#Im disabled yeah but Im normal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crabs-nonsense · 7 months

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Something I love is my mom's romantic relationship. Like her partner and the ways they interact are both so wholesome and amazing. So you guys are gonna unlock some lore here.

Over two years ago my dad cheated on my mom and she said their relationship was over, because that was a rule she's always had for herself, once a cheater always a cheater. After that she started dating her current partner in a long distance relationship. They are an enby who lives in Norway and the two of them met on tiktok because they both cosplay the marauders era from Harry Potter.

In the two years they've been together my mother has gone and spent several months visiting them and meeting their family twice, once for summer and once for winter. Their family loves her and regularly invites her to things even though she can't attend. They video chat pretty much daily and text constantly. They've seen eachother at their highs and lows and been there through it all. An extremely funny fact is that my mom started learning Norwegian from a 6yr old with a very specific dialect and a speech impediment, because her partners son mostly speaks Norwegian with a bit of English.

Anyways the reason I was thinking about this is that yesterday I was in a voice chat with my bsd cosplay friends and my mom was across from me talking about the paperwork for getting citizenship through marriage with her partner. And I'd said she doesn't have to be engaged for a long time before getting married, which very much confused my friends and I had to explain. So it's been on my mind lol.

I love that they've talked about the steps needed for all of us the get citizenship, and how to get my sister and I onto disability there. And they even told my mom they might get a bigger house just so we can all still live together. They also send us Norwegian candy from time to time (sending things to the US is super expensive so it's not very often). They also send all her kids presents both randomly and for birthdays and Christmas. I have a crocheted pokemon plushie from them that I absolutely adore.

But yeah despite my mom being completely done with my dad he spent a year and a half trying to "win her back" but in like a really semi toxic roundabout way that all of us could see would never work except for him. And he only this year finally moved out of the house. Divorce papers FINALLY got filed and we all know he's going to drag it out and fight for full custody just to spite her. So because of that my mom and her partner are only dating, but mom has said the moment the divorce goes through she wants to take a small trip to Norway so we can all meet them in person and she wants to propose in person. Her partners son (again he's six) insists he's planning their wedding (they've never said anything about getting married to him), and he collects rocks and shells every time they go to the beach to use as center pieces for the tables.

Another thing is that with the safety of trans people quickly fading here they've also talked about how if things get bad enough that we are in danger here, we can all go to Norway. Like they told my mom if she suddenly said hey we're getting on a plane and will be there at x time, they will get their family together to get large enough transportation and housing for us (I have 4 siblings so there's 6 of us in all).

And and and!!! They are also disabled and have been since they were a kid. They don't have the same issues my sister and I do but they do have joint problems and chronic pain just like us so its been amazing to be getting first hand advice for a lot of things. They are so amazing i can't wait to meet them in person and give them a hug honestly.

#long post #story time #i love my moms significant other soooo much #sorry i just wanted to ramble about this but didnt want to bother anyone so its a tumblr post instead of a dm aha #to anyone whos heard me talk about the whole physical abuse trauma from my dad id like to clarify here that my mom didnt know about that #i didnt acknowledge really to myself that i had physical abuse trauma and that it wasnt all normal until last year #and he never did anything as extreme when she was around so she never saw it happen and i guess we all assumed she knew so never said much #but after they separated and she would talk about stuff with the oldest two kids (my brother and i) we mentioned something about it and #she was very upset about it and it is a huge part on why she wants full custody of the kids #anyways yeah #someday i will go to Norway and if im really really lucky i wont have to come back #the US government is not good and would rather i was dead so im very much not interested in staying here aha #being trans autistic and disabled was not a good call here but alas it was not my choice #sorry for the rant #crab says words #im completely normal :D

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235uranium · 5 months

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every time i see the "kids and teens should actually get to interact with decent adults" post i just feel unimaginably depressed because people are talking about how these adults helped them at their worst points. meanwhile the ones i knew convinced me my ocd was my actual thoughts and continually exposed me to horrific things and gaslit me constantly

#☢️.txt #i also find it so fucking annoying when people on this site act like the reaction to this stuff came out of nowhere #a lot of the 'adults shouldnt talk to minors' stuff is coming directly from adults who got groomed and minors who recently escaped from #abusive/creepy adults. and yet people just wanna talk about how thats not the norm #and like yeah its not but maybe just maybe you can actually sit with how some of us did not get to have yr postive experience #of intergenerational friendship. and instead left with even more trauma #esp bc MANY of us talking about this are queer disabled people who got stuck in these situations #bc our irl situations were horrific and we had no one to turn to #i dont think its intentional but it gives me the same vibes as when you talk about how yr parents abused you #and ppl with 'normal' childhoods just go wow that sounds awful im so glad that didnt happen to me #or when they try to point out that abuse isnt normal and end up just sounding like theyre bragging

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timeisacephalopod · 1 year

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I absolutely hate when people accuse me of like writing myself into story (similar to Mary sue claims) because something I wrote about or a subject or some other aspect I chose is similar to or (according to my accusers) ripped straight from my life. Like the saying is "write what you know" for one, for two a "friend" I had acting like giving a character a job I had was some sort of self insert shit is dumb when every job I've ever had is somewhat unusual and a conversation starter in real life so- shocker- sticking it into a story makes a good story.

Writers having experience with something or a similar life experience to their characters doesn't mean we're writing about ourselves. I had a therapist mistake a robot story about a dad who's kid dies getting turned into a robot despite her father's distinctly anti robot politics as a reverse of my dad dying as a kid. It was actually meant as an exploration of the ownership father's feel over their daughters and the way death makes us insanely selfish to the point of ignoring any and all potential wishes for the person we lost. Bringing people back from the dead for nothing but your own self soothing is selfish and cruel, but no because my dad died as a kid this was a Trauma Reversal of that situation and like no lol. The character may have been similar to my father (who was wildly abusive but extremely charismatic, but those traits describe everyone from sports players to fuckin Ronnie Regan so it's Not That Deep) but that does not mean that is who I was writing about. He was not I was just fuckin writing a story with themes that, frankly, were more reflective of my relationship to feminism than my relationship to my father.

Anyway if you think a writer had ripped their own story off consider: maybe you're the one who is projecting because like even if that was true zero people bag on (white) men who do this, I know this because a teacher I had in film school straight up said that show he wrote about inter office law politics was about his life as a lawyer and immediately I was like "if I ever said that about something I wrote whatever story that was would be mocked to death" and I'm sure I'm not the only one in a minority group that feels that way. I can't even write Super Basic Kinda Connected to my life shit without being accused of writing about myself let alone a full blown show I'm happy to say was Me Inspired.

#winters ramblings #this accusation drives me NUTS because the implications are always clear. if i wrote it about me its cheap and bad and not worth writing #so thanks for implying THAT sarah when all i did was give a character a job i had because WORKING IN A MOVIE THEATER IS INTERESTING #and the character was a teenager i think MOST teens would WANT a job thats as kinda cool as a theater that was owned by another character #and it was a nepotism hire too so yeah sarah im sure thats SO MUCH like how i got hired at a CHAIN THEATER #like Jesus Christ the connection was BARELY surface and im accused of sriting about myself #like you know what maybe i am and maybe im fucking interesting would that be some fucking crime??#like seriously if this was 100% what i was doing WHAT would the problem be? because LOTS of men do this #but we'd only ever bitch if that man threw in an importance to his blackness or disability or maybe a Special Relationship #otherwise men writing about themselves in story is so normal they just admit it off the cuff. because its not a fuckin crime OR 'bad'#its rarely if ever what im actually doing but if i was i dont know why that would need to be piinted out to me like an accusation #what are you accusing me of and is it YOUR problem or is a problem of my story because my story can be ripped 100%#from my life word for word moment by moment and that wouldnt make the story bad so what the fuck are you accusing me of??

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boomerang109 · 1 year

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#hey I am a chronically in pain person who pushes themself too far and then gets mad they have to skip things #but I *think* i don’t actually miss my job/school very much considering how unwell I am #so I would love to know how often other people are unwell #also if you only miss stuff every so often but are sick much more often (IN A NON DANGEROUS WAY PLEASE DONT SHARE IF YOURE INFECTINF PEOPLE)#I’d love if you’d reblog and share that!#but yeah the majority of my friends are either confirmed chronically ill/disabled or im like ‘x-thing about you isn’t normal’ so I feel like #my view of attendance to school and whatever is NOT normal #but then my job doesn’t expect us to miss ANYTHINF and it’s weird af #life of a boomerang

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allhappyandgay · 9 months

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i didn’t like barbie oop

#i know better than to think i actually DISLIKE a movie simply because it didn’t connect w me or feel like it could apply to me tho #so instead I didn’t ENJOY watching the movie #if that’s any better #idk I thought it was rlly annoying at parts #but I get Im just not the target audience #I thought it would be funnier and better in general cuz of the hype #but honestly—and I hate to say this it makes me feel old—I didn’t rlly get it #like I get the message they couldn’t make that more clear with the amount of times they said patriarchy men women etc #but as a trans man I felt like it made huge generalizations every other line #but I understand that it’s somebody else’s experience of oppression #cuz everything’s happening cuz of what the mom is going through and how she’s being affected by it #but jesus #I was trying not to feel offended or cringe lmao reminding myself that I am a man who happened to not be socialized female growing up #and I prob just don’t understand the depth of the specific feelings they brought up #but yeah it did make me feel p dysphoric and uncomfortable the whole time cuz I just felt like it was putting men and women into boxes and #as always acting as if they experience all of the same experiences because of their gender #which they do not #also thought it was weird that stereotypical barbie and ken were the main barbie’s seems contradictory to the message #got yr one disabled barbie one fat barbie one trans barbie and the rest can be normal but the main ones gotta be white #like I almost feel bad saying it cuz of the whole male gaze issue the movie brings up but I only rlly liked the ken parts lol they were #actually funny n the rest was eh #idk movies like that they try to get that message across but still lack somehow #they still allowed barbie to cry and have the audience sympathize with her and give her sad music to cover it #but any time a man cries it’s as per usual a dramatic humorous exaggerated thing yr supposed to laugh at and not a lot of ppl notice it #also felt like any characters that were supposed to represent me were brushed aside like how queer ppl are irl #the daughter was fucking annoying I hope she died #greta gerwig rlly said yeah she can say “reality challenged” without even an IMPLIED disapproval. when she said YOU FASCIST I held my face #in my hands oh god #they’re like we don’t have genitals aka that’s not what defines sex or gender *ends the movie with going to a gynecologist*#anyway love that karim from the OA was in it talk about range jfc

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thebewilderer · 1 year

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petition for people to stop talking to me about their self-diagnosing with random shit based on stereotypes and the pathologization of normal behaviors that's being spread around on ticktocks as if I'll care or support them in any way whatsoever

#this FUCKING girl at work who equates ''forgetting to autism mask'' with ''resting bitch face''#''oh you know the autistic thing with spoons'' i hate to break this to you casey but youre the single most annoying person #she saw i have blue hair and pronoun and immediately assumed id be supportive of the pathologizing of normal behavior #at least thats my theory #''lol im so adhd; i always forget theres a pizza in the oven''#wow thats so cutesy and nonharmful i wonder how people who actually have adhd and SUFFER would feel about you making fun of them like that #the answer is angry btw im angry #im just dealing with her bullshit for now but if she starts up using ocd as an adjective im putting my fucking foot down #make fun of disabled people on your own time in private mkay #ugh the more i think about it the more frustrated i get #imagine going up to someone in a cast and going ''LOL yeah i have arm problems too haha them broken boney probs amiright''#like i will beat you with a fucking stick #ih #pers #self diagnosis #uhhhh #ableism #oh yeah almost forgot this tag #me being problematic probably

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natandacat · 1 year

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I am literally the patient with the worst physical health in the gvt long covid program and it feels like shit 💀

#at least they think i have a shot at getting disability programs #well. i guess i have to accept that i need this #its been a full year.#time to be disabled officially so i can get stuff ig #i hate this sm #i wanted to wait until i get my citizenship but it might not be reasonable anymore 💀#medical #just bitching #but yeah anyway im still in the pem and this one is shaking me #i havent had one that was bad to the point of not being able to speak normally in a while #ive had cataplexy adjacent episodes but these are not the same #pems are scary cause they dont have a treatment #also the episodes last a few hours then go away #this pem is gonna take a few days at least #but hey i can speak now although i need to be careful not to have too long conversations #cause damn did u know talking takes a lot of muscle? cause i know

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astxrwar · 1 year

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the ableism of that one episode of gravity falls makes me :|

#paper jam dipper clone. in the printer episode. he dies and its like ‘its better this way for paper jam dipper’#and :| alex hirsch please. why.#ik it was 2012 and that’s why. but still. like #idk giving very bad vibes #i love the show ik most shows have big ableism issues #shoutout to that one episode of adventure time for actually handling disability normally #‘some people are built different #we don’t have to figure it out we just have to respect it’#yeah.good message #’death is better for disabilities deemed ‘severe’ enough’ bad message. bad bad bad message.#EDIT i found out he said he wouldn’t have done it today. and yk im ok with that #ppl change i was not ever nor will i ever be perfect. and i respect him for being like ‘yeah my bad’#alex hirsch W

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steampoweredskeleton · 9 months

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I went out to a work event for a retirement and had a fucking lovely time and I'm really glad I went and also super proud of myself. I was in a boat, and I tried three new food things, and I made conversation and found ways to info dump about things without being rude. I did really well and I'm really happy

#delete later #im also exhausted and already know tomorrow is gonna be rough autism wise #and the weekend is going to be pretty painful. but worth it #sometimes you weigh up the enjoyment of the event against the disability impact of the event and you accept that bad times will come #sure ill inevitably be a whiny piece of shit on saturday when the ache really sets in (always a couple days after) but its fine #OH YEAH i also was gendered correctly the entire time. including when we sat down in boy girl boy girl pattern(idk man)#and i was super worried theyd be weird about it but nope. was sat as a man. this job treats it so normally. its legit like nbd #and that is so refreshing and makes me so fucking happy and confident

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sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep · 1 year

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I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON HOW AMERICAN SOCIETY HANDLES MENTAL DISABILITY AND I HAVE DECIDED TO talk about it to myself on my blog at moderate volume

THOUGHT NUMBER 1!!

OK so i’m pretty sure anyone who’s thought about it knows that the medical community (and other industries connected to it, like the insurance dudes), don’t consider brain-malfunction conditions to be on the same tier as other forms of healthcare, and give less priority to funding those departments, which means even if you HAVE got a bunch of medical professionals in those disciplines who DO take that ish seriously, they’ve got immediate barriers between them and the folks needing their services. which sucks.

that one i don’t have an immediate fix for, cuz i don’t think there IS an immediate fix, especially with how many more people are needing mental health treatments/evaluations these days. but you know what COULD have a nice big drastic impact on how people as a whole see mental health AND ALSO how large of a burden untreated mental health problems put on american society??

MAKE. ANNUAL. MENTAL HEALTH. EVALUATIONS. A. NORMAL. THING!!

like what parents are supposed to do with their kids and dr appointments is at least once a year, hop in the car or on the bus, and take their kid to get a physical! thats a totally normal thing people do, the idea being “even if there wasn’t anything obviously wrong before the appointment, its just a good way to keep an eye on our children’s health and catch problems sooner if a serious one does turn up!

well folks, that idea of monitoring one’s health preventing a lot of problems from becoming problems in the first place would also work with any and all forms of neurodivergency!! like how many people who struggle with a brain illness struggle mostly due to the fact that they weren’t prepared for it!? i’m totally projecting here btw, cuz guess what happened to me even though i WAS tested as a kid!! this exact issue right here!

obviously, a lot of mental illnesses specifically can’t be counted on to show up when you're still in childhood, where once a problem is revealed its the adults around you who are supposed to take care of you and make sure you’re getting what you need. BUT!!! but but but but BUT

if you DID come down with a condition as an adult, but you’d already been somewhat familiarized with what symptoms WERE IN FACT symptoms, and common treatments/solutions for said symptoms, due to having regular psychiatric checkups with a dr throughout childhood?

well, odds seems pretty good that you’d be much better prepared for that condition if/when it did come along, and it would probably take less time to notice it too!

say nothing of the fact that this would do a lot to de-stigmatize mental health, cuz if u arrange ur healthcare system so it is No Longer Assuming That Neurotypicality Is The Norm, then EVERYONE’S got that knowledge too, and even for the people who haven’t got a form of neurodivergence and never will - them having a similar stockpile of background knowledge and awareness of mental health as those who do have a condition will do a ton to remove the obstacles in the way of effective society-wide treatment of brain illnesses (both on the stigma side of things, and on the practical symptom-treating side)

THOUGHT NUMBER 2!!

so this party-popper of thought was specifically inspired by a post i saw but can’t find (NVM I FOUND IT :D) that listed neurotypical traits in a similar manner as autistic traits tend to be talked about - i chuckled at it and then went like hey, what if tho, what if that could actually have some practical applications?

specifically, what if that exact premise was used as a the foundation of a unit in health classes in public schools?

like i know that even if you get a health curriculum and teacher that does a fairly good job of talking about what they’re required/allowed to talk about, there just isn’t enough time given to go into detail about a lot of important shit, and in the classes i got at least, neurodivergency vs. neurotypical-ness was one of the things not discussed (most of the ones i got focused on healthy relationships, which they did a good-but-not-great job on)

but if you had even just a couple lectures where the teachers first explain what each one is, give a few examples of neurodivergent conditions, and then follow it up with a talk outlining the neurotypical traits and explaining why/how they’re neurotypical traits?? it could definitely have a similar effect as the theoretical benefits to Thought #1

it would potentially re-frame the lack-of-condition that is being neurotypical - like i feel like the way people see it as ‘normal’ and while i get how that’s the impression people end up with, i think that’s a bad way to try and categorize the different ways the human brain functions - cuz what does normal even mean??? it doesn’t really describe anything except that ‘this person doesn’t seem to have anything going on with their behavior, they must be normal’ which. uh. hi there high-functioning folks, how y’all doing on this fine fall afternoon?

like if i’d been made aware that a lot of the stuff i did that i knew was what made me ‘weird’ were actually full-on SYMPTOMS that i actually shared with a ton of other people!? lemme tell you, it would’ve made a BIG difference in how much i measured the scope my problems based on ‘i’m weird though, so this is to be expected’

Even (or maybe especially) though i didn’t actually know anybody personally with the same conditions, because hey! i didn’t know many people personally who also had asthma, but i never developed any hangups around how that affected my physical needs. why would I??! i’d already met a bunch of doctors about it, gotten an inhalor for it, and knew it was a Condition and that i was far from the only kid who had it. there wasn’t any empty space in my knowledge that i was left to fill with my own assumptions, that if i was so perpetually inadequate it must just be a trait i had and there wasn’t any point in trying to logic my way out of that burden

it doesn’t seem like it would be particularly difficult to close that knowledge gap when it comes to how people look at mental illness and neurodivergency, even just by explaining what’s really going into being allistic, neurotypical, or ‘normal’ would go a long way towards dispelling the idea that people have absolute control over their brains and behavior, as well as just being a great way to get folks with undiagnosed going-ons in their grey matter to shake off any assumptions they’ve made about how they should look at themselves for not being normal

ok yeah, having lectures where u explain how a person is neurotypical the same way you’d explain how someone is neurodivergent won’t help people with brain conditions know which one they’ve got or what to do about it - but i feel like the greater gain here is disrupting the idea that being neurotypical or ‘normal’ is something that awards merit or pride.

no one who’s not-neurodivergent got that way because of something they personally achieved or did. it wasn’t a reward they received from the universe for being a Certified Good Boi, they got lucky! they didn’t do anything to personally earn a brain that functions and on the flip side of that, starting out with a brain that functions isn’t actually some form of magical protection from losing that functionality if ur good luck runs out - a lot of forms of neurodivergence aren’t ones you’re born with after all.

and even the ones that ARE, same logic applies!! autism, adhd, and other conditions aren’t metaphorical coal in ur stocking for being naughty, they just are. nobody gets a say in what stats they have at birth!! (honestly the control we have even under our own agency and mobility isn’t that influential on our circumstances a lot of the time)

basically i feel like u want to start regularly introducing the idea that the perception of ‘normal’ is coming out of very measurable things in people’s brains. A perception which really just seems like another lazy way of assuming that those who have a functioning brain won’t ever have to worry about losing that, like it’s an inherent trait to you as a person or something - newflash! it ain’t. your mind, personality, and behavior are not magical airy-fairy things detached from measurable factors, their roots are all held within your brain, and your brain is an organ which can get sick or damaged. Not only that, but since its a very complex organ to boot, it doesn’t take a very big change to cause big differences in functionality!!

like yeah in theory it would be great if you could explain the difficulties people with disabilities face to those with no personal stake in that, and have them have sufficient empathy to consider that as something that matters. And although I’m sure there ARE folks out there capable of that, there’s also a lot of folks out there who will let you down BIG TIME on that front, so i think another tactic to use when trying to combat ableism would be to start requiring curriculums that gives all the folks across the board a nice big sip of

#ableism is stupid in this essay i will proceed to #mental health #neurodivergency #us healthcare #altho im sure there are similar problems even in places that have universal healthcare too #honestly bi-annual mental health evals would be best #but annual ones would still be an improvement!#i guess the overall point of both of my points be that #society could eliminate a lot of its big problems rn #if it started practicing self-awareness and let go of the idea that one is supposed to be born normal #and if once u are u don't need to look into it any further #yeah it would be nice to be able to achieve a certain level of then-constant good health #like if u level up enough u never have to worry about losing the good luck u started with #but thats not realistic - even if ur born totally healthy and normal in brain and body #odds are you'll age into being disabled if u live long enough #so hope for the best but be fucking prepared for the worst methinks #oh yeah and nanny mcphee is here cuz i like her

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