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blankdblank · 4 years

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Ridikulus Pt 25

…

** In Rohan **

Through the door Thranduil traveled after rinsing off and redressing to his status again, drawing the eyes of the Men around the overlook at his arrival from the curious lone door. A steady inhale later the King walked alone into the open main hall where he found the Rohirric Lords comparing their dress robes for the evening ahead. Grins spread on their faces when they turned to welcome the Elf King bowing their heads to him before Thengel approached asking, “King Thranduil, come to greet us on your own? We had hoped to see your new Queen in the sunlight confirming if her blue hair was a result of our mead.”

Thranduil replied steadily, “My Queen is at home with her daughter and newborn brother while her family celebrates the finalization on the construction of Dale.”

Thengel raised a brow, “A daughter? How old we have a fine bunch of ponies we could add to the mix of her gift.”

Thranduil smirked replying, “Nearly two, in August, I believe.”

Thengel, “Yours?”

Thranduil, “No. Her former fiancé.” Raising the Man’s brow, “He was a comfort to her in the wars they escaped by falling here. He has since remarried and just had four children birthed by his new bride the other day.”

“Four?” Thengel rasped out and Thranduil nodded, “He has not cast off the Queen’s-,”

Thranduil shook his head, “No, in fact she gave her blessing on their union and treasure each other’s friendship in raising their child.”

Thengel was unable to keep from smiling, “Too young for a pony then,”

Thranduil, “However three young boys are also in her charge. All amply sized for a pony of their own.”

Thengel’s smile deepened, “How are the Queen’s stables? Our herds do demand a certain maintenance to their dwellings as you know.”

Thranduil, “In truth, the Queen has only ridden three times,” dropping Thengel’s jaw, “My Elk twice and Lord Glorfindel took her on patrols with him on his horse.”

Thengel, “Is that due to her status in her old home?”

That drew all eyes to him making the Men group closer in shock. “Her life was greatly limited to the city, far more like Gondor than Greenwood or Rohan. She was limited to traveling on her Dragons.”

Thengel, “Dragons?”

Thranduil nodded, “She has two sharing her home. Part of why she was chosen to aid in reclaiming Erebor.”

Lord, “They would not be crossing into our borders would they?”

Thranduil shook his head, “No, her Dragons abide by strict laws. All but her two dwell in their chosen dwellings in the Mountains of Angmar, which were cleared of all other former dragons unwilling to abide by their laws, mainly all of them. The pair do not leave her lands, rarely leave her home in fact.”

Halmar, the Man that you had punched with a telling black bruise on his cheek asked, “Why would they not leave her home?”

Thranduil, “They were taken from their nests, she rescued them and granted them safety.” His hand stretched out to the Lord offering him the candy eyeing the bruise on his face, “My Queen asked me to offer you this, to heal your face.”

He blinked a few times then accepted the candy stating, “I cannot see how this will heal my face.” Eyeing the shining wrapper on the square candy.

Thranduil, “Unwrap it and eat it.”

Halmar eyed it then found the seam in the wrapper before unwrapping it and timidly placing the candy in his mouth and swallowed it then tried to ignore the tingling in his face just moments before Thengel gripped his chin and turned his face. All at once the bruise lightened and faded away as well as the swelling around his eye making the Men gasp then glance at the Elf King who merely raised a brow when Thengel asked, “Simply a schoolteacher?”

Thranduil smirked replying, “As I said, it is a school for Isitari. Who also happens to own a shop with her twin brothers selling healing tonics and defense items now moved to Dale.”

Thengel smirked stating, “We shall have to reconsider our choices for steeds then, something far finer must be chosen.”

Thranduil drew in a breath stating, “That is why I am here. My Queen shared her favorite breed discovered in books from her former home and I hoped to aid in the search.”

Thengel grinned taking a few steps close to Thranduil peering up at him then said, “We should get searching then. And we should also discuss possible dates for our young ones to get together.” He glanced at his Cousin’s face, “Your Queen is quite lax on those who insult her. We had imagined your passing on her demands for greater punishment.”

Thranduil smirked, “You will find my Queen to be quite, surprising. I doubt your Cousin intended to insult her.”

Thengel nodded with a chuckle, guiding him to the open enclosures in the pastures around the small city filled with various breeds of horses and ponies. “He never does.”

When they stepped out to the overlook into the open breeze again Thranduil stated, “Besides, considering her people were at war not two months past insults were often followed by attacks,” parting Thengel’s lips again, “Restraint and evening tempers are becoming more common by the day. Very rarely is she quick to harm others out of being provoked into it. Our temperaments at first were quite at odds to be honest. Such varied cultures we grew from.”

Thengel chuckled answering, “I can imagine,” glancing off to the path Ted had helped a group of Men down to aid in repairing an old fence hours prior hoping he would return soon not to miss the chance to return to his lost family.

Thengel asked at the edge of the largest enclosed pasture, “What sort of horse does your Queen prefer? A racer, a dazzler, or would demeanor win out over beauty and speed?”

Thranduil brought out your sketch Thengel looked over in awe at the trotting marvel of a sketch, “Feathered hooves and speckled coat are the breed’s main attributes. I have never witnessed one myself, but if I could find one close enough I am certain she would adore it all the same.”

Thengel grinned peering at the King, “Speckled and feathered? Is she aware feathered breeds are known for their strength, not speed?”

Thranduil glanced at him, “I do not believe so, but either way she shares our Elven weightless qualities. That should ease a difference, though we will not be racing our steeds, merely easing her into caring for a steed, a work horse should aid that greatly.”

Thengel nodded, “Yes. It should.” He motioned his had guiding Thranduil over towards the smaller pasture with the taller stockier breeds. “You are in luck, our fences broke year before last’s breeding season, nearly doubled our herd for carriages, wagons and tilling. A few unique coats have appeared in our herds again from it.”

Instantly Thranduil’s eyes shifted from the dark brown and black horses shifting to allow the pair past on to the tan and grey horses before a trio caught his eye with the younger being nudged away from the larger of the three, “Those three, would one be available?”

Thengel grinned stating, “The elders are our plow pullers. Are not overly friendly in how the Easterners treated them. Even to their granddaughter. We just started socializing her with the bridle and back straps last month, should adjust fairly easily to a saddle.” He grinned as Halmar moved at Thengel’s signal and nod to guide her away from the herd into the stables to be washed and primped for being measured for a proper saddle set later. “Now, those boys, we have some nice sturdy spirited ponies, should remain a decent size for them to handle even if they are Elven boys.” Thranduil glanced over catching his amused smirk, “Also speckled, though in white and brown.”

Thranduil turned his head watching the pen of ponies trotting around and eyed the trio he was referring to, “They should do nicely.”

Thengel nodded and patted him on the back, “I am glad. And should you ever find yourself in need of another steed, or if your Queen has trouble rearing her mare or ever wishes to breed her let us know.”

Thranduil nodded then turned watching the trio also be taken to be bathed while over hearing the conversation of the Men in the stables.

Halmar sighed brushing the Mare’s mane free of any debris, “I just cannot manage it.”

Hamma his Brother gripped his shoulder gaining his attention, “You can do it, you just have not found the right woman.”

Halmar, “Each woman so far has struck me or left cursing me.”

Hamma’s brow twitched up in an idea, “You always treat the horses better than the women you converse with.”

Halmar, “Hamma, that-..”

Hamma raised his hand, “Hear me out. Simply try imagining the woman you are speaking to is a horse and see if it goes better. You just need to get past that first interaction and I am certain you will manage a courtship.”

Halmar sighed again, “I will try.”

The sight of a returning wagon made Thengel smirk and after a cunning stop to show off the Queen’s sketch the break was just enough to grant Ted enough time to rush up the steps after the Elf King a pair of Men had spent the past few minutes trying to flag the exhausted blonde down to notice. Inside the main hall however Thranduil stated to Thengel, “Should your own Queen require aid in her birth do not hesitate on sending us word. The returned Isitari do have quite extensive healing potions and medical knowledge should her discomfort grow.”

Thengel’s grin deepened and he shook the Elf’s hand, “I thank you, and your Queen for the offer. I shall share word with her, allowing her own judgment on the matter. Our own Healers have been slaving to her comfort as they should, we all wish for healthy child and mother as always. It is pleasing to hear your kin have so many children to fawn over,” smiling wider as he lifted his little girl to his hip, “If only your Queen’s daughter was older,”

Thranduil chuckled lowly nodding his head in return to the girl’s accepting the flower she offered him, “Princess Em is almost to your dear sunshine’s size,” parting the Man’s lips, “Their children age closer to Men’s, she will soon be in want of a pony of her own to join her new brothers. By all means, bring along your Princess if you wish, she will not be in want of friends.”

Thengel chuckled again, “Good to hear, safe travels.” Bowing his head in Thranduil’s turn back to the overlook and waiting door. Straight up to the distracted Elf King a tall blonde raced after him with eyes darkening from blue to their natural brown.

Tonks in her own determined race inhaled sharply to shoot up the final set of steps to the link to her home and family now being used by that oddly familiar broad shouldered blonde. A subtle pat of her pocket assured her hidden bag was in place and after the King she raced when a familiar doorway opened.

Her hand on the door held it from closing making the blonde pause with a flinching grin seeing the tall blonde shift to a short pink haired woman who latched onto his chest tightly. “I don’t know you, but, thank you! I’ve been looking for this door everywhere!” In her pull back she missed his full blush looking over the stranger who just hugged him noticing the group of Men watching open mouthed, “Wait, how do I know you…Never mind, thank you!” Darting away through the short hall into a garden surrounded clearing she hurried.

The small circle she turned in ended with Lindir saying with a bow of his head, “Queen Jaqi.”

Turning around his lips parted noting the similar features on the vastly different woman making his cheeks begin to prickle at his mistake, and Tonks asked, “You know my cousin? Where is she?”

Lindir wet his lips and pointed to the set of archways making her smirk and trot over inspecting the markings, the one she believed to take as your chosen plot of land for your home she raced through.

Chuckling to herself she crossed the vast stretch of green to the distant Black Manor growing closer by the step. Straight through the gate she shot and the front door after, leaving her muddy boots by the door to skid her way up to the nursery. Wide eyed Draco on his brief watch while you were changing looked up, trying to settle his own thoughts on how to bring up the necklace he had made for Astoria as a marker of their next step towards a possible proposal in the future. Their future all the brighter after the effects of her blood curse had ceased entirely along with those of the Lycan infected Wizards.

His mouth dropped open in Tonk’s lean over the first crib to smile at groggy Teddy who reached up instantly in seeing her, “Mum,” Up to her chest she lifted the boy cradling him in her arms.

Draco, “Where-,” He stepped closer giving her a gentle hug.

When they broke apart she answered, “I landed near Rohan.”

Draco, “Do they have horses? Jaqi kept hearing horses in her dreams lately and she just traveled there last night.”

“They do. And had I not been detained in Gondor trying to see maps to find you lot and where you might have set up. Remus is here?”

Draco wet his lips and turned to the doorway seeing you enter mumbling, “Tonks.” She turned and in a teary eyed hug the three of you melted into until Molly entered squeaking and sputtering demanding her own hug stirring a wide eyed gaze over the usually off put family friend to her exuberant ways until Tonks smiled at you and Draco motioning your hands around your bellies explaining her overly emotional ways.

Comfortably in shorts and a sideways baggy t shirt you raised Fin from his crib parting Tonks’ lips making her point and say, “Now, I have not been gone nearly long enough for any of you to have had a baby!” In a weak giggle at Draco’s hurrying off to join Astoria for the celebration in Dale when you reminded him of the time she listened to you on all about Romilda and Harry and everything else while you settled the little ones in the theater and gathered ample snacks for yourselves and she cried out, “Remus is Minister?!”

Through the open hall Thranduil watched the Men dart inside shouting, “Ted’s a woman! With pink hair!” Inhaling sharply the Elf King’s heart began to thunder and his eyes prickled at his step into the darkened hall closing the door off behind himself freeing a tear to streak down his cheek. A single moment in an unwelcome and uncalled for embrace of a stranger had tarnished his promise to be entirely yours and never touched by another. Now he had to go and break the news to you and beg for your forgiveness and accept the vast step back in your favor and trust he would have to win back again.

In your weak giggle Em gasped and climbed down from the couch making you turn to the door seeing her rush to Thranduil calling out, “Dew Drop!” Hugging his leg tightly only making another tear fall down his cheek in her look under his robe and behind him for the boys or Legolas. “No boys?”

Lowly you mumbled patting Molly’s arm, “I’ll be back, start without me.”

She nodded and as you stood walking over with Fin’s sling secured across your chest his eyes rose from Em to you in another inhale and you said, “Em, the boys are with their Gran, maybe we can invite them over for the next film. How’s that?” She nodded and you patted her back saying, “Enjoy the film, be back in a bit.” Quickly she darted to the couch and in a quick wave from Tonks his lips parted seeing her holding Teddy then his gaze fell to your hand in his guiding him down the hall. Silently dreading the recoil of your touch from his hand once you heard how he had been tarnished but he made certain to release your hand once you were alone.

Into the empty sitting room you led him and he asked in his unsettling rise of his panic once again, “That woman?”

“My cousin,” you giggled out, “She didn’t tell you? She said she was in Rohan all this time, I thought you’d had met.” Another tear fell down his cheek and you stepped closer asking, “What’s wrong?”

Sharply he inhaled and said, “Perhaps we should sit,”

He moved over to the nearest fainting couch and sat down peering up at you as you stepped closer, “No one’s sick?”

He shook his head, “No,”

“No one’s hurt?”

In a slightly weakened tone he replied, “No.”

“Then why are you so upset?”

“Please sit, what I have to say, is quite, vexing,” In a soft sigh you moved to curl a leg up and sit across his legs he closed to secure your seat while your hands settled on Fin’s back at his slumbering grumble.

“What’s wrong?”

Timidly in a low tone he spoke, “I was to return from Rohan, when I found myself-, no.” he cleared his throat, “It appears your cousin has not been entirely truthful in our meeting. I do detest having to correct the matter, and call her statement into question. However the truth must be spoken.” Your eyes delved into his seeing true hints of fear in them, “I passed through the door your cousin held open, there was a man, who turned into a woman. For a moment I had imagined it might have been you, with her bright hair. Only,” after a moment’s pause he stated, “She embraced me,” Your brow twitched up a moment and he swallowed saying, “I am prepared to do what is necessary to return to your good favor and pay for the transgression. I am thrown entirely at your mercy.”

Inhaling steadily you looked his face over and you asked, “Entirely at my mercy?” To which he nodded and you shifted your right leg over his to straddle his lap stating, “Alright then, if you are expecting punishment then close your eyes.” He did and you rolled your eyes in a grin splitting across your face you took a moment to control again and ease your fingertips across his cheek parting his lips slightly while his mind whirled at what you would do and his eyes had to be shut.

All the same firmly your lips met his and ensuring Fin wasn’t disturbed your hand aided his head in tilting to continue the kiss he melted into with another tear streaking down his cheek. The sudden dart of your tongue between his lips parted his eyes for a moment only to clamp his eyes shut again in the glide of your fingers into his hair at the back of his head urging his arms around your hips to keep mindful of the boy. A stunned groan came from the King’s parted lips at the start of a pant for air and his eyes opened but nearly shut again at the plant of your lips against his cheek as your fingers trailed along the side of his neck under his collar.

Breathlessly you stated ghosting your lips along his cheek, “You brought my cousin home to her son and Remus. And you expect me to punish you for that?”

“She embraced me,”

“As she should have,” you added with another press of your lips just in the corner of his jaw. “If she hadn’t, trust me I would have tackled you for it in a hug of my own.”

When your face came back into view his eyes sank to your lips and hungrily his lips found yours gaining a muffled giggle at his tongue delving to tangle with yours again in his hand nestling in your hair in return. For a few glorious moments he relished the enamored expression of lust and adoration for you and gladly withdrew at the next grumble of the child between your chests. His eyes fell to the strands of hair you pulled from his across his chest out of Fin’s face to lay over Thranduil’s back. The continued downward glance of you from allowed him to steal a press of his lips to the tip of your nose followed by another gentle kiss on your lips.

Lowly he hummed a breath from your lips, “I will never betray you.”

A swipe of your thumb across his cheeks had you saying, “I know that. And next time a relative of mine tries to hug you and you don’t want them to just fake a sneeze,” making him smirk as you giggled to yourself, at Em’s call for the opening credits ending he stole another kiss and helped you up onto your feet.

“My Darling Starlight, I shall leave you to your night in.”

“Hopefully not very long, don’t forget Em asked if the boys might come by, Leg too for the next film if they can. I know Taule has them. I do hope she won’t mind.”

Thranduil chuckled to himself, “I will fetch you the boys. She will love your films. No doubt it would grant me a chance to spend the evening with her myself while Glorfindel aids in some minor hiccups in our new patrols in Amon Lanc.”

“That bad?”

He sighed softly, “If it keeps up I might have to move myself back there and allow Legolas charge of the Northern Palace.”

With a sigh you replied, “Well, if it ever gets too bad, I could always move the North a bit more South,” making him smirk again.

“Or perhaps,” he smirked with a plot in his gaze, “I might extend an invitation to young Haldir to help whip them into line. Often I have caught whispers in my stay in Lothlorien on how tedious the patrols had been even before your barriers. Far from troubling, mind you, to keeping his courtship to your sister.”

“It is your kingdom, if it would help and Celeborn and Haldir wouldn’t mind I don’t see the trouble. I hope I could be more helpful.”

With a smirk he replied, “If need be I will give Lindir his wish and move him out as well.”

“He wants to move?”

Thranduil kissed your lips again and stole a brush of his finger against the top of Fin’s curl coated head saying, “All to be closer to your astounding family. Enjoy your night.”

Back to your spot you went leaving the King to his plotting with Fin and Em settled against you until the boys hurried in and scrambled to join you. Lasting for another two films before they fell asleep and Legolas helped Tonks carry the boys up to a spare bedroom beside yours with two Queen sized beds inside next door to the nursery at the rumble of a threatening storm outside. Looking around the Prince grinned accepting the offer to sleep there as well if he wished, gladly reclining in the cozy home free of being woken from any odd sounding commotion in the prepping for the upcoming celebration. Here he could help you with the little ones and allow his father and grandmother ample time to reconnect.

True he did love having his father’s attention as he always had, and having siblings to threaten that should have bothered him, at least until you had fallen into their lives. Awkward and curious, surely you wouldn’t be his mother, but already he felt such affection for you and absolutely adored how you had striven to protect the boys and even his wishes not even mentioning with Em. Always considerate of his own time with and dependence upon his father, even encouraging Thranduil to be publicly open with affections for his oldest son. The embodiment of the woman he had hoped and dreamed up for his father to aid in rebuilding their kingdom and help their people thrive while possibly making his father happy again, now so much more than all he had dreamed up.

He had hoped for the infamous One to arrive but more siblings, and such a number of them was never assumed. Even in having to wait until they were fully grown he loved them all the more as it reminded him of all he had experienced and dreamed at their ages. Out of his outer shirt and boots he laid in the bed grinning at the trio asleep in the bed across from his while hearing you reading Em to sleep in the nursery next door, steadily feeling his eyes droop shut as well to the story he hoped to finish later.

The ages parting the King and his mother had all but faded away sharing all that had passed between them. Even in the separation of father and son as well as husband and wife they had found comfort that Elves had returned and there could be hope to see him again if he and the Valar had so chosen for him. It did nothing to dim the future the new fully bustling kingdom had shown promise in bringing a great peace for all of the realms in this new beginning.

While the night grew on Taule claimed another tight hug bidding her son good night to sleep and ready for the next day she treasured the thought of watching the trio of boys soon to be added as her grandsons. It was shocking to hear how shortly you had been courting but all the same the group of children helped to bolster hope for a speedy union between you three to offer some stability in the family unit allowing her a chance to grow closer to your daughter as well.

In her absence a midnight stroll found Celeborn guiding Tindi through her evening stroll with her last feeding before bed and Thranduil grinned glancing down at the grunting girl folding her hand around her father’s fingers in his turn to greet his friend. A bow of his head had Celeborn stating, “Lovely night Thranduil.”

“It is,” he said reaching out with a grin to cover the girl’s bared shimmering foot with her shifted nightgown keeping a butterfly from landing on it. “Last feeding for the night?”

“Yes, our little Tindoome is feeding quite well and has gained a pound already. Her infancy shall be blessedly brief.” After another glance at her he eyed his friend asking, “Is something troubling you or has your Naneth gone to bed in hopes of preparing another day for your young Princes?”

“I am not troubled, I did however wish to propose an offer to one of your March Wardens.”

Celeborn chuckled stating, “Haldir no doubt. I had wondered on your new patrols. If need be do not question you have use of the three Sons of Halmir to aid in your trainings. Our patrols are quite solidified with ample guards from the First Age to remind our new recruits of the process. Plus, I must admit that I find this circumstance as a place to encourage the move as well to place him closer to his young One. How is the courtship faring of the young Lady, it is Lady? She is sister to Queen Jaqi.”

Thranduil wet his lips and answered, “In the least Lady, though in their old world they were adamant they held no titles, past Jaqi’s and even that is arguable in her stance. Hermione is counted by the Dwarves as a Lady in her relation. For my own notice I do believe young Ginny is comforting to another union again. Their family seems quite at ease in offering Haldir the chance to prove himself to Ginny as a suitor.”

Celeborn glanced at him, “Truly? Hmm, I had imagined courting a sister to a Queen would be quite a difficult feat.”

Thranduil chuckled lowly, “As did we all. I myself imagined it to take quite a greater amount of time to win Jaqi’s favor myself, yet I imagine it boils down to her family belief, ‘there is always room for love.’ It must have been quite a harrowing war to cling so tightly to the light of a new beginning seemingly without fear.”

“I doubt it is without fear. Quite to the contrary I would imagine. I recall the expressions of the men upon our arrival to Rivendell, so similar to those with the Durins, all those terrified children, so long since waking here, even Tindoome, so much fear. I can hardly put her down after her parting so soon with her former family. The loneliness, our Ones, it must be a comfort from such years of uncertainty on whom you are bound to.”

Thranduil sighed, “That did puzzle me. Her dreams, so many on us and the unions of others and to still be so timid, so uncertain, it is agitating to know a fraction of what they have endured. Even Teddy, shift your expression too swiftly and they grow frightened. To seem so happy then one moment of irritation and they would be in tears… All of them to struggle so much and still find so much joy enough to have their children be so troubled by a single scowl. I do not doubt in the short time you have housed her young Tindoome has grown far more certain of her home.”

Celeborn, “Oh yes, it is merely my uncertainty, I will calm. How is your bonding with the young Princess Em?”

Thranduil smirked replying, “She has named me Dew Drop.” Making Celeborn and himself chuckle, “Embraced my leg when I arrived, oh, upon returning from Rohan I discovered Remus’ wife Tonks, well, she discovered me and used the doorway to return to her son Teddy. I imagine Remus is quite pleased to have her back, Teddy was beyond elated, she has bright pink hair.”

Celeborn, “Ah, true to Jaqi’s statement then. Are they quite similar?”

“Jaqi is taller, Tonks’ eyes are brown, she seems more similar to Sirius than Jaqi. Though it is not surprising, Sirius stated she takes more after her Naneth in appearance. But in first glances they are similar, I had imagined it was Jaqi until she stepped back. At least from what I know she was the last lost in the awakening here, with only a single Wizard they deem foolish off exploring on his own.”

Celeborn, “Exploring where?” Thranduil shrugged, “Hmm, I will keep any notice of odd travelers at the forefront of any interactions with the Men.” In a glance to a distant stream he mentally called out to Haldir in his stroll from the archery grounds to his home who turned and joined the Lords and at the offer gladly raced off to share the news with his brothers of their offer. They would keep their family home and commute to Amon Lanc to head the patrols in the morning with his brothers. All of them old enough to remember the old routes and routines to help ease things back into order.

Pt 26

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shesakillerkween

X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf, @pastelhexmaniac

Ridikulus- @long-cosmos-overhead, @partoftheminfamily, @alishlieb

#Glorfindel x Reader OC #Thranduil x Reader OC #HP Crossover

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shxdowoforre · 6 years

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((I made a banner! A basic one for my basic ass self but it helps organize things still! Now then, today’s headcanons are--))

TEAM SNAGEM HEADCANONS

(and how Snagem affected Wes)

A thank you to @tenderpoison for making me think of doing this. Because, honestly, I completely forgot that I had barely made any hc’s for Snagem! So it let me think a lot about how stuff worked there.

Snagem was founded by Gonzap and they were independent at first. Essentially just a bunch of bums from Pyrite, The Under, and any other asscrack in Orre were what comprised the members.

It was founded because, as stated on my base list of Orre hc’s, Orre’s government is a shithole and so was the economy, and Gonzap and co. wanted some damn money.

They literally stole anything and everything at first. Anything they needed for survival, or once they became stronger, anything they wanted. They stole shit. That’s just about their whole deal.

When they discovered the black market for Pokemon was hot in Orre because of its competitive battle scene is when they decided to focus on stealing mainly Pokemon. Stealing anything became kinda risky business when they tried stealing from a Trainer with ridiculous Pokemon because he battled the Colosseums all the time. ‘Cause at first there weren’t many of these types, but as the competitive battle scene picked up they were everywhere. And everyone wanted to win, and they’d pay top dollar for fighting machines.

Now, Snagem’s members had pretty decent Pokemon themselves, but they were nothing like the Orre Trainers’. They had trouble stealing any until Gonzap had to personally step up and crush some dudes to get the ball rolling. Because Gonzap is the only one who actually trained up his own Pokemon when he saw the Trainers getting tougher.

Even after this, the Snagem members Pokemon didn’t get much stronger, and they often borrowed some stolen Pokemon on loan from Gonzap to get stuff done or, more commonly, they instead taught their Pokemon moves to turn them into trolls. Status moves like Sleep Powder, Smokescreen, Swagger, etc. They began relying on these moves to KO the Trainer and just take their Poke Balls rather than deal with a tough battle. Quicker, easier, why not?

Plenty of Snagems members didn’t even steal though, because they're lazy asses. These guys would hang round the base and just laze on the couch or be general mechanics/contractors.

Snagem’s HQ is a janky hovel, but it’s tough to breach. The canyon helps a lot with providing defense, but the stolen pieces that comprise the whole place are still pretty sturdy. Orre tech in general can be as advanced as Aether’s, so with that stolen stuff they can still have a pretty tough fortress.

If you get through the front door, you then have to deal with all the crowds of Snagem dudes that will rush your ass when they discover an intruder. See: Pokemon Colosseum opening. No matter how tough your Pokemon are, Horde Battles are a bitch, and Snagem does not follow standard battle rules.

In addition to the HQ, Snagem had several points of territory across Orre that they enforced and kept other smaller gangs off their turf. There were no other set bases besides maybe the abandoned house of the day.

For the internal hierarchy of Snagem members, it started a little like this.

1. Courier/Frontman: You’re not so much a member of Snagem as you are just somebody they hire on as a mule or pretty face to advertise. Couriers just run packages to people Snagem is dealing with or other Snagem members who need it. You compete with Pokemon for the Courier position too. Wanna know why Wes is a fast runner? Wanna know why Wes has such a speed machine and can drive so well? There’s some reasons. He started in this position, and he damn sure wasn’t gonna lose it. Now, as a kid, of course, he could only handle small hover bikes, but he learned how to mod them fast.

2. Base member/Lazyass: Base members of Snagem don’t do much besides just do basic errands and stuff. Anything other members can’t do basically gets shoved onto these guys. Including the grosser stuff like cleaning up ‘the messes’. They never elaborated on what. They’d just say to go clean up this mess or that mess. And Base members gotta do it. Or they can be lazy. A lot do. The HQ doesn’t smell nice. Especially since Orre is hotter than Groudon’s Drought.

2.1 Mechanic/Contractor: These guys are still technically Base members but they can actually, like, do stuff. So they’re treated a little better, and they don’t have to clean gross stuff up! They fiddle with all the machines and make sure the HQ is in good condition.

3. Thieves/Snaggers: Aka when Gonzap actually starts to give a fuck about you. If you meet your quota. This is arguably the most valuable tier members can be, even more than Admins. Anyone in this tier is part of the group of people that are assigned to go out and steal what is needed. Don’t care how, don’t give excuses, steal it. Steal everything you’re told to, or it’s back to Base member for you. Even some Snaggers were just those types that used Sleep Powder, but if you could steal, and steal all on your quota, you could be in this tier. Snaggers are regularly in contact with Couriers to pass off the goods to, and this is where Wes first met a Snagger. Immediately, it sowed the seeds in his head that would eventually lead to him wanting to pursue a higher position in Snagem. Snaggers are often the ones who get busted out of prison. Mechanics and Contractors, maybe. Admins, yeah. Snaggers, absolutely. Base members/Couriers/Frontmen? Lol they’ll send you a postcard.

4. Admins: Usually Gonzap’s close and trusted advisors and enforcers. Strong, yes, but they don’t have to be a Snagger. If you are, you may as well be a unicorn. Wes was on his way to being that rare combo before he stabbed everyone in the back.

5. Boss: Gonzap. Duh. The toughest dude, leads only the most important missions. Pretty standard stuff. A lot of day-to-day stuff gets left to the Admins but if he gets involved, you probably fucked up big time.

Now, Snagem also has a fun little ‘initiation’. It’s actually quite simple: Go to the HQ and report to Gonzap. Thing is, they have a messenger, usually another Courier, tell you this. No nice cushy ride for you. Go get there yourself. The most you may get told, if the member is nice enough to tell the Courier, is that it’s at Eclo Canyon. Normally people stop right there and go ‘Nah’ and back out. Plenty who try never show up. It’s safe to say, if you successfully find the HQ, you now know Eclo Canyon like the back of your hand. Which is important as all members need to know how. Wes cheated a little and stalked a Grunt there after being lost, but it worked!

New members are often treated roughly and used as a whipping boy a lot by other members. Aka they’d battle and fist fight a lot. Base members are the ones who really do this because they’re bored and it’s funny to punk a new guy.

They are nice to give you a uniform, but Wes didn’t like wearing it because they didn’t have a lot of different sizes and he was too small. He got a LOT of ‘attention’ for a while because of that.

Food in the earlier days of Snagem was a little scarce, and they didn’t ration. Get to your food first and take it before someone else does. Hiding it can work, but it normally gets found and it’s always nobody’s fault but your own if it does. That leaves eating it right there, but if another grunt is upset they didn’t get any they may just fight you until you puke it up to spite you. Wes had this happen several times himself.

Now, you don’t have to eat the food Snagem scrounges up. Nobody stops you from going out and getting your own. The HQ isn’t Snagem members’ house. It’s an HQ. You don’t pay rent for it, you work. Food is considered a luxury provided when they can give it. If you do go out to grab your own, don’t think other Snagem members won’t tail you. Just ‘cause you’re getting it from somewhere else doesn’t mean they won’t still try to take it or spite you.

Earning your respect in Snagem can take a while or it can happen really fast. Normally it involves asserting yourself enough to know that if anyone tries something, you’re gonna get thrashed. Contributing to Snagem a lot is another route. If you contribute a lot to Snagem but aren’t strong, you’re a ‘Daddy’s Boy’ and they fuck with you more than if you were just a new guy.

When you do earn your respect, everyone backs off, and you’re more or less finally seen as an equal, and people generally can get pretty friendly. You are ‘one of them’ sorta. It doesn’t mean any of the bullshit will stop, but they sorta feel like you can be trusted as far as Snagem is concerned. About as close to good friends and bros as can be. As long as you stayed with Snagem.

If you turn on Snagem, they will hunt you and utterly beat the hell out of you. Probably take all your stuff too. And they won’t stop. Not unless Gonzap calls them off.

So, overall, Snagem’s atmosphere is very much summed up as ‘a junkyard full of a pack of junkyard dogs’. Come on in if you can find em, but we ain’t gonna coddle anybody. Figure it out or leave.

All this was fine and dandy until Cipher came along. They gave one special thing to Snagem, and that was the Snag Machine.

Cipher completely took advantage of Snagem about it too. They knew Snagem would jump at the chance to use it, and so they used Snagem first as test subjects with their clunky Beta versions. The ones that were like vending machines.

These things were cumbersome and ridiculously hard to make use of. It wasn’t until Wes got the bright idea to actually disguise them as vending machines sitting on the back of a concealed truck did they actually steal any Pokemon with them. But Wes saw huge potential in this technology and was eager to see where it would go.

Eventually, to ‘thank’ Snagem for its help, Cipher ‘gifted’ them the only handheld Snag Machine. But it came at a steep price. They could have the Snag Machine, but Cipher demanded they go out and steal for Cipher as well as themselves.

Snagem, essentially, became Cipher’s bitch and stole at the snap of their fingers. Wes noticed this shift very quickly and he did not like getting put back into that tier after clawing his way out of it. He wasn’t gonna be nobody’s bitch, but if Snagem wanted to, Wes would treat them like one.

Snagem’s reaction was pretty basic when Wes betrayed Snagem, as seen in Colosseum, but Wes felt nothing when he betrayed them. Wes is a product of his environment, and Snagem undoubtedly created a monster by fostering his megalomania with their system. Several things, like the literal fighting for food, and the treatment of new members, contributed to the complexes Wes still has, such as never wanting to depend on anyone. The hyperaggressive environment, in turn, made Wes hyperaggressive when he felt threatened or wanted to assert dominance. He wouldn’t have even felt a need to assert any sort of dominance if Snagem hadn’t beat it into him that he had to, lest he be pushed around by everyone. Wes had his own bad traits, but Snagem basically took all of Wes’ bad personality traits and amplified them.

#snagged;;hc #((big fucking headcanon dump right here))#tw: violence

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