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#I take a 12 hours total of life drawing classes and this is apparently what happens
mayfriend-archive · 3 years
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Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?
Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.
First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.
When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."
Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.
When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)
I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.
It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.
The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.
I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.
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I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.
A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.
I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:
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At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.
Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.
It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.
My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™
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trudy-shams · 3 years
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What we become - part 6
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6 months later ------------ You checked out your reflection in the mirror for the 12th time, every 10 minutes in the span of 2 hours. Steve was late today. No!  You were NOT nervous, you just wanted to look presentable. You were a reflection of the place you worked for and you loved Asgard so it was not totally absurd you wanted to make sure you were looking good.
"The blonde boy isn't here yet, please stop wasting time in front of the mirror and take those drinks to table #6" Clint grumbled.
Him sitting in your section 5 times a week and leaving cute notes (and some hefty tips) did not go unnoticed by anyone. And no one was subtle about it. From Loki to Thor to Clint to Gamora, everyone teased you endlessly.
"Seriously, I don't know what is holding you, or him, back. Just go out on a date already" Gamora said while tipping her head towards the door.
And in walked Steve, in all his smedium t-shirt and khaki pants glory.
His eyes immediately found yours and his face split into a big grin as he made his way to a table.
Sometimes you wonder how you didn't see until now how handsome he was, but you know for a fact that your perception of beauty changes as you get to know them better. Sometimes their personality makes them more appealing while other times it's the exact opposite.
You couldn't stop the smile that spread on your lips.
You neared Steve's table "You are late today"
Steve dopey smiled back "I got stuck at an event my father organized but I slipped away as soon as I could and then there was the usual traffic"
"I have told you so many times, we have another branch of Asgard near where you live, you don't have to make the hour long drive just for some beers" You smirked.
The first time you got to know how far he lives, you were slightly confused as to why he would drive all the way. He just shrugged and smiled, saying he liked the ambience of this place better. You didn't really believe him but didn't push him either.
Now? Now you kinda knew why he drove so far. It would be stupid to pretend otherwise but you couldn't pass an opportunity to tease him.
"And I have told you, I really like the ambience " Steve was not the shy fella who couldn't meet your eyes anymore. It took a while but he slowly lost his inhibitions around you.
And you? Well, your perspective of him changed the very day he saved your life. You were so grateful to him.
But as you got to know him better, you felt a lot more for him than just thankfulness.
"So your usual then?" You took out your notepad.
"No, not today. I am already late, maybe I will take a to-go bag for some snacks. Enough for two people" Steve had this look on his face.
You were disappointed and you hoped it wasn't obvious on your face.
"Oh sure, I will bring it up right now" You internally cringed at the high pitch of your voice.
"Oh no, no rush, take your time. I know your shift doesn't end for another 30 minutes" Steve was full on smiling now.
It took a moment for you to realize what he meant and you bit your lip to keep from smiling.
"Well that's very presumptuous of you Mr. Rogers. I might have better things to do then go out on a d.., accompany you to whatever secret cult meeting you drive an hour for" Steve laughed out loud before pressing his hands to his chest.
"The Perseids Meteor shower is supposed to peak today and the sky is clear enough for a good view. It might be something fun to watch "Steve lost steam by the time he finished his sentence seeing your stern expression " it's Friday night so I thought you wouldn't have classes tomorrow and work. The best time to view is after midnight and If you are not comfortable, I understand"
You did your best to keep your laughter in at Steve's rambling but maintained your serious demeanor "We will have a few hours to kill then, do you want to watch a movie"
"I totally... what?" Steve was giving you his signature puppy dog eyes.
You finally dropped the act and grinned "I have been begging Nakia for days but she claims that no astronomical event can keep her from her beauty sleep. I am so glad you asked. It would be so much fun. We can take some drinks too. We can stop by my place and grab a picnic mat. Do we need chairs? Blan..."
"Ok doll breath" the nickname just slipped out but Steve decided to act calm"I have everything ready. We can just pack some food and we are good to go"
You did a tiny jump. "I can't wait" --------------- 12 Months later
"See, both Mr. Darcy and Lizzi are seeing things through their own corrupt lenses" you supplied hazily
The warm weather and shining sun had almost put you to sleep.
Then there was Steve's warmth that radiated from where you were leaning against him. His cologne, his soothing voice as he hummed a tune now and then and the comfort of knowing he  was there with you.
Steve and you were sitting in your favorite park. You, with your books and Steve with his sketch pad, as had become the norm for Sundays. Steve always asked you what you were reading and you always asked him what he was drawing.
Steve would show you his sketch if you would give him a summary of the book you were reading and answer his questions. You borrowed a few books from Mr. Stark's library every time you went home.
There was something about reading a physical book that you loved.
You had grabbed your all time favorite this morning while stepping out to Steve's bike.
"Usually people assume that one character had pride while the other had prejudiced views but I feel that they both had pride and their own prejudices. For instance, Lizzy knows what Mr. Darcy is saying about her family is true and on occasions, she has pointed out the same to her mother and sisters, even her father, but she is wounded when Mr. Darcy states the same. Her mind sees Mr. Darcy is a spoiled rich man with no compassion or heart" you went on, now glancing at Steve "but we should always remember, never judge a book by it's cover... or initial few pages" you stuck your tongue out at your own silliness.
Steve had this wistful smile on his face "Yeah, sometimes the first few pages cannot tell you the full story"
"That's why I read all books that I begin till the end" you all but whispered to Steve seeing how close he had come to you.
"I am so happy that you do" Steve whispered back. Just one inch, that's all you needed.
And then Steve's phone went off.
You both jerked away.
Steve took the call while you hid behind your book for the rest of the day. ---------------- 18 Months Later
"You will call me as soon as you reach" you repeated for the 5th time.
"I will, first things" Steve promised.
Steve had been enrolled in a 1 year MBA from a university in another country, as per his father's wishes. Apparently, it was a rite of passage all children in his father's circle had to go through. You were told by Nat that James, or Bucky as she called him, had been there too.
Like that was supposed to make you feel better.
Not that you could ask Steve to stay. You weren't officially dating.
You didn't know what was holding Steve or you back. Well, you knew what was holding you back. You didn't know what you would do if Steve rejected you.
You were sure he had feelings for you but you still felt that there was a wall between you two and you had solid reasons.
You had never, not once, met any of Steve's friends. Not even as a friend.
He always came to you, the area where you lived. Never the other way around.
He hadn't added you in any social media accounts he had.
There was a small part of you, which was growing everyday, that believed he was embarrassed to be seen with you. Not that Steve ever made you feel like that when you were together.
But then there was this glaring fact that he never asked you out on a proper date. It was always a plan to 'hang out'.
And that he hadn't even kissed you yet.
And now he was leaving for 12 months.
"I will miss you" Steve looked at you with such a rueful smile that you had to look away.
"Well, I will be right here. Literally, I will wait for you right here, at the airport gate, with a bunch of welcome home balloons and a six pack of your favorite. Who knows, maybe I can convince Ms.Hella to start an airport outlet and I will meet you inside, waiting with your regular order as soon as you land" you tried to lighten the mood.
"I will touch down at the airport every weekend then" Steve smiled which did not reach his eyes.
"Don't make promises you can't keep Mr. Rogers" You turned to him and smiled, having reached the security check.
Steve was hugging you the next second. Arms squeezing you tight while he murmured in your ear " I will miss you sweetheart, So much."
You took a deep breath to hold your tears in "I will miss you too".
You stood like that for a moment. You pretended not to notice the way Steve smelled your hair and planted a lingering kiss on your hair.
You both reluctantly parted.
"I will see you soon stranger" you whispered and started stepping back.
You had to let him go before you did something stupid. But ultimately, Steve beat you to it.
He grabbed your arm as you were about to turn away, jerked you forward, and planted his lips on yours.
There was nothing soft about the kiss. It was bruising. It was months of pent up frustration, attraction and tension all coming to the fore.
One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other was like a steel band around your waist. You didn't know when your hands ended up crushing the t -shirt material around his chest. It was all tongue and teeth and desperation.
When you both came up for air, Steve looked absolutely wrecked.
He held you close and pressed 6 more quick kisses on your lips.
I *kiss* will *kiss* miss *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* much *kiss*
With that, he loosened his grip on your waist and hair and stepped back. Hair out of place and cheeks flushed crimson.
He let out a deep exhale and turned around, speed walking through security, not looking back once.
While you stood there, rooted to the spot for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath and quell the butterflies in your stomach, wondering what the hell just happened.
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jessiewre · 4 years
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Day 36
Sun 9th Feb - Safari Day🦒🐆🦁🐒🐗🦛🦓🌳🌲
OMG SAFARI IN MASAI MARA DAY.
Excited...
We'd decided to go for the packed lunch only option so no breakfast to start. It was a risky one but we packed a few snacks for emergencies (an old banana mmm yum, some peanut butter).
Got into our shared safari vehicle with Joffrey our Masai guide plus a couple and their 7 year old daughter. We only had a 3km drive to the park entrance and we were soon in Masai Mara park, what a dream. However, we started to realise that the little girls huge enthusiasm for nature had the strong potential to become rather irritating. Every time she saw a living creature she would go nuts. Like, any living creature. She would squeal (not recommended on safari by the way as apparently wild animals have ears) and she would say the name of the animal repeatedly.
Literally, she saw a vulture, I mean, we ALL saw the vulture, and she was like
‘Vulture! Vulture! Vulture! Vulture! VULTURE!’.
Then we saw some VERY boring birds.
‘Oh look, there’s GUINEA FOWL! THEY ARE SO CUUUUUTE ooooohhhhhh  GUINEA FOWL! GUINEA FOWL! HI THERE GUINEA FOWL! ’
Whenever we saw a warthog, which was maybe 100 times, she jumped up and down shouting ‘Pumba! Pumba! I SEE A PUMBA!!’
Phil looked at me with a very straight face and I’m certain if he’d seen a lion at that moment he’d have thrown her out of the jeep.
BUUUUUTT, eventually her OTT squealing calmed and she became a bearable human being to be around.
We chatted to the parents who were really nice and were on holiday from living in Doha, which from their description, sounds like one of the last places we’d want to live. But each to their own.
We spotted so many things, but the morning highlight was went Joffrey spotted a white dot in the far distance. Yes the white dot cat was a rare type of cat that only has two lets OK FINE only joking. So yeah, we could kind of see this dot, then it disappeared. We waited around and looked through the binoculars, then Joffrey decided to head closer in our vehicle. We reached the dot and somehow ended up about 1 metre away from an ACTUAL cheetah, sat casually next to a tree like a normal cat, pretty much posing for us. Then it just rolled around on its back playfully. Was AMAZING! 😬
Then we saw a mother cheetah with her 3 grown up cubs having a cheeky sleep in the sun. We then saw a massive sleeping male lion tucked hidden behind some bushes!
We had a morning tea & biscuits break under a nice tree where we all got out of the car to stretch our legs (and pee behind the car) taking care to keep a watch out for animals (seemed a little dicey to me but Joffrey was super chill about it so everyone pretended they were too) then 12:30 was lunch (not a moment too soon). Again, it was under a tree but this time we sat on some Masai blankets (uh, in a park with big cats - don’t ask) and had spaghetti noodles, eggs, biscuits, oranges and juice. Joffrey said he could see some hyenas nearby but that we could see them after lunch - how nice of him. If they didn’t come over to eat us before we’d finished that is (a clan of hyenas can devour a whole zebra including bones leaving NO TRACE within 30 minutes).
The afternoon was when we looked for lions mainly, but saw tons of other stuff as we drove. Phil and I had the best seats in the front but boy, was it blasting heat on us. So we used our Masai blankets to creat cloak / hammocks as we stood up through the roof hatch getting toasted. we only bashed our sides a few thousand times as we bumped along. My hat completely flew off and I’m not sure if we were in a dangerous spot, but even Joffrey wouldn’t get out to retrieve it. I managed to open the door and ingeniously swipe it up with my foot so the little girl could catch it. She was growing on me now, she certainly had her uses.
Right at the end, we finally saw female lions! Unfortunately we were quite far away but was cool anyway of course. Joffrey said if the rangers weren’t there at that moment, he could have driven closer, but had to be careful incase they decided to tell him off. The rangers decided to drive up to our vehicle the moment we spotted the lions to ask for everyone’s tickets as a random inspection.
MATE WE ARE TRYING TO LOOK AT ACTUAL LIONS.
Was so annoying, especially as we couldn’t find them for ages..
All in all, we saw:
6 cheetahs
Elephants with baby elephants  
Giraffes
Buffalos
Ostriches
Pumba warthogs
Topi
Gazelle
Jackel
Wildebeest
Hippos
Male sleeping lion
Female lions chilling under bushes 
Hyenas
100 year old Tortoise (spotted by the little girl, credit to her)
And after 10 hours of intense African sun, we headed back.
As we drove through the little town by the entrance, the kids shouted ‘Packed lunch!’ and held their hands out. So the little girl handed out all of our spare food of biscuits and snacks, even the biscuits she LOVED and had put aside for herself. Was sweet.  
We stopped off to buy some bits as had made the tough decision to make our own breakfast the next day (I know, absolute heroes) so I bought a couple of avocados for 10p each.
Came back to the vehicle proudly to show everyone my purchase and it turned out the avocados I’d bought were actually MANGOS so I went back to find a different shop for avocado hunt take 2! Found one ripe one PHEW our breakfast was saved, white middle class crisis over thank GOD. 
Phil bought 4 eggs and some bread and we were good to go ‪for breakfast tomorrow‬ - saving 18.50$ in the process. All the food we bought cost $1.50. 
After the dust and sweat of safari life (I’m not complaining tho) the awesome shower was very welcome and then straight onto dinner. 
Back to Jessie’s food diary.
That dinner was SO GOOD. We had a DELICIOUS dinner of a vege spring roll starter, onion quiche, dauphinoise potatoes and green beans main, and then a choc cake with cream dessert. 
We chatted to the family some more - James from UK & Larissa from Mexico & the little girl Liloosh - and we had totally changed our mind about the little girl. Her biggest crime was her enthusiasm and actually she’d not complained once throughout the whole safari. She wanted to be a vet and loved animals more than anything (she even got excited about the field mice that were by the camp gate when we’d arrived back) and was a really sweet girl who loved drawing. Felt bad for imagining her as lion food...
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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years
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So, apparently it has been 6 months since I first started posting my stuff on Tumblr.
6 months! It feels so long and yet so short, all at the same time. Tumblr has become such a huge part of my life now, and I am so grateful that this community is so welcoming and accepting.
I remember when I decided to first write this. I always wanted to post my stuff on Tumblr, always wanted to be able to share my writing, but by God, I was so damn scared. I always made deadlines for myself, “I’ll post over Christmas! I’ll post on my Birthday!”
That was actually the major deadline for me! I always told myself that I’d start posting on my birthday, that it would be like a present to myself. At the time I set that goal for myself (August Something), March 11th seemed so far away, and I was basically procrastinating.
And one day, I was watching he Winter Soldier and I was thinking about Stucky. And it was 12 at night and I don’t know what happened, I just thought to myself, “Screw it. I want to write something and I’m going to post it.”
So I did. I spent 4 hours on this semi-decent fic and I got a grand total of 12 notes. And I was ecstatic because holy shit, 12 people like my stuff?
So I kept going! And now here I am! I think it’s pretty funny that the first thing I ever decided to write was an angsty fic about Stucky and their relationship.
Anyways, here it is down below! Thanks for supporting me, and encouraging me to keep writing! :)
Thoughts
Bucky’s falling, wind whispering in his ears, snow covering his face, the screeching of the train on top of him. A scream rises in his throat, as he stares up at the sky above him.
And suddenly, he’s 9 years old again, cracked shoes and dirty clothes, sitting on top of the swing set in the park. It was a hot day, a dry summer. He sees dead grass drying in the cracks in the pavement, hear the wind whistling through the trees.
And he hears them. There’s Ricky King, 3 years older then him, towering over all the boys in the neighborhood. He’s laughing, a group of older boy around him, all kicking at something hidden in the middle of the throng. Bucky finds himself leaning forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of what lay in the middle. The crowd shifts, and Bucky sees a tiny figure, all bones and cuts and the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. The boy is bleeding, marks all over his face, yet he still pushes himself off the ground, glares at Ricky, and says something that makes Ricky flush and punch him square in the jaw. And Bucky is angry, because surely the boy knows that talking will only get him more hurt? So he sits there, and watches the fight.
After 10 more minutes, the boys leave, and Bucky hops down off the swing set and heads over to check on the boy. He’s curled into a ball, yet when he glances up, his eyes are filled with defiance. Pain fills his every move as he slowly pushes himself to his feet, still glaring at Bucky. And Bucky is speechless, because why would you let yourself be tortured like that?
He doesn’t know what to do, so after a while, he says, “Um...are you ok?” The other boy nods his head, tears welling up in his eyes, desperately trying not to cry. Bucky is still frozen, helpless. He puts his arms around the other boy, because that’s what his mother did when he was sad, and gradually, the boy stops crying. He lets go, looks at the other boy in the eyes and says, “Hi. I’m Bucky.” The other boy smiles back, eyes red from crying, and says softly, “Hi. I’m Steve.”
And they are 13 now, young and careless and rebellious. Steve is still small, bones protruding from his chest and half a foot shorter then everyone else in school. Bucky is taller, broader, dark hair and darker eyes, and they are inseparable. They spend the days at school, learning math and english and science. Afterwards, they go to Steve’s place, into the forest behind his house, and Steve draws and Bucky climbs trees and they are happy. And he’s 13, getting looks from the girls in his class. They giggle, hide behind the gates at recess, and he sometimes hears them whispering when he exits the classroom. He’s confused, because he’s never noticed these things, never noticed anything besides Steve, and he wonders if something is wrong with him.
They’re 14. Bucky is tall, towering over Steve, who is still skin and bones and blue eyes. It’s winter, bitterly cold, and they can’t light the fire because logs cost too much. They lie huddled in the narrow bed, Steve against the wall and Bucky pressing close to him. Steve is barely breathing, his last asthma attack not even 10 minutes ago. He shivers, the movement shaking the entire bed, and Bucky presses closer. He hesitates, because he is 14 and should he really be sharing a bed with his friend? And he hates himself for it, hates that little voice of doubt in his head because Goddamn it, he’s your best friend for Christ sakes Bucky! but he can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong. He’s noticing things, the curve of Steve’s wrist as he turned the page on the sketch book, the way his hair fell over his face, how his cheekbones and nose casted a shadow over his lips when the sun was in the right place in the sky.
And Bucky is scared, because this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be like? He almost edges away from the sleeping figure of Steve, but another wave of coughing overwhelms Steve’s thin body, and Bucky is back to his old spot on the bed. He reaches over, wraps an arm around Steve’s bony ones and holds him tight.
And they are 15, and Steve still can’t fade from Bucky’s mind. He tries to hide it, destroy it, burry it with wine and women and dancing. He takes his shoes, shines them until you couldn’t see the cracks in them, smiles to hide the holes in his heart. He spends the days working at the docks, hauling box after box after box. The money is barely enough to get by, the work exhausting, but Bucky can’t quit, because he now has to support not only himself, but Steve as well.
And it hurts. Everyday, 5 in the morning until 7 at night, hauling boxes and tying knots, until his back is screaming and his fingers are bloody. He waits outside of the apartment that him and Steve share, looking at himself in the shard of mirror hanging outside of the front door, pasting a smile on his face and he clenches his teeth hard. He knows that if he breaks down, Steve would be out on the streets, and he would not, could not abandon Steve. He’s 15, working his ass off, trying to support 2 orphans, and still when he falls asleep, all he can see are Steve’s blue eyes in his dreams.
They are 16, the world going to absolute shit around them, and all Steve wants to do is fight for his country. “They are ENSLAVING people over their Buck,” he says one evening, glaring at the radio set in front of them. “I need to help. I can’t...I can’t just stay here and do nothing!”
Dread pools in Bucky’s stomach, because how can he protect Steve if he is somewhere in a goddamn war zone? but he holds it together, smiles, manages a small “calm down pip-squeak,” and exits the room.
He’s scared, because he knows that while the army may never take Steve, they’d sure as hell take him, and then Steve would be on his own. He can’t handle that, the thought of leaving for some separate country, and never seeing Steve again. It’s worse though, because despite all that’s happened, he can’t stop having those dreams. Dreams of Steve’s hands on his body, and those blue eyes, and kissing him, Bucky’s hands tangling in his hair. He’s disgusted with himself, knows that this is wrong, but he can’t decide if he is relieved or wrecked that he may leave without ever telling Steve Rogers the words I love you.
They are 17, now, the war still raging around them. They’ve been lucky so far, but Bucky knows that this luck can’t hold for much longer. Steve is at the recruiting station everyday, a different state on his form every time, and yet all Bucky can do is stare at the envelope placed in front of him at work. His name is printed in bold letters on the paper, James Buchanan Barnes, and the only thing that runs through Bucky’s head is Steve. Because the day had finally come, the clock had run out. He knew that they were on borrowed time, knew that every moment was another moment lost, but goddamn him, he thought they would have more of it. And he knows he’s going to die there, die without ever saying goodbye to Steve, and he can’t think, his breath coming in tight bursts. He stands up, shoves his chair underneath the table with a violent jerk, and somehow he is standing outside the apartment, in his uniform, his hat cocked to one side, and trying not to fall apart.
He opens the door, finds the window open and sees a note saying On Roof. He climbs out the window, sees Steve on the roof, and his heart catches in his throat because he is so freaking beautiful, all golden and shadows, and all he wants to do is to kiss him. Steve comes over, smiling, greets him with a simple “Hey Buck.”
He leans over, puts his arm around Bucky, and Bucky feels his heart hammering in his chest. Steve notices this, turns his head towards Bucky, a confused expression on his face and goddamn him in hell, but Bucky can’t take it. They are only a short distance apart, and Bucky leans forwards and meets Steve’s lips with his own.
And Steve stiffens for a moment, and Bucky nearly pulls away, petrified because shit, shit, shit what if he didn’t like me in that way?? And he is about to apologize, beg his forgiveness when Steve pulls him closer and kisses him again.
They are 2 boys, rain pouring down on top of them, buckets and buckets of it, and yet all either of them can do is breathe each other in. And Bucky pulled away, looking at Steve Rogers in the eyes, and thinks how can I let this go?
And as Bucky falls, he remembers. Days and days of golden summer, crisp fall. Lying in beds as boys, pressing Steve against his body. Sitting in trees, Steve drawing and Bucky reading. Snowball fights and sleepovers and campfires and how the light reflected off of Steve’s face. 2 boys kissing on the rooftop, not giving a damn what others thought as the skies opened on top of them. And he was grateful. Grateful for all that stolen time, those early days and late nights, that hot summer day long ago, because without Steve, Bucky knew that his life would be meaningless.
So Bucky fell, thousands of miles off a steel train, and the last thing he saw was the blue eyes of the boy he loved best.
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jemariel · 6 years
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Baby’s First Fic Rec List
Well Hello There! Somehow I made it to 366 followers!! I intended to do this celebration for 350 but, y’know, life, holidays.... So here it is now!
I haven’t been around this fandom very long, but I have never felt so at home and welcomed by a fandom. I’ve also spent the last year or so reading Destiel fic like it was my calling, my passion, my civic duty. Fun fact: when you dive into a fandom with 12 years of accumulated fanfic, there’s a deep deep well to draw from.....
And so, in honor of 350(ish) followers and my first year(ish) with this fandom, I present to you this list of recommendations! Just some faves and things I enjoyed reading . All are Destiel. Most are smutty. Mix of canonverse and AU, fluff and grit, plot and silliness. Some preference given to fics with fewer hits/kudos/comments than I think they deserve.
Happy reading!
....The Non-Smut....
mistletoe & peppermint cocoa by navylights Rated T 5.5k Summary: Cas and Dean are on a mission: to pick up the perfect Christmas tree for their first Christmas with everyone alive and well.And while Cas and Dean are out shopping, and buying cocoa on a snowy afternoon, a certain meddling younger brother is putting up mistletoe in the bunker.(Or, the absurdly fluffy Christmas carols/cocoa/mistletoe/tree decorating/Christmas lights fic of your dreams)
Dean Winchester’s Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Rated T 11.2k Summary: Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas... (Reccer’s note: It’s kind of rare to see really excellent extended-cast ensemble work in fanfic. But this? This is that.)
Raisin D’etre by starsinursa Rated G 1.1k Summary:  Apparently, Castiel hates raisins. (Reccer’s note: THIS IS THE CUTEST THING ON TWO LEGS.)
....Absolute Faves.....
Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix Rated E 40k Summary: Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves. (Reccer’s note: Don’t let the premise squick you. This is very CLEARLY a Destiel story, in spite of Sam’s front row seat. I love all the relationships in this fic, Sam and Dean’s brotherly antagonizing/affection, Sam and Cas’s growing friendship, Cas and Dean’s straining, passionate adoration. All three of them are superbly written, but Cas especially. This also has some of the most scorchingly hot not-quite-sex ever written. Seriously. How can something be so fucking hot when everyone’s wearing two layers of clothing? Beats me.)
Rock ‘n’ Roll Queer Bar (series) by ChasingRabbits Rated E 126.7k Summary: Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without. (Reccer’s note: The description doesn’t really do this series justice. This is the most realistic and beautifully and believably written long-term relationship I have ever read. They go through so much together, and they do it all TOGETHER. It’s beautiful. I devoured this in a day and a half, then went right back to the beginning and read it all over again. It’s Just. That. Good.)
Lots more under the cut!
....Shorts....
Angel-Mine by reluctant Rated E 4.3k Summary: Cas exhaled. "When an angel's wings are injured," he said to his feet, "the healing process can be augmented by… grooming, I suppose, would be the most accurate word. Removal of the maimed feathers to allow growth of healthy ones. Otherwise, they're left to fall out alone." He tilted his head towards the nightstand. "As you see." Dean stared at him. "So… that's why I can't help?" he said slowly. "'Cause I can't, y'know… see 'em? Or touch 'em?" "Yes," Cas said, slightly too quickly, and Dean snorted. "You're still a shitty liar, Cas," he informed him. "What ain't you tellin' me?"
Casturbatus Interruptus by smallhorizons Rated E 6.1k Summary: post-9.01, in a slight AU wherein Cas comes to live with the Winchesters at the Bunker. Written before 9.03. Crossposting from Tumblr. Written for a prompt from hightopsandsharpies: "Okay, so Cas is a virgin, and has no idea what pleasure is and Dean decides to show him and Cas gets all cuddly and needy afterwards." Dean walks in on Cas masturbating. He’s doing it all wrong, but when you’re a bazillion-year-old virgin, that’s to be expected. Dean decides to lend him a hand in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. Things get a little out of control. 
Angelus Domini by xylodemon Rated E 3.2k Summary:  "You're a fucking dick," Dean says, right to God's face. (Reccer’s note: In which Dean and Sam gain some heavenly grace and Dean and Cas don’t waste any time at all.)
we can watch the white doves go by xylodemon Rated E 2.7k Summary: "Wait," Dean says, just as the door snicks closed. It comes out as barely whisper; he clears his throat and tries again, a little louder this time. "Cas, I -- wait."
Oh! Darling! by castielsdemons Rated M 6.6k Summary:  Now that Castiel has fallen, Dean wants to let him know how much he cares about him. And if it takes two or three (or eight) tries to get it right, then so be it. Or, the seven times Dean tried to tell Cas he loves him and the one time he actually got it right. 
....Mid-length....
The Curious Case of Dean’s Missing Libido by thejabberwock Rated E 7k Summary: It’s been weeks since Castiel told Dean he loves him. Weeks since Dean answered him with a kiss. It’s been weeks, and they haven’t had sex.
Pronoun yourself out of this one, Dean by zation Rated E 11k Summary: When Dean gets hit by a gender-swapping witch spell it not so fun for anyone, until it’s kinda fun. Or, The one where Dean gets to discover a whole lot of new things. Like what nice hands Cas has, for instance.
Freckles by 2spooky4u Rated E 7k Summary: "I had to draw all them perfectly," Cas insists, and Dean suddenly can't get rid of the image of Cas, clutching on to a Crayola washable marker, jamming it into his skin forcefully like a little kid mashes his markers on the paper in a vehement attempt to make the color deeper. "And now you're insulted 'cause I don't appreciate 'em?" Dean asks, bewildered. "No," Cas lies petulantly. "Huh." The stubborn child version of Cas Dean has painted in his mind is now clutching his paper possessively, shielding it from scrutiny.They drive in silence for a while. "Thank you for making my freckles," Dean grouses finally, knowing that it's the only way Cas will forgive him. ((((OR, IN WHICH CAS LIKES DEAN AND HIS FRECKLES, AND DEAN IS STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXUAL))))
Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture by almaasi Rated E 10.4k Summary: Sam's been through a lot lately, what with tonight's hunt rendering his skin an aching shade of purple and all. He can deal with Dean being overly concerned about Cas' broken finger, and - God help him - he puts up with the sound of their preposterously soppy love confessions and first kisses on the adjacent bed. But he cannot be expected to remain silent and feign sleep throughout the entire duration of their first-ever lovemaking session. He just can't. Especially not, because it seems apparent that Cas is more intent on deflowering himself than letting Dean do it.
The Things We Did (But Never Spoke Of) (series) by BadassCompany Rated E 17.9k Summary:  Now and then, when there is quiet from the bloodshed and chaos of the world, I think of Dean Winchester. About the things we did; beautiful, glorious, rough skin and wet lips; but never spoke of. He didn't want to talk, only to feel, and I didn't know what to say. ~A partially complete series of canon compliant smutty oneshots.~
worthy by jad Rated E 14.8k Summary: "... you wanna what, now?" Dean asks, because he definitely didn't hear that right.Castiel tilts his head, a leftover tick from his angel days that Dean would be lying if he claimed to find anything but idiotically endearing. He knows this is his own fault, owing to that rather memorable moment a week ago when Cas wandered into this very same kitchen with a (fairly) legitimate question and Dean just didn't know when to shut up.
The Adventures of Real Anal Sex (Starring Dean and Castiel) by tiptoe39 Rated E 9.7k Summary: This is how it really happened. Because this is how it really happens. Thanks for the tweet, Astroglide -- product placement is now yours! (Reccer’s note: Adding some of the relevant tags: Awkward Sexual Situations, yes people go to the bathroom in this fic. Butt stuff ain’t always Harlequin Romance perfect, but honestly? It’s better that way.)
Go with the Flow by starsinursa Rated E 7.6k Summary: The smug bastard obviously think he’s won this argument, because there’s no way Dean is following him into a yoga class. The day Dean starts saluting the sun and humming ‘om’ under his breath like he’s part of some creepy hive mind like the Borg Collective, well, he might as well just start making his own potpourri and frequenting vegan bakeries, too. Not gonna happen.So yeah, Cas is right, damn him. There’s no way in hell Dean is following him into a yoga class. There’s no way. There’s no way –- ahhh, fuck. Fuck it all.
....Novellas/Novels....
Oxymora by thejabberwock Rated E 27.6k Summary: Good things don’t happen to Dean, so he’s not even surprised when Cas tells him he misunderstood the I love you. (Reccer’s note: This hurts so good. The payoff is worth the pain. Warning for Dean/others.)
riptides by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 39.9k, WIP Summary: “I’m going to kiss you now.” Cas pauses, giving Dean a chance to back out, but Dean just licks his lips and waits. Cas’s mouth is up against Dean’s for a couple seconds before Dean responds, and then it’s Cas that’s being kissed senseless, because kissing is definitely not something Dean does tentatively. Dean reaches up to cup Cas’s jaw in his hand, tilting his head for a better angle, mouth plush, tasting like whiskey. Cas tries to remember what it was like the first time he kissed a man. All-encompassing, the world jerking off its axis, the feel of stubble under his fingers intense in a way it never really is with women, as much as he loves them.
Cabin Fever by Dangerousnotbroken Rated E 35k Summary: Due to a romantic-comedy level booking blunder, grumpy stress-case Dean and reclusive writer Castiel end up shuttled off to the same remote cabin for two weeks, and nobody seems to care that neither of them wants to be there. But since they’re stuck in the same cabin for the duration of their vacation, they might as well play nice and make the best of it right? Wrong. Dean’s so stressed out he can’t sit still, Cas can’t boil water without setting the place on fire, and they’re so on each other’s nerves it’ll be a miracle if either of them survives until their rides home arrive. At least the tension is just social, and not sexual, right? Right?
traveling light by sharkfish (waitforspring) Rated E 42.8k Summary: Cas is, impossibly, far more gorgeous in person, and he’s taller than Dean expected, and he moves with this casual grace that makes Dean’s brain short circuit.So Dean thinks he probably looks a little like a deer in the headlights when Cas catches his eyes from the door of the restaurant. He breaks out into a smile, the full, wide one that never came out in his pictures, and Dean actually goes weak in the knees. “Cas,” Dean says.“Hello, Dean,” Cas says. (Reccer’s note: Cas is FtM trans in this story and it gives me... so many feels.)
What Once Was Sacred by saltandbyrne Rated E 55.8k Summary: Los Angeles detective Dean Winchester works tirelessly to atone for the sins of his father one case at a time. When his best friend Charlie drags him to visit Sam at his new job, Dean stumbles onto a bizarre string of deaths that brings him uncomfortably close to his past.Dean can't stop thinking about Castiel, an enigmatic DJ who plays the sexiest music Dean's ever heard. A chance encounter at Castiel's house reveals that Castiel is an incubus, and Dean must face the lies and the reality of his childhood as a hunter. Dean comes to see that he and Castiel have more in common than he thought, and that guilt can be the hardest thing to cast aside.
the taste of gravel in the mouth by beenghosting Rated E 22.4k Summary: This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. (Reccer’s note: Warning for angst.)
PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire, orange_crushed Rated M 82.5k Summary: he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything (Reccer’s note: Warning for fluff.)
Strangers on a Bus by Terene Rated E 59.7k Summary: Castiel is flummoxed. This is a social situation he is not equipped to handle. What is the protocol when the stranger sitting next to you on a bus, whom you incidentally find very attractive, falls asleep with his head on your shoulder?
And now, a Shameless Self Endorsement.  Hope you stop by. ^__^
I’ve tagged a few authors here whose tumblrs I’m familiar with so @starsinursa @thejabberwock @xylodemon​ @reallyelegantsharkfish​ you’re in there! Many hearts to you, thanks for sharing your talents.
Others who might appreciate: @magnificent-winged-beast @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @saawek @sactownbrowns3 @rosemoonweaver @woahthisguy @suckerfordeansfreckles @rosemoonweaver @cas-essence @yourspecialeyes @yeneffersalamander @naruhearts @bae-in-a-trenchcoat @bend-me-shape-me @babyinthetrench @gneisscastiel @deaneatscake @silvie111 @jhoomwrites @tankewinchester @paperwhitenarcissus @thedogsled @helianthus21 @weathergirl83​ @ltleflrt​ 
196 notes · View notes
eyesaremosaics · 6 years
Note
Feminist film recommendations?
Hmm interesting question anon. I will list some of my personal favorites (in no particular order) hopefully you enjoy them.
1. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
I felt like there was fire in my veins walking out of the cinema. Not only is Charlize Theron’s Furiosa a total badass, but the best thing is that it’s not just her. To have such a range of women portrayed equally and beautifully was so uplifting. Women caring for each other, lifting each other and fighting hard for what is right. We need more of that, both in Hollywood and in life.
2. The color purple (1985)
Read this book in high school, about a sisterhood of women, all standing together against the racism and sexism that they face and somehow coming out on top. It’s an inspiring story of women coming together in the face of adversity.
3. Gone With the Wind (1939)
Scarlett was the most coveted female film role of all time. Despite the films obvious flaws as a result of the time period in which it was made, overall this is a feminist parable. Scarlett is above all else–a survivor. She never gives up, digs her heels in, rolls up her sleeves and does it. She faces adversity with admirable courage. Despite the fact that she is a terribly flawed human being, you can relate to her. She sets her mind to something and she does it, whether it’s dragging her family out of poverty or eating as much BBQ food as she damn well likes. Her flaws make her human, which adds richness to the overall story. Scarlett has inspired me to persevere at the darkest of times. When all hope seems lost, “tomorrow is another day.”
4. Erin Brockovich (2000)
I love Julia Roberts, and this movie stands out as one of her best in my opinion. A single mother, fallen on hard times, but somehow holding everything together. Making the best of a bad situation, an eternal realist. Portraying a woman as much more than she appears. She uncovers some dark secrets (chemicals leaked into the sewer systems) which led an entire community to develop terminal illness. She works tirelessly to expose those responsible and find justice for those who can’t help themselves. My favorite line is when this bitchy secretary says: “maybe we got off on the wrong foot here.”“Yeah lady because that’s all you got, two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes.” Bahahaha
5. Suffragette (2015)
Tells the story of the women’s right movement at the turn of the last century. It taught me to stand up for myself, and for women everywhere. Very proud to have that as a part of our history. Incredibly grateful to all the women who fought tirelessly, endured persecution, humiliation, incarceration to ensure my right to vote.
6. Pocahontas (1995)
Pocahontas is VERY loosely based on the true story. Disney took a lot of liberties here which mask the horror of early American history and its impact on the native Americans. HOWEVER, what I like about her characterization in this film… Is that she was strong, rebellious, bold, adventurous, and wise. She went wherever the wind took her, a true free spirit. She was graceful, and kind in ways other Disney princesses were not. The purity of her heart and the message she had to bring, stopped a war. She is a warrior, but not one that fights with weapons, she fights with love. In the end she chose herself and her duty to her people over a man. I wanted to be just like her when I was a little girl watching this in the theater, and she still inspires me today, nearly 20 years later.
7. Fried green tomatoes (1992)
I watched this film when I was in high school, with low expectations and was very surprised to discover how moved I was. A story of two women, finding empowerment within oneself. The main character listens to a story from an elderly woman and learns how to love herself. I believe it’s important to encourage other women and learn from each other.
8. Obvious child (2014)
Jenny Slate’s character has an abortion after a one night stand with a guy she actually really likes. However, she knows she isn’t prepared for it and chooses to terminate the pregnancy. There’s great friendship and family in the film and it really helps to destigmatise abortion.
9. Wild (2014)
The book is arguably better, but the film is worth watching. A woman goes out and hikes one of the worlds longest trails, on a mission to find herself and to prove that she can finish what she starts. Finding herself on the elements, and getting clarity. Very freeing and inspiring.
10. Kill Bill 1 & 2 (2003)
Uma Thurman is a boss, and everyone knows it. She is so vice tally connected to her inner life as an actress, always enjoy watching her. These films are what she is most known for nowadays, and for good reason. It’s a story of revenge. A woman is almost murdered by the man she loved, pregnant with his child. Wakes up in a hospital, having been in a coma for years. Suffered all kinds of indignities, she willed herself to walk again. Dragged herself by her fingernails until she could rise up, strengthen her skills as a warrior, and set out to settle old scores. She takes each person down one by one, yet you still find the humanity behind each character and the reasons why they did what they did and became who they were. It’s about survival, perseverance, and ultimately in the end–forgiveness. Leaving the past behind, to start over again.
11. She’s beautiful when she’s angry (2014)
It’s a documentary about the feminist movement in the 1960s and 1970s, with interviews with many of the women who were part of it. Sure, it makes you angry to see injustice, but it’s also highly uplifting to see what these women did, and how it paved the way for equality forty to fifty years later. These women were, and still are, amazing figures who haven’t stopped fighting.
12. How to make an American quilt
A group of older women reflecting on their lives around a quilting table. Each of their stories are so inspiring, and the way they all come together to heal from their traumas is very powerful. Winona Ryder’s character (Finn) is experiencing a late twenties crisis of identity, and is unsure about wether or not to get married to her long term fiancée. Listening to the lives of all these women helps bring perspective and clarity to her. Life is never black and white, life is like a quilt. You build as you go along.
13. Frida
This Selma Hayek-fronted, Academy Award-winning biopic of the feminist icon portrays the artist in a whole new light. It’s amazing to watch the story of any incredible historic figure succeed against the odds, but double if said figure is also a woman and shot so beautifully by Julie Taymor.
14. The hours (2002)
This film follows three women as their lives weave in and around the narrative of Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. The multi-generational movie shows how people are connected through time by similar angst, anxieties, and personal struggles.
15. The Stepford wives (1975)
What happens to women when things are too perfect? The answer might make their husbands happy, but the truth behind what is happening in this ideal-seeming suburb is nothing short of horrifying.
16. Miss Representation (2011)
A documentary on the way women are treated and portrayed in the media, this film broke open the truth behind the images women and young girls are force fed on a daily basis. Start your watching here, if you can, and then continue on to these other films to see how much has and hasn’t changed.
17. North Country (2005)
A fictionalized account of the first majorly successful sexual harassment case in the United States, this film follows the female miners who fought for their right to work without suffering the abuse their male coworkers heaped on them because of their gender.
18. The Headless Woman, Lucrecia Martel
New Argentine Cinema figure Lucrecia Martel draws connections to the country’s dark political/class struggles, transposing its “disappeared” from the mid-to-late ‘70s into a sedate, challenging story about a woman’s fractured state following a fatal accident and its ensuing cover-up.
18. Princess Mononoke, Hayao Miyazaki
A thread of feminism weaves itself through the work of Hayao Miyazaki. Perhaps his most mature film, Princess Mononoke features a memorable and tenacious heroine, San, who subverts feminine stereotypes and is written without the fanciful quirks commonly found in animation. She is serious and single minded. Grounded to the earth, living in the moment. She is totally present, and pure. Even her rage comes from a pure unadulterated place. Wolf-goddess character Moro deserves attention as an unlikely mother figure that is fierce and, well, totally pissed off (you would be too if people were destroying your home), but also wise and nurturing. Fighting for what’s right, against impossible odds. Being humbled by nature, the ultimate female reclamation. So many layers in this film.
19. Dogfight, Nancy Savoca
A rare film set during the Vietnam War and told from the perspective of a woman, Nancy Savoca’s Dogfight reveals a different kind of cruelty people inflict upon one another, off the battlefield — in this case, a group of misogynistic Marines using women in a contest of looks. Lili Taylor’s peace-loving Rose, who becomes one of the targets in this game, soon realizes she’s being courted by River Phoenix’s Eddie for the wrong reasons — though his guilt and seemingly genuine interest in Rose is apparent. Rose confronts Eddie about the game, defending the honor of all women involved, which winds up bringing them closer together.
20. Alien, Ridley Scott
She’s not a sidekick, arm candy, or a damsel to be rescued. She isn’t a fantasy version of a woman. The character is strong enough to survive multiple screenwriters. She was lucky enough to be played by Sigourney Weaver,” said Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America President John Scalzi of Ellen Ripley from 1979’s Alien. Defying genre cinema’s gender clichés (she is gender neutral, really) as the clear-minded, intelligent, and capable officer of the ship Nostromo, Ripley is more resourceful than the men who employ her and steps in to take over when all hell breaks loose.
21. Orlando, Sally Potter
Our own Judy Berman recently highlighted Tilda Swinton’s performance in Potter’s adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s satirical text that explores gender and artistic subjectivity, a project that was ambitious in both form and content:
“Although it’s far more straightforward a narrative than most of her work, Virginia Woolf’s Orlando still presents one major challenge for the big screen: its protagonist is a nobleman in Elizabethan England who lives a life that spans centuries, and is suddenly transformed into a woman midway through it. Tilda Swinton may be the only (allegedly) human actor equipped to play the role of such a regal, mysterious androgyne, and her performance in this adaptation — also a breakthrough for director Sally Potter — became her signature.”
22. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Jacques Demy
Celebrated for its vivid milieu, Jacques Demy’s sensitively characterized film is a superior look at an independent woman (Catherine Deneuve) in a romantic narrative who makes difficult choices about marriage, children, and survival that sometimes leave her alone — but she is never lonely because of that.
23. Daisies, Vera Chytilová
The young women in Vera Chytilová’s Czech New Wave farce “construct fluid identities for themselves, keenly aware of their sexuality, toying with the men who pursue them. It’s an exhilarating, surreal, anarchic experiment, framed by the turbulent 1960s.
24. Daughters of the Dust, Julie Dash
Julie Dash directed the first feature film by an African-American woman distributed theatrically in the United States in 1991 — a stunningly captured look at three generations of Gullah women off the coast of South Carolina and Georgia in 1902.
25. Meshes of the Afternoon, Maya Deren
The bar for avant-garde female filmmaking, born from personal experiences and anxieties. Maya Deren’s 1943 experimental classic builds its interior female perspective and constructs of selfhood through dreamlike imagery.
26. The Passion of Joan of Arc, Carl Theodor Dreyer
Critic Jonathan Rosenbaum on Carl Theodor Dreyer’s crowning achievement, released in 1928, that still painfully echoes contemporary cases of female oppression — the film’s silent context taking on an unintentional resonance:
“Carl Dreyer’s last silent, the greatest of all Joan of Arc films… . Joan is played by stage actress Renee Falconetti, and though hers is one of the key performances in the history of movies, she never made another film. (Antonin Artaud also appears in a memorable cameo.) Dreyer’s radical approach to constructing space and the slow intensity of his mobile style make this ‘difficult’ in the sense that, like all the greatest films, it reinvents the world from the ground up. It’s also painful in a way that all Dreyer’s tragedies are, but it will continue to live long after most commercial movies have vanished from memory.”
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westywrites · 6 years
Text
Character Journal
This was a project for my Writer’s Craft class. We were supposed to make a journal to work on ‘show not tell’ in terms of characterization. I ended up quite liking mine.
Monday, May 8th, 2017
Went on a tour for my new job today. It’s at that big old psychiatric hospital on the hill just outside of town. I'm going to use this journal to take notes on the kids I'll be working with. I'm so lucky to be getting this job right out of grad school, I'm so excited! Ok, this notebook will be professional from now on.
Tuesday, May 9th, 2017
My patients are as follows: -Valerie Jacobs, 16, hospitalized after third suicide attempt in two months -Peter Thompson, 9, selectively mute for unknown reasons, likely autistic -Nicholas Cockburn, 11, PTSD due to severe abuse by father, suffers frequent nightmares and outbursts -Samantha Reiner, 12, niece of the mayor, recently transferred after five years in a high security hospital for attempting to burn down her house with her family trapped inside, demonstrates psychopathic tendencies
Wednesday, May 10th, 2017
-remember that the Reiner girl goes by Sam, she held my briefcase hostage for three hours until I swore on my life to never call her Samantha again -board games could be the key to getting Peter to talk, his collection astounds me -it will take some effort to earn Nicholas’s trust, he's putting up a barrier of ‘respect’
Thursday, May 11th, 2017
-Valerie can earn a few words from Peter, she calls him ‘Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater’ and often sings to him -Sam likes to upset Nicholas by breaking the rules, that dynamic could be damaging for both of them -Sam tried to steal my notebook to ‘learn more about her new friends’, said she likes my doodles
Friday, May 12th, 2017
-Nicholas’s outbursts can be triggered by loud sounds, unfortunately Sam figured this out -Peter needs to be protected, Sam spent the afternoon lurking around him Side note: Ben is upset that all I have talked about this week is work, he claims to be more important because we're dating, but work comes first, these kids need me, hopefully he’ll feel better after the weekend
Monday, May 15th, 2017
-Over the weekend Sam spent several hours in solitary, it seems to have been counterproductive -Keep a closer eye on Valerie, her apparent happiness is suspicious -Peter invited me to play with him, this is progress -Told Nicholas about my troubles with Ben over the weekend, he played counsellor for our relationship, confiding in him seems to be earning his trust
Tuesday, May 16th, 2017
-Valerie is always with the boys, she only talks about them, she follows them and wipes their faces and does their dishes, her smile is bright but I swear it doesn't reach her eyes -Sam said her father told her it was inappropriate for a Reiner to doodle, she asked me to teach her to draw like I do
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017
-Peter spoke to me! Just to tell me he wanted to play checkers, but it's progress -Valerie and Nicholas spent the day in the gardens together, no idea what she said, but Valerie convinced Nicholas to trust me and when they returned he told me about his father, the poor child…
Thursday, May 18th, 2017
-Sam stabbed Nicholas with fork, ‘by accident’. She is in solitary until Monday. -Peter and I had a conversation today, he is worried about Valerie, apparently he watches her and when she thinks she is alone she cries. He told me to make her happy because he loves her -Nicholas had a horrible nightmare last night, I'm spending the night so I'm here if he needs me
Friday, May 19th, 2017
-Reminder: don't sleep in the chair in Nicholas’s room, my back hurts like hell -Nicholas yelled at Peter for playing charades wrong, Peter hid in his room and wouldn't come out Side note: Ben is freaking out again, he called me a workaholic, said I love the kids more than I love him
Monday, May 22nd, 2017
-Sam told me no one cares about her, I said I do, she ran and hid in her room for the rest of the day -Peter told me he saw Valerie crying again, when I asked her about it she changed the subject -Peter has many interesting things to say, he told me a story about a ‘lost, lonely, loving, abandoned’ cat also named Peter
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017
-Valerie bakes when she needs time to herself, she burnt three batches of muffins today, still changes the subject to talk about the boys every time I ask how she's feeling -Sam is causing trouble again, how do I get through to this girl?
Wednesday, May 24th, 2017
-Sam smiled what looked like a genuine smile, she even laughed a bit, unfortunately, it was only because she tripped Nicholas and he began yelling and crying -Valerie found excuses not to talk to me all day, I’m starting to really worry about her
Thursday, May 25th, 2017
-Nicholas had a complete breakdown in our session today, it had something to do with Sam. -I have to think of some way to stop Sam from doing this… Her actions beg for attention but I can't validate her -Nicholas is prone to nightmares when he's like this, I'm going to stay the night again
Friday, May 26th, 2017
-Haven't seen Valerie all day? She normally hovers around the boys but she was nowhere to be found… Side note: I totally forgot it was Ben’s birthday yesterday and my phone was dead so I didn't even tell him I wasn't going to be home….. I really screwed up this time….
Monday, May 29th, 2017
-Sam tried to stab Peter at lunch today, Peter stabbed her in self-defence and hasn't stopped crying since -I can't put Sam in solitary again, she acts like she doesn't care but the light fades more from her eyes each time she returns. I think she needs someone to trust her, to forgive her. Her emotions are building up, she needs a release...
Tuesday, May 30th, 2017
-Valerie was doting on Peter, he's still upset about yesterday, Sam didn't like it. No idea what happened, the girls started yelling, I would have never imagined that look on Valerie's face. -Valerie hasn't come out of her room yet, I’m really concerned for her, I am going to spend the night Side note: I called Ben to tell him, he broke up with me. I'm upset but these kids need me
Wednesday, May 31st, 2017
-Sam legitimately tried to kill Peter. She was sedated and transferred back to the high-security hospital -Nicholas saved Peter, he saved him but Sam pushed Nicholas down the stairs, had to call an ambulance, his mother is transferring him somewhere ‘safer’... -Valerie watched it all, there was nothing she could do but she blames herself. I'm going to spend the night to keep an eye on her
Thursday, June 1st, 2017
I fell asleep…. I fell asleep and now she's gone…. broke into the medicine cabinet…. Peter found her this morning after she didn't wake him up for breakfast. She looked almost peaceful as they carried her body away…. This is my fault... if I had sent Sam to solitary this wouldn't have happened….
Friday, June 2nd, 2017
-Peter doesn't understand, he kept asking me where Valerie is…. I don't have the heart to explain it again, I don't have the strength to do this anymore. -I quit, this afternoon I just quit. I'm done. That place is haunted by the memories of that beautiful girl who took her life in a place designed to save her. -Peter is alone there, no one understands him, I'm alone too…. I'm going to save him, I swear I'll get him out of there soon
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a1detective · 4 years
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Update, 12/19/2019
If we can be forced to say a man is a woman, there is nothing we can’t be forced to say.  If a lesbian can be forced to have sex with men, there is nothing we can’t be forced to do.  We will all increasingly be pressured to publicly affirm our support for these mores to the point where there will be nothing we can’t be forced to think.  And that’s the point.  A society whose subjects must not only declare but actually convince themselves that 2+2=5 is a society that is truly totalitarian, regardless of whatever lip service its politicians pay to democracy.
Read more: https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2019/12/transgenders_attacking_ Follow us: @AmericanThinker on Twitter | AmericanThinker on Facebook
——————————————
Original Article:
Satire: BY JEFFREY A. FRIEDBERG
FROM BENEATH AREA 52….
images.techhive.com
<<<<<——————>>>>>
NOTE from beneath Area 52: 9/8/2019
This piece of satire really struck a nerve or a thong or jockstrap or tooth or something. Because it’s still getting Visits, and heated “Comments,” even though it was originally posted,  7/8/2019, which a relatively long time ago, in Internet days.
9/12/2019: ACTUALLY, it even seems to me, to be under some sort of attack….
If you hate the article so much, why don’t you just scrub the article from your site(s)?
Why Not?
I GUESS, MAYBE, BECAUSE IT GETS YOU CLICKS ??  🙂
This article is getting so many clicks, maybe I should put some ads on my site, which earns NOTHING, and write more articles like this one?
Thank you so much for the Traffic   🙂
<<<——->>>
Let me “signal” here that I don’t care what “Gay” does with each other. We always had Uncle Maurice—who was NEVER, “in the closet.” The Gay Hairdressers Association of Philadelphia always treated me politely as an 18 year old, hot-looking, lifeguard. 
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Jeffrey A. Friedberg…”Even I was Once As You….”
<<<<<——————>>>>>
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KATHY GRIFFIN IS DOING **WHAT** TO SMILING, SELF-PROCLAIMED, GAY ANDERSON COOPER? “Kathy Griffin has taken TV to a whole new level by giving Anderson Cooper’s ‘sack’ (her words, not mine) a smooch on CNN’s live New Year’s Eve broadcast.  I wonder if she missed the announcement that he’s gay? You can see the whole twisted thing here.”
———
Groin To Groin??
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cdn.newspunch.com – OMG! I thought that was a woman! – Child laying on top of “Drag Queen Reader,” at a “reading.” Laying there, Groin to groin?
BUT—OH, WAIT!
STOP THE PRESSES!
THIS UPDATE (9/12/2019) EXPLAINS EVERYTHING:
Drag queen blames little children for shocking photos at public library
  Child Abuse, Drag Queen Story Hour, Drag Queen Story Time, Homosexuality, Oregon, Portland, Public Libraries, Transgenderism
PORTLAND, Oregon, September 10, 2019 (LifeSiteNews) — The drag queen who was shown in multiple disturbing photos to have frolicked on the floor with young children crawling over him at a Drag Queen Story Hour blames those children for the backlash he experienced.
LifeSiteNews first brought photo evidence of children having inappropriate contact with drag queen Carla Rossi at Portland, Oregon’s St. John’s Library to the attention of the public in July. The photos, which had been posted on the Multnomah County Library’s own Flickr account in October 2018, were quickly removed after the LifeSiteNews report went viral.
Drag queen Rossi, who last year said the kids were climbing on top of him after a dance move called a “death drop,” changed his tune after receiving criticism, saying the kids knocked him over as he tried to fight them off. He also blames his bad hip and the six-inch heels he was wearing at the time.
In an October 2018 Instagram posting in which he was pictured with a little girl lying on top of him, he said, “Drag Queen Storytime yesterday ended with a death drop on a bubble wrap dance floor as the babies crawled all over Carla Gulliver’s Travels–style, and I have the best job in the world.”
Shortly after LifeSiteNews drew attention to the troubling scene in the Portland library,  Rossi’s gleeful tune changed. In a subsequent Instagram post, he said he didn’t so much want to “set the record straight” as “break it altogether.”
“The photographed kids knocked me over and piled on me, and I laughed with them and their parents and the library director and told them we had to get up as I tried to look out for my bad hip in the process,” said Rossi.
“What would you do differently if kids having a Cher dance party — on bubble wrap — knocked you over in six-inch heels and a floor length rainbow caftan?” he asked.
—https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/drag-queen-blames-little-children-for-shocking-photos-at-public-library
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https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/drag-queen-blames-little-children-for-shocking-photos-at-public-library
———
Ass To Groin??
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rwcnews.com – “8-Year-Old Becomes Drag Queen, Left Supports Behavior Despite Claims Of Child Abuse.”
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  Duckduckgo.com
<<<——————>>>
  GAY MEN IN MUSLIM HANDS. “Kill All The Gays:”
“اقتلهم.”
What does the US Liberal say? “Oh, that photo was taken in Turkey.” I see—so— what? In that case it doesn’t matter? Ca ne fait rien?
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        OMG! And I Thought This Was A Woman! i.dailymail.co.uk
GAY SEX TO BE REQUIRED FOR ALL? (“EXCEPT MUSLIMS?”)
Probably not immediately, but maybe—yeah.
Well, no, but—yeah, could be.
Nah. No.
Oh, speaking satirically, maybe at some future time, maybe when the diseased media, politicians, Hollywood, and other perverted social warriors decide, “The time is right,” but not right now. Nah.
BTW, no word from Muslims, but I already, however, totally do see maybe having Gay sex as a Test—a pre-requirement for joining ANTIFA (pronounced, “an-teefa.”) 🙂
youtube
  * I read someplace where Transgenders are upset and mad that “straights won’t date them.”
I can’t remember where I saw that. But this obviously has to be fixed. It can maybe be done by legislation or Executive order. Under democrat rules of equality, these trannie “folks” are apparently entitled to have sex with ANYbody they choose.
It seems to me that the LBGTXYZ (or Whatever) already rules Earth.
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fthmb.tqn.com
It seems impossible to make a million, run for office, or keep your job without extolling a Gay Lifestyle, praising all sorts of not-usual sex, and watching Supergirl on Canadian TV.
When you even have the failed bartender, calling itself, “AOC,” on the Gay Bandwagon, then you know there is a large, loose, and smelly Movement coming.
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“UHHhhhhhhh…I feel it COMING! (EEehhhhhhhh!”
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Google, July 8, 2019
* I read someplace where we have already been asked to “take in” Nancy Pelosi’s gentle, divine, illegals. You know, board and feed them in our homes? The way King George had us take in British soldiers around 1776?
# # # #
UPDATE, 7/9/19: “
“NYT: Middle-Class Americans Must Sacrifice Their Suburbs to Aid Poor Immigrants”
I CAN ALMOST NOT EVEN KEEP UP WITH THIS WILD DEMOCRAT LIBERAL CRAP. IT JUST KEEPS POURING OUT—LIKE PROJECTIVE DIARRHEA.
YET, I REMAIN PROPHETIC.
SUBSCRIBE HERE.
* I ask, can demanding that we all have gay sex be far behind?
The intention of a group called SHFA (Super Happy Fun America) to run a Straight Pride Parade in Boston drew a whopping amount of poisonous attacks from the Left media, both social and mainstream.
The SHFA has been adjudicated as promoting homophobia, which is totally untrue, but at least could be remotely perceived, giving the usual twisted logic from the Left.  There are gays among the SHFA members and main figures of the event — Milo Yiannopoulos, a “right-wing” openly gay activist, has been appointed the parade’s grand marshal.
Nevertheless, the “homophobia” tag is not nearly enough.  On top of that, the parade organizers have been branded in the mainstream media as “people with connections to white supremacists” (defined as such by the ACLU) and the Alt Right.  Apparently, some among SHFA have certain association with the ResistMarxism organization, built with an aspiration to defend our Constitution, our Declaration of Independence, and the economic system based on capitalism (rather than communism or Hitler-style national socialism).  That, in the eyes of “progressives,” is a major sin on its own.
—americanthinker.com
Wow, I give this group, SHFA, positive credit. Even though they are already an object of leftist, deluded, lying, communist scorn. And will probably draw hatred, and violence.
I mean—they represent what was normal in America just a few years ago. Now, apparent maniacs have seemingly turned a world upside down with an unfathomable drive for seemingly “gay” ultimate supremacy.
And, “Socialist” sounds so much nicer than, ‘COMMUNIST.”
Who will protect this patriot group from the “tolerant,” benevolent, divine Left? Not the mayor of marathon-bombed and 9/11-airport Boston; he appears to be a deluded fool. Not the politicians, media scum, or kneeling (kneeling?) “entertainers.
The police? Maybe; we still have to see if they will even “approve” the march, we are told.
Because, you see: in my opinion, a “Gay,” Leftist, Communist, Illegal, Muslim-Jihadist, and Democrat-almost-Mafia-like Rule has somehow been insinuated into America’s Blood—as being “the new Normal.”
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d.ibtimes.co.uk
YOU HAD BETTER OBEY.
BECAUSE, “Social media,” and mafiosi, ‘bots, algorithms, search engines, leftists, and communists, can Find you.
They can SILENCE you.
Not only might they critique your punctuation, and grammar, But They Might Also evaluate sentence construction!
WORSE— they can be FUNNY!
Even though it’s just satire, they can say it’s not— that it’s “the government,” that it’s “a conservative ploy,” or that it’s “from Area 51!” Nothing matters to Them—certainly not the truth—only ascendancy, of their Communist Doctrine.
But, they Can Still Fix You in Place. They can Scorn and Attack you, They can Swarm as taught doctrinally in “schools,” Destroy you, and Get You Fired. Your Life could be over.
Therein lies your democrat “freedom” and “equality.”
Love it. Live it:
“FREE AT LAST!”
  Hey Kids, on both your sides: Jeez—CAN YOU MAYBE BE MORE TOLERANT OF EACH OTHER?
.
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  Jeff Dunham’s, “Achmed The Dead Terrorist.” – i.ytimg.com/vi/kF7znANAAkM/maxresdefault.jpg
* *  PS: Kids, I had so much hate mail, sex-filth, and death-threats from the “tolerant, fair, humorless, peace-loving” side—who seemed so hatefully intolerant and violent toward satire—that I could not keep The site cleaned of their remarks. I mean, I don’t think I can print what some sent me. 
So, I closed down “Comments.” 🙂
<<<——————>>>
    UPDATE: Will Having Gay Sex Soon Be Required For All American Citizens? (“Excluding Muslims?”) Update, 12/19/2019 If we can be forced to say a man is a woman, there is nothing we can't be forced to say…
0 notes
broodingsoul · 7 years
Text
84 Random Things About This Week’s So You Think You Can Dance (S14E8)
1.  Time to reveal the Top 10!
2.  Every season, it’s a struggle to get through the Vegas—excuse me, “Academy”—episodes and then suddenly, we’re competing.
3.  Group Performance - All-Stars “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” This was just really beautiful, and perfectly showed why these dancers are All-Stars.  Only 4 of them are contemporary dancers, but they all dance it so beautifully.  The choreography is lovely; I think my favorite movements are the little wrist-flicks that occasionally happen to “knock-knock-knocking.”  Also, literally every time I see Robert dance I get really teary-eyed because, y’know, he almost died.  And then he was told he might never dance again.  Just overall, absolutely beautiful.
4.  And I guarantee you it was a Travis Wall number.
5.  Well fuck me in the ass, it was Mandy Moore.
6.  I don’t know if you know this, but she was the choreographer for the Academy Award nominated movie La La Land.
7.  I don’t know if you heard of that movie.
8.  It’s called La La Land.
9.  Also, just so you know, Mandy Moore choreographed it.  The show doesn’t like to brag about it much.
10.  So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Mandy Moore did the choreography for La La Land.
11.  Twitch and Allison are literally the most adorable thing to exist, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
12.  The only thing I care about when it comes to who’s in the Top 10 is whether or not Dassy made it, because she is My Everything (by Ariana Grande).
13.  Cat just said “Rama Lama” and I got chills.  No group number will ever beat that dance.
14.  WADE ROBSON HAD A KID?!
15.  Wade Robson is straight?
16.  Oh fuck, I completely forgot about Vanessa Hudgens.
17.  Oh Mary.  Oh Mary, what are these bubble sleeves?  It looks like a 6-year old designed their ideal wedding dress.
18.  Come on, Fik-Shun, don’t let me down.  Pick Dassy.  Choose Dassy.
19.  YAS BITCH DASSY YAS!
20.  Daisy & All-Star Fik-Shun “Shake Your Pants” - Hip-hop, choreographed by Poppin Pete Watching Dassy dance just makes me smile so much.  She just looks like she’s having so much fun and it draws my eye to her.  Fid-Shun is probably one of the most talented and likable dancers on this series and I can’t even watch him right now, because Dassy’s energy completely steals the show.  I don’t really care for this routine, but it doesn’t matter, because they look like they’re having fun, so it makes me feel like I”m having fun.
21.  Vanessa Hudgens just had a full judging moment that didn’t make me want to roll my eyes.  Good job, V!
22.  I really hope Allison chose Logan. There was something about his audition for the All-Stars that made me just keep gasping.
23.  Well I’m 2 for 2 for picks.  Let’s see if I can keep this up.  Which means I just shot myself in the foot.
24.  Logan & All-Star Audrey (of whom I have NO knowledge whatsoever because I didn’t watch Season 9) “Protocol” - Contemporary, choreographed by Tyce Diorio I know Allison was concerned about Logan only being 18, but he honestly dances beyond his years.  He has a maturity about him in this routine where he’s just…in charge.  Sometimes his hands get a little weak, like the moves don’t quite reach all the way through his arms.  And I honestly didn’t watch Audrey at all, sorry ‘bout it girl.  BUT I think this is one of my favorite routines Tyce has ever done—really sexy, really dangerous—and I wish so much I could’ve seen Allison dance it with Logan.
25.  I have no idea who Audrey is, but major props to her for learning this routine literally HOURS before the performance.
26.  And Zachary got picked up to play Mr. Mestophales in Cats, which just shows that some things are meant to be, and some are not, and he should be very proud of himself.
27.  I want Jenna to have chosen Kiki because I think he’s sexy as fuck, and also because I feel like Concrete kind of gave up and that’s a big red flag.
28.  YES!  KIKI!  Three for three.
29.  Kiki and All-Star Jenna “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back” - Cha-Cha, choreographed by Dmitry Chaplin First of all:  Kiki is sexy as fuuuuuuuuuuuc, holy shit.  Second of all, a Shawn Mendes song for a cha-cha?  At least it’s not that friendzone bullshit “Treat You Better.”  ANYWAY.  Kiki is an extremely good dancer when it comes to technique, but this cha-cha mostly lacks a lot of sex appeal from him (apparently I find him sexy because he’s a hot dork and not because of his dancing).  There’s only one moment where i really believe him as Jenna’s partner, and it’s when she kicks back into a développé and he has a moment of sexual chemistry with her.  Otherwise, it feels like he’s just there as a prop.  And it sucks because goddammit, Jenna is sexy as shit right now (secretly I really love her shh don’t tell) and I just keep looking at her because she’s stealing the show, simply by connecting to the style and tone of the dance.  His partner work is great, but I just need a little more OOMPH from him to really care about him as a competitor.
30.  But as long as Kiki keeps his shirt open like that, I’m good.
31.  “I’d like to dance a paso doble with him, I tell ya” is still my all-time favorite Mary Murphy moment.
32.  “It was very tough on Kiki because I found it very difficult to take my eyes off you…I just worry that the audience is not going to see a lot of your incredible world class style.”  There we go.  Nigel nailed it for me.  Kiki is a sexy dancer, but Jenna is just in this stratosphere where Kiki is going to have to WORK just to enter it.
33.  I care less about whom Cyrus chose as a partner than I do about Cyrus, which is to say very little.
34.  OH!  I do care about whom Cyrus chose, because I really want Kaylee to be on this show.  I loved her audition in a way that I loved Melanie Moore’s audition in Season 8.
35.  THANK YOU, Cyrus.  You finally did something right.  Also, 4/4.
36.  Kaylee & All-Star Cyrus “Clown” - Contemporary, choreographed by Tessandra Chavez Stunning choreography that somehow incorporates contemporary, hip-hop, and ballroom.  I don’t always love Kaylee’s face, in a way that I can’t explain.  I think her face over-acts, maybe?  But she dances the routine BEAUTIFULLY.  Her body tells the story that her face is trying too hard to tell.
37.  I’m not in the slightest bit surprised to find that Vanessa Hudgens has been in a fight where she threw shoes at someone, or at least, that she wished she had thrown shoes at someone and is just pretending she did.
38.  Honestly, if Gaby didn’t choose Lex, she’d be a moron.  I’ve had him pegged for Top 10 from his first audition.
39.  Fuck, I’ve had him pegged as Top 4 since his first audition.
40.  Good choice, Gabs.  5/5
41.  Lex & All-Star Gaby “More” - Tap, choreographed by Anthony Morigerato Lex seems really relaxed, and in a performance pocket that you only find by letting go and just being in it and feeling the groove.  This isn’t my favorite tap routine on this show, but I love it for how classically performative it is, like, the very essence of 30s/40s dancing.  It’s making me really happy because both Gaby and Lex are having fun with it.  I still think Lex has the power to make it to Top Four, especially after seeing him let go with a routine like this.
42.  “There was a really sweet, bashful, charming thing about you!”  Hudgens kind of just pointed it out:  I think Lex probably always felt like he had to be this super serious adult and no one ever let him be a kid, until Sonya and Gaby finally gave him permission.
43.  “There’s only one form of transportation on this show and it’s the HOT TAMALE TRAIN WOO-WOOOOOO!”  There was a time when I absolutely hated the Hot Tamale Train, but now I love how it’s, like, quintessential SYTYCD material.
44.  It’s like that one aunt you always thought was super over-the-top, but then you grew up and realized that she just likes to have fun and not take things too seriously.
45.  COMFORT.  MARK WAS THE FIRST AUDITIONED THIS SEASON AND HIS AUDITION HEALED ME.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PICK HIM.
46.  COMFORT YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITES AND YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE THANK YOU SO MUCH.
47.  ALSO 6/6 I AM DOING SO GOOD.
48.  Mark & All-Star Comfort “REDMERCEDES” - Hip-Hop, choreographed by Luther Brown Y’all.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but this routine ended and I just BURST into tears.  There is something about this man that just makes my life so GOOD when I watch him dance.  It just makes everything feel better.  OKAY:  Mark has swag.  That seems like a weird thing to say, but he came out with swag and humor, and he kept up with Comfort in a style where she could easily overpower him (*cough*Kiki*cough*), but he Kept. Up.  This is definitely a routine I’d go back to watch again and again, because it was so entertaining, in both choreography and execution.
49.  “Do you know who Rufio is?”  “Yeah, bangarang, baby!”  Mark, I already want to marry you, you didn’t have to do that.
50.  “You just lit. It. Up. out there on the floor.”  File under: Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Mary Say
51.  Now that we’ve seen Mark be a complete and total ham (and apparently needing to be censored), it’ll be interesting to see if he can ever pull some sort of restraint.
52.  Remember how I love Marko?  Fuck, I love Marko.  “Turn to Stone” is still my all-time favorite routine this show has ever produced.
53.  I honestly don’t remember either of Marko’s team members, but let’s say he chooses Koine.
54.  Oh look, he chose Koine!  7/7.
55.  Koine & All-Star Marko “Memories” - Contemporary, choreographed by Stacey Tookey (so you know she was like, “This routine is about love, and a connection between two people who have very strong feelings, and just an overall sense of humanity” I mean the song is called fucking MEMORIES for God’s sake, I fucking hate Stacey Tookey but I won’t hold it against Koine and Marko) Koine’s extension is unbelievable.  Her lines are so crisp and clean and so well completed that it’s like she becomes a dull three feet longer than she is.  There’s a great moment where the combination of choreography, music, and lighting design gave me tingles, when the lights flashed like stars and suddenly everything was golden.  And just as I was about to pan Stacey fucking Tookey for this polaroid moment at the end, I Got the routine, and cry-gasped.  Fuck you, Tookey, you win this time.
56.  Goddammit, Marko is so beautiful?  Like?  I can’t?
57.  I’m going to have to go back and watch this one.  It really was magical, Stacey.
58.  And the word “magical” is not one I like to use to describe performances.
59.  But like?  Marko’s face?  It’s just?  So Beautiful?
60.  Other people I don’t remember:  Paul’s team.
61.  I 100% even forgot that Paul was one of the all-stars.
62.  He grew up into a fine-ass man, tho.  Like, damn.
63.  Let’s say he goes with Sydney, because why not?
64.  OH HE CHOSE SYDNEY!  8/8
65.  Sydney & All-Star Paul “All Stars” - Ballroom, choreographed by Val Chmerkovisky This honestly feels so much like a “Dancing With The Stars” routine.  I hate it.  I hate it so much.  I don’t care about Sydney at all, and this is the worst ballroom routine I’ve ever seen Paul do.  Like, Sydney has great legs?  And she seems to be doing everything well enough?  But Paul is super-showy, and I don’t see a connection between the two of them at all.  I blame the choreography, which I absolutely hate, like, wtf Val.
66.  Oh, right, Val is a DWTS choreographer.  ‘Nuff said.
67.  “What beautiful ankles you have” is a compliment you’d only hear on a show like this, and I love it.
68.  Sydney really does have great ankles though.
69.  MY BOYFRIEND ROBERT ROLDAN IS ABOUT TO DANCE A TRAVIS WALL ROUTINE NOBODY LOOK AT ME.
70.  I don’t remember Jonathan or Taylor, but to be honest, I don’t remember a lot of this season’s auditions.
71.  I kind of hope Robert chooses Jonathan just so I can see two guys dance together this, but I’m gonna say he chose Taylor.
72.  Oh look, I’m 9/9.
73.  I just realized Cat Deeley’s outfit looks like the dress version of Britney Spears red leather jumpsuit from the “Oops” video.
74.  Taylor & All-Star Robert “Change is Everything” - Contemporary, choreographed by Travis Wall Stunning body control from both of them.  Beautiful shapes.  This choreography is ridiculous.  Really elegant but animalistic at the same time.  This routine is A Story that 100 people could interpret 100 different ways, and Robert and Taylor are Telling It.  It ends with this great forward drop from Taylor and Robert stiff-arm catching her, and I just went, “Oh!”  Absolutely amazing.  I’m speechless.
75.  Also, Travis, here’s your next Emmy nomination. I’m going to watch this 700 times to catch all 700 stories, especially considering the lyrical play on words “This moment, change is everything” “This moment changes everything.”
76.  And you guys, Robert was supposed to have NEVER DANCED AGAIN I AM A MESS.
77.  Nigel hasn’t remembered any of the dancers I haven’t remembered, and that makes me feel very, very worried.
78.  Okay, Jasmine.  Let’s round it out with 100%.
79.  I don’t remember her team either, fuck.
80.  I’m gonna say Robert.
81.  Holy shit, I just went 10/10 choosing the Top 10.  ALSO HE LOOKS SO HAPPY TO BE IN THE TOP TEN GOOD CHOICE JASMINE.
82. Robert & All-Star Jasmine “Perm” - Hip-hop, choreographed by Chris Scott Robert is a total showman.  He might not have the technique or be the best dancer, but he goes out and lays it all out there, and just has a shit ton of fun.  He knows how to work choreography and the crowd to make it a good time for all.  Halfway thru, the choreography gets kinda “meh” for me, which happens with a lot of Chris Scott routines for me (he’s the Ryan Murphy of dance), but it’s saved by Jasmine and Robert having the attitude to sell it.
83.  The fact that Jasmine was one of Beyonce’s dancers makes me so fucking happy and inappropriately proud.
84.  Group Performance - All Performers “This Time” - Jazz, choreographed by Wade & Amanda Robson, and Tony Testa I feel like the routine built up to a moment that didn’t happen at the end, and it was no Rama Lama, but who cares.  It was a fucking mind-bend to watch.
My Top Three 1.  Taylor & All-Star Robert - “Change Is Everything” 2.  Mark & All-Star Comfort - “REDMERCEDES” 3.  Koine & All-Star Marko - “Memories”
My Bottom Three 3.  Kaylee & All-Star Cyrus - “Clown”:  When I thought back on the routines, I didn’t remember this one. 2.  Kiki & All-Star Jenna - “There’s Nothing Holding Me Back”:  Jenna sold it, but Kiki is the competitor and he didn’t shine 1.  Sydney & All-Star Paul - “All Star”:  I hated everything about this performance
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breezytealy · 7 years
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FINALLY finished a conference poster that was driving me up the wall so here! Let’s do a tagging meme :D! Rolling in the two I got from @redasuki and @maiikawriter, thank you so much! :) 
1. Answer the new questions given by the previous person 2. Write 11 new questions 3. Tag 11 people 
1. Have you ever been out of the country? If so, where? Yup! I’m in Europe so it’s more common! I’ve been to Spain (Mallorca, Fuerteventura) and Disneyland Paris for holidays as a kid, and for work I’ve been to France (Lyon, Marseille), Netherlands (Noordwijk), Switzerland (Zurich) and USA (Hawai’i) three times :). The best was Hawaii by far, got to use the telescopes, and the islanders are genuinely lovely people!   
2. Onions - yes or no? YES they’ll in most things I cook.
3. What’s the best kind of cookie? No contest, Sainsburys raspberry and white chocolate. BUT if you’re using the term cookie to mean any type of biscuit, I am rather partial to Viennese sandwiches.
4. What do you think draws you in to make you attach to a show or character? The greater the potential dorkiness the better. Guess that’s why I love Dragon Ball, they’re all so ridiculous. I’m not one for ‘badass’ characters.
5. What has made you smile today? Read lovely feedback on an arts I did - haven’t posted it yet but will with the next textbook chapter. I’m rather proud of it as it shows my progress, so was nice to hear from other people that they liked it!
6. Do you collect anything? Ah, no sorry! Cringey memories? Hehe!
7. Do you have a favorite (or funny) tumblr memory? Seeing my friend @jaalamadarav‘s BIOWARE news blog take off :) I get to point at them like YEAHHHH! They’re really committed and a lovely person.
8. What’s one thing you wish your parents had taught you earlier in life? How to drive at 17 (earliest age in UK). My Dad freaked out when I moved the car he didn’t want to teach me after, and I couldn’t afford lessons until mid-20s. I have my license and can drive fine, but not confident if there are other cars.
9. Do you live in the past, in the present, or for the future? Cringe about the past (learning not to), get excited about the future, and daydream of alternative presents aka stories aka DB let’s be real.
10. What’s a typical day like for you? 7:15 wake up and play with the buns, get ready, 8:30 leave to get to work for 9:30, be a scientist until 5:30, hour getting home again and spend the evening with the buns, my partner, drawing and writing. Sometimes go to the beach in the evening no matter the weather. I’ve been drawing every day since November, and now writing. It’s fun! 
11. Do you have siblings? If yes, do you have any routines that you share or specific things you do together? If no, do you wish you did? I do! Younger sis! We watch Teamfourstar together when we meet up. Also recently found out that, even though we haven’t discussed music preferences other than our particular faves for basically eight years (she is the biggest fan of RHCP going), we like the same recent music O_O.
12.  Have you ever seen a ghost?  If yes, how?  If no, do you believe in them? Nope, not seen one and I don’t believe in them, sorry. Taken too many physics classes and can’t see where ghosts would fit in. Whilst physics isn’t finished there’s some gaps that are closed :(. Though I am easily scared in the dark!
13.  Where’s the coolest/greatest place you’ve ever been? Working at a telescope on the summit of Mauna Kea, Hawai’i. At night if your eyes adjust, you can just about read by the light of the stars alone. If I could upload one particular group of memories to the internet for people, it would be those. OH WAIT I DID (don’t watch the first two videos they’re awful, was just trying my hand at it LOL). Telescope tour you can’t actually get as public :)
14.  Do you ship any rare pairs?  If so, what pairing? Trunks x Mai and Goten x Marron (when adults, obvs). Marten is my only noncanon ship I guess, otherwise I roll with canon. I’m a little invested in Marten now for some mad reason (I blame @acelious) but if the characterisations diverge from my headcanons if Super goes beyond EoZ, I’ll just accept whatever they give there.
15.  What’s your favorite smell? Wish I could say something sensible but probably petrol <_<;. Vanilla if I’m not risking killing brain cells? Haha!
16.  If your leisure time is limited to just enough for one activity, do you choose to watch tv, play games, read, draw…? Apparently draw? Though textbook right now so drawing/writing, textbook counts as one thing I’m going to pretend :).
17.  Is your hair naturally curly or straight? Tis wavey! I can straighten and curl it and it mostly stays. Humidity makes it wavey but it doesn’t look too bad.
18.  Would your ideal dream home be in a city or rural area? Rural by the sea but with a train station :). I live in a seaside town now!  
19.  How many languages do you speak? To quote Bruce Willis, I only speak two languages - good English and bad English. I can speak Cockney Rhyming Slang! Didn’t even know half the words I used were CRS until I saw a list of them, haha!
20.  What’s your favorite holiday? Camping! Haven’t done it in a while but would like to again!
21.  What’s your favorite music genre? Well according to what I’m liking on Spotify at the moment it’s the New Wave/Synth Pop resurgence and Indie Pop (aka, Walk the Moon etc).
22.  Are you an introvert or an extrovert?  Introverted! I have been known to nap at parties when it gets too much. Is just my way. I get tired after a couple of hours, unless it’s with friends where we just ignore each other for an hour or so.  New Questions! 1. What’s your favourite childhood memory? 2. You get one character to ride and die with from a fandom associated with the tagged blog. Who do you pick as a bestie and why? 3. If given a blockbuster budget and full creative control, what film/documentary would you make? 4. In the same vein, if you could run a business with financial security to tide you over the difficult start up, what would you run? Keep it small or go global? 5. How often are you caught out by the weather (no brolly/coat, too hot for jeans/biking in high winds)? 6. Any phobias or silly things you’re scared of? 7. What’s your “I totally shouldn’t be doing this but I’m an adult so screw you I can do what I want” activity? (spending, particular food etc?) 8. What’s a recent forehead slapping “I’m glad no one was filming that” moment you’ve had? 9. Magic fairy gives you points to insta-level up a skill. What do you pick? (Something brand new, something you’ve “mastered”? Something you find hard?) 10. Magic fairy also lets you magically change the colour of one type of object to any colour you want instantly and permanently. What do you do/pick and what havoc does it cause? 11. What are you procrastinating by answering these questions? ;) Tagging: @jaalamadarav @munchkinkittyhams @acelious @questdrivencollie @fanblot @repost-this-image @myfandompost only if you want to, of course!
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countdowntocake · 7 years
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50 Personal Questions
Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes! Tagged by @leorysxi Tagging No One! 1. What kind of food can’t you stand?
Anything that's really cheap or really processed (basically most candy and junk food, except for some quality chocolate). Also coconut. Fuck coconut. 2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?
As of right now, having to remember princess lessons in MidCin and IkeSen. If I could just store infinite stamina (or at least like 10 hours) I'd be such a happy camper. 3. Have you got any useless talents? Idk if it counts as a talent but I can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction from left-to-right. 4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Remembering things. 5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking. There are plenty, but off the top of my head Andy Biersack for guys (I don't even listen to BVB but I do listen to his solo album lol) and Zendaya or Sofia Vergara for ladies.
 6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Daydreaming or playing video games (I got my first hand-me-down DS when I was 7). 7. What is something you’re proud of? I'm plenty cocky about a lot of things, but if I had to pick it would be that I was selected out of like 700 kids in my middle school to represent them in a young leadership conference during my first year there.
 8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? Vapidness in general. 
 9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a leader (see number 7)! One of my young childhood memories was when I was at the beach on vacation when I was maybe 6, and I was trying to direct a bunch of other little kids on how to build a proper sandcastle (I'm now currently discovering my interest in the field of architecture, funnily enough).
 10. What kind of student are/were you? Extremely curious, tends to monopolize the teacher, teachers pet, has never dipped below a 3.7 GPA.
 11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? I have absolutely no clue tbh.
 12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion. The inevitability of my own death. 13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Yes, and the first that comes to mind is Edea Lee from the Bravely Default series. She's the daughter of the Grand Marshal (king) of her kingdom, and was raised to follow in her father's footsteps. Though her somewhat biased education had led her to see the world in a very black/white way, her world view is forced to change as she journeys out into the world and joins the other heroes of the story. She wants to make her father and teachers proud, but does not hesitate to disobey them and her state when she sees the consequences of their actions. She's proud, headstrong, and kind (plus she loves food lmao I love Edea and I could talk about her for hours and I'm literally going to name my firstborn daughter after her and no one can stop me). 
 14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I don't really go to parties unless they're small gatherings with friends or family, and the idea of drinking in public terrifies me so idk I'll figure it out eventually.
 15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? It will definitely take awhile. I can get crushes, sure, but if and when I start looking for someone to spend/dedicate my whole life to, I plan to find the right one the first time.
 16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? This is going to sound shallow but 100 casual friends. No matter how perfect we are as friends, only spending time with one person wears thin after awhile.
 17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? Neat-freak, but not extremely so. I just like me some good organization!
 18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy. When I think of cozy, one old southern home in my dad's family comes to mind. In the middle of a town as rural as can be, it's a large, charming white cottage surrounded by massive oak trees. The only sounds that reach it are the occasional train the crosses the edge of the property. Whether I'd be out on the porch swing overlooking the yard, the sunroom in the back with an old couch along an entire wall with a massive window, or even perched in one of the massive oaks on the property, I'd stay there forever and nap.
 19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?
Like I said, I'm totally naming my first daughter Edea. 20. What was your favorite book as a child? When I was in second grade, I used to get in massive trouble for reading the Young Nancy Drew series in math class. I also love the Harry Potter series, and found a book called The School for Good and Evil on the first day of 6th grade and have loved the series since.
 21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Snapchat, Jake Paul, fidget spinners... I could go on.
 22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated. Marina and the Diamonds! I hear everyone talking about Halsey or Lana Del Ray, but no one ever talks about Marina and her awesome music! ;-;
 23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? I have no clue, but someone I could get comfortable with at least (not a guy, I'm way too shy!).
 24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? I'm just going to be generic and say travel the world.
 25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?
If it's something I feel confident in my knowledge/ability to debate about, then I'll never hold back. 26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?
I'm not one for fads usually, so I don't really have an answer. 27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?
Idk, I was a pretty cool kid. I usually knew when something was too dumb for me. 28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?
A quick wit. 29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) I usually make a wish-list, but I've always gotten plenty of video games, and in recent years I've been receiving jewelry as a gift more often (mostly from my mom because we watch JTV together sometimes and she knows my taste lmao)
 30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? I only know English fluently, but I'm learning Spanish in school, slowly but surely.
 31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? The countryside definitely has its draws (see number 18), but I've also lived in a city all my life and the convenience of everything is really nice...
 32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? I never would have thought it as a kid, but I actually love reading nonfiction. You don't have to struggle to find something with a good story that's suited to your tastes, and you get to LEARN stuff.
 33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?
I guess it depends on what type of spotlight. If it's just drama/popularity, then no thanks, but I definitely want appreciation for what I do and what I've a accomplished so far. 34. Favorite holiday? Easter for pastels and nostalgia, Mardi Gras for fun and family, and Christmas for gifts and candy.
 35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? PLANNING. Because STRATEGY. IS. ALWAYS. (srsly tho don't try to get me into a plan that hasn't been thought out yet because I will ask a million questions and start planning everything for you)
 36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Most things wouldn't be the same now since I did them as a child, but honestly if I could replay Breath of the Wild with a blank slate I totally would. I tried to take it slow but still ended up rushing the story ;-;
 37. What hobbies do you have? Still video games and daydreaming :p but now with the lovely additions of fanfiction and YouTube!
 38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? Teleporting? You can't kill a man with it, but it's still pretty useful.
 39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you? (Depending on how you met me) I'm super polite and apparently "talk fancy", or that I swear like a sailor in the most deadpan way.
 40. Something that took you way too long to figure out? I can't remember anything off the top of my head...
 41. Worst injury you’ve had? I've never broken a bone, but once when I was like four I got this HORRIBLE carpet burn on my chin from watching cartoons on my stomach at a friend's house.
 42. Any morbid fascinations?
Not really. 43. Describe your sense of humor. Dry, often dark, and is typically enhanced by timing and delivery (deadpan, usually).
 44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I'm honestly pretty happy where I am. The past sucks in terms of conveniences and sanitation, and where I came from plays a huge part in who I am.
 45. Something you are irredeemably bad at? Probably dancing.
 46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through? When I was younger, my mom would ALWAYS correct me if I forgot to say ma'am or sir, but I'm so glad she stuck with it because now it's ingrained in my brain and helps me to be acknowledged/liked by my teachers and other adults.
 47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) Face tattoo! It doesn't have to be that big, right? Theoretically it could just look like the perfect makeup permanently on my face (and lord knows I'm too lazy for makeup). But realistically, I'm never getting a tattoo. 48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? Realist? I like to operate under "prepare for the worst and hope for the best". I'm confident in my ability to get myself where I want to be, but I know I'll have to work for it. 49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Probably something about my mind or abilities. I love being complimented on my looks of course (the other day when I was getting my hair done for school a stranger told me I have beautiful hair and I'm still happy about it), but whenever someone in MidCin compliments me as a princess I almost always screenshot it.
 50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you? (In real life) I'm not a total stuck-up bitch. Yes I'm confident in myself and yes I came from a relatively well-off background, but I like to think that I'm nicer than I first appear.
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casquecest · 7 years
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Tagged by the inimitable @sl-walker, I present to you:
TWENTY FACTS
about me:  Nic!
The facts I’m about to reveal are not at all influenced by the ones sl-walker did
1.  I wanted to be a volcanologist as a kid.  It was one of my earliest obsessions, and I was especially enamoured with the eruption of Mt Vesuvius in 79 AD.  I was finally able to make it to Pompeii in 2007, and it was a dream nearly twenty years in the making come true.  I wish I had had more time to explore; I’ll make it back one of these days.
2.  I tend to mimic accents as I hear them.  I don’t mean to, but it happens (and now I live in an area with a very distinctive accent, so it’s kind of ridiculous), although I never really fell in with the St Louis accent (where I was born and raised), which tends to be a bit nasal and ORs magically become ARs (”I lived off highway farty-far a majarity of my life”).
3.  I was selected to be in the choir of the Missouri Ambassadors of Music in 2002, which basically meant I got to go bum around Europe for a couple weeks and sing in empty churches with a slew of people from all around Missouri.  Our time in Austria marked the first time I got slightly drunk in memory (two-year-old me apparently got sloshed on the last warm dregs from Budweiser bottles revelers left on the pool deck at a party.  Pure class).
4.  I used to draw and write every single day.  Not so much these days.  I should really get back on that.
5.  I was held up at gunpoint in 2009 while sitting on my front stoop in St Louis.  Consequently, I’ve no real desire to interact with revolvers again (I thought I was cool, but a month or so after I got robbed, I was riding around with my dad and he asked me to get something out of the glove box, and a gun came tumbling out when I opened it, and I was just <=o.  So, yeah, not as chill as I thought).  I crashed at my friend’s place that night, and we had an awesome photo shoot in which we dressed up as Soviet soldiers, and I played the world’s smallest violin for my plight.
6.  I was at Game 5 of the 2006 World Series in which the Cardinals won =D =D =D.  I slept on the outfield at Busch Stadium that year as well (and I went to Opening Day, too).  That was the year that Ozzie Smith sat down next to me at the bar, we chatted, and he said “[I] really knew [my] baseball.” 
7.  I’m wicked good with years (like knowing when things occurred, as well as when movies and music were released).  It comes in terribly handy at trivia.
8.  I lived in London when I was 20.  I moved there knowing no one, with just a suitcase and $2000 in traveller’s cheques, which didn’t go terribly far since the exchange rate was awful for someone coming from the US (but I fully recognise it’s a lot more money than most people have), and it was the best thing I’ve done for myself, while also being among the worst because I think I’m constantly trying to recapture the feeling I had there - the freedom, the possibility.  I’ve been kind of restless since, which is also a good and bad thing.
9.  I can pop my limbs out of socket.  Though my thighs don’t disengage from my hips quite like they used to, I regularly sit with my arms out of socket.
10.  When I was little, I thought you pretty much got to choose if you became a man or a woman.  Like, I pretty much thought that if I wanted it hard enough, I could magically grow a dick as I got older.  That, or in my next incarnation, I’d be a boy, and I couldn’t wait.
11.  When I was about five or so, my mum was watching me in the bath and had to pee.  It was the first time I’d seen pubes, and I was aghast.  “WHAT HAPPENED?!  WHY DO YOU HAVE HAIR THERE?!” “It happens when you get older.” “That’s gross.  It won’t happen to me.” “It will.” “No, it won’t.  I won’t let it.” I was also very determined that I would not grow boobs.
I grew giant boobs, and I have pubes.  Life has been a continual disappointment to little Nic’s expectations of her body.
12.  My first vague memory is of my Aunt Cheryl giving me a stool with my name in removable blocks on it when I was about one.  More concretely, I remember when my brother was born when I was two, going to see him at the hospital, and calling him “baby doctor”.
13.  When I was about four or five, we lived with my grandparents while we were building a house, and my grandfather would take us around the yard (which was huge - about five acres - and full of hills).  There was a tree in the front yard where I decided Alvin & the Chipmunks lived.  There was a large stump in the back, my grandfather pointed it out to me, and said, “That’s where I found you.” Found me?  What?  I hadn’t been lost recently.  I hadn’t been round that stump with Grandpa before.  What did he mean? He told me a tale of a dark and stormy night, and him finding a large egg sat on that stump, which he brought inside, kept warm, and a bit later out I hatched. I was livid.  “I DIDN’T HATCH!” “Yes, you did.  Like a little birdie” “NO!  I’M NOT A BIRD, I’M A PERSON!!!!”
I don’t necessarily know what that proves or means in my development, but I feel it’s indicative of something.
14.  My first car was a 1995 T-Top Camaro.  There was a lot of space behind the backseat that served no real purpose, so I would decorate it seasonally.  I loved the fuck out of that car, but, sadly, it was totalled in a head-on collision in January of 2001.  I’ve had my current car since April 2001.  
15.  Speaking of decorating things seasonally, for high school graduation, my friend gave me a life size Fabio standup, so when we moved into an apartment together two years later, Fabio came along.  We’d dress him up for every holiday, and he would stand guard in front of the sliding glass door that led onto a small deck.  Every time we would leave the apartment and walk in the alley that deck overlooked, we’d glance up, see Fabio’s silhouette, and it’d scare the ever-living fuck out of us.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  TIME.
16.  In 2006, I had an apartment with two of my friends, and, upon hearing Pluto had been demoted, we decided to drink to its memory on the fire escape.  We sang songs for it, but our neighbours didn’t appreciate our form of mourning and called the cops on us.
17.  I get a lot of compliments on my hair colour, but I’ve never been overly fond of it myself.  
18.  I was in a band in high school, and we made the cover of the local alternative weekly (The Riverfront Times, or RFT as it’s now known).  They put a copy of it in my high school’s trophy case my senior year.  I doubt it’s still there, but it was nice to walk by it on the way to lunch and be like, ‘dat me’.
19.  I’m a published poet.  I even got a trophy for my shitty little scrawl.
20.  If I’ve not been drinking, I sleep four hours like clockwork.
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