber and get the hell out of here. 
As you reach the top of the stairs, you stop dead in your tracks. Right in front of you stands Jeon Jungkook. He’s bent at the waist, leaning over the railing with a wine glass in hand. His gaze was looking out into nothing but since he’s heard heels coming up stairs to his right, his head turns to find you. 
He nearly drops his wine glass—which would have definitely injured someone below—or at least severely stained a shirt or two. 
“Y/N?” He asks, standing up tall. Goddamnit, you think. He’s dress immaculately in a thickly-striped suit with a white button up that’s slightly undone at the top. His hair is slightly parted back off his forehead and you feel yourself spiraling. 
“What are you doing here?” He asks after you’re unable to speak. After meeting Jungkook’s father, you’re definitely not surprised to see him here—but if anything, you feel as if you could break down in tears at any moment. 
You realize that you’ve seemingly walked up to a balcony that enters into a large bedroom. You wonder if it’s Jungkook’s bedroom, or just a random guest balcony he’s found solace in. 
“I—“ you cut yourself off, trying to keep your composure, “I’m with Taehyung,” you manage to croak out. You can see the puzzle pieces clicking together for Jungkook in his head despite the darkness surrounding you two. However, it’s not that he cares about—
“Y/N… are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern, stepping towards you slightly. 
He notices the way your wine glass subtly shakes in your hand, your breathing uneven, your lips tucked away as you begin to shake your head no. He makes no time in rushing over to you steadying yourself against him. 
“What happened?” He asks as his brows lace with confusion as he settles you some against the railing, feeling a worry creep into him like he’s never felt before. 
You’re more even with Jungkook’s height in your heels now, your eyes bearing deep into his. His presence is calming you down and you feel safe right here. You open your mouth to speak, though nothing comes out. He’s patient and gentle with you, waiting for whenever you’re ready. 
You take another sip of your wine before speaking, “I think Taehyung’s been lying to me.” 
Jungkook’s face falls, “What do you mean?” He asks in a rush. 
“It’s not important,” is what you settle on. You don’t know if you’re in the mood to explain anything to Jungkook—let alone if you want to explain anything.
His face goes straight, letting out a deep breath, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he pauses, stepping away from you some to lean against the rail whilst facing you. “But I’m here if you want to talk… I want you to be okay.” 
His words feel like a warm hug wrapping around your heart. You lean back on your elbows, staring up at the stars. Deep breathes, you tell yourself. When you look back to him, his gaze hasn’t left you at all. 
“How can I be okay in a world like this?” Your voice breaks off as you bat tears away in your eyes. “All of this,” you motion with your hands, referencing all the luxury and extravagance, wine dangerously swishing around, “Wasn’t supposed to be the plan… why does my partner of almost five years feel the need to not tell me about him moving six-thousand miles away for his fucking job,” your voice now bitter and angry as you break his eye contact. 
Shit, Jungkook thinks. He bites his lip ring, contemplating his words and emotions. He hates to compare you to his mother—you’re much more of a strong-headed person than her—but it’s so reminiscent of his childhood and listening to her on the phone with her girlfriends and the arguments with his father. 
“It’s only ever about work with him,” you continue, a fire burning deep within you, “Why should I have to be the one to drop everything in my life to cater to him? Have the past five years of my life been a fucking waste?” again, you have to be conscious of your center of gravity as you feel tears wanting to brim over. 
“Don’t say that,” he quickly interjects, his tone soft and calm. 
“Well it sure fucking feels like it Jungkook,” you spit back at him, though he remains calm and collected. “He won’t even fucking marry me yet he’ll drop everything for this job and all the fucking fake extravagance of it all.” 
When you mention marriage, Jungkook is slightly taken aback. Obviously he’s picked up that your relationship has been long and serious, but there’s been no indication of thoughts of marriage. Hell, Jungkook didn’t even hear you mention Taehyung until weeks after you first met. 
Your voice trembles as you speak, unable to fight your emotions anymore, "I want friendship in my love for Taehyung but I don't want just a friend," you sip on the wine slowly as Jungkook watches you closely.
"I want to be cared for, and protected, and indulged⎯⎯" you pause again, trying to make sense of your words, "I want to be chosen everyday... is that too much of me to ask?"
Jungkook shifts in his position to fully face you. He shakes his head, one of his hands brushing a piece of hair behind your ear gently.
"It's never too much to ask," he says, his words careful yet understanding. He's felt these emotions all too well himself. He chose his ex-girlfriend everyday, yet she seemingly never chose him. It's an excruciating pain when you love someone more than they love you.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this,” you mutter, downing the rest of your wine glass to avoid a spill. 
“Y/N, you know I care about you,” he says with a careful tone. You meet his gaze again, which now is a little more harsh as if something is stirring inside him, “Can I be honest with you?” He raises a brow. 
“Always,” you whisper, slightly afraid of what he’s about to say. Mirroring you, he downs the rest of his wine too for some confidence.
“I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t belong and out of place. I mean this is where I fucking grew up,” he lifts a hand, a laugh emitting from him, “I think you’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. Y/N, you posses a talent that people can only dream of. You’re smart, and kind, and funny, and so fucking beautiful,” he pauses as he clenches his jaw, “You walk into a room and all I see is you. You radiate a spark that I can’t even begin to describe how special you are and if—“ 
He cuts himself off, afraid he may take it too far, but when you’re still fully attentive, he says it anyways. 
“And if you marry someone like him, I’m afraid that spark will go away,” he pauses, “I know it will go away… because it happened to my mother,” his voice is barely a whisper as he finishes, him being the one to break eye contact with you. “So no, it's not too much to ask. You deserve someone who chooses you, puts you above everything—“ he cuts himself off before he can continue on, sighing deeply as he glances away from you. 
You’re simply speechless as his words sink into your bones. Your breath is shaky and you can tell Jungkook thinks he’s overstepped his boundaries. You don’t think he has, but his words do feel like someone has cauterized your insides. It hurts to hear a harsh truth, but as his words sink in, you can’t help but wonder if he’s right. 
“Sorry I just—“
“It’s okay,” you speak softly when you interrupt him, “I want you to know that… I think you’re special too, Jungkook.” 
Jungkook’s hand that’s on the railing begins to tighten around it, his knuckles turning white as frustration pulses through his veins. You notice his tight grip and you place your own hand over his to relax him some. There’s mere inches between you two now, but it’s comforting and it feels like only you two are left in the world—the party raging down below and throughout the house drowning out. While your head is spinning from the two glasses of alcohol that you had sipped on earlier, you know that most of it comes from his intoxicating scent. He’s everywhere at all times and you think this is some sick joke manifesting itself into reality as you feel yourself leaning into him. When he says your name slow and calculated, you know that you’re a puddle in his hands, ready for all the consequences that may come with your decision. You just don’t know exactly how it could have reached this point. 
“Y/N,” he says again as he’s now got you trapped between his body and the railing, your nose is brushing against his and you’ve never experienced a want so badly in your life, “We shouldn’t do this.” 
Your breathing is rugged and nervous as you look into his eyes. 
“I know,” you whisper back, your throat feeling like it could close up any second. 
You have no idea who leans in first, but when your lips touch his—it’s a spark that might as well be made of lightening. It’s terrifying the way it took only three seconds to melt into him and get a groove. He feels like he’s been dipped in honey and you’re eating him sweet and slowly. He inhales deeply through his nose as he deepens the kiss by opening your mouth with his tongue, his lip ring slightly cold against your skin. He tastes like red wine, furthering intoxicating you against the railing. Your hands slide up his chest, tangling into his hair as you pull him flush against you.
He breaks the kiss for a moment, looking you in the eyes again for another silent question of consent. You nod quickly, missing the feeling of him on you. This time, he kisses you a bit rougher as one hand digs into your waist, the other halfway choking you. God—this is so wrong, so morally wrong—but every bone in your body is screaming yes. 
You don’t think you’ve experienced anything of this magnitude in years. You feel him growing hard in front of you, which only further escalates your feelings towards him. When you drag your hand down and over his growing bulge, he breaks away quickly. 
“Shit Y/N,” he breathes away grabbing your hand away from his most sensitive area, “We need to stop.” 
You shake your head, never wanting this moment to end. He continues to kiss you feverishly, unable to get enough of you.
“I wanna make you feel good,” you breathe out heavily as his forehead rests against yours. 
“I know baby, I do too,” his use of the word baby sends a jolt down your spine, “But we can’t.” 
His voice is strained and it’s painful for him to stop whatever was about to happen. He wants nothing more than to bury his mouth in between your legs and then stuff you full of his cock thereafter—but it has to stop. Not only is your boyfriend at this party, probably looking through hell and high water to find you—but Jungkook’s father is your boyfriend’s boss. This can’t happen. 
A small whine from rejection leaves your throat, but you know he’s right. Not only did you just cheat on your boyfriend of nearly five years—said boyfriend was still at the party you were his date at.
Fuck. 
“Are you going to go home with him?” He asks suddenly. You honestly hadn’t thought about it since being away from Taehyung. You were still angry and frustrated with him, unsure if you even wanted to see him again tonight. 
You push Jungkook away from you a little bit to shrug off your shoulder bag to retrieve your phone. To your surprise, you only have two texts and one call from Taehyung, which honestly make your heart drop. You were expecting more, but you assume that work calls and he was too busy to try and actually find you. 
[Taehyung 9:02 PM] Are you okay?? Where did you go? 
[Taehyung 9:37 PM] We should talk when we go home. Call me when you see this. 
Jungkook watches you bite your lip nervously, feeling a bits of shame fall over your body. You meet his eye contact before saying that you should go. 
“I’ll walk you out,” he offers, which you don’t refuse. You’re not sure you could find your way out of here. There’s an awkward silence between you and Jungkook as he floats through the halls of his childhood home easily. You end up recognizing two of Seokjin’s pieces on the walls and you have to roll your eyes—there’s no escaping him in your world.
You still can’t believe Jungkook grew up to be who is he when he was raised like this. Beautiful, creative, and free—all from this stuffy background when he could have easily turned out to be a nepotistic douchebag. It makes your feelings towards him only grow even deeper. 
At this point, there's no trying to fight it. You've fallen for Jungkook, your kiss with him the final seal of the deal.
The two of you have reached the foyer where you first entered and you instantly spot Taehyung up near the front door talking to another one of his colleagues. You feel like you could throw up and you almost change your mind—wanting to turn around and hide with Jungkook somewhere in this mansion. But, both of you have created a mess at this point and you’re going to have to clean it up. 
Taehyung’s eyes have traveled all over—looking worried—until they land on you. He looks relieved but as soon as he spots who you are walking with, he visibly tenses up. 
“You should go,” you turn to Jungkook, stopping in your tracks briefly. He looks down at you with an expression you can’t read, giving you one nod before he’s turning on his heel away from you. 
You don’t waste anytime looking at him not wanting Taehyung to be suspicious of anything, continuing your march to him. 
“Hey—where have you been?” Taehyung’s voice is calm, a sweet smile spreading across his face when you reach him. He doesn’t bother introducing you to the other guy and his date, ending the conversation and practically dragging you outside by the hand in a tight, rough squeeze and pull. 
“Taehyung you’re hurting me,” you manage to get out, Taehyung immediately dropping your hand. 
“Shit,” he runs a stressed hand through his hair, “I’m sorry babe,” he grabs it kissing it gently as the driver pulls up the car, “I’ve just been worried about you—“
“Only two texts and one call worried?” You retort, an offended look crossing his face. “Or are you too worried about your impression at this fucking party to worry about me? Too worried about your move to Chicago to worry about me?” Your words are fiery hot, not caring if anyone around hears you. 
His eyes narrow at you, a visible gulp in his throat. 
“We’ll talk about this at home,” his own voice is seething and you’re unsure if you’ve ever heard him this angry. As the car pulls up, his eyes flicker back over to the front entrance of the house. You promptly follow them, your heart stopping when you realize Jungkook is leaning against a column at the front of his house, lighting a cigarette in the process. 
As you get into the car, the last thing you see is Jungkook’s eyes in the dark and the glow of his cigarette. Taehyung gets in after you and you know for sure that you’ve made a wrong decision. 
“How could you hide this from me?!” You’re voice is shaky as you watch as Taehyung stands in the kitchen of his apartment, leaning on his palms, unable to keep eye contact with you. You two hadn’t spoken once in the car on the way back to his place, but as soon as you crossed the threshold—you’d been at his throat. Rightfully so.
“Y/N I was going tell to you—“ he pauses as he looks up at you, but you interject before he can say anything else. 
“When Taehyung?!” You’re fighting tears at this point, “When you got on the fucking plane to leave me here alone?!” 
He makes his way over to you and the only thing you can do is step away from him—you could barely look at him right now, let alone want him to touch you. He opens his mouth to say something back, but closes it quickly, trying to think more about his words.
“I didn’t know how to Y/N,” is what he settles for, “I swear I was going to tell you soon—I-I wanted to let you know and for us to get excited and start looking at places to live!”
You feel a tear fall from your left eye and you know that you’re done for, your jaw shaking as you try to take deep breaths in and out. You begin to shake your head, unable to form sentences. 
“Y-you should have t-talked to me about it first Taehyung, do you not understand that?” More tears fall down your cheeks and you brush them away roughly. He opens his mouth again but you stop him—“No Taehyung! Just shut up for two seconds!” Your outburst startles him, letting you continue, “We’ve been together for almost five years—five years Taehyung, you’ve continuously put your career over everything. Your family, friends, me—“
“I’m doing this for us Y/N!” He interrupts you which only makes you even more pissed off. 
“What if I don’t want it Taehyung?!” You push back, “All I’ve ever wanted was just… you. I don’t need the fancy parties, tailored suits—all the money and status, it’s all bullshit! All I needed was you and now you’re leaving your life here, expecting me to just drop everything I’ve worked for, just for you! Do you not realize how fucking selfish that is Taehyung?!” 
You can tell he’s about to cry now—a rare sight. His jaw clenches as he looks away from you, hands on his hips in frustration. When he doesn’t say anything, you take a step towards him, putting a finger to his chest. 
“You’ll go halfway across the globe, that committed to your job and you won’t even fucking commit to me—after five years—you don’t want to fully commit to me, and that’s what’s fucking killing me right now Tae…” your voice trails off, a full on sob escaping your lips now. 
“Baby you know that’s not true,” he rushes out, grabbing your wrist in desperation, “I love you so much, so fucking much. There’s never been anyone so perfect for me,” he chokes out. 
His touch is comforting, but it feels strange. You feel like you don’t know the person standing in front of you. 
You’re shaking your head slowly, “Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it,” you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, “And this is one of those times.” 
“Y/N, baby please don’t cry,” he leans down, his forehead touching yours, “We can work through this, we’ll build a good life together I promise… I just have to make this move for me, our life will be so good…” 
Selfish, selfish, selfish. 
Your heart feels like it’s being ripped to shreds in your chest. It’s like you’re drowning, unable to come up for air. Your eyes close firmly as you lean into him. 
“Taehyung I love you so much,” you whisper, “But I’m not leaving my life here,” you pause, opening your eyes again, “I can’t do it.” 
Your words feel like gunshots to your own chest, choking on your mild sobs. Taehyung is shaking his head in denial, his own emotions becoming too overwhelming. 
“No, no, no baby please,” he’s begging you, pleading with you, “Don’t say that to me please,” his deep voice is so shaky you can barely understand him, “You’re breaking my heart right now.” 
“So are you,” you can’t talk louder even if you wanted to. You felt your entire body being broken in half, as if a piece of you is being ripped out from under you, “I should go,” you wiped your face as you try to pull yourself away from him. 
He pulls you back, “No, Y/N, please don’t do this right now.” 
You fight against him, pushing yourself off of him, “I need to go home Tae.” 
He doesn’t fight you anymore, watching as you gather your purse and phone off his kitchen counter. He whispers your name again as you open his front door to leave. You turn over your shoulder, tears still streaming down your cheeks. 
“I love you,” his voice is weak and tired. 
You nod, “I love you too.” 
You find yourself sitting on the steps outside of Taehyung’s apartment building, knees to your chest as you continue to sob to yourself. Taehyung lived in one of the nicest parts of the city in one of the nicest apartment complexes, so you weren’t wary of anyone sketchy finding you on the steps. The only thing you could think about was getting out of this dress and heels—a hot shower to cry in—and curling into a warm blanket for sleep, ignoring everything that just happened. 
Was this a breakup? 
Should you go back upstairs? 
Would you really not move with Taehyung?
So many questions are spinning in your head that you need to be distracted from. You pull out your phone, calling the one person you'd want to see right now. 
You walk into the threshold of Jungkook’s apartment a little after midnight. Lucky for you, he answered on the second ring, on the way back from leaving his parents home. He’s been worried sick the entire drive back to his apartment. You’ve barely spoken a word, tears and choked sobs emitting from your lips. He made the effort to hold your hand the entire drive, which you gladly accepted. He sets down your heels at the door with his own shoes, following in behind you. 
Thankfully, you’ve calmed down significantly on the drive over. You take in your environment, inhaling the familiar scent on Jungkook. His apartment is a studio and its spotless, abate a corner filled with art supplies in his living room. The entire right side of his apartment is exposed brick, his bed situated closer to the large floor to ceiling window, a large couch a few feet over, partitioned by a desk and plant. His apartment is much more modern than yours, grey and cream being the prominent color he’s chosen to utilize. 
“Thank you,” you turn around to meet his eyes which have the same concerned look in them since he’s picked you up. 
He nods, not wanting to press any hard questions to you just yet, “Do you want some water? Anything else?” 
You nod, “Sure, water is good.” 
He quickly grabs you a glass, filling it with his Brita in the fridge, handing it over to you as fast as can. It feels good as you drink it, your throat raw from all the crying and voice raising. 
“Do you want me to take you home in a bit?” He asks hesitantly as he shrugs off his jacket. 
“I—I was hoping I could stay…” you trail off, “I’ll take the couch,” you add quickly, “I just don’t really want to be alone right now.”
He gives you a soft smile, a small dimple forming on his cheek, “Of course, I’ll take the couch, don’t worry about it.” 
Jungkook makes you feel right at home, offering you a shower and clothes. You happily take them both, turning on his shower as hot as it can go. His bathroom impresses you even more with how clean it is and you finally feel like you’re able to relax after this hellish evening. You don’t wash your hair, only scrubbing your body and makeup off, but it’s still a good shower. Jungkook’s products smell good and you like the idea of smelling like him. 
Once you’re out, you quickly change into the large long sleeve t-shirt he’s giving you. The sleeves go way past your hands and it hits you around mid-thigh. It’s soft and comfy, reminding you of many nightgowns you have back at your place. He even has some body lotion in the cabinet and you run some over your legs just so you don’t wake up ashy. 
You hang up your towel on the rack before heading back out into the studio space. You find Jungkook sitting on his couch, manspread slightly with his phone in one hand, a glass of wine in another. He must have just opened a bottle, given the cork and bottle are on the coffee table.
He notices you when you get close, sitting down beside him with a heavy sigh. Your mind and body are exhausted. His couch is comfy and you could fall asleep right now with him by your side. He offers you a sip of his wine, which you gladly take. 
“Red or white?” You ask him curiously. 
He purses his lips in contemplation before answering red, “It reminds me of grape juice,” he adds. 
You give him a small smile, the universe continuing to give parallels of your and Jungkook’s lives. 
After a few moments of silence and finishing the glass of wine together, Jungkook finally asks, “What happened Y/N?” 
Your breath is shaky and you quickly ask him to pour another glass of wine for you two. 
“I think Taehyung and I may have broken up,” you don’t believe the words as you say them yourself. Your eyes are fixated on the floor, your leg bouncing up and down to keep your composure. 
“You think?” He questions further, confusion lacing his tone. 
“H-he,” you pause, holding in any further tears, “He’s really moving,” you confirm from the conversation earlier, “He’s moving six-thousand miles away from here and just thought I would be okay with it,” you regain your consciousness, looking to your right into Jungkook’s eyes, “I don’t have to be okay with that, do I?” 
Jungkook rests his head against the back of his couch as his eyes soften for you, “No, you don’t,” he shakes his head. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry I called you, I shouldn’t—“
“Hey,” his hand finds the side of your face and you lean into his touch, “You’re my friend, you could call me anytime and I’d answer.” 
You don’t know who put Jungkook into your life or why, but the timing was immaculate. He was put in your life when you seemingly needed a breath of fresh air and a new ray from the sun. You’re thankful for it. 
“I’m sorry about earlier too,” you say, referring to the kiss you two shared on the small balcony. 
Suddenly a playful smirk spreads on his face, “I’m not,” he says biting his lip ring. You can’t help but let out a laugh, him matching you as you both down the second glass of wine. Jungkook opens up an arm for you and you cuddle up next to him, leaning into his body and scent. You’ve done a complete 180 in the last hour, all thanks to the man to your right. 
The two of you continue to talk about random things, him trying his best to make you feel better through lighthearted jokes and other things. Neither one of you mention Taehyung again which you’re grateful for. It’s not long until you find your eyes drifting to sleep, unable to keep them open any longer, you fall asleep curled into Jungkook, his head leaning on yours, wishing that he could stitch up every single wound in your heart.
You wake up the next morning pretty early, your head slightly hurting. Did you really drink that much last night? You’re warm and comfortable, the bed under you molding to your frame perfectly. When your vision finally focuses, a panicked thump of your heart occurs. Wait—you lean up on your elbows sightly looking around the apartment. Everything from last night comes rushing back into your head and you look over to your left to find Jungkook sleeping peacefully on his tummy, his face halfway buried in his pillow. 
The sight makes you smile as you maneuver underneath the covers to reach over and grab a sip of water from his small nightstand. You wonder why Jungkook is in bed with you, but then as you go through every scene in your head, you briefly remember Jungkook carrying you over to his bed, eyes barely open. You then remember telling him to stay with you, that he was warm and you were cold. Of course, he couldn’t say no. 
“Mm,” a noise comes from Jungkook garnering your attention. When you look over at him, he’s got one eye open looking at you, a small smile playing on his face, “Come back to bed,” he mutters. 
And it’s exactly what you do. You finish the small amount of water left before you situate yourself back into his sheets. Jungkook moves onto his side, opening his arms for your frame. You press your back to his chest as he pulls you close, spooning you from behind comfortably. His scent was everywhere, he was everywhere, and before you know it, you’re falling back to sleep together. 
It’s a couple hours later when you wake up again, feeling much more rested and your head not pounding anymore. Jungkook’s arm is still around your front resting just below your belly button as he holds you close. The shirt that you wear has bunched up around your hips, your bare legs touching his covered in sweatpants. 
You consider yourself to be very hyper-aware of your surroundings. You always have been—taking in every detail of every moment carefully and calculated. Sometimes you use it to your advantage, sometimes you don’t. This is one of those times where you’re feeling every detail, a breath hitching in your throat.
Jungkook is half-hard behind you. Whether it’s that, or how dangerously close his hand is to your pelvic bone, there’s a jolt of lighting that pulses through your veins. You bite your lip in contemplation weighing through options in your head. 
Taehyung and you may have broken up—a grey area still there and growing. Despite how you’re possessing guilt about last night, you’re not sure if the relationship can be salvaged—whether the kiss with Jungkook happened or not. You love him, have loved him for so long—but he’s leaving and you’re not going with him.
You definitely know you need to speak with him again, sooner rather than later. If you do nothing, you still have to speak with him. 
Jungkook has been a ray of light in your life the past month. Ever since the friendly date at the art gallery, there’s been a tension between you two that was briefly explored last night with a simple kiss. You’ve been very self-aware of your feelings for Jungkook. You know he makes you feel inspired, seen, heard—but still, if you do nothing, you still have to talk to Taehyung. 
If you do something, you’ll still have to talk to Taehyung. 
But right here, right now, it’s something that you push to the back of your mind, deciding on the latter. 
Feeling a little nervous, you push your hips back into Jungkook, though slightly moving in his grip to not make it too obvious. He doesn’t budge, so you try again. This time, Jungkook stirs behind you slightly, cortisol levels increasing with anxiousness. 
You wait a few moments before you carefully press back against him for a third time, a heavy intake of breath right near your ear. You slightly freeze when you think he may awake now, but a bundle of excitement runs through your nerves. 
When you push your ass backwards again, you feel him push himself forward—yup, most definitely awake. Jungkook’s hand that’s resting just below your belly button suddenly trails down the side of your thigh to rest just above your knee, his fingers facing inwards, gently rubbing at your exposed skin. 
“Jungkook,” you breathe out heavily, desire coating his name as you say it. You look back over your shoulder to find him with his eyes still closed, but he’s biting down on his lip harshly. 
“Mhm,” he mumbles, his hand now making its way back up to the inside of your thigh as you press your ass into him fully. Before he reaches where you feel yourself pooling for him, his eyes open giving you an intense stare. 
He’s asking for consent, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows heavily. Instinctively, you open your legs slightly before saying, “Touch me, please.” 
He hesitates before he sits up a little behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder gently. Finally, his hand meets your center, your nipples hardening as you let out a sigh. Two of his fingers rub in circles delicately over the fabric of your panties, blood already rushing down to your clit as he does so. 
You spread your legs a little more, your left hand supporting the back of your thigh as he continues to work against you. Your panties are a flimsy thong, barely covering your lips anyways but the moment he finally moves the fabric out of the way, a shutter leaves your lips. 
“Fuck,” he says, his fingers feeling at the wetness, “You’re soaked baby,” experimentally, he dips one finger in quickly and back out to run your slick over your swelling clit. 
“Mhmm,” you mumble, “Fuck I need you Jungkook,” you say honestly, your breath slightly unhinged. He moves himself a little, to get a better look over his shoulder. 
“Move the sheets baby,” he says with a groan from the back of his throat. You do as you're told, both of you now fully able to see when he sinks his fingers into your dripping cunt. 
“Oh—“ you breathe out heavily as he slowly begins to move in and out of you. 
He rubs your g-spot inside of you a few times before he begins to curl his fingers inside you. Jungkook continues to only grow harder as he fingers you—your hot slick inside making him too excited. A familiar yet naughty sound of your slick against his fingers begin to fill the room. It’s visceral and hot, leaving your body wanting more. 
With your free hand, you grab one of your breasts, stimulating your nipple through the material of his shirt. 
“Shit,” he says, “Let’s take this off,” he says and you quickly oblige as he pulls out his fingers to let your rid yourself of the fabric. Your tits bounce free and Jungkook swears he could come right then and there. 
His fingers descend back into your cunt, this time a faster pace as he rolls you on your back some. His mouth latches over your left nipple, a content exhale coming through his nose. A hand twists into his hair as your moans continue to get louder once he begins a steady pace against your clit with his thumb. Your breathing is picking up rapidly, your back arching off the mattress as he works his way to making you come. 
“Jungkook—fuck I’m gonna come,” you tell him through bated breath as his mouth works against your breast, your neck and earlobe, and finally meets your mouth hungrily. 
“Come on baby,” he says into your mouth and as if on cue, your orgasm is tipped off the cliff, your face contorting as it shudders through your body. 
“Ah, ah!” Your body twitches against his as he works you through your orgasm, telling you just how good you’re doing and how pretty you look. When you finally feel like your body has given everything it’s got, you lean up to crash your lips onto Jungkook’s, whose body is still behind of you as he leans over to kiss you. 
With your thighs now closed, you two have no space between each other, his cock straining against his sweatpants to be free. You reach behind you, pushing his pants down, unable to wait any longer. 
“Wait, wait,” he breathes heavily, his hand grabbing yours before you can fully push his sweatpants down, “Are you sure?” 
A strained whine leaves your lips as you nod quickly, “I need you so bad Jungkook,” you say which is all he needs to finish taking off his pants, underwear-less, his beautiful cock springing out against his tummy. He’s bigger and thicker than you could have imagined, veiny and a pink tip the color of his lips just waiting to be sucked into you. 
“I have condoms in the nightstand,” he says. You quickly reach over since it’s on your side, digging one out quickly. You tear the packet open with your teeth before you hand it over to him. With the little space you’re giving him, he’s rolling down the condom, a sharp intake of breath as he touches himself. 
You’re about to roll onto your back before he stops you, “Stay on your side baby,” he instructs as he presses himself against your back again. His left hand lifts up your leg, your cunt now fully exposed to the colder air, a shiver sent down your entire body. He rubs his tip against your slit, an explicative falling from his mouth when he finally begins to push inside you. 
He so big—the stretch slightly burning as he works into you. There definitely could have been more foreplay involved, but the desire for this man was too strong to wait anymore. You don’t even realize that you’re holding your breath until he’s pushed at the hilt, his pelvis against your backside fully. 
“It’s okay baby, I got you,” he manages to say as he relished in your slick warmth, “God I’ve dreamed out this so much,” he says as he pulls out slowly before even slower pushing back in. 
“Me too,” you breathe out truthfully as you hold his head close to your own; shit it burns, “Is it living up to your expectation?” 
He licks his lips with a slight chuckle, relishing in a heavy moan you’ve just let escape. 
“Turns out my imagination isn’t as good as I thought,” it’s the last thing he says before he picks up his pace inside you. 
He hooks his arm under your leg to open you up even further, looking down the front of your body to watch himself go in and out of your pussy. He fills you up to the point where it’s dizzying. You’re still sensitive from your orgasm earlier, your mouth slack as he pumps himself with a good stroke. 
“Fuck,” he groans heavily, “You’re so perfect baby,” his breath is hot over your neck, unable to form words yourself—whiney moans emitting from your lips. 
You crane your head to look back at him, your noses brushing together before you reach up to meet your lips together. It’s a messy kiss—wet and hot as you breathe into each other’s mouths, his tongue working against yours. With your free hand, you bring it to stimulate yourself from the outside against your clit, a shudder going through your breath. 
“That’s it baby, touch yourself for me,” he watches as you circle your clit, your pussy squeezing around him tightly. You already feel another orgasm approaching you, but Jungkook suddenly pulls completely out of you, leaving you breathless. 
“Jungkook?” You ask as he turns you flat on your back, his lips trailing down to your pussy, his tongue meeting your center. 
“Didn’t want to come yet,” he explains as he begins to eat you out as if its his last meal. His lip ring is cold against your sensitive skin. He open mouth licks, kisses, and sucks all on you and your clit. Your hips arches off the mattress, explicative falling out of your mouth. You taste sweet and Jungkook’s sure its the best he’s ever had. 
As Jungkook focuses on your clit, sucking in with harsh lips you tell him you’re going to come again. Your mouth falls open when you feel yourself reach the peak of your climax again, quickly falling as you moan shamelessly loud. You’re seeing white behind your eyelids as you grip onto the pillow at your head, biting on your lip to quiet yourself. It’s no use given it’s one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. He continues to let your ride out your orgasm and it’s becoming too much. The over stimulation bringing on a familiar uncomfortable sensation as you tell him to quit. He obliges but is then lining himself up with your entrance again, entering in you flush all at once. 
This time, Jungkook’s pace is fast and rough as one of his hands grip where your hip meets your torso, the other around your neck as he fights to not kiss you. As much as he loves your lips, he loves the noises coming out of them and wants you to be as loud as you can be. 
“Jungkook I can’t,” everything is sensitive, a pleasurable pain pulsing through you as he slams against you relentlessly. 
“Yes you can baby, come on,” he’s whining too as this point, “Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he says it like a warning, but you want nothing more for him to do just that. 
“Yes, yes, yes,” whispered chants leave your lips, Jungkook’s own moans mixing with yours loudly before he releases the pressure off your neck, lips crashing down on your own. Someway, somehow, you come a third time as his pelvic bone grinds into you, a muffled scream into his mouth as you do so. 
This is what sends Jungkook over the edge, his hips slamming into yours harshly as he comes into the condom, a strangled groan emitting from the back of his throat. 
“Fffuck Y/N,” he stills inside of you, both of your hearts racing and sweaty in the sheets. He collapses on top of you, your arms wrapping around him protectively as he places intimate kisses along your collarbone and chest. 
Your whole body is aflame and as he looks up to you, his eyes full of stars. You brush his fringe from his face slowly as the two of you kiss gently in the haze of the morning. You’re sure that Jeon Jungkook is a disguised angel fallen from heaven. 
“Sit still,” Jungkook laughs as he looks up from his sketch book briefly, a lazy smile playing at his lips. 
You laugh while biting your lip, “I am still!” You fight back as you rest your head in your hand, looking right at him longingly. He sets down his pencil for a moment, inhaling a small amount from the joint you two were currently sharing. You hadn’t smoked in a long time, but when Jungkook offered after having sex, you couldn’t refuse. 
Both of you are a little high not just on the flower, but each other too. You don’t know what time it is or how long both of you have been laying around at his apartment since you’ve been awake. On his bed, he’s sitting criss-crossed apple sauce across from you as you lay on your side as his model. He begged to sketch you for nearly 20 minutes before you finally agreed. 
You take another hit from the joint, “How’s it going?” You muse and he smirks slightly, chewing on his thumb nail as he continues to draw. 
“Do you ever shut up?” He says and you flip him off deservedly so. 
It’s only another 10 minutes until Jungkook proclaims he’s finished—at least for now. He says he’d add more details later when his brain was a little more clear. Though when he hands the sketch pad over to you, your eyes widen. 
“Oh wow,” you marvel, “More details?” You ask in disbelief. Though the sketch was tad a messy, not perfect, it still looked exactly like you. Almost frighteningly so. You were wearing his shirt again, your hair fallen and messy after the sexcapades earlier. Even the details of your hands are immaculate despite how minuscule they are in the drawing. 
“You like it?” He asks, his eyes a little wide, tone seeking validation. You give him a hazy-eyed smile, giving him a nod of approval. 
“I’ll sketch you one day, to return the favor,” you say with a peaked brow as you hand him back the sketch book. 
“A favor eh?” He bite his lip ring, “I had to beg you for this.” 
“Exactly—I always repay for charity work,” you laugh when he rolls his eyes, moving over to your frame. 
He lays on his side mirroring you as he props his head up on one of his hands. He inhales the joint once more with his tattooed hand, offering it to you once more. You shake your head, already feeling a good enough high to enjoy yourself and not go into full panic mode. 
“You have so many tattoos,” you comment as your eyes trail from his hand, up his forearm into his elbow, bicep, and finally, the top of his shoulder. 
“Mhm,” he mumbles, clearing the ashtray from his bed, setting it on the floor for now.
“Which one was your first?” You ask him; your curiosity cute to him. 
“Hmm,” he thinks about it as he brings out his arm a little to look over each one, “I think this one,” he says, referencing to the Chinese characters on the back of his elbow, “Or maybe the ones on my hand, I don’t really remember,” he laughs, his memory falling short in this moment. 
“Do they all mean something to you?” 
He nods immediately, his eyes finding yours again. You ask him which one is his favorite. 
“Probably this one,” he points to the orange tiger lily on the inside of his forearm, “It’s one of the ones I drew myself.” It’s detailed immaculately, with words blended in behind it, “It’s my birth flower,” he explains. You think he told you once his birthday was in September. Him being a Virgo makes sense to you. 
“What does it say behind it?” You ask as your free hand grabs his arm to bring closer to your eyes so you can see the details better. 
“Please love me,” he answers after a moment of watching you slowly turn his arm to marvel at all the ink. His words make you freeze though, your heart strings tugging towards him. 
You smile at him shyly, “Is Jeon Jungkook a romantic?” 
He smiles back at you fondly, “Only when I want to be.” 
“Mhm, sure,” you mumble, your hand finding his. His is much larger than yours, covering yours protectively. 
“You don’t have any tattoos?” He asks. He’s just seen you naked but his attention was exactly looking at certain places on your skin for ink. 
You shake your head, “I’ve always been too scared,” you tell him honestly with a laugh. 
He laughs clearly amused, “It’s not as bad as you think it is.” 
You roll your eyes, “Says the person with an arm covered in them. I’d trust someone who has like one or two… they’re more likely to be truthful about the pain.” 
“Well if you ever want one, I’ll go with you just so I can say I told you so,” he suddenly moves closer to your frame. He throws an arm over your waist, pulling you to him. 
“Never gonna happen,” there’s a lame attempt to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. It doesn’t stay, still too short. 
“I like you in my clothes,” he comments, brushing his nose against yours. He slowly closes the gap between you two. His lips are still so soft and each time he kisses you—it feels like the first. 
“It’s comfy,” you say once you break away from him, your nails scratching the back of his head gently. He relishes in it like a puppy, a relax smiled on his face. 
“You look better out of them though,” is his next comment which garners a giggle deep within you. One thing leads to the next and you’re having sex again. This time you’re on top of him, on your tummy, legs over his shoulders—and he makes you come each and every time. You’ve had many blissful moments in your life, but this has to be up with one of your most. 
Reality hits you when Jungkook drops you off at home that evening. Whatever bliss you experienced this morning and afternoon, it all feels like a dream that didn’t happen. You make sure to feed Sushi his wet food as soon you get home, as well as clean his litter box for him. Your phone is what makes you the most anxious. You’ve got missed texts and calls from a few people. Taehyung obviously, Sana, Seokjin, and even your father. 
[Taehyung Yesterday 11:13 PM] Please let me know when you get home. I love you. 
[Taehyung 12:09 PM] Did you get home okay?
[Taehyung 7:21 AM] Y/N please call me, you’re worrying me. 
[Taehyung 10:32 AM] Please text me when you see this. I haven’t slept all night. I love you so much. 
4 Missed Calls
Your throat constricts, feeling guilty that you didn’t even have the minds to look at your phone after Jungkook picked you up. You feel sick to your stomach as you continue through your messages. 
[Sana 8:23 AM] hey is everything okay?? taehyung texted me this morning and asked if I’ve heard from you
[Sana 8:26 AM] did you two get into a fight? are you home?
[Sana 1:15 PM] hello… are you alive????????
6 Missed Calls
You opt to deal with the others later, giving Sana a call back immediately. Also, just unsure of how to deal with Taehyung right now. She answers on the first ring. 
“What the actual FUCK have you been up to?!” She’s screaming and you have to hold the phone away from you as she continues, “You have me worried fucking sick! Why haven’t you answered me or Taehyung! Are you out of your fucking mind!?”
“Sana please, I’m fine,” you say after she’s cooled off some, “I need you to come over as soon as you can.” 
She hesitates, “Is everything okay?” She sounds worried, all malice gone in her tone. 
“I don’t know,” you whisper over the phone. Now that you’re going to have to face whatever mess has been created, your heart thumps and your chest is tight. She agrees, dropping whatever she’s doing hanging up just as fast. 
You decide to text Taehyung, knowing you’ve worked him up sick. 
[You 4:23 PM] I’m fine. Slept a lot last night and today, ringer was off. 
[You 4:24 PM] love you too 
You add the second text without hesitation, despite a bubbling substance of guilt in your tummy. You know your relationship with Taehyung can’t continue. Whatever hurt he’s caused you and what you’ve done with Jungkook—it’s all down the drain. And it’s this reality that makes you break down, sliding to the floor in choked sobs. 
Sana finds you this way, nearly hyperventilating as she hurries over to you. 
“Y/N!” She exclaims, “Oh my god, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she kneels beside you, her arms throwing themselves around you tightly. You lean into her touch, trying to make sentences but nothing comes out. Just incoherent jumble as you choke out tear after tear. 
Sana is literally the best of friends you could ever ask for. As you lay curled up on your couch, she’s fixed you a cup of hot tea and a bowl of ramen for you two with the works—pork belly, an egg, and green onions. 
As she serves up your food, she’s got the most worried look on her face and you can’t blame her. You probably look horrifying—horrifying with an after sex glow. 
“Babe,” she says after you begin to eat your food, “What’s going on? You’re scaring the shit out of me.” 
You slurp a noodle, “Sana,” you groan, “I think I fucked up, but also Taehyung fucked up, fucked up, and I think we broke up but th—“
“Whoa whoa,” she stops you, “Broke up? W-what do you mean?” She’s utterly stunned as you relay this information. 
So it’s when you tell her. Tell her everything your life has succumbed to in the last month. From meeting Jungkook—no inspiration—Taehyung putting work before you—the date with Jungkook—the fucking sex dream—to the real reason Taehyung asked to move in with you—the kiss with Jungkook, feelings for him—Jungkook’s dad being Taehyung’s main boss—everything up until after the party. 
“How long has he known about the move?” Sana is angry as you tell her all this information. 
“I don’t know,” you shrug, “We kind of blew up at each other last night and then I just left…” 
“Shit,” she mutters, “Well that’s really fucking shitty of him to do that to you Y/N. You’ve been together too long for him not to give you a heads up about that.” 
You nod as you set down your bowl of food on the coffee table, “I know and like I said I think we broke up but I’m not exactly sure and now—“ you cut yourself off, your stomach churning at the thought. She looks at your curiously as if she knows what you’re about to say will make her disappointed in you. 
“What did you do?” She says slowly to brace herself. 
“I wasn’t answering my phone last night because I wasn’t here.” 
You can’t even look at her as you continue. 
“I was with Jungkook.” 
Sana doesn’t say anything as she lets your words process, all the puzzle pieces coming together in her head slowly but surely. She doesn’t look angry or confused, but her face is emotionless which is honestly scarier to you. 
“You had sex with him, didn’t you?” She already knows, but she wants to hear you confirm it yourself. You nod slowly, adding in not just once—but three separate times. She runs a hand over her temple, her brain clearly working overtime. 
There’s a heavy moment of silence that falls between the two of you. You don’t regret hooking up with Jungkook at all—if anything, him and his company has been the light of your life the past few weeks. You just can’t help but feel whatever grey area that Taehyung created, you separated it into black and white without him. Was that fair to him? 
“So you had sex with Jungkook, kind of broken up with Taehyung after a fight, but not for sure… and you haven’t talked to Taehyung since last night?” 
“Yeah…” you sigh heavily, putting your head in your hands. 
“God Y/N,” she mumbles, her hand running up and down your back, “Well you for sure have to talk to Taehyung sooner than later… you have to tell him—“
“Sana—“
“Y/N you’ve dated and loved this man for five years—he deserves to know, even if you two truly were broken up,” she’s harsh with her words, but you know she’s right. “So what do you truly feel for Jungkook?”
“What do you mean?” You ask. Truthfully, you hadn’t put any thought into it since you’ve been home. 
“You clearly have developed feelings for him over the last few weeks, faster than even Taehyung,” she pauses, “Do you want something out of him? Or do you think he was just there to comfort you when you needed it?” 
You look up from your hands, looking at her in your peripheral, “Fuck Sana, I don’t know,” you feel tears threatening to spill over again, “I think being with Taehyung for so long, I never thought there would be another person I could actually develop feelings for, but he’s kind and gentle, he listens to me, makes me feel heard, and he’s so much like me but that also fucking terrifies me.”
“Why is that scary?” 
You lean back into your couch, meeting her gaze, “I always thought I wanted someone so different from me, different than my parents relationship—and I found that and I love him so much,” your voice is strained, “But I’m not sure if different is what I actually needed.” 
She puts a hand on your knee for comfort, “Can I be as honest as I can with you?” She’s a little unsure of your reaction, but as soon as you nod she gives you a reassuring squeeze, “I know that you love Taehyung and I know that it’s been hard with his job… I don’t think you should have slept with Jungkook so soon but…” she pauses, “I’m not going to try to make excuses for you but, I get it,” her words aren’t expected and your shoulders relax.
“I think someone like Jungkook was going to come into your life eventually, it just happened to be when you were with someone else… I think you’ve always been scared to be like your parents, but you’re not trapped in a box, you have free will and you’re allowed to do as you please. I don’t think you needed different either, I think you’ve always just wanted someone to give you the same amount of love you give them,” her words are so true that you feel your chest constricting again.
“I’m not going to sit here and say you crossed a boundary because I don’t know if you did, only you know that yourself… but Taehyung deserves the respect from you to let him know and you deserve someone who works in the relationship equally. I feel like this may have been unfair to Taehyung but he's also been unfair to you, for a long time now,” she adds in a breath, “I don’t think you and Taehyung can be together anymore, but I also don’t know if you should be with Jungkook right now either.” 
Sana’s words cut through you like a freshly sharpened knife. She’s your best friend for a reason. She’s supposed to support and love you, but she’s also supposed to hold you accountable. You don’t even say anything else as you crawl over to her, both of you embracing in a tight hug. 
“I love you,” you mumble to her, honestly coating every word. 
“I love you more,” she responds. And you know she does. 
It’s been almost two weeks since your shitshow of last weekend. You’ve barely interacted with anyone aside from Sana and an occasional text from your parents, asking about your final exhibition dates. You told Seokjin that you needed to work from home this week, citing a change in scenery would be stimulating. Obviously, he didn’t know it really was a ploy to keep you away from Jungkook. 
You hadn’t spoken to him since sleeping with him. He reached out to you once over text, though you ignored it, needing your head clear of your demons before you faced him. As time has passed, you still don’t regret hooking up with him. The only thing you feel is shame; afraid that your advances came off in bad taste, only using him as a distraction. Luckily as you’ve come to learn, Jungkook is extremely good at reading people and when you didn’t respond to him—he never texted again. You obviously wanted space and he was going to respect that. 
What you couldn’t keep running away from was Taehyung. It’s why you’re meeting him now at a park that’s not too far from your apartment. It’s middle of the day on a Thursday, which is surprising that Taehyung agreed to meet now when you reached out. You assumed that he would have been at work but it's when he shows up in casual jeans and a t-shirt, that he must not be. 
You’re sitting on a park bench, dressed casually in a sweatshirt and sweat-shorts anxiously waiting for him to show face. When he comes around to sit down, he startles you slightly, but his presence brings a comfortable warmth. 
“H-hi,” you say nervously, turning your frame to him. He didn’t look good—his eyes baggy and dry, lips a little chapped, and his hair a little messy. 
“Hey,” is what he chooses, his own tone sounded a little off. There’s an awkward space between you two on the bench. 
“How have you been?” You ask, your eyes kind of darting any and everywhere, unable to hold his gaze for too long. 
His lip trembles as he sighs heavily, “Not the best,” he says honestly. You nod slowly, agreeing with him. 
Somedays you’re fine. You go through your day and normal routine of spin classes and painting, cuddling Sushi, and going to bed early. Other days have been horrible—up late unable to sleep due to stress and crying, no productivity in sight. While you and Taehyung have texted over these last couple weeks checking in on each other, being in front of him right now feels like there’s a spotlight on you and you’re scared to fuck up. You haven’t been ready to talk until now, but now you’re here and going mute. 
“Listen Y/N—“
“Tae—“
You speak at the same time to which you both smile at each other. 
“You go first,” you offer, still feeling like you may chicken out of what you actually need to say to him. 
He nods once, biting on his lip nervously, “Y/N I’ve been thinking the last couple weeks and um,” he pauses taking in a deep breath, “I realize I fucked up so bad. I thought about what you said and you’re right, I should have never assumed that you would have been okay with moving and never talking about it with you first…” 
As his voice slightly weakens as he continues to talk, it only breaks your heart even more. You have to tell yourself not to cry. 
“I’ve been pretty shitty to you at times and I always thought if I could give you nice things, take you out to nice dinners.. that it would somehow make up for the time we’ve lost over the years, but now I see that’s not what you needed at all.” 
You now have tears streaming down your cheeks—god, if only he recognized this sooner, maybe this wouldn’t have fallen apart the way it did. 
“I just love you so much and I get it if you don’t want to be with me anymore,” you watch a tear fall from his cheek, “But I just want you to know that I never intended on hiding anything from you and I’m sorry that I did. It was never my intention to hurt you and put you in a hard position, I just—fuck,” he stops, tugging on the roots of his hair. “I’m fucking sorry for everything Y/N, I just can’t move on and make this move if you hate me for the rest of your life.” 
Your face falls and you chest feels like it’s cracked open. You quickly close the space between you two, placing a hand gently on his face so he would look you in the eyes. 
“Taehyung I could never, ever hate you,” you tell him truthfully, “I have loved you for so long and I don’t think I’ll stop anytime soon…” 
He nods in your hands, relishing in your gently grip. He doesn’t say anything else, so you take it as your time. 
“I did and still do feel hurt about you keeping this from me,” you pause, dropping your hands, “I know that this had to have been a hard decision but the fact you left me out of it isn’t okay and I’m glad you recognize that… and you’re right, I never cared about the jewelry and the dinners and the flowers and wine, all I ever wanted was just you and me, against the world,” he chokes out a deep sob at your words, breaking your heart all over again. 
“I just, I truly can’t leave behind what I’ve worked for and the goals I want to accomplish here,” you shake your head, “It’s just not fair to me, but that doesn’t mean I will ever hate you or stop loving you.” 
He nods slowly as he takes in all of your information, his breath shakes as he breathes out. 
“Taehyung,” you brace yourself, “There’s something else I need to tell you.” 
He looks at you with a panicked expression as he mutters a hm? 
“I lied to you too about something,” your cadence is slow as you look down, picking at a loose piece of skin on your thumb, “I didn’t go home when I left your place after our fight.”
His eyebrows deeply furrow and you can see his brain working in overtime. Taehyung’s a smart man and it doesn’t take him long to piece together what you’re saying. 
“You went to his place, didn’t you? Jungkook? Seokjin’s student?” His jaw slightly clenches as he says it. You nod to confirm, feeling uncomfortable with how he's framed his words. “Jesus fucking Christ Y/N,” he suddenly stands up from the bench, another stressed pull of his hair, “We get into one fight and you run off to fuck someone who is basically your student?” 
“What?” You fight back, “No—no,” you rush out, though your heart sinks given you’re lying at this very second while trying to tell the truth. “Taehyung no, he’s just a friend I swear.” 
He turns back to you, eyes narrowing at you, “Can you look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened with your fucking friend then? Is that why you lied to his father about knowing who he was?” 
You stare at him with your lips slightly parted, your heart thumping deep within your chest, “We kissed,” you whisper, wincing at your words internally.
“Is that it?” He asks with a tone that’s a mix of anger and desperation. 
There’s a lump in your throat and you realize that you truly are a coward and can’t tell him with words, so you do what a coward would do and shake your head. An entire new wave of shame enters your body now that you’re sat in front of Taehyung. His face falls, the line officially crossed. There’s no going back in this relationship. His jaw is unsteady as he fights whatever emotions are brewing inside him. 
“I need to go,” he says looking around the empty park. He loves you, he really does—but right now he can’t look at you. Your fight may have unofficially ended things between you two, but the fact you ran to Jungkook for comfort is what breaks his heart. What did Jungkook have, that Taehyung didn’t?
“Taehyung,” you stand up trying to stop him from walking away, “Please can we—“
“No Y/N,” he says, springing away from your grip that you had on his shirt, “We can’t.” 
It’s the last thing he says as he walks away. It’s feels almost a little too poetic. Not only is he leaving this city, but he’s leaving you here in it. Alone and heartbroken. Almost like how it was going to end up the entire time. 
It’s another week until you make it back into the studio in person. You’ve camped away in your apartment with Sushi for long enough—Sana, Seokjin, and others worried about you and your absence. You’ve had a lot of time to reflect as you been alone. You’ve been able to gather your thoughts and understand your rights versus wrongs. 
You haven’t seen or spoken to Taehyung since the other week ago in the park. You’ve attempted to call him a couple times to see if any peace can be amended, but to no avail. It’s been a weird transition for you—going from having everything in your life in order to everything blowing up in front of you so fast. Of course you’re sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and more. Your emotions were all over the place the last couple weeks. You had yet to feel closure with Taehyung which was killing you on the inside. You just hoped that he would eventually come around before he moved. You had no idea when he was leaving—but you needed to see him one last time before he goes. 
You’ve also been reflecting on the common denominator of the blow up of your life in the last two months. Jeon Jungkook. 
Jungkook came into your life full speed unafraid to crash into the brick wall in front of him. You know that you let your feelings for him get out of control but you also knew that wasn’t exactly something you could control. Consistently, he was just always there when you seemingly needed company. He says the right things, understands you, hears and listens to you. You’ve never had a connection with someone like that so quickly. However, he’s disappeared from your life almost as fast as he came in it. He checked in on your one more time after the first time, only this time you ended up responding, telling him that you were okay and just working from home. You weren’t fine, but the latter was true. 
Which is why you’re shocked when you come in on Tuesday morning to find him sitting on the floor outside your studio. You look around and listen in carefully—Seokjin isn’t even here yet and you came in early on purpose. It’s been your routine to avoid people—mainly Jungkook himself. You come in around 7 AM and leave by 3 PM, sneaking out before anyone would notice you were here. 
“J-Jungkook?” You ask, unable to believe that he’s here at this time. 
He looks up from his phone looking a little startled. He stands quickly, brushing his hands off on his sweatpants. 
“What are you doing here so early?” You ask, keeping a distance between you two. You feel a little insecure in your paint-stained denim shorts and white t-shirt that you actually slept in last night. 
He opens his mouth quickly, “I just,” he pauses closing his eyes for a moment, “I just wanted to see to you. I missed you," he admits a little shyly.
Your hands go clammy, heart quickening, but you’re nodding, silently agreeing with him. He steps aside to let you unlock your studio space, the sun already bright shining in. He follows in behind you, closing the door for privacy. You set down your bag on the small couch, watching him intently as he looks around. If there’s been one positive about your absence, it’s been how much work you’ve got done. 
You’ve finished approximately seven paintings in three weeks, an eight almost finished, which means you’ll finish just in time for the final exhibition next weekend. As much as you love apprenticeship life, you were more than ready for something new. 
“What do you think?” You approach Jungkook from behind as he stares at the finished paintings along the wall you’ve been hanging up to dry completely. 
“They’re exquisite,” he says with his mouth slightly agape, “A little sad,” he adds.
He’s staring at Drowning for the Sake of Drowning and Forward—a black and white charcoal piece of a female figure, hunched over with her face away, clearly distressed about something. You named in Forward in hopes that you can soon move past the stage of hiding and crying away alone. You don’t even realize Jungkook’s looking at you as you stare at the piece a little too long. 
“I’ve been worried about you.” 
You look at him when he breaks the silence, his eyes indeed looking confused, anxious, a little sad. 
“I know,” you say weakly. He turns around to face you, opening his mouth to speak but you cut him off in a rush—“I’m so sorry Jungkook.” 
He looks taken aback, his brows furrowing in confusion, “F-for what?” 
You’re confused as to why he’s confused, “I..” You pause licking your lips since they’re dry from you picking at them nervously, “For one I’m sorry for not being responsive. I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess. I came to you when I needed comfort but I feel like it came across that I was taking advantage of you in those moments—I don’t want you think that I was just trying to sleep with to make me feel better—“
“Is that what you think?” He cuts you off, stepping towards you. 
You don’t move, your feet frozen in place, “Well.. yeah?” You pause, “I don’t know I just didn’t know how to talk to you after what happened and with Taehyung I just—“
“Hey, hey,” he steps forward again, his hands grabbing the side of your face. God, his presence and touch were so comforting, “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” his voice is low and steady, “I’ve been so worried that something happened to you and I wanted to help but I knew that you wanted space. And for fucksakes, don’t ever say sorry for something like that Y/N,” he breathes out heavily and you almost feel tears spring in the corner of your eyes. You grab onto his wrists to steady yourself. 
“Jungkook I just feel like my whole life has been a shitshow the past couple months and I don’t know how to fix it,” your voice falls off, unsteady and unconfident. 
He shakes his head slightly, “Y/N you don’t have to ‘fix’ anything,” he says, “Life isn’t linear, we all have shitty times and we all have good times,” he pauses, “What’s important is how you deal with those things… shutting yourself off isn’t a way to deal with it,” his words almost have a humorous tone and you can’t help but chuckle to yourself. He looks at you confused again before asking what?
“You just always know what to say. It's annoying.” 
He laughs to himself, his hands moving away from your face to pull you into a hug. You return it happily, forgetting how nice his body feels against yours. 
“Thank you,” you mumble to him. 
“Anything for you, Y/N.” 
Your heels clank against the hardwood, feeling like it sounds similar to bricks being thrown into a dumpster as you feel extra sensitive to noises today. You’ve just entered the art exhibition that resides in a large gallery building downtown closer to the city. All the art has been transported over the last few days from all different departments. From Seokjin’s, to Park Kihyun’s, sculptors to oil-based paintings, to everything in between. 
You had yet to find where they displayed your artwork, going through the gallery slowly by yourself taking in everyone’s work one at a time. Again, your steps are heavy, anxiety rushing through your veins. This was always one of the worst parts of being an artists—displaying your pieces for everyone to critique and pick apart. Unlike the student’s art that was being displayed, you weren’t getting a grade but you still felt tremendous pressure for people to like your work. Art was all about getting people to like what you put out, which was much easier said than done. 
You run into your usual lunch crew; Lisa, Jisoo, and Yugyeom—sans Jungkook. You wondered where he was. 
“Y/N,” Lisa gives you a quick hug, “When did you get here?” 
“Like, ten minutes ago,” you tell her. 
“Have you seen your pieces?” She says quickly, almost too quickly. 
“No, why?” You respond in panic, “Did something happen to them?” 
Jisoo then laughs, “Nothing happened… they’re amazing. There was some man who was asking around for you, seemed to be important.” 
Your shoulders relax at the word of nothing bad happening to your pieces, but more anxiety creeping into your skin about the latter information. You let them know you’ll go check everything out soon, still wishing to look around before you found your own. You had looked at them enough the last few weeks—you needed a change of scenery. 
You walk into a smaller room where a particular name catches your eye. Jungkook’s artwork is in display with Yugyeom's. You wonder if they asked for that on purpose, a smile growing on your face as you stare at his work. 
Jungkook’s art works similar to yours—clean lines, realistic, the only difference is he utilizes a lot more color than you ever would. It matches him well though—he’s vibrant and commands attention in any room he walks into. One piece in particular catches your eye—Grapejuice Blues. 
It’s white sheets—similar to the ones on his bed—and a large, dark rouge staining them as a wine glass lays in the background. It’s almost painfully simple but it could easily be mistaken for a photograph. The familiar stir in your tummy occurs and you have to fight a smile. 
When you leave the alcove where Jungkook’s works reside, you decide to make it your mission to find your work. It doesn’t take you much longer, though you stop dead in your tracks when you do. Is this who Jisoo was talking about? 
You’d recognize his frame and head of hair through a crowd of hundreds. But there isn’t a crowd of hundreds and it’s definitely him—his tailored pants and dress shirt gives it away. He’s also holding what looks like a bundle of flowers. Your heart swells as you approach him. 
“Taehyung?” You ask. He turns around immediately, his warm eyes meeting yours, “What are you doing here?” 
He smiles slightly, looking down awkwardly at the flowers in his arms. He hands them over to you, “It’s been in my Google calendar for months, I didn’t want to miss it.” 
You heart thumps, but you’re a little confused, “Aren’t you mad at me?” 
He laughs, pulling you into a hug. You gladly return it, not caring if the flowers between you are squished a little. 
“Thank you for coming,” you tell him genuinely. It feels good to see him. 
“Of course,” his voice is deep as you pull away from him, “I was hoping I could run into you so I could give you this,” out of his pant pocket, he pulls out a folded up piece of paper. Your brows furrow as he holds it out for you to grab. 
“What’s this?” You ask him, taking it hesitantly. You start to unfold it before he stops you. 
“Don’t read it here—that’s my only request,” he laughs, his boxy smile peaking through a little bit. “Listen I have to run into the office this evening so I gotta go, but I’m glad I could see your work. It’s beautiful.” 
“Wait Taehyung,” you speak quickly, “I’m confused—when are you moving? We should talk…” 
He gives you a straight smile and you can tell he’s holding himself together for public. You are too. 
“Everything’s in there. We can talk soon,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss your cheek delicately, “I’ll love you forever.” 
He gets lost in the crowd as he walks away from you and whatever type of note he’s written you feels a thousand pounds in your hand. Your feet are about to pick you up to leave, giving it feels like you're heart was a glass castle and it was completely shattered. You suddenly felt all too claustrophobic surrounded by the art and people. 
You turn on your heel but this time you nearly run smack dab into someone. It’s a man who is dressed nicely but also has a touch of that specific art touch to him. 
“Are you Miss Y/N?” He says as you take a step back from him. You’re staring up at this random man, unable to find your voice. 
“Uh,” you pause, “Y-yeah, w-who are you?” Your throat is dry. You need to get out of here. 
“I’m Min Yoongi,” he speaks confidently, “I’m an art curator at a contemporary gallery in Gangnam, I was hoping to get your information to set up an interview. I was recommended to take a look at your work, but obviously I needed to see before I jumped to any type of deal. But I think your pieces are superb and I think I have some clients who would be interested in your work.” 
Your eyes widen, your breath taken away from you. And there it is again—life not being fucking linear. Two seconds again you felt on the verge of a panic attack, paper heavy in your hand and now you’ve forgotten about any of that as you speak to this Min Yoongi. 
Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook was observing the interaction from a distance, out of sight from either one of you. You look angelic in the white dress on your frame; it’s short, fitted in all the right places with an off the shoulder bodice. While Jungkook necessarily didn’t fit into the mold of his family, he was lucky to be apart of the Jeon family name. His father had connections everywhere. Jungkook wanted to help you as much as he could since he knew that if any apprentice here deserved an art career, it was you. 
Jungkook is currently staring at the final piece you had finished last week, a small smile growing on his face as he takes it in. It’s an odd, more abstract piece from you. The use of color was what really struck Jungkook as different for you. It’s a human heart shaped out of orange tiger lilies. Given his dress shirt was rolled up on his forearms, he looks down at his own tiger lily tattoo and he swears his heart leaps from his chest. He couldn’t put a label on what the relationship with you was, but he knew that you were special to him. 
When he glances back to where you stood with Min Yoongi, you’re gone. His eyebrows furrow, taking once last glance at your pieces before his feet carry him to find you. 
You’ve found solace outside, the warm air comforting on your exposed arms and legs. The flowers he gave you are beside you on the ledge you jumped up on to sit. Your hands shake as you read through Taehyung’s letter; fighting tears, smiling, and laughing through it all. 
It takes Jungkook about 10 minutes to find you and when he does, he can tell you’re upset. He hesitates going up to you, but you look like you needed a hug. You don’t even notice Jungkook approach you as you’re sat with your head in your hands, the letter read and laying on the other side of you. You’re not crying—thank god—but you’re feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions running through your veins right now. 
You're excited about the prospect of working for a gallery, wondering who exactly recommended Min Yoongi to come to the exhibit and look at your pieces. You're sad at the fact yours and Taehyung's relationship has come to its finality. It's weird having such contrasting emotions going through you, each one fighting for your attention.
When you see a pair of black dress shoes appear in your vision, you slowly look up to find Jungkook looking at you longingly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. He takes your breath away in his black dress shirt and checkered cigarette pants. 
“Hey,” he says simply. You don’t even think as you pull him by his arm into a bear hug as he settles between your legs. He laughs as you do so, hugging you back tightly, resting his head on your exposed shoulder, “You okay?” 
You shake your head, “Yes,” you say but then, “No—yes, I don’t know,” you groan into him, inhaling his scent. Your hands meet behind him around his waist as you squeeze him tightly. 
Taehyung’s not mad at you. 
Taehyung loves you. And he always will. 
He says he hasn’t reached a place of full forgiveness yet. 
But he knows that you have a right to be mad at him. 
He’s moving at the end of summer. 
He wants you to reach out with anything you need. 
He acknowledges that you two have grown into differences over the last five years. 
But he will always love you and he’s grateful for you. 
You know you’ll always love him too. 
You pull away from Jungkook slightly, thankful for his presence right now. He’s the best drug you've ever tried—warm and comforting—addicting and easy to get lost into. 
“Your work is beautiful Jungkook,” you tell him honestly, trying to get your mind off of the things bothering you. Today was a happy day. 
“Not as beautiful as you,” he responds slyly with a nose scrunch and you pinch his butt, “Quit it,” he laughs, pulling you off the ledge you’re sat on. 
“What are you doing?” You whine as he pulls you to him, his hands resting on your waist. 
“We're gonna dance,” he says simply as he pulls you flush against him. 
“Why?” You laugh as he begins to sway, your hands finding their way around his neck. 
“To make you feel better.”
“How do you know I don’t feel good?” You fight back. 
“Because I know you,” he pauses, “And I know what you look like when you’re happy and when you’re sad.” 
You feel your face get hot, a small smile growing on your face, “Well then what else do you know about me?” 
“Hmm,” he muses, “I know what you sound like when you like something,” he raises an eyebrow at you as you two continue to sway with no music or anything. You roll your eyes, a laugh emitting from you. “There it is,” he pinches your side as you swat away his hand with another laugh. He loves your laugh. 
“Stop it,” you tell him, stepping away from him some, your hands interlaced with his in between your bodies. 
“Feel better?” 
You shrug, “A little,” you say, studying his face. His expression doesn’t seem satisfied so you say as he scrunches his nose, “Yes, I do. God you’re so impossible.” 
He chuckles back at you, kissing your knuckles sweetly, “What are friends for?” 
“You’re really running this ‘friend’ thing into the ground aren’t you?” 
He freezes for a moment, chewing on his lip ring, “Only until you’re ready.” 
You mirror him as he readjusts your hands in his, “Ready for what?” 
He studies your face intently, a small smile growing across his features, "You know."
You think you know exactly what he means. You tell him you do and he smiles in content, placing a kiss on your forehead through his smile. If there's one thing you're for sure about, it's that Jeon Jungkook is indeed, very special to you too. 
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takaholic · 1 year
Note
okay but what does Mitsuya do when he catches a glimpse of your undies? >.>
what were you doing when he saw them?
Oh dear 🤭 I'm just gonna write a little fic as my answer because I was debating doing it anyways
f!reader, mitsuya desperately trying not to be a pervert and failing spectacularly, part of my photographer!reader au that's just blatant self-insert, cameos, clumsy reader, (1.4k wc)
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"Bad time?"
Mitsuya walks into your studio and finds you on top of a stepladder examining a good-sized hole in the wall with a drill in hand. You turn around, several screws held between your lips that you spit out into your palm when you see him.
"Not at all. Perfect timing actually. Can you spot me and make sure I don't fall?"
"What happened?" He asks as he sets down his bag and walks over to where you're set up.
"I lost my balance moving one of my lights and ended up poking a hole in the wall."
"That looks like more than a poke," he says as he eyes the damage.
"I admit, I made it worse when I first tried to fix it. I swear I know what I'm doing now," you tell him sheepishly. "Can you hand me that plank by your foot?"
"Do you need me to help?" He offers and hands you the requested piece of wood.
"No, no! I can't have you doing that; you're my client. Just hold me steady while I drill this in and then I'll grab your prints," you tell him through muffled speech with the screws back in your mouth.
He refrains from insisting on doing it for you. He can't complain about the task you've given him, reaching up to grab you by the waist and doing his best not to think too hard about how it feels to have you in his hands. However, as soon as you lift your arms to hold the board in place behind the drywall and drill it in place, the bottom of your shirt rises above the waist of your pants, exposing a strip of skin as well as something else.
Mitsuya is not a pervert, but his keen eyes catch just the smallest sliver of black lace peeking out. Hardly anything scandalous, but it suddenly feels like he's swallowed a whole bowl of Smiley's specialty ramen. His throat goes dry and taut, unable to look away until you dust off your hands and evaluate your handiwork.
"Cool, that step's done. Thanks for not letting me fall," you say and descend the stepladder.
"Right. No problem," he tries to reply as normally as possible while clearing his throat and hoping that his face isn't as red as it feels.
Thankfully, you don't seem to notice as you scurry off to the giant cabinet of drawers where you keep your photos and dig out a big manilla envelope.
"These are yours," you say and hand it to him.
"Thanks. If you need some help with the wall, you know my studio isn't too far from here," he tells you sincerely (and not for any other indecent reasons).
"You don't trust me," you say while narrowing your eyes, but paired with a smile that says you're just teasing him. "Fine, if you're so worried, just picture me laying here in a pool of my own blood all alone if you think of me today."
He looks off to the side and tries not to laugh.
"Whatever makes you happy."
On that note, he leaves, though he does turn his head and wave to you on his way out. As soon as he rounds the corner, he holds the back of his hand to his mouth, making a pointless effort to hold back the ridiculous smile that threatens to take over.
Mitsuya's self-assigned task for the day is to come up with some new sketches. It's usually one of his favorite parts of the design process, but right now, he's finding it hard to focus.
Picture you dead or injured, you had told him. As wretched of a thing it is, he wishes he could conjure the image to replace what's currently going through his mind. However, all he can think about is that seemingly trivial and innocuous glimpse of black lace from the back of your pants. What he would see if your pants had slipped down a little further. What delusional scenario would have to happen for him to see the whole thing...
Snap!
Not only does the lead of his pencil break against the sketchbook page, but the entire wooden length of it splinters in half as well.
He grunts and tosses it in the trash with all the others.
"Have you seen the pres– I mean boss around? I need to get these measurements approved."
It's been ten years since they graduated school, but Yasuda still finds it hard to refer to Mitsuya as anything but the sewing club's president. Hell, she even constantly forgets that she's no longer Yasuda and is now lawfully Hayashi.
"I think I saw him go to the storage room."
She thanks her coworker and heads down the hall in search of the designer with a clipboard tucked against her side. When she gets to the door, she notices in the space between it and the floor that the lights are off. Still, she tentatively opens it and calls out.
"Boss?"
The light leaks in from the hallway and she instantly freezes in terror when she catches sight of a hunched-over human form inside. The door swings wider, allowing her to see more of the person inside. Her heart goes still when she recognizes Mitsuya's clothes from earlier, though it doesn't ease her mind when she sees that he's got his face buried in the stacks of fabric rolls, arms dangling limply.
Then, she hears a muffled voice.
"Just give me a minute."
Yasuda doesn't say a word and just slowly shuts the door.
Yikes. He must be in a really bad mood.
After his head-clearing meditative experience with his head buried in meters upon meters of fabrics, Mitsuya sits at his desk with new determination to get these sketches done.
He's doing great so far, already got a figure drawn out on the page. Now just to put his ideas onto it. He glances around his eclectically decorated office for inspiration, namely the board of collaged images of everything that catches his interest and inspires him. However, his eyes land on the manila envelope of photos from the last collection he had you shoot.
Shit.
That's all it takes for him to think of you again and that damn lacey strip of fabric. He does everything in his power to keep from wondering what style of underwear they are, what the rest of the lace pattern is, how much coverage, if you're wearing a matching bra....
"Are you thinking of doing a lingerie line?"
Mitsuya jerks his back straight and realizes he's been drawing a full-on boudoir set on the sketch page. The poor new hire, a large burly man with long brown hair, jumps in alarm at the sudden movement.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to peek," the man says with hands pressed together, endearingly meek for someone of such size with a scary face.
"No worries. I was just working out some...ideas. Is there something you need?" The designer asks and flips the page of the sketchpad.
"There's a girl here to see you."
Mitsuya looks at the time and figures it's either of his sisters dropping by to check on him — a much-welcome distraction.
"Just send her back here. It's fine."
He swivels back and forth in his chair as he waits, pushing on his feet to lean back and look at the ceiling. He tries not to dwell on the deeper reasons why he's so helplessly diverted by something so small when he's seen plenty more scandalous and racy things in his professional and personal life. It shouldn't be any kind of ordeal, and yet–
The door to his office opens and he nearly tips backward when he sees that it is very much not one of his sisters.
"Hey," you say with a smile that's a little more shy than usual.
"Oh, hey," he replies, trying not to sound dumbstruck. Fortunately for his sanity, you have a jacket tied around your waist that will prevent any slippage of your pants
"Did you end up needing help repairing the wall?" He asks.
You shift on your feet and close the door behind you.
"Well, actually," you trail off and untie the arms of the jacket.
You spin around and the poor guy's head completely short circuits.
"I sat down on something sharp and ended up ripping a hole in my pants. Can you fix it?" You plead innocently and tug at the long tear, giving him quite the view through the gap of your panties hugging your ass cheek.
You're going to be the death of him.
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jccatstudios · 6 days
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do you draw these by hand? If not, what patform do you use? If you do, with what utensils :0?? asking for me. I wanna know
It’s a blend of both! Most of everything in black (save for a few edits here and there) is traditional. I draw on 11”x17” Strathmore smooth Bristol board. Here are my main tools.
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Sketches are done with a .5 mechanical pencil with H lead. Characters outlines are drawn with the G-pen. Backgrounds are drawn with Copic multiliners and the Hunt 102. Dark shiny stuff is rendered with a Kuretake brush pen. Black shapes are filled in with brushes and Pentel pigment pens. Corrections and white effects are done with Copic opaque white ink (I have two bottles, a different consistency in each for different purposes). I use the Kuretake black ink 60 for nib and brush work.
After all the line art is done, I scan in my pages and the rest is done digitally. The gray tones were made from an ink wash I did. It’s just darkened and lightened to suit the value of whatever it fills. The speech bubbles and lettering are digital too. I do this all in Clip Studio Paint Pro. I use a Wacom Intuos Pro M.
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honeybeezgobzzzzz · 9 months
Text
𓅨 Shifting Wings: Chapter Ten
Shifting Wings: Before the Raven Matthew, there was Jessamy, and Jessamy came with a little sister by the name of Adrienne. Dream adores his two little Ravens, but after over a hundred years of imprisonment and the death of Jessamy, Dream will find that he has not just lost his companion, but his beloved little Raven Adrienne no longer brightens the halls of his Palace. None of his staff wish to speak of where the Raven has gone, but the silent new resident of the palace is cause for question. After all, she was the one who aided in his release. If none of his subjects would help him find Adrienne, perhaps she could lead him to the whereabouts of the missing Raven. If only the woman wasn’t so flighty and hard to track down.
Warnings: Angst, Language.
To Note: Morpheus/Dream x FemaleRaven!Reader, NAMED Reader (I like the name).
Word Count: ~2.3k
Previous | Masterlist | Next
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She has not shown herself to you, because she does not wish to.
Lucienne’s words haunted Morpheus in an Endless pain he felt within his being. He had expected you to seek him out the moment he returned as you had always been faithfully by his side. Not to mention he had made a promise to you that he was not able to keep. Surely you were upset by that. No, he had expected everything to be as it was when he had left. He’d been wrong. Lucienne changed. Cain and Abel changed. Fiddler’s Green changed. It was a naive notion to think that you wouldn’t change. Stewing in his morose thoughts, Morpheus decided he had brooded long enough. It was time he tracked you down, for Morpheus needed your comforting presence, even if you held nothing but animosity towards him. Even if all you’d allow was for the Endless to merely gaze upon you, that would be enough.
Rising from his throne, Morpheus stepped down the stairs and strode for the one place that would have the most clues regarding your whereabouts. Your studio. Striding through the palace, Morpheus pondered your absence some more, disturbed by your lack of appearance. Did you not love him as he thought you did? Had he not made his affections clear to you? Jessamy had certainly threatened him plenty over his intentions towards you. 106 years. How much could a person change in that time? Had your love dissipated and resentment taken shelter? Were you angry? Were you unconsolable? Did you want nothing to do with him and the palace after Jessamy’s death? Did you hate him? Perhaps you did if you refused his company.
He reached the door to your studio and paused. He couldn’t feel your presence within, but several light orbs were softly illuminated indicating that you had been within your studio recently. Opening the door, Morpheus stepped into your art studio and ventured forwards. There were paintings and sketches scattered throughout the studio, you were clearly still painting and drawing… but all of your works now held a darker tone. Your artwork reflected a darkened mind crippled by pain, agony.
Walking around your work bench, Morpheus eyed the luxurious bed, expecting to see your nest of pillows, feathers, and down. But all he saw was a neatly made bed, devoid of indication that anyone used it. The studio was used, yes, but clearly you did not use it as you once had. He looked closer at your sketches, many of which were sketches of Jessamy, beautifully sketched and detailed. Your skill had only increased. It only felt like a night ago in which you were just starting to learn how to draw in your new body.
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“You look quite concentrated, little one,” Morpheus observed as he sat for you while you struggled to hold a pencil with your foot and draw his likeness. You growled under your breath and spit out a few curses which made Morpheus’s lips twitch. He doubted you noticed, but you truly came alive when you were focused on your art. The melancholy on your face faded and a spark of determination sparkled within the depths of your black eyes.
“That’s because I still sometimes have a hard time grasping this stupid pencil,” You huffed back, gripping  the small instrument in your tiny foot. You hopped several places and flapped your wings. “I can control it pretty well at times but then it get’s away from me and everything starts going awry!”
You let out a caw of frustration and threw the misbehaving pencil across the room. It was much easier to paint, in your opinion, than to draw. You’d taken to the brush much quicker than the pencil, and your frustrations were starting to get the better of you. Morpheus rose from his seat and walked over to where you were standing, trying not to let your frustrations get the better of you.
“Why am I even doing this?” You asked with an exaggerated sigh. Morpheus lifted a finger to your beak and tilted your head up.
“Because you are determined, Adrienne,” He reminded you with a small smile. “And you are not one to give up so easily, your perseverance has brought you this far, has it not?”
You eyed your lord, seeing his provocative eyebrow raise. It ruffled your feathers and you huffed.
“I never said I was gonna give up, I just—I feel like I am not making any progress and it’s been decades.”
“And you have eons more to hone your skill, for I shall always look forward to your creations.” You eyed him carefully. Sometimes you really wished that you had your human body rather than a birds.
Don’t be envious. Don’t be envious. It wasn’t like the dreams and nightmares throughout the realm had the pleasure of painting Morpheus’s portrait with the Endless sitting right in front of them. It wasn’t like the Endless actively sought out their company.
“Fine, fine, sit back down I’m almost done with your general profile.” You ordered, having no issue ordering the Endless around. Morpheus, pleased that you had finally perked up, returned to his seat and watched as you fluttered to where your thrown pencil had ended up. Grasping it in your foot once more, you swooped back up to the easel and focused back on your sketch.
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You were not a conventional lover, certainly if your relationship with him had grown more intimate. But at the time your company had been more than enough for him. Now all Morpheus wanted was to hear your comforting voice and see the familiar splash of midnight and pearl. Even if it was only to hear your thoughts of envy and yearning for what you had once had. He also owed you an apology. Not just for the fact that he had broken his promise to return with an hour, but your sister had been killed while in his service. It had been voluntary, but you would still feel betrayed.
Morpheus was about to leave the studio, not having garnered any new information from inspecting your studio, but then caught sight of a brighter light peeking out the trim of the small closet. Curiosity peaked, for why would you have the closet light so bright compared to the rest of your studio? Morpheus drew the slightly cracked door open and found his answer. Compared to the rest of the studio, the closet was far more homely and lived in. Down and feathers littered the floor, and there was a nest tucked in the corner. That was where you slept. But what Morpheus took notice most of all, was the obsessive amount of drawings of Jessamy.
They were everywhere, pinned on the walls, stacked on shelves, stuffed between books on a small bookshelf. He moved over to a stack that sat next to a bowl full of charcoal, clearly being used. On the top of the pile was a sketch of himself with Jessamy, the drawn lines darkened and clear, sharp. His eyes were the only hint of color on the page, an illuminating blue. By far your best work yet, not even Morpheus had seen you draw this beautifully. As Morpheus stared at the sketch, he spotted something at the edge of the page that should not be there. A charcoal fingerprint.
All who knew you, who lived within the palace, knew to never touch your artwork unless permission was given. Who would even think to enter a place so small and intimate, one you took shelter in, and touch your work? Certainly with charcoal on their fingers? Morpheus reached for a journal he had given you, inscribed with your name in gold lettering, and opened it. More pictures of him and Jessamy greeted his gaze. It was just as obsessive, and Morpheus could see your mental breakdown over the years. But even as he witnessed your breakdown through your drawings his eyes kept returning to the fingerprint upon your sketch. So journal and sketch in hand, he strode from your studio and headed for the library, determined to finally get answers.
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Lucienne had been speaking with Mervyn about the newly rejuvenated gardens when their lord came striding into the library with a swirl of anger. Her brown eyes saw that he carried a leather-bound journal she often saw you drawing in, and a piece of parchment.
“Sir,” Lucienne greeted, trying to keep herself calm. “Is there something you need?” Morpheus strode up to her and held up a charcoal drawing of him with Jessamy perched on his shoulder. “Ah, I see you have discovered Adrienne’s artwork? She has much improved over the last century.” Lucienne said pleasantly, ignoring the charcoal fingerprint on the edge.
“Tell me, Lucienne, who enters Adrienne’s studio and touches her work when we all know that is an egregious event?” Morpheus asked, his voice poised with a lethal edge of a dagger. Both Mervyn and Lucienne shifted where they stood.
“I— I am not aware that anyone has entered Adrienne’s studio without permission let alone touched her work. We know she does not like it when her work is touched.” Lucienne replied evenly, reverting back to what was well known about you. “Not even to admire…” Morpheus shifted his gaze to Mervyn.
“And have you, Mervyn, witnessed anyone trespassing these halls? Surely you have seen something, as Adrienne does not possess hands.” He was enunciating his words now, his patience dwindling at the lack of information on you. Where were you? Why had you not appeared before him? Did you truly hate him? Did you despise him for Jessamy’s death? Were you in such anger that you would refuse to grace his presence ever again? Mervyn rubbed the back of his head, not knowing what to say. The promise he made to you all those years ago to treat Adrienne as dead was still strong… but lie to his lord? That he could not do.
“Well…” Mervyn sighed dramatically. “No one has gone into her studio who shouldn’t have, I can tell you that. She’d eat ‘em alive if they did… kinda anal about keeping people out actually. She’s gotten mean the past few decades,” He muttered while Lucienne forced herself to not facepalm herself in front of Morpheus. Mean. Adrienne had gotten mean. That was the first piece of true information Morpheus had gotten since coming home. But how could you have turned mean? You didn’t hold one mean bone in your entire body.
“Mervyn,” Your quiet, flat voice shattered the tension between the trio as you came striding into the library. The pumpkin headed janitor looked at you as you came to a stop. Your hair was ruffled and your clothes looked hastily put on. “I retrieved the sprite lantern from the relieving arch.” You announced. “If you want the Hesperides to stop throwing the lantern up there, may I suggest moving it? They despise each other.”
“Move it?” Melvyn repeated, insulted at the idea. “The whole point of having the spite lantern there is because of the water— ah fuck, I’m really gonna have to find a new place for the lantern, ain’t I?”
“Indeed,” You echoed, knowing that the janitor hated when he had to shift the homes of the residents of the palace around. They were quite persnickety about their place of home. You contemplated where the sprite lantern could be moved. “Perhaps the east end garden? I believe Lord Morpheus put in a new pond there.”
“Yeah, yeah, good idea,” Mervyn agreed before glancing at Morpheus. “Speaking of which, you met whitey here?” He asked, jerking his stick thumb at you. “She’s kind of mean and never smiles, not that she can, but is one hell of a worker to have around. She’s kept this place running while you were gone.”
You blinked at Mervyn before looking at Lord Morpheus.
“We have met before, though never the chance to formally speak,” You confirmed, then gave Mervyn an unimpressed look. “And I believe you mistake my frankness for me being mean, because that would imply emotions which you are aware that I do not experience.” As you stared at Mervyn who was scowling at you, you felt Morpheus gaze wearing heavily on your body. “If you will excuse me, retrieving the sprite lantern from the receiving arch is not the only task I have do to this day,” You said before giving your lord a respectful nod. “Lord Morpheus,”
You strode out of the library, heading for your next task. Morpheus stared at your back as you strode away, still feeling like there was something off about you. No, there was. He just couldn’t put his finger on it, and it wasn’t that you lacked empathy. It was something else. Something about you was hauntingly familiar, yet entirely foreign.
“Where did she come from?” He asked, settling his gaze back on Lucienne and Mervyn. They shifted uncomfortably. “She might be a resident of the Dreaming, but I have no memory of her. So tell me, exactly where did she come from? You say she has maintained my palace diligently all these years, yet I do not know her.”
“I just realized that I left the sprinkler on in the desert garden so I’m just gunna…” Mervyn rambled while edging his way out of the library, Morpheus made no comment, his eyes locked with Lucienne’s, who was staring back and trying not to be daunted. A nearly impossible task, even for her.
“Only a creature with wings, is capable of retrieving something from the relieving arch,” Morpheus stated, his eyes now hard. He was done asking questions. Yes, done with asking questions, worrying about where you were, wondering if you hated him, needing you… and would now demand answers. He demanded to know where you were, he demanded your presence. The secrets had gone on long enough. Even if you did in fact hate him, he still demanded your presence. “I expect Adrienne in my throne room tomorrow morning at ten o’clock exactly,” Morpheus decreed, then his eyes glowed silver in warning. “Or I shall summon her directly with my sand regardless of her wishes.” With that he strode away, coat billowing just as much as his anger.
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Date Published: 7/5/23
Last Edit: 7/5/23
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arctic-hands · 3 months
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I didn't want to clown on the gift donation for kids post and this might be a little late anyway, but if you're going to donate art supplies, or even give some to kids in your family, please think twice before getting those art kits that come with everything, even the ones that do come in fancy wooden boxes. They're almost always terrible in quality and even as a little kid you end up feeling frustrated by them and feel like you're the one doing something wrong or you don't have talent or something.
I get it, they're usually cheaper than buying even student grade supplies individually, but I remember getting one of the fancy wooden box ones at like thirteen then after a while getting (secretly, as to not upset the person who got me it that Christmas) because I felt I wasn't good enough at art to warrant such a gift because I couldn't get the pencils or watercolors or oil pastels to behave like how the books and videos told me they would behave. And even getting the plastic box ones as an even younger kid left me feeling frustrated. Because the kit ones are all full of cheap filler and less pigment as a cost cutting measure. And the paper that came with it was no better than printer paper so the watercolors disintegrated it.
Anyway I'm not saying you have to buy a one hundred dollar professional set of paint or something. And even student grade does add up. But a decent sketchbook (I recommend Canson XL Mixed Media, because not only is it cheap but the paper is great and there's like sixty sheets it), and maybe just one type of art supply instead of buying a whole studio's worth. Decent sets of artist pencils of different lead types are easy to come by. Or even just a few tubes of primary colors acrylic paints (I've been using Arteza acrylics and I like them a lot), or a box of decent oil pastels or a small watercolor pallet. And you can find decent brushes, even in packet sets, just make sure they're the right kind for the paints you're getting (and there are mixed media brushes too) Avoid at all costs the Crayola brushes with the thick plasticity bristles that are the bane of children everywhere tho.
TL;DR honestly, if you have the chance to know what the child likes in art supplies, just get them a decent set of that instead of one of the frustrating art kits that give you everything but for a lesser quality
(ALSO: make sure art supplies geared to younger kids are nontoxic, and if giving to an older kid who knows not to drink the paint water, make sure they know if there's anything toxic even still. This isn't too much of a worry these days unless you're getting really expensive pro stuff, but look out for warnings anyway)
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cuepickle · 9 months
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How do you get your line art so nice? Do you use a specific pen/pencil?
Omg someone asked me for my process over a year ago and I never got around to it - so I might as well now!
I use 250gsm blending card paper (meant for alcohol based markers) cause it’s very sturdy, lets you erase the same spot over and over without damage, and get some really crisp and clean lines without really denting the paper much.
I do a rough af base sketch with an HB mechanical pencil, then start putting in more detail/tidying it up like I have in the first pic, and then once I’m happy with it I go in with a B mechanical pencil to make the lines dark and thick like the final version. (They’re also all the thinnest leads you can get)
Then I take a photo with my phone and use the mono iPhone filter to get rid of the yellow light in my house, and often tidy up any pencil mess in the background using airbrush etc in clip studio
This process honestly takes FOREVER but I really like how it turns out so I try to tell myself it’s worth it 😌
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