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someone1348 · 2 years

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This is my way of giving Technoblade a proper send off

I will still continue to write for c!Technoblade if requested and in general but I will no longer be writing for cc!Technoblade out of respect

The news is still so shocking and upsetting but you know what he is fighting God and winning! /lh /j but seriously, he is doing all of the things he has ever wanted to do, he is happy and free and so much more! Technoblade will continue to live on through all of us! his legacy and heart are here to stay forever! Technoblade never dies!

It is more than okay to mourn him, he brought joy to so many people, he saved lives just by being him and playing block game! He is a hero truly so don't feel guilty for having feelings, feel what you need to feel that is absolutely valid! He touched the lives of so many, he will never be forgotten!

I hope this story brings you some sort of joy or peace in this crazy time we are in

The people in this: Ler!Philza, Ler!Wilbur, Ler!Tommy, Ler!Tubbo, Ler!Ranboo and Lee!Technoblade

Tw: none! This is incredibly soft! Also very long lmaoo!

Sit back, relax, take care of yourself and enjoy! We are all in this together!

-K <3

___________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________

5 times Techno was tickled and 1 time when he accepted it!

Philza:

The first time this happened there was an unexpected downpour outside. (Un) fortunately for them the rain was supposed to stay until four in the morning so there was no way anyone was going anywhere anytime soon. With that news Tommy immediately called Tubbo to make sure that he and Ranboo were okay, Wilbur went straight to his room to listen to music and take care of himself which now only left two; Philza and Technoblade.

"I'm making some tea, you want any?" The blondes voice was calm and mixed with this rain Techno could have easily fallen asleep, he shot the winged man a sleepy smile and nod as he grabbed the couch blanket curled up in his chair and listened to mother nature's natrual forces do their thing.

"At least now I won't have to water my crops"

Phil giggled at that statement placing a hot cup of tea down on the coaster next to the piglin hybrid. Techno thanked him before blowing on it and taking a sip. It was a very comforting atmosphere, the smell of the tea, the sounds of the rain hitting the rooftop and the subtle distant voices of his brothers upstairs, it was all so, perfect.

"Getting sleepy tech'" Phil said smiling as the piglin protested.

"Nahhh! Technoblade doesn't get tired"

Phil laughed at this before returning to a comforting tone of voice,

"You can sleep Tech, it's all good, I'll wake you up before dinner"

He protested yet again taking another sip of his tea, Phil was going to insist once more but his speech was intruperted by a now louder giggly Tommyinit who was being wrecked in the hallway, Tubbo probably dared him to piss off will or something. That certainly gave him a great idea though!

"Technooo~" the winged man spoke in a sing song voice before approaching the pinkettes chair.

"Phil your acting strange what's going on?"

"Meee acting strange, I would never! Not to you Techie~"

"I know that nickname! Don't you dare!" Techno was to tired and comfortable to move so he used his voice as a warning but that got him nowhere

Soon enough light wiggling fingers were dancing along his sides through the light blanket that wrapped around his torso

"Nohoho phihihil!"

"What is it Techie, why are you so giggly hmm? you were tired just a second ago!"

"Dohohon't play duhuhumb with me Phil you're tihihickling me!"

"Me?! Tickle you! I would never!~" His hands found their way underneath the blanket now fully scribbling all over his now exposed sides from his shirt sliding up a bit due to the wiggling

"Nohohot Fahahair phihihilzaa!"

"I think it's plenty fair, you're sleepy but refuse to sleep, there's only one way to get a sleepy head to actually go to sleep and that's with tickles!" The blonde moved his tickly fingers up to his oldest (by 5 minutes!) Son's ribs; at that moment both Tommy's and Technos giggly shrieks were in-sync it was crazy!

"NOHOHOHO PHIHIHIHILZAA!! PLEAHAHAHASE!!" Techno sunck down into the recliner chair wiggling so much that the blanket fell off him

Phil smiled at the sight before kneeling down and placing a big raspberry to the right side of his ribs, still lightly tickling the left set as he held him close for a grand finale!

"PHIHIHIHILL! HAHAHAHA!"

"Tickle Tickle Technobladee!~"

"OKAHAHAY! YOHOHOU WIHIN!"

And with that Philza let him go, rubbing away the ghost tickles and ruffling his pink locks before tucking him back in with the blanket and letting him rest

"Sleep well Tech"

"M'night"

"Goodnight son"

Phil soon made his way upstairs to tell his other sons to take it in one of their rooms and keep it down so Techno can nap!

Tommy:

Tommy had been waiting for this day since the beginning of time! Techno was finally going to train with him! Show him how to fight like he does and just all around be awesome!!!

Tommy has looked up to his eldest brother ever since he was just a baby! He was so beyond ready for this day and nothing was going to get in his way!

Well,,, nothing except his overwhelming urge to cause mischief

Tommy cursed to himself and his impulse control, he couldn't help ittt! It has been soooo long since he had any chance to spend any one on one time with him let alone train together! He was just so excited!

Tommy was quite literally bouncing off the walls as he waited for his oldest brother in the backyard.

"I'm here Tommy!"

"TECHNOBLADEEEE!!! YOU READY TO LOSE!"

"You don't stand a chance Tommy!"

Techo put on his helmet and got his things prepared while Tommy did the same, he really really wanted to spar him, he really did but he just couldn't! He was too excited!!

While Techno's gaurd was down he leapt up onto the piglin hybrids back with a battle cry

"HA HA! I WIN!" Tommy exclaimed as Techno wobbled quickly regaining his balance holding both him and the child up

"One point for stealth but other than that I win"

"That's where you're wrong my friend!"

Right as Tommy said that he scribbled his tickly fingers all over Techno's neck giving his older brother no time to react or prepare.

"Tohohommyy! You're gohohonna' make us both fahall"

"But you're the big strong and mighty Technoblade! You won't drop us both over some measly little tickles would you?~"

Tommy teased him as Techno tried growling through his giggles

"Ohohoff course not!" Techno smirked a bit spinning around to throw Tommy off his rhythm!

"Tehehech!"

Techo smiled, stopping as Tommy giggled looking his brother in the eyes, "wrong move! Techno!" The smirk now fully formed on his face as he dug his tickly fingers under Techno's arms sending him down laughing within minutes!

Techo of course not wanting to hurt his younger brother fell to his knees so Tommy goes forward if anything, once the pair was on the ground Tommy got off of him moving down to tickle his ribs

"TOHOHOMMYY!!" the piglin hybrid fell backwards onto the youngers legs

"Hehe gotcha Technoo~ Tickletickletickletickle!"

"TOHOHOMMYY PLEAHAHAHASE"

"You're so adorable! You've got the best laugh Tech! It's wonderful"

"THaHAaHank YOHOu!! TohohOHOMMY!! PLeEAHAhaHaSeE!!"

"Okay okay! I'm done!"

"Ready to spar for real?"

"Brihing it on!"

Tommy got up into a fighting stance with a huge smile on his face

'I'll get my revenge later'

"Left! good job Tommy!!!"

Tubbo:

Tubbo and Tommy were a lot younger when this happened. Wilbur and Techno were supposed to watch the pair today seeing as Phil was away and the two were already hanging out. He should be home tonight but the twins didn't complain, they love their younger brother and his best friend!

Most of the time it was really easy watching them but today seemed to be different. Tommy had his full attention on Wilbur and likewise Wilbur was fully focused on Tommy and with that Tubbo was just alone in a corner, watching.

Seeing the situation there was no way Tech was going to let the kiddo feel lonely so he walked over to the bee boy, getting down to his level and asked him if he wanted to play.

Excitedly of course the brunette shook his head up and down, Techno watched in delight as his bangs flopped all over the place.

Smiling he picked the kid up and took him to his room. He'll scold his siblings later, Tubbo is more important right now. He let the kid play with his plastic swords, gave him pointers and all around made sure Tubbo had fun.

"Swoosh! Take that!" He poked Techno's ribs with the dull sword as Techno fell to the ground giggling

"Ohoh no! You gohot me! Blehh!" Techno fell over and played dead smiling through the process as the younger cheered and danced around him.

"Hehe I win!!!"

Techo decided to lay there a little longer and see what happens, his patience quickly rewarded him as he heard the kid speak again and shake him lightly

"Techno?"

"Technooo!"

"Are you alive, oh geez I killed him, Phil's going to be so mad!"

"Techn-AHH!" Techno then scooped the kid back up into his arms watching him giggle

"Im aliveee!!"

Once Tubbo's giggles settled he lightly smacked Techno's arm glaring at him in a playful manner,

"That wasn't nice!"

Techo laughed at that ruffling his hair "Admit it you had fun"

"Hmmm no!" Tubbo without warning wiggled his fingers against Techno's ribs

"KiHiIhHID!! NOhOOHoHoT FAhaHAIR!" Techno fell back down again holding Tubbo close as the brunette giggled evilly moving up under his arms.

"WAHAhahait! TUHUhuhuBHOHO!"

"Hehehe gotcha Techno! I winn!!"

The pinkette scribbled along the smaller ones sides as Tubbo halted his tickles

"Wahahait!!"

"Tihie?" Techno suggested stopping

"Noho I win!"

"Alright Alright you win!" He ruffled his hair once more before letting him go

"TUBBOO! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"UP HERE TOMMY!!"

Kids

Ranboo:

"Listen if I'm the main character and you're my sensei that means you gotta train me!"

The half and half man said looking towards the pinkette for advice.

"Ranboo you're the main character you don't need my help, you'll pick it up fast you're the main character!"

"Technooo thats your jobbb to help me! Come on! What are you, scared? Hmm? Too scared to help me? Thinking maybe I could hmmm I don't know; surpass you?~"

Technoblade squinted his eyes shooting the enderman hybrid a deadpanned face before smirking and tossing his pink locks back into a ponytail

"Surpass ME? Ha! Good luck trying kid!"

The smirk was reciprocated onto Ranboo's face as he got into a fighting stance, both of them knew who would win but little did Techno knew that Ranboo had a few tricks up his sleeve!

"Bring it on!"

Techno charged at him as the younger screamed slightly before dodging and squeezing his ribs behind him with no time to react

"AH! HAHA-"

Ranboo smiled brightly as his plan worked, he continued to wiggle his tickly fingers up and down the length of his ribs,

"RAHAHANBOO!!"

"Hmmm sorry? Was was that, couldn't hear you over your laughter and the sound of me WINNING!"

The bright smile slowly turned into a smirk as he continued on Techno's tickle spot, holding him close in the process.

"YOHOHOU TRIHIHICKED MEHEHE!"

"I learn from the best!"

"RAHAhahANBOo! I sWEHAHeAR!!"

"What's your sensei can't handle a few tickles?~" oh he was so dead later for this

"AHAHALRIGHT THAHahaHAT'S IHIT!" Techno mustered up enough strength to wiggle free from his grasp and catch his breath while facing him

"Uh oh,,"

"Yeah uh oh, let me show you how it's done young one"

"AH!-"

"You wanted a lesson now you got one!~"

"NAHAHAHAAHA!"

All:

Techno had just came home from a long and tiring mission, he was greeted kindly at the door with 4 smiling facing

"Technooo!!"

"Welcome home mate"

"Welcome back techno!!"

"TECHNOBLADEEEE!!"

The piglin hybrid weakly smiled saying "helllooo" as he took off his shoes and coat at the door.

The air around the house was nice and warm, the smell of freshly baked pumpkin pie filled the room as well, it was so comforting.

"Sit down mate you've been out for so long, take it easy"

Techno nodded and took his place on the couch, the kids; Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo not to far behind, surrounding the piglin hybrid with Tubbo on his left side, Tommy on his right and Ranboo on the floor right next to his legs.

"Welcome home Techno"

"Thank you, thank you"

"How was the mission?" Tubbo asked smiling at the eldest brother

"Would a massage help mate?"

"Good just long"

"Oooo good thinking Dadza!"

"Im not opposed"

The comforting pressure from Phil on his shoulders felt great, Ranboo worked on his legs as well and everything felt great! It was very much well needed, that was until Philza got a little too close to his neck causing Techno to scrunch up a little bit and softly giggle,

This did not go unnoticed, everyone caught on, giving each other the look. Philza "accidentally" would scribble quickly up the sides of his neck while Ranboo "accidentally" scribbled under his knees every now and again, getting the piglin hybrids giggles to speed up until he was full on giggling.

"Guhuhuhuys"

"What's up Techno? Why are you so giggly, it's only a massage king" Tommy said joining in and lightly tickling his right side, Tubbo soon copied

"Yeah what's wrong giggleblade, too ticklish for a massage?~"

Techno was too tired to respond, he just accepted it and let himself giggle freely

Ranboo was doing the same pinching gently all over his ticklish legs

"Tickle Tickle tickleee"

"Welcome home Tech!" Philza said wiggling his tickly fingers all over his neck and under his chin

"Thahahank yohohohou!"

"Anytime Technoblade Anytime!" The group said in unison as they halted their tickles and held him close.

It was good to be home again

--------------------------------------------------

I hope you all enjoyed! This was probably my longest one ever! I did like mini fics I guess you would call it! It's a different format than what I usually do but I hope you all enjoyed! Take care of yourselves! Drink some water and relax! All the love my friends! /p /pos /gen

-K <3

#mcyt tickle #k writes tk things #lee!technoblade #ler!philza #ler!philzaminecraft #ler!tommy #ler!tommyinnit #ler!tubbo #ler!ranboo #rest easy technoblade #dream smp tickle #dreamsmp tickle fic

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merluvlee-sims2 · 1 year

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Pleasantview - Burb: Prologue #4

Jennifer got to the coffee shop exactly on time, and nervously looked around for Melissa.

15 minutes went by, and still no sign of her new friend.

Where are they? She wouldn't ask me to meet here if she wasn't coming, right?

30 minutes went by, and Jennifer was still alone in the coffee shop.

And then she heard them.

"Hey! Nice dress. Sorry I'm late. My photoshoot went over."

Jennifer giggled. "No worries. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

She felt so happy to be with Melissa again, that the stress of having to wait an extra 30 minutes to see her friend dissipated.

"Aren't you gonna have coffee?"

Jennifer shrugged, "If I have coffee after 12pm, then I'll be a ball of anxiety all night long."

Melissa chuckled, "Seems like you're a ball of anxiety most of the time."

"Excuse me—"

She couldn't argue with them, though. She truly was anxious most of the time. If it weren't for her anxiety and fear of failure, Jennifer would never get anything done.

"Let's change the subject, please!" Jennifer giggled. She didn't usually giggle this much. Normally, she was pretty straight-laced. I suppose Melissa brings out a more fun side of me...

"Alright," said Melissa, "What brings you to Pleasantview?"

Jennifer took a deep breath. How was she supposed to explain her and John's five-year plan that she was only halfheartedly following along with because she didn't know what else to do with herself?

How could she tell someone who was nearly a stranger that she had hoped that moving here would make her into the person she always wanted to be, but that turned out to be a stupid pipe dream?

But before she had to answer, a random person sat down right next to her and Melissa. Even though they saved Jennifer the awkwardness of having to answer that question, she still felt annoyed that someone else was intruding on her time with Melissa.

"Hey, I just wanted to say that you and your girlfriend are really cute together. And uh—if you're ever looking for a unicorn, feel free to hit me up."

"Excuse me??" Jennifer was completely shocked. "We're not—I mean—I—I'm married!"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your ring. Okay, so you and your wife—"

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," said Melissa, and disappeared in an instant.

As soon as Melissa stood up, Angela sat down in her place.

"Hi, Aunt Jennifer. Didn't expect to see you here."

"Oh, Watchers," thought Jennifer, "now my niece has to witness my public embarrassment..."

"What's your name?" she asked the intrusive stranger.

"Tina."

"Tina. Meet my niece, Angela."

Finally, Melissa came back from the bathroom, and Jennifer could politely escape that awkward situation.

"Wanna get outta here? There's a cool jewelry store nearby."

The jewelry store was much more relaxing than the chaotic coffee shop. This place was more up Jennifer's alley. She browsed the entire shop until the sun went down, chatting with Melissa the entire time.

Melissa was so easy to talk to. Jennifer felt like she had known them for ages, which was strange, because she had always thought of herself as a pretty guarded person.

Finally, Jennifer settled on a classic pair of small gold hoop earrings.

"Those earrings are so beautiful on you. You look gorgeous."

Jennifer blushed. The entire time they were in the jewelry store, she kept thinking about how Tina had assumed they were partners.

What if we were...?

She was grateful when Melissa offered to walk her to her car, as it was late and the parking lot was almost empty.

She was also slightly embarrassed of her "soccer mom" van that John had convinced her to buy when they first got married. He wanted to fill it up with kids, but she still didn't know if she could give him that.

"Well—" Melissa interrupted her reverie.

She grabbed Jennifer's hand, and once again, Jennifer was shocked by how soft her skin felt.

"I know you're married and everything, but I would regret it forever if I didn't try this—"

Jennifer couldn't believe what was happening—Melissa kissed her and she kissed them back, and now they were making out in front of her van like a couple of teenagers. Kissing her felt so...right, in a way that kissing men never did.

Jennifer felt as though a hidden door in her heart had been opened, and she was simultaneously amazed and terrified.

#ts2 #sims 2 #pleasantview #sims 2 premades #jennifer burb #melissa fancey

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messiambrandybuck · 3 years

Text

Comfort

Word Count : 1,175

Pairing : The Hobbits x Male Human Reader (platonic)

Warnings : Coping with Death

Author's Note : This is set in the scenario that The Fellowship stayed together after Boromir's death. Please feel free to let me know if any other warnings are needed; requested by Anon.

This is probably going to be shite, as it's definitely not my best work; but I do hope you enjoy it lol.

A small shuffle of cloth sounds behind (Y/n) as he keeps watch, and he turns around to see two sleepy little Hobbits wrapped up in blankets, hair messier than usual.

"What're you doing up, Frodo? Sam?" (Y/n) says softly, noticing the way their eyes drooped with exhaustion.

"Can't sleep," Frodo mumbles, "can we stay with you?"

"You're very comfortable," Sam agrees, slurring slightly.

"Of course, come here."

Frodo pulls his blanket tighter around himself as they curl up under the younger's arms, against the warmth of his sides. He runs his fingers through their soft curls, and Sam lets out a content sigh as they both visibly relax. (Y/n) can't help but smile to himself at this, finding peace in their content; but as they fall asleep, it fades into a darker feeling that he was all too aware of during the night.

These Hobbits, they were too young to be in such constant danger. Frodo was the only one among them significantly past the age where they were considered adults, Sam and Merry only a few short years past that mark. And Pippin, the poor lad, hadn't even reached that age yet; he wouldn't for a good few years.

Yet here they were, a group of young boys thrown in the chaos of what would undoubtedly become a war. Day after day, forced to fight and live with horrors that no one should have to face. He promised them that he would keep them safe, in one of the first nights after departure, but sometimes he wondered: could he keep that promise? With such evils searching for them day and night, he felt his confidence deteriorate whenever the company paid him no attention. His body ached with healing wounds originally meant for the Hobbits, and his heart broke at the thought that one day he might not be able to get to them in time.

Frodo shifts in his sleep with the start of a nightmare, and (Y/n) quietly hushes him, gently stroking his cheek until he stills. Instinctively, Sam reached out for the older in his sleep; the need to protect Frodo inscribed deep into his subconscious. With reassuring whispers, (Y/n) guided the young Hobbit back into his peaceful sleep. There was no need for him to worry.

Since the start of this quest, he had become very close to these Hobbits, each of them holding a very special place in his heart. They managed to make everyone in the company smile with their bright nature, despite everything happening, and he admired them deeply for it. However, he wasn't ignorant; he knew it was taking its toll on them. He saw it every day.

He saw it in the way Merry didn't attempt to pull pranks anymore. The way Pippin would stare off into space for vast amounts of time, his eyes blank and void of light. He saw it in the way poor Samwise put too much responsibility on his shoulders. He saw it every time Frodo touched the ring without even realizing.

He tried his best to keep their spirits up; surprising them with special meals if he managed to scavenge enough, playing with them, even singing them to sleep if they requested so. (Y/n) liked to imagine it helped, but he didn't truly believe so.

"Bor... Boromir!"

Looking back at the camp, he saw Pippin tossing around, Boromir's name slipping past his lips so painfully that his sorrow was almost tangible.

Carefully moving Frodo and Sam so they lay on the ground as comfortably as possible, (Y/n) quickly made his way to the youngest's side, combing his fingers through the Hobbit's golden curls. His breathing was rapid now, forehead slick with sweat, and his face contorted in an expression of terrible pain and fear.

"Boromir!"

Softly hushing the young Hobbit, (Y/n) carefully pulls him into his embrace. "It's okay, Pippin, it's okay. It's over now, they can't get you."

Tears slip through his shut eyes, "Save- Save him! Save him! Boromir no!"

"It's all over now," (Y/n) says helplessly, his own eyes pooling with tears as his heart broke. Ever since Boromir died, it was all the hobbit ever dreamed about; one night he'd be begging to be rescued, the next he'd cry out for their fallen friend.

A whimper makes its way out of the blond's throat, and the man continued to whisper small reassurances to him, rocking them both slightly as he held Pippin close. The younger held onto his shirt as if letting go would mean the end of him, sobs violently tearing through his body. (Y/n) couldn't tell how long Pippin cried, for it felt like hours to him, but eventually, he grew too exhausted to make another noise. He fell asleep, mentally and physically exhausted from the force of his sorrow.

After putting the youngest back under his covers, (Y/n) walks to the edge of camp to resume his watch, away from the others. Resting against the trunk of a large tree, he took a deep breath, trying to force back his tears. He held back on grieving this long, if he started now it would surely wake someone up.

Soft steps walk up next to him. "Is Pip going to be okay?"

He looks over to see Merry staring at him with sleepy concern, and looks away in an attempt to hide the few tears that had managed to escape. "Despite common belief, the deepest wound cannot be healed, not even with time. It's always going to hurt, but one day he'll be able to coexist with the pain. We all will."

There was a small moment of silence, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be just fine, Merry," he says, though his voice wavers, "go on back to bed. We're planning on covering a lot of ground in the morning, and you need your rest."

Merry walks around so he was almost in front of the older, and holds his cheek. "You're allowed to be sad, too, (Y/n)." Merry says softly, "You don't have to be strong for us. Let us be strong for you once and a while."

The young Hobbit's words hit somewhere feel inside him, and a wave of silent tears flowed down his cheeks. Leaning against the tree, Merry guides (Y/n)'s head to his shoulder, where the man silently cried. The younger didn't say anything, only carding his fingers through (Y/n)'s hair as he always did with them, and occasionally gave the nape of his neck a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry," the older manages to mumble out, only to be quieted with a small hush.

"Don't be... You have the right to grieve."

(Y/n) never imagined he would allow himself to be this vulnerable around the Hobbits, even if it was just one. He wanted to be the strong one they could count on without hesitation. And yet he needed this. He needed to be able to confide in the ones he cared for, and he felt the bond he had with them grow now that he had taken this next step.

#frodo #frodo baggins #merry #meriadoc brandybuck #pippin #pippin took #peregrin took #sam #samwise gamgee #bit of hurt #mostly comfort #fellowship x reader #hobbits x reader #platonic #aidan's works #ah this was probably shite but that's fine

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dreamiesdotcom · 3 years

Text

celestial | h.rj

Summary: To attribute full sight and still have the ability to describe things to someone who's never seen them means that you've felt the world deeper than anybody else.

Word count: 2164

a/n: idk whats up with me and midnights

Renjun's first question goes like this: "What does the pool look like?"

Naturally, Jeno panics; how do you explain a pool to someone who's never seen it? He's been so used to seeing it on a daily that he didn't even pay mind to the details. He debates on describing a rectangle, and then describing the waters, and then whatever the hell his 12-year-old mind could come up with. Naturally, he fails.

For him, you saved everything that day. You grabbed Renjun's hand, intertwining your fingers before grazing the water. "Do you feel that?"

"What exactly am I supposed to feel?"

"The water. Do you feel that constant flow and the relaxing cold?" you laughed then, patient even for the moody boy. He huffs out his cheeks and nods, you let go of his hands. "That's blue, Renjun. The water reflects the sky, and a pool is like a little ocean. An ocean is like a world filled with blue."

He tries to think of it, vast and endless fields of freedom. He couldn't, though; all he's known about the sky is that it was blue, and that blue is associated with sadness. He takes advantage of the fact that someone's willing to answer his question, and he asks again, "Is it scary?"

"Mhm, for some, it is. I'll let you in a secret, come here." You nod, and then he tilts his head to the side. He hears a splash, and doesn't expect it once he hears your voice after — "I'm actually scared of swimming pools."

"Didn't you just go in?"

"No, that was Jeno. I'm here." You poked a finger on his left arm, and he could tell you're wearing that cheeky grin. His stance softens. "I'm just beside you."

###

It was morning, the sun was shining and the scorching summer heat was kinder than everyone expected it to be. Somewhere around the room, Chenle and Jisung successfully trapped a sleeping Jaemin in a domino prison, Jeno's trying to convince them why this is such a bad idea and Mark is getting scolded by Hyuck. The TV fades to background noise, the plan of cooking extra pancakes long forgotten. Renjun leans his head on your shoulders, "What does the night look like?"

It felt like an odd question to ask as the sun is halfway to its peak, but Renjun's curiosity piques in no time. You hum for a bit to think, "The night is very different to a lot of people."

Very different for a lot of people... yeah, many things in the world are like that. He figured it out years ago when you told him about the swimming pools, and the airplanes, and the rollercoasters. He figured it out when you talked to him about books, when you taught him about colors, about shapes.

He still doesn't know what different looks like, and what importance it holds.

"Hyuck loves the night. You hear his laughter, right? He likes going on adventures and feeling the wind. I think, to him, the night looks like a harsh passing of the breeze you felt when we went out on a drive." He takes in your words. These days, he gets better with understanding metaphors — he learned that blue is not just a shade of sadness, and that sky doesn't always mean blue — he understands your words better. "But me... I just sleep. I don't like the night very much."

"Huh?"

"Have you ever been in a silent place, Jun?" you asked softly. "Not the silence you can fill with music. I'm talking about blank, emotionless silence; the one that echoes. The one that haunts you. The one that makes you feel alone. That's what the night looks like for me."

Renjun wanted to nod, and he wanted to say yes because he's been in that silent place for the longest time. It's all he's ever known, and it's all that he's ever seen; it's the only thing he sees — black, echoing, loud nothingness.

He didn't, though.

Instead, he asks a question, "What do you think about the night?"

"I think it's a question." comes quickly in a reply. "I still don't know how a nightmare town gives life to dreamers, but it does. It's a question I do not want to know the answer to."

Renjun knows of the stars and the sky, and you'd tried to explain their light by telling him what blinding comfort was — think of all your loneliest moments being washed away by the fire I told you about, and that's pretty much it, 'jun — and he knows of the big, gazing moon that changes shape now and then. It's what makes up most of the night, Jeno had said, so he knows that too.

What he doesn't know is why it seems so vicious to you, and what he doesn't know is that if he could see, would he have chosen to close his eyes to not witness such complex sadness.

###

It's at times like this when solace blooms in his heart. The rest of the world seems to be fast asleep, but he's so awake, so aware, so alive. You sit beside him, yet again brought him to the place you and Jaemin frequents in, and he ignores the jealous feeling in his chest. It's at times like this that Renjun realizes he's falling.

"Your smile must look beautiful," he wonders out loud. "Can you please tell me how your smile looks like?"

"Me?" You replied nonchalantly. Your chuckle passes as cold as the night breeze, and he wonders how the poet would write themselves as poetry. The blankness of your words dulls the hope in his eyes, "I... don't like it. My eyes... they always look tired. I always look tired. I hate myself."

For a moment, he dwells on his thoughts — Jaemin's brought you here, and you're more frequent here together, and he's seen how you looked against the glimmering stars. Did he fall in love? Did he want to keep you all to himself, like a little secret? Did he want to kiss you until all spite of yourself vanishes from your soul? Jaemin must've, Renjun knows. He knows because even blind, he's aware of how beautiful you truly are; not only he's heard it from his friends, but he feels it strongly. He couldn't see the city lights that he's heard of so many times, but he knows you shine brighter than them.

Hell, he couldn't even see you — he couldn't even see anything, but he knows you do. He knows you are. You think he's wrong, that he's more gorgeous, but he reaches for your hands.

He doesn't know what beautiful looks like. He just knows that it's breath-taking, soul-stealing, ethereal, and you.

"I think you smile like euphoria. I think you smile like the sound of music boxes, those with lovely tunes," he says, eyes closed and breathing fast. "I think... "

'I love you.' oh, how he wished it's easy to say those words. He purses his lips. "...you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, right next to my mother."

Beside him, you chuckled and held his hands. "You're sleepy."

"I am. Right now, I'm sleepy and I know you're beautiful." He squeezes your hands, looking at the direction he knows you're at. He lets out a shaky smile, "Tomorrow, I will be wide awake and I'd still think you're stunning."

It's at times like this that Renjun realizes he's falling. It's at times like this that he fears how much he can't wait to crash.

###

Renjun's biggest fear among many is that he'll never feel like this again.

He fell too hard. He fell too quickly and too harshly and he's only noticing it now when the impact makes itself known and he couldn't stand up. He knew that he was scared, he knew that he was afraid then, but only now did he know what it truly meant to be terrified; when he's sitting beside you on the roof, feeling the wind pass by, and he couldn't help but wonder what if it's not us, but I can never love the person meant for me because they're not you?

It's a silly thing, maybe. He did not believe in many things and fate is not one of the few he believed in. He thinks that love is something you choose for yourself — it's something you decide on your own. He thinks that the only problem in 'not being made for each other' is that you relied too much on what the stars wrote, and didn't write your story on your own. What even are these stars, aside from unknown giant speckles of light? Why should they decide someone's life?

He adores them, he knows, and now he can't help his curiosity: "How do the stars look like tonight?"

"They're bright. Very bright."

He swoons at the content sigh you let out before speaking, and he lets himself indulge. It's at moments like this when he lets himself feel, where he relishes in the adoration he nestles.

"They ought to be," he whispers to himself. "They gotta be bright if they're trying to outshine you."

Giggles fades to laughter, and genuine words burn forced. He could almost taste the bitterness of your words, "You haven't seen me."

Does he need to?

"I don't need to," he concludes. "There's so much more to you than what I couldn't see."

Because it's true. All those years you held this something in you, a piece of an old soul and an unknown heavenly something you ignored just so you could spite yourself. You had this way with words, this certain understanding of the world that he's never found in someone else. Renjun thinks that to attribute full sight and still have the ability to describe things to someone who's never seen them means that you've felt the world deeper than anybody else, and to know that the world is cruel but still choose to keep your eyes open is something that should be admired.

Right now, you're the closest to him you've ever been, and he bathes in the feeling of your lips hovering above his.

"I'm a mess, Huang Renjun."

"You're an art in progress," he whispers back, eyes fluttering shut as you close what little distance you have left. "But even half-made, you're a masterpiece."

###

If somebody asked Renjun if he ever saw this coming, he'd say "Why the fuck would you even ask me that question?"

Alright, jokes aside, never in his mind did he think life would turn out this way. First of all, a lot of unexpected things have already happened, but he's stubborn so of course, that doesn't convince him. He should've felt it coming, but of course, he refused to. After all, why would he even think of his best friend laying beside him on his bed, talking about random things all night in every way domestic? Why would he even think of you two being together, whispering sweet nothings to each other? He's guilty of doing those, yes, but that doesn't mean that he knows the answer. In a spur of the moment decision, he asks another question — "Why'd you choose me?"

"You're the only one who wanted me—IT'S A JOKE! Hey, hey, I was only kidding," you laugh, finding so many things entertaining about the fact that he's unamused. He preens at the soft kiss you placed on the edge of his lips, and then even more when you whisper, "You're the only one I wanted."

Normally, this is where his heart would do those weird flips and antics. This is the time where he'd feel like he's in another world, like he's invincible and oh so lucky to be thoroughly adored by the person he loves so much.

It's only that sometimes, Renjun feels unreasonable. He's sensitive and insecure and it's so much easier to find flaws in himself than to appreciate the things that made him who he is. Sometimes, he needs to ask some things he's not exactly sure of, things much like: "Even with... even with my eyes... like this?"

And it's you, and it's never dull when it's with you, everything is always beautiful and poetic. He doesn't know where that voice was coming from, but he hears it in his mind, and it tells him to trust you.

A butterfly kiss on each of his eyelids. A hand warm on the top of his hands. The rain pours heavily outside but it's muffled enough that it's calming, and all that he can think of is warm, so warm, so loved. You hold your foreheads close and keep them close for seconds, before you press a soft kiss on his lips, "Your eyes are beautiful, my love."

And for once, Renjun's not afraid to ask — "How do they look like?"

Beautiful and so much more.

"As if something straight out of a magical dream, because you are. You are magical," you whisper, breathing in slow intervals. "You are the closest to celestial a human could be."

#nct dream #nct dream drabbles #nct dream blurbs #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream one shots #nct dream fluff #renjun #renjun drabbles #renjun scenarios #renjun blurbs #renjun timestamps #renjun angst #renjun fluff #renjun imagines #blind!renjun

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waywardfangirl · 3 years

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For the fantastic @fight-surrender: You are a wonderful person with a brilliant mind and a kind heart, and I am so happy to know you! I really enjoyed the prompts you suggested for the Secret Snowflake exchange this year, so to give you something fluffy and happy for your birthday I combined a few of them into one sweet and silly fic - I hope that you like it! 🖤

A big thank you goes out to @carryonvisinata for her wonderful beta work and for making this fic even better for such an incredible friend 🖤 Purr-fect Strangers

Rated: General Audiences Word Count: 3208 Chapters: 1/1 Simon

"Die Hard? Really?"

I'm struggling to make the Redbox give me my DVD. Video vending machines sounded like a good idea when I couldn't find anywhere to stream my favorite movie, but the obstinate thing in front of me and the condescending voice behind me are now making me reconsider my choices.

"What's wrong with Die Hard?" I demand, momentarily giving up on retrieving my video to take some of my frustration out on the prick watching me.

Unfortunately, when I turn around to scowl at him, I make eye contact with one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. He's tall, with dark hair escaping the bun on top of his head and falling around his face, and a perfectly tailored suit hugging every inch of his body right on down to his shiny Chelsea boots. My brain shorts out, and he sneers at me.

"There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. But you have a near unlimited assortment of cinema to choose from, and you've selected Die Hard?"

(Read the rest on ao3, or keep reading here)

I scoff.

"Look, mate, some of us don't feel the need to watch pretentious films just to feel better than other people. I like Die Hard. I'm going to watch it while eating pizza and relaxing in joggers, and I refuse to feel bad about enjoying that."

He looks a bit startled, and his cheeks take on a slightly pink tinge, but he just arches an eyebrow at me. (And manages to make that look unfairly hot too, the prat.)

"What movie are you renting?" I say it like a challenge, and he pushes past me.

He deftly removes my DVD from the stubborn machine and thrusts it at me, before turning back around to get his own. I loiter behind him, just like he did to me, ready to see what movie he thinks is better than Die Hard.

"Two Weeks Notice?" I exclaim, when I see the poster pop up on the screen. "You're ridiculing Die Hard, but getting a rom-com for yourself? Unbelievable."

He pushes past me and turns up his nose. My blood boils for so many different reasons, and it's work to hold myself still.

"This has Hugh Grant in it. My tastes are superior."

Then he swans off, and I'm left standing on the kerb.

Baz

A year into my time at university, I started treating myself to a monthly visit to Sephora. It was easily excusable then, with parties every weekend to justify each new purchase, but I've kept up the tradition since graduating. (Retail therapy and good skin care never hurt anyone. And a little eyeliner does wonders for one's self esteem.)

This month, I'm browsing for something sparkly. My eyes are grey, but with a dark, glittery liner I think they might stand out a little more. I'm just testing one of the pencils on the back of my hand when I see him.

Blond hair, plain blue eyes, and a constellation of freckles and moles across his skin. The most lovely man I have ever seen, with the worst taste in movies, and (I'm sure) a well-deserved hatred for me.

For all that I try to appear cool and confident, my facade sometimes fails me. When I get flustered, I become cruel. The man renting Die Hard was so pretty that all I could do was insult him and then curse myself for it the entire way home. I couldn't even properly enjoy Hugh Grant, as mired as I was in self-loathing. And now, whatever second chance to impress him I've been granted with has surely been ruined by my actions last time.

I keep my head down and steal glances at him through my eyelashes.

He is entirely out of his element, that much is obvious right away. I watch him ask one of the shop assistants for help, and she points him in the direction of a display. His brow furrows as he picks up different containers, and he’s ridiculously precious and hopeless as he holds a lipstick tube next to a garish eyeshadow palette and closes one eye to look at them. (What is he even doing?)

Finally, his confusion seems to win out, and he turns to look around for help, when he suddenly spots me. I've been caught out; I can't pretend now like I haven't been staring, and he scowls a little as we make eye contact. I arch an eyebrow, watch as his face grows pink in anger, and decide I hate myself enough to try talking to him again.

"That's really not your shade."

"What?" It's a simple word, horribly enunciated, and does nothing to quell the wrinkle between his eyes.

"The purple. I don't think it would flatter you. Furthermore, that lipstick clashes horribly with every color in that palette."

He turns a bright red and starts to splutter. I am hopelessly endeared.

"That's not- I, I don't- it isn't-"

"Oh, calm down, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup," I say, flashing him the back of my hand with the eyeliner tests on it. "You just need to pick a better shade." I pluck a different palette (for blue eyes) and a lipstick in a true red from the display and hand them over. "Something like this."

He stares at them dumbly for a moment, his mouth hanging open. (Mouth breather.)

"You think I should wear this?"

"I think it would flatter you if you chose to wear makeup. That purple will do you no favors." I sneer at the garish eyeshadow still in his hand.

"It's for my friend!" he finally bursts out.

"Are you mad at her?" It's a reasonable question, that eyeshadow is truly appalling.

"No? It's her birthday next week, and she said that she wanted to have some makeup for date nights and things."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" No hesitation at all. "No, no way. Penny is like my sister. She's my best friend. We're not…" he trails off, and I'm strangely reassured. He still probably hates me, but at least there is one woman in the world that he’s not dating, so my odds have improved marginally.

"Don't get your pants in a twist. I just thought you might be, since that eyeshadow would certainly drive away her current boyfriend."

He sticks out his chin and seems to decide something.

"Fine. What should I get for her, then?" The “if you know so much” is left unsaid.

I'm not really an expert, despite my monthly purchases, but I'll take any excuse I can get to linger around this starburst of a boy for a few moments more.

"Does she wear makeup normally?" He shakes his head no. "Then perhaps start with something more subtle for her." I take the offending palette away and hand him a more subdued one, with a faint shimmer. "Do you think this would look nice on her?"

He thinks hard for a moment, then pulls out his phone, swiping at the lock screen and turning it to face me.

"This is her."

His home screen background is a picture of the two of them, cheeks pressed together and grinning like crazy under the summer sun. His curls are being tossed by the wind, and he looks like a bronze Adonis. I think my heart actually skips a beat at the sight.

"That palette will be fine then. This lipstick, too," I add, handing him a plum shade. "Do you need anything else?" I ask, and then cringe when I sound like I'm working instead of flirting.

He shakes his head.

"No, this is brilliant, thanks."

He still looks a bit confused, and he bites his lip as he looks down at the makeup in his hand - the makeup for his friend, and the things I picked out for him.

I don't want to go, but I can't figure out any way to prolong our conversation.

"You should get that one," he says, pointing to one of the lines on my hand. I raise an eyebrow in question. He's right, but what does this mean? Is he flirting? Does he want me to wear eyeliner? Is he just trying to repay me for helping him? "Yeah. Definitely that one."

He raps his knuckles on the counter beside us twice, and then wanders towards the check out.

It's not until I'm trying to fall asleep that I realize - he bought the makeup for himself too.

Simon

One of my foster fathers had a workshop, and I spent a happy summer watching him build a table and matching chairs for the dining room. I didn't get to stay to see it completed, because one of his biological children kept stealing money out of his mom's purse and blaming me, but I still enjoyed the time I had spent watching woodworking. I liked it so much that when Penny and I graduated and got a flat together, I saved up to buy a few tools. I don't make anything major, but I've built small shelves and a side table and a pan organizer for the flat, and I really like it.

Recently, Penny has been complaining about not being able to reach everything in the kitchen, so while she's still at work I stop by the B&Q to pick up some wood for a step stool. I'm heading to the check out when I see him - the mean makeup guy. (Although he was actually quite nice when we were talking about makeup. He was just rude when we were getting our movies.)

He's dressed casually today, in tight dark jeans and a warm grey sweater, with his hair falling in loose waves around his face. He's glaring down at two wrenches, and I hate that he still looks so good when he's glowering.

Before I even register what's happening, my feet have carried me over to him.

"D'ya need help?"

He startles, and turns lovely grey eyes up to look at me. It's work not to gasp. He’s wearing eyeliner. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may even be the eyeliner I told him to buy.

"The sink in my kitchen is leaking. I watched a tutorial on YouTube, and it should be easy enough to fix, but I don't have the proper tools."

He goes back to glaring at the wrenches, and I lean over to take a look.

“You want that one.”

“Why? How do you know?”

“Well, it’s adjustable. You can change it within reason, so as long as your plumbing isn’t something incredibly out of the ordinary it should fit just fine.”

He looks surprised (and maybe a bit like he wants to attack me, although I try to ignore that).

“How do you know that?”

I laugh.

“Basic home maintenance, mate, I’ve had to fix a leaky sink before too, believe it or not.”

I grin at him until one corner of his mouth tips upward in response.

“Thanks,” he says, his cheeks flushing a little. “I’ll get this one then. Yes. Thank you. Have a nice evening.”

He strides off, once again leaving me feeling a bit dazed.

He looks really good in eyeliner.

Baz

When Fiona discovered I hadn’t left the apartment in a week, she called in the cavalry. Daphne showed up at my door with a casserole and some flowers, and within minutes she had the kitchen feeling like a place that was less utility space and more home.

“Basil, Fiona is worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. “I’m worried about you, too. You spend so much time by yourself, and you hardly ever go out to see your friends or enjoy the city.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Basil,” she had said, and that time it was a warning. “It’s not healthy for anyone to spend this much time alone.”

“What, do you expect me to get a cat?”

Daphne smiled, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, actually. And,” she said, before I could object, “Fiona thought you should too. In fact, she made it a condition of your continued occupancy of this flat. We both think it might be nice for you to have someone else around to talk to.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“And you want me to talk to a cat?”

Daphne just gave me a Mona Lisa smile, handed me a plate filled with food, and told me when she left later that evening that I had forty-eight hours to send her a picture of a cat. (I asked what I should do if I didn’t like any of the cats I saw. Or if they didn’t like me. She said I had to at least prove that I tried.)

So, this morning, I made my way to the nearest RSPCA and talked to strangers for the first time in over a week. I told them that I was looking to adopt a cat, and they immediately led me to a room filled with individual cages and an assortment of felines. They said I could play with any of the cats that I wanted, and now I’m staring into the eyes of a fluffy orange tabby.

The tabby meows at me, and I swear that she’s telling me to get lost. I guess cats can tell when you’re out of your depth.

I stroll down the aisle and read the names given to each cat. It’s been years since I last had a pet and even then, the husky my family had wasn’t my sole responsibility. I was in charge of feeding him, but there was always someone else making sure that I did. And really, we only adopted him when my pediatrician suggested that an animal might help me after my mother died. Daphne is probably trying to do the same thing again now. (Is this how one becomes a crazy cat lady? Depression, anxiety, OCD, and an unwillingness to tolerate therapy?)

I keep walking slowly until I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look down, and a little orange paw ending in one very sharp claw has latched on to me. I unhook it before my sweater can snag, and then look into the kennel. There are two kittens, each only about ten weeks old according to their cards, and the orange one is peering up at me with big blue eyes. Its littermate is asleep in the corner, curled into a fluffy black puffball, but the tabby is ready to play. His tail twitches, and he pounces immediately when I wiggle a finger between the bars. He catches my fingertip in a far more gentle grasp than I would have imagined, then looks at me with what can only be described as pure adoration.

“Excuse me,” I say, moving my finger some more and feeling small claws dig in. Then again, louder, to get the attention of the woman, “Excuse me. Can I see this one?”

The woman comes over and flips the latch, then reaches in and comes out with a handful of fur and knives. The kitten opens its mouth in a fierce imitation of a vampire, then stretches it further as it lapses into a yawn. We spend the better part of an hour in a bright, cheerful room, just the kitten and I. At first it chases a string that I drag along the ground and runs after balls with bells in them, but then it calms down and curls up in my lap to sleep.

I’m petting it and cooing softly to it, trying to ignore the fact that Daphne and Fiona were both right about this whole thing, when the door to the room opens again.

“Oh. It’s you,” says the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My face flushes when I remember our last encounter and I pray he doesn’t remember my ignorance. (Of course he does. I didn’t know how to select a wrench. I am incapable of basic home repair and he knows it.)

“Do you two know each other?” The woman from before is back, this time holding the other kitten from the same cage, and looking between the two of us. “These kittens aren’t technically a bonded pair, but they are siblings, the only two remaining from their litter, and it would be lovely if they could still see each other.”

“Err…” the man says, shifting his weight.

“We’ve met in passing a few times now,” I say, trying to avoid encouraging this line of questioning.

“Great!” she says, clapping her hands brightly after handing the kitten off. “I’ll leave all of you to get better acquainted then!”

For a moment, there’s just awkward silence. Neither of us are looking at each other, both focusing on our respective kittens. Then, his kitten turns into the feline equivalent of a slinky, oozes out of his grasp, and runs over to tap my leg once before running away again. It hides behind his legs, and all I can see is a black tail winding around his ankles.

We both laugh, and the ice is broken.

“I’m Simon,” he says, and smiles at me. It’s the same radiant smile I remember from his lockscreen. It feels like looking into the sun, and I bask in it.

“Basil. Although my friends call me Baz.”

“Are you going to…” he trails off, but gestures to my cat.

“Yes,” I look down and give it a scratch under the chin. “I’m going to adopt it.”

“Same here,” Simon says, and then he blushes. “I mean, unless it rips my face off in the next few minutes, but I think this is the one.”

“Do you know which one you have?” Their names and genders were on the cage, but it didn’t specify who was who.

“No idea. I’m going to rename mine anyway though, I didn’t like either of those names.”

“I was planning on doing the same thing. If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to have a proper name befitting its personality. Not something mundane like Fluffy.” I scowl, and he laughs.

As his kitten comes over to touch its nose to my kitten, Simon clears his throat.

“So, um, like she said, they’d probably be happy to have playdates or whatever. I mean, since we’re getting them. And since we keep running into each other. It might make sense to, you know, exchange numbers?”

“Yes!” I say, far too eagerly. “I mean, that seems reasonable. It would be more convenient than waiting to happen upon you in the Waitrose choosing inferior crisps to set up a future meeting.”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, there’s that. And this way, it’ll be easier for me to ask you out, ”

Then the absolute nightmare sits down beside me and hands me his phone. He texts me immediately once I enter my contact info.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) This is Simon Snow

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) Your cat is cute.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) So are you

Unknown Number (11:28 AM) Wanna get dinner sometime? ;)

I blush, and send him a reply.

Baz (11:29 AM) I thought you’d never ask.

#snowbaz fic #Purr-fect Strangers #a gift for a friend!#fuff #my fic

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mutedsilence · 3 years

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A short ficlet that I wrote and just decided to post. I've also posted it under the cut. 1177 words.

This is family!

That's why he stays!

The words had rung through his head on a constant loop. Even after everything that had been happening. After the turmoil that he knew they were about to endure. The near escape with the bomb followed by the quick disappearance to places John didn't know.

They had taken a boat. It was quite exhilarating if he was honest. Especially seeing Sherlock in his element. He remembered the talk he had with Mycroft all those years ago - about how Sherlock wanted to be a pirate. Well… now he is.

Nothing, however, was able to distract his mind from what Sherlock had said back in the flat. That's why he stays! He hadn't expected the raw emotion behind Sherlock's voice. Hadn't expected the sentiment at all. Not after… everything.

Not after how much he had hurt Sherlock.

As the grenade had laid by his feet, he thought of it all. Thought of the pain he had inflicted. Not only physically, but mentally too. He had been punishing Sherlock for causing him two years of pain, but Sherlock didn't deserve it. None of it. John wasn't happy. He hadn't been for years. Not since he held his best friend's wrist between his fingers. He made a life. A new life. A life to give meaning to his old one, but it hadn't worked. He couldn't recapture the feeling. Not with the sole reason for that feeling gone.

He had begun to hate it. His new life. And yet, ever the soldier, he carried on. Until things got complicated. Far too complicated. What with the marriage he didn't know how to get out of, then the baby that he couldn't leave. Followed by the betrayal - the yearning for his old life back as he nurtured Sherlock back to health. Then the death. The death he didn't know how to handle. The death of a woman he no longer knew. The death of the woman he could never leave. The death of his daughter's mother. She may not have been his wife, but she was Rosie's mother. He had never got to say how he truly felt for her. Had never got to understand everything about her. Had never been able to figure out a life with her. Never quite knowing where he fits in her life, other than a bedmate.

His lack of understanding. The death of one so close. Dare he even say it? The death of another loved one that he would never understand. No one had pulled him from the body this time. No one had made him leave. He had held her. He had felt her pulse leave. There was no way that he could imagine it had only been an illusion and that she would come sauntering back into his life at any moment. He couldn't hold onto the hope. It had faded with her heartbeat.

They should have taken him away. Removed him from the situation. He had been helpless - he couldn't save her. He was too late. He could remember the faces of his old comrades that he had been too late to save. He could remember Sherlock's face after he had failed him. He always came to the rescue too late. He was just an ordinary man that couldn't save the ones he loved. No matter how hard he tried, he was always too late.

He had almost been too late again. Letting his anger take over. Letting the blame fall on the undeserving. Hurting himself hadn't worked. His internalised hatred had manifested and spread out.

Sherlock had been acting as if it had never happened.

That in itself had seemed like a punishment. All John wanted was for Sherlock to hit him. But he didn't. He just called him family. He acted as if John hadn't destroyed their friendship. He acted as if it had never been ruined in the first place.

It hurt.

John had been sitting with the 'captives'. Both of them were out cold, but there he was. Watching over them. Mycroft and Sherlock were making sure their plan would work. John had been told it. Of course, he had. Sherlock told him everything. Mycroft had been a little resistant in letting John know in such plain terms, but when did Sherlock ever listen to his brother?

Sherlock walked into the small room and sat beside John on the floor. His head - just next to John's knees. Sherlock's back rested against the side of the chair John sat on. Carefully not touching John. Something John had noticed Sherlock becoming more aware of after the death of Mary.

"You should rest. My brother estimates two hours before we get there. Plenty of time for a nap, I'll wake you." Sherlock didn't look at him. His gaze remained on the two sailors, his tone emotionless.

John looked down at his head, "What about you?" Sherlock just waved his hand dismissively. They swayed together as the boat moved, not as much as before thankfully. "You need to rest too. They won't do anything-"

"I don't need rest. You know full well-"

"Bollocks. We lived together for ages, I know that you sleep quite a lot. Even when you don't-"

Sherlock turned to face John, "I don't need rest, you-"

It seemed neither of them would get to the end of a sentence. John slipped from the chair and joined Sherlock on the floor. Effectively cutting off his friend as a confused look covered his face. "Why me?"

Sherlock blinked a few times. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he thought of what to say. It seemed nothing was coming to him. John carried on, "You're always taking care of me. Always," his voice quietened, he was talking more to himself than Sherlock as he thought back to all the times Sherlock paid a bill for John, or woke him for work. Ordered food for when John got home. "You've always taken care of me and what have I done? I hurt you again and again. And you say nothing. You let me hurt you. I don't want to hurt you," John looked into Sherlock's eyes. Sherlock didn't look like he had anything to say. He had silenced the great Sherlock Holmes. John leant forward and took hold of Sherlock's neck - pulling him down into John's chest. Holding him as he rested his head against Sherlock's hair. "If we're family, let me take care of you."

He had whispered it against Sherlock's head. Meaning every word he said and more. Wanting more than anything to become the family Sherlock deserved.

He relaxed against John. His arms came to rest around him. They shuffled for a moment until they were both as comfortable as they could get. Sherlock was practically curled around John with his head pressed into his collarbone. John was leant against the chair, his arms wrapped possessively around Sherlock with his head against Sherlock's. they rocked along with the water. Slipping under together as they both took care of the other.

#sherlock fanfiction #sherlock holmes #pov john #john watson #fanfic #1k

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rox-the-proxy · 4 years

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Of Secrets and Dragons

Dimivain hell? Yes please. This is basically a AU a friend andni came up with. It's based off of the idea that the goddess gifted certain family lines the ability to turn into dragons should all of Fodlan ever need protection. So, we have Beast/Dragon Form Claude, Edelgard and Dimitri. Hope you guys enjoy.

"It is said that on the Goddess's last visit here with normal man, she gifted three bloodlines a very unique ability. It was almost as if it was a parting gift. She gifted three of these Bloodlines the blood of dragons. At first, none of them understood why or what the purpose was. It was until they had children of their own did they understand. With the blood of different dragons running through their vines, their children could take the form of that particular species.

"One could take the form of a mighty Forest Wyvern. Swift as the wind, agile like no other. Its said a single drop of the blood of its blood on farm lands could rejuvenate the soil, bringing about plentiful crops or bringing plant life back to a area that has been long dead. This particular form now runs in the viens of the Riegan bloodline of the Leicester Alliance. Currently its said that the next Sovereign Duke; Claude Von Riegan now wields the ability to turn into this deadly, but elegant, life giving creature."

"The next, a hulking dragon that screamed power and Pride. This large winged creature is said to wield fire itself, being able to envelop itself in it's own flames to create light or even a form of protection. Its said this dragon can bring the end of harsh, ever lasting winters while being able to being pleasant summer days. This form of dragon is said to belong to the Imperial Princess; Edelgard von Hresvelg."

"And finally, There was the final dragon. This one, Flightless, wingless. But that alone did not mean it wasnt as strong and dangerous. This dragon, a drake, was a four legged dragon. A well muscled body, but somehow lean and quick. Powerful and struck a cold fear in those who stood in it's way. Its said this beast could bring about bitter cold and blizzards to fields when enraged. Or bountiful rain to areas who were suffering from a smoldering drought. As of now, it was said that this dragon form ran in the vines of the Blaiddyd family of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. However, as of now, its said that the crown Prince; Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd does not have this dragon form. Many suspect this form was lost long before the rule of Lambert, the previous King of the Holy Kingdom."

There was a long pause of silence in the Blue Lion class room as they sat there, listening to the rare and seemingly odd lecture of the day they were getting from Lady Rhea herself. She rarely ever left the first floor and she definitely wasnt one to teach a class. She was the Archbishop after all, she typically had far more important things to do verses actually teach a class. But they had been expecting this to happen. The Golden Deer house and the Black Eagle House had already received this same lecture from her. None of them knew why they were suddenly receiving this lesson or why she was even talking about it. Yes, strange things had been happening around the Monastery as of late, but in a way, some of the students were starting to think that maybe Rhea was in a way letting the house leaders know that maybe it was time to start using their dragon forms to send a message.

But as the Archbishop had stated, Dimitri was the only one out of the three who couldn't take the dragon form he was supposed to be able to take. Or at least that's what many believed. The class gave Rhea their thanks for her lesson she had given before watching her depart, once she was gone it was painfully obvious bow they all relaxed and sighed. Some, namely Sylvain, had slumped forward onto the dark wood desk, Felix to his left pinching the bridge of his nose. "Man, talk about throwing more of the churches issues onto the future King, Emperor and Sovereign Duke." Sylvain said, sitting back up and looking over at their future King who was looking down at the notes he had sitting in front of him. He was sure the blonde didnt actually write down anything important, but he did have to make it seem like he was Intrested in the topic. "Hey, dont look so worried your Highness." The redhead tried to reassure.

It was clear that he was nervous, on edge now. Dimitri was easy to read more or less when he got like this. Especially when it concerned that dragon of his. There was a reason why it slowly started to disappear in the family line. And that was because his family's particular form was high aggressive even if the king amdnor queen wasnt by nature. So, in reality only all of the Blue Lions knew why the Blaiddyd family had started using that form less and less as time passed. Sylvain huffed when he noticed that his words didnt seem to quite reach his blonde haired loved one. He stood up, walking over and kneeled down next to where the Prince was sitting. He reached up, his palm slid up the others cheek and his fingers tangled into the blonde colored locks, gently tugging. This got the younger male's attention, he turned his head to look at the red head, but frowned when Sylvain didnt remove his hand, only tugged again.

"Must you?" Dimitri asked, though it came out more like a whine verses a question. Sylvain only smiled, keeping his hand tangled in the golden locks, gently rubbing where he had tugged on the other's hair. "I'm fine, I just dont believe that its necessary for any of us to use those forms. Lady Rhea failed to mention those forms are used for emergency cases only. In which I mean the fate of all of Fódlan is at risk. Not because some people are questioning the Church." He himself wasnt a holy man, despite what his own kingdom was called. Never really believed in the goddess, much less took part in praying to her or any such things. His father was much the same way. Maybe that's why he turned out as he did. Not that he wasnt saying that the goddess didnt exist, he just didnt see a need to worship her so damn much. Especially when so many people have died thinking she would give them mercy and save them only for it to turn out otherwise. He sighed heavily, leaning into Sylvain's larger hand. "I'll need to speak with Edelgard and Claude about this when we all have some spare time."

"Work, work, work. That's all it is with you." Sylvain teased as he stood up, removing his hand from Dimitri's hair and sitting on the end of the table, soon enough the rest of the blue Lions soon gathered around their prince at the table he was sitting at. "But on a serious note, are you going to warn them about this? Or are you going to tell them?"

"They dont need to know," Felix interjected with his usual sharp tone, his arms crossed over his chest. "There had never been a need for them to know so I dont see a reason for them to know now. It's not like all of Fódlan is on the verge of collapse. I say leave them be. Dont go doing something stupid that you'll regret. I'm sure the other house leaders are smart enough to know what Rhea is getting at."

Same typical Felix. Sylvain could only sigh as he shook his head. But his younger friend did have a point. Edelgard and Claude were smart, they probably already put two and two together to figure out that the Archbishop was in a way, pressuring them into taking those forms when the church asked them to. Sylvain couldnt help but feel glad that Dimitri's family had started using that uncontrollable form of theirs less and less. Hell, he was sure not even Lord Rodrigue recalled how that dragon form of the Blaiddyd family looked like. Still, it was a bit of a bad thing that the family had no control over the dragon form. No one could ever really figure out why, many assumed maybe the goddess made it that way for a reason. But what reason could that be? Either way, it was a mystery and would probably remain that way for a while. The red head only was pulled from his thoughts when he felt Dimitri lay his head on his thigh.

A small smile graced his features, especially when Felix, even if it was out of character for him, reached out to place a comforting hand on his back. They cared for him, he was their friend after all and they had sworn to keep him safe after the Tragedy of Duscur and after the Rebellion. Dimitri had no control over himself when that rebellion took place west of their kingdom. It had been a forced transformation and no one who was there spoke of it to anyone else out of respect for the late King and for the respect and love they had for their Prince. "Its okay, things will work out." Sylvain assured him as he ran his fingers through the Blonde's hair gently. "Like you said, those forms are for when Fódlan is on the brink of collapse right? And yeah sure there have been a few strange things here and there but nothing to suggest Fódlan is in that much trouble or need of help."

"As much as I loath to agree with him," Felix started, pulling his hand back and crossing his arms over his chest. He easily ignored the shouted and offended shout of 'hey!' From his red headed friend. "He has a point, Boar. Right now things are fine. So realx." Despite his harsh tone and the glare on his face, anyone who knew Felix well enough knew he was saying it truly to help Dimitri relax and calm down. Felix raised a brow when the blonde turned his head to look up at him. With Dimitri laying his head on their older friend's thigh, one could tell he was tried. The prince was allowing himself to look Vulnerable, and Felix felt his blood boil at the mere idea of anyone else from the other houses walking in and seeing him like this. "Get up, goddess forbid anyone else sees you looking this pathetic." He snapped.

"Felix," Sylvain scolded lightly, keeping his hand on the back of Dimitri's head. There wasn't any actual pressure there keeping the Prince's head down, but it was Sylvain letting him know that he didnt have to move despite Felix's words. He could never really actually put heat behind his words when it came to Felix or Dimitri. He supposed they were his soft spots, he could never scold Ingrid because well she never really acted out of line. Unless it was with Dedue but the Duscur man handled that well on his own.

"Your too soft with him. Hes a boar, a beast, an animal. He doesnt need to be coddled." He snapped again, glaring at the older male. Honestly he knew Sylvain coddle him and Dimitri a lot, he was just like that even when they were kids. But they weren't kids anymore. Dimitri would be king soon, and with it a whole kingdom full of problems he would need to learn how to handle. Neither he or Sylvain would always be there, there would be times where he wouldn't see either of them for months. Sylvain couldnt keep coddling him like this, making the empty and stupid promise he would always be there at his side. "Get up and come spar with me. And try to control yourself I can already feel a cold chill in the air and we're in the middle of summer."

"Ah, My Apologies I didnt realize-"

"Of course you didnt. Just shut up and let's go."

Sylvain sighed heavily, he was disappointed that the Prince lifted his head from his lap but he knew there wasnt talking him out of it. At least sparring with Felix would keep his mind from thinking about the lecture they just got from Rhea. Though Felix had been right, even he could feel the slight bite of cold in the air, Dimitri always seemed to have trouble controlling his own abilities aside from his strength. It made sense that this was the reason why he shoved down whatever he was feeling when it came to the Duscur Tragedy and the Rebellion as well. Both incidents always caused Dimitri to have a flurry of different emotions and with thaoe emotions came harsh and sudden blizzards. Faerghus had experienced it once already, the Monastery did not need to. Still, there had to be more to Rhea's lecture. A few incidents couldnt cause something like this to come about, right? No it wouldnt make much sense. There was more that she knew that she wasnt telling the students. But that didnt mean that the Professors didnt know. Which meant their Professor knew as well, a soft hum escaped the red head as he thought about this. Could he and would he be able to get any information out of him? If nothing else, their professor was tight lipped about certain things if not just completely unaware.

"Sylvain, are you alright?" It was Mercedes's soft, gentle, and caring tone that brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, of course! Just thinking is all. Ah but it warms my heart to know that such a beautiful-"

"Sylvain," came Ingrid's warning, effectively cutting him off from one of his usual tangents.

Sylvain for his part only laughed, rubbing the back of his neck before allowing himself to listen to the chatter of his group of friends. He supposed things would he fine, maybe everyone was just over thinking things.

That would turn out to not be the case five years later.

When Edelgard declared war, when their Professor went missing and when they received news of Dimitri's execution it was like the world came crashing down all around them and there was nothing they could do to stop it. No matter how hard they had tried. He didnt think there was much rhyme or reason to return to the Monastery like they had all promised to do, after all, their king dead, their professor probably also dead. What reason would they have to go back? Still, he gathered Ingrid and Felix up, making the long and dangerous trip to what was once a second home to them all. However what gave the red head a sliver of hope was the striking cold in the air, the frozen bodies, the snow and ice that covered parts of the walls and land.

When they finally found him with their professor, this Dimitri was nothing like the one from so many years ago. This Dimitri was cold, harsh, bloodthirsty and thought only of killing Edelgard. For a long while, Sylvain didnt think there would be much hope for him. Whatever darkness that had a hold of him had finally been able to drag him down into its depths and it was like Dimitri wasnt even trying to fight it. Whenever they went, the harsh, biting cold followed. Wherever they went, snow fell, the battles the fought enemy soldiers ended up with icicle spears through them, other begging for mercy as Dimitri held their head in his hand. Quick and painless death was a rare thing from Dimitri. Sylvain had little to no hope of ever seeing the soft, gentle and shy Dimitri he once knew again. Felix had even tried to get through to him. But even that didnt seem to work. It took Rodrigue's death and nearly his own for Dimitri to finally snap out of it.

When he did, he gave them all such a heartfelt apology. Swearing he would make it up to them And atone for his mistakes, things had started going a lot better after that. The cold that followed their army faded away, Dimitri would actually show up to the war council and even training as well. He would even join them to eat dinner together. Though there were times when he would still distance himself from the group. At first Sylvain didnt understand why, but when he found him late one evening, patrolling the Monastery grounds in the Dragon form he had no control over previously. He felt a swell of pride and joy for their future king he couldn't stop himself from walking up to him. He looked...stunning in this form. He stood taller then a horse, his scales a beautiful mix and light and dark blue. Black colored Horns that grew up and slightly back from his head. In this form Sylvain could see the scars that littered his body, and it was countless, some overlapping each other, some small, others large. Though if he had to pick out which one was the worse one in his opinion-

It would be the one that took his eye. Not that Sylvain was bothered by the horrible scarring, not in the least bit. They all had their fair share of scars thanks to this war and even past battles. But when he saw the scars that just seemed to over take Dimitri's body, he couldn't help but feel his blood boil. Only because he knew a good amount of those scars were caused by his time imprisoned in the Capital under the pretenses that he had murdered his uncle. His eye had been lost during his escape from what Dimitri had implied. He never went into much detail about that day. No one could blame him. As Sylvain stood there next to the hulking creature that was his friend, he could tell Dimitri was tense. It was sad, seeing him so tense and always seeing to be walking on eggshells around not only him, but everyone. As if fearful of doing or saying the wrong thing. Dimitri used to be so confident, or at least he came off as confident. These days he doubted himself a lot, making it hard for him to see that he was indeed making the right decision. Even as Sylvain reached up and held the other's face between his hands.

It was odd, the feeling of cold scals under his hands. Considering he had only ever had been in his human form. Both remained silent, Sylvain gently holding Dimitri's head in his hands, thumbs stoking along his jawline. The touch seemed to have calmed him down, considering his remaining eye was closed in content, deep rumbles coming from him which he supposed were the dragon version of a purr. If that was even possible. The red head pushed that thought aside, there was a time and place for such joking things, right now wasnt the time nor the place. Right now, he was enjoying this moment of peace.

"Look at you. Never once did I think I would ever get to see you like this." Sylvain mumbled, pressing his head to the other's head. He shivered at how cold the other felt in this form but goddess it felt so pleasant. "Honestly it suits you. But I'd like to see you now. If that's okay?" Had he asked this from the blonde so many hours ago, he would have been met with a snarling growl and a harsh 'no'. But right now the got a soft, long exhale of breath before he pulled his head away from his gloved and armored hands. He watched as the King shifted from that dragon form back into the human form he had grown accustomed to seeing. Like this, Sylvain felt much better seeing. He looked more vulnerable, more...him. which in a way made sense, in his dragon form it was hard to tell how he was feeling, there was always an air of being on edge and ready for anything like that. Or at least that had been how Hilda explained it whenever Claude was in his Wyvern form. Sylvain smiled, reaching up to cup the other's face between his hands. Dimitri's flinch did not go unnoticed, but he kept his movements slow and steady, making sure to not startle the other so much.

It broke his heart every single time he saw Dimitri flinch away from what would be a friendly touch. It was sading to see how a simple pat on the shoulder or back was like the best type of touch hes ever gotten. How long had he gone only knowing harmful and malicious touch? Had it been since the death of his uncle? Since his imprisonment? Goddess only knew. Sylvain smiled when Dimitri leaned into his hands, his remaining eye closed. He noticed though how his hands seemed to hover awkwardly, like he didnt know what to do with them, as if he feared to touch anyone. "Its okay," he assured the King. He felt Dimitri stiffen for a moment before his reached up, placing his hands over Sylvain's. It took a long time for them to reach this point, before Dimitri wouldnt even allow anyone to touch him. Not even Sylvain who had never once ever dreamed of hurting him. But goddess it felt good to be at this point, there was a feeling of shock that washed over him when he felt the blonde lean against him, so much so that his head was resting against the crook of his shoulder and neck. "There you are, it's good to see you."

Dimitri hummed softly, the blonde moving his arms to wrap them around the other, pulling him close. He missed this, he missed Sylvain. He didnt think something like this would ever be possible. Especially after everything he had done, the lives he had taken so mercilessly. He wouldn't have blamed the older male if he had decided to never stand by him ever again. He wouldn't have blamed him if he had sided with the Empire and told the secret that yes, he did indeed have a dragon form. But he didnt do that, no Sylvain stayed by him, had tried time and time again to snap him our of his own madness. Even when he threatened them all, Sylvain never once held it against him. He didn't quite understand why he didn't, why he had been so forgiving of his horrendous behavior, but he was. Dimitri these days knew it was best not to question the good things that were given to him even if he found himself tempted to question it constantly. "Why are you not in bed? We have a long March ahead of us tomorrow, you should be resting." Dimitri didn't need to see the other rolling his eyes at his words he could practically feel it.

"And let you wander about like a guard dog alone when you need just as much rest as the rest of us? No way, come on, Dima. Let's get you to bed." Dimitri chuckled, leave it to Sylvain to pull something like this. He didnt fight the other when he pulled away, slipping his hand Into his own and leading him back to their old dormitories. Dimitri couldn't recall ever actually stepping foot into his old room, and now that he might he felt himself grow extremely nervous. Sylvain must have noticed because as they walked and arrived at the second floor of the dorms, he bypassed the King's room entirely and entered his own. Obviously since coming back the red head took the time to clean the room out, make more suitable for him now verses back when they were young, innocent and still had delusional ideas about how they would change the world for the better. How foolish had Dimitri been back then. At least Sylvain had always been a bit more cynical then him, knew the world wasnt always as good as it seemed. Not everyone had good in them like Dimitri wished to believe. By the time Dimitri turned back into the world around him, the red head had already gotten out of his own armor and had gotten his entire chest plate off. "How often does that happen?"

For a moment, Dimitri found himself lost and unsure of what Sylvain was speaking of, but it came to him rather quickly. The zoning out, the disassociation as Mercedes called it. Compared to just a few weeks ago, it didnt happen as often as it used to, but it would still occur from time to time. On those days it was like he was watching the day pass through someone else's eyes. He found himself forgetting to eat, forgetting to sleep. Basic human function became extremely hard to do, this often lead to someone needing to be with him at all times for the rest of that day or for however long the disassociative episode lasted. "More often then I would like to admit." It wasn't a good answer, not good news by any means, but was a truthful response. He watched as Sylvain nodded, working on removing the dark colored armor he insisted on wearing. Even when Gilbert gave him the Blaiddyd armor he refused to put it on just yet.

Sylvain nodded, there was a glint of sadness and guilt in his eyes. As the blonde's friend and the oldest of their group of four he had failed when it came to looking out for all three of them. He ended up being someone Ingrid had to constantly trail behind to make sure he stayed out of trouble. Even Dimitri would pull him aside and scold him. Felix didnt even try but sure as hell made it known he wasnt happy with his behavior. At the end, they all only did that for one reason only; to make sure nothing bad happend to him. Because in their minds, loosing him would be just as bad as losing Glenn. It was touching to know he meant that much to them. But it was also sad to see that the trauma of losing Glenn had affected them all so much they felt as if they needed to do more then necessary to make sure he was going to be just fine. When he finally managed to get he other out of the armor and in clothing much more comfortable to be in, he guided the king to lay down flag on his stomach. He could tell the younger male was tense, worried about what he was planning. "Relax, its okay. Your safe here." There was more meaning to his words. Dimitri wasnt only physically safe here, his secrets, his doubts, his fears all of it was safe here. Sylvain was never one to go around speaking of the insecurities and tightly guarded secrets others trusted him with. "The empire still doesnt know about your dragon form, I'm going to assume none of the others know as well if only because they think you cant control it." He watched as the blonde turned his head to side, somewhat looking at him with his remaining eye. "I think we should keep it that way for a while. A sort of...ace in the hole."

"Would it not be better to reveal it sooner rather than later?" Sylvain could see where that would be the best idea, but he also knew that having something like that as a secret and only using it as a last ditch effort would serve them as an advantage. Plus if Edelgard caught wind that he did have a dragon form after all, she would know exactly how to kill him, it wouldnt he a problem for her. It would give her the necessary time to figure it out if she didnt know.

"The less the Empire knows about us in general, the better, Dima." The red head said simply as he gently started to massage the others back and shoulders. The king was tense, wincing whenever his hands seemed to press and knead into a particularly sore and tender spot. Dimitri didnt seem to have a response for what he said, after all he did have a point. The less Edelgard knew, the easier it would be for them all to do what they needed to do in order to stop her. "But for now, let's worry more about how tightly wound your muscles are. It's no wonder you're always stiff like a statue."

If nothing else, it was always easier to be in Sylvain's company compared to the company of anyone else. That is not to say that Dimitri didnt care for the others, because by the goddess he did. He would tear down all of Fódlan if it meant he could keep them all safe and alive. But with Sylvain, with this flamboyant, smooth talking red head, it was different. Perhaps it was due to the fact that with him, doing anything had always been easier. He ould always be more emotional around him, physical touch wasnt as a much a fear as it had been with anyone else. Sylvain even encouraged it, often times locking their arms together, throwing his arm over his shoulders and dragging to wherever he pleased or even always putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. On rare occasions, a friendly but gentle pat on the head as well. Dimitri would refuse to admit to anyone that those pats on the head had been his favorite. Maybe that's why letting him do this, rub out the tension in his body was so easy for him, letting the other's gentle hands run up and down his back, carefully kneading. When the older male hit a particularly sore spot, the one eyed male hissed, arching away from his touch. Dimitri could name every single spot on his body that was far more tender and tense then anywhere else. It was how hebhad been living for the past five years since his escape from Fhirdiad.

"Shh, shh. Easy I know hurts right now but it will get better." Sylvain was quick to comfort, quick to lighten his touch on that spot just under and along his left shoulder blade. He had a feeling he knew what brought the tension on in the muscles in this particular area. If nothing else, Dimitri was a master with a Lance, but he wasnt thebobly one who had exceptional skill in the use of this type of particular weapon. He had encounter plenty of other Lance users and he had used Areadbhar many times in battle. Often times, he watched his King push himself far past limits he knew better then to cross. But did so anyway, which lead to torn muscles, and soreness in his shoulders more often than not. And if seemed like this time would be a case of exactly that. It felt like hours had passed before Sylvain seemed to have finally gotten the muscles in Dimitri's back to relax. When he moved to lay next to the king he paused and smiled at the sight of the king peacefully asleep.

When had he even drifted off? He wasnt sure, but he was happy to see that the man still trusted him enough to even fall asleep around him. As he laid there, watching the man in slumber, is when he started to notice small things, such as that even covered in warm, fur blankets, Dimitri's skin was cold to the touch. If one looked closely enough when he was awake, one could see the faint Cerulean glow his eye had. Even his teeth seemed sharper as well, all attributes and traits that he got as he got older thanks to the dragon form that ran through his family's blood. For now, the others didnt need to know about his control over his beast form, not yet. It could be a secret between him and his king. For now, Dimitri could rest.

For tomorrow, it was back to war, back into the fighting.

#dimivain #fe3h fanfic #fe3h dimitri #fe3h sylvain #fe16 #Ice Drake Dimitri #Forest Wyvern Claude #Fire Dragon Edelgard #Beast/Dragon Form AU #Sylvain x Dimitri #sylvain jose gautier #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

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heartfullofleeches · 5 years

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could i request a yandere's reaction to his darling attempting suicide as an alternative to escaping?

You never showed the slightest hint of romantic interest in the guy before he began rambling on about how living together would make you and him practically inseparable. He was just someone you'd pass on a daily and have a quick chat with from time to time. You didn't even know his name and yet he acted as you had been going steady for months. This was a bit strange but you figured he was just a lonely guy looking for a relationship with any random person. You were only partially right on that point.

With knowing the layout of your house so well it was an easy task to take you from it. One second you were asleep in your own room and the next you were in a completely different room, one hand chained to the bed frame and the other in the tight grip of your strange acquaintance. He tried his best to make you happy by giving you anything he could get his hands on but all you wanted was your freedom and that's the one thing he refused to give.

You had many escape plans but they all ended with bad outcomes. First you tried seeing there were any faults in his security but he knew you well. Knew just how to keep you from ever leaving his side again. After that didn't work you played the sudden affection card, looking him straight in the eyes and telling him everything he wanted to hear in hopes that'd get him to trust you enough to allow you to leave. Unfortunately that had no affect on you leaving the house but you did gain more freedom around the house.

One evening he ran a bath for you before heading out to grab a few things. The warm water helped relax your body but it did nothing for your wondering mind. Your captor was nothing but kind if not overprotective but you couldn't stay. He often told you what was best but you knew what truly was good for you. At least you thought you did.

You often had trouble sleeping and your lover kindly made you a drink to help you with that from time to time. You happened to save some from your last sleepless night and drank it before your bath. Whether it was drunked or not you'd never know. All that matter was that it did the trick. Closing your eyes you sink down, allowing the water level to pass your mouth and nose. Falling asleep would get you of this mess just as it got you into it.

"Wake up.. You're not leaving.. Not yet. Not without me."

You slowly open your eyes, staring up at the ceiling light. Your body was shaking and tired. A towel was wrapped around you and your back against the cold bathroom floor. As you struggle to get up you realize your body wasn't shaking on it's own accord but because of the man sobbing into your chest.

"Y/n..." He says through shaky laughs. "I thought you... I thought you left without me. I was so scared. If you were tired you should've told me so you could rest."

Something clicks inside his head as you look down, refusing to look him in the eyes. His smile fades as realization hits him hard. "Y/n... Look at me. Please... Don't tell me you were trying to.. on purpose."

"You can't keep me here. Not if you want to win me over."

"Now's not the time to joke." He pulls you into his arms, stroking your damp hair. "I can do whatever I please since you're mine. You've always been mine. Even before I laid eyes on your pretty face. You do realize I'm going to watch you more closely now right? Even after death we'll still be one but no is not our time to leave this world yet. I know the future is scary but I'll always been here."

You were carried to your room and held close until sleep took you once again. You were once again cuffed to the bed but wasn't the worse to come for you. Being the caring lover he was, your partner changed the lock on your door that night and began searching for a quieter place to keep you. A change of scenery would be good for you plus there'd be a lesser chance of the cops being on his back.

#Yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #male yandere #tw: attempted suicide #tw: suidice

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ilovereadingandilovebreathing · 5 years

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Ooo I have a few weakness for irondad stuff ._. Could you maybe write Peter taking care of his dad? Or maybe Tony noticing how strong Peter is and how much he has to hold back during hugs? Or hmmm what about comfort cuddles? Honestly anything would be fine though ^-^ cause I love what you write and as long as you have fun with it I'm pretty sure I'll love it! But yeah! I hope maybe these suggestions help ^-^

IronDad writers have literally been making and breaking my whole life these last few months LOL How about all 3?? Great suggestions, Nonny! I appreciate you. This helped immensely.

Random AU in which May is dead and Tony adopted Peter. Shocking, I know, but you said dad, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Characters/Genre: Tony Stark & Peter Parker (IronDad & Spiderson); mostly hurt/comfort, tbh

⚠️ warnings: mentions of gun violence (yes I brought up Ben. Don’t hate me.), crying, broken body parts

•••••••

“Hey, Pete.” Tony tried to keep his tone light as Peter fluttered around him like an anxious little bird; the boy muttered quietly to himself as he pushed various pieces of furniture a few inches to one side, looked over the set up, and then pushed some of them back the other way again.

“Pete.” Peter seemed to not hear Tony at all as he breezed toward the kitchen at a brisk pace, quickly returning with a cold compress which he absently laid on the coffee table just out of Tony’s reach.

“Peter!” Tony’s tone was loud but not angry as he called out to the teen; Peter jerked to a stop, seeming to come out of a trance as he stared and blinked at Tony for a good five seconds before speaking.

“Yeah? Why’re you yelling?”

“Because I tried to get your attention in a normal person way, but apparently you’ve focused all of your energy on scuttling around like a frightened hen instead of allowing your ears to pick up sound outside your own head.” Tony accentuated his comment with a grin to show Peter he wasn’t truly upset with him, but Peter’s face fell anyway, his eyes wide and shimmering as he pointedly only looked at Tony’s face. “Oh, sh- Awh, buddy...”

[[MORE]]

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tony. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please just relax. I can go to my room if that’ll make you feel better. Or I can just leave all together, I guess; I’m sure Rhodey or Happy could-”

“Kid. Stop. Before you give yourself whiplash.” Tony sighed and gestured for Peter to walk toward him. “Come here.”

Peter stayed frozen in place, a look of horror washing over his features that might have been comedic if Tony didn’t know it was genuinely wrought from a place of fear.

“Pete. You’re not gonna break me, kid.” Tony grimaced when Peter flinched, catching the mistake far too late. “You know what I mean. Just get over here or I’ll come over there.” Tony reached for the crutches propped nearby, wrinkling up his nose and making a mental note to get to the lab to make a suitable replacement when Peter wasn’t looking. If that was possible.

“No! No no no! I’m coming; I’m coming. Don’t move!” Peter scurried over to Tony and stopped inches from the side of the couch; his eyes shone even brighter than before, and Tony braced himself for the inevitable flood. Peter hadn’t cried since everything started, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the kid’s guilt shattered him to pieces.

Tony shimmied back so that his side was against the back of the spacious sectional sofa, patting the now empty space beside him. Peter eyed him warily, finally looking at all of Tony before letting out a shaky sigh.

“Please, Tony.” Peter whispered, his voice catching painfully. “I....I can’t. Not yet.”

“Okay.” Tony reached out a hand, and Peter took it slowly, eying Tony in case he tried anything. Tony smiled stiffly and rubbed his thumb over the back of Peter’s hand while studying the boy’s face carefully. “It’s not your fault, Peter.”

Peter jerked violently and dropped Tony’s hand; he stared in disbelief at his mentor-turned-father, his mouth slightly agape and nostrils flaring. “That’s...how can you say that?” His voice was low, but his tone was bitter and biting though Tony knew Peter’s ire was not aimed toward him. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” Tony sighed at Peter’s shocked expression. “You definitely played a part in this situation, but so did I. And so did the idiot who didn’t know how to stop or redirect a pair of ice skates. I guess he was shocked that a toothpick could pick up such a hunk of meat.” Tony snorted but immediately ground his teeth together when his comment didn’t soften Peter’s gaze at all. “Look, Pete. Times were had. Mistakes were made. Tonys were dropped, and a foot was broken, but it’s not the end of all things, okay? I’m not a fragile little porcelain bird; I don’t always shatter when I fall, but this time just happened to be a bad break. No pun intended.”

“But that’s the point!” Peter was actually on the brink of a breakdown, his voice manic with fear and guilt. “You’ve done so much in your Iron-Man suit, and you’ve ended up okay. I’ve been so careful to control my powers, but the one time I decide to have a little fun, I screw everything up by being careless, and now you’re hurt!” Peter threw an arm toward Tony’s left foot which was encased in a red cast and propped on a stack of throw pillows that had come with the couch.

“It was fun, though.” Tony drew up a fond if not slightly devious smile. “I haven’t been carried around like that since I was a kid. I felt like a five-year-old. And the look on that guy’s face. I’ve never seen a man more terrified of me. Did you hear how he said, ‘T-Tony Stark?!’” Tony brought his hands to his mouth in a cartoonish manner, eyes comically wide and teeth chattering like a frightened Scooby Doo. He quickly dropped the façade and smirked devilishly. “I wonder if he thinks we’ll sue. We’ll hold off on making a statement; that’ll be plenty of karma for my foot.”

Peter’s brow creased at “we,” but he stayed silent, pulling and twisting at the edges of his sweater’s sleeves and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Pete, I can’t truly have fun with the situation if you’re all pouty like that.”

“What’s fun about this?” Peter grumbled and slouched with his arms crossed.

Tony laughed out loud, startling Peter with the boom in his tone. “Now you look like the five-year-old. There’s plenty that’s fun. I can order Happy around in a way I haven’t been able to since Afghanistan. He’s even better than you at the worried hen impersonation.” Tony just wrinkled his nose at Peter’s sidelong glare. “Pepper won’t dream of getting on my case right now; at least, not like normal. A short break from Stark Industries stuff is a nice change of pace. Definitely no Avengers stuff for a while which is fine with me. I need time here to settle in with my kiddo.” Tony’s features softened when Peter’s cheeks heated with a blush; the teen refused to meet the billionaire’s gaze, so he continued on quietly. “My son. My adopted child named Peter Parker who is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, regardless of what has happened or will happen. Sleepless nights and broken feet and all.”

Peter worked his jaw painfully, his lips curling and uncurling as he fought with himself.

Tony lightly snapped his fingers and gestured for Peter to meet his gaze, smiling a closed-lipped smile that reached to his eyes before quietly but firmly declaring, “I forgive you, Peter.”

Peter didn’t react at first. He stared at Tony for a moment with his jaw clenched so tight Tony worried he might break a tooth, but then twin tears broke free when Peter blinked for longer than normal, and his face crumpled. He let his head fall forward into his hands as quiet, broken cries tore up and out of his throat.

Tony reached out and tugged lightly on Peter’s sweater until the boy finally acquiesced and dropped onto the very edge of the couch, sitting parellel to Tony. Rolling his eyes, Tony sat up and pulled Peter into his arms, cupping his son’s head with one hand as he cried into Tony’s shoulder. “I know, buddy. I know. It’s okay. I’m going to be okay. And so are you.”

Peter finally wrapped his arms firmly around Tony’s midsection, clinging to the back of his sweatshirt, and Tony tilted his head to rest against Peter’s.

Tony gasped when Peter’s hug became just a bit too hard, squeezing the air out of him, and he felt Peter stiffen in his hold and try to pull away. Tony, however, had no intention of letting go of his kid until his cries died down, so he held Peter tighter and reclined back against the couch, giving them both a second to readjust before sliding his hand back into Peter’s messy curls.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Peter was muttering repetitiously into one of his hands which was balled in a tight fist against his mouth, trying in vain to keep in his cries.

“I forgive you, Peter. For everything. I’ll never get mad at you for loving me.”

“But I hurt you.”

“On accident. While showing how much you love me by having fun and hugging me. I’m not mad, buddy, so I need you to get out whatever guilt you’re feeling, okay?” Peter took in a gasping breath, and it finally clicked for Tony; he rested his chin on Peter’s head and murmured into his hair. “Not that I don’t think you love me or anything, but what’s really got you so worked up?”

“What do you mean?” Peter stuttered quietly.

“I know you feel bad about dropping me, but we both know I could’ve gotten out easily and that it was the other guy’s fault, not yours.”

“But I snuck up behind and surprised you.”

“So? I could’ve told you to put me down, and I know you would have. Please, kid, you gotta tell me what’s had you creeping around me like a hand-shy stray kitten for the past few days.”

Peter was silent save for his cries, and Tony looked toward the ceiling and closed his eyes, willing himself to be patient.

After a full minute of silence, Peter sighed heavily.

“...You know what happened to Ben?”

“Only what you’ve told me.”

That wasn’t entirely true. Tony had definitely dug up what he could on Ben Parker’s murder, and, putting Peter’s and his pieces together, he knew Peter had his powers when his dad’s brother, a police officer and Peter’s guardian at the time, was shot outside of a gas station in Queens while trying to stop a mugging. Unarmed. Tony had come to understand so much about Peter after reading about Ben’s case.

Tony’s wandering thoughts halted when Peter cleared his throat.

“It’s just...I was there...the night he died. I was in my crummy old Spider-Man costume, watching Queens from a building near the gas station.” Peter sighed a deep, trembling sigh, and Tony felt tears drip onto the hand that held Peter against him. “I heard them yelling, but I figured it was some drunk guys fighting over a lotto card or something, but when I really listened, my enhanced hearing picked up his voice. I tried to web over, but...it was too late.” Peter’s voice cracked and trembled. “So now, knowing that I have these powers that can do good...that could have done good...I don’t want to do anything else, you know? I never want my powers to be a bad thing, so it just sucks so much that I hurt my dad-” Peter cut off with a sharp intake of breath, biting his lip hard and squeezing his eyes shut though tears still leaked out. “That I hurt you, especially after everything you’ve done for me. I just feel so bad.”

“I know.” Tony readjusted them so that Peter’s head rested against his shoulder; his tone was low and even in Peter’s ear. “I know you get your moral compass from Ben and his self-sacrificial nature, and I’m so glad you had someone as loving and dedicated as Ben to raise you during your formative years.” Peter shook against him, his breath coming in short bursts, and Tony wrapped both arms around Peter to secure him as closely and tightly as possible. “But, Peter, you have to drop this guilt, okay? I know I didn’t know Ben, but he wouldn’t want this for you. He’d want you to be living it up and happy with me. Not mulling over something you didn’t have control over. Multiple somethings.”

Peter continued to whimper into Tony’s neck, and Tony just held his newly adopted son, hoping his words sunk in as he allowed the boy to cry himself out as he needed to. The stress of the last day, really the last year since May’s passing, had really worn Peter down to the bone. Despite his healing abilities, Tony had noticed the frequent glaze that settled over Peter’s eyes and the hoarse undertones in his voice. The kid was sleepless, running himself ragged at night being Spider-Man and searching for May’s killer. (Peter has never confessed this, of course, but Tony knew there was a reason Peter just couldn’t seem to make curfew....Plus he’d used FRIDAY to make Karen tattle, but for now, Peter could believe she was keeping it all on the down low.)

Tony had heard (read: read online) some teenager adoption stories that were outright horrific, but the majority of adoptive parents just warned about emotional instability, pushing boundaries, and the critical step of forming strong relationships. Tony had definitely experienced the first two, mainly before he’d even had a reason to adopt Peter, but he often worried about that last part. Was he forming a strong relationship with Peter, built on boundaries and actual bonds? He doubted this often, especially when Peter exploded or they disagreed loudly, but right now, with his kid in his arms and finally, if not too carefully, hugging him back, Tony told those fears to back off.

Peter was his kid, and Tony loved Peter Parker more than any other teenager in the world.

Superpowers, broken foot, crying mess, and all.

#irondad #spiderson #irondadfic #irondadfanfic #irondadandspiderson #mine #spiderbabyfic #irondadfanfics #mcufics

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breathebangtan · 5 years

Text

Credulous

Ch. 6: J…….

Genre: FallenGuardianAngel! Jimin, Supernatural

Members: Jimin

Pairings: Jimin x y/n

Synopsis: love is an uncontrollable feeling, even for those who were meant to protect, and only protect. Nothing more and nothing less. Yet somehow, there was always outliers.

Warnings: None really

Word count: 5.8k

A/N: Hope you all enjoy! Please like and reblog if you do!

Ch.1 | Ch.5 | Ch.7

The bus I took was pretty barren, like a desert with cactus in randoms spots, with the occasional eagle perched on it. I took my seat, somewhere in the middle, near the back. The driver took a few minutes to finish loading the luggage. As he did I got comfortable in my seat, resting my head on the window. The smell of vanilla with lavender and roses was slightly filling my space, it wasn’t strong in the slightest. As a matter of fact, the vanilla wasn't as apparent as the flowery smells. The connection Jimin and I shared was becoming apparent as well, but barely even there. “Rest your head on my shoulder.” He whispered, as if not to startle me. I felt slight panic though, I was afraid someone would see him and wonder how he got on. “Only you can see me right now, and hear me for that matter.” He reassures me as if he read my thoughts. I give a little sigh, relaxing as I rest my head on him. I’d be lying if I said I felt the same amount of warmth I felt when we first met. Everything about him from that night was starting to disappear, or lessen at least. I wondered if maybe it was because I was getting use to his presence or if it was the stress he’d mentioned before, taking its toll on him. If it was the latter, I worried for him. Even if he was a heavenly being, the fact that he had stress at all proved to me that he could be fragile too.

I entangled my hand in his, trying to return the comfort he’d giving me all this time, hoping that maybe I could act as a remedy that could get his heart beating again. “Malum.” Jimin whispered, repositioning his chin atop my head, ever so gently, it was as if he was barely pressing down. “Hm?” I hummed slightly, letting my eyes flutter shut. “You know I love you, right?” He asked, his voice was filled with more emotion than I’d ever heard anyone put into words. The suddenness of them catching me off guard, the genuine raw emotion burning through my ears, like hot iron making its way to my heart until it left a permanent mark. I didn’t know what to say, or what to do. “I…” I pushed away from him, staring up into his eyes. They were soft, not expecting anything, just hopeful. I just wasn't sure what they hoped for.

“All I want is your safety and happiness. You know that, right?” He continued. I don’t know why I’d felt so weird about it, he was my guardian, that’s what he meant when he said it. He loves me as much as any other guardian angel can love their assigned human, that’s what he meant. Nothing more to it. So why did I feel so oddly about it? “Of course.” I whispered back to him, as I noticed that the driver had finally made it in, getting ready to pull out of the station. Anyone who was remotely close to me, was wearing headphones. I could talk freely to Jimin without anyone questioning me, but I didn’t want to be louder than a whisper because the same silence would make my voice identifiable. If the driver heard me, he’d think I was crazy.

My hold on his hand tightens, as if to assure him. “I’d be lost without you.” The words escape my lips in such a breathy whisper, as I let myself rest on his shoulder again, hoping to drift into sleep even if just for a little while. His soft humming lulling me into slumber. I was supposed to be back home, at my parents house before midnight, which gave me plenty of time to rest. So I let the movement of the bus’ wheels on the concrete ground rock me, like a baby being carried by its mother on a rocking chair. Everything was so peaceful.

“We are currently 8 minutes away from our destination. Please be sure to gather all your belongings and be ready for our arrival. Don’t forget to wait for your luggage after you’ve gotten off.” The drivers announcement wakes me up. I’m thankful that he speaks in such a soft voice, saving me from being startled awake. As I regain consciousness, I realise that Jimin is gone now. My eyes look to the window to see the familiar city I’d been away from longer than I’d like. I waited for the bus driver to give me my luggage before walking into the bus station to await a taxi I'd called.

It didn't take long to arrive home from the station, nothing over 10 minutes. Which was great because I made it home with a little less than half an hour left before 12. I paid off the taxi with the remainder of the 100 dollar tip I'd received from the odd customer. I still could not believe that, that money was literally just enough to pay for my bus ticket and the taxi ride here. My head was starting to throb as I tried to explain how a simple customer, who had given me a weird nickname by the way, was able to predict what I’d go through? There was no way, he’d probably just been generous with what he decided was a fair amount to tip, and decided to write whatever?

Trying my best to put the thought aside, I knocked on my parents door and waited for them to open. I hoped I wasn't waking them, I had warned them I'd be here around this time. “Y/n! My beautiful daughter, oh you're home!” My mother says excitedly as she opens the door, pulling me into a tight hug. My father laughing behind her, bringing my suitcase inside with him. “Come on in sweetheart, you must be cold.” She ushers me inside the warm home, the one I've missed for quite some time now. Being an adult was tough, and being away from your parents for the first time was worse. I knew it was part of life, and I didn't mind it, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss being in this house. In their presence. “I've missed you both. So much.” I sigh as I hug my dad, he pats my back slowly.

“We're so glad to have you home.” He smiles down at me, kissing the top of my head. The lights are mostly off but the ones that are, are dim creating a cozy environment. “Why don't you go rest, and we’ll plan something for tomorrow in the morning.” Mom asks me as they lead me up stairs. Even though I’d slept on the way here, I’m still exhausted. So of course I nod my head in agreement as we come up to my room. “Goodnight sweetie.” My mother says as she opens my door before walking off with dad. It’s just as I left it before moving out into my apartment. My white desk with all sorts of stationary on it, sticky notes on the wall in front of it. The fairy lights I had hung all over my room still intact, I wondered if they still worked though. I laid my suitcase on the floor and opened it, bringing out my pajamas. My burgundy bed covers perfectly made, it looked so inviting. I changed quickly and got into bed, leaving my phone charging on my nightstand. My mind drifted off not too long after and I welcomed it, ready to rest.

Instead of drifting into peaceful sleep, however, my mind started to go into dreamland for the first time in awhile. Only it wasn't a dream, but a nightmare. A weird distorted image of Jimin replying in my head. Oddly enough, the strange customer who had given me the 100 dollar tip was behind him, wicked smile on his lips, horns on his head paired with dark crimson wings. The same color as the tears streaming down Jimin's face, which was contorted into a pained expression. His hands tied behind his back whispering apologizes as I tried to run towards him, but I wasn't moving, my body trapped in place. The man behind him brought his hand up, his fingers getting ready to snap. All I could hear was my agonizing screams, asking him to stop, but it was useless. He'd snapped his fingers, and flames consumed Jimin. My body shot up in my bed as hot tears slipped down my cheeks, burning like alcohol on fresh wounds. I couldn't believe I had witnessed that, even if it was just a nightmare. So vividly, it was like it had truly happened. My hand came to my throat as I tried to breathe, but it was hard as I started hyperventilating.

“Malum? Are you okay?” Jimin was quick to rush to my side, bringing me into his embrace. “I thought I'd lost you.” I manage through heavy breathing. It didn't seem like just a nightmare, if I was honest, and that scared me. I wrapped my arms around him, not wanting to let him go. Afraid that he'd be taken from me. I've only known him for half a month, but I felt like I'd known him my whole life. I hadn't realised the gravity of just how much I cared for him. The way he looked at me when I studied, his adoring smile always made me blush. How he'd always check on me, to make sure I was alright, helping me out with such meaningless things like finding my keys. The fact that he knew what I wanted, when I wanted it. All he wanted was for me to be okay, but I didn't know that all I wanted was for him to be so too. I wanted him to stay by my side for as long as I could have him.

I was afraid I was becoming too attached to him, of what my feelings for him really were. He was my guardian, and he could never be anything more. “Please say that you'll always stay.” Another stream of tears slipped down, as I couldn't imagine him being ripped away from me. He pushed back the strands of my hair, holding my face from either side, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. His eyes staring into my soul, their beautiful dark brown shade was mesmerizing. “What are you saying? I'll always stay here. With you.” He leans in, leaving a reassuring kiss on my forehead. God I hoped my nightmare as meaningless, I hoped with everything inside me that his words weren't anything but the truth.

“I just can't imagine not having you.” I sighed into his neck as he held me close. Just as I'd said that, a knock came from my door. “Honey? Is someone in there with you?” My mother's voice chimed in, somewhat muffled because of the door. A slight panic came over me as I tried to think of an excuse. “No… No, not at all. I'm just talking to myself.” I face palmed at my own excuse, I'd probably sounded crazy. Not like most people didn't do it, but no one would admit it, because it would make them sound like a lunatic.

“Are you sure? I swear a heard a man's voice.” She insists, Jimin leans back slightly, his head falling back as he giggles quietly, watching me struggle. “Oh, I'm just watching something on my phone. But did you need anything?” I ask trying to change the subject as I hit Jimin’s arm. Not that it helps, so instead I cover his mouth with my hand. “Okay, well breakfast is ready. Why don't you come down and eat with us.” She says, thankfully not mentioning it again.

“I'll be right down.” I wait for her footsteps to sound further away before I remove my hand from his mouth, giving him a stern look. All he can do is raise his hands in the air as if he wasn't sure what he'd done wrong. “You just love seeing me panic, trying to cover for you, don't you?” He chuckles shaking his head. I get up from my bed, walking to my suitcase.

“Of course not… Besides that would be bad for me.” I could tell from his tone he wasn't being serious, even though half of his sentence was true. “Just admit it. You evil man, making me struggle.” I try my best to sound serious, but the slight laugh in my tone is apparent.

“Okay, just a little.” He giggles again. I grab my shoe and fling it at him, but once I turn to look at him he's gone and in his place is the shoe I’d thrown laying on my bed. There's a slight pull at my heart, as the images of my nightmare flashback for a second. Hoping this isn't the last time I see him, I gather a change of clothes and my toothbrush. After I'd washed up and changed, I walked down to the dining table. My favorites were set up on the table, in elaborate arrangements, pleasing to the eye. I was more than ready to dig in. “Mom… You really didn't have too.” I smile at her, taking a seat. I'd missed her cooking so much, and to wake up with all my breakfast favorites was a wish come true. At the same time I didn't want her to overwork herself for me. “It's been so long since you were home. I thought it would be perfect.” She smiles, as the smell of everything makes my mouth water.

“It is, it's perfect. Thank you, mom.” I pick up my fork, taking a bite. All of the flavors coming together in perfect harmony, nothing to overpowering, but just right. A symphony of flavors bursting in my mouth. It really had been so long since I'd had her cooking. “Your mother and I were thinking of going to the science museum. The one we use to go to when you were younger. You loved that place so much, we thought it would be perfect.” Dad smiles at me, waiting to see my reaction. I nod quickly, loving the idea. I could barely remember the place, as it had been that long.

“I heard they added some new stuff, is it true?” I wondered out loud. The website for the museum had mentioned something along those lines a couple months ago, but I wasn't sure if I'd read correctly because I was multitasking as I had done it. “A colleague of mine went with her son just a few weeks ago. She said there was new additions and some changes to already existing exhibitions.” Mom explained, which made me get so much more excited for it. Both my parents were what some might call, science nerds, so naturally growing up they'd shown me related things. I grew a liking to it, of course. But I had a feeling my parents always knew it wasn’t for me. Although, to be fair I wasn’t sure what was for me.

“Well I’m excited to go! It’s been so long since we’ve done something as a family.” I smiled happily at the both of them. We finished eating soon after, mom sending me up to my room to get ready, stating that surely I had nicer clothes to wear. I laughed at her comment and agreed, a somewhat prestigious place like that wasn’t to show up in ripped jeans and a simple tee. I replaced my current outfit for a black skirt and a beige blouse tucked into it, pairing it with black boots. The car ride to the museum wasn't too long, at least it didn't feel long, but it did take close to 40 minutes. It was pretty far away from home, but we still managed to make it relatively early in the morning.

The line to get inside was pretty big, so much so that many were standing outside waiting to go in. Surprisingly so, the line moved relatively fast. More than I'd expect it to with this many people waiting. We finally made it inside and started exploring. Taking pictures here and there. As we went along we noticed all the new additions that were made. Like the electric wall that makes your hair go crazy because of negative and positive energy mixing. Or the new area that was dedicated to climate change, and the negative effects it had on the atmosphere, and the earth in the long run. Everything was just as interesting as I’d remembered it, my parents throwing big scientific words around as they explained things to me. Not that I’d understand everything, but I got the gist of it, I enjoyed listening to them happily explain things to me. Watching them enjoy it made me happy.

After some time of walking, we headed out for lunch. “Wasn’t that just amazing?” Dad asked me as he buckled his seatbelt. The both of them with big smiles on their faces. “They adore you so much. How could they not?” Jimin’s voice says from beside me, my head turns so quickly to see him seated beside me, I think I nearly gave myself whiplash. He can only laugh at me, as I try to go back to conversing with my parents. “Yeah, just how I remember it as a child. I love the climate change section they added.” I try to keep our conversation going. Which works, my parents both busy talking to each other about it now. “Did you miss me.” He asks, innocent smile across his lips, I can only shake my head at his comment. “Do you always have to startle me when I’m around people?” I giggle slightly as I whisper to him, my parents not even aware, thankfully.

“I’m sorry, I just needed to check on you. After what seemed like a nightmare this morning, I wanted to see for myself that you were alright.” His eyes are sincere, as I hold his hand in mine. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to be my guardian. “As long as you’re here, I’ll always be alright.” I couldn’t help but smile at him. I was starting to forget my parents were still in the car, because my mom was calling my name when I heard their voices again. “Hmm?” I ask her.

“I was just asking where you’d like to go for lunch.” She repeats herself. I didn't realise I completely stop listening to them, I'd only paid attention to Jimin in that short span of time. I was just so glad that he was back, because to be honest with myself, my heart had been beating irrationally this whole time. Worried he'd never comeback, I couldn't help but feel anxious. Maybe I should get use to it though, seeing as he was breaking rules letting me see him. Letting me know he exists, not that he ever mentioned it, but I was starting to realise it. “Anywhere is fine.” I smiled slowly at my mom as she nodded, my dad pulled out of the parking lot, taking us wherever. I could only look back to Jimin, trying to burn his image in my head, in case the ones upstairs decided it was time he stopped visiting me.

My parents started talking again and I commented here and there, as I did I felt Jimin’s hand leave mine. He was gone again. I fought the anxiety that was building up inside me, and tried to keep smiling for my parents. We finally made it to a restaurant we use to frequent when I was much younger. We made it in, and got seated almost immediately and just as quickly got our orders taken. “Sweetie.” My mom spoke to me, fixing her shirt.

“Yeah?” I gave her my full attention, waiting for her to say what was on her mind. “You never told us why you had the week of from both work and school.” She wondered, which she was right about, I’d only mentioned I had the week off but never explained why to her. I was still quite shocked at what was happening in school to be honest. “I still can’t believe why myself, but apparently the dean and couple professors have been money laundering with the students tuitions.” I shook my head slight as I sighed. Both my parents went wide eyed, not being able to believe it. “Money laundering?” My dad repeated as I nodded my head, insuring him that’s what I’d said. There reactions were similar to mine, when Rae had first told me.

“Yeah, Rae said that one of our professors was involved so there was a chance that by the time we went back to school, we’d have a new professors.” My mother raised an eyebrow as if saying wow. Which I agreed to. “What about work?” My dad questioned. I took a sip of my drink before answering his questions. I made a mental note to call Stephen later this week, see how he's doing. Poor guy, I could only imagine what he was going through. He'd seemed so rough the last time I'd seen him at work. “My boss gave us the week off, apparently his mother was in an accident. He just didn't want to deal with the shop, since he had to go and take care of her.” They both nodded, taking in the information.

“Poor guy, is his mother badly injured?” Mom inquiries, but frankly I didn't know. Stephen didn't give us any specifics, and I didn't blame him. He didn't have to tell us, if he wanted to keep his private life as that, private, then I was okay with that. “I'm not sure, he didn't say. He looked really stressed out though. I hope she's okay.” I sighed, I really hoped for the best for him and his family. The rest of the lunch went peacefully as we reminisced. Silly things I use to do as a child, places we'd use to go together, or short vacations we'd go on. I'd missed my parents and spending today with them was great. I felt refreshed.

That was until we'd gotten home, and I realised that I still didn't have my wallet or anything with me. Which of course I needed. I knew my parents could probably buy my ticket for me without a problem, as a matter of fact they insisted once I told them why I needed to go to the bank. But I didn't want to rely on them or their money. So, I walked to the bank that was near our house. Of course, dad argued that he could drive me, but it was in walking distance and I didn't mind. Eventually he gave up and they let me walk. The walk there was around ten minutes, which wasn't too bad, but it was chilly out so I was glad I decided to put on a sweater. I just hadn’t noticed that I’d mindlessly put on Jimin’s sweater until my mom pointed it out, before I’d left.

“Is that a man’s sweater?” She asked me, as she inspected it. I was caught by surprise, looking down at it. “Oh… I uh… I saw it at a store and really liked it. I didn’t mind that it was a man’s. Why? Does it look okay?” I asked her, trying to sound as innocent as possible. She brushed it off saying it looked nice on e regardless and walked away to the living room with my dad.

It still had his scent on it, strong vanilla with slight lavender and roses. I missed that smell. These days, his stress was making him change in all aspects. His light was dimmed, his roots turning black, his scent barely there, and our connection was weak. But his sweater reminded me of how cheerful and full of light he was when I first met him. I wished I could do something to help him get over his stress. I made it to the bank sooner than I thought, must have been because I was so caught up thinking of my guardian. “Hi, how can I help you today?” The woman behind the desk asked as she looked away from her computer screen. Her perfectly placed dark brown hair. Not a strand out of place.

“Hi, I just wanted to take out some money. I’m here on vacation, but I forgot my wallet at home. I wondering if I could do something about it?” I asked her. She smiled kindly, nodding at me, typing something into her keyboard. “Of course, do you have your ID?” She asked me, and I reached into my purse. Thankfully I had left a second ID at home with my parents before leaving to college. I got it out and handed it to the woman her took a look before typing some more. The process wasn’t as hard as I had imagined. She just asked a couple questions that seemed to be routinely. Once she’d given me my money inside a little envelope which I stuffed in my purse, I walked out. Before heading home I decided I wanted to buy some junk food from a convenience store that was close. Little did I know I’d run into David here, much less in my hometown. An odd thought that he’d been stalking me came to mind, but I remembered that he’d said he loved in a different town as well. Maybe he was here visiting as well.

“Y/n? Hey? How are you doing?” He asks, walking closer to me. I smiled at him as he leaned in for a hug. I didn’t want to be rude so I returned it. “I’m fine, I’m sorry about the other day. I really didn’t mean to just leave you there.” I sigh, feeling sorry that I’d done that to him, he didn’t do anything wrong. But I also just couldn’t be there, after what I’d gone through before that, I just needed to run away. “Don’t worry about it, I understand.” He smiles back. I nodded, walking with him through the store as we got what we needed.

“I’d like to take you out soon though, like we said that night.” He smiles, paying for his things, as I wait for him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go out with him. Leading him on wasn’t fair, and to be quite frank I don’t even know what took over me that night that made me say and agree to things I wasn’t truly feeling.

He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, how could I say no? My mind started up again, just like that night. The vacancy inside my chest coming back just as addictive yet unpleasant as before. The sudden emptiness taking my breath away. But I was quick to regain it, a little use to it. “Yeah… you know what?” I pause, thinking of what I was about to say.

Just say yes, look at those pink lips. So kissable. I need to try them. My voice was starting to become more seductive, but it was odd, didn’t sound exactly like myself. I was confused. “Let’s do it. I've been meaning to see you again.” I was confused at my own words, but I went along with them, even if I wanted to disagree, I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I couldn’t explain why either. But I did notice that everytime I spoke in such away to him, or the thoughts that I was having came to mind, the smell of lavender and roses was growing stronger.

His smile grew from ear to ear which made me do so as well. “Oh great, I’d love that. Maybe when we get back? I know the perfect place to go to. I think you’ll really like it.” He speaks as he guides me out of the store. I just nod my head, walking close to him.

“Sounds great, getting to know you better. We barely got the chance to last time,” I pout slightly, looking up at him. “and I know from the short time we spent together last time, it’ll be fun doing so.” His cheeks stained with a rosy color that I knew well enough it wasn’t from the cold breeze. “But David, you never said why you’re in town.” I wondered out loud.

“Oh, I came to pick something up from a friend who lives here. Since we have the week off school, I decided I’d stay over a little longer. Haven’t seen the guy in a couple months.” He explained with ease, and I nodded as he did, taking in the information as I walked. Relief when he explained, the thoughts of him stalking me escaping. I breathed a little more freely after that. “Are you here visiting someone too?” He questions me now.

“Uh, yeah I came to visit my parents.” I smiled, we were getting closer to the street I had to take a turn on, which meant I may have to say goodbye to David. “Oh that's right. You mentioned you lived two cities away.” His face expressing the sudden remembrance to the piece of information I'd told him that night. I giggled slightly at it, before we were interrupted.

“Malum? What are you doing?” Jimin's familiar voice calls out to me, as I hear his footsteps get closer. My mind told me to ignore him, because if I responded, David would think I was weird, talking to air. My heart dropped in a matter of seconds when David questioned me, however. “Is he talking to you?” He asked, and I realised Jimin wasn't hiding, he was making himself visible to David. I turned around to face him. I noticed the black in his hair was starting to pass being just in his roots. Was he okay?

“Ji… What are you doing here?” I stopped myself from saying his name, not wanting David to hear. Instead I questioned him on his presence, and the fact that he was openly letting David see him. “Your mother sent me out to get you, she felt you were taking too long. Was a bit worried.” He explained as he grabbed the bag from my hand. Obviously I knew he was lying, but why was he? “Let's go home, yeah?” He gestured towards my house with a slight nod of his head.

“Who is he?” David questioned, his expression was a bit bitter at Jimin, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice Jimin's sour one as well. “Uh, who are you?” Jimin retorted. My eyes going wide for a second. “This is just, uh… My neighbor, were childhood friends.” I giggled as I tried to come up with an excuse on the spot, hoping David would ignore Jimin's comment. “I really should get going now.” I smiled, I was about to hug him goodbye, but Jimin's hand slipped in mine, catching me off guard. He pulled me away towards my house, all I could do was wave at David instead, as he stood their dumbfounded. His expression growing more confused when Jimin snaked his arm around my waist and kissed near my temple. Leaving me just as confused, as I looked up at him.

I would have said something, but I was just so speechless at Jimin's actions. Once we were a couple houses away from mine, I took my bag and pushed him away. “What were you thinking?” I angrily said, as I walked away. My mom and dad were chatting in the kitchen and didn't stop to ask what they were up to, instead just announcing I was home before rushing up to my room. “What was I thinking? What about you?” Jimin's voice was a bit louder than it usually was with me, a tad bit aggressive as well. I was use to him scolding me sometimes, but even then it was sweet and calm. This? I'd never heard from him, he was so different now.

“Me? I did nothing wrong? I was talking to a friend, coming home. Until you decided to show up, and reveal yourself to him. What the hell was that about?” I fought back, my voice wanting to yell at him, but I knew I couldn't. My parents would come and ask what was going on, and that was out of the question. “Out of all people, him? After what happened a couple nights ago? I don't want you around him. Is that too much to ask? Only look at me. I've told you, you're mine,” He takes a few steps closer to me, his stare is intense, and where his usually brown eyes that had a spark of light in them use to reside, are now deep dark brown eyes that could easily be mistaken for black. An emotion I wasn't familiar with expressed in them. “I need to know you're safe.” I felt like my body was floating, my mind was not existent now, and I was losing myself inside his eyes. That was until I realised that the moment his words left his lips, the black in his hair start consuming the blonde that was left. At the same time, the little bit of light that still followed him was gone, nothing at all was left. I wasn't sure why, but I felt a piece of me leave, in that instant. A single tear fell from my eye, as I reached to touch his hair.

“What's happening to you?” I questioned, my fingers touching the dark strands. The blonde disappeared so quickly, leaving nothing behind but black hair that resembled the feathers of a raven sitting on a windowsill. My heart ached, as I wasn't sure who was standing in front of me anymore. His hand wasn't as warm as it use to be, as he wrapped it around my wrist. His soft lips leaving a kiss on my hand. “I've told you, it's just stress.” I couldn't help but think that I was the one causing him all that stress. He didn't want me around David because of what happened the last time I was with him. He was afraid I would be in danger around him. Here I was, trying to relive his stress, but I was just adding on to it.

“I'm… I'm sorry, I'll stay away from him. Just, please don't worry so much.” I needed to find a way to help him, I just wasn't sure how. “I just need to have you here with me, and everything will be okay.” He pulls me into his embrace, one that feels oddly different in a pool of familiarity.

I was his? As I let him hold me, his words came back and repeated themselves in my head. Only look at me. What did he mean?

#bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts au #bts jhope #bts jin #bts suga #bts #bts angst #bts v #bts namjoon #bts maknae line #bts hyung line #bts guardian au #bts reactions #bts yandere au #bts yandere

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alj4890 · 5 years

Text

Angst Prompt

(Thomas x Amanda) Requested by @hopelessromantic1352 with the prompt: I can't do this alone.

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda)

Masterlist

Inspired by the song, Lost by Michael Buble´. Takes place between Would You Kindly Calm Me Down and Lovely Scars.

A/N trigger warnings of longing for death and emotional trauma after a miscarriage. On a personal note, I suffered a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. Many of the things Thomas and Amanda express and think are what happened one night during my darkest moment with my husband. Amanda’s experience in group therapy was my own. I believe very strongly that therapy is beneficial with fighting depression, so please don’t take this as a form against it. But like everything in life, sometimes you have to search for the one that is right for you.

@alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @fullbeaumonty @cocomaxley @darley1101 @hopefulmoonobject @krsnlove @annekebbphotography @gibbles82 @cora-nova @bella-ca @hopelessromantic1352 . @sunflowergirl05 @pixieferry

Lost Together

Thomas pulled into the garage and placed his head against the steering wheel. He dreaded going inside. He never knew what he would find. Ever since the bombing incident, he and Amanda were going down a road he never imagined could exist.

Her many wounds were healing save for the one to her heart. The knowledge that she had suffered a miscarriage consumed her. She was withdrawing from everyone, most especially from him. She never left the house except for the mandatory doctor's appointments. It was getting to where she was a silent ghost, wandering from one room to another.

He had tried taking her for counseling. She had sat quietly through a session and answered the questions asked of her. Thomas felt hopeful when they left and shared his feelings with her. Tears fell down her cheeks and she begged him to not make her go back. "He can't understand what it feels like." She said in a sob. "I can't go back and talk about it again."

After a few weeks, Thomas tried again and took her to a group therapy session for women who had suffered a miscarriage. That one truly upset her. When he asked her how it went, she cried so hard she made herself sick. "They can't understand, because it was my body that lost our baby. Not there's! Please, don't make me sit through another one. Please." He was unable to deny her pleas as he looked at her heartbroken face.

Now here they were. Nearly two months after the incident and she was not getting better. He took a deep breath and prayed that God would give him the words to say to her. He had been trying to not leave her alone, yet he had been forced to attend a media event. It had lasted longer than planned and he had left in the middle of it to rush back to her.

He unlocked the door and set his keys on the counter. All the lights were off. He walked toward the stairs and happened to see a glint of metal outside. It was her watch. He saw a shadowy shape on one of the pool chairs and hurried to the patio. His heart cracked seeing Amanda staring into the water made black in reflecting the night sky. Tears ran in steady streams down her face. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms and chin rested on them.

Thomas knew what would happen as soon as he touched her, yet he always hoped she would turn to him and tell him what was going through her mind. He sat down behind her and placed his hand on her back. He rubbed a soothing circle as he leaned forward to ask her how long she had been outside.

Amanda wiped her cheeks and quickly moved out of reach. She said the same words she always did when he caught her like this. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see this." She walked inside and began to go upstairs.

Thomas followed her, wishing he could comfort her. If she would only allow him to hold her, he would do so without hesitation. He stood in the doorway to their room and watched her go through her nighttime routine before walking into the bathroom. She soon came out, her actions were all on autopilot as she pulled the bedcovers back and laid down on her side. She made sure to stay on the very edge of her side of the bed.

Thomas quickly undressed and climbed in beside her. He turned the light off and watched her shoulders. He knew she was waiting to leave as soon as she suspected he was asleep. The past couple of weeks, she had left him to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. It hurt him that she could not stand sleeping beside him, even when he made sure to not touch her.

Amanda stared at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand. A few more minutes and she could escape. She couldn't stand to be touched in comfort, pity, or even in love. She couldn't explain it to Thomas, but when he touched her it made the raw ache in her chest hurt to the point she could barely breathe from the pain.

Tears began to fall again unheeded as she thought of the call she had received earlier. Liam had wonderful news. He and Riley were going to have a baby. Amanda spoke the words one would when hearing this type of news. As the words of how happy she was for him left her lips, she wished she could feel the emotion. She wanted to be happy for them. She wanted it so much, yet the feeling never came. She didn't want them to not have a baby. She only wanted hers to be there also.

Why couldn't she have kept that? So many evil people had babies and either threw them in the garbage, abandoned them, or abused them. She and Thomas would have loved that little one with everything within them. Amanda would have gladly died for it. She wished she could. She would trade her life without a second thought just to have their baby here where he belonged.

Her shoulders shook as the tears fell faster with each thought. Thomas sat up and softly said her name. Amanda froze and cursed herself in her mind. She silently pleaded. Please don't touch me. It will make everything so much worse. Lord in Heaven, please make him go to sleep.

Thomas wrapped his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her temple.

She tried so hard to be still. The pain began to consume her body and mind. Her brain screamed in agony at the sweet gentle touches. I don't deserve such kindness from you. I couldn't protect your baby. I can't take it anymore. She scrambled out of his arms and went into their bathroom.

She locked the door and knelt down on the floor. She stretched out on the cool, ungiving stone and breathed easier. She pressed her cheek against the coldness and closed her eyes. The chill would numb her body somewhat. A few moments of blessed relief was all she asked from it. The floor had become her savior in never demanding anything from her. It offered no comfort. The only thing it failed to stop were her tormented thoughts.

Why couldn't I have died in the explosion or during surgery? Life would be so much better for everyone if I had. Thomas would be fine and no longer worried about me. He has so many others he can turn to and be willibg to look after him. All my loved ones have each other to lean on. I'm not needed. What good am I to any of them? There is nothing I do that matters in the grand scheme of things. Thomas would get over me quickly and find the perfect person, one with a body strong enough to protect his unborn child. If I could only die, all this would end and be made right. Thomas would be free. My friends would stop calling in concern. I would finally be out of pain. I could be with my baby.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed in the floor, but it had to be long enough for Thomas to be asleep. She quietly crept out and walked to the bedroom door.

"Amanda?" Thomas was sitting up in bed. He had wondered if she was ever going to leave the bathroom. His fear at the growing silence made him rise from the bed.

She bit down on her lip. Why isn't he asleep? Why won't he let me go? Not just out of the room, but why doesn't he leave me? I want to leave me. Surely he knows he doesn't have to stick around anymore.

Thomas stopped a couple of steps from her. "Where are you going?"

Amanda didn't turn around as she spoke. "I was going to sleep in one of the guestrooms. I feel kinda restless and didn't want to disturb you."

His shoulders relaxed. "You won't disturb me." He reached out and touched her arm. She turned swiftly and knocked his hand away. His eyes widened at her reaction.

Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm so sorry." She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't...I didn't mean to...I need to leave."

"Leave? Why? You don't need to." He felt a new kind of fear when she covered her face and shook with silent sobs.

She lowered her hands until they only covered her mouth. Her eyes met his and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. "I think we should get a divorce."

He took a reflexive step back. "What?! No. Amanda, what did I do? Or not do? Tell me and I will fix it!"

She shook her head. "No. You haven't done anything. You can't fix this. I...Thomas I'm what's broken. I don't think I will ever be right. I can't keep making you miserable. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who can give you children. I --"

His eyes narrowed at her words. "I didn't marry you for children! I don't care if you ever get pregnant again. I'm not divorcing you!"

She raised tear filled eyes to him. "Please leave me. I can't leave you. I've tried so many times. I packed my suitcase and couldn't make it out the door. I'll be able to leave if you will just tell me you don't want me. Please, Thomas. Please say you want a divorce."

"No." He said in a harsh tone. "I will do anything you ask, except that." He reached out and grasped her upper arms. "Don't ask me to do that." His voice cracked when her tears started falling and she began to sob out loud.

She grabbed handfuls of his shirt and shook him as she spoke. "Thomas, I can't do it anymore! I can't. I wish to God I had died that night. I want the pain to end so much. Dear Lord, why didn't I die?" She fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably.

Thomas got in the floor with her and tried his best to hold her as she was doubled over. "Why couldn't I have died that night?" She cried out as her sobs became louder.

"Because I need you." He told her while rubbing her back. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "I can't do any of this alone. I would be lost if you had died." He pressed a kiss to the back of her head.

After a few moments she sat up and leaned back against the door. She looked at him, utterly exhausted from everything life had thrown at her. "That's not true. You would be fine. You would have all our friends and you would find a new love quickly. I'm of no use to you or anyone right now."

He scooted closer to her and gripped her hand. "Yes, you are." He bit out. "I need you. You are everything to me. I don't want another wife. I don't want to turn to her or our friends for anything. Only you. You are the one I need to talk to. You are the only one who understands me." He looked down at their hands and loosened his grip to lace his fingers with hers. He felt a glimmer of hope when her thumb brushed the back of his hand in comfort.

Amanda closed her eyes and tried to calm her ragged breaths. After a few moments of silence, she met his stare. "I don't think I will ever get over this."

Thomas moved to sit next to her. He tentatively wrapped his arm around her shoulders. His eyes teared up when she leaned her head against him. It had been so long since she had voluntarily touched him. He cleared his throat. "Maybe we aren't supposed to get over it."

She looked up at him, her anguish nearly causing him to crush her to him in an attempt to absorb her pain. "But the ladies of the grief group said I am supposed to. They said I shouldn't feel this strongly about it because it was barely there anyway. One woman even said it was just like a blood clot." Her tears fell again as she recalled their callous words when she had broken down and cried in front of them.

He frowned and held her closer to him. "We will do what we need to in order to endure this." He pressed his lips against her forehead. "We will take it one day at a time."

Her hopeful expression that he could possibly help crumpled. "I have been trying to take it one day at a time. It isn't working." She started to withdraw physically from him and he pulled her back.

"You were trying. This time you will have me to lean on when it gets too much for you. If day to day is too hard, then we will try hour by hour, minute by minute. Whatever you need, I will be right there with you. If you need to cry, not talk, talk, whatever you need at any time of the night or day, I will do."

"Why?" Her voice cracked. "It would so much easier on you to walk away from me."

Thomas smoothed her hair back from her face. "I love you. I can't leave you."

She let him hug her for a moment before standing up. He got to his feet and watched her go quietly into the bathroom. He heard the water running and sat down on the bed. He wiped his eyes and waited. Amanda came back out after washing her face and laid down on her side of the bed. Thomas stretched out beside her.

Once the light was off, he watched her toss and turn before settling on her side. She bit her lip and looked over her shoulder at him. "Would you hold me for a little while?" She whispered.

She gasped at how quickly he was behind her with his arm around her. Her raw ache still hurt horribly but she felt the comfort from his touch, for the first time in such a long absence, intertwined with the pain. She scooted back closer against him. As exhaustion took its toll on her, she turned her head some toward him. "I love you, Thomas."

He tenderly kissed her cheek. "I love you." He closed his eyes and thanked God that she had finally talked to him. Had turned to him. He prayed asking for the ability to help her out of the darkness that had held her captive for months.

Amanda silently thanked God for giving her Thomas. Please help us to not become lost together in the darkness."

#choices red carpet diaries #choices rcd #choices fanfic #choices thomas hunt #thomas hunt x oc #thomas hunt x amanda #writing prompt #love and angst

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zeldadeservesbetter · 5 years

Text

Coffee With The Gals (And Some Shooty Shoots)

((So this is another one that happened in my gameplay. Tbh it's a really good plot and i need some fluff because last night i was vv sad with Arthur's Breaking Point. So here's the concept picture(s), enjoy!))

((Sorry if some of them are blurry, i use my phone camera because im at my dads house rn))

For the past few weeks, Arthur had been working hard. Instead of stealing and robbing, he'd found a new hobby that he enjoyed. He would go out and pick herbs and make poultices with them, along with elixirs that kept people in generally good health. Half went to camp, and the other half he'd sell. He didn't make a lot of money doing it, mainly because he always found himself giving the mixtures to those who were poor or homeless and couldn't afford it.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Arthur actually felt good about himself. Everyone in Valentine and Rhodes adored him, and he found himself being flustered by local women a lot often than he used to. A caring generous man seemed to be what everyone wanted.

He knew everyone in camp could tell the difference in his attitude, he was almost always helping with chores and smiling constantly, and that in general helped the Van Der Linde gang get their hopes up and be happy again.

Dutch had pulled Arthur aside one day, telling him he needed to take a break and just relax for a day, and that they would do all the hard work and bring in some money for camp.

Eventually, Arthur agreed and trudged off to bed, finally realizing how tired he actually was. It was amazing, he was so happy and full of joy for the first time that he hadn't really noticed he had been working himself too hard.

Collapsing on his bed, Arthur almost instantly fell asleep, hat draped over his head and his arm dangling off the side of his cot as he snored rather loudly.

The next morning, Arthur woke up with a loud yawn, stretching his arms. Almost immediately he was ready to go out and pick herbs, but quickly remember today was his "day off".

Smiling as he grabbed his coffee cup, Arthur walked over to the stew pot where the coffee was, mumbling a brief "good mornin' " to Tilly, Abigail, and Sadie, who were all sipping their hot cups of coffee, their faces bright for the first time since they got a new camp. In fact, he never really saw Sadie happy until just now.

"Morning Arthur." Abigail said with a smile, sipping her coffee.

"Morning Abigail. You always did like a nice cup of coffee." Arthur commented as he poured himself a cup, sipping on it quickly as he stood up.

"Nothin' like it." Abigail replied, taking a sip herself.

After a moment of silence and quiet sipping, Tilly had cleared her throat to speak.

"So Arthur, what's your secret to being so happy? I ain't ever seen someone smile as much as you do." She had asked, smile ever present on her face as she spoke.

"Ah, just pickin' herbs and makin' miracles, that's all." Arthur said, half-joking but at the same time it wasn't completely false. He had plenty of people come up to him saying that his stuff really worked and saved their lives. Huh, maybe he could become a doctor.

"That's all? You are one mysterious man Arthur Morgan." Sadie said with a chuckle, setting her cup down. "Well folks, I hate to be the first to leave but Dutch needs me on a mission. See y'all later!" She said, patting Arthur's shoulder as she walked away, waving goodbye.

"You know I watched that woman take down an entire flock of raiders without getting a scratch on her?" Arthur said, looking back to Abigail and Tilly, who were giggling softly at Arthur's remark.

"Yeah, she's definitely a brute, but she's smart too. I can't tell you how many times I've seen her threaten Pearson." Abigail piped in, causing all three of them to laugh once more.

These were the times that Arthur truly cherished, the times he wanted to hold onto and never let go. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work like that.

After a few moments of casually talking about their lives and what was happening, Arthur had decided he really needed to go somewhere to rest his weary bones and have a good nights sleep.

Saint-Denis really seemed like the only viable option, he wasn't wanted there, and maybe he could sell some of his "magic serum" there, and make a lot of money too. After explaining to the girls what he was going to do, they had already filled in some requests for him. He was very close with the women in camp, so he was sure he was going to get them all something along with Jack.

Packing up some things and changing his outfit, Arthur said goodbye to everyone in camp and headed off, taking only a rifle and his cattleman revolver since he didn't plan on killing anyone this time around.

Not even an hour into riding to Saint-Denis was he stopped at a bridge, by none other than the Lemoyne Raiders, who were armed with a small militia, and Arthur only had his two flimsy guns.

"Well lookie here, its that Van Der Linde boy, all alone with nothing to protect himself." One of the raiders said with a smirk, hopping down off of his horse to walk up to Arthur's, whistling with furrowed eyebrows as he checked the contents of his bag.

"Damn, it looks like he's carrying enough meds to heal the army! Haha, we'll be taking your trusty steed from you, but don't worry- we don't kill horses. Just men." The raider said, cocking his gun, ready to shoot Arthur if needed.

"Goddamn you monsters! You ain't taking jack shit!" Arthur cursed, his breath hitching as a gun was placed under his chin.

"Watch your mouth or I'll blow it to shreds." The raider said, causing Arthur to nod slightly as a man came over and took his horse away, walking it out of view.

"Well then, i think we're done here." The raider had said, smirk still present as he pulled the gun away and put it back in the holster.

Within the blink of an eye, Arthur had pulled his revolver up, firing five different shots, each killing a raider, including the one that was just threatening him, so only three remained.

"Holy shit! He killed Danny! Take his horse and run!" One of the raiders said, and before Arthur could reload his revolver a few separate shots were fired at him, one hitting him in the leg, causing him to scream out in pain and fall to the ground, hyperventilating as pain shot throughout his entire body.

"Goddammit! Why do I ever decide to leave camp?!?!" He cursed, shakily taking a bottle of his cure out of his satchel, dumping half of it on his wound, and downing the rest in hopes it would at least dull the pain.

Gasping, Arthur sat up and pulled himself out of the main trail, his wounded leg completely limp.

"well... Nothing to do now except wait for some poor soul to come by." He grumbled, propping his hand on his knee and resting his head.

".... Goddamn raiders...."

((So this legit happened to my poor Arthur right after i left camp drinking coffee with Tilly and the gals. Some godamn raiders stopped me at a bridge and they nearly got me, then i shot the guy robbing me and threw a stick of dynamite at them, and low and behold in the shootout they killed my horse. I killed them all, but i was rlly low on health and didn't have jack shit to cure it but this potent health cure which didn't even replenish my cores just upped them for a bit... Lmao so then i just sat there and waited for someone to pass by while slowly walking [my stamina was out to. Worst goddamn luck] and eventually after 30 minutes some guy passed by and i called him out then stole his horse and rode all the way to Saint-Denis, sold it, bought a new horse, and stocked up on supplies. You're welcome 😂😂😂))

#dutch van der linde arthur morgan #arthur morgan #lemoyne raiders #reddead2 #rd2 #red dead redemption 2

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