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kimmkitsuragi · 10 months

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ok this goes under readmore

i be thinking damn i know transition periods are super stressful n scary, and i had a very fucking bad final semester in all ways, and im superfucking stressed about the [redacted], and i am supersuperfucking stressed about the [the future career things in general which i do nothing abt rn bc *gestures at the beginning of the post* and then i become even more mega stressed] like i get that MAYBE having a break IS kinda necessary lol but then also i feel like im running out of time and i get scared that i will be stuck in a loop of not doing anything ever and ever again and all that. and i feel like it's trueeeee i gotta do SOMETHINg at one point but im fucking exploding so icannot do anything in general

and anyway what i be thinking is this: i know all THAT ^. but also like i said I gotta get past all that and Move... BUT.... then i think i literally have been showing so very bad physical symptoms of anxiety due to all THAT ^. like. very bad i think I've been having panic attacks but im not sure and i dont wanna assume????? but i had that feeling for the first time in may when all that shit was happening like i thought i WAS gonna have a heart attack or something genuinely. and it's been fine in general after mid-june but then....... this last 1-2 weeks all of THAT^^ have been becoming too much in general for me i guess. and now i get that feeling very very often like i had it 2 times (???) today and last night i couldnt sleep lol.

and ANYWAY then i think to myself please get your shit together whatever the fuck has been happening to you have been happening but like. let's move on okay. you're being pathetic and loserlike and you just have to move on like what u gonna do be jobless for the rest of time and do nothing in general like? what IS your plan babygirl perhaps we should move on and i DO think im right about this

BUT...... then literally everyone i see in the last week has been getting worried abt me like. it just makes me realize more and more that this is not just another stressful week i have to move through bravely maybe. idk what im supposed to do but it's BAD i know that i realize that. i know ive been staring at the Nothingness a lot more and i know i havent been sleeping that much and it's not for working reasons anymore so i have no reason literally (and it's not for fun purposes either like watching movies or reading or playing or whatever) and i know I have shortness of breath and a Lot of shakes and a lot of trouble with trying not to vomit and just existing in general or doing anything. and it shows in things like hand eye coordination too i have been breaking things constantly and when it's useless stuff it's whatever but like i just straight up dropped a fucking LAPTOP to the ground and it wasnt even mine i feel literally so bad abt all this i feel like all these stuff must also be worrying and or annoying for other ppl (thankfully the laptop is generally fine but the usb of the wireless mouse was totally screwed thanks to me :/) oh and I've been crying a lot but it's nothing new i guess

anyway i wrote all that to say Something has been up with me certainly but like. i am still feeling paralyzed in general so not doing anything about anything but i SHOULD. i should move on from whatever the fuck is this weird mind phase i just need to get myshit together and be NORMAL and like do the things i must do without crying and screaming and throwing up and then having a panic attack on top of that lmao

(and the worst part is all of this is literallyjust normal life stuff in general like ijust cant cope with normal stuff i guess then what the fuck am I supposed to do then)

#not even changing anything I'm just posting this directly like the mess it is sorry #neg #🗒

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crucifiedfaerie · 5 months

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HOWDY!!!!!🤠

I hope you are having the most amazing day/night (it’s 12:30am right now for me, whoopsies)

I saw your post about stan accounts who follow you and I’m gonna be totally honest, totally might be me (I’m a new follower because I have re-entered my Adam Driver is a refrigerator I would like to climb and open)! But I will say, I try to stay away from the actual celeb(s) and their die hard stans because they are, put lightly, CRAY CRAY!!!! Like a literal war zone sometimes. I admire their hot-ness and their fictional characters’ bangability from a distance of the celeb/rpf!

Anywho, I have only been following for a little, but I want you to know that I LOVE YOUR BEN SOLO WRITING!!! Especially nicotine stains, I love me a modern au and yours is simply delicious!!!

Like so good I might shit myself from excitement when pt 2 comes out!!!!!!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!!

Any way, this has gone on way too long. Have a great day!!! I hope it is as amazing as you are!!!!

🫀🫀🙇‍♀️

omg its all good! i was half joking anyways i really dont care who or what ppl enjoy, im just personally not a [redacted] supporter ! at the end of the day we're all just freaks on the internet trying to have fun.

i totally agree w you though there's certain fanbases who take shit way too far... some more than others but i feel like it can be found in every fandom to a certain degree. there are even icky adam fans out there that i try to steer clear of. like ppl who slander his wife, that shit is so not cool. i love him and thirst after him as much as the next fan but like man :( hes a human being and shes a human being and they love each other and have kids... theres a certain line that should not be crossed. ppl tend to forget that celebrities are real people with feelings.

and aaaaa omg thank you!! it makes me so happy to hear that ppl genuinely enjoy my silly little stories about my emo little guy <3 nicotine stains has got to be my fav so far as well, its literally so fun to write and delinquent!kylo just fills my heart with so much joy. its also nice to not write something so heavy and dark every now and then for a change. kylo ren fanfiction in general tends to always be super sad and sometimes i just wanna see my emo space bf be happy for once lmao.

and girl- me too honestly. im currently writing pt 2 and im making even myself giggle and kick my feet so im super excited to finally put it out... its very overdue bc ive been distracted by a bunch of stuff. (the bunch of stuff in question being a 59 chapter ao3 fic lmao) but if youd like to be added to the taglist so you can be notified when its out, you can always pm me !!!

i hope you have a lovely night/morning as well (its 1am for me lol) and thank you sm again for your kind words on my work, it truly means the most 🫶🏻

#<3 #saint answers !

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actualbird · 1 year

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Oh no I've been thinking about switching career to writing because I'm so so drained in my current one but I saw you saying not to pursue writing if it's a hobby. What made you feel that way if you don't mind me asking? I'm scared I might make a mistake if I change paths so any info would be very helpful, thanks x

hi anon!! i'd like it on record that i made that last post under a moment of duress and stress. granted, a moment thats been ongoing for months (a monthsment?), but like. i am taking a step back to provide an objective truth:

when im not stressed out of my mind, i genuinely enjoy my job.

i do like writing, even if it's for work. i love writing, i wouldnt have decided to study it in college and pursue a career in it if i didnt love it because lbr, nobody is going into writing for the money or fame, that such an outlier that it's almost laughable (laughter that dissolves into tired sobs, but still laughable. jkHVKJHVKJH).

but the reason i said that (and the reason why my writing exhaustion has been so recurring and regular) is cuz like---

(and forgive me but im gonna need to use a metaphor to explain this. how writerly of me jVKJSHDFKJSHD im also putting this under the cut so i dont flood ppl's dash with a writerly philosophical breakdown basically jhvKJVJK)

---it's like, when i personally write, the energy i need to do it comes from a specific HP bar, so to speak. like how in games, youve got a stamina bar and an HP bar and an MP bar and all that. my brain has a dedicated WP (Writing Points) bar, thats separate from all the other metaphorical energy bars ive got, like the Socializing Points bar or the Physical Health Bar---oh wait that already exists, thats just normal HP jkhvdfkjVKJKVJ.

problem is, that that WP bar isnt subdivided into specific kinds of writing. it's just for All writing, whether or not it's writing i do for myself for fun (like fanfic and hcs or character analyses or even just ping-ponging ideas and concepts around with buddies) or writing i do to earn money (for context: i work in advertising, so im writing anything and everything from billboards to tv commercial scripts to daily social media posts, and beyond).

my brain just sees any kind of writing as Writing. it's all synonyms, because all kinds of writing i do are powering the same brain mechanisms, even if the type of writing im doing is different.

so what ends up happening very often for me is that, by the end of the day and/or week, after non-stop writing for work, i sit down at my laptop with a hunger to write something fun with my fave tot characters and i realize that my WP bar has already been completely depleted. because i used all the points for work writing, and i Needed to because thats my job and it's how i make a living. but now theres none left for fun writing until the arbitrary time period wherein my WP bar resets. additionally, because all Writing is synonyms in my brain's processes, when i feel stressed doing work-writing, i will also feel stressed doing fun-writing. it's like muscle memory, even if those things are different.

so. this makes me tired. im really very tired constantly because i dont have the energy to write for fun a lot of the time, and being unable to do that drains the maximum value of my WP bar even more. ideally, that maximum value is sposed to grow, but if im tired and miserable all the time, i grow weak, and so the maximum value diminishes.

that being said, going into writing as a career is not a mistake. it really depends on what you want to do and how you Handle your reactions to what you end up doing

like, ive got a whole bunch of other [redacted unhealthy mental habits] which are doing the opposite of solving my eternally depleted WP bar. and i know there are ways out there to manage my energy better or manage my workload better. when im not stressed, i enjoy my job and that enjoyment feeds into my energy and lets me write more things for myself for fun. and again, i cannot stress this enough, i love writing and it's the only thing i can see myself doing for the rest of my life. it's just hard to love it when youre exhausted 24/7

but thats all jobs, sometimes, right?

idk i kinda panicked when i saw this ask and felt disheartened because i dont want to be dissuading people from pursuing something they want to do. so i wanna end this by saying that pursuing a job in writing is not automatically a mistake if your hobby is also writing. it depends on a lot of factors, and even if you reach a point that you feel like crud all the time like me, there are solutions and ways to to make it better.

im just trying to figure out those solutions myself too ajhfkjsfvkjashfa

i hope this helped, anon

#asks #anon #ive seen that this energy problem is super common within the creatives industry from people who had creative work first #as their hobby and then as their career. and a lot of people still flourish. so it's not all hope is lost i promise #im just having a tough time lately jsdhfvjds

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bi-polar-geminii · 10 months

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i don’t mean what i’m saying with malice, however, can you please stop putting all your inbox asks regarding the issue of listener designs on the main tag. i understand you want people to know about this issue (if this is your intention), but all you’re doing is making the artists who draw as a hobby feel bad, and just adding negativity to the main tag. i understand how it feels to not see yourself represented, but that’s where you come in. for those wanting rep, you can either draw it yourself or if you can’t draw it and are so adamant on wanting rep, commission and support an artist! consistently complaining won’t get anything done but draw artists away from the fandom itself and make art we see for these characters we all love become sparse and less.

additionally, listeners, at the end of the day, are us. if an artist is an afab female, chances are that listener will also be an afab female. some artists may not draw pocs not because they just don’t want to, but because they aren’t well-versed in depicting their features and don’t want to do it an injustice. there’s no need to rush to the worst possible and negative explanation. i have never seen myself represented in a single piece of redacted fanart, however i know better than to just nonsensically complain about it — because complaining won’t get anything done (it’ll only do more harm if anything).

thank you for making your points known, and i hope what i’m saying comes across to you as i intended it to

Out of respect, I did remove the unnecessary posts from the tags bc they did clog up the main tag (my bad, but also if its that bothersome, you can literally scroll past it, your not obligated to read everything)

I’m not slamming anyone or shaming people, that was never the intention here. It was to make light on how some artists choose to make characters (not self inserts) white simply bc of mainstream/kinda racist ideas that characters in media can only be portrayed as white to be popular or liked bc of white beauty standards. I want people to reflect and think about that, but I never said ppl *couldn’t* make them white or afab. Im not trying to gatekeep or force people to suddenly get rid of all their white characters just bc i said there isn’t enough representation

Also *I do* have characters for fandom rep, I have lots of them. The only reason why I don’t post them is because they aren’t finished yet. But what’s wrong with having an opinion on something? You have to admit, people wouldn’t be in my inbox telling that *I* have to create the representation needed and that my opinion is hurting everyone’s feelings if I was a white creator. Just think about that

Also im sorry but the whole “some ppl dont draw poc characters cause they dont know how to!” is an argument thats just very fucking tiring to hear. It truly isn’t that hard, like im being serious. There are *a lot* of free recourses out there to learn if your super keen on learning how to draw the different ethnic facial features. But if you wanna create a black/brown person for example, this is what you do; draw the character, make their skin color a darker brown. Congratulations! You’ve made a poc character! Ladies and gentlemen its really not that difficult, if your not willing to challenge yourself on how to draw different types of people or your too scared to- its gonna stunt your growth as an artist

This was the first time I opened up about an opinion I had seeing in this fandom, so idk what you mean by ‘consistently complaining’ when this whole situation has only happened once (for me)

#anon

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chesthighwater · 11 months

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by thé way. wips roundup that absolutely no one asked for

first of all in the daudmartin brainrot corner we've got

sequel to bctbk, as promised. i have a major "plot" point planned, and then it might go one of two directions... we shall see :3c

the high overseer martin/assassin daud fic that i've posted a few excerpts from. essentially daud manifests himself into the abbey suggestively asking for ~spiritual guidance~ (lol) and things escalate from there. this has to get finished at some point because its like one of the first things i started writing for them. it deserve to see the light of day

a mildly humorous high overseer martin/spymaster daud fic. kind of a challenge for myself also- i find spymaster daud hard to imagine, and am not that used to writing daudmartin where they're not constantly trying to one-up/double cross each other/at each other's throats flirtatiously. presumably will not be nsfw (or at least, i'm not planning on it, but i make no promises. can't know where the ol inspiration will take me).

oh heres another high overseer martin thing! who wouldve thought! this time with Responsibility and Abbey Politics and Decisions. and working through issues. so many fucking issues. this one is actually actively in the works so ill leave it at that for now ;>

daudmartin pwp with genuinely 0 plot. like, negative plot. this thing defies plot. i can barely even tell you if it's an au or what, i might sprinkle a few nonsexual sentences in if i'm feeling generous but that's it. other than that it's literally just about martin being very quiet during sex and daud trying every trick he has in his book (which admittedly isn't many) to change that instead of like, communicating

augh speaking of plot-defying pwps. "what if overseers had (some appropriate equivalent to) confessions". there is some lore in here obviously but the entire point of it is confessional dirty talk. i dont KNOW

[REDACTED] pwp which im not even gonna advertise itll just appear one day and if you find it you found it

mostly unplanned ideas that i might flesh out: sokolov portrait thing. some dunwall noir stuff purely for martin in a cassock reasons (and sexualising religious guilt reasons. if i knew anything at all about priests i'd be working on this much faster). something involving the outsider appearing to martin (this might just get absorbed in a more well fleshed out idea at some point). martin Suffering More, because i want him in a situation where his wit fails completely (more desperation! more excuses! i am weak for this i really am.). something involving some more Action- fighting together against an acute threat? i think there should be more fighty martin out there. i am the change i want to see in the world

(not including the various snippets for the eternal serkonan vacation au which i already laid out there)

in the thief crossover brainrot corner (i bet you forgot i allude to thief crossovers in my description!)

also a sokolov portrait thing, but i have it way more planned out. corvo really, really wants garrett to sit in for a portrait (especially now when he's officially the empire's shadiest most mysterious spymaster ever). he reluctantly agrees, but Under One Condition.

a sort of relationship chronicle via heart lines. definitely starts with corvo's diplomatic mission and possibly ends with some happy dh2 era content. obviously i have the heart lines planned out.

possibly something involving more political intrigue/royal drama type stuff? i'm lucky enough to have access to someone who can give me some really good examples/plots if i fail to come up with anything myself.

(this is just a thief thing but i have had a viktoria/lt. mosley thing running around my brain for AGES. i want to explore how their relationship develops so bad. i know they have literally one interaction in canon but they are my blorbinas and i have mentally expanded their backstories so hard the story is basically begging to be written at this point)

anyway if you read this unreasonably unnecessarily long post i love you. i am sending you a kiss. wanna get married

#long post. be warned #did you know that you can press the j key to skip a post? do that if you open it and realise that Im Not Reading All That #anyway I HAVE DISEASES OF THE BRAIN AND HERE THEY ARE.#j #this better not show up in any tags #these are all at various degrees of completion #some of them are like 2 actual written sentences and the rest lives inside my head #some are This close to being published #i am keeping you on your toes.#ive had this thing in my drafts for weeks really for myself more than anything else #but i thought it might be fun to post it.

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birdybirdnerd · 2 years

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birdys super awesome writing advice for longfic: stolen from someone on tumblr who deleted the post and i cant remember their username. please god if this sounds familiar shoot me a message so i can properly credit you

alright so you wanna write a longfic but you have a chronic problem where you run out of steam partway through and/or you forget where you were going with things. weve all been there. its one of the reasons why there was a three year hiatus in my fic somewhere else. sorry yall but this shit literally changed my life, so im gonna do my best to explain the process ive adopted to keep myself motivated and on track for multi-chaptered fic

you start out with an idea, a concept. you have some pieces you know you wanna turn into a longer story

write that shit down. go full word vomit in a doc. brainstorm to your hearts content, but, and this is crucial: use bullet points. that way, if you have an idea for something that wouldve gone in earlier, you can skip back up, hit enter, and have a new bullet point to add it in

feel free to get as detailed as you want here, as you think of little things you know youll want to include or connections or foreshadowing youll want to make. keep in mind though, that this phase is exclusively to Get The Idea Out. get the story from point a to point b, etc

ALSO. while you do this and while the characters develop during your brainstorming, or before if you already know the characters well enough to do this, you should have a separate doc where you go through and describe all major characters. not physically (unless you want to), but rather their personalities. their motivations. their characters arcs that theyll go through during the story- and thats another reason to do it along with your brainstorming, so you can go in and add these things as you think of them

for this demonstration, ill be using my fic fate or a fools errand as examples. wouldve used somewhere else since i mentioned it earlier but i lost the brainstorming doc and also its gone through like. three revisions so whatever

so well start out with my character list:

(ive redacted a couple things for spoiler reasons, but if youre caught up with fate as of july 3rd then everything thats left is spoiler free. wouldve used bobby as the example but his is. very full of spoilers and would be basically all redacted)

so here, you can see where i gave a brief description of loors personality, and then detailed her place in the story (since fate is a crossover). her backstory, her reasonings for doing things, all of that is laid out. a few things have changed while i wrote, since this was made, but most of it still holds true (and you can see the gdocs comment highlights where i went in and changed my mind; i like to keep the old versions there in case i change my mind again or want to use that idea for something/someone else)

and onto what i have dubbed 'outline: the lesser'

ive taken the part literally from the very beginning of my brainstorming doc. at this point in the process, dont worry about splitting things into chapters; youll come to that later. just get those ideas out, point a, point b, etc etc.

you can see where i had the idea for the prologue, then skip ahead to bobby in modern day. boom boom boom, idea idea idea. just get those things out and onto the (metaphorical) paper, you can worry about making it flow better later.

another one, so you can see again just how condensed this is. the events in these four bullet points spanned the course of what, just as many chapters? that wasnt intentional i swear, but yeah. suuuper condensed

so anyways. after youve gotten to the end of your fics brainstorm, take a break. please god, take a break. come back to it in the morning, with a clear head

then when you do, make a new document, turn to a new page, whatever. new space, and title it 'outline: the greater'

now, you go through that super vague bullet point list, and expand upon things. scene by scene, beat by beat; dont try to make it look pretty, dont worry about dialogue or descriptions just yet (unless its jotting down something you might forget later, but even then Dont worry about making it a pretty description just bare bones)

this is where you really connect things. looking back over your lesser outline, connect the dots. insert that foreshadowing. do it bullet point style again, so that if you have an idea you want to incorporate or if a great line of dialogue pops into your head, you can add a new point and indent it and jot that down for later. but other than that, just write write write. this is also where you separate your rambling into chapters, as you write and find those perfect places to split things up

if you do this step right, your greater outline should end up looking halfway like a suuuuper rough first draft. again, no actual dialogue for the most part, but rather 'they have a conversation about this and this. character a has this opinion, but character b disagrees for this reason. character a argues their point, but character c interjects and then this even happens and their conversation gets shelved for later'. same with basically all events

here, you can see ive expanded upon what became the beginning of chapter one. establishing bobby as the protagonist, establishing his mindset at the start of the story. i set up the inciting scene, and leave some notes on indented points to myself about things i need to look up, or details i should include, or expansions for scenes and interactions i can use

more expansion, more elaboration. you can see other places where i changed my mind after writing this, while writing the chapter itself, and plain forgot to make the relevant note here: originally i had bobby and spader actually help out the nomads to get the sunstone, but then i decided against (things were dragging along too much anyways) and also, i realized i wanted to insert more conflict between the two of them to mirror their canon troubles

anyways. after your greater outline is done, once again i insist you take a day or so, a night at the very least, to sit back from it and not look at what youve done so far. let it sit, let it marinate and come back to it with a clearer mind, because if youre like me then youve spent the last few days frantically planning shit out and frustrating yourself to hell and back with the ending. sit back, drink some tea, rest your eyes. itll be there in the morning

now, for the actual writing part: what youre gonna wanna do is make Another doc (i know, im sorry) for chapter one or the prologue or whatever. copy that entire section from your greater outline, paste it in the new doc. hit enter a few times at the start to give yourself a little breathing room, and then go back to the top and start writing, using your pasted outline as a guide. that way, you dont have to constantly switch between docs, and also you can delete bullet points as you go along, having written whats there

another piece of advice thats something i did before i adopted this method, regarding editing:

when it comes time to edit, what i do instead of going through and editing like that, is i copy the entire chapter into either another doc or like my notes app on my computer or whatever, and then rewrite the entire thing. i know, its a lot, but that way i can edit as i go. if i realize a certain sentence or paragraph doesnt flow the way i want it to, its a lot easier to just rewrite it from scratch than try to edit individual parts of sentences and stitch them back together, worrying the whole time about the format and grammar Like That instead of on making the paragraph actually good

so uh. i think thats it. let me know if you have any other questions, im happy to answer to the best of my ability. using this writing/outlining style genuinely changed the game for me, allowed me to get a better grasp on what i wanted from the story before i actually started writing and ended up writing myself into a corner. both outline stages can feel kind of stagnant, but at least with this, youll have a frame you can work off of and figure it out

thanks!

#personal #writing #writing advice #writblr #writerblr #fate or a fools errand #somewhere else #was just gonna make this for a friend then realized it might help others so. full ass tumblr post it is

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lvyu · 2 years

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pom this is probably so annoying but this is for your ask game: ✍️,🍦,💖,🏆,🤭

(no pressure to answer all of them!!!)

ok well i like talking abt myself so i am gonna answer them (also i hope you feel better than earlier!! ^^)

[ ✍ do you have a beta reader? ]

no. lol. just that one time with that one fic <3

[🍦 what’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far? ]

‘searching for you amongst the clouds’ for sure i think, it’s the sweetest and most well written of the bunch (of sweet fics) it’s just a nice moment between the two :’)

[ 💖 what made you start writing? ]

eight year old pom was the type of boy to see a plot point and ask: is anybody gonna write that? and not wait for an answer

( srs: i read fanfic and was like omg?? i can do that too!! and so i did. my first fanfic was on quotev and it was so bad it was .. it was for [redacted] fandom … )

[ 🏆 what’s your most popular fic? ]

dude for some reason ‘and we’re live!’ is really popular, it’s way ahead not only most of my drabbles, but leagues ahead of my fics, my most popular fic stands around 500 notes, whilst ‘and we’re live!’ stands at 3000

like fuck. you guys love you’re cute moments with your streamer bfs.

[ 🤭 do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works? ]

okay . wait. no, but i have two tags i really like:

# do i just like deranged men in my fics? i dont know

# everyone leave me alone i love ghostbur so much

both are good. both are good <3 i miss ghostbur im gonna cry i miss him

#[✉️] inbox #pom’s game nights #user: ivyinnit #ivy!#sorry for the late reply! i was just being a lazy bum

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