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kwanisms · 5 years

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Jealousy - ick

anonymous said: can i ask for something smuty with changkyun where he’s your best friend or something like that, and doesnt admit hes jealous of you until he loses his mind? thank uuu love your work <3

⤑ genre: angst with a bit of smut, idol!Changkyun, best friend reader ⤑ pairing: idol!Changkyun x bff!Reader ⤑ warning: sexual content, foul language, slight daddy kink, choking, ⤑ summary: Changkyun is your best friend and you notice how distant he’s become since you befriended the rest of his members, especially his hyung, Kihyun. ⤑ word count: 5k

a/n: I hope this is okay, I wasn’t sure what you wanted Changkyun to be jealous about so I made up a reason. Thank you for requesting and I hope you like it! ~K♡

You pulled out your phone and felt a pang in your heart when you saw that Changkyun hadn’t opened your message. It had been two days since he last talked to you which was odd. Changkyun had been your best friend since you were kids.

When he became a trainee, the two of you lost contact but after he debuted with Monsta X, the two of you reconnected like you hadn’t spent a day apart.

It happened at a fan sign. You bought a ticket, luckily, and flew to Seoul to attend. You were halfway to the stage when you spotted Changkyun. He was smiling at and talking to a fan, signing their album while they told him a story.

After she finished, she moved on and Changkyun took the opportunity to look around, spotting you instantly and his eyes widened when he recognized you. The entire time you were working your way down the table, he threw glances at you until you finally reached him.

“Wow,” he breathed, dropping Korean for your language instead. “(Y/N),” he said smiling at you. “It’s been a long time,” he said, resting his chin in his palm and looking at you with a grin. “You look amazing,” he added looking down as you pushed your copy of their album at him.

He took it and started flipping through the pages of the photobook. Once he found what he was looking for, he started writing. “What have you been up to?” he asked.

You regaled him with the tale of your high school experience without him, navigating the halls you once roamed together until you graduated and went onto university. He listened with interest as you recounted the past few years without him.

He smiled up at you, capping his marker and taking care to close your album and put it back in its sleeve. “Let’s catch up, yeah?” he asked, giving you a wink and handing your album back to you. He took your hand in his and gave it a small squeeze.

“Make sure to look through the whole book,” he said nodding at the album. Before you could ask, you were ushered along to the next member while Changkyun turned his attention to his next fan.

After the fan meet ended and you returned to your hotel room, you pulled out the album and pulled out the photobook, flipping through it to find the members’ messages to you. It wasn’t until almost the end that something caught your eye. Changkyun had written a note at the very back of the book on a blank page.

“I have a new number, but my KKT is the same. Message me sometime,” it read. You hadn’t used the Korean texting app in years, losing it when you changed phones and never redownloading it.

You decided to give it a shot, downloading it and trying to sign in with your own credentials. It worked. You had all your old contacts back, including-- Changkyun.

You clicked on his user and pressed the freechat option. Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, not sure what to type. You settled for something simple. “Hey, what’s up?”

His reply came quickly.

Kyun [21:42]: hey (: not much. Just got back to the dorms. Wbu? You [21:43]: just chilling in my hotel room. I check out in a couple days. Kyun [21:44]: you don’t leave for another day? You [21:44]: nope Kyun [21:45]: i’m free tomorrow after morning practice. Want to meet up?

You froze. Should you? Wouldn’t he get in trouble?

You must have taken too long to reply because Changkyun sent another text.

Kyun [21:47]: you okay? You [21:48]: won;t you get in trouble for hanging out with me? Kyun [21:49]: probably, but who cares? (; You [21:50]: … okay (:

The next day, the two of you met up around lunch time, grabbing a bite to eat before exploring the city. You wore a black dust mask and baseball cap at the request of Changkyun. “To protect your privacy,” he told you. The two of you spend a whole day out together, enjoying the mild weather.

You parted ways, promising to keep in touch until you moved to Seoul for work.

Months later, you made the move and Changkyun used bit of every free time he had to spend time with you. He called it making up for lost time. You were loving it. Everything was almost as if you never parted.

At first, Changkyun didn’t tell the members about you, wanting to keep it a secret for a while but eventually, they found out and started pressuring him for details. He couldn’t keep you a secret any longer. He told the guys about you and how he knew you.

To his surprise, they encouraged his friendship with you and even extended an invitation to you to come around and meet them and perhaps join them in a movie night, an offer you accepted the moment Changkyun told you about it.

So one Friday night, you got dressed in your comfiest clothes and made your way across town to their dorm. Changkyun met you downstairs and led you up to their dorm. Once inside, you were introduced to the rest of the members of Monsta X.

You had a great time hanging out with them and they enjoyed having you over so they continued to invite you over. Movie nights were a popular thing with your group. Changkyun always sat you between him and Kihyun whom you formed a very fast friendship with.

Little did you know how much your friendship with Kihyun would affect your relationship with Changkyun.

Before long, Kihyun started asking you to go out with him. You didn’t think much of it, since it was kind of the same when you went out with Changkyun. Just two friends hanging out.

After the first time was when you noticed Changkyun’s distantness. You asked him if he was okay and he confirmed he was. He asked you to spend a day out with him and you agreed, needing another day out after a rough week at work.

After going out with Changkyun, he seemed to return to his old self. Until you mentioned going out to get lunch and go shopping with Kihyun.

Changkyun refused to answer your texts and that was where you were at now. Dealing with him being unresponsive.

You were starting to worry so you did they only thing you could think of. You called Kihyun.

He answered on the fourth ring. “Hey, (Y/N),” he said in a cheerful voice. “Hey, Ki,” you replied. “Are you guys home?” you asked. “No, we’re out right now. Well,” he said. “Changkyun’s home.” he added. “He mentioned not wanting to go out,” he said.

You nodded to yourself. ‘He has to be ignoring me then.’

“I was thinking of popping by to see him. Is that okay?” you asked. “Of course!” Kihyun replied happily. “Try to cheer him up, if you can. He’s been acting like a kicked puppy for a couple days now.” You thanked Kihyun for giving you the code to get in and started getting ready to head over.

The commute over was long, giving you plenty of time to think about what you were going to say to Changkyun. Maybe figure out why he was being so distant.

When you reached the dorm, you made your way up, unlocking the door to get in. Once in the dorm, you looked around, noticing that there seemed to be no sign of Changkyun. You made your way back toward his room, the sounds of a computer game growing louder with each step.

You peered into the room through the cracked door and saw Changkyun sitting at his desk, playing some sort of online game. You pushed the door open quietly, watching him for a few minutes. He was cursing and muttering under his breath at his opponents.

It was kind of cute. You decided to get his attention and coughed, clearing your throat. Changkyun jumped, spinning around to look at you. The moment he looked away from his screen, his character died and he swore loudly, rounding on you angrily.

“How did you get in?” he asked, getting up from his seat and crossing the room to meet you at the door. “Kihyun gave me the code,” you said, letting out a yelp when Changkyun grabbed your arm and started to lead you down the hall and towards the door.

“Well, Kihyun isn’t here, so go home,” he snapped, shoving you toward the door, causing you to stumble. You stood up straight and rounded on him. “I didn’t come to see Kihyun. I asked him for the code so I could come see you,” you said, your eyes narrowed.

“But clearly I made a mistake coming here,” you added bending down to slip into your shoes. “(Y/N),” Changkyun started scratching the back of his neck. “Don’t worry,” you said, choking back sobs. “I’ll just go since you clearly don’t want me here,” you said reaching for the handle of the door and turning it.

You had only pulled the door opened a little before Changkyun pushed it shut. You turned to glare at him, finding only his soft expression instead. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. The two of you stared at one another before you sniffled. Changkyun pulled you into a hug, wrapping you in his warmth.

“You’re mean,” you murmured, your voice muffled by his shoulder. He shushed you, hugging you tightly. “I know,” he replied. “I suck. I’m sorry,” he repeated. The two of you parted and Changkyun led you back down the hall to his room, shutting the door behind you.

You turned to face him, watching as he sat down on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh. You moved to stand in front of him, reaching a hand up to ruffle his hair. “What’s wrong?” you asked. He looked up at you and instead of answering, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer, resting his head against your stomach just below your breast.

“I’m an asshole,” he said plainly. You smacked his shoulder lightly. “You’re not wrong, but don’t say that,” you said as you rubbed the spot you hit. The two of you said nothing until something hit you.

“Why did you think I was coming to see Kihyun?” you asked. He shrugged. ‘Nope. That’s not good enough.’ You took Changkyun’s face in between your hands and forced him to look up at you. “Answer me, Kyun. Why did you think I was coming to see Kihyun?” you asked again.

“Because you’re always spending time with him,” he murmured, not looking at you, instead looking off to the side. You narrowed your eyes at him. ‘Was he… jealous?’

“I spend time with you,” you countered and he shrugged. “Lately it feels like you’re all about Kihyun,” he said quietly. You poked his shoulder. “I can’t believe this,” you said and Changkyun looked up at you. “You’re jealous,” you said. The word struck a chord with Changkyun and he got defensive.

“No,” he said. “I’m not.” You smirked at him. “Oh my god, you totally are!” you said. Changkyun growled and grabbed you by the hips, pulling you down past him onto the mattress.

You let out a squeal as Changkyun tipped you backwards onto his bed. “Changkyun!” you said, propping yourself up on your elbows as your best friend hovered over you, his face dangerously close to yours. You gulped, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as your heart thudded erratically in your chest.

You had never been this close to him before and it was affecting you more than you’d like to admit.

“W-what are you doing?” you stammered, noticing the way Changkyun’s eyes dipped to your lips and then back up. Neither one of you moved nor said a word. ‘What is his deal?’ you wondered. ‘What is he thinking?’ you asked yourself.

Sometimes Changkyun was an enigma to you, doing and saying things to make you think one thing and then turning around and acting the opposite. It was confusing but you got used to it. You were experienced with his weird mannerisms. His cool facade.

What you weren’t used to was this man before you. The one with a stoic face but eyes that burned with the fires of jealousy. Changkyun had never been the type before to express jealousy before. He had never gotten mad at you for spending time with other guys. That just wasn’t him.

The man before you now was exactly that. Someone driven to do things he wouldn’t normally do because he got jealous over you spending more time with another man. What happened to him?

The feeling of Changkyun’s breath fanning over your face brought you out of your own thoughts, reminding you of the situation you were in. You watched as his eyes dipped to your lips again and back up to meet your eyes, flashing a split second warning before he acted.

He closed the distance between you, pressing his lips against yours and taking your ability to breathe away just like that. Your head swam with thoughts but your subconscious pushed those thoughts aside, allowing you to focus instead on what you were doing. You were being kissed by your best friend. So you did the only thing that made sense. You kissed him back.

Changkyun was shocked at himself for crossing the line he said he would never cross but he was even more surprised when he felt you soften under him, your lips moving against his gently as one of your hands moved to grab onto his bicep, squeezing slightly, urging him to continue.

Changkyun slowly laid his weight on you, forcing you down on your back, his hips resting between your thighs. The kiss slowly progressed as Changkyun parted your lips with his, allowing his tongue to slip into your mouth and start exploring as your free hand moved to comb through his hair.

Feeling your nails against his scalp, Changkyun let out a soft moan, muffled against your lips. You tugged slightly, signaling him to pull back a little. The two of you didn’t move, instead stared at each other intensely as you both struggled to catch your breath.

“How long?” you finally asked. Changkyun took a couple of short breaths before responding. “Years,” he answered. You took his face in between your hands. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you asked, studying his face. Changkyun shrugged. That answer wasn’t good enough for you.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you asked again. Changkyun sighed. “Because I would rather have part of you than none of you at all,” he answered. It was sweet in a self sacrifice sort of way.

You smiled, running your fingers through his hair, pulling him back down for another kiss. “You can have all of me,” you murmured before kissing him again. Changkyun pulled away, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Do you mean that?” he asked sitting back up. You sat up to meet him. After studying his face you nodded. “Yes,” you said. “I mean that.”

Changkyun reached out, taking one of your hands in his. “Like, right now?” he asked and you cocked your head to the side watching as his eyes trailed down to look at his lap and back up. Glancing down you could see what he meant. You could see his growing erection through his sweats.

A sly grin pulled over your lips as you looked back up, meeting his gaze. You nodded your consent before grabbing the front of his hoodie and pulling him toward you, locking him in yet another kiss. Changkyun wasted no time in taking control, pushing you back on the bed, his lips still on yours.

He broke the kiss momentarily to remove his hoodie, revealing his white tee shirt. His lips attached to your neck, kissing along the sensitive skin under your jaw while his hands were free to wander, feeling their way down your sides to your hips and down the outsides of your thighs.

His hands gripped the underside of your thighs, pulling your hips closer against his as he pressed his hard on against your core, earning a gasp from you. You felt him nip at the skin on the side of your neck, running his tongue over the same spot before biting down a little hard, allowing a moan to escape your lips.

Changkyun, incited by your sounds of pleasure, grinded against you again, letting out a satisfactory moan at the friction. You could feel your arousal starting to pool in your panties and if he kept doing what he was doing, you would be soaking in minutes.

Despite never being intimate with him, Changkyun seemed to know your body better than you thought. Or perhaps he was just a quick learner. Whatever the case was, it was clear he knew what he was doing. Changkyun bucked his hips again, pressing his hard member against you and this time, you moaned out his name.

He pulled his head back to look at you, his pupils dilated as he looked into your eyes. “(Y/N)?” he whispered. Your hand moved to the back of his neck, preventing him from pulling away. “I need you,” you said breathlessly. Changkyun couldn’t believe this was happening.

He had fantasized about this for a few weeks now. Ever since he’d realized his feelings and desire for you were real, he’d wanted this exact moment to come but now that it was here, he didn’t know what to do. He froze, staring at you with wide eyes. ‘Shit.’

You sat up, taking his hand. “Changkyun?” you asked. At the sound of your voice, he seemed to come back to reality. His eyes met yours. “Are you okay?” you asked. He nodded vigorously. ‘A lie. He was terrified.’ “Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine.”

You could tell he was not fine. You could hear it in his voice. Instead of pressing him further, you scooted closer to him, almost straddling him. “Do you want to stop?” you asked softly, watching as he considered it. After a moment, he shook his head. “No,” he breathed.

He pulled you in for another kiss, his hands moving to your hips, guiding them against his own. You moaned, breaking the kiss to throw your head back while Changkyun’s lips kissed down your neck. “Lie back,” he said softly and you did, lowering yourself back onto the mattress. Changkyun grabbed the sides of your shorts and slowly pulled them down, pulling your panties with them.

He maintained eye contact as he discarded your shorts, tossing them to the side. His hands rested calmly on your knees before pushing them apart gently, eyes trailing down your body until he stopped at the place where you thighs met. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Your cheeks burned as he looked at you and you wanted to move; close your legs, cover yourself, something. Changkyun brought one hand down to trace your lips coated in your arousal and you shuddered at the contact, your eyes fluttering shut as he slipped a finger past your folds to find your clit.

He watched your face as he slowly massaged in circles, enjoying the way your hips twitched and you bucked involuntarily. It wasn’t long before he had you trembling, slowly building up your orgasm. He smiled as you tossed your head side to side, whimpers and moans leaving your mouth.

“Does that feel good?” he asked in a low tone, amusement laced in his voice. ‘Was he mocking you?’

You nodded, biting into the plush skin of your bottom lip. “Mhm,” you moaned, your hips slowly rising and falling to match his ministrations. Changkyun watched in awe as you started to ride his hand, your breath coming in shallowly, uttering soft whines occasionally. He couldn’t have you coming undone so easily.

He slid his finger into your entrance, enjoying the warmth that enveloped the digit. He could only imagine how amazing you would feel around his cock. The thought of sinking his hardened length inside you had him twitching in his sweatpants. He pushed those thoughts aside for later.

Right now, he was focused on your pleasure and making you feel good. Changkyun added a second finger, slowly pumping them in and out of you. One of your hands traveled from above your head down to cup your own breast and Changkyun’s mind filled with ideas.

He slowed his hand, causing you to look up at him. “Don’t stop,” you moaned. Changkyun chuckled, enjoying the amount of control he had over you. ‘Did he ever feel like this?’ he wondered but pushed that from his mind. Even if he did, it didn’t matter. You wanted Changkyun now, not Kihyun.

“Take your shirt off,” Changkyun said, nodding at the offending article. You obliged, taking it off you easily and tossing it aside. Changkyun had to stop and appreciate the sight before him now. You lying on your back, legs spread for him in nothing but a black lace bra. You were stunning.

Changkyun resumed his earlier speed, his fingers moving in and out of you quickly, stopping inside to curl against a spot that seemed to draw out the deepest moans he’d heard yet come from you.

“Fuck,” he swore, enjoying the way you sounded, knowing it was all because of him. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, watching the rise and fall of your chest from your labored breathing as he coaxed a climax out of you.

“Please, Changkyun,” you whimpered. “I need you.”

Changkyun smiled, moving to lie on the bed, his head between your thighs. “Soon, baby, okay?” he said softly. “I promise,” he added. You opened your mouth to respond but any words were taken and replaced with a moan when you felt the tip of his tongue against your clit.

He flattened his tongue, running it up and down, over your clit repeatedly before kissing it, sucking softly. You let out a cry, your walls clenching around his fingers. He tried not to smirk as he continued, flicking his tongue against the sensitive bundle of nerves while simultaneously pumping his fingers in and out of you, coated in your juices.

You couldn’t bear it anymore. Your body shook from the build up, unshed tears in the outer corners of your eyes. You just wanted to come already. You voiced your wants to Changkyun who merely chuckled.

“You want to come that bad, baby?” he asked, watching as you nodded frantically. He curled his fingers inside you again, rubbing against the rigid spot inside your walls that had your body trembling. “Do you want to come on my fingers or tongue?” he asked. Now he was getting cocky.

You shook your head quickly. “I don’t care, just please let me come!” you whined. Changkyun chuckled again. “Okay,” he said. He didn’t speak again, instead putting his mouth to better use as he brought you to the brink of orgasm with both his mouth and fingers.

Your body reacted to the overload of sensations by shuddering before you whimpered that you were about to come. Changkyun pulled back momentarily to encourage you. “Do it,” he whispered. “Come for me.” He curled his fingers inside you, his tongue working wonders on your swollen clit, pushing you over the edge and you came with a cry of his name, your body shivering as he helped you ride out your high.

After a few moments, you felt Changkyun pull his fingers out, leaving you empty. He was only gone for a few moments before you felt the bed dip. He settled between your legs, moving them to make space. You felt the tip of his cock graze your entrance and you tried to sit up. “Wait,” you said and he paused, looking up at you with concern. “What is it? Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I should return the favor,” you said only to be met with a chuckle. “Maybe some other time,” he said. “I’d rather just be inside you right now,” he said, rubbing the tip of his dick against your slick folds. “Let me know if I hurt you,” he said, giving you a serious look. You nodded to show you understood. Changkyun slowly pushed past your lips, gliding into your wet pussy rather easily.

Or so you thought.

Once the head of his dick was inside you, he started to push further, a slight sting greeting your senses and you hissed. Changkyun stopped immediately, searching your face. “(Y/N)?” he asked. You nodded. “I’m okay,” you reassured him. “Please keep going,” you added.

Changkyun nodded and returned his attention to his length, slowly disappearing inside you. Little by little he slid in until he was fully buried inside. The throb of his member inside you made up for the feeling of emptiness earlier. Changkyun waited as your body adjust to him, feeling your walls contract around him occasionally. Finally you gave him the go ahead to move.

He held your hips in place as he slowly slid out of you until just the tip was inside before slowly pushing back in, drawing out his thrusts in an agonizing pace. “Stop teasing me,” you said after a few moments of this, causing Changkyun to laugh softly.

His grip tightened as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you at a faster speed. You moaned at the feeling of being filled, the earlier sting now replaced with a dull ache. You couldn’t be happier.

Changkyun, on the other hand was elated. He reveled in the feeling of your warm walls tightening around him as he thrust into you, a soft moan, falling past his lips as his eyes fluttered shut. It was undeniably the best feeling he’d ever experienced and being that it was you made it all the more special for him.

Your moans grew in pitch as he continued thrusting into you, the head of his cock hitting at rigid spot he’d felt earlier while fingering you. It seemed like that was your sweet spot and now that he found it, Changkyun was taking full advantage of it. He aimed for it, slamming into you harder, faster, and deeper in an effort to hit that spot, repeatedly. He wanted you to scream his name.

He wanted the whole building to know that he was the one fucking you so good. Not him.

Feeling his own orgasm drawing nearer, he focused on making you come again, his hand slid up your stomach, ghosting over your breast until it reached your neck. He softly wrapped his fingers around your throat, enjoying the way you clenched around him.

He remembered what he’d read about choking, taking care not to press against the front of your throat, only squeezing the sides, restricting the blood flow to your brain. You were still able to breathe but you head started to swim from the lack of blood to your brain, You let out a deep moan, your walls clenching around Changkyun tightly as he thrust into you, deeper than you thought possible.

He loosened his grip, allowing blood to flow once more.That didn’t stop his hips from snapping against yours though. Your entire body was hot, as if you had a fever but you knew you didn’t. You were close now. “I’m close,” you whispered. Changkyun moved his hand from your throat, sliding down your body until he pressed his thumb against your clit, massaging in time with his thrusts.

“Are you going to be a good girl,” he started, watching your face as your body started to shake, particularly your legs. “And come for me?” he added. You nodded, whimpering out a “yes.” Changkyun took this opportunity to push you just a bit further. “Yes, what?” he asked in a husky voice, his own orgasm within his reach.

You looked up at him, your face flushed, looking fucked out. You were a sight to behold. “Yes, daddy,” you breathed and that was all Changkyun needed to send you over the edge. Your second orgasm hit you like a wave, washing over you as you came on his dick with a cry of his name. Changkyun helped you ride out your high by chasing his own. He pounded into you, holding your hips against the mattress.

Not long after your second orgasm, you had your third as Changkyun was going for his. You came a third time with a whimper, begging him to stop. “It’s too much,” you panted, your body shuddering from the sensitivity of being overstimulated.

“I’m almost there,” Changkyun whispered in your ear.

He made good on his promise, and after a few more thrusts, he came with a groan, releasing into the condom he’d put on earlier. After a few shallow thrusts, he stilled, buried inside you as he panted to catch his breath.

After a few more minutes, he pulled out of you and rolled onto his back beside you, removing the condom and tying it off to toss in the trash can.

The two of you lay in silence for a few moments before he spoke. “That was incredible,” he said and you giggled, a blush forming on your face. You looked over to find him staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” you agreed. “It was.”

Changkyun turned his head to look at you. “I guess this means that you and Kihyun are--” he started.

“We were never a thing, Kyun. Honestly. We flirted a little but that was the extent of it. We never even kissed or held hands. He’s literally just a friend,” you said sitting up and looking at your best friend.

“I never wanted him, Kyun,” you added. “I wanted you. From the beginning, I always wanted you.”

Changkyun sat up, studying you with excited eyes. “I guess you can have me,” he said with a lopsided grin.

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synoxshots · 4 years

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Tagged by @sentinelapologist to answer some video game questions and rest assured I am about to give some very embarassing answers! (I wish I was kidding)

GAMES:

First game you ever played: This is gonna date me! Right so. I can’t remember it well but Fifa 98 definitely had an indoor stadium so I must have played that, because it wasn’t on Fifa 99 which I have much clearer memories of playing. But that would have come out when I was like, 3/4 years old so I’m not sure if I actually played it so much as went OOH! at whatever my brother/cousin (because we would have been at my aunt’s to actually have computer games) were doing. Or if we were behind the curve with getting it (also very likely). Definitely played Fifa 99 on my cousin’s computer for many years, also Lego Racers (which heh, I redownloaded earlier in the year as well for the nostalgia kick - no lies it holds up!). I have a lot of nostalgia for late 90s/early 00s video game graphics because of this, and tbh Fifa games probably peaked with 99.

Favourite game: Honestly I’m so invested in SWTOR so it’s hard not to say that, it’s had the biggest impact on my life like. Open world + Star Wars? the dream. I’m more of a SW fan than a gamer so it was definitely the universe that drew me into it in the first place. Also BOTW because oh my god. And I only got into that once lockdown hit this year but honestly, I cannot say how much I adore it.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Super super into the Lego games, so Lego Star Wars - to the point we had it on the Xbox, and then I’ve downloaded it on Steam and played through it multiple times on the pc. And I’m a completionist, so that’s like, collecting everything not just going through the story once. Fun story, the prequel games were released before RotS came out so I got the basic outline of the film from that game first oops. Also I’ve played through the Crash Bandicoot GBA games quite a bit too.

Game you hated at first but now you love: Don’t think I have one? Because yeah if I’m hating it right off I’m not gonna stick with it. Which is probs why I’m really fussy about buying games and replay so much stuff instead. I have my comfort zone okay

Game you used to love but now you hate: I spent a lot of hours playing Runescape in my life, and every now and then nostalgia tells me ‘hey log in!’ and within two minutes I realise it is the grindiest game ever. I still have my account from when I was like, 11, though, which is a substantial chunk of my life. Also League of Legends - I joined it because a few friends roped me in and it was great when we could play together but going it alone was pretty brutal because fuck up a tiny bit and boom, toxicity. So then I just played ARAM mode and not SR with others, then just stopped altogether. May be partly why group-finder scares me so much, though also y’know social anxiety in general. But let’s not get into that.

Your favourite game atmosphere/setting(s): BOTW for sure, I can just lose myself in that world forever. The music is fab as well and I’ve been trying to learn a bit of it on guitar, music adds a lot to a game/film/anything for me so yeah. But it’s also visually just so beautiful. There’s a lot of planets in SWTOR as well, Tython, Voss, etc.

Game with the best group/companion(s): I don’t really play a great deal of games where I have companions really so gotta say SWTOR! Smuggler gang is my favourite. Just all out nonsense.

A game with your favourite ending: literally drawing a blank here. I think a lot of things I’ve played have been the type to go on and on.

A game with the worst ending: as above. maybe I just don’t finish things? That said the final boss fight in I think the second of the Crash trilogy games was super disappointing and didn’t match how insanely hard I found that game. (And I’m talking as an adult hahaha, I got the Switch ones this year). also kinda with you on the end of the agent storyline too, I left that one til last because the internet raved about how good it was but in the end I was...underwhelmed.

Best character customisation: struggling to actually think of games I’ve played with character customisation as opposed to ones where I’m just given a character/choose from a selection. and it’ll be a real sad indicator if I say SWTOR because I am constantly complaining about the creator. though I do like outfit designer. hmm, pass.

HERO AND COMPANIONS:

Your favourite playable character: does it count if they’re my own? haha. in SWTOR I’d generally say a smuggler because I seem to come up with 5000 different ideas for OCs and playing as a gunslinger is super fun (and I’ve learnt to love scoundrel too!). And then in the Lego games I’d play as Shaak Ti a lot, but that was first because she looked cool though I do think she’s neat generally! But she probably doesn’t count as a video game character. Ooooh Link as well, because I’m getting more and more into Zelda games.

Your favourite companion(s): *cough* Theron. Kira. T7. Risha. Guss. Blizz. Gault. Torian. Felix. Nadia. Vette. Talos. Ugh, loads tbh, I’ll forget them all. *gesticulates generally at SWTOR*

RELATIONSHIPS:

Favourite game friendships: I live for the smuggler crew dynamic, and the BH crew as well. And the Jedi Knight/Kira friendship warms my soul.

Favourite game relationships: obv I’m super biased but Theron/Knight. Smuggler/Risha. Consular/Felix. BH/Torian. I’ll just list my otps here shall I? SWTOR is the only game I’ve done where there’s been relationships I think. still haven’t finished KOTOR.

Favourite companion banter: smuggler crew probably again. Smuggler just never stops. not sure about between companions though there’s a bit of it with the smug as well.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: I knew going into the Docmance how many people hated it but I really enjoyed it! Suited how my Knight was at that point.

A character you wish you could romance: Elara with f!Trooper, hoping that becomes more of a thing going forward. Also I wanna kiss Tau. And Anri. Basically I see a cool woman come along and I’m just like...is this a love interest?

FUN:

Shoutout to a random NPC: hey Numen Brock! And Lemda Avesta as the first wlw I got to kiss in game!

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: I don’t really watch playthroughs a great deal so I got nothing here! and when I watch playthroughs they’re normally of games I already know well because I wanna experience them first for myself? So I like watching BOTW challenge/speedrun/trickshot videos and stuff sometimes, and ACNH island tours but that’s because I know the games.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: as above really, but if I don’t have the intention to play them then I’m almost certainly not watching vids of.

Why do you play video games?: uhhhh. because I enjoy them, but also escapism I guess? like it’s easier to throw myself into another world and focus and fixate on that rather than dealing with the general...stuff. it’s a type of relief sometimes innit.

anyway if you’ve made it this far down in reading this then consider yourself tagged, because this was a long’un!

#about ro

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aharris00britney · 6 years

Photo

ASKS 10

‘less weird hairs,’ pics of me, real life questions, seasons thoughts, kpop stuff, ‘are you a boy’ erhdfnv, tutorial questions, edits, ‘safe’ cc, and umm yeah never go camping in the actual woods ok

Anonymous said: Can you do Less weird hair? I Like how good Mesh You make but all styles look Really Weird I never Would use them. I just want Usual hair? Thanks you

Firstly, thank you for the meshing compliment, but tbh I think I make pretty simple hair styles? Like I don’t do many crazy things especially recently? Idk, I hope you like some of my hairs and can find something that fits in your liking :/

Anonymous said: Hi I really love you content and I was wondering if you’d ever do a “goddess locs” hairstyle?

Ok I am gonna be super straight forward about this, making hairstyles like this is really challenging for me. I have tried a ton of times and I just can’t get the meshes to work out the way I like. UV mapping is a pain in the ass, making the hairline match well, and making sure none of the mesh strands are broken is next to impossible for me. Most creators that make hairstyles like this do them from scratch or spend a long time working on them for them to look right. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I am going to try to play around with some seasons meshes (I have hair ideas) but no promises :(

Anonymous said: BLACKPINK COMEBACK

i know omg jennie snapped, I wasn’t planning on buying the physical album but I ended up caving in and getting the pink versions ;-; I hope I get Jennie or Lisa photocards

Anonymous said: i know your theme is by gukthemes, but what is it called?

PAPILLON by GUKTHEMES

Anonymous said: Are you ever gonna do a face reveal?

I have posted a pic of myself before in one of these ask posts, here are three more from the past few months :P

Anonymous said: Fav kpop group(s)???

1). LOONA (bias Kim Lip) 2). BLACKPINK (bias Jennie) 3). RED VELVET (bias Joy) 4). CLC (bias Yeeun) 5). DREAMCATCHER (idk their names but the rapper)

Anonymous said: You play pokemon go still?

Yes! I collected cards/figures growing up and watched the show before school every morning. I’m not a ‘game’ fan but the mobile app is fun. Actually I played the Wii U Pokemon tournament game but it was boring so :/

Anonymous said: are you going to buy seasons? do you think it is worth it?

I got it from CDkeys for $25 lmao, so yes :P I can’t run the live mode so I kind of am just getting it for the new CAS assets :/ but I think the pack looks really good. Everyone always says ‘it looks like the best EP so far’ every time something new comes out so I’m not gonna say that but we will see :D

Anonymous said: whats ur skin blend called?

Fruitpunch! You can get it here

Anonymous said: when are you going to be done camping?

I am back home now lmao I assume you sent this when I posted about not having service there :P but I was camping for 3 days? I know it was 2 nights at least refdbv also omg some camping stories:

► I didn’t have my voice for the entire trip bc I got sick with laryngitis, and now koby (the guy i shared a tent with) has it too erfdbvc

► It was blazing hot like omg I was dying, there werent showers, bathrooms, anything with AC. The tents were boiling hot, the ground fucking hurt, and it was just hell ok this isnt even a story I just need to complain.

► There was a racoon family outside the tents the first night, and we thought it was a bear bc we were literally in the middle of the woods, like it wasn’t a campsite with other people, it was the forest ;-; anyways we were legit so freaked out and up for 2 hours just listening to them walk around the tents and god it was so scary rfbdv

► As I said, I had no service so I missed the larvitar community day in pokemon go -_-

► I suck at cornhole so I was the cheer leader for a team UwU

► A deer jumped out right in front of the fucking car like RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT omg we were so close to hitting it like... it was fucking scary

► We went walking on a trail that was down a mountain and once we got down we discovered that the chairlift up was CLOSED so we had to walk back up and it was a nightmare bc we had all just drove like 30 minutes to shower in crappy no pressure no heat showers and we were all sweaty again by the time we got back to the top ;-;

dont go camping

Anonymous said: Your last edit creeps me out.

LMAO why? It isnt meant to be sexual or scary?

@achinghearts88 said: I really love Sims 4 cc but I constantly struggle with finding safe sites and have accidentally downloaded a virus trying to get cc before so I'm kinda frightened now. What advice do you have for getting safe cc? Thanks!

Hello! I use an adfly skipper + adblock, and if both of those don’t work then I just don’t download the cc. For some creators (nolan-sims, simduction, isjao, ivo-sims, and others) I will turn them off because I know these creators aren’t ones that use the sketchy adfly stuff, but for others that I don’t know well I leave it on. I use: U Block origin and adfly skipper (both on firefox)

Anonymous said: I couldn't find a "contact me" thing but your AHarris00Britney has a broken mesh I think.

??? idk what this means im sorry ;-; what hair are you referring to?

Anonymous said: an amazing creator and a loona fan???? i stan

My mind... your mind... our mind..

@chocooosims said: hey, I love your cc, you are such a good creator! :) I'm not sure if someone already ask you that, but have you ever considered making a tutorial where you show us how you create maxis match hair? I mean, I know that I can already find on Internet tutorials about frankenmeshing hair. But the thing is that you are one of the only creator who do more than simply merge 2 EA's hair together. So, I would really love to see a tutorial of how you are creating your cc! :) Thx for your time!!

I am making a BIG tutorial right now of me making a hair from start-finish and it is around 3 hours not speed up. My guardian angel is going to edit it for me tonight and then I will try to have it posted next week sometime

Anonymous said: what university are you going to?

Radford :D it is in Virginia

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know you're a king

thank you lmao I wish it were true, stan loona or be beheaded

Anonymous said: r u a guy or girl or non binary etc. also are you lgbtq+ at all? not to judge, just wondering :)

uuh, I’m a gay guy lmao idk about all the other terms like cis/bianary ;-; i like the anatomy exclusive to the male body

edit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ?? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. Also, I was trying to be funny by sounding proper and using big terms like anatomy/exclusive instead of just saying “i like penis” bc that just isnt as fun to say imo. My anatomy teacher never used words like v*gina/p*nis and would say stuff like that, and I always found it funny and I guess that was another reason I worded it that way. Anyways if you think I was being transphobic, I apologize. I hope you don’t think that I am transphobic bc of that? If you want to message me and talk to me about how I can word stuff better then I am around 24/7 mostly, but I’m not going to fight with anyone who is just looking to argue because that is childish. I am sorry to those that got offended but I got one message about this so if something like this happens, message me like this person and ask what I meant so that it isn’t blown out of proportion. Again, I did not think that it would be taken that way and I am sorry if you felt that I was making fun of a trans person. <3

Anonymous said: What do you see in the corner of your room when you get sleep paralysis (;

James Charles with breasts on the beach and im not sharing this photo anymore it is demonic OK

Anonymous said: hi! i installed your non-default eye recolors but i'm having a glitch with them. my female sims lose their face in cas and it's just like an empty spot where the face should be. i have the default eyes installed too so i know it's not an issue with a missing mesh but i'm not sure how to fix it.

Hello!! I don’t think this is my eyes because I’m not experiencing this glitch? Did you run a S4S batch fix over everything? I think that causes this glitch sometimes but I am unsure. Try repairing your game and if you have the “no EA eyelash” mod then redownload that and replace the old file.

@sephirajo said: I found your sims 4 mods and I love the hairs! They're so amazing and pretty.

thank you so much!

Anonymous said: In your collab with wildpixel, I F**KING love the Ivy hair; do you have any recolours of it or any of the other hairs in the collab?

all the hairs in that pack are recolored in the anathema and sacharinne palette :) and I reblog all recolors of my cc over on @aharris00britneyrecolors

#asks

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olivia-the-jock-blog · 5 years

Text

Thank You - A Reflection

Below is a lengthy reflection of my time in the Pixelberry/HSS/HWU fandom, my gratitude to everyone I met, and an explanation as to why I disappeared for 4 years ahaha.

Hello. If any of you see this then you probably won't remember me, if you even know who I am at all, but I'm glad you're reading anyway. I created this blog almost 5 years ago now, on the 3rd of July 2014, when I was just 14 years old. I did so because a few months prior, I downloaded what I thought would just be a silly little game for my iPhone that I would play for a few weeks, grow bored of, and then promptly delete as I had done with so many other apps. After having explored its tags on social media and discovering it had a small community on Tumblr, I thought - "Hey, maybe I should make one of those blogs for myself, just for a laugh until I get bored." And so I did.

That game was called High School Story, a narrative-driven simulation aimed at teens, by Pixelberry Studios. I saw an ad on YouTube, and although my initial thoughts were that it seemed a little corny, I gave it a chance and downloaded it. And what came after could not have been further from my expectations.

I fell in love with it, in all its cheesy might. I began making goofy little posts, about my characters and the stories I had woven for them. I didn't care if anyone saw them, I was having fun, and that was all that mattered. I had found an outlet. I created Olivia - this blog's namesake, and over time she became a character that in many ways, I suppose I aspired to be like as a 14 year old girl. Strong, outgoing, sure of herself - always finding a way to solve her problems at the end of the day, as protagonists tend to do. But it wasn't just my own world I was engrossed in - I found myself swept up by the stories and worlds of others. Since this was such a close-knit community, the kind where everyone knew everyone, it wasn't long before this got me talking to other bloggers. We would talk, laugh, and share a common bond all over this silly little game. There were issues in the fandom, sure, like any. A lot of very bizarre drama that didn't always make sense, but we got through it for the most part. I had far more good memories than bad of the fandom, and so a few of us formed a group chat during that Summer. Soon, we started talking every day.

We shared a lot during that period. Laughs, tears, memes about our favourite characters or our frustrations over bugs and glitches. Goofy finger paintings and unflatteringly edited photos of one another. We shared personal things too. New jobs, new cars, new heartbreaks. We celebrated each other's achievements and grieved each other's losses. We came from all different countries and backgrounds, some of us slightly different ages, but none of that mattered. In some ways, we were a family. And for the first time, I felt like I had real friends. All over a silly little phone game, about a teenager who built a high school from the ground up and saves the day with the power of friendship.

This continued through the rest of 2014. I shared most things with my newfound friends. After all, I'd never had friends like these before. However, what I didn't tell them was some of the details of my home life. Towards the end of 2014, things took a turn for the worse. At the beginning of the new year, my mother - who had been unstable for a long time - went to prison. I, having no other family on this side of the Atlantic Ocean, was immediately placed in foster care, indefinitely. My entire life was turned upside down in one afternoon. But I found an escape in Pixelberry's games. I could play High School Story, knowing that it would always end with the protagonist saving the day, surrounded by supportive friends. Even if their world wasn't perfect, or it seemed a little unrealistic, they would find a way to triumph regardless of any hardships. It kept me going, smiling throughout the day even when I had to face a family I didn't know in a house that I didn't recognise, every day. I continued to be close with my fandom friends for a time. They got me through some especially tough days and I think I owe them some portion of my sanity for this.

But this didn't last forever. Towards mid 2015, everything started to die down. More and more people seemed to be losing interest in these silly little games, myself included. I had done almost every quest, unlocked almost every plot. I would see less and less posts on my social media from blogs once overwhelmed by a love of these games. New content continued to be released every so often, but it didn't quite strike the same chord with me that it once did. I felt like I was repeating myself. Other things in my life captured my interest, and the games got crowded out. I realised perhaps it wasn't the game changing - it was me.

I don't think I was the only one that felt this way. Eventually, the friends I had grown so close to over the past year began talking less and less. Some were finishing high school, some going to university, others were getting married or having children. Around this point, I was able to leave foster care and continue trying to live a normal life. Things started looking up for me. We were all growing in different directions, and suddenly fawning over characters in a phone game didn't seem so important anymore. We were growing up. And then one day, towards the end of that summer, all communication just stopped. I would go through the same social media tags, and find almost nothing new, or blogs that I had once adored had suddenly vanished. I would check our group chat, and find nothing.

We moved on, wordlessly, all in separate directions. I spent my time working towards good grades in school and trying to live a normal life, but I never forgot. I never forgot the people that helped me get to that point.

Enn, Kelsey, Avery, Cooper, KohKoh, Meikcam, and many more. These are the names that spring to mind, and I wish I could thank all of you to your faces, but I don't know what most of you looked like. I never even learned most of your real names. And you never knew mine. But that's okay, because I didn't need to know them for you to have the impact on me that you did. You were there for me through my loneliness, my anger. Through foster care, trauma, and a sexual identity crisis - which has now thankfully been resolved. You were there for me when I had no one, and that's all that matters. I also owe a lot of gratitude to Pixelberry Studios, the creators of High School Story and Hollywood U - the games that brought all of us together - even if it was only for a short time.

These games were flawed. Riddled with microtransactions and near-endless waiting times, as is typical of many mobile games - they did need to make a profit somehow - but that didn't matter to me. I was reeled in by theirs stories and characters, and above all the community. The friends that I had made along the way. They were the important parts.

I was 14 when I started this blog. 15 when I forgot about it. And next year, I'm hitting my twenties. Now, all of this begs the question - why am I writing any of this?

Recently, after seeing several ads for it, my curiosity got the better of me and I was compelled to download the Choices app - Pixelberry's third and most recent endeavour. I had lost interest in mobile games in general before it launched, so I never got into it, and missed a lot of the early press. It was through this, I learned that over the past year they had stopped supporting High School Story and Hollywood U. They were finished. They too, had moved on to bigger and brighter things.

Of course I was disappointed, as I had carried a love for these games - especially the former - and their characters through an important part of my adolescence. But it was when I saw they had also written several High School Story related books as sequels, and wrapped up story arcs for many of the characters I had come to love as a young girl, that I realised I was truly at the end of an era in my life. I was hit with an intense wave of nostalgia, and a sense that I had missed out on something.

So I redownloaded both games, just to play around with them, and maybe spark that same nostalgic feeling it had once given me. I had never actually finished either game, despite getting very far in High School Story. I had stopped playing long before both of their final updates, so maybe what I needed was a sense of closure. My old iPhone with my original save data broke last September, and then I switched to an Android, so I had to start fresh this time with a clean slate.

And I did not get that feeling.

It was bittersweet, starting fresh and seeing all the familiar faces and artwork, hearing the same chiming background music. Nothing about the games had actually changed, it was almost entirely how I remembered it. My perspective was what had really changed. There was no fandom to fawn over it with, no new content to look forward to. I'm past my high school years now, so I found myself struggling to connect with the characters in the same way I once did. Playing wasn't exciting anymore in the same way that it was at age 14. I had done most of it before. I realised I was still trying to live in the past.

Pixelberry's games are wonderful in their own right, but I think I've had my time with them, for the most part anyway. I'll probably continue to play around with my new saves for memory's sake until something else captures my attention again, but I can never relive those same feelings. I can replay the game but I can't replay the past, and that's okay. And as I look at their new releases, although they no longer appeal to me much, I wonder if someone else out there is 14 and feeling alone, lost and confused. I wonder if someone else will pick up one of those stories, play through that silly little phone game, and feel better. I wonder if they'll find a community in it, and make friends they never knew they could have. And maybe those friends will fade in and out of their lives, but they will have left their mark. And that is what gives me hope.

In September, I'll be fulfilling my childhood dream of going off to university and studying to become a programmer, where I hope one day to work in the games industry. There, it is my goal to build the games that people cherish and fall in love with, as I have done many times before. If I can be part of a team one day that makes just one person feel what I felt as a 14 year old girl, then I know I will have done my job right. To ease one person's loneliness or give them something to look forward to during tough circumstances. Something that has a hand in shaping them, however small. I only hope one day I can create something that gives someone else that same feeling of hope and community that Pixelberry gave to me as a young teen. That girl that once felt so lost is now happy and healthy and independent. She has found love and success and surrounded herself with it, but not without thanks to the roles these silly little phone games played in her life, and not without thanks to the friends she made along the way, however short their time together was. Because these people and these games taught her you can always find a way through your hardships, regardless of your circumstances - there is always a way.

Needless to say, I probably won't be updating this blog any further. This chapter of my life is, for the most part, closed. I will always look back on it fondly, but I don't feel like there is anything left to continue at this point. The fandom is almost non existent, and everyone I knew has understandably moved on. Even if it was still alive and kicking, it wouldn't feel the same. Too much time has passed, and I think we've all changed a great deal since 2014. What once was is not something I wish to dwell on too much, but I will always cherish the memories that I have of these games and their communities. However, I will leave this blog here as it is to serve as a relic for people to explore, or for when I feel like reminiscing about the past again. My cringey teenage self is forever immortalised here - or at least until Tumblr possibly collapses. Enjoy.

And if you ever see this, thank you. As silly as it might sound, once upon a time these mobile games and the people I met through them meant more to me than I have words to express. Their presence in my life, however short, has helped shape me from a lonely young girl with no friends or social skills, scared of the world around her, into the stronger, determined young woman that I am today. And for that, I will always be grateful.

Yours,

Olivia the Jock

#high school story #hss #hss game #hollywood u #hwu #olivia-the-jock #pixelberry #choices #play choices #choices the stories you play #enn the prep #pb #hss prime

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