#I've been through periods of self loathing. Those have passed.
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*exhibits symptoms of disorders you have been diagnosed with and just so happen to also be depression symptoms, but isnt actually depressed*
People: Hmm I diagnose you with depression
#for reference the symptoms are fatigue/trouble motivating/general anxiety#I have had at least 4 people suggest 'Oh you might be depressed' in reference to my exhibiting symptoms of...what I have#It's very frustrating#Im tired because im chronically ill#I have trouble motivating because thats what ADHD does and being tired does#And my anxiety issues have gotten BETTER#Im am not numb hopeless or sad. I have plenty of interest in the things I like even at my worst.#my appetite is the same as its ever been#I've been through periods of self loathing. Those have passed.#and even when they were present I knew it the thoughts weren't facts bc God isn't a liar#Which that was the closest I've been to being depressed in a long time. But it still isn't depression.#If I were treated for depression rn it would totally ignore all the things ACTUALLY causing my symptoms#Life is awesome. I like doing things & I think I am the bee's knees (lol)#I have been depressed before. This just ain't it chief.#I already know what my issues are#Just cuz I got those don't mean I have to be depressed too#and I feel weird saying it too because I have the oddest feeling that I'm going to be dismissed as stubborn and blindsided#like 'you just refuse to admit it' kinda thing#But I know what it is that I am expiriencing#It's frustrating that an entirely different topic keeps coming up about it#also. the self loathing issues- they popped up when my ANXIETY got worse.#I was otherwise not expiriencing depressive symptoms outside of the things I expirience as a result of other illnesses#that I have been actually diagnosed with#blegh grr growl#Wanna focus on the actual issues not come up with false ones
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