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#IM NOT OKKAAAYYY
afflatusssss · 2 years
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This bond between us, can't be broken. I will be here, don't you cry. 'Cause you'll be in my heart. Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more.
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toddstool · 1 year
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okay okkaaayyy okay im gonna go to bed rn and im gonna wake up early and have like 3 cups of cauwfee and it'll be fine. im gonna work on my research and my calendar and then ill go finish those stupid chairs that ive been putting off
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uhhhitsgray · 2 years
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Desire Chapter Ⅱ
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Trigger warnings for this chapter: self deprecation, mentions of mental abuse, anxiety attack, and implications of self harm.
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↳ Table of Contents ↳ Chapter Ⅲ: I'm dreaming, right?
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Chapter Ⅱ: Emotional Rollercoaster
It’s been a few days since your lunch with your friend, and you wish you could go back to that day or even last week as you’re up to your eyeballs in work for this website redesign. You just finished a meeting with your team, talking about deadlines and how to improve the site which only added to your stress levels. 
You leave your teams meeting, running a hand through your hair, “Fuck me.” You sigh, grabbing a stick of gum from the pack in your desk drawer, and turning your spotify playlist back on to help calm your nerves that were washing over you.
You take a deep breath, and start working again allowing your mind to go into a numb state so you could fully concentrate on your tasks at hand. 
Your work is interrupted when you hear your discord going off in your headset. You give a quick glance over to your screen on your right thinking it was Armin, but had to look again as it wasn’t Armin’s profile picture that you saw. It was Eren’s. 
You move your mouse over to the other screen, opening his message. 
Eren: hey, how’s it going today? 
You go to start typing, but you see his name popup on the bottom of the message again so you wait. Your fingers air typing over the keyboard waiting for him to send the message. 
Eren: you busy tonight? Was just curious if you wanted to chat in discord for a bit?  
Just us? No Armin? 
Jesus, chill out. 
Maybe he just wants someone to talk to, you aren’t that special to him. 
Calm the fuck down. 
You: yeah, i’ll be free tonight. What time you thinking? 
Eren: how does 8 sound? By the time im done with work, getting home, food - ya know all the normal shit, that’d be the easiest time for me. 
You: thank you for your evening schedule, ill be sure to keep that in mind LOL 
You: that sounds good to meeee, don’t be late. 
Eren: as if you have any room to talk miss im late to meet a new person
You: HEY THAT WAS ONE TIME okkaaayyy. 
Eren: imma hold you to it, that you won’t be late, don’t disappoint me
Eren: ill see you at 8 
Don't disappoint me? 
Sir, I am a walking disappointment for the most part.
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Rest of the workday goes smoothly, though the thought of just you and Eren chatting tonight keeps rolling around in your brain. It’s not like it was that big of a deal, just the two of you hanging out, you just figured he would still want Armin to be there considering Armin knew him first and Eren didn’t know you that well. 
Around 6PM you decide you are done for the day, you let out a relieved sigh standing from your desk, “Oh man, I’m beat.” You stretch before leaving your office, standing in the hallway looking into your bedroom then back to your kitchen. 
Dinner first, or shower first? 
Uhmm.. 
Shower first so if need be I can eat while Eren and I chat?
Yeah, let's do that. 
So you do just that. After finishing your shower you're walking into the kitchen and start your dinner, making sure you give Beanie her evening meal as well. Your nerves are a little more on edge this evening as you see the time is getting closer to eight, and you really just weren’t sure why. 
You ended up chalking it up to the fact that he’s still a new person to you, and you just hadn’t gotten to that level of comfort with him that you felt with your other friends. And also maybe the fact that he didn’t say what he wanted to talk about either, could just be chats but your mind is racing at the thought of it being something else. 
Girl.
You’re being crazy. 
Why would he have anything bad to talk about? It’s not like you’ve known him long enough for anything bad to even have happened.  
“Well here goes nothing.” You say nervously as you set your food down at your desk, turning your pc on. 
You make sure to put on lo-fi beats to keep your nerves chilled, but didn’t want to put any actual songs on as you knew you’d probably end up singing them at random and you didn’t want your new friend to think you were crazy.  
You open your discord and see no one is in your voice channel yet, though you are a few minutes early, you let out a small sigh, “Thank god.” As you click the channel to join not even a second later you’re hearing the ding telling you someone joined. 
“Eren!” You say with small amounts of excitement laced in your tone. 
“Hey (y/n), how you doing?” His tone sounds like there’s excitement there but also a bit of tiredness laced into it. 
“Oh, just a little tired from working today. It kind of kicked my ass honestly.” You let out a small laugh. “How are you doing, though? You sound tired.” 
It sounds like he’s stretching, letting out a small groan, “Yeah, I’m always tired though so that’s nothing new for me. But other than that I’m okay. What happened at work?” 
Trust me, I get being tired all the time. 
“We took on a pretty big project recently, and it’s just a lot. I think it’s a bit more than everyone on the team thought it would be so it was just stressing me out today honestly. But it’s alright.” You shove a fork full of food in your mouth. 
“Are you always eating when you’re in discord?” Eren lets out a small laugh. 
“Well,” You swallow your food, “To meet your schedule I didn’t have time to eat beforehand and I didn’t want to disappoint you.” You let out a small breathy laugh. 
“So you’re a people pleaser than?” 
Your eyes widen at his statement. “I guess so, but only for the right people, ya know?” Looking down at your desk, smiling. 
Dude. 
Do you hear yourself? 
For the right people - you just fucking met him.  
Eren gives you a small laugh, “So I fall under the right people, huh?” A teasing tone leaves his mouth. 
“Least right now you do.” You tease back, a smirk on your face. “But who knows that could change, you could end up being an awful person for all I know.” You laugh. 
He laughs back, “I’ll make sure to stay being the right person for you.” 
Right person for ME. 
Little ol’ boring me? 
That’s not what he meant right? 
Surely not.. 
You giggle, “I’ll hold you to that Eren.” You put some more food in your mouth, continuing, “So, tell me a little about yourself.” 
“You waste no time huh?” 
“Unless you had something else to talk about?” Nervousness washing over your tone. 
“Nah, nah. Really just wanted to talk to you tonight is all.” You can hear him smile through the mic. 
You let out a loud sigh, giggling, “Okay good, because I was honestly a bit nervous when you asked if we could chat tonight.” 
You hear him messing with something near him, “Why? You thought I had something bad to say? We just met.” He laughs, as you roll your eyes to yourself knowing he was right but annoyed with yourself. Always wanting to overthink things. 
You shrug to yourself, as if he was there with you, “Just overthink things a lot, plus you never know sometimes.” A sad laugh makes its way out of your mouth, your mind flashing back instances with you and Charley… 
NOPE. 
Fucking stop thinking about that asshole. 
You’re literally talking to someone who has given you no reason to overthink at all, and yet here you are. 
You change the subject quickly, not wanting to let your mind wander anymore. “So, have you always lived in Washington?” 
“Not always. I moved here about two years ago to move in with my older brother. Been saving up to get my own place, but it’s nice that he’s been letting me stay here for this long. Moving in with him was a little..” He trails off, “Unexpected, honestly.” 
You raise an eyebrow, “Oh?” 
“Yeah, it’s fine though. Our work schedules are pretty much opposite of each other so I don’t see him that often which is fine cause we don’t always see eye to eye.” He lets out a small laugh. 
You smile to yourself, “Do any siblings get along though, like come on?” 
“True, but Zeke and I were never close until I moved in. So that’s probably made it worse honestly.” He laughs, “You have any siblings?”
You smile thinking about your brother Colt, “Yeah I do, younger though. Just by a few years.”
“Hm, I’m sure you actually get along with him though?” He laughs. 
“For the most part. Normal sibling bullshit.” You smile, “How you liking Washington though? Armin tells me it rains all the stinkin time.” You laugh. 
Eren lets out an exaggerated groan, “Yeah he’s not wrong about that at all. It’s good though, I like the area, people here are pretty nice and chill too. Plus working with Armin is nice,” He pauses, “Was a little worried about meeting people at the job, not much of a people person sometimes.” 
You laugh, “Trust me, I feel that. But some people are worth it I’ve learned.”
You two continue talking late into the night enjoying each other's company. Eren shared more about his life before moving, how his dad was a doctor and it caused him and his family to have to move a lot when he was younger. He briefly mentioned a girl named Mikasa, who he said his family took in when he was child and how they grew up together. He talked about how Zeke was never really around until about three or four years ago, but until he moved in with him, they weren’t close at all. Eren said he was lucky if he saw Zeke once a year - if that. 
You just listened to what he wanted to share, not prying too much into his past and just taking the bits that he was willing to open up and share. Your heart feels a little warm and fuzzy that he wanted to share so much of his past with you despite you two barely knowing each other. 
“Fuck, I didn’t even see how late it was.” He sighs, almost seeming annoyed that we couldn’t talk longer. “Yeah, I know. I was having a good time so I just kind of lost track of time honestly.” You giggle. 
There’s a slight pause in conversation before Eren starts, “So, uhm. Tomorrow night?” He sounds almost nervous. 
“What about tomorrow night?” You tease him. 
“Well, you wanna do this again tomorrow night? If not that’s fine I get it.” His voice lowering as he speaks. 
Why does he almost sound nervous asking me this? 
It’s kind of..
Cute… 
Nah, you didn’t just call someone you just met cute. 
Get it together.
You give him a little laugh, “Yeah, we can do this tomorrow Eren. I’d like that. Same time?”
“If that works for you, then sure.” 
You smile, “Of course it does, I’ll be here.” 
You two say your goodnights, turning your pc off and heading to your bedroom. You get into your bed, covers pulled over your head as you scroll through twitter for a few minutes before bed. 
Should I tell him thank you for opening up with me?
That’s weird right? 
You sound fucking weird.. 
Let’s not scare him away. 
You plug your phone in and go to bed before you start acting out on your thoughts.
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The following morning goes pretty smoothly, after the stressful meeting yesterday you finally had a clear head and was able to work with no issues. Your mind was wandering a little bit as you found Eren messaging you throughout the day, asking how you were and how your day was good. Talking about your favorite bands, and favorite genres of music. 
Your heart being filled with so much joy as you talked to him, you don’t even remember the last time you’ve felt this way. It was almost a scary feeling, such an unknown feeling to you. Maybe not unknown, but it had been awhile since someone else made you feel that way.  
You shake your head to yourself, letting out an annoyed sigh. 
 He’s just a friend. 
Stop acting like this is anything more to you, or him. 
Unless.. 
Nah, shut up. 
The joy left your heart as your mind flashes the words that Charley spoke to you before. 
“You are nothing to everyone in your life. You’re worthless.” The words are still stinging you two years later. 
“Fuck.” You’re wiping your tears from your eyes, sniffling. 
Your eyes glaze over as your mind starts self-sabotaging itself, tears rolling down your cheeks as you aimlessly stare at your computer screen. 
“You don’t even mean anything to me, bitch.”    
It’s becoming hard to breathe, though you're gasping for air there isn’t enough air in the world right now to fill your lungs. You blink hard trying to bring yourself to the present. 
“He’s not here. He’s not here..” You curl your fingers into your palm pushing your nails into your skin to distract yourself. 
You’re frantically trying to get air to fill your lungs, pushing your nails harder into your palm. 
“Breathe..” You inhale, slowly breathing out, “Breathe.. Fuck come on.” You breathe in through your nose and slowly push the air out of your mouth. 
“He’s not here.. It’s fine, just breathe.” You continue to breathe in through your nose, and out your mouth, the pressure you’ve added to your palm releases as you start to feel control coming back. 
Your body starts shaking, you’re sobbing at this point. 
“Fucking fuck!” You scream out, your face is soaked with tears as you grab your shirt squeezing it in your hands. You cross your arms on your desk, leaning down and resting your forehead on your arms and you let yourself just cry.
“God, fuck you. Piece of shit is still lingering around two years later, what a joke.” You let out an annoyed laugh. 
You run your fingers through your hair, standing up from your desk grabbing your phone and head out the balcony of your apartment. 
The cool air brushing against your warm cheeks provides some sort of calming effect to your body. You unlock your phone and text Hitch, not able to keep this to yourself.
You: ssssooooooooooo 
You: i may or may not have an anxiety attack about charley again..
You lock your phone, setting it down on the patio table taking a seat breathing in the fresh air. A few moments pass and you hear your phone chime. Turning the screen on, you see that you have a message from Eren, you don’t even bother reading it, swiping at your screen to remove the notification. You’d check it eventually but now was not the time that you wanted to check it. 
You set your phone back down, pushing your body further into the chair, the back of your head resting on the top of the chair, closing your eyes allowing for yourself to relax. 
Your phone starts ringing as you lazily open your eyes, putting the phone to your head, “Hello?” 
“Babes! Sorry for the late response, I was in an important meeting. Are you okay? What happened?” Hitch’s voice is laced with concern. It had been a long time since you’ve had your last anxiety attack, let alone it being brought on because of him.   
You breathe in, “It’s okay, sorry to kind of just dump it on you out of nowhere. I was just working, and my mind just started wandering and before I knew it, it was happening.” You sniffle, “I thought I was past this Hitch.” Silent tears roll down your cheeks. 
“Well first off, please don’t feel bad that you said anything. I’m sorry that I wasn’t calling you sooner.” She pauses, you can hear her ruffling through some papers, “And I know, but sometimes in the healing process this type of stuff can happen. Just randomly came on?” Hitch might not know you better than Armin, but she knew you better than most. She knew it didn’t just happen randomly, but she didn’t want to just straight up ask you what happened. 
She continues before you can answer, “You’re okay right? Nothing else happened?” Her tone sounded sad. You knew what she was talking about, but you had gotten a lot better with controlling those urges. 
“Yeah, I’m fine. Nothing else happened, I promise. But I don’t know Hitch,”  You take a deep breath, “Eren and I were just chatting and it just happened. Just hurting myself mentally at this point, I don’t know why I can’t just be happy and let that shit go. It’s so annoying.” You sniffle. 
“I’m glad you’re fine. But I know it can be hard, I’m sorry it hasn’t been easier for you. I really am. I’d give you a hug if I could.” She completely ignores the Eren comment, but you figured she’d ask you at a later time. 
You smile to yourself, “I could use a hug.” You let out a small laugh. 
“Well babes, I do have to get going before my boss yells at me. Let me know if you need anything else, or if anything else happens. I love you, you know that right?” 
“Yeah I know, I love you too Hitch. Get back to the grind, thank you. I really mean that.” You two say your goodbyes as you head back into your apartment.
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The rest of the day goes relatively smoothly. When stuff like this happens, sometimes it’s just better that you ignore any lingering questions in your mind and just work on something. Music way too loud in your head phones as you keep working on your website project for work. 
You shift your eyes to your right screen seeing that you have yet to answer Eren from earlier this morning. You decide not to read it, and you’ll just chalk it up to a busy day and just talk to him later this evening. You thought you’d be okay to read the message but you also didn’t think anything was going to happen earlier and well.. Something surely did happen. 
We won’t be telling Eren this
Nope 
Absolutely not 
While you were feeling better from earlier, it did leave a bit of a damper on your mood. You’re just hoping you’d be back to normal before eight so he didn’t have to question you.
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You kept working until a few minutes before eight, you didn’t want to give your mind the option to think about Charley again or any of the hurtful things that he said to you. Your wishes for your mood to change before eight were indeed not granted, you felt better but just had an overall weird feeling lingeringly over your whole body. 
You join the discord right at eight, Eren already there. “Hey (y/n).” His tone sounded happy. 
“Hey Eren. Whatta up to?” You save your work for the day, closing out of your programs. 
“I’m pulling a you, and eating dinner.” He laughs, “You're not eating?” 
“Nah, I just finished working for the day actually. So I haven’t eaten yet.” You rub your tired eyes. 
“Oh,” His tone changes. “You didn’t have to get on if you had to work that late, I’m sure you’re hungry.” 
“It’s fine actually, today was kind of rough so I just kept working to keep myself busy.” Your eyes watering again. 
Get it fucking together. 
He doesn’t need to hear you cry. 
“You want to talk about it?” He sounds genuinely concerned. 
Do we want to tell him about everything? 
Excluding the part about him making your heart feel full of joy.. 
He doesn’t need to know that part.. 
“Uhm,” You pause, fighting yourself if you want to share or not. 
“If not, that's fine. I totally understand, I just know talking to someone does help sometimes.”
A sad smile is on your face, “Yeah I know, I appreciate it. It’s just a lot.” 
“I get it, still fresh type of thing?” 
You look down, “If two years ago is still fresh, then sure.” You let out a small laugh. 
“If it makes you feel any better, some shit happened to me almost three years ago and it still hurts like it happened yesterday. It took me a while to even want to talk to Zeke about it, let alone other people so I get it. No pressure, but if you ever want to talk about it, or anything, I’m here to listen.”
You smile to yourself, “I appreciate it Eren, I really do. Same goes for you.” 
Fuck why is he being so nice to me? 
Oh I don’t fucking know. 
Probably because people can actually be nice and not have an ulterior motive.    
After that Eren didn’t bring your day up to you at all for the rest of the evening. It was nice that he didn't try to pressure you into talking about it. You just wanted to forget about earlier. 
He tried to cheer you up the best that he could, and it was working. He was sweet, making you laugh and saying goofy things to make you smile. Your attitude was making a complete 180 from when you first started chatting. 
He started telling you more about himself, telling you that he had long hair that he had been growing out for a few years now. 
“You aren’t one of those guys who looks weird with long hair right?” You snort.   
“Wha-” He bursts out laughing, “I mean, I don’t think I do. I like it.” 
You laugh, “I see. Well at least you like it.” “You’ve never even seen me, I could look great for all you know.” 
You smile to yourself, twirling a piece of hair around your finger, “Well, that’s true. Didn’t picture you in my head to have long hair I will say.” 
He laughs, “I’m sure I look nothing like what you think I do.” 
“Hm, better or worse?” You tease. 
“Depends on what you like.” He teases back. 
Are we.. 
Flirting?
“Imma start guessing what you look like, and I want just a yes or no.” You laugh, “It’ll be a little game.” 
He laughs, “Okay, shoot.” 
“Brown eyes.” You definitely pictured him with brown eyes. 
“No.” 
“Oh,” You laugh, “Blonde hair?” You question. 
He snorts, “No again. So this is how you see me huh?” 
“Well not now obviously.” You pout. 
“Are you.. Are you pouting cause you were wrong?” 
“Nope, I never pout.” You lie, and Eren bursts out laughing again. 
“I’m not guessing anymore.” You laugh. 
“What. Princess didn’t get her way so she’s just done playing the game?” He laughs. 
Come again. 
Princess? 
Uhm, I think I’ve forgotten how to breathe. 
He didn’t mean anything by that, right?
Right? 
Your breath catches in your throat, too stunned to speak. You blink a few times, trying to form a sentence. “Yup, it’s my way or the highway.” You joke. 
“I’ll keep that in mind. So, do you want to actually see what I look like?” He seems eager to share so you entertain him. 
“Sure, why not. Since my mind thinks of you completely differently.” You tease. 
“One sec, lemme find a good picture.” You laugh, “Okay.” 
“It’s coming your way.” He says, and in a few seconds you hear your discord going off. You move your mouse over to your messages. 
“Oh.” Your mouth hangs open in disbelief over the picture he sent you. 
Yeah.. 
He looks nothing like what I thought he did..
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A/N: ooohhh man, i really like how this chapter turned out if im being honest. i hope yall like it too. thank you for reading and interacting with it, it really does mean a lot <3. see yall in the next chapter.
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alext39 · 8 months
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okkaaayyy deftnitly no moreteas im liek fiakking over
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lemongogo · 2 years
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yuka
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hhuta · 3 years
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jsdf iconic | i haven't watched the 2010 version so 2011 is my favourite by default | i enjoyed every part of it(music, staging, lighting, etc) except for the story and characterization,,, alw really said "YOU get bad characterization! YOU get bad characterization! EVERYONE gets bad characterization!" 😔 personally i'm most mad about what happened to raoul but everyone got it bad -3D
yup i feel the same. how can u get everything bUT the story and characterisation right?!!??!
and exactly...... not a single character was safe............ raoul is probably the most ridiculous case cuz alw hAD to make him an alcoholic broke asshole gambler just so we could root for erik x christine instead 🗿 
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ackermanbitch · 3 years
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i'm so sorry you're only getting five requests at far as i can see sghhdfhhgh but he needs a costume change badly imo so (gn) reader takes him shopping for a hot second? maybe some of the other hargreeves tag along for spice lmao
i dont think you understand how happy this made me and its okay love, im obsessed with five so i dont mind the requests! 
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- “you ever thought of like- changing? the schoolboy thing is cute and all but it feels a little weird sometimes ngl-” 
-five looked at you like 😃"tf you say” 
-”its the only thing in my closet.” 
- “okkaaayyy? then buy something else.”
- of course you dragged that grump to like dillards or smth idk i shop online (support small businesses or mr pennycrumb is gonna bite ur toes off) 
-oh and with klaus cause that mans fashion is 😍😍
- so like three hours later 
- “im getting tired of this you idiots, just let me pick something and leave” five complained, ripping the curtain open to the dressing room 
- “oh shut up old man” 
- “his hair really doesnt go with it..” you mumbled “you want a haircut love?” 
-”no.” 
- 94th time’s the charm right? 
- “no no no no no no-” 
- “its perfect.” “it is but is it five.” 
- it was literally a loose white button down and ripped jeans 
- “oh my god klaus what about tech wear?” 
- so after like five minutes of squealing and going to different thrift shops you found IT 
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- TECH WEAR FIVE TECH WEAR FIVE TECH WEAR FIVE TECH WEAR FIVE (obviously my man didnt pose like that, just an outfit ref he prob stood there like 🧍‍♂️)
- “its a lot.” five grumbled, pulling at some straps 
- “then just wear it when your kicking ass..or something..” you said, your jaw on the floor like girl lemme pick that up real quick- 
- klaus was just nodding proudly
- obviously at first five was a bit embarrassed about wearing the outfit when he was working but he’d do anything for u 😳😳
- but soon enough
- he lowkey started to feel himself i mean he was absolutely rocking that shit
-and he KNEW it 
- your dumbass would stare at him while he was literally on the verge of losing against lila like “😏😏😳”
- anyway yall are such cuties 
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okwahospirit · 7 years
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     ❛     ––––––––-   hope  you  didn't  lose  anything  valuable  in  that  card  game     ❜
savaillance   |   liked.
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irenelesbian · 6 years
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i just woke up and all your kinky asks are on my dash okkaaayyy
AJSNFDGJK im so sorry.....
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catskillls · 7 years
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Um this guy im talking to keeps calling me his?? Like... he responded to my snap story to one pic saying "my body" then to another saying "my lips" like okkaaayyy but no. Theyre mine. U dont own me??? If ur gonna be possessive like that idekkk if this is gonna continue happenin.
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