OKKK maki dating head-cannons🤗

A REQUEST?!?!#?G$^W OMG😍

love best girl maki smsmsmsmmmsmsmmsmsmsm <33

-this can be gender neutral (but im imagining the reader as a female for myself just cuz ima girl but otherwise it's gender neutral, except for when i'm mentioning afab/amab)

-always angry

-she's not angry at you,,, she's angry at the world. primarily because panda and toge WILL NOT stop teasing her about it

-but she's very nice to you, even when she doesn't think she is. it's like she hates everyone and loves you (why can't she be real </3)

-even after you two started going out, it took a LOOONG time for her to get used to the affection u give (if u do like giving affection. if u dont then ignore this and pretend ur the same as her/j)

-UGH she's so cute whenever you hug her, cuz she isn't used to all the affection since she never really received it as a child. that poor girl- i wanna give her all the love she deserves :( can u tell i love maki

-when she does get used to the affection, forehead kisses are vv common! and they're so cute gn. you two could be tired from training all day and you're sitting together while drinking water and she'll randomly give u a forehead kiss or maybe a cheek kiss idk. and when u turn to smile back at her she's always blushing, and you just can't help yourself so you lean in to kiss her cheek as well. her face turns even more red as she mumbles little strings of curses under her breath.

-live laugh maki. <3

-for afab readers, maki defo seeks advice on how to ask u out from either shoko (if u decide the relationship starts in the time jjk 0 takes place) or nobara if u haven't seen the movie yet. all those hours she spent talking with shoko/nobara just for u to be the one asking her out LMAOO

-yeah. toge and panda always joke about it and she'll threaten them with the least scary threats like "i'll kill you!1!1!! >:(" and they'll just die laughing along with u

-for amab readers she defo didn't expect to fall for a guy after being treated like shit from the zen'in clan which it mainly men😃 (i hope that's a valid reason to hc she's wlw but i dont want criticism so i'm adding amab readers <:)) tho she didn't go to any of the boys for help (not even yuta LMAO)

-she's more dominant hotter than you, no matter the gender. you could be the sexiest actress in the world or the most majestic bro on tiktok and she'd still be hotter LOL (accept it losers/j)

-being hot doesn't always come with confidence (but most of the time it does and it takes a while for her to embrace that) and once she actually does embrace it, she's a TERRIFIC flirter i want maki to flirt with me

-she loves seeing u blushing and embarrassed, again, no matter the gender. tho she did reluctantly pick up tips from gojo whenever she'd see him rizzing up some girl on the street LMAO

"hey there, hot stuff."

"are you trying to rizz me up again?"

"no, would you like me to?"

IT WORKS EVERY TIME??? if that sucked im sorry i have no rizz shamefully and it always ends up with u blushing (if y'all are aged up idk where u wanna take that...😓)

-and if y'all r making out expect things to go her way (you'll be busy for a while so put ur shit on do not disturb) with her shoving u against a wall not me projecting my daydreams

-lemme stop b4 i get out of hand.

-ANYWAYS dating her would be super fun if she wouldn't be TRAINING ALL THE TIME!!! that girl is always training and it takes 5 sacrifices to god and one spar to get her to stop </3. then u guys hang out in y'alls rooms, varying from hers or yours (mainly yours tho idk why just go with it)

yeah idk what else to add LOL

spoons - 9.21.23

I've been thinking about the spoon theory a lot.

Law school is an extremely competitive environment, and it's really hard not to compare yourself to all the people around you. When you're in a situation like mine, it's hard to see all the people around you being prepared for class and spending hours in the library studying, while you know you're unprepared and weeks behind on work. I look around and I find myself practicing negative self talk. I say to myself that I'm just lazy and I don't belong in law school.

However, when I'm able to take a step back for a moment of clarity, I realize that not only is that not true–because I want law school more than anything, and the work that I do accomplish is super rewarding–but also that I'm holding myself to an impossible standard at this present moment in my life. I am comparing myself to and holding myself to the standard of a person with a normal functioning brain, when mine isn't working properly.

I find that I'm being too harsh on myself, and that often makes everything worse.

I saw a TikTok the other day of a girl who was talking about how although she's in med school, she works over 20 hours a week, goes to the gym, volunteers, travels, and also spends time with her friends and family. She said "your sign that you can do it all." Someone stitched her video talking about the spoon theory and I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

The spoon theory is essentially the idea that every task you complete in a day has a value in spoons. A normal person starts their day with seemingly endless possibilities and a seemingly endless supply of spoons. Therefore, they are able to do pretty much whatever they please, whenever they please, without running out of spoons/energy to keep going.

Meanwhile, a person with a chronic illness that impacts their daily life functions and overall quality of life starts their day with an extremely limited number of spoons. There are only so many tasks that they can complete with the number of spoons they have, so they have to be selective in planning their day and might have to make some sacrifices.

For example, I live with chronic mental illness. Tasks that seem mundane to everyone else, like getting out of bed, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, showering, and eating, take an extreme amount of effort for me to complete. Say, for me, each of those things cost one spoon, and I only wake up with 12 spoons to spend on my entire day (compared to the average person who wakes up with, say, 30 spoons). I have to complete all of those seemingly mundane tasks (some even multiple times a day), AND I still have to remember to take my medicine, make the 30 minute walk to and from school, go to class, go to work, complete reading for the next day, and study, all of which cost anywhere between 2-4 spoons. How do I do all of that with only 12 spoons? Just by getting out of bed, getting dressed, and brushing my teeth, I'm already 3 spoons down. I know that I'll have to shower and eat at least once at some point during the day, so that makes 5, maybe 7, spoons down. With one meal a day I'm already left with only 7 spoons, and I have a to do list worth way more than 7 spoons.

So how do you cope with this? You place careful thought in how you choose to spend your spoons, and you learn to give yourself grace if you can't accomplish everything. You can't compare your lifestyle and your accomplishments to those of people who live life with significantly more spoons than you do.

A person who completes all their tasks, using all 30 of their spoons gives 100%. But a person who doesn't complete all of their tasks, but still uses all 12 of their spoons, also gives 100%.

Be kind to yourself. You can't continue beating yourself up, making your situation even worse. Recognize that although you are not exactly where you want to be at the moment, you are still giving 100% of yourself, and that is something to be proud of. <3

.

Note: spoon theory was coined by Christine Miserandino on the blog "butyoudontlooksick.com"

graphic from @SpoonieSisterShop on IG

2023 in Review

2023 was a very tiring year, to put it mildly. I know everyone has been having a rough time, not just me. There's so much going on to be angry or upset about.

I want to at least try to focus on the positives and my own development that's happened over the course of this year. This post will likely be super long and rambling, so I'll put it under a cut here.

If you don't want to read it all (valid), I want you to know that we can make 2024 a better year together. Things will be better. We will make them better.

As far as my own personal growth, I've done quite a few things that I was always nervous to do or felt weren't possible.

I'm still anxious now that AI is even more of a problem than NFTs and standard art theft, but I want to share my art! I hate that I have to sacrifice quality by watermarking and making everything into JPGs, but it's the only way I'll feel safe enough to still share my art. I'm also anxious about getting chewed up by social media in general and ruining my mental health by feeling like I have to be Always Posting.

1.) I've started posting my art again publicly, on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and here on Tumblr. I've started streaming on Twitch again, too.

I've tried to maintain an art blog or something similar multiple times before either getting too protective of my work or giving up. I don't want to give up again.

I've also started interacting with other artists more. I want to make more art friends! It just sucks that trying to reach out and comment often on Instagram takes so much of my energy.

2.) I've opened my own online shop on Etsy.

I've only made one sale so far this year, and it still means the world to me. I've always wanted to have my art on shirts and prints. The designs I've started off with are some basic ones, and I want to push to have even more detailed and cooler stuff. It's scary trying to sell my art as merchandise, but I want people to have stuff that they'll be excited to have and wear. I've ordered one of my own designs that I was the most excited for and I love it. I love being able to wear something I made.

I wish I had the space to do all the prints and things myself. I'd love to be even more involved in the process than using print-on-demand, but then that also requires me to have more time for order maintenance and less time for art and myself.

3.) I've opened commissions on VGen.

My friend was kind enough to give me a verification code, and I've opened a few offerings. I still need to advertise and push my stuff, but I feel a lot more confident in my art than I have in the past. I've tried to offer commissions before but always felt my art wasn't good enough. It didn't help that people rarely wanted my art, either.

4.) I'm cracking the code of my own brain.

I always have issues sticking to habits and being productive. (I'm almost certain I have ADHD, but trying to even get to see a doctor for an official diagnosis is something I haven't had time or money to pursue.) This year I created a scoreboard to try and gamify things that I need to do. It really helped me get through this year, all the way to about October when it became too much to maintain. This past month I've revamped it to make it more fun and easier for me to keep up with. I'm super happy with it so far, and I hope I can manage this one all the way through 2024.

5.) I'm taking my health more seriously.

I've been aiming to exercise at least 3 times a week, go for walks, or do anything to keep me moving. This has definitely helped my mental health and it's something I want to continue this year. I walked 1200 miles as a personal challenge! This year I'm aiming for 1500! I want to aim even higher, but I don't want to pick something so outrageous I burn out or don't bother finishing it. My rule is always that I can raise my goal but never lower it.

My friend got me into Conqueror Challenges, and big shiny medals have been a motivator for monkey brain.

I feel like I wrote this all mostly positively with a negative spin. That wasn't my intention, but I'm also being real about where I am and where I want to go in my life. I'm still learning and figuring out what I really want. I just know that I want art to become a much bigger part of my life again, and I want to be healthy so that I have that much longer to create even more art. I have so much planned and so much more that I want to make or media I want to try.

I was also able to lose some weight and I think that's made a difference, too. I don't feel as brain-fogged or as tired. I need to focus on sleeping more, though.

6.) A small thing, but I'm taking good care of my plants.

I love having plants so much, but they usually don't last very long. I had to get rid of my plants when we first adopted my cat, but I've made space for them that will keep him safe and out of them.

A coworker gifted me a plant for my birthday at the beginning of 2023, and it's still going strong. It's gotten huge since then. Looking at it honestly makes me so proud. One of my dreams is to one day have a green house or sunroom filled with different plants, and a garden to grow our own fruits and vegetables. It would make me so happy if this guy could be the first in its permanent home there.

7.) I've been doing better mentally and with handling my emotions.

I've always been highly emotional to the point that I couldn't control them. I'm still working on it, but I'm getting better at not letting my emotions lead my actions and taking time to think things through. Journaling has helped a lot, and I'd like to start meditating regularly to see if that helps, too. My girlfriend has been so patient and helpful with this since we've been together, especially in this past year. I'm incredibly lucky to have her. 😭 💚

I want to be hopeful for 2024. I want to put out more artwork and have more fun that I can share with others to make this year nicer for us all, if only a little.

If you read this far, please just know that I'm proud of you for making it through this year. Whether you were able to do things that you wanted to do or not, you survived and I'm happy you're still here.

I hope you have a much better year in 2024, with more love and kindness, more fun, more good food, and more rest. 💜

since the others popped off, here's a supercut of Rhys Darby and his cat Gizmo from his tiktok. transcript below.

Video opens with Rhys Darby, speaking while sitting at a dining room chair:

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT/ID:

1st:

"When I first started in 1995, was that" *camera turns to show he's speaking to his cat, a lavender point siamese cat named Gizmo, who is sitting on the table right in front of him* "you know, no one was really doing that kind of stuff. Except for me. Getting a comedy duo-" *starts to laugh because Gizmo looks bored and unamused* "-in Christchurch- *laughs* - meant that - if you could just please concentrate, Gizmo. You know we were one of the first comedy duos- *laughs* -duos that was doing, you know, original-" end of first vid.

2nd:

Rhys is sitting at the dining room table, wearing pajamas like he just woke up and is speaking to his cat, Gizmo, who is sitting on the table facing away from him and seeming to ignore him:

"Look *clears throat* it's just not on, okay? I'm really nice to you all year and here we are on the last day and you're just ignoring me. Gizmo, please! Just... look at me. I'm sorry, okay? I just... we've spent great times together. I don't know what I've done!" end of second vid.

3rd:

A continuation of the previous vid. The camera pans to show the front of Gizmo as Rhys continues to plead at his cat:

"Gizmo! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! Gizzy! Please, look at me! *sighs*" end of third vid.

4th:

Video opens with Rhys petting Gizmo, who is laying on his side on the table in front of him and purring:

"Best friends now, yeah? I think we are, aren't we? Yeah... we've made up."

Rhys sings to himself as he flips the camera to show his face: "Best friends forever, Gizmo and dad. They're always best friends, e- ow ow owaah!" *stops singing and turns the camera back to Gizmo who just chomped on the hand that was petting him**Rhys points at the cat* "You just bit me!" *Gizmo gets up and walks to the other end of the table, sitting and facing away from Rhys, who sighs* "Seriously? Gizmo!" end of fourth vid.

5th:

Rhys is laying down on his couch and Gizmo is curled up on his chest, sleeping. Rhys' face is partially obscured by the cat:

"So I think um, for me, you know my biggest dream was to act in a comedy seating. So, stand-up is one thing, but to act alongside other for comedy purposes, that was the dream and I wanted to... go as far as I could with that. Definitely leave the country, explore the world... get my comedy out there on the international circuit. Get it-" *Gizmo wakes up and turns his head to face Rhys* "-to a big level. Oh, okay, I get it. You're trying to sleep. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." *Gizmo faces away from him again* "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

END OF TRANSCRIPT].

reflections

19th Feb 2021,

last night was crazy. me and zoe finally made up, and when i was telling her about my giant pyramid project in minecraft, she said she's going to move into it with me - girl really likes to keep me on my toes. she also wore a beanie and a flannel and the gay inside me exploded. had to remind myself that i am, in fact, not in love with her. finally got around to watching Name Of The Doctor too, but it was really hard to see it through my crying; totally worth it, and seeing Walter Simeon hold the Doctor's face uh, did something for me. Phoebe was also kind enough to check out all of Inner Mechanism for me and was a total darling about the whole thing. they also "green lit" the project for me, so now it's all systems go to add the final perfecting touches. first proper teaser went on my instagram: "this is my sacrifice, this is my exile". might do the second one later today, "watch this space..."

sipping coffee, painting my nails black and watching interviews. about two hours ago i was lost in tiktok, just scrolling mindlessly with not a single hope or care in the world. it was really nice and felt like a trance. a year ago today, the world was normal and calm and i was in wales. i went to see my best friend at the time, as well as her girlfriend, but the entire fiasco turned into a shambles; in short, i just felt like i wasn't wanted there after completely running myself down and investing my own time and money to get there. i stopped speaking to her a few weeks after as a result, but she came back out of nowhere last month and messaged me for some reason. i haven't got to the bottom of why or what happened, part of me is too scared to hear the truth. i haven't spoken to her in a while. i have an unread message from her, so i think i should drop a line and say "a year ago today i was with you, you were with your ex and the world was stable".

finally read some more of my fucking book at last!! did so while listening to Who Am I? - Pale Waves yet again. enjoyed it a lot more this time around. was speaking to Lyndon a few days back, saying how i often get bored with new albums around halfway through; Who Am I? is only 33 minutes long mind you, which doesn't constitute an album runtime in my "professional" opinion - i've made some money from my music which constitutes me as professional, right?? back to my point at hand. it flowed a lot better this time and it didn't leave me feeling bored by the second half. it flew by and again was a perfect reading soundtrack, thought i did prefer it the last time when it was executed within a moving vehicle. a friend of mine called James also checked out my Underworld single yesterday, said he really liked it and loved the beat, which really meant a lot.

lego set arrived and oh god, is it beautiful. it's so big!! and it comes with a couple other things beside the main rocket itself; it's so cute, so cool and so worth the money!! Iron Lady also came today, so once the night crawls in i'll be sitting down to watch it. who's gunna take bets on if im gunna cry or not?? but lyndon did say if i cry over a Margaret Thatcher film, it makes me a tory - rahhhh that's actually so peak fam :///

i can see why Meryl Streep was highly regarded in The Iron Lady. but while she does play the part extremely well, i couldn't help but feel so upset and distressed by the film. i'm a history student and hear about things in passing, like the cold war and the falklands war; none of which have never been taught to me at school, and therefore i have no clue of any detail concerning them. after seeing this film, i can only assume that thatcher had a huge role to play in the falklands war. to see so much terror, death and bloodshed under the reign of one woman?? this is the past history of the place that i was born and live in, and it disgraces me. this was supposed to be about the life of a woman but with so many explosions, acts of terror, stock footage of people fighting police officers, buildings on fire and people bleeding on the street... what have i come from?? this woman served under the same party as we have here and now, and it made me start to think. what if people retaliated against boris johnson in the same way?? what if his second in command was blown up, or a hotel he stayed at was bombed?? it's scary to think the power that people have, and when they upset the public, how hard they fight back. and if thatcher was the reason for all of those explosions and deaths, then i feel ashamed. i can understand why people despise her and her party. were discussing the idea of "what is history?" in one of our first history lessons last year, and we concluded that it is to record the errors of the past to ensure that we don't make the same mistakes in the present or the future. to learn from our past for a better future. i hope that above all, we have learnt from our past and never experience anything similar. i couldn't handle it in the film, so god only knows how i would take the real thing. but i can tell you here and now - hope is the only thing keeping me going.

i want to conclude today with some quotes that i have recently discovered and fell in love with: "the name you choose is like a promise" - Doctor Who; "i love being called a bastard. it somehow implies that the most heinous thing i have done is exist" - Lord Byron.

do you ever feel like your concentration is dropping so fast these days? right at the time of the semester that you need it the most? how do you combat this? I'm just scrolling on social media now and browsing movies to watch not doing my work. -Frosh

Response from Ocean:

I'm sorry frosh! I have certainly felt at times that my concentration is dropping right at the exact time that I need it most. Perhaps I am not the best person to answer your question, as a chronic procrastinator, but here are some of the strategies I use.

Planning out assignments ahead of time -- what do I need to get done each day? Once I get it done, I can watch Netflix/scroll social media/whatever

Don't expect to suddenly change habits you've had your whole life or suddenly be able to cut out your social media usage entirely -- set realistic goals and perhaps even work in the time to do "relaxing" activities, even if it's just watching TikTok

Caffeine also helps -- if I get a coffee (or Red Bull, or whatever), I think I'm "wasting" it by going immediately on my phone. I'll use that energy instead toward my work -- even if I sacrifice some of my sleep while doing it

Instead of only using my down time to do stuff by myself, I'll schedule hangouts with friends or nights off. "I will get this done and then I will go out tonight" or "I will work on this and then I will go shopping with my friend" motivate me more than just looking at a to-do list

That's all I have for now! Good luck with the rest of the semester :-)

110 instagram posts.

110 thoughts wondering what is going on with you.

110, wondering what I'm doing wrong.

110 apologies and yet now I feel I've tangled myself in a mess i made.

110, axinety thoughts.

110, pondering thoughts that all lead the same places.

You also followed 2 new tiktok accounts.

I wonder if your lurking the videos i tabbed for you...

I hope you know I'm thinking about you, you had an early wake up for unknown reasons to me, but you might not be able to hold my hand or feel me there holding you, but my hand it's always out, I'm always looking out for you even if i can't see everything but I'll be waiting, for whenever you are reday again, i hope your doing okay, keep your chin up. *kisses your forehead* your doing great, i miss you always.

Just remember small hiccups try drag you back down but don't forget the progress you made and were getting close to a another anniversary the question is when exactly but i know roughly.

But i keep thinking about, there was a time when i told you that I'd be coming to colorado and you nearly hit the roof, you were so excited the way you were trying to hold back your smile, i think about that day quite a bit actually.

You know i try keep to my word but now i know there's something i said.

Your testing me but i can't tell what on.

At least you know my thoughts.

I just want to call you and talk to you but my axeinty is getting the best of me...

I want to Skype you like we use to, but my request is pending.

I want my best friend back, the girl i loved no matter what your into i told you that you're be first in line, tell me what you like and I'll do the work no matter where it is.

I'm going to the gym, I'm also watching animie again.

I told you that you made sacrifices, so I'll make compromises.