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#Jason Todd is a theater kid
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Sure, the Dead Robin's Club is a nice name and all, but you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that Jason "we could start a poetry slam and still bust these dorks" Todd, the original Dead Robin, theater kid energy given form, Shakespeare and Austen nerd, literature lover, would not call it the Dead Robin's Society.
It is a petty hill to die on, but I will do so.
Give him an oh captain, my captain moment, damnit!
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AU where Jason comes back to Gotham and begins his plan to confront Batman and all that. Except after only like a week the Joker gets hit by a bus and then shot by a little old lady with a shotgun and dies.
Jason’s plan is now in shambles because the dramatic climax of his plan is no longer possible. But that’s fine. He’ll think of some other suitable alternative. Granted, it’s not quite the same if he uses some other villain. Making Batman choose doesn’t mean nearly as much when it’s not about the person who killed him.
And really, is he going to try and get Batman to kill Black Mask or something? Scarecrow? Red Hood is competent; he could do it himself so why bother.
So Jason lays low continues to build his criminal empire with astounding speed and efficiency. If only he could think of a good way to announce his return. Nothing he can think of is dramatic enough.
Meanwhile, the Bats are freaking out because who is this guy that’s taken over half of the Gotham underworld in like a month? He’s obviously trained, but they just can’t seem to get any information on who he is or where he came from. It is beyond frustrating.
After a few months Jason is frustrated that he just can’t seem to find any dramatic good way of making Batman prove himself. It has to be something big! Something magnificent!
During his weekly chat with Talia he complains about his problems and she suggests he come back for a visit. He argues that he can’t just leave, but she says if he has competent enough lieutenants it’d be fine. He spends the next three weeks making sure that everything will be fine if he leaves for a week. He will not have all of his hard work falling apart and going to waste due to incompetence. Absolutely not.
So then once his lieutenants are sufficiently prepared (and the rest of Gotham’s criminal element sufficiently cowed), he heads to Nanda Parbat, only to find Ra’s on the phone with Bruce, who is demanding to know if the Red Hood has any affiliation with the league.
Oh. Oh. He can give them affiliation.
A new plan begins to form.
He’s going to be the most affiliated he can be. Jason immediately goes to Talia with his newest plan: Overthrow Ra’s and takeover the league. Talia whips out her forty step outline for overthrowing Ra’s and tells Jason she’s so proud of him.
Jason has a new goal now, so he gets to work. He checks on things in Gotham, but everything seems to be fine and there haven’t been any unplanned explosions so it should be fine if he stays here for a bit.
Taking over Gotham really was good practice, as it turns out. Thanks to Talia’s plans and previous foundational efforts the takeover happens in no time.
Meanwhile the bats are still freaking out. Red Hood hasn’t been seen in three weeks, he may or may not have league of assassins connections, and even in his absence his goons seem to be managing things competently.
Back in Nanda Parbat, Jason and Talia finish their takeover. And now, finally, he’s ready to confront Batman.
He arrives in Gotham as the new head of the league. His arrival is loud, elaborate, and dramatic enough to fulfill his inner theater kid’s dreams.
Batman is speechless. And not his usual grunts instead of words, but actual surprised speechless. Jason is alive?!?!?!?
Jason was not expecting all the tears. And hugs. And mother henning. Goodness gracious, this was not part of the plan.
Bruce is obviously struggling with Jason’s revelation that he took over the league, but the newest little birdie seems almost relieved at that(?) and Dick and Alfred both seem strangely proud. Whatever. Even Bruce seems to be at least mostly ignoring that for now.
Then someone asks him if he knows Red Hood. Jason blinks. Says that yeah, he knows Red Hood. Everyone seems to ease at that. One mystery solved. Jason quickly realizes that most of them have no idea he is Red Hood. Cass seems to be the only exception but also appears amused and willing enough to not mention it.
Dramatic appearance complete, Jason now has a new goal: see how long he can keep the bats (minus Cass and potentially Alfred) in the dark about his crime boss identity.
He will bribe Cass as much as it takes to keep her on board with the causing chaos plan, but she seems eager enough. Favorite sibling status definitely unlocked. (The whole killing thing is fought over at great length and a truce of sorts is eventually made)
David Cain is never heard from again.
Damian shows up at some point.
At least one league member has suddenly found themselves as an HR rep for Gotham criminals? They’re still not quite sure how that happened.
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alyakthedorklord · 8 months
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Bat Poker Face Training
Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.
Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”
Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”
Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“
Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”
Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”
Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”
Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”
Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?
Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”
Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“
Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”
Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”
Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”
Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”
Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”
Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”
Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”
Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”
Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…
Tap. The screen lights up white.
Duke: “No.”
Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”
Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”
Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”
Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”
Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”
Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”
Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”
Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”
Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
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sapphiretanto · 5 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love how four of them casually and calmly talk about their days as Robin…
… and then there’s Jason “Theater Kid” Todd
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ahfrickenfrick · 1 month
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theater kid jason breaking into the known theaters at night because he knows they have to stay heated to some degree for certain mechanics to run smoothly during show seasons
and when he comes back to gotham it’s one of the first places he crashes again, and is constantly making sure it stays a safe area even if it’s subconsciously
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ditzybat · 2 months
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in teen titans 29, do you think jason went out and bought a robin costume to wear, or do you think he saw the poorly made polyester spirit halloween costumes and said ‘nah’ and sewed his own custom robin cosplay?
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arrowmaker15 · 7 months
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(Jason and Steph watching a horror movie while eating pizza)
Steph: What!? People like that give blondes a bad name!
Jason: You're telling me. Apparently theater kids HAVE to be short and shaped like a stick. So not true.
Steph: Oh, really?
Jason: Yeah! I was a theater kid and I was never like that- *stops*
Steph, grinning: You were a theater kid?
Jason: Don't-
Steph: I'm telling *everybody*.
Jason: Fuck.
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What are some of your controversial opinions about The Tony Awards or Olivier Awards? (Shows/People that should have won)
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I’ve seen some posts where ectoplasm is capable of melting/eating through metal mixing that with the Lazarus waters as a form of ectoplasm HC.
If Jason is ecto-contaminated via the Lazarus waters then his body could be capable of dissolving or processing metals.
Jason going through Crime Alley as the Red Hood just literally eating bullets like they’re crisps as an intimidation tactic on top of the duffel bag incident. Or him just never worrying about removing bullets/shrapnel because his blood dissolves it.
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Do you think Bruce ever did one of those press memorial events for Jason where he read some crappy poetry he’d jotted down in his diary and at the time it’s sweet but then Jason comes back and now his three am vent poems are spattered across some bitch’s Instagram post and there’s nothing he can do about it? Because, personally, that would be reason enough to instigate a life-long feud with Bruce, other trauma be damned.
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nelkcats · 1 year
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Hood Assistant
Prompt Part 1 Part 4 Part 5 Ao3 Next
Part 6
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The wounded know better how to treat other wounded
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"You guys are really annoying" Crane complained from his Arkham cell, ever since the daybat left him there he had been put in solitary confinement for escaping.
Which he usually wouldn't mind, it was much better to be alone than to hear the Joker's laughs or Waylon's complaints, but the damn cell had a window.
And what was watching him from the window? crows, many of them, after his lamentable defeat he tried to ignore them upon their arrival but it wasn't working.
"Why are you here? Are you making fun of me?" Scarecrow complained with a frown, he really hated birds.
"Kar, Kar, Kar" one of the crows flapped its wings, though it looked a bit apologetic, if birds could show emotions.
"What? Are you trying to apologize or something?" Crane scoffed, not buying the act the crow was showing.
"Kar, Kar" the crow nodded, it almost seemed like they were really sorry for leaving him in such bad shape.
"As if I would believe you" Scarecrow snorted "if you really want to apologize get out of my sight"
Surprisingly that seemed to work because the crows began to disperse. Crane looked at the situation with curiosity, he had spent hours arguing with the creatures and asking them to leave, what was different this time?
And then he saw it, a cat had crashed through the bars of his cell window, it looked pretty small, probably a bit adventurous considering he had pounced on three adult crows at the same time.
"Oh" Scarecrow fixed his gaze on the little cat, he looked quite malnourished, and he was sure he had an infection or two, but technically he had driven the crows away right? He really couldn't be mad about it.
"You're a long way from home, aren't you buddy?" He questioned, the cat looked at him curiously, probably wondering if he should jump at him or not.
It was quite easy to determine the winning option because before he knew it the little kitten had jumped onto the mask on his head.
"What are you doing over there?" Asked the villain, more amused than angry, it was a little worrying that he couldn't feel the weight of the cat on his head.
"The guards are going to be mad if they find you here, you know?" Crane continued speaking, finally reaching the kitten and tucking it into his arms, "you must be an adventurer."
"Meow" the cat meowed, reaching into the seams of the mask and nibbling, it looked like he had found something to play with.
"You're also lonely aren't you?" Scarecrow said, you could hear some fondness in his tone; he glanced around his confinement cell but there didn't seem to be anyone near him, the guards wouldn't be passing by for hours either. In the end, he made up his mind to stroke the cat's fur.
"You need a bath, and probably a vet" he stated checking the little boy, he had a scar over his eye and was obviously neglected, it wasn't a surprise considering he lived in Gotham.
"Do you hate crows too?" He questioned curiously as he watched the cat wagging its tail as it stared out the window, he took the meow as confirmation.
"I guess we have some things in common" Scarecrow allowed himself a smile "I should help find you an owner, you're too young to be here alone."
The cat looked away from the window and fixed on him at the mention of a new caretaker, meowed with determination and placed one of his paws on Crane's mask.
"Me?" The confused villain questioned "I don't think that's a good idea, I work a lot with chemicals and I'm currently stuck here, surely we can find someone better qualified"
The cat didn't seem to like the answer because it meowed again and placed both paws on the man.
"Okay, okay, you're stubborn, if you want me to take care of you I guess we can work something out." Crane sighed, he didn't know if sneaking a kitten into his cell was a good idea, but it can't be helped "I guess strays stick together, don't we?"
Well, he supposed there was nothing he could do, he had acquired a cat.
"We're gonna be great friends, Cannon"
—--------
Amazingly Danny managed to make it through the whole night without waking up from a nightmare. That could have something to do with the warm weight around his waist, or with Nocturn, he wasn't quite sure which.
Though to be completely honest, he refused to thank the pesky dream ghost for anything, their differences might have been sorted out, more or less, but he had the right to continue pissed off for all damn eternity. Who decides that putting an entire city to sleep was a good bonding exercise to meet the new ghost? Literally no one!
"Five more minutes" the halfa muttered when he felt his pillow move. That was weird, Johnny must be bothering him again.
"Ugh, stop," he groaned, touching the bed aggressively in an attempt to stop the annoying ghost, but he frowned when he felt the surface.
"How strange, I don't remember buying such a square pillow, but it is quite comfortable" Danny yawned as he began to open his eyes a little.
"Did I just got demoted to a pillow?" Jason asked with amusement watching as the boy kept touching his chest, probably to settle him on the bed or something. 
"Pillows don't usually complain that much" the halfa complained before opening his eyes fully and noticing the person next to him "WAIT, JAY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY PILLOW?"
"Take a closer look," Jason told him with a chuckle.
"What am I going to look-" the halfa stopped talking and blushed when he noticed how he was lying on the other's chest "Damn, you're comfortable"
"Is that all you're going to say?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I'm not the pillow-shaped one between the two of us," Danny smirked. Although he was having an internal panic; he decided that was going to be a problem for future Danny, one more awake than the current one.
Jason just shook his head feeling amused by the situation, that wasn't what he expected to hear when he woke up.
"So...have you considered working as a professional pillow?" Danny asked, leaning back into Jason's chest.
Honestly Jason was quite surprised by the nerve "I don't think that's a real job, Doll"
"I could make it real, you know." Danny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively with a smile, apparently being half asleep gave him courage to flirt.
"Danny, I'm the one who gives your paycheck" Jason couldn't help but laugh at the face the boy was making "just shut up and let me go, I need to make breakfast"
"But you're sooo soft and waaarm" the halfa complained sadly, actually he just didn't want to let him go, he was sure that the only reason he was calm at that moment was the other's presence.
"Doll, as much as I want to lay here all day you really need a good breakfast" Jason reminded him "don't think I forget about the comment you made to the kids, you're going to leave this house well fed"
“You really don't have to do that" the halfa muttered embarrassed, he really hoped the other would forget that comment quickly.
"No, I will, and since your roommate isn't here to reason with you I feel responsible for doing so," Jason stared at him, daring him to argue, "So you're going to sit here and have the best breakfast of your life, okay?"
"Okay" Danny agreed, he felt a chill down his spine but refused to participate in the strange power play, he could feel the intensity in the other gaze and taking into account his own experiences with Jazz he knew better than to argue with the person preparing his food. Besides, Jason reminded him too much of an Italian matriarch at the moment to argue.
"Still, I really don't feel good enough to let you go right now" the boy muttered worriedly.
"What do you mean by that? You look pretty good to me" He asked curiously, actually he looked too good to have recently come out of a fear gas attack, he was suspicious for a moment but no one could fake such an intense reaction like the day before.
"It's embarrassing" Danny muttered, fixing his gaze on the bedroom window, Gotham had a strangely picturesque architecture "you're going to laugh at me"
"I will laugh at you for many things, but your trauma is not one of them" Jason clarified seriously "you can trust me, Doll"
"Okay then" Danny sucked in as much air as he could and let it out all at once, it was a clear attempt to give himself courage "You are my anchor"
"Your anchor? I don't remember you having a boat," Jason teased as he tried to make sense of the sentence in his head, all he could think of were Percy Jackson lines. He shouldn't have let his brother convince him to read the whole saga, his expectations for romance were too high because of it.
The lines when Percy gets Achilles' curse were really romantic, weren't they? He is certainly not referring to that.
Though something inside him screamed that this was definitely a literature reference he should pay attention to, Jason doubted it, no one had ever said or referenced cute lines to him before and he doubted a pretty boy would start.
"Not that kind of anchor" the halfa turned to see him and smacked his arm annoyed "You are my anchor to reality, when you're around fear fades, like a lucky charm"
"A pillow, an anchor, and now an amulet, you assign me only good things, don't you?" The vigilante sneered, "So, the reason you're so well is…?"
"Yeah, it's because you're close" Danny decided to ignore Jason's comment about how he kept associating him with objects, it wasn't his fault it fit "The gas makes me see a lot of things but when I feel your heartbeat I just- I don't know "
"Relax?" Jason asked softening the expression on his face, he understood the need to want to know that the people you cared about were safe, it was a feeling he related to.
Like the need to know that his family was safe away from him, that the pits hadn't hurt them yet, and wouldn't.
"Quite a lot" Danny nodded "I think my heartbeat is imitating yours or something" he tried to joke.
"My heartbeat?" Jason asked curiously, that's when he noticed Danny's grip on his right arm, one of his fingers resting lightly on his carotid artery.
The place where doctors usually checked the pulse of their patients.
"How long have you been checking?" He asked again with his renewed curiosity, he found it interesting that he hadn't noticed the boy's hand obviously clinging to him when it was obvious that he had been like this for more than a while. Jason was supposed to have been trained by ninjas and Batman himself, how the hell did he miss that?
"Since I woke up, it probably started a bit after that" the halfa admitted sheepishly "I was checking your heartbeat when I lay on your chest, but after pulling away I really needed to be sure, I know it's a little weird, but I really don't want to go back to the world of fear Jay"
The world of fear was much worse than Frighty's dimension because it kept playing with his head, replaying and distorting his own memories until they were destroyed. The fact that Dan didn't appear even once during the flashbacks was worrying. It meant that the fear to his own city and the despair born of how much he had failed far outweighed the fear of himself.
Although he didn't want to cause Jason any unnecessary discomfort, his half-asleep state had taken over his morning actions, the ghost side of him became extremely possessive of the person who had "saved" him, and he needed to make sure that he was fine, alive, breathing.
"So, to clarify: the reason you're so calm right now is because of me? Somehow I make you feel better?" Jason would be lying if he said he wasn't moved by the thought.
"Or at least that's my theory" he said "My head was in a horrible place, I kept reminiscing and trying to suppress things I don't want to think about, until I found you, you became my light Jay"
"You make it sound like a romance novel," Jay tried to tease, he hoped Danny didn't notice his heartbeat rising at the words. It was strange that such a cheesy phrase was out of a book and coming out of the mouth of the cutest boy he had ever seen.
Focus Jason, you're not in a romance novel, this is real life.
Of course, Jason wouldn't deny how warm the thought felt, him, Jason Tood, being a knight in shining armor in a romance novel? It was a scenario he had thought of multiple times when he was a child.
"I would say it's a fantasy novel, although maybe it has multiple genres" the halfa smiled "it's the story of a knight who rescues a person in distress and becomes his safe place"
"I've never been anyone's safe place, I don't know if you're making a good decision with it" Jay said doubtfully.
But how are you supposed to react when the person who is slowly stealing your heart starts talking about you in such a dreamy way? When you can see the stars in his eyes and the blush on his cheeks? And you know that's not for anyone but you?
To a certain extent, it was too much; Red Hood was the protector of Crime Alley, Robin was the protector of Gotham, but Jason? Jason had never been anyone's protector, no one had seen him as if he hung the moon in the sky, no one had trusted him so sincerely.
No one had looked upon him with such affection since his mother's death, not even Bruce. Although, that could be due to how constipated his father was with emotions.
And this guy just decided to go for it? For no reason?
Could the trust be because he was Danny's only choice? A treacherous part of his head wondered. But Danny had trusted him before that, and the reaction looked real.
That worried him, how far was this pretty boy willing to go before he regretted it? What would happen when he realized that trusting Jason Todd wasn't worth it? After all he wasn't just Jason anymore, as much as he sometimes wished he was. Would he run? Will he fear him like everyone else in his life? Dreading the moment when he goes berserk and goes for blood? Or will he choose to stay against all odds?
And the worst part, will Jason be able to bear his decision?
For some reason, Jason hated to think about it. He didn't want to be the one to change the boy's perspective. He didn't want to be the one to turn out the stars in the sky. He didn't want to be the villain.
He was so tired of being cast as the bad guy, the person to blame, he was trying his best, dammit! Why couldn't anyone see it? Why when they saw Red Hood they didn't see little Robin who was his shadow?
"Jason, are you alright?" Danny asked with concern "I know it might be uncomfortable, I can try to fight the toxin on my own if you'd rather I stop touching you"
"No!" Jason's scream startled both of them, neither of them willing to admit how desperate it sounded to both of their ears. One because he did not want to bother and the other because he tried to ignore the event.
"No, it's not necessary" Jason cleared his throat, trying not to think about how bad it felt to tell the boy to go away "You don't make me feel uncomfortable, that's fine, and if it's helping I won't take that away from you."
"If you say so," Danny looked at him doubtfully, but if Jay wasn't willing to admit it then there was nothing he could do.
And that's when Jason realized how desperate he was for affection, how badly he needed someone just brushing his arm. It was surreal how soothing Danny's touch felt in his hand, like putting balm on an old scar.
As much as Dick had tried to fill that void of affection, Jason had sorely refused, the contact feeling strange, uncomfortable, yet welcome. And it wasn't his older brother's fault, the family situation was just awkward since he introduced himself as Red Hood, the pits didn't help either. Now that he technically had an excuse he couldn't bear not to take it and take advantage of the situation a bit.
I'm really touch starved, aren't I?
The vigilante questioned ironically, although without knowing it, Danny was thinking the same thing. Both of them had been deprived of such a basic right that the mere touch of another person felt like a roller coaster ride, better than the mystical "electrical connection" spoken of in romance books. Or the love at first sight that was mentioned in the songs.
Touching and hugging, along with the affection that comes from such actions were basic things that both had been deprived of for so long that their bodies actively sought them out, and now that they both had a valid excuse to initiate contact they had no plans to let go.
"Don't you feel uncomfortable?" Jason asked, in an attempt to return the favor "if you're just doing it to keep yourself away from the effects of the toxin that's fine."
"It's not that, it just feels right, you know?" Danny smiled.
For a few moments they were not Red Hood, nor Phantom, they were simply Jason and Danny, two normal people who sought affection from those around them like dehydrated people finding a spring in the middle of the desert.
"Yeah, I get it," he said, because he really did, though he didn't know if they were talking about the same thing.
"Love, love" sang the little bird in the window while he watched the scene, it seemed that he had liked the word so much that he just repeated it randomly.
"Well, I should go make breakfast for you, shouldn't I, little prince?" The vigilante quipped, if he was the knight then Danny would be the closest thing to a prince in a tower.
"Lead the way, my dear knight" Danny said happily, "we'll finally see your fabulous culinary skills in action."
"You've seen them before, with the soup," Jason scoffed.
"I thought that was more of a community job, but it's true that you were guiding the whole process," Danny hummed.
"Yeah, so ready to try a meal prepared entirely by me? There will be no slicing carrots this time," Jason assured him.
"Excuse me, my carrots had personality, okay?" Danny teased, remembering the moment he showed off his creation.
"I think you murdered their personality after cutting them, it looked like a massacre" the vigilante admitted.
"We can't all be Gordon Ramsay, and you said that they were fine!" The halfa protested offended.
"They were, for a newbie." Jason looked away, pretending he hadn't heard the offended gasp that came from the pretty boy.
"Oh, so this is how we're going to play? Okay, but I'm warning you that I'll check your chef's hat looking for a rat in it" Danny threatened him, if Jason had help ratatouille style he would know it.
"Are you accusing me of cheating? I don't need a chef's hat" Jason replied, a little offended.
"We'll get you one, every professional needs a chef's hat, and a 'kiss the chef' apron" Danny was quick to point out, those were basic elements for a kitchen. 
"That's quite a strong statement you know?" Jason asked, amused.
"It's not that I want to kiss you!" the halfa quickly denied, ignoring the laughter of his boss.
"So I'm not kissable enough huh? too ugly for you?" Jason teased moving closer to him.
"¡No! I'm not saying that either, you're cute, comfortable, you have perfect abs, and I'm absolutely sure you're also an excellent kisser- hell, I wouldn't object to kiss you" the halfa stammered.
"I'm just kidding, Danny." Jason raised his eyebrows with a smirk on his face.
"I completely knew that," Danny tried to assure, sounding as uncertain as he felt.
—-----------
"That class almost killed me" Amorpho complained under his breath as he left advanced physics, he was really going to kill Johnny, he hadn't entered an educational center in years, not counting the time he impersonated Danny.
"I know man, all the theory is too much" one of his classmates commented as he left the room next to him "although I'm surprised you asked so many questions, you're usually more quiet"
"Ah, I needed some guidance this time" Amorpho looked away, it was obvious that Danny was much better than him in that class, considering who his parents were.
"It's ok, we all have bad days" the student shrugged "you can join our study group if you want"
"Really? That would be nice." Even though he wasn't planning on impersonating Danny for so long, he could at least not mess up his grades in the meantime. And well, learning a little more about what was happening right now sounded interesting, even if it was math.
"Sure, by the way, those contacts are totally cool" stated the guy next to him "Where did you buy them?"
"Uh, I ordered them from a place quite far away" Amorpho said uncertainly, he had forgotten that his red eyes didn't fit Danny, that most of his classmates would have taken them as contact lenses was a relief "I don't know if they're still for sale "
"Gezz, that's really bad" the boy sighed "well, our group meets in the evenings, don't get caught by a villain in the meantime! It would be nice to have more people joining"
"I'll be there" Amorpho stated with a smile, if he was going to play student he might make some semblance of friends in the process, or at least entertain himself.
"Speaking of which, do you know where the drama club meets?" The ghost asked curiously after passing by a poster with large colored letters and a 'we are waiting for you!' written in glitter
"Sure, a friend of mine is inside, and you're lucky, our meetings don't really clash with each other, would you like me to guide you?" The boy questioned.
"That would be lovely" the ghost stated, Johnny had technically said that he could do anything, joining two college clubs was on the list.
"Great, I really didn't see you as a theater kid you know?" The boy perked up, apparently interested in the conversation "you always looked a bit sad back there, I thought you didn't like to socialize and that kind of thing"
"Yeah, a few things happened" Amorpho decided to avoid the topic "but I feel better now and I'm ready for some drama"
"That's amazing, dude" the boy smiled offering his hand "I'm Michael by the way, is nice to finally meet you"
"Nice to meet you Michael" Amorpho shook the offered hand "my name is A-Danny"
"A-Danny?" Michael raised an eyebrow.
"I had a change recently" Amorpho shrugged “I'm still trying to get used to it”
"Oh, I understand mate" Michael nodded "that's great and completely understandable, some things need to be changed"
"Well said, I like to morph if it makes me feel better." Amorpho smiled, Michael seemed genuinely nice.
"I couldn't have put it better" Michael stated "now come on, I think drama club sign-ups start in a few minutes"
With that said, the boy and the ghost headed towards the club, one completely excited to finally do what he loved, and the other quite happy with what seemed to be a new friend.
And well, at the end of the day it looked like Danny had joined two new clubs and was fast becoming what seemed to be the best drama student the recruiters had ever found, on his way to being a protagonist; too bad the real Danny had no idea the attention his supposed counterpart was gaining.
—----------
Danny followed Jason into the kitchen, it's not like he could leave him alone while the effects of the gas were in his system anyway. Although he was worried that Jason would notice his fangs, hiding them quickly became uncomfortable and he felt the sudden urge to bite down on something.
"Danny, are you alright?" Jay asked a little worried when he saw the boy distracted again, he gently caressed the hand located on his wrist in an attempt to get the other's attention.
"Yeah, sorry" Danny decided he was going to let things happen naturally "weren't we about to rate your excellent five stars food?"
"I'm surprised you remember," Jason sneered, though he was distracted when he noticed Dog watching him from the living room "I didn't forget about you, girl."
Dog simply barked, debating whether to approach her owner and the stranger who currently seems to be holding his hand. He didn't feel aggressive towards her but something wasn't exactly right either.
"She's so cute" Danny smiled looking at the pitbull peeking out from the living room "Am I scaring her?"
"Something like that, it's a bit weird actually, but I'm not surprised she's hiding" Jason stated, Dog was rescued from a center that organized illegal fights so it wasn't surprising that she was suspicious of strangers, what was strange was that she approached more quickly than expected.
"Oh, maybe she sensed Cujo" the halfa commented nonchalantly.
"Cujo?" Jason raised an eyebrow at the boy.
"Yeah, he's my puppy," Danny smiled, happy to be able to talk about his puppy with someone else. Although calling Cujo a cub was still in doubt, considering that he could change the size of him to suit him.
So, technically Cujo wasn't a cub anymore, given his giant form which made him look much older, but at the time of death he was, and as far as Danny could assume he had never really given up his attitude as a cub. 
Whatever the case, he would always be Danny's pup, and Danny was fine with that. The day Cujo randomly decided to adopt him was one of the best memories he had.
"Oh, I wouldn't have guessed," the vigilante hummed.
"Yeah, I don't usually talk about him much because it's a bit of a reverse adoption case, you know?" Danny smiled "I didn't adopt Cujo, he adopted me and then he wouldn't let me go, he was actually a bit of a stray, I'm not sure why he decided to stay with me"
"You're interesting enough," Jason said happily, he could see why Danny would attract a dog, considering the crow he'd seen last night.
"By the way, where's your crow?" Jason questioned as he went over to give Dog some food, she was wagging her tail excitedly, completely ignoring Danny who had stuck to him like a barnacle.
"Poe? He is not technically my crow" Danny sighed "My roommate found him yesterday and he just started following me."
"That's amazing, he seemed pretty attached to you." Jason raised an eyebrow doubtfully.
"But he is not mine, I'm sure he decided I'm not interesting enough anymore or something, you won't see him anytime soon" the halfa shrugged.
At that precise moment, a small crow flew into the room and happily landed on Danny's head, the halfa in question looked at him with a blank expression.
"You really love to contradict me" he affirmed seeing the small bird singing on his head.
"Oh look, looks like it wasn't such a long time after all" Jason snorted, Dog seemed to have decided to ignore the situation in question as she quickly ate what her handler had given her.
"Love! Love!" The crow affirmed moving his wings, he really loved the sound of the word.
"No, Poe, Danny, my name is Danny," the halfa tried to correct him, ignoring the stare Jason was giving him.
"Twinkcito!"  Poe corrected his supposed mistake, although it was obvious that he was making fun of the boy, he was smart enough to understand the reactions that his words caused and repeat them based on it.
"I give up" Danny muttered in frustration.
"He's not wrong" Jason said considering, "you really do have the complexion for it"
"Please don't encourage him" Danny begged.
"I'm not encouraging him, I'm just saying that if we take into account your complexion and the definition of the word, it just fits." Jason shrugged.
"Just go make the food already" Danny gave up on trying to reason with him, it was better to remind him of what he was supposed to be doing to distract him from the subject.
"Fine, fine, but since my hands are still trapped you're going to have to be my helper," Jason stated, heading into the kitchen.
"I don't know if you remember correctly Jay, but I made a massacre with the potatoes and carrots last time" the halfa said, a bit embarrassed.
"Of course I remember" that had been one of the most adorable expressions he had ever seen "But at that moment I had to guide everyone, now all my attention is on you"
Danny was suddenly nervous about having Jason's attention on him, he'd been tremendously proud to pull off an edible meal last time but he was afraid he wouldn't be able to pull it off again.
"There's no need to be nervous, Doll" Jason assured him "I'll walk you through every step of the way, okay?"
"Okay, I can do it" Danny said out loud, in an attempt to give himself courage, it seemed that he really needed it that day.
"Kar, Kar!" Poe flapped his wings happily from his place on the boy's head.
"Thanks, Buddy." Danny smiled at the crow who had apparently decided to stick to him like a duckling.
"Well, I guess we also have to make sure your partner doesn't eat the ingredients" Jason muttered, looking at the crow.
Poe for his part yelled "Kar" at him, sounding completely offended, Jason simply conceded defeat, doubting they'd be able to get rid of him anytime soon.
"Well, are you ready to try the best meal of your life that definitely isn't made by a french rat?" Jason asked smiling.
"Yes, although I'm still doubting that you don't have one hidden in your hair, I think you have enough space" The halfa shrugged.
"Oh shut up and combine the ingredients I'm going to tell you, you're on duty to mix the batter and I'm going to make sure you taste some good pancakes today" Jason said.
"Mix? Aren't you going to use the batter on the box?" Danny asked curiously, the times Jazz had cooked for him she had used pre-made things, probably because it was easier.
"Of course not, you're going to have a real pancake experience, not whatever you've been eating up until now," Jason stated, although the boxed food tasted ok it was nowhere near the real thing made from scratch.
Jason didn't know it when he was a kid because Catherine didn't have the money for it, but most of his meals were simple, quick, or easy to prepare, he was mostly grateful to have something to eat if he was being honest.
But when Alfred patiently showed him how to cook, he began to enjoy it, to understand the difference between the two types of food and to enjoy the feeling of others tasting his creations, to the point that he ended up becoming an expert at it. He was tremendously proud to be one of the few who wasn't banned from the kitchen in the mansion.
He was glad to be the person to teach Danny that difference, when he saw the proud expression the boy was making for preparing something fairly edible he didn't think much of it at first sight, considering it mostly adorable.
But after thinking about it for a while he realized that maybe Danny just didn't know what it was like to cook your own food, that he'd had a time only eating fast or easy food, that no one had ever given him a full meal.
Jazz tried, but she didn't really know how to cook either, Maddie hadn't taught her. She tried with online tutorials but in the end she ended up mostly with fast or simple food for both of them.
Honestly, the conversation with the Alley Kids just confirmed his suspicions, usually people who eat well don't forget from one moment to another that they should eat, unless they're not really used to it.
So he was quite happy to say that Danny was a good helper in the kitchen, checking him every five minutes for a sign if he was doing it right or wrong, asking if he had any questions about anything in the process, and not afraid to ask for help.
"Jay, I don't know if I can do this" the boy in question complained looking at some strawberries that Jason had asked him to cut a few minutes ago.
"Do you want me to guide you on it?" Jason questioned happily, he always felt better while cooking.
"Can you do that? Wouldn't that be too much of a problem, all things considered?" Danny asked curiously, pointing to their hands that were still clasped.
"Not really" he said "but it can be a bit uncomfortable in this position"
Since Jason had managed to switch the "affected hand" from right to left when starting to cook (checking that Danny hadn't had any problems, of course) the process had been much easier.
Well, thankfully neither of them was doing badly working with their hands trapped, so he was easily able to point Danny to the correct method of cutting through the fruit without massacring it. Although the boy seemed very distracted during the process.
"The pancakes will be ready in a few minutes, I'd tell you to go sit in the dining room but, you know," Jason vaguely gestured at their connected hands.
"Don't worry, I don't mind waiting" the halfa told him nonchalantly, watching Jason cook was becoming one of his favorite activities after all. He gave off a completely different feeling than usual, he looked more relaxed and happy in general.
When they were finally able to move to the dining room table, each one of them had a plate of pancakes, Danny decorated them with strawberries and whipped cream while Jason settled with a simpler version of fruit and honey.
"Well? Are you going to try it?" Jason asked curiously and somewhat expectantly as he noticed Danny staring at his plate.
"It's just that they look so cute, I don't want to destroy them" Danny looked at Jason sadly, eating them felt like a crime.
"I'll make you others later" Jason shook his head in amusement "but you have to eat those first"
Eventually Danny worked up the courage to eat his pancakes. Jason freaked out the moment he saw his eyes watering.
"They're good" Danny made sure to affirm quickly wiping away the tears that were forming in his eyes after he saw how much he was worrying Jason, who seemed torn between paying attention and looking for ways to comfort him "very, very good"
It reminded him of the time Jazz made him his first meal, or when Lunch Lady scolded him and gave him a homemade sandwich, but somehow this felt better than both times.
How was it possible?
"It's okay, Danny," Jason gently stroked the hand that had returned to hold his arm as soon as they left the kitchen, "you're okay now."
Whether he was referring to the food or something completely different, no one could tell.
—------------
By the time they both finished their food, Danny was happily satisfied and strangely full. The moment he looked away from his plate he noticed something peculiar inside one of the rooms.
He approached the object curiously, practically dragging Jason with him into the room in question.
"Isn't that Red Hood's jacket?" Danny asked curiously looking at the clothes organized on the walls.
Jason cursed himself as he thought of something to say, maybe if he chose not to answer Danny would ignore it. He had been distracted by the matter of food and completely forgot that many of his things were in the house.
"And those are his combat boots" the halfa said excitedly, Danny perked up as he started pointing to different objects in the room. The weapons were obviously Hood's "There's only one explanation for this"
Jason tried to think of an excuse but he couldn't think of one, he assumed that was it, that was the end of his secret identity "Danny, the truth is that I am-"
"You live with Red Hood right?" Danny looked at him, trying to confirm his suspicions and the rumors of the Alley kids. 
"-living with Hood, certainly," Jason agreed. Not knowing the trouble he was getting himself into with those four words.
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Annd tag time, I'm not going to lie it feels pretty weird to have this chapter so early but the sprints are really magical. This chapter was going to be even longer but I preferred to shorten it and include the rest as ideas for the next one. I hope you liked it!
In this case I have to clarify that Danny never broke contact with Jason during the whole chapter, when he said that he was his anchor he was being both figurative and literal. In general, being able to feel his heartbeat was calming him down a lot.
And the reason why Jason's food felt different is because it was 100% human, what Lunch Lady gives is usually fine, but the ectoplasm adds something weird to it as an extra, so yes, Jason was technically the first to cook him food from scratch
Sorry if you saw the first one, I kinda uploaded by accident haha
@skulld3mort-1fan@sorryiwonnoob@idfk-man10@avelnfear@criticaloverthinker@confusedandghostly @lunadoll36 @spidey29phangirl @suppengott @yjfk@apointlessbox@mimilikey@thegatorsgoose@jaggedheart11@dyinggirldied@pyramaniac@akikkobara@thedragonqueen1998@lostlightandfoundcrazy@xye-chan@saltyladynightmare @ashleysmshly @thewondersoflebanon@illusionwolfwriter24r8@littlefeather345@asphyxia778@amercurio@leftmiraclechaos @dixiwoods @satoshy12@lyra689@meira-3919@quietlyscared@plotwholls @kyrianclawraith @blacksea21090@basilf1res @flowers-n-fauna @8-29pm@phantom-dc@luer-mirin@taniaundertaleau@cloriform@readerkayden@oddlydrawnpuppets@basementloser@little-green-asparagus@echoednonny@yummy-yummy-mmmbones@confusionchaos@ectoplasm024@autumnwulf@666deaddash999@redhoneysugarorange@blue-avis@sailor-goddess@satanicrutialspecialist
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musicalbracket · 7 months
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Round 3
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littlefankingdom · 2 months
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Jason Todd's civil outfits in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011) are killing me. He dress like the nerdy son of the richest man in town 😭
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At the end of the day, he is still a brat escaping jail time because daddy is a powerful man.
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sardonic-sprite · 5 months
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I should be sleeping BUT
Crack fic where theater kid jason todd is kidnapped and is rescued not by the bats, not by the gcpd, but by the fucking prop committee lead who used her unholy powers to track down the ornate knife that was stolen from the props table after the show, she doesn't CARE if he took it to defend his life, asshole, ITS HIS FUCKING LIFE IN PAYMENT FOR TOUCHING - A DAMN - PROP - THAT - WAS -NOT -HIS!
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superherospinoff · 1 year
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au where jason comes back normaler and just decides to go live his life and bruce doesn't find out about it until one day the joker dies from natural causes and he gets this in the mail with jason's fingerprints on it
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[Image ID: A photo of a rack of cards for various occasions. Under the label “sympathy loss of loved one”, there is a card with brightly-colored balloons that reads “The countdown’s over-- YAY!”]
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literallyrave · 2 months
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out of all the batboys who do you think would be a theater kid?
I genuinely believe Jason would be a theater kid to the point he would memorize every prop set up. He def likes Dear Evan Hansen and Hamilton
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