#John M Ford
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A High Programmer styling himself “The Maker” imprints an artificial personality on a mutant who becomes “The Cybernetic Messiah, The Computer’s best beloved clone, sent to lead His children to that big storage peripheral in the sky,” in John M Ford’s “The Second Coming,” a 1-page Code 7 Paranoia adventure in Acute Paranoia (West End Games, 1986; Jim Holloway illustration). The First Church of Christ Computer-Programmer, the FCCC-P, first was mentioned as a secret society in the core Paranoia rules.
#Paranoia#Jim Holloway#John M Ford#Acute Paranoia#First Church of Christ Computer-Programmer#First Church of Christ Computer Programmer#FCCC-P#satire#computer program#angel
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January Book Reviews: The Dragon Waiting by John M Ford
Recommended highly by, I think, someone on tordotcom. Finally managed to get my hands on a copy. In an alternate Europe where Christianity never rose to power and Byzantium never fell, Constantinople maneuvers against Italy and England. Caught in these games of kings are an exiled nobleman, a cunning wizard, and a female physician.
This was a very clever book, but not an entirely likeable one. It is very well executed, and it won the World Fantasy Award when it was originally published. It also reminds me strongly of Dorothy Dunnett at her most opaque (derogatory). Well, not entirely derogatory-- Dunnett is after all a master at writing historical fiction, no matter how opaque her writing. This was also a book that was secretly about Richard Three. I don't know what they put in the water that makes authors obsessed with Richard Three. It seems to have also gotten Jo Walton and Josephine Tey. Probably it's Shakespeare.
I'm not entirely sure that the premise entirely holds together when it comes down to it. I don't think you could have a recognizable medieval Europe without Christianity, let alone England and Medicis and Savonarola and the dozens and dozens of other historical easter eggs.
Very clever, if perhaps a bit too clever.
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Ro-Mo. Your windows are still mirrored; taunt me not, But show your colors, dare to challenge me, These lips are two shaped charges, primed and hot, That wait the go-code for delivery.
J-Cap. The flag is to the deadly, not the loud, Yet aim as well as posing shows in this; The worthy throwdown’s always to the proud, And hammer down is how the hard girls kiss.
Ro-Mo. My draft is stopped; I struggle toward the clutch.
J-Cap. And would a charge of nitrous make thee run?
Ro-Mo. Too much; but what else is there but too much? Let me take arms, and elevate the gun.
J-Cap. Small arms but hint what demolitions say.
Ro-Mo. Then, gunner, gimme one round.
J-Cap. On the way.
—John M Ford, Verona Total Breakdown (Liebestod)
#John M Ford#pastiche#Romeo & Juliet#Verona Total Breakdown#how the hard girls kiss#but what else is there but too much#Small arms but hint what demolitions say#The flag is to the deadly not the loud
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Paging Dr Mike
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Starlight, painted on the sky
Sunset came without a warning
Stardrive, take me far away
I'll feel different in the morning
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Browsing Twitter this morning I re-encountered one of my favorite poems and thought I’d share it here.
#john m ford#not the elizabethan one#poem#sonnet#poetry#against entropy#the twin inevitabilities of death and database error
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As there's been some discussion of How Much For Just The Planet? recently: above is the link to the Gizmodo review.
In the process, Kirk ends up involved in Shakespearean nightmare involving star-crossed lovers, Uhura is chained to a Klingon while they live out a Raymond Chandler plot, and Sulu and McCoy are captured by an evil queen who wants to make them her slaves. And best of all, Scotty has a duel with a Klingon, fought the traditional Scottish way: a round of golf.
Also there’s a pie fight.
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The Lone Cowboy
The Lone Cowboy, an imagined artifact of Hollywood portraited by John Ford moves. This fixture of the depiction of the west has been a withstanding tradition across Monument Valley for years. Now in Contemporary America, the trained horse stands petrified on the edge of the cliff, so tourist can have themselves pictured as they were a part of these John Ford films.
Part of Dusted series
Hasselblad 500c/m
Kodak Tmax 400iso
#The Lone Cowboy#Monument Valley#John Ford#america#cowboy#travel#road trip#American Cowboy#Hollywood#movie#photo#photography#photographers on tumblr#photographers directory#photographerslife#film#film photography#film is not dead#original photographers#hasselblad 500c/m#Hasselblad#120#medium format#William Mark Sommer#Dusted#kodak
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There was a red flower on the desk where Kirk's dress uniform had been waiting for the laundryman, with a card reading "With the Hotel's Compliments."
Kirk smiled, picked up the flower, and with an elaborate flourish of his wrist inserted it in his buttonhole. When Pete's buddy Zack, playing the cat burglar, pretended to stun Kirk, he would grasp the flower as a last, sinking gesture. Tonight's entertainment was being played for royalty, after all.
How Much for Just the Planet by John M. Ford
Many people believe the T in James T. Kirk stands for "Tiberius," but it actually stands for "Total Drama Queen."
#How much for just the planet#John M. Ford#star trek#tos#books#currently reading#he's taking part in a fake burglary to make this guy Pete look good to his girlfriend's parents#so he is going to pretend to be attacked and everyone gets saved by Pete making his gf's parents okay with them getting married#of course Shenanigans are going to happen
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Hey, since cloning technology is good enough for them to create mammoth meatballs but not the entire mammoth yet, which prehistoric animal do you feel like taking a bite of?
Given where I was born, and where @dduane and I currently live, I think some Giant Irish Elk venison would be about right.
Enough for the entire clan with plenty of leftovers and a Handy Thing To Hang Stuff From.
*****
Which leads via Memory Lane to a funny by John M. Ford, who used to post such things - along with witticisms, wise observations and poetry - on Making Light.
He produced these in the same way a bonfire produces sparks: random, unexpected, brilliant and without apparent effort - though like the graceful swan on the river, I bet there was a lot of work going on out of sight. Or maybe not. Mike was that good.
For instance, he wrote THIS just to comment on another post...
I saved everything I could find offline because You Can Never Tell about online stuff, and also because there was, for a time, doubt - happily, It Got Better - that ANY of his writing would ever be seen again.
(Dammit, just like Terry Pratchett I HATE having to refer to Mike in past tense...)
And now, the funny (original archived Here). I've been assured that This Recipe Will Work, though the assurance also came with a strong suggestion about reducing the ingredient quantities More Than Somewhat.
*****
Hot Gingered Pygmy Mammoth & Jumbo Shrimp Salad
Feeds your whole tribe.
1 pygmy mammoth, boned and cubed (about 1 ton)
1 ton jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined (many many ordinary shrimps, or one Ebirah claw)
10 buckets sesame seeds
60 pounds bean thread noodles if you are an Eastern tribe, whatever your tribe uses for noodles otherwise. If you have not yet invented the noodle, this might be a good time to do so.
1 bucket vegetable oil
1 bucket sesame oil
Salt
10 buckets minced fresh ginger
6 buckets minced garlic
15 buckets dry Sherry
15 buckets rice wine vinegar
60 pounds sugar
60 buckets diced fresh mangoes
15 buckets chopped green onions
Big Snorgul's helmet full of red pepper flakes
10 buckets chopped fresh cilantro, plus 5 Big Snorgul's helmets fresh cilantro, garnish
1000 large heads lettuce, cored and leaves separated (a raid on the People Who Grow Stuff may be necessary)
30 buckets thinly sliced, peeled, seeded, drained cucumbers, or just chop up the damn cucumbers and say "Fie to thee!" a lot
All the chives you got
Preheat a giant turtle shell over a fumarole. A big giant turtle. Put some oil in there. Make sure no other giant turtles are around to see you do this.
On a flat rock, stirring with your Stick of the Dining God, dry cook the sesame seeds over medium heat until they are brown and smell good. Remove from the heat. Add the noodles to the turtle shell and fry fast until puffy and the color of sunrise. Remove from the oil and drain on non-itchy leaves. Throw salt. Set aside.
Sear the mammoth meat on the flat rock. Salt but don't overdo it, you remember what happened to the Chest-Clutching Tribe of the Plains. Drain.
Get a less giant turtle shell. Okay, think of this as a celebration dish for a good turtle hunt and shrimp catch. Make the vegetable oil and most of the sesame oil dance. Add the shrimp, mammoth, ginger, and garlic, and cook fast, stirring, until the shrimp are just pink and firm. Doom of Ten Thousand Wretched Canapés awaits those who overcook shrimp. Remove from the shell with pole weapons. Add the sherry and vinegar, and sing the Song of Deglazing over medium heat. Add the sugar and stir until it is one with the sauce. Cook until half the fluid is gone. Feed anybody who thinks this is waste to the giant turtles. Add the rest of the sesame oil, mangoes, green onions, and pepper flakes, and stir to warm through and wilt. No, this wilt is good. Tell the people it is the wilt of the Wilt God. You need all the mojo you can get. Remove from the heat and add the shrimp and ginger, and the cilantro. Stir to warm through and do the Highly Dramatic Ritual of Adjusting the Seasoning to Taste.
Now your tribal status is on the thin edge of the cleaver. Have everybody bring what they eat off of. You know your tribe. Put lettuce on whatever they hold out and spread the hot stuff on it. Those who have no eating platters should be used to the drill by now. Arrange cucumber slices on top in whatever symbolic pattern seems propitious to you and sprinkle with the toasted sesame seeds. If you have a really tough tribe, yell "Bam!" until they get a groove going. Add fried noodles, cilantro sprigs, and chives, and watch for any signs of people keeling over that can't be blamed on strong drink.
#prehistoric animals#edible archaeology#irish elk#pygmy mammoth#john m. ford#gnu terry pratchett#recipes
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vote yes if you have finished the entire book.
vote no if you have not finished the entire book.
(faq · submit a book)
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hate to say this but
//
#francis ford coppola#the godfather#talia shire#james caan#al pacino#alex rocco#john cazale#gay subtext#.m#.gifs
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The 4077 Film Festival
I watched three (plus) movies that they watched on M*A*S*H; this is my book report.
“Marlene Dietrich is back in town.” / 2x24 ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’
Okay so this one is actually just referenced in dialogue, not a specific film we watch them watch, but it happened that I watched two of Josef von Sternberg’s Marlene Dietrich films right before starting the M*A*S*H fest programming in earnest, so prologue, baby, prologue!
I had moved Shanghai Express (1932) up my watch list ever since it kicked off the Little Gold Men podcast’s Pride month Oscar flashbacks series this year, reminding me that I really wanted to see another Marlene Dietrich movie. Just stepping forward a few years into the 1930s also felt good, felt right after watching just so many (all) of Buster Keaton’s movies from the 1920s. Hot Chronological Summer!
I ended up watching both it and Morocco, because Shanghai Express SO enchanted me. Morocco (1930) is the one where Dietrich dresses in a tuxedo and steals a kiss from a woman, but Shanghai Express actually felt more pervasively, albeit subliminally queer to me, perhaps because she and her fellow sapphically inclined co-star Anna May Wong were rumored to have had an affair at some point. There’s just something about the scenes of the two of them lounging in a train car together just listening to music or silently playing cards and coolly eyeing anyone who comes in that says ‘gay culture.’ The actual romance plot is heterosexual of course, but it was wild how much more I was into that relationship than I was her one with Gary Cooper in Morocco, a much more famous and famously handsome star than [looks him up yet again] Clive Brook, and yet Brook all the WAY for me, girl. If we have to choose between Marlene Dietrich’s male love interests in von Sternberg pictures.
Anyway in the second season M*A*S*H episode ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’, Radar is engaged in a bit of hoodwinking (the 4077th’s second favorite pastime after flirting), and to indicate that he’s surreptitiously swapped some papers to further confuse some spy vs. spy antics going on, lights a cigarette and strikes a leg-up pose silhouetted in the doorway, causing spy #2 to ask if that’s the signal, and Hawkeye to remark, “Either that, or Marlene Dietrich is back in town,” and honestly describing Radar as being in drag as a famous bisexual woman from the ‘30s is not necessarily the least accurate description of Radar’s ideal gender that I can think of.
Should you watch Shanghai Express?
Babe yes, so moody in the best way. The play of light and shadow! This mysterious cast of characters all thrown together on a train! The Chinese civil war??? SHANGHAI EXPRESS.
Should you watch Morocco?
Also looks so so beautiful, but if you only have room in your life for one Marlene movie, easy choice it's the above.
Blood and Sand (1941) / 3x05 ‘O.R.’
And now we reach the movies they actually watch on the show, although the first is a slight feint: this one we only hear. Early in the third season episode ‘O.R.’, recognizing that they’re all going to be working through the night, Radar asks Henry if he should pipe the audio from the movie in over the PA system, and Henry approves of this. I IMMEASURABLY approve of this, and think hearing the sound of old movie dialogue and Spanish guitar playing half muffled overhead as they operate is one of the most spellbinding atmospheres this show ever captured.
But the interesting thing about the choice of Blood and Sand for this episode, is that what this movie was most known for was actually its bold Technicolor visuals. Reportedly, director Rouben Mamoulian would carry around spray paint with him so he could change the color of props at a moment’s notice, and was also known to just paint shadows onto the walls sometimes if he couldn’t get the effect he wanted with light alone. The efforts of Mamoulian and his crew nabbed them the Academy Award for Best Cinematography: Color for 1941 (this was the era where there were two cinematography categories for color and black & white; ran until the 1960s actually!), as well as a nomination for Art Direction.
Though the film got no other notices and somewhat mixed reviews overall, Tyrone Power and Rita Hayworth were big deal movie stars, and their star-power is probably what contributed to much of this movie’s commercial success. When Father Mulcahy, hearing a scene playing over the speaker, asks what this is, Henry just states the title and their names. From another table, Hawkeye adds as a piece of description: “The Frank and Hot Lips of Old Seville.”
As it happens, Hawkeye’s joke is not so far off really! Tyrone Power is playing a passionate dumb matador married to a beautiful and innocent Linda Darnell (secret stalwart of the M*A*S*H programming, she's in two of these!), but gets swept up in a tumultuous affair with a powerful temptress played by Rita Hayworth. Something I learned watching Blood and Sand is that when Loretta Swit is playing Margaret in glimmering, half-lidded seduction mode, a big loose enticing smile on her lips, she is absolutely channeling Rita Hayworth in movies like this. And given the way Blood and Sand goes (I am so sure you can guess), Hawkeye would seem to be implying that Margaret is fully capable of destroying Frank’s whole hapless married ass.
Verisimilitude Corner: What plays over the speakers is 100% a scene in Blood and Sand, but I believe that the Spanish guitar I so love is actually lifted from a different part of the score and layered in with this particular Power & Hayworth dialogue. It creates a much more distinctive auditory profile to weave through the background of this scene; I completely understand why they would have done this.
Should you watch Blood and Sand?
Naw, it’s sure got a look, but story and construction aren’t exactly anything to write home about
Leave Her to Heaven (1945) / 3x18 ‘House Arrest’
The first thing I noticed about Leave Her to Heaven should have occurred to me earlier: 20th Century Fox. All three of these titles turn out to be Fox movies, making all the sense in the world, as M*A*S*H the show was produced by the Fox television arm, after the success of the feature branch’s surprise hit, M*A*S*H the Altman film. Licensing clips of movies is definitely easier when they are also your movies.
The next framing element we need to discuss is that once more, this film was known for its vivid Technicolor cinematography, again the winner of the Academy Award for Cinematography: Color its year! And yet, what they’re watching on M*A*S*H is definitely Leave Her to Heaven, and definitely in black & white. Come to think of it, they all are.
I have tried to figure out what’s going on here, and in the process have learned a lot more about the mechanics both physical and economic of Technicolor film, but have not come up with any definitive explanation (yet), just an educated guess. Which is, as it so often is, especially with the Army: cost. Shooting Technicolor film was outrageously expensive, involving huge cameras that you had to rent by the day from the Technicolor company, through which you would run three strips of film that were treated in different ways, so would respond to light and then dye differently (yes they dyed the film! incredible! are you seeing why it was SO ‘SPENSIVE), and then they’d all be layered together, et voilà: the richer-than-life colors you see in Technicolor films from the 30s-50s.
And as a side product this process also resulted in: a black & white negative. Now I have not yet found anyone confirming this, but my suspicion is that the studios would also make some copies off this negative that were not run through the pricey dye process, and those black & white reels would have been available for cheap if you were, say, the U.S. Army, looking for a discounted way to distract for a couple hours the people you’ve sent to fight a war from the fact that you’ve sent them to fight a war. I think it’s a good theory! But if anyone has actual info PLEASE let me know, I’m so so interested in what was going on here.
But meanwhile: in the third season M*A*S*H episode ‘House Arrest’, Hawkeye, on the titular house arrest, learns that Gene Tierney, striking in any color scheme, is in the movie they have that week, and is ready to move Heaven & Earth, or at least Father Mulcahy, to be able to see her. What Hawkeye does not know at this moment, nor would anyone watching this episode who has not seen John M. Stahl’s Leave Her to Heaven, is that it also predominantly takes place in SMALL TOWN MAINE. I love the idea of M*A*S*H writers putting this easter egg in here, winking “and this will be one for the Criterion crowd :)”, also predicting the emergence of the Criterion Collection ten years later.
Verisimilitude Corner: For reasons I cannot fathom, the Leave Her to Heaven clips playing on the wall of the Swamp are happening all out of order. The first scene we see set at a table takes place in the early middle of the film, then we cut way back to the beginning portion in New Mexico, before swinging all the way to a piece in the last act. There is no wedding scene, no matter what Father Mulcahy says, but it is in fact even funnier that Henry cries at the one he does, as this is actually one of Gene Tierney's big dangerous femme fatale moments (for all that like, they all are—tbc!!), and his weeping at it tracks with how Nurse Able is mystified by his reaction, and earlier he'd complained that after looking away for two seconds he had lost the plot.
Should you watch Leave Her to Heaven?
So turns out Leave Her to Heaven is considered one of the few COLOR NOIRS, and it kinda fucks totally. It looks so Douglas Sirk melodrama gorgeous, but with a plot straight out of Gone Girl. And like, you ever seen Vincent Price, young? NOT I. Impossibly tall. Shows up in a literal rain storm in the desert. Martin Scorsese has said this is one of his favorite movies—the taste.
My Darling Clementine (1946) / 5x22 ‘Movie Tonight’
And finally, from the Potter era, and from Potter’s heart, comes the fifth season episode 'Movie Tonight', where we watch really a remarkable amount of the battered copy he’s managed to track down of his favorite film, the John Ford western My Darling Clementine.
Harry Morgan is so cute, the phrase “My Darling Clementine” is so cute—with its lilting song to match—and this episode itself: it’s cute. The film screening works just as Colonel Potter hoped it might: a way to bring his campful of grown theater kids together during a tense patch. It’s very funny how little urging it takes for them to begin using every unplanned projector failure intermission as an opportunity to get up and start doing impressions for each other.
But do you know what’s so intriguing? When I finally watched My Darling Clementine, I found it actually struck a kind of harmony with M*A*S*H’s more melancholy currents. Filmed in 1946, it’s been called one of the first true post-war westerns, and there does feel something sort of haunted in it, this sense of loss. It starts in the song even, which after those first lines you remember is actually about a young woman “lost and gone forever.” So many of the characters are carrying some sort of wound, physicalized in coughs or injuries if not simply the toll clearly being wrought on them by the deaths that keep falling around them.
And then there’s that the two main characters are a brooding, Shakespeare-loving, TB-stricken outlaw surgeon (oh okay!), and their reluctant but-I’ll-do-it new marshal, a mellow, even-voiced, semi-secretly then not at all secretly total fucking weirdo, who caused me to message a M*A*S*H friend part-way in, hey, did we know Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp is Such A BJ. Fun, FUN. That would have been fun in the mess tent.
The film itself isn’t devoid of humor, either, should mention! Particularly around Old West Hunnicutt. It's that element as well as its dreamy bleakness that pairs well with a mobile hospital post in Korean War sitcom purgatory. Colonel Potter, famously, loves horses, so his 2/3rds horse-based explanation for why he loves this movie raises zero questions, but what that doesn’t indicate is you’re also going to get scenes like one where Doc Holiday is having alcohol poured over his hands so he can do emergency surgery on a pair of scrubbed tables in the saloon. This was a good pick, M*A*S*H writers, is what I’m saying.
Should you watch My Darling Clementine?
Oh yes if I was not clear: Yes
4077 Film Festival: Closing Remarks
I enjoyed this process so much. I love conceptual experiences and homework, so. Really optimal for me. And I love old movies and I love M*A*S*H and I love their use of old movies on M*A*S*H! Contemporary cultural elements like this do wonders I think to call you to their actual time period, as this show is so much about the 1970s and Vietnam, that remembering it's actually set in the '50s can give me an enjoyable swoop in my stomach as I suddenly fall back further in time. It was the 1950s... The records that show up in 'Your Hit Parade' are all jazz... M*A*S*H: good show, good movie & music supervision.
Up next: NOT Bedtime For Bonzo (1951), a real movie, that also underscores my statement above as I just need to express to you: starred future president Ronald Reagan. M*A*S*H!!!!
#M*A*S*H#M*A*S*H hours#Shanghai Express#Morocco (1930)#Josef von Sternberg#Marlene Dietrich#Blood and Sand#Rouben Mamoulian#Rita Hayworth#Linda Darnell#Tyrone Power#Leave Her To Heaven#John M. Stahl#Gene Tierney#Vincent Price#My Darling Clementine#John Ford#Henry Fonda#Victor Mature#Wellntruly's Watch Log
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hey look it’s a picture of some rlly good fantasy books lol
Daughter of Redwinter by Ed McDonald
Rise of the Mages by Scott Drakeford
In the Shadow of Lightning by Brian McClellan
The Starless Crown by James Rollins
Aspects by John M. Ford
Destiny of the Dead by Kel Kade
The Memory in the Blood by Ryan Van Loan
#daughter of redwinter#ed mcdonald#rise of the mages#scott drakeford#in the shadow of lightning#brian mcclellan#the starless crown#james rollins#aspect#john m. ford#destiny of the dead#kel kade#the memory in the blood#ryan van loan#fantasy#books#epic fantasy#redemption
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(This is not a review of) The Dragon Waiting, John M. Ford's lost classic of fantastical history
So what’s this book you liked so much?
It’s called The Dragon Waiting. It’s a 1983 novel by a guy named John M. Ford. It’s this erudite historical fantasy, or maybe fantastical history, that—
Wait, it’s called The Dragon Waiting? It’s like about dragons and shit? Dungeons and dragons?
There are dungeons, or really towers—the whole medieval motif of hostage-taking is part of the novel—but no, no…
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#blogs#Cult Novels#historical fantasy#Historical Fiction#John M. Ford#Reviews#riffs#The Dragon Waiting#Thomas Pynchon
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Against Entropy, by John M. Ford
Against Entropy
by John M. Ford
The worm drives helically through the wood
And does not know the dust left in the bore
Once made the table integral and good;
And suddenly the crystal hits the floor.
Electrons find their paths in subtle ways,
A massless eddy in a trail of smoke;
The names of lovers, light of other days
Perhaps you will not miss them. That’s the joke.
The universe winds down. That’s how it’s made.
But memory is everything to lose;
Although some of the colors have to fade,
Do not believe you’ll get the chance to choose.
Regret, by definition, comes too late;
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
#poetry#john m. ford#entropy#say what the fuck you mean#bear witness#iterate#live the life you intend to live#from here on forward#because entropy always wins#we don't fight because we can win#we fight because we are the only entities in creation that can fight entropy#literally all the meaning our existence has is in acts of defiant creation
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