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#I'm back to hurt people /j
octoagentmiles · 2 years
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hi!! love ur acc, could you do headcannons on how the octonauts would comfort you if you were having a bad day? 🥰
hiiii!!! <3 thanks for the love :]
Barnacles
ohhhhh this bear is SO repressed honestly he might not know what to do—I mean he can't even handle when HE has a bad day! But, nonetheless, he would try his darndest to comfort you via a pat on the shoulder (perhaps a hug if you ask), and feeding you burnt handmade cakes. After you scarf down his attempts at food, he gives you a heartfelt pep-talk that you never knew you needed. (You may or may not accidentally call him "dad" afterwards—it's a little awkward but he laughs it off, and says it's not the first time someone's done that to him.)
Tweak
She's definitely the therapist friend; she will immediately notice something's up with you, and lightheartedly nag until you finally confess what's on your mind. You don't know how she does it, but she gets you to vent for hours—and when you're finally finished, she puts on her favourite game, hands you the controller, and proceeds to give you the BEST advice you've ever received while blasting alien invaders.
That, or she lets you "invent stuff" (bang random things together) in her workshop for a lil while.
Kwazii
He... doesn't have much experience with touchy feelys, but like Tweak, will notice you're upset right away. At first, he might worry he's done something wrong—has he upset you? scared you? He doesn't know, but he'll rush to get to the bottom of it, no matter what. He'll start acting overly friendly around you, hoping to infect you with his good mood—but ultimately once he finds out what's really going on, he'll offer to distract you with a game of table tennis, or an adventure together.
Shellington
He's probably not going to notice right away, let's be real—but after a couple days of you moping, then he'll notice your behavior is different. Your routine is different. Something's off. He'll ask you point-blank "what's wrong?" and if you don't give him an honest answer, he'll get the Vegimals to stalk you for a few hours, then report back to him. Once he figures it out (whether you're kind enough to be blunt with him or not), he'll ask you to help him out in his lab, or go on a quick mission with him. If the latter, he'll definitely crash the GUP and get you stranded somewhere—but at least it gets your mind off things.
Dashi
She will do everything in her power to make you feel better. She will be your shoulder to cry on, your distraction, your advice-giver, whatever you need. She's very in tune with her friend's feelings, and can tell when something's going on, and is usually pretty good at figuring out what, so you don't even need to explain. She'll devise a cunning plan to cheer you up; probably involving a semi-dangerous photo-op vacation. Are you ready for a slumber party afterwards? Because you're getting one.
Peso
First he'll give you a checkup, since stress can make you feel physically unwell. After making sure everything's all good, your therapy will be in session. Peso is very open about his feelings, and I'd imagine he has a way of getting others to open up as well (I mean, he got Barnacles to do it. BARNACLES!). He'll get right to the root of your problem, has something been bothering you for a while? Did you forget to [insert self care activity]? Whatever it is, he'll personally make sure your issue is resolved by the end of the day. If you're still feeling bleh, he'll prescribe you one trip to the gamepod; where he'll tell you to rest in the beanbag chair while he puts on a good comfort movie for you.
this was so much fun actually, hope you enjoy these!!!
now ask me to do the octo-agents i dare you 👁️👁️
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pierswife · 1 year
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No sleep, only them--
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spyofthestorm · 1 year
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every time i think about will being in 2022 it's like.... he survived the upside down. it's dead, and he finally feels free. he's been living without the feeling of death breathing down his neck for years! yes, remembering everything that happened to him like his possession and especially his disappearance hurts. but it can't hurt him anymore. he's been extremely strong about his past and he's grown.
he creates art and hangs out with his friends. especially his husband, mike. there are days when the entire party meets up for dinner, talking about how their lives have been since after the upside down, where they all head in different directions of life. they're all discovering new stuff and thinking about innovative ideas. as the world grew older, they did too. but that moment made them feel like they time traveled back into 1983. when they were all young.
i can only imagine going through what will did and then after a fateful year, the evil haunting him and the rest of the party is gone. of course, a little flicker of the light or the booming noise of the movie theater might scare him. when something's gone, there's always a little bit left.
but it cannot hurt him. because 34-35 years ago the upside down was killed. and it's never coming back.
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falsementor · 2 years
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i have so many thoughts about macaque and the feeling of ‘hopelessness’ that follows him everywhere he goes... 
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scare-ard--sleigh · 1 year
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no children still makes me think of hojo & lu nine million years later but um it's kinda uhhhhhhh idk how to say this, uh, cyril-coded 😬🫥🫣
#late night archerblogging#cyrling divorce era [laughs uncomfortably]#idk it was on a j*seph chr*stensen playlist [do not look at me] and it's mmmmmmm#i don't see that; i think the interpretation is valid and i 100% see where it's coming from but i think i see joe differently#he's more of a k*ndall to me in terms of his weakness. i see him thinking he's a lot weaker than he really is; i see him blaming#circumstance despite often being the one to dig his own grave. but i'm really here to talk about cyril's expressions of anger.#which are canonically bombastic in the way that this song is.#(interesting aside that cyril's bombastic expressions of anger are different than archer's. cyril seems more likely to twist the knife.)#(i love him v v much but he seems like the type of person who gets angry bc they're hurt so they hurt you back even more so they Win)#(i used to be like that; it's unkind but it's a defense mechanism and there's a good chance i'm projecting so do with that what you will)#and it's like..........he definitely means it but you can also kinda tell that he doesn't?#i guess there's a similarity between him and ken and joe in that he'll corner himself and go 'there's no way out!!!!'#maybe he's just quicker to blame other people for it. (vs 'this is how it has to be' or 'this is god's doing')#mm this is interesting i have kind of a hard time parsing cyril's ugly side but it's definitely there#anyway i've listened to this song six times in a row trying to write this out and i'm done so mwah
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heartfullofleeches · 13 days
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Host and Murder Streamer Darling- A match made in... whelp, this two are just perfect for each other, okay? Eldtrich Bastard Host who adores tormenting folks for his own amusement and the human who tortures people for the pleasure of others-
Host: Contestant A, why don't you tell us a bit ab-
Murder Streamer Darling: Oh my gosh! Is this live?! Can we hook up my stream too? I'm not the greatest at answering trivia so if I'm gonna die today, I want my lovlies to know the reason for my absence. I know a few of those freaks would love to see it, hahaha!
Host: ....You win.
-
Host: Have you had enough time to come up with an answer to our question?
Contestant: Please...J-just let me go home....
Murder Streamer Darling: Wrong! That's the wrong answer! Mr.Host, Mr.Host! Can I now??
Host, patting their head: Not yet- Give them just a couple more seconds
-
Contestant: I'll fucking kill you!
[The Contestant lunges at Host - wrapping their hands around his throat. Their eyes go wide as blood pours from their mouth, red seeping through the back of their shirt.]
Murder Streamer Darling: Host! Are you okay?
Host: No need to worry. All that little stunt managed to do was excite the crowd.
Murder Streamer Darling, throwing their arms around Host: Still! You're the best boss I've ever had and I don't want you to get hurt!
[Host points his head in another direction at Darling notices something]
Murder Streamer Darling: Eh?.... Mr.Host.... Mr.Host, why are you hard?
-
Contestant: How... Can you work for that....monster?
Murder Streamer Darling: Hmmm? You mean Mr.Host? Ha, he's nothing more than a big ol pervert like the rest of them. Watch!
[Darling leans on the podium, sticking out their ass in Host's direction]
Murder Streamer Darling: Oh, no. My thighs are covered in so much sweat and blood from all this butchering I've been doing. If only I had someone to wipe me down~
Host: ...[clears his throat, pulling the handkerchief from his coat pocket]
Host: Seems like we'll have to end our showing today a little early due some.... difficulties. Thank you all for coming
Murder Streamer Darling: See~
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jeannineee · 2 months
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nsfw alphabet: satoru gojo
warnings: obv nsfw under the cut. Minors go away.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
listen...he's normally just as exhausted as you are after sex. but he'll absolutely clean you up and cuddle with you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
on himself, he's proud of his entire body, honestly. but he especially likes his abs. would not be against you riding them honestly
on you, he likes your neck. kissing it, marking it. will occasionally wrap his hand around it, just to watch your eyes roll back.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
ususally cums inside you, but something about your chest does it for him too. just seeing his release painted on your skin.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
this probably comes as a shock to no one, but he would not mind subbing for you; giving you the control in the bedroom.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
be for real. he's canonically not the most experienced with women, but he definitely knows what he's doing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
cowgirl!! he loves watching you struggle to take him, and he can thrust up into you if you start to get tired.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
while he can be serious during sex, he's usually very teasing and will crack jokes, but not to the extent of ruining the mood.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
yes the carpet matches the drapes and yes he keeps it very trimmed. he simply prefers it that way.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
i know a lot of people perceive him as this childish baby but satoru can be veryyyy intimate. i'm talking candles, flower petals on the bed, massages, etc. he's a lover boy.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
masturbated very regularly before you, and still does it occasionally after meeting you--usually only when the two of you are away from each other for an extended period of time.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
oh boy!!
orgasm control (edging and overstimulation) both ways!! sensory deprivation, temperature play, breath play, bondage, breeding. praise and a liiiitle degradation. exhibitionism. with lots of communication, he'd be down for some dom/sub dynamics in the bedroom. (again, both ways. this man is a switch.)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
literally anywhere. he has no shame. empty classroom, bathroom at a restaurant, your car, etc. he will take you anywhere.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
it doesn't take much for him, but your touch especially gets him going. resting your hand on his knee, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
i can't imagine him being into sadism. he's miiiight be a bit of a masochist though. wouldn't want to hurt you in any way.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he's almost torn. almost. but for him, nothing beats the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
typically leans towards fast and rough, but also knows when to slow it down.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
yes yes and yes. any time, any place.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
again, yes. won't literally have sex in broad daylight, but definitely gets off on the idea that someone could catch you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
unfortunately for you (or at least unforunately for the lower half of your body) satoru has a looooot of stamina. can literally go until the sun comes up and the birds are singing.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
uh duh. mostly basic stuff like vibrators and handcuffs. but is also down to try anything you want.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
he is absolutely the biggest tease and is so whiny when you give him a taste of his own medicine. you can have him begging rather easily.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
he is very, very vocal. moaning, whining, whimpering. very much a talker. like almost pornographic with it.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
would not mind a threesome, as long as the two of you choose the third person together.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
okay so i know with nanami i expressed the need for realistic dick sizes but i digress. satoru is a solid 8 inches and has enough girth that you need prep every time to fit him. very veiny. do with that what you will.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
see stamina.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he can fall asleep fairly quickly, and oftentimes is out before you are.
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lil13 · 1 year
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REHEARSAL - j. champion
You're an actress on Scream VI and your scene partner is frequently Jack Champion. The two of you soon have to film a scene where your characters give into their tension and confess their feelings for the first time, ending in a kiss — and the directors want you to rehearse outside of set. You knew you'd have to kiss Jack eventually, but the thought of rehearsing the scene alone with him made you nervous.
It's nothing, right?
You had simply just invited your castmate over to your apartment to rehearse a scene that the directors asked you to rehearse. No big deal.
Jack Champion was one of your castmates and happened to be playing the best friend of your character. Except, both characters had secretly fallen for each other and confess their feelings, ending in a steamy kiss. Apparently, when you'd gone to film the scene the day before, the directors weren't convinced with your performance — they'd even called cut before you got to the kiss.
You had hyped yourself up all day for nothing.
A couple weeks ago you'd confided in Devyn, one of your other castmates — she played a character named Anika. You told the girl that you were pretty sure you'd fallen for your castmate and were freaked out about it. Devyn assured you that this feeling was okay, and if you had fallen for Jack, it wasn't the end of the world.
So, when you'd gotten nervous about your kiss scene, you confided in Devyn then again too. She assured you once again, that you'd be okay.
When you heard a knock on the wood of your apartment door, all air left your lungs.
You wiped the sweat on your palms off on your sweatpants before walking — nervously — over to the door. You'd tried on approximately 5 different outfits before settling on sweatpants and a tank top, even told Jack to dress down as well.
"Hi." Jack smiled once you opened the door.
Your heart skipped a beat and you immediately knew that running this scene would be difficult tonight. But alas, you pushed through.
"Hi." you echoed, stepping aside so Jack could step into the apartment.
Closing the door behind him, you told Jack where he could drop his things. When you saw him looking around, you remembered he'd only been here with the group, so he hadn't really had the chance to look around. You couldn't help yourself but walk right up next to him, nudging his body with your own. It was like you were drawn to him. 
"Like it?" you questioned.
He nodded quickly, glancing down at you. "It's cute."
After a couple minutes of small talk, you agreed to get started. Your characters were standing during the scene, so you and Jack stood in the free floor space between the couch and the small kitchen table you had.
You flipped a switch inside of yourself and began to act as Piper, your character in the movie.
"Um, hello? Are you forgetting something?" This scene was supposed to take place right after a frat party.
You'd gone with Ethan and the group to this party. Whilst there, you and Ethan had flirted some, like the two of you had been doing for the past few months. Long story short, Piper and Ethan had been friends since high school, both moving to New York for college. Piper had always felt something toward Ethan, but being with him at college and seeing how girls looked at him really solidified her feelings.
Jack furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"
"For fucks sake! When you went to find Tara with Chad I went to get another drink and when I came back all 6 of you were gone. You left me at the party." Your character was supposed to be out done with his. "What happened to never leaving friends alone at parties? I could be upstairs fucking a rando right now for all you care."
His face contorted as he stepped closer. "Piper, i'm sorry! Chad just grabbed me and we left... I forgot."
"Wow."
You were supposed to be mad, but also hurt.
"Piper..."
You shook your head, "No, no, no. Don't Piper me. Ever since we became friends with those people you've put me on the back burner! Do you know how much that hurts?"
Jack reached out to put a hand on your arm, but you jerked back. His facial expression fell.
Even though you knew it was acting, it still made your heart hurt.
"I'm really sorry, I just. Things have changed since we moved here."
You cocked an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. "Like what?"
"Us." his voice was quiet.
Piper was supposed to stay quiet at this point, taking a step or two backwards. This was Ethan's turn to speak.
"Piper, we've known each other since freshman year and I just... the way I, see you now. It's different."
The kiss was coming up soon and your heart was going crazy. But what you didn't know, was so was Jack's.
"Different, huh?"
Jack's eyes went wide, mimicking Ethan's panic. "Good different! Piper, these past couple of months i've seen you differently than before and it scares the shit out of me. It's like every part of me is itching to be around you 24/7, and when you're finally close it feels like nothing bad will ever happen to me."
You cracked a smile, this was when Piper was supposed to realize that Ethan felt the same. Your heart skipped a beat, thinking about how amazing it would be if Jack felt the same way as you. But that would never happen in a million years.
"You like me." Jack swallowed harshly, Ethan now realized that was Piper was saying was right. He 'liked' his best friend. "You like me!" The second time was Piper convincing herself.
Jack nervously scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, I guess I do."
This was when you kissed.
Piper was meant to initiate it. So, you took a deep breath and followed through. If you were meant to rehearse a scene, why not rehearse all of it?
You closed the space between you by walking those few steps, your hand grabbing the back of Jack's neck and pulling his face to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed right as your lips met in the middle.
Butterflies. Fireworks. All of the above.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Jack pulled away, a smirk on his lips. That's when the scene was supposed to end.
You wiped your mouth off with the back of your hand, taking a couple of steps backwards. "I think we did a pretty good job, think the directors will be satisfied." You were nodding as you stepped back some, creating space between you.
Jack stepped forward, "I, uh... I think we should practice again."
He did? But you'd done so well. "Which part?" You were genuinely curious.
The boy was quiet now. Something that was rare.
"J?" you called him by the nickname you'd bestowed upon him. Unoriginal, but you liked it.
His eyes wouldn't meet yours. "The kiss?"
He'd been so quiet you almost missed it. But you hadn't. He had asked to rehearse the kiss.
Suddenly bold, you decided to play dumb. "The kiss? I thought we did fine, why should we practice? We can if you want to, though."
Jack saw right through your ploy.
You mentally cursed yourself. But the blush on his cheeks clued you into the fact that maybe you weren't the only one with feelings at the moment.
With your boldness still out to play, you continued. "Or, you could just kiss me as Jack and not Ethan?" This made Jack's eyes go dark.
A smirk twitched on his lips as he crossed the floor, ducking down to crash his lips into yours. He immediately picked you up, your legs wrapping around his torso as he held you as close as possible.
You couldn’t really believe this was happening. Jack was actually kissing you. Devyn was gonna freak out.
Your fingers went into his hair, playing with and tugging on his curls. You’d dreamed about the day you’d get to play with his hair and that day was finally here.
Jack walked over to the couch, his lips never leaving yours, and sat down with you now in his lap. His kiss was rough and passionate, but everything else was so gentle. The way his hands ran of your body? It felt magical, but he was so careful, almost as if he didn’t want to do something wrong.
After a couple minutes, you pulled away. A frown flashed on Jack’s lips and you couldn’t help but smile. Your hands held his cheeks while his rested on your hips, his thumbs caressing your bare skin due to your tank top riding up.
“Did I ever tell you that I think you’re really cute?” you laughed.
Jack blushed, for the second time that night, and dropped his head against your chest to hide it. You laughed even harder picking his face up so he’d have to look you in the eye again.
He tried to fight against you, but you won. “And when you blush it’s even cuter.” This time you kissed him.
When you pulled away, his face followed yours, almost as if he wasn’t ready for the kiss to be over.
“In all honesty, i’m pretty sure that scene went badly yesterday because I was nervous.” he chuckled, lifting a hand from your hip to tuck a strand of fallen hair behind your ear. “And until you said I could kiss you as Jack I still was nervous. I like you so much, Y/N.”
“Would you say you’re itching to be around me 24/7 and when i’m around it feels like nothing bad will happen?”
Jack’s jaw dropped and he playfully squeezed your hips, “Are you quoting my character to me?”
“I might be.” You said with a smirk.
A squeal came from your lips when Jack pushed you down onto the couch beside him, his hands attacking your sides as he tickled you. Laughter poured from both of your mouths. All you wanted was to kiss him again, his brown eyes looked like coming home. He made you feel like nothing bad would ever happen.
Eventually, you managed to control the situation and pull Jack’s face down to yours. Your lips connected in a way that it felt like they were always meant to. This was something you could definitely get used to.
“Oh my god, what did I walk into?”
You and Jack both made noises of surprise, the boy falling down onto you, his head tucking in your neck. Your hands held his head, keeping his face out of sight of your guest.
“Devyn, hey.” you casually greeted the girl, “I forgot I gave you a key.”
Jack pinched your waist at your confession. You pulled his hair in retaliation.
The girl laughed, “I came over to get my phone charger I left here last night, didn’t think i’d walk in to you hooking up. I know you’re freaking out though.”
“We’re not—”
“Bye!” She grabbed the cord and walked back out the door.
You were embarrassed, taking your hands away from Jack’s head and covering your face with them. Your face was burning in embarrassment.
Jack propped himself up, looking down at you, “Freaking out, huh?”
“Ok, I might’ve ranted to Devyn about how much I liked you. Shut up.”
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chlorinecake · 7 months
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convenient chances II
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🎱 pairing: yandere!stalker!enhypen x fem!reader
🎱 cw: language, non-con kissing and touching, reader gets tortured-ish, slight dumbification, use of the nickname "doll"
🎱 wc: 3k — read part one and three here
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YOU AWOKE TO the feeling of the once running vehicle coming to a complete stop, doors unlocking at every which side.
Niki nudged your exhausted body, “Rise and shine, sleepy head.” Meanwhile, Heeseung hooked his arms under your armpits, guiding you out of the car. Your legs hit the ground, drawing your attention to your surroundings. From what you could tell, it was still fairly late in the night, and you were in the middle of the woods. Not too unfamiliar of a scene to you, but still a good ways away from civilization.
Jake ran over to hold your feet, Heeseung and him now holding you in a hammock position. They carried you past a campfire to a ledge on the cliff where the rest of the boys were standing ominously, Sunoo deciding to stay back in the car.
“Now look. We're not gonna hurt you unless we have to, so consider this all an unruly warning. A reminder of who you belong to,” Jay slithered, grabbing a stick from the ground to trail your frightened features. “You're not making any sense, Jay! If this was all apart of your plan to get my attention, why’d you have to kill Mandy?”
The six boys exchanged looks, laughing hysterically at your pitiful state.
“We didn’t kill her, jackass,” Sunghoon spat.
“What do you think life is? Some sort of simulation where people do the same things every single day?”
“She got the night off,” Jake finished, “so I covered for her shift.”
You internally sighed in relief, "Great, so you’re just trying to scare me, then?”
Heeseung peered at you from above, “Are you scared?”
You spat in his face, causing him to snicker in amusement. He dropped one of your arms to wipe your spit from his face, holding you up by one arm. “I like her," he grinned, reached down to squeeze your cheek harshly.
Jay stuck the stick he held in the fire before sealing the red hot edge at the side of your waist.
“Ahhgg,” you groaned in pain, provoking Jay to dig the burning stick even further into your skin, “Don’t fuck this up for me, love. I'm trying to be nice here, and you're only making things more difficult.”
“Alright, ladies, let’s stay on track, please,” Jungwon complained, impatiently nudging Jay’s shoulder.
“Right. We’re gonna ask you a question. Though, there’s only one right answer.”
“W-wha-what?"
“Slow down, dummy. Let him finish,” Niki retorted at your stuttering.
“Fuck this, walk her to the ledge,” Sunghoon directed, Heeseung and Jake guiding your frame to the cliff, their grips tightening around your wrists and ankles the more you struggled against them.
“It’s like you want us to punish you,” Heeseung smirked, swinging you back in forth dangerously close to the edge, Jake chuckled at your trembling. You screwed your eyes shut, preferring not to see whether they’d actually throw you over the cliff or not.
Jay stood in the background, observing your terror before speaking.
“There are two ways this night can end, ____. One, you fight back and my boys will do with you as they please.”
Jungwon and Niki snickered to each other.
Your lower lip quivered at the sound of their devilish tone's, feeling your arms and legs go numb from the awkward position you hung at.
“Two, you and I continue our relationship as if nothing ever changed and you swear your loyalty to me.”
“Booooo,” Sunghoon whined sarcastically, “I like the first option better.”
“The choice is yours, love. So choose wisely.”
“Fuck," you groaned exhaustedly, "fine! I’ll go with you! Just please make them put me down!”
“Tsk tsk tsk. You were so close, love, but I’m not sure if I favor the delivery of your answer. Try again, sweetheart, I know you can do it.”
“J-Jay,” your voice cracked with frustration, feeling the two rascals starting to swing you again.
You hated that he persisted on making this a difficult situation for you, even though you had already complied. You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking away the moisture in your eyes before continuing.
“I’ll go with you, Jay. I swear, I won’t leave you again!”
“And?”
“And my love and loyalty belongs to you, Jay. Always and forever.”
The wilderness fell silent, the sound of your jagged breaths filling the atmosphere.
Jay kneeled down to meet your tired figure that hung in the air, pulling your face to his before kissing the corner of your lips.
“I know, my love. And I’ve worked so hard to make sure you finally know that, too.”
He gave Jake and Heeseung a look before they released your aching limbs from their hostile grasp, your body flopping on the rocky ground.
“Eugh,” you grunted as Jay pulled you into his hold.
“All of you get in the car!” Sunghoon ordered, rounding up the rest of the boys as Jay carried you to the vehicle, dropping his friends off at their places before bringing you back to his house.
Your new “home.”
THE NEXT DAY, you and Jay were at a fancy restaurant just like old times. He bought you the most lovely black dress and stilettos to wear for the evening, complimented with pearl accents that matched his fancy wrist watch. It had been a while since you went out for food other than the convenience store, especially not with your ex-boyfriend.
He pulled your chair out for you before sitting at the other side of the table, analyzing the menu before initiating small talk.
“So, how’s life been? We haven't had many opportunities to catch up in a while.”
You ran a finger over the dish titles under the plastic covering of the menu, “I don’t see the point in discussing my life details with you when I’m sure you’ve already seen everything.”
Jay paused for a moment as if hitting a brick wall, clenching his jaw at your reply.
“Can’t you see I’m trying here, ____?” He pleaded, looking into your frustrated eyes, “I know I can’t take back what I’ve done to you, but this is a start. I already explained that my intentions were noble, I just-“ he paused again.
“You’re just crazy about me, right? Is that it?” You teased, crossing your legs under the table.
Jay snickered, showcasing his cat-like teeth.
“See? I knew you understood me,” he feigned glee, peering in a little closer over the table before whispering, “now stop disrespecting me or I’ll take your ass home and demonstrate just how crazy you make me.” His hand found yours, giving it a gentle squeeze that didn’t match the cruel nature of his words.
What was wrong with him?
“Good evening, and welcome to The Diamond. What can I start you guys off with? Drinks, appetizers?”
"I'll start with an iced lemon water,” Jay smiled, “and for you, love?”
“Iced water sounds lovely,” you smiled back, fighting the urge to kick him under the table.
“Anything else before we move onto entrées,” the waiter asked. Your eyes were so stuck on a Jay that you hadn’t realized it was Niki dressed as the server. You felt like the ceiling was caving in on you.
“Is everything okay, Miss?” Niki asked sarcastically, tilting a mocking head at your anxious state.
“Y-yes, I’m alright,” you stammered, trying to remain calm.
“I’ll let you know if we need anything else,” Jay finished, Niki bowing before running off to serve other tables.
“You brought back up?” You scoffed, shaking your head at him.
“No, doll, I’ve only ordered water so far. No need to panic, I’m paying anyways,” he chuckled, observing the menu once again.
You hated the nickname doll, as it only added to your circumstances of being his play thing. You watched as a thick bead of water trailed down the side of your glass, a bright yellow lemon floating in the mixture. You stuck your bare hand into the cup, bringing the lemon to your lips to suck on.
The slurping noises you made caught Jay’s attention, “What’re you doing, ____?” He asked in shock at your sudden change in behavior.
A few drops of the lemon dripping on your tits, drawing Jay's attention to your cleavage. You got up from the table, feeling Niki's threatening gaze burn holes into your back. You pushed your chest out, “Can you clean me up, Jay? I’m such a mess,” you pouted getting on your knees for him.
“____, this isn’t funny. You know better than to act out in a place like this.”
“Don’t keep your dumb doll waiting, Jay-Jay,” you ignored him, reaching a hand to stroke his thighs.
He snatched your wrist with such a force that the contact with his skin and yours made a snapping sound.
“That was your last strike, love. You don’t get any more chances to behave.”
For whatever reason, you didn’t feel threatened by his words. You knew that your actions would only lead to the inevitable cycle that Jay planned to evoke on you anyways.
He guided you through the restaurant, a few people observing the event in disgust. “She’s just a little tipsy,” Jay remarked halfheartedly, rushing through the doors before shoving you in the passenger's seat of his truck.
“What the hell was that, Jay?”
“Pfft, you’re asking me that?”
“How am I supposed to trust you when you bring your goons around to watch me? When you threaten my safety over my emotions?”
Jay shook his head at your words, “you're not the victim here, love.”
You scoffed before he continued.
“I may have hurt you physically, but you broke my fucking heart, and that can never be healed. Not until I correct your behavior,” he frowned, pulling into a driveway.
You didn’t bother asking why you were here because you knew this place all too well. It was the same place he’d take you whenever he wanted to “teach you a lesson.”
He called it his classroom.
So here you were, a student smelling of sweet citrus with your aggravated teacher and his hostile cane. You imagined each whack would feel more like a hit to your mind than it’d hurt you physically. Because that was the thing about Jay.
He’d cut you from the surface, but forget that those wounds often travel much deeper.
He held the small of your back as he guided you to the doorstep at the front porch, taking in your nervous frame.
“____,” he began, taking your hands in his but your gaze fell to the ground, fearful tears starting to spill from your eyes. So much for holding it in all this time.
“Save you tears love,” Jay continued, lifting up your face and wiping the moisture from your cheeks, “I’m not gonna hurt you anymore.”
His words delayed your tears mid-stream, staring into his eyes with confusion.
“What are you saying, Jay?” You sniffled.
“I’m saying that I considered your words. 'How can you trust someone who hurts you?' That’s what you said, right?”
You hummed in response, more keen on listening to him than speaking for yourself.
"Well. In that case, I promise that I'll never lift a finger against you in a violent way. From now on, my hands will only be used to love and adore you, my love. Do you understand?"
You felt the tears starting to form at the corners of your eyes again.
This promise of his was almost too good to be true.
"Y-yes, Jay," you hiccuped, face feeling hot from the breath you held, "I understand."
Suddenly, he pulled you close to him, tenderly connecting his lips with yours. You didn’t reject his kiss because for whatever reason, you craved his comforting.
He broke from the embrace, unlocking the door to reveal the oozing black that danced within the structure of the eerily familiar house. He nodded, initiating you to enter without his force. "I'll see you in two hours," he said as you noticed the six pairs of soulless eyes staring back at you. Your legs grew stiff, but Jay pushed you in, locking the door behind you before going about his evening.
You beat on the door like a mad woman, “Fu- ughh! Jay! Please don’t leave me in here with them,” you screamed desperately, shaking at the door knob in terror. You heard footsteps approaching you from behind before Heeseung, the eldest of the bunch, grabbed your shoulder viscously, pinning you against the cold door.
“Nice to see you again, cutie. I’m sure you remember me from our last encounter,” he grinned, leaning in to breathe his hot breath against your neck, “it’s funny how you smiled in my face while I thought about getting you in a position like this,” he bit down on your skin, “vulnerable, and so fucking pretty for me,” he groaned, harshly kissing at your neck.
Sunghoon pushed him out of the way, giving him a fed up expression, "and I’m sure you remember Jay’s rule.”
Heeseung wiped the wetness from his mouth, “yeah? And what rule was that, fun police?”
“That we’re allowed to mess around with her how we please as long as we avoid leaving any obvious bruises,” Jake finished, cringing at the teeth marks Heeseung left on your neck.
“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, “I should’ve went for the tits.”
You felt nauseous in the middle of all this, having to listen to the perverted boys debate on they'd abuse you. Niki made his way around the corner, walking in your direction.
He pouted back at you facetiously, punching you in the stomach and snickering as you fell to the ground, “you’re such a fucking crybaby,” he spat, grabbing you by the hair just to let you go harshly.
You looked around the dark room, noticing Sunoo standing in a corner alone, mirroring your anguish. You got up and ran to him, falling in his lap before weeping. “Sun, I know what I said to you, but-" your words were cut off by him pushing you away, the back of your head clashing with the hard floor.
“You don’t get to call me that anymore,” he bit back, walking over you as if you were a piece of trash, “finish her off, Jungwon. I don’t wanna have to hear her screams once you get started, so I’ll be outside.”
“Me, too,” Jake added, “I don’t have enough energy for the crybaby tonight,” he rolled his eyes, joining Sunoo outside.
“As you wish, hyung,” Jungwon grinned, grabbing you by the hands before dragging you to the center of the room. The four remaining boys huddled around you like kids in a candy store. Jungwon and Niki held your arms and legs down while Sunghoon kept your head in place.
Heeseung walked over with two large buckets of water, placing them down before coming over to straddle your frame. “How about we play a little game. As I'm sure you’ve learned, there's only one right answer,” he slithered, snaking a hand down to pinch the soft skin of your thigh.
"Your body will give me your answer before your mouth does,” he grinned as Sunghoon reached his hand over to cover your mouth. You fought under Niki and Jungwon’s grip, muffled screams rumbling from your throat.
“I’ve heard that most girls scream when they like it,” Sunghoon chuckled. Heeseung removed Sunghoon’s hand before forcing his tongue past your lips, his tongue fighting against yours.
Sunghoon tried holding your head in place, but he lost his grip as you shook away, biting down on Heeseung’s lip, “FUCK,” he grunted, tasting his own blood fill his mouth.
"She's definitely more of a fighter than a lover," Jungwon began amused, "maybe that's why Jay had so much trouble keeping her around."
By now, you had long forgotten about the large buckets of water sitting a few feet away until Heeseung’s weight left your body, grabbing one of the buckets before dumping it over your face in a stream that lasted thirty seconds.
You hiccuped on the water, struggling to fight the agonizingly steady stream.
“Jake, Sunoo!” Heeseung growled, calling the boys back in.
“Yeah, what’s up?” They asked in unison.
“I’m gonna need a lot more water,” Heeseung ordered, watching you pant for breath beneath him. “Any last words before they get back, because I’m afraid from here, you’ll only be able to burp for the next week," he snickered.
You shook your head violently, more so as a cry for help than an answer to his sadistic question. Heeseung grabbed the second bucket of water, cooing at your misery, "I guess you're choosing to end things on a cliff hanger, for now," Niki smirked, swapping places with Sunghoon so he could restrain your head movements.
That's when the second dry-drowning circuit began, Heeseung pouring the chilly water all over your face. This stream lasted longer than the last one, or maybe it just felt that way because you hadn't had the chance to catch your breath.
The devilish boys would continue to do this for another two hours until Jay came back, occasionally playing with your body in between sessions.
You were soaking wet and your skin seemed blue, considering that you actually passed out a few times from the abuse. Goosebumps stained the surface of your skin as if you they were permanent, feeling as though your life had been completely washed out of you.
Jay didn't bother hanging around at the house before guided you to his car, thanking his friends for “handling you" while he was away.
“So,” Jay began, driving you off to God knows where, “how were they?”
You picked at the skin of your nails, failing to get a hold of your nerves. Your dress was still damp from everything that happened, and your hair was a complete mess. You looked a wreck from the outside, but that hardly compared to the agony you were suffering from on the inside.
“Great,” you replied with a pleasant expression and tone, almost sounding genuine.
"You don't have to lie to me, love. You look dreadful," he admitted, resting a hand on the bumpy skin of your thigh.
"To look on the bright side, I'm sure you learned a very valuable lesson. Hmm?"
"Yes, I did," you replied, your eyes fixed on the dark city skyline ahead of you, lost in your pain.
"Lovely. Now let's get you home and cleaned up. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."
To be continued.
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☆ ᴀ/ɴ: in no way, shape, or form does this fanfic intend to romanticize unhealthy relationships or abusive behaviors. i simply write for entertainment and creative purposes. thus, reader discretion is always advised.
☆ taglist: @fanficfactoryfoxxx @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy @yngwife @03sunoos @kaykay11sworld @gigiramirezsblog @hoonsyo @en-thralled @haechansheart @night-en-shining-armor @cutiejseong @j-wyoung @rickysblkgf @bambangan @wonbyf @4imhry @zhangyi-johee @naddii @valhrts @tinyenha @lisaaannna @valentineluvr @heecries @espyluvsyou @tokusatsutoad @confuse20x @teddursa @riviyw @tamii4 @lovelycassy @addictedtohobi @gardenwons @nikipedia07 @tubatusoobs @03sunoos
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Text
Secret Smokes (Part 14)
Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.
Word Count: 2400
A/N: I haven't had time to proofread this one but I wanted to get it out in celebration of it being Remus's birthday today. Happy Birthday Moony.
 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |
Previous Chapter, Part 14, Next Chapter
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The trees outside were becoming greener, and the air a bit warmer. Remus and you would even sometimes take walks outside together to enjoy the sunshine, obviously distanced and acting appropriately. Acting appropriately was beginning to drain you as the honeymoon stages of being with Remus began to wear off.
January was filled with the thrill of being together and sneaking around, you got comfortable in February and now it was March. You were entering your third month of being exclusive, but not being anything, spending evenings together but barely ever sleeping in the same bed. No matter how much you enjoyed it you couldn't hide it was all becoming slightly draining. You longed for a date, to go the theatre like Remus once promised, to go for a walk and hold hands. To kiss in a public space.
"Any plans for the weekend?" You asked Remus as you strolled through the grass in the morning on Friday, you asked in the hope of finally going on a date again.
"I have a meeting with some members of the order, apparently there's rumours of activity between death eaters" He kept his hands firmly in his pockets. "What's your plans?" He looked at you with a gentle look of admiration as he spoke.
"I was thinking you could take me around London?" You asked slightly nervously.
"I'm sorry, not this weekend. There's too many people from the order around right now. Besides we shouldn't speak about this in public." His body was closed off as he looked around and spoke in a hush tone, it used to thrill you the secrecy, but it was beginning to hurt.
"When can we? You promised me the theatre." You said and he smiled gently.
"As soon as possible."
"When's that?" You pushed and Remus shook his head. "When it's less risky."
"Fine can I at least come officially meet Sirius?" You asked.
"I would like nothing more,"
"But?" You interrupted
"But, the order operates out of his house, and there's been more meetings recently, it's not safe for us to be hanging out there." He explained.
"What about your cottage? Or is that too risky too?" You tried your luck.
"That's actually a good idea, but," You rolled your eyes at Remus again. "I need time to make it habitable, it's a mess there. I'll go this weekend and depending on the progress soon we can go together." He explained and you nodded satisfied with getting at least somewhere. He looked around before continuing. "Tomorrow, after my meeting I'd love to see you. If that's okay? Although I don't know what time I will be back it would mean a lot to me if you were free." He almost whispered.
"Of course, if you won't take me out on a date at least we can have one here." You said and he offered a weak smile.
"Now tell me, how's your preparation for exams going?" He changed the subject now speaking in a louder tone and it felt more like spending time with Lupin than Remus. You enjoyed all sides of Remus J Lupin. You enjoyed learning his habits and quirks, you would sit in your DADA lesson and watch him intensely as he would tap his fingers on his wand when he was nervous. You could quite define what was going on between you both, on one hand he was very reserved, he wanted for you to come over to spend time together and then for you to leave, like you were a way for him to have company. On the other hand he was passionate, he talked about his dreams of showing you the world, about how he saw the future it made you feel like maybe you were special to him. You spent the day alone waiting for Remus to come back, every few hours you would walk past his office to find out if he was back yet no sign of him. It was getting late and you were begging to believe he won't come back today and you wasted your evening waiting for him.
Finally around nine pm as you walked back to your dorm from his office you saw him walking in your direction towards his office, you smiled at the sight of him. He was very dressed up in a nice shirt and blazer, he looked like he really cared about his appearance today as he went to the meeting. You didn't really understand why he got so dressed up to see the order or why his "meeting" lasted all Saturday. He greeted you in the corridor with a nod and you turned around walking side by side to his office. "Hello Professor." You said with a playful tone.
"Hi Y/N, I know it's Saturday but do you mind coming to have a quick discussion with me in the office?" He asked with a smirk on his face.
"My pleasure." You said as he held the door open for you and you stepped inside.
"Hello my dear." He said as soon as the door closed and he leaned in to kiss you. "Sorry for running so late, everyone couldn't stop talking I left as soon as I could." He explained as you walked up the stairs to his office.
"You look really nice." You pointed out.
"I've got to impress you, how else would I keep you interested in boring old me." He said, at this moment you clicked the thing you could smell was fire whiskey, he had been drinking.
"Do you often drink at important meetings?" You asked, a sting of jealousy on your tongue.
"Only when they run late," He explained as he poured two drinks and you sat down.
"I waited for you like an idiot all evening." You explained feeling upset by how you ruined your day waiting while he was drinking and dressing up for a meeting.
"I'm sorry, dear, I tried to leave as soon as the meeting finished but everyone wanted to talk, they wanted to talk to me, which rarely happens, you know how I talk and people lose interest well this one time when I wanted them to not listed they did listen. But I wanted to come back to you this whole evening. Anyway we're here now and I can bore you instead of them." He gave you a soft kiss on your cheek as he sat down next to you.
"So tell me about your cottage." You said making yourself comfortable on the couch, with your legs crossed and your drink in hand.
"What do you want to know?" He re-adjusted himself to face you as he sat on the opposite end of the sofa and music played in the background, he had his favourite vinyl on which filled the room with positivity even if your conversations didn't start on a good note.
"I don't know, we always just talk about music and me, I feel like I barely know you."
"I'm an open book."
"That's a lie."
"What do you want to know?" He said gently ignoring your remark.
"Did you grow up there?" You snapped.
"In the cottage? No, god, no." He snapped back instantly looking down at his glass with the last three words.
"So where did you grow up?"
"Everywhere, we moved around a lot because of my condition. Listen Y/N I would rather not talk about this today. Ask me any other day and I'll tell you, today I want to listen to some records, hold you in my arms and sip some expensive whiskey." He said putting an arm around you and pulling you closer.
"So you'll speak to others all night but all you want is to sit next to me and listen to music?"
"I also want to kiss you." He said planting a light kiss on your lips making you blush.
"Remus, I feel like you don't want to let me into your life."
"You are in my life, dear. I spend more time with you than anyone else. The last time I was around someone so much it was Sirius and I was your age."
"Yet you won't even let me meet Sirius." You left his embrace sitting on the opposite side of the sofa.
"Y/N, we spoke about this..." he said sitting up himself.
"What are we?"
"I don't know." He said slightly defeated.
"Are we dating?"
"No." He replied calmly but instantly without time to even process the question .
"But we're exclusive?" You asked after a moment of thinking
"Yes." Once again instantly.
"Why?"
"Because I can't bear the thought of anyone else kissing you."
"Why won't you date me?"
"Because I'm your teacher." He didn't break eye contact.
"Bullshit. You've crossed that line too many times for it to matter, why?"
"Because it's me. Y/N, I wouldn't want to curse anyone with me, especially not you. You don't understand what I am..."
"I do Remus, and I don't care so drop this self destructive attitude and let yourself feel happy."
"I want you to feel happy!" He almost shouted but controlled himself. "I am sacrificing my job for you to be happy-"
"Yes because you don't get any enjoyment out of it, you're just having sex with me and inviting me over for my enjoyment." You snarked back and he rested his head in his hand as he massaged his temple trying to find the right words to say.
"Y/N, you know what I mean. I care about you, I am smitten by you. But it would be selfish of me to decide to date you to call you mine. You're a young witch, you have so much potential. I have to change jobs before people realise my condition, I am always moving, I'm not safe, and I'm not safe to be around. I want to keep you safe and happy, I don't want to ruin your future by people finding out you're dating not only your teacher but a werwolf."
"Selfish is you not giving me a chance. Do you know what would make me happy? If you held my hand. The day you took me to the British Museum was one of the best days I've ever had, I was so happy, you can offer me happiness but you decide not to. You would know all this if you weren't too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice." You now raised your voice a little bit too much.
"This isn't how I wanted this evening to go." He simply said looking down at his feet almost defeated.
"I'm sorry but you can't keep running from this conversation Lupin it's March, am I just your plaything or do you hate yourself so much that you truly won't allow yourself to feel okay for a moment?"
"Dear, can we just come back to this tomorrow when you're more calm and I'm more sober?" He asked with a soft tone that contrasted your own.
"Maybe I should go." You said standing up and gathering your belongings.
"Dear-" he began as he stood up and followed you towards the door.
"No Remus, I'm not going to allow you to hurt me with your mistaken nobility, the worst part is you truly think you're doting the right thing." You said emotions getting the best of you.
"Y/N. Please stay." He placed his hand on the door to stop you from opening it.
"Why? Why are you so desperate for me to stay when you won't talk to me about anything real."
"Because it's my birthday..." he said and it hit you like a wall of bricks.
"Remus I'm so sorry-" you began but he seemed dismissive.
"Actually I believe it may be best if you do leave," Remus said letting go of the wall and walking to sit back down, downing the rest of his drink and closing his eyes as he sat there not looking your way.
"Yes I should go, we should go. Let's go to London."
"What?" He shot a confused look at you.
"Let's go, what are we doing wasting away here? Do you really want to spend your birthday sitting here like every other evening? Or do you want to celebrate?"
"I don't celebrate my birthday, I just don't want to be alone this year."
"Why isn't Sirius here?"
"Because I already saw him, they bought out a cake and sang me happy birthday at the meeting. I didn't like the attention but it was nice if Sirius to organise it, but I told them I just want to sit at home today."
"No let's celebrate!" You insisted sitting down next to him and putting hands on his knee.
"I told you I don't want to I just want to sit here and have a nice, normal, evening with you." He said sternly, his body stiff.
"Remus, why didn't you tell me it's your birthday?"
"Because I didn't want you to react like this, it's not important, I didn't want a cake, I didn't want people singing happy birthday, I just wanted to sit with you here and feel normal and happy." He explained it felt like he was lecturing you.
"I don't understand..."
"No you wouldn't would you?" He stood up moving your hand off his knee and walking away to go top up his glass before he continued speaking. "I didn't want to be reminded another year has passed, another year where there no cure, another year where each month is a curse, another year my mother is dead, my friends are dead. Another year closer to loosing my father, to loosing Sirius and another job. What is so fun about celebrating this?"
"Because it's about celebrating the person you are." You emphasised walking over to him, you stood in front of him looking up at him hoping he would kiss you as you moved up your him standing on your toes.
"There's nothing to celebrate about me." He said walking past you to sit on his office chair. You followed right behind him.
"Yes there is Remus. You're amazing, do you really think I'd be waiting for you all evening if you weren't worth celebrating." You moved in closer invading his personal space and straddling him on his desk chair. His body shifted below you as he cleared your throat, you could feel his penis twitch as he was begging to get hard. "I'm sorry Y/N, I think you should leave." He said almost whispering. You looked into his eyes for a moment before storming out. "Self destructive asshole" you murmured as you slammed his office door behind you.
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NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote
A/N: sorry for the angst I had to do it.
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cher-rei · 1 month
Note
hey could u do a comfort fic with trent alexander arnold where he’s maybe read stuff on the internet about him that are very hateful and the reader comforts him
reflection— [ T.A.A ]
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but I love that man like nobody can [how to disappear- lana del rey]
pairing: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader
summary: after his injury, comments start to flood trent's mind and you want nothing more than to make sure he knows that they aren't true.
genre(s): established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
[wc: 2.3k] masterlist
notes: while I'm writing this I can't stop thinking about cody and the amount of hate he's getting because of the united match. he's human too and the fact that people are going to his instragram and commenting the most horrible things about him and telling him to leave the club genuinely hurts my heart because he's so sweet and doesn't deserve any of this. it's normal for footballers to make mistakes and they have their bad days, but putting them down isn't going to make the situation any better. we're supposed to be supporting the team and not blaming individuals for a loss </3
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it's strange how the people that swear that they're a clubs supporter can switch up on players over something as minuscule as missing a goal or losing a tackle. it's the way players get dragged for making human mistakes, but because of the pedestals they're put on it adds even more pressure.
the comparing of players, telling them to leave their clubs and so much more pile up on the list of hate they get. no matter how good of a footballer you were there was always going to hate thrown your way, chipping away at your self esteem ever so slowly.
trent was headstrong, he knew who he was and hardly took harsh comments and criticism to heart. it was one of the many things you admired about your boyfriend, the way that he was able to be better and prove people wrong so effortlessly.
but he was only human after all, and it was bound to get to him at some point. it was after his first match back after injury that everything happened. he acquired the knee injury against arsenal in january, recalling the exact moment you saw him limping and biting his jersey to ease the pain.
you were in the stands obviously, worried sick but he wasn't subbed off for whatever reason. while everyone was rejoicing the win you couldn't bring yourself to forget about his knee, immediately rushing to the tunnel so you could see him.
trent swore that he was fine but you were absolutely furious that he still played the full 90 minutes instead of asking for the medics to at least check up on him. that was water undet the bridge however, and he was put off for three weeks but even then you felt that it was too little recovery time.
and you were right of course but he was eager to be on the pitch again. you couldn't pass judgement there because of course he missed playing, he felt horrible for being at home and not having any way to contributing to the teams victories. so when they gave him the green light for the match against burnley he was ecstatic.
and you were happy for him, but that didn't push your worry to the back of your mind. and then it went south when he was subbed off before half time because he wasn't playing at his best. the entire time he was on the bench he was silent, his thoughts running wild and his heart heavy with disappointment.
you were watching the match from home so you immediate reaction was to message him, his dull responses taking shots at your heart.
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when he got home that evening your heart shattered seeing him look so beaten up. all he did was drop his bags and come to lay with you on the couch, his head resting on your chest while you reassured him that everything was going to be fine.
trent barely spoke a word to you until the following afternoon when he got back from his physio assessment, in an even worse state than when he left. he was limping, his head hung low and motivation to do anything at its lowest.
you knew that he just needed some time alone before you tackled the situation, so you gave him his necessary space until he was ready to talk. but then the evening came when his side of the bed was empty, and when you checked your phone you were even more surprised to see that it was only 2 a.m.
you got out of bed in panic, immediately rushing downstairs to look for trent but all the lights were off. he wasn't in the kitchen, the living room or even in the backyard. by now your thoughts were running wild, shear panic settling on your chest until you heard the front door unlock.
trent walked in, his lips pursed. "why are you awake?" he took a few steps closer to you, confusion settling on his face. "do you know what time it is?"
a dry scoff left your lips in disbelief. "I could ask you the same thing."
he went silent, not knowing what to say except apologise but you were fed up. you gave him his space and kept your worry to yourself, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did but your patience wore thin.
your expression hardened at the recollection of how distant he'd been the past week. "talk to me. please."
"there's nothing to talk about, I'm fine--"
"--that's absolute bullshit" your tone was harsh and it took him by surprise because you rarely raised your voice at anyone, let alone him.
he took a few weary steps closer only to see the tears walking up in your eyes. oh shit, what has he done.
"no baby why are you crying?" he asked soothingly and pulled you into his embrace, his hands gently stroking your back in comfort. his heart sunk at the few sniffles from your side, he couldn't believe that his injury had you crying.
you tightened your arms around his torso, an overwhelming feeling of hurt washing over you the more he comforted you. "because you're hurt."
he sighed. "and I'm getting better. the recovery is going well honey."
you shook your head against his chest. "I'm not talking about your knee trent." you finally pulled away to look up at him with teary eyes, which didn't make him feel any better.
"I know you read the comments, and I know that you're taking them to heart this time but--" you swallowed the bile in your throat, the mere thought of all the hurtful comments having you sick to your stomach. "--but you're not talking to me about it and it makes me feel horrible because they're not true."
trent's heart had just been shattered to pieces, his lips parted in shock because you knew him so damn well. he had been reading the comments, and at first it didn't mean much but the more they came about, the harder it was to push it aside.
honestly the worse 45 minutes anyone had played this season. trent has exited his prime and it's showing.
this is who you guys call the best right back in the league?? have you seen that match against burnley? kyle walker over this dude any day.
he was good until he wasn't. sorry not sorry.
I'm sorry what was that play?? all he had to do was keep the ball for more than 2 seconds. this guy is a joke.
nah get this man out of my club, I can't anymore.
trent my man this is burnley we're talking about. what are you doing??
he's seen it all. and for the first time in years he let the negative comments get to him even though he knew better. and now here you were, standing in front of him teary eyed in the middle of the night because he wasn't man enough to talk to you— his own damn girlfriend.
a heavy sigh disturbed the silence and that was an indicator to you that he was ready to talk. he took your hand and lead you to the couch, making sure that you were settled down comfortably in front of him.
"you know when we played city the away fans were yelling at me when I went to take the corner," he began with a half hearted laugh. "apparently I'm a shit kyle walker."
your grip tightened on his hand instinctively, but you remained silent and listened to him express his concerns and thoughts on the entire ordeal. he brushed the kyle walker thing off and said that he found it rather amusing instead of hurtful.
"but after the arsenal game when I hurt my knee something just snapped I guess. and you were so worried when I got home too so I just wanted to get better because I don't want you to panic over my injuries."
a lump formed in your throat, the tears resurfacing but trent was quick to wipe them away. "and now people are saying that I played like absolute shit against burnley," he shook his head. "which is true by the way."
this was were you grew defensive. "you just came back from injury of course you weren't going to be in the best shape trent."
his eyebrows raised for a moment, a soft chuckle leaving his lips but you didn't find it funny at all. "ever since this whole thing you've been saying my name an awful lot."
that was surprisingly true. you were upset so of course you weren't going to call him something endearing. you were upset!
you cocked you head to the side, a judgemental look on your face that trent didn't want to worsen so he carried on talking. you weren't going to bed until he had everything out.
"anyway," he chuckled. "I've just been feeling really anxious and self conscious because what if they're telling the truth you know? like okay I score goals and I play well but what if that's just me thinking that?"
his breathing had begun to pick up and you were quick to notice, and alarm going off in your mind and telling you that he was nearing tears. trent groaned in frustration and shut his eyes in attempt to push the tears back.
he bent over to put his hands on his knees to try and calm himself down before you started crying as well. your hand was running up and down his back soothingly, only for him to get back up and take refuge in your arms.
everything was finally starting to pool out, and it broke you knowing that he felt this way and hadn't spoken to you because he didn't want you to worry. the dark living room was filled with his silent sobs that you tried to ease until your own started to fall.
you shut your eyes and held trent as close to you as possible, your shirt slightly wet because of his tears. you wondered how the other players felt when something similar happened to them, if they broke down in their partners' arms as well.
it wasn't easy for them to welcome the vulnerability you assumed— especially if it were over something like hate comments. but it was difficult and they were only trying their best.
"It's okay if you cry baby. there's no need to apologise," you hushed when he said sorry. "It's normal to feel this way, you're human too and I can't tell you not to let those things get to your head but they're not true."
his silent sobs came to a subtle halt but his head remained on your shoulder as he listened to you speak so softly, telling him that everything was okay.
"you know what you're capable of so don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. as long as you know that you have people who support you and are rooting for you, nothing else should matter," you retorted reassuringly in hopes that it would help him realise that he didn't have to worry about things he couldn't control.
it was out of his hands, he lead the arsenal match in pain like a proper leader and that showed immense strength. instead of giving up he pulled through and made sure that the team were at their best before thinking about himself.
you put a small kiss to his temple. "I'm so proud of you. every single waking moment of every day, no matter what happens— I will always be proud of you for doing what you can."
this made trent smile when he finally got up to look at you with glossy eyes. "really?"
you nodded eagerly. "you breathe and I want to scream 'that's my boyfriend'."
that got a laugh out of him and he felt his heart strings tug. he loved you so much for standing by his side no matter what, for being patient and for just being you. he was grateful beyond comprehension and sometimes he felt that he didn't express his love for you the correct amount.
you deserved so much and here you were comforting him at the dead of night because he got insecure. his heart was overflowing just for you.
trent put his hand on your cheek and wiped away the stray tear that fell. "I'm sorry for making you worry. if I do it again just kick me out."
you laughed and his heart exploded. "oh definitely. pull a stunt like this again and I'll feed you to the wolves."
his eyes widened a fraction. "okay that's a bit too far."
you disagreed wholeheartedly and told him that it was the only correct form of punishment for the heart attacks that he gave you. "my heart broke like five times in this past week trent, so no."
he hummed and leant in for a kiss. "I'll fix it again I promise."
you felt yourself melt at the touch of his lips on yours— a tender kiss that held so much sincerity and love, an apology slipping through along with a silent I love you.
he pulled away and took a moment to look at you, drinking in every bit of your presence silently to which you hit him on the arm, a giddy smile and blush having you weak in the knees whereas he was mesmerised, not even realising that you had been trying to get his attention for a bit.
"earth to trent," you called and waved your hand in front of your face but he quickly caught it and pulled you closer to him, a yelp leaving your mouth before laughing.
"call me trent one more time and we're going to have a problem," he said through a smile but you just played along, finding it amusing.
"oh really?" your tone was playful and he wasn't having any of it. "well trent wouldn't-- ah!"
your boyfriend had you lying on the couch in a fit of giggles, him hovering over you as he tickled you but stopping every so often to litter kisses on your face which you weren't fighting at all. because everyone needed a little love, right?
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hugshughes · 1 month
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Casual J. McCarthy
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JJ McCarthy x fem!reader
synopsis - Although your relationship with JJ has always been categorized as no strings attached, the way he makes you feel is anything but casual.
wc - 4.6k
contains - she's angsty :( takes place in a universe where JJ and Katya broke up during like spring 2023!!! friends with benefits but more!!! "casual" relationship that acts like more, cursing, kissing, making out, reader's not great family life is mentioned once or twice, sex references (no elicit smut!), caught feelings, arguing, misunderstanding, shouting, eating, crying, hurt with comfort??? i think that's it!!! lmk!
an - wowwwwww this oneeeee. this took me so long to write like SO FUCKING LONG. started it, got sick, got better, wrote some more, got sick again, got better, THEN FINALLY FINISHED! ummmm idk... OH! i was surprised with tickets to Olivia Rodrigo and flew out to her Charlotte show A WEEK AFTER I COME BACK FROM THERE FOR SPRING BREAK to go with my favorite person ever! and Chappell Roan is her opener currently and SHE PLAYED CASUAL AND I CRIED.
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my friends call me a loser, 'cause i'm still hanging around.
You often got shit from your friends over your relationship with JJ McCarthy. If you could even truly call it a relationship. The two of you had gotten "together" around the beginning of the school year. He'd followed you on Instagram after meeting at a party. How romantic?
He and his long term girlfriend, Katya had broken up about 6 months prior and the boy was not ready for another true commitment of any kind. You'd also gotten dumped by your boyfriend of over two years over the summer, so honestly neither were you.
You two were strictly casual. Just two not quite friends but also definitely not dating kids who made out and fucked, but also cuddled and kissed each other with no sinful intentions. He took you on dates but God forbid you call him your boyfriend.
i've heard so many rumors, that i'm just a girl that you bang on your couch.
You knew people talked about you two. Girls at parties and in random classes in hushed conversations while they glared into the back of your skulls.
"No, she's not like his girlfriend. She's like his no strings attached side piece or something."
Your eye twitched when you heard it whispered all too loudly behind you in a marketing class. You sighed and shrunk into your chair, reminding yourself that you were gonna private your Instagram.
JJ treated you like his girlfriend, point-blank. It wasn't even like a switch from in private to in public. He always did. But nevertheless he always said that it was all informal. There had been many nights where you stayed up questioning it all. Was you falling sleep on his chest while he played with your hair and kissed your head just another Saturday night for him?
i thought you thought of me better. someone you couldn't lose.
JJ made you feel special, like you were special to him. Special was something you didn't feel often, not after how your ex treated you. You were lucky to even get the bare minimum from him, yet you stayed because he made you believe that was what you deserved.
You and JJ both truly cared about each other. Even though you two were not together, you guys did everything two people that were together did. You went on dates, went together everywhere, cuddled, kissed, had long conversations. It was hard to not imagine how it would feel for him to really be your boyfriend.
You remember the night JJ unknowingly broke your heart. You were at a party, and you'd left to get drinks for the two of you. You were walking back over when you heard one of JJ's friends ask a stupid question.
"Where's your little girlfriend, Jay?"
"Oh, we're not together."
you said "we're not together". so now when we kiss, i have anger issues.
He laughed awkwardly as he said it, rubbing the back of his neck. You turned around and explored the rest of the party for a little while before going back over to JJ. When you returned and stuck a can in his hand, he pulled your arm towards him and kissed you deeply. It was a good kiss, all kisses with JJ were, but it left you hurting.
you said, "baby, no attachment",
It was always the same with JJ. There would be a long while where you and him were in a blissful and amazing haze of acting like a couple without having to be one. Then someone would ruin everything by asking if you were together, causing you two to realize you acted too much like a couple.
You and JJ trusted each other entirely. You'd seen every inch of each other. Helped each other through the bad days, all of it. You'd held him in your arms while he cried over the pressure he felt because of football. You cheered him on at every game. You spent countless nights in each other's beds. He listened while you talked for hours about problems with your family.
but we're... knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.
You'd done stuff with JJ you'd never have the heart to repeat to anyone. You got closer to each other than you'd ever been with anyone else, and still there was a strict separation between you.
Your head often drifted to one of the many nights you spent in intimacy with JJ. Flashes of you in the backseat of his truck, in his bed, his shower, all of the above. You never let the words JJ said to you while he groaned above you in bed get to your head. You wanted to believe them, but knew you were better off to not. He made you the happiest you'd ever been while also making you completely miserable sometimes.
is it casual now?
Over the winter JJ had even brought you to dinner with his family. You'd met his parents, and his sisters, and they immediately fell in love with you. They assumed you were his girlfriend, though he never actually said that. They were so glad to see their boy so incredibly happy after being in the dumps over Katya all summer.
You remember at that same dinner freezing in your seat when his mom had what she felt was a bright idea.
"Oh, JJ, she should come to the beach this summer!"
You had to awkwardly laugh it off, throwing a joking 'Maybe!' out as his sisters boasted about how that was a great idea. JJ smiled uncouthly, laughing and carelessly nodding his head. You knew that topic would never be brought up, JJ would definitely not be asking you to spend the summer with him.
two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach. is it casual now?
You liked to pretend he was your boyfriend, it wasn't that hard most of the time. You were exclusive with each other, that was made clear at the beginning of your "relationship". JJ said something about how he wasn't the type to see more than one girl, and that you were that girl for him.
You were the one with him when he won the National Championship. He'd invited you to sit with his family. Like, what the fuck? How were you supposed to not be in love with him?
You knew JJ only wanted something casual. You tried not to think about how he was probably just with you to get over his ex. He told you about her, sometimes. He said how he thought he was gonna marry her, but she didn't want that. You couldn't imagine why. JJ was everything you'd ever need in a man. He was stable, and loyal, and made you laugh so hard you cried. He cared for you, no matter the status of your relationship.
i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now. but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, it's casual now.
What you had going on with JJ was great, and you were in no position to ruin it with your stupid feelings. You didn't really care what you were, as long as it was with JJ.
Now you were getting ready to go over to JJ's apartment for the night. He invited you over a couple hours ago, telling you he wanted to watch some movies and hang out with you. Of course you said yes, how could you not? He'd just finished up with the NFL Combine a couple days ago. And spring break had just ended so you hadn't seen him since before then, you were excited.
You adjusted your hair for the fourteenth time before you were satisfied. You would only be going from your place to the car to JJ's apartment. You still wanted him to think you looked good, good enough to be more than just his fling.
You grabbed your small overnight bag filled with the barebones of your necessities and left your apartment, swiftly locking the door behind you.
You listened to low music while you drove lowly through the college town. It was only a seven minute drive, so you got there right away. You parked your car and sat for a second as you were overcome with a random wave of dejection. You took a deep breath, your brain reminding your heart not to get too excited. You shook off the feeling, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat and exiting your car, locking it behind you.
You knocked lightly on the door you'd walked through all too many times. Barely ten seconds passed before the door opened, a bubbly dirty blonde with the cutest smile you'd ever seen standing opposite you. JJ immediately grabbed you by the hips, pulling you to hug him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your head into his shoulder. You let yourself believe all the stupid fantasies for just a second.
dumb love, i love being stupid.
"Missed you, gorgeous."
dream of us in a year.
You shut your eyes, squeezing him. He giggled, turning his head to kiss your neck. You felt his smile against your flushed skin.
"I missed you."
He held you tighter, pulling away to kiss your forehead and grab your hand. He shut the door behind you and pulled you further into his apartment. He led you to his bedroom before dropping your hand, turning to go back to the front of the apartment. You dropped your bag next to his bathroom door before taking your shoes off and tucking them just underneath his bed so they were out of the way.
maybe we'd have an apartment. and you'd show me off to your friends at the pier.
"How're you doin' pretty?"
JJ's voice echoed from the kitchen, you could literally hear his smile.
"'M doin' okay! Nothing new, y'know."
JJ heard something different in your voice. Something other than happiness, which obviously concerned him. You sat back on his bed, sighing.
"What's wrong? Sure you're good?"
"Yeah, it's fine! Some shit happened over spring break so I've just been a little out of it is all. Don't worry!"
The blonde came through the doorway again, this time holding a plastic bag with a logo you knew all too well. You gave him a smile that didn't aid his now worried mind.
"What happened? You could've called me."
"Oh come on, Jay. You were literally at the NFL Combine. I was not about to distract you with my stupid problems."
It's not like I'm your girlfriend. JJ shook his head as he sat the bag next to you, turning to open his closet door and rummage through his clothes.
"You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know."
i know, "baby, no attachment." but we're...
You winced, fuck. The man you were certain you were in love with just 100% friend zoned you. Just his best friend that he kissed, laid skin to skin with, told his family about.
knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.
"I know! But still, you're Mr. National Champion and I'm not gonna bother you with dumb things."
"You're never bothering me. You don't bother me."
He came out of his closet, now shirtless and in new sweatpants. His eyes found yours and he raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to agree with him.
"Okay, okay, whatever. Come eat."
He climbed over you onto "his" side of his bed. You ate while asking him about the combine, as if you hadn't watched the videos of JJ's performance. You definitely appreciated how he looked in his tight red shirt.
"It was fun, nerve wracking as hell though. Kinda like made me realize that like I actually am going to the NFL. It's a lot closer than it feels."
He could say that again. You knew your time with JJ was coming to its end. Whenever he got drafted to an NFL team he wasn't gonna keep wanting a random girl from his old college. Not one that wasn't actually his girlfriend or anything. He'd find another one very quickly, you knew it.
"That's so scary. I couldn't imagine that. Having so many people depend on you for their happiness is too much. But you're good at it."
He threw you a smile, moving closer to you.
"I just love it. It's so fun for me. Obviously not like losing but having so much support is actually really nice sometimes."
You nodded, trying to fathom how it was possible for the boy to be so positive always. You both were done eating so JJ took all of your trash and threw everything into the garbage. When he came back he pulled you closer to him, your head on his shoulder and your back to his chest.
"But enough about football. How was spring break? D'you have fun?"
"Um, yeah! For the most part it was really fun. Florida was fun but when I went home for the last three days it was honestly the worst. My mom was so mean for no reason the whole time, I don't know."
He ran his hands over the tops of your thighs before wrapping his arms around your hips. He kissed the side of your head sweetly, not moving as he spoke into your hair.
"'M sorry baby. Y'don't deserve that."
"Eh it's whatever. I'm used to her not being my biggest fan at this point."
JJ felt so bad. He couldn't relate to you on this level. He'd never know what it feels like to not have good parents.
"Well if it helps any, my mom's your biggest fan, to be completely honest. She keeps texting me to make sure you know you're invited to the beach this summer."
two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach.
It comforted and hurt you all the same. There's no way you could accept that invitation, no matter how sweet it was. You couldn't survive a week with his family while still only being casual. No way in hell.
"That's really sweet, Jay."
You shifted in his arms, turning so your cheek laid against his bare chest. You smiled and lightly kissed his pec.
is it casual now?
"So, what are we watching, Jay?"
"Whatever you want."
It was just another small thing that made you fall harder for him. You didn't know how much longer you could pretend like you didn't want him more than physically.
"How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days?"
"Are you plotting or somethin'?"
You can't lose something that isn't yours. Your smile faltered but you let out a forced giggle, telling JJ to just play the movie. You watched the majority of the movie in silence, answering JJ's questions whenever he had them. At some point the movie got boring, you'd seen it a million times before. You started running your nails over JJ's pec, unknowingly distracting him. He traced his hand up your back and to your hand on his chest, interlocking his with yours.
i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now.
You leaned away from him just a bit to look him in the eyes. You stared at each other for just a few seconds, just until JJ took his hand out of yours, grabbing ahold of your jaw. The thoughts filling your mind seemed to quiet down as JJ kissed you. The kiss quickly grew hot as JJ's hands traveled back down your body. Your tongue hit the seam of his lips, a downright immoral sound leaving his mouth.
You shifted onto your knees over JJ, the connection between you persistent. Your hands ran through his hair, tugging slightly at the dirty blonde locks.
but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, oh, oh, oh.
Your chest pressed against his as he pulled you closer, leaving no space between you. Every move of JJ's mouth and hands cushioned your spiraling thoughts, muting them. Your could focus your thinking on nothing but the physicality of the situation. Until JJ shifted his hands to the curve of your ass and gentley moved so your back was flush with his comforter, the quarterback kneeling over you. It was the position change as much as what he groaned out when your lips parted for just a moment that had you stopping in your tracks.
"Fuck, my girl."
His girl. His girl? How could you be his girl? You didn't mean to hesitate in your kiss with JJ but you did, pausing for just a second. Though it was long enough for JJ to notice and immediately grow concerned. He pulled back from you, his eyes full of worry. Did you not want this?
"Hey, what's wrong? We don't have to do anything, you know that. Right? Sorry I got carried away, baby."
He comforted you immediately, like a man who loved you would. Not like a no strings attached fuck friend would. It soothed you but also made you ache even more. Why did he have to act like he cared? It wasn't fair.
"No, Jay. Sorry, it's fine. I just,"
You trailed off, wanting to hide from his concerned blue eyes. You kind of wished he'd get pissed off that you were hesitant, asking 'The fuck is wrong with you?' instead of being the most gentle and loving person you'd ever known.
"Hey, it's more than okay. Alright? Is something else wrong?"
Yes. Something else was wrong. You're in love with JJ but he's unattainable. You wondered if he knew, if he knew and was still treating you the same just to keep you loyal. Your silence proved JJ right, something was seriously wrong.
"Talk to me, okay? I wanna make you feel better."
You finally looked into his eyes. He was now next to you, laying on his side, confused and concerned.
This is where it ends, you told yourself. There really wasn't a way around telling him, and all you could do was imagine his reaction. You sat up, crossing your legs and looking down at your hands. How the fuck were you supposed to start this? Do you just break it off with no explanation, or let him do it after you tell him you're in love?
"Well I just, I don't know if I can do this anymore, JJ. And I'm sorry, I really-"
"What? That's really not what I thought this was about."
He was shocked, his chest tightened as he leaned away from you, moving off the bed to stand. He crossed his arms over his chest for some comfort.
it's hard being casual, when my favorite bra lives in your dresser.
"JJ, I'm sorry, really. I just, we're supposed to be strictly casual and it's honestly kinda hard when we're so close to each other. Like a quarter of my clothes are in your closet! It's just kind of a lot."
You too stood from his bed, now standing on opposite sides. You didn't want to hurt JJ, but it would only hurt you worse and worse in the end if you kept letting yourself indulge in him.
"Baby, what changed? I thought everything was fine the way it was."
it's hard being casual, when i'm on the phone talking down your sister.
"Jayj, it's just kind of a lot of pressure. Like, we FaceTime your sister when we hang out! Your mom invited me to your summer vacation! Like how is that casual?"
JJ stood there, astounded. He was shocked you felt this way. He thought everything was better than okay. He would've never guessed it all felt too relationship-y for you.
"So, what? Are you like breaking up with me, or?"
"That's exactly my point, JJ! What do you mean by breaking up? There's nothing solid in between us! Our quote unquote label is 'friends that fuck but also sometimes just lay skin to skin and talk for hours on end'. That's fucking confusing JJ! I don't get you!"
and i try to be the chill girl, that holds her tongue and gives you space. i try to be the chill girl but, honestly, i'm not.
Your volume rose as felt tears pricking behind your waterline. You brought your hands to your eyes, rubbing aggressively with the heel of your palms. JJ was so hurt. He didn't think of you as just something casual, not since the very beginning had he thought you two were just random and informal. He knew you two weren't a couple, but he didn't think of you as anything near just his fuck buddy. Watching you, obviously distraught, almost crying in his bedroom over him being too much of a boyfriend had JJ rethinking himself.
"Am I too much? I thought we were more than that to you. I thought I was more than that."
"You are! You are and it's ruining my fucking life!"
knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out. two weeks and your mom invites me, to her long beach house. i know what you tell your friends. baby, get me off again.
You shouted, tears starting to fall down your face. You tried to wipe them away as you hiccuped, cutting JJ off before he could respond.
"You tell me all you want is something casual so that's what I give you! I was there when you needed it, I left you alone otherwise. But then you just didn't let me go! You make me feel important! And like I'm special to you, then I hear you tell your friends we're nothing serious! I met your family, I went to your championship game and sat with them! Do you know how fucked that is? To tell a girl that is obviously invested in you that she means something to you then doing that! I just- I really wanted you to like me, for real. And you act like you do! But I know you don't really care about what we are. I can't pretend to not like you more than that, JJ. It's not fair anymore."
i fucked you in the bathroom, when we went to dinner.
Holy shit. You'd just practically told JJ you were in love with him. He was even more confused now, was this a joke?
your parents at the table, you wonder why i'm bitter?
"What are you talking about? This hasn't been casual to me since fucking October! I do this shit because I like you! Like, I really like you! You know, before I got broken up with in February last year, I thought I was ready to fuckin' marry her. And then seven months later you come into my life, and you're supposed to be this girl that I'm not really committed to, and that distracts me from how hurt I am. But, I'm more in love with you than I ever was with her! And I thought I would spend my entire fuckin' life with her! Do you know how scary that is? That someone I've known for barely seven months is making me feel more than the girl I dated for years! I'm terrified, it fucking sucks!"
bragging to your friends, i get off when you hit it. i hate to tell the truth, but i'm sorry dude you didn't.
Your mouth fell open, pupils constricting under the haze of tears. JJ just told you he was more in love with you than the girl he thought was gonna be his wife. His tears were flowing by the end of his emotional outburst. He buried his head in his hands, turning away from you.
You couldn't believe what you'd heard. The boy you were convinced didn't want you enough to really have you had just poured his entire heart out over how much he loved you. You were in love just as hard.
You moved slowly around his bed, watching for signs of him shifting again. You gently grabbed his wrists, urging his hands from his face. You jumped to throw your arms around his neck, wrapping him in a hug. His arms wrapped around you so tightly, he cried into your shoulder.
i hate that i let this drag on so long. now, i hate myself.
"I'm sorry."
"'M so sorry."
You both let out your apologies at the same time, causing JJ to let out a wet giggle into the crook of your neck.
"I just love you so much."
Your heart squeezed as JJ spoke into your shoulder, teary and sweet. You loved him just as much. You couldn't believe what was happening.
"I've been in love with you since you took me to the lake."
You whispered it slowly, muffled by his shoulder. On that chilly day in November JJ had driven you guys an hour or so to the coast of the nearest Great Lake, Lake Erie. You ate of the sandy shore and watched the water. It was one of the first times you two were together where it really felt like you were boyfriend and girlfriend.
You'd realized he was the sweet and caring one you'd been waiting for for so long. And it ruined you.
JJ squeezed you tighter. A little sob mixed with a giggle shaking through him. He sniffed, kissing your neck gently.
"I didn't wanna believe I was in love with you, as obvious as it was. I was scared of really being in love after what had happened before. You were just so amazing, and kind, and you listened to me. I've been trying to push it away 'cause I didn't think it was how you felt. Which I can't believe you didn't just tell me, by the way."
You giggled now, pulling away from his shoulder to look at him, jaw dropping.
"Alright, Mr. I don't really need anything serious right now I'm still hurt over my ex. Yeah, sorry I never told you I was in love."
JJ just kissed you, and it felt so incredibly right. Kissing the boy you loved, in his bedroom, where half of your clothes lived. The boy who's whole family, including him, loved you and thought you were perfect for him. You smiled against his lips, you just couldn't help it.
"Can't believe you went from friend zoning me to telling me you loved me in two hours."
JJ pulled away from you abruptly, confusion filling his face.
"When did I friend zone you? I didn't do that!"
"'You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know.' It wasn't very soothing to a girl who was actively debating telling you she was in love with you."
"Well you are my best friend! But also the girl I want so, two for one."
You laughed, rolling your eyes playfully as you pulled him by his neck to kiss you. You both couldn't help it as you smirked and giggled into your kiss, hands and minds wandering.
JJ pulled back from you for just a second, causing you to groan.
"Can I be your boyfriend?"
Your annoyance was quickly replaced, your eyes widening. You just smiled and nodded pulling him back in.
"Duh."
Your boyfriend squeezed your ass at your playful response, kissing you deeper. Your head was spinning, JJ was finally yours, for real. You were his girlfriend and he was your boyfriend. And one day, you'd walk down the aisle with him waiting at the altar, not that either of you knew that now. So much for keeping your relationship casual?
i hate that i let this drag on so long. you can go to hell.
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pianocat939 · 10 months
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hearing you out on the yan pavitr
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YES PLEASE- ok I'm gonna start out this new thing where I separate things for romantic + platonic so people can scroll to different sections. (I'm such a good business person- /j)
I will copy and paste some of the headcanons because they apply both ways. So don't bother reading both unless if you want to because for the most part they're the same (with some light editing)
Tw: hardly any tbh-, delusional softie, uh- and breaking in
Yandere Pavitr Prabhakar
Type: Delusional + Clingy (This is really fucking obv ngl)
Romantic
Listen- He literally gives off so much delusional that I can't even tell you why he's delusional because it's literally written all over him omg. Now, the thing he is delusional about is you love him back. It's not in a malicious way; he genuinely thinks you love him.
He's not in any sort of way problematic or concerning with his actions/intentions. He'll be all caring and constantly giving you support. He's the type of guy who wakes up at five in the morning to go buy you a bouquet of flowers to greet you with when you get up.
If you try to push him away or express that you don't love him he just believes you're a troubled person and need more support in your life. Which means more affection from him. He is your therapist. He will be whether you like it or not because he is a softie and will continue to be a softie.
The only time I can see him getting the slightest bit aggressive is if he gets jealous. I'm not entirely sure yet because we haven't seen too much of any trauma or negative backstory to him (Uncle Ben's death canon event doesn't fucking count). I think he's about a medium level when it comes to how easily he gets jealous. Even then I don't think he would outwardly hurt anyone unless they've overstepped a boundary of his. He'll give them a slight threat or tie them up in webs for a while.
Now if anyone hurts you? Bro is going crazy- he will do everything to make the person surrender or maybe even die (if they've caused him enough anger) He'll worry so much if you get hurt. I wouldn't say he would overreact, but he definitely worries.
He is physically affectionate 100%. He will sneak in your window at night for snuggles. Imagine yourself standing at your window one night, knowing he'll come. He arrives and is about to slip inside when you frown and tell him no. He is going to give you the most heartbreaking face known to mankind.
He WILL call you embarrassing/cringe affectionate names. You can't convince me he doesn't.
"Jasmine flower! Look at the stuffie I got you!" *proceeds to hold up giant elephant stuffie*
Platonic
He literally gives off so much delusional that I can't even tell you why he's delusional because it's literally written all over him omg. Now, the thing he is delusional about is he thinks you wanna be friends with him. It's not in a malicious way; he genuinely thinks you guys are besties and constantly hang out. (tbh I feel anyone would be friends with him???)
He's not in any sort of way problematic or concerning with his actions/intentions. He'll be all caring and constantly giving you support. He's the type of guy who wakes up at five in the morning to go buy you your favourite drink or line up for a limited edition product.
If you try to push him away or express that you don't wanna be friends with him, he just believes you're a troubled person and need more support in your life. Which means more affection and suggesting hangouts or giving gifts from him. He is your therapist. He will be whether you like it or not, because he is a softie and will continue to be a softie.
The only time I can see him getting the slightest bit aggressive is if he gets jealous. I'm not entirely sure yet because we haven't seen too much of any trauma or negative backstory to him (Uncle Ben's death canon event doesn't fucking count). I think he's about a medium level when it comes to how easily he gets jealous. Even then I don't think he would outwardly hurt anyone unless they've overstepped a boundary of his. He'll give them a slight threat or tie them up in webs for a while.
Now if anyone hurts you? Bro is going crazy- he will do everything to make the person surrender or maybe even die (if they've caused him enough anger) He'll worry so much if you get hurt. I wouldn't say he would overreact, but he definitely worries.
He is a clinger 100%. He will sneak in your window at night for a hug and to talk about random things (he giggles a lot). Imagine yourself standing at your window one night, knowing he'll come. He arrives and is about to slip inside when you frown and tell him no. He is going to give you the most heartbreaking face known to mankind.
He WILL call you embarrassing/cringe affectionate names. You can't convince me he doesn't. Like Pookie Bear or just cringe names to call your best friend platonically cuz it's funny.
"My rat! Look! I have- WEBS!" *proceeds to shoot webs like it's a discovery even though he's known for six months*
——————————————————
That's all I got for now-
I still don't like Gwen.
- Celina
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shadowdaddies · 2 months
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So being sick with covid and being on my period at the same time is not fun so I was wondering if you haven't already done it a sick reader head cannon? With whatever Sarah J. Mass male you want or all of them whatever you want.
ah I'm so sorry you're sick love! covid definitely seems to be making the rounds right now, stay safe and I hope you feel better soon💜
SJM Males When You're Sick Headcanons
ACOTAR
Azriel
⁃ Azriel knows you’re sick before you do
⁃ His shadows wake him up in the night when they hear your sniffled breathing, notice your fever
⁃ He’s up and getting you water and a cool rag, making some tea with medicine from Madja as soon as you are up
⁃ If he has to go anywhere, he leaves his shadows with you to keep him updated on how you’re doing or if you need anything
⁃ He gets you your favorite flowers and a book, which he reads to you as you take a warm bath, the water helping with any congestion 
⁃ Picks out your favorite clothes for you to sleep in, keeping an eye on you while being careful not to pester you too much
Rhys
⁃ Rhys secretly loves the excuse to take care of you
⁃ You usually tease him for using magic to do the smallest things, so he takes every opportunity to make anything you could need appear in an instant. You want warm soup? Right there. Another blanket? Five blankets of various fabrics appear without hardly a thought. 
⁃ You are not leaving the bed. Rhys pushes any meetings or responsibilities he has to stay with you, taking the opportunity as the perfect excuse to spend quality time with you, absolutely spoiling you in every way
Cassian
⁃ Cassian gets anxious, immediately going to Madja for any possible medicine you could need
⁃ He would ask for step by step instructions on how to best care for you while you’re sick, and stick to that routine
⁃ He makes sure to make you food with lots of nutrients to boost your immune system 
⁃ Azriel and Feyre both tell him to calm down and that you just need to rest, so Cassian carries you everywhere. He is undressing you, lifting you into the bathtub, washing your hair…
⁃ And then he discovers how much he likes carrying you everywhere, cradling you to his chest bridal style. It becomes a tough habit for him to break once you’re feeling better
Lucien
⁃ listens to you and what you need
⁃ He’ll do lots of small things, like bringing you a sweet treat or small gift to cheer you up
⁃ Knowing you feel terrible, he consistently tells you how beautiful you look and how lucky he is to be your mate, despite your laughter and protests
⁃ Plans a special night for the two of you once you’re better doing something he knows you love 
Eris
⁃ this sweet baby is on high alert the moment he notices something is wrong
⁃ Once you’ve assured him that no one hurt you, you just aren’t feeling well, he checks you over thoroughly
⁃ He will make sure that you are tended to for everything you could need, assigning various people to give you medicine, cook you whatever meals you like, etc
⁃ But he’ll complain that they’re not doing a sufficient job and take over, halting his duties to take care of you
Throne of Glass
Rowan
⁃ Teases you for getting sick, saying you’re being irresponsible and not taking care of yourself
⁃ But he’ll insist on caring for you, making no sure you get plenty of rest and that no one bothers you with responsibilities
⁃ He’s the perfect one to hold you when you’re sick, his warm body soothing against yours as he wills a gentle, cool wind against your face
Crescent City
Hunt
⁃ he’d hear your small cough when he came in the house and immediately crumble
⁃ He’d rush over to you, asking what hurts and if he can get you anything to drink or eat, ordering your favorite food to be delivered
⁃ He’d pick you up in his lap, bundling you in blankets as he held you close until you fall asleep
⁃ He’d let you watch whatever show you wanted, even if the sunball game was on (but once you’re asleep, sunball is back on the TV)
⁃ Forehead kisses. Constantly. Carrying you into the shower, softly washing your body while he kisses all over your head and shoulders, wherever he can show physical affection
Ruhn
⁃ This cute dumbass would tease you at first, probably ask if you’re hungover 
⁃ Once he realizes you’re sick, he’d go all out. Messaging Flynn and Dec to gather food and medicine for you while he sets you up in your shared room with blankets, pillows, TV, etc
⁃ He lays in bed with you, absentmindedly playing with your hair, watching tv, just to be there if you need anything and so you don’t feel alone
⁃ He’s definitely searching on his phone “will I catch my girlfriend’s sickness if I go down on her?”
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sinimake · 5 months
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More Johnshi head canons!! (Thanks for enjoying the previous one)
Johnny's absolute favorite movie is a low-budget indie movie made by some students he once saw in a film festival as a pure serendipity. He never mentions this to anybody and usually says one of his own movies as his fav whenever he's asked
Kenshi is very good at apologies and owning up to his mistakes. Like he would list what he has done wrong, acknowledge the other's hurt feelings, and make change not to repeat his mistakes.
Johnny is an absolute perfectionist when it comes to his films. It is a nightmare to work with him on the sets bc he grinds scenes for an unnecessary amount of time until it satisfies him. But it's rectified by the fact he buys the crew lots of snacks, lunch, and drinks. Sometimes, he even comes in the morning with personalized coffees for everyone. It is so cute bc he has notes on his phone filled with people's preferences jotted down
Kenshi with a white cane ! More !!
Kenshi secretly likes doing blind jokes. He even sets people up for them to slip like "omg did u see that" and he be there like "no I'm blind"
Kenshi sleeps on his stomach sideways with his knee bent up, and Johnny sleeps on his back. They fit just right together
Kenshi uses Sento's power for all the wrong reasons in bed. There's always later awkwardness with his ancestors, but the sight of Johnny's blessed out o face makes everything so worth
Speaking of Sento, Johnny likes when Kenshi uses his telepathy on him. He can tell when his boyfriend is in his head by the pleasant tingling in the back of his mind. While Kenshi can't passively read every thought, but Sento helps him feel Johnny's emotions and sensations. Johnny loves to send him 'good vibes'
They are not mentally connected all the time, but they use telepathy during missions and in battle like a comm. Kenshi pays Johnny extra mind to be ready to help him if he needs it
Kenshi might not be fond of PDA but he's an absolute sweetheart behind the doors. Backhugs, kiss on neck and nape, arm around waist, caressing his hair and cheeks, holding hands, you name it, he likes to touch Johnny at every opportunity
On the flip side, Johnny must grope and slap Kenshi's ass playfully
Kenshi uses Johnny's home gym more than anyone and likes to hike around nature
Johnny knows Kenshi doesn't like social media so he only posts pics of Kenshi that doesn't show his face. When Johnny does live video, Kenshi sometimes talks to him in the background, and the fans absolutely love them together.
^ *bantering* K: well, why dont you say it to my face huh? J: *looks at him biting his lips* *then to camera* okay guys i gotta go *end of live stream*
When they got engaged, Johnny posted the ring on his finger on insta with a caption saying "Real Mr. Internation Love now ❤️"
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kalki-tarot · 3 months
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YOU KNOW THEY DON'T LIKE YOU, SO WHY DO YOU KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE ? 🍷
Pick a picture that attracts you the most ♡
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TAP ON MASTERLIST FOR MORE 🍓
This is an intuitive tarot reading and it is just for entertainment purposes. I am not responsible for any actions or decisions taken by anyone on behalf of this reading as tarot is not 100% true all the times.
Read this with an open mind and let go of whatever doesn't serve you.
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PILE 1.
Confirmations or signs : blue or white birds, peace symbols, refrigerators, black umbrella, red color, K, S, G, Sun, F, Cathedral, Catherine, Karina, Karen, Kaliber, back n white, kanye west
The reality of this person you're holding onto is very obvious to you. They are someone money minded and look out for material things in life mostly, they are too invested in their career and building a weath right now. They are someone who has no clarity or clear vision in life. They sort of run after material things, and they sre working hard for these material things. To be honest, they don't have any time for you and you will be victimized in this connection if you stay any longer. They are someone childish and not meant for you.
Let's get to the point that why are you still holding onto them? You feel this little spark with them. You feel hopeful about this connection even though it's not headed anywhere and you are accepting the breadcrumbs babe. You literally don't realize your worth I'm sorry if I'm too straightforward but it is what it is. You don't like to see yourself winning is that it? No? Then stop believing into false hopes and delusions bestie. This is the only way i have to tell you this. Like stop! You are disrespecting yourself by acting like that. You are the only one working hard in this connection and they r not even reciprocating shit. Well, i see that you have a cycle of meeting people who don't reciprocate what you give in to build up a relationship but eventually you have to walk away because they don't live up to your expectations or they don't invest as much as you're investing in. The universe is trying to teach you that you should know when to stop and walk away if people don't care about your efforts bestie. You will repeat this cycle unless you realize your worth and take your power back!
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PILE. 2
Confirmations or signs : lamp posts, yellow/golden flames, Army, Police, J, S, M, N, F, G, sun, moon, stars, shimmer & shine, ticking clocks, weirdo, joker
The person you are asking about is very ambitious and hardworking. They have a set vision for how their life should be or how much they should achieve before this particular age they hit. They want to create something of their own and to be honest you are nowhere in this picture. They don't really care about love and relationships that much. Also, this person may try to mould you they way they want you to be, they won't be as accepting of you. You know those people who have a fixed type of person to marry and they would try to make you become what they would like to see and not the actual you. This person is very superficial and it's hard to change them. They are very stubborn.
The truth about this person is that u won't be emotionally fulfilled by them and you'll end up walking away. Ask yourself "Are u just clinging onto them only because of the fear of being left out?" This person will be very hot and cold towards you. And you have this tendency to attract these kind of people into you life. Do you crave validation? Don't work hard for them, don't waste your energy manifesting them. They are not meant for you :( They would cause you more harm than good. You'll hurt yourself. First fix your unhealthy tendencies and fill yourself with self love. Then try to manifest a loving and stable partner.
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