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#It's Probably The Trauma
superbeeny · 1 year
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Loid being so aghast that Yuri bought Yor’s lame “I forgot” excuse for why she never told him that she was supposedly married for a year is hilarious because he doesn’t realize he has the exact same type of blind spot when it comes to Yor and Anya.  Like it’s shown Loid is a typically sharp person; he picked up on Yuri being from the secret police quickly. He’s just oblivious to how his brain stops working when it comes to wifey and baby.   
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Deep down, FNAF movie Vanessa and Michael are siblings
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hrast-ika · 5 months
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ya ever think about if there were chilly nights at times on the Baratie and how that affected Sanji? i do and i painted it bc i had to get it out
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twinstxrs · 8 days
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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azulhood · 1 month
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Jazz was, at her core, a pessimist.
Oh sure, she wanted the best outcomes and strived to always see the best in people. But listening to her parents talk about and share crime scene photos of someone who was brutally murdered and who may haunt the place they were headed to while true crime podcasts played instead of road trip tunes as they traveled to whatever graveyard had caught their interest had dulled young Jazz's faith in humanity.
Jazz still had memories of a young her standing in an abandoned insane asylum (or abandoned hospital, or old house, or graveyard, or whatever place they dragged her too) holding a small torch with shaky hands and begging to leave because she was terrified "Can we go? Please? this place is scaring me" only to be told "In a minute Jazzy, we down want the ghost getting away."
They had settled down after Danny was born, choosing to stay in one placed instead of traveling all over the country. She still expected them to unexpectedly announce that they were going on the road again, she had plans in case they did (saying she'd stay behind with the van to take care of Danny was better then both of them getting used as ghost bait) But surprisingly they didn't.
And Jazz was thrilled. Sure, she and Danny were known as the kids of the towns crazy ghosthunters, and sure, she basically had to raise her brother since her parents would rarely leave their lab let alone focus on something not ghost related, and yes, she did have to carefully plan out how to use the family's money so that none of them starved.
But no more sleeping in cheap hotels or their van, no more making friends at playgrounds that she'd never see the next day, no more countless hours spent in places where people died, no more English lessons while on the road. She went to school now, she had friends that she saw more than once, she had a home that wasn't filled with cockroaches and the sounds of a argument from the room next door. She had a semi-normal life.
In this time of normality, she relaxed, she let her guard down. Then Danny died and only came back halfway.
And Jazz was back to being that little girl who was scared of ghosts, only this time she was scared for a ghost.
Danny didn't tell her at first, and even though it hurt she understood, and so while she waited for him to tell her, she planned.
She took job after job, from mowing someone's lawn to working at a checkout. Money had been put aside in bags filled with clothes and a pair of new id that she had gotten from Tucker, ("Just in case our parents get classified as supervillains and we need to flee" She said not giving anyway that she knew of Danny's ghostly problem, Tucker had made the id anyway even if he thought she was joking and did not in fact have a plan should that situation happen) One of their neighbors was willing to let her buy their old car despite her family's driving history. A safe house (more like safe apartment) was bought in the only place that was willing to let a teen buy property, Gotham City.
Danny fought numerous enemies until the only enemy that was left was telling their ghost hunter parents that their son was half dead.
Compared to her, Danny was an optimist, seeing the best in everyone without even having to try like she did. Believing that the best would happen like if he didn't, he would break into a million pieces and not know how to put himself together again.
Even though he was scared Danny believed that their parents wouldn't react badly, Jazz hoped they wouldn't but was prepared if they did.
And finally, after many nights spent wide awake in case her parents tried to rip Danny apart molecule by molecule while she slept, the shoe dropped. Their parents loved them, but their work came first, it always came first. Jazz loved her parents, she truly did, but she loved Danny more. And in the end, that made her choice of driving all the way to Gotham with nothing but their go bags all the more easier.
And that was how Jazz and Danny ended up as the neighbors of one Jason Todd.
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alychelms · 4 months
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Been forever since I posted anything new. I have a few of these that I'm planning on doing, MXTX couples sharing their traumas. (WWX's claim refers to the popular fanon that he didn't survive the fall into the Burial Mounds. Putting the romance in necromancy!)
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bizarrelittlemew · 5 months
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
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hello tumblr i return with this
[ ID: A digital illustration of Adrien from Miraculous and Hunter from The Owl House. The two are sitting on chairs, with adrien on the left and hunter on the right, both looking at the camera with awkward smiles on their faces, thumbs up. The banner above them reads (as in referring to the two), “traumatized blonde teenage white boys who aren’t quite human and were instead created by their evil shithead father figures using magic who they used to look up to until they learned who they really were and they had masked alter egos that gave them more confidence but were also just tools to cover up their true selves and who are in love with a blue haired asian girl who could kick their ass and who have little flying animal confidantes who give them powers and were one of their first friends and who at one point wore very silly costumes and at another point were a villain and are probably bi and trans and-”. End ID.] 
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thaliasthunder · 1 year
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everytime i remember that nico canonically makes trauma jokes now i mentally give him a *pat pat* on his back along w a proud father smile for that
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chipper-smol · 1 year
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When no one is looking...
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murdrdocs · 11 days
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religious themes; allusions to sex; def incorrect religious interpertations MDNI 18+ inspo from @swiftiekisses's post w/ LUKE CASTELLAN
the pastors voice booms throughout the small church even without the microphone as assistance. his words, preachings about the dangers of premarital sex, run down luke's spine. they stick themselves there, forced to remain relevant and exist permanently within his body even if his mind dared to forget it.
because he knows his feeble, easily persuaded mind will forget it. when he's inevitably balls deep in you later this afternoon, when your parents have retired to the kitchen for his moms cooking, he would have already forgotten the elated cheers of agreement from the churchgoers. he knows that when you're running your hands through his hair, your pristinely manicured nails scratching his scalp, he would have forgotten what this mornings sermon was even about.
but you, you won't forget. you sit beside him now, staring straight ahead, supposedly unaffected by the way luke's knee touches yours. he can delude himself into believing you were pretending to not care about luke's presence next to his, but your attitude might be soaked in truth. you're in charge here, and luke knows it.
you're human personification of temptation, the rotten apple disguised as fresh and ripe and ready for the picking. you've dragged him under, deep into a pit of bittersweet arousal and warm insides that he never ever wants to leave.
the sweetness of your perfume wafts towards luke's nose as you clap to what the pastor has said. his words must have been important, they must have been grandiose, because his mother is standing next to him and shouting "amen!". but luke can only focus on the way you turn your head and smile at him, a sweet grin that is the image of innocence to outsiders.
but luke knows your smile to be anything but. you knows you to be anything but. and he can tell himself lies all he wants to, but at the end of the day, when judgement comes, he knows that his actions have damned him. the ones he chose to participate in. he has chosen to continuously sheathe himself into your pretty pussy. he has chosen to lay before the altar of your thighs and give offerings. he has chosen to take what his false god has given him, lessons and signs that cloud his mind instead of clear it.
the worst part is, he wouldn't have it any other way.
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haunted-xander · 6 months
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I guess old feelings don't disappear that easily
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komaneko-kun · 1 month
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young fenglian for the soul, inspired by @pwicniq's art of fx with acne scarring, i couldn't get this idea out of my head since i saw it !! they're just lil constellations in his eyes,,
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captainkirkk · 5 months
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How long was it between when Iroh convinced Zuko to take up the Fire Throne, and Sozin's comet? A day? Less??
AU where Iroh convinces Zuko to be the next Fire Lord MUCH earlier in the series. Zuko, who hasn't been in formal education since was 13yo, understandably panics. He barely remembers his lessons on How To Be the Fire Lord, and they were all focused on how to rule during wartime. Not peace. What does an international peace treaty even LOOK like and how does one go about making it???? How does trade work when you're NOT trying to eradicate every other nation????
Book 3 Zuko spends all of his time teaching Aang firebending, interrogating the other members about their culture's traditions and politics, going on Blue Spirit journeys to raid any passing libraries, and reading everything he can get his hands on. He barely eats. He doesn't sleep. He's info dumping about the DRIEST political texts. The gaang are THIS close to holding an intervention or having Toph sit on him until he sleeps.
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nelkcats · 10 months
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Danny decided to be a janitor at Gotham's private school. Mostly because he wanted to annoy the students by making them think that he was just a poor tired man and later have a dramatic revelation about him being a retired hero (he watched too much Spiderman), well, that and the fact that he needed a job where they didn't ask for a background check.
Of course, Tim immediately realized that something was wrong with the new Janitor but doesn't rat him out because he thinks he's just a meta hiding on Gotham and he can call Clark later. He regrets that decision when the Joker tries to kidnap the school (as normal) and the janitor, panicking, freezes the entire school, including Tim.
In Danny's defense, he hates clowns and will react to any clown around with aggression. Jason approves the weird Janitor.
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