#It's 2am I really need to sleep lol I have a driving lesson in the morning | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

11thstreetgirl · 4 years

Text

Neon lights

Scene: Deserted gas station at 2am (Nasty x reader)

Requested by: @thespacecowboyyy

AN: hah this turned out weird and pretty shitty lol ~

- Fucking shit motherfucker…

I was pulled from my thoughts by the driver’s harsh words. I was dozing off at the front seat of the bus after staring at the empty road for what must have been hours. It calmed me down after a busy day like today, and even if I wanted to sleep there was no chance: Razzle’s snoring kept me awake once again.

- What is it? I muttered, straightening up in my seat. My back cracked as I reached my hands overhead to stretch. This tour life and mostly the endless sitting in a bus was starting to get the best of me.

- We’re almost out of gas.

Great. Just splendid. Nothing but empty road for miles. I wanted to strangle the man for not filling the tank before we started the overnight drive to the next city, but what good would it do? I glanced the clock on the dashboard – almost 2 am.

We drove in silence. The driver hummed quietly, he had turned off the radio so the guys could get some sleep. The show’s afterparty had been cut short as we needed to get to the next city by noon. To be honest I was glad we got out of there that fast, I was happy to be somewhere quiet with just the band, the crew and the driver. When the guys had asked me to come along to the tour as the merch seller I didn’t know what kind of circus I was getting myself into. Of course I knew they partied hard, I’d been their friend for years, but this was something else. They were like little kids on a field trip across America. Far away from home and carefree. I was glad they trusted me this much, but more often than not I ended up being their babysitter. I was starting to think that was another reason for them to ask me to come.

The band was asleep, each and every one. They smelled like booze, weed and perfume, they were snoring and talking in their sleep, they definitely were like little kids. The sight warmed my heart. Above all, I felt privileged to be here with them. They were batshit crazy but also the most lovable, friendly people ever. If they accepted you as a part of their gang they loved and protected you with all their might. Michael had been giving me some singing lessons and Sami was always telling me the little tidbits of did-you-know-information he’d read somewhere. Andy with his stories and nobody knew if they were true or not. Razzle being the die-hard prankster always trying to make me laugh. And Nasty… Nasty trying to teach me how to play guitar. Nasty always offering a swing from his beer, Nasty sneaking his way close to me just to start a nonchalant conversation that usually led to us talking all night.

But there was something about Nasty that I quite couldn’t put my finger on. He was both quiet and outgoing at the same time and even after all these years I’d known him I didn’t quite get the man. And being on tour just made the contrast higher. Lately he’d become more quiet around me as if he was trying to avoid me. We no longer had the deep, hours-long conversations we used to have and it hurt. He was after all the first one I became friends with. Every time he turned his back to me stung like hell. I missed him, there was a strange ache in my chest when he wasn’t around.

Suddenly there were lights on the roadside. As we got closer we realized that it was a gas station in all it’s glory. But as we got next to it and the bus slowed down to a stop it became pretty clear it wasn’t up for business. There were no lights inside the shop, just the lonely glow of green and yellow neon signs stating that there at least had been gas for sale. It was eerie to say the least.

- Why are we stopping? Nasty’s tired voice spoke behind me.

Speak of the devil.

- We’re running out of gas, I answered blatantly. The darkness outside was all-consuming and as the driver killed the engine it got perfectly quiet. All we could see was the road as far as the headlights lit it and the dim, greenish glow of old neon lights from the station. Nasty yawned and leaned his elbow on the back of my seat.

- That’s definitely deserted. No way there’s anyone out here, I stated as I observed the scene. A couple of cars drove past, then quiet again. Just Razzle’s snoring and Sami’s sleepy mumbling filled the air.

- It wont hurt to go and check, just to be sure, Nasty mused.

- Nasse look at it! It’s empty! I was tired and frustrated.

- We’re seriously not gonna get far with what we have left, so I think we really need to check, the driver said quietly with an apologetic hint in his voice. Damn right he should be sorry.

- You two go, I’ll stay here and try to stop a car if one comes by.

I shot the man a questioning look. He gotta be kidding me. Irritation was building up inside me by the minute. What a train wreck.

- Go on, we don’t have all night.

Nasty flashed me a grin as I groaned. It probably was cold outside, it sure was dark, and god knows what kind of predators the bushes hid. Coyotes and mountain lions, weren’t those the creatures around here?

Nasty opened the door and poked his head outside. A cold wind blew his hair around and made goosebumps rise to my skin. A fleeting thought to get something to protect us, like maybe a baseball bat, ran through my head but before I could say anything Nasty was already outside. I followed him suit. The distances seemed a lot longer out here in the dark and it didn’t take many steps to be out of the reach of the bus’s lights. No way I was going to let Nasty get far away. Determinedly he walked over to the gas pumps and took one in his hand. Just like I expected, no gas came out no matter how he held it or how hard he pulled the handle. He even kicked the machine and cursed under his breath. I just stood there watching because I knew it was no use. After poking the buttons a while and trying another pump he gave up.

- Doesn’t seem to work, he muttered. I kept all ”I told you so”s to myself. We stood there quietly. It really was cold, I hugged myself to keep warmer. Nasty seemed deep in thought. There was no sound anywhere, not a single car in sight, just the wind blowing in the bushes behind the station.

- We should check the the store just to be sure. Who knows, maybe there’s something useful inside, Nasty spoke more to himself than to me.

- Why do you think the door’s open?

- Well maybe not the front door but let’s try the back door! He looked at me with mischief in his eyes. Things were getting illegal fast there was no doubt about that.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Oh come on, let’s have some fun while were here!

I rolled my eyes. There was no way stopping him, so I just followed him across the station. Just as I reached him a strong gust of freezing wind blew across the concrete yard. I visibly shivered.

- Here, wanna take my jacket? He offered and before I could say anything he took it off and handed to me.

- Aren’t you cold? I tried not to let my eyes linger on his bare arms for too long as I pulled the garment on. It smelled like Nasty and it made me feel strangely better. Like I was safe.

- Nah, I still have alcohol in my system.

Well of course. We walked around the corner to the other side of the building. The glow from the neon lights dimmed and it got almost dark before we got to the back door. It was lit by a single flickering light bulb that cast ominous shadows everywhere. Nasty tried the door but it was locked.

- I told ya, of course it’s not open.

Nasty tried to yank the door again just to be sure. He looked otherworldly under the bright light as he turned towards me.

- Like that has stopped me before…

- You’re not seriously going to break in are you?

- I sure am. Let’s just check if there’s anything useful! Besides, you said it yourself: it’s probably deserted. Come on, don’t be such a pussy.

I just huffed in response. Fine, if he wanted to go in to the deserted gas station that was likely haunted and/or had a murderous coyote living in it he could go by himself. I’d just wait right here.

It didn’t take long for him to get the door open with a bobby pin he had in his pocket. As much as I knew not to be surprised by anything at this point it still took me by surprise.

- Where the hell did you learn that?

- Try living on the streets for a while… he just grinned at me and sneaked inside. He disappeared into the darkness and I was all alone in the cold. I stared at the door, snuggled deeper into the Nasty-smelling jacket and listened to his footsteps echoing from inside. The quiet would’ve been soothing if only it had been completely quiet. But of course not, there just had to be something rustling in the bushes right outside the light’s reach. I changed my mind about waiting outside pretty damn fast.

At first it was impossible to see. I fumbled my way out of the small backroom into the store. The neon lights outside cast a beautiful light inside. It was plenty to see as soon as my eyes got used to the dark. Nasty was rummaging through the shelves just a few meters away, humming to himself. My heart was pounding loud and fast in my ears. I had never done anything like this before. To break into a gas station? I must be out of my mind. Nasty on the other hand didn’t seem to mind at all.

- Oh you came! I already checked the cashier – nothing there. And you were right, this place is empty. All that’s left is some canned stuff from almost ten years ago. Funny how this place hasn’t been robbed before, he kept talking and almost waltzing between the shelves.

I stood there for a moment. Every little sound made me jump so I tried to move as close to Nasty as possible. I admired the light filtering through the window, making everything seem like time couldn’t touch it. Nasty’s carefree figure danced against the light. He seemed like he belonged here, in this timeless spot, with the green painting unfamiliar shadows on his face.

It would’ve been almost romantic if I hadn’t been so scared. I took a step closer to Nasty just so that if the murderous coyote snapped onto my leg and tried to drag me into it’s den, I’d drag him with me. Suddenly he turned around right in front of me.

- Romantic huh? he grinned at me. Bloody hell was he a psychic, reading my thoughts like that? He just stood there, the grin on his face melting away. Slowly he reached for my hand. I just stared at him with my eyes wide. No coherent words were forming in my mind. The light seemed to be whispering something into my ear but I couldn’t make out the words, just a buzz.

I think Nasty heard the same alluring buzz because he moved closer. And closer and closer until all I could see was his eyes staring at me behind his hair and his lips way too close to mine. A strained sound that didn’t even sound like it came from me escaped my throat. It brought me back to reality just enough.

- Nasse what are you doing? I finally got out of my mouth. It came out more sharply than I intended. He looked startled. He leaned back and melted into the most heart-breaking puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. I wanted to say I’m sorry but he spoke first.

- It’s just that… I like you a lot. And I thought you liked me too. He turned his face downward in defeat and let got of my hand.

- Nasty I do like you, but…

- But not like that right?

- No, no I just, I just thought you suddenly hated me or something, always sneaking away from me and everything.

- I was just confused by what I was feeling. We’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin it.

I took his hands into mine. I felt soft inside. This little moment in this timeless space made everything so much clearer, so much more simple.

- You can’t ruin this no matter what, I whispered.

He leaned closer and this time I didn’t try to back away. My heart was pounding in my ears so loud as he leaned towards, I closed my eyes and felt my heart skip multiple beats as the seconds seemed to last forever before….

TOOOOOT!

The sound of the bus horn startled us both. I jumped and hit my forehead to Nasty’s.

- Fuck!

- Come back here! the voice of the busdriver ran through the air just loud enough to hear. Nasty burst out laughing.

- We better get back.

- But… I was confused and a little hurt. Of course the moment had to be ruined.

- But what? Come on, let’s go!

He was like nothing happened. He avoided my eyes. His voice was stern and his movements sharp as he took a few items from the shelves and walked towards the door. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t say anything, he didn’t even hold the door for me. I felt hollow.

Nasty almost ran back to the bus. I tried to keep up with him but gave up and just watched as he hurried under the neon lights. They painted his hair with a green glow and made his skin look even paler than usual. The darkness around felt like it was creeping in on me. I pulled the jacket tighter around me. It smelled like home.

#ha ha what a shitty little thing i wrote #nasty suicide #fanfiction

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