Debate Notes

Trump keeps saying that 2.2 million people were “supposed” to die, as if our 200k figure is some miraculous lowball, that nothing more could be done to stop the virus; we have 4% of the world’s population, but 20% of deaths.  There’s no excuse for this.

Trump says the vaccine is done and ready, but also says that a ton of companies are working on it.  It’s either ready or it’s not, it can’t be both.

“Other countries, in particular Europe.”  Now, the stereotype is that many Americans are so stupid that they think Africa is a country, but Europe?  Europe?!?

Trump keeps saying that H1N1 would have been so much worse if it was so much worse.  “He did such a bad job handling it.  Sure fewer people died, but if more people had died then he would have done a worse job.”  Am I taking crazy pills?

“I want to slink away to some bunker and go away for a year and a half.”  So do we, Donny.  So do we.

What is your message to worried parents about opening schools?  “They need to stop being wussies and let us open up; people are committing suicide and abusing drugs and alcohol because everything’s closed”  FUCK YOU, DONNY

“The restaurants are dying!  You can’t do that to people!”  Oh, so he cares about businesses dying, but not people.  People die all the time, dime a dozen, who cares?

“New York, my beautiful city...”  They hate you. Donny.  They hate you so much you changed your voter registration to Florida so you didn’t have to be associated with them.  And we hate you too; urns out a state full of minorities, women, and old people on social security don’t like racist misogynists who cut social security.

Trump keeps saying he could “blow open” Biden’s financial records and destroy his campaign, “but I don’t want to do that.”  I could ruin you, but I’m not going to.  I have so much dirt on you, but I’m not gonna use it.  My dad works at Nintendo, he got me the new 4DS, but I’m not allowed to show you guys.

Trump has chosen the ever classic “no, you” defense.  I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you

He brags about how under his administration there’s no war with North Korea.  Huge milestone, considering the US hasn’t been at war with North Korea since 1953.  The North and South are still technically at war, there’s no peace treaty, just a prolonged armistice, a ceasefire; the “demilitarized zone” is the most militarized zone on the entire planet!

As soon as Biden called his hypothetical healthcare plan “Bidencare,” Trump started writing something down.  You KNOW he’s going to pitch something called “Trumpcare” during his lame duck period.  All he wants is something with his name on it, he’s pissed off that he hasn’t gotten an elementary school or a road or a naval ship yet.

“Biden’s been there for 47 years, and he didn’t do anything on healthcare.”  He hasn’t been president for 47 years.  Donny has been president for 3 years, and he has done jack shit.

Trump is really looking us in the eye and saying “Biden will end social security” while he himself is currently ENDING SOCIAL SECURITY.  He is stabbing us in the chest and saying “aren’t you mad that that guy over there is stabbing you?”

“We have 550 kids who don’t know where their parents are.”  “Good.”  Somebody needs to blow his fucking head off already.  Gloves are off, this man needs to die.  Somebody has to be willing to die to take this man out; killing a president is an immediate death sentence, you don’t get to plead insanity, you can’t get life imprisonment instead, you don’t even get to stay on death row for years and years.  If you kill the president, they kill you quick; they either kill you extra-judicially like Booth and Oswald, or they rush you through the legal channels like Guiteau and Czolgosz.  Surely somebody, anybody, is willing to take one for the team, give their lives to end his.  It’s like the end of that Twilight Zone episode It’s a Good Life, “quick, somebody, while he’s focused on me, grab a bottle or a lamp or something and bash him across the skull with it!  Somebody end this!”

Wind is apparently dirtier than natural gas.  And batteries don’t exist, so when the wind stops the power stops.

People are getting sick because you’ve cut chemical plant regulations; how do you respond?  “They get so much money, they pay so little on gas, I saved them!  They’re welcome!  A little cancer, a little black lung never hurt anybody.”

FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND EVERYTHING HE STANDS FOR

FUCK THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND CONSERVATISM IN GENERAL

FUCK HALF THE COUNTRY THAT VOTES FOR THEM

If a handful of midwestern assholes aren’t fed up with Trump’s horseshit yet and fuck the entire country over with another 4 years of this, then they’ll have no one but themselves to blame.  Who would have thought that the unholy lovechild of Andrew Jackson, James Buchanan, Herbert Hoover, and Richard Nixon would be a shitty president who destroys the whole country?

Forgive me if this comes across as ignorant, but I genuinely Do Not get the sentiment of “is this what you wanted liberals?” when it comes to voting for Biden. He’s shitty, I know, and people need to be fighting back more, but if he wasn’t elected in November, Trump would have been, no other options, and surely this is better than that, right? Biden isn’t a solution to anything, but are y’all implying that voting for him wasn’t better than the alternative? Or are you just mad at people that are acting like the election solved our problems? I feel like I’m missing something here. What would you rather people have done in November if not vote for Biden?

(Signed, a confused baby leftist)

there are two things to understand as a baby leftist:

one, voting means nothing if it is not backed up by sustained civil unrest and direct action. every single right you have has been earned through blood. unions did not get us a 40 hour work week and labor protections peacefully. civil rights leaders were (and are) killed, beaten, threatened, and blackmailed. 

two, the US Democrat party (and non-US Liberal parties) is a controlled opposition party. they essentially exist to point at the GOP and go “they’re awful! we’re not them! vote for us!” without ever doing anything substantial that makes them an ACTUAL alternative to the GOP.

re Trump and the Biden alternative:

we’re in a global pandemic and the DNC (committee that controls Dem policy) refuses to support M4A. Trump one upped the Dems by saying the second stimulus should be 2k a person while Bernie has been the only consistent non-GOP senator to call for monthly checks. FOSTA, SESTA, and SISEA have all been co-authored by Dems.

every time you see a Dem decision that seems stupid, bizarre, or otherwise nonsensical... it is because they are controlled opposition. once you accept this, their “”blunders”” make complete sense.

the problem with this election is twofold IMO. Biden is UNEQUIVOCALLY worse for the Global South--and specifically Latin America, who are trying to yet again break free from US Imperialism. Trump is unequivocally worse for the domestic US, but Biden also isn’t much better; he promises a return to “normalcy” when that normal still did nothing for millions of Americans.

the second part is that Trump has already stacked the courts with cronies. Biden is unwilling or unable to oust them. And like I mentioned before, the controlled opposition of the Dems means that even if their “platform” manages to win the Senate, we have zero guarantee of a full Dem government doing anything.

i will repeat what I’ve said since the election happened: we still need to make it to January, and we still have no guarantees Biden will keep ‘progressive’ promises when he keeps saying he wants to extend an olive branch to the GOP. Compromising with the right means death, for a lot of people both inside and outside the US.

another monday

well it’s 6:27am as i’m laying here in bed on a monday morning and just kinda want to get some thoughts out. idk if it’s because i need to work through them or if i need to clarify things or what but just kinda let them out of my head and see what happens. it’s not a rant because i don’t feel angry or anything negative, i just think i need to kinda talk it out. so that’s what i’ll do and hope that it clarifies why i’m feeling such a strong urge to do whatever it is i need to do with these thoughts/feelings so i can move on. it’s weird this feeling i’m having because it’s one i’m not used to. i’m not like venting because i’m mad like i said, i’m not feeling the need to like clear my head or idk, i just can’t explain it. it’s just very weird so hopefully me putting the words on “paper” aka screen will help accomplish my brain with whatever it’s trying to do with these things that keep floating around. 

so the first is about my most recent ex. i mean we only dated for 2 months and were only happy for half of that but i saw an IG story with him and a new girl which based on the matching outfits and body language, i can tell it’s more than a friend. i was really upset about this when i saw it 2 days ago and i don’t know why. i’m not jealous because he’s dating someone else because i don’t want him at all, i just think i’m jealous that he was able to find someone else and i haven’t. honestly i haven’t tried at all so i can’t really complain but it’s like okay here’s this man child with all sorts of issues that i can’t even get myself to go into right now because i don’t want to start my day off mad and he can find someone else so quickly and here i am, in this shitty mental place, alone and even though i know i’m nowhere near in a good head space to attempt dating right now, i still want to have someone and feel that closeness and happiness with someone again. i just think it’s hard because with him, things were so beyond great at first and we skipped the awkward getting to know you phase because we clicked so well so fast that i felt like i had known him forever and to have something so great, such strong happy feelings go from 0 to 100 and then such a short time later come crashing down has just fucked with my brain/emotions a little bit. i finally after so long thought i had found someone that was the one and who made me happy and everything was great only to find out quickly after that we were just so not compatible at all and to be dumped back in that miserable like jail cell of loneliness again just makes it that much harder. now look, is he the right one for me? fuck no not at all. do i want him or want him to be the one? FUCK no. i’m gunna be petty for a second because i just want to and this might be the venting part of it but like i want/need someone who shows me they’re physically attracted to me and compliments me and who i have that sexual connection with (not just during sex but like all the time - like there’s passion there, not just a friendship connection where we have sex sometimes and that’s when it goes right back to friends... idk i’m not explaining it right but i know what i mean). like the fact that i felt like the pervert or the sex fiend for wanting to have sex more than like once a week in the beginning of a relationship (which is when people are normally fucking every chance they get and that fire is as bright as it’ll ever be) just is not going to work for me. like don’t get me wrong, i don’t want a 24/7 fuck fest but like if i’m standing naked in front of my partner after a shower or while getting changed and they’re not like making comments or trying to be sneaky and catch a glimpse at least some of the time, i want there to be some acknowledgement. it makes me feel really insecure like is he not attracted to me? like i’m a naked woman standing in front of you and you’re well aware i’m naked and you’d rather look at soccer jerseys online?? and if this happened like once or twice, fine but it was every single time and i had to initiate sex every single time and he COMPLAINED about me wanting to do it again like 3 days after the last round... look i know not everyone has the same appetite for this kinda thing but like come on... plus when it did happen, it lasted like 5 mins at most sometimes and it was just a tease and would give me lady blue balls and with each “round” i just became more and more sexually frustrated and never got that release. combine that with feeling insecure about my body and him never showing any interest in being physical or me like that in general, it’s gunna fuck a girl up. and it’s not like i’m looking for crazy acrobatic sex acts, i would just like to be able to like fuck, not make love but fuck, without 5 mins in, him having to finish because he feels like he’s going to have a heart attack at the age of 32. like what? i know i was spoiled with THE ex who would fuck the living daylights out of me every chance he got and was the best i’ve ever had by far (the crazier they are in the brain, the better they are in bed what can i say) but like going from that to a guy who showed like zero interest in doing it at all and said it wasn’t something he thought about or wanted that often... idk somethings wrong there because i should not be made feel like a nympho for wanting sex more than once a week. now was sex the only issue? no lol the list goes on and on and honestly, we just weren’t meant to be and i’m honestly fine with that. i’m not jealous that she’s with him or whatever, i’m jealous that he has someone and i don’t. that’s the bottom line of it. like i didn’t want to like text him when i saw it or like reminisce on the good times so it’s not about him as a person at all, it’s about how single i am and how badly i want to find my person and be happy with them even though the logical side of my brain knows that now is not the time. if someone happens to fall out of thin air and appear in my life, then yes i’m going to pursue it but i don’t think actively looking is the best idea right now until i figure some things out. 

onto the next thing - i never in a million years thought that i would be talking about this or how much this would effect me but the election/trump. in the days leading up to biden winning when we didn’t know who it was going to be, my anxiety had been at an all time high and i knew it was related to that but i didn’t know why. like yes there’s the general he’s a waste of life and a piece of human garbage and having such a mentally fucked up person in charge has already fucked over so many people (the people he put in cages and separated from their families, trying to make abortions illegal again, the inciting of race issues/future wars and just pitting groups against each other and inciting violence, being such a terrible role model in how racist/problematic/rape-y/etc he is, the list goes on and on) but like i could tell it was something more. then out of nowhere a memory that i had suppressed for a few years until now just popped back into my head. it was on my birthday like 3/4 years ago where dani and i were walking home after having like a perfect night and had the perfect buzz going and life was great. until some random guy came up to us on the 3 block walk back to her apartment and i could tell something bad was going to happen but i figured it’d be the usual creepy comments and that would be the end of it. but no he came up and probably said some creepy stuff (not sure, that part of the memory didn’t come back) and then did what trump said he did all the time to women he wanted to have sex with aka “grab them by the pussy” and then as dani and i were running away, he said something along the lines of “what, i just wanted to grab the pussy” or something along those lines, again my memory is a little hazy since now i was just traumatized. but i know for a fact he referenced it in the midst of all of this. if dumbass trump didn’t put that out there and say it’s “okay” to do and not a big deal and just what he does, who knows if this guy would’ve done that at all or said that or some combo of that if he wasn’t influenced by him. maybe all he needed was the “okay” to act on his urges and trump and his comments gave him that so he was like well if the president says he does it and it’s no big deal, then i can do it and that’s how you treat women. so i think that’s why my subconscious was making my anxiety go into a tailspin and into overdrive. so that was an interesting connection that i made and it kinda just put that anxiety into focus and i felt a relief having a “reason” for it because this anxiety made my chest feel tighter than it ever has and like i could only do shallow breaths and even during yoga and meditation/hypnosis i couldn’t get my body to unclench. once biden was announced, i let out an audible sigh of relief and i felt a physical weight lift off my body and it felt so good. but then i realized that it wasn’t fully gone and there was still some left over and that was kind of a bummer but i’m going to focus on the good and that i’m not as “bad” as i was. so yeah, that was an emotional roller coaster ride that i’m not sure i’m fully off of yet but i’m happy it happened because it’s showing that i’m not just numbing my feelings and actually feeling them and not numbing bad feelings or events like this one and actually working through them, which is a huge step forward for me. 

okay i have more to say but it’s almost 8am and i need to start my day. i would say maybe i’ll be back later but we all know that’s not going to happen so see ya when i see ya.