#I'll probably go more into this soon enough
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very much curious about your thoughts and opinions on brother's bff heeseung who realizes you have a thing for hands... his hands specifically.
can we just agree that heeseung owns the brother's bff trope like ???? fits him so well??? also his hands are so pretty, so pretty that I would happily have them around my neck my favourite necklace fr 👍🏼
my dear moony baby you're so right because lee heeseung fits no concept as well as the brother's best friend trope and i will stand by this with everything i have 🤕 (example a: my smau poison)
heeseung's a naturally flirty guy and everyone around him knows this. you know it too, yet you never really thought he'd see you as flirtable enough, you're just his best friend's younger sister after all. you two mught not have grown up together but he's been around longer than you can actually remember, and maybe that's what makes him so..tempting.
or maybe it's the way he always makes sure to compliment snd praise you for your hard work and how well you've been doing. he's also not very touchy or the type of guy to overstep boundaries, yet with you he simply can't hold himself back and as soon as he notices the way you melt into his touch like it was made for you, hee's a goner.
at first, he doesn't even realise just how much attention you pay to his hands. he's always noticed your eyes wandering when he talked to you or others but it definitely took him a bit to follow your hungry gaze and that's when he knew he's got you wrapped around one of his pretty fingers.
all of a sudden he starts wearing his rings more frequently, even going as far as showing them off to you by grabbing your hand or wrapping his fingers around your wrist and explaining to you how much he likes each one of them.
it doesn't take much for you two to get a little bolder, a little less hesitant and subtle about the tension between you but heeseung knows you'd never make the first step. that's probably what's made you even more intriguing to him, or maybe it's the fact that you're somehow a forbidden fruit he's been fantasising about for too long.
the mere thought of getting a taste has been driving him into insanity and before he can stop himself, heeseung finds himself standing behind you, calmly watching the way you're taking care of the task in front of you before he casually asks you to teach him. (he doesn't actually give a fuck but he'd use every opportunity to touch you he can get)
by the time you're slowly starting to squirm underneath his touch, he's already busy littering your soft neck in his open mouthed kisses, whispering sweet praises into your ear as he tells you to keep going because you wouldn't wanna be caught now, would you?
you have absolutely no idea how you find yourself practically pushing one of his pretty hands between your legs, begging him to just please touch you only for heeseung to make this little game you two have been playing a little bit more fun by denying you his touch.
"how about you tell me about all of those naughty thoughts about my hands first and then i'll see what i can do to take care of your little problem hm, pretty girl?"
and how on earth were you supposed to deny him such a sweet request when his hands have been the only thing on your mind for the past who knows how long?
that's exactly why you find yourself with your face buried in his neck, inhaling his sweet scent as you try to muffle your moans and whimpers because of how good he's making you feel when all hd's doing is rubbing that cute little clit of yours through your messy panties.
"we're going to have a lot of fun, baby", is the only thing he says after turning you knto an actual mess but not before pushing his fingers coated in your juices into your mouth to let you know just how serious he is about his little threat.
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Weiss: We need to get you something casual to wear. Even I don't just have dresses. I have skirts, and jeans and yoga pants.
Jaune: What's wrong with this shirt? It's cotton. It's comfortable.
Weiss: You don't have any other shoes just those heavy boots.
Jaune: What's wrong with my boots? They're comfortable and I know if I have to I can crush somebody's skull with them.
Weiss: Besides the fact they are on my new coffee table? Get some slippers, sandals, or tennis shoes and I'll let the shirt and pants go.
Jaune: I have jeans...
Weiss: One pair? I've seen your closet. Face it. You've gone all hunter with no relaxation.
Jaune: I sleep shirtless in gym shorts. Are you complaining about that? It's not typically something a loving wife tells their husband. 'Put on more clothes.'
Weiss: You also only have one pair of gym shorts. You're so military it would make a Spartan cringe. It's not like you don't have the money for clothes.
Jaune: I've been busy.
Weiss: But now you're not.
Ruby: Ooh! We should dress him up!
Jaune: What am I? A doll?
Weiss: It's settled then.
Jaune: Settled how? Since when are we putting things to a vote. That's not allowed. Everyone has to be onboard.
Ruby: Get democratized.
Weiss: What happened to your onesie? At least you had that. At least it existed even if I am glad you just sleep in gym shorts.
Ruby: Your chest is nice to sleep on. How is it soft and hard at the same time? But we aren't hoofing it around anima anymore and you're not clawing your way back to Vale. Let us dress you up.
Jaune: Again like a doll?
Ruby: Yeah. But you're our doll. Please? For me?
Jaune: *makes the mistake of looking into her eyes, gets up with a sigh*
Weiss: We don't mean right this minute. Good gods.
Jaune: *sits back down* You know where to find me.
Weiss: You have to teach me how to do that Ruby.
Jaune: You both do that to me. You looked at me, folded your arms, and told me to get a psychiatrist and I did.
Weiss: True. But there’s something special about the way Ruby says ‘please? For me?’ Isn’t there? She does it to me too. She’s like ‘I know you like this color of paint for the bedroom but I like this one. Won’t you agree to it? For me?
Ruby: *has this look of 'who? Me? I'm not familiar*
Jaune: As far as I’m concerned you both cheat hard and ruthlessly. How often do you walk around singing in the kitchen while you’re making coffee? You cheat. You both do. You both do it as much as you can get away with and that’s quite a lot. And what am I supposed to do? I’ve got nothing. I have neither defense or offense.
Weiss: How is doing things you love cheating? I happen to sing while I’m doing chores. That’s for me. If you happen to like it, then that is on you. I am talking about how Ruby actively uses her charms to get us both to do what she wants.
Jaune: And I’m just saying you’re not innocent. As soon as you found out it turns me on when you sing you started singing at me all the time.
Weiss: Okay. I did do that.
Jaune: Bangarang. And everyone in this house knows that Ruby just looks up at you with those big silver eyes and asks nicely and gets her wishes granted. Everyone knows that. Especially Ruby. She knows we can’t help ourselves and she knows that we know that she knows. But there’s nothing to be done. What am I going to do to get what I want?
Weiss: You don’t want anything though. You don’t really care what color the annex office gets painted. You hardly care what you eat for dinner. You could probably eat the same thing every day without complaint.
Jaune: That’s exactly what I used to do at Beacon until you moved in with me. I ate the same thing every single day. And you know what? I liked it.
Weiss: You’re schizophrenic. You have to stop with these mentally unwell behaviors. That’s a part of fighting back against your illness. It’s not enough to just take the meds.
Ruby: Yeah, that’s a sign of mental unwellness… You should eat different things…
Jaune: Exactly how long term am I supposed to be thinking here?
Weiss: *Smacks his chest gently with the back of her hand*
Ruby: *much less flirtatiously and aggressively hits the inside of his thigh*
Jaune: And you both abuse me.
Weiss: Oh shut up.
Ruby: Big baby.
#rwby#rwby incorrect quotes#jaune arc#weiss schnee#whiteknight#white knight#motion sickness#ruby rose#lancaster#war of roses#whiterose#white rose
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here was my theory on the timeline
In Eichenwalde, Reinhardt didn't listen. He kept rushing in. He lost an eye and everyone died. He left that battlefield believing it was because none of them were strong enough.
Adhabu Ngumi, seeing the Overwatch group lacked anyone big and strong, decided to join them once he took care of the Omnic Crisis in Africa.
Torbjörn died on that mission in Istanbul. Angela took this personally, and Brigitte grew up despising Overwatch for failing to save him
The Hashimoto clan hired Reinhardt to help kill the Shimada clan. They kept Hanzo and cast Genji adrift, putting him in a ship to Australia. They also trained Kiriko.
Satya was on a plane that crashed over Australia. She used what hardlight tech she had left and became a high ranking Junker, as did her new armored ninja friend.
Overwatch was unable to help in Canada, leaving Sojourn embittered and vengeful.
Adhabu found the young Akande Ogundimu, and trained the boy to be his successor, having saved him from his potential attacked Akinjide Adeyemi. Akande quickly became a powerful force of good for Overwatch.
Cassidy never ended up with Deadlock. Instead, in Mexico, Overwatch found a young Sombra, and took her in.
Angela and Tracer both joined Blackwatch, tired of the Overwatch's incompetence. Unfortunately, Gabriel was a harsh boss, no one ever being enough to help him, Tracer too weak and Angela too merciful.
Talon captured Ana instead of Amelie, gaining a deadly sniper. In turn, Amelie stepped up after Ana killed Gèrard and took her eye.
Zenyatta went with Ramattra that day. His face was damaged, leading him to use a new face with a singular eye.
Without a hacker to cover his tracks, Mauga quickly brought Baptiste back to Talon, where they brainwashed him into the elite assassin Scorpion.
When Overwatch fell, Angela made sure Gabriel didn't make it without issue, leaving him hospitalized in a coma. She and Tracer joined Talon, who had also employed Reinhardt, Brigitte, and Sojourn, as well as a reprogrammed and upgraded Bastion unit. Angela quickly took over Talon, showing no mercy, now leading the terrorist organization fueled by Vengeance.
Ok this, is amazaing, it makes sense and I'm honestly already invested in a story like this. It's a really good concept for a general Reverse or "What if" universe.
The shitty thing is the only character in that timeline that actually fits the concept of a mirror universe is Reinhardt. I'm gonna be honest and also say the Doomfist one is also highly likely cause sometimes in a mirror universe some minor characters do stay the same so the story makes sense.
I'm probably going to make my own timeline for this universe at some point but I'm going to wait for the game mode for this event to come out cause I know damn well that there is going to be interactions for that.
But for now I'll share what we can guess and what is confirmed about this universe.
Ana most likely shot out Amelie's eye in this universe, either it was an assassination attempt pre Amelie joining OW or it was after Amelie joined. However there is another explanation for Amelie's eye.
Amelie's eye could also be a stand in for Moira's experimentation in this universe, as Amelie's other eye is still yellow when they are originally a black/brown, and the scare on her chibi spray is more similar to either a slashing scar or a surgical scar.
Tracer killed Ramattra in this universe, meaning the Alive cinematic still happened. It also means that, most likely, Mondatta and Zenyatta run Null Sector.
Echo's Stealth/Camo skin seems to be her MW skin as new voice lines have been added. That and the addition of a Talon Athena implies that Mina Liao joined Talon.
That's all I can say for now cause I don't have the skins (yet) and no one posts anything apparently, but I'll post updates as soon as I can.
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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can someone remind me to write up my thoughts about gallagher and the enigmata later or at least compile them somewhere i want to share it but also my Goodness i am sleepy as heck today and i have work tonight 😔
#and its a saturday so its gonna be busy asldfjkasdlkah#im just. im so sleepy man#and i have to wake up early too for work tomorrow so i just. Im going to Die between today and tomorrow count on it#but at least on monday-wednesday ill make myself catch up on sleep#love the work but on the downside MY SLEEP.....#i forgot if i said it here. idk where i was posting bro#but the other day i 100% the theme park and am close to 100% dewlight pavilion so i'll be nearly caught up with all information#that + still need to read#but im also nearly caught up with all the reading in penacony too so thats super fun and exciting !!#but because of that i have thoughts askjdfalh#most of it is towards gallagher and the past of penacony and the watchmaker but. you know alskdjfalskjh#avil plays hsr#hsr 2.1 spoilers#just in case o7#i will say though#its wild i havent run into any information regarding the dreammaster at all really#the one who adopted sunday and robin#who is the dreammaster? why does the dreammaster and watchmaker have beef with each other? whats going on?#where did the shift come from between the watchmaker being the father of penacony to the family being in charge#since the family and the watchmaker are kinda against each other#(shakes the game) I WILL KNOW YOUR SECRETS SOON ENOUGH. AS SOON AS I AM MORE AWAKE ITS OVER FOR YOU.#i wish i had someone to ramble about ideas with and like bounce off of#WE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF PENACONY! TOGETHER!#and then probably get our asses killed too by getting to close to the legacy 😔✌🏼 itd be the way of the truth
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yeah guys idk I'm just thinking maybe the lightheadedness and desire to sit down about halfway through putting away groceries my whole life might not have just been a reaction to the way my parents were when i was a kid and the accompanying anxiety and sudden flurry of movement, but also possibly maybe i have a Health Thing about this...
#thank god i finally scheduled that doctor's appointment#Jan 15 cannot come quickly enough tbh#like i've streamlined getting shit put away and i hurry as soon as the wooziness starts hitting because i know i'm on borrowed time#and that's when the trauma reaction kicks in of ''i can't stop halfway through i'll be in trouble'' anxiety#because i *enjoy* putting away groceries and organizing the kitchen#i just also can't without a lot of assistance and plenty of spoons and time to prepare myself physically and mentally beforehand#this post brought to you by i had this realization doing the groceries and now i'm having like a lot of thoughts about it#i can't do it all in one go ever and i have never been able to without someone else handling about half of it#no matter how much i get or of what i can only get about half put away before time's up and i gotta sit down#it's why so much of my food was non-perishable when i was on my own#cause i'd get the cold things put away because they *had* to be#and then i couldn't physically do any more - especially if the groceries that week were more cold than non-perishable#but like yeah if i had to stop or take a break in putting away the groceries (despite also having gone to the grocery store#and walked around the whole store and grabbed items AND carried the heavy things into the house because i was the heavy lifter#AND i was in sports and had probably either just done a lot of exercise or was still in recovery from the day before/earlier that day)#i got fussed at for not helping out#so that's fucked up and fuck my mom actually she sucks#ugh
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.
#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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Man,, when I get a therapist we're gonna have So Much to talk about 😩👍
#q rambles at 2#i should probably talk to people about this stuff#but it's because of the stuff that i struggle to talk about it lol#the stuff being my 99% likelihood of having anxiety and adhd#also my childhood maybe being shittier than i often assume it is#but hey cant talk about it here#hope i get a therapist soon but#probably not until next year at least#might never end up getting one at the rate im going#just gonna sit in my cardboard box with the exit open ever so slightly#just enough to see light but not enough to leave#vent#i guess#it's 2am what do i expect#on a complete tangent im working on a tpodg funny so hopefully i'll forget about all this for at least one more day 👍👍#oh yea i forgot to add my gender dysphoria but like#other than a handful of people no one irl knows about that#especially not my parents which is probably a Bad Thing
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can't fucking believe vent is still down. where else am i gonna yell about being ill
#anyway it is Day Two and. i feel better in some ways but worse in others#had the worlds most disrupted night of sleep and now i'm coughing a lot more than yesterday and it sucks#but my throat feels less sore for sure. feels like my body is fighting this thing off super hard 💪💪💪💪 shame about the full body aching#and overall lack of energy. ooouugghhh and the lost voice of course. but this always fucking happens#i'm gonna have to pass on games night tonight if i'm still coughing a lot and/or still missing my voice#but aaaauugghhh the love of my friends will surely heal me like nothing else. unless they make me laugh and send me into a coughing fit#rambling#my god yeah thats one of the worst parts of being ill. cant watch anything that makes me laugh. im fucking dying of boredom here#sure there's other stuff to watch but no funnies and no video games when that's all i want rn. havent watched any more flapjack in DAYS#it's nowhere near as bad as covid so this is entirely unnecessary but i am once again getting thr urge to document my symptoms#with a god damn spreadsheet. but it's not as complex at all so eh.#i can't say too much about how much better i'm feeling just yet tbh bc i'm still back in bed hfkdhgkdh i can walk sure#but i need to go downstairs and make breakfast soon which is the REAL first hurdle#also the question of am i ready for toast again or do i need to stick to porridge just to be safe#not gonna lie. i didn't love the noodles i had yesterday so i'm wondering if i'll have the appetite for something else#i want a sandwich so fucking bad but i don't want to eat dry bread at the same time. aaauuggghhh#my sibling offered me a hot chocolate last night and i had to turn that down bc chocolate plus cold for me is a big no#but aaauugghhh a nice warm drink probably would’ve been rlly nice#i return once again to announce that got damn! i feel notivesbly better than i didn an hour ago and my voice is like 30% back!#which means that by tonight i might very well be at a functional enough level to hang out with friends after all#i can always dip if my energy levels tank again or whatever but like honestly hanging out with them is like. i need that#the last two days havent been great and i miss them and we have a lot to talk about so yeah i will do everything in my power#to be there tonight. but i will not force myself or push myself too far. bc i am the king of self care 💪💪💪#god sorry back again but. it continues to fascinate me how any kind of illness affects me in the same ways consistently regardless of what#kind of illness it is??? right now i have whats mainly a cough which is honestly rare for me when i get ill#it's usually more in the nose department and sometimes the throat but rarely the chest#and yet 9 out of 10 times i lose my voice. i Always struggle with low energy (altho thats a problem outside of being ill too jfdjgdhfhd)#have a hard time falling or staying asleep and i get nauseous if i sleep laying down enough#but also i am the king of hard and fast aka i get like 24 terrible hours and then recovery is super quick. i'll be back to 100% health in#less than a week. my poor fucking step dad has been in stage one for a WEEK it's really awful. but i have the power of youth on my side 💪
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i'm so sleepy 🥺
#🌙.rambles#random but i rlly wna make that priv twt soon but#i still have my old account from like 2019 i think n that ffxiv one i still haven't used yet#n my current main one#I DONT HAVE ENOUGH EMAILS FOR THIS#i'll.. make more ? 💀#IM. YK TODAY ONE OF MY COURSES#we had to do smth related to like. idk how to explain but anyways for that the site we picked was spotify#my classmate brought up n remembered that i have like 600 playlists..#im so embarrassed it's like 800 now too actually#my voice is so soft in convos n i probably seem so sleep-deprived#funny bcs when i'm eating n like my friends go to my class i'll be this weird kid fr or smth#random but fuuta's voice is so nice.. his va did so well w his songs oh my god#aghskfjsjs sometimes i get shy w reciting. my voice is still soft but#when it comes to attendance lmfao or#i find it rather amusing how i speak louder when i'm in front of the class than in my seat#idk i think i'm used to speaking Facing an audience. i'm good with that#like even if i'm shy n ngl my face wld be heating up n my heart wld be.. YEAH bcs anxiety i dont want to fuck up#but. talking in front like that i usually do well. my voice is usually. idk loud compared to what most ppl see me as bcs rlly im so. quiet#i'm shy but idk i have confidence w ^^#it's so funny though.. i probably seem intimidating ngl w being quiet but when someone talks to me i'm Shy. or whatever#yk when it comes to friends i rlly wonder how they're all like outside what i'm most used to#like. yk their other sides n all. it makes me. idk what word is best but >< yk when you realize you know these aspects of someone that most#don't? like. loving someone's music taste. or the way they help or listen or write. their talents n voice or wtvr n#you realize that. oh my god. you're so happy you're close w this beautiful person in your life.#i'm rambling idk i cld say so much more :<< when i love i really Love n i wna. show it to yk my family n friends n all#i'm so sleepy.. i think i always get even more like this when i'm sleepy wtf!#thinking of. i rlly just wna be myself but i end up subconsciously restraining some aspects of myself i think bcs of some fears#being Completely alone or unwanted? on the other hand i rlly do love unconditionally n wholly hfsjgsk i'll try to be kinder to myself .#IM RAMBLING I SWEAR IM SO SLEEPY BYE ILL NAP OR SMTH
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my doctor's appointment was fine. basically pointless, which I was expecting. I have an appointment with an ENT physician next week to see if the vertigo is because of my ears. and now I will probably have a nap because I'm completely exhausted.
#I'll also probably get my second covid booster next week#I really want to get it as soon as possible#apparently my heart rate was really high but she didn't really say anything about that except that she was surprised 🤷#I mean I have zero energy. I basically can't do anything. going to this appointment was SO exhausting. so like 🤷 is that really surprising#I genuinely don't know. I don't know anything about this stuff. but it seems like that would be expected for someone who can't exercise.#like at all#🤷#I'd really like to exercise!! I just CAN'T. even when I have enough energy it's not really worth it bc it makes me even more exhausted for#like. days. so.#lol I told her I have no energy + am dizzy most days. and she was just like 🤷#anyway maybe the vertigo is because of my ears idk I guess I'll find out. that still doesn't explain why I always feel like shit but#okay who cares it doesn't matter I guess#personal
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:/
#speculation nation#the writer can see ur bookmarks u kno#who starts an almost 500k fic only to complain about the timeframe being too long#like look. i know ive taken too long on the past 10 chapters. im getting there.#ugh.#doesnt make me feel better about the newest chapter im working on bc it's the observance of a date that acts as the final look back#b4 really moving forward with things#'probably going to abandon but the first 30 chapters are worth the reread' well my dude ur gonna miss out on aaaall the fun i have planned#ive been trying to like. make it clear that im revving the engine so to speak. things r gonna start picking up again soon#but apparently not soon enough.#genuinely tho. it's nearly 500k words. what the fuck do you think that's spent on? continuous action?#no it's that long bc i love to do Reflection. character analysis. reactions.#and theres a lot of stuff that's gone into smashing all their relationships together and sorting out the pieces#i guess if ppl dont like character analysis & reflection theyre not gonna like my fic. especially not the more recent stuff.#but it's not like Nothing is happening. ive still tried to make things read well as i sort things out#feels ungrateful. like i dont have to be posting this ya kno lmao#if u dont like what im doing then fine. but you dont have to mention it where i'll see it and feel shitty about it.#i tried to be like 'it's a valid point and i guess it makes sense to want to include that in a rec'#but no this isnt a rec. it's a public bookmark. which i look to as a form of secondary comments when i havent gotten any in a while#and i was real excited to see one with a note. only to read a fucking. mixed compliment i guess.#genuinely tho im one chapter away from genuinely moving on with things.#if ppl cant deal with me having more of a character and relationship perspective (in the character and relationship perspective fic)#then theyre not gonna see all the fun and evil plans i have later on. soooo sorry.#god i try to not worry about what others think and just try to write what i wanna write. but im only human.#i want ppl to like what i write. why else am i posting it on the internet?#but it's 7 am after a very exhausting day & right before another very exhausting say#day*#and i just feel so undervalued.#waa waa waa sound of a fucking baby (me). whatever. i'll get over it i guess. just feels shitty.
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I'm going to chuck my sewing machine out my window
#not really but GODDDDD I'M SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW#it'd be fine if my needle broke because that just happens sometimes#especially after a lot of wear and i had done a lot of embroidery with it#but NOOOOOOO#it BENT#UNDER the FOOTPLATE#so i cannot LIFT IT#to get my FABRIC OUT#or to make the needle EASIER to REMOVE#I'm sure with enough finagling I'll be able to switch my needle out but i think I'm just gonna leave it for tonight#honestly this is probably the last sign i needed to just go to bed. i should have hours ago#I've been stitching things wrong (will also have to seam rip it tomorrow) and i had to put on bandaids cuz I'm getting clumsy with my pins#i should've been to bed ages ago I'm just going to leave this here. maybe I'll get a snack or something#though if i stay up for another hour i could get my dad to help fix it so i won't have to stress about it as much#i don't know what I'm gonna do yet#i just kinda feel like crying#i gotta get these fucking plushies done man#i got two already paid for that i need to finish up and I've got 6 i need to take down to my local shoppes soon#not to mention that I'm a bit late on some commission work because the plushies are more time-sensitive#and i know my friend's understanding and is way more patient than they probably should be but i still feel bad about it#cuz I'm really excited to work on those!! they're some cool stuff i get to draw and I'm excited to get started!!!#i have had nothing but problems all day and now I'm getting sleep deprived because I'm pushing so hard to get them done#first my embroidery thread kept fraying and stitching inconsistently#which i have to cover up with other methods since i don't have the stabilizer to re-stitch it#and then my patterns didn't line up properly so i had to edit those by hand#and i accidentally stitched the tail on an alpaca too low so i have to seam rip and restitch the entire body because of it#and then i had to rush to not bleed all over my fabric when i got too clumsy with my pins#and i have an entire cloak that got fucked up and i have to seam rip‚ surge‚ and restitch basically the entire thing#and now my needles fucking bent under the machine and it's really hard to get out and I'm just really frustrated right now#i haven't had most problems like this the entire 5 years I've been sewing why is it all happening to me all at once i just feel like crying
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I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)
I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever
I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad
I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with
I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things
So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here
#mm tag so i can find things later#also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy#in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need#like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down#and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok#although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things#regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation#so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health#may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business#cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?#not that anyone will read this or particularly care#not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction#it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do#well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here#...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help#I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again#but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens#I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support#and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it#that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things#...no one ever hears or listens#anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help#...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day#probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out#at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better#like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure...#but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too#so I've given up; you know?#this is the best I can muster#don't say I didn't tell you
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Some headcanon questions for you!!
1- what is the diet of the Twili? Carnivorous? Herbivores? Omnivorous? A secret fourth option?
2- can Midna understand other languages beyond Twili and Hylian?
3- Do the Twili have livestock? What about other animals? I know they have big fuckoff birds but what else?
first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS !! ;0; i appreciate the curiosity and your time! these are all, like, a mish-mash of stuff i've considered over the years along with ideas that i've thrown together during the past few days. so if it seems all over the place... that's why, LMAO. and this is going to be LONG on top of all that too, sooooo... a read more is in order!
also, as a forewarning, a lot of this stuff is not wholly set in stone as i'm always working on new ideas and finding new inspiration for things. i believe the twilight realm is just as vast as any other realm, and what we see and experience in game is not even a teaspoon as to how much is in there. so just like any world, variety is OUT there, just. not all seen within one place. thus a lot of the stuff i'm about to talk about will mainly be concentrated on what has been generally seen from a game perspective. but, like. expounded on.
ANYWAY I'M ALREADY BABBBLING HERE. TO RAMBLES !!
» LANGUAGES !!
Midna is fluent in twili and an archaic version of hylian, and can read ancient zoran and gerudo. she wasn’t very interested in learning languages as a child, but because using relics and certain magicks requires an understanding of them, she had to try to learn them eventually. they aren't her strongest subjects, but thanks to becoming queen she has greater access to relics that have even older texts and hieroglyphics, thus her need to learn even more has increased.
since hylian was the predominant language of the interlopers ( but not the only ) it remained that way until it developed into twili over the years. Twili in itself is an amalgamation of all of the above languages that transformed over time thanks to an exposure of all sorts of influences. modern twili trends towards a more singsong like cadence, while older versions have a choppier, brusque intonation.
her archaic language proficiency is mainly text and phonetic. she is wholly fluent in both old and modern twili along with archaic hylian, though her time in the light realm exposed her to modern hylian, which has come to reflect itself in her current speech patterns.
» DIET !!
the twili diet predominantly consists of grains mixed with nuts and vegetables. proteins come in the form of mushrooms and eggs, the latter of which is their main consumable animal product. fruits are also a treat, but are not main courses in any meal, as they tend to be small but very flavorful. spices take center stage when it comes to all meals, and instead of a singular plate where all the food is served, their meals will be one main dish with some sort of grain set alongside several smaller dishes with pickled foods, dried and curried spices and saucers for dips and sauces.
while the original interlopers were banished with an assortment of things ( whatever they were wearing, tools they were using, animal companions, etc. ) very few actually survived their first century there. they had to rely on magic to transform what little wildlife already existed in the realm to sustain themselves, and due to their outside influence many different types of animals and vegetation were able to come into fruition. these new species needed almost constant assistance however, which made for a very narrow amount of variety to be had within their original stocks.
now that the twili people have grown accustomed to their home and environment, better sustainability has been achieved and they now have a broader selection of things to choose from — though eating meat is still seen as something of a delicacy. not many of the creatures that they have are suitable for consumption, and even more tend to return to the twilight not unlike the twili people do, so having any meat with which to consume afterward can be difficult to even obtain. this is why eggs are the most common and accessible animal product.
» WILDLIFE !!
the original flora and fauna of the twilight realm are still present in the world, but it is not as commonly seen or experienced by those who reside in the capital. however, given that the twili people have assimilated to their realm compared to their ancestors, they can safely recognize, traverse and consume whatever natural wildlife is in the realm before their influence. twili that live outside of the capital often bring in wares to trade and sell biannually, though there are travelers who can be sent out to pick up items from these merchants throughout the rest of the year if more supplies are needed.
some merchants travel with vehicles powered by magics, but those leaning towards more traditional methods have access to horse-like creatures to help carry their wares. in a traditional sense they’re like a combination of a camel and a horse, though they have a wider, stockier physique. they were specifically domesticated to help traverse wide landscapes with few pit stops for food and water, though they have to consume large amounts of both before and after their trips.
dometic animals are fairly similar to those seen in the light realm. this is not limited to livestock either, as house pets of all different types and sizes have either been domesticated or crossbred over time to serve as companions or pest control. the most common of which is a small creature that has developed a method of flight with it's ears.
indigenous animals have a thinner and more angular body type that requires small amounts of food sustained over longer periods of time. natural bioluminescence is present in almost all life there, as it is needed to see and communicate in their environment of perpetual low light. many, if not almost all wildlife is smaller than that of any found within the light realm, but they have… for lack of a better word, a denser quality to them. they are, essentially, their own diet, as they are made of shadow and must also consume what is made of shadow. not entirely carnivorous, but not wholly herbivorous either.
animals often seen and used within the capitol are small deer like creatures with two predominant teeth that curve out and backwards towards their ears. their wild cousins have shorter sets that look more like fangs, but the domesticated breeds have been kept so that their teeth serve for ornamental purposes. all species have a pelt that has reflective spots towards their sides and flanks, and tails with a pale underside that can be raised to alert their herd of any dangers.
avians of all types are helpful in transporting goods and people across all surfaces, but namely those in height. while technology and magic is a predominant proponent for all life within the twili realm, many still rely on their birds to travel to and from places, and some even own creatures that have been in their family for almost a century. these larger birds have crossbred naturally with wild ones over the years, which have since become something of a nuisance when in close proximity with domesticated animals.
certain creatures hold high respect in twilight culture as well, as it is said that every monarch has a divine beast that watches over them during their rule. you can actually tell who held the throne and for how long thanks to any iconography on pottery, clothing and other items that show a certain animal or beast.
again, as stated above, the interlopers who originally settled within the capital crossbred and raised their own animals with the native wildlife to reflect creatures and comforts they originally had from the light realm, but over time everything was influenced and altered to best suit a lifestyle within the twilight.
#i might try to draw some stuff at a later point#to better illustrate what i imagine lives in the twilight realm#but i wouldnt count on it LOL ;u;#i could probably go on about more creatures and environments but#the rest of what i have right now is very fragmented and even more ??? to me rn#i have a few gifs from other games that can explain and show better of what i imagine than i can here#so i might reblog those soon#sorry if things got confusing towards the end though#and idk if i stated it enough but bioluminescence is really REALLY key to all wildlife in the twili realm#the twili literally incorporate it into their tattoos and clothing#ALSO FOR DIET#i dont think i really explained it well but!!! there is more or less a fourth option??#which is the whole#consuming shadow thing#it's not really meat or vegitation#just#essence? i'll try to find a better method to explain it later#one last addendum but the deer i had in mind is like a mix between a tufted deer and white tailed deer#and ive rambled too much even in the tags smfh#BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FRIEND I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! ;0; <333#hc » behind the veil
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omg this is the first time a summer internship turned into something longer i never thought it would happen to me because my summer jobs are always busy work types but this time its at a nonprofit that does political advocacy which is what i'm studying and working on in school so it actually matches my ~career~ so idk but i still thought it would just end in august because i wasn't giving like my 100% maybe 75-85%.. but yeah i'm surprised they want me to continue until december.. that means i'll have regular income for like 4 months that hasn't happened since.. honestly i don't think that has ever happened i'm always living off savings from doing odd jobs here and there for a month or 2 so this is exciting and with all the financial aid disbursements and the summer internship income plus my fellowship fundings i will actually save up a shit ton of money and i won't have to worry about running out anymore ive been worrying about that for a whole ass year ever since i had to pay for this stupid apartment and i rented the airbnb to get away from my mom.. i mean it was worth it and its good that i have this apartment now but ive been seriously stressed about money for the past year so this is a really big relief that in a few weeks i won't have to worry anymore i feel like 5 times lighter now like idk i feel so much more relaxed maybe now i can stop spending so much money on weed
#bc it started with 50-60 a month and now its at 75-120 a month and that is not cute#either my tolerance is going up and i'm needing more or the brands i'm buying just suck but probably a bit of both#i do need to take a break for a few days so that when i use it again it actually feels good#i dont want to be Numb thats the entire point of using it in the first place#bc apparently real life is not stimulating enough for my ass#its probably just all the stress stopping me from being fully present and the weed helps me be more present#otherwise i think i would just fall into a heavy depression spiral#so harm reduction ig#i ration it even though its carts and not bud lmaoo#my limit is 2 puffs every 3 hours#recently its been like 2 puffs every 6-8 hours but then i couldnt go back to the art center for this whole week because of the bed bugs#soon i'll go back and it will be better because now i'm alone all the time again so its easier to smoke more smh#sigh stress stress everything stress all the time#k bye im gonna eat my sandwich version of chicken parmesan and watch pose#🧃
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