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#I'm gonna need at least a year to get over the last episode
thankskenpenders · 3 months
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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savventeen · 8 months
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you say the stupidest (sweetest) things
pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3
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From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]
yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science
Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.
To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.
Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.
He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.
“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“
“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”
The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.
He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”
“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”
“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”
His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.
Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.
“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”
Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”
“So. Where're we at this time?”
He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.
“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”
“Aish.”
The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.
“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”
“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.
“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”
“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”
He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”
“No, it isn't.”
Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.
“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”
“I'm not lying!”
“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”
A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”
He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”
“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.
“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."
You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.
“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”
“...”
“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”
“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.
“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.
“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”
“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”
“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”
Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”
“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”
Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”
“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”
Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”
“Booooooo, you whore.”
He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”
“Ugh, fine.”
“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.
Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.
A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.
Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.
But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.
Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.
how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh
He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.
But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.
Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.
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Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.
You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.
The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.
Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.
Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.
You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.
Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.
And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.
It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.
With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.
Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.
And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.
For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.
Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.
You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."
He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."
“Yep!”
You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.
The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.
Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.
💤 💤 💤 💤 💤
It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.
Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.
It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.
He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.
And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.
Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.
Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.
"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"
He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.
"Am— am I okay? No??"
Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"
Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.
"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"
Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"
"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?
Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.
"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"
He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"
Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"
"What you just said."
You blink. "...that I'm confused?"
He shakes his head. "No, before that."
You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"
"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.
That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.
He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””
Oh.
You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"
He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"
And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."
Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.
You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."
"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"
"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"
"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.
"Oh my god!"
He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.
This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.
But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.
"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."
Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.
And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.
You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"
This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.
When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.
"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"
Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.
"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"
Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"
"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"
"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."
And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.
He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.
And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"
"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."
Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"
He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.
"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.
"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."
You blink at him.
"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”
He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”
You snort.
“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”
"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.
“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”
Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.
The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.
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darlingshane · 3 months
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Salt of the Earth ~ Part 3 (Final)
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Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC
Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.
Content/Warnings: 18+. Explicit, Friends to lovers, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Smut, Shower Sex, BJ's, P in V, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Addiction, Alcohol, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy, Undisclosed age gap.
Word Count: 12.3k // Chapters 8-10 // AO3 Link.
— Part 1 (Chapters 1-4) // Part 2 (Chapters 5-7)
A/N: This part includes my version of the infamous 'Fishes' episode. Though having Maya in it changed a few things, most of it is pretty faithful to the actual script. I also borrowed some of the dialogue to keep it as close as possible.
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Chapter 8: As warm as toast
Maya is hugging Michael’s back when the warm breath of her dog is pressed against her ear. She tells the dog to go back to sleep, but Coco, ignoring her request, whines a couple of times until Maya has no choice but to get up. Though it's still terribly early, she takes Coco out to the park down the street from Michael’s building. It's freezing outside, but that doesn’t stop Coco from zooming across the park a hundred times until she’s spent while Maya paces along the fence, wrapped in thick layers of hat, scarf, mittens and a bulky coat.
Upon their return, Maya fills Coco’s bowl and makes some coffee.
They’ve fallen into a nice routine with Michael. He’s made room in his life for them, as much as they’ve welcomed him open into theirs. Half a week they spent in his apartment, and the other half at Maya’s house.
While she sips on her coffee, she tries to guess what's inside the big wrapped box that has been sitting in Michael’s living room for a week. Curiosity has been killing her since she saw it the other day. Her fingers tap on one of the sides and lightly pull on the edge of the red and white paper, trying to sneak a peek of the box.
“I told you to leave that alone, Maybird. That’s not for you.” Michael catches her red-handed as he comes out of the bedroom.
“C’mon, Bear, let me open it already. It’s Christmas.”
“Uh-uh, it’s Christmas Eve.”
“Is it a sex swing? It feels like a sex swing.” She keeps tapping on the box.
“It's not a sex swing. Keep guessing.” Michael snorts, leaning over to kiss her good morning. “Your face is cold, did you go out?”
“Uh-huh.” She glances at Coco, who’s currently devouring her food by the kitchen. “She woke me up and dragged me outside.”
“At least she knows how to hold it and ask for the head.” Michael goes around the breakfast bar to fill a mug with coffee. “Remember that yorkie that Francie had that couldn’t stop peeing everywhere.”
“Well, training goes a long way.”
“That's what everyone kept telling her, but her parents ended up leaving a poor thing in the kennel.”
“I mean it's Francie. I'm not surprised. She really can't be trusted to take care of anything. How's she? I haven't seen her in ages.”
“She's around. I think. Last time I saw her was probably a couple of years ago. She’s banned from our house.”
“Why?”
“Beats me. It's a Sugar thing. I think Francie tried to hit on Pete or something. You'll have to ask Sug.”
“Really? Just when I thought she couldn’t sink lower.”
“Tell me about it.” He pulls up his sweats as he takes a seat on the couch next to her.
“Okay, stop trying to distract me. So, if it’s not a sex swing, or a pizza oven, which I really wanted by the way…”
“The sex swing?” He lifts a brow at her and takes a sip of his mug.
“The pizza oven, smartass. How about… a weighted blanket?”
“First, you don’t need any of those. You can cook pizza already in your oven, and why do you need a weighted blanket or a sex swing when you have me?”
“That’s true.”
“You know what? Go ahead and open it, but you’re gonna need Coco, cause like I told you, that’s not for you. C’mere Coco Girl.”
Coco’s floppy ears perk up at Michael’s call. The dog turns her head to look at Michael for a second before continuing chewing her food.
“She’s too busy to open presents right now.”
“Figures.”
They wait till she’s done, and Maya beams in delight, quickly tearing apart the flashy wrapping paper. That delight turns into a mocking frown when she finds out it’s a big, fluffy dog bed for Coco.
“Oh, you weren’t kidding. It’s not for me.”
“Aw, don’t be jealous, sweetheart. You know I have something else for you. She needed a bed here. This couch is so uncomfortable, no even a dog wants to lay here. She’s always either hoarding the bed or sleeping on the rug.”
“Yeah, I know.” Her lips curve up, watching Coco inspect her present before attempting to curl inside. “That’s it, baby, lay down. Good girl.”
“Are we still up for tomorrow?”
Maya sighs, “yeah, I think so. Did you tell them I was coming?”
“I said you might. Just in case you change your mind.”
“Do you want me to change my mind?”
“No,” he strokes her hair with his free hand. “I really want you there.”
“What are we going to tell, y’know… everyone?”
Everyone – meaning Carmy. Though their relationship is practically nonexistent, the last thing she wants to do is show up holding hands with Michael and flaunt it on anyone’s face without a warning.
“Well, Richie is the only one who knows.” Cause he caught them last week making out at their usual bar. “I guess Tiff knows too. Does it freak you out? Do you wanna back out now?”
“No, no. I just… I guess I’m not ready to announce it on a day like this. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, that’s okay, baby. I get it. It’s driving me crazy, too.”
“If they find out, that’s great, but I don’t just wanna put it out there right away.”
“We’ll just have to keep a low profile, then. How hard can it be?”
“I’ve never had a secret relationship before. It could be fun pretending, even if it’s just for a few hours.”
“We just have to hope Richie doesn’t blow our cover.”
“Oh, we’re screwed.”
“I don’t know about that. But I can tell someone is about to get screwed. Shower?” His brow playfully arches.
“Hmm, you’ve read my mind.”
It’s that rush of excitement of being with someone new that leads them quickly to the bathroom. He undresses her just as fast as she pulls his sweats and underwear off him. He hasn’t finished taking off her bra and his lips automatically invite themselves into her neck as she fumbles to get the water going so it warms up before stepping inside.
Under the warm spray of the water, their bodies fuse together. Lips against lips share a vicious amount of kisses and laughs. Their arms tangle around the other, her hands become his, and vice versa. The steam filling the room boils hotter when Michael turns Maya around and presses himself on her ass while one of his hands slides between her legs. Her palms brace the tiled wall, as his mouth bites the flesh at the curve of her neck. Her moans and curses sound like heaven when the blunt tip of his cock slides into her opening. His hips push painfully slow as her walls stretch inch after inch. Once he’s fully sheathed in her tender pussy, his eyes squeeze shut, he lets his desire guide the pacing of his thrusts. Maya waves her hips at the same time, countering his moves until both find the same rhythm. One of his hands clutches the curve of her ass, keeping her secured, as the other stays right on her pussy, rubbing her swollen clit with passion.
His back turns red as the hot water keeps pouring over him. The fiery pressure rising up in his core makes his cock throb inside her. He looks down to see his length disappear inside her fast with each push. At the same time, his mind dissipates somewhere up, above the mist of the bathroom, somewhere above clouds. It’s like he’s traded one addiction for another. As long as he’s with her, he’s safe. It’s not the healthiest way to deal with it, but right now he doesn’t give a shit. The climb to that high is way faster, it feels better, it’s less toxic, but it lasts shorter. That’s the only downside.
“Michael… please,” her breathing swallows, as she inches close to the finish line.
“I know, sweetheart, shh…. Come for me. C’mon…”
Following her plea, he pushes a little harder, rubs a little faster until her body seizes up. She lets out a strained moan that bounces off the steamed walls, as her opening contracts around him harder than he’s ever felt. Maybe it’s the position. It feels like pure bliss to have her squeezing every last drop of him.
Catching his own breath, he hangs his head down to rest on her nape for a moment. While still riding that high, he slowly slips out of her and drops to his knees on the shower floor. His hands handle her body around so she's facing him. As her abdomen lines up with his face, he glances up to capture her glowing aura, stunning as ever. Maya’s still floating in that same sea of ecstasy he floats on. It makes her look like a goddess from his position. Her dark hair cascades over her shoulders, sticks to her skin as it touches the curves of her chest. Water trails down her body as if she was standing under a waterfall. And like the Goddess she is, he aims to devout himself only to her.
He gently holds one of her legs up, letting his lips glide across the surface of her thigh as he drapes her leg over his shoulder. His mouth waters as it gets closer to her center. Licking his lips, his eager tongue just to taste the heaven between her legs. It's slicked and tender, ready to consume. His mouth fits perfectly against it. Wide open. Desperate to please her with the flick of his tongue and ease his own affliction.
Maya leans her back on the wall, anchors her only feet hard to the floor, and grips at his soaked hair as his tongue works restlessly all over her sex. He sucks her clit between his lips, licks her folds, circles her dripping opening, and revels in tasting both, him and her. In a wild frenzy, he devours it all. It consumes his need and desperation for more. Her moans are exquisite. Her body writhes in his hold as she rises up gracefully to a higher plane.
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Chapter 9: Bigger fishes to fry
“Are you really going to wear that?” Asks Maya as soon as she sees the outfit Michael has chosen for Christmas dinner.
“What’s wrong with this?” He gazes at his blue Under Armour shirt and jeans ensemble.
“Workout shirt, jeans and kicks, really? Why don’t you put on a nice sweater at least?”
“Baby, it’s just dinner at my house with the same fucking people I see every year. It's not like the Queen of England is gonna show up to have tea and biscuits.”
“C’mon, Bear, do it for me?” Maya pulls out her big adorable eyes and disarming smile.
“Ugh, alright, only for you.” Unable to resist her power, he easily yields and goes into his bedroom. From a drawer, he collects a dark blue fisherman sweater. Then he sticks his hand into the closet to pick up the vintage jacket she bought him for his birthday. To finish his new getup, he trades his sneakers for ankle boots.
Maya is taking out a dessert from the fridge that she bought this morning to take to The Berzattos.
“Wow,” her head turns when hearing his footfalls. “See, you look so much better now.”
“Yeah? You clean up pretty nice too,” he picks up her hand and makes her spin under his arm, capturing the stunning shape of her body hugged in a cream knitted dress that almost touches her knees. Right below, black leather boots cover the rest of her legs.
“Thanks, handsome bear.” After her spin, her head tilts to the side, capturing a chaste kiss from his lips.
“What’s that?” Michael points at the dish covered in tin foil on the breakfast bar.
“It's a strawberry tart.”
“You made a tart?” He lifts part of the foil to uncover the well-crafted pastry.
“What? Surprised that this tart made a tart?”
“Well, yeah. You almost poisoned me the last time you cooked.”
“You got me. I didn't make it. I bought it this morning when I took Coco out.”
Michael softly chuckles. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to bring that. Have you forgotten about pudding-gate? Donna's going to eat you alive if you show up with food.”
“Oh, I think that night was the first time I got drunk. I don't remember the details. But I do remember the pudding and eating a bowl with Carmy in the garage. Who brought it?”
“Uncle Jimmy's first wife.”
“That's right. She was never seen again after that. Okay, I guess I could bring a bottle of wine.”
“You're gonna make me look bad if I show up with nothing.”
“You could bring the tart, and say that you made it. I bet Donna will be delighted if it comes from the golden child.”
“That's a great idea, baby. It'll be a great distraction when she starts strangling me that people won't even notice this other tart.” His hand boldly squeezes her ass.
“Hey!” she swats his shoulder with the back of her hand. “I thought we agreed to keep our hands off each other.”
“I meant later. Here, I can still get a piece if I want.” He links his arms around her waist and peppers the curve of her neck with kisses, making her laugh with the coarse tickle of his beard.
“Oh, this is gonna be harder than I thought,” she whines when his lips nibble her earlobe.
“Yeah, tell me about it.” He laughs against her ear, gripping tightly at her hips. “I’m not sure how long I can make it without touching you like this.”
“Well, we better think of something…”
Ready to go, they hop in the car and drop Coco first at Maya’s house. While Michael waits in the car she collects a bottle of wine to bring for dinner.
It’s then that she gets jittery about the whole ordeal. It’s been years since she attended one of their functions. Christmas at the Berzattos was never a walk in the park, and as she has heard recently, they still aren’t. But she’s not the one to talk cause the Silvas have always had their own issues, proof of that is her desertion from her own family dinner.
“Okay, kiss me one more time,” she requests after parking at the end of the street. They both lean in to meet in the middle over the center console for a chaste kiss. “One more.”
Michael delves into her mouth a little deeper, hoping it’d ease her up.
As they walk up to the house, they pass Maya’s empty childhood home, and Michael just wraps an arm around her and kisses her hair.
“Their loss,” he mumbles. “Don’t think about them, Maybird.”
“I won’t.”
His arm unfurls away from her body as they get closer to the Berzattos’ house. When they reach the door, they stay there for a minute, filling their lungs with cold air as they muster the courage to cross the threshold.
The house is loud with people talking and laughing when they step inside.
Maya can see Michael's face changing as the door closes behind them. That raw vulnerability, his bashful expression he's not afraid to show her slips once again behind that mask he's fought so hard to get rid of. She can't hold it against him. Everyone has their coping mechanisms and this is Michael's.
She becomes suddenly the new sensation, everyone openly welcomes her as if they hadn't seen her in ages. Which is actually the case. She's bombarded with questions she doesn't really want to answer like — How are your parents? How does it feel being back? Are you seeing someone?
Mirroring Michael's, she just draws her best smile and tries to satisfy their curiosity while Michael takes a smoke break with Sugar leaving her to be eaten by wolves before she can protest.
To Maya’s disbelief, after the third degree, she’s welcomed with open arms by Donna Berzatto, who is just as intense as she remembers. Hair on point, makeup on point, fresh manicure softly scratches Maya’s jaw when she briefly holds her face.
“We've missed you, Mayhem Maya.” Donna actually coined that nickname after that incident when she broke one of her figurines when she was a kid. And she'd never live that down. It makes her feel like a child every time she calls her that or the way she manages to compliment her and patronize her at the same time.
“Hey,” she hears the familiar voice as Donna disappears into the kitchen.
Maya turns around to see Carmy climbing down the stairs.
“Hey, you made it,” she says a little hesitant, trying to decide whether to hug him or just shake his hand as he reaches the last step.
“You too.”
Hug. She goes for it and tucks her arms around his shoulders for no more than two seconds. It feels a little awkward and cold given their history but understandable. They're not as close anymore, and it doesn't come as natural as it used to. She tries to internalize that as best as she can, but there’s still something that doesn’t feel right. Maybe this wasn’t the best moment to show up back again into his life. Being Michael’s girlfriend, no less. Perhaps deciding to hide that wasn’t the best choice after all. It sounded reasonable when she chose that, but right now, it feels like she’s betraying him.
“How's Copenhagen?”
“Cold. How is being back?”
“Weird.”
“Tell me about it… Never thought I'd see you again in one of these functions.”
“Yeah, Michael insisted. You knew I was coming, right?”
He nods. “Sugar told me.”
They shoot back and forth meaningless questions without really diving into anything substantial. For the first time, she looks at his cold blue eyes and realizes they're not best friends anymore. She might have known everything about him once upon a time, but now it feels like talking to a stranger, and it breaks her heart not being able to pass that invisible wall between them.
Maya stares at him one last time as they are interrupted by the rest of the party. He’s dragged to a mindless conversation with Neil and Ted Fak, while Michelle brings Maya a drink and settles with her on the couch to catch up.
Carmy manages to escape the Faks and asks for some help from his siblings that were hiding outside.
Michael does another quick round before disappearing again somewhere with Richie.
“I thought you weren’t serious about bringing her.” Richie takes him to the garage where they open a couple of beers.
“I was dead serious. And please, don’t say anything. Tonight, we’re just friends, alright?” he gives him a menacing look.
“You’re dead for sure when Carmy finds out. Don’t get me wrong I love Maya, but is she all that? Is she worth the trouble, Cousin?”
“She’s all that and a basket of biscuits.”
Soon, Michael thinks. Soon everyone will know how much he loves her but for now, this is for the best. This is what she wants and he respects that.
When they go back into the house, Michael goes checking if she needs a break from socializing. Figures, she probably does as much as he does. She's not in the living room anymore, or anywhere on the first floor. He climbs upstairs and from the cracked door to his room, he finds her snooping around the bedroom with a glass of wine in her hand.
“Hey. What are you doing up here?”
“The bathroom downstairs was occupied, so I came up here, and I realized I never really saw your room. Was it always like this?”
“Kinda. It’s cleaner for starters. The walls used to be covered in Red Sox merchandise and movie posters. It’s all in the basement at The Beef now.”
“Traitor,” Maya mockingly squints her eyes before taking a sip of her glass.
“Why do you care, you don’t even watch baseball?”
“Yeah, but if I had to pick I wouldn’t even dream of going against my own home team,” she says, scanning a pile of CD’s on the corner of the desk and picking one from the middle. “Marky Mark, really? Who are you?”
“That’s Sugar’s.”
“Sure it is,” she laughs.
“This is why you came up here, to make fun of me?”
“Nope, I just like snooping.” She turns around and keeps flicking through those albums while Michael shuts the door to seize that as an opportunity to kiss her again.
“Hey, c’mere.” Quickly wetting his lips, he cups her face as it turns to the side and gently captures the flavor of her mouth soaked in white wine.
“Hmm, we’re a lost cause,” she says as his lips bounce a few times against her.
“I know.” Michael hums, unable to stop himself from going deeper into her mouth.
As she places her glass on the desk, his tongue swipes past her lips.
Michael moves his hands to her hips, as Maya links her arms around his neck, letting her tongue slowly play with his.
His mouth grows hungrier and desperate for more. She can feel it at the eager tip of his tongue demanding more action. He blindly guides Maya to the bed, and almost without breaking from the other, as she settles on her back, he pushes all the coats people left on his bed to the side. Michael lies on top of her, nestling between her legs, claiming ferociously another kiss from her mouth.
From zero to sixty, his hand slips beneath the hem of her dress and hikes the skirt up to her waist to grab her ass. He digs his fingers on her skin over her tights. He could rip the fabric apart in a second if he pressed a little harder.
Maya hums in his mouth, struggling to keep up with the burning passion he's pouring into her lips as the coarse texture of his beard scratches her face.
The setting is a little off-putting for her right now no matter how much she wants him and as his bulge hardens between her legs, she promptly puts a halt on.
“Michael, baby, shh. We can’t do this here.”
“We’re just making out. The door is closed.”
“We’re not just making out. You’re already hard. What if someone comes in?”
“There’s a lock on the door. I closed it.”
“The lock is not the problem. It's this place. This house.”
“The house is cock-blocking you?”
“Pretty much. Yeah. Let’s just take a breath and go back down. We’ll finish this later at home. See, this is why we can’t be left alone.”
“Okay,” he begrudgingly rolls to the side with a sigh, feeling a little disappointed to be honest and stares at the ceiling. “Is it the house or is it Carmy being here?”
“I don't know. Maybe both.” She leans on her elbow to look at him.
“I see.”
“It’s not like I don’t want to. I do. More than you know, Bear. I just feel weird about doing this right here. We said the other day that we should be honest with each other to make this work. And this is me being honest.”
“I know, baby. I get it. I just… All I wanna do is be with you right now. Can't stop thinking about you. That’s why this happens…” he gestures vaguely as his crotch.
“Now, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to give you blue balls. I know how much that hurts.”
“I don’t think you do,” he snorts.
“I’m sorry,” her palm covers her smile. “I really am. But I… I guess I could do something about it. Don’t move.”
Maya’s fingers glide over his crotch to undo his fly.
“Wait, are you changing your mind?”
“No, but I don’t wanna leave you like that either. Just trust me.” She shifts on the bed as her hand slides under the fabric to feel the pressure of his straining erection.
Biting her lip, she locks eyes with him as her fist curls around his shaft as Michael’s hand wraps around hers.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I wanna. Just because I can’t, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. Let me do this for you. Please.”
“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” he sighs, letting her hand move up and down his hardness.
“I know. Just relax for me. I'll make it quick.”
Maya leans closer to his face to lock her lips with his. His low grunts echo in her mouth while her fist prompts him to spill his early drops of arousal. They help her pump more swiftly. He has to bury his sounds deep in his throat when she parts from his mouth and moves her head down his torso so he can finish him with a blow.
“Fuck, Maybird,” he moans as her lips wrap tightly around his swollen gland. Her hand keeps a nice pressure at the base as her head bobs quickly to have him climaxing all over her tongue.
She cleans him up, licks her lips and makes sure nothing was spilled on their clothes before taking a long swig of the glass of wine on the desk to get rid of the aftertaste of his cum.
“God, sweetheart, that was…” he stands up and pulls his clothes together while she finishes her drink. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
“You better.” She collects a pocket mirror from her purse to check her makeup. As she moves Michael's jacket out of the way, something falls from its pocket — a round pill container lands at her feet.
She means to bend down and pick up, but she freezes. It's Michael the one to reach and grab it. Maya stiffens, stares at him as he quickly tucks in his pocket. Unable to process any thought at all, she pins that in her head to revise later. As she intended to do, she fixes her hair and makeup.
Michael should have left those at home. He didn’t even mean to grab them. It was just exactly that– a habit he can’t break yet. Especially on a night like this.
“Hey,” he says softly, holding her chin under his finger and tilts her head up so he can capture her eyes. “We'll talk about it later, okay?”
“Okay.”
She checks her face in the mirror a second time to make sure there’s no visual signs of her just going down on Michael before leaving the room.
Their hands are still linked together when they step into the hallway, and it isn't until they spot Natalie coming from another room that they quickly pull them apart.
So much for being sneaky… There's no way she didn't see that. The shock flashing across her face is telling.
“Michael, can I talk to you?”
“We should go downstairs before… Carmy can't handle all those people.”
“This won't take a minute,” she says firmly.
He glances at Maya, and they nod at the other.
As Maya returns to the party, Sugar can't help but question Michael about it.
“I don't know what you saw, but it's not what you think, Sug.”
“You came out of your room holding hands. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to put two and two together. Are you dating her?”
“Would you have a problem with that?”
“I don't know… It's just… She's Maya. She practically grew up here. In this house. She and Carmy were… you haven't told him, have you?”
“Nobody knows yet. Well, just Richie. But it hasn't been going on for long, and we just thought it'd be best to wait.”
“And you brought her here tonight?”
“I didn't want her to spend the night alone. Do you think it's weird, me and her?”
“I don’t think it’s weird. I… I guess it's a little unexpected. It just caught me off guard. If you had given me a warning…”
“You wouldn't be so shocked. I'm sorry. I wanna tell everyone, but it's all so new, and she's…”
“Maya.”
“Yeah.”
“Look, it's an adjustment, but if you're happy with her, then I'm happy, Bear. Does she make you happy?”
“She does,” he smiles bashfully.
When Michael and Natalie join the rest, Cicero and his wife arrive. Uncle Lee follows.
The delicious smell of food cooking fills every nook with the house and Maya's stomach rumbles under layers of wine. She desperately needs to soak all that alcohol before it's too late.
She goes into the kitchen to find Michael casually leaning on the counter bantering with his mother as she works against the clock, cooking those seven fishes that’s the staple dish of her house.
“You doing good?” He gives Maya a look as she props her hands on the breakfast bar.
“Hm-hm.”
“You hungry too?” He guesses and Maya only nods at his question as Donna points at the meatball casserole on the counter.
“Here,” Michael grabs one meatball from the casserole, dabs the sauce on the edge so it drips as he lifts it up to her mouth. His eyes light up as she carefully bites half of it directly from his fingers. Then he shoves the other half into his mouth. Smiling at the other, both thinking about what they did earlier as they fight the urge of eating each other's mouths again.
A beat after, Maya looks to the side to see Carmy standing by the door as Donna barks something at him. She swallows, watching people come and go out of the kitchen. The timer goes off as voices get louder all around. Maya helps herself to another drink in the middle of the whirlwind of chaos of the heart of the house while Carmy takes him upon himself to organize the mess of the kitchen against Donna's wishes.
“Ma, why don't you let him help you? It's all he fucking does.” Michael picks up another meatball and offers it again to Maya, but she declines this time.
“What was that?” Carmy glances annoyed at Michael. “Like uh, that was a shot or…”
“Wasn’t a fucking shot.”
“Mikey, he’s helping me. Back off.”
“Yeah, that was a shot.” Carmen states more sternly this time. “I'm the guy that does food. You're the guy that what? You-you, uh… You start 100 different businesses and have zero follow-through.”
“You’re the one to talk,” Maya rolls her eyes, taking a long sip of her wine.
“Yeah, what are you doing here? Thought you had a husband.”
“Wow. Leave her out of this, Carm. She’s here cause I asked her to.”
“It’s fine, Michael. Let Annie Oakley take her shots at me.”
“Okay, this is why I didn't wanna come home. This is why.”
“Fuck you!” Donna shouts.
“What the fuck? Why the fuck would you say that?” Michael raises his voice. “It's fuckin' Christmas. Why would you say something like that?”
“Whatever, okay? Whatever.”
“Maya, sweetie, can you bring some ice from the freezer in the garage?” Asks Donna in the middle of the argument, and she just silently agrees.
All their voices ebb as Maya disappears into the hallway that leads to the garage to grab some ice and pull herself together. She stays there for longer than she should, collecting her thoughts and checking her phone for all her friends and co-workers messages and sending some of her own. Her eyes pull away from the screen when the door swings open.
She tucks her phone in her pocket as Carmy climbs down the two steps into the room.
“What are you doing here?”
“Grabbing some ice.” She glances at the freezer where her ass is propped.
“No. I mean, why did you come here at all?”
She shrugs, folding her arms against her stomach.
“Michael invited me.”
“It’s pretty fucking weird, don’t you think?”
“Why? I used to come here all the time when we were kids. Hell, the first time I got drunk was right in this garage with you.”
“Yeah, that’s my point. You and I aren’t friends anymore, Maya. It doesn’t make sense that you’d come anymore.”
“You've made that clear but hey, you’re the one who stopped talking to me in the first place.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. I’m not psychic, Carmen.”
“Doesn’t really matter anymore.”
“No? It matters to me.”
“Guess I got tired of waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me? You’re completely delusional, you know that?”
“Am I? I thought you were different, but you’re just…”
“Just what? Are you going to call me a slut or something? You better watch your mouth.”
“No. You’re… reckless.”
“I'm reckless? For what? Living my life? Growing up? Marrying another guy?”
“Yeah.”
“I’d rather be reckless than be anything like you, Carmen. You think you're better than me, than anyone in here, but you're not. You're conceited. You've always looked at everyone down from your ivory tower like you've never made a mistake in your life. You said you were waiting for me? You had many opportunities to say what you felt, and you never did, why is that? Because you’re a fuckin’ coward. I’ve watched string along girls you weren’t into for longer than you should have. Anytime anyone has shown you an ounce of love, you’ve run the other way. You've shut down me and everyone out cause you don’t know how to love anyone but your self-righteous, narcissistic ass.”
“That’s rich coming for someone who’s fucking my brother.” His voice comes out deeply loud as Maya swallows. “You think I’m dumb? It’s written all over your face.”
Her posture stiffens all of a sudden. She opens her mouth to contradict his words, but she can't. It's pointless. He's chosen to attack, and she's going to stand and take blow after blow without throwing some of her own.
“You had your chance, Carmen, and you never took it. And the worst part is that you expected me to do something about it, but it really wasn’t up to me. I’m sorry I never felt anything for you… but I don’t think you ever loved me like you wanted either. You only thought you did cause I was there all the time. It was easy, right? We were friends. Best friends. And you ruined that.”
“So did you.”
“Yeah, we can agree on that.”
“It’s fucked-up, y’know?”
“What is?”
“You and my brother.”
“You know what’s fucked up?” She pegs him with a harsh twisted brow. “You. Coming here judging everyone and pretending you know anything about me or him. Say, when was the last time you said I love you just cause you wanted to and not because someone said it first? When was the last time you were in a relationship that lasted more than two dates? When was the last time you woke up next to someone and the thought of leaving them ripped your heart apart? I'd rather take risks and be called reckless than feel nothing, do nothing, say nothing at all, and turn into a bitter asshole like you.”
Maya walks past him and heads out the door without giving him the opportunity to respond.
As tears threaten to come out, she stops in her tracks and draws a fortifying breath to keep herself from falling apart. Though she knew sooner or later she’d have to deal with Carmy, that conversation was truly more difficult to deal with than she expected. She couldn't handle that better if he wasn't acting like an asshole.
Disheartened… Maya feels just at home. It really is no different from being with her own family. Next year, she swears she's going to take a trip or just stay at home with Coco, which sounds like something she should've done today. Coming here tonight was a mistake. If she could turn back time to earlier in the day and convince herself to stay at home she would.
In the never-ending night of riffs, she overhears Donna yelling at Natalie in the kitchen as she crosses the hallway. In the living room, Michael has everyone's attention while telling one of his stories. Every one seems entertained except for Uncle Lee that has to poke the bear as usual.
It feels like an eternity until dinner is finally served it doesn't get better once everyone is sitting at the table. No. Because, of course, there can't be a moment of peace, everything escalates from that point.
Maya’s taking a swallow of her glass when Lee starts telling the story about the seven fishes and the Dutch oven when Michael makes a buzzing sound and throws a fork at him. It hits his shoulder.
“Wrong answer.”
“Did you just throw a fork at me?” Lee's high-pitched tone breaks.
“I did,” Michael snorts.
They both start bitching back and forth. The tension strains harder after every word, every sentence interrupted, every thought unfinished.
She places her glass down as the animated conversation grows more heated by the second. The voices get louder. There's a countdown hovering over the table showing how many seconds are left for the bomb to go off. Maya hears the ticking in her head, or maybe that's just the sound of her own heart racing.
In the heat of the moment, Michael borrows a second fork from Fak and repeats the same action. This time he misses Lee's head by an inch.
Everyone tries to put off the fire before it rises, but Michael is too far gone into his own head, nobody can talk sense into him.
“Cousin, you're scaring the normals.” Richie nervously laughs.
“This is fine. It's nothing.”
“Mikey, can you hear me, buddy?”
“Not now, Stevie.”
“Cut it out.”
“Hey, look, here's the thing.” He leans back on his chair ignoring everyone. “You see, I can throw forks cause this is our father's house. My father's house.”
“Okay you have everyone's attention so go ahead, tell us a story we've all heard a million times already.”
“That's good Lee.” He laughs manically while Lee goes on a rant about him living off his mom and borrowing money from everyone.
“… I don't know what the fuck you're on, but if you can hear me through the fog, throw another fork at me, you're gonna get fuckin’ rocked!”
There's a long moment of silence. Michael scratches his beard and gazes to his side, where Maya is sitting trying to process the whole thing happening before her eyes.
“Hey, Maybird.” He says softly, and waits until she looks at him. “I just… You think I could just borrow that for one second…” he points at her fork.
“Michael don't,” she tries to say, but the rest of the table speaks louder over her voice.
“It's okay, baby.” It slips out as he picks up her fork. “This is fine. I’m fine.”
“Michael. Please don't do this!” It's Natalie's words that stand out over the others. “Hey!” She calls his attention and when Michael glances at the opposite side of the table and Sugar lowers her voice. “I love you. Okay?”
“I love you, too, Sug.”
“I'm begging you. Don't do it.”
He vaguely nods. But he's dead set on making everyone shift in their chairs as the ridiculous dispute picks up again.
The flames touch the ceiling, and there's nothing she can do to smother the fire.
Maya nudges his thigh under the table with her knee, and says his name softly, hoping it'd be enough to calm him down. But it's too late, he's already so riled up that not even her can't stop him from rising from his chair, fork in hand taunting Lee non-stop.
Petrified, she stares at the man she loves, the one who looked like a dreamboat when she woke up next to him this morning, turning into something completely different. The cracks of his mask can't hold any longer. Behind it, it all slips out. His haunted expression taking over the rough edges of his face, the sorrow in his eyes, and his tired voice, makes her heart hurt.
“Bear.” She resorts to a term of endearment, but there is no use. He's on a different plane now, guided by his addiction.
Her eyes well up as Lee keeps repeating that he’s nothing. She can see his gears spinning in a different direction and for a moment everyone stays still watching everything unfold until Donna comes into the room.
That only puts a temporary patch on the wound. It's only a matter of time before someone takes it away to let blood spill all over the table. Michael sits back down, pushing his hair back before clutching the fork again in his fist as Donna lights up a cigarette and takes a seat.
“What did I miss?”
“Nothing.”
“I missed something.”
“Uh, Stevie, Stevie's about to say grace, Ma.”
“Ooh, good, yes.”
“Go ahead and take it away there, Stevie.”
“I uh… I don't think…”
“Just say the fucking thing, Stevie.”
The tension eases up for those couple of minutes while Steve improvises grace. It all seems perfect for a moment, they all nod and smile a Steve’s kind words, but that countdown is still ticking down every last fucking second.
Everything afterward is a tableau of surreal events tangled together that would play in Maya’s head for years to come… Donna’s meltdown, Michael throwing the last fork, flipping the table and taking a more physical approach against uncle Lee, Donna losing her hinges and crashing the car into the house, the police attending the disturbance…
Out of all the memorable dinners she's had in this house, this one really takes the cake.
It's the shitshow of a lifetime that nobody will ever forget.
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Chapter 10: Basket of biscuits
It’s past the witching hour when all the voices, all the noise, all the sirens, and rumblings of his own thoughts quiet down in his head when he closes the door as he settles on the driver's seat. And at once, the only voice he wanted to hear the most echoes in his head with one simple word — his name. The fear in her tone haunts him. He probably scared the shit out of her after what went down. Staring at the ruins of the front of his childhood home, Michael turns on the engine and takes a final look before steering Maya’s car out of that place.
Maya left earlier, after the police took everyone’s statement. Though she wasn’t as drunk as he was, he begged her to take a cab back home. While Donna refused to leave the house, everyone eventually left as well. Michael stayed all the way through while they boarded up the hole in the wall as a temporary measure.
Sobering down, the road gets clearer the closer he gets to Maya. He can't stand the thought of her being witness to his frantic meltdown. All he can see now, clear as day, the utter disbelief and fright in her eyes when she was pleading him to stop. He should have listened. He should have held himself better in that situation. Drugs or not, there's nothing or no one to blame but himself. That was… Embarrassing. Even for him. He swore he'd never sink that low, that he'd never let anyone see that part of him. It was bound to happen. He lost control and everyone saw. And if he wasn't for Donna interrupting his act, he's not sure how far he'd have gone.
For a split moment, he blames it on something else taking over his actions, like being possessed by one of his demons. But it doesn't last long. He can’t continue denying the fact that he’s the only one responsible for his actions. Claiming otherwise would only delay the inevitable.
They say all roads lead to Rome, and if keeps driving in the same direction, he’d surely find the only possible outcome to this. It’s time to veer off the path and find that there’s more world to see besides Rome.
He has to find a new way, and she is the only thing that could save him from this right now. However, after tonight, it wouldn't surprise him if she was already thinking about kicking him to the curve. He would blame her.
Christmas lights and empty streets quickly take him to her house. He can even imagine what’s going through her head right now… but it’s time to find out.
He parks on the driveway and takes measured steps toward the front door as the weight of the world perches on his shoulders. He feels like shit and the biggest asshole in the world for breaking his promise.
The glow of the TV and tree lights shine faintly behind the curtains when he knocks on the door. He should have called before, he realizes on that spot. Or even just text her to say he was coming so she would know what to expect. But there’s not going back now.
She takes her time to open the door and when she does, he’s met with the reflection of all his fears coming true. It flashes across her face the disappointment and disgust and utter terror of what happened at the table.
“I brought your car.” He reaches out to hand her the keys.
Hesitantly, she collects them, and makes room for him to enter before closing the door behind him.
“I… You shouldn't be driving.”
“It's fine. Sobered out pretty soon after… Where's Coco?”
“Upstairs. Hoarding the bed.” Maya puts the keys on the console table as they stand by the staircase railing. “Is everyone okay?”
“Yeah, Carm and Sug stayed with her at the house for the night. Everyone else left. ”
“She wouldn't leave?”
“No, she locked herself in her room.”
“That's crazy.”
“Yeah, another Christmas at The Berzattos. Hey, but at least none of us got locked up.”
“That's not funny, Michael.”
“It wasn't meant to be funny.”
“I think you should go… You should've stayed with them.”
“I wanted to check on you.”
“I'm fine.” Her tone says otherwise.
“Are you?”
“I was about to go to sleep.” She’s already slipped into her pj’s and was just watching TV cause she couldn’t fall asleep.
“That doesn't answer my question.”
“What do you want me to say? Of course, I'm not okay. You lied to me.”
“What… When did I lie to you?”
She fights the urge of rolling her eyes and instead, crosses her arms against her midsection to keep herself together.
“You said you weren't using when you were with me, but tonight you did. Instead of coming to me and saying — hey I'm dealing with this and that, you straight up hid it, and then you just… went off. I thought we were being honest with each other.”
He hangs his head down as she tiredly leans her back against the wall.
“I don't know how to help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on, Michael.”
“There's nothing you could've done.”
“Maybe not but you didn't even give me the chance to. I'm really concerned about you and after tonight… I don't know… I'm out of my depth here. I knew it was bad, but it's worse than I thought… If you're not seeing that, if you're not willing to admit that… Then maybe we should take a step back and consider our options before going further.”
“Consider our options? You're getting cold feet now?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just…” she sighs in exhaustion. “You should go. It's been a long night. And I'm not in the mood for this.”
“If you're gonna break up with me, just say it. Don't wait till tomorrow.” Though it’d be the right decision for her to do, he can’t stand the thought of not being with her now that he’s seen what it is to have her in her life. It would rip his soul and heart apart to hear her say those words.
“I don't wanna break up with you, but I can see that you're going through something right now, and I think it’d be best to talk about this tomorrow or the day after with clear heads.”
“Okay, okay…” he says under a heavy breath, as he shortens the distance between them.
Michael cups her jaw, and places his lips gently on her forehead.
“Can I stay here tonight?” He tries to not sound desperate but it fails so badly.
“Michael…” He grabs his wrist and takes a step back to detach herself from his hold.
“Please, Maybird, I don't wanna go. I… I can’t be alone right now. I’d… I don’t know what I’d do…” There’s something brewing inside him and if tonight wasn’t bad enough, not being able to be with her would send him down to that hole of despair he’s dug himself.
“You're scaring me, Michael.”
“Fuck, I know… I know I’m an asshole. I just…” He frantically runs a palm over his beard as he keeps pleading. “I need you. Don’t make me leave. I'm begging you.”
Those words put her between the sword and the wall. As much as he loves him, as much as she’d want him to stay, she’s still shaken and would rather be alone right now. But she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if something happened to him because she sent him away.
Before she has the chance to reply, while she gathers her thoughts he dramatically drops to his knees on the verge of tears.
“Please. I’d do anything for you, but don’t ask me to go.”
“Michael…”
“Shh, shh, shh,” he grabs her waist, pulls her close, and links his arms around her hips, planting his full face on her abdomen. He swallows his sobs in his relentless ramble. “Please, baby, I need you… I’m sorry I lied to you… I’m so sorry that I'm scaring you… I swear I’d never hurt you…”
Her eyes brim with tears and unable to pull away she just holds his head protectively in her hands, threading her fingers in her hair to calm him down.
“You’re everything to me, Maybird. I know I’m a pathetic loser and that I don’t deserve you, but I’m fucking ready… just tell me what to do… I don’t know how to fix this… please just… let me stay…”
“Shh, it’s okay, Bear.” She’s so overcome by the love she has for him, she doesn’t have the strength to kick him out. So, she just gives up to his implore. “We’ll figure it out.”
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Michael’s breaking point came like the most unexpected Christmas gift he didn't ask for. He can't return it or exchange it for something else. It's only up to him to either throw it away and pretend it didn't happen or use that as the catalyst to his recovery. They say that sometimes you have to break down to break through. And he went down so many levels, that there’s only one option but to go up from there. No because he feels like he has to, but he'd do anything to stay with Maya, and he knows the only way to do it is to climb out of the dirt.
After falling asleep in Maya’s arms, he wakes up in her bed alone the next morning. The clock says it is 10am when he looks up to her night stand and from the feet of the bed is only Coco, keeping a close watch of him. Her tail starts wagging when he gazes at her and extends his hand to scratch her head.
“Hey, Coco girl.” His voice rasps as she climbs up closer to lick his face relentlessly, slobbering all over his beard. “Okay, okay, that's enough, sweetheart.”
He holds her close and scratches her neck to calm her down, as Maya’s measured footfalls make the stairs creak when she climbs up. He looks to the door and watches her as she enters the room. She's fully dressed and by the amount of layers she's clad in, it looks like she's been outside.
“Morning.” She smiles softly as she proceeds to take off her hat and scarf.
“Morning.” He props himself on his elbow while Coco jumps suddenly out of the bed and circles around Maya’s legs before leaving the room at once. “Went out?”
“Yeah, just went for a drive and grabbed some breakfast. You two looked so cozy together, I thought I should let you sleep a bit longer. You're not opening today, right?”
“No. C’mere, sweetheart.” He finds her hand and gently tugs on it so she would sit down next to him. “I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have come here like that. I thought I was…”
“Sh, it's okay. You already apologized, hon.”
“No. That wasn't me. That was fucking embarrassing.”
“Is this you now?” She tenderly moves his straightened hair away from his forehead and combs it softly.
“Think so.”
“You look better.” Her fingers keep gently peppering him with caresses all over his head and neck.
“I feel like shit.” He gets a hold of her hand and kisses her knuckles. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”
“No. I can’t really stay mad at you for long. You know that. And the good thing about all this is that since last night, I haven't really thought about being ditched for Christmas by my family.”
“Fuck, I'm such an asshole… I had all these plans with you after dinner… and I totally ruined everything. We didn't even get to open our presents.”
“It's okay. I promise. We'll try again next year. Maybe just the two of us.”
“You still think we'll be together next year?”
“I have no idea. But I'm hoping so… I want to.”
“God, you’re a fucking angel.”
“I’m not,” she laughs softly.
“Yeah, heaven-sent. You took care of me last night when you had your own thing going on. Not many people would’ve done that.”
Maya leans in and kisses his temple before wrapping her arms around his neck. She bathes him with love cause she’s not sure what else to do than to show him that she needs him just as much.
“How about we get some food in you?” She smooches his head and as she attempts to stand up, he curls his arms around her, pulling her down with him.
“Not yet, baby. Let's stay here for a minute. I'm not hungry.”
She relaxes in his hold and cuddles with him until his phone goes off.
“It's Sugar.” Maya sees on the screen. “Are you gonna pick it up?”
He vacillates, but he ends up taking the call while Maya dislodges herself from his embrace. She collects a tray and some food from the kitchen while Natalie tells Michael that they finally got their mother out of the house. She'll be at Nat's for a few days until they fix the front of the house.
“Yeah… I'll take care of it. See you later.” Maya overhears as she returns to the bedroom with his breakfast.
“Everything alright?” She sits down on the mattress, placing the tray in the middle.
“Yeah. She asked me to go talk to uncle Jimmy's friend. You know, the contractor? He said he could get it done fast.”
“That's good, yeah?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What's wrong?”
“I don't know… I just… how can I look at these people in the face after what I did.”
“Because you're Michael fucking Berzatto. And you don't take shit from no one.” She tries cheering him up. “Uncle Lee was an asshole. Nobody cares that you threw a couple of forks at him. They're worried about you. And I don't think anyone remembers what you did. Donna upstaged the two of you, I'm afraid.”
“How do you manage to put a positive spin on everything?”
“Someone has to.”
As much as he loves hearing her talk like that is time for a reality check. Besides Maya being the brightest light in his life from the past few months, the rest have been hell. The restaurant has been struggling for way longer than he’d like to admit and has become the biggest failure of his life. His dependency has only been exacerbated by the pressure he’s put on himself to try to fix all by himself. All the lies, the high expectations, and the way his family look up to him for answers and comfort have become a lead weight on him.
The Beef was an inherited mess that was passed down to him when his father died. He took it upon himself to carry the family business to keep the family afloat, especially since Carmen and Natalie were merely teens, and there was nobody else but him to provide for all of them. He always thought he’d had his own restaurant and part of that pipe dream was bringing Carmy along. That dream faded as soon as he got hit with the hard cold truth that managing a restaurant, even a sandwich shop wasn’t as easy as his father made it look. But to be fair the late Berzatto didn’t have the best system either. It was all back door deals and handshakes and fucking agreements with this guy and this other guy. It made him wonder if the old trio had some shady business going on. Even Maya’s uncle was involved at some point, he recalls seeing his name a couple of times in one of the accounting books.
To sum it all up, he was set up with a business that was already failing before got it. His optimism and passion could only keep him trying for so long. The last couple of years have been hell, and at this point he’s not sure if he wants to run it anymore. He’s toyed with the idea of burning it to the ground and starting over, or just selling it and walking away. But there are a lot of factors in play that are stopping him from doing that. Like disappointing his family or the people who work for him. And let's not forget the big question of what Michael would do if he didn’t have The Beef.
With a heavy heart he finally pours everything out to Maya. If someone can understand, it’s her. She knew when her life needed a turn and took it. He’s at the same crossroads right now, but unlike her, he doesn’t feel brave enough to do what needs to be done.
Maya draws a breath, absorbing every single thing Michael has laid out. It’s a lot to process, but her mind is already spinning ideas and questions that could potentially help him.
“You could sell and start over. The Beef is not your failure. It wasn’t even your dream to begin with. And I don’t think anyone will hold it against you if you give it away.”
“I guess I’m not ready to give up, you know? I don’t know what I’d do if I walked away now.” He shifts in the bed, laying on his side, placing his head on her lap while she plays with his hair.
“What about the restaurant you wanted to open with Carmy? It was all you talked about once upon a time. ”
“I can't bring him into this. He's better off without me.”
“He's not. Your brother is fucking miserable.”
“How do you know that? Did he tell you that?”
“No… but we shared some words last night, I don't want to get into the whole thing right now, but I could tell that he's not happy either.”
“Last night… He gave me this thing. It was a sketch he did about that restaurant… I just don't know how to make you both understand that I have no idea how to make it true. He's worked so hard to be where he is now…. I won’t be the one to keep it away from all that.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe you could learn something from him and that teaming up would solve all your problems?”
“Yeah, maybe. But I don’t want to take that chance. I won’t ruin his career. He’s where he’s supposed to be.”
“You know, you’ve talked a lot about not wanting to let everyone down and keeping everyone happy. But when are you gonna start taking care of yourself, Bear? All those people you’re caring for, they’re pretty much grown up. They don’t need you to keep holding their hand. Not Natalie, nor Carmy, nor your mother. And don’t get me wrong, the way you care for them is part of the reason I care for you… but at some point you’re going to have to care for yourself too. Cause I can’t keep an eye on you 24/7.”
“Did you go to shrink school or something?” He scoffs, glancing up at her eyes from his comfortable spot.
“No, I wish! It’s hard to put yourself above anyone else… I get it. But you’re going to have to, Michael. If you don’t, it’ll eventually catch up with you. The pressure, the pills, the need to please everyone…”
“What if it’s too late?”
“It’s not. I promise it’s not. I know it seems that way, but you, asking the right questions… That tells me it’s not too late. And the thing is that you don't have to decide anything right now. But hypothetically speaking, if you didn't have The Beef to take care of, and could do anything in the world, what would you do?”
“Well, If I could do anything, I'd stay in this bed, day, and night with you for a year.”
“Okay, let's say you've done that now. You wake up, get out of bed and where do you go?”
“I've always….” he pauses as the corner of his mouth pulls up.
“What? Tell me.” Her hand fists his hair without pulling.
“I've always wanted to buy a bike and drive across every state.”
“I could see you doing that.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Stop doing that. It's not an unattainable dream, Bear. You can do whatever you want.”
“Would you come with me if I asked you?”
“Hm, I don’t know… I’m not a huge fan of bikes. But I guess if I could follow along with my car and bring Coco with us, I’d go.”
“How about next summer?”
“Bring it on.”
“You know I’m joking, right?” He scoffs.
“I’m not. If you really wanna do that. Do it. What’s that thing you always say… Let one rip?”
“Let it rip,” he snorts and shakes his head, utterly amused by her way of messing up his motto.
“So, let it rip!”
“How? How do you walk away from everything?”
“You put one foot in front of the other and repeat.”
“Well, thank you for just describing walking, baby.”
“I’m serious, Michael. You take enough small steps and one day you’ll look back and won’t be able to see what you left behind.”
She holds his face firmly and dips to leave a small peck on his lips, then plants her forehead on top of his.
“I’d go anywhere with you. Would you?”
“Yeah, always.”
Michael’s palm slides along her jaw as his lips capture her mouth one more time. In this room, on this bed, he feels more safe and loved than ever before.
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In the evening, Maya takes Michael to meet the contractor who comes into the house to survey the damage. After that, they swing by Natalie’s to check how Donna is doing.
Maya stays in the car. Her choice. She’s not ready to have another Berzatto reunion so soon.
She’s listening to the radio when all of a sudden a tap on the glass startles her. She glances to the side and finds Carmy motioning with his hand to roll down the window.
Sighting, she turns off the radio, as the glass slides down.
“Hey, can we talk?” His breath manifests in the air.
“I'm not in the mood for you to keep jabbing at me.”
“I wasn’t going to… I just…” he props his forearm on the roof of the car. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. You were right about… well, about almost everything. I have no right to tell you how to live your life and shouldn’t have talked to you that way. I still think it’s pretty weird that you’re dating my brother… but I guess I’ll have to get over it.”
Maya swallows, staring at her hands curling around the steering wheel. It feels forced to hear him say that so soon, but not completely dishonest. He’s making an effort, and she appreciates that.
“Thank you for saying that. I’m sorry that you had to find that way and that I called you a self-serving asshole that doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I know you cared about me… I just…”
“Hey, I get it. We both said a lot of things we didn’t mean.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I don’t know… I couldn’t sleep last night and Sugar and I started talking, we were up for hours… I guess she knocked some sense into me.”
“Do you think we could ever be friends again?”
“I don’t know.”
“Could we pretend that we are just for five minutes? I need to ask you something.”
“I… I suppose we could. Can I get in? It's freezing out here.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Carmy goes around the car and hops into the passenger seat as Maya closes the window.
“What is it?”
“How's Copenhagen? Are you liking it there? Is it everything you ever dreamed of?”
“It's one of the best jobs I've ever had.”
“That's not what I asked.”
“I… I don't know what you want me to say… I guess I always thought I'd end up here with Michael… But I don't think he even wants me here anymore. Why are you asking me this?”
“God, he's going to kill me for telling you this… But hypothetically, what if he was in trouble and was too prideful to ask for help? What if he wanted to build that restaurant you dreamed of but wouldn't want you to give up your career for him? What if he was thinking of selling the shop but was too afraid of disappointing all of you?”
“Fuck, that's a lot of what ifs, Maya. Is that all true?”
“I can't tell you that, but if that were all true would you consider coming back?”
“You know better than anybody that all I wanted to do is work with him. If he asked, I'd be here in a second. But he's not going to ask, is he?”
“I don't think he's ready yet. I'm trying to help him as best as I can, but I feel like I'm not enough.”
“What do you think I could do if he doesn't want anyone's help… ”
“I don't know… he's too stubborn to ask for help. I'm just running out of ideas here… and he's looking at me like I have all the answers…”
“You think if I came back that'll change?”
“Maybe not, but if there's just a small chance that you were considering doing what you always wanted to do… if he saw that you weren't going anywhere, perhaps it’d point him in the right direction.”
“It takes guts to ask for help like that. And I'm not talking about him. I know you wouldn't be asking if it wasn't serious.”
“Yeah, like I said, if he knew I was telling you this…”
“I won't tell, if you don't.” He smiles softly.
“Thank you.”
“I'll think about it though.”
“Yeah? I'll keep trying too.”
As Carmy leaves the car, Michael comes out of the front door. They meet in the middle and Maya watches them quickly sharing some words before saying goodbye.
“Everything good here?” Asks Michael once he's taken his seat and closes the door.
“Yeah, we were just straightening some things up. I didn't want to tell you earlier, but we had an argument last night. It's all good now…” and she feels like an asshole for going behind his back, but if Michael is too proud or ashamed to ask for help, someone has to. She'd love to have all the answers laid out for him, but she has no idea what she's doing half of the time.
“He knows about us, does he?”
“Yeah, we weren't as careful as we wanted. Even Sugar saw. I mean… you even called me baby at the table. Don’t think anyone really noticed but… I guess it’s out now.”
“Does it freak you out that they know?”
“No. It was never about that. I just wanted to keep it just between us for a little longer.”
As they drive back home they toy with the idea of recreating the Christmas dinner they never go to have the previous night. They make a quick stop at a couple of places to gather some ingredients and scramble something together.
Michael has a lot of faults, but he's a natural in the kitchen. He feels right in his element when he's crafting a meal, especially when it’s for her. There’s no pressure laying on the counter, no bills to worry about, but the need to impress her makes him rise to the occasion.
After dinner, they exchange those gifts they put under the tree in her living room a couple of days ago. There’s a gift basket for Coco with toys, her favorite snacks, a blanket, and bathing products. While the dog is distracted with a chew on the rug, they sit on the couch to open theirs.
Maya’s gift to Michael is considerably bigger than what he got for her, which is a thin flat box as long as her palm.
“You want me to go first?” Asks Maya.
“Yeah, sure. Go on, baby.”
She’s kneeled by his side on the cushion, and he closely watches her hand unwrap the jewelry box that contains a dainty gold necklace with two twin pendants. Two small discs share an M etched on one side but are different on the back. One of them has the outline of a bear, and the other a dog paw.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it, Mikey Bear.” Her free palm slides at his nape. “Thank you.”
“Thought you could wear this one,” he points at the one with the bear, “and I could take the other.”
“Yeah, that’d be perfect.” She inspects the pendants for a bit longer before sliding the one with the paw on it out the chain. “We’re kind of an institution now, like M&Ms.”
“Or Eminem.”
“For sure,” she laughs at the same time she clasps the chain around her neck. “Are you gonna open yours?”
Michael nods and extends his hand to open the big wrapped box waiting on the coffee table. In it there's a record player set with speakers and a couple of Otis Redding albums.
“You’re the best, you know that?” He holds his chin on top of his fist for a second, mesmerized by how much he adores her.
“Hm, I’ve been told.” She smugly slings her arm around his lower back as he inspects his new gift and starts setting all the components on. “Wasn’t sure if you liked Otis, but it’s one of my favorites.”
“Yeah, I dig it. Everyone loves the king of soul.”
Tucking her palm under the hem of his shirt, she kisses his shoulder, as he carefully slides one of the vinyls out of its sleeve before placing it on the platter.
“I haven’t used one of these in a while, let’s see if I remember…” he thinks for a beat, staring at the levels and buttons as he figures out how to set it up.
“You know, there are instructions on the box, right?” She playfully scratches his back.
“Don’t need instructions.”
“Typical male response,” she scoffs.
“Look, it’s done.” After settling the needle in position he hits the on button and stares at the record as it starts spinning. It rotates a couple of times before the first track comes out of the speakers.
Michael curls his arm around her, pulling her flush against his chest as they lean back on the couch. Maya drapes her legs on his lap, pillowing her head on his shoulder as the ever so beautiful melody of These Arms Of Mine plays on the speakers.
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Maya tucks her hand in her jean's pocket to collect a keychain of a miniature motorcycle she got at the gas station earlier. “I also got you this when we stopped for gas. I didn't have time to get you a real bike in time but– what do you say, you wanna go on a road trip with me and Coco?”
“A Harley-Davidson? I don't think the three of us can fit here.” He dangles the keychain between his fingers. “But we'll see.”
Maya smiles against his shoulder as he kisses her head.
“Hey, can I tell you a secret?” His voice changes to a softer tone.
“Uh-huh.”
He knows this is far from perfect and that he's probably going to screw everything up at some point, but whether it's perfect or not, right here, in her arms, everything is like it's supposed to be.
“I love you, Maybird.”
She tilts her chin up so he can capture the glint of eyes. She doesn't say it right away, it takes her a couple of beats to build up the courage to say back…
“I love you too, Bear.”
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The End.
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bengiyo · 3 months
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Cherry Magic TH Ep 5 Stray Thoughts
Last week, Achi and Karan worked together during Songkran to figure out a marketing pitch. Achi got confused about Karan's relationship with a woman, only to learn that she's his sister, and also that sister has pushed them to live together for a while. Jinta continues to spiral about Min, and is now following his aspiring career as a dancer. We also learned that Rock admires Pai, and Pai has been shopping Achi and Karan for a long time.
Goddamn, Achi has been sick for at least two episodes now.
Look at this pathetic simp of a man potentially hurting his back to sleep next to Achi.
Damn, it always gets me how people just loudcap each other in Thailand.
I love Karan singing a love song to himself.
Something this version has captured well because of the long duration is that you can actually be comfortable around someone who has a crush on you when they're not forcing themselves on you. Karan may have complex fantasies, but he's not overstepping.
Jinta and Min continue to be excellent ports of Tsuge and Minato.
Achi, please don't regress every time Karan has a new thought.
I love that the manager is also a work mom to everyone.
I hope we get to see Karan throw murderous eyes at Rock.
Oh my god. Jinta wore sunglasses over his glasses.
Jinta is gonna strain something. I am praying for his joints.
Sing Harit was such a great choice for Rock because he's been flirting with boys in screen for ten years.
Newwie has a very good 'fond' expression.
I feel for Karan. It's hard being closeted at work and having a crush. Achi is also confusing him.
Poor Karan. Achi shared the food stall with Rock, too. Achi was not considering Karan's feelings there.
I wonder if there's a Thai media law requiring that characters wear helmets.
Jinta and Achi are so ridiculous. I love their dynamic.
I'm enjoying this new drama between Rock and Min. I felt like there should have been more explored history between Rokaku and Minato. This is really good angst between people who were close during a developmental period who then choose different things. Rock did hurt his friends, and he knows that.
Pai, I love you. She sees two cute men avoiding each other and her fujoshi brain demands they fix it.
I'm glad they mended this. Rock violated a Warrior's Bond and we needed to fix it.
Very much enjoying Min and Jinta.
Now, Achi, you are just making this man feel uncomfortable.
Oh, ho! Thank you for saying it, Karan. So looking forward to facing the reality of it being in the open
I continue to really enjoy the Thai touches to this story, and love what they captured exactly and what they chose to play with. I like how clear the mixed signals from Achi are affecting Karan, and I also really like deepening the history between Min and Rock. This is a solid show.
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chocolach · 14 days
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Quick random feeling in no particular order on those last 3 episode of wakfu. big spoilers ahead.
JORIS JORIS JORIS!! As a big short king fan, i am so glad Joris was given some time to shine, even if it was small. Amalia really got the shortest end of the stick here. I am fully aware that she get a lot of hate for her shortcoming but like... Girl lost her father and brother in like what? Less than a week? She's the last of her family and is now pushed on the throne with no time for her to grieve, what the hell. It would have made way more of an impact if they didn't spoil armand death by giving his name to the episode WHO THE FUCK AGREED TO THIS?!! They almost got me with eva's farewell, i would have thrown hand if they killed my fav. I also really though that adamai was gonna die too, with his eyes shining that ominous purple like armand. Yugo and Goultard teaming up for a fight was something i never knew i needed until i received it, what an awesome display of animation. I will eat that shit for weeks to come. I'm a bit mad that no effort were made in diversifying the other eliatropes. Like, really? All the samey same same? No hoods or size diversity? Not even other shades of purple? I know that the sadida's soldier received the same treatment, but with no sight of eyes beneath their hood, the eliatropes really don't feel like people fighting for their life. They are like clay soldier. No soul behind them. Okay, last rant. That last scene... It was yugo and amalia wedding right? The flowers, the white dress, the friends and family all smiling (some old characters sprinkled here and there too, nice touch, but where is my jojo?) Who let Yugo keep his pajama looking clothes on his wedding?? Even tristepin made some effort to look the part? Are you gonna tell me that YUGO, head-over-heels for his lady YUGO, agonizing for the last few years because his child body stopped him from having a romantic relationship YUGO, always having to prove that he wasn't just a child YUGO... Couldn't throw on a nice outfit for his big ADULT WEDDING?! HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN CLOTHES!! AT LEAST MAKE THEM WHITE!! ALIBERT RAISED HIM BETTER THAN THAT!! Also they made Amalia look really young in that one last shot of her face before the kiss and it threw me off a bit but hey at least they finally smooched good for them. Moral of the story is: Eva is alive so everything is well in the world. My crops have been watered by the quality of animation, I have been fed by the mere existence of Joris, and even Ruel stupid side storyline couldn't ruin it for me.
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chirpsythismorning · 11 months
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I think what really puts into perspective the likelihood of ST5 premiering in 2025 (I’m gonna predict March 21st for fun), is that a year from now is just barely Summer 2024, and yet as of now, they have not even started filming.
Are fans really expecting them to have season 5 filmed, fully prepped with marketing and promo ready, with everything ready to be released within one year from now (roughly speaking, give or take a couple months)?
In all honesty it's very much the norm for Stranger Things' to have promo leading up to an upcoming season last for months. And I'm not talking like 3-5 months I'm talking a year+.
This isn't like s1 where they put out a trailer and a release date and some low budget marketing roll out on social media, which is something they do for every new Netflix show. This is a $35 million + budget per episode series and thats just to budget for the literal episodes... There are dozens of partnerships they have going on with merchandise and things like that which are discussed and planned for months/years. There are music rights negotiations which go on for months upon years. Shit, post-production has the capacity to take, at the very least half of the time it takes to film, and in some cases as much time or even more. This shit takes time!!!
The build up to a new season is so huge, that each month leading up to it, there are different things dropping, creating the hype that guarantees millions of fans engagement for a long time.
Like 1 year up to the 6 months before the release, promo starts heating up officially. The main accounts for the show will start posting stuff, initially it'll be cryptic using old footage to kind of recap the characters and get us refreshed on where we left off. This time could have some really awesome surprises, but it's mostly casual. If we're lucky we can count on Atlanta filming paparazzi bc those people are insufferable...
6 months up to the one month mark is when it starts to get more real. At this time we're likely to get an episode list announcement, along with sneak peeks and teasers that are quite short, being that they're still likely in the editing process when they are releasing these so it's very much in part them trying to tide us over and keep us interested.
The final 3 months leading up to it is when it gets REAL real. This is at the latest when we'll get a release date announcement, but that's a worst case scenario. I feel like it took so long for them to announce s4, and not until like Feb 2022 bc they wanted to be certain certain. And that could apply to s5 as well. The state of the world isn't like awesome I would say... Look what happened last time? Like it sucks to be the person to say that but I think also considering delays in general, for any reason are a possibility, is also what contributes to my open mindedness about an early 2025 release.
And so based on what we should be expecting for marketing, that means that assuming s5 would somehow premiere in summer 2024, means we are already close to the one year mark, which means promo should be ramping up right now, with literal content to share? And yet we have nothing filmed...?
A lot of people have this idea that s5 is going to take as much time to film as s1 took, which is just not the case. Not saying it will take as long as s4 took, however it's still going to take a while. One of the main factors for this is an in demand cast with conflicting schedules. In a perfect world, everyone would be available all the time throughout the entire production run. Instead what you have is certain actors not available at this time, and so you have to overlap those that need scenes together and schedule according to all of that. And so even if it wouldn't take more than 7 months to film literally, adding another 4+ months might be necessary to accommodate everyones schedules so that they can have these A/B list actors be able to film scenes together.
And then there’s editing and VFX to account for, happening during filming yes, but also with them needing months to focus on AFTER filming is complete. S5 is arguably going to have more VFX than any other season, as most of the season is expected to be surrounded by UD conditions and with the final battle being pretty epic with a 3 headed dragon potentially. Editing is more likely to be 7+ months post filming AT LEAST, vs. like the 4 or less, which is what I think everyone is imagining and telling themselves.
This is also the last season and so they obviously want to focus on the quality, not their ability to churn it out as fast as possible. Rushing for a quick release is just setting themselves up to flop.
The story is over forever after this (excluding spin-off prospects). It would make sense for them to give themselves the wiggle room to make it perfect (the stakes are so fucking high you guys), as opposed to rushing the entire time just to have it release as early as possible.
This also reminds me of what Noah said when asked about s5 premiering in 2024, where he basically just deflected and said that they want to focus on quality… essentially hinting at the fact that it’ll probably not be soon as we’re expecting, but we’re better off for it bc it gives them time to ensure it's the best that it can be and also is just realistic in terms of considering potential unplanned delays.
And then there are the strike implications. While I think the ST production is lucky in that they wouldn't be impacted as much as other productions, that doesn't mean the solidarity won't impact other parts of the production beyond just the writers. This is an industry where people are extremely overworked and underpaid, where a strike could be on the horizon at any moment. And we’re out here telling them hey i know the conditions are horse shit, but I'm gonna need you to step it up and experience even worse conditions bc I need s5 asap... which is just, it’s asking too much if I’m being honest.
Not trying to rain on anyone’s parade here. I know it sucks hearing that it could be another 1 year and 10 months. But lets be serious right now.
All the action that happens in the fandom, building up to the release is arguably just as exciting as the actual premiere and I think we overlook that. Again, once it premieres, it's over. So being so hellbent that it comes as soon as possible, is built on this idea that getting it is the only worthwhile part of this experience, which couldn't be further from the truth. Hiatus and all of the activity that happens during that time is what makes this experience so unique and without it, none of us would be here.
I think realistically, the timeline for s5 production is likely to look something like filming taking place from May 2023-Feb 2024 (giving them AT LEAST 10 months, but if you ask me srs i think it'll take 12...). We should get an announcement post from the official Netflix/ST social media accounts the very day filming starts.
As time passes and they're filming more and more, we will start to get teasers and sneak peaks from the little bit they have filmed from the earlier episodes in the season. Technically they can't spoil that later stuff too much in promotion, so it does work out for us in that sense.
But in all honesty, well planned out and detailed promo is likely to not start getting official until this fall when they’ll actually have at least (hopefully) over half of s5 filmed, and be planning ahead plenty in advance so all of the promo leading up to the release is well thought out.
I won’t rule out Fall 2024. But there are no Friday dates in fall 2024 that ring any bells to me as being the perfect day? Maybe Winter 2024? Or like January/Feb 2025?
The problem is Netflix loves ST for their summers... But summer 2024 is too soon and Summer 2025 is too late imo...
So what it will likely come down to is them trying to be realisitic about their options, and how to ideally get it to match with the setting of the show, which is something they have tried to do with s2-3, but couldn't in s4 (for obvious reasons), and so I definitely see them thinking ahead to try to bring back that approach for s5 if they are able to.
So filming, best case scenario, ends maybe Jan-Feb 2024. If we give them at least 7 months, which is still arguably rushing to me, that lands them in September 2024.
BUT if they were smart they would be realistic and just plan for late 2024/early 2025 so that they don't have to keep delaying... also why they haven't announced a date/year... if it was for certain going to be 2024, they would say it. But they aren't. That alone should tell us they are not willing to make that commitment bc it's not something that can be made when there are so many impromptu factors at play.
I imagine a scenario though honestly, where it takes them a year (12 months to film), so they won't be done until May 2024, which means that they would have until January 2025 to edit with 7 months for that strictly. And that just honestly feels realistic to me to look at instead of hoping that everything just is swift and fast as possible.
Not to mention ST5 2025 just fits.
However, I don't see anything wrong with hoping for late 2024, since as of now I think it is still possible.
But I also think, keeping all of the factors in mind, most notably a potential strike and also them ensuring quality over a speedy release, I think 2025 is something people should also be prepared for as a possibility.
The good news is that we'll know eventually as s5 starts filming and as time goes on.
If filming is complete in 2023 then we could definitely hope for a fall 2024 release. If filming isn't complete officially until early/mid 2024, then pack up your duffel bags bc we're going back to spring break...
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professorhayforbreath · 3 months
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so episode 5. all my thoughts
we picked up where the last one left off, good start
annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me
annabeth being the one to see the fates... no
fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!
the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)
gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you
i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that
the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything
i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️
percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me
first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural
actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie
annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently
i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone
annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one
ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR
so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic
not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads
is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?
despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*
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BB Season 3 Trailer Breakdown
I am very excited, as you know, for the final season of The Bad Batch. Despite its ups and downs, this show means a lot to me and I adore the characters, particularly Omega and Crosshair. So, without further ado, here we go!
The trailer starts off with the Empire pursuing the boys on a turbo tank as they escape from some sort of facility (I think). Later in the trailer, we see the same tank firing upon the Empire while they head away from wherever they are.
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As Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair (he can be seen for a split second) realize that they can't get out of trouble with the tank, Phee drops in to pick them up, commenting "not exactly a stealth exit boys." This makes me wonder if the boys snuck in to get information on Hemlock or Mt. Tantiss. I also believe that this sequence with the tank chase correlates to the episode titled "Juggernaut." It makes sense to use a name meaning something big while the Batch are in a huge tank.
We then see some sort of transport (?) ship headed towards Coruscant. The next shot is of Rex and Hunter talking so maybe they're on the ship. Rex says that ending the war would mean that the clones would no longer be killed in battle. However, we see that's not the case; the clones are still used as soldiers, experiments, or left to die without a thought. The end of the Clone Wars only made things worse for them.
While Rex says this, we briefly see the palace on Teth, burning. I believe this is where we'll see Ventress as that's where we first meet her in Clone Wars. However, this is pure speculation because the only other place I can see her being is Dathomir. Then, we see a downed ship with two figures walking away from the wreckage. Based on the image of Omega desperately piloting a ship later in the trailer, I think she and Crosshair somehow managed to escape. Unfortunately, only Crosshair was able to actually get out. I think we could see this event happening between episodes 5-8.
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Rex then says he was wrong about the clones' fate before we get a brief flashback to the railcar incident and Tech falling to his presumed death. Rex continues on, saying "we can't just walk away" whilst images of an imperial occupation flash by. Citizens run away in terror so this could either be Pabu, found at last, or another planet in which the Batch travel to. Rex finishes by saying "not with the Empire imprisoning the kid."
Then, we cut to images from Mt. Tantiss, including post and pre-time skip Omega. Omega walks in and sees a broken Crosshair. Since this looks like the first two are seeing each other, I think these are shots from the first episode "Confined." Hemlock is shown next saying to secure Omega in her cell. There are two Delta Squad commandos behind him. Now, I'm not sure what Omega is holding in the cell, but it looks like she's being scanned. We also see Emerie looking somewhat unhappy. Hunter says that Omega's been waiting for them for a long time and we see her pre-time skip in a cell overlooking the outside world. Perhaps this is a privilege for cooperating? Hunter also says a "long time," so I'm guessing that it's been at least a year since season 2. Hunter concludes with that the Batch's mission isn't over yet.
The next several scenes show a ship being chased (maybe the one Omega is flying?) and what I assume to be a mirrored shot of Hunter and Wrecker because of their facial characteristics being flipped. Then, we see Palpatine with Nala Se and Hemlock saying that their operation is most important to the Empire's future and Hemlock will have everything he needs. My crazy theory? He wants to build an army of force sensitive clones. Will this come true? Idk.
The Empire is seen firing upon a ship (again, the one Omega stole?) and we get a glimpse of a new antagonist, the dark armor-clad figure commanding the TK troopers. While I Initially thought it was Cross because of the helmet design, I feel like that's backpedaling on this character arc so I'm gonna say it's Tech or CX-1, a new clone we see later. If it is CX-1, then it makes sense why we hear him say that the Batch will be hunted down. I'm not sure who this is but I'll be theorizing later. Speaking of that line from CX-1, we see flashes of Fennec, Cad Bane, and Nala Se. While Cad Bane will definitely be after then, I think Fennec will help because she's spotted on the boat when Hunter almost gets eaten by an alligator.
We later see in the trailer, Hunter on Pabu, Wolffe hopefully leading an early clone rebellion, and two clones running towards a big explosion. I'm not sure what's happening, but it could happen during the "Infiltration" and "Extraction" episodes. There's also a clone with a flamethrower so it could be during the same sequence. There's one shot of Echo walking towards... the Batch, Rex... idk. We'll find out together.
Wrecker, in true fashion, asks for a "real challenge" so I think we hear this in the episode "Paths Unknown." It sounds like the Batch are trying to get money or something to pick themselves back up. There are several shots of ships flying; to where, I'm not sure. Hunter and Wrecker are also getting ready to fight. We see the same two clones from earlier in combat and Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair aiming at someone. Hunter says they're not big on following orders. This is proceeded by more shots of Tantiss, TK troopers being attacked by creatures, and troopers being shot at. Hunter tries to hijack a gunship as well. Maybe this happens during "Flash Strike" or the other action heavy episodes. We'll see.
The trailer ends with Asajj Ventress, alive and well, swinging her yellow saber as blaster bolts fly at her. She says that she doesn't plan on killing "you," but "you're" making it very tempting. She might be talking to the Batch. Based on the shot of Hunter and Wrecker, maybe they ask her for information on Tantiss or she is hunting them down. Idk.
Anyways, that's all I have for now. I will be doing some theories on CX-1 and the mysterious imperial as well as what I think might happen based on episode titles and Palpatine's ultimate plan so stay tuned for that!
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inkblackorchid · 8 months
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I was gonna try to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. I just can't. I have to go on another Aki rant because I feel like I'm going to explode. It's about this scene:
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This drives me insane and I'm putting this under a readmore. Expect incoherent screaming, all ye who enter here.
Ok. Ok. I have so many issues with this scene. Specifically, with the way it develops later, when Aki's busy trying to figure out how to save a child from being swept up by a storm:
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And I just. Look, I think the fact that I already wrote a fic that basically completely turns Aki's reaction here on its head should basically tell you everything. But! But. Allow me to defend why I think this whole scene is one big heap of horseshit, with a bit of analysis of canon and actual evidence to back up my claims and shit.
The thing is, I have seen people give this scene a charitable read. I've seen people be happy for Aki to enjoy freedom from the psychic powers that have given her so much trouble in her life. And the thing is, if this were season one or season two Aki, I would be completely on board with that take. Unfortunately, this scene is preceded by the pre-WRGP arc. But more on that below.
Moreover, I can make an educated guess about what they were going for here (in terms of messaging, because this is a kids' show at the end of the day and messaging is something you have to be properly concerned with when it comes to these). I can imagine it running somewhere along the lines of "you don't need special powers to be a hero". Or even "you can grow past the hurt and/or the mistakes in your life and still become a good person or even a hero". And really, I wish I could believe that take. It's just. The writing simply doesn't add up. I wish it did, but it doesn't.
This is where we get back to the pre-WRGP arc. And not just that, actually, but the timeskip between the dark signers and pre-WRGP arc, too. Because the thing is, the last time we have seen Aki in anguish about her powers on-screen by the time the episodes above (108-109) arrive was during the DS arc, during the duel with her father, which happened during episodes 40-41. 40. to. 41. This was over sixty episodes ago at this point. And after that, that's it. As far as the DS arc is concerned, Aki's conflict about her powers is resolved the second she controls them for the first time when her father tries to interfere in her second duel against Yusei.
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(Yeah, remember this moment? That was literally the last time we saw Aki in conflict with her powers.)
And I know some people would argue "but what about the dark signer duel with Misty?". And yes, I get it. Misty does accuse her of having murdered her brother with her powers and Aki gets incredibly (understandably) upset about it. But the thing is, we know that's fake, and during the duel, Aki knows that, too. She goes as far as insisting that there were no casualties at the duel where Misty thinks Toby died.
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(Yes, I have screenshot proof for literally every dumb little thing in this show, why do you ask?)
It's only after Misty keeps pushing and backing her into a corner during their duel (and literally gaslighting her) that she begins to believe Misty's version of the events. Which is why this doesn't "count" as Aki being in conflict with her powers the way her second duel with Yusei does. At least not to me, feel free to debate me over this if you wanna.
Okay, but what am I driving at here? Fair question. Let me hop back to after the dark signers' defeat.
So, we know there's a half-year timeskip between the DS and the pre-WRGP arc (which was allegedly enough for NDC to connect the city and Satellite, deal with all the social issues that entailed, and also build a giant duel network, which I will never believe but I digress). Unfortunately, what exactly our main characters did during that timeskip is never addressed, it's just kind of there to segway immediately into the WRGP setup. So the only thing we can do is guess at what they got up to based on where they are as people by the time we get back to them during the start of the pre-WRGP arc. So where's Aki at when we see her again after the dark signers' defeat then?
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Oh, she's attending duel academy again now! That's nice. So that probably means the student body isn't scared shitless of her anymore and she's not being ostracised anymore.
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Wow, she's an exceptional student! That means she must be a really good duellist. So she got the hang of her powers, then?
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...Ah.
Do you start to see my problem? Past the DS arc, we are not being given any indication that Aki is still struggling with her powers or still resents them or herself like she used to. You could be forgiven for thinking that she's healed in the meantime. She's fine. She has accepted herself and can now use her powers safely. Which makes her later claiming "she no longer needs that cursed power" a bit... hmmm. And another thing. The fact that she refers to it as "cursed" rubs me the wrong way. After the defeat of the dark signers, she literally never does that even a single time before the moment in the hospital during the storm. (I'd post all the screenshots to prove it here but for one, tumblr doesn't allow it, and for two, I hope you'll believe I did my due diligence without it.)
And it just irks me. If the powers are still a "curse" to Aki by episodes 108-109, why give us the moment above?
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And why give us this moment, where she saves Sherry, Yusei, and herself with those powers?
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And why give us this moment, where she literally uses her powers at a public event to protect people, and is evidently not cussed out as a witch for it? Neither of these moments do anything to indicate that Aki still hates her powers. They don't indicate that she sees them as a "beast of burden" or necessary evil of a sort, either. On the contrary, I don't think it would be too out there to claim all these moments make her look rather badass. Like a small celebration of "hey, now she can finally use these powers for cool and not evil things!".
Yet, somehow, we still end up with episodes 108-109, where the writers expect the audience to buy that Aki was secretly still hoping she might eventually be rid of these powers after all. And maybe this would be easier to swallow if there weren't also the fact that they later literally go back on it to add to this confusing mess. Because the thing is, we all know the finale scene after the three-way duel with Sherry where Aki protects them with her powers (which have suddenly reappeared, aha!) again and also finds out she can use these powers to heal. So not only is the framing of Aki suddenly being glad to have lost her powers extremely weird, it's also temporary anyway!
So my question is. What was the point. What was the point of all this if the writers ended up going back on it anyway? Because I want to believe there's a reasonable, charitable explanation that also makes sense with what they show us in terms of Aki's characterisation past the DS arc, but if there is, I cannot for the life of me find it. If anything, this whole thing feels like it completely contradicts itself.
First, they tie up Aki's conflict with her powers with a neat bow after she manages not to hurt her father anymore. Then, they launch into the pre-WRGP arc and blatantly tell us that she can now control them. No questions asked. Indisputable fact, and we get nothing that contradicts that, either. Then, we get a bunch of setup showing her using her powers, too, and what's more, we get other significant players in the cast taking notice of it, too, as though it might become relevant. Because Sherry isn't the only one who gets curious about Aki's powers.
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(I will never understand how Placido's hood works together with his horn-thingies and have stopped trying at this point.)
The literal, central antagonists of season 3-4 also take notice of it. Like that means something. Like it'll come up again later. But, well. We know it doesn't.
Instead, she suddenly loses her powers out of nowhere (and we are never given a reason for it, either, which does nothing to make this writing decision seem anymore understandable). And, look. The thing that upsets me most about this isn't even the fact that it feels a little inconsistent with Aki's character post DS arc. If that were the only problem, I could still suspend my disbelief far enough to go along with the idea that she secretly still hated her powers quietly in the background and wanted them gone anyway. What really pisses me off is that it reeks of zero setup and knee-jerk decisions in the writing room ten miles against the wind. If they wanted us to believe Aki's glad to be rid of her powers, why give absolutely no indication that she's at odds with them past episode 41 anymore? Why let her state outright that she can now control them? Why show her on several occasions using them to her own and other people's benefit, the way a hero would? And if her powers are supposed to vanish and it's supposed to make sense, why is there no reason for it? They already used cyborg timetravel at that point, they could have literally come up with any nonsense related to that and it would have probably made at least more sense than just letting her powers vanish for no reason at all. Also, if the message behind all this is supposed to be either of the things I mentioned way above—if the idea the audience is supposed to be getting is either "you don't need special powers to be a hero" or "your past and/or your mistakes don't define you and you can heal and grow past them"—why reintroduce the powers, which, in this reading, would be a symbol of Aki's pain, of her mistakes and her dreaded past, at the very end, during the finale, then? It just doesn't add up, and it frustrates me to no end.
The writers wanted to make the moment Aki realises she can help people (well, one person, a child) without her powers seem triumphant so bad, but every time I watch it, it just completely falls flat for me. This isn't a triumph, this is a hot mess of bad writing decisions. All I'm saying is, if they wanted me to buy that Aki would be happy about losing her powers here, they were missing a hefty amount of setup and also shouldn't actually have given them back to her during the finale (no, not even as healing powers).
Moreover... I'll freely admit I also have a personal problem with this scene. I've seen this show and these episodes several times by now, and during my last rewatch and my current one, something about this scene has been creeping up on me, and I think I've figured out what that is now. So I talked about the possible message behind this scene already, and the reading I've given so far was fairly forgiving. But the thing is, there is another reading that has occurred to me that I can't unsee anymore. As much as you could make a valid case that this scene is trying to say that people don't need to be special to be heroes and save others, that past mistakes don't define us, and yadda yadda, there's also a much, much less pleasant way to interpret this scene: "You're better off if you don't stand out." And I'll freely admit, this interpretation probably occurs to me specifically because I was considered a "weird kid" at school, singled out by bullies, and avoided by "popular" kids (take a wild guess why I relate to Aki so much!). And over the years, you learn to downplay that "weirdness" because you become desperate to be accepted by someone, anyone. And given everything the show gives us about Aki's relationship with her powers, it'd make sense that this idea would be buried somewhere in her head, too. It's better not to stand out. Don't be weird. Sand down your edges so there's no chance people could get upset about them. You're better off being whatever everyone else considers "normal" than being whoever you are. It doesn't matter if this is a part of who you are, just become someone else. Someone who's easier to accept. Who's easier to love. You don't need your "weirdness".
You don't need this cursed power.
You know, the "cursed power" that Aki had from the beginning of the show, that was a part of her for years, and that the show didn't give any indication could vanish. The power that we were led to believe would just be there forever, because it was simply a part of Aki, not a conscious thing she (or the narrative) could choose. The power that we were, for all intents and purposes, led to believe she had mastered and maybe even accepted along the way. But sure, let's get rid of that. It's better if she's """normal""". And more convenient for the writers, too! After all, if she doesn't have powers anymore, they can't cause plotholes (of which the WRGP already has enough) and can't possibly give Aki any more badass moments, which makes it that much easier to sideline her. And let's package this weird, shittily set-up moment in a message about how she's better off without her powers anyway. She's happy! It makes complete sense that she's happy. She's finally normal like everyone else. Ignore the way people who might relate to the character could possibly interpret this moment differently. And ignore how none of the writing surrounding this moment makes sense.
...Sigh.
Okay, I think I've let off enough steam. I just. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I cannot for the life of me view this scene in a favourable way and watching it today made me want to chew glass tbh. My only solace is that they went back on this trainwreck writing decision in the finale. Which, really, just makes this whole mess really, really pointless, doesn't it?
For anyone who stuck around this long, thanks for reading. Sorry if this got extra-rant-y. Idk man, I just think “it’s worth the effort to accept yourself as you are, even with all the bits you might not like at first” would have been a better message than whatever this turned out to be.
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ultraviolet-cello · 2 months
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I'm gonna be honest guys, I looked at today's episode and was like Oh No because Episode 9 is my Achilles heel. not that there's nothing to say about it. But that there's so much To say abt it lmao. While 6 & 7 are my favourites, Knives is a character that I see soooooo much like. I need to put him under my microscope.
Anyway, today's analysis/detail watch/@tristampparty is episode 9 - Millions Knives.
Spoilers for Trimax and Tristamp, CW for uh. Knives in general, and enjoy!
It's probably just the angle here, but Knives does look marginally shorter in this shot, and it's extremely funny to me
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Okay I did just get jumpscared by being in dub for some reason I was looking for the subtitles and heard English and had The Most dramatic reaction. okay we're normal now.
Knives,,,, Knives Knives Knives,,,, so I, once again, think that the narrative is working against him. It's interesting, then, I guess, that he's the only main character in Tristamp who doesn't get the portrayed-as-younger treatment in Tristamp.
Knives here is experiencing things that Trimax Knives only did way way later; the last run in particular. Trimax Knives witnesses a last run and starts fusing with other Plants midway through Trimax. This scene in Tristamp, however, takes place just 5 years after the Big Fall.
Trimax Knives ends up like he does by spiraling very very quickly after he starts fusing (And he was dead/in a coma for 20 years!); Tristamp Knives, however, has had at least 145 years to build up his power, build up his hatred, go down that spiral. No 20 years of being dead, just alllll that.
In that respect, Tristamp Knives is Trimax Knives taken to the end of that spiral, the extremist endpoint that Trimax Knives never quite achieved because of Vash - he never really had the time to reach the end of the spiral and settle in it, whereas Tristamp Knives has had that going for again, 145 years.
It's a fun inversion of what's going on in Trimax actually - the 20 years between July and the present are what gives most of the main cast their development and personality - They've had the time to develop those coping mechanisms, trauma responses, their characterizations past all the traumatic things that have happened.
Trimax Knives isn't present for those 20 years, he's down and out for the count. So that 20 years of Important development does not apply to him, making him the least Progressed character in Trimax actually.
So to have Tristamp Knives be the inversion of that is really fascinating, because it applies to how extremist he's willing to go, and how,,,, Bad[tm] the actions he takes are.
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Some Knives characterization things that I see criminally overlooked are that,,, well, Vash struggles with empathy sometimes, but Knives often feels things far too much, as in a hyper-emotive or overstimulated state (he's autistic ur honour), which is what contributes to his overall spiral - he's so emotionally driven that he doesn't recognize the emotional weight behind his decisions anymore. I don't think he knows quite how much his grief and anger contributes to how he says he hates Rem. He doesn't really explore that but instead just turns it into motivation for himself.
Anyway him feeling things Way too hard is an entire mood and Studio Orange did an incredible job with his expressions.
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Like for example, in this sequence he looks like he's about to physically Gag in response to seeing the Plant die
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Or this one, where he looks like he's about to cry but shoves his hood over his face hurriedly in case he does. Daily reminder that Knives was the kid who cried a lot
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So Vash steps in in the middle of Knives' little breakdown, but he hasn't really Seen that breakdown. To him, Knives is immediately just spouting about how humans are so bad, but from Knives' POV he just watched his sister die while the humans who surround him are unapologetic and uncaring. And that's gotta be devastating for Knives, because Vash really does not understand the context of the situation here. I think that gets to Knives a little bit, and unpauses his breakdown.
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The other thing that really cements the Absolutely God Awful Time that Knives is happening is the guards going to grab him. We've already seen Knives be relatively adverse to touch (looking uncomfortable when Rem grabs him), and now he's having a really bad day, he's experiencing Trauma^2, and people just Grab him? Not to be dramatic but I understand the urge to start killing
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But he also,,,, doesn't resort to violence first. He literally appeals to everyone's sense of heart, he points out that the Plants are crying out, can't you hear it? And then nobody listens, nobody comes to help him, and at this point there's probably a lot of fear.
A bunch of humans have turned up who are,,, apparently happy to exploit plants, conrad knows he's a plant, and he's being restrained by several people. That's a really scary position to be in, especially if you happen to have seen what happened to, oh, I don't know, Tesla?
Self-defense, in this case, would surely be justified to him.
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Also the scene of Knives attempting to get Vash to shoot someone with a gun is a 98-only detail which I love actually - 98 has its moments, even if it's only 3rd in my Top Triguns list! (I love 98 to be clear, I just like Trimax and Tristamp more)
Vash tells Knives that he lost Rem because Rem was protecting Vash, and That's Not A Great Thing To Hear. Knives loved Rem very much and now Vash is telling him that yeah, she's dead because of him. Which he'd definitely known before, but it's such a gut punch to hear your own brother say that, scream it in your face even. Your mother is dead because of you. She was only protecting Vash.
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And again, that too much emotion spills over into just inescapable grief and rage that goes into violence and taking it out on Luida which. Yeah. Yeah.
Tristamp fascinates me in that Knives actually has a genuinely good reason to amputate Vash's arm - he's in a haze, and he needs to think quickly, nobody else can do anything, and if that arm goes off it could evaporate everything in the immediate vicinity. So yeah chop chop. It's not a great solution, of course, but it's the quickest one he's got, and also starts desensitizing Knives to violence he commits against Vash. Because, of course, if this one piece of harm had saved Vash's life (which it probably did), then everything else that Knives does is also saving him, right? Right?!
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Why does Vash get like. B cups in this scene and only this scene. Top ten questions science can't answer /j
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Godddd okay Meryl and Roberto's reaction to seeing plants is,,,, It's nice, actually. I like that Roberto gets to see hope and flora before he dies. I like that the last positive, lovely thing that he gets to experience is the hope of the world. Even if he denies it.
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God, Knives telling Vash that he's the reason for the big fall really did a number on him huh. The man is powered on 17 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality
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worms took her tights can't have shit in noman's land
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Roberto also cracks a lot of jokes all the time I miss him. He's so deeply unserious half the time and the other half he's mysterious as fuck. Love this guy. But also the fact that he does try to,,, make the situation better for Meryl by joking with her is very sweet.
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Wolfwood has. 0 experience in riding a Thomas because he was never given transport again,,, Why waste fuel and animals when the Punisher can just walk the desert himself? He's not human enough to die of it. ghrngrhgnrgrngrnnnnn
God that's gonna be so good when he gets Angelina though. His own transport,,,,
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Zazie doing the lord's work by putting Aotearoa New Zealand front on the Worm Globe, we're so often left out of maps lmao
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Alright I have spent some time condensing that Knives rant and it's still. a Lot lmao. Anyway that was my Normal-About-Knives episode, next is my Normal-About-Roberto episode, which I'm super hyped for! yippee!! yay!!!
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18 on the choose violence 😏
EDIT: As y'all may have guessed, my queue I was saving drafts of these in was running last night and I forgot to switch the time over so here's the real answer.
18 - It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: you want me to CHOOSE?!? You expect me to CHOOSE just ONE character from Sandman that the fandom sleeps on?!?!?!? Oh, jail for 1000 years - well let me spin the roulette wheel Rose and Jed.
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ROSE. God I'm emotional about her. She's been through so much, the loss of her baby brother with a father who it's implied was not the nicest, lost her mother and her best friend in the same year, and she nearly destroyed the world but yknow what, she literally did nothing wrong here. She called Dream an asshole and totally got away with it. She's got gay hair and gayer friends (fellow bi!Rose truthers anyone???? Hello??? Someone else please discuss, queer people do all tend to flock together) and I hope she gets everything she wants.
I really want to explore the possibilities of a growing relationship with her and her immortal family sometime. Morpheus isn't just going to forget about her and Jed and him looking out for her baby brother is the only way I can see her kind of starting to warm up to him again. Like I WANT to see that weird tense but possibly loving relationship explored. Dream clearly respected her intelligence and wanted to give her more information (even if he was also using her to find the Corinthian which. Not cool).
(Also I think she'd go NUTS for the library of Dreams. Like she's a writer and suddenly she's seeing all the books never published?? Who wouldn't want to read them all?)
I have feelings about the parallels between her and Death. Plus I have a hc as some of my friends already know, that in one of Rose's low moments Despair finds her and something about the fact that this girl is family tugs at her. She has her function and her duties but she also has a sense of loyalty. So that could cause some seriously juicy potential internal conflict for her AND Rose honestly kind of needs an outlet for her bottled up grief and the weightof responsibility she feels. For Jed, for Lyta and her son...feel free to ask or dm me if you want to know more this post is already long enough xD
(And the fact that in a series where she's ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS for multiple episodes of this series she gets so much less attention ON HER OWN SELF - I'm talking art and fic overall PERIOD, let alone stuff where she gets any interiority of her own or her character taken seriously is just. I don't even know man)
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jED. My precious baby boy my son. I want to give him a hug. I want to wrap him in a warm blanket and give him cocoa and as much popcorn as he wants. Dream's reaction to Jed was in fact channeling me. This kid has been through too much and he deserves to live a happier life with his sister, so thank God he's gonna get it.
(But also does anyone wanna talk to me about the fact that Jed is a possible candidate for Dream's successor when he's older and might be even more viable than MASSIVE COMIC SPOILER ALERT Daniel Hall and all the ways this could complicate things HELLO.)
Miranda Walker - either the gif search function is broken which isn't beyond the realm of possibility here, or I couldn't find one gif of her in this show. And I KNOW people have made them I just can't find one...sigh
But I really want her to get more attention because her story is so potentially fascinating even if she barely got any screen time. Like this girl is the granddaughter of Desire, that must've massively impacted her life. I want to know how she dealt with the relationship with her children's father going sour and him taking Jed away and her struggling to raise her kids.
And last but certainly not least drumroll please...UNITY. That's right we're giving the whole Walker-Kincaid family some love!!
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HER. The queen the legend the moment.
Her story man...it gets me emotional every time. She could've had a life in the waking world. I really want to see more about what her dream life (which we know she experienced as real, with time passing and all, because of the things she said about it) was like. Even without Desire, how did she handle basically growing up in Wonderland surrounded by dreams? (I can't take credit for the Alice in Wonderland vibes that was @violetoftheendless 's great idea.) Did she make friends and a new found family there? Did she see signs she didn't understand at the time of dreams and nightmares falling into chaos and eventually leaving the realm in a slow trickle?
But also she's just such a genuinely lovely person. She took Rose into her heart without a second thought and was prepared to take Jed - I'm sure she didn't know how much more time she had but she knew she didn't have forever, and she wanted a family again and she'd lost her own parents long ago and never gotten to say goodbye...and the kicker is, unlike in the comic where she's basically on her deathbed already, she COULD have possibly lived a little longer. But she chose to sacrifice her new life to save Rose's. If this woman doesn't deserve the Spirit of Love label like I've seen in some truly beautiful meta from @windsweptinred I don't know who does. BUT ALSO she's not a perfect inhuman angel either, she is capable of being charmed by the Corinthian, which - looking around at the fandom, one can see she's not alone so I for one can't blame her too much, but also she met the king of dreams and nightmares and within less than 5 minutes called him a himbo to his face. She's beautifully human with icon behavior and Sandra James-Young deserves all the credit in the world for this role.
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genericpuff · 7 months
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Alright, update on the tablet situation, I do NOT have good news but there are some silver linings.
First off, thank you all so much for your patience. That one week I took off to relax seemed to be an invitation for the universe to fuck with my shit because my tablet literally chose the worst time to get on my nerves ( This is totally not something I'm gonna bring up with my therapist as proof that I'm not allowed to rest /s) I've tried just about everything to get it working again, I got a replacement 3-in-1 cable and even that didn't do anything, so I've ordered in a new pen, but that's not due to show up for another week or two.
However, I do not want to wait a week or two on the off chance that a new pen even solves the problem.
So the GOOD NEWS in all this is that I do still have my iPad. It wasn't setup with Clip Studio Paint because I own a perpetual license for my PC, but seeing as how now I can't use it on my PC (at least not with my tablet pen) I've gone ahead and setup the mobile version on my tablet, thankfully I got a discount because I already own a perpetual license but it's still gonna cost me $10/month so that's yet another subscription to slap on the 'ole credit card.
Now that does mean I have to go through the painstaking efforts of moving everything from my PC onto my tablet, but thankfully that issue is easily solved with cloud backups and transferring. Really all I need to be able to do is draw, I can still do speech bubbles and text input and texture overlays and all that post-production stuff on my PC, but anything that requires actual drawing I'm gonna be using my iPad for. So please, don't mind if you notice some weird little art differences between Episode 30 and 29, I'm adjusting to a new workflow! It shouldn't be too bad because I'll still be using the exact same brushes and textures and all that fun stuff that I do on my PC, it just comes with the adjustment of drawing primarily on iPad, which I don't normally do (I usually only draw on my iPad for tattooing and that's in Procreate which I still suck at using outside of lineart LMAO)
This is a very stressful situation that I'm hoping will only be temporary until I get that new tablet pen, and if THAT doesn't solve the issue, then I'm gonna have to start shopping for a new tablet entirely, and that's not something I can do immediately because I'm already starting to struggle financially due to the slow season creeping in at work and I'm still paying off that new PC I put down on layaway (which I'm regretting already). All that said, if you want to help a pal out, please consider tossing a dollar or two at me on my Ko-Fi, it's all gonna go towards a new drawing tablet if I need it (and if the pen solves the issue, then you'll be helping me stay afloat so I can keep bringing you guys the good shit LOL)
What's wild is that in all my Google searching, I found a thread from two months ago with literally the EXACT same issue, under the exact same conditions, in which OP's tablet pen unexpectedly stopped registering with their Huion Kamvas 22 Plus that they had owned for two years. According to them, it did start working again, after resetting the PC and re-installing the driver over and over again, but I've already done that myself a ton of times and I'm tired of being let down and that doesn't seem like a "real" solution beyond luck, so I'm gonna take a break from doing that while I get my iPad set up. I have the sneaking suspicion this might have to do with some recent Windows updates that just rolled out, my PC had definitely gone through a couple leading up to the malfunction. This wouldn't be the first time Microsoft has fucked with my tablet functionality so I literally wouldn't be surprised if it was something like that. Either that, or the '2' in Kamvas 22 stands for "will only last for 2 years before stopping entirely" LOL
Anyways, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding through all this. While I don't want to have to reduce the quality or frequency of what I put out for you guys due to technical issues, I also don't want the comic to stop entirely, so if this turns into one of those desperate situations where I'm delivering you guys episodes of Rekindled drawn on a Nintendo DS, so be it. I'm not gonna let this beat me.
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raaorqtpbpdy · 2 months
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Brotherhood (2)
Directly following the events of Double Helix, Danny enrolls in Bayville High school and joins the Brotherhood of Mutants. He's not sure if they actually believe he's a ghost and not a mutant, but at least they don't care enough to challenge him on it, and that's good enough for him. This is a direct sequel to Double Helix (linked above), and some parts may be confusing without the context of the original fic. I suggest you read that first.
Written for @crossoverdanuary Week 2024, Day 5: The Owl House X-Men Evolution | Shell
I have seen exactly two episodes of The Owl House, and that was like four years ago or something, so I was not confident in my ability to write a crossover for it. Also, from this chapter on, it's unedited and I'll come back to edit later. I just want to actually finish this fic tonight.
I tried to work in a theme of both Danny and Wanda "coming out of their shell" throughout the fic. You can also read it on AO3.
Chapter 2: Transition
[Warning for mental institutions]
"You guys got any plans for the long weekend?" Lance asked as he sprawled out on the shabby couch in the board house. "Kitty told me she and some of the X-dorks are going on an educational retreat to the California redwoods. They decided on it yesterday. Can you imagine being able to just up and fly to the other side of the country on a whim."
"And for educational purposes, yuck!" Toad agreed. "If I had my own jet like they do, I'd go to Vegas!"
"If you could afford a jet like they have, you wouldn't have to go to Vegas," Lance said. "You'd already be rich. If I had my own jet, I would use it to go to all the concerts I'd normally miss because they're too far away."
"I don't need a private jet to go wherever I want," Pietro bragged. "If I want to go to a concert, I'll run right in past security and no one will even know."
"And if that concert is in Europe?" Lance asked. "Or Asia? You know, across a massive ocean? Can you run there?"
"Okay, point taken, but why would I wanna go to a snooty European concert anyway?" the speedster scoffed. "What about you, Danny?"
"What do I need a jet for? I can already fly," he said. "Not that I use it for major travel much. Maybe I should. That's what my cousin does. She flies all over the world."
"Hey! We should do something fun this weekend!" Toad declared. "Maybe sneak into a concert, or go somewhere cool! Show those X losers we know how to have a good time while they use their fancy private jet to go learn things."
"Sure, I'm down," Lance agreed.
"Sorry guys, I'm gonna pass this time. I actually do have plans this weekend," Danny said. "I'm gonna fly upstate and visit a friend. I haven't seen her in a few weeks."
"Her?" Pietro repeated with a smirk. "This wouldn't happen to be a girlfriend would it?"
"It's not like that," Danny said. "She's a friend. She's a girl. That's it."
"Uh-huh... sure," Toad said, sounding unconvinced. "You dog."
"Lay off," Danny said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, we gotta get to school. Long weekend's not here yet."
Toad groaned.
"Buck up, we've only got one more day," Lance pointed out.
When the long weekend finally arrived, Danny filled his pockets with all the things he wanted to bring, said good-bye to the Brotherhood, who barely acknowledged him as they argued about what to do that weekend, and took off. He flew north, toward the mental institution. It had been almost three whole weeks since he'd last been there, but he remembered the way.
Honestly, he hadn't expected to go back so soon, and Wanda probably wouldn't be expecting him either, but it wasn't like he was gonna be an inpatient this time. He would turn invisible and pop into Wanda's room to hang out with her. It hadn't even been that long, really, but he missed her.
Thinking about her in that room all alone again, without anyone or anything to distract her, it almost made him regret leaving in the first place. He should have been more considerate. Even though she said she'd be okay, leaving just because he didn't like Xavier was selfish.
When, after almost a full day of flying, he finally caught sight of the building, resentment gripped his chest. He hated this place. If it weren't for Wanda, he wouldn't have even stayed as long as he had. And if it weren't for her, he definitely wouldn't have come back, ever. No matter what.
But he did. He came back. For Wanda.
Sneaking in went just as planned. No one saw him. No one heard him. He was a ghost, after all. The moment he saw Wanda, he realized that he'd missed her even more than he'd thought.
"Knock knock," he said as he appeared in her room.
She jumped in surprise, but when she saw him, she smiled. "You scared me."
"Should I have said 'Boo', instead?" he asked. "I totally should have. Missed opportunity."
She chuckled slightly and shook her head.
"You seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered," he noted.
She was still wearing a straight jacket, but it looked looser, like whoever had put it on her wasn't as worried about her getting out. Her small smile still seemed genuine. Three weeks on her own again hadn't sent her straight back to her darkest place, it seemed.
"Yeah," she agreed. "I've been taking your advice. Whenever I notice myself getting stuck thinking about the bad memory, I try to think of three good ones. It's hard sometimes, but I think the more effort it takes, the better it works, because it keeps me distracted for longer. Yesterday, I remembered reading that book with you. You know the one. I tried to imagine an ending for it where they were both arrested as war criminals instead of having a happy ending. Do you want to hear it?"
"Absolutely," Danny confirmed.
In truth, he hadn't even thought about that trashy romance novel in ages. It was largely forgettable for him, but if it helped Wanda better navigate her emotions then hell yeah he wanted to hear her ideas for an alternate ending.
In her version of the ending, there was a huge trial. The kings of both sides agreed that the Warlock and Sorceress were guilty of crimes against Arvenia, and sentenced them to live the rest of there lives in a deep, dark dungeon where the lovers could only communicate by having rats deliver notes between them.
Then, after years of planning their escape one note at a time, they broke out and took over the world together, killing the kings and terrorizing the people of Arvenia to keep them in line.
"Ooh, plot twist!" Danny said when she got to that part. "I like that you made them the villains in the end. They should have been the villains from the beginning."
"I agree," Wanda said. "It was stupid that the book just gave them another villain to blame for all the bad things they did and fight off, rather than acknowledging their crimes."
"Totally!" Danny emphatically agreed. "Oh, I just remembered! I brought you some stuff."
He reached into his pockets and pulled out all the stuff he'd brought. He pulled out a deck of cards, a book of MadLibs and a pen, a sheet of stickers. He wasn't sure what they would have the most fun with, so he'd just  brought a bunch of random junk. Lastly, he pulled out a necklace, a black choker with an ankh charm.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Your first goth accessory," he said. "I found it in a random box in the attic where I'm staying now."
"No, I mean what's that symbol?" she asked, repositioning herself so Danny could put the necklace on her.
"Oh, it's an ankh. The Egyptian symbol for life, I think."
"Life, huh? Doesn't sound very goth."
"Well, you would be wearing it ironically," he said. "Most of the other gothy stuff I found had crosses, and seeing as your Jewish and all...." He shrugged. "Felt like it would be disrespectful. So, do you like it?"
"Yeah, I like it a lot," Wanda said. "You know," her voice became suddenly softer than before, like she was nervous. "Professor Xavier is going to come tomorrow. I think tomorrow might finally be the day he takes me with him."
"You think?" Danny asked, excited for her despite his hatred of the professor.
"Yeah," she confirmed. "I've been doing a lot better lately, and I have a really good feeling about it."
"That's awesome, Wanda!" he told her. "In that case, let's call the necklace a good luck charm. I'm rooting for you. I know you can do it."
"Thanks."
"You know, I also found this totally sweet red leather coat when I was rooting around in the attic," he said. "Ankle-length, flared collar, and it's your favorite color. Once you're ready to give up the straight jacket, I'll bring it to you as a congratulations present. What do you think?"
"I think you're really trying to motivate me."
"What can I say? I miss my friend."
"Then we have a deal," she agreed. Tomorrow is gonna be the day. I just know it."
Danny grinned widely at her. 
For the rest of the day, they mostly played MadLibs. They tried a few card games, too, but with Wanda's hands restrained, the only thing they could really do was collaborative solitaire, and that got old fast. Danny stuck little ghost and bat stickers on all the latches on her straight jacket while he told her about the school he was going to, and the board house. How he'd picked the same city the Xavier Institute was in so he could see her again when she enrolled there.
"They're all mutants at the board house," Danny told her. "I don't know if they actually believe I'm not, but they don't push it. They don't even call me a mutant by mistake. I don't know, maybe it's 'cause they're afraid I'll do something, or maybe it's 'cause they just don't care enough to argue with me, but either way, that's better than I ever got from Xavier."
"I'm glad you found people who accept you," Wanda said. "I hope when I go to the professor's school, I will too."
"Me too," Danny agreed. "And hey, even if you don't find them there, you'll still have me."
She smiled at him. Her smile was always small, burdened, a little sad behind the eyes, but it was honest. Danny liked that about her. She never tried to hide anything.
That night, he crashed in her room. Despite being fully padded, it was not very comfortable, but it was better than trying to fly through the night and ending up sleeping in a tree somewhere. He said 'see ya later' and left early in the morning to make sure he wouldn't be seen when the orderlies came to get her for her meeting with the professor, and promised to meet up with her again soon.
Then, he spent another day flying back to Bayville.
"You're getting back a little late, aren't you?" Lance observed when Danny finally returned to the board house. "Did you get to spend some quality time with your girlfriend?"
"Again, not my girlfriend, but yes, I did," Danny responded. "How was your... whatever you guys decided to do this weekend?"
"Oh, we ended up not being able to decide, so we just ordered pizza and stayed here all weekend," Lance answered. "So that was... that."
"Oh, yeah, those X-Men are gonna be soo jealous of the weekend you had."
"Shut up!"
It wasn't until a couple days later that news reached the Brotherhood of the X-Men's newest member. It came by way of Lance's budding relationship with Kitty.
"Really!? The X-Men have a new member?" Danny repeated excitedly when he heard the news after school.
"That's what Kitty said," Lance confirmed. "Apparently she's not gonna start at Bayville High for another few of days so she can get settled, but yeah. I don't know anything about her, though."
"I'm pretty sure I do!" Danny said. "I gotta go!"
"What?"
Danny didn't bother to explain. He went ghost, made a quick pit-stop in the attic to grab something and then flew straight for the Xavier Institute. He'd never actually been there before, but Tabitha told him where it was a while back. Apparently, she used to be an X-Men trainee before she joined the Brotherhood, and she was still friends with some of them.
Turrets rose up out of the ground the moment he got past the gate. Probably motion-activated. Danny easily avoided getting hit by turning intangible and staying that way until he'd flown straight through the front door. It actually took a while. The grounds were huge.
By the time he got through, there was a group of mutants waiting for him, suited up and ready for a fight.
"Relax, I'm not here to fight," Danny said. He held up the paper bag he'd brought with him. "I'm just bringing a friend a gift."
"Who are you?" demanded a guy with a weird visor. Scott, probably. He seemed like Scott.
"What do you mean who am I?" Danny asked. "You know me!"
"Like, I've never seen you before," Kitty said, crossing her arms. 
How they expected to protect their identities when they didn't even wear masks, Danny had no idea.
"What are you talking about? I—" He stopped himself abruptly. "Oh yeah, my bad," he said, and let the rings of his transformation wash over him, revealing his human form. "Recognize me now?"
Judging by their gasps, the answer was yes, but they didn't stand down.
"What are you doing here?" Jean asked. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with the Xavier Institute."
"I don't wanna join, but it's not like I hate you guys or anything," Danny said. "This just isn't the place for me. And I already told you why I'm here. I'm brought a congratulations present for Wanda. She's your new member, right? Or trainee? Whatever."
"How do you know that?" asked a fuzzy blue mutant that Danny didn't recognize until he started talking. That German accent was unmistakably Kurt.
"Well, when I saw her the other day, she said she felt really confident that she was going to be able to join you guys soon, and then Lance said Kitty said you got a new member, so I figured it must be her."
The others all glared at Kitty.
"What?" she asked. "It's not like it was gonna be a secret for long anyway. We, like, all go to the same school!"
"I wasn't aware you and Wanda were so close," came a familiar voice.
Danny turned to see the professor wheeling in and had to school his face to avoid scowling at him.
"We're friends," he said. "Can I see her or not? And keep in mind if you say no, I'm just gonna find her anyway."
"As long as you haven't come with ill intentions, I see no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to see her," the professor said. "We're all mutants after all, and a sense of community is important."
"I'm not a mutant," Danny muttered, his scowl finally breaking through.
The professor responded with a tight smile. "Jean, why don't you show Danny to Wanda's room."
"Of course, professor," Jean agreed. "It's this way."
She headed up the stairs and Danny followed.
"So do you and Wanda know each other from the institution?" Jean asked. "I mean, sorry, that's probably personal. I hope you don't mind me asking."
"It's fine," Danny said. "Yeah. Security couldn't exactly hold a guy who walks through walls, so I would sneak into her room sometimes and we'd hang out. She always wanted to be able to come here. I could never really understand it, but I'm still proud of her, you know? I may not agree with you guys, but you're good people. For the most part. I'm not quite sold on Scott, yet."
Jean chuckled. "I guess we can't really ask for more than that." She stopped in the hallway and knocked on a door. "Wanda, you in there? You have a visitor."
The door opened seemingly on its own.
"Danny!" Wanda's voice called. "I didn't think you'd be here so soon."
"I came as soon as I heard, and I guess word travels fast," he replied. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, come in," she said.
"I'll leave you to it," Jean said, as she backed away into the hall and closed the door behind her.
"You look good," Danny said.
Her clothes were a bit mismatched, but it was the first time he was seeing her without a straight jacket, and that was a huge improvement. She was also wearing the choker he'd given her. Her hair looked recently washed, and was neatly combed and tucked behind her ears. 
Even the way she held herself was more confident, happier. Not being in that rotten mental institution was already having a positive affect on her, it seemed.
"I brought something that'll make you look even better." He held up the paper bag.
"The coat?" she asked, rushing forward excitedly to take the bag from him.
"I hope it fits," he told her. "It looked about the right size."
She let the bag drop to the floor as he pulled the coat out and smoothly slid it on. It looked like it might be a little wide in the shoulders, but other than that, it fit like a glove.
"It's perfect," she said.
"I also found some earrings that match the necklace," he said. "I slipped 'em in one of the pockets. I know you don't have pierced ears, but I figured if you ever did, you might like to have them."
She patted the pockets until she found what he was talking about and smiled when she pulled them out. Then, she laid them gently on her dresser.
He didn't think he'd ever seen her smile so much, and so unabashedly. It wasn't the tiny, hesitant smile she'd worn before. She was really coming out of her shell.
"Careful," he said. "Looking at you now, I'd almost think you weren't consumed by rage."
Her smile fell. 
That had been the wrong thing to say.
"I am still angry," she said. "I can't stop it. But... you were right. I didn't need to control my anger. I just had to stop letting my anger control me. Now I can be angry and happy at the same time. Angry and excited. I feel more than just anger now. It feels good."
"I'm happy to hear it," he told her. "So how's this place treating you so far?"
"I have a roommate!" she replied instantly. "Her name is Rahne. And tomorrow, when they're done with school, she and some of the other girls are gonna take me to the mall for new clothes so I don't have to wear stuff from the lost-and-found anymore."
"That makes sense," Danny said.
"Do you wanna come?" she invited.
"I... would... but I might ruin the mood," he said apologetically. "Some of them don't trust me since I'm technically part of the Brotherhood, and we're... enemies? Rivals? Something like that. Plus, you don't want a guy tagging along on your first girl's shopping trip. Trust me. You'll want the full experience."
"You have a point...."
"I'll enjoy the surprise of seeing your new wardrobe when you come to school in a few days," he said.
They hung out and chatted for a little while until Wanda's roommate came back and Danny figured that was his cue to go. As he left her new room, he had the distinct pleasure of telling her he'd see her at school.
He could feel eyes on him until he was all the way off the manor grounds. They may not have hated him, but these X-Men sure as hell didn't trust him either.
Whatever. He didn't care what they thought about him. As long as they took care of Wanda, and left him alone, they were alright in his book. So far, so good.
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Could you maybe do a jade x gn or ftm reader where they have been close friends for a while, even secretly hooking up whenever jade feels lonely (e.g. after the beck&tori anti-date, in the car at the end of the moose episode). R falls in love with jade but feels like a second choice, so they tell her they need some space to get over her, since she does not want a romantic relationship. Jade misses r and realizes she loves them, so she sings the song an the fullmoon thingy to them (instead of beck) and that's how they "come out" as a couple to the rest of the school? Sorry it's so long, it's just been stuck in my head for a while now. Thank you, and i love your work!
Jade x GN!reader
The sound of your text tone for Jade pulls you from your studying. Taking a look, you sigh at the words.
'Im coming over'
This seemed to be happening more and more often. You and Jade have been friends for years. When you were both starting to explore your sexualities, you were naturally drawn to each other. Then Jade started to date others, eventually leading to Beck. She stopped coming to you for a while after that. At least for the sex part. But every once in a while, whenever Beck and her were broken up, she would go back to you. And as much as it makes you feel used, you always welcomed her with open arms. Why?
You had fallen in love with her.
But you were never the first one in her life anymore. It became Beck, Cat and even Tori. You were benched until she needed something from you. It started to affect you mentally, leaving you depressed whenever she left your side to go back to whoever.
Bringing you out of your reverie, a knock signals the arrival of your guest. Of course she couldn't use the door like a normal person. As soon as you open your window, her lips are on yours. Even with eyes closed, she leads you to the bed and pushes you down, immediately climbing on top and stripping down.
"Jade..."
"No. No talking." She pulls at your shirt. "I need this now." She descends upon you and kisses you once more. With a sigh, you relent for now and let your hands roam her body. One last time wouldn't hurt.
-----+++++-----
Jade lays satisfied on your bed. You had already gotten up to help clean you and her off. Once done, you sat back on your chair, wearing your pajamas once more.
"Ready to talk now?" It was routine by this point.
"What, no cuddling this time?" Jade had that smirk you love so much. But seeing it now hurts.
"Jade."
She let out a groan and flops further into your bed. "Just another argument with Beck. We broke up again. He's been such a gank lately."
"Why do you even stay with him if you're always fighting?" You knew the answer to this, but you had to hear it from her. Maybe the answer will change this time.
"I told you, he's my safe place. He's always been there. He's my person."
Yeah, it didn't hurt any less than the first time. Jade gave you an odd look suddenly and you realize that you let out a scoff.
"Something funny, Y/N?" Now or never, you guess.
"Not funny, but really Jade? He's your person? What am I then, chopped liver?"
"Oh c'mon. You don't count."
"Why not? What am I to you, Jade?"
The goth pauses at that. She couldn't understand where this was coming from. You two had a good thing going. Why is it a problem now? Seeing her pause made you sigh. You run your hands over your face.
"Look... I don't think we should do this anymore."
"Wait, what?" She sits up, immediately grabbing her clothes to put on. "Why?"
You mulled over her question. You wonder if it's a good idea to relay your feelings. Would an excuse make her leave you alone? No, you were always honest with Jade. There's no reason to stop now.
"I... I really like you, Jade. And it just feels like I'm never gonna be your first choice." She stares at you, halfway into her pants. Her breath hitches slightly, but you don't catch it. "So if that's gonna be the case, I'd rather nip it in the bud now." Your eyes meet Jade's ocean ones. "Just give me time and I'll get over it... Eventually."
Jade feels surprisingly numb. She doesn't even say anything. She just leaves. The next thing she knew, she was home, in bed with a pillow in her arms. Why does it feel like she just got broken up with?
-----+++++-----
It was strange going to school and not seeing you. Jade was so used to you greeting her almost immediately. Even when she went to her locker, you weren't around. The first one to see her was Cat.
"Hey, Cat. Have you seen Y/N?" The red-head just shrugs.
"They're usually with you first, right? Haven't seen them yet."
It continues like this for the rest of the day. Jade started to wonder whether you even went to school. It wasn't until the end of the day did she see you with another group of friends.
Her heart clenches.
You were laughing with them. Your smile was one she realized that she hadn't seen in a while. You leaned into touches that weren't from her. Did you get over her that quickly? She didn't even get a chance to win you back.
That thought made her freeze. Win you back? You weren't together. You were friends with benefits. Good benefits if she would say so herself. Why was seeing you smile like that with other people making her feel this way? Jade turns away with a huff and walks away. She wasn't dealing with this right now.
You didn't even look at her.
-----+++++-----
It's been a couple weeks and Jade was going insane. She kept seeing you everywhere at school and you didn't even so much as glance at her. Her frustration made her friend terrified to talk to her. Only Tori was brave, or dumb, enough to speak up.
"Jade?" The goth's eyes shoot over to her, making the Latina jump. "M-maybe you should talk to them. Ya know, say you miss them or something." Jade's eyes trail back over to you. Bolstered by Tori, Beck speaks up.
"Look, Jade. You know that we aren't gonna work out." Her eyes bore into him this time, but he's unaffected. "Think about it. Y/N's been by your side and dealt with you screwing with them for years." He takes her shoulders and gives it a shake. "Why did you keep going back to them?"
She looks away from him, processing his question. Quite suddenly, it hits her. Jade's eyes widen and she whips her head over to you. A girl leans far too close to you while laughing and it makes her blood boil. Now she knows why.
Jade loves you. She loves you and now she's on the cusp of losing you before she even got to have you. Questions flood her brain. Do you still want her? If so, how was she going to tell you she cares about you? Would you even take the chance if presented?
An idea pops into her head. It was a risk, but for you, it was worth it.
-----+++++-----
You were doing well. You made sure to keep Jade out of sight. While it helped a bit to keep her out of mind, she still found a way to invade your brain. When someone was flirting with you, you wished it was Jade instead. When they touch you, your memory makes it Jade's. It was a hard process, but you are determined to see it through.
Even now, you're on a date with this girl at the Full Moon showcase. You're enjoying your time with her. Laughs and touches accent the fun time you're having. It was almost enough for you to forget about Jade. That is until you start hearing the rift of a guitar. You and your date turn to the stage and you see Jade walking up to the microphone. Her eyes find yours before glancing next to the girl next to you. She bites her lips when she turns back to you before taking a breath.
You think you know me
but you don't know me
You think you own me
But you can't control me
You listen to the lyrics. You're sure that this was directed at you. Taking a glance at your date, you see that she's rocking out to the song. When she notices you looking, she smiles but it drops when she sees your face.
"Sorry."
That's all you say before standing up and walking towards the stage. Towards Jade. Her eyes stare into yours as she sings. You stare back, face impassive as you try to gauge her sincerity.
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me
And I can't convince you
You don't know me
And the longer that you stay
The ice is melting
And the pain feels okay
It feels okay...
It's then that you smile at her. Her relief is palpable when she goes into the end of the song with gusto. When the song ends, she watches as you walk up the stage and stands by her. Cautiously, she brings her hands up to your face. When you lean into the caress, she lets out a laugh of relief and pulls you into a kiss. You vaguely register the audience's applause but it soon fades away the longer Jade's lips are on yours.
You part when you're both ushered off stage by Sykowitz and you find a corner to be alone in. Jade is the first to speak.
"Look, I know I've been a gank to you, but I want to try this. I want to make this work." She takes a deep breath. "I... I love you."
Your heart stutters. A fond smile graces your lips. It's no surprise that you lean in close and whisper those words back before kissing her again and again.
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bengiyo · 2 months
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Last Twilight Ep 11 Stray Thoughts
Last week, Day and Mhok went home to face the music, and Mhok made the appropriate choice to quit. Day's mom then isolated Day by taking his phone and Internet connection away, locking him away at home. Night brought Day a secret phone, and the two brothers reconciled over soup. Mhok struggled to find work as a mechanic, and now works in the restaurant with Porjai, who is also seeing Night on the side (Night has claimed the baby to the nurses, even if he and Porjai haven't talked about what they are). Day and Mhok are still dating, and we left at the mom crashing the date to say they had a date for the surgery.
Mark is so good at building rapport. Night and Day feel like they're reclaiming their brotherly relationship.
Now, Mhon, I'm gonna need you to get it together. At least you're working through this away from your son.
Sea has such a reliable smile. I've liked it in every character he's played.
I knew the surgery had to fail for dramatic reasons, but I still feel disappointed for everyone.
Crying with the sunglasses on was a good choice.
Months later? Oh no.
So Night gets to name the baby, but he and Porjai still have an undisclosed and non-specific relationship?
I don't necessarily mind skipping over the mom's development in the intervening months, but it really deflates a lot of the drama involving her.
I was wondering when we'd get a random cameo from Au.
Is Day gonna leave the room on this trip?
Ah, Mhok had a nightmare about missing Rung's call and now we're getting a scare about Day being hit by a car.
Mhok's outfit just gave me a jump scare because I thought he was wearing a priest's collar.
Why is Mhok getting scared about Day leaving the room on his own like Mhon now?
Day using his cane and navigating what it means to interact with people who want to him him/pity him feels like an important step for him.
They want Mhok to work on Hawaii?? Oh boy. At least they didn't sit on this and he told Day when they met up after he got the news about the opportunity.
These two and the leg touching. I'm a fan.
Mhok, why are you making that face during an I Love You smile? What are you not telling us?
Damn, Day found that contract so quick!
Mhok, why did you have to lie??
I don't like them bringing the Rung stuff back up this episode to have Mhok act out like this. He's believed in Day so much that Day keeps bringing it up. He mentioned the job and Day was enthusiastic about it. Why is Mhok now lying? Why is he suddenly being overprotective?
Day reacts in the extreme, but I'm with him on the offense.
This mom flashback is doing a lot of heavy lifting to explain her own character and to try to justify Mhok's behavior here, and I'm not really feeling it.
I'm encouraged by Day finishing his degree in the preview, but are we looking at a multi-year separation? Aof, why are you always like this with the finale previews?
Man, I just don't know. I don't really like this overprotectiveness expressing in Mhok like this. I can see how we could have gotten here, but it feels so rushed. I also don't like him hiding this from Day. It's a bad look all around and a really frustrating point to end on. This tried to be a soft landing episode 11, but I'm not impressed.
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ghostscrown · 3 months
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So, I started to see some people who watch the Percy Jackson show but didn't read the books and either saw the movies or not, so I thought about making an explaining post in case some of them came across my blog (spoiler free, of course, feel free to read if you're missing context about the show, I'm gonna try to answer the questions I saw the most people asking – is it an excuse to infodump, probably) :
What is the difference between the books, the show and the movies ?
The two movies were made after the books something like ten years ago. However it was a bad adaptation, so they made a new one, that is the show.
Does the show follow the movies ?
No. The show isn't linked to the movies at all. The movies were a really bad adaptation of the Percy Jackson books, and the author himself hated them. That's why they wanted a fresh start for an adaptation.
But is there gonna be a third movie ?
No. The second movie was a weird mix of the 4 last volumes of the first serie of books, so there's never gonna be any third movie possible with what they did. Any fan of the books would advice you to watch the show instead, that is following the books better – if you don't want to read the books themselves.
Why are the characters so young ?
As I said, the movies were bad adaptations. In the first volume of the books, the main characters are 12 years old, and not 16 like in the movies. In the show, they're gonna age with time until they're 17, just like in the books.
How many volumes of the books are there ?
Percy Jackson is an extended universe of books, divided into multiple series. The first serie, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians", has five volumes in total. The second one, "Heroes of Olympus", that is directly following the first one, also has five volumes. These two series are considered to be the "main books". However, there is also a third one, "Trials of Apollo", with also five books (following "Heroes of Olympus"), two secondary series happening in the same universe, "Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard" and "Kane Chronicles", with 3 volumes each, a stand alone book called "the Sun and the Star" that is happening after "Trials of Apollo", some "bonus" books with short stories... And the most recent book, "the Chalice of the Gods" that is probably the start of another serie. So if I didn't forget any, there are 27 books in total and more to come.
Do I need to have read the books to watch the show ?
No, it is not necessary to have read the books. Of course I'll always recommend people to read them because they're awesome, but you can still watch the show if you didn't (and I understand that giving the amount of books, a lot of people wouldn't want to read them if they don't like reading). There's some little details you could understand better if you read the books, but it's not that important and more like easter eggs for the books fans.
Is the show really following the books ?
Yes and no. Of course it's the adaptation of a whole book to an 8 episode live-action show, so they changed some details. The characters don't have the same physical look as described in the books, but that's because they prioritized their acting over their look. However the show is really well done and most of the books fans agree that it's still very truthful to the books. I personally love what they did.
How many seasons is there gonna be ?
The plan is to make one season per book. They're waiting to see if the first season is successful ; if it is, we should get a second one, and if the show is successful as a whole, it should get at least 5 seasons (10 if we're lucky) !
When are the episodes airing and how much are there ?
Two episodes came out for the first airing, but after that, one episode is going to be released each week on wednesday. There's gonna be 8 episodes in total for this first season. The first episode was 37 minutes long and the second was 42 minutes long, so we can assume all of the episodes are gonna be approximately 40 minutes long.
Isn't the targeted audience kids ?
Yes it is. The Percy Jackson books are the kind of "the characters are growing up with the audience" books ; so each book is a little more mature. It's probably gonna be the same thing in the show, the first seasons will be more targeted to children and the last ones to teenagers / young adults.
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