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#It helps a bit with my motivation to at least have an awesome topic
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my thoughts and theories on ep 5
starting with the things i did like, i think the animation + visuals are overall very consistent for the series so far. the tone of the episode was a bit more serious because, well... akutaro and the gang war and the growing tensions between characters.
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we finally got see the full flashback of matakara and arajin's backstory and it was a nice surprise to see how matakara stood up for himself and arajin of course runs away (understandable) but i'm hoping in future episodes we get more on their pasts (with matakara's brother too. maybe the reason his brother is in juvie is because he did something bad to the bullies and he didn't tell/lied to matakara? this could be interesting later on) and how it affects the present and future character growth. I hope we also get to see the reason why arajin moved away as it’ll help us understand his character more (literally running away from circumstances. A lot of his character is running away and how he has to confront it) akutaro is a fun villain! a complete dramatic and horny menace. i'm so glad he got his face punched in. i wonder how he got ichiya (what influence does ichiya have over him/he have over ichiya?) and if he’ll continue to be the series’ big bad later on or if he’ll just be the antag for this arc.
the good thing about arajin being so indecisive about joining anyone is that we get to see how each gang operates. this time, we see the ng boys (and girls?? they have girls too) and how akutaro has everyone under his finger. he uses fear and threats to manipulate them into doing what he wants, forces them to do his dirty work. we also see how he got kicked out of minatokai and a bit of kenichiro and marito's battle in the background. i wonder how the blue majin will merge with matakara because it's foreshadowed heavily. (“no doubt those kicks are ichiya’s” and matakara’s fighting style revolves around them) right now the blue majin is with akutaro) i’m also dying to know senya’s motives and past with ichiya and how it could tie into the conflict between their person.
i feel like the gag of arajin and his *cough* rampant thinking with his dick is starting to wear on my nerves a bit, but i don't HATE him. i get that his character is supposed to be poking fun at that trope. i think what's interesting is that you could point out that male characters who are considered to be strong also happen to have lots of connections + affections (platonic or romantic) toward other men. arajin by contrast, rejects it in favour of chasing after women (maybe it’s what he thinks will prove his masculinity to others? or it's like. a distraction from his issues?)
maybe it’s not that deep, but it's something i wanted to point out anyway.
on the topic of arajin: my biggest worry is that while i DO have hope arajin's character development is on the way soon, i am concerned that they'll start it too late (like ep 10 which is unlikely but) and not give us enough time to fully sympathize or connect with his relationship towards matakara and the others around him. i understand he's supposed to be a selfish and unlikeable character, but i feel with like there's only so long you can stretch out the drama before it wears thin if you don’t expand on it; which is something have hope that they’ll do since there’s a lot of setup there.
i know arajin’s character is why most people are dropping the anime, but i'm hoping most people will at least be patient for the development. we're only at episode 5. (like sk8 for example had the conflict span from ep 7-10. this is a larger scale conflict so ofc it'd take longer) bucchigiri has a lot of potential, and i’m hoping they’ll stick the landing.
(i also need to see the fight between kenichiro and marito next ep ; i know it'll be awesome.) with the title of the next ep's title being "much much friendship! 'nira-reba'-lution 21!" i do hope we get to see much, much more in terms of friendships (a falling out maybe?) , arajin-related or otherwise. i'm excited to see where the anime goes next!
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hyenalover2630 · 8 months
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Bee x Vortex x Male Hellhound Reader! (Romantic)
Requested by: ‘Anonymous?’
A/n: I apologize for being gone for like two weeks. Just busy with irl stuff since school is about to start again. But that’s sort of good cause I am WAY more motivated to make requests when I’m at school. I use to get the request done on that same day or the next day when I was at school.
Also idk if this was requested by anon or not soooo, I’ll just edit it after if it’s not lol. Anyways enjoy!
-You first met these two at one of Bee’s parties, of course. You went there to hang out with some friends.
-This was your first time attending to one of her party’s. And the only reason why you came was because your friends PURE PRESSURED you into going with them. But it was worth it trust me.
-One thing you didn’t agree on was getting extremely drunk with your friends. You aren’t a big drinker.
-Ao while your friends were off partying and drinking LOADS of alcohol, you were just standing off to the side watching everyone have a good time. Until someone approached you.
-“Hey there, never seen you around here before”
-A muscular grey hellhound with a white eye that has a scar through it was talking to you, and boy was he attractive. At least in your opinion.
-“O-oh yeah. This is my first time attending a party in this part of town.” You didn’t mean to stutter, but you were sort of drooling over him at the moment.
-“Oh really?! Well then allow me to show you one of the best party’s you’ve ever been to.” He said with delight. You could feel your tail wagging about the thought of having a really hot hellhound show you around.
-“Okay!” You said with almost a little too much excitement.
-So he showed(or more like told) you almost everything about the party. Even introducing some of his friends to you.
-You learned that his name was Vortex. And you thought that was an awesome name.
-He told you that Bee(You thinking it was one of his friends) hosts the party’s here and even sings. So you two talked together while waiting for her to preform her act.
-Suddenly, music started to play and when you got a glimpse at the performer, you were love struck.
-She was gorgeous! Was all you could think about. But now you were crushing on two people. TWO PEOPLE.
-After the performance was finished, everyone went back to normal and started to do their own things.
-You were about to leave until you heard Vortex start talking.
-“You aren’t leaving yet right? I want you to meet someone!”
-Well, you were gonna leave before he said that. But come on who can resist? He gave you puppy dog eyes and had his tail wag a bit. It was surprising to see a huge badass hellhound act like an average house dog begging, but you thought it was adorable.
-“Alright. I’ll stay for a bit longer”
-“Ok! Oh here she comes now”
-You looked over and saw that same performer come towards you two.
-“Y/n! This is my girlfriend Bee.”
-Oof- That hurt. Their both taken. Your heart felt like it shattered.
-“Awww~ He is so cute~” Bee said to you. This made you blush at her while she chuckled.
-“Uh, nice to meet you too?” You regretted saying that. They both started to laugh at your embarrassment.
-“I like this boy. He’s so cute and innocent. Say, would you like to hang out with me and Tex here more often.” She asked you as she gave you a piece of paper with her number on it. Does she just carry those around?
-“Yeah sure.” You said as your tail wagged slightly.
-“Alright see you later Y/n” Vortex waved you goodbye as he walked off with his girlfriend.
-Okay, you were pretty bummed out about Vortex and Bee. But at least you get to hang with them later right?
-And you did actually hang out with them. You started going to Bee’s parties more often and sometimes without your friends!
-But it didn’t help with the fact you were still crushing on them. But little did you know that they were crushing on you as well.
-They had a whole discussion on that topic and came to an agreement that they were developing feelings for you. And that they wanted to go out with you.
-So one day while you three were chilling at one of Bee’s Parties, they asked you a question that you never thought they would ask you.
-“So, wanna go out with us?” Bee asked sorta nervously.
-“What.” You asked in surprise. You couldn’t believe your own ears right now.
-“If you don’t then that’s totally fine.” Vortex comforted you. Though , you could see he wasn’t his usual happy self when telling you that.
-“What! No no. I do want to go out with you two!” You said loudly making sure they understood.
-“Oh phew. I thought you were actually declining us more a second.” Bee wiped her forehead.
-“I would never trust me” you said while your tail began to shake.
-This made both of them start to chuckle at your excitement.
-This was the start of your wonderful relationship.
I hope this is good. I saw you wanted to have more of how you meet them so I did that and included the start of their relationship.
If you want me to make another one since I didn’t include the relationship head-cannons then I’ll do it but I’m making a Bee x Vortex x GN reader request next that has the relationship head-cannons in it if you wanna just read that instead. Anyways thank you for requesting and sorry this took forever!
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hexbis · 9 months
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The Importance of Performance Management System in India
Introduction
Introduction: Welcome, dear reader, to the fascinating world of performance management systems in the land of spices and Bollywood, India! Buckle up, folks, because we're about to embark on a journey that will not only enlighten you but also make your brain cells dance with joy. So, what's the deal with performance management systems, you ask? Let's dive in and uncover the secrets behind this magical tool that has the power to transform organisations and the lives of their employees. Trust me, this is going to be one wild ride!
Understanding Performance Management System
Understanding Performance Management System: Performance management system is a term that can make you feel all official and formal, but worry not, it's not as complicated as it sounds. In simple terms, it refers to a process that helps organisations measure and improve their employees' performance. Now, let's break it down even further (because that's what we do here). The performance management system has two main components - the definition bit and the components bit. First up, the definition. Picture this: you're working hard on a project, putting in extra hours, and spilling more coffee than you care to admit. But how do you know if you're actually doing a good job? That's where the performance management system comes in. It's like a compass that tells you if you're heading in the right direction or if you're lost in the vast wilderness of mediocrity. As for the components, it's like the recipe for a delicious performance soufflé. You've got your goal setting, where you define what needs to be achieved. Then comes the continuous feedback mechanism, where you get guidance on your progress and any necessary course correction. And last but not least, there are regular performance reviews to evaluate your overall performance and identify areas for improvement. So, to sum it up, the performance management system is like your personal cheerleader, accountability partner, and mentor all rolled into one. It helps you stay on track, improve your performance, and become the hero of your own success story. Sounds pretty awesome, right? And that, my friends, is the skinny on understanding the performance management system. Stay tuned for more juicy details on why it's so darn important in the Indian context.
Benefits of Using Performance Management System
Ah, the Performance Management System in India! An absolute game-changer! Let's dive into the amazing benefits it brings to the table, shall we? First and foremost, this system does wonders for improving employee performance. Gone are the days of slacking off and pretending to be busy (we've all been there). With the Performance Management System, employees are held accountable for their work, ensuring that they stay focused and motivated. No more hiding behind the excuse of "I didn't know what was expected of me." Now, onto the thrilling topic of enhancing employee engagement. We all know how fun it is to work in an environment where no one seems to care about their job. But fear not, because the Performance Management System swoops in to rescue us from that nightmare. By regularly tracking and evaluating employee progress, this system ensures that employees are recognized for their hard work and achievements. It's like a virtual high-five, but even better! And let's not forget about the magical power of identifying skill gaps and training needs. It's always a blast when you realise you've been doing something completely wrong for years, right? Well, with the Performance Management System, those days are long gone. By analysing the performance data of employees, organisations can easily spot areas where additional training is required. It's like having a superhero mentor who guides you towards greatness. So, you see, the Performance Management System isn't just some fancy buzzword. It's a tool that revolutionises the way organisations operate, making sure everyone is on their A-game. It's like having a personal cheerleader, motivator, and mentor all rolled into one. But wait, there's more! Stay tuned for the next section, where we'll unravel the challenges faced in implementing this amazing system. Trust me, it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but we'll handle it with a dash of wit and wisdom. Until next time, folks!
Challenges Faced in Implementing Performance Management System
Challenges Faced in Implementing Performance Management System Ah, the joy of implementing a performance management system in an organisation. It's like trying to teach a cat to do tricks – a little frustrating and a lot entertaining. But hey, who doesn't love a good challenge, right? One of the biggest hurdles that organisations face when it comes to implementing a performance management system is resistance to change. You see, humans have this interesting habit of clinging onto familiar things, even if those things are as useful as a chocolate teapot. So, when you try to introduce a new system that promises to revolutionise the way performance is managed, expect some pushback. It's like asking someone to switch from their beloved old Nokia phone to the latest iPhone overnight – it's bound to cause a few raised eyebrows and possibly even some tears of attachment. Another challenge that organisations often encounter is the lack of clear goals and expectations. It's like trying to play a game without knowing the rules – you're essentially shooting in the dark, hoping for the best. Without clear objectives, employees are left wandering aimlessly, not knowing what they need to achieve or how their performance will be evaluated. It's a recipe for disaster, my friend. And let's not forget about ineffective feedback mechanisms. We all know that feedback is the lifeblood of any performance management system. It's like the sweet nectar that keeps the system alive and kicking. But here's the problem – if the feedback mechanisms are faulty or non-existent, you might as well be shouting into the void. Without proper feedback channels, employees are left wondering about their progress and improvement areas. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded – not very productive, I must say. So, there you have it – the challenges that organisations face in implementing a performance management system. From resistance to change and lack of clear goals to ineffective feedback mechanisms, it's a bumpy ride. But fear not, my friends, for there are ways to overcome these challenges and pave the way for a successful performance management system. Stick around, and I'll show you how it's done. But first, let's take a coffee break. Who's up for a cup o' joe?
Best Practices for Successful Performance Management System
So, you want to learn about the best practices for a successful performance management system? Well, you've come to the right place! Buckle up and get ready for some serious knowledge bombs, with a dash of quirky humour, of course. Setting SMART goals is the first step towards achieving greatness. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Basically, it means you need to set clear and specific goals that are actually achievable within a specific timeframe. So, forget about those vague goals like "be the best employee ever," and start setting goals like "increase sales by 10% in the next quarter." Now that we have our goals in place, it's time for some frequent and constructive feedback. Gone are the days of waiting until the performance review to address any issues. Instead, be proactive and provide feedback on a regular basis. And don't just focus on the negatives; make sure to acknowledge and praise the good stuff too. Because who doesn't love a little pat on the back? Speaking of performance reviews, they are an essential part of a successful performance management system. These reviews provide an opportunity to discuss progress, set new goals, and address any concerns or areas for improvement. Use this time wisely and have an open and honest conversation with your employees. And by open and honest, I mean no sugar-coating or beating around the bush. Be direct, but remember to also be respectful. We don't want any tears in the workplace. Now, these are just a few of the key best practices for a successful performance management system. Remember, it's not about following some rigid rules, but rather finding the approach that works best for your organisation. So, go forth and implement these best practices, and watch your performance management system soar to new heights! Happy managing, folks! PS: Just a friendly reminder, implementing these best practices does not guarantee an office full of unicorns and rainbows, but it sure does increase your chances of a highly motivated and engaged workforce. Cheers!
Case Studies: Organisations That Have Benefited from Performance Management System
Case Studies: Organisations That Have Benefited from Performance Management System When it comes to the effectiveness of performance management systems, there are several organisations in India that have experienced significant improvements. One such instance is XYZ Corporation, where the implementation of a performance management system resulted in a remarkable boost in employee performance. By setting clear goals and providing regular feedback, XYZ Corporation witnessed a surge in productivity and overall job satisfaction. Similarly, ABC Enterprises also reaped the benefits of a performance management system. With a focus on engaging employees, ABC Enterprises saw a remarkable rise in employee engagement levels. Employees felt more valued and recognized for their efforts, leading to increased motivation and commitment towards achieving organisational goals. Another notable case is PQR Industries, where the performance management system proved instrumental in identifying skill gaps and training needs. By conducting regular performance reviews, PQR Industries efficiently addressed areas where employees needed additional support or training, resulting in a more skilled and capable workforce. These are just a few examples of how organisations in India have successfully harnessed the power of performance management systems. By embracing this holistic approach to performance evaluation and improvement, businesses can unlock the full potential of their employees and drive overall growth and success. So, what are you waiting for? It's time to revolutionise your organisational performance too!
Conclusion
So we've reached the end of our journey into the world of Performance Management Systems. Phew! It's been quite a ride, hasn't it? But before we bid adieu, let's quickly recap the key points we've covered so far. Performance Management Systems play a crucial role in organisations, helping to improve employee performance, enhance engagement, and identify skill gaps and training needs. It's like having a magic wand that makes everyone more efficient and effective. Well, maybe not quite like a magic wand, but you get the idea. Of course, implementing a Performance Management System isn't always a walk in the park. It comes with its fair share of challenges, such as resistance to change, unclear goals and expectations, and ineffective feedback mechanisms. But hey, nothing worth having ever comes easy, right? Luckily, there are some best practices that can help organisations navigate these challenges and make their Performance Management System a success. Setting SMART goals, providing frequent and constructive feedback, and conducting regular performance reviews are just a few of these practices. It's all about creating a system that works for your unique organisational needs. But don't just take my word for it. There are plenty of organisations out there that have already reaped the benefits of a well-implemented Performance Management System. They've seen increased productivity, happier employees, and better results overall. It's like a win-win-win situation. So, as we wrap up this blog, let's remember that a successful Performance Management System is the key to unlocking the full potential of your organisation. It may take some effort, but trust me, it's worth it in the end. Now go forth and embrace the power of performance management!
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lordofseagulls · 2 years
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Diversity win my document editor doesn't believe in cis people
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whetstonefires · 2 years
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Hey, I just found you from that AWESOME meta about LXC's and LWJ's outlooks on life! I tried searching Jane Bennett and your tag #eldest sibling feels, but I didn't see anything else on that topic? Just wondering if you had anything else about LXC / JYL / Itachi Uchiha / Jane Bennett?
Thanks!
I have definitely rambled about Itachi and Jane at least once each in fact and I am. Staggered and on the floor laughing about Itachi being in this lineup because. Because you're not wrong????? You're. Not wrong. He is that Type. He is! You are correct.
But also he. He very much killed his entire family. 😂 I mean, okay, he participated and took the blame. Still.
Imagining Jane Bennett in a circumstance where she stabs Mr. and Mrs. Bennett to death in order to protect Elizabeth, Mary, Lydia, and Kitty from the government. I'm doing that now. That is my current occupation.
Okay. Sorry to say I'm not any more able to navigate my own blog than anyone else, so I cannot direct you to these posts! Except the Itachi one was an ask for 'unpopular Naruto opinion' I think. I am very Moved by your interest though, thank you so much for complimenting that meta! 😄💖🌻😊✨💕🌺 Feeling good about my rant's reception.
This is totally reinforcing my Be On Tumblr Too Much patterns lmao.
I do want to go off about Jiang Yanli a bit at some point because like. Her actress in the drama did such a good job but she's a systematically under-written character, a bit, and I've seen a good bit of work done in the fandom to cover the many ways she is, could, or should be epic and imposing within the bounds of her nature, so I want at some point to sit down in that sandbox with a big bucket of water and dig into the ways she is covertly a disaster person like everyone else in the book in general and her family in particular.
Because you can admire someone for the graceful way she manages her Eldest Daughter Syndrome all you want but dang it I have been that idiot who makes everything worse by walking into the middle of the shitstorm trying to patch her own feelings and sense of worth together by Helping The Younger Ones. That's genuine disaster energy!
That compulsion to make soup and peace doesn't come from a deep well of serenity, this is a reaction pattern rooted in need. Yanli also has mental health problems as a result of her parents' whole deal and I think that's very stylish of her actually.
Points to her for a like, relatable and human Getting Dead For Backstory motive, even if it's largely implicit.
Would love to see her kick her own ass for being a bad example to Wei Wuxian of How To Be A Good Person--not that I'm blaming her I just think it would be really interesting if she blamed herself, for encouraging the self-destructive end of people-pleasing.
But also I think she gets too much credit for self-awareness sometimes, no one with that much conflict-avoidance behavior is going to consistently face the uncomfortable parts of her own motives or the flaws of her attachment objects, so it would be a little tricky to set up without like, resurrecting her in the aftermath of wwx's slaughter meltdown and death. Hmm. Little dark.
...use the sacrificial array, put her in an unsuitable body. Oh no Jiang Cheng please do not. The fucking irony of Jiang Yanli running around in Jiang Cheng's body with Wei Wuxian's golden core tho????
I do like that per Phoenix Mountain incident we know that her conflict avoidance is something she can set aside in favor of weaponizing her own no-chill chill, and it's interesting to contemplate the ways this might generalize.
She and Lan Xichen are both weak to their families, in certain ways, and both appear primarily in the context of these families (+their respective Jins) but their spheres of responsibility are so different that it seems almost mean-spirited to compare them.
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sunnydwrites · 3 years
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How to Write Skills and Knowledge
So, you’re looking to write a character with a fun new skill or area of knowledge! Awesome! We’ve all been there before, excited to write a character who knows a lot about something completely out of left field for us. The issue is this: that character has to know things we don’t.
If we approach the writing of this character with our own limited knowledge, it’s going to be extremely clear that someone with absolutely no knowledge of the character’s expertise wrote this character. If I write about a professional chef when all I do is make the occasional boxed mac and cheese from time to time... it’s going to show.
Do I have to be an expert in these things?
No! Not by any means. You don’t have to be an expert about most things to write about them, which is why we can write stories about other worlds and fantastic adventures. But when we do those things, we learn about them through creating them. There’s a process of creation and understanding, and that understanding is key - at least a base level is vital.
How do I learn about knowledge?
Knowledge is definitely easier to write than skills, but why? Knowledge, for the most part, is a composition of facts. It’s generally easier to learn and learn about knowledge because of its nature. When you learn things and write them down, some piece of it tends to stick with you. Let’s break down how to learn about different areas of knowledge that your character might have!
Here are the steps I use that work the best for me, and I follow all of them in my character development document.
Define the character’s general area of knowledge, and then a few specific parts of that area that they know the best.
Get a super basic understanding of all those parts.
Super basic, as in: what is linguistics? If they’re interested specifically in phonology and pragmatics, what are those?
Find some communities or articles about those topics at a base level, and write down a few facts that you see that you think your character would know.
Articles like “__ Things You Need to Know About __” will be helpful.
Continue expanding as you see fit and as you see opportunities for (necessary) expansion.
Make sure you write everything down, too! One last major thing to remember about this topic is that every field has a specialized vocabulary, and this is something you will want to take the time to learn. If your linguistics-loving character has a good amount of knowledge, they won’t call an IPA chart a sound-making chart. They’ll know the name. 
How do I learn about skills?
Skills are a bit more difficult because they’re both more individualized and more nuanced than areas of knowledge. It’s important to remember that everyone learns and develops at different speeds and levels, and your characters could be at virtually any stage.
When it comes to skills, there is also a fair amount of knowledge involved, which is something that also makes this process more lengthy. For example, as a second degree black belt in Taekwondo, I know more than just the art. I know that it has origins in Korea and that there is a certain culture around the art, and I know that certain techniques are tied to certain words that I should know. Writing a skill requires establishing a base of knowledge!
With that in mind, here are the steps I use to write a character with a skill that I don’t have.
Establish the character’s skill and their skill level, as well as any base-level knowledge required.
Establish any strengths and weaknesses your character may have for this skill or topic overall, as well as any goals.
For example, with Taekwondo: my strength is poomse, my weakness is sparring, and my goal is to improve my board breaking.
Expose yourself to different experiences regarding this skill. Check out YouTube and other blogs, for example!
This is what will give you an understanding of how different people learn and develop. The more different perspectives you can get, the more of a well-rounded understanding you’ll have.
Understand different levels of difficulty of different things related to the skill.
This could be something like dicing an onion super fact, roller skating forwards or backwards, running at a certain speed, etc.
Establish your character’s relationship with the skill.
That last note is especially important, but why? Skills take investment and are typically more self-directed. We think of knowledge in things like school and classes, but skills are more optional; you develop them if and when you want to, or sometimes when you have to. Take the time to describe your character’s relationship with each of their skills. Here are a few examples based on experiences of my own!
I practice Taekwondo because it’s my passion and I like the powerful feeling that I gives me to have confidence in my own abilities.
I write for creative fulfillment and because I like to share my stories with other people.
I want to learn to skateboard or roller skate because I like to have control over my movements, and I like the general aesthetic that comes with them.
I am learning to code because I am motivated to create a positive change for my community on Discord.
They’re all very different, which means I’m also in a different headspace when I practice all of them.
Overall, writing anything your character knows that you don’t will take time, and it will take learning. But exposing yourself to these other experiences will make it easier for you as a writer to make the experience more authentic!
Did this post help you out? Consider donating to my Ko-Fi!
Join my writing community on Discord!
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I have another lovely commission to share with you all! An awesome person wanted a super cute bit of interaction between Springload and Quillfire, so here it is!
Quillfire tried to keep the frown on his face from appearing too off putting as he left the base behind, keeping pace with Springload but ensuring the two of them had considerable personal space at the same time. To the benefit of their mission Earth's forests offered ample cover all around, ensuring neither had anything to fear in regards to detection. Though, to the anarchist, potential discovery was the least of his concerns. His last parting with the other mech had been under less than amicable terms, so he was fully anticipating a very unpleasant mission. In fact, he wouldn't have been surprised to learn Springload was planning to ditch him at the nearest opportunity. Such a prediction seemed more likely than not considering how the amphibicon had a tendency towards the dramatic. Was he going to be accused of defying invisible spirits, or sullying important signals from some great deity before he was exposed to corrosive attacks? It all seemed equally probable...
Frowning a little harder, he watched Springload hop ahead of him and wondered if this mission would end in failure like the last. They'd been up against considerable odds, and things weren looking much better. Steeljaw had been very insistent on them teaming up, so he had a bit of hope this would go well, but-
Crossing his arms, he huffed quietly to himself as he abandoned the train of thought, plodding along behind his chosen partner all the while. Why should he be the one to mend things? More importantly, why did he want to? There were a million other activities he could be doing at the moment, all of them more conducive to speeding up a revolution than this! Just imagining all the injustice on this backwards planet made his quills twitch with unease. Oh, how he longed to tear down the tyranny that was evident around every corner-
"Can you move more swiftly?" Springload barked back at him unexpectedly, hopping along through the forest at a pace few could match with a mere walk. Admittedly though, Quillfire was lagging behind as he mused over his unhappy thoughts. The amphibicon fixed him with an impatient glare. "The sooner this mission is completed, the sooner I may return to my quest!" 
Quillfire obeyed with a gulp, a reaction so out of character for himself he didn't know what to make of it. For some unfathomable reason, he wanted to make peace with this bot, and he was stuck with that. Perhaps he just didn't want to endure an entire mission tainted by awkward silences and angry glares, but what could possibly make things amicable between them? This bot wanted nothing but the treasure of a fabled city that didn't exist, how was he supposed to provide anything like that? Perhaps… just some conversation might do the trick? If only to lighten the mood...
As they came to a road that marked the next leg of their mission, he made an effort to think of something to say as the amphibicon pondered their map, as well as the instructions they'd been given.
"Steeljaw instructed us to wait here and construct an ambush site. When the human transport arrives, we are to steal their cargo…" he said, finishing the statement with a most distasteful croak. Clearly, his fellow bot was not especially interested in the mission either, and likely was imagining countless other ways his time could be better spent. Such was a common feeling at their rank, and he did truly share most of the frustration. With that as a starting point, Quillfire imagined they may have some common ground after all. 
"I will keep watch on the road, so that you might strike at the most opportune time!" he declared boldly, emphasizing his faith in the others skills. It wasn't even a stretch, as he firmly believed the other was more than capable of getting this done. Looking up and down the simple paved path to ensure he had a good vantage point, he found one in the form of a sheltered outcrop. Looking to Springload for a reaction the entire time, he smirked confidently and clamored up to the flat bit of earth above the road, gesturing to the wide field of observable forest as he did so. "We will claim our quarry with a single attack, and return victorious!"
Springload merely observed him with a blink of apathetic consideration. "Yes, indeed." he said simply, hopping into position and making sure to face away from his teammate when he did so. Pulling out the holo of his supposed map, he began to study it as he always did, scanning the runes for what had to be the millionth time. A terse tone made his feelings on any future reconciliation clear. "Then I may continue my quest for Doradas, alone."
The anarchist's quills sagged at the turn of events. While he hadn't been expecting immediate friendship, he also hadn't anticipated that the other mech would be so openly hostile to any kind of amicable teamwork, and found himself quite disappointed by the lack of success. For whatever reason, he just wanted Springload to like him, and failing at that was bothering him. I'm fact, it was bad enough that some part of him just refused to accept the defeat. There had to be a way he could earn the other's camaraderie. Considering how much time they still had left before their mission began, he had a good window in which to ponder a solution. 
Sitting back on the soft grass, he put a hand to his chin in intense thought. Springload himself only openly cared about one thing, and he didn't know him well enough to be aware of any other likes or interests… Casting a glance at the amphibicon, he felt his processor buzzing at the strain of thinking so hard to produce no results. He simply didn't know anything about geography, archeology, linguistics or any other topic which might help the other mech in his quest. The thought that he might not be able to do anything ate at him much more than it should have. It was enough to make him sigh sadly to himself at the hopelessness of it all.
"Do you see something?" Springload asked, mistaking his small sound for a potential signal. Embarrassed and surprised, Quillfire coughed and babbled out an excuse as fast as he could come up with one.
"Ah… no! I simply mistook a… an organic being for the target!" he explained lamely, not even believing himself. Springload arched an optic ridge, looking as incredulous as he did frustrated at the false alarm. Quillfire laughed awkwardly to clear the air, shrinking down beneath the edge of the outcrop to disappear from view. A dissatisfied croak let him know the outburst was thoroughly not appreciated. 
Frowning miserably to himself, the anarchist occupied his lonesome by doodling in the dirt at his pedes, practicing his signature mark as he often did while thinking. What was he supposed to do? Apologies were not in his nature, least of all because he didn't want to give them. As a loner he just didn't have much practice saying he was sorry to anyone. Ordinarily he was busy disrupting systems of power, overthrowing tyrannical systems, or freeing trapped souls with no one else to save them… Thoughts and feelings like these were too new for him to know what to do with them.
Thinking hard, he tried to come up with something he could do to earn the favor of the other mech, but still came up short. It was frustrating enough to make him draw more aggressively, because deep down he was certain there had to be a way to succeed. Springload wasn't too different from himself, after all. A lone mech, seeking his goals, using his natural gifts and weapons to take down those who opposed him…
Just as he was about to growl to himself at his failure to be inspired, his digit bumped against something in the soft earth. Without anything better to do, he slowly went about digging the object free. A flash of a white, shiny exterior motivated him to continue. Briefly forgetting about his troubles, he dug until a dirty but visibly solid object began to reveal its shape. Round and about the size of his palm, a glossy white stone came from the dirt without too much fuss, and he smiled at the small accomplishment. It was a rather lovely treasure for such a simple planet.
Just as he began to dust some of the remaining dirt from the granite or quartz exterior, he was struck by an idea, one so foolish he had to wonder how it could work.  
Still, he was a champion of crazy ideas, so he dared to consider it. 
Springload was a mech who one could describe as… extravagant, both in mission and mind. He required one to go all out, as he never held back in regards to the quest that he'd dedicated his entire life to completing. Overall, he was just an unusual bot. Perhaps, if Quillfire was thinking this through properly, that meant he could be reasoned with through some unusual means?
Tilting the rounded stone in his servo, he dared to believe a simple yet unusual gift would be enough to at least get the two of them started on a path to mending their teamwork. If nothing else, he'd at least get to tell himself he tried. The hardest part would be working up the courage to begin, but hopefully after that things would be easier. He just needed to take that first step…
Peeking over the edge of the outcrop, he saw that the amphibicon was in the same place he'd last been, reading over his map and murmuring to himself. Despite having read it every day for eons, the dedicated bot didn't look the least bit uninterested in his work. If anything, he looked downright eager, as if on the verge of a breakthrough at any given time. Quillfire hoped interrupting him wouldn't cause an even greater rift to form. 
Clearing his vents, he found his pump pounding with unnatural anxiety as he forced his voice box to speak up, his servos almost trembling about the stone as he took a considerable leap of faith.
"S-Springload?" he finally croaked out, nearly losing his nerve when the other mech looked up to him with painfully obvious annoyance. Gulping, he overcame his anxiety to speak up and stand tall to appear more confident than he felt.  "Can you… come up here? There is something you must see!"
Brightly colored optics widened, then fixed him with a look equal parts incredulous and irritated. "Is it important?"
"Very!" he insisted, sounding honest because he truly meant it with all of his spark. What could be more important than mending his fued with a fellow teammate?
In a single hop, Springload tucked away his map and cleared the entire road, landing just before Quillfire with a graceful thud. 
"I, er…" he stammered as the silliness of what he was about to do hit him in full. Unable to remember the last time he had given or received anything, he was without a clue as to what to say, so he simply held out the stone in his cupped palms with an attempt at a smile. There was a perceptible tremble in his arms as he did so, but he remained strong. "I believe I'm supposed to give this to you!" 
Springload didn't immediately react beyond a raised brow, so he stammered forth more of an explanation, spark sinking in his chest. "As a s-sign of… teamwork."
"A white stone?" the amphibicon said at last, as if awakening from a light trance. Taking the rock carefully into his large servo, all while ensuring his acidic coat didn't touch the other mech, he held the item aloft into the light. Just seeing him interested made the anarchist dare to hope things might work out, but in his wildest of dreams he'd never have anticipated what happened next. Springload lit up like a mech beholding a Prime out of the blue, his optics turning away from the stone for just a moment. 
"Just the same as those that line the gates of Doradas!" he exclaimed in awe.
Quillfire didn't have any response for that, good or bad as it may have been.
"What?"
"The sacred text makes it clear!" he shouted in explanation, bringing forth his scroll of indecipherable runes as if it made everything make sense. Gesturing to the lines of what Springload saw as gibberish, he began to proclaim their meaning with enthusiasm, optics wide and wild. "You see, here?! The gates of the Holy City will be lined with pure stones to mark the way!" 
"I'm…" was all he could reply with, still a million miles behind the other mech in regards to understanding. While he'd hoped at most for appreciation or a mere thanks, Springload looked about ready to burst with excitement, and for reasons he couldn't even begin to comprehend. At the very least he figured he should be happy for the turn of events when he was surprised yet again. 
"But how could you know?" Springload pressed, catching him more than a little off guard. Holding up his servos in surrender, Quillfire tried to figure out what exactly he was supposed to have known, and how he might have gone about figuring it out. He'd just thought it was pretty and would make a decent gesture of peace! Fumbling for a response so as not to lose his progress, he was saved by another burst of revelation he had no part in.
"Of course, the spirits!" he exclaimed, almost dropping the rock in his excitement. Clasping his servos over the apparently precious gift, he explained his excitement more or less by simply talking aloud to himself. "They must have guided you, enabling you to find such a sacred object, so that you could gift it to me!"
Accepting he would never truly understand, Quillfire only smiled and nodded at the other's exuberance. More than happy things had turned out so well, he was content to let the other mech believe whatever he wanted, even if he didn't follow it. "Of course!"
"As to why they would do this… they must know you are key to my quest!" Springload continued, using an avid free servo to clasp the other mech's arm in a sign of commitment. More surprised than confused, the anarchist tilted his helm in shock at how fast things had changed between them. Just like that, everything that had happened was forgiven? More than forgiven, in fact, he was seen as a friend and ally? It didn't seem inaccurate to say he was also being looked at as a divine being at the moment. By the Primes, this bot was like no other!
"I was a fool! To think, I tried to push you away!" the amphibicon cried, deactivating his acid so he could better cling to the taller mech. Seeing the emotion in his eyes, Quillfire wondered if he might start weeping, and hoped it wouldn't come to such a show. Not only was he not the best at providing comfort, he didn't have any tissues… Mercifully, the big optics looking into his seemed to sparkle with jubilation rather than tears.
"Ah, it's really nothing…" Quillfire reassured, beginning to blush from the high praise. A spare servo massaged the back of his neck in an open show of bashful deflection. Such a small thing hardly felt worthy of this kind of praise, even for a mech as glory seeking as himself. Not that he was disliking this turn of events.
"It's everything!" Springload corrected, emphatic and no longer impatient. "You must have been sent into my life by the spirits themselves!"
Actively blushing at that, the anarchist looked away, rubbing harder at the back of his neck. He hadn't a clue what to do with this newfound respect and admiration. Perhaps the other bot was just having a momentary burst of affection, which would give way as soon as the next symbol or sign grabbed his attention, but at present such a turn seemed beyond doubtful. Quillfire was being regarded in a way typically saved for the most ancient and holy of altars to the Primes. In the depths of his spark, he wanted it to last.
A distant but heavy sound caught his sharp audials, just as the tremor sensitive Springload perked up in synchronized recognition. Something was rumbling its way down the primitive earth road. Recalling their mission so fast his quills flared in alarm, the anarchist stood up to his full height, catching a glimpse of a truck through the densely packed pines. Their target was approaching fast. Worse, they were in no position to intercept it as planned. 
Thinking fast, Quillfire pulled one of his namesake weapons from his back, preparing to strike as the unknowing human drove their way. 
"I shall block the path." he announced, redirecting their strategy from before to include himself. Business came first for them both, so each was ready in an instant. Springload crouched low on his powerful legs in anticipation of his orders, which came just as the truck began barreling down the final stretch in their direction, multiple tons on a solid course they needed to stop. "You, render it motionless once it is stopped."
An agreeable ribbit communicated hearty understanding in the final moments before their strike. 
While massive by earth standards, the truck was small enough for Quillfire to plan his moves without much of a risk. Still, he was careful in his timing, as the cargo was as valuable as it was delicate. Any great crash would render it useless. Their success hinged on him being precise more than cautious, so he waited for the perfect amount of distance to be between himself and his target before he leapt down into the asphalt below. 
Well practiced using his own weapons, he tossed his quill just ahead of the already braking truck, funneling their path to the point of nonexistence. With nowhere to go, the driver was forced to slam on the brakes and skid to a stop, not having the option to go around or turn back. Quillfire smirked in pride at the human's textbook reaction, and could have sworn he heard Springload give a cheer at his victory. Near victory, that was, there was still one crucial step for them to see through.
"Now!" he ordered as the multiple tire sets came to a stop just shy of him. With the speed of someone working on the same page, the amphibicon dove from his perch, shooting his tongue out like a whip. Acid and force popped the tires in rapid succession, filling the air with a series of bangs and creaks until the heavy machine collapsed onto nothing but it's hubcaps. Rubber flew in every direction and nothing even resembling tires remained to spin, leaving multiple tons collapsed on the asphalt. The truck would not be going anywhere. 
"A clean victory!" Springload declared happily, still clutching his gift as he hopped back beside Quillfire. "Truly, the spirits are on our side in full. You are their greatest emissary."
Beaming at the praise, Quillfire turned when he heard the door of the vehicle opening up. Both mech's turned just as the human driver jumped from the vehicle, landing in a heap on the ground as he did so. Catching their mutual gaze, the tiny being threw up his hands in surrender, wide eyed and terrified as could be. A gigantic, metallic frog and an even bigger metal porcupine had not been mentioned when he'd taken the job. 
"Look, I'm n-not paid enough for this!" he stammered, gesturing wildly to the trailer as he slowly stepped backwards on shaking legs. Giving up the goods completely for his own sake, he unknowingly earned the approval of a certain anarchist. Abandoning one's shackles for self preservation was a key tactic, and he smiled as the human gave them both full clearance, dropping his keys on the spot. "Just take the truck! A-all of it!"
"We shall, your cooperation is appreciated." Springload replied, sounding a bit haughty. In truth the human's cooperation meant little; either mech was fully capable of taking what they wanted without much effort. Happy just to see someone making the right choices, Quillfire praised and comforted the terrified earthling in what he considered to be the best way.  
"Fear not, brother. You have been liberated from the bonds of oppressive labor!" he encouraged, presenting the human with a smile of reassurance. Reacting with what he presumed to be unfathomable joy, the tiny being turned about and began to sprint, disappearing into the trees with a considerable ruckus of breaking branches and fussing animals. Screams of jubilation began echoing out after he was long gone from sight.
Waving the lucky one off, Quillfire smiled at the impossible fortune this day had brought him, happy to share it with others. If humans could figure out the true way to live, perhaps there was yet hope for them. He dared to believe as much while shouting after the former truck driver. "Go forth, tiny earthling! Enjoy the freedom we have given you!"
Turning back to the work yet to be completed, he found Springload using his selectively acidic touch to melt through the lock of the truck's trailer, his gift still peeking out through his other servo's protective grip. Marveling at how the other mech seemed intent on believing his truth, Quillfire still decided to let it be. Though happy just to be friends, it was quite likely this was just how things worked for such a dramatic bot. He was surprised how he was beyond accepting of such a concept, and in fact, quite looking forward to it. 
As the doors opened, the two of them found a rather manageable cluster of boxes secured tightly to avoid damaging movement. Comfortable as the load would have been for two bots, it doubtlessly was too much for one, yet Springload began freeing it from its bonds with a smile. 
"Allow me to carry this burden, great one! It is the least I can offer!" he said eagerly, tucking his stone away into a subspace beside his spark. Cutting their payload free, he began to move the boxes happily outside, no doubt planning to pile them all into his altmode. While usually happy to get some time off, Quillfire didn't feel right about leaving the other mech to handle it all. Their new partnership deserved to get off to a much better start than that. 
"I can help." he reassured simply, taking his fair share of the boxes to carry in his hands. Though the smaller mech needed his altmode to handle his share, he didn't allow transforming to stop his eager chatting, and continued to extoll the virtues of his new ally as a happy pickup truck. 
"Such generosity!" he praised, putting along to leave the abandoned truck behind them. Though a little overwhelmed by the idea of someone seeing him as a bona fide gift from ancient deities, he allowed the other mech's chatter to fill the walk home, finding it to be far better than the awkward silence that had followed them here. Who ever would have been able to guess a mere stone could change so much? 
"I shall have to insist we are partnered together for future endeavors! As two individuals chosen by the spirits, our camaraderie can bring only success!" Springload gushed, turning about happily on his bouncing tires. "Would that please you, great one? I am certain riches will come to us both!"
Though he still had his own dreams, Quillfire didn't indeed find the idea of more missions like this very agreeable, so much so that he had no problem smiling in affirment. 
"Riches indeed, my new friend!" 
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anarmorofwords · 3 years
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I think I’m only protective against people against platonic fairstairs (romantic fairstairs can like not) because…I get the feeling that idk; sometimes Matthew is the only merry thief the fandom at large doesn’t want to grow beyond their small circle of friendship, like he’s friends with Anna but like him and Cordelia being friends is good for him, I think? Good for Cordelia too. I think, at least. They like a lot of the same stuff, they have been nothing but warm to each other, and they honestly enjoy each other’s company? I really don’t think Matthew had any ulterior motives in befriending her other than he thought she was nice (him expressing “love” for her in the romantic sense feels like the biggest comphet “I feel a way for you and I am a guy and you are a girl, I should feel romantic for you” and “I want to emotionally hurt myself” which aren’t really actual romantic feelings), they spent time together (the road trip was cute and one of the rare moments that I felt “oh these two are actually allowing themselves to enjoy something good for them” before Lilith ruined it), he came out to her! Something he seemed actually very scared to do! I even think him telling her what he did isn’t even that bad because he spilled it to try and make her feel better (even if it’s not I would have done in the slightest) because he honestly does value her as a friend, and wants her to feel better even if the only way he can think to do that is “you can’t be a monster, I know a monsters and I am one.” Matthew doesn’t have to put on an act for Cordelia because Cordelia DOENST know him as well and know what he used to be like, Matthew doesn’t put Cordelia’s hero complex on edge because he’s also a natural care taker mom friend so he also doesn’t give off “I need to save him energy, or I need to do this myself, because he’s ready to give her his everything already and without conditions so like it’s complementary.
Oh and I think there is a another reason they bonded: Grace.
Grace basically is the driving force in at least the main plot of the books so far that’s moved Cordelia and Matthew from their main friendships, with Lucie and James, in a way. Lucie because she’s helping Grace, Cordelia’s assumed love rival, which must sting even if Cordelia doesn’t have the full story to why she’s helping grace but from Cordelia’s side she’s seeing her best friend and the man she loves pick grace over her and that sucks, then you have Matthew who is trying to slowly bring UO to James that Grace isn’t worth it and getting screamed at over it. Basically, both of them are kind of “left behind” and they formed a friendship from that general state of just being the only ones left to pair up like the two kids without partners for a school project who end up liking each other and staying friends but wouldn’t have become friends if they hadn’t had this series of events leading them together.
They are fine as friends, love triangle bullshit is dumb, should have just been the tlh version of Emma and Cristina is my ending point sorry for annoying you with a thesis called “platonic fairstairs made total sense, cc is just too romance minded to not fuck it up and I don’t blame people for rejecting romantic fairstairs but to say their friendship is fake or came out of nowhere is a little bit of a stretch for me personally.”
hi anon!!
i feel you and I'm with you!! I hate romantic Fairstairs, but platonic?! I love that relationship.
That's frustrating, true, but it's as simple as people hate Matthew and therefore don't want him associated with the characters they like, or even worse, accept that he could be an important part of their lives, and will do all sorts of mental gymnastics to discredit their friendship.
Anna and Matthew are a whole other topic, but from what I remember, it's only said that they're close, and we barely see that relationship. Plus I personally don't like Anna, so I like him being friends with someone else. I love TMT - hope they can work out their issues ofc - but they all can and should have friends outside of that.
Oh absolutely! I think their relationship is awesome! They have great banter and are comfortable around each other, and caring and they pay attention to each other. Matthew never took advantage of her, genuinely cares about her as a friend, and did that even before he was "in love", and he was nothing but respectful and clear about his feelings. He said he'd respect her boundaries in Paris, too.
I know some people will try their best to ignore the good things about him and that relationship, but Matthew was the only one that was there for her throughout all the mess with James and other things. (just so we're clear, it's on no way am attempt at shitting on Alastair; he was there for her all their lives and he's trying his best and I love him; also, Cordelia herself didn't give him a chance to help in this case; but I'm just stating a fact)
He was a steady friend who supported her all the time - made her laugh, cheered her up. Remember how free she felt during their little trip? Matthew gave her a chance to feel carefree and reckless for a moment, something her golden child syndrome and lonely upbringing with Elias didn't allow much of. James (tho it's not his fault) only stressed her out and she was suffocating in that relationship, while Matthew let her breathe more freely. Overlooking that just because you hate him is,,,, a choice.
Even the scene after Elias's death - it wasn't Matthew's intention to be insensitive about it (was he, actually? it did make her feel better, so I'm not sure what to think) He attempted to cheer her up, and then the monster thing was also supposed to do that. And perhaps it wasn't the best way of doing so, but that's not his fault. He didn't make it about him - he just tried to help the way he thought would be best. I saw people say that trying to relate to someone else's problems is a thing many ND people do as means of showing support, and Matthew is sometimes suggested to be ADHD, sooo
You're right, they seem to work well together and not make their respective "fatal flaws" worse.
And Matthew is more relaxed around her, but also more open and vulnerable - as you say, he doesn't need to pretend so much, doesn't need to put on a show.
That's a very interesting point about Grace, and you're totally right! I think Matthew is even aware of that - he kinda feels like both him and Cordelia were abandoned by James and wants to somehow make up for it to her, but also is looking for a friend himself, for someone to support and see him. They're both losing James to Grace, and can bond over that.
The little kids in a group metaphor is beautiful, thanks dear.
yes yes yes
yes
i still remember how my heart raced when Matthew told her that their group was missing something - and it was her. It seemed like a start of such a beautiful friendship, and I'm starving for m/f friendships. But alas, CC can't write those :'))
so yes, thank you, I agree, and you don't annoy me at all!! feel free to send whatever thesis you wanna share <3
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anonymouslyangsty · 3 years
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What’s your favorite au? Like just in general
Hm.
I always love a good action/adventure fic. There's nothing like a group of people forming connections together through facing hardship! So anything that gets the characters out and about, fighting some type of foe, is totally my jam. Superhero aus fit into that desire VERY well, so I'm a big fan of those.
I also really like swap aus. Not exactly talentswaps DR style (though that does count), but more of changing the role of a character within a game, like swapping backstories or narrative purposes.
These, and all swaps actually, are kinda hit or miss for me. Because so often, they swap EVERYTHING. What's the point of a swap if the role in the story AND the personality changes? If you give Gang Leader!Kiyotaka Mondo's personality, it's just Mondo but in a different body.
When it's actually good is when the unique personality is considered, while still putting the character in that new role. THAT'S when I love it, be it a talentswap, or something deeper.
(way off topic, but there are no aus swapping Taka and Byakuya's backstories and I think that's such a wasted opportunity. Like seriously, they're the two who come from powerful family names; why isn't more done with that in the fandom? Just consider Kiyotaka Togami and Byakuya Ishimaru. Please.)
Moving on to more DR specific things, Mastermind!Hiro!!!!!! Gosh, @mangoshibi's mastermind Hiro is just...my favorite mastermind au. There's just something great about the last person you'd expect being the mastermind. And also? I like the idea of Hiro being just a bit evil. Please. Give this man some edge.
But to be more specific, Mango's MM!Hiro is just so good? I love that he didn't START evil, but is more of a "fall from grace" type character. He tried so hard to get the ending where everyone was happy, but fate refused to change. It's his compassion that's his ultimate downfall, and I ADORE that.
Plus it just has so much room for consideration, because there are countless loops we don't see. We can always imagine that slow decent into madness, with Hiro having to watch all these kids die time and time again. You can't help but wonder how they died each time, even with Hiro interfering to try and stop it.
And that fact of the AU is perfect, because that same curiosity is part of what fuels Hiro's decent into villainy.
Speaking of mastermind aus, MM!Chihiro. Just consider it and realize that it's a good idea. Strength vs weakness instead of hope vs despair. Maybe protag!Mondo, since he's also connected to the strength and weakness theme.
Okay one final mastermind au. MM!Takaaki. I found this AWESOME post about it months ago and fell in love with the idea. You can find the idea here
I just appreciate the idea of Takaaki just going way overboard with the protective dad thing. Because somebody's got to look after Taka. I feel like this au is especially impactful, because we KNOW that, if Mondo dies before him, nobody really cares when Taka dies. They do him dirty.
Okay, I don't think this counts as a type of au, but I don't care. Any fic/art/whatever that uses Despair Disease is good in my book. That poor motive was SO underused. Like SO underused it's a crime.
Speaking of DR2 stuff, the 77th class as Remnants of Despair. I don't know why I like Remnant!Kiyotaka so much, given that I'm not a big fan of MM!Kiyotaka, but I just do. Perhaps it's the fact that a Remnant Taka WAS the Ultimate Moral Compass, was the hopeful, honest boy who wanted to change the world for the better.
And then that faith and hope is utterly crushed, torn away by forces stronger than even Taka's will.
Perhaps the reason I like Remnant!Taka more than MM!Taka is because there's hope in the Remnant. Hope for Taka to return to normal, rather than being beyond redemption. And that hope means he has the chance to wake up and realize all the horrific things he's done. And I think that's wonderful.
There are not a lot of Remnant!Taka fics, as far as I know at least. But I DID find Love, That Which is Earned which I loved. It's definitely not your typical Remnant!Taka, but that just makes it unique.
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askaceattorney · 3 years
Text
Off I pop
A little tribute to my dad there.  ; )
Hap’piraki once again!  Here we are at my final day as a moderator here (temporarily, at least), so...
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(Oh, jeez...  What am I supposed to say here?  Where’s a cue card when you need one?)
So, to begin with, let me reiterate that I’m planning to be gone until July -- that may change, but that’s the plan for now -- and by “gone” I don’t mean I won’t be around, just that I won’t be answering letters.  I’ll still check in every now and then to make sure things are going all right, and I’ll continue posting the remaining character essays that have been requested.  This won’t include any new requests you may have, though, so you’ll either have to ask a different mod or wait until I get back for that.
In the meantime, I’d like to share a few short things about myself, and how Ace Attorney and Ask Ace Attorney have, in my opinion, changed my life for the better.
...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeelow the cut.
So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been dealing with some serious struggles in recent days.  Oddly enough, most of them haven’t been directly related to the pandemic, the political tension, or anything else 2020 brought with it.  For me, the biggest struggles have been internal ones, most of which had to do with my self-confidence.
I’m going to borrow a quote from the Mod (writing as Dahlia Hawthorne, of all people): “When a person speaks, they say whatever is on their mind.  When a person writes, they are allowed to revise and rework.  Literature is the distillation of a person’s intentions into even a single sentence.”  In other words (no pun intended), writing lets a person say things in the most polished way they can, without having to worry about things like stuttering, second-guessing, or sounding insincere.  That’s the version of me that you get here.
In the real world, I’m as human as anyone else: dealing with things like stress, anger, self-doubt, depression, anxiety, worry, lack of motivation, etc.  I’d like to say that I deal with these flaws as best as humanly possible, but that isn’t the case a lot of the time.  In the 30+ years I’ve been alive, I’ve been guilty (no pun intended) of letting my emotions get the best of me, giving up on things too easily, wasting time lamenting the past, and treating myself worse than Franziska treats Gumshoe.  I can’t claim to have been very nice to everyone else I’ve met, either.
The point of this post isn’t to whine about my shortcomings, though.  See, out of all the demons I’ve had to face, one of the worst has been the idea that I can’t do anything well enough for it to make any real difference in the world, and never will be able to.  I hope you haven’t had to struggle with this idea yourself, but if so, you have my sympathy.
Thankfully, I happened to discover a video game series and a fan-made blog that helped me realize how untrue that idea was.  Which ones am I referring to?  I’ll give you one guess.
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Like many people do when they suddenly gain some new responsibility (even if it’s something they like), when I first joined the blog,  I struggled with a thing called “impostor syndrome,” which is, according to the internet, “an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be.”  Sure, I’d done some comedic writing for fun before, and I'd known about Ace Attorney and its characters for quite a while, but was I really qualified to continue the Ace Admin and the Mod’s labor of love?  And what would it mean if I wasn’t?  Over 11,000 people (minus some bots) were reading what I wrote, after all, so could I continue making the blog enjoyable for all of them?
(Trick question -- satisfying everyone is an impossible feat, it turns out.)
Questions like that bugged me consistently, but thanks to the love of Ace Attorney I shared with the fan base, and the creativity afforded by its fun characters and their incredible stories, I was able not only to power through the challenges of running a popular blog, but to help make it into something even bigger than it was before, as well as gaining some interesting insights from people about a wide range of topics: the law, morality, science, religion, history, politics, philosophy...
...hairstyles...
...and so on.  I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen when I started out, but I sure didn’t see anything like that coming.
So, in summary, this blog and the series that inspired it didn’t just help me to maintain a healthy self-image, which is something every person needs; it’s been a huge part of what kept me sane these last few years.  Athena and her psychotherapy may not be real, but being able to strengthen my writing, artistic, and comedic skills here -- and to delight so many people while doing it -- might have been the closest I could possibly get to it.
And that, my friends, is where you come in.  I’ve said it plenty of times before, but here it is again: this blog couldn’t possibly exist without you.  Whatever reason you may have had for writing a letter to me, a different moderator, or the character of your choice -- whether it was curiosity, love, criticism, or just for the heck of it -- I want you to know that it played a part in reminding me that I, like everyone else, shortcomings and all, am capable of making a difference in the world, even if it’s just for a few Phellow Phoenix Phans.  Needless to say, I’ve appreciated every last bit of it.
My hope is to be able to do something similar to this in the future, possibly on a larger scale (what exactly, I don’t know), but even if that doesn’t come to pass, I’ll always be grateful for the positive impact I was able to make here thanks to your interaction, support, and willingness to appreciate the genius of Ace Attorney alongside me.  I repeat myself, but you guys are awesome.  Never stop being that way.
And yeah, I realize this isn’t my final goodbye.  I just thought I should treat it like it was just in case.  ; )
Anyway, it’s time for one last thing this post would be incomplete without: a heartfelt...
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I’ll see you ‘round, folks!
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-The Co-Mod
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peachymess · 3 years
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I'm honestly so perplexed by that last Freddy Krueger anon. Like.. you don't owe anyone an intrinsic explanation about why you like the fictional villains that you like in order to appease people. If someone feels unsafe on your blog, the block and unfollow buttons are free. It never fails to surprise me how entitled some people feel to demand explanation for everything, when they are in full control of who they follow at any given time and can easily unfollow if they see something that makes them uncomfortable. It's not about "protecting" people either, the motive is always to find an excuse to incite harassment, which is is honestly terrifying.
I won’t venture to claim what the other anon’s intentions are on their behalf. We definitely live in an age that over-encourages individuals to speak with a misplaced authority of the collective’s needs and opinions - and that hasn’t always worked to society’s benefit. A recent example I can think of, is Demi Lovato reprimanding a local froyo shop for selling sugar free products (claiming it to be harmful diet culture) - not realizing that what is disliked by her, is actually appreciated by others (people who can’t have sugar, etc). That’s an example of an individual, instead of speaking from a place of their own experience, taking on the voice of a whole group (she wanted to help other ED-recoverers as well as later saying she wanted to help the whole world). In her case, as with so many others, it would be much more beneficial to just approach it from your own POV. “I am an ED-recovered and having to pass this stance in order to pay, triggered me. I know it would help me if you moved that section to the other side of the pay desk, so maybe others would appreciate it too”.
Yes, sometimes approaching something from your own POV is just better. It strips away that claim of authority that people will disagree with - where your message gets lost under the weight of “I am speaking for one and all”, because of its impossibility by nature.
So I’m not saying the other anon was out to scold me, but you’re right that there is a difference between coming to me as a person with a need of clarity, and of coming to me as an authority telling me I need to accommodate a group or else. Because you’re right, I don’t owe anyone an explanation. It’s not a crime to have a positive relation to the Nightmare in Elm street franchise, and it doesn’t make me a bad person.
And I have to admit that some of the words that anon used, made me feel as though I was being told I “better have a good explanation for this, or else you are bad”. Especially when the anon said “us/we” rather than just coming to me as themselves with their own experience of how my post made them want to reach out for clarity.
But here’s the thing: I chose to approached the ask as if this was one individual telling me that due to their own experience, they felt unsure of what to make of my interest. I asked myself “what if this is a mutual?” I don’t want to lose them if it’s due to an issue that can be cleared up by communicating rather than blocking. I appreciate the chance to assure them I’m safe (although I deliberately did not say “I am a safe space for CSA-survivors”, because it’s not up to me to claim what feels safe to them; all I can do is provide my stance and then they can determine if that feels comfortable to them or not. I sure hope I feel safe, and I know my intentions are good, but I can’t demand anyone to feel comfortable with me if they aren’t). I appreciate that chance to set everything straight, instead of being instantly assumed to be this or that, and blocked without the chance to remedy a misunderstanding. Anon’s intentions being this or that; either way, I got the chance to elaborate on something that seemed to upset at least one person, and so it might upset more people as well.
And even if I do not need to preface certain content with “I do not condone what the character portrays”, when it comes to certain heavy topics, I do feel as though some extra consideration from my side would not be a bad idea. Especially this. That’s why I’m happy to tag Freddy from now on.
And even if they’re not a mutual - even if they’re just someone who followed me yesterday - hey... I swore to myself to be as honest and authentic as I can in every situation. Here’s the truth: I want to be liked. I’m surely not alone in that, but it’s hard to admit, because it feels like an admission of fakery. That isn’t the case; I am true to myself. But I also want to explain why I believe myself to be a generally good person (flawed to the fingertips, and definitively have my bad days, but I strive for good none the less), when I feel as though that is questioned. If I were blocked without the chance to explain, I’d feel... I’d feel that weight of someone’s judgement for a bit. It would nag at me. Now, I’d move on. For sure. I honestly mean it when I say blocking me is fine if that’s what you want (“you” being anyone in this case), but I will always prefer the chance to hear why - in case there is some misunderstanding I can clear up. I don’t like the feeling of people disliking me. I definitely work on handling that, of course, because opinions will always vary if you do anything at all. But yeah... if I’ve made anyone uncomfortable, I genuinely like to try and rectify that. Both for me and for them. And if they don’t actually need it but just want to call me out, then just for me.
Just as a digression, I’ve thought about it, and I think that the reason this new generation of needing disclaimers around topics like these - people wanting you to clarify why you enjoy this or that problematic character - has a cause: it is no longer taken for granted that you do not condone/support what they stand for on a deeper level. I’m gonna be a bit of a grandpa right now and say that “back in my day”, I remember it was much more taken for granted. That underneath the “hell yeah awesome movie”, there was an unspoken “duh!”-ness to the fact that you did not support robbing casinos or racing cars over the speed limit or killing etc. I can’t tell you why it’s no longer taken for granted that people have their real life morals in shape. But knowing that it isn’t seen as a given anymore, I don’t really blame the younger generation for needing disclaimers. They’re literally being taught by their own feedback loops that they need to be vigilant of what people’s interests say about them on a deep, deep level. And maybe that’s justified, I can’t really be the authority to say. But at least it’s understandable. And anyone who’s genuine in their pursuit for clarification, is fine to get it from me.
Morality harassment, as you talk about, is not ok though. The anon hasn’t come back to say my relationship with A nightmare on elm street wasn’t up to their moral demands yet, though, so for now I choose to see it as a possibly poorly worded genuine ask. And I’m happy to elaborate to people like that.
Thank you for this ask, anon. I enjoyed getting that out. I’m not blind to the issue of morality policing and I was happy to get to elaborate on why I answered the anon anyways.
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I feel like Mahiru is one of Danganronpa’s most underrated characters. Of course, her development isn’t necessarily on par with a bunch of other characters who lived much longer than she did (with DR3′s “rushed” side and how many characters it had for such a short anime, I feel like including it would be unfair - everything DR3 Twilight Syndrome told us had already been at least insinuated by SDR2′s), especially as SDR2, as awesome of a game as it is, doesn’t do as great of a job of balancing its characters as its prequel, imo at least.
She was, however, written with the same intent as any other DR character- she’s the main character of her own story (and I’m not talking about the popular headcanon that she could have been the protagonist here). While she may have died early, only having been a headstrong but kind-hearted young girl as far as the main story went, Chapter 2′s motive explored her backstory and the very reason for her death brings up what makes her so strong... through very banal words, in fact.
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(Props to @/miodaislifemiodaislove on Facebook for bringing this scene back to my attention)
Out of context, this screenshot very much gives off “people die when they are killed” vibes but that’s just what makes her a protagonist in our hearts. Within context, though, this is a pretty Hot Take. Thanks to DR3, we now have an idea of how close Satou and herself were, and the sadness she felt when she lost her. SDR2′s second motive pits Mahiru and Fuyuhiko one against the other through the sheer idea that remembering what happened will make the both of them want to use the Killing Game to get revenge for the loved one they lost. However, Mahiru decides to talk things out with Fuyuhiko.
At this point in the story, Fuyuhiko hasn’t even considered becoming friendly, if memory serves me right at least. Mahiru has to be aware how dangerous meeting with him is, especially with the knowledge that the game informed him of her involvement in Natsumi’s death, but she decided to risk it anyway. She never planned to kill him (a very honest Fuyuhiko tells us that much)- even though the game had informed her of Fuyuhiko’s involvement in Satou’s death. Simply because she strongly believes that revenge is wrong. These aren’t just words she says- she’s convinced of it. She could have hidden in fear, or called for help, but Mahiru decided to take the matter into her own hands... and most likely trusted in Fuyuhiko enough to believe she had a chance to knock some sense into him. No matter how unfriendly the guy was, she believed in him to be strong in that sense- and she might have been right, but she was unfortunately unaware of Peko’s relationship to him and her upbringing.
Looking into what happened in Chapter 2 does, in fact, tell us a lot about Mahiru’s personality, her strengths and weaknesses. The kind of person she is, more than on a surface level. With her family life in mind, I find it very interesting how independent she’s willing to be despite her sweet personality (more so portrayed in DR3 than SDR2, again, if memory serves me right), and her will to believe in giving people a chance... It hits hard, bro.
I feel like Mahiru is underrated because a lot of people dismiss her as “useless” (when they don’t hate her for being sexist which is a whole other topic and, imo, misconception about her characterization) and because people who do stan her are often dismissed as “fanboys/girls” who just happen to have a thing for girls like her. In truth, I feel like even though SDR2 sometimes failed to balance its characters’ time in the spotlight, Mahiru was very intelligently shown to us and she is one of the few early-game victims to have been properly explored before dying.
Mahiru isn’t useless. Thinking about her protagonist potential- I wonder just how popular she would be if she’d been the protagonist up until her death, similarly to Kaede. Her being a victim would immediately make it all the more tragic.
In any case, SDR2 dates back a bit to me now, and I’m glad to be able to give myself a refresher on what happened and what makes the characters I love the interesting little bastards they are. I would love to have time to replay it someday and look into early victims/killers with a lot more depth.
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theshinsun · 3 years
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oh Kise?
oh worm??
Why I like them
I’m actually gaining a whole new appreciation for Kise these days; underneath the airy smiley surface he’s a really nuanced character, and every time I rewatch/reread KNB I notice something new about him. I love how his passion for basketball grew when he decided to devote himself to it, and how he’s inspired by Aomine and motivated by losing to Kuroko and Kagami, how he’s desperate to improve and play to the point of overwork and injuring himself, and still keeps going. He’s got a very satisfying arc when he learns to appreciate his team and respect his seniors, and I’ve learned to appreciate and respect him for it too.
Why I don’t
All that said... sometimes he can still be a little grating. He’s a little too superficial sometimes, especially dealing with his fangirls, and he seems to get the anime trope treatment disproportionately often compared to the other GoM. Much as his arc and motivations are well-written, I feel like they could be pushed just that little bit further to make him more compelling, but that’s honestly getting into nitpicks, he’s still a great character for what he ended up being.
Favorite episode (scene if movie)
This might not seem like a very important scene, compared to some of his others, but I just fuckin... love the restaurant scene after the first Seirin/Shuutoku game, where he sits at the same table as Kagami, Kuroko and Midorima, and talks about why they play basketball and how losing changes them. (Midorima looking at him and saying he’s changed “your eyes... they’re strange”, before realizing he’s actually gone back to how he was before the Teiko finals is... Important to me) 
Favorite season/movie
Season three Kise can GET it. The ultimate glo up, he’s so awesome in the game against Haizaki’s team, and rematch against Seirin; I love Kasamatsu being like “go give them a greeting” and he just squares tf up it’s so badass. Side-note -- he’s also one of the only characters the Last Game treated well, after being considered “the worst of the bunch” he totally earned his moment to be the best, most powerful member of the GoM for a little while.
Favorite line
That moment in the Seirin/Kaijo game when he gets off the bench despite his coach’s disagreements and goes back into the game, because “I love this team”. I cry every time. “I liked being Kise of Kaijo” is a close runner-up.
Favorite outfit
Okay all his model outfits slap, but hear me out... season one when he shows up at Seirin and goes one-on-one with Kagami, still in his suit pants and shirt and he still kicks ass... iconic.
OTP
Um... so KiKasa or KiKuro seem like obvious choices, and they do have some great development... but I’m actually weaker to KagaKise I think. I don’t know why there’s something about their dynamic, they’re just such friendly rivals (by season 3 at least) and seem to bring out some really good things in each other (and I love the concept of Kagami being able to get Kise to loosen up and be more human, see Two if by Sea by tormalyne) their relationship is just so interesting to me. KiKuro is also up there but I think KagaKise beats them out by a hair.
Brotp
MidoKise. I have seen the light. I could also see them work as a romantic pairing, but the way they play off each other and banter is the Actual Best no matter the context I love these guys.
Head Canon
Kise strikes me as like, the worst enabler in existence. I feel like he shrugs off serious topics and plays things off as no big deal all the time, and he just does whatever he can to minimize discomfort and drama, if it means avoiding difficult conversations, or placating people with material things to get them off his case. He lets a lot of things slide and turns a blind eye when there might actually be something wrong, and it’s not very healthy how he constantly dodges people’s efforts to help him.
Unpopular opinion
Not really an unpopular opinion as much as a lack of understanding, but I just don’t... get AoKise. I mean I get it, but I don’t Get it, you know? Like they’re alright, they’ve got history and some chemistry and you all know I ship Aomine w literally everyone, but I just... still can’t get myself to see it as anything more than a casual fwb deal, or at best an unrequited love. I don’t see the compelling star-crossed romance other people seem to see, I don’t know why. (If anyone wants to try to convert me, I’m all ears, I’m mostly just perplexed by the popularity of this ship). 
A wish
I sincerely wish Fujimaki had the balls to make Kise gay. Not as a device to set him up with people so my ships can be canon, far from it, I just think he’d be a much more compelling character if he was, and out of everyone in KNB (except maybe Mibuchi) he’s the one with the most pieces laid out. It’s right there, and it would add so much depth; having to put on a hetero performance for the sake of his modeling career, trying to differentiate between genuine admiration and attraction, worrying about not being accepted by the friends he’s been able to make if he were to come out... it’s just a shame we weren’t given that bc Fujimaki insists on having everyone but the caricatures be straight. 
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen
I think the worst thing that could happen to Kise is for him to get bored with basketball. Because that will mean there probably isn’t anything he can get into that he won’t tire of eventually, and it leaves the rest of his future looking pretty bleak. I don’t know how likely it is to happen, but at his rate of improvement he very well might face an Aomine-esque spiral one day, and that is... a troubling thought. 
5 words to best describe them
Bright. Flashy. Idyllic. Pursuant. Ravenous.  
My nickname for them
Golden Boy. I also tend to call him a labrador retriever in my head, which, if you know the parallels I draw between him and Mr Peanutbutter...
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Survey #466
“she is the butcher, she wants the air  /  she hides the scars under her hair”
Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. What do you do when you’re pissed off? Isolate and cry. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Good luck catchin' me do that. What did your mother study at university? Social work. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have zero idea. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid weather can actually fuck off. What was the last housework you did? Does changing my cat's litter count? Have you ever had famous neighbors? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? Nope. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? NO EW EW EW EW EW Do you talk to your pets? If you don't, are you REALLY a pet parent??????? Who is a famous person you could see yourself reading a biography about? He's always said he doesn't want to but I really hope Mark writes an autobiography one day alskdjklafjw;ejr Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. What skill that you have do you make most use of? idk man Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Nah. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? No. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Sometimes/some places yes, other times/places, no. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? It would probably change with what I'm feeling, but I lean towards a nice center piece brownie. :^) If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? This literally never happens. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Our mall is lame as fuck. It definitely doesn't have one. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Mark, lmao. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? "Confined" seems like a strong word, but a nurse did give me one at the doctor's office when I massively tore a ligament in my foot and could barely walk at all. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Don't remind me that I don't have a job. Have you told anyone you love them today? Not yet, but I'm sure I will later. Have you ever worked in an office? No, but I guess that's what I'm going to wind up going for once I'm ready to job-hunt again... It feels sad that I'm actually aiming for the cubicle life now just because my interaction with people would be much more limited than with most other jobs. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? My mom. Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? I don't even know if I'd recognize the taste difference. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? That I'm embarrassed of, no. Can you smell anything right now? No. Have you ever tried coconut water? No. Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Idk. Maybe Japan? How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no idea. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? No. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? No. Just the idea grosses me out. Where is your next vacation? Couldn't tell ya, buddy. Which are better black or green olives? I'm not a fan of black olives, and I won't even TRY green ones. They just look so fucking disgusting to me. Does your car have a backup camera? Mom's doesn't. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? No. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Is your skin more oily, dry, or combination? It's a combination depending on the location. Where did you meet your current significant other? High school band. What kind of house do you wish you lived in? One that's in the woods. What was the last compliment you received from an old lady? I don't have a clue. Do you know how to cut hair? Properly, no. Have you ever had a classmate die? I believe maybe once? If you have a song stuck in your head, what is it? I recently discovered "Foxy, Foxy" by Rob Zombie and it's Good Stuff. Do you tend to space out a lot? Very much so. What people have changed your life for the better? My parents, my psychiatrist, a PHP therapist, Sara, debatably Jason... Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? Caffeine, I guess. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? They're divorced, and while it sucks for your parents to split up, it's a decision that I definitely approve of given all they ever did was fight when I was growing up. Them staying together would've been very destructive. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? Well yeah, and I like a large number of songs to where I'd consider myself a fan. I actually had a shirt in high school. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? I don't believe so. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? Honestly, yes. Like he's done dumb shit, but has more than sufficiently apologized for it in my opinion and changed his behavior for the better. I also - astonishingly - like his music quite a bit. As well, his work ethic is fucking INCREDIBLE, like extremely admirable. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so. I don't even think she ever liked me. Do you disgust anyone? Did they tell you that? Why is this, anyways? Not that I know of. When was the last time you cried, and why (if you want to share)? I don't remember, actually. Probably just about life. Who was the last person who was rude to you? *shrug* Do you have a relationship with God? lol no, and even if I believed in him, I wouldn't have a remotely decent opinion of that entity. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, yes. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a kid, being a girl, I was so embarrassed by liking Pokemon. Now, I am literally wearing an Eeveelutions shirt and went out in public lmao. I couldn't care less about loving them cuties. Have you ever walked outside in below zero weather? No; I've never experienced those temperatures. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, but I was sitting down. I would be WAY too scared of dropping a baby otherwise. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? I legitimately think most of my friends on there already have kids and/or are married/engaged. It's triggering sometimes and was a massive motivator for me taking a break from there. What’s something you believe in that most people don’t? So uh, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive given how it just passed, but I 100% believe the U.S. government was to some extent involved in 9/11. There is an incredible amount of evidence when you do the research. Is there anyone who’s dear in your heart who’s going down the wrong path? I worry about one of my good friends quite a bit. She is horribly addicted to pot (like, she admits it) in a state where it's not legal, and I'm concerned she'll face legal repercussions eventually. She also dates an absolute lowlife asshole, but they've been together for a very long time, and I just worry about how that might damage her later down the road. Do you get enough sleep? God, it never feels like it. What’s something you wish you would have known sooner? That college wouldn't work for me. Like, I dropped out of three. I do NOT want to know the debt I'm in. What’s the next big project you plan to start? Idk. Possibly something for Girt's birthday because Mom really pissed me off and doesn't want to spend *any*thing to help me get something for him. Is that bad on my end? Like she pointed out he knows I don't work, but like... come on. He's my bf, one of my greatest friends ever, and you can't spare anything? I really don't know if that's selfish or not; it's just that if I get him nothing, I will feel like ACTUAL garbage. So making something may just be my only option. I just dunno what... Do you think you were cute in your baby pictures? omg yes, idk what happened Do you remember pre-school? A lot of it, yes. My long-term memory is pretty damn amazing. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes. Does your town have a farmer’s market? I think so? Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pokemon GO, lol. How old were you when you met your current best friend? Around 11. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Photography is coming real fuckin close. I've been trying to go somewhere with that for YEARS. Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Physically read. I think my attention would stray listening to an audiobook. Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? It's possible, idk. I had a doctor's appointment today that absolutely slaughtered my mood, so I feel fucking horrific, but Girt is also coming over today, and I'm sure he'll cheer me up. I won't see him tomorrow, so that's a bummer. With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Sara. What is the last thing you complained about? It's hot as shit outside. Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? 13 Reasons Why. What was the last topic that you ranted about? Anti-vax bullshit. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Bitch, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. What did you do last Halloween? Literally nothing on the actual holiday. :/ Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real… just once? ... To get out of school, yes. :x What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I am still positively livid about Texas' "heartbeat bill." Fuck that place and fuck that law. What is one insecurity you have about your body? Um, everything???? What is one part of your body that you are proud of? Nothing????
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undignifiend · 3 years
Text
Theme Ramblings - On Evil, Honesty, Violence, and Better Ways to Rule Number Two (Local Windbag Spends All Night Pontificating Again)
I really like Trollhunters and Tales of Arcadia. I feel like it addresses important themes that I also want to address in my own writing, and I feel like that is part of what makes it an awesome world and story to explore, through the original stories, and through fanfiction. I find exploring ideas within an already established world is very helpful and therapeutic. So here are my current thoughts on some of those themes, which have also been informed by various other stories. Narrative is one of the ways through which we process the world. And one of my goals is to learn how to do that with clarity, practicality, and compassion. So here’s a bit of what I think I’ve learned so far.
Warnings: Talking about violence, with pain and trauma. Stay safe. Also, spoilers for Tales of Arcadia - Wizards, and for the film You Were Never Really Here.
+++++
‘Evil’ is not a word that holds a lot of weight with me, at least not the way I feel it’s commonly used, especially in stories. Some bully without any redeeming qualities beating someone up for a power trip is a common motif, but I don’t find it a compelling or useful model of how or why some people act shitty, or how to possibly fix it nonviolently. As something of a determinist, I don’t believe our decisions just pop out of a vacuum - rather, that they are informed by our experiences, which we react to in healthy or unhealthy ways depending on what we think we understand and what we want to protect.
Or at least I think that’s a nice idea, but I don’t know how practical it actually is. For instance, maybe there are actual people who are just idiots, cowards, or cruel and nothing more, and interacting with them in a good-faith manner is an entirely hopeless waste of our limited time - especially when those mofos are actively threatening people. “They’re complex people, too!” seems kind of irrelevant when they’re calling for killing those who disagree with them, for example.
Maybe I’m having trouble with this idea because I haven’t actually recognized such mind-numbing simplistic malice in anyone directly involved in my life. I’m starting to think I might be spoiled that way.
I also want to emphasize that I’m not even remotely claiming “Everyone is right in their own ways”. Some mofos out there are objectively incorrect. I’m currently convinced that we all think we’re right, but not that we all are. Or that even when we realize we’re wronging someone, we tend to spin narratives that twist the situation to make ourselves look better, or even like we’re “The Real Victims! D:” to justify and excuse something we may otherwise deem tragic.
What horrifies me (what I’ve witnessed) is when harm is done by people who think they’re doing the right thing, or that they’re justified, or that it’s normal. People who otherwise have potential to do good, making a selfish call out of fear, anger, apathy, a misplaced sense of righteousness, or even just a desperate and ill-advised attempt to feel seen or important. The ‘evil’ that scares me most is a loss of perspective that leads to (and justifies or excuses) tragedy. That loss of perspective, I also think, is a key part of what makes propaganda possible. Calling someone ‘evil’ is often intended to deface them and simplify them into a problem or obstacle to be rid of - no longer a complex individual, but a symbol of all that is wrong with the world - a bully or ‘monster’ without redeeming qualities. (Often represented as something “subhuman” that we supposedly don’t have to feel bad about killing.) An external threat to vanquish in favor of facing whatever horrible truth we’re running from, or what conditions led to people acting in these harmful, tragic ways. (And if we can understand those conditions, perhaps we can guard against them and hopefully even save some lives and change them for the better?) I think calling someone ‘evil’ is not only impractical (and useless when it comes to diagnosing why someone is behaving a certain way, or how to effectively either help them grow up or maybe at least help prevent them from causing more harm), I think it opens the door for otherwise good people to do horrific things, all the while avoiding the root of the problem, and calling themselves justified and heroic.
That’s part of why I’m so excited about Wizards. (Finally got to ToA!) I appreciated Arthur as an example of what’s familiar to me, and the kinds of thinking I want us to learn to recognize and avoid. His grief was relatable - we’ve all lost someone, and we all have people we want to protect. But it’s monumentally important that we don’t commit Arthur’s tragedy, and take our pain out on others. And it’s also important that we don’t dismiss the pain that others are struggling to cope with, as Arthur dismissed Morgana’s and the trolls’ when he called them evil. And part of why I genuinely like Arthur as a character (not just an antagonist) was that he came around and admitted that he was wrong, and wanted to repair the damage he did.
At least until his Green Knight chapter, the motivations of which I’m still unsure of. I’m not the sharpest crayon in the shed, but it seemed like a non sequitur to me... after a certain point. If you have some insight into what’s going on with him, I’m all ears. I’m a little worried I might just be projecting my issues again.
So far, here’s what I think I can glean: I relate to the lines “How can I be at peace when the world is still broken?” and “He awoke to a legacy of a violent and awful world.” I don’t want to get into the specifics of my own experiences, but I understand the horror of “waking up” to a horrifying reality, and the motivation to try to change it somehow. The all-consuming restlessness of it, and the inability to escape or reconcile it, and the constant, never-ending tension that slowly rips you apart and isolates you from everyone and poisons your faith in humanity because you’ve looked into the abyss so long you now recognize that it’s where you’ve lived all along. Because no matter what kind of new equilibrium you scramble for, the truth remains that terrible, unnecessary harm is being done, and will continue to be done (and justified and excused and even laughed at) by otherwise good people until we all die out - and that will be our legacy even as we continue to squawk empty platitudes about how intelligent and compassionate and special we are, and nothing makes any of that okay.
In my worst, most melodramatic moments, I even understand the ‘Let it all burn, if it can’t be saved’ mentality. But I don’t have a lot of patience for defeatism, so it’s not a mentality I can take seriously for long at all, and that’s where my understanding (if I may be so pretentious?) of the Green Knight stops. Because I know there are many others who have seen what I’ve seen and feel the same way I do, and believe that a better way is possible, however distant, and who have done loads more than I have to change it. And (perhaps more importantly) I know that even those who perpetuate some of the same harms I want to stop, and even crack jokes about it, are still good people who mean well, and have their own pains to cope with.
What I want is for us (and our heroes) to recognize when we are being dishonest or unfair, and to call ourselves out, even when it’s inconvenient (or when it feels impossible, like when we’re scared, angry, or hurt). I love and admire people who can face their feelings and uncertainties honestly, and I want to be like them, because I believe that’s the most important, constructive kind of courage there is, it’s part of growing into a stronger, kinder person, and this stupid world needs a lot more of that in it.
And I think the whole topic of Evil is connected to our fascination with violence, and those who are skilled at it. (Though I’m not here to say ‘Violence Bad’. I know it’s not that simple.) In some situations, no other method has a chance of saving you or those you want to protect, and if you find yourself in such a situation, it pays to be good at violence, and to have friends who are, too. The stakes are high, so it makes for great drama, and is prevalent in stories all over the world. This also makes it a rather dramatic delivery system for Justice - or the Retributive version, anyway. Retribution is visceral, and easily understood, and speaks to our instincts of promoting and preserving status (teaching others not to screw us over or They’ll Pay), and discouraging harmful behaviors by harming the perpetrators...
I consider myself a rehabilitationist. But I understand the draw of retribution. I really do. The vast majority of my intrusive thoughts revolve around it, in particularly violent manners. It’s not fun, and it doesn’t feel powerful, and it feels weird to me to see stories that portray it as powerful, rather than as a failure or a loss. I understand the emotional desire to punish someone who has hurt an innocent. But I also understand it to a degree that transcends its original feelings of righteousness, takes itself to eyebrow-raising extremes, and makes me sick. Retribution has been glorified all throughout our history, and it scratches a primal itch, and yes, sometimes it may be the only available answer in order to prevent further harm. (Rehabilitation requires far more resources than Retribution, often making it impractical or overly risky in contexts of scarcity. I think that’s a huge factor in why ideals like Law, Justice, and Decency break down in a lot of Post-Apocalyptic story environments. It’s not just that our sense of Order has collapsed, it’s that we no longer have the infrastructure to support the ideals that Order was established to protect - though I would Not say that our current “justice” system in the US is rehabilitative or even ethical, but that’s a whole other rant.) But beyond that, I don’t believe Retribution is practical or productive. I believe it’s tragically ironic, loses sight of context and systemic issues, lends false-credence to the idea that people are the way they are due to innate, immutable qualities rather than taking their environment and experiences into account, and as a result, opens the door for good people to, again, do and justify horrific things.
It’s a hard, brutal film to watch, but I recommend You Were Never Really Here. The violence in this film feels far more real than the violence I’ve seen in any other because they don’t dress it up, or make it flashy. It’s more like something you’d see in a hidden-camera documentary. And their honest treatment of it was a visceral reminder of what violence actually is.
It puts a gut-wrenching twist on the ‘revenge fantasy’ and what it actually means to watch someone suffer and die. Even someone who had it coming. There’s a painful empathy to this film in its treatment of the characters and all the rituals (harmful or not) they use to cope with the violence they in turn have suffered. And the climax of the film centers on the awful realization that, despite his efforts, the protagonist was unable to protect someone from violence, or having to inflict violence of her own - like him, she’s marked by it now, too. She absolutely did it in self-defense, but the fact that she had to do it is still tragic. She has to live and cope with it now, as he does. And in the final scene, there’s this hellish sense of separation between them as they are, and the comparatively bright, happy lives they might have lived if they had not had to go through such horrific experiences. It’s unstated, but there’s this intense feeling that they’re haunted. Like they can be near that bright, happy life, but never cross the veil to reach it, themselves. The film ends with the girl deciding to try and find some happiness anyway. (“It’s a beautiful day.”) It’s not a happy ending, but it’s a hopeful one. It’s not a Good Triumphs Over Evil story. It’s a painful confrontation with an awful reality, and the struggle to find a way to carry on somehow.
And that resonates. Because we all know to some degree or other what it’s like to confront something awful, something we can’t just deny or forget or reconcile, and to try to find some way to cope with it. That tension can be so painful that it’s understandable (but still not excusable) why people sometimes try to pin it all on a scapegoat - so they can take something insurmountable, and turn it into something they can fight and triumph over. It’s a form of processing our grief, but it’s unfair, dishonest, and harmful, and inflicts more grief on others.
Anyway, in this fanfic I’ve been puttering around on (and trying to explore these themes through), Jim tries to solve things non-violently (as he often tried to do in the show, which I really like). Someday/night, he might not have the option, or can’t see any other way out. He knows that he (or someone else) is being seen as an outlet for someone’s frustrations - they’re using him as a symbol to project their own problems and issues on - something external they can beat up and triumph over in place of something intangible.
If he’s going to fight this outlook, I think he has to understand it - on more than a theoretical level. He has to go there himself. Maybe he punches Steve after all. (Maybe in the 2nd draft - or maybe later in the current iteration.) And he hates it. He’s changed forever, but not the way he expected to be. He feels capable, and righteous, and he doesn’t regret standing up for Eli or himself, but he doesn’t feel good. Because even if it’s easier to just dismiss Steve as a bully, and even if it occurs to Jim to do that - and even if he can feel it viscerally for a moment, Jim isn’t going to lie to himself. He can still see what Steve is, past his own anger. Steve is lashing out because he feels wronged and powerless, and he’s acting like his dad because that’s who made him feel that way, and that’s who showed him how to deal with those same feelings. Steve is a kid trying to process what he’s been through. It’s easy to forget that when Steve is trying to beat Jim down - when Draal has been trying to beat him down, too - and he’s had enough of all these angry people twisting their ideas of him in their heads and taking their anger out on him. He fought back because he couldn’t see any other option for handling it, and Steve was not willing to give him one. But from this, Jim knows how it feels to be demonized (seen as a manifestation of someone’s problems, some enemy to vanquish). And it becomes monumentally important to him never to succumb to that way of thinking, himself.
He’s not a crusader. If he has to fight and hurt or kill someone, it’s not because he thinks they’re a manifestation of evil. It’s because he does not see any recourse in stopping them from hurting or killing others. To him, violence is a tragedy meant to prevent another tragedy. And whether that justifies it or not is a question he will have to carry.
A lot of the combat we see in media, I would classify as “action”, and not violence. The vast majority of the time, it’s a choreographed dance that’s fun to watch, full of cool stunts that look like they’d be fun to do. It’s more like competitive eye-candy than anything else.
It’s fun, and I like the idea of writing that, but only in the context of sparring, or play. I don’t even want to call those “fights” or make a distinction between those and a “real fight”, because fighting is violence, and I hope to write about violence as honestly as I can. That’s part of what I like and admire about a lot of Guillermo del Toro’s other works, too. It’s not a dance, and it’s not glorious*. It’s ugly, terrifying, and it hurts to watch, and it makes us worry for his characters all the more, because it forces us to acknowledge how vulnerable they really are.
*Or, glory as it’s often treated, I think. If there really is any glory to be had in real violence, I think it’s in the willingness to act in a crisis to protect others. Terror is notoriously paralyzing, so this is where the value of training comes in - as a kind of autopilot mode to fall back on, and suppress our panic in the moment. The emotional fallout and trembling will come after the crisis has passed, but in an emergency, not knowing what to do, and feeling helpless, can be one of the most devastating weapons against us.
Sparring and training can be a fun and exhilarating test of skill, where no one intends to maim or kill you. It’s completely different from fighting. In a fight, the goal is not to learn or grow or compete, the goal is to either kill someone, or hurt them so badly that they can’t try to hurt you (or anyone else) anymore (or enough to give you time to get away). It’s very stressful and often traumatizing. One wrong move will have lasting consequences, if you’re lucky enough to survive to put up with them. Even if you win, odds are, you’re going to get hurt - maybe permanently. It’s the visceral understanding that someone has decided to disassemble you, and the only way to stop them is to disassemble them first. It’s an ugly reminder of the components of our bodies, and how fragile they really are.
“There are better ways to finish a fight than punching someone in the face.”
I agree with this - there are better methods of conflict resolution, and we must use them. And I really like how Jim carried this forward in sparing Chompsky and Draal. But I also felt like Claire fundamentally failed to understand what she had witnessed (and maybe I’m the one who misunderstood). I just didn’t appreciate what I felt was a lecture from someone who didn’t get it. Not that I’d wish for her to get it - it’s a horrible position to be in. When someone is actively trying to hurt you, it’s hard as hell to remember those better ways, and there’s no guarantee that they would work - at this point, you have to get the attacker to stop quickly. Steve resisted all other attempts to defuse the situation, and I don’t think it’s fair to blame someone for fighting back.
“A hero is not he who is fearless, but he who is not stopped by it.”
But I’m also not going to put down someone who still seeks to defuse a situation, even despite the risks. That’s a huge gamble, and it requires a massive amount of courage and good faith in the other party, and it won’t always pay off. But when it works, I believe it can open up possibilities that might not otherwise exist, because to demonstrate good faith in someone is to demonstrate that you are Not The Enemy. I think Douxie demonstrated this marvelously with the Lady of the Lake in Wizards. He gave up the most powerful weapon he had - or what was left of it - to free Nimue rather than fight her when it looked like she was about to End everybody. Once he realized the truth of her situation, he took action to alleviate it - because he wasn’t going to beat up a prisoner, and he did not consider her imprisonment acceptable in the first place.
Jim is not a pacifist, in Trollhunters canon, or in the AU idea I’ve been messing with. He will fight to stop others from killing, and he might end up having to kill in the process if all other attempts fail. But (at least in this AU thing) he will see it as a tragic failure to bridge a gap. He refuses to succumb to the way of thinking that presents his opponents as evil, even if that would make it simpler for him to process their horrific actions. They’re living, complex beings, not symbols of everything wrong with the world. And often, the reason they’re trying to hurt others to begin with is because they have succumbed to that “seeing their opponents as evil” way of thinking, themselves. As Jim sees it in Building Bridges, that Lie is everyone’s greatest enemy. It’s part of what allows otherwise good people (like Arthur and Morgana) to do, justify, and condone horrific things.
He will fight if he must, but he will do his best to reach others first, to show them the truth, and try to find a way to effectively address whatever underlying pain is causing them to lash out. If Maria Edgeworth has a point about how “The human heart opens only to the heart that opens in return,” Jim will transcend “human” by taking the risk of opening his heart first (whether or not he also becomes a half-troll in this AU idea). I currently think that’s the most profound way to prove that “evil” view wrong.
This is not to say that he will do so incautiously. Jim takes his role as a protector seriously, and he will do what he must in service to that. But he sees potential in others, and values it. He’s not a saint, but he strives to be understanding and compassionate. And that’s damn hard work. It takes effort to be good, and to see the good in others, especially when you’re hurting.
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i've been having some thoughts
This is regarding the whole lack of feedback thing and the fic blackout. It's gonna be a bit lengthy so I'll put a read more stamp. I would prefer you don't reblog this as these are my personal thoughts, but feel free to comment or message me and tell me your thoughts.
So in the past couple of weeks I found myself reading my own writing more and more, and really enjoying it and feeling proud of what I've written. I do love writing, I really do, it's a hobby that I rediscovered about a year ago and I just can't let it go. It makes me happy and I am glad that I makes other people happy too. Something, somewhere went wrong along the way, though.
I also saw comments regarding the blackout that really made me reconsider a few things. That had me thinking about the topic of feedback that seems to blow up every few weeks. I started asking myself, why do I write? 
Do I write for the feedback? No, consciously, I never really did. Sure, it's amazing to see so many people enjoy what I post and I've made some awesome friends, who started out just as a random regular reader. And yeah, it makes me sad and it makes me question my writing when I see a story isn't doing very well. But I seem to have forgotten that the real reason why I started writing for this fandom almost a year ago, is because I love these characters. 
I wasn't very happy with the last two Avengers movies, I felt like I wanted to see my faves in better situations, I guess I wanted to get to know them better, because I've been disconnected from the Marvel fandom, after IW pissed me off so much. That's why I started writing fanfiction again.
Is feedback really that important to me? Yes, it is important, but somewhere along the way I started expecting it too much. I think I tend to put people up to my own standards too much and then get disappointed when they don't meet them and that's shitty of me.
See, I completely cut myself off from fanfiction for a few years, simply because my interests were different. When I got back into it last year, I didn't know how to navigate this part of the fandom that was completely foreign to me. Suddenly, self-inserts that were always generally frowned upon in my previous fandoms, became what I would see on my dash a lot, taglists were a thing, people reblogging stories and leaving lengthy comments? It was all so new to me.
And I guess as I navigated my way through all that, I trained myself to think that the best way to support a writer is to reblog and comment, and I still think that's true. But just because I trained myself to leave feedback in this way, doesn't mean everyone else is able to do that and it's unfair of me to expect the exact same thing of everyone else.
That being said, every time I see someone reblogged my work with anything ranging from a single emoji to lengthy comments, I truly truly appreciate them. And I guess what I could do is look at likes the same way as I look at reblogs. Just because I use the likes feature as a bookmark, doesn't mean others do as well. 
Will I participate in the June fanfiction blackout? Short answer: No. And here's why.
I don't see this blackout as an overreaction, or a punishment or a "hissy fit" as some have put it. I see it as a culmination of at least seven-eight months filled with drama and writers loosing motivation, because their work simply does not seem to have the interest of their readers as it once did. Some writers stopped posting their work, some have altogether left this site, and if that's what's best for them then so be it, but it's a shame it all came to that.
I've seen some people theorize, that after Endgame, a lot of people lost interest in the fandom, and that's fair. And now with the ongoing situation, everyone is stressed and has to navigate through a "new normal", that should not be normal. Some people turned to fics for an escape, while others are not able to read as much as they would like, because of how thier life is right now. I think both readers and writers need to remember this (and mostly I'm aiming this sentense to myself - just because I have more time to read, doesn't mean everyone else does).
That being said, I still support the writers who will participate in the blackout. If that's what they want to do and that's the thing that feels right to them, then I support them, because I understand how frustrating all of this is. 
Especially writers, who only see interaction in the form of requests to be added on a taglist or anon messages asking for updates, but then no actual feedback on those demanded updates. I understand how disheartening that is, which is why if others choose to take a break from posting, I think that's absolutely valid and we should listen to they side of the story, instead of turning our backs on them.
I don’t want anyone who reads this to think I’m targeting them, judging them, criticising them. It really is not my intention, this post is only about what I think I did wrong and what I think about all of this.
The reason why I’ve changed my mind and I've decided not to take part in the blackout is because I'm in the middle of three series, which I would like to continue writing and continue posting, despite my posting schedule being absolute chaos. I feel like I finally found a technique that helps me make steady progress that prevents me from extended periods of writer's block, and I would like to continue posting like I did. Also it looks like tfatws is going as planned and you guys know once I get in the Mood, I literally cannot shut up. It is what it is.
I also can't help but wonder what effect that blackout will have on our part of the fandom. If months of writers practically begging for feedback, taking breaks from writing due to lack of motivation and even leaving, some even creating special blogs to brind more spotlight to writers, if all that hasn't brought much of a change, then will this blackout really help? Or will it only make things worse? I don't know, there's literally no way of telling. The one thing I do know though, is that I've allowed this site to become too stressful for me, when it literally is supposed to be the opposite. And I'm done with that.
What does this mean for this blog? Not much will change. 
Like I said, I will continue posting whenever I feel a chapter is ready to be posted, be that once a week, once every other week, I don't know. Taglists are not coming back, because I simply don’t think they are necessary and tumblr is really annoying how sometimes tags don’t even work of show up in notifications.
On my part, I will try to be more humble and not let some silly little numbers get to my head. It's just not worth it. I will do my best to refrain from making and interacting with posts that might make readers feel guilty when they aren't able to reblog or comment. 
This blog is my only blog, and I don't plan on remaking any time soon. I will write as long as I'm inspired to do so, until a new hyper-fixation comes sometime in the future. Until then, I will do my best to remember how much my own work has made me smile, and how it made others smile and that's the goal here. 
I hope all of this makes sense. If you read the whole thing, well done and thank you for caring about what I have to say. I want this blog to be a happy place, both for those who follow it and myself as well. I know drama and frustration will always come back, for one reason or another, but the only thing I can do is pick my fights, as they say.
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