#I'd rather die than choose | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

phvnthom · 11 months

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Every single time I see one of those stupid posts that's like, "Being in your 20s is the worst decade of your life, you're not a person yet, oh you're such a baby still, stop glorifying youth, being in your 30s and 40s is where it's at, etc." Older people are not a pinnacle. Being older is not the great thing you think it is and it just sounds super infantilizing on top of it. Just absolutely rage inducing. Sorry, but worry about yourself and how your 20s lacked bc of your own personal failures and stop equating that to some profound realization.

#I'd rather stick the barrel of a gun to the back of my skull and blow my brains out than ever lose any sense of autonomy to time #'being in your 30s is so cool!' die already bite bite bite KILL KILL KILL #I'd choose to remove my skin and wear a black faceless mask sown into my skin forever than do that shit #but then again..... I've got a personality disorder and the way I feel about the world and the people in it isn't the norm #also if it takes you that long to realize basic things about the world and the way it operates you're just stupid #'you finally start feeling normal and then you realize no one is and it's freeing :) you figure out who you really are'#.....literally it doesn't take a genius to figure that out #and it's even more concerning that so many of you have the weakest sense of self imaginable #to the point that you have no idea who you are until you're past your 20s is just sad and pitiful

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darling-leech · 2 years

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TW: Venting, sorta unreality?, sorta implied suicidal thoughts/idealations(not actually planning on going thru with it tho, btw, so uh don't worry), Idk how to tag things sometimes.

Me: :/

*thinks about the fact that I'm actually a real life person with a shitty fucking life and and I'm not, in fact, my self insert OC, who has a way better life than I do(because I wanna give her everything I can't give myself), is, in fact, NOT real, and all this is just my imagination. None of this will ever be real. Also the fact that I'm scared shitless of dying one day because idk what happens when you die, and I'll probably just end up in a void somewhere amd not where I wanna end up(which is becoming my Self Insert OC in my imaginary world). Sometimes I also forget that NONE of my OCs are real, and the fact that I'm an actual real person(is that dissociation/depersonalization? Idk).*

Me: 😭😭😭😭

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humbleanger · 10 months

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#journal eb #today's thoughts #day started terribly bc i must've had a nightmare #felt incredibly vulnerable and had to force myself out of bed #the days keep passing and nothing happens #i don't do anything #sometimes i think i have to choose between having emotions and getting things done #like i have to choose if i want to keep my room clean and study for exams or if i want to feel things #i can't have both #i just feel stressed out but like all the stress is under a blanket #and now and then i accidentally lift it up and then it hits me full force #but it's always there just not as present #idk what to do #i wish i could talk to someone who would listen and actually push me to help myself #whenever i reveal the tiniest sliver of all the bullshit that's going on in my life all ppl do is frown and look at me with pity and move on #things are bad but most of the time i'm numb to it #i hate being alone i hate being so independent i did this to myself #i hate that vulnerability pains me and makes me so uncomfortable i'd rather die than experience it #i'm so fucking repressed i still feel like i'm seventeen and my world has just crumbled and no one can know #i don't know #i don't fucking know #i don't feel good

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cuubism · 1 year

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unhinged dreamling modern au #409430950

the bachelor

dream is bribed, threatened, and/or physically dragged by his ankle into being on a dating show by death and desire (for very different reasons, death just wants him to be happy and is very very desperate at this point, desire's just fucking with him again), and needless to say dream is not the target candidate for this. at all. sure he's pretty and rich but he's also a complete asshole. this is destined to go poorly.

(unless you're the show's producers who just want an unhinged television trainwreck that keeps people in their seats, in which case it's fucking fantastic)

hob is also there as a contestant because he's bored, single, and always willing to do something stupid. everybody on the show is taking it seriously except for dream, who'd rather jump off a cliff than be here right now, and hob, who's just entertaining himself.

dream: this is stupid (hateful) hob: this is stupid (having the time of his life)

needless to say this whole thing is a disaster. normally contestants are clamoring for the 'bachelor's' attention but dream just keeps being an utter jerk to everyone, making them cry, and causing them to actually drop out of the show. contestants: "i'd rather die than be with you." dream: "glad we're finally on the same page." like. dream doesn't even have to actively eliminate people. they just eliminate themselves because he's so insufferable.

hob isn't put off, though, this whole thing is hilarious to him. dream tries scaring him off and hob just laughs like "oh you're so cute, this is great"

dream: i hope you die hob: you want me so bad it makes you look stupid

the more people drop out of the show the more time dream and hob end up spending together, by necessity. unfortunately for dream's sanity hob is actually very charming and fun and inexplicably good at getting dream to smile. they have at least one proper heart-to-heart and hob is so kind to him, and dream hates him soooo much for it.

(of course he actually likes him, and it's the worst thing that's happened to him, maybe ever. he's in agony. he wants off this ride, please. maybe he wants on a different ride ahem.)

so now hob's properly invested in this stupid game, he's like oh that wretched stick of a man is mine (literally nobody is challenging him but he's being super competitive about it anyway). all it really results in is dream being MORE of an asshole both to hob and to everybody else. (dream: one time i had a crush on this guy and i didn't know how to handle it so i just wrote him a letter saying get out of my tv show). and yet every week dream could eliminate hob from the show but he never does...

anyway soon enough literally every other contestant has dropped out of the show and it's JUST hob remaining and he basically wins by default. dream absolutely will not be beaten or outdone and is like fine hob i'll call your bluff. marry me if you're so committed to winning. hob's like, bet :) (see: always willing to do something stupid).

they do in fact get married because they're both incapable of conceding defeat. then they're like well. what do we do now...

dream: going to divorce me now and take half of my money? run with your spoils? hob: idk, are you going to divorce me and finally 'free yourself from the torment of my presence'? dream: *sniff* then you would win hob: then i bet i can stay in this relationship longer than you :) dream, gritting his teeth: bet

anyway they manage about two months before dream, perpetually in agony over how aggressively he's into hob, is like fine, i concede, i can't take it anymore. leave me if you want, take my money, i do not care, only free me from this pain. hob: so... i win? i get to choose the prize? dream, utterly defeated: whatever you want hob: okay! and he kisses him

#today i bring more nonsense #tomorrow the same #dreamling #also i've never watched the bachelor in my life

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sage-green-matcha · 8 months

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FIGHT OR FLIGHT - ETHAN LANDRY ✈️

“It’s my move, fight or flight?” - Conan Gray

Content includes: gf! Ethan Landry, angst, betrayal…slight mention of reader getting horny ab sweaty Ethan (relatable) 😭

A/n: I literally adore Conan sm! I’ve been a fan of him for years and idk why I haven’t written anything based off his work! Hope u enjoy :)

<3

Well, fight or flight...I'd rather die than have to cry in front of you.

You swore your heart stopped as ghost face revealed himself. Ethan Landry, the so-called love of your life. The signs flashed in your face, but you were too in love to care.

"Y/n, hi sweet thing" You felt too betrayed to respond. All you felt was regret, anger, sadness. It filled every pore in your body and you felt like your heart was being stabbed thousands of times. God, you felt so stupid. You should've known. You shouldn't have let your heart get in the way of things.

Fight or flight?

Ethan knew it probably wasn't a good idea, to make you choose between him or your friends. But he did know you loved him, and he had manipulated you enough for you to think he was the only one who would ever love you.

"Come on Y/n, get the easy way out. It's life or death here" Quinn taunted you with her knife, Ethan watching you with curiosity.

"Y/n, don’t go with them. We can beat them together” Your eyes were watering, Sam’s figure blurry as she talked to you. "I can't, I can't pick" the answers was obvious. You had to pick your friends. But something inside of you told you to go with Ethan.

I'd rather lie than tell you I'm in love with you.

"We're waiting Y/n. Come on babe, you know you love me. I love you, I always will and I always have. Don't tell me all our time spent together meant nothing to you"

You didn’t want to admit it, that you loved him. He meant everything to you, but did you still feel the same after he revealed himself? You weren’t sure.

You knew you shouldn't listen, but it was so tempting. It felt wrong, to feel your core heat up at the sight of Ethan’s sweaty face. He looked so hot with a knife in his hand.

You started to question your sanity. He’s a killer, he killed Anika and who knows how many other people? But…he was your killer.

“What’s it gonna be Y/n?” You stood in between Ethan and Sam and Tara. “Don’t do it Y/n, please” Mascara ran down Tara’s cheeks, her hair and face sweaty.

You glanced back at the sisters before walking towards Ethan, cuddling yourself into his arms. “Y/n? Please, why?” Their lips spilled with cries, feeling betrayed by your decision.

“Shut up” Quinn’s words came out angrily, frustration shutting the sisters up.

“That’s my girl, now sit and look pretty while we work” He placed a kiss on your head and then your lips. The taste of blood in his mouth made you feel sick.

“Fuck you, Y/n. Hope you fucking burn in hell” Sam’s words hurt, but they wouldn’t mean anything after she was dead. This was the only way to survive. Also, you had the one thing you’d always wanted, Ethan Landry.

It's my move, fight or flight?

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mueritos · 2 months

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i hope we continue to see more protests within the US military. i see a lot of leftists and folks who are anti-military who have such an open disdain for the people who are in the military, yet neglect to considering the conditions this country makes to produce ideology, poverty, and the illusion of choice to make all kinds of people choose to enlist in the military. You ever see those videos of ROTC kids recording each other asking why they joined the military and everyone's like, "healthcare", "it helped me go to college", "I was bored" or "free ptsd lol". I hate to remind everyone but folks who are in the military are people, too, and they are the same victims and perpetrators of violence as the rest of you, we have all been shallowly conditioned to view each other as enemies just because one person is wearing army greens and the other is not.

some of the biggest anti-war advocates are those who engaged in war. Veterans who genuinely believed they were protecting the US against "terrorism" come back with blood on their hands, and they choose to realize that it was US imperialism that forced them to carry out violence, instead of doubling down and shielding themselves from the fact that they too are capable of atrocities... This is a class of people who are intentionally conditioned to be as poor and as ideologically aligned to US imperialism so that the military has a never-ending pool to send their youth to destroy other country's youth. The only people I have ever heard say "do not join the military" are those who ARE military.

This is in no way to ever excuse or explain away any of the atrocious war crimes and violence this industry and its people have committed against others. What I am saying is that we absolutely cannot cast aside the individuals who have been victimized within US imperialism, even if they are wearing army greens. I was speaking with my Palestinian classmate last week and another classmate--a member of the US air force-- walked up to me and struck up a conversation. My military classmate showed me her new bird, bid both of us goodbye, and left. My Palestinian classmate asked me if I was close with her, and I said we talked quite often, and she said, "I never met a person who's in the military. I still hate the military, but I never knew that they did, too. I didn't realize that they were also victims."

If my Palestinian classmate--one who is actively watching her own community die--can understand that it is not individuals who are the problem but it is in fact systems, US imperialism, white supremacy, capitalism...why can't we all? And she has EVERY reason to hate any individual military member. A lot of online activism just creates more barriers. if your optics look bad, complicated, or contradictory, you are cast aside. Everyone has got the be the perfect activist, you can never make a mistake or share a half-baked thought, you should always believe every word from a marginalized persons mouth (because being marginalized doesn't mean you're not entrenched in white supremacy too!) and you should never question what you see...Do you know what you sound like? The very imperialists who are convincing poor whites to vote against themselves. Perfectionism is white supremacy. Black & white thinking is white supremacy.

I'd rather have a military member who genuinely believed in the US imperialism machine but was disillusioned after being deployed as my comrade than some leftist who cherishes the performance of "being a good person". I don't want "good people" in our movements. I want humans who care. I want humans who make mistakes and who learn from them. I want humans who accept the messiness of a person. I want humans who hold others accountable and allow themselves to take responsibility for their actions. I want people who change for themselves and others.

fight systems, not individual people. we can change each other, but if we're too preoccupied looking like the World's Perfect Activists, we will only consume each other alive. Connect to your fellow humans, forever and always.

#muertotalks #a mind dump after seeing so much come out after the self immolation of the us air force member #i know hes not the first one to self immolate for palestine #and he might not be the last #i hate the military #i really fucking do #but i choose to see the people within them as victims within the overall system just like the rest of us #i will never go through what they did to make them choose to enlist #i never struggled with poverty homelessness healthcare or social acceptance #i wont shame them #shame is not productive #i want them to know there are civilians who support their protests #i want them to know that we their allies too #a note on my palestinian classmate #if youre arab or also a colonized person impacted by the us military feel free to hate every member of the military #i dont intend to police yall in how you choose to feel your anger #im angry with you #the point i mean to make is about understanding and compassion #someone who has every right to hate these people still chose to see them as the people they are #yes i even want the best for the “bad” people in the military too #i dont want these people to continue the ideology but we cant stop that without dismantling these systems #and we cant do that without creating spaces for healing and reform and growth #so many thoughts so many thoughts #none of this is easy #i fight daily against impulsively hating the world #everyday is a fight to choose compassion and understanding #but being a leftist and doing leftism is not fucking easy #if you genuinely think it is it isnt #and you may be missing the point of what leftism is #anyway

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enidwolfingout · 1 year

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the thing about show!tess is that you could feel how terrified she was of turning so her death is particularly heartbreaking this time.

she's frantically begging joel to go, saying she'll handle the runners and then one of them locks eyes with her and she's completely paralyzed. it's over for her, she already knew that but staring the very thing she's about to become right in the eye? whole different story.

in the game tess chooses to confront fedra soldiers by herself because she'd rather die than "turn into one of those things" and for a second i thought the show would give her the most brutal end and make her actually turn. each time the lighter doesn't work is just a little more gut-wrenching because it's her last hope at a merciful death, her last shot at going down as a rationale human being.

most of my friends read her death as a sacrifice so joel and ellie could scape and even though i absolutely agree and love her for it i don't think that's just it. i'd like to think that even paralyzed by fear tess simply refused to let herself be consumed by the cordyceps.

#the last of us #tlou #tess servopoulos #ellie williams #joel miller #the last of us spoilers

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haeryna · 2 months

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megumi x reader arranged marriage au but make it the scene from princess monoke where you've got your knife to his throat, except tears are running down your face. you should kill him, and yet as he lays in the grass in front of you, dark blue eyes watch you with nothing but tenderness. as calloused hands reach out to cup your face. nimble fingers smooth away the tears that trickle from your eyes. your hand is shaking. both of you choose to ignore it.

"you're beautiful," he tells you, and the knife drops from your hand harmlessly into the grass of the meadow. you're sitting on his chest, pinning him down. it must hurt by now, and yet his other hand reaches to steady your body, warm assurance resting heavy on your hip.

your trembling hand reaches for the knife again. you know he sees it, but makes no move to stop you. he can see the question in your eyes, fragile and terrified.

"if i were to die at your hands, i can think of no better way to go," he tells you, and as you pull your hands to your face to sob bitterly into them, he sits up. megumi tugs you towards him, tucking your face into the curve of his collarbone as you weep.

"please trust me. i'll take care of you," he promises earnestly. he presses a single tender kiss to your forehead when you gaze tearily up at him.

"i can't," you hiccup. "i-"

"i know," megumi tells you, holding you close, because he does. even through the stubborn anguish, he's never stopped watching. you're beautiful when ichor splatters against the wall from your blade, as red as the blood you manipulate through your veins. you're beautiful when he noticed the pain in your eyes that one time the barista asked for his number in the cafe near the tokyo station. you're beautiful as you demurely wear the kimono your family picked out for you to meet naoya zenin, which clashes fiercely with the hatred in your eyes. at this point he can't tell who you hate more. he hopes it's naoya.

(he thinks of the way he struggled to swallow, to breathe, when he saw you in that kimono. he dreams that you let him take it off you as he kisses every scar on your skin.)

"you can't," you're trying to tell him, saltwater clinging thickly to your eyelashes. "i'd rather die, megumi."

"i know," he repeats, tilting your chin up with his hand so you can see the serious look in his eyes. the zenins wanted to cage you, keep you as a shell of yourself, reduced down nothing more than a mother at best. megumi wants to set you free.

(even if you hate him? even if he'll never be able to tell you he loves you, forever doomed to a loveless union, a marriage only by name and nothing else?)

red ichor. iridescent tears. moonlight, and the dark of night. you are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. he knows you're the most beautiful thing he'll ever see.

"i know," megumi says, one last time. his heart catches in his throat. selfishly, he pulls you closer, taking in the scent of your perfume, and the shampoo you always insist on buying from kyoto. the moon shines on, and for a moment, he allows himself to wish.

someday, i'll tell you how i truly feel. but for now, please, just stay by my side.

#hush haerin! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ ｡꒱ྀི১ #haerinwrites #megumi x reader #jjk x reader #a short thing i wrote while procrastinating on homework #i use princess monoke VERY LOOSELY HERE #have not seen it in like #idk at least seven years

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poohsources · 8 months

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🐝 * ― 𝑨𝑽𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑹: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑩𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛ i'm angry at myself! ❜ ❛ it's easy to do nothing, it's hard to forgive. ❜ ❛ you miscalculated. i love them more than i fear you. ❜ ❛ there is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. ❜ ❛ but now you're not letting yourself feel anything. i know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. but you have to promise me that you won't stop caring. ❜ ❛ my own mother thought i was a monster ... she was right of course, but it still hurt. ❜ ❛ in the darkness, hope is something you give yourself. ❜ ❛ never forget who you are, for surely the world won't. ❜ ❛ why am i so bad at being good? ❜ ❛ it is important to draw wisdom from different places. if you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. ❜ ❛ sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else. ❜ ❛ and now you have come to the crossroads of destiny. it's time for you to choose. ❜ ❛ you may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place. ❜ ❛ protection and power are overrated. i think you are very wise to choose happiness and love. ❜ ❛ get over here, [ name ]. being part of the group also means being part of group hugs. ❜ ❛ stop! stop it right now! what's wrong with you? we don't have time for fun and games with the war going on. ❜ ❛ i'm too young to die! ❜ ❛ in my country, we exchange a pleasant 'hello' before asking questions. ❜ ❛ i didn't know what or when, but i knew i'd know it when i knew it! ❜ ❛ the past can be a great teacher. ❜ ❛ when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change. ❜ ❛ there really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place. ❜ ❛ failure is only the opportunity to try again, only more wisely this time. ❜ ❛ i wanted to take out all of my anger on them. but i couldn't. i don't know if it's because i'm too weak ... or if it's because i'm strong enough not to. ❜ ❛ look [ name ], you're going to fail a lot before things work out. even though you will fail over and over again, you have to try every time. you can't quit because you're afraid you might fail. ❜ ❛ while it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing. ❜ ❛ you must never give in to despair. allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. ❜ ❛ if we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too? ❜ ❛ you know, [ name ], i don't care what anyone else says about you. you're pretty smart. ❜ ❛ if i try, i fail. if i don't try, i'm never going to get it. ❜ ❛ let your anger out, and then let it go. forgive him. ❜ ❛ pride is not the opposite of shame, but rather its source. true humility is the only antidote to shame. ❜ ❛ life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. ❜ ❛ the greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same. ❜ ❛ you stand alone. that has always been your greatest weakness. ❜ ❛ bad skin? normal teenagers worry about bad skin, i don't have that luxury. ❜ ❛ in my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you stopped to use the bathroom. we die because of your tiny bladder. ❜ ❛ you need to find someone who waits and listens before striking. ❜ ❛ everyone has to be treated like they're worth giving a chance. ❜ ❛ i don't need luck, though. i don't want it. i've always had to struggle and fight, and that's made me strong. it's made me who i am. ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #tv starters #tv sentence starters #rph #type: meme

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galedekarios · 5 months

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devnotes: gale's last night alive / act ii romance scene

i thought i'd share the dev notes for gale's act ii romance scene here because i find they really add to the scene and the understanding of gale's mindset.

the desciption of the scene from the files reads as follows:

The player has accepted a invitation from Gale's hologram projection to come meet the real Gale at a secluded grove at night. There, they speak about how this may be his last night alive, as they near the heart of the Absolute, where Gale is destined to blow himself up. The player probes his mindset and can try to comfort him. Ultimately the scene may become romantic. Gale may lead the player to a magically-infused sex scene amidst the stars, or the player may determine they should take a more grounded approach.

and the cinematic context node is:

Gale: I love this time of light. node context: wistful

Gale: This may be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder... and with company to match. cinematicnodecontext: longing look at the player node context: full of longing - Gale: I thought this place might bring me peace. I thought it might make the weight of what I must do feel a little lighter... but I am not so sure. node context: a lot on his mind

Player: Is this truly what you want, to die for the promise of Mystra's forgiveness? Gale: Babe or crone, coward or hero, death is assured. Mystra's forgiveness is not. If you knew the end was near, would you not want to ensure it had meaning? nodecontext: Quiet dignity

Player: It's a heavy burden, yes - but one you're able for. Think of the good your sacrifice will do. Gale: I am trying. Believe me, I am. The path is set, and I will not stray from it - even as my heart quakes. I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

Player: Why are you so sure it's inevitable? We haven't even found this 'Heart of the Absolute' yet. Gale: I can feel it - ever since we set foot in this strange, corrupted land. The closer we get, the heavier my own heart becomes. nodecontext: Melancholic, comtemplative

the different branching paths open here for either pursuing the romance path, rejecting it, or choosing the friendship version, before then branching out into the astral sea scene, the more 'mundane' scene, as well as the rejection of gale's invitation:

cinematicnodecontext for the kiss: The player and Gale kiss seated on the ground. It's relatively chaste.

Player: I'm in love with you too. Gale: That's a relief. It would be a shame to spend my final hours making an ass of myself. cinematicnodecontext: relieved chuckle

Player: I don't feel the same way. Gale: I see... well perhaps this is for the best. Should my time be short, you will not be wounded too deeply by my absence. Thank you, for spending this time with me. I think I want to be alone now. nodecontext: quietly crushed

Player: I'd rather not listen to you wallowing in self-pity. Good night, Gale. Gale: A good night indeed. The fairest I can imagine... nodecontext: player gets up to leave. gale sadly looks away from them, returning his attention to the stars.

Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. [Approval_AtLeast_30_For_Sp6] Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either. Player: Stay with him and watch the stars in silence. cinematicnodecontext: The player and Gale silently watch the stars. The scene fades out.

from there on, the different versions of the romance scene can play out:

Player: I hope that wasn't a parting kiss. Gale: Not if I have any say in the matter. Gale: I want it to be perfect - to bond with you in the way that gods do... intertwining our spirits in visions of the Weave. nodecontext: gale stands, a little animated as he describes the possibilities of magic love. the player stands.

Player: Show me. Gale: How about the perfect night in Waterdeep? Yes... Let's imagine how it would be. The scene is this: you and I stand in the room that is the centre of my universe. cinematicnode context:

i love this line personally: this is gale's home and heart of his studies.

it really hammers home the point of what gale is trying to do here, showing the protag all of this, trying to cram as much as he can into this one night he thinks he has left with them.

cinematicnodecontext: Gale pauses, breathing in what illusory seabreeze he may.

i made a gifset a while ago of how deeply gale misses his home and it really struck a chord in me, reading this again in the nodecontext as well.

after this he introduces the book. there aren't many devnotes in that part except for this option here:

cinematic node context: cheeky grin node context: cheeky

after this the two paths diverge between the astral sea scene and the more 'mundane' scene:

the cinematic notes and node context notes for the astral sea scene are the following:

ending with a devnote for a wide cut and a fade to black.

the cinematic context nodes / node context notes for the version where you decline gale's offer are as follows:

Gale: the old ways then. If that is what you wish, so be it.

nodecontext: Tactful, bowing to the player's desires.

Gale: A small gesture towards your comfort. nodecontext:

and of course, there is a nodecontext/devnote too for the option to refuse gale at this point:

Player: This is a pleasant fantasy, but no more. Time to return to the real world. Gale: As you like. Thank you, for spending this time with me. If only there was more. nodecontext: saddened/resigned, but respectful Player: This is a pleasant fantasy, but no more. Time to return to the real world. Gale: As you like. Thank you, for spending this time with me. If only there was more. nodecontext: saddened/resigned, but respectful

anyhow, i hope someone found this as informative and interesting as i did. 🖤

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #tav x gale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 meta #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3

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amanita-muscaria-lover · 5 months

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Iron Flame lines that have altered my brain chemistry:

"She made her choice, and it wasn't you. It will never be you."

"I'd rather you scream at me than pretend everything is all right with silence."

"then what about the wabern, or whatever you called them?"

"Do I know something about the Archives that you don't?"

"And I still don't regret it, Vi. Not one second."

"You're all right... I'll be right here. I'm not going to leave you."

I look up into the wrath of Dunne in the form of gold-flecked onyx eyes.

"My heart only beats as long as yours does, and when you die, I'll meet Malek at your side."

The entire cliff, above and below, echoes it, as if the gryphons grieve the loss of the flier as one.

"You've earned an honorable death."

"My house. My chair. My woman."

"Look at how beautiful you are, Violet, coming for me on Tyrrendor's throne."

"That trick you mentioned? You know, with the fingers? Thanks."

"I fucking love you."

"I'm sorry. I choose your life, too. You are mine. I can't let you die."

"Less than a minute."

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justcallmecappy · 1 year

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One of the criticisms I've seen DA players have in response to Anders' actions at the Kirkwall Chantry is some degree of, 'his actions forced innocent mages into a war they had no choice whether or not they wanted to be involved in'.

What a lot of these players seem to miss is this: The mages were already involved. They have been involved since childhood, when their magic manifested.

If you are born a mage in Southern Thedas, you are marked. The Templars will find you, or your neighbors who were conditioned by the Chantry to fear magic will turn you in, and you are brought to the Circle where you are at risk of Tranquility, or Annulment, and subjected to a Harrowing. Your children born to you in the Circle will be taken from you to be raised in a Chantry orphanage (like Wynne's child was). You are not allowed to get married, or start a family, or own land. You are not allowed to leave your Circle ever, unless conscripted to fight in the army (like in the Fifth Blight) or fulfilling some whim or need of those in power (like Malcolm Hawke being made to entertain nobles at a party). You might be thrown into the dungeon and left to starve to death, like the mage child Cole (and other mage apprentices of the White Spire) did. You are at risk of physical and sexual abuse, like the mages of the Gallows were.

Innocent mages were already involved. They were already being killed, they were already fighting for their lives for centuries since the inception of Circles, long before Anders' actions.

Also, in the case of the Gallows specifically, Knight-Commander Meredith had already called for the Annulment as early as the beginning/mid of Act 3. The mages' lives were already in danger, even before the Chantry was destroyed.

Anders tried for six years to make people listen and show how magic is not meant to be feared and can be used for good -- by publishing a manifesto, by providing free magical healthcare in Darktown -- to bring people's attention to the plight of mages and change things for the better. It took the imminent threat of his people being slaughtered wholesale for him to resort to what is aptly titled 'The Last Straw'.

If players want to blame anyone for subjecting mages to a conflict they did not want, look no further than the Chantry and their system of exploitation and oppression over the mages. Put blame on the Chantry for forcing mages into lives they did not choose, and asserting methods of culling and control over them, simply for how they were born. It was the Chantry that gave them no choice whether or not they had a say in staying alive or dying.

And if DA players would still say that the mages could have tried for a more "peaceful route" to alleviate their circumstances (despite seeing how Anders' manifesto, his Darktown clinic, and years of trying to negotiate with Elthina failed and Meredith was calling for Annulment anyway): very rarely do the oppressed win change by pandering to the morals of their oppressors.

Innocent mages were already suffering and being murdered in droves, for centuries. Innocent mages were already involved in this struggle, whether they wanted to be or not. And Anders' actions at the Chantry was like a rallying cry: If we're going to die anyway, then I'd rather die trying to take them down than giving them what they want.

(Also, I have not yet gone into detail on what actually started the mage-templar war, which was the Seekers hiding the cure for Tranquility, and Lord Seeker Lambert's decision to dissolve the Nevarran accord and take the Templars hunting for the free mages across the countryside because he decided dead mages were better than free mages -- because that's a whole separate post.)

#da fandom critical #bioware critical #anders defense squad #da meta #in defense of anders dragon age #anders #dragon age 2 #chantry critical #templar critical #elthina critical #anders was right #mage rights #plight of mages #mage-templar war #sometimes the da fandom makes me want to flip tables #my meta

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dragonrider9905 · 20 days

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Celebrating You!

Hi guys! I’ve been on here for a bit now and while I never had a follower goal, I do appreciate you guys who have decided to follow me! So now I’d like to celebrate you!

In light of TBB ending, and how much we'll be missing the boys, I thought this was as good as a time as ever!

Here’s the idea! I’m opening a prompt request for the dates of April 5th through May 5th, 2024 (you may start submitting now though!) and choose from the prompts below! You can choose one from each category, or just one category. It’s ok if it is just the prompt or the prompt and a brief idea. If you have a fun idea or prompt not listed, please share!

Rules: I only write SFW. I typically write for clones; I reserve the right to refuse requests which make me uncomfortable for whatever reason. I have had a few requests in the past that really unsettled me for various reasons. Or if I don't know the character. I'd hate to try to write something then upset the person because it is so ooc that it's cringy. (But if I said I would write your request and haven't yet, I just honestly haven't gotten to it :D I like to do well on the stories you guys entrust to me so it does take me a bit :D)

This is supposed to be fun so lets keep it fun!

You may submit as many requests as you'd like! The more the merrier!

Characters: Star Wars Clone Wars or The Bad Batch (as long as I know them. I know a lot of clones but alas, not all.)

Story genre:

Classic SW! (Pick an era if they exist in more than one if you wish)

AU of choice (modern, western, pirate, mermaid, time traveling, etc if I’m unfamiliar with the genre, I may have to change it or request more details)

Dialogue Prompts:

“Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

“If we’re going to do this we’ll need—“ “A plan?” “No! Code names! Cool ones!”

“I don’t need to be anything to you. I just want my life to mean more to you than my death.”

“You are playing a dangerous game without even a glimpse of the rule book.”

“I’ve never been terrified of death, til he set his sights on you.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” “Yeah, you’re not allowed to ask that in this situation.”

“Where’s your shoe?” “The giant mud puddle in the road demanded a sacrifice.”

“Love at first sight doesn’t exist.” “Then how else do I describe the feeling I got when I first saw you?” “You…love me?” “Apparently not, according to you.”

“A fate worse than death….” “They’re burnt cupcakes.”

“White paint has more color than your face.”

“Why is there a dragon in my fridge?” “It was hot.”

“Touch **, and you’re dead.”

“I am the law.”

“Do that again and I’ll throw you out the window. Wait, what are you doing?” “Checking how high the drop is; seeing if it’s worth it.”

“I’d rather have you hate me than loose you entirely.”

“I have a mission but don’t know what it is.” “Well that sounds incredibly counterproductive.”

“I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties in your life.” “You are the worst at this comforting thing.”

“I don’t know if you’re aware of this but I’m quite petite.” “Really? I had no idea in our twelve years of friendship that you’re shorter than I am.”

“But what is power?” “Loyalty.”

“Don’t you sign to me in that tone.”

“I’m with him/her for better or worse.” “It’ll probably be worse.” “I knew that the day I met him/her.”

"I'm sorry I tried to kill you." "It's fine, but next time you should try harder."

"C'mon, like I need an excuse to spend time with you."

"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."

"The only one who gets to kill you is me."

“blood loss”? well it’s not lost. I know exactly where it went. right over there.”

“How the mighty have fallen!” “It’s a dropped chocolate bar, stop being dramatic.”

“Shit, we’re gonna die” “Now I don’t want to hear that negative attitude, look on the bright side!” “Yay! We’re gonna die! Woo!”

“How do you do it?” “How do I do what?” “Pretend you are ok.” “I’m not pretending.” “Yes, you are. Every single day and it breaks my heart.”

“Hey, so I know things are pretty f**** shitty right now but I need you to breathe for me.” “Wha-wh-wh-” “You’re having a panic attack. It’s gonna be ok. Just breathe with me.”

“Please, my arms—I can’t wipe my tears, don’t let them see!”

"Smiles are contagious!" "Don't worry, I'm vaccinated."

"I don't want to get involved, it's too risky." "Please do it for me, you're the only one I can turn to." "It's not worth it. You really want to lose everything? 'cause I don't."

"Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself?" "No"---a long pause---"actually yes, at Christmas time"

"There is a reason I go through that door first, It's to make sure everyone else walks back out"

“I can’t leave you here!” “You can and you will.”

"OH! Are you alright? Are you alright?" "Apart from being trapped under here, and maybe suffering from broken bones and embarrassment beyond what I am capable of handling. . . I'm dandy, why do you ask?"

Oh no, are you alright? You're covered in blood!" "Yes, it's yours, Now will you please let me take you to the hospital?"

"What did love ever do anything for anyone anyway?"

"What the hell were you even thinking?!" "You told me not to think!"

"With love comes loss, that's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it was all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."

“'Temporary stitches' all stitches are temporary if you have a pair of scissors and aren’t a coward" "What do you....that better not mean what I think you mean......" "Am I just talking about sewing stitches or sutures too? Maaayyybe?" "NO! Absolutely not!"

"I made the calculations, and boy am I bad at math."

"It'll be over soon, I promise."

"Working together again, just like old times." "Well, not just like old times."

"I am many things but not your enemy."

Action Prompts:

Forehead kisses

Palm/hand kisses

Dramatic rain scene

Touching foreheads

Jealousy

Dancing

Last stand

Christmas/Life Day celebration

mistletoe

Accidental hand touch

First date

First kiss

Spending time with the family

Bad day cheering up scheme

Pranks

Going to a pet shop

Going to the movies

Always go after the girl

soft spoken person has loud, unnerving scream.

Lullabies

Nightmares

injury

amnesia

pretend/mistaken to be married/in a relationship

cooking

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supercap2319 · 1 month

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"Alright, Lestat. I'll play your game, but I'm not going to be bullied into feeding on those you think I should. From now on, I'll choose the people that I want to drink from. And I won't kill them." Y/N said as the older vampire smiled, blue eyes shining in amusement.

"Dare I say it, Mon chéri? Are you actually standing up to me?" Lestat smiled again. "Because if you were really stupid enough to defy me, I'd kill you before you could even blink. Though, I'd rather not get my new suit dirty."

"Go ahead. I'd rather die than be with you." Y/N said, then was on his back as Lestat had his hand around his throat and squeezed hard. You ungrateful little brat! I give you eternal life and you whine and complain? You selfish little boy!"

"Go to hell!" Y/N gasped out as Lestat leaned down and crashed their lips together.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #lestat de lioncourt #Lestat x male reader #interview with the vampire #interview with a vampire #anne rice #sam reid #tom cruise

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entropy-game-dev · 3 months

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Phylogenesia Automatorum is out!! A roguelite / incremental / life simulation hybrid

Download it here!

Over the past couple of weeks I've been working on my entry for the New Years Incremental Game Jam 2024, and I finally submitted it late last night.

It's a silly little game where you tend to your garden of digital plants, hoping to generate enough Life and Death points when they spawn/die respectively, in order to buy more plants, mutate their characteristics, and expand the field in which they live.

Mutations and field properties will directly (and indirectly) change the plants' behavior on both a local and global level, with some very interesting and unexpected results. Numbers going up isn't always better either too, as, if you upgrade their stats too much, you might make a superplant that chokes the life out of the rest of your simulation and other plants!!

(Oh, and my friend did the music for this game, and it's awesome - each plant as their own instrument/track and they layer on top of each other as you buy more!)

It's a roguelite in the sense that each run you will be choosing between random upgrades, plants, and field tiles with various effects between simulation runs in order to try and maximize your point gains and stay ahead of the reset cost. It's not totally balanced (as it was whipped up in 2 weeks), but with a bit of knowledge and juuuust a hint of luck, you can make almost any run pop off! The goal is to buy all 10 plants and have them all produce points within a single run (representing a diverse garden or something, rather than a monocrop).

As I mentioned previously, it's based heavily on Conway's Game of Life, as I am a huge sucker for incrementals with hypnotizing visuals that change and evolve as you interact with the various systems at play. I took this idea, added a bunch of plants that are variations on the standard ruleset, and went from there.

You might also notice that I used some assets from Stellar Terminus, namely, the 3 sound effects, fonts, color palette, and, retro computer theming. I swear I can do other styles, just, er, not in 2 weeks when I already had quite an ambitious idea!

Over the coming days I'll post some more about the development of it, how I implemented certain systems, and a post mortem. You can probably imagine how datastructures-heavy this game was. In the end I had 1 object that ran the entire simulation, 1 that displayed the breakdown of how each plant was doing, and like 20+ objects for UI...

For now though? I'd love for you to try it out, play a few runs, and hear your thoughts on it!!

#gamedev #videogame #gamemaker #devblog #programming #indiedev #cellular automata #incremental #pixel art #roguelite #simulation #life sim

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plooto · 3 months

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⋆⁺₊⋆ shinunoga e-wa by fujii kaze // lo’ak sully , tsireya ⋆⁺₊⋆

!! genre . angst

!! warnings . weirdly formatted , lo’ak chose reader , no dialogue , metkiyana ! reader .

!! notes . idea from @thewiltedpeony in dani’s avatar server 😌 not promo but you guys should join :)

the relationship blooming between you and lo'ak was gradual. what went unoticed was how your friend tsireya was dealing with it. tsireya wasn't one to wear her full emotions on her sleeve, but the people did have an idea of how she felt about lo'ak - just not how deep her feelings for the outsider went.

..if i had to keep being seperated from you like this

i'd rather die..

tsireya pressed her hands to lo'ak's abdomen, instructing him on how to breathe properly. lo'ak was discracted, his eye flickering to her face that was much closer than any time previously. you watched as you coached neteyam, who didn't need nearly as much instruction as lo'ak did. you didn't want to say you were jealous, but you did favor your hands where hers were.

..i'd choose you over three meals a day..

you played with lo'ak in the water, chasing each other in circles with your ilu. brushing your hair from your face, the both of you broke the surface, smiling dumbly at each other. your heart raced as lo'ak smiled back at you, the pounding in your throat nearly too much to bear, but you couldn't care less. not when he was smiling at you.

what you didn't notice was tsireya standing off to the side, ignoring her brother's calls for the meal their mother just prepared. his calls fell on deaf ears as they rang watching you and lo'ak spend time together, utterly entranced with each other.

..even though it'll never be cured, i'm gonna cure it anyway, baby..

it wasn't like tsireya to lie, but she needed you away from lo'ak. to get you out of the moment - he would choose you every time and she knew it. coming up with some excuse of tuk needing your help, she finally was granted a moment with lo'ak - a moment. even though she was in front of him, she could tell his attention wasn't here - rather everywhere else, looking for when you.

for when you would return.

you returned faster than she thought, the task tuk needed help with barely taking a good half hour. tsireya watched as lo'ak's face lit up, his head turning to the sound of your voice as the rest of his body follows, his legs leading him to you. hsi attention tunnelvisioned to you - away from her. she watched as he placed his hand on your lower back, that same look in his eyes that he once gave her.

..if i had to keep being separated from you

i'd rather die..

the battle you had won was unbeknownst to you. the attention tsireya wanted from lo'ak, the soft touches and glances filled with adoration she wanted. all the moments you were now a proud owner of.

#atwow loak #loak imagine #loak x you #avatar loak #loak sully #loak fanfiction #loak x reader #atwow lo’ak x reader #lo’ak sully x reader #lo’ak x reader #tsireya x lo’ak x reader #. character // loak sully

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