#I was inspired by someone lovely who encouraged me to not do the usual
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you’ll always know me
part 1, part 2
pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader
summary: even as the crowds at his shows get bigger and bigger, eddie munson still has you, his very best friend. or, (for my swifties) eddie munson is your dorothea.
word count: 8.6k
warnings: fluff, a little angst, childhood best friends to lovers (sort of), weed and smoking, librarian!reader, first kiss, so many uses of the words “i miss you,” and some idiots in love !!!
a/n: hiiiii!!! this one took so long but i really love rockstar!eddie and i hope you do too!!! this is inspired by tis the damn season and especially dorothea by taylor swift <3 thank you to my love @inkluvs for encouraging me on this one ily!!!
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It’s surreal to watch someone close to you grow so much bigger than the town you live in.
To know that the person you see on the news, at award shows on your TV screen, is the same one who used to push you on the swings at the playground, who used to walk with you to and from school, who grew up beside you, closer than anyone else ever could have.
Closer than anyone ever would, still.
To most people, he’s Eddie Munson, lead singer and guitarist of Corroded Coffin. To you, he’s Eddie, the best friend you’ve ever had.
You can go back years and years, and Eddie’s woven into your life for so much of it. So is his music. You can pick out the points: watching Corroded Coffin play for the first time in middle school, watching their first gig at the Hideout, being in the front row for it all wearing the widest smile, having the loudest cheers.
Even the late night phone calls you’d get when he’d be stuck on lyrics, when he wanted someone’s opinion and chose to dial your number instead of his bandmates’.
(“Hello?”
“I can’t get this line to sound right.”
“Let’s hear it, Munson.”)
You’re often in disbelief of where he is now. Not because you ever doubted him, but because even after so long, it’s strange not to see him every day. You’re insanely proud of him, but that doesn’t mean you don’t miss him.
Because you do. You miss him so much.
A box sits on the top shelf of your closet, one filled with newspaper and magazine clippings, articles about the band’s success, positive reviews about their shows and their albums. Things to show that Eddie’s dream came true, and that’s a rare thing.
There’s only one kind of tabloid you choose not to keep: the ones booming with rumors you selfishly hope aren’t true.
‘Lead singer of Corroded Coffin has a new spark? Read more to find out who’s caught famous bad boy Eddie Munson’s eye.’
You see him constantly in pictures, through a screen, but you only really ever see him on holidays, when he’s able to come home. When he comes bursting back into your life in vibrant fireworks with his stupid, pretty smile and stupid, shining brown eyes. When he comes back only to leave all over again.
You only have yourself to blame, really, for letting it tear you up. Because more than anything, you’re happy for him, so happy you could never express it properly, but still, there’s an ache in you when he crosses your mind, when the feelings linger.
Life in Hawkins for you consists of working at the library, reading your days and thoughts away, hanging out with the gang when you’re up to it, and that’s about it.
Eddie always knows where to find you when he does come home, usually barging into the library with his arms open for a hug, one you rush into easily. You always spend the couple days he has in Hawkins together, being the you and him you’ve been since you were kids. But the lingering reminder doesn’t fade, the reminder of him having to leave looming over you like a storm cloud.
Eddie Munson comes home sporadically, unknowingly taking your heart with him wherever he goes. And when his inevitable departure takes place, you’re forced to regrow what’s missing from your chest. Every single time.
-
Besides his uncle Wayne, who could only ever see him as a troublemaking kid, you’re the only person who’s never treated Eddie any differently.
Not in high school when he was labeled a freak, not even when the fame rose so suddenly it felt like a tidal wave. You kept him afloat. You keep him afloat.
He knows he should call more often, he knows that even if the phone works both ways, you really don’t have a way of keeping track of which hotel he’s in, which state, which country, even. He knows that falls on him.
Your phone number’s burned into Eddie’s memory. He could never forget it, and still, he can’t seem to find the time to dial it. He’ll get called away, or he’ll just be getting back from a show and barely have the energy to shower before getting in bed. Worse, he’ll get the panicked sense that you won’t pick up anymore.
At least he’s never missed your birthday. That, he’ll always make time for, usually phoning you at the same time that a bouquet of flowers arrives at your door. And somehow, even when he’s away, you don’t miss his birthday, either.
Eddie’s sitting on the small couch in his dressing room, waiting to go on stage, thinking of you the way he often does.
He wonders if you think of him, too. If you miss him or if you’re angry that he’s gone so often, that he can barely even manage a fucking phone call. Though, you were never the type to be angry. Never with him, at least.
He wants to hear your voice, wants to hear you tell him ‘good luck’ before going on stage like you used to. He peeks at the table next to the couch. Eddie’s not sure how much time he has before he needs to go, but he figures it’s worth a try.
Just as he’s about to pick up the phone in his dressing room, there’s a knock on the door.
“Munson! You’re on in five!”
He’ll call you later, then.
-
“Beginning descent to the Indianapolis International Airport.”
The muffled sound through the airplane’s speakers is followed by the ding of the seatbelt signs being turned on. Eddie shifts in his seat to look out the window. He’s got his own little cubicle in first class, and though this is how he always flies now (other than when he finds himself on a private jet, which is even more unbelievable), he’s still not used to it.
He’s itching to get out of this seat, then he remembers that he’s still got the trek through the airport and the drive back to Hawkins. It’ll be worth it to see Wayne, who he doesn’t see nearly as often as he should, and get his classic hug with a slap on his shoulder.
It’ll be worth it to see you, who makes Hawkins feel more like home. You, who reminds him of the person he’s always been, the parts that get lost on the road. You, who hugs him tighter than anyone else ever has.
His hands clench into fits in his lap.
As soon as Eddie steps off the plane, his security team finds him. He’d assured them that he’d be fine, really, but this is how it is for him now. Through baggage claim and all the way to the car that’s waiting for him outside, security takes a step whenever he does.
Shutting the car door as he slides into the backseat, Eddie tips his head back and sighs.
The car ride feels shorter than usual, the city fading into trees and fields until the ‘Welcome to Hawkins’ sign comes into view. The gravel crunches under the car’s tires as it pulls into the trailer park. Wayne’s got enough to get a better place now, Eddie made sure of it, but he never did. He’d never admit it but Wayne’s sentimental, and the trailer houses too many memories to let go of it.
After all, it was home.
Stepping through the front door there’s the smell that he’d never noticed until he’d been gone for weeks at a time. The settled dust, the faint smoke of cigarettes, coffee, and the room spray Wayne inevitably uses to try and cover it all up.
Eddie drags his bags inside, waves to his driver, and shuts the door behind him.
Then, Wayne’s warm rasp, “my boy. Get in okay?”
He’s wrapped in his uncle’s classic hug quickly, the pats on his shoulder and all. Eddie closes his eyes and soaks it in, just for a second, “yeah. It was fine.”
“Good, good,” Wayne says, pulling back and grasping Eddie’s shoulders, getting a good look at him. “Take a shower.”
“Is that your way of telling me I look like shit?”
“Nah, that’s me telling you that you smell like airport, boy.”
“It’s great to see you, too,” Eddie says, smiling.
He and Wayne have the kind of relationship that time doesn’t really affect all that much. Whether Eddie’s away for a week or a month, or two, or three, they fall back into things like he’d never even left.
He knows Wayne’s probably lonely, probably hiding more than he could imagine, but he also knows that he loves him, and that’s always a good thing to know, to feel. Loved.
“Shut up, you know I missed you,” Wayne shakes Eddie’s shoulders and lets go, “now go wash up and you can tell me about your last show over some coffee, sound good?”
“Sounds good. I missed you too, Wayne.”
Eddie carries his bags into his room, leaving them open on the ground rather than unpacking. He’ll just have to pack them all over again, anyways.
Before long, the trailer’s small bathroom is filling with steam as Eddie steps into the shower, dropping his neck back and letting the water run over his shoulders, his back. He stands like that for a bit, simply letting the heat melt away at the tension in his muscles.
By the time he steps out, the mirror is completely fogged with steam, and Eddie wipes away at a section to look at himself. The bags under his eyes, the mess of his hair that he doesn’t bother taming, the small scratch on his chin from one of his rings. He shakes his head and heads into his room with his towel around his waist.
He throws on a pair of plaid pajama pants and a faded band tee, his hair soaking the back of it drop by drop.
In the kitchen, Wayne’s got two mugs of coffee sitting on the small table, a seat already pulled out for Eddie to take.
“Thanks.”
He nods, sipping from his mug as Eddie does the same.
In the silence, he can’t help but think of you, of how close he is to you now. Mere minutes away. He wonders what you’re doing, if you’re reading in bed after your shift, if you’d just showered like him, if you’re thinking of him, too.
“I saw her the other day,” Wayne says.
They both know he means you.
“How’s she doing?”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll ask her that when you see her tomorrow, but she seemed good.”
“How'd you know I’m gonna see her tomorrow?”
“Come on, kid. You go to the library the day after you get in every time and think I don’t notice?”
Eddie looks down at the mug in his hands, his face warm. It shouldn’t matter, shouldn’t have him feeling all shy and nervous, like he’d been caught, but it does.
“She misses you,” Wayne adds.
“She tell you that?”
“Doesn’t have to. I’ve known that girl since she was little and running after you on the playground. I can tell.”
Wayne has always said that you’re as good as family, after all. Eddie used to joke that his uncle liked you more than him, and you used to laugh and joke back that he was right.
Eddie’s suddenly very excited to sleep, only to get to tomorrow quicker.
“I miss her, too.”
“Yeah, kid. I know,” Wayne leaves it there, switching things over, “I saw you almost eat shit on TV the other day.”
“Come on!” Eddie groans. He’d tripped over a fucking wire on stage. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“It was still fuckin’ funny.”
“Of all the shows, you just had to tune in for that one.”
Wayne asks about the tour, about how Eddie’s liking it this time around, about whether or not there’s anything new he’s working on.
In return, Eddie asks about the mechanic’s, about whether or not Wayne’s back has been acting up (which earns him a light slap on the back of the head), about what’s changed in Hawkins since the last time he’d been home.
Even through the smiles he shares with his uncle, Eddie’s wondering how you’ll react when you see him tomorrow, picturing how it’ll feel to be near you again. He gets that feeling in his gut, the butterflies that are nerves and excitement and questions and feelings rolled into one.
He’s pretty sure he dreams about you, too.
-
Your shifts at the library are always long; full days of scanning and shelving books. You’re lucky to say that you actually like your job. The smell of worn pages, the peacefulness (save for when Dustin comes barging in with his stack of overdue books that you let him off the hook for every time), the interactions that are almost always short and sweet since it’s meant to be a quiet place.
Your eight or nine or however many hour days go by much quicker now than they did during your high school job at the grocery store, that’s for sure.
You’re pushing the put-back cart between shelves, humming a random song quietly as you place the books where they belong, sometimes pausing to straighten things out. It’s the middle of a weekday and you’re the only person in there anyway. That is, until the small bell on the front desk dings.
“Just a second!” You call, squeezing between the cart and the self beside it to walk over to the front desk. You think your heart stops altogether.
You’d recognize that head of hair anywhere, the dark, frizzy curls. Hell, you’d recognize that damn denim vest anywhere, even the stance of the person wearing it. “Eddie?”
He turns around at the sound of your voice, and something lifts from his chest when he sees you. A grin spreads wide on his face, splitting his cheeks and crinkling his eyes in the corners, “there she is.”
Usually, when he comes home, it’s on a holiday and you’re expecting him, watching the door and waiting for him to walk through it. This time, you had no idea he’d be coming home. It’s the best surprise you could get.
You’re practically running into his arms, and he wraps them around your waist easily, yours tossed around his shoulders. Your face is buried in his neck, breathing him in, making sure this is real. “What the hell are you doing here?”
His hands clutch at the fabric over your sides, his head twisting so he can place a kiss over your hair, “had a break from tour. Missed home.”
And sure, Eddie hadn’t really realized just how much he missed it until he came back, it’s crystal clear now, with you hugging him. He really, really missed home.
You want to say something stupid and emotional like it hasn’t felt as much like home until now, or I missed the sound of your voice and the smell of your shampoo, but that would probably reveal a little too much.
“Just home you missed or…” you tease, pulling back to look at his face, his brown eyes that sort of sparkle. Your hands stay on his shoulders, his on your waist.
“I missed Wayne, obviously,” Eddie replies, acting oblivious and smiling at the small furrow in your brow.
“Eddie!”
“Aw, come on.” He tugs you in for another hug, his cheek squished against the side of your head. “‘Course I missed you, trouble.”
Trouble. You never knew you could miss a single word so much.
Eddie started calling you ‘trouble’ when you were kids, sometime in middle school when you’d stolen a bunch of his mixtapes and only returned them weeks later, when he finally noticed. He’d snatched them out of your hands and muttered ‘you’re trouble’ and it just stuck.
“Thank you,” you say, laughing when Eddie pulls back frowning at you. “And I missed you, too. Duh.”
“Duh.” He mocks. He lets go of you fully but doesn’t go far, leaning an elbow against the desk, “you’re doing okay?”
“I’m good. Things don’t change all that much around here, you know that.”
“I’m not asking about around here, I’m asking ‘bout you.”
You tug at the hair tie on your wrist. “I’m fine, Eddie. Promise.”
He nods, and there’s a small lull in the conversation that pinches at your chest for some reason. The sort of silence that never used to be there when it came to you and Eddie, always filling it with conversation or letting it be comfortable. Now, there’s something like awkwardness stretching and it stings.
Because it shouldn’t be there, because he’s Eddie and you’re you and you’re best friends and that’s all there should be to it. But it isn’t. You’re the same people, but so much is different.
“You working late?” He asks.
“Until we close.”
“Care for some company?”
You tilt your head at him, “you really wanna hang around the library for the last four hours of my shift?”
“Sounds like fun to me. I’ll even push the cart for you, and you can tell me what I’ve missed while I was away.”
It’s funny that he thinks he’d ever have to convince you to spend time with him, when you’re practically pulling at any thread of him that you can, when you’re taking anything he has to give you. Two days, a week, a couple of phone calls.
It’s all better than not having him at all.
“Only if you tell me what I’ve missed, too. Like all the cool celebrities you’ve met.”
“Not as cool as you, trouble.” Eddie taps your nose, smiling at the way you scrunch it in response.
“Shut up and start pushing the cart, Munson.”
He stands straight and salutes, “yes ma’am.”
You’re still smiling when you shake your head, “idiot.”
Eddie really does spend the rest of the day with you, pushing the cart while you re-shelf books, sitting in the extra chair behind the counter while you file returns, ducking when someone else walks in.
He asks you about Robin and Steve, Dustin and Lucas, how the kids are finding school, whether Nancy’s been hired at a big paper yet. He asks you about your family, and most of all, about you.
He hangs onto every word you say. And not once do you say anything to make him feel bad for being away, if anything, you can’t stop telling him how proud you are, especially when he talks to you about what’s in the works.
“I always told you you’d make it, Munson.”
“Wouldn’t have done it without you, trouble.”
-
The next morning, you’re sitting across from him in the corner booth by the window at Benny’s for breakfast. The same way you did every Friday in high school, at the same table.
Whenever you wind up at Benny’s when Eddie’s away, you tend to avoid that booth. It’s pathetic. Like his absence is clearer than ever sitting there when he isn’t. When he’s not putting whipped cream on your nose or stealing food off your plate.
Now, it’s his presence that surrounds you, his smile and his laugh, his foot nudging yours under the table.
The menu is sticky under your fingertips where you hold it, faded from sunlight and discolored from coffee spills that stain the page. You don’t really need to be looking at it—after years of coming here, you’ve probably got the thing memorized—but you need the time to collect yourself. To remember that this is Eddie, and there’s nothing to be nervous about.
You need the time to stuff down that flutter in your gut and in your chest.
On the other side of the booth, Eddie takes your distraction as a chance to really look at you. The details he can’t seem to picture when he’s away like the flecks in your eyes or the exact shade of your lips.
He never realizes just how much he misses you until he’s home. Until he’s sitting across from you and listening to the sound of your voice clearly instead of through a crackling phone’s speaker, until he gets to see the way your eyes light up slightly when you laugh.
It sort of hits him all at once, and he’s thinking, God, I should call more often. I should visit more often.
After a couple of minutes, you look back at Eddie, “you know what you want?”
“I’ve been getting the same thing since high school, trouble. Don’t need the menu.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll go order,” you say, placing your menu back in the holder by the window.
When you start sliding your way out of the booth, Eddie places a hand over yours on the table, “I can get it.”
You look down at your hands, his skin on yours, like you’d expected to see something there. A spark, a burn scorching your skin in the best way.
“I know you can,” you say, smiling at him. “But it’s my treat, okay? I want to get it.”
Eddie always feels sort of guilty when he’s not buying, because he has more than enough money to take care of it, more than he knows what to do with. Sometimes (often), people expect him to pay, even. And just like you’d known how he was feeling, you shut it down with a flash of your smile.
You shift to squeeze his hand before getting up and heading over to the counter, leaning on your elbows as you wait your turn.
Still, Eddie’s looking at you, his hand in the same spot on the table.
He knows that, despite it not being a busy morning at Benny’s, people are looking at him, whispering the way they did even in school. Only now, they’re saying they can’t believe it, look at him now, instead of calling him a freak. And just like in school, having you around makes the talk bearable. Hell, it makes it disappear, if only for a little while.
When the waiter finally comes over to take your order, you send him a kind smile, rattling off yours and Eddie’s orders.
Eddie watches the entire interaction. He tells himself it’s because he doesn’t want to make eye contact with anyone else, that it’s because he’s just making sure you’re alright. It’s certainly not because of how pretty he thinks you look today, not because of how hard it is to keep his eyes off of you.
The waiter is a younger guy, probably around your age. Someone Eddie doesn’t know. He seems to tell you a joke because you laugh, bright and sunny, and Eddie suddenly wishes that Benny was the one taking orders.
Because he should be the one to make you laugh like that, to be on the receiving end of your grin and crinkled eyes. Because there’s this weight in his stomach that feels a little too much like jealousy. Because you’re his best friend and he fucking misses you.
Eddie looks down at his hands and twists his rings around and around until you come back, the old booth squeaking as you sit down.
“You okay?” You ask, always noticing his nervous habit of fiddling with his rings.
She’s my friend, he reminds himself. My best friend, that’s all.
“‘Course I am.”
“The guy at the counter, Dan, wanted me to tell you he’s a fan.”
He shakes his head, “I can't believe I have those. Especially in this town.”
“Excuse me? Your biggest fan is sitting right here, in this town, Munson.”
He probably thinks you’re joking with the way he chuckles, chest rumbling. But, you’re not. The shoebox full of clippings says enough, and you don’t think he’d ever let you live it down if he knew about it.
“She want an autograph?” He teases, the heaviness in his stomach melting away. Your biggest fan.
“In your chicken scratch? Yeah right.”
It’s not long before your food arrives, plates of waffles and fruit, sides of bacon and hashbrowns. Of course, you inevitably end up with whipped cream on your nose and food missing from your plate.
It’s your favorite kind of breakfast.
-
You’re sitting in the passenger seat of Eddie’s van—the same van he’s had since high school, that he refuses to replace—heading towards Steve’s place. It’s not unusual for either of you to be meeting up with the gang, but Eddie’s still nervous.
“Are you sure about this?” He asks you.
They don’t know he’s in town, and as sure as you are that they’ll be thrilled to see him, Eddie isn’t convinced. You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze lightly as he drives.
“Everyone’s gonna be so happy to see you. Don’t you trust me?”
“‘Course I do,” he says easily, without thinking, “just haven’t seen anyone in a while, you know?”
“We all miss you, Eddie. It’ll be fun!”
Logically, he knows nobody’s gonna kick him out, or treat him any differently, but it doesn’t stop him from getting nervous. You wanted to surprise everyone, and how could he say no to you? So, here he is, gripping the steering wheel too tight and worrying too much.
Pulling into the driveway, he nods, “here we go.”
You hop out of the van before he has it shut off, but he catches up quickly. He follows you to the side gate of the house, watches you unlatch it and stroll into the yard. The sound of voices mingling hits his ears as you walk around the house and find your group of friends sitting around in lounge chairs.
“Look who I brought,” You announce.
Your shout is followed by eyes flicking towards you, then Eddie who stands beside you. Then, a chorus of his name, plus Argyle’s “rockstar!”
“Hey guys,” he says, waving shyly.
It’s odd to feel this way around these people that he’s known for years. Robin and Steve who’ve rented him way too many movies for free, Nancy and Johnathan who are probably why he graduated high school, and Argyle who was always his most loyal customer.
All of these memories and he feels a little too much like a stranger. At least he’s got you, who feels like one of the only sure things in his life. No matter how long goes by, you’re there, and he hopes you always will be.
“You want a drink?” Steve asks, leaning to reach into the cooler beside him.
“I’ll take one, thanks,” you say, catching the can Steve throws to you.
“I’m driving,” Eddie says, jingling his keys.
“Eddie Munson being responsible,” Robin teases, “they grow up so fast.”
And just like that, he feels a little better. These are his friends, and even though he’s not around all of the time, and even though he may not be as close to everyone anymore, they’ll still be his friends.
You sit down on the empty lounge chair and pat the space beside you for Eddie, sending him a smile that says both ‘told you so,’ in your snark he can practically hear, and ‘everything’s okay,’ in your kind way.
He plops down beside you.
“How’s everything going?” Johnathan asks him.
Not wanting all of the attention on him, Eddie keeps his answer short, “busy, but it’s a ton of fun.”
“Everything you ever dreamed of?” Robin adds.
“You could definitely say that.”
Though, Eddie has this strange feeling that he’s missing something whenever he’s gone. It’ll go away, but somehow, it always finds him again, when he’s debating on calling or not, when he’s hit with a memory of you in the front row at the Hideout when he’s on stage.
He looks over at you and finds you smiling softly at him, eyes fond. He can’t believe he’s the one you’re looking at like that.
Eddie blinks and turns back to the group, “how about you guys? How’re the jobs?”
The chatter picks up and surrounds him, but Eddie can’t stop thinking about the way you were looking at him just then. He’s never had someone look at him like that, like there’s nothing but affection there.
It’s platonic, he tells himself. She’s my best friend.
You feel happier now than you have in a while. Things feel more complete when Eddie’s around. Things feel right. It’s all of your favorite people with no empty chair, it’s falling back into a friendship that’s existed for years.
When conversations split off into smaller ones, you lean your head on his shoulder, and the words sort of slip out of you, “it’s really nice to have you here.”
His heart beats louder, he leans his head on top of yours, “it’s nice to be home.”
And it is. Eddie loves touring, he loves playing his music, and he loves his job, but at the end of the day, he’ll always be this boy from Hawkins, and he’ll always be happy to be home, to be with you.
Catching the moment, Argyle—always sharing his thoughts—says, “sick, you guys are finally together.”
You and Eddie both sit up, like you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t, even when you’ve sat like that countless times before.
Everyone’s eyes seem to be on the both of you now, and you have a tiny panic inside. Have you really been that obvious with how you feel? Does Eddie know and he hasn’t said anything because he doesn’t want to hurt you?
You laugh awkwardly, “what?”
“Like, dating,” Argyle explains.
“Me and Eddie?”
He’d been frozen for a second there, surprised that Argyle thought that. Was he seeing something Eddie couldn’t? No, no way.
“Just friends, guys,” Eddie says. “Come on.”
You swallow, forcing out a word, “exactly.”
“They’ve always been like this,” Nancy says, which explains enough but also sort of nothing at all.
Just friends. It’s something you know, you remind yourself constantly. It’s all it’ll ever be, and still, hearing Eddie say it out loud has your stomach feeling heavy. Just friends, get over it.
Even as conversation picks up again, as you laugh with everyone, the two words play in your head over and over. Then, after saying your goodbyes, once you’re in the van with Eddie again, it fades, because if you can’t be in love with him, you can be his best friend, and you’d much rather have that than nothing at all.
Once he drops you off, Eddie thinks and thinks about what Argyle had said. He goes over memories, over how he feels around you, and it hits him like a huge punch to the gut.
He thinks he has feelings for you. Big, huge feelings.
-
It’s the same day, a different sky, the sun sunk behind the horizon to give way to a sky full of stars and a bright moon.
Eddie’s van is parked by Lover’s Lake, the back full of blankets where you both sit, the doors open to look at the sky and the way the moonlight reflects on the water.
There’s practically an indent in the ground in the spot he’s parked, the one that’s been your go-to for ages. From day picnics to nighttime smoke sessions, it’s another place on the list of the ones that are filled with memories of Eddie.
Beside you, he’s got a joint in hand, the flick of his lighter catching your ears over the crickets and the breeze. You watch him inhale, his chest expanding, the smoke slipping from his lips. You turn back to the water.
“Your turn,” he says, handing you the joint.
You grab it between your fingertips and bring it to your mouth, feeling the smoke trail down your throat, further, then you’re breathing it out, clearing your throat at the tickle.
“Out of practice?” Eddie teases at your small cough.
“My favorite weed dealer went out of business,” you say, nudging his shoulder with yours, “so, yeah.”
He takes the joint back from you, “you don’t smoke when I’m not around? You know Argyle’s gotta have some stock.”
“Oh, he definitely does. A little too exotic for my taste. Besides, he won’t give it to me for free.”
“Getting cheap, trouble?”
You shrug, shoulder to your cheek, and give him an innocent smile.
It feels easy, the joint being passed back and forth between sentences until it’s done and stubbed out, the flow of conversation, the comfort that’s there. It’s always been easy with him, even when it hurts a little.
Eddie’s got on his worn denim vest, still full of pins, and you tug at it, “think this thing has a permanent weed smell by now.”
“I think that’s just part of my natural scent,” he replies, playfully flipping his hair over his shoulder.
His curls graze your cheek—that’s how close you’re sitting, thighs touching—and you giggle. You’ve had so many nights just like this one with Eddie, and it feels like some kind of reward that you get to have them still, even when they’re far less regular now.
“Doesn’t this make you think of high school?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Eddie’s hand is on his knee, his pinky twitches, reaching for your leg, “hell, I’m even wearing the same clothes as in high school.”
“How does it feel like yesterday and also a lifetime ago?”
Eddie looks over at you, the warm glow of moonlight and stars on your skin, the way your sweater hangs off your shoulder, the shine in your eyes that’s part weed and part nostalgia.
“A lot’s changed since then,” he says. “I’m not a loser anymore.”
“You’re still my loser.”
How is it that even when you’re calling him a loser, the idea of being yours in any sense of the word is enough to have Eddie’s heart swell in his chest, a balloon floating up and up and he has to swallow to push it back down.
“Stop being cheesy,” he plays it off, ruffling your hair.
You shove his arm away, “I just miss you!”
Eddie looks at his arm, your hand still holding onto it, he follows your arm with his gaze until it lands on your face. He thinks you’re beautiful, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen and no groupie could change that.
“I miss you, too, trouble.”
Something shifts, the air growing thicker, a sort of understanding between the two of you. There’s something here, something that could be a disaster but could also be so, so good. Could be everything.
“No way you think about me when you’ve got crowds and fans and-“
“I think about you a lot, honey.”
Honey. He’s probably called you that before, but never like this. Never dripping sweet and sincere, never looking at you like he wants to do something you can’t even let yourself imagine in fear of being let down, of hoping too much.
Eddie’s hand shifts from his own leg to yours, thumb running back and forth, burning you even through the fabric of your pants.
“You do?”
“All the time. You’re my best friend.”
Right. Friend.
“You’re mine, too, Eddie.”
And suddenly you can feel his breath fan across your cheek, your lips. His face is close to yours and the hair that falls over his forehead tickles yours. Just a second ago he’d been saying the word ‘friend,’ and now it feels like he’s going to do something to contradict that.
Against all odds, he does.
Eddie couldn’t help himself. Maybe he’ll blame the weed, or maybe he won’t, but before he knows it he’s reaching up with the hand that isn’t on his leg to cup your cheek and tilt your head. And he’s kissing you.
He’s kissing you.
It’s so delicate, so much you’re afraid to even breathe, like it’ll break in an instant. Eddie’s fingers squeeze your leg, urge you to kiss him back and there’s no way that you wouldn’t. Not when his lips are actually on yours, not when he tastes like weed and mint gum and something perfect.
It could be seconds or minutes that you’re kissing, tilting your head even more to feel him, clutching his sleeve tightly. It never deepens, but it doesn’t have to, it says enough.
When you pull away, it’s not one or the other who does it, it’s natural, like it’s been rehearsed time and time again. Eddie leans his forehead against yours, his hand still on your cheek.
“Was that a bad idea?” He asks you, voice low and quiet.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” And you don’t, because there’s no way of knowing what’s gonna happen next, if things will be ruined, if this will fade away like it never happened, or, maybe, just maybe, if it’ll start something.
“Was it okay?”
“More than okay.”
You don’t talk about it that night, and you don’t want to just yet. You’re fine with enjoying the pink-tinted haze at least until tomorrow.
-
Eddie’s barely been gone for two days and you’re not sure what to do with yourself. After that night, neither of you brought it up, and as much as you wanted to, you couldn’t. You were scared. And anyway, it was probably just the weed for him.
You’d never kissed before. Sure, you’ve come close, faces inches apart when you’d share a bed, whispers away, but nothing ever happened. Until now.
Now, sitting on your bed, chin resting on your knees, you’re reeling from knowing what Eddie’s lips feel like and missing him all over again. Rebuilding that piece in your chest.
Somewhere else in the country, in the world, Eddie’s position isn’t so different from yours. He’s sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, forearms on his knees, head bent. He wants to call you, and he’s figuring out what he’ll say when he does.
He misses you every time he isn’t home, but it’s never felt like this. There’s never been this ache in his stomach that won’t go away because of it. Fuck, he misses you more than ever.
The last trip back to Hawkins was different than anything else, because he brought back these feelings with him and he keeps reaching up to press his fingertips to his lips, like the memory of your own lingers there.
Sure, he’s had silly, sticky thoughts like waking up with his arms around you after a nap and thinking he could wake up that way forever, but he’s always pushed them down. Now, it seems, he can’t, the images too buoyant to ignore, floating back up every time.
Sucking in a deep breath, he sits up and reaches for the phone, dialing your number that’s stored in his memory. His leg bounces as the phone rings.
You’re startled by the screech of your phone on your bedside table, head lifting to look at it shake on the receiver. You reach over and pick it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, trouble. It’s not a bad time, is it?”
Eddie. His voice crackling through the phone sends a spike down your spine. You clutch the phone a little tighter.
You’d expected Robin, or Nancy, even Steve. Because there’d been a time, earlier in Corroded Coffin’s career, when Eddie would call you at least three times a week, and then the calls grew less frequent until they sort of died out to holidays and birthdays.
So, maybe a couple of years ago, you’d have expected Eddie’s voice, but not today.
“Eddie, hi. Not at all.”
“I- um, I just wanted to call,” a small pause, he clears his throat, “how are you?”
“It’s only been two days, you know how I am.”
“I mean right now.”
You twist to lay on your side, legs curling in towards your chest. You smile to yourself like an idiot. “Right now, I’m good. It’s lame, I already miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
The reply comes easily to him. There’s no thought to it, because in the past 48 hours, he hasn’t been able to stop missing you for a second. The warmth of your hand in his, the sunshine sound of your laughter.
He’s not sure why everything’s so big now, his feelings amplified, only quieted now, by the sound of your voice.
“Did you have a show today?”
You have a way of asking that makes it sound like you really care, Eddie thinks. He loves his music and he knows you know that. It means the world to him to do what he does, confusing feelings or not.
“Not today. We spent the day on the bus. Show’s tomorrow.”
“Nervous or excited?”
It’s something that you used to ask him before every small show in Hawkins, and the memory has a grin spreading on Eddie’s face. “It’s always both. More excited, though.”
“You should be,” you say. “You guys are really great.”
“Yeah? Who’s your favorite band member?”
He’s fishing, and you tease him rather than bite, “hmmm. Gareth.”
“Fuckin’ trouble. You liar.”
“You asked!”
“You answered the question wrong, honey.”
There it is again. Honey. You’re sort of glad he can’t see you right now because you probably look way too happy, burying your face in your pillow for a second before replying.
“You know you’re my favorite, Munson.”
“Yeah I am,” he sounds far too proud. And then, he’s softer, “I’m not keeping you up, am I? Time zones fuck me up.”
“No, no.” Even if he was, you wouldn’t tell him. This is better than trying and failing to sleep the way you so often do. “It’s not that late. What time is it for you?”
“Not that late,” he says, even though the clock on the nightstand reads 1:14AM. “So, what’s happening in Hawkins right now?”
“Mmm, it’s getting warmer. My window’s open and the crickets are loud as fuck.” You twist the phone cord around your fingers, “it’s donation week at the library, so I’ve been shelving new books for a change.”
Eddie listens to every word you say, asks you questions like if you’d kept any books for yourself (you had, but swore you’d give them to the library when you were done) and hums between your sentences.
Somewhere along the way, he’d laid down while listening to you, eyes shut as he tried to picture what you might look like right at this second. If you’re in your pajamas or not, whether your hair would be a little messy, baby hairs a halo around your face.
Then his eyes grew heavier, your voice putting him at ease even with the sounds of his bandmates laughing from somewhere in the hotel.
“Eddie?” You ask after he’d been silent for a bit.
“Hm?” He hums sleepily.
“I lost you for a second there.”
If he wasn’t half asleep, he’d feel worse. “Sorry, getting sleepy.”
“You wanna hang up?”
“No, uh- keep talking to me? You have a nice voice.”
You smile, cheeks pinching with the size of it.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll keep talking.”
And you do, you keep talking and talking until you can hear the sound of Eddie’s tiny snores on the other side of the line. You’re smiling again at that.
Even after you’re sure he’s asleep, you don’t hang up right away, not until your own eyes are growing heavy. You put the phone back quietly, like you’ll wake him if you’re not careful. You whisper a soft ‘goodnight, Eddie,’ as you do.
There’s a small stiffness in your fingers from how tightly you’d been holding the phone, and still, you’d let your hand cramp for hours to talk to him.
The next morning, Eddie wakes up with the pattern of the phone pressed to his cheek where he’d left it last night.
-
The TV sends flashes of color flickering across your living room and over your face. Usually, you’d be in bed by now, but it’s the night of the MTV awards and Corroded Coffin is nominated. You couldn’t miss it.
You’re not really paying attention to most of it, the sounds of performances and hosts and thank-you speeches filling your ears as you read your latest book. At least, you’re not paying attention until Eddie’s category is announced.
That has you shutting your book and sitting up, grabbing the remote to turn the volume higher.
They show the nominees, give far too long of an introduction before tearing open the envelope holding the winner’s names. You don’t know it, but you’re practically white knuckling the blanket on your lap.
“And the MTV award goes to… Corroded Coffin!”
You stand and place a hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating—racing—for the band, for Eddie. This is huge, it’s a dream, and it’s his. If you could, you’d give him a suffocating hug right now.
Eddie’s voice taking over, thanking his fans and Wayne, the boys and their team, then, thanking Hawkins and the people there, even when they gave him hell.
If you knew the right number to call to talk to him, you’d dial it in an instant.
Lucky for you, your phone rings the next night, late enough that you can only assume it’s Eddie given you don’t know anyone else who’s probably in a different time zone right now. You pick up quickly, fumbling with the phone a little before bringing it up to your ear.
“Eddie?”
“How’d you know it was me?”
“Ummm, my amazing intuition? Telepathy?”
“Telepathy, she says.” There’s a soft chuckle on his end, you close your eyes and lean your head back to thump against the wall behind you. “How’re things, trouble?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that, mister MTV winner.”
Eddie’s been calling more often again, whenever he gets the chance, really. Even so, he never thought you’d be keeping up with him that way, that you’d care enough to watch an award show and remember what he’d achieved.
“You were watching?” He asks, heart thudding.
“Of course I was. I’m your biggest fan, remember?” You’re sitting with your back against your headboard, knees bent, hand absentmindedly pulling at a loose thread in your pajama pants. “I’ve got cheerleader pom-poms and everything.”
“You do not.”
“Do too. They’re super metal, all black.”
“Yeah, cause pom-poms are super metal, babe.”
Another pet name in the rotation, uttered like it’s easy, natural. You bite back a smile.
“Whatever. Mine would be,” you say. “I’m glad you called.”
“Me, too.”
“I wanted to call you yesterday,” you admit, twisting that loose thread in your fingers, “after I saw you won. I’m really proud of you, Eddie.”
They’re words he hadn’t been expecting, but ones he’ll be thinking about over and over. He wants to keep making you proud, he thinks, and he’ll pour that into everything he does whether he means to or not.
“Thank you,” his voice is quieter, almost shy. “I wouldn’t be here without you, you know?”
“You would. You’re talented, and there’s no way that could stay hidden in this town, you’re bigger than it.”
Somehow, it’s easier to be so open with him on the phone. You don’t have to look at him, get distracted by his tongue running over his lips or the way his bangs get caught in his eyelashes sometimes. This way, all you have to do is speak, nothing more.
“Trouble-” he can’t even find the words to say, because there’s affection laced in your tone, seeping through the phone and into his head and, fuck, he wants to kiss you for it and he can’t. “I really miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” There’s some silence, and the overthinker in you worries that you’ve said too much even though you meant it with every part of you, that you’ve given yourself away. “Anyways, I should go, let you celebrate your win.”
It’s what he would be doing if Eddie’s thoughts hadn’t been so full of you and your mouth and your voice. It’s what his bandmates and friends are surely doing in some club around here.
“You don’t need to. I’m not doing anything.”
“No?” You try to lighten your tone, to joke the way you usually do, “don’t have groupies knocking on your hotel room door right now?”
Instead of playing along, Eddie’s voice is serious, still soft in the way he speaks to you, but serious nonetheless, “I don’t entertain them, honey.”
“You don’t?”
He’s tried. But ever since you kissed him, probably since before that, too, Eddie can’t seem to look at anyone else, let alone have someone else kiss him and tarnish the memory of your lips on his. He’s only ever thinking of you, it seems. So no, he hasn’t fooled around lately.
“Not in a while. I’m trying to write for the next album. No distractions.”
No distractions. He says it like that’s true, even though he can’t seem to fully focus, like there’s a piece he’s missing. Like every lyric he’s written since he’s been back isn’t somehow about you.
He’s so, so fucked.
“Look at you, Munson. Squeaky clean.”
You hope he can’t tell that you’re sort of a mess, a stupid blossom of hope planting itself where it shouldn’t. He’s your friend, he’s always been just your friend. But you kissed and it felt like something changed, and you can’t seem to let go of that.
“You sound surprised,” he teases, gathering his wits the best he can.
“Can you blame me? You used to have multiple lunchboxes reserved for your weed.”
“You loved those lunchboxes and you know it.”
“Yeah, I did.”
And then, like that moment was simply a blip, easily brushed over, your conversation turns back to your normal. Jokes with underlying affections, teasing while picturing what kind of smile the other wears when you laugh lightly into the phone.
Time runs away from you, and by the time you hang up it’s well into the early hours of the morning, but you can’t bring yourself to care.
-
After hanging up, Eddie’s got this sinking, aching pull in his stomach. He knows what it is, has had bouts of it before where he misses Wayne’s hand patting his back or the way his mattress is worn-in just the right amount back at the trailer, when he thinks about what his friends might be doing or what science project Dustin’s got going on.
But it’s never felt this heavy. Eddie’s the most homesick he’s ever been.
He’d listen to your voice forever, but in that moment, he’d give anything to see your face, to see the shake of your shoulders when you laugh, the curve of your smile.
What the hell is wrong with him?
Eddie wipes his palms on his thighs before standing and walking out into the living room of his band’s suite hotel room. The guys are still up, and they’re all staring at him like weirdos.
“What?” He pauses in the doorway.
“Did you tell her you’re in love with her yet, or what?” Jeff, the electric guitarist, asks him.
“What?” Eddie says again because there’s no way he heard that right. He’d only just come to terms that he had feelings. This is much bigger.
“You’re joking,” Gareth pipes in, “you don’t even know it? Dude, you’re all ‘I miss you, trouble, you’re my favorite person ever.’” He does a knowingly terrible impression of Eddie.
“I do not sound like that.”
“You kinda do,” Jeff says.
“Why else would you be spending hours in that room on the phone, man? Come on,” Gareth sing songs the next bit: “you’re in loooove.”
Then Eddie thinks and thinks and thinks. The warmth that blooms when he hugs you, the jealousy he felt when he thought that server at Benny’s was flirting with you, the difficulty to say goodbye, the way your kiss haunts him in his sleep.
These idiots aren’t usually right about things, but just this once, maybe they are. Eddie Munson is probably, very likely, definitely in love with you.
Yeah, he’s so fucked.
♫♩♪♬
thank you so so much for reading!!! if you enjoyed please please please consider reblogging and letting me know what you think! it helps and means so much <333 i have plans for a part two, and if you’d like to see it, some support would help a bunch! ily!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson imagines#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson blurbs#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson request#eddie munson requests#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x fem!reader#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie x reader#rockstar!eddie#eddie stranger things#stranger things eddie#stranger things imagine#stranger things fic#rockstar!eddie au
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if this was a movie
summary — your book trope w/ hsr men!
includes — dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, & jing yuan
tana's words — i watched project x and let me tell you I WANT THOMAS SO BAD. something about a skinny nerdy white guy will ALWAYS GET ME. and then it inspired me to write different tropes bc project x is very 2010s trope type shi
also check out my note at the end!
dan heng
⎯ you guys are: grumpy x sunshine
⎯ i feel like out of all grumpyxsunshine duos you and dan heng would be the most chaotic grumpyxsunshine because to some extent the both of you are equally as unhinged.
⎯ if you ever need someone to pull you back when you get too erratic? leave it to dan heng! if dan heng needs someone to make him not sound as assholeish? leave it to you! you two balance each other out in the most perfect way
⎯the two of you reminds me of that one tiktok sound where it's like
"that's just the way he sounds, he has an asshole voice. tell him he's okay."
"everything's great."
"dude."
⎯ you two are my FAVORITE kind of grumpyxsunshine couple because you two are both so chaotic??
⎯ your energy is just so bouncy?? like you can bounce all over the place and you're just so energetic and he's over here like meh...
needless to say, he does appreciate your energy. most of the time, he usually fuels it (he says something purposefully boring bc you always refute his his boring response). your entire being makes him smile (which is rare), and that's why you guys work out so well.
and to add to my point, dan heng is just as important to you as well. you have a lot of energy, which is a good thing, but sometimes it can lead to distraction/erratic behavior/etc. dan heng is always the person who tugs you back to earth. he's your rock in every situation: he's the logical reasoning behind your ideas, he's your pragmatist, and he's your gravity, keeping you still and calm when needed.
— and i also wanted to indulge more in my hc that you and dan heng are so chaotic together
he doesn't shut down your ideas. he just adds logical reasoning to them. those are two very different things. if you have a good idea (you usually do) that sounds reasonable (it doesn't even have to be extremely reasonable either), he'll full on encourage it.
— so you could literally have the most random and out of pocket idea ever, and as long as you back it up with some evidence (doesn't even have to be good), dan heng will approve. i think that's true love.
⎯ such a chaotic duo like you would sacrifice yourself for the world but HE would definitely sacrifice the world for you.
gepard
⎯ you guys are enemies to lovers
⎯ ik a lot of people expect like friends to lovers or something softer but NO you guys are enemies to lovers.
⎯ gepard is so HEADSTRONG and STUBBORN which is why i think he’s the perfect person for the enemies to lovers trope. like ofc his love is going to be so sweet and kind later, but the beginning…
you two are both going to be very determined and you will both fight for what you believe in. that passion makes you two such a good couple, and it also makes your love exhilarating and ongoing, bc that stubbornness you two share will never go away.
you guys definitely have silly little banter and those moments where you guys accidentally brush hands and you guys both blush. lingering touches that may insinuate another feeling that gets you hot
⎯ but you two are like stubborn af. so no confessing anytime soon! it would definitely be a slow burn romance because of your stubbornness and you two are just in denial
⎯ i want to talk a bit more abt you two being enemies: i guess you ideals differ because gepard is so devoted to his orders while you are more of a carefree spirit. you’re more of a rule breaker and he’s more of a rule follower.
⎯ at first you would have rather died than ever spoke to him. his uptight nature and the way he acted so proper utterly pissed you off. serval would have to be the only way you could converse w/ gepard w/o biting his head off
⎯ in the end, after some forced proximity, you two would def be developing some feelings.
⎯ with enemies to lovers, there will be lots of pining. which is why i think enemies to lovers is the perfect gepard trope.
since he’s captain of the silvermane guards at such a young age, he probably doesn’t have a lot of experience in the relationship department. so he’s stuck dealing with being hopelessly and utterly in love with you
everything abt the enemies to lovers trope describes your relationship. the initial hatred, the touches, the PINING, the middle ground.
⎯ after you guys have like a hot make out session i think all the feelings will be cleared up (LMAO)
blade
⎯ your trope is: second chance romance
hear me out: you guys both met in the past because you two were both stellaron hunters. however, the paths you two chose were different. you two were so in love with each other, but destiny had other plans.
now we are in the present, where blade sees you once again, and all his feelings come crashing back down into him. everything he’s suppressed about you: your face, your smile, your laugh; it’s all coming back up
⎯ ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THE VISION!!!!
⎯ you guys make your first encounter, and (depending on your own scenario) it either ends in longing or pain. blade hasn’t seen you in (probably) years.
when you end up spending more time together, the tension is THICK. old feelings are obviously not gone. body language is all pointing to you. breathing gets faster and why do you really want to kiss him????
⎯ something abt intense pining and sexual tension just gets me y’all
there’s obviously past feelings in the air, and none of you want to acknowledge it. so, you two suffice on brushing each others’ hands when you walk past each other, long stares from across the room, and watching each other’s every move.
between the both of you, you would make the first move. it’d be like an accident; it would be one of those movie scenes where the girl/guy asks, “is this weird?” and the guy goes IN and he’s like “not at all.”
⎯ and then the next day you both are freaking out bc what if fails like last time??
idk something about longing and missing someone dearly just screams blade to me. the thought of someone on your mind 24/7. blade having you on his mind 24/7??
sampo
⎯ you guys are: fake dating
⎯ i’m a little on the fence but hear me out
⎯ you two agree to fake dating because it’s both mutually beneficial. it would be no strings attached. plus, you would be able to get away from that one guy who keeps flirting with you, and sampo has evidence that he can commit to something.
⎯ but when does “no strings attached” turn to more?
suddenly, the once friendly arm around the shoulder makes your heart beat quicker. the wink he always gives you makes your stomach explode with butterflies. the friendly offering of a rose makes you blush more than you should.
you aren't the only one affected. sampo swears he feels his heart skip multiple beats after he hears you laugh at one of his jokes. when you took his hand into yours once (it was an act to fool others), his heart nearly stopped in his chest. and suddenly he finds himself making more quips and trying to get closer to you, even though he knows the risks.
⎯ now, you both are left confused with your feelings bc BOTH OF U DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP.
⎯ you both did not think it would turn out this way. before this, you were friends making a beneficial agreement. you guys were fine.
⎯ that is a lie. i just lied. you guys always had some thought about dating each other. sometimes sampo looked a little too good, and sometimes sampo found your eyes a little too mesmerizing…
back to present time. there is so much tension to the point where you both want to explode. and then there are thoughts. maybe you want sampo to be your boyfriend for real. maybe sampo does want commitment. scratch that, because he doesn’t want commitment. he wants you. he just wants you, and that’s all.
⎯ now how do you confess? or do you just hold in the feelings
jing yuan
⎯ CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I WILL NOT BE ELABORATING BC THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR A WHILE.
⎯ ik he was training hard asf in his childhood, but that doesn’t mean u couldn’t have snuck in (i haven’t got far enough in the game to know if you can or not LOL)
⎯ you guys are cute little buddies, because the both of you probably had no friends! and bc of that, an adorable bond formed between the two of you.
growing up, that bond would remain unchanged. even though you lived down w/ everyone else while jing yuan was living seclusively, that never stopped you from seeing him
honestly, you thought you were always going to be best friends. but when someone asked you if you were ever going to get a boyfriend, you realized that the only person you could really see yourself with was jing yuan.
⎯ teenage you had a CRISIS. like you were freaking out after you uncovered your recent revelation. bc you can’t see yourself w ANY GUY EXCEPT YOUR BEST FRIEND??? YOU WANT TO DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND????
⎯ you think you are the only one that feels this way but it’s a LIE. bc JING YUAN FEELS THE EXACT SAME WAY.
after his training, once he rests, his mind constantly flutters to you. sometimes he scolds himself for not focusing on criticism or improvements because he’s too distracted by the fact that you’ll be coming over that day. his thoughts are literally you.
⎯ there was a period in time where you both thought about confessing, however, the whole fiasco w/ his mentor got into the way of that. it was messy, it was sad, and it was not a good time for the both of you. bc of that, you two both set back your feelings due to personal reasons (you wanted him to be emotionally better, he didn’t want to be a burden).
it was years later when you two confessed your feelings for each other. you two were both looking at a photograph of the both of you when you guys were younger, and you confessed you had a crush on him back then.
bro goes, “i have a crush on you too.” and you were like, “haha we should’ve told each other,” but then you’re like PRESENT TENSE!?!?!?
⎯ eventually it is a happy ending in the end! obviously. hehe.
tana’s words ⎯ sorry this was a little vague 😭 if you would like for me to elaborate on some of these scenarios, lmk in my ask box!
#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#gepard x reader#gepard landau x reader#gepard x you#blade x reader#blade x you#sampo x you#sampo x reader#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#book tropes#tropes
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pick a picture; aspects of you that your future spouse will adore
pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3
disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.
「 pile one」
knight of swords (cb: judgement, knight of wands rv), ace of cups (two of swords, five of cups), the hanged man (cb: the chariot, death).
your future spouse will adore your logical mind. you're not the type to get swept up in anger or impulsiveness. you're a steady and reliable presence in their life.
this may not be for all of you, but you may be hesitant to get into a relationship with them in the beginning because of how your past relationships turned out. however, it looks like they adore the fact that you overlook your worries and decide to take a chance on them.
they love your perspective on things. you may be someone who has a easier time detaching and working through change when compared to your future spouse. because of this, you may help them work through situations by offering a different perspective.
i'm also getting an additional message that they love how you reinvent yourself over the years. you may also like to change up your style or your hair a lot. this is something that this person loves.
[songs that may resonate]
hello, brooklyn - all time low, unconditionally - katy perry, rebel beat - the goo goo dolls
「 pile two」
strength (cb: eight of pentacles rv), page of cups rv (cb: nine of pentacles), the moon (cb: ace of cups)
your future spouse isn't highlighting a specific aspect about you that they adore, but they're emphasizing your impact on their life. they may be going through a dry period in their life - lacking passion and motivation - before you. however, when you two meet, it's like you sparked something in them. they view you as brave, compassionate, driven, etc. and your presence inspires them to be the best version of themselves.
this may be a specific message, but for some, you may deal with a lot of gossipy, jealous people in your life that are trying to tear you down. these people lack emotional maturity and are just generally insecure. your future spouse adores how you're able to stand tall and take the high road - you don't let their words affect you nor do you stoop to their level in order to exact revenge. you're content being yourself; you don't need their acceptance.
you may have had bad experiences when it comes to relationships; consequently, you tend to be a bit more reserved when it comes to love. i'm specifically getting that you "make someone work for it." this is something that they adore about you. you only give your love to those who are worthy of receiving it.
[songs that may resonate]
la vie en rose - daniela andrade, goodbye forever - us the duo, perfect/ can't help falling in love - btwn us
「 pile two」
knight of cups (cb: king of swords, judgement), the sun (ten of wands, page of cups rv), wheel of fortune (cb: the emperor, four of swords)
you may usually embody an idealist, romantic energy/mindset; however, you can be incredibly logical when you need to be. i'm seeing that your future spouse loves this duality.
you're the light of this person's life. this isn't an aspect of your character that they adore, moreso how you make this person feel. it's like your presence instantly alleviates any burdens they have. their past relationships seem insignificant when it comes to you; nothing could surpass their love for you.
i heard the line "you make me strong" from the song strong by 1d - that may resonate for some of you. your future spouse is driven by their love for you and they want to spoil you (possibly with material items.) if this person is really in their masculine energy they may feel obligated to make sure you're taken care of. consequently, they may be prone to burnout since they may overwork themselves. despite this, you encourage them to rest. this is something they adore since they feel like you care about their wellbeing.
[songs that may resonate]
outer space / carry on - 5sos, mr. jones - counting crows, dawn to 9pm - brian bulger, jennafer
tarot deck used in this reading:
cirque du tarot
#tarotblr#tarot reading#tarot readings#pick a pile#pac#pick a card reading#detailed pac#tarot#divination#cartomancy#pick an image#pick a photo#tarot pick a pile#free tarot#love tarot reading#love tarot#free tarot reading love#future spouse pick a card reading#future spouse pac reading#future spouse#tarot spouse
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moments on the ring
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
going backwards in time from a year in the future to the summer before samy's senior year, the ring camera captures all of the special moments between samy and will.
2.6k words
i was inspired by the tiktoks of couples having cute moments on their ring cameras, so i wrote this. i thought it was so cutie and it's all just scattered moments of samy and will caught on the lakehouse ring camera
au masterlist
ONE (the summer before will moves to california)
the faster july bled into august, the harder it became for samy to ever sleep. the poor girl's mind raced with a hundred thoughts about starting her next chapter: the last half of college. junior year rode in fast and so did her new captaincy for the women's soccer team.
a dream that the girl's had since she stepped onto campus was now becoming a reality in just short of a few weeks. she couldn't be more grateful, but at the same, she was now leading an entire group of girls in hopes of taking home another national title.
if they lost, it was all on her and that terrified the girl.
she curled up on the front porch steps, eyes on the sky trying to find her favorite constellations. whenever she couldn't sleep, the little hughes wandered outside and stared at the stars until someone came and found her.
usually, it'd be her mom. occasionally jack or luke. recently, though, the one person who's never left her side became the one finding the girl by herself in the late hours of the night. mostly because he'd sense her presence missing and sleepily ventured out to find her.
the front door quietly slid open giving samy the indication that someone found her. she waited for them to approach before acknowledging them. gentle hands slipped something across her shoulders making the goosebumps along her arms quickly disappear.
"found you," will's sleepy voice echoed through the stillness.
"hi, baby," samy smiled up at the blonde as he sat down beside her. the pet name earned a small flush across his cheeks while his hand immediately found a place on her knee.
"hi. can't sleep?" the boy wondered trying to wake himself up more despite everything in him wanting to crawl back under the warm covers.
"yeah. thinking too much i think," she curled herself into her boyfriend's side. his body was like a heater as his warmth spread into her, replacing the cool air swirling around her.
"wanna talk about it?"
a bit of hesitation stopped the girl from immediately opening her mouth. she knew will wouldn't ever judge her, but she almost felt..selfish for admitting being nervous for the upcoming season. he sensed her pause, so he ducked his head down to find her gaze.
"talk to me, hughesy," the blonde gave a loving squeeze so she knew he was all ears. her nickname painted a brief smile on her lips.
"i'm gonna be captain this season," samy mumbled like she didn't believe it herself and she almost didn't.
a smile grew across her boyfriend's lips, "i know. i'm so proud of you."
"what if i let everyone down?" the worries finally flew out of her mouth which almost knocked the breath out of her for admitting it aloud.
"what makes you think that?"
"i dunno. i'm scared i can't lead them to a national title again. then what? i let everyone down," samy explained what troubled her—her doubts and fears about everything going wrong under her guidance.
"even if you don't, no one's gonna hate you. this is gonna be a real good season, yeah? you're gonna take them to the finals again, i know it," will encouraged and his words surprisingly made the youngest hughes feel a lot better. he always knew how to do that somehow and samy never knew how he did it.
"it's just such a big deal. i'm scared i'm gonna fuck it all up," the girl laughed in hopes of keeping herself from crying.
"you won't. you're the best soccer player i know. not many people can rebuild the soccer program in their freshman year," will's sappy words made the brunette blush to the tips of her ears. she hid her face in his chest so he didn't see.
"you're so cheesy."
all will did was kiss her forehead in response. he ran soothing circles across her shoulder which definitely helped settle samy's anxiety. he always knew how to lift her spirits, even if it was just his presence alone.
"you leave for california in two weeks, right?" she changed the subject for now wanting to direct the attention off of her.
"yup. 13.5 days," will's voice almost sounded sad saying that. samy quickly picked up on the shift in his tone, so she shifted herself so she was looking at him.
"your official rookie year. god, i cant believe it's already here," those two years unknowingly flew by for everyone.
"is it weird i'm scared to start a new life all the way across the country from my best friends," the blonde softly wondered. samy cupped his cheek, running her thumb over his soft skin as he leaned into her touch.
"i think you're gonna do really well in san jose. they picked a good one," it was now samy's turn to be all sappy and cheesy. plus, it was only fair that she was because will did it moments ago.
"promise to come visit me?" the boy searched her gaze, one filled with love and lust. the grip on her knee tightened a bit like she'd disappear if he let go.
"i can't promise it will be during the season, but i'll really try after," they knew samy couldn't leave as freely as she did to boston. with her captaincy, she was needed and expected at every practice. not to mention, flying to california was a lot different than flying an hour to boston for a weekend.
"right. just expect a lot of facetime calls then."
their foreheads connected briefly. samy closed her eyes, letting will's sent fill her body and slowly calm her down to the point where she finally became tired. the blonde hooked his arm around her shoulders, a gentle kiss landing on her soft skin.
"wanna go back inside?" he wondered.
samy just nodded, letting will pull her up and lead them into the house. the hockey player smiled at the ring camera that he almost forgot was there knowing it just picked up every single second of that soft moment.
TWO (the summer after samy and will's first year of college)
jack sure knew how to throw a party. people packed themselves in and out of the house, wall to wall, room to room. the summer house probably hasn't ever been so full before, but jack was determined to celebrate luke making it through his rookie year and with nearly everyone in michigan, it was bound to be a good one.
samy stumbled out onto the front porch with will close behind her as they finally escaped the chaos for a few seconds. their hands were intertwined, fearing they'd lose one another in the crowd if they didn't hold onto each other. the brunette fell against the porch railing, some of her drink dripping onto the wood, a lazy smile on her lips.
"jack so would've made a great frat boy if he went to college," will chuckled, leaning himself against the railing as well.
"trust me, i know. we've told him," samy was extra giggly tonight, especially after having a few shots in her system.
the alcohol her brothers bought for the lakehouse didn't and wouldn't compare to the cheap vodka her and hannah found or begged ethan to get them (he refused most of the time anyway). whatever stuff her brother's liked buzzed through the girl's system like a race car and she became a lot more drunk a lot quicker.
the music was so loud, they could hear it from the porch. jack had old pop songs playing and time of our lives by pitbul started blaring through the speakers. samy gasped, forgetting her cup as she pulled will up to start dancing.
"i know my rent was gonna be late about a week ago," the brunette sang—or more like screamed—while swinging her boyfriend's hands around who just laughed.
"i worked my ass off, but i still can't pay it though," will joined in.
they didn't even care that they were the only ones drunk and dancing on the porch. the moment couldn't have been anymore perfect. the oldie songs brought them back to their childhood where they'd similarly scream along to the lyrics without really knowing what any of it meant.
"ooh, i want the time of my life. oh baby, oohhh," once the chorus hit, will spun samy around. she giggled nonstop while the blonde enjoyed seeing her so happy.
the best part of the song came on a few moments later. will wrapped samy up in his arms, snaking them around her waist.
"this is for everybody going through tough times. believe me, been there, done that. but everyday above ground is a great day, remember that," the two sang the verse together before the blonde pushed his lips to samy's when the chorus began again.
something about the moment was so perfect—just two teenagers enjoying themselves as they celebrated getting through their first year of college and long distance while the entire thing was captured on the oh so infamous ring camera right above the door handle.
THREE (the summer after samy and will's first year of college)
samy's heels clicked against the hardwood as she stepped onto the porch. will followed close behind, lazy and lustful smiles on each of their lips as the girl spun around to face her boyfriend. he immediately snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest.
"thanks for driving me back. you didn't have to, you know," the brunette hummed, reaching her hand up to fix some of his misplaced curls.
"i know, but it wasn't any problem," the blonde shrugged.
"it is like 30 minutes out of your way. you have to be up in exactly.." her eyes gazed down at her watch, "five hours."
will didn't even seem bothered by the fact, "i'll just sleep on the plane. whatever."
his nonchalantness never failed to amaze the girl. will was due in san jose for a two week summer development camp with a plane to catch in seven hours, yet he was standing on samy's porch past midnight after spending a long night out with her family and then insisted to drive her back to the house before he went to his hotel closer to the airport.
"you're crazy, you know that?" samy shook her head in amusement.
"i am for you," will grinned, his cheesy words earning a playful eye roll.
"god, you're so insufferable sometimes," she cupped the boy's cheeks to pull his face closer to hers, an indication that she wanted a kiss.
"gonna miss you, pretty girl. two weeks is so long," the blonde hummed.
"it will fly by. we did four months."
"the worst four months of my life," being so caught up in hockey and soccer, time to see one another was pretty limited during the school year.
summer would always be will and samy's favorite months.
"promise to call you every night," samy beamed making the hockey player smile too.
"you better. you're sure you can't come with me?" will always did this when one of them were leaving for long periods of time. he was desperate to get samy to follow him everywhere.
"i wish, but you need to have your moment. one more year before you join the sharks," the girl squeezed his chin.
"don't remind me."
with that, samy placed her lips to her boyfriend's. his hands gripped her waist, deepening the kiss as his tongue slipped into her mouth. she tasted like strawberries—a taste the boy would never get tired of. it just made him want her even more.
"you looked so beautiful tonight by the way," will mumbled when they broke apart for some air.
samy's cheeks reddened, "thanks pretty boy."
that was will's favorite pet name. he ducked his head back down to reconnect their lips. samy's hands started wandering towards will's curls, pulling gently near the nape of his neck which emitted a small sound from the back of his throat.
"wanna kiss you forever," his hands started wandering lower until his one hand slipped over her ass in a tight squeeze.
samy tugged harder at his curls looking for more. their need poured into each other's lips with will tugging the girl closer despite there not being anymore space left between them.
"you two better get a room," jack's voice instantly broke them apart.
samy spun around, her gaze zeroing in on the ring where jack just talked from.
"oh fuck off, jack," the younger girl rolled her eyes.
"you better be glad i was the one who looked and not dad or some shit. wrap it up before they do see anything. y'all are so gross," jack was most definitely rolling his eyes.
"fucking idiot," samy mumbled. she turned back to will, her smile quickly returning.
"see you in two weeks?"
"i'll see you so soon," will planted one more kiss to her lips before heading back down the porch. he waved to the camera incase jack was still secretly watching.
once he was back in his car, samy spun on her heel. bending down so she was eye level with the camera, "you're so annoying. i can't wait until i can annoy you and your girlfriend."
FOUR (samy gets her acceptance to umich)
the adrenaline buzzed through the young girl as she impatiently waited for her brothers and will to come back from their fishing excursion. their last eta update was 10 minutes ago being 15 minutes away meaning they were close to home.
samy texted them saying she had big news. the piece of paper was gripped firmly in her hands, the anticipation nearly killing the poor girl. she paced diligently across the porch with almost a hundred thoughts running through her brain.
distant voices started filling her ears, head whipping towards the dock down the yard. the four of them tumbled out of the boat. "mom! they're here!" samy yelled into the screen door.
she began waving her arms above her head, wanting to catch their attention. ellen was on the porch a moment later, phone in hand to record everyone's reactions.
"guys! guys! hurry!" the brunette yelled to will and her brothers.
"what's up little hughesy?" jack wondered as he picked his pace up and samy rolled her eyes at the nickname.
she'd never escape being little hughesy since her brothers would always be hughes or hughesy. she glanced back at her mom who beamed, nodding some encouragement.
"now what's up?" luke snickered while quinn and will looked at the girl expectantly while also confused when they saw ellen recording.
samy revealed the paper from behind her back, a large smile creeping onto her lips.
"i got into the university of michigan!!" samy exclaimed, immediately jumping up and down.
the shock hit all of their faces at the same time with luke being the first one to scoop his little sister into his arms.
"holy shit!! that's awesome! is it full ride for soccer??" the middle hughes exclaimed as well.
"full ride!" the girl echoed.
jack and quinn took their turns embracing their sister as well, leaving will as the last one. he scooped his best friend into his arms, a large smile plastered across his entire face.
"jesus, you're so awesome. so proud of you, hughesy," will gushed earning a small flush across the girl's cheeks.
she giggled as he spun her around a little.
"now you gotta come to michigan with me," samy poked his chest.
"or you can come to boston," the boy proposed with his little shit eating grin.
her eyes found everyone else's before landing on the tiny camera taking in the entire moment. she ran to it, showing off her acceptance letter with the word congratulations written in big letters across the top. someone wrapped their arms around her waist and samy immediately knew it was will just based on his hold.
the quick kiss on her cheek most definitely went unknown by everyone except the camera. samy sported a small blush before turning back to her brothers where they all continued celebrating their little sister's acceptance.
#hughes!sister x will smith au#will smith hockey#samy x will#boston college#boston college hockey#samy hughes#umich hockey#will smith imagine#will smith x oc#will smith hockey fluff#bc hockey#ryan leonard#gabe perreault#uofmichigan#luke hughes#jack hughes#quinn hughes
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Hi! Love your posts. Can you write crush headcanons for each of the turtles, like how they develop it, how they may act around them, and maybe ask them out? Thank you! Hope you have a great day!
TMNT crush headcanons:
Leonardo:
• Leo developes slow but meaningful crushes! He's very careful, and guarded of his feelings similar to Raph, but in his own way. His crush starts with feeling inspired by his person of interest, someone who makes him want to better himself in any way by either observing their passions, talents, and skills, or who encourages his limits to discover his own.
• He's thoughtful but very subtle about his affections towards someone, he doesn't exactly want them to know
• Observant, attentive, and a classic romantic is how he is—that last part, in his fantasies, at least. He dreams about being able to provide everything his crush could want or need, even though he can't always do so due to how they live
• Leo asks his crush out after a series of escalating gestures of love so it doesn't really catch them off guard. Asks them to meet him alone to talk because he has something important to say, and then makes the confession.
• "I know you have to know what I'm going to say, you're nervous, I can tell...I probably shouldn't have been so cryptic when I asked you to meet me in the dojo by yourself." He softens his posture a bit, to seem less tense. He'd lit several dozen candles scattered all over the room, partially for himself while he meditated to calm his mind a little, mostly to create an atmosphere. "You've become a close friend of mine despite everything, you know you're always welcome in our home, right? And you can come whenever." There's an awkward pause—he doesn't know how to continue with what he's saying. "Ah, anyways—I was saying...I enjoy your company, I would be honored to show you some stuff I know, in exchange for some of your time. Only if you'd like." God, he hoped that you would.
Michelangelo:
• Mikey couldn't hide his growing feelings, even if he wanted to. And it didn't take much for him to fall fast and hard for his crush; the attention he got was addictive and he wanted to give it back tenfold! He always wanted to feel wanted and accepted by others, so even though he couldn't have that from the rest of the human world, the fact that he had that from you was more than enough for him. He was grateful.
• He's his crush's biggest fan!! If there were merch, he'd wear it proudly even if it embarrassed you
• Creative and artistic; he painted and redesigned one of his old longboards just for you. It had some of his old pop-art on it, graffiti style, random sketches and doodles, and every sticker he could find. He tried to remember everything you liked to put it on the things he gave you, whether it were poster collages he made for his wall art or putting love onto the bottom of a skateboard. Big gift giver, so expect to get a LOT of stuff from him—even sentimental items he's nostalgic over, even if you feel bad to receive those things from him. He has a lot to give. 😌
• Mikey confesses by accident one day when he doesn't even mean to—he's playing around with you as usual and gets talkative when he's feeling excited, so it just slips out. Mid-play.
• "Ha-hah! That's what I'm taking about, I love you, Y/N!" There's a pause where it has to compute for a second. "Wait, did I just say that out loud?" He's serious for a moment—he can't believe he actually said that. But the next beat, he's back to smiling at you, laughing, maybe trying to deflect the hint of embarrassment he felt (which was rare for Mikey). "Yeah, I did say that out loud, I guess. Whoops...oh—now, tag, you're it!"
Donatello:
• Despite his brains and his intellectual nature, Donnie is an emotional person and actually falls in love almost immediately when he encounters that perfect person. He gets stars in his eyes and runs his own compatibility tests through his mind as he learns more about them, and annoyingly, they're stuck on his mind even when he's trying to work on his experiments and projects.
• Helpful, playful, a little stingy with your time lol—when he wants to spend time with his crush, he wants his brothers away because they take the limelight without thinking sometimes. Always offering to help you with homework or if you need anything fixed around the house, he's volunteering for that. Broken cabinet? Fixed. Wifi isn't working? No problem. Pipes under your sink leaking? He's been fixing up the Lair for years!
• Donnie is not shy. Let's say that rn. He's 👏 confident 👏. He's a little bit of a showoff competing with his brothers to snatch your attention, even if it's just games.
• He asks you if you'll have him on a date one night on your way out of the sewers. He'd been looking for the prime time to hit you with the question and was a little nervous to do it with his peers around, so he dropped the question when you went to leave for the night. "I know you're leaving—and this will only take a minute! But I had something to ask you." He lets you get curious. He holds up the keys to his prized possession, the Shellraiser, that he dreamed about driving you around in. "Ever gone on a joyride through New York in a souped-up garbage truck? No?...do you, maybe, want to do it with me? As a friend thing? Or maybe as more than just...friends?"
Raphael:
• Raph was completely UNready to admit he was getting soft for you. Or ready to commit to feeling the uncomfortable—but tantalizing—feelings you gave him. In honesty, for a good long while, Raph didn't let you know in the slightest he was getting his heart stolen over the course of the months he knew you.
• Very much puts off his crush with his prickly demeanor. But underneath that tough exterior, he's secretly taking every chance he can get to try to impress you in the ways he knows how; if there's any heavy lifting to be done, you bet he's volunteering himself out for that before anyone else can.
• Acts too good for sappy things until the moment his crush is being vulnerable—it disarms him, he's a protector at heart. He wants to be your shield from everything bad in the world, which is a lot.
• Raph plays the long game with his crush hinting over and over again he's in love, with no luck at times. It frustrates him but it's a challenge. He won't be outright and say it; everything he does is subtle, but the second your back is turned, he's making it known he's got your attention just to pull one over on his brothers (in good humor!)
• Makes his crush work with him to get the confession out, low-key. He makes you guess until you finally start to piece everything together. He will not be saying it with his words, but he'll definitely show it.
• "Y/N. C'mere," he says. "What're you still doing here this late, dummy? Already said it's not safe to walk home alone." Silence. "Agh, I did it again. Ignore my crap. But I mean it, stop goin' home alone, you know I told you I'd come too. And if I ain't available then I'm making Mikey go. Hear me? Stop acting like it's a burden or whatever..." He's kicking himself mentally for being unable to say what he actually wants to say. He ruffles your hair roughly to deflect. "See, now ya look silly like you act. Come on, let's go. I like you better safe in one piece than ending up in the back of some guy's van."
I lost all of my TMNT gifs from my old phone 😭 The post feels bare without it, but anyways, this is my first post in over a year so i hope it's good! 🐢🐢🐢🐢
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2016#tmnt x reader#tmnt 2014#tmnt bayverse#tmnt donnie#tmnt headcanons#tmnt requests#tmnt leonardo#raphael#michelangelo#donatello#tmnt leo#tmnt raph#tmnt mikey#tmnt 2012#tmnt romance
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Ok so this is totally inspired by the Ruggie being sick thing but sick Ptm Jade and Yuu taking care of him!!! I feel like somehow Azul would trick them into taking care of Jade (say he was busy or something with housewarden stuff). And when asked why Floyd can't take of his brother he'd butt in and say he hates how whiny Jade gets when sick. Idk I just have a feeling Jade would play up the dramatics when he's sick. And poor Yuu! Stuck watching the sick eel while endless fantasies go through Jade's head about a domestic lifestyle with them! And hopefully (but not likely) they won't have to see any nsfw thoughts this time!
-✨👀
Jade rarely gets sick, so when he does it's a whole ordeal of figuring out who takes care of his usual tasks and who will wrangle in Floyd (despite him and Floyd both stating that he's not Floyd's keeper and he thinks he's hella funny when he's up to shit.)
If we're setting this in ptm, then I can state with confidence that a second-year student named Marino De Reyes takes over Jade's tasks at Azul's request. And he does so beautifully. However, having someone to wrangle Floyd is a whole nother issue. Our sharky friend Tony is pushed to keep Floyd in check, as they're friends and Tony is typically more level-headed. However, when the two get together, their collective brain cells kinda die out and the two become menaces that actively encourage the other to get into shit. Honestly, Azul shouldn't be surprised, last the two were left to their own devices without someone to properly supervise, Floyd and Tony got tangled by a jellyfish's tentacles because, “they kinda looked like kelp and we wanted to see if they tasted good”. They got stung for over 15 minutes before Jade found them and had their fathers get them untangled.
They a little bit unhinged, to put it bluntly. So Azul and Aspen get busy wrangling their two friends from accidentally killing themselves parkouring on the roofs, So Azul, knowing that ptm!Yuu was taught first aid and care from the nurse, asks (begs) them to nurse Jade back to health. He can feel himself aging by the second, please Prefect, HELP.
So they do, and Jade is actually living in a delirious version of domestic bliss. Like, he actually thinks that you two are married and in your cottage by the forest and seaside. It makes the other students in the infirmary confused as hell, and the nurse giddy and teasing. Jade's not just wearing rose-tinted glasses, he got lasik surgery to have rose-tinted vision, because you can do no wrong. The fantasies he's having are actually quite sweet, just dreams of you two living together. You wake him up to take his medicine? He's visioning you hand feeding him breakfast in bed. Pushing his bangs away from his face to place a new wet towel on his fevering forehead? He's imagining you brushing your fingering through his hair. If Jade's sick enough to need someone else to take over tasks and have Azul owe you a favor to care for him, then he's just a bit delirious. For once, he's not filtering his words from his thoughts and just out right saying everything that his mind conjures.
“You're so pretty. A pretty, pretty pearl! Nurse Goethel, aren't they just beautiful? Ethereal, like seeing our galaxy in the night sky.”
“Pfft-oh? You're very correct Jade, wouldn't you agree, Prefect?”
“Um, well I—”
“I love your voice, my pearl. I can hear you speak all day…”
“Aw! How cute, did you know this Prefect? He's such a gentleman, you should go out—”
“You're so cute and sweet, I bet you taste sweet too~ I'd love to hear you moan for me as I—MmPH!”
Smothering a sick man with a pillow is not typically recommended by medical professionals, but you needed to preserve whatever bit of dignity you (and Jade at this point) had left. You thank the Seven that it was only you three in the room at that time. The week ends with Jade discharged and sent to his dorm with some antibiotics, but the nurse's teasing and swoons of young romance were just beginning…
(Now the real debate is whether or not Jade was actually delirious, or if he was pretending so he could say what he thought and gage your reactions. What do you think?)
#mochi asks#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#jade leech x reader#ptm#✨👀 anon
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hey elysian, hope you're all well ~ do you know what synastry aspects could show one person having an inspirational or motivating affect on the other? there's this guy i went to school with who makes me feel super motivated every time i see him on socials or when we would talk back then but i can't pinpoint what aspect it could be - if it helps we're both capricorns. thanks!
Hello love! I'm doing very good, I hope you too. 🤎
Synastry: Motivational/Inspirational effect
🤎1st house overlays [especially Mars, Sun or Jupiter falling in the other’s 1st]. When there are overlays in this house, the planet person motivates you to be yourself, to explore and show your best qualities and to be proud of them. They boost your energy in an instant, they encourage you to achieve things, to celebrate yourself and to try new things. There may be similarities between the two, which facilitates understanding and empathy.
🤎5th house overlays [especially Mars, Mercury or Venus falling in the other’s 5th]. As for this house, that person can inspire you a lot on a creative level. It reminds me of those people who write poems based on someone, or draw their loved one, I think it can reflect this dynamic a lot. You feel more excited, joyful and relaxed with this person and they encourage you to achieve a little more.
🤎12th house overlays [especially Moon, Venus and Mars falling in the other’s 12th]. When someone's planets fall into your 12th house, many of the effects they have on you are unconscious, you may not be aware of them but to others it may be very apparent. As far as Moon (mainly fire and earth moons) and Mars are concerned, that person easily motivates and lifts your spirits, whereas with Venus and Moon (water and air moons), you can feel spontaneously inspired when you share moments with that person. person or, in some cases even only if you see them. I like to call it the muse overlays, because the level of inspiration is usually very high.
🤎Mars-Jupiter aspects. This one is usually very obvious, as Jupiter expands everything it touches and when it aspects someone's Mars, it makes that person feel more driven, more action-oriented, and of course, more energetic. Although both of you may feel that spark and energy surge, Jupiter person has the strongest effect. Mars person has other effects, such as making Jupiter person’s life more thrilling, interesting and dynamic.
🤎Mars-Sun aspects. These aspects are a bit more direct. Mars person has that quality of motivating and giving Sun person that push when they need it most, while Sun person makes Mars person feel more dynamic or energetic with their mere presence, it is something a little more unconscious. They seem to trust each other's qualities and make the other feel capable of achieving whatever they set their minds to, they feel confident and ambitious when they spend time together.
🤎Mars-Pluto aspects. Here the key word is power. Similar to the above, this couple makes the other feel very powerful and capable. There is mutual admiration and respect and they make the other feel that what they do is valuable and significant, that their efforts and actions are not in vain.
🤎Moon-Jupiter aspects [especially conjunction, trine or opposition]. In addition to being extremely precious and lovely aspects, the contacts between the two planets make the natives naturally put in a good mood, out of nowhere they feel the desire to create, to do and simply to enjoy. A mixture of motivation and inspiration that is mutual and both are given equally.
🤎Moon-Neptune aspects. This aspect helps more than anything to inspire the other. The Neptune person has that facility to give that hope, enlightenment and joy to the Moon person. Moon person feels that everything is possible with the other, feels more positive and seems to have more faith in life. They both understand each other's dreams and most importantly, they value them.
🤎Your 12th house ruler being strongly aspected by the other person's planets (By strongly aspected I mean that 3 or more planets aspect the ruler). This house is famous for representing inspiration, dreams and the subconscious, the fact that many of the other person's planets aspect with its ruler makes them have this effect on you, even reaching the point of having them in your mind for a long time. You think of them and immediately the ideas come to you.
🤎Your 5th house ruler being strongly aspected by the other person's planets (By strongly aspected I mean that 3 or more planets aspect the ruler). It shares similarities with the previous one, in this case it is a joy and motivation. The typical scenario where you see the person, suddenly you feel like doing/creating something, and in the process of doing it, you crack a smile when you remember them. A more creative inspiration can be attributed to it.
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I love your writing so much. I love seeing your posts every day!!! I have a request for Dalton - basically him Chris and readers are at a party and and dalton let loose for once and started drinking. After a few drinks, he gets really touchy with the reader and is all over her and is needy. And is like "I need you" and then you can make it into smut? 🙏
A/N: this one ie heavily inspired by ‘so it goes’ by taylor swift. as always please let me know what you think and if you're not comfortable reading this content feel free to exit my blog! likes and reblogs are highly appreciated 🫶🏻
Word Count: 1.6k+
Warnings: NSFW, smut, established relationship, alcohol consumption, language (again, if you're not comfortable reading this please keep scrolling)
MASTERLIST ✩ SEND ME A REQUEST
So It Goes
Y/N was in her dorm looking through her clothes. She was getting ready to impress her boyfriend and for another dumb party Chris begged them to attend. It was Saint Patrick's Day and apparently it was a tradition for the frat houses to throw a big party, none of them were good though.
The flier said ‘green outfits were encouraged’ but after trying on a few different outfits, she finally decided on a black dress. She wanted to wear something attractive but not too revealing, just enough to drive Dalton crazy. They had been keeping their relationship a secret from everyone, including Chris, and were planning on keeping it like that for a while.
“Woah, since when do you dress like that for a frat party?” Chris asked, closing the door behind her.
“Is this too much?” Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, examining her dress choice.
“No!” Chris quickly replied “You look fantastic, I was just surprised to see you in such a beautiful dress for a lame party”
“Oh, thank you” She smiled at her friend “I don’t know, i have a good feeling about this one”
Chris was pretty much ready too, just finishing up her make up and waiting for Dalton to get there so they could leave together. It was usually like that, for some reason they went to a lot of parties even though they always said they weren’t coming back.
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and an eager Y/N ran to open it, revealing Dalton on the other side.
His eyes widened as he whispered “Oh wow, Y/N… you look-”
“Dalton, you look like you’re excited to go” Chris said when he noticed his smile.
He instantly blushed and entered the room “Are you guys ready?”
“We have been ready for like 15 minutes, why does it always take you so long to get here?” Chris asked him.
“Less time to be at the party, I guess” Chris rolled her eyes and stood up from her bed, examining her two friends’ outfits noticing they were both dressed in black.
“And how come I’m the only one wearing green?”
“I have green earrings” Y/N replied, moving her hair to show off her jewelry. They both looked at Dalton, who obviously did not care about the dress code, he just shrugged his shoulders and hoped that wouldn’t become a problem. The two girls rolled their eyes and left the building, forcing him to guide them to their destination.
They arrived at the ridiculously decorated frat house, already a bunch of frat dudes wandering outside, too drunk to know where they were.
“Well, this looks promising” Y/N whispered.
“If someone gets sick inside, we’re leaving” Chris mentioned before going in.
They had to admit, this party looked like it had potential, the alcohol table had more options, the dance floor a lot bigger and so far, no weird looking liquids on the floor.
Like always, a group gathered to play stupid drinking games. Passing around shots of who knows what to get started. It started out slow, but after chugging beer out of plastic cups the games got more competitive.
Y/N and Dalton weren’t paying too much attention to whatever new game the rest of the group was playing, so far their night summed up in sharing lustful looks in the dark and being a little too handsy, double checking their surroundings to make sure they didn’t get caught.
It went on for a while, until Dalton came up to her and whispered “I need you” Looking around to ensure no one else heard him “Please” He groaned next to her ear.
She did too, so when they noticed Chris was too busy getting drunk with the others, they sneaked upstairs to find somewhere more private.
They didn’t have any luck at first, until Dalton finally opened an unlocked door that led to a tiny bathroom. They started kissing as soon as they went in, closing the door behind them. His back was against the wall and he was blindly looking for the lock on the door.
Moments later, he lifted her up and carried her over to the sink, having a full view of the two of them in the dirty mirror behind her. It escalated quickly, the kisses getting more desperate and the room getting hotter by the second.
“We have to be quick” He breathed in between kisses. Y/N just hummed in response.
She moved to his neck and Dalton’s hands dropped from her face, and his big hands started running up and down her exposed thighs, getting closer to in between her open legs, painfully slowly. Once he reached her underwear he began to run his fingers over it.
“Mhm, Dalton” Y/N hissed at the contact. Hearing her got him more worked up, so he completely got rid of her painties and put it on the back pocket of his jeans, then without even looking he found her clit and started to gently stimulate her, occasionally taking care of the rest of her slit. Y/N was gasping with her mouth wide open and her head was now resting on his shoulder.
Dalton felt his cock twitch in his pants, so he pulled out his wet fingers, ready to unbutton his own pants, until he remembered one more thing they needed to keep going.
“I’ll be right back” Dalton said as he left the bathroom. It only took him like a minute to come back, and he happily showed her a small aluminum package, once again locking the door behind him “I might know where Nick keeps his condoms”
“Ew, that's Nick’s?”
“It’s sealed” He clarified. He went back to stand in between her legs, and without wasting any time , pulled down his pants, just enough to free his throbbing cock. He carefully put on the condom and stroked it a few times before aligning himself with her entrance, slowly pushing in and both of them moaning at the same time. He quickly found a pace that was pleasurable for the both of them.
“Shit” She whispered, with her hand gripping the marble top sink for dear life. Dalton grinned wickedly, pulling her leg so it hooked around his hip.
He continued to pound into her as she creeped under his shirt and found his bare back, her cold hands making Dalton quiver a little, and he was sure she would be leaving scratches down his back, which drove him crazy.
Biting his lips as he brushed his hair back “Fuck” A low groan came out of him. His other hand found her clit to help her with her pleasure. At first, rubbing it slowly, but gradually worked at a fast pace that made her stomach tense. Y/N couldn’t do anything else but whimper uncontrollably “Does it feel good, baby?” He asked.
“Yes” She managed to answer in between moans. Y/N left his back and gripped his shirt for a moment, but then buried her hands in his hair as he thrusted quickly and desperately into her.
They were completely caught up in the moment, the sound of their moans, the heavy breathing and the slapping of their skin giving away what was going on in that bathroom, but they weren’t worried about if there was someone outside. Y/N tightened her thighs around his waist, bringing him closer to her and causing her dress to ride up her thighs even more “Please- almost there” She breathed.
Dalton went faster and took a minute to stare at the mirror, meeting with his own gaze and the back of his frenetic girlfriend, he could see her hair move along with his thrust and her ass roll along the top sink. His hand grasped tightly at her skin as he could sense his own orgasm approach. He kept up his rough pace until he could feel her thighs trembling around him. She was squeezing him, alerting him that she was close “Dalton” Y/N cried out.
Her walls pulsate around him as his rhythm becomes more and more desperate. The overstimulation of his fingers on her clit and his cock inside of her became too much, and she finally reached her release. Y/N felt a wave of electricity hit her as her body jerked against him. This made him lean his head forward and rested it on her shoulder, his hot breath hitting her skin as he mumbled a mixture of swears and moans. It didn’t take long for his orgasm to get him, his thrusts became sloppier and his breathing a lot heavier and uneven.
“Shit” He rasped out, leaving her clit and wrapping his arms around her waist, only thrusting a few more times until he felt his cum spill into the condom. After their orgasms ended, he pulled out of her. She met his eyes again and studied his face, noticing the lipstick marks all over his face and neck.
She giggled and ran her thumb over the stained marks “We have to clean up” She said, before pulling him in for a kiss. They cleaned up and fixed their hair and clothes before coming out, but Y/N felt like she was forgetting something “Dalton…” She started, but stopped when she spotted her underwear hanging from his back pocket. Y/N softly hit his back and grabbed her own panties “Why do you have these on your pocked?”
“I didn’t want them to touch the dirty bathroom floor, did you?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. She rolled his eyes at him and quickly put them on “Come on, let’s find Chris before she finds us”
#dalton lambert#dalton lambert x reader#dalton lambert fic#dalton lambert imagine#dalton lambert fanfic#dalton lambert smut#dalton lambert imagines#dalton lambert fluff#insidious#insidious the red door#insidious 5#ty simpkins
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I am personally sad and stressed and tired at the moment but will resurface to comment that Deanna's Commune last night was indeed baller.
I love that Deanna's unflinching questioning of Pelor is, in part, inspired by Pelor's own unflinching nature; Deanna's desire to measure up and meet her god on the level (just as Pelor's ritual with Vex was harsh, but encouraged her to rise to the occasion). I love that the first question she asks is whether Bells Hells can be trusted, and whether their efforts are truly helping save the pantheon; Deanna may be questioning Pelor here, but she's also questioning everything else, too. And I love that "Are you worth saving?" felt to me like a genuine question, a challenge--not an outright condemnation. It's Deanna asking Pelor if he's worthy, to "show [her] his quality"--exactly the things that Pelor asks of his champions and clerics. I think it's honestly a testament to Deanna's faith and her relationship to the Dawnfather that she feels like she can challenge him like that.
I can really see why Deanna's such a good cleric for the Dawnfather, and also why she's such a necessary voice for the show. She questions things, but holds firm moral stances. She takes courage and inspiration from her god, but also challenges and criticizes him. And despite fandom often putting her in the "anti-god" camp (or at least, the "critical of the gods" camp, which people get real mixed up with the "anti-god" camp at some points), I'd say Deanna's actually become one of the stronger voices for the pros of gods and faith in general. She's deeply invested in the good she can do for others, in healing and mitigating harm to innocents, to justice--and that's usually expressed using the gifts of her faith. Deanna explicitly criticizes the use of religion as an oppressive force, and clashes with Pelor about it, but at no point actively renounces her faith* or the mission to save the pantheon. (*she covers the Dawnfather markings, possibly out of a combination of safety and disapproval, but she probably would have done something more drastic if she'd been fully renouncing Pelor.)
I get why people want more pro-god/pro-religious voices on the show as a matter of balance. But I often struggle to understand what people want from those voices when they don't see Deanna as one of them. A cleric who has a completely, 100% loving relationship with their deity (even Jester didn't have this)? Someone who's entirely secure in their faith with no questions or criticisms of who they follow? Deanna's relationship with the Dawnfather may be complicated. But maybe grappling with questions and contradictions and criticisms is part of being faithful, too; it's not at odds with it.
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WEEKLY THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK'S EPISODE! Though tbh I think I covered a chunk of it last week-
This Claude arc has been some of the writing I'm most proud of in the entire comic, and I'm so happy other people are enjoying it too. Seeing Claude go from the series' punching bag to someone seemingly everyone's screaming over and pitying really feels like an accomplishment to me and I'm so glad even the people who don't love Claude are at least sympathizing with him (the vast majority anyway). Also shout out to Claude's leg for increasing my FP sales. I can't express enough how much my FP revenue's been impacted ever since the return. I got literally less than half of my usual income this month (when I needed it most lol) but the FP numbers *almost* returned to their old average this week, so thanks everyone who fast passed to see the fate of Claude's leg lol.
This is one of those episodes that was a long time coming and I have some kind of strong feelings about it. I've been planning to lop of his leg since high school, but I did admittedly start to get a pit in my stomach the closer it got. By the time these episodes publish, I'm usually over it and laughing to cope (see above), but I hope at least a few people were as disturbed as I was writing it. Which...I know sounds mean, but I really admire media that can get that feeling out of me (without going over the top and scarring me) and it's something I hope I can achieve too. Some of the most important pieces of media that influenced me growing up (FMA, some animations that inspired CoB, Paranoia Agent, etc), really gave me a gut-sinking level of disturbance as a kid, but boy I'm glad I saw them because they sure made an impact in a way that I think made me a stronger writer, and that's one of those things I hope I can achieve.
Anyway, to address a few points I'm seeing throughout the comments- 1. Jericho's reaction. I left it kind of vague on purpose. I have no comment on it and just leave you guys to speculate on how he will react or encourage you to FP to find out (sob please).
2. people legitimately criticizing joking about claude's leg. which is interesting to me. obv there's a lot of jokes and leg puns throughout the comments, and soooometimes I don't like that when a very serious episode's comment section is filled w/ nothing but jokes, buuut there are also enough real comments of concern and speculations and analysis of the ep that i really, really don't mind some leg jokes and puns, personally. like...as you can tell from the image above, even I'm not above making them. To the people who think it's actually fucked up for us to joke about this scene... I dunno. I personally laugh to cope, and I think a lot of other people are doing the same. I don't think anyone's literally going "LOL HE'S SO DEPRESSED HE MUTILATED HIMSELF," I think its just...funny leg puns to make a dark situation a little lighter. At least for the most part. I'm certainly not above joking about it, but as you'll see in the next episode, I'm also obviously taking it seriously and don't plan to make Claude such a butt of jokes now that he's reached this point. That would just be in bad taste. But... I think a leg pun here and there is still in line.
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Loscar Red String of Fate AU
Logan can see the red strings that connect people to their soulmates.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───
inspired by a picture of me and my ex with red string tied around our fingers...........
Logan can see the red strings that connect people to their soulmates. It’s a tale as old as time really, the red string fate in hundreds and thousands of stories, one end tied around a person’s pinky or ring finger the other end tied around their soulmates. Logan can tell you that it’s all true, he remembered the first one he saw tied into a nice bow on his mother’s pinky, spread out across the floor where his older brother was sprawled across, the string doesn’t move as Dalton ran his toy cars over it, on one seems to notices it expect for Logan. The front door clicks open and he can hear the tell tale signs of his father entering their home. One end of the string moves, slowly shortening until it becomes no longer than a few inches as his father wraps his arms around his mother, the other end tied around father’s pinky. The string seems to be magical, shortening and lengthening as two people move closer or further from one another, and no one seems to notice them except for Logan.
Everyone around him has one, his friends, his family, everyone except for Logan. His fingers blank, free of the red string everyone else has.
Oscar’s string was another strange one, there’s one tied around his finger but Logan could never see where the other end goes, it also shimmers fading in and out of view the further it is from Oscar’s body.
He came to accept it, took him a while, but he finally made peace with the fact he would never have a soulmate of his own. No one who is truly his. So he helps the people find their special someone, little words of encouragement here and there, a nudge in the right direction, isn’t that girl pretty, I think that boy likes you, I think this person has a crush on you, after years of this he had gotten pretty good at it.
When he entered Formula One alongside Oscar he could have asked for anything more, him and his best friend living out their dreams together just like they talked about as kids. The red strings seem to connect everyone here, a big tangle mess on the ground, everywhere Logan steps scatters everywhere. Logan watches and observes, he wonders if Max and Charles know why they’re so drawn to each other despite being in a relationship with other people, why their arms are always around the other, why they’re always in their own little bubble, Logan knows– he can see the red string tied neatly around their fingers. He wonders if Alex and George treat him like their child because they feel bad for him or because Logan was the one who made George realize he was in love with Alex back when George was his coach.
“Do you think Lando likes Carlos?” Logan asked one day while making their way through the Mclaren hospitality to Oscar’s room.
“I think so. He was Lando’s first teammate” Oscar replies, throwing himself onto the couch and gesturing to Logan to sit down next to him.
“I meant like, do you think Lando’s in love with Carlos?”
“Oh. I guess,” Oscar glances down at their hands, he seems to be looking at something invisible that Logan couldn’t see, then he looks back up at Logan. “You like setting people up, don't you?”
“What? No I don’t”
“Yeah, you’ve been doing it since we were kids. You never go over the top so people don’t notice but you just sorta push them in the right direction. And none of them have broken up yet, do you know something I don’t?” Logan lets silence fall over them for a few minutes, he watches the string around Oscar’s finger shimmer and fade like it usually does, then back down to his bare fingers.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” Oscar scoffs,
“Don’t change the topic”
“Answer the question, Osc, do you believe in soulmates?” He presses,
“Well, kind of”
“You’re going to think that I’m crazy–but have you heard of the red string of fate?” Oscar was quiet for nearly a minute, eyes glued onto his hand, then he nodded. “I can see it, the string. I’ve never told anyone before but I can see everyone’s string, where they go, who they’re connected to”
“Oh,” Logan knew he shouldn’t have told anyone, and the quiet response almost made him immediately regret it. But then Oscar looks up, “can you see yours?”
“No, I can’t– um I don’t think I have a soulmate.”
“Can you see mine?” Oscar asks again,
“Well, kind of. The closer to your body it is the clearer I can see it, but I can’t see where the other end goes, the harder I stare the more it fades. I’m sorry Osc” after another beat of silence, Oscar whispers,
“The other end’s around your finger” He almost didn’t hear it, Oscar's voice was so soft and quiet he had almost missed it.
“What?” He watches as Oscar lifts up his hand, the string dangling in front of him, then Oscar grabs it and gives it a little tug. Logan’s jaw slacken in disbelief, no one has been able to feel, much less touch the string before. “Osc! What the fuck? You can see it too?”
“No, just mine” he paused, “It connects to you” he gave it another tug and Logan can feel finger jerking slightly. He traces his eyes from Oscar's finger and the string becomes much clearer, bright and red, it doesn’t shimmer anymore, it is as solid as everyone else's and it leads right up his once bare hands, wound tightly around his pinky in a lopsided bow. He nearly burst into tears. “Lo, you okay?”
“My whole life, I thought I didn’t have a soulmate, no one for me. But it turns out, you’ve been here this whole time. I—” his chest swells with more happiness than had ever experienced in one lifetime. “I’m so glad it’s you,”
“I’m glad you’re my soulmate too, Lo”
“Is it a good time to tell you that I’ve been in love with you for a while?” Oscar blushes a deep red, refuses to look up at Logan as he mumbles something under his breath. “What?”
“I love you too!!”
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Lego House | Aggie Beever-Jones x Reader
Words: 3.8k
Summary: 2 years together basically means forever, no matter what happens. inspired by Ed Sheeran’s ‘Lego House’
Warnings: injury, you guys know I don’t stick to actual events so, slightly suggestive maybe?
this is for me but also kinda for @perfectpersuasion because they seemed really excited about it
“Headphones?”
“Check.”
“Chargers?”
“Check.”
“Passport?”
“Double check.”
“Then why am I 100% sure it’s still in your top draw?” I dramatically reach across to my bag to prove that my passport is in fact packed safely in the secret pocket that I designated purely to the piece of identification.
But it’s empty, and I have to bashfully turn back to Aggie to admit it isn’t where it’s supposed to be. She only gives me a pointed look and I’m standing up and dragging my feet behind me to grab the passport from my bedside table draw.
“I swear I put it in there Ags. Last night after training.”
“Well it’s a good thing we’re doing the checklist. It happens every time, you forget something.” Once I slide the small book into my bag I drop back down onto our couch, leaning into my girlfriend. She wraps her arms around me, and I bury my head in her neck, feeling the regretful late-night yesterday setting in.
“Come on we’ve got to be boarding the bus in an hour and who knows how long it’ll take us to get there.”
~~~~~
Naturally Aggie and I sit next to each other on the bus and/or the plane when the team travels for matches. We usually take a spot toward the back, or wherever is least populated or energetic, so that we can just be there together. Our hands are almost always interlocked and I’m usually leaning on her shoulder as we talk about our play or whatever interesting things going on.
“I’m nervous.” I whisper in her ear as we begin the decent into Gothenburg.
“Everyone underestimates us because we’re young, so when you get on that pitch, either starting or as a sub, you show them you belong at Chelsea, and that we belong in the Champions League. Okay?” When she looks at me to confirm my answer I lean forward, pressing a small kiss to her lips.
A flash goes off in the corner of my eye and I turn to find Zecira holding the media crew camera.
“The fans are going to love that.” Smiling a toothy grin, she turns to someone else, leaving us be.
-
The dark December sky encourages the cold and the light dusting of snow that begins to cover the tarmac. I wrap an arm around Aggie’s as we wheel our bags into the airport, trying not to fall face first on the slippery surface.
The warmth inside is welcomed as we are guided past the large crowds and onto the bus. Once again, I take my spot beside Aggie, behind Jessie and Niamh who were talking about Jessie’s new favourite tea. A calmness settles over everyone as Emma announces who’s rooming with who, which we all basically already know. 9 times out of 10 it’s the person currently sitting next to us.
Opening the door to our room brings great relief as I flop onto the bed closest to the window. Despite the two queen sized beds on either side of the room, it was inevitable that I’d end up curled up in my girlfriend’s arms as we huddle under the blankets, the other bed left untouched. This also usually meant that our room was the one to come to for activities, an extra bed meaning more space.
Aggie stands staring out the window, the city spanning across the horizon as the sun begins the set, the blue barely beginning to fade into purples and pinks. Old buildings and the river that runs through the architecture draw her eye as I stand behind her, taking in the way her body rises as she breathes, and the twitch in her lips as she spots something she finds beautiful, a certain spark in her eye. One that’s always there when she looks at me, hard to ignore.
“Did you bring your camera?” I ask as I slot in beside her. A hum in answer suffices as we take in the moment.
“We’re really here. Together.” I press kisses to her shoulder.
“Stamford Bridge is one thing but, we’re playing in the fucking Champions League. We’re not sat on the bench forever, we actually get minutes, not matter how little.”
“And we’re going to fucking win tomorrow’s match. Consider it an extra anniversary present.” Aggie chuckles and I feel the butterflies that burst to life in my stomach every time I look at her.
My mind drifts to the real present that sits carefully in a compartment of my bag for our anniversary tomorrow. My mum insisted it was perfect for Aggie and despite my hesitancy, I had to agree.
“We should head down for dinner.” Aggie leans down to kiss me before we leave.
~~~~~
Emma gave us a few hours to explore the city in the morning before we had to begin training and warming up for tonight's match. Jessie, Niamh and Zecira join us in the foyer, and we start our journey through the Swedish city, Zecira eager to introduce us to her country's traditions.
Not long into the walk, we stumble upon a small café on a terrace. We slide into a table and order our respective drinks, Aggie additionally getting a kardemummabröd, cardamom bread, for us to share. Niamh refuses to be apart of the picture that I take of the group at the table, but I manage to convince her to smile for the camera as we head back down onto the street.
The group splits into 2 after that. Aggie and I leave to seek out some flowers and a quiet spot to spend time together for our anniversary, while the others head back to the hotel, desperate to stay warm, although Jessie doesn’t seem to mind the cold winds.
“Look! They have red carnations!” Aggie is the one to point out the flower stand, full of red and green, that holds bunches of my favourite flower.
When the shop owner sees our linked hands, she smiles, the corner of her eyes wrinkling as they light up.
“For free.” She pushes Aggie’s hand away as she tries to pay for the red carnations.
“Love is enough payment.” I slip some money onto the bench as we leave, heading to an empty but rather beautiful park across the road.
“Happy anniversary.” I press a kiss to her cheek as I hand her the small bag. Inquisitively, she opens it and the box that sits on the bottom, revealing the gift.
“It’s a family ring. Handed down through a bunch of generations. The oldest kid gets it to give to their partner, the one they and the family think is the one. The person they’ll spend the rest of their life with, who makes them the best them.” I explain the origins as I take the ring from the box and slip it onto her hand. The gold band holds a small, encrusted peridot gem and fits perfectly on Aggie’s hand.
“Thank you. I love it.” Her voice is soft and watery, and her cheeks flame red when she looks at me. I can only imagine the love that adorns my face as I look at her. I’m about to kiss her when she has a moment of realisation.
“I left your gift in the fucking room.” The sweet moment is broken as she throws her head back and groans, and I can’t help but let out a hearty laugh.
“It’s okay.” I place a hand on top of the one she has on my thigh.
“Nooo we won’t have time when we get back, you’ll have to wait until tonight and that’s unfair.”
“I don’t even expect gifts Ags, just you and me. Plus, you got me my flowers. My favourite flowers from my favourite person. Sounds pretty good to me.”
“I’m your favourite person yeah?”
“Mmhm.” Her finger links through the thin gold chain that hangs around my neck.
“Show me then.” Her voice is raspy and deep as she pulls me forward by the necklace until our lips meet. It’s a hot and heavy kiss considering where we are, but I reciprocate it none-the-less.
I go to pull away, but she pulls me back in and I end up on her lap as we make out on the park bench. Her hands grip my thighs and mine hold the back of her head… Until we remember we’re on a park bench.
“That was kinda hot. Definitely a good make up present.” I smile down at her as our foreheads rest against each other.
“Emma’s going to kill us if we don’t head back soon…” Aggie is adamant that we begin walking to the hotel so we’re not late, so we walk hand in hand through the cold, barely arriving in time.
-
Training and warm up went well. The schedule was easy to adapt to and we weren’t pushing excessively as to waste energy before the match.
In saying that, we were up 2-1 when I got subbed on in the 60th minute, replacing Lj who wasn’t feeling all too well at half time. I felt good and energised, ready to make my second UWCL appearance.
Sam and I were gelling well together as we often did, making passes and taking shots on goal, only to be blocked by the Hacken keeper. It was a hard game but we were winning.
Aggie gets subbed on in the 68th minute, along with Jessie. The ball rarely makes it back past us, Erin often making a run with the ball toward us. Eventually Aggie passes me the ball and I try to gage my surroundings. Sam is offside, passing back to Aggie would be a mistake, Jessie’s surrounded. Erin has a clear path and shot of the goal.
I begin to run, and right as the ball connects with my foot, flying toward Erin, a body knocks against mine and my knee buckles. Nothing feels real as I fall to the floor, a loud pop filling my ears as pain radiates through my knee. I let out a blood curdling scream, but it isn’t heard over the cheering of Chelsea fans as Erin hits the ball into the goal.
I toss around on the grass, holding my leg and slamming a hand repeatedly against the ground as I sob and wale, waiting for someone to notice. It’s Sophie who places a hand on my back and yells for the ref, who then yells for the medics.
Aggie drops down in front of me as we wait, and I try and reach for her hand. The task finds itself to be difficult as my own hand shakes and my vision is blurred by tears.
“It’s- it’s my ACL.” A loud sob slips from my lips despite my attempt to hold it back.
“You don’t kn-”
“I know it Ags. I know it is I swear.”
“Okay, okay. It’ll be okay. The medics are here to look at it okay?” I nod as their hands grasp my leg, asking whether certain movements hurt or not.
It’s when I see them wave for the orange stretcher that things feel real again. Like everything was happening in slow motion until that moment. And I begin to cry again, my head now resting in Aggie’s lap as she runs a hand through my hair.
Every movement hurts as they transfer me from the ground to the stretcher, and I try not to scream out. A couple of the girls walk alongside me until the sideline, where Aggie grabs my hand and kisses me.
“I’ll come see you as soon as I can, okay?” I nod and watch as she runs back onto the pitch, her head turning every few steps to look at me, worry set in her eyes.
Turns out ‘as soon as I can’ would be much later. The medics had decided that instead of waiting until tomorrow or until we were back in England for a scan, it’d be best to go straight to the hospital. So we did.
Despite the usual wait to receive scan results, I’m sent back to the hall to wait for them. While waiting for the radiographer to call my name, Emma messages me asking if I wanted the team there. I decline the offer, knowing the girls would be exhausted after the last game of 2023 and would just want to sleep.
That doesn’t stop Aggie showing up.
I can hear the pounding of shoes hitting the linoleum ground, someone clearly running, but I don’t give it much thought as I scroll mindless on my phone. When she crouches in front of me, hands on my thigh to keep herself balanced, I have to try not to show how relieved I am. I knew what the results would be but hearing it makes it all the more real and I needed my girlfriend to hold my hand.
“Did we win?” a soft chuckle fills the air, and she nods as I put my phone in my pocket.
“3-1, because of your pass to Erin.”
“Oh, that’s good.” I’m aware of the glum look on my face as Aggie sits on the ground in front of me, allowing me to braid her hair repeatedly as we talk, waiting for the results.
“Ms L/n?” Aggie is quick to stand and turn to face the doctor while I struggle with the crutches.
“We know you already know what’s wrong but, to confirm, you’ve ruptured your anterior cruciate ligament in your right knee. You’ll be referred to a doctor and surgeon in England so you can arrange the surgery as soon as possible once you get home. I’m terribly sorry.” she leaves us with a woeful smile and the only thing I have to stop me from spiralling is Aggie’s hand on my shoulder.
“You’ll get through this. We will get through this. I’ll be there every step of the way. So will the girls. And if you fall down, I’ll pick you back up.” She kisses me on the forehead, and we begin the walk out to the parking lot, waiting for someone to pick us up.
-
Most people are asleep or relaxing in their rooms or the meal room by the time we get back to the hotel. Emma gives me a hug but doesn’t encourage us to stay or talk to anyone, knowing I’ll want to be alone with Aggie for a while.
“Getting on the plane tomorrow is going to be a challenge.” I try to laugh off the thought of all the normal activities that won’t be easy anymore as I shift onto my side of the bed.
“I’ll carry you, bridal style.” With that, Aggie hands me a gift, the gift she forgot on our date earlier in the day.
The box is rather heavy, and when I take off the lid, I find a photo album. It’s hard not to smile at the photo of us kissing that’s stuck to the cover.
“A page for every day we’ve spent together. For every day I’ve loved you.” I flick through the pages, reading some of the notes around the photos.
“This is why you take a photo of us every day?”
“I also just love capturing your beauty.” I pull her close to me and kiss her.
“I love you so much.”
“Not as much as I love you.”
~~~~~
I ended up having my surgery on Christmas day. Aggie and my family had planned on having a big day together, opening presents and having a feed, and I felt guilty taking the joy away. There wasn’t really any other choice. Aggie held me the night before as I cried. Our bed felt like the only safe place, even in our apartment, so that’s usually where I stayed. The increase in rain felt very fitting for how I’d been feeling.
Once everyone started coming back from the Christmas break, our place became more lively. I still used a singular crutch just in case, but for the most part I could put solid weight on my leg again, which meant I was able to do more activities with the team. We would hold game nights and/or movie nights once a week and occasionally I’d cook a Sunday roast.
Eventually Aggie began to take me to training. I wasn’t able to do anything, but I enjoyed watching the girls and just being in the environment again. It also made me happy watching Aggie play, it was when she looked the most carefree, despite others claiming that was when she was with me.
Aggie hadn’t left my side. Helping me shower and do the exercises for my knee. She always made sure I was entertained and asked if I needed help. Most of our spare time together was spent with me wrapped in her arms, watching a shitty tv show or talking.
“What did the doc say?”
“The ligament is looking good. They still think I’m on track for getting back in the gym in May, test out that anti-gravity treadmill.”
“And you got the team physio check up tomorrow yeah?” I hum as I adjust myself in her arms, head slotting into the crook of her neck.
I was having weekly check-ups with the Chelsea medical team and my own physio, which made it rather nerve wracking, wondering if one would feel the same as the other. If we weren’t all on the same page, my recovery time could be pushed further back. The team physio check up was the last one to confirm that I’d be allowed to start training and building stamina back up next month.
-
When I arrived at Cobham in the training kit, I felt really good. Some of the girls who pulled up at the same time as us were screaming across the car park and wishing me luck in my first session back.
I knew I’d be stuck in the gym for at least 2 months before I was allowed back on the pitch. Even then it’d be another couple of months before I was properly training with the team again, but this was the first step, and nothing could take that joy from me.
The girls started their mornings off in the gym, which meant they were cheering me on and helping me as the trainers gave me exercises to do. Aggie spends most of the hour doing the exercises alongside me, only leaving to complete something mandatory or to get us more water.
“You don’t have to Ags. You should focus on your training.”
“I promised I’d be here every step of the way. I’ll do it all for you.” She locks the leg extension and gives me a hand to help me up.
“Now onto the anti-gravity machine. First time huh?” she gently bumps me with her shoulder as I get ready to step into the chamber before Lily, my designated trainer, enables the ‘anti-gravity.’
“Oh this feels weird.” The way my body lifts with every step eases the pressure on my knee as I start to get used to it.
“Look at you! This is so cool.” Aggie doesn’t stop smiling as she watches me, some of the other girls occasionally making their way over to watch.
-
As predicted, 2 months later I begin training on the pitch. It felt lonely, watching the girls and being so close to joining them, yet so far. But I knew I was nearly there. Lily helped me with building up speed and getting used to the feel of the boots and grass again. Then came shooting practice; standing, getting passed a ball, and shooting. Eventually we added the training mannequins and Lily played goalkeeper as I manoeuvre around the pitch and obstacles.
Aggie likes to join us at lunch or sometimes gets excused by Emma to help me.
“Aggiiiie. I’m supposed to have the ball you’re supposed to just block me.”
“You gotta fight for the ball or take it off someone at some point.” Her cheeks are that beautiful pink as she grins at me.
“I hate you.” I puff out as I try to catch my breath.
“I’m wounded.” A hand falls to her heart before she approaches me, the ball still at her feet, and she leans in for a kiss.
“Nuh uh you’re being mean.”
“No I am not! Please one kiss.”
“Fine.” As she closes her eyes again and leans in, I swipe the ball from underneath her and start to run to the goal.
“What the fuck!?”
“Get better babe!” I take a shot around Lily, although not very hard considering her lack of goalkeeper training, and watch as it slots into the back of the net.
-
“73 minutes in and number 10 Lauren James is being subbed off! Who for? It’s Y/n L/n making her first appearance of the 24/25 season after rupturing her ACL in the Champion’s League in December last year. Her first game in 326 days at a sold-out Stamford Bridge! And who else is there to walk with her onto the pitch, if not her girlfriend and one of Chelsea’s star strikers, Aggie Beever Jones. Today is a great day for it.”
I try not to cry as Aggie takes my hand, making my way to my position. The cheer from the crowd as I jog on is deafening and I clap back at them before the ref blows the whistle.
Not long into play, Aggie makes a run forward, and I find a clear space between players near the goal and call for the ball. She kicks it and it soars through the air, making contact with my head as I jump. The net ripples as it skims passed the Arsenal keeper, and I’m making a run for Aggie to celebrate.
“First game back and you scored! Let’s fucking go!” she grabs me by my face and pulls me in. The kiss is unexpected but welcome in celebration.
We win 4-0, and Aggie and I find ourselves tangled up in our sheets, tracing patterns on each other’s bare skin as we whisper messages of love and adoration for the other.
“I’d do anything for you.”
“You did everything for me.”
Y/N_L/N
Y/N_L/N: this is a thank you letter to the one who’s stood by me for 3 years. who’s loved and cared for me when I didn’t think anyone would. a year ago today I ruptured my ACL, on our anniversary, and in the year since then we’ve only grown stronger, loved each other harder, fallen deeper. i'd do it all for you, like you did for me
---------
Beth and Viv’s new doco on their ACL journey really helped me with writing this. Obviously not everyone’s journey is the same so I tried to make it as different as I could with ruining it all together. I hope they’re proud of the doc because it’s really going to help people, and hopefully encourage more funding in researching the ACL injuries in women’s football and help with creating boots designed for women, so it lowers the risk of injuries like ACLs.
#woso x reader#woso#womens soccer#wsl#woso fanfics#aggie beever jones#aggie beever jones x reader#aggie beever-jones#chelsea women#chelsea fcw#cfcw
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Letters to My Love
Fandom: Lord Of The Rings Return of the King
Pairing: Haldir x fem!reader
Warnings: Mutual pining, angst, kissing, awful sugary fluff (I need a happy ending as life is a blackhole of existential dread).
Summary: You leave Lórien after spending time recuperating to visit your friend Eowyn and promise to send word back to your friend Haldir. Though you think of him more than that, does he feel the same though?
Word count: 6040
Comments: More Haldir for the Haldir throne! First longer piece in the LOTR fandom. Hopefully I've kept Haldir relatively in character. Thank you to @heilith for the encouragement and motivation to finish this and post. You're a wonderful inspiration.
Putting your quill down you stare at the ink now drying. Reading it over you frowned in concentration, trying to make sure there was a tone of friendship without any of your clear desire bleeding through. Friendly and precise was the aim as always in your now routine one sided correspondence. It was getting increasingly difficult with each letter though to tow that line especially with who the recipient was.
You look at the envelope already set aside, Marchwarden Haldir in your neatly block printed handwriting followed by the address; it always gives you a small rush even to write his name.
You had left Lórien after promising Eowyn to visit her and her new betrothed and not wanting to outstay your welcome with your Elven hosts you had set off as soon as you were well enough to ride alone. But it had been a bittersweet parting. Of course you had wanted to come and congratulate your friend on her new love but you felt loath to leave the peaceful forest, and your new friends.
Haldir had asked you to send word that you were safe when you had left Lórien, your logical mind telling you that it was out of friendship, but the slight frown as he had softly requested it had made your breathing hitch. It almost seemed for a moment as if he had been nervous to ask. The usual stoic mask he wore as Marchwarden slipped if but for a split second under the morning sun.
*****
"I promise my friend." You had replied after climbing on your horse smiling gently. After all it was the least you could do after being able to rest and recuperate after the battle with Sauron in the beautiful sanctuary of Lórien.
You tried to ignore the traitorous voice in the back of your head whispering that you were a coward and running away.
Gripping the reins tightly till your knuckles went white you swallowed hard. The growing feelings you had developed for the ellon in front of you were pushed down and sitting uncomfortable in your chest waiting to crawl up your throat and crow out to the world.
Haldir had stood by your horse, hand on its neck stroking it softly as he went quiet, the morning breeze stirring his immaculate hair. It had seemed to you he had wanted to say something, his brows drawn into a small frown that you didn’t know when you had started to recognise.
“You must promise me to be safe, the roads are still dangerous,” He had spoken eventually into the horse's neck, fidgeting with a lock of its mane. You had opened your mouth to try to defend your skills but the words choked in your throat, your mouth shut promptly at the way his hand stilled with its incessant action. His head turned suddenly to you and the frown had deepened.
“I do not doubt your skill,” He continued and he pressed closer to you, his blue eyes boring into your own. “Just promise me to be watchful.” Haldir finished, his free hand moved to your calf for a brief moment of contact but enough to feed your hunger for him.
His gaze struck you dumb, a heat rising to your cheeks. All you could do was nod mutely in return, the blue of his eyes usually clear as the summer sky were troubled and stormy. Was the thought of your safety that important to him? Perhaps he thought of you also as more of a friend?
A watery smile tugged at your lips at the possibility, a foolish notion to be sure for someone so perfect to find attraction in the imperfections of a mortal such as yourself. You leaned down and the bittersweetness of causing him concern selfishly comforted you slightly in that you were not alone in the emotion when he had parted from you to go on patrols. Now before him, you missed him so and you had not even left his presence.
“I promise you Haldir,” You had spoken softly, proud that there was no wobble to your tone as you reached out and grasped his shoulder. Those blue eyes cleared of the storm for a moment.
“I will write every time I stop, you shall receive so many letters you will regret asking me,” you tried laughing and you saw the corner of his lips curled up slightly. “You shall receive so many you will have to clear a bookcase to house them.” You giggled lightly at the image and he gave a breathy laugh that sounded more like a relieved exhale. His hand returned to your calf and squeezed lightly.
“I shall clear two.” He stated with the deadpan tone that you have come to crave. Tilting your head you stared at him a moment to engrave the way the sunlight played across his face, it lit the blue of his eyes in a blinding shade that you would willingly go sightless staring at. He seemed to be watching you just as carefully and you smiled softly at him, in the way that only he provoked from you.
“Just as well, Rúmil and Orophin have gifted me enough supplies to paper your flet.” You smirked and watched as the mention of his brothers made Haldir grimace a moment. The hand on your calf moved to your hand resting on his shoulder.
“Best to put them to good use then, I shall hear no end of it if you do not.” Haldir had spoke in that exasperated tone he always used when speaking of his younger brothers. You couldn’t help the grin on your face though at the twitch of a smile on his lips that always betrayed his tone.
A tightness in your chest returned then, you would miss them all, Rúmil and Orophin never failing to make you laugh at their antics. Their merciless teasing of Haldir stretched now to you in a way that gave you a sense of pride that the brothers felt comfortable enough to torment you.
Haldir's hand was warm against your own, the rough callous of his fingers a seductive rasp against your responsive skin. Goosebumps danced up your arm at the contact. Your gazes met again and a heavy silence fell over you both. The cool breeze in the trees whispered around you as the heat from earlier played across your cheeks again.
Parting from him shouldn’t give you such pain, but knowing you would wake up the next morning not being able to see his face made your stomach turn in unease. Goodbyes were never such a heartbreak for you before with a life constantly on the road but now? Here where the breeze was sweet in your nose and the warm sun dappled on your skin this was a place that finally felt like a home now despite being a mere mortal.
You let your eyes lower as you don’t want Haldir to see the sadness in your gaze, not when you were parting like this.
“Promise me you will stay safe also Haldir.” You whispered, his fingers had flinched when you spoke his name.
“I promise.” Haldir stated resolutely. Slowly raising yourself straight in the saddle you reluctantly withdrew your hand from his shoulder. Haldir stood watching you again with that inscrutable look for a heartbeat before raising a hand to his chest in a farewell gesture.
You mimic the gesture and force a smile on your face though you can feel the burn of tears behind it.
“Farewell Marchwarden Haldir.” You spoke, the forced smile started to crack. Moving your horse forward through the forest you had felt eyes watching you the whole time and knew it wasn’t your imagination.
*****
A knock and giggle from behind you snapped your mind to the present again as the door to your room opened.
Twisting around you see the familiar face of the servant girl Molly bustles in. Turning back you frown and rest your fingers on the letter in front of you again. Sighing softly you look out the window of your guest room in Minas Tirith. The sun starting to set it lit up the city below, throwing shadows across the stone you mind wanders off to tall trees and blue eyes.
Lazily leaning on your hand the picture of Haldir gazing at you plays across your mind again. You had never seen a more perfect colour of blue than his eyes. No sky, ocean or flower could come close to his piercing gaze. It had not taken you long to understand it was not just the colour but the soul behind the eyes that made them so alluring. You felt a pull to him from the moment the two of you had met.
You counted yourself lucky that Haldir had given you the opportunity to become close. Though the act of saving the others' life in heavy battles, had helped forge a bond between you and the handsome ellon. It was he who had invited you to stay with him after Aragon's coronation having now no fixed plans. Your old companions had teased you mercilessly after finding out.
"An invitation from the Marchwarden himself? A rare thing indeed." Aragon had asked with a large grin and a wink making flushed heat rush from head to toe as you stood beside the elf. Stealing a glance up at him you had noticed the twitch in Haldir's jaw.
You hear Molly clear her throat behind you and you blink away the memory.
“Sorry for disturbing you m’lady would you like me to lay your dress out?” Her warm voice makes you shake your thoughts.
Turning around again you face her smiling, glad of her company.
“Yes please and tell me any new gossip.” You grin. Molly clicks her tongue but throws a smile back at you.
“Of course, you need new material for your letter to your friend?” She asks but the sly look and emphasis on “friend” makes you glance at the floor as you try to squash the girlish giggle.
“I enjoy his company, he’s a very interesting person.” You try to insist as Molly opens the wardrobe and with an expert eye pulls out a long gown.
“Of course he is,” She replies, her dark eyes are warm and clearly don’t believe you. “I caught a glimpse of him at the Kings coronation,” Molly continued plucking out accessories. Turning to you she raised an eyebrow and tried to look serious. “He looked very interesting.” She teased lightly.
“Oh stop you.” You grouse half heartedly. Standing up you make your way over to the bed and trail your fingers over the fine gown laid out. Surely it was a little over the top for a small party? You go to voice this but stop yourself after all Molly knows more than you ever could about court protocol and the younger woman had been a godsend in helping you navigate the intricate politics thus far.
“Does he answer back?” The other woman asks innocently. You stand over the dress still and go silent. Noticing your actions Molly turns from the hair pins laid out and tentatively steps over.
That was the thing, the thing that hit you like a gut punch and made you lie awake at night. All the letters you had written over the weeks you had not received any in return. You didn’t want to admit the thought made you not sleep for the last couple of weeks though the results were clear every time you saw your reflection.
“No.” You reply still gazing at the dress. Focusing on the delicate embroidery of flowers and vines it made you think of lush forests and your stomach lurched. You felt Mollys body hover near you.
“I’m sure he’s just been busy m’lady.” She voiced softly.
“Yes, he has a lot of responsibilities.” You say carefully, feeling your throat constrict around the words. You hoped that was the case, he was on a long patrol and couldn’t write back. But what if he had been hurt or what if he just didn’t want to indulge a silly human and her infatuation? You clasp a hand to your chest at the dull ache hiding behind your ribs at the thought. Perhaps it was time to stop the letters.
A hand drifted over your arm gently luring you away as the door knocked again.
“Come m’lady the bath is here then let's get you ready.”
You hum in agreement as the bedroom door opens and two other servants carry in a tub with jugs of hot water.
“Where is Eowyn?” You ask out of reflex, speaking to her always lifts your heart.
“Lady Eowyn went riding earlier. I’m sure she is getting ready now for tonight.”
You hum again, tonight’s party was to be a smaller affair. You hoped that it was for an announcement between Eowyn and Faramir’s wedding date. The way the two of them looked at each other, if they didn’t get married soon you were sure they would be announcing something other than a wedding.
The bath is quickly set up and Molly closes the bedroom door softly behind the other servants, before coming back over. The scent of lavender and honey drifts over from the tub of water. Scents that should give you some comfort but the icy claws of doubt have struck deep in your chest.
“May I help you with your dress?” She asks, her hands neatly folded in front of her.
You nod silently still looking at the flowers on the dress, it was a beautiful gown gifted by Eowyn for tonight. Raising your hands to your face you pinch your cheeks lightly, this was no face for a party. Seeing your old companions would cheer you up, you were sure of it.
*****
The stone of the balcony was cold to your touch as you clutched in the night air. You had left the party and wandered outside to take a breath of fresh air, the ballrooms' heat with the tight corset of the dress you were wearing was not a happy match.
Earlier thoughts of distracting your mind with the welcomed company of your friends had worked for a little while. But after some time the world had seemed to shift, you were watching them laugh and dance as if you were looking through a window from outside. You felt an outsider lost, alone and unbearable cold in this sweltering hall. Taking your goblet you nodded to the others and whispered to Eowyn you needed a breath of air, her bright eyes had glanced at the closed main door before nodding her response.
“You look beautiful tonight.” She had whispered to you.
“I look tired.” You retorted. Her gaze is quick and sharp, little escaped her notice.
“Does something ail you?” Eowyn asked and you tried to open your mouth but one look into her eyes and you stopped. That knowing gaze, a mixture of sympathy and pity. You let a bitter smile twist on your face.
“Am I that obvious?” You asked and hoped the others wouldn’t come and pry. You know they mean well but the thought of having to talk about it fills you with an exhaustive dread.
“Only to me,” She said softly and made a show of smiling brightly, fingers running over the sleeve of your gown, pretending to comment on it. “I know that look too well my sister in arms,” You can ‘t help but smile at the honour of her calling you that. “I know because I wore it’s mirror image not that long ago.”
Leaning close she pressed a soft kiss to your cheek she whispered softly making you close your eyes tight to shut out the threat of tears.
“I will see you happy again sister.” She finished, your closed eyes fluttered and missed the furtive glance she gave the door again.
“I’ll be back soon. I just need a moment to myself.” You said leaning back. Seeing her smile and nod, you had walked out.
Closing your eyes you feel the night air cool the sweat beading at your hairline after being in that ballroom. The heady scent of honeysuckle makes you dizzier than the wine at your elbow. The city beyond was quiet at this height, the twinkling lights below like stars. Perhaps you could make your life here now? You would be welcomed for sure. You should stop writing the letters now, let Haldir go, it could never work. He only saw you as a friend, a comrade in arms. Not as a woman, not as an equal in soul.
Perhaps that was for the best, with how short a mortal could live compared to the age that elves did it would be selfish of you to ask for that love from him knowing it would be a blink of his eye and you would be old and grey. That you would be dead and dust and he would have to live on with that grief.
No this would be for the best then. You nodded to yourself and picked up the wine to take a sip. Lost in your own thoughts you never notice the presence of someone approaching behind.
"Hiril vuin," comes a familiar voice from the shadows and you feel your breath hitch. Turning slowly you grip the goblet in your hand till your knuckles hurt, it can't be him? You're tired and thoughts are just added surely?
Silhouetted in the doorway stands a tall broad chested figure. The moonlight catches his features as he takes a step closer and whispers your name.
"Haldir?" You call with a pitiful whisper, praying you were not dreaming.
"Good evening," he says, all shadow and silver light.
You can't help but give an incredulous laugh and confused smile.
"I can't believe it!" You cry with a catch in your voice. "Am I dreaming?" You ask the night air as he moves to stand in front of you.
"I'm very real." he replies, smiling gently. The blond ellon is just as tall and perfect as you remember, dressed in his grey grab as Marchwarden. Reaching out a hand you let your fingertips graze his chest and sweep up to rest on his shoulder. There's a near perceptible shiver that runs through him at the physical contact. He watches you carefully, seemingly finding your giddy wonder amusing.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, still not fully convinced this is a fanciful hallucination brought on by drink and the heat.
He raises a perfect eyebrow and paces a hand on your own that is still on his chest.
“I was invited and I came for an important task.” He responds, his voice low and calming as if to soothe an excitable child. Perhaps that’s what he saw you as. The thought makes the smile slip from your face and you try to pull away but his grip on your hand stops you. You pause and look at him quizzically.
“Important task?” You ask and he nods.
“Yes but now is not the moment to talk of it.”
You press closer to him and let your trapped hand splay across the broad expanse of his chest. You can almost feel the quick thrumming of his heart, perhaps he arrived in a hurry.
“Aragon and the others are inside if it is that important.” You say and his expression gives nothing away. His eyes make you shiver though. The blue you love is a thin ring of silver in the moonlight, blond lashes catch the light like gossamer. This close you fancy you can see your desire for him in your own eyes reflected in his blown out pupils. The black expanse drawing you in.
Your earlier sensible thoughts of moving on from him are promptly forgotten now, you are a mere moth to the radiance that pours off him. It was foolish to ever think you could extract yourself from him.
“Calad nin.” He whispers and his free hand reaches out carefully to touch your shoulder. The meaning of his words are not lost on you, you wonder if he could hear your thoughts about being drawn to his light. For surely he does not feel the same as you do.
“I have missed you.” You confess and the tell of his lips curling slightly makes you want to reach out and trace it. Engrain it in your memory till you can always feel it at your tips.
“As I have missed you.” He replies and the words alone make you grin wildly.
“You have?”
“You doubt me?” He retorts with a quirk of an eyebrow in a mockery of admonishment.
“Never.” You breathe out, a giggle escaping in the process, and fling yourself at him, clutching at him tightly. Your carefully pinned hair is surely a mess but you'll face Molly’s scolding later for wrecking her hard work.
It takes a moment before he responds. A strong arm wraps around you and drags you closer till you’re not sure where you start and he ends. If only it could always be like this. The evening wind whistles against the unforgiving stone as the two of you stand still clutched at each other.
“Did you get my letters?” You ask eventually breathing in his scent. The fresh smell of woodland and sandalwood makes you relax.
“Yes.” He responds, his arm around your waist has moved to the small of your back running his fingertips where your spine is hiding under the corset. Not moving your head you run your fingers over the edge of his robe.
“You never replied.” You say in a small voice you barely recognise as your own. You feel a sense of accomplishment you have kept out the hurt or accusation from the tone.
“When you left,” He started and then with a little protest from you he pulls you back a little so that he could see your face. “I was sent on patrol for a few weeks, you’re letters were passed on to me when they could but,” And he pauses and looks over you from head to toe as if only realising your state of dress.
“You are truly a sight to behold,” He breathes out like a prayer. You grip his arms and feel the heat from your face rush below. Twisting your fingers in the bulky sleeves of his tunic you wet your bottom lip and don’t miss the narrow of his eyes on the action.
“You were saying?” You asked and tugged in his sleeves.
“Yes,” He continues and he looks momentarily embarrassed that he had his previous statement aloud. “I was on patrol till only a few days ago and my own stationary supply was very limited and couldn’t send my replies back,” He releases you a moment and digs into a pocket within the recesses of his robes.
Letting go of his arms you fiddle with the sleeve of your gown as he extracts a bundle. Haldir passes it over to you solemnly like a great treasure and to you it is. Wrapped neatly with a green ribbon is a small stack of envelopes. You take them reverently and hold them in both hands. Your name is written neatly in a precise, strong hand that fits Haldir well.
“You replied.” You say out loud as the doubts and heartbreak of unrequited affection are doused.
“Did you think I would not?” He says and this time there is a tone of reproach to him.
“I- I know how busy you are, important,” You start and he takes a step forward to you as you stare at the bundle of letters not trusting yourself to be able to stop crying in relief if you look at him.
“With responsibilities other than replying to my silly letters.” You choke out and you curse yourself for getting so emotional. His hands are suddenly on your own cupping the letters between you both. The calluses on his fingertips trace up to your wrists causing another flush of heat to pool below.
“Nothing about you is silly.” He tells you and you close your eyes as his thumbs stroke across the pulse in your wrist. Eru, the things the ellon did to you with such a simple touch.
“I feel it at times when it comes to you,” You say softly. “A silly human yearning for your attention.” His hands still and you bite your lip. You’ve gone too far. The hands on your wrist slide with deliberate slow ease, an illicit seductiveness.
“Look at me,” He commands and you lift your head immediately, your breath catches in your throat at his look. Silver hair and intense eyes as he moves a step closer making you tilt your head back to look up at him and keep eye contact.
“There you are,” He speaks and his voice is low like a purr. “I will only say this once, I never want you to put yourself down because you are human.”
You nod softly and bite your lip.
“The things you do to me,” He mutters. “The way you move me,”
One of his hands trails up to your jaw tracing along it. All you can do is let out a soft whimper at the contact. “No one else has been able to do so in all my years, regardless of who or where they were born.” His thumb moves to swipe over your bottom lip.
“But I have only a short number of years Haldir compared to you. If we,” And you pause now not sure how to word your thoughts.
“If we?” He asks provocatively.
“If we are together,” You continue and heat rushes to your face and down below at what that implies and he hums deep in his chest at the word. “How could I sleep with you beside me knowing the inevitability of what will happen to us? Of leaving you begrudgingly alone and I am nothing but bone and dust?” You raise one of your hands to cup his jaw and he leans into it his warm lips as they press against the delicate skin of your inner wrist. Goosebumps ripple along your arm and across your collarbone.
“Has this been troubling you?” He asks and rubs his nose to nuzzle your pulse.
You nod again as his gaze watches you carefully.
“I wish you had spoken to me sooner so I could ease your mind,” He states. “It is the nature of things that we will die.” He states calmly.
“But,” You start.
“Maybe it will be I who dies first.” He interrupts you.
“Haldir, that’s not funny.” You scold but he only looks at you with a flicker of surprise.
“I was trying to flatter you.”
“Flattery is telling me how pretty I look in this dress, not that there’s a chance you will leave me a grieving heartbroken woman.” You retort hotly and he presses his lips to the pounding pulse under your skin and smiles.
“You're breathtaking in that dress.” He corrects you.
“Haldir,” You start and his lips twitch into that smile.
“And when you’re angry,” He adds and you look at him with what can only be exasperation.
“You are not alone with those thoughts, I spent a long time thinking of the exact same thing.’ He continues and the irritation subsides in you.
“And?” You say almost frightened at what his conclusion is.
He still has your hand and leans into its touch, closing his eyes a second seeming to savour it.
“That a life without you would grieve me more,” Haldir speaks softly. “In all my years I have given myself freely to the responsibilities of my position as an older brother then Marchwarden, it is something I will not ever regret,” His eyes open and flick to you and his a chaste brush of his lips to your fingertips he pulls your hand back to the letters you are both still holding. “Till I met you, grew to know you. I have never wanted anything for myself,” You watch his expression shift from contemplative to resolute.
“Neither of us knows the future and how long we have,” Haldir pauses. “But I do know that the future is meaningless without knowing your love. I shall continue to exist but it shall only be that.” He brings both your hands up to rest on his chest above his heart.
“A song does not last forever but to experience it let it live in you is what makes us alive, though we may mourn it’s end,” Haldir leans down so his nose rubs against your own softly and now it’s your turn to close your eyes to savour the action.
“So will you take a chance and let us sing this song of ours together?” He whispers to you and you let your eyes flutter open. It should be intimidating to see his trademark intense gaze but it only makes your lip wobble and eyes fill with hot tears of happiness.
You move one of your hands from his grip and reach up to his jaw, fingers caressing it and watch as it tenses under your touch. You let it linger before following the line of Haldir's throat, his adam's apple bobbing as your fingers touch his jugular. You can feel his own heartbeat race under your skin.
“Yes Haldir.” You answer and his impassive mask breaks as he smiles as though he wasn’t sure you would agree.
“Yes?” He asks and exhales, letting his shoulders drop with a short soft laugh.
“Yes Marchwarden.” You repeat and close your eyes to let out a small giggle as he pulls you against him again. His arm tightens around your waist as he buries his nose in your hair. Your free hand wraps around his neck as you move your face to press a soft kiss to his jaw. Haldir lets out a low sound that vibrates through you and makes your toes curl. Moving slightly he presses his lips to your ear making you tremble.
“You shiver, are you cold?" He asks, his voice low and lilting.
"No it's not the cold that makes me shiver." You say and turn to meet his gaze. Those ice blue eyes are burning and you revel in the fire.
Haldir's arm runs up your back as he mutters words in Sindarin too quickly for you to catch. His hand stops at the nape of your neck before cupping the base of your skull. His breath fans your cheeks and you close your eyes in anticipation of the handsome ellons kiss. Your ellon now, you licked your bottom lip at the realisation.
There was a brief heartbeat before you felt his chapped lips brush against your own. The chaste action made you mewl softly and you felt the low groan from him before he pressed closer. His plush lips unforgiving against your own as you kissed back desperately. Your arm moves to loop around his neck to tug on his long hair and you're rewarded with a grunt and sigh from Haldir as he nips at your bottom lip. Sighing with content you grant him access to your own mouth which he ravishes with the keen precision he does in everything.
You tug on his hair again and let out your own soft moan as he tilts his head to kiss you deeper. Both of you are teeth and tongue as you scrabble for one another. There’s a far away cheering and laughing over the start of a song that startles you both apart.
You try to catch your breath but it’s difficult when you're tangled with Haldir in his vice-like grip. He’s gazing at you again with a softness that makes your chest feel like it will burst.
“If this is a dream don’t wake me.” You state to the universe and Haldir's lip curls slightly softening his usual steely expression.
"It should be I who asks if you are the dream." He finishes.
"Why is that?" You say, your fingers moving from his hair to graze his jaw.
"Standing in the moonlight is how I often dream of you." He murmurs and nuzzles against your cheek.
“And tell me, what do we do in these dreams, Marchwarden?” You tease and let out a breathy laugh as he lets out a shaky exhale.
“I would rather show you dearest.” He mutters his voice dark and delicious as his arm moves so his fingers hold your hip tight.
The sound of laughing and music fades back in again interrupting
“Maybe we should wait till we’re sure we won’t be interrupted?” You ask your throat going dry at the thought of being alone and playing out your own dreams with him. You hear him agree and press a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips.
Pulling back from each other you run a hand over your hair to try and see if it can be saved and do a half hearted attempt at fixing it. You had all you needed now, you could stand to play a little loose with propriety. Smoothing your gown down, you glance up to see him standing watching you with what only could be described as wolfishness that sent your pulse racing again. You reached up and smoothed his own hair and gasped as he grabbed your wrist.
“Haldir?” You ask as he presses his lips against your wrist again.
“Your pulse flutters like a bird.” He states calmly.
“And who’s fault is that?” You accuse him which only makes him smile longingly at you.
“I shall bear the responsibility, I apologise I needed something to sustain me a while till we could be alone again.” He reports so matter of factly it makes you grin.
“And when shall I have time to read your replies my dearest?” You laugh and Haldir pauses a moment.
“That was the important matter I came here to discuss.” He tells you calmly and you frown.
“What is it?” You ask concerned. He steps closer again and brushes the back on his fingers against your hand which you immediately turn your own hand to clutch on to.
“On a desperate matter of if you should feel ready to return with me.” He whispers softly, leaning down so he is eye level with you.
“Return to Lórien?” You ask with a quiet excitement as he nods.
“To return home meleth nin.” He says and watches your reaction. You blink a moment as the words sink in.
Home.
Hot tears fall immediately but Haldir is already holding your face gently and wiping them away with his thumbs.
“Meleth nin?” He asks all serious and alarm. You can’t help but give a gasping laugh which makes him relax again.
“Of course I shall you silly ellon,” You mutter and close your eyes as he kisses you again though softly as if to remind himself you are truly saying those words. “I love you after all.” You confess and you feel his smile against your lips.
“I love you too.” He whispers then says something soft in Sindarian which you need no translation for.
A loud applause erupts from inside as the music finishes.
“We should go back inside, I need to speak to Eowyn,” You say and pull back holding his hand to trail after you to the inside door. Pausing, you look at him, grinning wide and ecstatic.
“I shall tell her I am needed and will be going home soon.” You explain with a mock primness. He glances down and in the moonlight you swear it almost seems he is blushing.
“Yes, you are very much needed.” He agrees with such solemnity. But even in this light you can see his telltale twitch of lips.
“After all, I have important correspondence to catch up on.” You murmur with a happy smile as you press the letters close to your heart.
Haldir smiles warmly and presses a kiss to your hand before letting go and stepping close.
“I shall clear another bookcase at home for them all meleth nin.” He whispers with a smile.
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Venus Conjunct Mars in each Sign
I noticed that Cancer Venus conjunct Mars are LOVED and protected by so many, like the people in their life see them as someone who must be protected at all costs because they’re so “precious”. The people around them may behave as if they’re bodyguards to this native, if any harm were to occur around them they’d rush to protect them like a little sister/brother. Usually these people have a good reputation of being sweet in their personal circles and individually are deemed acceptable by society. Honestly this placement gives princess treatment from the people in your life, especially those under the themes of the house it’s in.
E.g Zendaya, Keanu Reeves
I think in general Venus conj Mars can bring an influx of opposing blessings of the themes of the sign its in, it can show where you have a high concentration of passionate appreciate/admiration. Like I said with cancer, it makes native highly protected (Marian trait of cancer), and cared for (Venusian trait of cancer). This was originally supposed to be an Astro observation but I wanted to talk about this more.
Aries Mars conjunct Venus makes those around them feel inspired and intimidated of the native, also noticed that they’re dominators of their fields and that’s usually where that sense of intimidation/fear others have for them come from. Despite this those around them know that they can’t outdo the native. You guys are like a monopoly company, you already have all the shares. People may get up in the morning in your name so that they can one day be on the same battlefield as you. It’s not that people want to outdo you but it’s more is that people know you’re so accomplished that they want to compete at the same level.
E.g Christiano Ronaldo, Queen Victoria (yes the one responsible for British empires colonialism), Napoleon III, Lupita Nyong’o.
Taurus Venus conj Mars makes those around the native feel good about themselves like the Taurus native is a trophy wife in a way, they can be seen as the ideal person to be with like the diamond of the season in Bridgerton terms. To be around them not only feels good but is also a status symbol, a bragging right. You feel spoiled to be around them. They treat those around them good, they’re the kind to pay for the entire tables food and say “it’s on me tonight, it is my pleasure”. These people are also very much well looked after by those around them because of this placement, others feel like they just deserve it
E.g Kanye West, Adolf Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, Jessica Alba
Gemini Venus conj Mars causes those around the native to feel giddy, excited, like they have a high school crush on the native and are wiling to escape anywhere with them on command, people feel like they are being energised around you but also a sense of conflict around you too, it’s as if the people around the native views the native as overwhelming at times. People may view you as fun and always full of good ideas but also after a while it just gets too much for them since there is a lot of energy here. You’re able to attract anyone with this placement but just don’t be surprised for people to turn their backs on you after that high is over for them. Honestly I have seen this placement manifest as an influx of stardom and connections all for those same connections to just say “meh” when asked about their opinion of the native overtime. Despite all this they ALWAYS remain popular.
Eg. Wendy Williams, Charli D’Amelio, Naomi Campbell, Mike Tyson, Dwayne Johnson, Boris Johnson
Leo Venus conj Mars is celebrated and uplifted, people around the native encourage and celebrate them, they’re glorified for the bare minimum, everything they do just seems like it is crafted to perfection by the gods and they’re treated like celebrities, royalty, like they’re better than everyone else,like the teachers favourite class pet, they can also make those around them feel like they want to be the top dog and take their position, that’s why because of this they can have many impersonators since people want to take their fame and glory, they want to be praised and put on a pedestal like these natives. You guys are seen as the prodigies, main characters or whatever you want to call it. People around you just think you have it good and want a slice.
E.g Amy Winehouse, Playboi Carti, Riley Reid, Monica Bellucci, Daniel Radcliffe, Donald Glover, Emily Ratajkowski
Virgo Venus conj Mars are likely to receive support too but a different kind, more like mentors, teachers. I think these people get tough love, if they put in the bare minimum they won’t get away without being hounded for it. People around these natives always want to help them and give constructive criticism so they can become better, people see them to be competent, they may also be perceived as a modest, the people around them may treat them with respect with politeness, honestly the way a butler would behave to its child client is how these natives are treated. Alfred Batmans Butler comes to mind when I think of how they’re treated and how they’re seen by others.
E.g. Austin Butler, Blake Lively, Bruno Mars, Amber Rose, Joe Jonas, Wiz Khalifa
Libra Venus conj Mars are romanticised but not in a dreamy way but in a “trendy” manner, think of Libra being a ruler over Venus and the detriment to Mars already makes the native treated by others in a way that perhaps they’re not taken seriously, they may be undermined just down to their looks or physical appeal but they’re given compliments, treated like a delicacy like chocolate. You’re the treat. They have an undeniable appeal to them but it’s so soft no matter how big, how tall, how unattractive, how masculine they are, they always have this softness to them that makes them liked by their peers. People might even treat these natives like they’re dating them or something. They are highly sought after in terms of relationships due to their romantic aura. For some reason those around the native may feel that their energy screams girlfriend/boyfriend material.
E.g Freddie Mercury, Kobe Bryant, Adam Driver, Future
Scorpio Venus conj Mars have this intense intimidating but sultry air to them. They’re treated like the way a dog treats its owner with treats. People may submit to them and do what they want in order to get something out of them and also because they know if they don’t there may be consequences. They can make people feel uncomfortable because of their intensity, almost as if they’re being seen through. People can also feel uncomfortable with the energy these natives surround themselves with .Natives can have strange company around them or they themselves ARE the strange company, usually their love interests are villains or are seen as victims of the natives. Venus is in detriment here so these people aren’t treated very soft, they don’t need to say anything in a room but it just feels intense because of them. There may be more darker levels of adoration for these people like lust and envy, even a lack of compassion. They’ve probably been stalked or harassed once in their life.
E.g. Leonardo Di Caprio, Finn Wolfhard, Joe Biden, Greta Thunberg, Sydney sweeny, Bruce Lee, Joaquin Phoenix, Jimin
Sagi Venus conj Mars are treated like a compass on the ocean, you guys are the good luck, people think you have such interesting philosophy and may also treat you like you are the wise one. Like the way a child asks a question to a magician expecting them to pull an answer out of their ass, you guys have an expectancy to bewilder others. Treated with openness, like anything you do is a whatever thing, people don’t expect conformity from you. You guys are admired for the straightforwardness you have in your life. People allow you to be you. These natives are the risk takers they’ll just be like “fuck it!@“ and do something like jump in a pool. People treat you with honesty, they just tell you what they think of you and your behaviour sometimes giving unwarranted advice to you. In general others may think you’re a little silly as well as if you don’t take life seriously for what it is.
Eg Bella Thorne, Kendall Jenner, Hayao Miyazaki
Capricorn Venus conj Mars are treated like the owners of the place. Think of the eldest sibling, the first grandchild, the first one who graduated in the entire lineage. They are treated like THE standard, the blueprint, used as an example of what “to be”, the one in charge, the one you have to convince. People look up to them not in admiration or desire, but in respect and authority. Others treat this native with practicality and formal courtesy, they won’t use slang around this person but may even address them with honorifics that explain their status. They’re most likely to have the blue tick on social media, they are the establishment. Those around them may also be conservative because of their nature. People don’t want to say anything stupid around you because they know it can affect their status and your response would make them feel foolish too. The people around you may treat you like they’re a contestant on dragons den and you are the investor judge. People might even stammer because of you, they really don’t want to embarrass themselves
E.g. Walt Disney, Brad Pitt, Jim Carrey, The weeknd, bjork, Neymar, Mads Mikkelsen, Prince Andrew, Avan Jogia
Aquarius Venus conj Mars people around them act like fans, followers. People always want to know your next ideas they could read, listen or watch whatever it is you’re doing because it’s so unique to them. Others are fascinated by your ideas and intellect. Honestly I’d even say that’s how you can get someone in bed that’s your magic charm. People also just feel like they have been friends with you for a while even if they just met because your humanitarian spirit comes through. MANY have a friend crush on you (really want to be your friend). People with this placement also are very independent thinkers, they don’t base their ideas on standard but rather on their own unique perspective. You can make others see things they hadn’t noticed there before. You bring what is under the ground to the table. Imagine a prehistoric man bringing home the tribe cow milk after playing with its udders and showing how them how it can be a source of calcium. You guys have strange solutions and you do it for the sake of others.
E.g Hozier, Harry Styles, Zoella- Zoe Sugg
Pisces Venus conj Mars you guys are the dreamy ones people idealise you so much like oh “______?? They could never do no wrong” people are very sensitive and compassionate towards you and those around you love your creativity, how you’re able to just bring something poetic and meaningful to this world. You’re the person a stranger would start crying and pouring out to on a bench next to a park at 7am due to the nurturing presence you have. Those around you may always feel safe around you and they can trust you, natives with this placement gain mass trust by those who are vulnerable and they too can be vulnerable themselves. There is strength in their weakness, their ability to appear so tender can allow them to be non-judgmental and have power over others because they are not being opened up to. They show people the strength in playing small. You make people wooed by your kindness and care for others, no matter how disingenuous it may be.
E.g. Heath Ledger, Vincent Van Gogh, Jeffrey Epstein 💀, J.Cole, Machine Gun Kelly, Lewis Hamilton, Mac DeMarco
#astrology#astro notes#astro placements#astro observations#astrology observations#learning astrology#astro community#astro#venus conjunct mars#sagittarius venus#leo venus#astro posts#cancer venus#pisces venus#aries venus#aquarius venus#gemini venus#virgo venus#taurus venus#venus#mars#astro blog#astroblr
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Teaser Trailer
"Car's Outside" - A Series | Inspired from the song by James Arthur
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Driver!Reader
Summary: You're a struggling Formula 1 driver who joins Lewis Hamilton's family on a holiday, discovering unexpected connections and a sense of belonging that transcends the track and redefines your perspective on relationships and racing.
Trigger Warning/Content Advisory: Contains mature content and explores complex themes. Please be aware that it may also include scenes of high-speed racing, accidents, intense emotions, emotional conflicts, personal growth, and intimate moments. Reader discretion is advised.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Masterlist
You're a driver for the Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team and your teammate is Lewis Hamilton. Lately, you've been experiencing a string of bad races with incidents like DNFs and collisions with other drivers. It's been frustrating for you and affecting your performance, and it's becoming apparent to everyone around you. After the worst race of your life, you're heading back to the paddock.
"For fuck's sake, why does it always have to be me?" you mutter.
Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice Lewis's dad, Anthony Hamilton, waving at you on your way. You walk right past him until someone grabs your arm. Irritated, you shoot them a glare, but your eyes soften as you realize who it was.
"I've been calling out to you from a mile away. Where were you?" he chuckles.
"I'm not sure... I've been distracted by something," you respond, avoiding mentioning what happened earlier.
"Do you have a moment to talk?" he asks, seeming eager to share something.
"Um, yeah, sure," you reply, not fully engaged in the upcoming conversation.
He extends his arm in a gentlemanly way, and you take it, walking together toward the paddock. He leads you to a table where you both sit down.
"So..." he begins, looking at you and rubbing his hands.
"Um... hi?" you greet with a smile, unsure of what's happening.
"I know you've had a rough start, and I was thinking I could offer you some help."
"Oh, I'm fine. I don't think I need anything... um... yeah," you respond, feeling embarrassed and frustrated that Lewis Hamilton's dad has to address this with you.
"I can see it's been challenging for you, (Y/N). It's not about more training or spending time on the simulator. It's about finding a genuine love for what you do," he explains, pausing briefly and then smiling at you.
"What I'm saying is... I'm inviting you to join us for a little break from everything. It's Easter soon, and I know you usually prefer to have some time to yourself, but wouldn't it be better if you got closer to your teammate and have a change of view?"
You and Lewis have never been close friends, perhaps due to the chaos you've caused on the track or because you weren't good enough to be on the team, making him not even acknowledge your existence. You've never had a conversation or even exchanged a nod. Everything people see online is just PR to avoid any controversy.
What confuses you is the fact that you're being invited to their family holiday. You! Someone who has no connection to them whatsoever. Well, you and Anthony had formed a father-daughter bond. He would motivate and encourage you during race week. Your own family has never been close or supportive when it came to racing. Since then, you've worked hard for everything you have and have become independent, not relying on anyone.
You simply blink at his offer, lost for words.
"Lewis!" Anthony calls out as Lewis enters the paddock. "(Y/N) and I were just talking, and I invited her to join us on our holiday."
Lewis looks at his dad, eyebrows furrowed. "Um... Did you ask her, or are you taking her hostage?" He glances at you and then back at his dad.
"You can say no, you don't have to do everything he says," Lewis tells you without even looking in your direction.
"Um... yeah, I don't think I should disturb your family matter," you say, standing up and making your way to your driver's room.
Anthony lets out a disappointed sigh upon hearing Lewis's comments. "I told you she needs our support," he tells Lewis, his eyes filled with sadness.
"You don't know her well enough to know what she needs," Lewis retorts sharply, then turns and heads to his room.
✧ ･ﾟ : * ✧ ･ﾟ * ✧ ✦ ✧ * ✧ ･ﾟ : * ✧ ･ﾟ :
As you prepare to leave and head to the parking area, a smiling Anthony calls out to you from a distance. You jog over to him, not wanting to keep him waiting.
"Hey, I'm sorry for turning down your offer. I thought it might be awkward for..." you begin to explain.
"Oh no, you're coming!" Anthony interjects.
"What?"
"We're leaving right now," he informs you.
"Huh?"
He gently puts his arm around your shoulder and guides you towards a van. You spot Lewis sitting by the window, and Anthony nudges you to get in, making you sit between the two Hamiltons.
Initially, your thoughts race:
Wait... Where did he say we were going?
I don't have a bag with me...
Wait... Where is my passport?
Lewis remains silent, engrossed in his phone as you sit beside him. Anthony wears a smug smile, satisfied that his plan is unfolding as intended.
"Um... Thank you. I guess, for having me... I'm still not sure what's happening," you express, uncertain.
Anthony chuckles in response.
"Here." He hands you your bag. Opening it, you find your passport and other essential items for the airport.
"We are leaving?" you ask, staring at the contents of your open bag.
"But I don't have any clothes with me," you point out to him.
"I've already taken care of that. You'll get some once we arrive in London," he assures you.
"London?"
He smiles at you once more.
You glance at Lewis, who continues to ignore you, still fixated on his phone, unwilling to address the situation.
You take a deep breath. Well, at least I'm getting a free getaway, you think to yourself.
🌟 Welcome to the series! 🌟
You have the power to shape this story too! Share your questions, predictions, and ideas. Let's dive deeper into this journey together.
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton blurb#lewis hamilton fanfic#lewis hamilton fanfics#lewis hamilton fanfiction#lewis hamilton fic#f1 lewis#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you#sir lewis hamilton#mercedes f1#lewis hamilton series#lewis hamilton imagine
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Hiiiii there! I really liked your Meltdown one shot! It made me think about Save My Life and if you wanted could you write something about that song? I had an idea but you don't have to do it. But what if Niall is having a hard time after 1D break up and when he meets y/n she basically gives him the motivation and encouragement to write his own songs and have a solo career?? Only if you want to do that or even write it.
Thank you so much lovely!!! That means so much!!!🥹 I hope this is everything you hoped for! I do try when writing for this precious baby.
Save My Life
Niall Horan x Reader
Summary- Niall was depressed. He was lacking motivation and he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. But one day, he meets someone who just might save him.
(Wrote this in Niall’s pov so I hope it’s okay!)
Niall’s POV
January 2016, London
It had been a long couple months since we agreed to take a hiatus, and the boys all got to work on their own thing. But me? I don’t even know where to start… It came so easy to me before and now? I can’t even think.
I decided to get out for a bit, and visit a new pub Harry had been telling me about. I decide to take a walk there, needing the fresh air after being trapped inside in an attempt to write.
I enter the almost empty pub and I’m greeted by the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She smiles at me and my stomach fills with butterflies, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.
“Hey! What can I get for you?”
I smile and take a seat across from her at the bar.
“Just a pint of Guinness, please.”
She smiles and makes it quickly before she slides it over to me.
“Would you like to start a tab?”
I think about it for a second before nodding.
“Yeah I think so. But shouldn’t you check my ID?”
She giggles and shakes her head before giving me a smile.
“No need. I know who you are, Niall. I know you’re old enough. But not like in a bad way because you’re not old-I mean not that I have a problem with older people but…Sorry I’m just rambling now.”
I laugh and shake my head.
“No worries. I appreciate it. What was your name? I don’t think I caught it.”
She smiles and her eyes glow in the light.
“That would be because I never gave it to you. It’s Y/N.”
I tilt a pretend hat and she lets out another beautiful laugh.
“So what’s a girl like you doing working here, Y/N?”
She dries another glass as she looks back at me.
“Just putting myself through school. Going to school overseas isn’t cheap and I’ve got aspirations in life. What about you, Mr. Pop star? Surely you’ve got plenty going on but yet you’re in a bar by yourself on a Wednesday night.”
I let out a sigh and I grip my glass with both hands.
“I guess it’s just been hard since the band went on hiatus. The boys are starting to all branch out and do their own things and I… don’t know. I’ve got so much pent up creativity and no idea how to get it out.”
She nods and puts her rag down before she leans on her elbows and looks at me.
“So you’re in a creative funk and you’re unsure if you can actually do it? Here’s my advice. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re your own person, Niall. Not Harry, not Louis, you’re Niall. And that is enough. Do what feels right.”
I smile a little and nod.
“Are you in school to be a therapist, Y/N? You’d make a great one.”
She laughs and shakes her head.
“Actually, I want to be a writer. But for now, bartending keeps a roof over my head. I’m glad to be of help though. Got some inspiration ?”
I nod with a big smile. I finish my drink and slide a few pounds to her.
“Thanks Y/N. I think I should get to it before I lose the lightbulb!”
She nods and waves. Her smile is the last thing I see before I turn my back to her and I’m out the door, heading home.
October 19th, 2017
I storm into the pub, as usual, but this time, I’m not as calm as I usually am.
“Y/N! Y/N, you have to help me! I’m freaking out!”
She raises a brow and sets down her rag as I walk up to the counter.
“Niall? What’s wrong? Why do you look so upset? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your listening party?”
I shake my head and place my hands on the counter,
“I can’t. I’m freaking out! They’re gonna hate it! I’m gonna fail and it’s-.”
She places her hands on my shoulders and it grabs my attention.
“Calm down. You’re gonna do great! Your music is so unique, Niall. No one could be like you. You are one of a kind, Niall Horan. Your fans are going to love your album just as much as they love you. So don’t worry, okay? It’ll be great.”
I let out a sigh and I give her a small smile.
“Would you… Would you come with me? I- I really want you to be there…”
Her eyes widen and her mouth drops.
“A-Are you sure? I don’t want to impose-.”
I smile and shake my head.
“I want you there, Y/N. You’re my friend. Of course I want you there!”
She sighs and I smile, pulling her around the pub and out the door before she can argue.
>>>———————->
August 2018
I’m finally home from tour, or at least back in London, and the first place I go is the pub. As soon as I walk in, Y/N’s eyes train on me immediately. Her eyes light up and she runs through the empty room and pounces on me, hugging me tight.
“Niall! Oh my god! You’re back!”
I smile and nod, hugging her right before pulling away.
“I missed you, Y/N. I really did. Talking on the phone wasn’t enough…”
She looks at me confused and I let out a sigh.
“Y/N… I have feelings for you. I’ve never felt this way before… With anyone. I-I think I love you. A-And I understand if you don’t feel the same but-.”
Before I can say anything else, she cuts me off and surprised me with a kiss. I melt into her touch, pulling her closer to me as our lips move in sync until she finally pulls away with a smile.
“I love you, Niall. I feel the exact same.”
I hug her tight and hold her close, afraid to let go.
>>>——————->
March 22nd, 2020
I hear the front door open as I slump on the couch in the living room of my London home. Y/N comes in, a worried expression on her face.
“Niall…”
I hold my arms open to her and she climbs in my lap, laying her head on my chest. She lays her legs across my lap and I instinctively wrap my arms around her.
“They had to let me go… A-And your album! You were gonna tour with Lewis! A-And now-.”
I let out a small fry as I hold her close, running my fingers through her hair.
“I-I know, Petal. But it’ll be okay… I hope… You’ll move in with me. We’ll quarantine together. That way you can focus on school and you won’t have to look for another job. Okay? Does… Does that sound okay?”
She’s quiet for a minute before she nods against my chest. Things were rough, but at least I had her.
>>>——————->
June 2020
I sit at the piano, agonizingly as I attempt to be productive. Quiet patter of feet echos through the house until I feel someone sit next to me on the bench. Y/N. I turn my attention to her and she runs her fingers through my hair.
“You okay? I could hear you dropping f bombs all the way from our room.”
I sigh and shake my head.
“I-I’m frustrated, Y/N. I’m tired of this… I didn’t get to tour and I just- I don’t know… The most I can do is go live on Instagram… that’s not exactly a concert…”
She kisses my cheek and I sigh again.
“You’ll be able to put in your show, I promise. You’re doing what you can right now and that’s all we can do, babe. It’ll come to you. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’ll be here. Every step.”
I smile and peck her lips.
“I think you saved my life, Y/N. And you do every day.”
She pecks my lips a few times and loops an arm through mine.
“And you saved mine.”
The next day
I find myself back at the piano and for the first time since lockdown started… I feel inspired. Extremely inspired. I want to write a show.
>>>————————->
January 2023
“Please Niall? You said you finished it! I want to listen! I love your music! You know I do!”
I laugh and shake my head as Y/N clings to me with a pout.
“I’m sorry Petal, but I can’t do that. You’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”
She puts more and lets me go, folding her arms across her chest as she slumps on our bed.
“I should write a column on boyfriends keeping secrets from their girlfriends. I’ll get a lot of hits since YOU’RE KEEPING IT A SECRET FROM ME.”
I laugh and shake my head as I take my place next to her on the bed, taking her hand in mine.
“I promise, it will be worth the wait. Can you do that for me, Y/N? Just hold on a little longer. 5 months then it’s all yours.”
She sighs and squeezes my hand, giving me a small smile.
>>>———————->
June 9th, 2023
“Niall, please? It’s the release day! I just want to listen to it! I’ve only heard the bits you’ve teased!”
I laugh and shake my head, taking a seat next to her on the couch as I pull an AirPod out of the case and I place it in her ear.
“You can listen but I want you to listen to this one first. This album… I’m so proud of this one. This is everything I’ve ever wanted to make. And it’s all thanks to you. This is save my life.”
I hit play on my phone and she smiles as it begins to play.
Eyes are bloomin'
The floor is shakin'
Walls are movin'
Feelings changin' now
So, I'm rolling through it
Like I'm floatin' ten feet above the ground
As you float up to me
I just gotta tell you now
Ever since you walked in
I'm seein' a new light
Ever since you walked in
It's startin' to feel like
You might save my life
She tears up as she listens and before it’s over, I pull out the AirPod, much to her protest.
“Niall! I was-.”
I pull her into my arms and place my lips on hers, pecking her lips a few times before I whisper to her.
“You saved my life.”
She smiles and pecks my lips, cuddling up in my arms. I was lost before I met her. But she saved my life.
>>>—————————->
I hope that was okay! Thank you for requesting!!!! Please like and reblog! Let me know what you thought!
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