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palmett-hoes · 3 years

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what's your take on the foxes mbti?

oh buddy ur never gonna believe this but i wrote a foxes MBTI post YEARS ago

im also not into mbti anymore and haven't been for many years so that post is probably still more accurate and in-depth than what i could give you now. i’m just gonna copy the whole thing but i read it over and it still totally vibes w how i understand the characters, like way more than i was expecting it to. i only made one edit (it’s marked) and it was to add a detail not change anything

i hope you’re really really into mbti otherwise this’ll probably be gobbeldegook

i used to be obessively into mbti so here’s an analysis based on cognitive functions mostly.

SKIP IF YOU WANT. for anyone with no idea how it works, here’s a quick rundown: cognitive functions are about the way people think, process, and prioritize information, not necessarily how they act, though people who think the same way often act the same. the 8 letters that make up a type represent how people process and prioritize internal and external stimuli. every letter actually has an ‘internal’ and 'external’ form so there’s Thinking (internal(ti) and external(te)), Feeling (internal(fi) and external(fe)), Sensing (internal(si) and external(se)), and iNtuition(internal(ni) and external(ne)) t’s always go with a corresponding and opposite f (like ti and fe always go together), same with s’s and n’s (ex: si and ne always go together). a set of t, f, s, and n in a specific order makes an mbti type.

neil: intp (ti ne si fe)

neil has incredible analytical ability although it’s very programmed for survival but he’s also a fast thinker and very quick to adapt to new environments. he also approaches things from original angles that other people dont consider, all that sounds like high ti/ne. the lower functions fit well too. in times of stress, he returns to old habits and falls back on what’s familiar, that’s classic low si. his emotions are also very exterior. he’s bad with other people from lack of exposure, but he’s committed to harmony between those close to him and has an impeccable ability to read the emotional states of others while being completely oblivious of his own, and his sense of self is tied to exterior things like exy, friends, keys, and legal documents (lol) that’s fe

andrew: intj (ni te fi se)

ni is really hard to describe but it has to do with being able to draw conclusions from scattered input, which fits with andrew’s uncanny ability to spot lies and obsession with finding out the truth, especially with high te, which is about spatial order and logic, think of how prioritized he is with the physical order of things: who sits where, who wears what, etc. a lot of people want to make andrew infj i bet as like a “subversive reading” but he’s definitely not. i used to be really close to an infj and they have hyper-empathy, as in she would describe not just caring about other people and being able to read their emotional states but literally feeling the things the people around her felt. this is a common result of the ni/fe combo, and the reason why andrew is definitely not infj. tertiary fi fits very well instead because andrew is deeply attuned to his own inner emotional state. he’s self-confident and doesn’t care about other people’s perception of him, but he’s also very concerned with his own feelings and understanding them, even if they’re repressed. he’s also very aware of his physical surroundings, which plays into his deductive ability, although it’s not his focus. that’s low se

kevin: estj (te si ne fi)

kevin is a classic estj. he’s controlling, demanding, and driven. he tries to control the actions of those around him and gets very distressed when things dont run smoothly, as well as having strong feelings about improving efficiency. high te people make great managers. kevin’s whole story arc is about breaking old habits, which is a very si problem. it has to do with trusting and craving memory and familiarity, and explains kevins need for endless repetition. he’s innovative, though, coming up with new strategies and drills (ne), it’s just based on what’s already familiar, and you can see him spiral into creating all possible worst-case scenarios when he’s stressed (low ne stress reaction, they like to be prepared). finally, he’s a dick, but he cares about other people and wants to improve their lives, as well as being very reliant on other people’s perceptions of him to define his own self-image (low fe)

dan: esfj (fe si ne ti)

dan’s top priority, over everything else, is her team. she wants her team to improve, she wants her team to win, she wants her team to work together. it’s all about the collective. we also see that she’s very open with others and makes a lot of effort to both make new ties and maintain old ones, that’s high fe. she’s sentimental and attached to the past too (si) esp the photo wall, but we also see her very unwilling to let go of the past ie the monsters but eventually willing to change and grow to mend team cohesion (ne). we also see the fight in underlying logic (low ti) with her: she knows the team needs the monsters to cooperate but she cant figure out how to do it

matt: enfj (fe ni se ti)

so enfj’s experience infj hyper-empathy too, but to a slightly lesser extent (primary fe is more group cohesion, secondary fe is more understanding others), and through this we see matt’s easy-going open friendliness and ability to befriend even prickly little neil, because he has an extremely good sense of what other people are feeling and need, it also explains why he doesn’t hold a grudge against the cousins in the same way dan does, because he understands where they were coming from. se is associated with a general boisterousness for life, as it’s about experiencing the world around you, which explains matt’s happy-go-lucky disposition and puppydog behavior. the ti aspects mostly go into supporting fe/ni empathic senses

allison: entj (te ni se fi)

i mean, allison’s controlling, both in that she orders other people around and in that her physical being and space are very planned and organized (her clothes, her hair, her makeup, etc) but at the same time there isn’t much sentimentality to her, like how she doesn’t care when her car was destroyed. she easily replaces things because she cares about the object’s purpose, not its history and that all smacks of high te/ni. and i mean, the se definitely contributes to her love of designer things and killer looks, because she cares about the world immediately around her, and why live if not in luxury? and fi? is there any character more aggressively self-confident than allison reynolds?? going against her parents’ wishes for her takes a really strong, independent sense of self, but we also see the problems that can come from not worrying about other people, in how she starts fights and can be abrasive and catty

renee: infp (fi ne si te)

okay this one was really hard tbh. a list of other considerations: isfp, istp, and infj. it’s very easy to read renee as high fe because she’s kind, but i think it’s a mischaracteration of why she’s kind. it’s not because it comes naturally to her, it’s because it’s a conscious choice that makes her feel better about herself. high fi people often read as fe because they’re so comfortable with themselves and in tune with their own needs that they can then go and provide for others. i associate her religion with ne, because contemplation and acceptance of the divine later in life is a very metaphysical undertaking that undoubtedly requires a lot of abstract thought. renee’s storyline also revolves a lot around using things from her past and putting a conscious effort into leaving things from her past behind (how she still uses the skills she learned from her past in new ways ie sparring with andrew and protecting the upperclassmen v/s how she held on to her knives even when she knew it was detrimental to her moving on) this sounds like si. her protective instincts also feed into the te need for order, but it’s a looser leash than say andrew, as it’s lower on her function stack but still present

nicky: esfp (se fi te ni)

godd nicky is like a prototypical esfp. i mean nicholas “sex, drugs, and parties” hemmick cant be anything but se dominant. nicky is all about living it up and living in the moment. like he’s sporadic and ive seen it lead people to think he could be enfp but he doesn’t think enough about the meaning of things to be ne dominant (like how he makes somewhat predatory jokes and such, he’s all about the here-and-now while ne is about the past and future simultaneously). also he of all characters has incredibly prominent fi, as his whole character is about living unashamedly as himself as a gay man and the immense self-awareness and inner strength it takes not only to come out to unaccepting parents but also to leave and start a new life when they rejected him. however, fi is also indicative of his communication problems with his family, as he’s unable to tell that the cousins are fundamentally different from him in their needs and boundaries, leading him to pushing them, making them uncomfortable, and being unable to help them, because he’s unable to understand them. the rest are much more hidden, but a party boy shopaholic like nicky would probably need some amount of te order in like an organized chaos fashion (and he’s often headcanoned as liking to throw parties) and you do see him become somewhat pushy, even controlling in those scenarios. ni is the hardest but could maybe be seen in how he’s attuned to the cousins reactions for all that he cant predict them/doesn’t do anything on his own part to prevent them (the way he handles andrew is like if someone poked a rattlesnake knowing damn well what it would do and then freaked out when he got bit)

aaron: istj (si te fi ne)

im a little iffy on this one and worry it might be an analysis based on his trauma instead of complimentary to it, but aaron’s arc is about breaking out of his habit of holding on to the past. he refuses to work towards moving on from his mother’s death, refuses to listen to things that contradict his preconceived notions, and refuses to make changes in his life that could improve it. that’s unhealthy si. he’s really a very unhealthy istj, and most of his traits manifest through his unhappiness with his life. take his te. that would imply that he needs control over his surroundings, but aaron is incredibly bitter and unhappy BECAUSE he doesn’t have control of his surroundings. he doesn’t get to make his own choices, he doesn’t get to control his space, and he hates it. his relationship with katelyn is also indicative of being an istj. it’s stable, not a passionate fling, but aaron is mocked for wanting that white picket fence, married with kids in the suburbs kind of life, and his relationship, which is his primary source of happiness, is built on stability, which is a very si thing to do. in terms of fi, it is aaron that ultimately forces change between himself and andrew. he may have been pushed but he ultimately came down to him knowing what made him happy and what made him miserable and acting on that. also, he’s an ornery asshole who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of him. fi. i dont really have anything to say in terms of ne, probably because he’s so unhealthy but also because he’s not too explored. heyy istj’s make great doctors

wymack: isfj (si fe ti ne)

okay this one was genuinely the hardest to decide on but ultimately i came to the conclusion that wymack, much like renee, is such a developed person that he loses many defining traits of the functions, and can be read in many different ways. so: wymack’s primary goal is the safety and betterment of other people (ie his team). he wants to help people overcome their pasts, which is a very atypical approach to si, but is si nonetheless. on a personal level, too, he’s never able to move on from people, and specifically never moved on from kayleigh, continuing their shared dream of an exy team for abused kids long after her death. as ive said before, fe in a secondary position is about deep understanding of other people, and wymack’s ability to understand what other people are struggling through is legendary. the ti mostly serves as support to the fe, serving as the analytical backup in allowing him to understand others. as for ne: he is most definitely an innovator with unusual ideas, or the foxes wouldn’t exist

riko: estp (se ti fe ni)

riko is basically what happens when an estp goes bad down to the core. he’s obsessed with personal glory and immediate self-fulfillment (se) he has no impulse control or fear of consequences. interestingly, high se is often associated with athleticism, because high se people are intensly focused on their surroundings (exy). his ti is also super unhealthy as he gets obsessed with ideas that dont really work with objective reality, like his obsession with ownership and power dynamics despite them not actually being efficient, even backwards. the tertiary fe he uses to manipulate. he doesn’t empathize with others, but he can tell their emotional state and what’s important to them, and uses it to coerce them and destroy their sense of self, like how he knew he could get neil to the nest by threatening andrew. EDIT: /additionally, fe people especially in the lower half of the function stack tend to derive their sense of self from the perceptions of others around them, which riko very much shows in how he needs to be acknowledged as the best and won’t allow any competition for his title, as well as his desperation for acknowledgement from his family/. finally, that ni allowed him to keep multiple plans in place focused on one ultimate goal: getting kevin back. the sheer amount of schemes he sets up in order to fool and push people the way he wants is honestly kinda impressive, but he’s a toxic shithead and im glad he’s rotting. definitely not representative of all estp’s

this is honestly SO funny to read back a few years later bc HOOOOO boy was i way too into this stuff. and this was written a couple years after my Peak MBTI Obsession, which was honestly scary

#txt #the foxes #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #wymack #riko moriyama #my posts #im talkin #ask #anon #anonymous

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angelruel · 4 years

Text

vintage pt.2

summary: the reader gets into an accident which causes her to lose her memory. as Ruel begins to rebuild their relationship and recall the good memories between them, some bad ones are restored as well and might threaten their future.

masterlist

Word Count: 4.4 k (kind of long, oops)

“Soooo what’s my favorite color?”

“Easy. Blue,” he retorted while reaching over to fill in a space on the tic tac toe board that Y/N had drawn on her empty lap desk. He was the x’s and she played the o’s. It was a bit difficult for Ruel to pretend to not know all of her tricks she played in this game, but he was a very convincing loser. She had also taken the opportunity of his return to test him on some trivia of her personal likes and dislikes.

“Okay, here’s a good one,” she said as she filled the left hand corner on the board with a perfect circle. Ruel learned a long time ago that her strategy was to fill two corners and the center spot of the board in order to have an upper hand on winning. He watched her play the same way over again. Ruel admired her predictability and he almost felt confident enough that her tic tac toe skills returning would somehow correlate to her feelings for him to return as well.

“Well finally a good one. Lay it on me.” He gave her his signature soft smile that he always grants her when he’s being his sweetest version of a boyfriend.

“What’s my favorite song? Or, at least one of my favorite songs.”

Ruel scrunches up his nose in thought, “hmmm. I’m gonna need a little more context, bub.”

“Okay so maybe my favorite song I like to hear on a road trip. Something that gets me energized.” Ruel found it funny that she was reaching for more and more clues to jog her memory. They both knew that couldn’t she remember the last road trip she’d been on, or any of them for that matter. He was proud that she was at least in a more positive mood about not remembering things.

“Wait a Minute! by Willow Smith. There’s one.”

Y/N’s happy expression dropped to a confused one.

“Huh? I don’t listen to Willow Smith.”

They both just sat there for a while. There was still an apparent wall that Y/N had built up to secure herself from being hurt by Ruel since she barely knew him.

But the truth was that she barely knew herself.

“Well, I guess I did listen to her music,” she dropped her head down. “I guess I just can’t remember it.”

Ruel used the sleeve of his sweater to wipe off the marker drawings on Y/N’s desk tray so that he could lean over it to hold her hands.

“Hey, how about we do something else? I brought back some stuff like you asked me for.” She looked up and gave him a soft smile when he let go of her hands to grab a blue shoebox from the floor.

“Oh, you brought gifts! Yay!” she exclaimed while clapping her dainty hands over and over. He sat the box in front of her lap on the hospital tray and she stared at it for a minute. One of the things she did remember was that blue was her favorite color. And after having a few conversations with Ruel, she discovered that his was brown. So, she assumed that the color of the box was a little nod to her. She thought that was really sweet.

“You can go ahead,” he encouraged her. “If you have any questions, just ask.”

She hesitated to lift the flimsy lid from the top. Partly because she was afraid that seeing the contents wouldn’t help jog her memories at all, and also because she was still pretty weak from the constant dosage of pain meds she’d grown accustomed to.

The first things to come out of the box were some polaroids and a bunch of little papers she grabbed that were grouped together. One of the polaroids showed a group photo in front of a campfire with little writing at the bottom that said ‘new years 2020.’ There were some post-it notes with little messages written on them in pencil. They were fading but Y/N could still make out what they said. It was a girl’s handwriting, and there was a little drawing of a pond? Or maybe a lake.

i drew you a pond since you wanna act like a silly goose all the time. bitch.

-y/n

There was another one filled with words instead of a cute drawing, and she assumed this one was a serious matter.

hi, love. i left to go watch the sunrise with coco around 4 am-ish. you probably would’ve wanted to join us, but you look so peaceful when you’re sleeping. and coco said that you’ve been smothering me lately and encouraged me to sneak out. anyways, i’ll probably be back before you see this, but just in case i’m not, don’t call the cops. okay that’s all. in case i never return, i love you.

-y/n (under the heavy influence of stella)

Ruel chimed in to explain. “Yeah, you used to leave me little notes like that sometimes instead of texting like a normal person.”

“And you kept them?”

“Of course I did. I’m not a monster.” He joked and she playfully hit his chest with the stack of notes. Ruel scooted his chair closer to the side of Y/N’s bed and leaned in. “Lets see what else we got in here.”

There were movie tickets, receipts from restaurants, and even old wristbands from festivals.

“Is this what you meant when you said I grow attached to material things?” She laughed on the outside but in reality, Y/N was so infatuated in the idea that a boy would keep a box of things that reminded him of her and their relationship.

“Ha yeah, I guess it kind of rubbed off on me after a while.” Ruel reached his hand into the box as well and pulled out a little beaded bracelet. It had a simple pattern of ocean blue and brown wooden beads. He played with it in between his fingers.

“I remember this. Your cousin made it for us when you brought me to Thanksgiving. She kept running back and forth asking us what our favorite colors were. It was so cute. And she said we had to share it,” he reminisced.

He gave her the bracelet which she carefully placed on the wrist that wasn’t connected to an IV. There were mostly pictures in the box. Pictures of Y/N and Ruel in different settings: kissing, posing next to venue signs with his name on it, cooking, etc. She picked up one of the pictures and examined it carefully.

“I remember this,” she said in a nonchalant matter. Ruel looked up at her, then back at the picture in her hand.

“You do?”

“Yeah, I remember that whole trip. That was a fun trip. Hmm.” She hummed to herself in bliss with a grin on her face.

“Tell me about it,” he grinned back at her. “What do you remember?” She looked down for a while. It was almost like the times they spent together were in secret, and too precious to share with anyone else. She felt a deep connection to someone-whoever it was to make her feel such strong emotions in just the echos of the times they spent together. Y/N began longing for the person who made her experience this type of fondness. The person she was looking for was right in front of her. Why was she holding back?

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“Okay, how do I say this,” Y/N’s hand snaked up to her head to rake through her hair as she paced in deep thought. She took in a deep breath and turned around to look at him sitting in the hospital chair across the room.

“I-I want this to be special. I mean, you’ve been so patient and considerate with me. You haven’t tried to rush me into anything at all. But I see the way you look when you think I’m not paying attention. You’re hurting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to finally give in. Well not, finally give in, but. You know, you know what I’m trying to say right?” She used every ounce of energy she had to walk across the room to face him. She picked him up and brought his face close to hers.

“I’m trying to tell you that I love you,” she whispered and smiled softly. Before she could say anything else, Y/N heard the doorknob rattle in desperation to open it.

She quickly threw the teddy bear back into the chair and tried to pretend that she was doing anything else.

Ruel leaned into the door frame and struggled to keep his balance as he carried a Taco Bell bag and two drinks in his hands.

“Oh, let me help you with that,” Y/N rushed over to him to grab the drinks and his eyes grew in shock.

“Well, it’s nice to see you up and moving so much. The doctor was right, you really have been getting stronger every day.” Y/N smiled up at him with pride as they both settled the food onto her desk. “So, have you heard anything yet?”

“Anything about what,” Y/N mumbled in between taking bites of her soft taco. She knew exactly what he was referring to, though.

“Oh, you know. Like when are you gonna get out of this place? I mean, with the way you’re up and walking now,” he brought his free hand up to rest on the back of her neck as he examined her face with concerned eyes. “It’s been, what, four weeks now? They said four to six weeks, but by the looks of it, you’re healing up really well. You’ve done so good lately.”

She mouthed ‘thank you’ and gave him another wide smile. Y/N was happy that he was proud of her progress. He played a big part of her growth, though. Through the discomfort and the multiple procedures she had to undergo, Ruel was always there at the side of her bed to rely on. Whether she was up at 4 am crying because she couldn’t remember the names of her dogs or freaking out in excitement after being able to stand up on her own, he was there for it all.

And as her strength developed each day, so did her trust and love for him. She assumed that it wasn’t the same as their previous relationship, but it was more than enough to keep them happy. He would always tell her that he loved her, but she didn’t say it back. He told her it was fine, that he knew she didn’t really know who he was and he wouldn’t hold it against her. But in return, he needed for her to accept that he still loved her as much as he did before the accident and to be okay with him loving her even if it meant that she couldn’t love him equally back for a while.

But after spending so much time with him, Ruel was hardly a stranger to Y/N anymore. He was a friend, a very understanding and attractive friend. She couldn’t ignore the burning sensation she felt deep in her stomach when he would cuddle up close to her on the bed during their movie nights. She couldn’t ignore the desire or the comfort she felt for him any time that he was around (which was very often because Ruel was always around). He told her that he would wait for her, that she should take her time to decide if she wanted to continue their relationship whenever she was ready. He told her that she’d just gone through a major trauma and that she needed to focus on getting better. He said he would wait for her, but a part of her feared that he was only saying this to make her feel better. She feared that he had already accepted that they were just friends, that maybe he’d already began a new romance with some skinny long-haired girl in Sydney and he was just waiting for Y/N to get her strength back so that he could go home to her.

“Okay, well I have to tell you something,” she finally came out with. Ruel sat up straight in his chair to give her his full attention. His eyes were fixated on her face and his hands rested in his lap. She found herself lost in thought trying to remember what she wanted to tell him but she couldn’t focus on anything but his beauty.

“Did they already tell you whether you’re going home or not?” he laughed a little as he went to grab his drink off of the desk. “Did I miss it when I went to get lunch?” He used the side of his jeans to wipe the water that got on his hand from the cup. His huge hand. The same huge hand that he then used to move the long strands of hair out of his face. He’d previously told her that she did not like the long hair look on him and always encouraged him to get haircuts and shave. In the moment, Y/N couldn’t figure out why the hell anyone would ever encourage him to change his appearance when he looked like that. The long hair and mustache gave him a much more mature look in comparison to the old pictures and videos she would look at of him. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want to cut the hair that she so desperately wanted to run her fingers through. She quickly snapped out of it and shut her eyes so she couldn’t look at the beautiful boy in front of her.

“I really do have to tell you something,” she started and stopped because she was nervous. With her eyes still closed, she felt Ruel’s hand grab hers.

“What’s going on, why are you acting so weird?” he let out a nervous laugh and Y/N realized that he was probably feeling the same anxiety as her in the moment. She knew that someone had to be the confident one in this scenario, and she decided that it would be her. She took one last deep breath and let go of it.

“Do you remember what I told you when I first told you I loved you?”

“Yes,” he laughed again, “Do you want me to tell you the story again?” She nodded quickly in a child-like manner and looked at him in adoration.

“It was a little after a month of us dating and I’d just taken you home after we went out driving and just hanging out. I was almost back in the car when I saw you run out of the house, barefoot, yelling at me to wait.” Y/N laughed a little and felt the tension between the two of them begin to melt away.

“And then what did I do?”

“You went into this whole speech about how you felt and how you were very scared to be vulnerable because you were afraid of being hurt. And then you said something that I’d never forget,” he looked up at the ceiling as if the answers were written on the tiles, “you told me that the fear you felt only grew as you fell more in love with me. You said you thought that it would never go away, but you didn’t want it to stop you from embracing the happiness you felt when you were with me. And then you told me you loved me, and that you were scared of me. You said that I made you wanna jump into the fear rather than run away from it. You said you knew that you loved me as soon as you felt scared. Because you knew you had found something worth cherishing. And if it ever went away, you didn’t think you’d survive it.” He looked down. After saying all of that, it still seemed like there was something he was missing. He looked as if he didn’t manage to not break her heart. He was scared too.

“Ruel?” Y/N let her hands relax and gripped onto his tighter.

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.” She began to fiddle with his long digits and almost felt hesitation to do anything next.

“What are you afraid of-” he began, but was interrupted by the connection of her lips onto his. He freed his hand and rose it up to the back of her neck so he could deepen the kiss. They kissed again, and again. They kissed until their faces were red and she broke away for a moment to catch her breath. She smiled at him and he looked back at her in disbelief.

“I love you. I really do, Ruel. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long but I don’t want to be just friends. I want you in my life like you used to be,” her eyes dropped to her lap and her expression changed, “before everything got so fucked up.”

He grabbed her face again and began to pepper it with kisses. At this point, Ruel was halfway onto her bed. She brought up her dainty hands to cup his face and she gently pulled away again. Ruel hitched a rushed breath out as he pouted in confusion as to why she pulled away.

“Oh yeah, I’m going home today.” She smiled with her teeth and he laughed in pure bliss before grabbing her face again.

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The boxes piled in the middle of the living room all started to disappear one by one. Y/N watched in awe as Ruel picked up every box and placed it in its proper area. Her legs swung back and forth in boredom while she waited on top of the kitchen counter where Ruel had placed her since she refused to wear shoes on the trip to her apartment.

“You’re such a good slave,” she told him in a sweet tone as her eyes followed him across the area. He shook his head, barely giving her an ounce of the attention she practically begged for, and continued moving things around.

“Honey are you sure you’re gonna be okay on your own like this? You can stay back home a little longer if you’d like,” Y/N’s mother remarked. She looked at her daughter with concern.

“I’m not alone, I have Ruel. And besides, I’ve already left the nest once before. I should be fine.”

“Well I guess I’ll be on my way home now. Call me if you need anything. Anything.” Y/N pecked a kiss on her cheek and guided her mom outside.

By the time she got back into the apartment, the living room was clear of boxes and she moved down the hall in search of her boyfriend. She found Ruel in her bedroom on the edge of the bed hunched over his phone.

“What’s so interesting?” She sat down beside him and rested her chin on his shoulder. Once she realized what he was watching, she pulled out one of his airpods so she could listen in. It was from her Youtube channel she started a few months ago. She had faint memories of vlogging herself doing normal things like grocery shopping or going to her brother’s football games. She’d only looked at a few of her storytime videos, including the one where she details how she met Ruel. This was a video she hadn’t seen before, though. It was of her and Ruel together in some resort. It looked like they were on vacation and he explained to her that they were in Amsterdam for some music festival and had decided to make an entire trip out of it since it was so close to their anniversary. They’d coordinated matching outfits for the first weekend and were posing in front of the bathroom mirror together like lovesick idiots.

“Damn, I’m so jealous of us.”

Ruel let out a low chuckle at her and skipped through the parts she’d recorded of his performance.

“Yeah, most people are.” He fast forwarded to a portion of the video after they returned to the hotel. Ruel was in the shower and Y/N was laying on the bed, recently showered, detailing all of the ways she was proud of her boyfriend. He laughed when she poked fun of how he forgot his own lyrics on stage.

“Well that was almost cute,” he added and locked the phone.

“Hey, it’s still pretty cute,” she laughed, “You can’t be mad at me for telling the truth, babe.”

“Babe, huh?” he questioned as he turned to face her.

“What, is that weird? Or too soon? I mean, you call me ‘bubs’ and ‘love’ all the time,” she looked down and played with the details of her jeans.

“It’s adorable. I love it. And I love you,” he reassured her as he cupped her face and pulled it in for a puffy kiss. She kissed him back, this time with more dominance. Y/N kissed Ruel like there was a pot of gold hidden somewhere in his mouth that she was determined to get.

Ruel matched her energy right away. He kissed her back and gripped the back of her neck to guide her face closer into his. They adorned each other with open mouths and full hearts. As they continued, Y/N felt the urge to go further and further with him, exploring his body and getting to know him on a more intimate level. They were so good at making out, it seemed like they’d done it a thousand times before. It felt like she was kissing a lover from a different lifetime, like she’d replayed scenarios over and over which all ended with her loving him. She couldn’t remember ever doing this with him before, but her body remembered. Everything with Ruel came with such ease. Every time he touched her body, she was overcome with euphoria and only craved more. She craved being closer to him, kissing him deeper.

“Mmm, take this off please,” she tugged on his shirt and he quickly pulled it off before resuming his actions. Y/N felt herself falling into an intoxicated state as she moaned against his mouth. He responded to her by wrapping his hand around her thigh and pulling it closer against him. They both began to move in sync with each other, both giving and taking as their bodies danced a routine they knew too well. Y/N was so distracted by Ruel that she didn’t even hear her mother walk back in through the front door. She only whined when he pulled his face away from hers.

“Why’dyoustop,” she breathed out. She was out of breath and watched him with puppy dog eyes as he stood up.

“Your mom is back,” he stated flatly. He was clearly out of breath too and he was trying to calm himself down so he could see what was going on in the front.

“...so?” she gave him a blank stare and patted on his side of the bed to join her again, “she can let herself out.”

“Don’t worry, bubs. We’ve got time,” he chuckled to himself and pulled his shirt back on over his head. Y/N sighed and jumped from her side of the bed to join Ruel in the living room.

“I’m sorry, hun. I forgot the most important box: your things from the hospital.” Y/N’s mother placed a small box on the counter and tapped the top of it lightly, “This is what you had on you when the crash happened. There’s not much in there, just the clothes you were wearing, your wallet, your phone,”

“My phone?” Her eyes perked up. So did Ruel’s. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. I bet there’s a bunch of clues in there to help jog my memory,” she picked up the box and skipped down the hallway to drop it off.

“I’m pretty sure it’s dead, so you’ll have to find a charger for it. You probably have the same kind.” Her mom gestured towards Ruel, who looked like he’d just seen a ghost. His eyes were fixated in thought, emotionless and dazed in a trance.

“Huh? Oh yeah, probably. Sure.” He snapped out of his guilty state quickly and turned to see Y/N coming back from her bedroom.

“Was that it, Mom? Cause we were just about to go out and get some food before it gets dark.” They both said goodbye and hugged Y/N’s mother. Once the door was shut behind her, Y/N grabbed Ruel’s hand with a quickness. His worries were suddenly gone as she led him down the hall.

It wasn’t long before they’d continued right where they left off. Y/N was still indulging herself in him and embracing the comfort she felt in his arms. She gripped the fabric of his shirt into her fists to deepen the kiss and felt the vibration from his mouth into hers as he let out muffled moans. With each kiss, she found herself thinking about all of the things she couldn’t wait to do with him before another thought popped into her mind and snapped her out of the daydream. She pulled away from him and turned her head towards the box.

“I’ve been wondering what was left on my phone,” she gestured to the dresser. “I need to plug it up so I can see what was going on before I lost my memory. It would be cool to see who I last talked to right before my life was ruined, right?” She laughed and began to sit up. Ruel grabbed her hand and lightly pulled it so she could come back down to him.

“I thought you wanted to do this, yeah? I mean hey, this is our first official night together alone. We can look into the phone later, right?”

Y/N nodded and laid back down next to him. “Hmmm, you’re right. This first, phone later,” she declared before connecting their lips once more. As Ruel rolled his lanky body on top of hers, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder why Ruel was so against her looking at her phone. Was there a dirty secret in there that he didn’t want her to find? She dismissed her paranoid thoughts and continued.

a/n: okay, so that’s that on that. ugh what is on that phone that he doesn’t want her to see???? i hope this makes sense, i’ve reread it so many times and it seems like crap but i’m still going to post it. thank you for the support of my page, and please send me asks with what fics you would like to see next ;)

#one ruel #oneruel #ruel #ruel fic #ruel imagine #ruel imagines #ruel one shot #writers on tumblr #ruelvandijk #ruel van dijk #ruel vincent van dijk #ruel x reader #rueledits

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same-side · 5 years

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hiiii! i just wanna say, i adore your art. second, im teaching myself to draw and while i can draw simple basics (mouths and sometimes eyes if im lucky), im still a beginner. ive watched many art videos and im still a bit confused on wtf im doing. so i just came here to ask if you had any words of wisdom for beginners? could be anything from what tablets to buy to simple mistakes to avoid. ive read some of the other posts here and have found it all extremely helpful so far! Thx for all you do!!

Hey there! Thank you so much!

I would put a read more but tumblr is broken. I’m trying to cover a lot of varied thoughts in little points, so if there’s anything you would like me to elaborate on or otherwise have questions on, feel free to shoot me an ask or dm me!

General

I think the biggest thing to remember is not to compare yourself extensively to others. A little bit of comparison is healthy... But too much will destroy your confidence, motivation, and take the fun out of art. Particularly if you are comparing yourself to someone older than you (life experience and coordination come into play here) or that has been drawing much longer (practice).

Additionally... If you’re not having fun (and you’re not getting paid to do it), don’t force yourself. If you find yourself being frustrated or bored with art, don’t force yourself to do it. That’s how you burn out and get art block! This applies to parts of a peice, too! If you don’t feel like drawing a face or a hand today? don’t force yourself to finish it. Come back to it later when you aren’t as frustrated or are getting better results. Even if its a week or a month from now. Honestly, at any given time I have probably ten headless bodies in my drafts. That’s okay! I just come back to them when I’m ready to do the face. And don’t be afraid to abandon something if it doesn’t feel right!

Something that also doesn’t get said enough.... take care of your body! I never knew when I started art, but artists are supposed to do warmup sketches and stretches and muscle exercises! I didn’t do any of this, and i went through a period of a few months where I was drawing for 5ish hours every single day. I developed carpal tunnel from it! So remember to take care of yourself. Take breaks, stretch, remember to eat.

Practice

Practice!!!! Even if its just for fifteen minutes every day. Or twice a week. But if art is something you really want to get good at, you have to put in the time and effort!! You can’t expect to draw an hour per month and be on the same level as someone who draws an hour a day!

I know I say this a lot but I think the biggest thing is just reference! If you don’t know what something looks like, look at a picture of it when you draw it! To go hand in hand with that, though, don’t just copy what you see! Learn from it and apply it! So take, for example, a shoe! pay attention to the way the heel is shaped, the location of the eyelets for the laces... how large the toe is, how steep the top! While you’re at it, look at other styles of shoes as well, and compare them! See what makes it look like a boot versus a trainer! And then the next time you draw it, hopefully you’ll remember all the things you learned the first time around!

I do lots of studies that serve no purpose other than to teach me things! I use referencing/studies to learn about color theory, shapes, and anatomy in a real environment. For example, hands or fabric folds! Oftentimes I’ll do them timed (20 or 45 minutes) so that I don’t fixate on perfecting things, just on the process itself and what I can learn from it. This also helps with getting better acclimated to your software and more coordinated with what you’re doing. Repetitive learning, like with playing sports.

I’ve realized a lot of people don’t quite understand what a study is? Basically you just look at a photo and try to replicate it so that you can learn about lighting or color theory or textures or anatomy or whatnot. So here’s an example of a timed study.

Additionally, don’t avoid!! We, as humans, have a tendency to avoid things that make us uncomfortable or are difficult. But it will make you a better artist in then end. When I first started, I absolutely hated doing fabric. I felt like I wasn’t good at it. So instead of avoiding drawing clothing, I sat down and did studies and sketches of different kinds of fabric. By the end of this learning period, I became comfortable with it and grew to enjoy it. These days, I adore sketching clothes, and it’s why my pants and shirts and things tend to be detailed instead of stylized in line art. If you don’t like drawing hands because you feel like you aren’t good at it? Sit down, look at a bunch of pictures of different hands, and practice it. By the end, you’ll be more comfortable, you’ll have learned something. Even if you feel like the drawings you ended up with aren’t good, you’ll still have learned, and that’s what matters!

Style

I worked on basics before I tried to develop a style. I made sure to start with a very realistic method at first, so that I could be sure I understood how fabric folds, anatomy, and realistic expressions worked before I tried to stylize them. I think in the long run this approach really paid off for me. It also allowed me to be conscientious of what elements I was absorbing into my artwork. I hear from so many artists that they started drawing when they were younger and into anime or cartoons or things like that, and tried to emulate it. Because those styles became so ingrained into their artistic skillset, it becomes near impossible to iron out those influences and get rid of them later. So starting with realism is a way to ingrain proper anatomy and other good practice into your artwork.

One way to develop style is to take a look at the artwork of someone you admire, and try to list out the things you like form their style - perhaps the thickness of their lines, or the way they do eyes. Do this with several artists, take all those little details you like and try them out! See if you enjoy using them in your own drawing process! Think of it like a grab bag or a pick-n-mix, sprinkling in the elements you like here and there to create something new and your own - not just copying another artists style word for word.

Don’t worry too much about it though; don’t allow yourself to become anxious or fixated on “achieving a style”. Its a natural ever evolving process that comes with time and practice. I know a lot of people get hung up on style, but just take it one day at a time!

Also try to keep in mind what style you’re going for as you begin drawing. And I don’t mean that like sailor moon vs. ghibli. I mean that as in, is this piece going to be a painting, a lineart, a lined painting, cell shading...? It will help you in the longrun if you narrow down the broad kind of style you use, and refine from there.

Workflow

My workflow for paintings is very different from my workflow for lineart and cell shading. A full tutorial on how I do paintings can be found here! A process video for how I cell shade can be found here!

Everyone is going to have a different method that works for them! You just have to experiment and find out how you like to draw! For me, personally, I use color blocking for painting (see the tutorial above) and a spine method for lineart. How the spine method works is that I will draw lines that represent the legs, arms, back, etc. so that I can determine the placement, length, and composition. From there, I’ll add a dark outline that actually shows the shapes of the body. Then, I’ll use thinner lines to add details. This is the method I’ve found that works for me. Another commonly used method that I’m sure you’ve seen is representing body parts with cylinders and cubes. There are lots of good tutorials out there on breaking down bodies into shapes like this!

Something that I do is if I’m not quite happy with a part of a drawing, I don’t just erase it. I duplicate the layer so that I always have the original copy, and then I make changes from there. Sometimes I can end up with five or six different versions of the same arm or face that i’ve made minor changes to. And then I compare and pick the one I like best, or condense all the parts I like from each version to make a “best” version.

Tools

Currently I use Procreate and the standard Ipad with Apple Pencil. Prior to March I was using a Wacom Bamboo Touch and Photoshop Elements 2008. I find its harder for me to do full paintings in procreate, but its made my life a million times easier for lineart and cell shading. The pen pressure is phenomenal, and I also adore that its wireless / active screen instead of plug in like the wacom. The programme itself is intuitive and easy to get the hang of; it simply lacks a lot of the neat tricks that photoshop has, like rendering (lens flares, for example), gradients, and gradient maps. Try testing out different trials of programmes... firealpaca, photoshop, autodesk, whatever it may be! What works for me may not work for you!

#thegodbucky #asks for ts #t talks #long post #art reference

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bunny-banana · 4 years

Note

For the director's cut thing, the story where Fabri asks Ermal out on a date but Ermal doesn't realize that? 👀

YO SO WE GONNA DO THAT OR WHAT

Its this fic btw if anyones curious.

Chap 1

Even with closed eyes, he sensed the man lying next to him turn towards him but Fabrizio did not spoke immediately. No, he just stayed silent for a bit, Ermal wasn’t quite sure what he was observing but before Ermal could ask, Fabrizio broke the silence.

its u. he’s gazing at u, u idiot.

’You didn’t exactly give off the vibe that you’d say yes’

“What the fuck does that even mean? I don’t give off the vibe?!”

mr no-homo meta has NO right to be surprised at that. boy went into a panic attack every time someone as much as breathed the suggestion ofc fab was Anxious

A certain Roman showing up at his doorstep looking like he’d belong to the Milan Fashion Week.A tight grey shirt whose top three buttons almost begged to be opened (yet remained miraculously, in Fabris case, closed!) clung nicely to the body underneath it. A very fine silver chain hung around his neck that perfectly fit with the rings and the watch on his hand.Instead of ripped denim, now tight & shiny dark jeans were worn and to round this look up, an impeccably tailored black, suit jacket was thrown over him.

so not to be Hoe on main but we all just love Sexy Fab. but more so, i really thought Fabrizio would have put a lot of effort into dressing nicely this time around. Probably called a few friends, crying to help him. He just wanted Ermal to like his look. Which he did. A lot. again, outstanding heterosexual of the year, ermal meta is completely mesmerised by that look.

“Well, well, Fab. Gotta say, this place is on a whole different level“ The curly haired man commented as he flipped through the menu.“You like it?”“How could I not?”

again, Fabrizio intentionally looking up a fancy place for their Date, something he actually felt a little bit uncomfortable about himself and wouldnt normally chose for himself. But then again, he was greatly relieved when Ermal actually did say he liked it.

*It felt.. nice. The whole evening was quite nice, Ermal had to admit, even with the unusual ambient.

Ermal is just honestly iconic in this fic. man enjoys fabrizios appearance, enjoys talking with him, eating out with him, just spending time with him in general sooo much……and yet.

Fabrizio tilted his head and was it the candle light or something else, but a intriguing shine filled his eyes.“I’d know something sweeter than this.” In the next moment, everything turned upside down when Fabrizio suddenly took his hand and intertwined their fingers, his thumb gently brushing over the back of the younger man’s hand.

THE COURAGE THIS TOOK. THE NERVES WHICH WERE WRECKED. Fab really just went “ok here we go balls to the wall now or never”

Chap2

“So, Fabrizio….Fabrizio likes me. Apparently.” It felt interesting to say it out loud. Ermal got a tingly feeling at the thought. So ..it was him who made Fabrizio blush earlier? Who made him nervous? And smiley? Christ, he actually really wanted Ermal to like his outfit, didn’t he? A small smirk found its way on Ermal’s face. Who would have thought that he’d have Fabrizio Moro of all people wrapped around his finger.

erm: so im het

also erm: wow i really really like the fact that fabrizio is into me. its actually super exciting. kinda makes me happy in a way.

“Wait, what?! I should ask him out?!”“Yeah? Isn’t that something you want?”Is that something he- But that would imply that he’d want to pursue Fabrizio, his very male, masculine, manly friend Fabrizio who was definitely not by any chance a woman. To have a relationship with guy that was …..romantic… and oh sweet Mother of God, sexual?!“I- I- I don’t know.”

so yeah, to get to the bottom of this, when you’re in the process of realising your own …..non-heterosexuality, its just A Lot to take in. I thought, realistically, that would just be a bit too much for Ermal to take in at that moment. He had to process the mere thought of “yes, you could have a romantic relationship with this guy, since he’s into you. Its absolutely a possibility”. When you’re conditioned to think “i can only ever date people of the opposite sex” all your life, it takes a bit of time to get accustomed to new possibilities.

And then theres the sexual aspect which is like, on Jupiter, for Ermal’s current state of mind.

Chap3

The video he currently was immersed in showed a slow-mo fight between a mongoose and a cobra that in all its intensity outdid any action movie in a heartbeat.

i remember watching that vid before writing that chapter and being mesmerised by it. u fucking go lil mongoose!

[Bizio]: sorry i cant this weekend

First, i just love the thought of him being saved as Bizio on Ermals phone. Second, the reason why he replied so late was because he was wrecking his mind about it. Should he go? should he not? god, the thought of seeing ermal excited him and yet scared him. nonononno. he’s trying to get Over Ermal. He needs space. he is not ready yet.

[Ermal]:Fabri!! Heard you’re coming up North! 😁 I have this excellent bottle of wine that a fan gave me the other day (don’t ask) so how about we open it at my place? I know you love a good wine 😉🍷

He couldn’t even slide the phone back into his pocket before it started buzzing. Surprisingly, the reply came almost instantly this time.[Bizio]:sorry no the schedule is pretty tight for me at the moment i dont think ill have much time in milan

i just image him getting the weirdest fucking fan gifts. also lmao the lightning speed with which fab replied. homeboy saw that wine would be involved and imemdiately thought “nononononono. worst case, my drunk ass might kiss him, god forbid. we are absolutely not gonna do that”

[Ermal]:So I’m flipping through the channels at home and there comes a baking show and I wouldn’t normally stop to watch but you know what they’re baking? Those creamy pastry things we had in Lisbon!

Now the idea about the Pasteis de Nata stemms from a real life event! During ESC 2018 i slept at a friends house and since the contest was held in Portugal we decided to cook something portuguese. Thats what we did. They fucking slap. Also, one of the best weekends ive ever had

However, this is how things continued as to all of Ermal’s messages, he’d receive rather uncharacteristically short replies. When he sent him photos he’d often not reply at all and even when he called Fabri didn’t pick.

Okay we have to image in WHAT kinda mental state Fabrizio is in that time. Boy is EMBARASSED to death. Then obviously, he is trying his hardest to get rid of this crush. So he just isnt talking to Ermal at all. Which in turn makes him lonely and sad. So then Ermal shoots him a message, sends him a picture and Fabrizio is immediately head over heels again. Which he shouldnt be. Bad Fabri. And the circle repeats itself.

Fabrizio who smiled sweetly at the host, who hugged her tightly, who joked with her and oh, whose eyes didn’t stick to her face but wandered more and more south.

Dude honestly, Fab was not flirting with anyone. He was just being nice as he usually is. And we all know he a lil bit sleazy so yeah, he might have looked down once or twice. but he really was not flirting. It was just Ermals affection-deprived mind going berserk.

Also that was the first time Ermal witnessed Fabrizio being affectionate with someone else. And the contrast to that cold shoulder he received was just the last straw for him.

“Why is he all smiley and lovey-dovey with her while he treats me as if I’m a war criminal?!” Ermal shouted the second the other line got picked up.“Uhm, hello? Maybe a ‘Good morning’ first of all? A simple ‘how are you doing, Sabina?’ would have been appreciated too.”

Damn bitch can ya greet ur sister first before going off smh

And would it have been really that bad if Ermal had just held on to his hand? Let Fabrizio gently stroke him with his thumb, maybe even squeeze back while Ermal’s finger draws circles over letters that covered the older man’s knuckles.It would have been nice and Ermal would have liked it.

I think he just needed to see what he was missing out to realise what he really has always wanted. If things were to go back to normal, he would have never made any realisations.

“Am I- Do I like Fabrizio?”

No, we dont ask what he is. Because thats for another time, a calmer time. Or maybe not at all. He doesnt know the answer to that question and its not important right now. All he knows is that despite it all, he likes Fabrizio.

The fact he was a guy was new, but those feelings involved weren’t.

I feel like this is just a very bisexual experience. At least to me it was. Its very confusing when u are genuinely attracted to the opposite sex, so you make the conclusion: you are obviously straight. Its not possibly that you are not-straight.

Then u start feeling attraction to someone of ur own gender and its like “hmmm. Obviously this must be fake since we have established that Im genuinely attracted to the opposite sex ”

But the thing is..it aint going away. And then u think how you’d perhaps be down for sex, and perhaps be down for something more, and perhaps do all those nice things you would be doing with someone of the opposite sex.

So yeah, its ..its really confusing and complicated to figure it out. And if you actually do have a feelings for someone it only makes matters more complicated ig

“Jesus, I really do like him. Me. Liking a guy.”

Again, once u made That Realisation, its just the WILDEST thing in the beginning. a complete NEW concept being applied to yourself.

“LISTEN CUT THE BULLSHIT I KNOW EXACTLY THAT YOU’RE HOME! OPEN UP OR I WILL STAND HERE ALL NIGHT I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND!” In addition to the knocking he now also started ringing the doorbell. He sure as hell wouldn’t move here until that door wasn’t opened.“I DONT GIVE A FUCK, I WON’T EVEN SLEEP AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I CAN GO ON FOREVER YOU HEAR ME, FABRIZIO MOBRICI?!”

Ermal is just unhinged in all my fics.

Epilogue

[Ermal💛]: You ready?

Fabrizio added that heart right immediately after Ermal left his house a week prior.

Ermal looked….cuddly.

So yeah we all know Fab isnt the keenest on fashion and shit. And i just though Ermal would want him to be as comfortable as possible on their date, so he was like “ay come casual” . and also, its sort of cute that Ermal lets Fabri see him so casual too, its sort of more private in that sense.

And those were still the mild surprises, let’s not start with the downright shock he felt when his brain started providing words like kissable, attractive, sexy and hot during lonelier nights.

i have a fic for those kinda nights too

“It’s not that far and God knows men your age need the exercise anyway.”

ermal just cant show affection like a normal person, he has to roast u even when he’s madly in love with u

What followed behind the colourful door was a small chaos. Literally. People constantly coming and going, with buzzing voices chatting in every corner. They made their way half through the rather crowded establishment, got greeted by a waiter who rushed past them, before they finally spotted a couple leaving, liberating two chairs for them.

SO YEAH. the restaurant. it is loosely based on a place here in Vienna. Its pakistani food too, its a buffet, its kinda chaotic like described in the fic. also u can pay as much as u want.

i just thought, yknow, its home made cooking and its kinda relaxed and chill and casual and has a certain liberal flair to it. and i thought yeah that has fabri energy we gonna use that. also their mango rice puddings fucking slap

Languages were not his forte, those belonged to Ermal, but Fabrizio ran through his options. It surely wasn’t French or Spanish, that he would at least recognise. German looked different too; they had those dots over their U’s and those curly B’s which allegedly weren’t B’s at all. Swedish? Danish? No. He’s been to Ikea often enough to know that his wardrobe wouldn’t be called Qershor. And Russian had different letters but maybe it was something similar to Russian?

Okay, so I’m a known Slut for Languages. Fabrizio is not. I can pretty much recognise most European languages in written form at some point in a text. Fabrizio can not. Therefore writing this from the perspective of someone who really isnt into languages was kind of interesting and a bit challenging. I was just thinking ‘how would he recognise them when he isnt into them?’ And i think, in the end, i did it realistically.

“Is it like..Serbian? Croatian? Or something?” He mumbled while putting a piece of eggplant in his mouth but quickly realised the answer when Ermal almost spit out his water from laughing.“No, definitely not. I can guarantee you, it’s very much not Serbian or Croatian ‘or something’.” Ermal chuckled with a bright smile, obviously enjoying their little guessing game. “But you’re close. In a way.”

This is SO embarrassing but this whole language guessing game was just a setup to an inside joke I have with myself. So, for those who don’t know, I speak Serbo-Croatian. And I study Slavic studies. The first things they tell you in the first lesson of the Slavic Linguistics course is “Please, for the love of God, PLEASE, dont say Albanian/Hungarian/Romanian is a slavic language”. Apparently many europeans assume these languages are because theyre surrounded by slavic countries. BUT TO AN ACTUAL SLAVIC NATIVE SPEAKER, the difference is immediately obvious and so its quite comical when people assume theyre related languages. So i thought the reverse would be kinda funny to Ermal too.

“I can be anything the teacher wants me to be. A good student, a naughty student, whatever floats his boat…” He asked sultrily before winking at the man across of him whose higher brain functions seemed to have ceased at once and just gaped at him like a fish.

boys whole brain got fried when the sexiest man in italy started flirting with him. issokay, he was just shocked. fabrizio has never been flirty with him before, he’ll get used to it.

“I was just trying to give you the best date that I could.“At those words, the Roman frowned however."Wait, this was a date?!”

im just an asshole honestly

They giggled as they finally closed the gap between them going for a slow and deep kiss.

i just love them being all SOFT and in LOVE

“Erm, I- I have an instore tomorrow, I better be well rested.”His counterpart just huffed and raised an eyebrow.“So were you planning on staying up all night, huh?”

Fabs horn dog brain definitively went HmmmmMmm this is nice:) ..could get even nicer:) but no fuck, i have work to do tomorrow

“Love how you immediately forget about a good night’s sleep once you have a tongue in your mouth.”“Fuck off.”

He just got carried away as if u were complaining ermal smh

"I bet on everything I have that your password is 'liberoanita1’ so yes, I actually can.”

Parents culture is just using ur children’s names as all your passwords and we all know Fabri is that kinda parent.

All in All, i also wanna talk about how the epilogue mirrors the first chapter, but in a more successful light.

Fabrizio dresses for Ermal - Ermal dresses for Fabrizio

fancy place - more casual place

They take the car - they walk

Fabrizio takes Ermals hand on the open for everyone to see - Ermal takes Fabrizios hand under the table, in private

They eat their dessert seperately - they eat theri dessert together

they fall out - they become closer, kiss

they dont talk - they plan the next date

anyway thanks for reading and thank uuuuuu for this ask julchen

#my fics

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thelostgirlwrites · 6 years

Text

I Was Gonna Be That One In A Million // Dominique Weasley

Ravenclaw | Sixth Year | Prefect | Chaser | Junior International Quidditch League

I. Traits:

+ ambitious, driven, studious, self-disciplined Minnie wants to succeed and she thinks knows the best way to go about that is to study. She came to Hogwarts prepared to throw herself into her work the same way that she always did at home. From her first year, if anyone was looking for Minnie, they first needed to check the library, then the common room. And if she was in neither of those places, Minnie could be found in an empty classroom, practicing the hands-on aspect of magic. She never needed someone to tell her to do the work; Minnie’s drive came from within and she was her own impetus. Her marks were always high - perhaps not the top of her classes, but very close to that, and she was proud of herself for it. Minnie has accomplished almost everything she wanted to in her life as well; good marks, a spot on the Quidditch team, perfecting her macarons.

- reserved, stubborn, proud, cavalier Her need for success and her self-discipline has a negative side as well, however. Minnie doesn’t need other people and she knows it. Company is not something that she ever found herself overtly concerned with - whether it’s her cousins or her friends, Minnie simply doesn’t feel the urge to spend time with other people. She likes to chalk it up to her introverted nature, but that’s not the whole truth. When she’s feeling particularly honest, Minnie will admit that she just prefers her own company and that other people tend to slow her down and distract her. She can be careless, not in the ways that one usually considers it - she’s very meticulous with her belongings and in her work. When it comes to the feelings of those around her, however, Minnie rarely stops to consider how her words and actions will impact anything aside from herself. Once she sets her mind to something, it’s nearly impossible to make her change it.

II. Family

(tw: parental death mention)

If you ask Minnie who she is, the answer comes very quickly: “Minnie Weasley.” She might elaborate after that - “Minnie is short for Dominique. My parents are Bill and Fleur.” And then one more clarification - “No, I’m not part Veela. I’m adopted.”

Her feelings regarding her family are complicated (a theme which runs throughout all her relationships). She is a Weasley, there’s no doubt about that; the nurture was stronger than her nature in this case. She considers herself a Weasley through-and-through despite her differences from her cousins. Bill and Fleur are the only parents she’s ever known, Victoire and Louis are her siblings, and she has more cousins than she can easily list off. The fact that she doesn’t share their blood doesn’t make a difference.

But it does, at the same time. There are moments when Minnie is acutely aware of how different she is from the other Weasleys, She has moments where she longs to know the woman who gave birth to her - there’s a small photo album displayed in her bedroom, filled with pictures of her two mothers: Jocelyn, the one who bore her, and Fleur, the one who raised her. They were friends, and Fleur was always willing to tell Minnie about their escapades at Beauxbatons, and Jocelyn’s worried letters when Fleur joined the Order, and their short-lived reunion just before Minnie’s birth. Not long after Minnie’s birth, Jocelyn died; Fleur was Minnie’s godmother and it was never an option for her to go anywhere but Shell Cottage.

Minnie knows nothing of her birth father; Jocelyn didn’t mention him to Fleur, and Minnie doesn’t care anyway. While she wishes she knew Jocelyn, Bill has always been the only dad she ever wanted or needed.

So yes, she is a Weasley, but there are moments where a little traitorous voice whispers that maybe she isn’t, and Minnie isn’t sure how she feels about that.

III. Quidditch

Growing up in the family that she did, it was impossible for Minnie not to know about Quidditch. As a child, she didn’t see the appeal of the sport; she wasn’t overly fond of heights, and her coordination on a broom wasn’t the best so throwing balls or hitting bludgers were beyond her skills. However after her arrival at Hogwarts, things changed; Minnie knew several of her housemates who tracked Quidditch stats, which was far more appealing. Once she began that, and started to understand the game better, she wanted to try it for herself.

The summer before her third year, Minnie spent all day, every day on her broom, honing her skills. It was the same single-minded determination that she applied to her studies, and it paid off; she earned a spot on the team when she returned to Hogwarts. Her schedule shifted to allow regular practice, on top of the team practices, but she has always balanced it well. At the moment, her goal is to pursue Quidditch professionally; she’s good and it would be an interesting career. Her options are still open, of course, but it’s the current ambition.

IV. Sexuality

Minnie has a complicated relationship with relationships. She’s not good at them, to start with, and doesn’t really see the need for people to be around. Despite all that, she has a deep-seated longing for the sort of love that she sees around her, in her parents and aunts and uncles. The sort of love that looks beyond flaws and offers comfort and support. She knows it’s real and exists, and has hopes that she’ll find it someday.

Minnie is demisexual panromantic. Her sexual attraction doesn’t come until she has a strong connection with someone, but she experiences romantic attraction more frequently, and with anyone.

V. Miscellany

Birthday: January 1, 2007 - Minnie’s sign is Capricorn and it describes her perfectly.

Height: 5′4″

Weight: 120 lbs.

Scars: Minnie was a bit clumsy when she was younger, and has several small scars on her arms and legs. The most noticeable of these are the long scar tracing up her left forearm, where she fell off her broom when she was thirteen and gashed herself on a piece of glass that had been unseen prior to that; and the scar curving around her right ankle, from getting her leg caught on something (to this day, she isn’t sure what) while swimming. In addition to those, she has a few burn scars on her hands, from her baking attempts, and callouses from Quidditch that have yet to go away.

Wand: Ivy and dragon heartstring, ten inches, springy. Her wand is a bit on the small side, simply due to the difficulty of harvesting ivy wood, but both the wood and the core lend to a great deal of strength. When wielding her wand, Minnie tends to have rather dramatic gestures, although she’s been attempting to reign herself in as she feels it makes her look silly. (Information found here and here.)

Patronus: The Jaguar - a solitary cat, this reflects Minnie’s self-reliance and isolation very well.

Boggart: A dragon. Minnie will tell anyone who asks that she doesn’t know why it’s a dragon, but that would be a lie. She’s been frightened of dragons since she was four, after a trip to visit Uncle Charlie in Romania. Nothing specific happened, but the animals were so big and frightening to her that it left a mark.

Class list: Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Herbology, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, Muggle Studies, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes (She took all Es and Os in her OWLs). She chose not to take Care of Magical Creatures or Divination, despite her interest in both subjects, simply because she had to draw the line somewhere. COMC sounded like it could get messy, and Minnie doesn’t like messes; while she believes in Divination, she isn’t interested in doing it herself and so that was an easy class to pass over.

#holocene dominique #i wanted to get some muse stuff out #watch me have to resubmit this app with this extra stuff before the deadline on saturday #parental death tw

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namjoonsteeth · 6 years

Text

Ruin The Friendship (part IV)

Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) Part 4

Word-Count: 6.4k

Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)

Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.

Genre: Smutty Fluff

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

We fall into a routine.

He’s working on an album right now on top of tons of collaborations. In the morning, I can account for him to be either at the studio or the gym. I work at my studio with Bora preparing for award season. We book a lot of consultations and do hours of research to the point that we could name menswear by designer from this season.

At night Jay’s at the studio. He works into the morning often, sending me snippets of him singing riffs. Sometimes, he’s at my door at two o’clock in the morning, a sleepy smile on his face. Other times it’s me, climbing in his bed waiting until he slips in beside me.

We talk a lot. We talk about how different our lives are compared to how we thought it would be. We talk about each other, we talk about love and hope, and wanting more still.

We have sex; slow, hot, and tired; rough, knee-shaking, fucks; quick mid-day romps that leave us wanting more but holds us over until we can get our hands on each other again.

Most importantly, we laugh. I’ve long since gotten used to the universe knowing that I’m in love with my best friend. Sometimes I wonder exactly what it is about him that made it essential for me to love him the way that I do. I don’t think I’ll ever really get an answer. I just know that he’d always meant to be apart of my life. From childhood to adulthood, we’d found each other again and again.

Jay: I think this is the ugliest picture I have of you.

We’ve been doing this for the past hour. He includes a picture of me that I’m sure is hidden somewhere deep in my parents’ basement back home in Seattle. I’m crying hysterically over a pair of concert tickets on Christmas morning. My hair sticks up in every direction which luckily (I think) draws attention away from the reindeer pajamas my mom pressured my sister and I into wearing. I’m at least sixteen by the way; old enough for this to be the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Y/n: Burn it. You win.

Jay: I’ll delete it if you replace it...

I roll my eyes. The idea of sending nudes has never been something I really scoffed at. I’ve done it at least twice in my life. But there’s just something about how bad Jay wants a photo of my body that he’s sees almost every night that has me feeling a little bit powerful. I’m not ready to relinquish that yet.

Y/n: the porn industry is a million dollar business for a reason

Jay: it’s not the sameee😩😩

Y/n: just delete the damn picture Jay

Jay: nope. I think I found my next WCE picture

Y/n: im not having sex with you until you delete the picture

Jay: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jay: Says the girl who begs me to come over at four in the morning.

Dammit. He’s right.

Y/n: That was one time and I was hormonal.

My phone rings, Jay’s face flashing.

“What do you want?”

He laughs and I’m so glad he’s at work instead in front of me because I can’t even pretend to be upset at him when he laughs. Bora shoots me a look from her desks. I think she’s a little confused as to how Jay and I actually like each other when we’re bickering every other minute.

“Is this how you treat me? After I spent all night letting you have your filthy way with me,”

“You’re probably the most annoying person in South Korea,”

“You love me,” he says.

“I do,” I tell him. We don’t say it often. Sometimes I whisper it at night when I’m sure he’s half asleep and the only response I get is his arms tightening around me as if he’s saying, ‘Yeah, me too,’. Or sometimes when he feels too good sliding against me, I think the words so hard that they slip out.

“Did you tell Bora about Henz tonight?”

“I did. She’s in,”

Jay has been working non-stop since he came back from the states two weeks ago. And because he feels like going out tonight, we’re going out. It’s been a while since I’ve been out with Jay and his friends.

The day passes slowly. Bora and I finalize Zino’s look and pack away everything neatly for next week. She laments again about how she’ll be so lonely in LA without me. I assure her that her boyfriend Jin will more than make sure she has a good time. Giving my plane ticket to Jin seems to be becoming more and more of a good idea.

As much as Jay pushed me into the decision a little, I know it was a good one. I can’t lie and pretend that if the tables were turned, I’d be 100% comfortable with him on a weekend trip with someone I’m not fond of. I trust him. I really do, but I’m selfish enough to want every part of him to myself.

By the end of our day, Bora promises to see me in a few hours and we lock up the studio. I take an Uber back to Jay’s place where I’d left an overnight bag for tonight. I sleep until Jay gets in, waking me up by laying his whole body on me.

“Come on, man,” I groan failing to push his heavy body off of me.

He laughs, holding his body rigid like he’s planking.

“Get off of me you weigh so much,” I say tiredly. He rolls over, pulling my body into his arms.

“Come on, baby. Get up, I miss you,”

“I was sleeping,” I groan into his chest. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s getting woken up. He knows this. He’s been on the receiving end of my wrath plenty of times, yet he doesn’t care.

“It’s about to be nine,” he says, his arms around me. I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut.

“I had an alarm set,”

“Too bad,” he laughs. “Get up, it takes you at least four hours to do your makeup,”

“Shut up, it doesn’t,” I yawn and stretch out my body against him. “Give me another hour. Just lay here with me,”

His arm drapes across my face. “Ok, baby,”

I fall asleep again while Jay taps away on his phone, he plays sound clips really quietly, holding the phone to his ear. When it’s time to get up again, I shower and get dressed while he spends another hour in bed. I finish my light make up and by the time I’m done, he’s right where I left him looking like a whole model. He’d changed into a silk patterned top, tucked halfway into his dark jeans. His hair is gelled up a little.

He stands when he sees me, a cute wide smile on his face. He pulls me against his chest. He smells clean, like the soap I’ve been using every time I stay over. A hand moves up my leg, sliding beneath my dress and settling on my ass.

“We have to go,” I smile up at him. My arms come up around his neck, drawing him close.

He brushes his knuckles across my jaw while his other hand squeezes at my flesh. He looks at me like he’s ready to call the whole night off. All he has to do is say a single word and the dress would be on the floor.

“You look beautiful baby,” he tells me. His tongue presses to the corner of his mouth, his eyes going to my lips.

I look down at myself. A curve-hugging basic red T-shirt dress that brushes the top on my thighs, and black high heeled boots that just barely meet the hem. I’d thrown a denim jacket over my shoulders to keep from freezing to death. It’s nothing special by far. There’s no point in doing the most when it’s all going to be thrown on my floor later. I’d be lucky if my impatient boyfriend doesn’t end up ripping some part of this outfit tonight. Still, the way he looks at me makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. And it hits me like a punch to the chest; I’ve seen this look before. When he’d stepped off the plane when he went back home to Seattle all that time ago, and when he’d picked me up from ICN just three years ago.

I lean up to press my lips against his. His arms flex around my waist, holding me tight against his body. The kiss only lasts a few short seconds, but it’s so sweet I’m not ready to pull away from him yet.

“I’m proud of you,” I tell him. I think I’ve said it a thousand times and yet he just keeps doing more, being better, becoming who he wants to be. I don’t know if I’ll ever be done letting him know. Tonight feels different though. Like we’ve finally arrived where we’ve been meant to be all these years. I’m still right next to him. He’s still rooting for me.

His hands smooth down my dress before he laces his fingers with mine. I reach up to smudge away the red lipstick that’s smudged on the side of his lips. It’s funny how domesticated we’ve become in the last three weeks; easily as if there’s no other way to be.

“Thank you,” he says before pressing his lips against my jaw.

He pulls me through his living room toward the door and I grab my purse on the way out. I follow behind him until we get out front. He moves aside so I can slide in the back of the Uber he’d called for before he slides in beside me. His arm comes around my shoulders.

“Is it bad that I don’t even want to go out anymore?” Jay asks with half a smile, looking at his phone.

I don’t really want to go out either but I think my reasons are completely selfish in comparison to his. He always looks good, but tonight I want to pull him out of that Gucci silk top.

“You can’t work yourself to death,” I tell him, pushing a piece of hair off of his forehead.

“I know, I know. I just,” he trails off for a second, looking out the window of the car. He’s been very introspective lately. I see it on his face. As much as he doesn’t like to let on, I know he’s a little scared. The music industry, especially in the states isn’t guaranteed. He’s willed all of this good stuff to happen on his own, but a record label as big as Roc Nation is a new world. He’s had experiences with a large company before and it almost stopped him in his tracks before he’d had a chance.

“I want to do good,” he says finally.

“I don’t think it’s possible for you not to,” I tell him. “Look at everything you’ve made for yourself, by yourself. You succeed. It’s just what you do,”

“And if I don’t?”

“You’ll still own my heart and this ass,” I joke smiling at him.

He laughs shaking his head at me.

“For whatever it’s worth,” I say seriously. “I’ll be here. I’ve always been here,”

He leans in to kiss me again, his tongue gliding over my bottom lip. It’s making it a little hard for me to be excited about having him out of my bed when he touches me like everything from now on is just a precursor for what’s sure to happen later. I wonder if this is how it always is with everyone else; going through the day just so we can get back to touching each other in the dark away from the world.

When he pulls away I roll my eyes at his mouth. I pull out a makeup remover wipe from my person and wipe his lips before starting to reapply my lipstick.

“Can’t you use like clear or something? I can’t kiss you if you’re wearing that shit,” he pushes his bottom lip out.

“You’re not going to be kissing me at all because you’re going to go have fun with your friends while Bora and I stay on the dance floor,”

As always it’ll be a big deal when Jay shows up tonight. He commands the attention regardless of the occasion. Tonight is all about him, and I want him to have as much fun as he usually does without looking over at me every few seconds.

We pull up to Henz before he can say anything. I see Bora and her boyfriend Jin waiting outside for us. The line wraps around the building as if word got out that Jay would be in tonight. He grabs my hand, pulling me behind him as we exit the car. We greet Bora and Jin as Jay guides us toward the entrance, bypassing the line. I shake myself free of Jay.

“Go have fun,” I tell him.

He shoots me a look just as Bora shoos her own boyfriend away. Everyone has already spotted him, pushing him toward the closed-off section some of his friends are in. I’m sure there are tons of people over there that’ll help him celebrate.

“I’m going to get a drink. We’ll meet up with you guys later,”

“You can get a drink brought to you over there,” he yells over the music.

“I’ll text you,” I tell him, blowing a kiss and leaving toward the bar. Bora’s hand finds mine as we make our way through the crowd.

“You’re the only girl I know that would leave Jay Park in a club full of women,”

“I trust him,” I say dodging out of the way of a girl who’s carrying one too many shots.

“I know it’s not him I’m worried about. There are already girls moving to get their hands on him,”

I look behind me to see that she’s right. People are going crazy as he makes his way toward VIP. From here I can see a few aomg and h1ghermusuc guys welcoming him into the small section. The smile on his face is enough to know that I made the right decision to keep my distance for a little while. It’s been a little time since he’d last came out like this, with his friends just to enjoy the night. I don’t want him catering to me like I know he’d do.

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m the only one that gets to take him home then,” I smile at her while we wait for a spot at the bar.

An hour later and Jay and his friends have commandeered the club just as I expected. They all take turns performing their songs and just generally having a good time. When the DJ makes an announcement, shouting out Jay’s new label deal, the club gets amped up just a little more. I can’t keep the stupid grin off of my own face at my boyfriend’s face. He’s happy. He’s enjoying himself, and it’s all that’s ever mattered to me.

He catches my eye, his head tilting for me to come join him at the center of the attention. I shake my head and wave him off. His lips poke out in the cutest pout but he lets it go. Bora and I linger close to the bar, away from the crowd but close enough to keep eyes on our guys.

“It’s kind of amazing how they kind of just turned this into their show,” Bora notes. She watches as Loco takes the mic and the first notes of a song further hype the crowd.

I nod, tilting my drink back until it’s finished. “It’s a little overwhelming,”

“Get used to it, babe,” she tells me. “The way he looks at you, it’s ridiculous that you guys are only just starting out,”

I laugh and look at her. “How does he look at me?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know like he’s always been in love with you. It’s just weird to see you guys be so domesticated so quickly,”

“He’s been my best friend for years,” I remind her.

“How did you watch all of this; the girls and the parties and not feel,” she trails off.

“Jealous? I don’t know. I just knew he’d always belonged in my life in any way he fit, I made room. And he did the same,”

I think about all the times I had to distance myself from him a little because of someone I was dating and he wordlessly just understood. We adjusted.

“You guys are disgusting,” she laughs. I can’t disagree with her.

Suddenly, Bora slaps my arm. Her eyes follow someone who steps up behind me. I look back. It’s Zino. I inwardly roll my eyes at his dimples smirk. He pushes his hair back out of his face.

“What a nice surprise,” he smiles at Bora and me.

“Nice to see you,” Bora greets.

I manage a smile, thinking about the small fight he’d indirectly caused between Jay and I. It wasn’t his fault. In fact, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong. I can’t hold him accountable for anything. After all, Jay was the one who slept with his girlfriend.

“Let me buy you another drink,” he offers, eyeing my empty glass.

“Oh no, I’m good. Thank you anyway,”

Zino nods stuffing his hands in his pockets. An awkward silence falls over the three of us. He works with Bora more than I, so they should be able to hold a decent conversation.

“I’d like to apologize,” he says suddenly, his eyes on me. “I think I must have offended you the other week,”

“No,” I shake my head. I still haven’t figured out a way to explain that my boyfriend doesn’t like him and wants us to not be associated in any way, which is the reason I’ve decided not to go on the free LA trip he’d offered. “It’s ok. I’m just,”

God this is uncomfortable. “We’re busy,” Bora offers for me. “Y/n forgot we had clients booked for award season during next week,”

He twists his lips, chewing on the corner. I don’t know if he’s buying it. Instead of responding, he orders a beer before turning back to us.

“So business is good?”

I nod. “Yeah, everything is good,”

He tilts his beer at the stage. “Jay’s doing well?”

I don’t know why I feel so protective of Jay. I’m immediately on the defensive when Zino mentions his name.

“Yeah, he’s doing really well. He just signed a deal with Roc Nation,”

“I heard,” he says taking another sip of the beer in his hand. Another awkward silence settles around us.

I clear my throat looking around subtly for an excuse to get out of his space. A sudden push in the crowd forces the three of us closer. Zino’s shoulder presses against me. With Bora on my other side, there’s really nowhere to go.

“So, why are you guys not up there with them,” he asks.

I shrug. “It’s a little crazy up there,”

We all look at the guys jumping around up front. It looks fun and I’m sure it is, but it’s a lot. Zino laughs shaking his head as someone stands on a speaker. He reaches behind me to sit his bottle on the bar, his arm brushes my side slightly.

“What about you Bora,” he leans in to look at her on the other side of me. “No boyfriend tonight?”

She gestures behind her. “Jin’s up there somewhere. Probably completely out of his comfort zone, but he’s somewhere in the mix,”

I feel a hand behind me touch my waist. When I turn around, I’m met with my boyfriend’s hard face.

“Let’s go,” he whispers in my ear.

I frown at him. “That’s fine but we can’t just leave Bora here,”

“He’s making his way through,” he says tugging me further away from Zino.

“It’s ok, Y/n, I see him. Text me in the morning,” she says.

Jay leads me through the crowd. When we make it outside, he silently pulls out his phone to call a car. He puts space between us as we wait.

“What the hell is your problem?” I ask quietly. He hears me though. His grip on my waist tightens slightly. There are people watching, I’m sure. We’re running the risk of pictures of the two of us all over the Internet, something else I wanted to avoid tonight.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he says. His eyebrows pinch into a frown. He looks at his phone, check where our Uber is.

“Jay,” I call him. He says nothing, his lips twisting to the side like he’s trying to hide a scowl.

“For fuck sakes-,”

He kisses me hard, taking the words out of my mouth. His tongue touches mine roughly. His hand snakes up to grip the nape of my neck. The way he kisses me, it shouldn’t be done in public. Yet, we’re here in front of the biggest club in Seoul, kissing like we’re in a bedroom.

When he pulls away, his forehead leans against mine.

“Just stop talking, Y/n,”

Our car pulls up right in front of us. Jay opens the back door for me. I slide in and he follows behind me. The drive feels like it takes forever. He barely looks at me. The tension is palpable. I watch the lights that pass hit his twitching jawline. He supposed to be mad but I’m so turned on I can’t see beyond the hard set of his mouth. I don’t know if it’s the two drinks I had that has my skin buzzing to touch his or the kiss. Either way, my hand slides up his thigh without me actually realizing it. He grips my fingers stopping them from going any further.

When we’re in front of the building, he tips the driver, slides out and waits for me to follow. He grips my hand and pulls me along upstairs.

“You’re mad?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m fucking mad,”

We step into his place. I reach out to hold on to his shoulder so I can slip my shoes off. He stands still, letting me lean against him. When I’m finally barefoot, I wrap my arms around his neck, tilting my head up.

“Are you jealous?” I ask.

He stays silent, avoiding my gaze. I press my lips against his jaw that’s wound tight. I trail my mouth down his throat. He tugs at my arms. They drop to my side.

“You can’t seriously think that I’m interested in anyone else,” I roll my eyes. When he still doesn’t speak I slide past him.

“You’re fucking ridiculous,”

“He touched you,” Jay says finally. “He touched you and he stared at your body and when he saw that I was watching, he gave me the biggest fucking smile, Y/n,”

“It’s not like I fucked him, Jay,”

“He wants to fuck you though,”

I sigh, rubbing at my temples. This isn’t how I saw my night going. I should be wrapped around him by now, discovering eighty new ways to get him to bite his lip the way he does when he’s feeling extremely good.

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me, though,”

“You put yourself in that position, Y/n. I told you to come up with me and the next thing I see is him all over you,”

“I’m not even entertaining this conversation,” I say walking away to head toward the shower. His hand on my hip stops me. I look up at him, the thunder in his eyes back.

“I’m selfish, Y/n. I don’t like other people wanting what’s mine,”

I open my mouth to tell him very matter of factly that I don’t belong to him. I’m not a piece of property. His mouth on mine stops any words. He kisses me hard, our teeth knocking together. I sigh against him, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. He stops me, gripping both of my wrists in his hands. He walks us backward until my back hits the wall behind me. He pins my wrists against the wall above my head.

“He touched you,” he says against my lips.

His mouth moves down my neck, biting at my skin. His hand tightens around my wrists, holding them above my head. My hips move against his, grinding against the bulge in his pants. His free hand pushes my dress up my thigh, exposing my thin lacy underwear. His fingers pull roughly at the fabric, and I hear the material tear.

“You owe me a pair of underwear,” I moan against his lips that fall on me.

Only illuminated by the light streaming in from outside, he’s like a dream. His light skin reflects yellow light, drawing the dark lines of his tattoos into focus. The only response I get is his fingers tightening around me. He uses his hand to lift my thigh around his waist, pinning my body against the wall with his hips.

“Keep your hands here,” he instructs, his grip loosening on my wrists. I do as I’m told enjoying the fire in his eyes. His gaze doesn’t leave mine as he opens his pants so he can pull himself out. Once he pulls a condom on, he grabs my wrists again. He pulls them down, pushing them against my chest as he plunges into me hard.

He moves against me fast, anchoring me in place with a hand on my hip. My legs wrap around his waist, drawing him closer. When my hips start to move with his, his fingers dig into my skin roughly. It feels too good. He holds me too tightly, fucks me too hard. I don’t last more than a few short minutes, my muscles spasm around him, my legs going slack. He reaches down, grabbing my thighs while he carries me to the couch. He lays me down, his body coming over mine.

“Jay,” I call, reaching up to grab at his slick hair. His mouth comes hard against mine again. Teeth pull at my bottom lip, roughly. He tastes too good to let him pull away. I hold his head against mine, kissing him until I’m gasping for breath.

His hips start to lose their rhythm as he chases after his own orgasm. His face falls into my neck, as he groans against me.

“Fuck, Y/n,”

I pull him tighter against my body, his sweat falling on my own skin. I don’t want to move. I could lay here for the rest of my life with the taste of him in my mouth and his body pressed to mine. He pulls away too quickly, going to the bathroom. I wait for him to come back. When he doesn’t, I sit up, pulling the dress back in place. I hear the shower cut on just as I start to approach.

*He really fucking left me there*

I haven’t been on the receiving end of Jay’s anger before. After being so high, I’m left feeling empty. But I know how he operates. He wants me to go after him, to beg him to talk to me, but I won’t. He’s mad at me because he can’t let this thing with Zino go. Even if I tell him how fucking ridiculous it is for him to feed into a grudge that really makes no difference now, he’ll still think I’m not taking his side.

Loyalty has always been a big thing for him, and I get it. But there comes a point where you have to see beyond what’s right in front of you. I don’t think I have to tell Jay that I don’t want Zino, or that I’m so stupid in love with him that it’s ridiculous. I hurt his pride, at the end of it, but that not for me to deal with.

I take a shower in the bathroom down the hall, ignoring the bruises that are already starting to appear on my skin. When I’m finished getting ready for bed, I slide in beside his still body.

“Did I hurt you?” He asks in the dark.

“No, I liked it,” I whisper.

He says nothing but shifts so that his back is toward me. I roll my eyes in the dark.

“You’re not talking to me now?”

He says nothing.

“God, sometimes, I can’t deal with you,”

I still get nothing.

“You’ve been with tons of women. And I had to see it all Jay. Not once did I hold it against you. All he does is talk to me, and you freak out like I’m some toy of yours he’s playing with without asking first,”

“It’s not the same thing,” Jay says. “We weren’t together,”

“I loved you the same way I do now, so don’t give me that shit. You’re embarrassed because you think he’s going to do to you what you did to him,”

“Don’t say it like that,”

“Fucking grow up, Jay,”

He stays silents which infuriated me even more. I turn, pushing my feet against his ass and kick him.

“Get up. Get up and talk to me,”

“Ow, Y/n, what the fuck,”

I push until he finally sits up. I can’t see his face but I can imagine that if looks could kill I’d been dead ten times over.

“This is how it works. I talk to whoever I want. Out of respect for you, I decided not to directly work with the guy, but I’m not going to ignore someone who is paying my business for service,”

“He’s just trying to get to me, Y/n. He’s not going to leave you alone because he knows how much it’ll kill me if,” he trails off not finishing his sentence. He doesn’t have to.

“You think I’d do that to you? You think I’m not so fucking crazy about you that’ll it makes me sick just thinking about anyone else touching me?”

“Y/n-,”

“I’m going home,” I slide out of the bed, looking for my phone to call an Uber to my apartment. I grab the first pair of pants I see and luckily they’re mine from when I left them here at some point. I slip them on. Ignoring Jay’s hands that grab for me.

“You can’t be mad at me when I’m mad at you,” he says, blocking the doorway.

I ignore him and push past to get my shoes from his living room. I grab my purse and pull it over my shoulder.

“I did nothing wrong, Jay. You don’t get to fuck me and then treat me like I’m part of the problem,” I cross my arms over my chest. We’ve fought more in the last month than we have throughout our whole friendship.

“I won’t keep going in this circle with you about Zino,” I tell him. My phone vibrates letting me know that my car is outside. “So, I’m going to go home. I don’t want you to call me until you figure out your own shit,”

“How did I become the one in trouble?”

“Because you’re acting like a child. Honestly Jay, the silent treatment?”

“What do you want me to say, Y/n? I’m sorry?”

“I want you not to treat me like shit,” I feel my eyes prick. I don’t want to cry in front of him. As upset as I am, I know he’ll feel a thousand times worse if he knows he made me cry. Still, moisture pools in my eyes and drop down my cheeks. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I love him. I love him and I don’t want to fight with him. We get limited time together and here we are arguing at three in the morning.

I turn away from him to wipe my eyes. It’s no use. My shoulders start to shake. I wrap my arms around myself, moving through the apartment to gather the rest of my things.

“Y/n, don’t do that. Come on,” he sees it. His arms come around me as he pulls me against his chest. My face presses against his skin making it impossible for him not to feel my tears smudge against him.

“Shit, please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, ok?” He rubs at my back but it only makes me tear up more. He lifts me off the ground and carries me back to his room. He sits on the edge of his bed and pulls me into his lap. His thumb comes beneath my eyes, wiping away the moisture.

“I’m sorry,” he says again.

“For making me cry or for being a dickhead?” I ask through tears.

He holds my face between his hands, forcing me to look at him.

“Both, Y/n. You don’t know how I feel about you. You’ve always been mine. When someone tries to threaten that,” he sighs, pulling my mouth against his. I don’t know how I always end up here, kissing him like he didn’t just make me upset. He has that thing about him. He can charm his way out of every situation.

“I want to go,” I say pulling away from him. “I don’t want to be here right now,”

His forehead presses against mine, his eyes close tightly. I don’t know why he’s doing this to us. We’re fine, actually more than fine we’re perfect until his head gets in the way.

“Sleep here and I’ll take the other room,” he says.

I don’t trust myself not to seek him out later tonight. I think we’re too used to each other. We need a little space. I stand off his lap and gather up my stuff. I have to call the Uber back because he’s long gone.

“I’m going to go,” I tell him clearing my throat. “I’ll call you,”

“Don’t leave,” he says, his fingers lace with mine pulling me back into his arms. His lips press to my neck. “Don’t leave,” he repeats against my skin.

I’m so weak. I’ve always been so weak for him. He looks at me with those brown eyes like he wants to keep me in this room just to love me for the rest of his life. The way he makes me feel, it’s intoxicating. It’s addicting. And I know his heart. I know he doesn’t mean to make me feel bad. I know he loves me beyond the sun and the moon.

Sometimes I wish I’d didn’t know him as well as I do. I wish I hadn’t gotten the chance to fall in love with every single part of him. It’s making me weak.

“It’s late,” he says. It’s nearly four. Too early in the morning for us to be even having this conversation. He’s right, though. I can’t imagine I’d go to my empty apartment and feel any better.

I look at him, his eyes are tired and a little bloodshot. He bites at his lip while he waits for my answer. His hair is a mess. Still, he’s so pretty my heart aches. I press my hand against the compass tattooed into his skin. My thumb tracing the points.

“I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you too,” he tells me quickly like he’s afraid I’ll go if he hesitates.

“I know,” I tell him. “But do you know that I love you? All of you, even the parts that drive me freaking crazy,”

“I’m sorry, Y/n-,” he goes to apologize again but I interrupt him.

“I don’t think you know. I don’t think you realize how much I love you, Jay,”

“I’m going to do better with you, Y/n. You just have to let me get used to him being around you,”

“It’s work, Jay. He’s just a guy. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m on your side,”

His hand spreads out on my thigh. “I know, baby,”

I stand from his lap again and step out of the joggers I’d pulled on. I climb back in bed behind him and reach my hand out for him to join me. I won’t be able to sleep if I know he’s just in the other room. At least that’s how I rationalize it. I ignore the fact that once again I’m sweeping just how hurt I am under the rug and hoping for the best.

Jay grabs my hand and settles beside me, pulling me against his chest. I trace my fingers over the ridges in his back.

“I’m sorry I made you cry,” he says.

“You’re too good for me,”

“Yeah, probably,” I yawn.

He laughs, taking my lips in the dark. He kisses me so thoroughly, that I forget that I’m supposed to be mad at him. I want him again. He’s turned me into a fiend. I suppress the urge to climb on top of him. Instead, I pull away and cuddle deeper into his chest.

He falls asleep quickly after that. He’s never not touching me during the night. His arm stays wrapped around me, or his hands grip my flesh, either way, he keeps me close. I stay up. To go from not having a single issue with someone for years to this. It’s just one thing, I tell myself. It’s just one thing that we have to get over and then we can get back to being us.

With so many pent-up feelings to literally last more than a decade, we’re just now being able to express them. It’s his personality, he’s competitive, he just doesn’t like the guy. I make excuses because the alternative, losing him, isn’t an option.

I shut my eyes finally, curling closer to him. He pulls me against his side tightly. All thoughts of anything other than how good it feels for him to hold me gets forced out. I don’t think about work, Korean rap stars, award shows. It all gets lost in the cadence of his breaths.

#jay park #aomg #h1ghrmusic #RTF mini #rtf 4

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iamandco · 5 years

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PHOTO: Grant Lamos IV/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images The most beautiful cosmetic you can have is passion. — Yves Saint Laurent Don’t let today be a waste of makeup. I’m a big believer that if you focus on good skin care, you really won’t need a lot of makeup — demi moore The best cosmetic is great skin. Wearing makeup has always been a catch-22 for women. If we wear makeup, we’re seen as superficial and vain. If we go bare-faced, we’re asked, “Are you sick?” or viewed as unprofessional. However, modern makeup artists and beauty icons are here to flip the script on this restricting narrative around makeup. Here are thirty makeup quotes that will make you proud to sport your smokey eye. — Pat McGrath Though she is one of the most influential runway makeup artists of all time, the average person most likely hasn’t heard of Pat McGrath. Pat McGrath is to beauty what Coco Chanel is to fashion, what Andy Warhol is to art, and what Frank Lloyd Wright is to architecture. Despite her influence and revolutionary makeup artistry, however, McGrath rarely gets her due shine outside the high fashion industry. In an interview with New York Magazine concerning her Founders Award from the CDFA Fashion Awards, McGrath describes her relationship to makeup. Some people might despair in having to destroy their art at the end of the day, but she describes it as inspirational. What’s the point in doing the same makeup over and over again if it’s going to disappear every night? You may as well take advantage of makeup’s temporary nature by trying a new technique or style every day. If you’re sad, add more lipstick and add attack. — Coco Chanel When my eyeliner is on point, my life is on point. Treat your makeup like jewelry for the face. Play with colors, shapes, and structure. It can transform you. — Francois Nars I dream of making women not only more beautiful but also happier. — christian dior Drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x better. All things are possible with coffee and mascara With a good makeup brush, every woman can be an artist. I remember the first time I wore mascara, it changed my life. When I was 13 I went away to boarding school and I started wearing mascara. Overnight, I felt instantly more empowered, magnetic and mesmerising – I felt enriched with confidence. — Charlotte Tilbury A pivotal experience in every makeup wearer's life was the first time he or she felt empowered by makeup. Maybe it was the time you were allowed to wear lipstick for the school play, and you felt a new surge of confidence stepping onto the stage. Maybe it was when you tried winged liner and discovered a new way to express your inner badass. Whatever your personal experience, it’s always incredibly empowering to claim makeup as a tool for self-expression. Like Pat McGrath, Charlotte Tilbury is a renowned makeup artist who has moved on to designing her own line of makeup. Her most well-known products include her lipsticks and glowy bronzers. When all else fails, turn it into a smokey eye. Lipstick is really magical. It holds more than a waxy bit of color – it holds the promise of a brilliant smile, a brilliant day, both literally and figuratively — Roberta Gately Have a better relationship with your makeup and take the time to learn what your products will do. — Sam Fine Beauty is about enhancing what you have, let yourself shine through — Janelle Monae I believe all women are pretty without makeup-but with the right makeup can be powerful. — Bobby Brown I’m very proud of my skin and my face, and I have no problem not wearing makeup. I don’t wear makeup because I feel like I need to cover myself up or because I don’t feel confident. I wear makeup because it’s fun; it’s like painting on my face. — Zendaya Zendaya is well-known for her glowy makeup looks and dramatic brows. However, she doesn’t want her fans to get the wrong idea about why she favors dramatic highlighters and lashes. In an interview with Elle, she explains that her desire to wear makeup doesn’t stem from any type of insecurity, but from a desire to express herself. She then comments on how makeup and beauty culture is changing with millennials and Gen Z, saying, “People don't wear makeup to impress people or because they'll be seen in public. It's more of a hobby now, just because it's fun.” Although “no-makeup-makeup” looks may have been more popular in the early 2010s, abstract neon green eyes, rainbow eyebrows, and other extreme makeup tutorials are now the most-viewed videos. I love natural beauty, and I think it’s your best look, but I think makeup as an artist is so transformative. — Marina and the Diamonds Beauty without expression is boring. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Great eyebrows don’t happen by chance, they happen by appointment. In the morning from the minute that I wake up / What if I don’t want to put on all that makeup / Who says I must conceal what I’m made of / Maybe all this Maybelline is covering my self-esteem — Alicia Keys I’d be lying if I said there’s no pressure on women to wear makeup. In 2016, Alicia Keys sparked a mini-revolution by making a public choice to give up makeup. In an essay in the publication Lenny, Keys explained that she had felt stifled by makeup from a young age. As she skyrocketed into fame, the media judged her for choosing to leave her hair natural, dress in relaxed clothing, and wear minimal makeup. Keys began to change herself to fit into a persona that the public would accept, hiding her true self behind a mask of makeup. For every woman who feels empowered by makeup, there exists another who feels trapped by it. Alicia Keys believes that every woman should be able to choose whether she wants to wear makeup or not, and shouldn’t be judged for doing either. Every woman deserves a man to ruin her lipstick, not her mascara. — Charlotte Tilbury Need we say more? On a bad day, there’s always lipstick. — Audrey Hepburn Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up. — Audrey Hepburn Audrey Hepburn, classic film actress, beauty icon, and star of films like “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and “Roman Holiday,” knows a thing or two about beauty. She’s well-known for her doe-eyed look and thick eyebrows but claims that makeup can only help a woman’s beauty so much. In this hilarious quote, she observes that makeup can enhance a person’s outer beauty, but can’t do much to help their inner beauty. Unless they munch on some eyeshadow. Lipstick is really magical. It holds more than a waxy bit of color – it holds the promise of a brilliant smile, a brilliant day, both literally and figuratively. — Roberta Gately Have a better relationship with your makeup and take the time to learn what your products will do. — Sam Fine All jokes aside, there is a brand called Bite Beauty (available at Sephora) that claims their ingredients are so natural, you can eat them. Though they don’t recommend you actually eat their lipstick (Why waste your money, anyway?), they assure customers that they don’t need to slather chemicals on their lips to achieve a gorgeous red, nude, or vampy lip. There are no rules when it comes to makeup — Kevyn Aucoin One of the first celebrity makeup artists, the late Kevyn Aucoin was a legend in the beauty world. His success came from his refusal to accept makeup conventions, a trait that would lead him to become a favorite of celebrities like Madonna, Cher, and Whitney Houston. If you frequent online beauty communities, it’s likely you’ve seen dozens of videos or articles titled, “The Dos and Don’ts of Makeup.” Some of the “rules” featured in those guides probably included “Don’t pair a bold eye look with a bold lip,” “Don’t match the color of your lipstick and eyeshadow,” “Don’t bring your blush above the cheekbone,” and countless others. But if one of the world’s most legendary makeup artists didn’t believe in those rules, why should you? In the age of Youtube and Instagram, we’ve seen neon green eyes paired with cherry red lips, entirely monochrome looks, and blush brought all the way up to the eye—and each look has been beautiful. Don’t let some arbitrary rules stifle your creativity! Eyebrows are the one thing you can get into shape without exercising Makeup is no different than clothes and accessories — it’s embellishments for your face. And it also gives you creative freedom. You get to have that moment in front [of] the mirror every morning and give yourself self-love. You’re making yourself up beautiful which is essentially self-love. — Michelle Phan When Michelle Phan a.k.a. the mother of the Youtube beauty community speaks, we listen! Michelle Phan was the OG beauty influencer, providing makeup tutorials to a world of blue eyeshadow and frosty lip gloss that sorely needed some beauty tips. Coming from a dysfunctional family, Phan rose to become a top Youtuber and founder of her own company, Em Cosmetics. In this quote from her interview with HuffPost Life, Phan places makeup in the same self-care category as using face masks and taking bubble baths. When doing your makeup, you’re giving your full attention to yourself and therefore indulging in self-love. Not many people may notice your new eyeshadow technique or fancy highlighter, but if it makes you feel proud and beautiful, that’s all that matters. Lipstick is the most valuable weapon in a woman’s make-up kit. It has the power to transform the appearance and mood of the person wearing it, and, at the same time, arouses the admiration of everybody else. — Monica Bellucci In an interview with Hello Magazine, Monica Bellucci, an actress and beauty icon, discussed her collaboration with Dolce & Gabbana on their new line of lipsticks. Bellucci might not be a makeup artist, but she knows the power of a good bold lip—one of her signature red carpet looks includes bright red lipstick! Eyeshadow, blush, and bronzer are all important, but none of them have the same influence on a makeup look as lipstick does. Each lipstick shade has a mood associated with it. For instance, red represents confidence and flirtatiousness, black represents fierceness, nudes represent natural beauty, and pink or orange represent fun and a carefree spirit. A simple lipstick change can change the way the whole world sees you!

#self care #self love

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cpspad · 5 years

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CHERYL PAI SPATIAL DESIGN 2019

Arataki Visitors centre:

Forest photos:

During the first week of studio, we visited the Arataki visitors centre. This allowed us take photos of our site and to understand the site better in order to build our models.

Abstract drawings:

During this studio, we drew out our ideas and thoughts of the Arataki Centre in abstract and made simple models from our drawings. Our group had an idea of creating this darkness to light aspect into our design We were inspired by a collabarative drawing on our thoughts on Te Po which we did an astronomical abstract drawing on back in week 2. We were indulged by the Maori stories about the astronomy and we noticed the curved drawings looked a bit like stars which the Maori used to find their direction around places. Furthermore, the trees that surrounded the Arataki visitor centre also inspired us especially the physical features of the native plant the koru which we also had implemented into our design.

Abstract model photos:

Contour models:

Final model:

PART II

KAIHANGA:

Kaihanga means creator which I chose to represented Rangi and Papa and the creation of the first person on Earth.

ABSTRACT:

Keywords: Cultural, Lighting, Historical, Earth and Sky, Experience

The Arataki visitors centre is known for its nature and cultural designs. Our society is becoming more and more distant with the nature and histories of our land. Lacking awareness on the Kauri die back and rejecting the landscapes. Touring through the spaces of Arataki may feel a bit gloomy for visitors, something that may be changed by the use of different lighting, capturing the natural scenery outside. My design in the Spatial Fabrication Studio paper is to bring out the ambience between darkness to lightness, linking it to the legend of Ranginui and Papatuanuku, how Earth god is connected to the Sky god, creating an atmospheric experience for the visitors to understand and appreciate the cultural and historical presences in the Maori culture.

Through my methods of modelling and drawing, I have designed an intervention which allows the visitors to experience and appreciate the significance of the history of the Maori legends and their beliefs. Linking the Earth mother to the sky father and creating a diorama, allowing visitors to gain a better understanding on the legends of Ranginui and Papatuanuku. These texts have led me to conceptual designs that helps me tie in the indigenous Maori history and culture of a specific space of the Arataki visitors centre.

RANGINUI AND PAPATUANUKU STORY:

The Māori creation story begins with a description of darkness and nothingness, out of which Ranginui, the sky father, and Papatūānuku, the earth mother, emerge. Initially, earth and sky are joined together, and their children are born between them. But the children conspire to separate their parents, and this allows light to flow into the world. The movement from darkness to the world of light is therefore achieved by the separation of the parents by the children.

CONCEPT:

Culture is an important aesthetic at the Arataki Visitors centre. The legend of Ranginui and Papatuanuku dictates the core of the Maori culture. I would like my intervention to suggaest appreciation and mindfulness and to remind us to appreciate the beauty and story behind these as it shows that they have lived well and have been looked after. These stories may be old, but they are still known for various of reasons. Looking back at the contour forest model our group made during the first prt of our project, I chose to redesign the second floor, creating a diorama that allows the visitors to understand the story of Ranginui and Papatuanuku. I hoped to create an experience which can allow my visitors to feel like they are in their story, creating and experience where we are able to see the diorama and imagine what it’s like to feel like you are part of the story.

PLANNING:

The concept of my first design was to create an ambience between the darkness and lightness aspects. Being indulged by the Maori stories about the astronomy and how stars were used as their way of finding their direction around places. This idea intrigued me as it brought me into my design more, furthermore, it enhanced my ideas and allowed me to design a pole that connects to a carving of a Maori patterned star, linking up to the second floor with rays like sun rays connected to the roof that lights up, showing the connection of the earth mother to the sky father, and how that then leads to a room full of dioramas lit up, creating and experience of going from a dark space to a lighter space filled with stories that allows the visitors to see and imagine themselves.

I opened up a window as you walk up from the first floor to the second floor allowing the visitors to experience the ambience of the darkness to lightness and also being able to see the beautiful landscapes outside the Arataki Centre.

PHOTOS OF DIORAMA PROCESS:

FLOOR PLAN:

ELEVATIONS:

SECTIONS:

PERSPECTIVE DRAWINGS:

FlNAL:

WALL MODELLING PROCESS:

For the wall layers, I created the wind layer and an air gap behind the framing which joins to the exterior wall. I measure and cut off small timber pieces to stick on to create a timber flooring look.

FINAL MODELS:

1:100:

1:10:

Creating artificial lighting in the top middle of the dioramas, allowing a gradience of the darkness to lightness ambience.

My design project is called Kaihanga which means Creator as For my intervention I designed a diorama that tells the story of Rangi and Papa, the earth mother and sky father and how our land was created. Coming from another culture and being raised on a land I wasn’t born in, ive always been interested in the different cultures, legends and beliefs the maoris still look back on now a days. So in my design, I was hoping to create an experience that allows the visitors to experience the cultural and historical atmosphere and to come out gaining a better understanding on the importance of appreciating what is left for us.

I chose to stick with wooden materials for my outer wall because as wood ages, u get to see the patterns of grains and sometimes it sparks a sense of mysteriousness to what it’s been through and I wanted to create that sort of experience. I created a movable wall in the wider space of the second floor, the first area you see as you walk up to the second floor so if there are other exhibitions, they can use the wall to either seperate the area or even stick stuff on the wall to create another seperate exhibition.

For my wall layers, I’ve shown the framing, wind layers and air gap in between my interior and exterior walls, In the first part of this project, our group decided to keep the first floor darker but create more lighting for the second floor. To do this in my design, I opened up the windows that go up from the first floor to the second floor as you walk up the stairs so visitors are able to see the landscape outside as they walk up and also experience that ambience between the darkness and lightness aspects which goes from a darker entrance from the first floor to the second floor where the window allows natural lighting and seeing the landscape outside followed by the diorama exhibitions which will have a single lighting shining from the middle top of each diorama as I like how it focuses on a specific object and fades darker on the sides. The small panels in front of each diorama are informations on what the dioramas are and finishing off with a seating area at the end for the visitors to rest.

I would like to use and stick to cardboard materials for the dioramas as it is fragile and I would like to show and link that to how our nature is also fragile, just like how as wood ages, grain patterns start to appear showing that its getting older and I would like the visitors to appreciate what we still have around us.

REFLECTION:

During the process of this project, there were many times where I struggled with coming up with an ideal intervention. I started off with a variety of ideas and designs but none that I seemed to be satisfied with. After having a few talks with the tutors, I decided to design a diorama which allows the visitors to appreciate the cultural aspects of the Maori culture.

By using cardboard and paper, I wished to show the delicacy and how fragile our nature is. I would like everyone who visits the Arataki visitors centre to experience the cultural and historical atmosphere in my intervention and to come out, gaining a better understanding on the importance of appreciating what is left for us. Methodally, I hope to design a fragile yet being able to narrate the powerfulness of these materials in the space.

After all these trials I decided to use clay and made a light using the piercing technique. I started off with wet clay so its easier to pinch the shapes and holes i wanted. Trying to get the overall shape of the light to be so straight was actually the most difficult for me as the soft clay wobbled around a lot, preventing me from creating the shape I wanted, so I waited for the clay to dry up a little first, so it wouldnt be as soft before continuing making my shape.

Overall, I really enjoyed this project eventhough I had a rough start to find out what I actually wanted to make and how I would apply those ideas and techniques into one design, but as i got into it I grew to really enjoy this part of the project, being able to play around with different materials, and making a meaningful diorama of my own. This course has taught me a lot.

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sparklemybuttercream-blog · 7 years

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Wedding Speech - Joe Sugg Imagine

A/N - Hi can you do a Joe one where it's the reader and his wedding and the buttercreams do a really embarrassing speech for them x If you don't want to or can't that's fine ❤

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride” My smile grew even bigger as I felt Joes lips on mine. Hearing everyone around cheering and clapping, I felt the tears building in my eyes. I finally married my best friend.

Walking down the aisle hand in hand with my now husband smiling and waving to all our friends and family. My feelings right now wouldn’t process. I am literally over the moon with happiness. All I could hear were people cheering “Yes Sugg” “Go On My Boy” and a few faint cries. I still cannot believe this is my wedding day. The wedding day I have been planning since a little girl. I was now living it out. Everyone else was gathered into another room with champagne, me and Joe were guided around the building for photos. We had photos on the stairs, in arch ways, in the gardens, and in front of the country side view. We were then joined by the bridesmaids who happened to be my sister and Zoe, the groomsmen Caspar, Josh, Oli, Jack, Conor, Mikey and our parents. Lastly We had photos with the whole group and I stood there being grateful to be surrounded by the people i love most.

While everyone moved to the reception room to take their seats, me and Joe waited back a bit giving everyone time to settle.

“I cannot believe we did it” Joe turned to look at me with a beaming smile.

“I’m still in shock, I’m generally so happy” I smiled back taking his hand in mine.

“After 6 years of being together and 8 years of friendship I can officially call you a Sugg”

“I finally fit in the Sugg family!” I cheered laughing.

“You’ve always been classed as a Sugg babe”

“But now we have it in writing”

“This is the happiest ive ever been, even though we’ve been in a relationship for so long, our next adventures start now”

“Our honeymoon, new house, new projects. Im so excited”

“Same love, it’s going to be something to treasure”

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“Are you two ready to go in?” The staff member asked. We glanced to each other and nodded. We followed the member of staff and waited behind the doors until we were told to go any further.

“Can i have your attention” The staff member started. “We’re all there to celebrate the newly weds, so please put your hands together for Mr and Mrs Sugg!” We walked in and everyone was on their feet, cheering. Glad we got someone to film this day, I can look back and remember this moment for a life time. We took our seats in front of everyone while they all settled down and allowed us to get comfy. After all the food was served and drinks were topped up Zoe got out her seat to walk in front of the table with a microphone in her hand.

“Hope you all are having a good time!” A few yeah’s and whistles flew around the room. “To kick off this evening, we are now going to move onto the speeches” Zoe turned to smirk at us both while i groaned and Joe nervous laughing knowing how embarrassing this was going to be. We watched as Josh took to the stage first also smirking as Zoe handed him the mic.

Joe placed hand on my leg and lent in close. “You know this is going to be interesting”

“I’m dreading it” I laughed turning to face Josh and linking my hand with Joes.

“I get the pleasure of starting this off. I remember meeting you Joe for the first time then i didn’t leave your apartment for months. I basically followed you and Caspar round like a lost dog. You used to get grumpy when i finished your milk or i didn’t wash up after myself. I can clearly say you haven’t changed. You’ve been a good friend buddy you’ve helped me through a lot of shit and i’m grateful to have a friend like you. I’m glad you found a girl like Y/N, she’s kept you in place but at the same time you’re still the Sugg i first met. Y/N you have a lot of work now that your married, he’s going to become even more lazy. You’re a talent women and you’ve been there to listen when i needed someone to. You’re like my sister and I wish you both the best for the future. Ill be round soon so you can cook me food” I’m glad Josh went first because he wouldn’t embarrass us. He’s the nice one out them all.

Next was Mikey.

“Cor i get to do a speech. I’ve always been the target and now i can target you two. You’ve been good friends to me over the past few years. Despite the bad things Joe has made me do or forced me to do such as having a leaf blower in my face to wearing tight red lacy boxers to trying to light my farts. I’ve even had to eat dry protein powder ruining one of my many black t-shirts. Joe your crazy ideas make you as a person, you’re one heck of a guy and you are very lucky to have Y/N, anyone would be. Y/N thanks for looking after me making sure i have eaten. No wonder i cant shed weight. I look forward to raiding your new sweets draw by the way”

Next was Conor.

“I would like to thank Y/N for introducing me to Joe, because of you i made a great friend and because of Joe I made even more. Y/N i would like to thank you for staring in so many of my covers and even on my album. I mean i still say i have the better voice but I’m not going to judge. I cannot believe you two are married now, I’ve seen your relationship grow these past years and I look forward to having something like this. You two are literally a perfect match. Joe i dont even know what to say about you. You are one of the most hilarious down-to-earth guys i know. You deserve to be happy. I’m glad it’s Y/N who has to deal with your strange ass. I’m surprised she can handle it. She has to wake up to you farting, coming home drunk but then again thinking about it you are both as crazy as each other. I remember coming round once and you both swapped clothes pretending to be each other. That was a weird sight. I wish you both the world of happiness you both deserve it”

Next was Jack.

“Suggy got married! To a gorgeous girl also i should have started youtube sooner maybe i could of snatched her. Im joking im joking. Seeing how happy you two are together makes me want this but it also makes me sick but in a good way. You are both good friends to me i couldn’t ask for better people in my life. Well sometimes i could replace Joe after what he’s made me do. Clamping my hand, sticking sellotape to our heads and ripping it out our hair and daring me to run down the street naked. I hope you enjoy people licking your ears Y/N because Joe will be doing that a lot when he’s drunk. trust me. I remember Joe telling us he was going to propose and how nervous he was. You should of heard the other plans he had. They weren’t as romantic. Y/N thank you for appearing in my videos to give me more views. Thanks for the many shout outs too. Like i said, you’re a beautiful women inside and out i know how happy Joe makes you. You’re both weird and I’m glad i know you. Hears to the future”

Next was Oli.

“Mr Joe Sugg? The Joe i know is actually married now! It feels so weird saying that. I’ve known you for so long and you haven't changed one bit in a good way though! You both have helped me through a lot over the years with projects, videos, and life in general. I do appreciate it. Joe you are an absolute nutter. Seriously. I couldn’t ask for a better friend what friend would draw penis’ on your body or do jump scares every time we meet or would make me stay up will ridiculous times in the morning to set up pranks. I mean what friend would have a cardboard cut out of me? You better move that into your new home. I’ll always be watching then. Your relationship is probably the strongest i know. You’re both so open and that can be taken in different ways. I’ve seen them both naked. It was a few strange moments. Some moments i wish i could take back because i can still see them imagines in my head to this day. I also remember when i turned up at your apartment Joe was wearing this horse costume and Y/N was dressed like a cowgirl. I didn’t want to ask what went on. They said it was for a video but i dont believe that. I dont like to think what goes on in their minds. Moving on, Y/N you are one in a million you’ve been that one friend i can always rely on even if i’m in a bad mood you put up with me and i can speak on behalf of the other guys as well. You have so much patience and i respect you for that. You have a wonderful mind and a heart of gold. You are both lucky to have each other and im glad to call you both my best friends”

Lastly, Caspar.

��“I would like to start off with thanking Y/N for breaking my heart, you killed jaspar. I’m joking jaspar will always be round. I have known you both since we all started Youtube together. Remember our gang when we first started? The 3 of us, Zoe, Alfie, Tanya, Jim, Marcus, Niomi and Louise. Then it grew bigger. But look at the two of you now, i know you both never expected to get this far in life. I respect the both of you because you don’t take the famous title seriously, you just see yourselves as normal human beings doing something you love. It’s been amazing watching you both grow and seeing the success you’ve achieved. I couldn’t have wished it on better people. Joe, You are one or the bestest friend i could ask for. You are also one of the craziest dudes i know. Very spontaneous also. I could stand here all day and tell all our stories but i don’t want to bore you. Thank you for being my travelling buddy over the years. I’ve had some of the best memories with you such as doing Hit The Road. What an experience that was ay? and for everyone’s information i am still the best pizza maker here. Im not thankful for the pranks though. Filing my room with cups of water, setting many alarms, posters of my face all over the walls, filling the room with balloons then Oli popping out with a clown outside and the best one turning my apartment into a slip and slide. I’m also not going to miss seeing you naked when i walk into your room. I am defiantly not going to miss hearing you and Y/N have sex either. You loud buggers. The amount of times i’ve walked in on you both, i still do it today it’s like a curse! Y/N, i still remember meeting you for the first time. You were so shy and timid and now, now i cannot get you to shut up. You are like a boy only when it comes to burping though. Ive seen you when you only had a few thousand subscribers and now you are the top female Youtuber in the UK. I am so proud of your achievements. You seriously deserve it. If i ever needed cheering up i knew you were and still are the person to text or call. You are a positive soul. You and Joe have always been perfect for each other. You are literally the same person. I hope you both the best as a married couple. I love you both.”

I continued to wipe away the tears which were flowing from my eyes. I couldn’t of asked for better friends or a better husband.

#Joe Sugg #joe sugg imagine #ThatcherJoe #Caspar lee #caspar lee imagine #Josh Pieters #josh pieters imagine #Oli White #oli white imagine #Conor Maynard #Conor Maynard Imagine #jack maynard #jack maynard imagine #Mikey Pearce #mikey pearce imagine #zoe sugg

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a-calm-night · 7 years

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MY BREAST REDUCTION 2017

INTRODUCTION: One of the first things I did when I began considering surgery was google other people’s experiences. It was instrumental in deciding that it something I wanted to do, and took away a lot of the fear and uncertainty out of the decision. If those people hadn’t taken the time to put their experiences into written words I may not be where I am now, so hopefully by doing this I can help another big-boobed individual take their first step to a more comfortable life.

I was totally flat-chested until I was about 14-years-old, and then in the span of 6 months shot through the ranks until I could no longer accurately determine my size. I knew one thing though, because every fucking person who laid eyes on me felt the need to tell me: they were big. I’ve had a lot of shitty experiences because of my body; from being referred to as ‘Tits’ by boys I thought I had become familiar enough with that they would bother to remember my name, to being called a slut on multiple occasions by a friend’s mother all because I dared to show a little cleavage (which is hard not to do when they’re that size. Now that I’m older I can’t believe that an adult would say that to a young teenager. Seriously disgusting behaviour). I know that in their own convoluted way most of the time when people made comments they meant it as some sort of compliment but by the 500th time you hear that shit its like, look, I KNOW they’re big, okay? I LIVE WITH THEM. I KNOW THEY’RE BIG. STOP. TELLING. ME.

Then there’s the physical aspect of it all where everything hurts all the time and you can’t run or jump around or dare to move too quickly. Theres’s the back issues and the shoulder issues and the neck issues and all the rest of it. That sucked too, but to be honest it was always the mental and social side of things that bothered me the most.

I’d say I was around 17 when I first started looking into surgery. I kept telling myself that I wanted to do it and that I would do it but just kept putting it off out of fear and aversion to being cut open. I’m 21 now, and it was in January this year that I kicked myself into gear and started making actual moves towards it. I’d started taking anti-depressants a few months before that time and I think that having that extra motivation, confidence and energy was a huge catalyst.

THE SET UP: I went to my GP and asked for a referral. The GP asked me some question re: why I wanted a reduction, why I thought I needed one etc and once she was satisfied asked me if there were any surgeons I had in mind. I’d done some research and picked out a surgeon in my city that I liked the look of. She was one of the only Docs in Adelaide that actually had a gallery of her surgeries on her site to look at, and she had over 10 years experience specialising in breast augmentation - you can look at her website >here< if you want. The GP recommended another local surgeon who I had also already looked into, but a lot of her reviews said she had an attitude problem and as someone who has difficulty even making eye contact with people I really didn’t think I could handle that, so I asked for a referral for my pick instead.

Dr. Anderson had gone away for the new year, so it wasn’t until March that I was able to get in to see her (or February, or maybe April? My memory is really fuzzy on that for some reason). Anyway, when I had my appointment with her she took a look at my breasts. Her thoughts were that they were too large for my frame, with quite a lot of asymmetry (which is correct, I’d say my left side was a good 2 or 3 cups smaller), and that genetically they’d grown more on the top that the bottom which had resulted in a saggier appearance (also true, my nipples were far too low). Then she sat down with me and explained what the procedure would be and how she would do it. She asked me some questions about my health and family history, and gave me some information sheets. It was quite fast-paced but not in a rude way - it was just another rodeo for her while for me it was something life changing. After we were finished I went out to the front desk and the receptionist lady asked me if I wanted to book my surgery there and then, or take some time to think about it. I’d liked Dr. Anderson and was already set on my course of action so I decided to book my surgery date on the spot. Originally I was set for the 16th of May but due to some education I was fulfilling at the time I later had to move it to September the 18th. The suspense was maddening, I just wanted to get it over and done with.

THE SURGERY: Dr. Anderson decided to go with an ‘Anchor’ incision for my surgery, with some liposuction on the right-hand-side where I had some excess fat on the connection from my armpit to my breast. The anchor incision is described as:

The “anchor” breast reduction incision pattern follows around the perimeter of the areola, moving to a vertical line from the areola down to the breast crease, and then horizontally along the breast crease.

But how I would describe it is that she cuts underneath the boob fold, then in a line up and around the nipple. Y’know, like an anchor shape. She then takes out the excess breast tissue, and brings the nipple upwards to a more aesthetically balanced area before sewing everything back together. Then everything gets taped up with hyperfix dressings. Drains are inserted to take away the excess fluid your body produces to replace what is lost, and are removed 24 - 48 hours after surgery.

THE ACTUAL SURGERY: I was told to check into the hospital 6.30am. I woke up at 2.30 that morning freaking the fuck out. I was determined and excited, but still scared. Of course I’d entertained the thought that everything could go horribly wrong and was getting flashbacks to the unhealthy amount of ‘Botched’ episodes I’d been watching leading up to The Big Day.

This next section is very long so I’m going to do dot points to seperate it out a bit.

- Check into hospital. Sign in at desk, fill out some paper work. I’d had to fill out and send in a booklet of admittance information detailing things like my height, weight, current medication, living address, next of kin etc so they already had most of my information.

- Nurse comes to take me up to the second waiting area, where I sat for maybe 10 minutes before a different nurse took me into the pre-operative area. She took my weight and then we went into a curtained-off room where she went through and confirmed the information I’d given them and had me sign some consent forms. She gave me my hospital gown to change into and one of those towel-fabric dressings gowns, and a blanket. I also had to wear these super sexy surgery stockings that went up to my groin and were very tight, to stop blood clots from forming during surgery. Then she painted me up with this detol-like disinfectant and left to let it dry.

- Dr. Anderson comes in a draws up her incision patterns. The anaesthesiologist also came in and asked a few questions like when I’d last eaten and if I was a smoker, confirmed my weight and height and some other details. Dr. Anderson took a ‘before’ photo and left to get scrubbed in. - Man comes in and gets me set up in a wheelchair and a heated blanket before rolling me across the hospital to the room where they’d be performing the surgery. There was a little room with a bed that I got into and was introduced to one of the nurses who’d be assisting, and she confirmed my info again before I was taken into the operating theatre.

- Lay down on the operating table and meet the other guy who’s assisting. At my initial appointment with Dr. Anderson after I decided to book my surgery with her they had me fitted with a post-operative surgery bra, which they now laid underneath me so they could easily do up after they were done.

- The anaesthesiologist put an IV in my arm and put a mask up to my face and told me I would fall asleep in a few seconds. That was a strange experience. I was totally awake one second and then I tasted this awful acidic taste, was hit with a brief but blinding headache and then boom... gone.

- Next thing I know I’m waking up and there’s this absolute angel of a nurse (who I never actually saw ‘cause I had my eyes closed the whole time but her voice became my crutch in that first post-op hour) asking me if I wanted some water and showing me where my pain relief button is. Apparently I had a lot of pink surgery paint on my face which she made a valiant effort to remove and put some lip balm on my lips because they were super dry and I was really dehydrated, not having had any food or liquid since the day before (gotta fast before surgery so that you don’t choke on your vomit while your under anaesthetic).

- I was in that post-op area for maybe an hour? I was drifting in and out of unconsciousness and doped up so my perception of time was pretty screwy. I just remember angel-nurse telling me my room was ready and that she would be guiding the bed there. Apparently the beds have sensors or something that follow marks on the floor so all the nurses have to do is press a button and the bed drives itself, thought that was pretty cool.

- They took me into my room and I fell asleep again until I hear my mum’s voice asking the nurse how I was doing. It was a few hours later and she’d come in to visit. The hospital staff were doing their afternoon tea round so I had a coffee and some cake, and more water. I literally cannot describe how thirsty I was, even hooked up to an IV drip. Mum sat with me for like an hour but I kept passing out on her so we decided there wasn’t much point in her hanging around.

- The nurses came in once every hour to take my blood pressure, temperature, and oxygen levels. I had an IV in my left arm and another tube I think was probably the pain relief. The drains were coming out from both sides just underneath my armpits but they were really thin and I didn’t even realise they were there until I went to the toilet later and had to hold onto the collection bags. I had a blood-pressure cuff wrapped around my other arm so that they didn’t have to bother me to connect it every time they came in, and an oxygen reader clipped to my finger, and I had a vice grip on my pain relief remote. I didn’t actually use it all that much but it was comforting knowing that it was there. I also had these weird massage things connected to my legs to keep the blood flowing.

- I pretty much slept for the first 6 hours or so, drifting in and out and waking when the nurses came to check all my stats. The lady I was sharing a room with was watching the news, I had a TV too but I didn’t want to turn it on and have the sounds clashing together so I just listened to hers mostly. I had my phone on the table connected to my bed but I felt to groggy to really use it. They brought in some dinner (tomato pasta and mash) I thought it tasted pretty good. I’m not sure if hospital food just has a bad rap or if it was because I was SO hungry.

- My roomie left around 7pm and I had the room to myself after that. One of the nurses came in and folded back the room dividers and curtains so I could see out the windows, which was a nice thought. The hospital is up on a hill so you get a view of the highway and the city in the distance so it was nice to have something to look at. I didn’t sleep much that night but I’d been sleeping all day anyway and was still kind of dopey so I wasn’t that bothered.

- Morning eventually came around and I had some breakfast and the nurses came in and asked if I was feeling up to going home. I had the option to stay another night but I was feeling pretty good and just wanted to go home to my own bed. Dr. Anderson came in checked everything out, and the nurses got me set up with my prescribed pain killers. They took out the drains, which didn’t hurt nearly as much as I’d been dreading. It was more of a strange and uncomfortable pulling sensation. The lady taking them out had me take a deep breath and exhale as she pulled them out, which is a technique I would highly recommend.

- I was discharged around 10:30am, went home to bed, had some lunch, and slept a lot. You’re supposed to sleep sitting somewhat upright which was a lot easier in hospital with the adjustable bed, but at home I had to prop myself up with pillows which was pretty uncomfortable but for the first day or two I was too tired to really care. Later, I ended up sleeping on a beanbag but this post is long enough already so I’ll make a seperate one detailing the recovery so far.

THE PAYMENT: I live in South Australia so my experience with this is probably vastly different from someone who lives in another country, or even another state. I’m lucky enough to have private health insurance which means that I didn‘t have to pay for the hospital stay itself, and was able to get some of the other fees at a lower rate.

There were three categories of payment: The Surgeon, the anaesthesiologist, and the assistance fee.

In my case, the surgeon was owed $5000, the anaesthetic was $500, and the assistance fee was $750. I’ll be getting some money back from the Private Health fund from the assistance, but I’m not sure how much. $5000 for the surgeon is a bit more expensive than some of the others I looked into considering I can’t claim that payment with the PH, but I knew I wanted Dr.Anderson so I was willing to pay. Surgery... is expensive. I’m lucky enough to live at home with my parents who charge me only a pittance to live with them, and have a relatively stable income as an aged care worker. I’ve always been a hardcore money-hoarder (AKA, a cheapskate), and knowing that surgery was something I wanted gave me the extra motivation to save enough to pay for it all.

That being said, if you live in Australia you can go through this procedure under medicare! The reason I chose not to do this is because I wanted to choose my surgeon myself, choose which hospital the procedure was done in, and choose when the surgery itself would be performed. I don’t have all the info on this but its my understanding that through medicare you don’t have much of say in who, where, or when its done. One of my coworkers is getting her mammoplasty done through medicare so if anyone wants more info regarding this, I can ask her no worries :)

This is all a lot longer than I had intended for it to be and I’ve been writing for hours so I’ll stop myself here. I am almost at the one-month post-op milestone so I’ll write a seperate post detailing my recovery in a few days.

If anyone has any questions regarding this surgery please, please, feel free to ask. It makes it so much less scary and easier if you have someone you can grill for info, and I’m happy to be that person for anyone considering surgery no matter what stage you’re in. Having this surgery is honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself and I really encourage anyone who wants it to look at all their options, because now that its done I cant imagine having to carry that weight around for the rest of my life.

Before I forget, I was somewhere around a 12E before have come down to a 10DD at this stage. Doesn’t seem like that big of a difference but they will likely go down again as the swelling reduces. They took 400~ grams from my left and 600~ from my right. I feel fantastic :)

#Breast Reduction #mammoplasty #Breast Augmentation #Breast lift #Surgery

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kerrylifeandloves · 5 years

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Sometimes, you visit a place that weaves its way under your skin. Something that you see or experience leaves such a lasting impression on you, that it somehow puts a kink in your DNA. It moves you, teaches you, and you know that there will always be a file labeled xyz in your brain. Well a visit to the Jewish Quarter in Prague did this to me. It broke me down a little, then put me back together, but slightly differently than I was. Iv spoken before about how I feel travel helped shape the person that I am today in this post, Why I Feel Travel Can Be The Key To Growth and Wellbeing. This trip to Prague has just placed another layer. Let me tell you all the wonderful things Prague has to offer, and why Prague is the city that changed me a little.

Prague has so much to offer, and depending on the time of year you go, you can find the city not as crowded as you may expect. I spoke to you about the basics of our trip in this post, Your Guide To Prague in The Autumn – The practical stuff, so in this post I will be letting you know about the things you can do to make the most of a visit to this gorgeous city. Bursting with history and culture, everyday was a school day for us. Im not going to give you our full itinerary, but I will share with you the things I think are a must do in Prague.

The Jewish Quarter;

The Synagogue’s

I had read up on the Jewish Quarter before arriving in Prague, so I knew that it was an area had a torrid history. In the 13th century, Jewish people were made to leave their homes, and made to all settle and live in one area. Over the years, Jews expelled from various other countries were made to live in this area, as they were banned from living anywhere else in Prague. During Hitler’s occupation, he wanted the area preserved as a kind of “museum of an extinct race”. The Jewish Quarter has six synagogue’s and these (except the Old-New Synagogue, which requires an additional ticket) form part of the walking tour or entrance only tickets that you can pay to do. We chose to do the entrance only tickets, which cost £12 each, as we wanted to go around at our own pace. You can read more about the options, walking tours etc here. You can also do walking tours which are free, and you just pay a tip to the guide. We didnt do one ourself, but saw lots of them going around. Lots of options of the free tours throughout Prague can be found here.

We went into 4 of the six synagogue’s, and the Pinkas synagogue, built in the 1500’s, was my undoing. As soon as you walk in, the walls are covered, a floor to ceiling memorial, with names. These names, all 80,000 of them, were the names of the Jewish victims from the area, killed in Nazi occupation. That in itself was a shocking visual representation, but up on the first floor was where I lost all my composure. The upstairs concentrates on the fate of the Jewish children. There were photos of some of the children that were kept under house arrest in the area, before being taken off to the camps, and drawings that they had created. In an effort to try to keep a little bit of normality and fun for the children (that were not allowed out during the day, could only go out for one hour of a night time and were all expelled from school) the children were encouraged to draw. The drawings spoke a thousand words. Drawings of children being torn from parents. Drawings of children praying at the gates of freedom. Drawings of children crying with arms outstretched. It was harrowing. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I went from picture to picture, feeling like I owed these innocents my attention to their work. My heart was breaking for these lost souls, but I felt strongly that I owed it to them to learn their story. I felt devastated, but also in awe of the jewish people’s resilience and determination to never be made to not feel proud of their heritage. If you are on a cultural visit to Prague, I urge you to include the Jewish Quarter in your itinerary.

The Old Jewish Cemetery;

As one of the oldest Jewish burial grounds in the world, this too is a must see. The final resting place of up to 12,000 jewish people, the graves were sometimes 10 people deep as space was so very limited. Used as a burial ground between 1439 and 1800, it was the only place that Jewish people were allowed to be buried. Although its subject is obviously not the most uplifting, I found it to be beautiful, peaceful and incredibly poignant. As one of the most important parts of the Prague Jewish history, a visit to the cemetery is another must.

Charles Bridge;

You cannot come to Prague without walking across the famous Charles Bridge. The gothic bridge straddles the River Vltava, and separates the Old Town of Prague, and the Lesser Town (Mala Strana). The bridge, built in the 1300’s, is iconic as the 30 statues that were added in the 17th century are all stunning and significant. Some are even meant to bring you luck if you rub them, and you will see some of the statue’s rubbed to a shine where so many people are hoping for a slice of the luck. There is also a tower at either end of the bridge, which you can pay to climb up and see the City from another viewpoint. I adored the bridge. We even got up at 6am one morning to go and see the City wake up from the bridge. It was so calm and peaceful and I think I fell a little in love with Prague that day.

Prague Castle;

In Mala Strana, you can gain access to Prague Castle. This beautiful building, visible from almost anywhere in Prague town even on a misty, grey day, also has the breathtaking St Vitus cathedral in it. Entrance to the castle will cost you around £12 each, depending on what you want access to. There are a few options available, and we went for the top one.

The origins of the castle date back to 880, with various additions in the 10th and 14th centuries. It is said to be the largest castle complex in the world, and it is huge. It used to be the residence of Kings and Emperors, but since the 1900’s was used for presidents, before becoming a cultural monument of Prague in 1962. The castle is also where you will find St Vitus cathedral and Golden Lane. If you make the trip to the castle, I would advise going early to beat the queues. We went to the castle on the day that we got up for sunrise. A walk across Charles Bridge, then up the hill to the castle will take you maybe half hour. The hill is pretty steep, but you can stop half way for a cuppa, like we did…….

St Vitus cathedral;

I think I will always remember the moment I walked into St Vitus. It. Is. Stunning. Breathtakingly stunning. You know I am a fan of architecture if you have been with me for a little while, and this was everything! This gothic church is the most important church in the whole country, and contains the tombs of many Bohemian kings and holy Roman Emperors. Visually, the outside of the cathedral is beautiful, interesting and almost princess like. Inside, it has so much going on within it that I would be here until next month telling you all the details. It is an absolute must to go to if you are in Prague. Again, going early should mean that you are not over whelmed with crowds. Visit the cathedral first before continuing round the castle as it gets very busy as the days goes on.

Golden Lane;

The tiny houses on Golden Lane were built to house the servants and defenders of the castle. The houses were occupied right up until WWII, and famous writers have been known to live there, hoping to spark creativeness and inspiration. The 16th century homes all have a story to tell and I loved looking into each one. The houses are all numbered, and some of the residents were a fortune teller, Madame de Thebes in number 14, (arrested by the German Secret Police and killed during interrogation) a Red Musket solider in number 13, house number 12 had a basement area that was used as a prison, and one of the first houses in the lane was inhabited by an “alchemist” that was commissioned to make an elixir of youth! I loved walking down the lane, and the tiny houses gave a great insight into how the people of earlier centuries lived.

Some Free things to do in Prague;

Walking across Charles Bridge is obviously free, but there a a few other things that wont hit the pocket, but are worth doing. Just walking around the streets looking at the architecture made me happy! There is so much detail in the buildings!.

Mala Strana;

Mala strana is the part of Prague at the other end of Charles Bridge. Known as “Lesser Town” Nik and I really liked it over this side. It was a lot calmer, and it felt very quaint and traditional. It also is where you will find the ever changing Lennon Wall, the Infant Jesus of Prague and the bank where all the rivers swans congregate.

The Lennon Wall is a wall that is a tribute to the late John Lennon. People come to the wall to pay their respects and it is covered with drawings, song lyrics, tributes and fantastic graffiti. It is ever changing as layers of drawings and painting are on top of each other. You also have the church of Our Lady Victorious that houses the famous Infant Jesus. This 16th century statue attracts people that make the pilgrimage to see it and pray with it, from all over the world.

We also visited the Strahov Monastery, which is still a serving monastery and resided in by monks. The monastery is absolutely beautiful, and home to a fantastic selection of religious art and artefacts. The art has a lot of history behind it as much of the art is slowly being clawed back by the monastery. The collection was stolen from them over the years, and by several countries and leaders. The monastery has about 3/4 of its collection back now. You will also be able to try some amazing blueberry larger here. Brewed on the premises, by the monks, I could have happily stayed all day supping that. its blueberry, a super fruit, got to be good for you hasn’t it???

Old Town Square;

This is where Nik and I spent a lot of our time, and it is gorgeous. Home to the Astronomical Clock, you will see crowds gathering at the foot of the clock around every turn of the hour. This is because when the clock chimes the hour, the clock puts on a mechanical display that in the middle ages, was considered one of the wonders of the world. I must admit to being a little underwhelmed by the performance, but the 600 year old clock itself is a work of art.

You also have the beautiful, fairy tale Church of our Lady before Tyn in the Old square. This church is another beauty, and again, famous in any photo you see of Prague. Another gothic building, the church was started in the 14th century, but not finished until the 16th. It is beautiful and it was my husbands favourite landmark in Prague. If you want to go inside the church, have a look at the opening hours fairly early on in your trip as the hours its open are quite random. It is beautiful though, so worth a look inside.

I literally could go on all day about things to do in Prague, but I am sure if you are still here, you are in need of a cuppa or something. I think I could visit Prague again, for the same amount of time, and still not get to do all the things that I would like to. That is the thing with a mini break isn’t it, so little time but so, so much to do! We had an amazing trip, and honestly think if you are thinking of going to Prague, all the things I have mentioned should be somehow popped onto your list.

So, thats it. My sum up of the fabulous things to do in Prague. I came home from Prague a little different. I feel an overwhelming desire to learn more about the Jewish people, and why they have been so persecuted throughout the years. I want to learn more of their customs and religion. I feel that it reminded me to aways show tolerance kindness and love to everyone. I left Prague a better person, and as the saying goes, travel is the only thing that you can spend money on that makes you richer. never have I felt that more keenly. How about you, have you experienced something that you felt changed you a little? Have you visited any of these places in Prague? Is Prague on your wish list to visit? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Prague – The City that Changed Me a Little Sometimes, you visit a place that weaves its way under your skin. Something that you see or experience leaves such a lasting impression on you, that it somehow puts a kink in your DNA.

#budget city break #city break #culture trip #prague #things to do in prague

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ozsaill · 6 years

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Holiday gifts that cruisers want

As avowed minimalists, this feels slightly awkward putting a post of holiday gifts together. But the reality is that there are useful needs to meet in a life afloat. This peek into what works hopefully aids those anticipating a similar path: a personal look what’s worked for us, and what’s on our wish list, as idea fodder for gifts to the the sailors in your life. It’s organized into four angles:

Best additions to Totem this year

Wish list: functional gifts

Wish list: what the crew really wants!

Especially for kids

I. Best additions to Totem this year

This is a shortlist of items that had the biggest positive impact on board in the last year. Some are practical, some are just for fun / quality of life, a few are a bit of both.

Paddleboard – finally got one on board after The Great Kayak Debacle of 2016. Weighing pros/cons, we picked the durability of a fixed board over a space-saving inflatable. A shorter (10’) Jimmy Styx model (year-end closeout!) is right-sized for our humans and has provided hours of fun and fitness. Siobhan paddles in front of Totem, photo at top.

Underwater dome lens – talk about bang for the buck. Only $50 to get some of my favoritest pictures ever. Just fit the GoPro inside and swim! It’s so flippin’ cool to have split images with above/below water…like this one showing Totem floating in crystal Bahamian water while a nurse shark dozes on the sand below.

Pic made possible with a dome port lens over GoPro. Me on deck, Jamie in the water; Staniel Cay, Bahamas.

Winches – Jamie likes to fondle our new Andersen stainless steel winches. No, seriously. Aside from the fact they are incredibly sexy mirror-finish stainless, the engineering of these makes them a better mousetrap, starting with guts that require less maintenance. Ribs on the drum don’t need as many wraps for sufficient friction, and they’re kinder to lines than conventional drum texturing. Jamie is all the warm fuzzies from that ribbed drum. I kinda want to get a lascivious picture of him with one.

Mantus scuba– we used to wish for dive gear on Totem, but it never made sense; a mix of upfront cost, equipment x 5 crew, limited space, and just not being die-hard divers. But we do really like getting underwater…a lot! Adding a pair of Mantus tanks has been perfect. Good fun for more marine exploring beyond our freediving skills, plus peace of mind as added safety equipment (invaluable if an anchor fouled below freediving depth / hang time capability).

Kids dive with Mantus scuba. There’s that dome port lens again too!

ACR ResQLink+. This personal locater beacon (PLB) was added to our safety kit for taking off to the Bahamas and beyond. My worst nightmare is losing on-watch crew overboard; I still worry when Jamie’s on watch and I’m “sleeping” off watch – these help me actually relax, knowing he’s basically attached to an EPIRB.

Drone – we picked up a Phantom 3 pro during the post-holiday-sales last year. I know, have been lame about sharing the footage (will provide room & board on Totem for anyone who can train us up!) but – WOW. The images are amazing! I love the bird’s eye view it offers of our life afloat! New Years Resolution: learn editing and share some videos. I’m not kidding about hosting someone who can school us! (Aline are you reading?! )

Culebra, Puerto Rico

Dinghy. When our trusty Avon finally gave up (well, it was 19 years old) in Thailand, the Highfield we replaced it with was… suboptimal. Not big enough, didn’t ride as well. A dinghy is one of the most frequently used bits of gear on board so we felt the gap. The 10.5’ AB (aluminum, double floor, bow locker) we picked up at Tradewind Yachting Services in Nanny Cay in September is AWESOME.

TOTEM shirts! New earlier this year, we adore these super-soft, organic cotton shirts and LOVE seeing people wear them. If you order Totem gear (Ts, caps and a hemp market bag too), send us a picture!

Show your (neutral, water-based) colors with a yummy soft Totem Tshirt!

II. Wish list: practical

The next set… well, they aren’t exactly sexy holiday gifts. But the way our family looks at the world is in more practical term (I just realized how crazy that probably sounds to a lot of readers- yes, chucking convention to live on a boat with no fixed address is very practical. Really!): these are the practical wish-list expenditures. Right now we’re saving all our pennies to transit the Panama Canal but; some of these we expect (chaps, shade) others are less likely.

Dinghy chaps. Fabric covers fitted to the hypalon tubes extend their life by preventing chafe and reducing UV exposure. These are labor intensive and custom made, haven’t rationalized this expense just yet.

Outboard. Dinghy theme lately? Our outboard has been struggling for over a year, something that dependably gets a full load on a plane would be sweet. This 15hp Yamaha would do us right.

Repaint Totem’s hull. It’s so beat up, the guys working in the shipyard in Grenada were laughing at us—all in good fun—and asking if they could give her a makeover! Hey, there’s a dugout canoe associated with almost every ding, those are good memories…OK yeah it would be nice to have a pretty boat again.

Cockpit shade. We have an AWESOME, pretty new (2016) bimini frame (thank you to the great guys at TurboXS!)…but it still lacks the whole fabric-shade-that-attaches-to-it part. It will be really nice to get the last mile of this addition completed.

Sailrite. We’ve gone back and forth on these durable sewing machines. Cons: machines need to be used to stay workable; they are heavy, and they take up a chunk of storage. But in the Pro column: Jamie could do a lot with one, like dinghy chaps and cockpit shade! He’s a sailmaker, used to be a hands-on in the pit guy and knows his way around a pro machine. Our M.O. to date: Jamie fixes other cruiser’s Sailrites that have stopped working after languishing in a locker by bartering for usage to get a project done.

Making our dodger soft sides in Jacksonville: thanks Patty!

Countertops. The formica installed in Thailand, unfortunately, is not good. It’s a long story. But the formica is nearly worn through, the trim wasn’t done right, and a bunch of other stuff. For the Someday files. Solid surfacing would be so dreamy!

Solid state external drives. The movable parts on hard drives, in computers and external drives, have shorter lifespans with the small constant motions of a boat. SSDs would be less prone to failure. The multiple of expense is unfortunate (and almost rationalized by failed drives!). The only downside: external SSDs are mostly small, so you’d need a bunch to accomodate all the photo and video files a family accumulates. Sample: this Samsung 2TB drive, ~$800.

III. Wish list: just for fun

What’s your heart’s desire? I asked everyone on board to contribute their “wish” gift idea for something they have zero need for, but a dose of desire. This turned out to be difficult: we are pretty good at being satisfied with what we have instead of craving what the boat next door has! But there are some great ways to be indulgent on board. The top five are our personal picks, the rest are from family brainstorming.

Niall: PADI dive certification. (shhh: I think we figured out how to do this affordably enough in Bonaire next month! He doesn’t read the blog – don’t spill the beans anyone!!)

Mairen: horseback riding. (still with the experiences. C’mon Mairen it’s about Stuff! She never got beyond “more art supplies then?”)

Siobhan: a puppy. KIDDING. Except she wasn’t. Her BATNA wish is to have any book she wants for a year. Qualified with “you know I use the library mostly.” People, she reads a LOT. Thank goodness for ebook loans from our hometown library!

Jamie: Code zero with a continuous line furler on a sprit. Because the sailmaker’s boat is a little bit like the cobblerss kids… often wanting. Here’s why Jamie thinks this is a winner sail for cruisers.

Behan: fancypants freediving fins, and lessons to go with them. (As long as we’re daydreaming, I’d learn from supermama and freediving champion Ashley Chapman at Evolve Freediving, with a whole- family lesson!)

More Totem crew wish-list picks that may generate ideas for giftees on your list:

Water-friendly drone. We’re having so much fun with the ‘regular’ drone, imagine one that lands on the water, or follows behind the dinghy – saltwater spray be damned?! This very cool looking Splash Drone 3 lands on the water and floats. Whoa. Or the QuadH2O: double whoa.

Mini home theater projector. We watched movies outside on the Delos deck once upon a time; I harbor dreams of hosting anchorage movie nights with a film displayed on a sail “screen.” One that’s bright enough, not to big, and doesn’t draw too much power, decent speakers…or 3 out of 4. Like this maybe (and wow, that’s a good price!)?

New computer. OK, not family but Jamie. The Toughbook that is our navigation computer doubles as his personal machine, but doesn’t play well with Windows 10. Newer models do. Still a big fan of Toughbooks for their durability on board.

Camera equipment. Better underwater shots with an Olympus Tough: the GoPro is awesome for environmental shots, but fails on macro, and those are fun to take underwater. Above sea level, I traded in all my Nikon gear to migrate towards Sony’s mirrorless a7 series, and will always be drooling over lenses.

A dozen Luci lights. We have one and it’s fantastic: indulgent wish list version,- how cool would a strand of them be hung tiki-light style around the cockpit?!

IV. Just for kids

The genesis of this year’s list is a question fom one of our coaching clients. Less than a year from taking off cruising and looking for Christmas gift ideas for their four children, they had this assignment for our kids: “What is 1-2 things do they wished they had or have had on the boat, and what are their favorite 3 things/toys they cannot live without?” Simplifying slightly I asked our kids what things on the boat were most important to them. Turns out phrasing matters. Answer #1: friends. Their friend showed up a few minutes later; asked the same questions she looked at me as if to say “duh” and said – “My family, of course.” It took a lot of prompting to come up with Things You Put Under a Christmas tree. But we got there, and this is good!

Quality snorkeling gear: mask, snorkel, fins…also good rashguard and wetsuits. Shorties are great for extending in-water time! Many cruisers (and most boat kids) spend a lot of time in the water; get good stuff that won’t fall apart, it’s harder after you leave. The kids really like the masks they got from Divers Direct in Florida this year, and they’re very reasonably priced (holiday sale: $40?!).

Beach fun: boogie boards and beach bocce are our favorites.

Fishing kit. Get kids their own tackle box, handline, a net to grab stuff that goes overboard; even a Hawaiian sling spear if they can handle it.

Field guides. Not kid books, but GOOD field guides. Identification of underwater life was a big hit from the time we started cruising with littles. Region-specific matters, I believe: the Gottshall two-book set is amazing for Pacific Mexico; DeLoach guides rule for the Caribbean: one for Reef Fish, one for Coral, one for, well, everything else (Reef Creatures).

Scooters. Bikes are impractical; kids like wheels and folding scooters fit. Utility varies by cruising grounds (not a lot of roads in some oceanic regions!), but these are great get-around fun.

Arts & crafts. I’m not very crafty, so packaged kits like Klutz are perfect for me. Getting good materials will serve you later: these watercolors are richly pigmented and last a long time. Oragami, beading, or whatever! There are lists for this in Voyaging with Kids.

Chocolate. Yes this was on their list. Clearly these are my children.

Board games, cards. Our current favorite is Dread Pirate (thank you Sallianne and Doug!). Try cooperative games! Family Pastimes games got us started… Pandemic is the classic. This post about games cruisers play lists a number of other favorites on board.

Legos. Our lego days are over, but the kids know these are huge for the younger set.

Totem and Utopia, rafted up for Thanksgiving last week: because 1) better with friends and 2) drones rock!

Want more ideas?

Here are the Christmas gift posts from the last few years. They’re all aimed at cruisers, but each with a slightly different take:

Gifts that give a little more (2016). Focusing on sourcing gifts that contribute in some way to a greater good than just the Thing.

Gifts under $50 for sailors (2015). Keeping the costs contained! OK, there was one item over $50.

Gifts for cruisers (2014). Tried & true: fun, functional gifts that cruisers can use.

from Sailing Totem http://ift.tt/2hURhhS via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Sailing Totem

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seanmeverett · 7 years

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50,000 Cellular Antennas & Your Health

A California bill is about to be passed that will increase the radiation exposure levels significantly

I. Setting the Stage

There’s a bill up for vote in the California legislature that will allow an estimated 50,000 cellular antennas to be installed across the state, from tops of buildings to light poles and even places close to your home. It’s already happened in Boston, and is about to happen on the west coast.

Many people are upset by it, including an activist who’s husband is suffering from brain cancer, but the bill is still slowly but surely making its way through the approval gates to be signed into law.

The reason they’re upset is because it will increase the wireless radiation levels throughout these cities. And the truth is we don’t yet know what, if any, damage that might cause to our health. What we do know for certain is that there is a biological response and some people are more sensitive to it than others. Just like some people burn in the sun faster than others.

This is a complex issue because, on the one hand, we want high speed internet on the go, but on the other, we also want to make sure we’re not harming ourselves in the process.

Thus, we’re sharing the story below about how we came across this knowledge, the impact it might have on our biology, the real science behind it, and how you can take action if you so choose.

II. What’s Happening in Boston

One of my longtime professional colleagues, August Brice, has been studying technology’s impact on our lives for a decade now. She urges people to pursue what she calls Tech Wellness. Mrs. Brice has spent a considerable amount of energy focused on the specific issue of wireless radiation, sometimes referred to as EMF’s.

Over the last 25 years, the amount of information-carrying radio waves we’re exposed to in our daily lives has skyrocketed. She’s the owner of a company called Safertech who’s Mission is “empowering safer living in a wireless world” by raising awareness and offering solutions to keep the mind, body, and spirit thriving in our connected world.

So, when I came across this new wireless antenna legislation that was about to be passed, she was the first person I contacted to find out more about what’s going out. It turns out she was in Boston over the weekend doing her own case study on the impact of the cellular antennas installed across the city over the last few years.

But before we explain what she found, a bit of education will help you put what comes next into context:

EMF: It’s an acroynm for an electromagnetic field. There are handheld measurement devices that you can hold close to things like a microwave or your home WiFi router to see the level of radiation eminating from different sources (see image/link below).

Standard EMF Levels: In an ideal world, you would have zero EMF signals and none of this would matter. But that’s simply not the world we live in. From Mrs. Brice’s extensive experience, an outdoor setting free of wireless cell towers will get you a reading of zero to 5 µW/m² (microwatts per meter squared). But a cellphone held against your head, depending on signal strength, can vary from 1,000 to 2,000 with lows in the hundreds and spikes up to 13,000 or higher.

Calibrated Wireless EMF Reader from SaferTech. If you purchase your own, have it accurately calibrated by an electrical engineer.

The readings she saw from her EMF Meter were not what she expected. Inside the Apple store was typical of most office buildings, but next to the table of iPads, readings jumped from 650 to 1,000.

When she went outside to test the ambient levels, expecting them to be close to the single digits, she got quite the surprise. It wasn’t even close.

The reading was 3,000. Outside. That’s 3x the level observed inside the Apple store. On some street corners, the reading was as high as 7,000.

The reason is because on nearly every street corner, there were wireless antennas attached to poles. So here’s the rub. You are, in fact, surrounded by wireless devices all the time. You just don’t realize it because you’re not holding them in your hand. They exist instead above your head.

youtube

I spoke with Mrs. Brice at length about her experience in the wireless radiation area. None of us want to live without technology, but its important to stay aware and be smart about things like online privacy, security and how tech affects our bodies. She summarized it rather succinctly:

I’m not a scientist, but I delved into the science as part of the journey to understand my own situation, my electro-sensitivity, and my desire to do something about it for myself and others. And because RF radiation (or information-carrying radio waves) are invisible and you can’t see them or touch them, I make it a pratice to carry an EMF meter with me to help people understand the prevalence of this invisible energy.

I create videos showing how devices emit RF energy, how that energy moves, how it changes, and ultimately, how it can be avoided. I seek credible EMF solutions for those who may be affected).

A wireless antenna installed on light poles in cities around the country to increase cellphone service quality at lower cost than much-larger tower antennas. The pole above is in Los Angeles, California. PHOTO: celltowerphotos.com

Mrs. Brice also did a bit more research after experiencing the impact of these installations in Boston and found this story in the Mercury News describing a Bill about to pass the California legislature that would ease permits for cell phone towers. They’re projecting 50,000 new cellular antennas.

With that level of increase in radiation, there’s bound to be similarly high readings of EMFs in California as detected in Boston. Again, this may not affect you, but we want you to be more informed of what’s happening in the environments where you live, work, and play.

A few resources so you can get smarter about what may be coming to California:

PDF of the approved small cell installation details

PDF license agreement between Verizon Wireless and the City of Boston

A local Boston news story about what was to come back in January 2016

III. The California Legislation

So what does this California Senate Bill 649 actually do? Well, for one you have to stay up to date with the written text because it has already been amended 5 times over the last 5 months. Based on my reading, there are two main points to note:

That communications infrastructure exist where people are, because it is an important local and national issue.

Small cell providers need to obtain permits and follow the health, safety, and aesthetic rules.

So, the bill is written with fairness in mind, but the question here is really, How do we define safety? The Bill does not give a definition, even though it represents a critical point in this debate.

Ellen Marks, for instance, is the activist founder of The California Alliance for Safer Technology, a vocal opponent to anything that will allow an increase in radiation levels. She had this to say about the status of the California Senate Bill 649:

It is going to full assembly probably end of this week. Then back to the Senate for concurrence next week. Then to the Governor. We are giving it our all; even hired a high priced lobbyist (was able to raise funds as people are so angry about this). If people want to reach out to assembly members it has to be ASAP. The Governor is really important.

So, if you’re on the side of not wanting this to happen in California, the time to act is now. Call up the legislature. But if you’re ok with it, then sitting back and doing nothing will likely mean it will pass.

IV. The Science

Dr. George Carlo, a researcher in the area of radiation’s effect on our biology who led a nearly $30M research program funded by the cell phone industry in the late 90s, has been Mrs. Brice’s science advisor and colleague for about a decade now. He has done a considerable amount of research into the area and could be considered by some as one of the leading experts on the topic.

We talked to him about this new California Bill and he had this to say about EMF:

The health effects aspect is complicated. There is now no doubt scientifically that radio waves carrying information trigger some type of biological response in almost everyone exposed. However, what happens after the triggering is variable.

For some people, the triggering causes debilitating biological cascades that manifest as EHS, other symptoms and frank disease. Some people are being adversely effected but don’t know it because they confuse common symptoms like headaches, anxiety, being short-tempered, dizziness, sleep problems, weight-gain, and low energy with other things in life and don’t connect it to wireless devices and the infrastructure.

Still other people have developed adaptive responses so they are not functionally impaired at all. It’s important for people to become informed so that they can figure out where they fit and then take steps accordingly.

We also found a PDF listing 134 scientific research studies of the biological effects of RF radiation where you can become more informed and draw your own conclusions.

Of course, you might have expected that some of this research has been aimed at trying to find a link between radiation levels and cancer. There was a partial study released in May 2016 by the U.S. National Toxicology Program, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The research showed there’s a link to two types of cancer, prompting the American Cancer Society’s Chief Medical Officer to note that the results “mark a paradigm shift in our understanding of radiation and cancer risk.’’

There’s just as many studies showing no link to the negative health effects of this wireless radiation, so at this point it’s anyone’s guess. For example, we’re not yet sure if you’re at a higher risk when taking calcium channel blockers, but we do know that researchers are now saying RF damage occurs to our calcium receptors. Anecdotally, you could take a calcium channel blocker to stop the damage — but that, of course, is not a good solution as calcium channel blockers are for various cardio vascular diseases.

V. What You Can Do Today

It’s very easy. Stay informed so you don’t have to live in fear. You can do that by following along with August Brice’s company. She posts educational videos and stories regularly to spread the awareness of EMF and the impact on our own health. You can also do your own research of the latest scientific studies coming out. Google is a great resource for that.

Finally, you can also get involved by contacting and communicating with your local, state, and federal elected officials, telling them how you want them to vote. After all, if you don’t tell them, how will they ever know?

— Sean Everett

If you enjoyed this story, please click the 👏 button and share to help others find it! Feel free to leave a comment below.

The Mission publishes stories, videos, and podcasts that make smart people smarter. You can subscribe to get them here.

50,000 Cellular Antennas & Your Health was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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