#I'm just gonna work my grandma because I'm the favorite grandchild | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaosverseline · 2 months

Text

Memes

When imu first met crocodile (note :crocodile is trans here and was assigned female at birth, he is really a male, but in here he is still a baby)

Imu :okay! 😃Grandma is here! Now where is that baby!

Imu:(Sees baby crocodile) 😍gimme!gimme!gimme! Come on,where is she.where is she.

imu:(sees Edward Newgate) (>:0) yeah, I see you son in law, you’re chopped liver, where is the baby.

Yraif :(hands the baby to imu)

imu: Oh! 🥹 oh!

-five minutes later-

imu: I know you told me not to get you any clothes but….(holds up the armful of shopping bags 🛍) they partially jump in the cart!

-one second later-

imu:(cooing over their first grandchild) oh~! Isn’t she … just… god..

-2 minutes later-

imu: I know you said you have enough enough quilts,but….(pulls out a well done quilt from a box) I crochet them on the way in.

— much time later-

baby crocodile: (baby cries)Waaah— wah!

imu: OK, 😨(panicking) grandma got it,grandma got it 😰

imu:(sees *insert someone *rushing in)

imu: (demon mode)NOBODY ELSE TOUCHES THE KID, GRANDMA GOT IT!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

* silence *

imu: 😅(calms down)whew, grandma have a little stroke , but I got u now.

—-at the end——-

imu:(to yraif and Edward Newgate) no pressure but… I want another one, make it happen.

—— after god valley——

imu: seriously? You two got 6 ass long years and still no 2nd kid? Then who else I can spoil! Did you two forgot how it works? Newgate , did you put it in the right place? Ah, well, it too late now, I’m taking yriaf with me, yes, young lady , you’re grounded for the next 20 years for this stupid stunt. Pray I didn’t extend it to 70 years.

————————————————————————-

You want beer?

imu: yriaf meet your father. I hope you two would get along.

xebec:…. Um…..

xebec: (holds up a beer glass 🍺) you want a beer?

imu:(smacks xebec head) (((ꎤ ✧曲✧)̂—̳͟͞͞o ShE is four! 🤬

xebec: I DONT KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

imu: this wouldn’t happen if you didn’t left when she still a baby!

[afterwards]

narrator: xebec d rocks slept on the couch that night. Despite the rocky meeting, xebec eventually became a girl dad and charmed his way back into imu’s graces after a round of make up s*x. Which lasted for another 10 years until imu got annoyed with his lack of spousal commitment and xebec being always running off to his ship for another adventure and yeah, the whole I-want-to-take-over-the-world thing.

——————————————————————————-

Xebec and imu’s red flag

xebec:Hey girl, what's your favorite film?They said

imu: the best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called Human Centipede, Human Centipede(shadowy arms spout from their back)

Xebec: I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight.

Xebec: I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

Imu: (creepy)Why are you blinking so much?

Xebec:(rubbing the corners of his eye)I've got something in my eye

Imu:(shows really sharp fingernails)Here, let me get it out.

xebec:no thank you, I don't wanna die.

Saint elder: (dress up as a waiter and whispering at xebec ear)Bonjour, sir was blinking at me, is this because your date is a freak?

xebec and saint elder:(looks at imu, they are making a figure out of toothpicks and olives, in the chest of the figure is impaled with toothpicks)

Xebec:No

Saint elder:Very good then, bon appétit

—————————————————————————-

Amateurs

Donquixote Doflamingo : I am the first celestial dragon pirate!

Sir crocodile: I was there before you, you only publicized yourself as a celestial dragon so everyone can kiss your feet!

?: amateurs.

Doflamingo: What was that, punk?!

Yriaf : Amateurs.<——sailed under xebec d rocks as an active crew member undetected for 20 years prior to the god valley incident. A long time before either two amateurs ever came along.

every member of the d clan who are pirates: Hi. <——even though they are not celestial dragons,but they are still related to the nerona clan regardless, as the D clan are all related to imu’s half siblings at one point.

————————————————

Five elder stars: we need an army.

imu: I can take on xebec.

elder stars: in a fight right?

imu:……….:)

elder stars: in a fight right??😨

—————-/———pigeon meme——-

imu: (to literally anyone in close proximity to child/grandchildren/great grandchildren ) is this a new in law I need to torture?

#crazy headcanon idea #dumb crack idea #imu sama is luffy great grandmother #one piece #celestial dragons #imu sama #world nobles #op imu #crocodad #op crocodile #crocodile is a newgate #one piece crocodile

11 notes · View notes

attanos · 5 years

Note

laurie i'm not gonna pretend having any chill....4, 8, 10, 15, 20, 26 for santi and riley

uhhhhhh yeah i’m about to go feral

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

they’re both pretty lowkey people so honestly just chilling out at either of their places and watching shitty movies or tv shows is one of their favourite ways to spend their time.

there’s also their semi-regular camping trips. like let’s be real they probably have a ‘spot’ as this point and unironically do all the cheesy camping stuff. horror stories around the camp fire and stargazing included.

(honorable mention to cryptid hunting with boomer)

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

well, santi, obviously.

riley uses babe in a pretty platonic way like even before they’re dating she’d call him that but it definitely carries over into the relationship. baby is way more rare for her to use and she either has to be half asleep or fully in her feels to use it. also old man because riley loves to milk every single inch of their four year age gap.

i feel like santi has a collection of sickeningly sweet and stupid nicknames for the sole purpose of embarrassing riley. ( “hey pumpkin” / “i’ll kill you with my bare hands” ) but also he calls her riles once without noticing when he’s tryna get her attention and she knows it’s stupid but her heart does a fucking summersault.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

riley’s got a stupid good memory and also knows santi’s weird taste in food to a t. but they’ve honestly eaten out so much together and always get the same stuff so either of them.

15. Who wakes up first?

they’ve both got weird sleep schedules because of work but riley is a freak who gets up with the sun to work out and stuff so she’s up first but it’s way harder when santi sleeps over because he’s warm and a cuddler and really cute asleep so it’s a fucking trial to drag herself out of bed and not just go back to sleep with him.

she’s a real fool so sometimes she’ll just lay there and watch him sleep for a little bit and play with his hair and just honestly let herself think about how much she loves him and how happy she is that she got over her own stupid issues to give them a shot because she can’t imagine not being with him.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

most everyone’s reaction when riley and santi tell them they’re dating is something along the lines of ‘jesus took y’all long enough, huh?’ half of hope county was in on a betting pool on when they’d finally get their shit together. (pratt won)

but honestly their friends and family can see how much they care about each other and how happy they make each other and even before they were dating they were living out of each others pockets so everyone is used to the two of them by the time they do start dating.

riley’s grandma fucking loves santi. she thinks he’s incredibly handsome and funny and loves how clearly happy he makes riley (her fave grandchild lmao).

26. What would be their theme song?

the only exception - paramore

#oc tag #shot myself directly in the heart with that last one huh #highoverseer

3 notes · View notes