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utilitycaster · 4 years

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freckledmccree

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“Cumulus Rocks reminds me that once I made a list of the most goth...”

okay, but i'm gonna need to see that list

Oh believe me I wrote this with this list on hand just in case. I split it by class and to an extent alignment and I’ve updated the commentary (and in the case of the rogue, the subclass itself). I had forgotten about Yasha, Fig (kind of), Vax (kind of) and Liam (Wilhemina, not O’Brien). Liam W. is not quite as pastel but he is a very pink boy and Fig ended up changing to college of lore but she is more of a punk goth. I posit that as soft lovers of flowers who also happen to be very good at killing, while Vax and Yasha are more classic goth in their aesthetic they could be swayed into the romantic goth category, if not full pastel. Oh and also I believe Emily’s character on NADDPod’s recently finished campaign, which I will start listening to very soon as I’m almost caught up on RQG, is Circle of Spores but in a very not goth way, but don’t @ me or spoil me on that.

Barbarian:

Inherent gothness of the class: unless you want to make easy jokes regarding the Germanic tribe, low, usually. You get angry and you fight things.

Path of Zealot. In addition to the necrotic damage option, you get the most goth ability of all, the ability to keep fighting while raging even when you are technically speaking, dead. You are also very hard to kill and easy to bring back from the dead.

Bard:

Inherent gothness of the class: very low in the classic interpretation although between the spell list as is, magical secrets, and RP you can do a pretty good job. I’m of the opinion, however, that it’s best to lean into the glam influences here, since bards are pretty glam. Think Lovecats Cure, not A Forest Cure.

College of Whispers. You can capture the shadow of a fucking dead person and cause all kinds of fear effects.

Cleric:

Inherent gothness of the class: medium to high. D&D is rife with religious imagery and having a cleric in the party is an opportunity for the DM to put you up against all kinds of undead, have you explore catacombs, etc, etc. Plus, all clerics get plenty of necrotic and radiant damage access plus resurrection spells and similar.

Grave Domain, in which you respect death as a part of the life cycle and hate undeath. (note: Death Domain is only in the DMG so usually players can’t pick it and it’s also pretty explicitly Evil Only).

Druid:

Inherent gothness of the class: as in the PHB pretty low - you turn into animals, and you can’t even turn into a bat until like, 8th level. Outside of the PHB it gets a little more Fey and a lot more goth.

Circle of Spores, which is into death and decay and okay with undeath to an extent, so a good way to be sort of neutral on vampires without going full evil. Circle of Twilight is a very close second.

Fighter:

Inherent gothness of the class: I would have said super low back in the day before I saw the continuum of Goth v. Prep rather than Goth v. Jock. For truly, these are the jocks of D&D. As such I’ll still say low, but not unheard of.

Monster Hunter. It is literally in the Unearthed Arcana: Gothic Heroes, and it lets you slay monsters, plus engage in some light mysticism. It also provides the ability to improve your arcana skill. Do you want to play John Constantine in D&D? Yes you do.

Monk:

Inherent gothness of the class: low. You’re sort of too busy being both a nerd and a jock (martial artist) to get really deep into Cocteau Twins.

Way of the Long Death. You study death extensively (goth nerd with jock tendencies?) such that you can drain the life from others (but only after you already brought them to 0 HP, so it’s not vampiric), scare people, avoid death yourself (but not in an undead way), and do necrotic damage.

Paladin:

Inherent gothness of the class: medium. Despite the fighting nature, it’s one of the more aggressively medieval classes, plus we again get that religious imagery/catacombs option.

Oath of Vengeance. It’s also a bit more dramatic and definitely dark, and they get the Bane spell which is pretty goth. (note: the Treachery option is also pretty goth but again it’s more geared towards villainy and evil alignments only).

Ranger:

Inherent gothness of the class: medium. You live in the forest alone and have weird nature magic. Whereas Druids are a little too hippie to be goth, Rangers fit the bill.

Either gloom stalker or horizon walker. Gloom Stalker is a little more industrial and gritty; Horizon Walker is a little more ethereal. Both go into dangerous and arcane places and tend towards shadowy evasive maneuvers. I think Gloom Stalker wins, but only just.

Rogue:

Inherent gothness of the class: high. You skulk in the shadows in black leathers like, as a class.

The Revived. Not sure why this is explicitly a rogue class because presumably anyone could be revived...unless maybe the process of being brought back makes you want to be a rogue? But anyway you slowly realize that you are not on your first life and sort of channel your past life and also are sort of undead and can talk with corpses.

Sorcerer:

Inherent gothness of the class: high. The arcane casters, bar the Bards, are all pretty goth as a concept, and the innate ability of the sorcerer is a nice touch.

Shadow Sorcerer. You literally are said to exist between life and death. You can get a hound of ill omen. You can teleport between shadows. You have ties to the Shadowfell, aka the plane of gloom. It’s very extra.

Warlock:

Inherent gothness of the class: literally as high as possible without fucking Pretty much all of them. I’d argue in fact that Celestial and Archfey are the least goth, but you could get Archfey to work what with the planar magics and scaring people. As written, Hexblade has Shadowfell elements although everyone kind of ignores that piece of lore; also per mostly ignored lore the Raven Queen is the queen of the Shadowfell. Undying involves a pact with an immortal who gives you basically the top hits of the necromancy spell list, the Seeker sends you into the astral plane, the fiend is literally a being from hell, the Great Old One is all Lovecraftian and eldritch, and while I’m not a huge fan of the modern setting idea, the Ghost in the Machine sounds pretty fucking cybergoth too. I think Undying probably wins (especially since most disregard the Hexblade lore) but all can get there.

Wizard:

Inherent gothness of the class: medium. Robes and a wizard hat aren’t as fashionable as you’d think, and that nerdiness can end up being a little too cheery, but still as an arcane caster they’re naturally pretty goth.

Necromancer, obviously

#freckledmccree #d&d #important research in goth d&d studies #dungeons & dragons

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andsotheuniverseended · 4 years

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i just listened to episode 51 of naddpod and felt that i needed to write a thing

Proect The Bags, Balnor

The world ends long before Balnor is born.

He hears stories about it, passed down through generations. The Courts, the gnomes, the free folk. There are even some surviving stories about the other plane, the one the halflings supposedly came from. It’s been so long no one can remember why they migrated to the Feywild. Some believe it’s a tall tale, that they were never anywhere but here.

Balnor listens to the stories anyway. He likes the idea that, somewhere, halflings are free, not confined to a small piece of land. He especially likes the stories about heroes, the ones who fought the UnSeelie. Balnor entertains the idea that he might have been one of those heroes. Perhaps he would have fought off ten enemies at once, all by himself.

“We are the descendants of the ones who weren’t there,” his mother tells him when she catches him swinging a stick like a sword. “The future belongs to the survivors, not the heroes.”

Balnor looks out at his little village, at the protective bubble around it, and wonders where they would be if all the halflings had been at the Summer Court.

Balnor likes fishing. It is quiet, and good work. The people in the village need to eat and he can provide for them. The only death involved is that of the fish, and Balnor thinks to himself that perhaps they are heroes. Taking the hook so that some other fish did not have to.

It’s his own private joke.

He first went fishing when he was a child. His father took him along, made him sit with the pole. Balnor had complained, not wanting to waste his whole day on a skill he thought easily acquired. To catch fish required only a pole or a net, and to hold it in the water. What was there to teach?

“The only way to catch a fish is patience,” his father had told him. “And patience is learned."

Balnor sits by the river, still and calm. So long as the bait is fresh and his hand is steady, the fish will come eventually. - Marianne comes running into the clearing, armor clanging and sword swinging by her side. Balnor looks up from where he sits with a pole and she looks a little guilty.

“Sorry, I must’ve scared off all your fish,” she says, apologetic. As long as they’ve lived in peace, there’s still those who train. Practice wearing armor and swinging swords just in case. Balnor had thought about being one of them, but fishing came to him easier.

She looks beautiful in armor.

“They’ll come back,” Balnor says. Her smile is so bright he can feel his heart skip a beat. - “My mom didn’t like the idea of heroes,” Balnor tells her. They’re sitting by the river again, but not for fish this time. His palms are sweaty and he’s nervous, but Marianne hasn’t seemed to notice. She’s been talking about how she’ll defend their village should the UnSeelie ever find them.

“Without heroes, how would we even be here?” Marianne asks.

“The heroes aren’t our ancestors.” They’re the same words as his mother but he finds he believes them a little bit less when looking into her eyes. “The heroes didn’t build our roofs or catch our food."

“I guess we need both, then,” Marianne says decisively. “I’ll be a hero, and you can be a fisherman.”

“You go out and fight, and I’ll have dinner ready when you come back,” Balnor jokes. Marianne leans a little bit closer and Balnor swears she must be able to hear his heart with how loud its pounding.

“That sounds perfect,” Marianne tells him. - Balnor looks down at the little creature in his arms, sees the wide bright eyes staring back at him. It feels so small and fragile. He keeps thinking that his grasp will be too tight and he’ll somehow break this tiny bundle of joy.

In bed, Marianna is exhausted but happy, gazing at them both with loving eyes. To Balnor she has given him the most precious gift.

“I’ll protect you,” Balnor says, softly. “I won’t let you down, Bobby.”

“Of course you won’t,” Marianne murmurs. Balnor sits down on the bed and together the two of them look at their son. - “Me?” Balnor says, looking up at Alanis. He’s heard of her. She’s a legendary hero. Marianne would love to meet her. “I’m a fisherman, not a fighter. How can I help?”

“You’d be surprised how many wars are won because of one good fisherman,” Alanis says. “I’ve been looking for a long time, Balnor. You’re exactly what they need.”

Balnor looks around, at his village, at the protective bubble. No one seems to notice Alanis’ presence. From somewhere else he hears the sounds of children playing. Marianne is out hunting. He needs to make sure there’s food on the table when she gets back.

“This is my home,” Balnor says. “My family needs me. I can’t go." - Bobby is holding up his finger, tears in the corners of his eyes. There’s a small bead of blood from where the thorns got him, and his lip is trembling slightly.

“You said I’d get hurt.” Bobby looks up at his father. “I should’a listened.”

“The only reason I knew that is ‘cause I used to play in those same dang bushes when I was a kid,” Balnor says. “And now you’ll know better for next time.”

Balnor tends to his son’s finger and wipes away his tears. It isn’t long before Bobby is ready to run back out and probably get himself hurt again. Balnor watches him go and starts preparing a sandwich for when he’s done playing. - The world ends while Balnor is fishing.

He returns to a pile of charred rubble, bodies strewn about. Some burnt beyond recognition, others covered in stab wounds. It’s not hard to figure out what happened here.

Bobby is laying on the ground, cold and still. Balnor gathers the body to his chest, holding him as tight as he can. It’s too late. There’s nothing left to hold on to.

Marianne is outside of their home, sword in hand. He lays Bobby down next to her. He will have to dig a grave for them both. He will have to bury all of his neighbors in the ashes of their homes.

Balnor digs out old, long-unused armor. He picks up a sword and swings it around like it’s a stick. He’s got a long way to go. - Fighting doesn’t come naturally to him. The training is hard and progress is slow and he doesn’t know for sure if he’s doing any part of it right at all.

Sometimes he wonders why he’s trying to learn how to fight. To hunt down the UnSeelie? One encounter and he would be dead without question. It would be a stretch to think he’d even be able to bring one of them with him.

To protect- to protect what? There’s nothing left for him to protect. It’s all gone. He failed.

There’s a small, quiet hope in the back of his mind. It whispers that maybe Alanis will come back. Maybe he’ll get a second chance. That’s why he trains. If there is another chance, he’ll be ready.

His sword in one hand and a sliver of hope held close to his chest, Balnor keeps on training. - Alanis returns.

He is not a hero, but she tasks him with helping to protect the future anyway. There’s nothing left for him in this timeline, and so he prepares for the next. - Balnor steps into existence in front of a young halfling boy. He has been tasked with protecting something important. It must be this boy. It feels right, to protect him. This must be what he’s meant to do. - Beverly, Hardwon, and Moonshine are fighting. They’re always in danger, one way or another. It feels strangely familiar to be standing in the back, watching.

Balnor holds tight to the bags. This must be what he was meant to do. It feels right, letting them be the heroes while he prepares the sandwiches. This must be right. He clutches the bags closer, prepared to defend them with his life. He has been tasked with protecting something important. He won’t let Marianne Bobby Alanis them down.

#im not actually caught up on naddpod so this is definitely not canon compliant but i was inspired and listen i needed to #naddpod #not another dnd podcast #Balnor #Universe Ends Posts #my writing #welcome to bahumia

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utilitycaster · 4 years

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I must say even as a Dimension 20 and 8-Bit Book Club fan I never thought I'd get as into Naddpod as I did. It was of course tears-in-my-eyes funny from the jump but those first two arcs don't give you a sense of the bigger picture. It was only with Galaderon that I realised, oh shit, this podcast is gonna make me cry. I'm at A Faerie Tale currently.

It’s extremely good and the Feywild arc is one of my favorites! This blog is going to be a space that is not at all spoiler free btw - I’m in the final arc of the campaign - so please block whatever tags/temp unfollow/whatever you need to do.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but when it comes to making you cry I don’t actually think there’s a real difference between a quote-unquote serious campaign and a comedic one. Like, NADDPod and D20 definitely go on ridiculous riffs more often than say, Critical Role (which in turn has no shortage of incredibly funny moments), but you still get invested in good characters and care about them and since D&D has random elements bad things can happen to them and you care about that.

I also am finding that a funnier campaign is able to really hit hard with the tragedy because of the increased contrast - the same sort of event will feel so much more intense and devastating if it comes after some ridiculousness vs. if it’s coming after some very neutral or slightly less tragic stuff.

#anyway i'm in the final arc of naddpod i haven't listened to like. any of the other million podcasts i listen to in a week #join me in this fun hellscape #i think i'm going to hit the final episodes on the weekend just timing-wise so that i can be destroyed at my leisure #naddpod #Anonymous

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