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#I sound dramatic but there’s a very specific feeling I have that I can’t put into either drawing or words
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I haven’t drawn any proper personal work in a very very long time. I’ve felt quiet, and it’s difficult to draw silence. How do you materialize absence? So, here’s something small at least, and two versions of it ^^ I think the silhouette of the second turned out quite cute.
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janovavalen · 2 months
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✧HER NEW CUT || luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: luke as always admired y/n…from afar, but when she comes to camp one morning he can’t help but talk to her about her very bold hair cut
word count: 3174 (cray cray)
warnings: slight obsession from a far (not joe goldberg type), horrid flirting, y/n had a long to short haircut like taylor russell’s hair type short, slight jealousy, happy and soft ending<3
a/n: for more dramatic feels listen to japanese denim specifically? 3:09 so hope u read fast when it comes to the end bc JAH!
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at the camp, luke and his group of friends walked amongst themselves as they laughed at the endless and kind of weird jokes one another was telling.
luke was always lucky with making friends but his friends were kind of—not to be rude—on the weird spectrum. he himself couldn’t say he wasn’t weird either.
‘dude, then the next thing—oh shoot, look who’s gotten out of her cabin this morning’ his friend jake, who pointed over to persephone’s cabin.
as luke looked over he saw none other than y/n l/n. daughter of persephone, goddess of spring and nature. persephone was known for her beauty, and her love, her kind mind towards all even when they’ve done bad.
all of persephone’s children seem to have these traits, but y/n? no. she had them more, she had them down to the freckles on her face that seemed to align like the stars of sirius. the most beautiful, brightest star in the sky.
y/n had been at the camp for only a few months, not as long as luke, but the second she stepped foot into that camp was when luke gave himself over to her willingly. but to her, unknowingly.
as crazy as it sounds, luke has never said a word to y/n. the only thing he did do however? was embarrassingly trip over his own foot, slamming down into the earth below her feet as she stopped her movements, he could remember it alarmist like it was ten minutes ago.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
as luke walked out of his cabin he saw y/n walking with her sisters as they laughed and talked together, their laughs seemed to drown out and the only noticeable one being y/n’s.
at the moment, luke had the duty of taking his wooden swords to the swordsman practice field.
as the girl—mainly y/n walked their way across from herme’s cabin, luke tried to make himself look more attractive? cool? so he straightened his back, the wooden swords being in one arm as he confidently walked down the steps—just as the girl passed, he tipped over a tree stump that had grew out of the ground.
when he did, was well hades himself rose from the ground and put hell on earth—the swords went flying into the air, one hitting y/n’s sister in her head.
‘oh my!—‘ as luke fell stomach first into the ground he grunted.
‘oh my gosh! are you okay!?’ a soft and worried voice spoke above him. as he looked up he saw a worried face of y/n…the girl he was so desperately trying to impress.
‘i—im fine! i’m okay, sorry! i’m so sorry emma!’ he yelled to the girl as he scurried up to grab the wooden swords. y/n turned to see one laying lot to far behind her so she went to reach, but at the same time like some two-thousands movie cliché, he went to reach for the same one.
his larger hand being on top of y/n’s who looked him into the eyes she smiled warmly while he smiled back, cleaning his throat.
‘again i'm so sorry’ he nervously smiled at y/n who kept her eyes trained on his own. she smiled warmly and shook her head.
‘don’t, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault’ she calmly told him while placing her hand on his chest. he took a deep breath while they looked each other in their eyes.
‘y/n? come on we need to get emma to the clinic’ her sister called out to y/n who turned around. luke kept his eyes trained on y/n who called out—‘o—okay! i’m coming right now!’ as she turned back around she was quick to luke in his eyes.
‘well…i guess ill see you around prince charming’ she smiled with a hint of playfulness in her tone. he nervously laughed while holding onto the wooden swords as she walked away.
not without turning back to look at luke how never stopped looking at her.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
snapping out of his memory, luke looked over to jack to smirked at him.
‘dude, whatever—‘
‘i mean come on luke! you’ve been obsessing over her for how long? like how many years?’
‘about two i think?’ one of this friends said. jake pointed at them to prove his point.
‘see! two! and not to ruffle your edges but she’s a very pretty girl…she’s not going to wait for you forever luke’ he stressed. luke and jake have been friends for some time now and he was tired of watching luke get jealous every time y/n talked to some other guy at the camp.
and eveytime he let it happen, luke would go into his quiet, mystery guy mode and not talk to anyone for thirty minutes or an hour just falling over the fact the guy y/n was talking to and laughing with wasn’t him.
luke rolled his eyes a bit and shook his head.
‘nah it’s okay…besides maybe he deserves someone else, i don’t think i’m first and only in line anyway’ luke watched y/n sadly as she talked to some camper from zeus's cabin.
he was basically torturing himself as he watched the two laugh, her hand falling along the guy's shoulder.
turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.
turning around once he saw that, he sucked in a breath and tried his best to brush that off. the overbearing jealousy putting him through a spiral. a way in his mind.
‘okay—guys let’s just go have dinner, have fun, y’know?’
jake looked over to the rest of the group who sadly shook their head at the effort of getting luke to talk to y/n. sighing he followed luke over to the small outdoor cafeteria.
there were all of the kids who laughed and ate.
‘you guys can sit over there and I'll go and get dinner’ luke told them. some of the group didn’t really eat often, they more often ate their snacks they had saved up in their cabins.
‘i’ll go with you!’ jake called out.
as the two of them made their way to were the food was being handed out, luke failed to notice y/n who smiled up at him and called his name softly.
‘luke is that you?’ she smiled. turning around immediately to see y/n smiling up at him he stumbled to turn around to her completely.
‘y/n! hey! how are you? how’ve you been?’
luke was trying his best to make it seem like he didn’t know she been rather okay.
‘i’m good! i’m good, and you?’ she walked him him down the like of food.
‘i’m good as well! uhm…how’s camp going for you?’
‘good, uhh—me and my sisters have small sleepovers almost every night, we’re also doing some get-togethers for the other demigods to join, you can come whenever you like? i already asked mr. dionysus and chiron’s permission. they said it would be a rather good thing for the demi-gods to put their differences aside and get along as a full community’
y/n was always one for having a soft spot for people. even for her own good. but, that’s what luke loved about her. she was always so caring and supportive of everyone aside from the fact they’re all from different gods. that didn’t matter to her.
nodding his head and smiling he agreed to showing up to one of them—‘yeah, yeah i’ll try and make it if i’m not taking care of other things or sleep’ he chuckled a bit at his own joke while y/n did the same.
‘good good, i hope you can. it was really good to talk to you luke, i mean it. i always saw you a couple of times but you were with other people and i didn’t want to interrupt—‘
‘no! no—you could never interrupt, you can always talk to me, i mean it’ he was quick to shut down her worry in trying to intrude her way through conversation he wasn’t even paying attention in.
she smiled and nodded her head while holding a plate of food.
‘well, i’ll see you tonight?’ she tilted her head to him with a smile on her face full of hope. he mindlessly nodded with a glaze in his expression that didn’t go unnoticed by jake but blinded it her.
as she walked away with her plate in hand and her long flowing hair behind her, jake was quick to hit luke with his shoulder.
one thing that was very different from all of her sisters was that her hair seemed to grow ten times the return speed hair takes to grow. she had the length of hair that almost reached her calves. she always liked it long, and luke didn’t want to lie to himself he loved the way it looked on her.
‘ouu! look at you man! get your game on!’ jake make a corny comment making luke look back at him with a shake of his head but a grin on his face.
‘dude she only invited me to some function everyone is going to be at…’
‘yeah, but she smiled and talked to you? what definitely soldier boy points’ jake nudged luke once more before leaving to the table. when luke was down with his own plate and made his way over to the table, he was bombarded by cheers for him getting somewhere with y/n. finally.
luke only grinned and smiled while he turned around to see y/n eating a bit of her strawberry while looking at him with a small smile.
luke felt his chest tighten and his face grow red and warm. smiling back at her before she turned and he did as well—not before letting his eyes linger on her for a bit longer of course.
‘dude! this is definitely going to be your night!’
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
later that night, all of the campers made their ways back to their own cabins. luke with his friends and his own sibling in his own cabin.
like had found himself in a predicament. he was trying to decide if the white shirt or the black one would go well with his gray sweats. he wasn’t one for fashion since at the camp everyone wore one thing. but they got lucky and got to pick out some casual clothing away from the orange shirt and regular pants.
‘look at lukey-pookie trying to find a cute date outfit to see his girlfriend!’ one of his siblings called out with a teasing smile on their face. turning to see them he rolled his eyes.
‘no she’s not my girlfriend and i could care less what i wear…’ luke turned back around still trying to decide what shirt.
‘dude wear the black one, chicks did the whole tight back shirt and sweats thing, trust me��� one of his other siblings told him as they sat their doing their hair.
‘really?’
some of the other unclaimed kids nodded in agreement super fast as he hummed to himself and slipped on the black shirt.
‘make sure you flex your jaw and muscles every now and again as well—‘
‘yeah, you have a very defined jaw and your like jacked’ another spoke while they put on their shoes.
luke nervously turned around—does y/n think he was jacked? or does she think he has a very defined jaw? finding himself thinking of y/n and her smile he grew red and cleared his throat.
‘okay whatever, are you guys ready to go?’ luke fixed his shirt and soothed it down while he pulled out his shoes to throw on.
‘yeah we're ready…we’ve been waiting on you for like ten minutes to decide on what shirt to wear…’
‘yeah you literally stood there looking at the wall for a bit. we thought you left us’ they all laughed as luke rolled his eyes.
‘go! get out’ he yelled with a small smile as they did what he said.
while him and his group of siblings and some other that he still referred to as siblings, began to walk their way to where the small get-together was being held, they were imminently introduced with a lot of flowers.
more than usual. there was a trail of them leading down some part of the forest along with some small fires that were stuck on torches like the ones back at camp.
‘they persephone kids do know how to set a mood huh?’ one of the siblings spoke as he looked at the different versions of flowers that slowly grew in their wake.
luke couldn’t help but take notice of some of the flowers that he immediately knew were y/n’s. not to be a weirdo or anything but he saw her growing some flowers every now and again and sometimes wore them in her hair or as a flower crown.
smiling slightly as he heard small sounds of laughter and a bit of music he looked up to see the crowd of campers laughing with and down at each other.
as they walked deeper into the green patch of grass that seemed to form a perfect circle that was surrounded by trees with the light of the moon above to shine down on all the people below.
‘whoa…’
‘this is actually pretty neat’ some people spoke behind him as they departed from luke.
jake and luke’s other friends however stayed together.
‘this place actually kind of looks entertaining’ jake mumbled to like who had his focus setting for the only person he came for. jake took notice of this and cleared his throat.
‘she’ll be here, why would she invite you then not show up,’ luke looked at jake and nodded his head, trying to calm himself down and focus on the small gathering around him.
‘yeah…yeah no your right—i’m just going to get some juice, i’ll see you in a sec?’ luke departed from jake who let him go with a nod.
as luke made his way through everyone. some of them gave luke a smile and some gave him hugs, he smiled and hugged his way through and to the small table full of snacks and drinks.
as luke reached the pitcher of juice he poured himself some in his cup and drank it a bit. his eyes still searching for her.
while he did he noticed a small group of what looked like persephone daughters. squinting his eyes as he looked to the very distinctive long hair that belonged to y/n he couldn’t help but take a notice to the very short hair girl that stood next to the daughters.
there was something about her? was it her outfit? no…maybe—once he heard her laugh however? was when his thoughts could come to rest.
it was y/n.
as she slowly turned to her friend who walked up to her from behind her, was when he saw her new haircut.
and boy…did his mind go in a ruckus.
he felt as if his once tight enough grip on his cup faltered as he watched her laugh and move some of her hair out of her eye. their hair was extremely short, more short than he’d ever saw. did she ever cut her hair? he can’t recall. but that didn’t matter, not a bit, not at all.
feeling his mind become blank and his eyes go in a daze, the only thing he could every really focus on was her. she smiled and nodded. talked and laughed with her friends and sisters.
she wore this cute flowing dress that reached her thighs and had skinny straps.
it wa plain (f/c) which he took a note looked amazing on her. he never really saw her in anything other than shorts and the orange camp shirt. so he took his time to absorb her new look.
as y/n moved her hair out of her face once more she looked up and it seemed the stars aligned. her eyes met his and he hurried to turn around .
tightly closing his eyes as he cursed myself for doing so, he took a shaky break and sip of his drink. unbeknownst to him, y/n walked her way slowly up to luke who’s back was turned to her.
‘luke?’ she spoke. he hurried to turn around and let out a nervous laugh.
‘y/n? oh my—what? that’s crazy, i didn’t expect you to be here at all! that’s insane…’ he closed his eyes once more to collect and mentally punch himself repeatedly in the stomach for what he just said.
‘uhm…yeah of course i’m here! i invited you silly’ she smiled at him while he smile back. hit face growing insanely warm along with the tips of his ears.
‘yeah—yeah i just noticed that…sorry, i’m so sorry i just—‘
‘you wanna go somewhere more quiet?’ she suggested. luke looked into her eyes immediately to see her signature soft look focusing on him.
god, could she be anymore beautiful than this? he thought.
only nodding in response, he let her take the cup from his hand and place it on the table.
‘come on’ she smiled at him once more while slipping her smaller hang into his large warm one.
he took another note at how her hand seemed to fit perfectly into his. his mind going insane as if he were some teenage girl with her first celebrity crush.
ㆍ୨୧ㆍ
as the two of them walked hand in hand deeper into the forest and near a more quiet place. luke couldn’t help but let his focus wander onto her and her hair.
while they found a spot near the lake surrounded by some sand and rocks, y/n looked over at him. he gazed down to her and saw how the moonlight traced her face perfectly.
‘i come here to think sometimes. or just talk to my mom…hope i didn't creep you out on how far we are’ she nervously laughed while letting her hand slip from luke’s.
he quickly let his heavy hand chase after hers as she turned to him with her hand holding his again, her grip soft and his worried that some monster would come and snatch her away from him.
‘no! no, no not at all! not at all i like it out here, i like how quiet and calm it is. very calm and quiet…very’ he mumbled and stumbled over his words.
he only found himself like this when it comes to y/n and he was okay with that. she laughed softly as this and shook her head while looking at him over his face and chest.
breathing and and taking a small doing to what his sibling said he clutched his jaw a bit while mindlessly looking away to make his jaw more prominent.
unbeknownst y/n took a notice and noted this for herself.
‘so uhm…your hair!’ he called out, looking back at her immediately while her eyes snapped back at his own.
‘what about it’ she reached up and turned a bit of the hair pieces over me another. it looked so smooth and healthy he shook his head in a hurry.
‘nothing! it looks good on you, really good…not! in a creepy way! i didn’t mean to say that in a creepy way! y’know im just saying, you look good, very pretty—pretty beautiful—very…beautiful…’ he was almost disgusted at himself for saying such things in such a rushed manner.
what was actually going on? y/n couldn’t have liked something like that. she’s too special for that—she can’t like or even go for a guy like him. why did he even think—
‘i cut it for you…’ she quietly admitted.
looking over at her immediately once more he saw her gaze and her hand slightly gripping his own a bit tighter as she refused to look up at him.
‘you what?’ he breathed out. waiting for her to continue he didn’t fail to notice how her arm seemed to pull him a bit closer so he mindlessly let her tug him closer.
‘i cut it for your attention…i thought if i changed something out myself…you’d notice me. it’s stupid but ever since i saw you fall in front of me with your wooden swords i couldn’t get you out of my head. and for almost two years straight i did things like…talking to other guys or laughing at jokes i didn’t really think were funny so you could hopefully look at me? i don’t it’s stupid i—‘
before she could say anything else luke bent his body and face down to press his lips fully onto hers. as the two of them shared a single kiss. he pulled away to look her in the eyes for her to only look at his pink pull lips. placing her hand onto his face and pulling him closer, she smashed her lips onto his once more.
this time, the kiss wasn’t like the last. it was more desperate, full of energy, and all the times he’s thought about her non stop, over and over and over.
her hands found their way to the back of his neck and through his hair while he grunted a bit and placed his hands on her waist.
the two of them sharing what seemed like a never ending kiss. their were fireworks, bombs, sparklers, a full zoo and war going on all throughout luke’s body and mind right now.
he’s never experienced anything like this before and he was so sure he never wanted to experience anything like it except if it was with her and only her.
y/n smiled into their kiss as luke pulled away and gave her one last kiss.
‘i don’t know, what you were denying about what i feel. i have never stopped thinking about you, ever. it’s impossible to forget you and to stop thinking about you, every morning, evening and night even in between, when i wake up for water, i think about you. y/n…’ placing his hand on her cheek as she smiled dazingly into his eyes he let his nose hover and almost touch her own.
‘…your all i ever see.’ he finished as she gave a small smile and laugh. her hand made its way up to his face and her thumb traced over his scar which he closed his eyes on. their foreheads resting on one another.
‘awh luke…’ was all he could say before placing he slips onto his once more.
as he mindlessly and desperately kissed her back she made sure their bodies were close.
the moon seemed to shine over the two as they shared their moment of glory together.
after a bit more of kisses, luke and y/n pulled away from one another as they held their closeness. y/n found herself wrapping her arms around luke’s body as he held her against him.
after a moment of silence luke spoke—‘i really like your hair by the way’ he told while y/n laughed a bit.
‘and i like your shirt, it's very tight. my sisters kept gawking over it. not going to lie that what noises my confidence to walk over to you a bit more’ she revealed making luke feel a whole lot better at how he always got jealous.
needing to know more he pulled apart and packed his hands along her waist—‘wait! so…were there other moments where you got jealous?’ he needed to know, bad.
while desperately looking at y/n for an answer she shyly looked down at the ground and back into his eyes before placing her finger over her lips as to show she couldn’t tell.
just before he could say anymore, she pulled apart slowly from him and made her way through the forest .
‘wait! y/n, baby— please? tell me i need to know!’ he desperately tried to get her to speak.
‘maybe!’ she yelled back with a smile. as luke followed her he smiled to himself and felt a bit giddy.
she actually got jealous over him? possibly even protective? this was too adorable to him.
running up and behind her grabbed her from hind and spinned her around in circles while she laughed. his kisses spread from her face to her neck.
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pervertedreams · 1 year
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thinking abt getting high w flirty eddie, he’s naturally very flirtatious which can be very confusing for many but when he’s high around a pretty girl like you, of course his flirt meter is going up 100. i don’t see eddie as the type to enjoy smoking with a whole group of people, or anyone at all really. if he does smoke with multiple ppl more than two is too many, regardless he typically smokes alone so the fact that he’s comfortable enough to smoke with you says a lot.
of course the spot is being held at his trailer, in his stuffy little room. he’s watching you push the window open, your clothes already feeling like they’re choking you to death in this humid air. he can’t help but stare at the way your thighs smush and move together, he overheard you and nancy on the phone, heard you complain about the weight you put on but he thinks it’s sexy. you look good either way, he already doesn’t have a filter. imagine how he is high. he’s leaned back on his forearms, long legs dangling off the bed a bit. “forgive me if i’m being too forward, but you look-“ he pauses with a slow nod, the grin on his face lopsided, “good— you look good. sexy.”
you spin around on the balls of your feet dramatically kicking out a leg when you back towards eddie on his bed, you roll your eyes with a sigh. “i don’t really feel like it. i’ve gained a little in the last few months.” the bed deepens as you make yourself comfortable across from him, back pressed against his poster infested wall. he shrugs, a face of annoyance plays on his features. “so what, you still look hot. more to grab on too, nothin’ wrong with that.” he reaches over to give your outer thigh a firm grab, and what a surprise the leftover feeling of his hands on you travel right to the tingling sensation between your thighs, you try not to react just giving him a small smile and changing the subject, “hey, you’re hogging!” you whine hand out for eddie to pass the blunt back over.
you’d be lying if you said he didn’t look good, he always does but right now specifically. it’s got you buzzing. his hair is placed in a low bun, but most of the hair has fallen out the scrunchie so large chunks of hair fall by his neck, framing his face perfectly. the lighting in his room is definitely working overtime with the way it’s reflecting against his skin making him look even hotter, he’s more relaxed than usual not hyped up or on edge, his movements are slow and lazy, eyes low and lips pinker than usual. he’s been licking his lips so they’re gleaming, and his brown eyes are more noticeable now that his eyes are red. he’s only on a wifebeater since it’s gotten a little warm, and his legs are spread. you swallow down you want and desire for him, passing the blunt back for the 3rd or 4th time since you zoned out on him.
“you not freaking out are you? got all quiet on me.” he’s half joking, but you can’t help but giggle when you shake your head. “i’m fine baby.” your eyes widen, exposing your high state even more with how red they are, hands clasping over your mouth. you feel a lump in your throat, it just came out so naturally, what if he hated it. but by the looks on his face, he looked pretty amused. “don’t freak, i liked it. has a nice ring too it.” he’s repositioning himself, laying on his side now, face much closer than before.
at this point you’re just staring at each other, and you can’t help it. he looks so good, and with his heavy lidded eyes, and this sleazy look he’s got on his face, you blurt out “your lips look so pretty.” and he can’t help but slash a toothy grin, “yeah? then kiss them.”
you pause at first before swatting him on his arm, “shut up.” and when you realize he isn’t laughing along, you see he’s dead serious. he’s fully sitting up now, eye level with you. he’s scooting himself closer, hands resting at your waist to pull you in, and like on que you’re lips are melting against his. head slightly moving together the more into it you get, the sound of lips smacking and your small moans are the only thing filling the air blah blah idk i had to get this off my chest the ending sucks i just wanted to write sumn lol
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henrioo · 4 months
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Hi, I hope you’re having a nice day! Can I please ask a scenario for Somker? Basically he’s in love with the rear admiral reader; at the end of a fight against pirates the reader is scared because he can’t find Smoker and when he finally found him the reader confess his love involuntary.
Have a good day/night and take all the time you need!
°•*⁀➷ POST BATTLE CONFESSIONS: SMOKER
꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "You and Smoker are completely in love with each other, the problem is that neither of you can confess it. It took some heartbreak, stupid pirates, ridiculous powers, and a lot of drama to make you two open your eyes to love. But hey, what matters is that it worked!”
꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : GENDER NEUTRAL READER, GENDER PRONOUNS, NO GENDER SPECIFIED, Smoker is a bit toxic and childish but he apologizes, extremely dramatic, poorly written fights because I'm bad at it, weak ending because my brain was already melted, reader conquered the entire naval base, no specific time, it could be before or after the time skip. Too much drama and not enough fluff.
꒰ WC ꒱ : 7k
꒰ NOTES ꒱ : So I should have turned this in literally months ago, but my ass couldn't do it. So as an apology I made a huge story, I really took my time on it because it was crazy to correct and translate such a big story. It wasn't very good and I apologize for that, sorry for taking so long and enjoy!
﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋
Smoker was an extremely professional Marine. He woke up at the same time every day, went to work on time, did all his daily chores and paperwork, remembered to check in on all his subordinates, and meticulously reviewed all of his upcoming missions on the high seas. Of course, sometimes he was also not extremely professional... when he told his superiors to go fuck themselves and did exactly everything contrary to the orders he received, but well, he can say he was extremely professional in 90% of his time working.
That is, until you were placed under his supervision and order, oh yes... that made Smoker look in the mirror and question everything about his professionalism that he loved to be proud of. You... wow, how could he even begin to describe you without sounding like a man completely in love? Something he was definitely not...
You were determined, that justified you rising through the ranks so quickly, you were also very confident of your skill and capabilities. You never took shit from anyone, it could be the fleet admiral himself, if you thought he was wrong you would raise your voice and defend your point. You were also very kind to your subordinates and marines in general, which was surprising since you managed to be extremely serious and authoritarian, as well as very demanding when carrying out your missions.
You also knew the right time for everything, the time to be professional, the time to be a relaxed boss and even the time to be a shoulder to lean on if someone needed it. You put a lot of effort into your work and that's why many Marines were excited to work with you, knowing your incredible ability and determination to always complete missions in the best way possible.
This is just about your personality... if he were to talk about your appearance? Ah... where would he start? Every time your hair shone in the sun he thought it was unfair for someone to be so adored by the gods to be born so beautiful, every time your eyes shone with excitement at a new mission or at the end of a successful one he knew that his heart hit harder. Every time he saw your bright smile and heard your warm and genuine laugh, it made his legs go weak and he was forced to take a deep breath to concentrate. Every time he saw a bit of your skin outside your uniform, marked by the scars from your journey that you displayed with pride when necessary, he wanted to touch you and know if his skin was as soft as it looked.
You were something that made Smoker feel things he never felt before. At first he was reluctant to have a subordinate with a high position, usually newbies who rose so high were petty about their position and thought they would surpass their superiors easily, which was basically dealing with a child. But you were different, you were obedient and professional, you were mainly determined to learn everything you could from Smoker, always making it clear that you admired his reputation and experience as a Marine and Vice Admiral.
It didn't take long for you to win over Smoker, whether it was just when you listened to him carefully when planning the missions and always had something important and valuable to add, or it was just when you organized the paperwork when it was time to hand it over to him, making his job easier... or maybe whether it was when you showed a little more special interest in him, bringing him coffee in the morning or even at night when you knew he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. It could also be the times you invited him to lunch, even when at first he politely declined you never lost your smile and always said "next time then!".
Unfortunately for the vice admiral, he wasn't the only one won over by his charm. All the Marines working under Smoker were more than in love and determined to show it in some way, he had already lost count of how many bouquets, letters and chocolates he had confiscated from his subordinates that were all addressed to you. Just maintaining professionalism was his excuse, what a shame it would be for a Marine to date his boss, it was Smoker's duty to make sure no harmful rules or situations were created. Of course he wasn't stopping the gifts from reaching you out of pure jealousy and fear that you would fall in love with a man other than him.
Every day he repeated that he was going to make a move on you, breaking his own morals about dating some subordinate, but every day when you greeted him smiling and made his stomach turn, he immediately changed his mind, filling himself with shyness and fear of rejection, so he would treat you with some harshness and pretend that he didn't feel anything too much for you. Maybe he wasn't doing such a good job since Tashigi had noticed his passion... and well, if Tashigi's slowness hadn't prevented her from noticing Smoker's fall, it meant that he wasn't hiding it as well as he thought.
The truth was Smoker didn't feel confident with you, you were so... amazing. He was very... rude, often called scary by his subordinates because of his extremely demanding work, it was impossible for you to accept a relationship with him. Besides, he didn't even know how to do boyfriend things! He had gone on a few casual dates but a long term relationship was different... What if he wasn't a good boyfriend and you left?! It was one thing to have his rejection but still be able to have his presence or friendship, it was another thing to break your heart and make you so angry with him that you never looked him in the face again.
That's why he let his insecurities win and stop him from making a move on you. He tried to convince himself that maintaining a professional relationship would be the best choice for both of them... but he wasn't sure how long he could put up with this lame excuse. This of course didn't stop him from changing little by little with you, this was something that everyone noticed and even Smoker didn't escape hearing some rumors from his subordinates about how he was kinder to the Rear Admiral (Y/N).
Gradually his responses were less rude, he also began to seek out your opinions more during missions, showing how much he trusted your abilities. He gradually accepted having lunch with you or even patrolling together when you were in a city. He also relaxed a lot more in your presence and didn't mind when you invaded his office, even if you just wanted to check on him and talk a little instead must have a professional reason for the visit.
And this ended up making Smoker develop an addiction, if he spent more than two hours without knowing anything about you he would instinctively look for news. He would casually ask others about you, he would also look for you on the ship or base they were at, pretending he was just going on patrol to make sure everything was okay and not that he was eager to hear your beautiful voice and feel a little of your heat. He didn't even realize that little by little he couldn't stay away from you for long...
On one of those days where he was looking for you, he found a scene that made his heart stop for a few seconds. There you were in all your glory, your uniform always clean and organized, some papers in your hand and accompanied by a low-ranking Marine. The problem in the scene was the huge bouquet of roses in the marine's hand and a red box of sweets with a huge red bow. Smoker quickly hid with his powers and listened carefully to the conversation, would now be the time he would be sure he would never have a chance with you?
"I'm sorry, I can't accept your confession... much less reciprocate your feelings" You said in a gentle way, even in a situation that could be uncomfortable you were always worried about not hurting other people unnecessarily.
"But why not?!" The Marine didn't seem willing to give up and Smoker wondered if he should intervene just in case the situation became even more uncomfortable for you.
"I'm sorry, I'm already in love with someone else" That was enough to make the marine step back and apologize for the inconvenience... but it also made Smoker retreat from his mission to look for you and return to his office, he had a bitter taste in your mouth and your stomach felt sick.
Smoker changed after that. You didn't need to be very smart to notice this, Tashigi was worried by the way he was acting, working late at night and staying more and more in his office instead of checking if everything was going well. His own subordinates noticed, they tried hard to do everything perfectly trying to somehow improve their commander's mood... hell even Hina noticed it during a call! She had even provoked him by asking if he had been dumped and that was why he was in a bad mood.
But out of all the people who worked with Smoker, you were the one who was most affected by the change. You continued to act normally with him, inviting him to lunch, bringing him coffee, trying to have some conversations during the day... but different from the shy and slightly nervous reception he used to give you because he wasn't sure how to react to your warm and friendly way, all you got was a cold shoulder and ruder responses than when you arrived to work with him. It was almost as if he was angry or simply hated you, he simply treated you as if you couldn't stand his presence. Little by little you started having a sad look every time he appeared, you became nervous and silent as if you were afraid to speak around him, it didn't take long for you to slowly move away, confused and hurt by his recent actions.
Of course, he only found out about this again when he secretly overheard another conversation of yours. You and Tashigi weren't supposed to be in the cafeteria so late at night, but there you were, talking and drinking some hot drinks to combat the cold of the night.
"I just... don't understand him" You sighed tiredly, your shoulders were slumped and you had a sad tone, very different from your excited and happy tone that you loved to use with everyone.
"Captain Smoker can be quite... huh... distant" Tashigi sighed too, she didn't know exactly how to comfort you... it didn't even make sense to her! Smoker had softened considerably since your arrival, everyone had noticed that he was starting to like you more than he should, so why was he suddenly acting like he despised you?
"Maybe I did something wrong..." You said again, demonstrating your fragility much more now, Smoker had never thought that you cared so much about his approval. You were so sure of yourself and didn't even mind getting into trouble with your superiors just to stand up for what you believed in, so why did his opinion and approval matter so much?
He didn't want to stay to hear the rest of the conversation, he already felt terrible enough and he wasn't sure if he could control himself if he heard you talking again about how he had hurt you. Stupid, stupid, stupid! It was all his head could say, you had treated him with so much kindness and because of jealousy and envy that he didn't even have the right to feel, he made you feel inferior and even hurt by his treatment. What was he thinking?!
It wasn't like he could force you to fall in love with him too, you deserve to be happy regardless of who you like, so why did he act like he owned you?! Being hurt and jealous was acceptable, after all, a romantic rejection can be difficult, but taking out his frustration and feelings on you as if it were your fault was unforgivable! For one thing it was extremely unprofessional and secondly it was being so immature and petty that he felt ashamed of himself when he finally realized his actions!
Of course he would apologize to you, he barely slept thinking about how he would show that he was truly sorry for having treated you so unfairly. The next morning as he walked to the base all he could think of was the best way to make it up to you, maybe flowers? Maybe some gifts? A date? Shouldn't it be something more sincere... a letter?! His head was full and he already felt a headache from thinking so much.
That's when he heard a scream, it didn't take him long to find the source, a civilian was running limping away from something in a hurry. He was quick to help him stabilize trying to figure out what was going on.
"What happened?! Are you okay?" He asked as calmly as he could muster, which wasn't much, it was too early for an attack but criminals didn't have that kind of basic sense.
"Pirates... they... stealing..." The way he spoke was slurred and a little nonsensical, it was as if he was tired or out of breath, before Smoker could question any further the civilian blacked out. His first reaction was to check his pulse, it was beating and he thought the guy had fainted from fear or shock, until the civilian in his arms started... snoring?
It took him a few seconds but he soon noticed something strange: the civilian was sleeping?! Who could sleep right after being attacked by pirates?! No... this didn't seem normal, there was something strange about it and it seemed more dangerous than normal. He quickly grabbed his den den mushi and called for reinforcements, warning his subordinates to take extra care as they could be dealing with some type of poison or anesthetic, but he also made clear the possibility of a Devil Fruit user and asked everyone to stay safe and pay double attention when checking the perimeter.
Following the next scenes with caution left Smoker confused and with his guard up as he realized that what he was going to face was something… strange. There was a trail that led through the city full of sleeping civilians, some civilians tried to wake up their friends and family without success, it was as if everyone was in a deep trance unable to come out of dreamland. Luckily that was all that seemed to have happened to them, besides of course the open bags and lack of accessories such as jewelry — which only proved that all the sleeping people had been robbed — all the civilians were uninjured and even had happy faces as if that was the best sleep of their entire lives... which seems very likely to be true.
Smoker continued walking until he reached an emptier area of the city, it was where most of the buildings were still under construction, which meant that there weren't many people walking around outside of construction work hours. There was a small group of pirates rummaging through bags and evaluating belongings, none of them really seemed like a threat but what worried the Vice Admiral was how they had made so many people fall asleep when they seemed to be so…stupid.
There was no need to get too close for his presence to be known, he quickly prepared his jitte ready to quickly arrest all these criminals and figure out a way to wake up the civilians and then return to his ordinary work day. The weaker pirates quickly trembled in fear as they fought among themselves whether to flee or try to fight knowing well the vice admiral's fame and power. Until one of them, who could have been the first mate, took the lead with a confident smile while speaking loudly to motivate all his companions and subordinates.
“Don’t be scared, you cowards! Have you forgotten who we have here? Who is our captain? As long as we have Captain Sleepyhead no one will be able to defeat us!” Upon finishing his short speech, all the other pirates quickly cheered loudly as their fear was replaced by newfound confidence and clear false faith.
“Sleepyhead? So this is the jerk who made those civilians fall asleep? I can't say I'm disappointed since I really didn't expect much…” he said with an irritated huff, pirates always think they are great until they are defeated and realize that they still have a lot to learn.
“Hah… we’re pretty confident, aren’t we, Vice Admiral Smoker?” A man with a long purple coat came out from among the other pirates, he wore a hat full of feathers, brown gloves, pants with a questionable pattern and had so much jewelry that he looked like a child wearing all of his mother's accessories at the same time.
"Considering that you know me and have this ridiculous outfit you must be that Captain Sleepyhead..." Smoker mentally searched about this pirate but couldn't really remember, which could mean he didn't have many accomplishments or had just started this life criminal, but it was still not enough reason to let down our guard and underestimate him, after all there was still a secret ability in this pirate that could give him a great advantage in the fight.
“It offends me a little that you don't know me... but when the newspapers announce that I defeated the famous Vice Admiral Smoker I'm sure the entire Grand Line will recognize me!” He said self-centeredly as he laughed, being cheered by all the idiotic pirates following him.
“In your dreams... the most you'll get today is a beating and a one-way ticket to prison” Smoker never stopped being irritated by this blind confidence of the pirates, especially when they didn't know exactly how strong they were. Boasting about being able to defeat an enemy without really being sure that your strength is capable of defeating him is purely stupid... luckily it was this stupidity that made it easier for Smoker to find an opening and defeat them without too many problems.
This seemed to be enough to anger or embarrass the said captain, as his face contorted in anger as he quickly got into an attack position, the other pirates were armed and prepared but did not seem to have any intention of interfering in their captain's fight. Partly it was an advantage not having to deal with so many at once, but it didn't mean Smoker could take his eyes off them, as it wouldn't be the first time he was attacked by a pirate who pretended not to invade the fight just to give a sneak attack trying to get an advantage, so all attention at that moment would be essential.
The captain wasn't that fast, so Smoker had enough time to grab his weapon and block the first attack, the man was using a dagger that was probably hidden in his coat considering how quickly he was able to draw it. As it was not a long-range weapon and was also very accurate, he seemed to be looking for some unprotected opening or vital point to be able to injure the vice admiral, but unfortunately, thanks to Smoker's devil fruit, he was not able to even scratch his marine outfit. Of course, this fact only seemed to irritate the captain more and more.
“Hah… a Logia isn’t it? I'm not very good at memorizing facts about my enemies, I guess it was my fault for trying to attack you without knowing that beforehand…” the captain said laughing and shrugging his shoulders as he took a considerable distance from Smoker.
“Admitting that you’re stupid in the middle of a fight isn’t exactly a pretty move…” the vice admiral wasn’t exactly the type to provoke pirates… but his mood wasn’t the best because of the mess he made with (y/n), so he urgently needed someone to take out all his frustration on. Who better than a stupid pirate who he would throw in jail and forget existed a few weeks later?
“You always think too much of yourself, don’t you?” The pirate now had a look of pure anger, it seemed he was a man who was easily provoked, considering that just a few acidic comments from Smoker were enough to make him like that. “Unfortunately for you, you're not the only one with cool tricks, you asked me how I managed to knock out all those civilians, right? Maybe I should show you then!”
The captain removed his two brown gloves and his coat, Smoker would have paid a little more attention to the man's appearance if he hadn't come running towards him again. He seemed a little faster than the first time, which made the marine aware that he might not be using all his strength in the first attack, but this time the fight was much stranger than he could have expected.
Of course, Smoker has fought against pirates who used swords, daggers, arrows, guns or even just punches... But none of them had attacked him as if they were playing tag and the pirate was the tagger. It was a little bizarre and the Marine wasn't sure how he was going to write the scene he was experiencing, but he knew he wouldn't forget it so easily.
The captain had both palms open and was trying to touch Smoker, he didn't punch or try to scratch, he just tried to touch him exactly like a childish game. At first he thought it might be some trick, but now it was just getting embarrassing, the pirate said he had a devil fruit, so shouldn't he be doing something a little more incredible and unrealistic like… well, Smoker didn't know, but something bizarre like shooting bullets through the palm of your hand, anything that seemed like a real threat.
“I think I'm tired of playing with you” the marine said after a few minutes of this game where he just blocked and attacked a few times, being met by the man's attempts to touch him and his dodging of all the blows. With enviable strength and precision, Smoker quickly used his weapon to hit the side of the man's stomach, planning to stun him and throw him to the ground to facilitate his immobilization. The blow landed accurately, but something that the marine ended up overlooking because he thought the pirate posed no immediate danger was that he let the man touch him, which seemed exactly what he wanted.
The pirate captain was forcefully thrown aside as he fell to the ground and was dragged through the stone streets, his crew shouted worriedly for him and some men went to check on him while the others continued shouting insults at Smoker. Although he had received a very strong and well-aimed blow, all the pirate did was sit down wiping his face clean of the dirt while having an evil and smug smile on his face, his face said something like “I got you”.
“Hah… for a vice admiral you managed to leave a good opening for me… enough of an opening to put you exactly where I needed you! Feel my attack now and succumb to my power!” He said laughing as his men helped him to his feet.
Smoker was about to question what the man was suggesting, which in the Marine's head seemed like more talk from a drunk or even a drug user, but before he could open his mouth he felt it. First it was a stitch in her chest that took her breath away, then a pain in her head that quickly made her feel heavy, her limbs trembled and became heavy... tired. Smoker's entire body was extremely tired, it was as if he had been awake for days without a break, his eyes burned and it hurt to stay open, he had to lean on his weapon so he wouldn't fall to the ground due to sudden weakness.
“Huh, what does it look like now? It seems that now you will finally be able to understand the awesomeness of my power! Succumb to the power of my powerful sleep-sleep no mi! The sleep fruit that allows me to be able to put anyone I touch to sleep!” The captain delivered his entire speech extravagantly and confidently while his crew applauded and cheered for him. All Smoker could focus on at that moment besides the enormous drowsiness was how stupidly annoying that pirate's voice was.
“Wow, if you hadn't explained it detail by detail I would never have discovered…” Smoker closed his eyes tightly and forced them open immediately, he swallowed a yawn and used the support of his weapon so he could stand up again. He was still extremely drowsy but he couldn't afford to let this pirate escape without being sure that his subordinates would be able to capture him, plus it was his mistake for being hit without considering the consequences, so now he wouldn't let a little sleep stop him from finishing his work.
“Ew!” The captain's eyes widened when he saw Smoker getting up and practically ready to continue the battle, he also noticed that the vice admiral seemed much more irritated at being hit and this made the pirate shake from top to bottom. “How are you still awake?!” He screamed in shock in confusion “You… You should have fallen asleep immediately with my touch combined with my power!” Thanks to the marine's confused and tired head, Smoker wasn't sure if the man was scared, angry, frustrated or shocked... Not that it would make much of a difference.
"I guess you're not that powerful..." Smoker smiled and this time he wasn't going to stand still to be attacked again, using his devil fruit he quickly turned into smoke as he ran towards the pirate and attacked him again, launching him towards on top of his crew, all falling like bowling pins.
The vice admiral prepared to advance for another attack, but a wave of drowsiness hit him again and his knees weakened, his breathing became labored as he struggled to stay awake. Luckily he managed to hear in the distance the countless footsteps of what must have been one of the squadrons of marines that he called in as reinforcements, it didn't take long for them to begin to advance on the other weaker pirates and some came to their commander's aid.
“Smoker-sama! Are you okay?!" One of the Marines came over and helped him to his feet, although he still had a firm grip on his weapon, not trusting that the poor Marine would support his full weight.
Smoker opened his mouth to explain the situation as best as his tired and heavy head would allow, but upon hearing the screams and sounds of bodies falling to the ground his gaze quickly turned in search of the confusion. That's when he saw some marines lying on the ground, the same marines who had run after the captain using a devil fruit. Considering what the Vice Admiral had already seen, he could assume that the men on the ground were now in a deep asleep state. At least they weren't hurt but that still didn't make the situation better, since even just sleeping there were fewer men to fight the pirates.
"Shit! Don't approach the captain! He has a devil fruit that can put others to sleep!” Smoker screamed loudly and let go of the Marine who was helping him, there was no way around it, he needed to be himself to defeat this captain and guarantee the safety of his men. Low-ranking Marines wouldn't be able to handle a devil fruit, sometimes even high-ranking ones couldn't handle it! So it was his job to sort it out with the captain and leave the other pirates to his men.
“Commander Smoker!” The Marine shouted in concern seeing how unstable the white-haired man's form was, it was obvious that the Admiral himself would be the next man to fall to the ground overcome with sleep “Please don't get involved in the fight anymore! Rear Admiral (Y/N) is already on their way! They squad were taking care of the civilians, but they must have been coming here due to the confusion!” The man tried to convince him, but all of Smoker's subordinates knew how stubborn he could be, at least now the commander was a little more relaxed as he was sure that someone stronger was coming as backup in case something went wrong.
Ignoring the marine's words, he took one last hard breath trying to get his head to shake off the sleep and then charged at the pirate captain again. He only needs to knock him out or immobilize him long enough for his subordinates to use handcuffs or sea stone nets, making it impossible for the pirate to use his powers and making him basically harmless against larger numbers.
The captain was once again startled by Smoker's attack, but he now seemed a little more confident than before and didn't take long to block the attack with his own weapon. The marine managed to land a few good blows but nothing seemed to knock the pirate down who kept trying to touch him even though he was already hurt from so many blows, the two separated quickly and the commander heard more people approaching again, he just needed to hold out a little longer and there would be enough reinforcements to finish this mess.
Determined to try to finish this as quickly as possible, knowing that his body was already giving up cooperating with him, Smoker advanced ready for one last attack... He just didn't expect the captain to grab his weapon, smiling confidently and leaving the marine confused.
“That hurt like hell…” the man laughed weakly and Smoker could see the blood dripping from him holding the direct attack with his bare hands, what was going through his head? "But it doesn't matter, it will be worth it when you find out that I don't need to touch a person to put them to sleep... I can easily induce someone with my power if I can just touch an object that my prey is also touching.” ” he smiled mischievously and the marine's gaze dropped to his weapon, a small purple aura was surrounding it and attached to his arm. “I said you would succumb to my power Vice Admiral, I will put you to sleep for more years than Sleeping Beauty herself slept!” The pirate said with a malicious and victorious laugh, finally taking pride in having won against a vice admiral.
Smoker didn't have much time to react, he soon felt his knees hitting the floor as his entire body became heavier than an anvil, his entire body was numb and tired. Little by little his heart beat slower, his breathing became calm and his eyes slowly closed, he didn't even feel pain when he fell face down on the stone floor of the street where they were fighting. The last thing he thought he heard was someone calling his name in a worried manner, but he couldn't see or identify who the voice belonged to.
When Smoker's senses finally returned, everything still seemed very strange. His head was hurting and his body was heavy and sore as if he hadn't moved in days, he also felt a little confused and nauseous and it was as if he had gone to bed sick and woke up even worse. He had to try a few times before his eyes finally opened, when he did the light was a little uncomfortable but the room wasn't extremely bright.
His throat was dry and it took him a few seconds to finally wake up completely to better analyze where he was. The room had white and blue walls, the window was large and gave a view of a huge garden or park, the curtain was light blue and prevented the sun from completely taking over the place. The door was closed and there was just some furniture, a chest of drawers in front of the bed, two armchairs next to it and nothing else, apart from the obvious medical equipment next to him, nothing else was needed to confirm that he was in the hospital.
He had some wires connected, an IV, and what looked like things to measure his heart rate, but he didn't seem to have any bandages under his hospital clothes so he could assume he wasn't in a serious condition. He leaned back against the pillows and sighed as he thought about what he was going to do now that he woke up, his head was sore and he didn't fully remember what had happened.
He decided to lift his arm to try to get out of bed, but a huge weight prevented him from doing so, when he looked to the side he noticed something that had been there the whole time and he hadn't noticed: you. None other than Rear Admiral (Y/n), was sleeping in an armchair next to his bed and hugged Smoker's arm as if you were afraid he would leave while you couldn't notice and stop him.
Smoker's face became extremely hot and he was sure it was redder than a pepper... Why were you there? And still so close... Smoker had never touched you beyond a few pats on the shoulder and professional and stupid things, but there you were, not only hugging his arm but practically sleeping on top of him.
You seemed very peaceful, but when he looked closer he could see that you actually looked tired. Your face was a little thinner and paler, in addition to the dark bags under his eyes, which only showed that you had slept terribly in the last few days, but why all this? What had happened to cause you so much concern? Was it possible that it was… Him?
Smoker always heard that when you were in love with someone, all it took was one look for your heart to beat fast enough to jump out of your chest... But now he was confused, his heart was so calm and warm that it was almost as if he was dying. You were so beautiful, you were always beautiful and incredible when you were working or giving orders, but there was something there in that very domestic scene that seemed to make you a thousand times more beautiful...
He didn't even notice when he moved his free hand to put it in your hair and it was as soft as he always imagined it would be, slowly he began to caress the strands, making a nervous and shy stroke. What was that? One of Smoker's most embarrassing dreams? Being close to you, so intimately and doing such domestic and simple things like just stroking each other's hair or just sleeping side by side... It made his heart rejoice and his cheeks feel warm, yes... It was really obvious that he was completely in love with you.
Little by little your face started to contort, first you had a simple smile and maybe you were even purring because you were so comfortable, soon after you started to have a confused and nervous face maybe finally understanding what was happening, then when finally understood that there was someone touching you, you immediately woke up. You jumped up that made Smoker move away and you looked like a soldier who felt so desperate because fell asleep in the middle of the war, or as if you had lost something extremely important.
You looked around scared as if you were afraid of a ghost and when your gaze finally landed on Smoker, completely awake and looking at you in surprise, your eyes filled with tears and you threw yourself at him, climbing onto the bed and hugging him so tight that you felt he hadn't had any broken ribs before now he had definitely gotten some...
“SMOKER!” You screamed as you grabbed him as if you missed him so much that it was painful to bear, the shocking thing for him was that you were so emotional to the point of crying, you had never shown weakness and emotions like that so easily before.
“(Y-Y/N)!?” He stuttered your name nervously, he didn't expect you to hug him as soon as you saw him awake. He swallowed deeply without knowing what to do, their hands slowly rested on his waist, touching you but still far from hugging you, too afraid that it was just a dream and the moment he touched you you would disappear.
“You woke up… You finally woke up” you sniffled and now you seemed to be stopping crying to finally calm down, your concern was genuine and this made Smoker even more confused and curious. You slowly moved away, sitting in front of him, the two of you were still very close but Smoker thought it best to take his hands off your waist, although you still had one hand on his stomach.
"Why are you crying?" He sighed and instinctively moved his hand to your cheek, trying to wipe away your tears.
“I was worried… You never woke up and the doctors didn’t know what to do… I thought we might lose you” You sighed but didn’t move away from his gentle touch.
"What do you mean? My head feels like shit…” he mumbled irritably and little by little his memories came back “Ah! The pirate, that devil fruit user isn’t it?”
“Yes, the power of the sleep-sleep fruit… The other marines who were hit by it slept for a maximum of two days… But you were in a type of coma for a week” you explained looking at him with concern and joy “It's a relief that you woke up, I couldn't kill that pirate because you taught that we should prioritize being arrested alive... But when I saw you lying down and no one could wake you up, I... I swore I would make that bastard regret touching you !” You screamed angrily and punched the bed, in this case a light punch to his stomach that made him jump in fright and you cried desperately for an apology while Smoker held back his laughter.
“You did well, you managed to control your emotions during a fight and carry out the arrest without any problems…” He sighed in relief that you didn't have difficulty with that idiotic pirate “A week in? That’s crazy… It must have been my biggest vacation this year” he sighed, laughing at the joke and you laughed along.
“You worried a lot of people, the doctors had to expel a lot of marines from here who wanted to thank you... And a lot of civilians too” you smiled thinking how adored Smoker was by everyone, whether civilians or his own subordinates.
“Good… That’s good… Huh, what… Did you come visit me today?” He asked somewhat shyly and looked away with his cheeks getting hot.
“Ah… Not exactly…” he felt his heart breaking at your statement “A visit means I would leave and come back… And well… I'm kind of sleeping in this armchair like since you were moved into this room.” Smoker's head spun so fast he could hear a snap, he looked at you in shock at that unexpected confession, the most he thought was that you would admit that you cared about his well-being and that's why you visited him every now, but you... Had you been there all this time? Even sleeping in an uncomfortable armchair so as not to leave him alone?
“You… But… But why would you do that?” He stuttered in shock and curiosity, he imagined he had some importance to you, he was your superior and trainer besides you being even remotely close, but he didn't imagine you cared about him to that point.
“I…” You sighed and looked away “I was scared… Scared that you would never wake up or die” you bit your lip. “I was afraid that you would die mad at me and I would never know what I did wrong… Scared that I would never be able to fix things between us… And scared that I would never be able to tell you how I feel about you” you finished looking at him with a smile sad.
“You didn't do anything wrong, I was an idiot and took my frustration out on you when… Huh, wait? What did you say?" He stopped talking when he finally absorbed the last part of your sentence. “What do you mean by ‘how you feel about me’?” He looked at you confused and Smoker's heart was beating so fast that maybe he was going to go into a coma again or simply have a heart attack.
“Smoker-san… For someone so intelligent in battle you leave something to be desired in other areas” you laughed and placed your hand over his making circles with your finger in an affectionate way “I think everyone realizes that I'm in love with you... Except you.”
“And I think everyone also realized that I'm in love with you... Except you” he said immediately after you.
Soon the two of you were staring at each other with wide eyes and an extremely red face, you two were in love this whole time and never realized it before?!
“What do you mean you were in love with me?! You seemed furious with me days ago!” You said confused but still full of hope.
“I was furious because I heard you saying you were in love with someone else!” He countered.
"Yes! In love with you!" You said defending yourself.
"I did not know that!" He said nervous and embarrassed about the situation.
“I would have known if you had asked me out or just been less accepting when I asked you!” You huffed and crossed your arms, but soon smiled lovingly. “Well… that’s good, now you won’t be able to dismiss me when I invite you to lunch!”
He blushed again and looked down, feeling a smile dominate his face. Soon he sighed and held your hand, finally looking at you.
“A real date.” He said seriously.
“Huh?” You looked at him confused.
“I’m going to take you on a real date. For... Huh... For treating you rudely and taking so long to confess... It's the least I can do after you stay here taking care of me" he finally said what was weighing on his heart, now he had not only apologized for the confusion , but he had also confessed his feelings and asked you out on a date. Finally Smoker had managed to say everything he wanted to you.
“I can’t wait” And when you smiled at him…Ah, he was sure that everything had been immensely worth it.
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chouxsardine · 3 months
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Ticked (all my boxes) — Jake Kiszka x reader
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Summary: It's December 24th, but you've still got so much to do. --A look into y/n's Christmas Eve with Jake in the form of a to-do list
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader
Word Count: 5655
Warnings: not much, mentions of alcohol, nearly 6k of PURE FLUFF
Genre: holiday fic, tooth-rotting fluff
Tips: Some may prefer an uninterrupted reading experience, but I have linked some visual cues to the specific items mentioned in the fic so you can better visualize them. You can click when you see an underlined word. Please suit yourself :)
Author's note: This is my GVF Secret Santa gift for @nina-23-45 (if you are Nina, please click here for A Letter from Santa; Sorry for the wait!!). This is the longest fic I've written. As challenging as it is, I honestly had so much fun writing it, it has certainly helped me find the joy of writing again, and I wish to share it with all of you. I hope you are staying cozy, happy, and healthy. Happy holidays. This is a long one, so grab your hot cocoa, make yourself comfy, snuggle with your pets, put on some of your favourite holiday tunes, and...enjoy!!
🎧: everyone has their own favourite Christmas songs, so take your pick! But I do recommend listen to Cause We've ended as Lovers by Jeff Beck when you have time
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7:00 AM You crack open an eye. The red digital numbers on the bedside clock becomes clearer in your vision. You try to move and feel Jake’s arm wrapped protectively around your midsection. You turn your head slightly, and there is your lover: his hair covering half of his face, breathing long and even, soundly asleep like some royal prince from a medieval oil painting, although you know he’d probably prefer to look like a pirate with a pipe hanging out of his mouth, if he had the choice. The thought of that brings a smile to your face. You manage to escape from Jake’s hug without waking him up, moving one frame at a time like a character in a slowed-down stop motion film. Jake lets out a grunt as you finally climb out of bed. You hold your breath nervously, but he doesn’t stir, just rubs his cheek further into the pillow. You place a feathery kiss on his temple and tiptoe downstairs.
You were never a morning person, but tomorrow is Christmas and you know it is going to be a long day of preparation. You put the kettle on, taking out two mugs from the cupboard, and find yourself staring eye to eye with Blackbeard. That’s the mug you got for Jake when you started living together. He has been using it ever since. He even drinks whiskey out of it. (“No one drinks whiskey out of a mug, Jake.” “I’m the Captain, I make ship happens if I want to!” refutes Jake in his Oliver Reed voice)
The whistling kettle pulls back your attention. You pour the boiling water over the tea bags. The living room is dimly lit. A certain kind of dimness mixed with a humidity that is unique to winter days. You peak through the blinds, the snow has stopped; everything is covered in white.
You stand in front of the open fridge as a pair of arms snake around your waist, following by Jake’s chin resting on your shoulder.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Hmm, it’s still very early. Did I wake you up?” You reach your hand back to ruffle up his hair.
“Nope, the bed is just cold without you.”
“What do you want for breakfast, anything that caught your eye?” Holding the fridge door open without taking further action is your guilty pleasure; you feel like an old Duchess inspecting her prized jewelry collection.
“Dunno. Omelet?” You’re not even sure if Jake’s eyes are open from how sleepy his voice sounds.
“Sure, but only if you are making it. I can never get them to the right texture and it pisses me off!” You scold dramatically as you retrieve the eggs.
“Uh-uh, can’t have a pissed-off y/n for Christmas,” Jake takes over the carton, “but I do know she makes some killer sausage patties.”
Lord, this man knows how to hype you up, even when it’s the simplest task of throwing some pre-cooked frozen meat into the oven.
Fifteen minutes later, the two of you are sitting at the table. You sink your fork into a piece of omelet. Upon tasting it, your eyes light up immediately. The outside maintains its shape with lightly crispy edges while the inside melts away in a creamy concoction.
“Jake, this tastes like liquid sun!” You compliment in awe.
Jake snorts out a chuckle at your analogy, trying to wave it off, despite the fact that he is obviously flustered. As the good girlfriend that you are, of course you won’t let go of the chance to tease him. So you wave you fork like a baton and hum your improvised tune: “Jakey boy did it again, oh he done did it again!”
This time Jake is full-on laughing. “Come on, y/n. It’s just an omelet.”
“How dare you?” You gasp, pretending to be offended. “This is not JUST an omelet, this omelet has…” you lower your voice and flutter your fingers around the food, “rock star magic in it!”
What a nice way to start off the day, you think as you chew on another forkful of egg, certainly worth sacrificing some sleep.
✅ A nice morning with a full belly.
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10:00 AM You push and the wooden door opens with a jingle and a creak. You hurry inside and are wrapped in a warm embrace of the musty smell of paper and expired mothballs. The ruddy-cheeked old man behind the counter looks up from the tome in front of him and greets you warmly: “Good morning, dear.”
“Morning, Mr. Friesen.” You hold your freezing fingers near the wood stove that stands in the centre of the room. “It’s so cold out there today.”
“On the brighter side, we get a white Christmas, ain’t so lucky last year.”
Friesen’s is your favourite second-hand book store around town. You have been a regular since freshman year in college, and you have lost count of how much money you saved by relying on the old textbooks you found here. Naturally, you have acquainted yourself with its friendly and mysterious owner. Mr. Friesen is quite the myth and legend himself. From his conversation with customers that you’ve accidentally eavesdropped over the years, you pieced together that he used to be the frontman of a rock band in the 70s before one of his bandmates sadly passed away in an accident. He opened the bookshop as an extension of his basement collection thirty years ago.
“I have the books here for you. They are still in decent condition, a rare find these days. Whoever’s getting them must be lucky.”
One good thing about the Friesen’s is that if there’s something specific you’re looking for, you can always request it. There’s no guarantee, but Mr. Friesen will try his best; and this man never disappoints. A few weeks ago, you asked him to keep an eye out for any American classics: Hemingway, Fitzgerald and the like, planning to give them to Josh as his Christmas present. You were losing hope until you received a last-minute call from the bookshop, telling you that a rare first edition of John Steinbeck’s Cannery Row is ready for you to pickup.
“I honestly can’t thank you enough. You’re such a gem,” you smile. “And I have a little Christmas present for you as well.” You pull out a wrapped vinyl from your tote bag.
“Oh you don’t have to do that, my dear,” Mr. Friesen peels back the wrapping paper. “Oh! Phil Sector’s Christmas Album, I don’t have this one yet. What a nice addition to my collection. Thank you, y/n.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Friesen. It’s the least I can do. You’ve always been so kind to me.”
The old man hums before looking up at you somewhat smugly. “Now, excuse me for being nosy, but how’s it going with that rock star boyfriends of yours?”
Despite being together for so long and being open about your relationship, you still blush when people mention Jake as your boyfriend in public. You have brought Jake to the bookstore before, while things between you were still platonic. If Mr. Friesen sensed anything then, he never let it show.
Taking in your expression, Mr. Friesen beams meaningfully, “Well, I think he’s a lucky guy. You can always tell from a person’s appearance when they’re with the right one, and I can see it in you. I’ll say he’s a keeper, that kid.”
“That’s such a nice thing for you to say,” you reply shyly.
“Well, I shouldn’t be keeping you any longer. It seems like someone is already waiting,” Mrs. Friesen motions outside the window. You follow his gaze and see Jake standing across the street.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Friesen. Thank you again.”
“Anytime, kiddo. Merry Christmas.”
Outside the bookshop, Jake is kicking a chunk of ice between his feet while he waits for you.
“Do You have everything you need?” You ask.
“Yes. Do you?” he holds out his elbow and you happily hook your arm through it.
“Yup.” You show him the book wrapped in brown paper.
“Huh,” He huffs in a playfully offended voice, “someone’s got the good stuff this year.”
You slight elbow him in the ribs. “Hoy, you green-eyed monster, that’s because Josh’s on the good list this year.”
“Oh, is that so? How did I make it onto the naughty list then?”
“The possibilities are endless!” You exaggerate, holding out your hands to count, “first, for being the sexy little swine that you are…”
You and Jake could probably go on like this forever if weren’t for the fact that you’re arriving at your destination. To finish some last minute Christmas shopping is the only reason that you are outside on such a cold day. You and Jake have decided to “divide and conquer”, with you going to the bookshop to pick up Josh’s gift and Jake going to the liquor store to for some nice Prosecco for the family gathering tomorrow. Then, you will go to the mall together to pick up the present for your cousin.
Rewind to about an hour ago:
As much as your cousin is a sweetheart, it is a real pain to buy Christmas presents for her. And as the procrastinator that you are, of course, you put it off until the last minute to make decisions. Last but not the least, you comfort yourself. Now the time has come for you to have a taste of your own medicine. You were unconsciously tugging your hair as you stared at the coffee table, furrowing your eyebrows deep in concentration.
“Why do you look worried?” Jake plopped down onto the couch next to you.
“I still haven’t got a present for my cousin.” You rubbed your temple and groaned. “I feel like she’s got everything. Everyone always says, ‘oh it’s not about the gift’, but I couldn’t go to her empty handed! I mean, it’s Christmas, people are expecting gifts anyways.”
“Actually, if you don’t mind, I think I have an idea.” Jake reached for his phone and you perked up.
“I saw this the other day, do you think it will suit her?” Jake showed you a picture of what happens to be a magnetic key holder. “Ronnie has mentioned it before, and I saw it at the mall the other day. Didn’t you tell me that your cousin just got her own place earlier this month? It could be a nice housewarming slash Christmas gift.”
“No, you didn’t! ” You almost jolted up from the sofa. “Aww, thank you, Jake! you don’t have to do that!”
“That’s okay, love, anything that takes worries away from my girl.” He beams back at you. “Now we just need to go to the store to pick it up.”
You have always known Jake for being the most caring and attentive lover. But this is on a whole another level. The fact that he even keeps the most mundane trifles you blurt out in mind shows how much he cares. You have already been deeply incorporated into his life, his every decisions now will always include the factor of “you”. The thought makes your heart melt.
Therefore, here you are now, standing in front of the mall entrance.
Although Jake has made your task a thousand times easier, you still hated going into the mall. The crowd, the music, all the right ingredients for sensory overload.
“Last-minute Christmas shopping, yeah?”
“Okay, deep breath,” Jake holds both of your hands in his, eyes shining with encouragement. “I know the exact shelf it’s on. We’ll go in and out, quick as a bunny, a Christmas Bunny, alright?”
“Yeah, okay, we can do this.” You nod.
“One, two, three….go!”
And like Mario Karts you two set off.
You are sure there are people passing by watching you two adults giggling and pushing through the revolving doors like you are lunatics, but you don’t give a hoot. You love embracing your inner child from time to time, and you just happen to be so lucky to have the right person who makes you feel at ease doing so.
✅ Drop off vinyl and pick up the book for Josh at Friesen’s Christmas present for (your cousin’s name)
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2:15 PM The film is still playing in the background, you must’ve fallen asleep. See, you just know that waking up too early isn’t for you.
You feel exhausted after your gift-hunting excursion, so you decide to watch a film together while snacking on some chips. Your Christmas movie list is like no other—none of the fluffy rom coms like The Holidays or Love Actually, also no household classics like Home Alone or Miracle on 34th Street. To be fair, you have nothing against them, you just prefer something that brings more of an adrenaline rush. Therefore, your picks consist mainly of psychological thrillers and horror movies. You remember feeling apprehensive when you first told Jake about it, thinking it would be weird for a girl to choose The Shining over Titanic. But Jake is completely unbothered. Instead, he loves that about you. “Love my girl quirky,” is how he had put it. “And I get to hold you if you’re scared.” (You always protest that you’re not, but sometimes you do, and you have to admit it does feel nice to have someone’s shirt to bury your face into just in case some scenes get too intense for your liking). Actually, you think now you’ve successfully gotten Jake into it as well. He especially likes to plague you with his theories after you have finished the movie, turned off the lights, and snuggled under the duvets. (“But do you think he really killed her? I mean, what if—-” “Jake, enough!”)
But now, art kind of imitates life. The house feels weirdly empty and quiet. Jake is no where in sight.
“Jake?” Not in the bathroom. Not in his studio in the basement. Not in the garage either.
Just as you are staring to wonder if this is some kind of prank, you look outside the window and saw a familiar figure in the backyard. Jake was standing near the fence, fumbling with something. His back is turned against you, so you couldn’t figure out what he is doing.
It starts snowing again. The crisp air outdoor whips all the sleepiness clear from your head. You wrap your arm around yourself and walk towards Jake. He must be really focused on whatever he is doing because he didn’t hear you approaching at all. Now you are standing close enough to see clearly.
He uses a gift card to scoop up some snow, flattens it with his palm, and then adheres the now thin slice of snow to a stick. There are already layers attached to it; the shape of it somewhat resembles a flower.
“Jake, what are you doing up here?”
Jake spins around. For a moment, he wears the expression of a child being caught red-handed stealing cookies from the countertop. And then you see what he is holding in his hand.
It is a half-finished rose, but made of snow.
“Shh, it’s almost done. Just give me a moment.” Jake has that serious look on his face, the same one on stage when he was looking down at his guitar through hooded eyes, a slight crease at the inner corner of his eyebrows; his lips pressed, showing his Marionette lines. His long eyelashes give the false impression that he has his eyes closed.
The snows has accumulated over night and reached a rather firm texture, which is idea for shaping. But it is also naturally brittle. Even if you are not the one making it, you can tell that it requires one to find the sweet spot between melting the snow and wetting it just enough so that it sticks. You see Jake’s hand red with cold and your heart wrenches at the sight. He doesn’t seem to care at all. You want stop him right there, but something about his demeanour tells you that he really wants to show you the result.
It seems that Jake got the gist of it pretty quickly. He repeats the process a few more times and there it is, a rose made of snow. The layered petals hug around the bud, its edges crystal and flimsy like cicadas’ wings. He picks it up by the stem carefully and extends it to you.
“Here, a rose for my dearest.”
You are too stunned to speak, struck by the beauty frozen in time. You don’t know where he gets the idea from, but it is such an endearing gesture, him leaving the warm bedside of his soundly asleep lover, standing in the cold, molding snow with his bare hands, just so that he could surprise her.
“I…I love this so much. Thank you, Jake.”
When you look up at Jake, your eyes are stinging with tears. The tip of Jake’s nose is frozen red, as well as his cheeks. He was looking at you with a toothy grin. As cliché as it may sound, Jake truly came into your life like a knight in an armour made of starlight. Being in a relationship with him has taught you so much more about growth, trust, and loyalty. He adores and cherishes you with all his heart. He will always make an effort for you, will always firmly choose you and stand by you to support you. Shy he maybe, when he loves, he never holds back. A single rose has always meant the words, “I love you”; it holds all his love.
“Don’t cry, my dear, your tears are gonna freeze too. I wanted you to be happy.” Jake coos, wiping away your tears. The coldness of his thumb reminds you of you shouldn’t be wasting more time on stupid tears and Jake should get his hands warmed up.
“Wait here!” You yell over your shoulder as you run inside the house. Don’t even bother taking off your wet boots; you grab a Tupperware and a piece of styrofoam laying around from the gift wrappings and rush back out.
“This is going to live in my fridge forever.”
Jake laughs as he helps you stab the snapped stem onto the styrofoam to secure the rose in the container. “It is truly amazing how romance always resides in the ephemeral and transient things. It is lucky that we still have eyes that can see and a heart that is still beating to appreciate them.”
“Yes, but not everyone is lucky to have this kind of beauty and happiness captured for them, though.” You put his hands into the pocket of your coat as you walk back inside, “Oh, Jakey boy, what have I done to deserve you?”
✅ A snow rose. This one is uncalled for, but hey, what’s a to-do list if there wasn’t some surprise interruption, especially when it’s an incredibly precious one like this.
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7:45 PM You have been checking on your snow rose every time you open the fridge (which is very often), like checking on the pet goldfish you’ve got in kindergarten.
“Baby, you know it’s not gonna grow legs and run away, right?” Jake leans against the kitchen counter. “With that much snow out there, I could just make you another—-”
“Don’t you dare risk those money makers for things like this again!” You give him a pointed look. You have been babying Jake’s hands since the moment you got back inside: running them under lukewarm water, submerging them in a basin of warm water with essential oil, rubbing and massaging his fingers to accelerate blood circulation, you even made him apply some coconut-scented hand cream (“My hands smell like piña colada”). Jake has to assure you thrice or even more times that he feels just fine, but still, you give him that suspicious “mom” look. (“Y/n, I promise you my hands are fine. They are strong guitar fingers, they can hold against a little chills. Plus, I’ve broken my arm before and——-” “Shhhhh! Knock on wood, Jake!”)
“Anyways, I think the cookie dough should be done chilling. Do you mind taking them out after you’ve done inspecting your rose, my love?”
You are baking some cookies for the family gathering tomorrow. You have found a recipe for Aquarium Cookies, which upgrades the traditional stained glass cookies by pressing two of them together and creating some space in between for sprinkles. You are also going to bake some regular sugar cookies using the instrument-shaped cookie cutters you bought, one symbol for each boy.
Baking is your favourite Christmas activities. It warms up the house—both temperature and atmosphere-wise, and makes it smell like a bakery. And nothing beats decorating cookies.
Think about it, a gingerbread house is too limited, and let’s be honest, half of it mostly ended up in the stomachs of some raccoons. Decorating a whole cake is too daunting, but cookies, cookies are perfect! Perfect size, perfect usage, no waste, everyone’s happy.
“They are basically edible canvases,” you tell Jake as he hands you a rolled-out dough.
“Y/n, have I told you how I love the way you brain works? ‘Liquid sun’, 'edible canvases’. Listen to yourself, you are basically a lyricist.”
How does Jake just constantly whips out compliments out of thin air and make your heart flutters like colourful flags in the wind? You smile bashfully. However, the next second, that smile turns into a pout as you remove the cookie cutter and find out that the guitar cookie has a broken neck again.
“Jake, I broke it again,” you whine.
“Here, let me try.” Jake takes over your failed attempts, crumbles it into a ball and flattens it with the rolling pin.
You hold your breathe as Jake gently lifts up the mold. The cookie lies pliantly in his hands. No break. It is kind of magical how Jake can basically “tame” all the guitars in the world if he wants to, even if they’re composed of flour, butter, and sugar.
“How do you do that?” you marvel. “Really, how come you are so good at cooking?” Jake made pasta for dinner using his secret sauce recipe. You helped yourself to two servings.
“Hmm, because I’m a good poet.” Jake says as he produces another perfectly drum-shaped cookie.
“Enlighten me, please.”
“‘A good poet differs nothing at all from a master-cook. Either’s art is the wisdom of the mind’.”
Jake couldn’t help but chuckle at your star-struck fangirl face, “Not my words, it’s from Ben Johnson’s ‘Neptune's Triumph for the Return of Albion’.”
Of course, of course, he would just quote some 17th-century play like it’s some item off the grocery list. You shouldn’t be expecting anything less from a man who recites poetry while launching a paper plane.
✅ Bake and decorate Christmas cookies (philosophically, with a side of literature)
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9:43 PM You decided to go to bed early so that you would have enough energy for the official Christmas Day tomorrow. You are going to Karen and Kelly’s house around noon for the family gathering and dinner. But there remains one very important thing to do before you sleep, and you have been waiting in excitement the whole day like a pupil on their way for a field trip.
You and Jake will do your personal gift-opening on Christmas Eve. It is a special and intimate moment just between the two of you when you elope as lovers to your own love nest. It is a time that you deliberately reserve for yourselves away from all the hectic holiday bustle. It has been a tradition of yours, something you probably will keep on doing even after you have kids in the future (that is, if you decide to have them), just to remind yourselves of the special bond you share. And nothing and no one will change it, not the possibilities of additional family members nor the passage of time.
A string version of Last Christmas is playing in the background. Some may consider it a worn-out tune, but it holds a special place in your heart. It brings you back to your sweet elementary school years, where you and your friends would secretly meet together after school and rehearse the song for the school’s annual Christmas party. You guys were so serious about it, coming up with the choreography and everything. And you also remember your mom showing Jake the pictures of your performance when he met your parents for the first time. You feel embarrassed, but Jake finds you adorable in your silly little Santa hat and fluffy costume. Since then, he has made a mental note to always have some version of this song playing in the house around the holiday seasons.
You are wearing one of Jake’s sweaters. It’s a green acrylic sweater from his younger years. He once let you borrow it on a particularly rainy camping trip, and it was the first piece of clothing that you’ve “adopted” from his closet after you got together. The sleeves are a bit long for you, always covering half of your palms when you put your arms down, but you love it; it feels like holding Jake’s hands.
You treat this activity with an almost ritualistic seriousness, making sure you are in your most comfortable state, both mentally and physically.
“Come sit, angel,” Jake pats the space on the carpet next to the fireplace where he is sitting.
You happily oblige. You will play a round of rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes first. This time Jake loses, so he will start first.
He reaches under the Christmas tree and pulls out a small box with forest green wrapping paper. You almost feel bad for ripping the paper just because how beautiful the colour is. You open the lid to reveal a little witch figurine. She is about twenty centimetres tall and made out of wool. She wears a dress with a mixed shade of orange, warm brown hair hanging down to her waist, and a tawny pointy hat with a milky ribbon proudly sitting on top. She holds an Oslo grey broom in her hand, her arms opening as if she is caught in the middle of welcoming someone. The metal spring attachment in the bottom showing her function as a tree topper.
“She is so beautiful!” Your thumb brushes her dress, the wool so smooth and soft.
“It is only right to have her look after the house for my little quirky girl,” Jake says. “Do you want to put it up and see how it looks?”
You nod excitedly and step onto the stool beside the tree. Just like magic, she blends into the whole look perfectly, adding a rustic charm and a warm glow to the evergreen. It is as if she’s belonged there all along.
“I love her already. Thank you so much, baby.” You bend down to kiss Jake on the lips. He knows you so well, he knows that your fantasy since you were a little girl has been living in the woods as a witch, and he remembers how excited you were when the music video of Meeting the Master came out.
“Now, my next gift may need you to help me out a bit,” you say as you walk towards the bookshelf. Jake stands within reaching distance, watching you in curiosity as you move the metal vase stand out of the way and then reach into the gap between the bookshelf and the wall with your right arm. He helps you drag out a long rectangular box.
“Wow, sneaky move here, y/n.” Jake teases. “But that’s a good hiding spot though, I wouldn’t have thought.”
“That’s the point,” you smirk. You are quite proud of yourself, honestly. Jake has been at the studio a lot this month, and you did not let those hours go to waste. Jake wanders around the house when he can’t sleep at night, and you have contemplated a lot of hiding spots.
“This is big stuff,” Jake tears away the wrapping. You got Jake a Whiskey Barrel guitar holder. As the name suggests, it holds three guitars and is made out of staves from renowned bourbon distilleries. The wood is sanded and matt coated, with the black marks of the barrel rings showing its origin. Each piece is unique.
“Merry Christmas! I thought it’d be a nice addition to your studio downstairs.” You lace your fingers together nervously.
“I say it’s a perfect upgrade! The Gibsons are definitely going up on the walls, baby!” Jake presents a winsome smile. “Thank you so much, y/n.”
If your excitement are already bubbling, now it has been dialed up even higher. You and Jake have one last gift for each other and both of you love to save the best for last.
“I didn’t wrap this next one, because I have been literally still adding to it as of today. Now close your eyes.” You move to sit across from Jake.
Jake feels something like a book being laid in his lap. He opens his eyes and sees what appears to be a leather sketchbook. You nod and motion him to flip through it.
They are sketches. Sketches of him. The first page is a sketch of Jake sitting on the lawn and holding his guitar He recognizes that’s one of your first dates at the park. There’s Jake in his sword and rose costume on stage. You have always told him that is one of your favourite costumes of his. There’s Jake in his aprons, stirring something over the stove. There’s Jake soundly asleep, you must’ve sketched that one while he was taking a nap….the last page, freshly dated, concludes with the sketch of a single rose, resembling the one he made for you earlier this afternoon. You have used your pencil as an old-fashion camera and encapsulated all the lovely moments between you on paper.
“I’m not the best with my sketching, but you know, I’m improving. Also, it is not fair for you to be so pretty that it is difficult to draw.” You cheeks now are rosy pink.
“No, sweetheart, these are perfect,” Jake reaches to cup your face, “you know I have always adored your drawings.” He can also see you through the pages; you sitting by the table, stealing glances at him, nibbling on the back of the pencil. The weight of the sketchbook is way more than just paper and lead; it is also his lover’s heart.
“So, to wrap up the night.” Jake gets up and lifts the needle off the playing record. The room becomes quiet, brewing with anticipation. He pulls out his lap top and turns it to face you. On the desktop, there’s a folder labeled with your name; a single audio file lies in it. Jake turns the volume to the fullest and clicks on the file.
Within five seconds, you have recognized it is Jeff Beck’s Cause We’ve Ended as Lovers. Or, should you say, Jake’s version of Jeff Beck’s Cause We’ve Ended as Lovers. The song is without a doubt your all-time favourite guitar solo. The whole Blow by Blow album is amazing, but you have taken a special liking to this song. Yes, it is sad, but it is bittersweet in a poignant and amicable way. It is an elegiac of old lovers but also an affirmation and proof of a beautiful memory, representing the a part of life that is forever altered just because you have crossed path with someone. For the whole five minutes and forty-two seconds, it is as if you are transported to another dimension. Now, this song has become even more significant to you. The fact that Jake covers and records it for you feels makes it particularly personal and intimate. You try to picture him standing in the studio, in a similar position as the figure on the album cover.
A single tear escapes the corner of your eye and Jake is quick to catch it with his thumb. You hold his hand close to your face, kissing his fingers gently.
“I’m in my feels again,” you say after taking a deep breathe, “continue to make me cry and I will need to go check on my emotional support rose again.”
Jake chuckles. “Aww, I am glad you like it, love. Merry Christmas.”
“Thank you so much. I love you, Jake.”
“I love you too, doll.” He scoots over closer. “Now, can I get another kiss from my girl?”
Surely he can, but you just want to tease him a bit more.
“Oops, I’m afraid you can’t, sir. I see no mistletoe around here.” You grin mischievously.
Jake was prepared for your impishness. He grabs his phone and quickly searches up a photo of mistletoe. Holding it above your heads, he raises his eyebrows, a silent “how about now?”
You roll your eyes. “Come here already, you dork.”
✅ Give Jake his gifts. (The guitar holder is hiding behind the bookshelf)
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10:21 PM Having exhausted almost every single item on your to-do list, it is finally time to relax. You lie in each other’s arm like a pretzel. You are dozing off to the steady rhythm of Jake’s heartbeat. You must have ended up on the nice list this year. You are so grateful for all you have, for being loved and cared for in every way.
✅ Snuggle with Jake. Tell him how much you love him.
Mentally, you tick off the last box of your Christmas Eve to-do list before falling into a dream filled with marshmallows and hot chocolate, starlight and lover.
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Here, you made it!! Thank you so much for reading.
Just in case you want to check out more of my works:
Mariner's Complex || Permission to Fall || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones ||
I'm just starting off with writing fics for gvf, please leave a comment or send me an ask/message if you would like me to put up a tag list :)
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eelfuneral · 7 months
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Some of the discussion that happens within the Star Wars fandom, particularly discussion of the Jedi, can be really upsetting to observe if you have certain disabilities. In fact, I’m having a hard time even liking the Jedi right now because I can’t help but associate them with some really ableist takes that I’ve seen in their defense.
Let me explain: a lot of people with certain disabilities (such as autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and C-PTSD) deal with something called emotion dysregulation, which means that you feel emotions more intensely than the average person and that this strong emotional state sticks around for far longer than it should. When you have emotional regulation issues, an event that might make somebody else a bit sad or mildly frustrated has the ability to put you out of commission for hours or even an entire day. Emotion dysregulation is very stigmatized, even in people who go out of their way to avoid harming people or lashing out while dealing with an episode. People with this specific issue are often told that they are “dramatic”, “attention seeking”, or “future abusers” for what amounts to an automatic emotional response that a person cannot control. This constant pushback forms a metaphorical blister that can easily be popped back open when you see anything that reminds you of what caused it in the first place.
Now, let’s move on to the Jedi. While it can be argued that their teachings were intended to instruct people to reign in their BEHAVIOR as a result of their emotions, several lines in the fist six movies sound an awful lot like they are condemning having negative emotions at all. Yoda literally tells both Luke and Anakin that emotions like fear and anger BY THEMSELVES are of the Dark Side, and these lines were very difficult for a lot of people who have dealt with trauma, neurodivergence, or other issues that cause “big emotions”. These lines, intentionally or not, mirror a lot of the things that real people have said to those of us dealing with emotion dysregulation, and people have every right to talk about this in their own spaces unmolested.
Some of the defenses of the Jedi in the context of how they are instructed to deal with their emotions come off as dismissive at best and ableist at worst. Yes, if you dig through Star Wars canon enough, you can find portrayals of the Jedi and emotions that point to a more nuanced view where choices and actions are the source of evil rather than the emotions, but this does not change the fact that the Yoda lines and other emotionally repressive applications of the Jedi Code very much exist in parts of canon. A person who found the emotionally repressive variant of Jedi teachings to be upsetting due to a disability will likely feel as though you are trying to dismiss their feelings and belittle them if you “correct” them for “misinterpretation of the Jedi”. I get that it sucks to see people bash your blorbos, but if someone is doing it because they are dealing with something IRL like trauma or ableism, then it’s best not to engage and just let that person work through it.
I have also seen people who are defending the Jedi make statements that outright attack people for having intense emotions. I remember a take that basically said that you were a baby or a psychopath if you found the Jedi code regarding emotions to be “too hard”. I’ve seen people dismiss the trauma that Anakin went through and its possible effect on how he reacted to some aspects of the Jedi order in a way that mirrors the invalidation that those of us with emotional regulation issues have experienced for being “too much” for all of our lives. Yes, it is important to avoid harming others when you are in a bad place, and no Anakin was not a great person, but so many of these takes are devoid enough of nuance that they read as if they are just trashing people who have “too many”emotions.
Feel free to defend your favorite characters all that you would like, but please spare a thought for those of us who might not dig everything about them for reasons connected to disability and trauma. The Jedi aren’t real, but we very much are.
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daz4i · 1 year
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oh wait i did promise a full dazai and nikolai comparison post didn’t i. time to deliver. no keep reading button, we’re clogging everyone’s dashboards like men. enjoy
clowning
so. i doubt i need to elaborate much on nikolai’s clowning - it’s very plainly put in the text, he along with other characters constantly call him a clown, and he obviously takes on a clown persona.
nikolai’s method of clowning is to take it to the extreme - everything he says sounds like a joke or pure nonsense, making you doubt everything that comes out of his mouth immediately, even when he’s saying the truth.
dazai’s is only slightly more subtle. i’m basing this on no longer human, given that so much of his character is based on yozo. dazai puts on a mask of a carefree, funny, lazy guy, especially to the agency, just like yozo does
his method of clowning is to seem genuine. pepper in just enough truth to make others believe him. seem reliable enough to make others trust him. but never showing his full self, so you should doubt everything he says
ultimately, the same outcome, done with different methods
so, we all agree they both do it. now, let’s analyze why. dazai’s is more obvious imo, so let’s start with him. 
with the agency specifically, it makes sense, gotta appear nonthreatening n all, seem like a normal guy with absolutely no past in the mafia (at least at first). i’d also say it can be used to make his enemies underestimate him - no one expects the goofy silly guy to pull a knife on them, after all, and you definitely don’t expect him to be a mastermind.
on a deeper level, if we go back to the yozo train of thought, it’s also to protect himself. no one can leave you, hurt the deeper parts of your soul, attack you personally if they can’t figure out who you are. no one can get close enough to matter to you then get taken away, the way oda was.
nikolai’s reasoning is less grounded in canon or external works (that i know of), so feel free to disagree with that part (with any part of this post tbh.) but in my interpretation, he does it for multiple reasons:
same as dazai, not letting anyone close enough to get him to care. nikolai sees bonds as something chaining him down - he cares about fyodor and sees him as a friend, and that’s why he wants to kill him. if you see him, he will care about you, and he can’t have that. better to have the self inflicted cage of a mask than have the key in someone else’s hands, if you wanna be poetic about it.
chaos! a lot of what nikolai does is to subvert expectations, be illogical, to prove the existence of his free will. nothing more chaotic than a clown
to contrast dazai, rather than make his enemies underestimate him, nikolai’s intention is to make his teammates underestimate him. he’s trying to throw their suspicions off him - oh, he defied the plan fyodor set up? well, can’t blame him, he always does silly shit like that. look how crazy that guy is, obviously he can’t follow orders - so he can freely do what he wants and only have them catch up way later.
already, we see a lot of similarities, as well as opposites-within-the-same-action. let’s continue
death
tldr: both are supposedly willing to die, yet still avoid death.
dazai sure managed to survive a lot of suicide attempts, huh! weird how all of his on screen attempts - especially since oda’s death - have been using methods that are easily to survive, like drowning. that’s so strange guys i wonder why’s that (psst i wrote a whole post just about that already)
and nikolai sure did give a dramatic speech about how dying will set him free, very convincing! weird that he faked his death, then. hmmm.
granted, nikolai’s speech might’ve been The Page’s work, but tbf it does align with his views on this topic so i’d like to believe there was some truth there, just like there’s some truth in dazai’s suicide attempts - yes, they want to die, but... there’s more to be done first.
both of them seem to hold a high value in the act of dying, and both see it as being set free. both feel trapped in their own life - nikolai outright says so, that he feels caged inside his own head, and if you dig into dazai’s character song you see him describe life as a “never-ending today”. both see death as salvation from their situation, but won’t get down to achieving it.
this is actually a good place to transition to our next topic,
meaning
since i mentioned dazai’s character song, one thing he seems to focus on there is looking for meaning, or rather being frustrated that he hasn’t found one yet (he also brings up this internal conflict in the dark era, but the song solidifies it as relevant even in his current state). dazai tries so hard to find meaning, but can’t.
nikolai’s fixation on free will, i’d argue, is not quite a search for meaning, but rather a struggle to prove there is no greater meaning in life, in order to ease his own guilt. none of his murders matter at the end of the day... right? then why does he still feel this way?
ironically, both can find meaning in their bonds - dazai has many at this point, with oda being the main one he might’ve found meaning in before, and nikolai has fyodor - but this is scary. they’re not used to having meaning, to caring. and so we circle back to the clowning, to pushing people away, to wanting to kill fyodor, to the comfort and familiarity of no meaning. 
guilt
like onions and ogres, clowns have layers. bear with me here.
on the surface, you’d expect them both to feel guilt for their horrendous acts. peel a layer, and it seems neither of them particularly does, otherwise they would stop doing it, you’d assume. peel back another layer, and... honestly, i think they do, but are just repressing it.
this is smth i get less from the text and more from their real life counterparts, tbh. going back to the yozo comparisons, he does outright say “i’ve lived a life filled with guilt” which. is very fair to expect to hear from our dazai. meanwhile the real life gogol straight up died because of his guilt. i don’t think asagiri would overlook stuff like that when turning them into characters.
nikolai also does outright tell atsushi he feels guilty for the atrocities he committed - though, pretends he didn’t mean it immediately after, putting back one of those layers we tried to peel.
going back to dazai’s song, it’s the “the tainted past, too, begone!” line that i feel is nodding to it. dazai obviously knows the things he’s done while in the mafia are wrong, seems like he knew while being in the mafia as well given his conversations with oda during the dark era. but this really does make it seem like he regrets it, imo.
they’re both repressing their guilt for the same reason they won’t die. there’s more important shit going on. dazai outright tells atsushi that wallowing in guilt is pointless, and we see him move forward and execute plans even if he’s still feeling guilty throughout, and even when he needs to do some dirty work to make them happen. nikolai is the same in that regard - he’s just hyperfocused on this goal of proving his free will, and guilt is another thing that’s keeping him caged, so he must break free from it. wallowing in it will simply be counterproductive.
sorry i gotta talk abt fyodor now
but it’s gonna be short i promise
so we’ve got this all knowing, unbeatable, super smart guy, right? anyway what if the only people we see outsmart him were 2 suicidal clowns. wouldn’t that be funny
so, it’s a bit tricky to call it “outsmarting” with dazai considering how their whole Thing is give and take that’s not going to end any time soon, but fyodor obviously views him as someone on his level so i’m counting that. he wouldn’t put this much effort into someone he didn’t think was less smart than him. and, he calls him a worthy chess opponent for a reason
nikolai did outsmart him, though. nikolai was supposed to die. nikolai wasn’t meant to survive the plan, let alone come to meursault and put fyodor in a death game when he could’ve escaped using the vampiric guard he planted in the prison instead. nikolai is throwing an unpredictable wrench in the plan of the guy who knows how everything is gonna turn out because humans are so predictable.
clearly they both affect him a lot, more than we see others have. both of them are the only ones so far we’ve seen get on the same level as fyodor
and, both of them are seen by fyodor. nikolai explicitly says fyodor is the only person who sees him, and dazai is seen because they are the same, on a certain level. fyodor understands them, which is why it’s even more impressive that they can outsmart him, imo
in conclusion
asagiri i am on my knees begging. make them interact properly please please please
fr tho, i’m curious if this means something. because this is a huge amount of similarities, especially when they’re not really related in any way and barely ever talked. does it mean anything?? how about nikolai being able to use his ability on dazai, does that mean anything????? asagiri please give me some answers i am asking so nicely
anyway. thank you for reading! lmk if i missed anything, or reblog with your own additions and analysis. if you disagree with anything i said, feel free to express that as well, just be respectful. hope i managed to infect you with my brainrot as well. have a great day :3!
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tmntxthings · 1 year
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So I may be having some trouble at school and I was wondering if Gn! Reader could try and get some help in math from Donnie? (Or all if this is a HC situation.)
either way, just reader begging Dee or the others for some help and being super duper grateful when their grade goes up?
Mathematically Inclined
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author’s note: I personally hate math, I’m an English major, I went as far away from math as possible, would’ve been nice to have Donnie help me out in statistics last semester T-T
warnings: cursing, fluff :D
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It was the end of the world. You had t-minus two days until your big exam. And it was comprehensive of every single chapter you had to learn that semester. And you had went through a lot of chapters, twelve, but who’s counting right?
You had your notes and you had previous chapter exams and even homework to go over. But it wasn’t clicking, and you were starting to feel DOOMED. Holding back a dramatic sob and thinking of how tragic your transcript would look with a big fat ‘F’ for college algebra. You decided you needed help. Normally, you’d just suffer in silence, you weren’t the type to rely on others. In fact, you were very proud to have gotten this far on your own. If this had been any other subject you’d have it in the bag. But it was math.
“Donnie please I need your help,” you said into your phone. “With what exactly?” Donnie asked, currently he was working on multiple things. He hadn’t left his lab in days, he hadn’t even answered your first call! “I’ve got this really big test and it’s make or break time. If I fail this I’m getting an F.” If Donnie couldn’t teach you then you just didn’t know what else to do. Studying on your own wasn’t going well. It was too late to schedule for tutoring. You waited with bated breath for Donnie’s answer, “when’s the exam?” it wasn’t an answer but at least it wasn’t a straight up rejection!
“Two days!” You whimpered, “please Dee, please please please help me!” You were resorting to begging for pete’s sake! You heard a long sigh, “alright but you have to come here, bring some energy drinks.” And the nerd hung up in your face.
You couldn’t believe it. He said yes?! You were scrambling to get all of your things in your backpack. Thankfully you had the drinks already in your fridge, your roommate liked to stay up late gaming when they didn’t have school work to do. “Borrowing a couple of these I’ll get you more!” You called over your shoulder as you raced out of the door. Heading for the lair but specifically to Donnie.
You had an energy drink in your hand, giving it to Donnie as soon as you passed through the lab doors. And boy did he need it! His eyes looked so strained like he hadn’t slept for days! “Dee what’s up?” You asked, concerned for your friends health. “Just been busy, can’t afford to sleep right now, I’m so close to finishing its maddening.” The purple turtle sighed as he looked over your notes.
“What seems to be your issue? I mean everything you have written down is correct,” it was your turn to sigh. “Yeah well that’s just it, I’m never the one doing the problems I’ve been using the internet for homework…” you grumbled, more than embarrassed to admit your faults. “So, you’ve been cheating?” Donnie raised an eyebrow. “I mean is it really?! Everything so far has been online, I’m just using the resources I have available. And now the last test is in person?! It seriously blows!!” You huffed at the end of your rant, only to see that Donnie was smirking.
“So you don’t know how to do any of this yourself and you want me to teach you a semesters worth of work in less than two days?” The way he put it, it sounded impossible! You slouched over, elbows on your knees, hands to your face. “So it’s hopeless?” You mumbled. The last bit of hope you had finally draining. “I didn’t say that, just wanted to clarify,” you peeked out of your hands to see Donnie had a small smile on his face. You wondered if he thought this was funny. You swallowed your irritation, latching onto the last spark of hope.
“Alright let’s do this.” You said, determination written on your face. You cracked open your own drink and took a long swig then with a pencil in hand you waited for instructions. “Start with this, x raised to the 5th…”
The whole first day was pretty rough. It was nonstop problems. Going from the basics of chapter one and building your way back up. By the end of the day you had a solid piece of foundation and at least knew how to start tackling the problems from chapter one to five. “How about a break, we could both use a nap, we’ll pick up where we left off,” Donnie was yawning and he stood stretching out his legs and arms. You leaned back in your swivel chair, “sounds good to me,” you said tiredly as your eyes instantly closed. You’d fall asleep right there in one of his lab chairs.
“C’mon you goof, you’ll hurt yourself sleeping there.” You blinked drowsily, not wanting to move but forcing yourself to get up, following his lead as he led you to a couch in the back of his lab. “Wake me up in an hour,” you mumbled sleepily as you curled up on one end of the couch. Donnie shook his head, throwing a purple blanket over you and going to the other end. He scrolled through his phone for about five minutes before setting a timer and falling asleep too.
The snooze button was hit a couple of times as the both of you grumbled at the rude awakening an hour later. “5 more minutes!” You pleaded and Donnie who was more tired than you readily agreed. 15 minutes later your eyes were widening as you sat up from your spot on the couch. “Shit shit shit! Donnie we gotta go back to studying!” You said and he was jumping up from his position, “mhm yeah I’m awake!” he yawned as he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around himself, walking back over to where your notes were on his table.
“Alright… where were we.. oh yeah!~” Genius Donnie was back into the swing of things before you were fully seated. The rest of the studying became a blur. Truly you didn’t even know if you would be able to remember it all but you got through all the material with Donnie’s help, all 12 fucking chapters. “Anddd that’s about it!” Donnie said tapping the white board he had brought over to write the equations out with you. He had learned quickly you were a visual learner. “With four hours to spare,” you practically weeped as you looked down at your phone. “3 hour nap and then I’ll head there,” your words were slurred from sleep deprivation. Honestly you didn’t know how Donnie could function without sleeping for days on end.
“Back to the couch!” He said half dragging you there as your feet stumbled multiple times. Both of you collapsed onto the couch. “Thanks Donnie, really I appreciate it,” you murmured, snuggling into his side and falling asleep faster than he could reply. If he wasn’t so tired himself he’d be pushing you away, he couldn’t even find himself to be embarrassed, “geez,” was all he could say, closing his eyes as he felt his cheeks rise in heat. Thank god you were already passed out, he didn’t know what he would do if you had seen him blushing! He tried to ignore the feeling of your cheek pressed against his plastron, or how your hair was so soft. He was speaking a mantra in his head just wishing to fall asleep along with you, it took a couple of minutes but he finally did.
You woke up with a start. Something felt wrong and you gasped, waking up Donnie who had his head resting on top of yours. “Wha- what’s wrong?!” He said rubbing his eyes to clear the blurriness. “What time is it?!” You said scrambling for your phone but it wasn’t on the couch. Donnie raised his wrist tech, “you’ve got 30 minutes,” he breathed out and you were running to your things. “Oh my god, I’ve gotta go, thanks again Donnie, see ya later, wish me luck!” And you were out of his lab door, like a whirlwind. “Good luck,” he said even though you were already gone, and he smiled, hoping you’d get a decent grade so you could be happy and get some sleep.
Three hours later you burst into the lab, “HEY-“ Donnie had started to yell thinking it was one of his dumb dumb brothers but stopped once he saw it was you. “Oh Y/n? How’d it go?” He placed down the tech parts he was working on. Removing his gloves and wiping his brow, turning to face you. You had tears in your eyes! “Y/n?” He said softly, and you ran forward lunging for him. “Oomph-“ he was more than surprised thinking you’d be mad if you were crying but he felt you squeeze his torso. “I knew what I was doing!! I’m pretty certain I made a bangin’ grade! Definitely a C+ if not a B!!” You squealed happily as he felt the happy tears pour down your face.
He sighed with relief, thankful that was the reason for the tears. “That’s great to hear Y/n,” he was happy for you. “Thank you so much Donnie, you’re the best!! You’re my hero!” You said your face tilting upwards to look at him with shiny eyes. He gulped, not knowing what to say and feeling overwhelmed and more than a little sheepish at the compliments. “Ah- well- you’re welcome,” he managed to get out. “Do you wanna celebrate with me?? I’ll get anything! Your favorites!” You beamed up at him, still holding him tightly. He couldn’t stop himself, he couldn’t hold it back any longer. His face flushed a dark green and he nodded. More than happy to get his favorite pizza to celebrate your success. “Yeah sure,” he said trying to seem unfazed even though his face felt hot.
You giggled, a slight blush coloring the top of your ears. “I’m on it then!” Your hands slowly letting him go as you turned your back to order the pizza. Donatello’s hands hadn’t moved from his sides but he was clenching them into fists now, resisting the urge to pull you back to him. Oh Galileo was he screwed! He blew out a breath, doing it anyway, pulling your back to meet his plastron as he rested his chin on your head. Trying to act like this was totally normal, he hummed looking down at where you were at with the online order. “Get some cheese sticks too,” he mumbled and you were turning red as you relaxed into his hold, “s-sure!”
Maybe math wasn’t so bad after all… you thought to yourself, especially if you got to study with such a cute genius! You clicked order and closed your phone, moving your head to look upwards as he lifted his chin off of your head to be able to peer down at you. “I think I like math now..” you said a little dumbfounded. Donnie couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter, holding you tightly to him, you were just too cute. “I don’t know, I think I like something else,” Donnie smirked after his laughing subsided, he noticed your burning ears and bit down on his lower lip, thinking you were absolutely adorable.
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My Personal Ranking For the Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films of 2023
I got to watch these shorts in a local theater yesterday, and it was quite a spectacular time.  
Note: I am not ranking these based on the quality of the film, but based on how much I personally liked the film.  There is definitely a difference.  I have come to terms with the fact that I sometimes don’t personally like media that is Objectively Good, and sometimes get unfortunately invested in things that are questionable quality.
With that out of the way, let’s delve in.
1. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse
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I, too, am surprised that this was my favorite of the short films. Dare I say, I feel a bit basic.  Perhaps I’ll hang up a Live, Laugh, Love sign next.
I’m especially surprised, because I actually have more critiques regarding it than I do with other short films that I liked less. Specifically, the dialogue could sound like platitudes, which is a pet peeve of mine with any media.
But it’s absolutely beautiful.  It’s among the most beautiful animation I’ve ever seen, and seeing it on the big screen was nothing short of an emotional experience.  
The animation and designs made me love each character, and made the dialogue -- which, in a less beautiful film, might have been enough to put me off liking it -- feel heartfelt.  I can’t praise the creative team behind this film enough for the manner in which they brought these characters to life.  The voice performances are also commendable.
Perhaps most importantly, it put me in touch with my inner child.  Wizard of Oz, Jungle Book, James and the Giant Peach, Spirited Away, Kubo -- there is a timeless impulse among children, it would seem, to be befriended and loved by benevolent talking animals or fantastical creatures.
It is perhaps because of my inner child that I love this film so much. My childhood self might have been oblivious to the beautifully simplistic depth of Ice Merchants, the blink-and-you-miss-it beats that make The Flying Sailor so meaningful, bewildered by My Year of Dicks, and existentially terrified by An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake, but my desire for a big white talking horsey is timeless and powerful.
Where to watch it: Apple TV+
2. My Year of Dicks
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This one is just. So unspeakably funny.  And, despite the fact that I’m a raging Sapphic who’s never been interested in the dicks available to me, I found it intensely relatable.
This may be a controversial statement, but I find that mainstream Hollywood’s attempts to nail down the Female Gaze are often more obnoxious than the Male Gaze itself.  Partially because it often revolves around what male executives think The Modern Woman(TM) finds appealing, rather than an actual understanding of the female experience.  The Male Gaze, at the very least, feels somewhat organic and based in the personal experience of the filmmakers. 
This -- this felt like the Female Gaze.  A truly organic trip through the psychology, impulses, and emotions of a fifteen-year-old girl.  It treated its female protagonist not as unknowable, but as relatable, with the five unpleasant male characters she was approaching as Other -- each in five wildly entertaining ways.  And it was glorious.
The way the main character dramatized her experiences -- making full use of the animated world in which she lived -- was something I could relate to viscerally.  I’m reluctant to mention anything else about the plot, as I truly encourage everyone to just experience it firsthand.  It’s heartfelt, exquisitely ‘90s, and a beautiful animated tribute to teenhood and questionable decisions.
Where to watch it: Vimeo, Hulu
3. Ice Merchants
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Such a beautiful and emotional experience.  I would say that this film demonstrates that less is more, but really, it demonstrates that the illusion of less is more.  In reality, this film is teaming with detail, from the beautifully textured ice and misty landscape below, to the subtle indications of the characters’ recently experienced loss.
I was so entranced by the visual beauty and surrealist elements of this film, it took me a while to grasp its actual storyline: subtle clues, presented by a yellow mug, indicate the loss of the ice merchant’s wife and the mother of his son, and the cold world in which they live comes to represent their grief.
Without giving much away, the film ends with a view of a spring landscape, representing the eventual thaw of this grief as father and son begin to heal.  
Where to watch: YouTube
4.  The Flying Sailor
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This beautiful and strange animation is based off of a true story, in which a sailor was flung 2 kilometers (1.2 miles) by the Halifax explosion in 1917, and lived to tell about it.
This film is essentially the sailor’s life flashing before his eyes as he soars, naked, over the exploding landscape. We get to know his character through the blink-and-you-miss-it moments that we witness of his life.
My favorite moment of the film was when he lights a cigarette at the same instant a ship in the harbor (unbeknownst to him, full of dynamite) catches fire. His -- and our -- quiet shock as we realize what we’re looking at is haunting.  He even steps on the match, as if in a subconscious effort to put out the blaze, just as the contents of the ship explodes and nearly ends his life.
Where to watch it: YouTube
5.  An Ostrich Told Me The World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It
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Just because I rank this film last doesn’t mean it isn’t good.  It’s incredibly good, and an inventive way to portray a character’s existential crisis through a stop-motion medium.
Ultimately, this is a story about a man realizing how meaningless his life has become while working at an unfulfilling office job.  But that makes the film sound way more mundane than it actually is.  The way in which this existential crisis is portrayed is through the main character realizing that he and his fellow workers are all stop-motion puppets, after he is visited by the titular ostrich.
And I do like it a great deal, but the reason for it subjectively ranking below the other films is the simple fact that the other films left me with a more positive emotional feeling.  This one...is kind of terrifying.
I wonder if the director was inspired by the 1965 stop motion The Hand, in which a gloved human hand is used as a source of horror in the world of a stop motion puppet.  In a similar manner, human hands look uncanny in this film when contrasted with the main character and his puppet world.
Anyway, go watch it and have an existential crisis of your own.  I recommend it.
Where to watch it: Vimeo
Have you seen the animated shorts? Let me know your personal ranking!
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haechanhues · 1 year
Text
KPOP FIC RECS
So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.
This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii
PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE
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1. @hyuckiebabie - Bad Intentions | NCT (discontinued) 
Of course, I have to start with this. I have to. I’ve also just learnt that author-nim has since left tumblr. But the writing was beautiful and the connection that Haechan and the MC had with each other was absolutely alluring. God I felt things I have never felt before. This was quite awhile ago and I’m kind of sad I can’t reread it to boost my memory a bit more but I was super excited for every update. But aww I wish you could all read it even though it was discontinued, it still remains very memorable for me. 
2.  @beom1e​ - Love Is Not Easy | TXT (completed)
The fic that made me obsess over TXT fics for a very large portion of the year. I read it again and it’s so chaotic and erratic in the best way. I love these boys with all my heart and it was so fun to be able to read it and connect to it. There were different endings that were all really fun. The very first time I was a very big Yeonjun supporter but nowadays I feel a more Beomgyu lean. Hmm, I don’t know. So many options. Can’t forget about Soobin either. The best kind of crossroad ever. 
3. @dovechim - That’s Okay That’s Love | BTS (ongoing)
No because I’m frustrated my original comments about this didn’t save. I remember reading this and it was the first time I had read something involving mental health so blatantly and it just felt oddly satisfying. What I liked the most about this fic however was the way that every character was interwoven within the story without the sole purpose of their existence to be a ‘friend’ to the main character and give advice and put some sense into them nor to invoke drama. I liked that they each have their own story and plot and it’s so majestically done that I always have to applaud this story for it.
4. @jayflrt - The A List | ENHYPEN (one-shot) 
Ahhh yes, I finally get to talk about this. This was one of the first ENHYPEN fics I read and it definitely helped me stan them to the level I did. I love the ....friendship between the MC and Jay. I love the taste of the whole fic in general - the rich people shit and the drama and the need to just not be made into a total loser by an anonymous source. I’m not even being dramatic but this fic has a taste and it’s absolutely fucking wonderful I’m salivating. 
5. @fantasybangtan​ - Queen Cobra | BTS (ongoing) 
One of my utmost favourite writers on Tumblr and in general. I love this story with all my heart and it made me a total * girl. This fic always manages to have a hook on me in more ways than one and I was so excited to see that a chapter has been updated since I last read it. I hope to god you never stop writing. Ever. Such a talented person and a very special one at that. I sound a bit like teachers comments in student reports and I’m sorry. But I hope you feel how sincere I am in my recommendations to read this fic. You have to. Absolute art. 
6.  @caramellohigh - Not Such A Good Boy | THE BOYZ (ongoing) 
This is my favourite depiction of Juyeon, like ever. I remember seeing three times before I actually read it. First it popped up in my dash just randomly, then it was recommended (not specifically to me) but I had been wanting to read a few fics. I thank whatever higher power exists for this fic. I can’t explain myself but like it’s so good. I love the whole golden sweet nice sunshine boy being this person who isn’t actually all that sunny and saintly trope. I don’t know the proper name for it but I loved this. I can’t wait for more chapters such an exciting fic, I couldn’t put this fic down for the life of me. I had a lot to do today but I didn’t do it because I was reading this hahaha best decision ever. 
7. @theluckyyyoneee​ - Antipode | EXO (completed) 
OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THERE’S AN UPDATED CHAPTER, I’M GOING TO READ IT NOW. Okay okay I’m going back to writing normally so I don’t look like an idiot, but I love this fic with all my heart. So so warm. I love that Chanyeol is just a literal puppy throughout the fic. God I hope to see this couple again. In any way. I’ll take it. I remember I first read this when Chanyeol went to the military and reading the final chapter when he’s back literally feels like all is right with the world. I adore this couple. And with the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, this story smells of pine and appears like Christmas lights in the night and I think that’s the cutest fucking thing. 
8. @jungblue - Future Hearts | BTS (ongoing) 
I’ll be honest, before I came to Tumblr I always ignored recommendations for fan fics - simply because I had different tastes to the person giving the recs (they were a bit too much for me) and I just liked that fan fics were just my terrain to freely explore the fics available without in some form being attached to someone else (i was going through some shit obviously). Then this fic showed up and I took a chance on it. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I fell in love with writing all over again. I thought of colours differently. Everything. was just so different. I was super invested in the story. I would say it became so definitive of the person I was at eighteen, when life started changing. So thank you author-nim. From your forever fan <3 I hope all is well with you, you deserve the whole world y’know. 
9. @sankyeom - Break Your Rules | THE BOYZ (completed)  
Okay okay so, I love Sunwoo with my whole heart and one of my favourite tropes is brother’s best friend (disclaimer : it reflects to my life in no shape, way or form but we love a good ol’ forbidden love without the death involved) I first read this on my other account and it’s always one I seek out if I want a little thrill and a happy ending. Also the side characters are so fucking funny, I loved reading them. This fic is the treat your aunty tells you she shouldn’t be giving you but does anyway and you love her with your whole heart. So wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. 
10. @chittapornswife​ - DYNL Club | NCT (ongoing) 
A fic I’m forever fond of, I think. I always used to read this whenever I would go to class and it would keep me from having panic attacks. It would always leave me feeling fluffy and energised enough to get through an hour (or longer) class (and it wasn’t like the class was terrible, it just made me anxious.) I always link this fic to good things, or at least like it’s a bridge from being less than okay to recovery which is kind of ironic considering the content. It also has Haechan in it, which I’m thankful for. This story helped build my love for him in a way, I think. I’m truly grateful. 
11. @desayunho​ - Time Of Love | ATEEZ (completed) 
Oh my god it was a struggle deciding what fic to use but I decided on this one. It’s so beautiful. Oh my god I loved it. I read ‘Lovefool’ before this one and just knew that I had to hop on this train too. Lovefool blew me away and I knew it would happen with this one too. Absolutely after my own heart. I’m not one for poly fics (not against them either, I just don’t normally read them) but AHHH I’m screaming. The dynamic. The everything. This fic is everything. Thank you and good night. I love San and Wooyoung and ATEEZ AND author-nim, a special place in my heart is reserved for you and your artistry. 
12. @ballelino - Wedding Season | STRAY KIDS (completed) 
With the risk of sounding absolutely delusional, this fic helped me well and truly realise that I am never ever going to move on from Lee Minho. Like ever. The fic left me feeling very vulnerable but well protected? I don’t know how to form words but...  Everything was just perfect. Truly a foundation. It’s a fic I want to read for the first time again for the feelings I felt and the sensations I was going through. Truly a magical ride. I’m not even being sappy - this is me being totally brutally honest. I loved it for lack of better words. You know that question that goes ‘If the words ‘I love you’ didn’t exist what would you use?’...This fic. That’s it. My new love language. 
13. @thepixelelf - Hood | THE BOYZ (completed) 
This was well and truly a rollercoaster.. god I could remember it. I was on the edge of my seat every update. I loved the whole friendship and the back and forth. Ever since that first chapter it has been a favourite of mine and has remained one of my favourites since then. Also it was literally a year spent together with a fic and I don’t know why but this makes me feel more attached and feel more love for this fic even more. It’s beautiful and it’s literally like cuddling a teddy bear. I don’t know how else to describe it. If I could hug any fic it would be this one. Cause it deserves everyone’s high praises and I want someone to experience reading this fic to experience it and just tell me what they thought and we can go nuts over it. 
14. @seokjinsdisciple - Who’s Your Daddy | ATEEZ (ongoing) 
What a rollercoaster of events. These ATEEZ fics (not even just this one) has a special place in my heart but I’m here to talk about this one in particular. It’s so incredibly cute and angsty at the same time. Anything you ask for in a fic, you get it practically. It’s everything. It gives me everything. It gives me life. Seventeen chapters in and I've already tried finding a wizard to turn me into a puddle on the floor because I can’t cope. It’s absolutely brilliant. Ahhhh- also one of the authors to open the new door for me in terms of social media aus. I never thought I’d be into them but I really am and a large part is due to author-nim so thank you for this medium of storytelling and doing such a good job every single time. No misses. 
15. @aspenwritesstuff - Prove Me Wrong | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 
HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE THIS. I can’t even remember how I came to read it but I remember reading it and being so hooked the very first chapter. I am also extremely affectionate of you, Aspen. This story and everything about it. I love it. It’s cute and fucking interesting and I’m just so hooked and excited I cannot wait to see how the rest of the story pans out. Like truly amazing. I’m going nuts over just thinking about it. Absolutely wonderful and just truly cute. I don’t know what else to say but it’s so cute. So fucking cute. Ahhhh. Just screaming and yelling and hollering at this point. LIKE YEAH THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW EXCITED I CAN BE. Can’t wait, Aspen, honestly (take ur time tho <3) 
16. @gyukult​ - We Don’t Usually Hold Hands | SEVENTEEN (one-shot) 
So usually whenever I read Mingyu books I’m used to player Mingyu or sugar daddy esque-Mingyu who’s very cool. I’m not hating it. I still most likely would read it. But I never knew how much I needed a fic where I could actually see Mingyu in it and I think it’s perfect. I fell in love with this fic at first read and I think it’s actually changed the trajectory of my life forever. I’m not even being remotely funny. It really has. I don’t know - I loved the humour, I love just how casual the romance was. Like it felt so natural and just so Mingyu I don’t know what else to say without rambling. I feel like this fic is especially for those who don’t necessarily believe in romantic love, for those who do and in love with the idea of love and just everyone in between. So everyone basically. It’s a necessity. 
17. @kyufiber​ - How To Be A Heartbreaker | THE BOYZ (completed) 
God, I love this fic so much I don’t know what else to tell you. This is an Eric fic but it felt like more than just that. I’m a Sunwoo girl, have been from the very first video I saw of these guys but everyone just-. Let me tell you how PERFECT this fic is. It went exactly the way I wanted it but every update was a blessing and a gift. Like...is this music? No but I’m honestly always starstruck by this fic. I have no way of formulating proper sentences, it’s amazing. It’s so good. It’s so good. It’s honestly- GOD, especially if you’re an Eric person. This is for you. For all of you actually - read it! I’m begging with my whole chest, my whole soul, everything about me that is me - read it. 
18. @starrgaziinggg​ - Friends With Benefits | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 
I can’t remember exactly remember the 6 W’s of how, where, when I found this fic. But all I remember is that it was a god send during my Minho phase (that is still in fact going, don’t get me wrong). Every new update is so fucking fun for me and definitely has me all up in there. I love this version of Minho. It’s one of my favourites. Absolutely. This fic has been a newfound love of mine and I’ve enjoyed falling in love with it every single chapter and I know that won’t ever change. I’m a bit speechless I don’t know what to say, currently I’m looking at it and I’m so excited to talk about it but all I am right now is a blubbering mess that can’t string two words together to make a single sentence. But I really appreciate this fic and I can’t wait for more updates! <3 
19. @wooyunhwa​ - Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction | ATEEZ (ongoing) 
Although it’s been a couple of years since the last update, I am still going to praise and praise this fic as if it’s my sole purpose in life. I love the way the characters are and how there’s a whole world away from everyone else - as if its just the three of them in this demon vs angel love affair. Don’t even get me started on the writing - it’s so beautiful, detailed and I love how humour is incorporated into it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It surprised me so much in such little but significant ways that I think sets apart this fic from others like it. Truly. 
20. @yeow6n - boyfriend!haechan tiktok series | NCT (ongoing) 
Ahhh my current go-to Haechan fic writer. God, I’m in love. Have you ever felt a connection with someone you haven’t talked to or anything but because you share that one thing you’re in it for life? This is it my friends. This. Every fic I’ve read is a love of mine and I’m so excited to write about it. They’re usually short and sharp but incredibly sweet and it just- it makes loving Donghyuck easier. Honestly author-nim came in at the right time and totally swept me off my feet. In love with it. In love with him. Stan author-nim for good Haechan content. Honestly I feel like calling you bestie which is one hundred percent out of character for me so I won’t - but I just want to let you know that the temptation was there and it was a strong one! 
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almostoreghano · 11 months
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Edgar Allan Poe NSFW Alphabet (U - Z)
NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!! MDNI!!
TW/CW: sex, teasing, poe being loud, bottom!poe, top!reader, begging, sex drive, brief mention of Poe posing for you, body worship, brief mention of Poe in a skirt (again)
Note: so ends the NSFW alphabet, this was a lot of fun and it got me to write two drabbles about two of the letters. I’ll try to put together a master list so they’re easy to find including the Fluff Alphabet.
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U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Poe has his bursts of confidence throughout the day. During these times, if you flirt with him, he’ll flirt right back. He has a tone that he speaks in when he’s being flirty, and it’s to die for 😔 Poe uses that sing-song voice that makes your knees weak. Bonus points if he’s working and not reacting the way he usually does to your antics. That being said, he’s not very good at teasing or egging you on. Typically you’d be the one teasing him.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Poe is a very loud moaner. His moans are usually high pitch depending on how worked up he is. But his noise level is typically why you guys opt out of having sex in risky places. Depending on how tired he is, his moans become more breathy.
His whimpers are otherworldly and it’s a blessing that it doesn’t take much to coax a cute little noise or two out of him.
As mentioned in a previous post, Poe begs—before you even tell him to, a string of pleas and moans echo around your bedroom.
Poe whines if you don’t give him what he wants. Yes, even Poe can be bratty in bed. He might not make demands, but sometimes he still has half a mind to be a little more playful in the moment. Regardless of whether he’s feeling bratty or not, expect a lot of whines if you keep teasing him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I said this in the previous post but Poe purchased a skirt specifically to model in front of you.
If you’re an artist that does live nude model drawing sessions, Poe is more than willing to pose for you, he might get turned on from you looking at him. It’s like an internal battle because he knows now isn’t the time but he gets excited being posed in front of you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Poe’s waist and thighs are the most beautiful things in existence and he loves when you pay special attention to them.
But in all seriousness, he’s mostly thin, and his back is slightly hunched due to never sitting properly while he writes. It’s something he’s insecure about but can’t break the habit of slouching.
Even though he’s thin, he has light muscle but not much because he so busy at his desk. (The most exercise he gets is when he takes Karl for a walk or when he visits Ranpo)
He has moles around his body
He probably has a 6 inch, and was a blushing mess when you took your time to admire it the first time you had sex.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Poe’s sex drive isn’t very high, but that can fluctuate depending on the week. But He doesn’t like going to long without sex with you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Poe falls asleep as soon as you’re finished. If you can keep him awake long enough, he appreciates it when you take a hot bath afterwards. If you’re to tired to move but he has the energy, he’ll get the bath ready, and bring a glass of cold water (maybe some snacks to feed to each other cause he’s a huge nerd).
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I love the middle picture he’s so dramatic
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lovelyinspiration1463 · 5 months
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Loki S2 E3 Spoilers Ahead!
My thoughts while watching the episode for the first time:
Is that him as a kid?
I considered for a hot second that Loki might be that horse.
There is never a moment too dire for Mobius to grab a snack, and I relate to that on a deep and personal level.
Boy, Marvel will do anything to plaster their name on screen as much as possible.
*science mumbo jumbo*
I think this variant has gotten himself electrocuted one too many times. 
I wouldn’t be standing right in front of that, my dude.
Well, yeah, now he’s giving off more ‘take over the world’ vibes. Proper Frankenstein over here.
Prototype? Yeah, no kidding. That thing let off a few bright sparks and then just died.
Mustache guy looked so scandalized, I can’t  😭😭😭
“Hornswoggler”? That is my new favorite word.
Is that an offer or a threat? Sounds more like a threat.
Where can I get myself a guy who will pass out money at the snap of my fingers???
I know it’s loud in there, but is no one else hearing the talking purse?
Nice cover, Mobius.
Oop. Old hornswoggler is back and wants a refund. I’m shocked. The machine looked so impressive just… fizzling the way that it did.
This has very quickly become a Charlie Chaplin sketch.
Okay, first of all, Mullet Hair, can you chill??? Killing the same dude over and over and over again is not gonna secure free will for people! Can we discuss? For even just a millisecond?! Are we able to think through our actions?
He ruined your life? Listen here, Sylvie; while you’ve been living it up at McDonalds, the universe has been falling apart! Think outside yourself for two seconds!
His face! 💀💀💀
Are these two seriously having a moment? Cease and desist immediately.
“A long time ago-“ in a galaxy far, far away. No, wait; wrong franchise.
That’s your biggest takeaway? Seriously?
“Rat bags”? Mustache Man is just full of zingers!
Did Loki literally just run in a circle??
Ooh, Miss Minutes is a bit snappy. She really wants everyone to know how clever she is.
Oh my gosh, they are not cramming another slapdash love story into the show 😫 I do not care about this! I came here to see Loki! Every second he’s not on screen, a little part of me dies…
Miss Minutes in the background: 😞
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
I have a feeling Renslayer is suddenly gonna be much more amenable to joining Loki and Mobius now.
All those mannequins are so creepy. 
A Rolodex? That’s his life’s work?
Okay… this just got weird on so many levels. 
OKAY THIS JUST GOT SUPER WEIRD! 🚩‼️🚨 IF SHE POSSESSES ONE OF THOSE MANNEQUINS I AM SO OUTTA HERE
🎶 People always told me, be careful of what you do, don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. And mother always told me, be careful of who you love.  And be careful of what you do, ‘cause the lie becomes the truth - hey hey!🎶
Dude, how did she even get here?
*dramatic entrance at the perfect time*
Mobius, look at her! I don’t think Ravonna is in the best headspace rn.
How many people are gonna barge in here??? Does he have any security at all? Even a single lock?
Also, are we really doing this again? This episode is bloated with will they/won’t they moments. It’s a “won’t” from me. I’ve decided.
The hair! 😍💯
So is Loki just gonna lie there and watch, or…?
So everyone gets free will but him? How do you know he won’t make better choices? He can’t be the one singular person in all of existence that is fated to be something specific!
Okay now I’m starting to feel a little bad for him.
“I can make my own choices.” That’s what I’m saying!
Who put Sylvie in charge? I’m sorry, but last time I checked, Loki doesn’t answer to you!
Seriously? You’re just abandoning her there??? Murder was a bad thing two seconds ago and now you’re both chill about it?
Aww, poor Sylvie. She really is the greatest victim in all this. How dare she be forced to decide to obsess over something 🙄
Yeah, I’m not sure sticking the two of them together is a good idea. I mean technically he’s dead, but what has that ever meant in the MCU?
Oooh, never mind - he’s dead dead. …Well, even so. Loki’s come back from worse.
Can any of these characters just pick a side?! Stop betraying each other so often; I can’t keep up! Who’s working with who???
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em-writes-too-much · 2 years
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Too Close to Love?
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Eddie Munson has been my best friend as long as I can remember. Well actually I can remember, it was right after my seventh birthday and my parents had just split up. My dad and I ended up moving to the same trailer park as Eddie and his uncle.
Even at nine years old, he was sporting a band tee and his infamous head of curly hair. 
Not only have we been friends since that day, I’ve also been in love with him for just as long. Now flash forward ten years, both seniors, well me for the first time, Eddie for the third.
Some say we’re too close, that someone like me shouldn't be with a “Freak” like him. But nothing they say could change our friendship. 
And here I am like every other night, laying on Eddie’s bed with a joint in my hand listening to him strumming away at his guitar. 
“I like that. Is it something new?” I asked, never hearing those specific chords put together. “No, no, nothing Corroded Coffin worthy... too sweet sounding. For your ears only” He laughed.
“Aw, so does this mean you’re finally writing me a love song?” I only half-joked, laughing to make sure he understood. He laughed again, placing his guitar down and getting up from his desk chair.
“Anything for you sweetheart” He jokingly flirts, trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach when he says it. He jumped onto the bed next to where I was sitting and pulled me down with him. 
His arms wrapped around my neck holding me close to him. He quickly grabs the joint still between my fingers and takes a drag. I can feel his breath on my neck and I can’t help but shiver a little inside at the feeling.
“Are you staying here tonight?” He asked. It was a dumb question, he knows I always stay here. Never going home when my dad was away, which was a lot. “Why? You trying to kick me out Munson?” I giggle next to him.
“Well what if I told you I had a hot date coming over” He said nonchalantly. My breath hitched a little in my throat and I could only laugh. “I would say that you’re lying” I quickly snap back through my forced laugh. 
He throws himself off the bed in the most theatrical manner. And with his most dramatic voice says “Oh, you wound me Y/N” Pulling an imaginary knife out of his back. This time my laugh is back to being genuine.
Eddie can always make me laugh, that’s what I love most about him. So when I look back up to him from my place on the bed, I look up to him like he’s the only person in the world. And for a second it seems like he looks back at me in the same way.
He sits down next to me once again, me laying on my back looking to him. He places his hand on the side of my face, stroking my cheek and pushing a piece of hair out of the way. I can almost feel him leaning down to me, like his lips are trying to connect to mine in some unconscious way.
I prop myself up and just before we’re close enough, I hear the radio start a very familiar song. And just like that Eddie is on his feet to turn it up. Disappointment creeps into me as he gets entranced in his favorite song.
He comes over and offers his hand, wanting to dance. And of course, I accept. We move together like we always do, stepping on each others feet, Eddie spinning me over and over and us staring into the others eyes.
I believe that if you were watching from afar, seeing us dancing and laughing through the night, you too would believe we were in love.
And maybe it’ll always be one sided, but tonight I ask the question again... Are we too close to love?
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eldritch-araneae · 2 years
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SPARKPULSE X: SPIRE OF THE WORLD
Summary: It is time to take back the most valuable cybertronian artifacts, AllSpark and Vector Sigma. Will it be as easy as it sounds? Journey to the Spire to find out!
Content warning for blood and violence.
Bumblebee's spark chimes in pride, looking at the result of his and Windblade's work.
Their room still looks chaotic, but now it's controlled chaos. He placed essential things such as stimulants on Windblade's eyesight, while other items he organized in logical and easy-to-remember ways.
The last thing is decorating. Despite moving away soon, it's a good thing to make the place they occupy more welcome and cozy. His room was empty and sad as if reflecting his loneliness. Now he's not alone anymore. Their place looks alive, and glow-in-dark stars will make it more exciting.
Windblade is sitting on their bed, organizing her notes regarding their investigation. She's making a list of information they need to lookup in Optimus' archives. A random thought just occurred and she can't help her curiosity.
"So, despite the seal, occasionally, you can remember things," she says, recalling his descriptions of feelings and images in rare cases after he wakes up. "I wonder if it's because of the sheer scope of memory locking the seal must perform?"
"You mean?" Bumblebee asks as he sticks another star on the wall by their bed.
"Like any flexible material. The more you stretch, the thinner it gets to the point it becomes see-through. You possess an incredible amount of memory cells, and trying to block all of them makes the seal worse at its job." Windblade pauses, thinking this through. "Meanwhile, mine covers only a few cells and I don't get any random recollections about possible contents..."
"That feels oddly specific..."
"Indeed."
A star peeled off the ceiling and fell onto Bumblebee, conveniently sticking to his forehead. Windblade lifts her head to see his adorable face and bursts into laughter. "This star looks very cute on you! Have you considered updating your paint job?"
He stares at her for a few seconds before he takes a star from a sticker sheet and sticks it to Windblade's nose. In response, she takes another sheet with a mischievous expression, peels a star, and sticks it to his right cheek. Then he puts another to her arm and her inner gremlin has been awoken.
In the next second, datapads were forgotten as Windblade chased Bumblebee around the room, sticking as many glow-in-dark stars on him as she could. He fought back bravely,  he even landed several stars on her. Bumblebee thought he could win this until he ran out of stars. Windblade holds her last sticker with a devious grin and walks to him slowly.
"You'll never catch me!" Bumblebee dramatically swings his arm to the side, opens the door, and runs out. Windblade immediately bolts after him.
The chase in the corridors continued for several minutes, confusing everyone who accidentally came across. But the minibot always being just out of reach. Windblade decided to end this quickly, as she had one advantage over Bumblebee - she can fly.
"You're finished!" she exclaimed as she used her thrusters to launch herself at him.
Unfortunately, a door on the left has opened, and Prowl stepped into the corridor without checking it first. So Windblade's hand with the star collides with the second-in-command's forehead instead. The loud clank noise echoes through the base, followed by Prowl falling onto the floor unconscious.
Bumblebee stops and turns around to see what happened, and his confused expression met Windblade's shocked one. After silently exchanging looks, they did the most logical thing - take the fallen bot and bring her to medbay.
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Ratchet saw many things in life and knows better than anyone how chaotic Autobots can be. So many bots came to him with the most random and ridiculous injuries. Yet each day brings him more surprises.
Seeing two Autobots, one of which isn't known for mischief, covered from head to feet in star stickers, carry unconscious Prowl with the sticker on her head, sends the medic into the endless spiral of "HOW?!"s. No shenanigans before this moment have prepared him for this.
After making sure that the second-in-command's life isn't in danger, Ratchet turns to the squirming duo. Seeing his piercing gaze, both raised their hands in their defense.
"It was an accident, I swear!" they said in unison while trying to not laugh.
"Bumblebee, you're a bad influence," Ratchet says with a sigh, crossing his arms.
"Me? Noooo, I'm not influencing anyone! Just enabling~" the yellow minibot sings songs while trying to appear as innocent as possible. Ratchet sighs again. No one can resist Bumblebee's adorable face, and he knows it. Much to his annoyance, the medic noticed Windblade being more social since Bumblebee appeared and it's a good thing.
"Fine. Windblade, try to hold your amica back at least for a week? I need a break." Ratchet huffs, motioning towards the door.
"I will!" she takes Bumblebee's arm and both flee the medbay before the medic changes his mind.
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By the dawn, Bumblebee finished tidying their room, and Windblade finished her list. Both are satisfied with their results.
"What's amica by the way?" he asks as he plops into the bed with an energon snack in his mouth. "It sounds familiar, but I can't put my finger on it."
"Amica Endura," Windblade says, studying his expression in case it rings any bells. Seeing it didn't, she continues. "It's a name for one's platonic partner, very similar to Conjunx Endura - the romantic equivalent. The ceremony involves partners exposing their sparks to each other while saying amica vows."
Bumblebee smiles, imagining the ceremony in his mind. It feels incredibly special, and it warms his spark. Then his smile widens. "So, Ratchet assumed we did the ceremony?"
"Not only him, and I can't blame them, considering we are sharing the same room." Windblade settles next to Bumblebee with an adorable giggle. "Chromia thought you're my conjux, but you know me - not feeling the romantic attraction."
"Yes, me too! Romance? I don't know them, nope!". They laugh lightly in solidarity.
Bumblebee leans onto Windblade's side, relaxing as he thinks more about it. It feels nice to belong, to be loved... does he really belong, though? There is only one way to find out before his mind will fabricate the wrong assumption.
He inhales deeply, mastering his courage, before asking. "Do you consider me to be your Amica Endura, by the way? Like, for real?"
"Yeah," Windblade replies so casually, like it was the most obvious fact. Then realization caught up with her. "Yes! Absolutely! You make my life much brighter and fulfilled. With you around, I can just be myself, and I can actually talk to people outside of my profession! Seriously, I had no idea how to interact with anyone, and you do it so easily. And it's just fun, and you're so gentle and I feel safe and content and, well, anything."
She stopped when she saw Bumblebee's expression changed, staring at her with wide optics. He looks like he's about to cry. She got worried that she said something wrong, but he suddenly asked, "Really? Am I so important to you?"
"Bee," Windblade says his name with such tenderness as it was the softest thing in the world and tightly embraces. He returns it, feeling like he's about to melt. "What about you?"
"I feel the same. When I'm losing myself, you're my only anchor. You remind me I don't have to be alone anymore. That I deserve... love?" he looks up at her, seeing a smile of approval. She says this a lot, and Bumblebee is slowly accepting it.
They rest together in silence, just taking in each other's presence. After thinking about it more, he said, "I want to do the ceremony.". He was excited for a moment before he remembered one crucial detail. "But how am I gonna expose my spark if I can't open my spark chamber?"
"We don't have to follow the exact canons. I can open my spark and this will be enough." Windblade says, reassuring him.
"But that means only I get your light, but you won't get mine. That doesn't seem fair..." Bumblebee grumbles, thinking of the ways to fix the situation. "Oh, can we do it in my mindscape? I can imagine my spark opening for you if you're okay with this."
"You're so sweet, Bumblebee." Windblade gives him a warm smile. "We gotta try this, I bet no one tried this before!"
A call from Jazz came to their commlinks, interrupting them. They exchange looks before Bumblebee replies first, "Yeah?"
"Hey, Bee, there is a situation by the Stronghold gates. We need you and Windblade here." Jazz says calmly. There is something in their voice, but it's hard to decipher.
Both mechs looked at each other in confusion before Windblade nodded to him. "Alright, we'll be there in a few minutes."
-----------
Bumblebee and Windblade arrived at the gate to see the Autobot High Command and a bunch of Decepticons, including Clobber, Lockdown, Cyclonus, and Thundercracker. They saw Prowl was being okay, feeling relieved. Noticing her looking at them, they quietly approached her.
"I'm sorry," Windblade whispers the apology, making sure she's not disturbing the conversation between Optimus and Decepticons. "I will be more careful next time."
"Me too." Bumblebee adds as well.
Prowl nods. "Apology accepted. Now, step forward, your expertise is required," she says, motioning with her optics towards the group.
"As you can see, we got an interesting development." Jazz turns to them. "They want to join us, so it would be great to get an insight from you two."
Clobber notices both mechs come in and waves at them. "May I speak to you?"
Autobots exchange their looks, then Optimus Prime nods. The duo walks up to her.
"The reason we're here is that Shadowlurker appeared in my dream several days ago. We talked about Megatron's actions and agreed it won't end well for all of us. He told me you're leaving the planet soon and offered me to join. I took those who are sharing the point of view and sneak out of Kaon." Clobber explains calmly.
All Autobots, including Bumblebee, look surprised upon hearing it. Not because he offered help, but because only Windblade was known for her ability to dive into other mechs dreams. The minibot hums, trying to remember anything from the last sleep cycles.
"Can you confirm?" Prowl asks Bumblebee, going straight to the point.
The minibot doesn't know what to say, so he examines the group's sparks first. He feels like Clobber is genuine, others seem nervous. Out of fear that Autobots will deny them, or because they are trying to infiltrate and scared to be caught too early?
But there is no underlying malice though, and those who are present didn't fight Autobots a lot in the past. He knows well that Clobber and Lockdown are pretty much harmless. And she left her second-in-command post long ago.
Thundercracker always appears to be distracted on the battlefield, like his mind occupied by something else entirely. So he's usually put at defense or guard duties.
Cyclonus was never seen fighting them at all. He heard some rumors from Decepticons that he sneaks out during the battle, but no one knows where or why. Though now to think about it, Tailgate is also mysteriously absent at the same time.
Overall, letting them in doesn't seem like a bad idea to him. But he still needs to answer Prowl's question.
"I cannot tell, as I rarely remember anything from my dreams. But I had a persistent feeling that someone must arrive soon." Bumblebee shrugs. There is nothing else he can say about it.
"Ah, that's right. You warned me about this too. So you asked me to talk to Windblade." Clobber looks at the red VTOL jet. Then she looks back at Bumblebee with curious optic. "I wonder why you looked like a Seeker thought."
"Probably because your mind shaped him like this to protect your psyche," Windblade suggests, still puzzled about Bumblebee's abilities. "I can confirm my friend can't remember dreams. Unless someone else was in it with him, no one would know what the dream was about."
"Is it possible for someone to reach one's dream at such a great distance? Kaon is on the other side of Cybertron." Prowl points out. "As far as I know, Windblade needs to near pull this off."
Everyone went silent, trying to remember any similar examples from the past to confirm or deny.
"I'm not sure, but maybe it's something I can do with Spark Telepathy? My ESPER seems to be attuned to the subconscious as a whole." Bumblebee theorizes, feeling this could be possible. This sounds fun! "It appears to be on the opposite side of the spectrum from Mind Telepathy. Windblade, we have to test this later. I'm very curious!"
"Hm, that makes sense. And we definitely gonna test this! "Windblade smiles, sharing the excitement with Bumblebee." It took a lot of training for me to master entering one's dreams. It's not the same as entering one's mindscape, because my abilities are attuned to conscious by default."
"One can sense thoughts and another feels our sparks. You're a very interesting duo." Cyclonus spoke up. "You can scan me if you want. Got nothing to hide."
"I know about your situation, Cyclonus, so I don't have questions for you," Optimus spoke, which earned some confusion coming from Prowl and Jazz. "I'll tell you later."
"I don't mind being scanned," Thundercracker says, relaxing again at the gate door. "I'm sure you will appreciate my movie ideas!"
"Your ideas are surely interesting, with all drama and interpersonal relationships." Windblade grins at Thundercracker's surprised expression, followed by the blush. She hit the nail on the head. "As far as I can tell, they are all clear."
"Yeah, same from me." Bumblebee replies. "I think it's safe to let them in."
Prowl and Jazz both nod in agreement. Optimus turns to Clobber. "Do you know if anyone else is planning to join us, but hesitating?"
"Slipstream wanted to come." Clobber says. "But something stopped her at the last minute. She looked incredibly stressed and stormed off somewhere. But she said she might come later."
Bumblebee frowns. "I hope she's okay."
As the first rays of sunlight breached the horizon, everyone went inside the Stronghold. The group is following Prowl to finish the integration process. Bumblebee was thinking about one thing and decided it was the right time to ask.
"Since we're leaving, we must take the AllSpark and Vector Sigma with us. And because there are fewer Decepticons left, it shouldn't be hard to do, right?" he looks at Optimus Prime.
"It depends, we need more intel around the location." the leader replies. "Clobber, how tight is security around the Spire?"
"Not really," she says, surprising everyone once again, even other Decepticons. "When Megatron run out of resources to forge more Cybertronians for his cause, he abandoned the building. Save for a few patrols to deploy occasionally."
"That's strange. Why would Megatron neglect to keep two powerful artifacts safe?" Windblade was the first to question it.
"I asked him the same question, but he never gave me a straight answer. 'There is no need.' he said." Clobber replies, looking as confused as anyone else.
"He either believes we won't come after it.... or there is something else we don't know." Prowl thinks it thought. "There must be a trap of sorts, and he's sure it can stop us."
"Perhaps I can sneak in and survey first, and if possible, take the AllSpark and Vector Sigma." Bumblebee proposes, hoping that the High Command will allow this.
"Sending you alone? Absolutely not." Optimus Prime denied firmly, but he has other idea. "But I agree with the plan, it just needs more people."
"Alright, it's getting late for us nocturnals, so you guys go finish the thing. "Jazz stretches as he walks towards his quarters. "Tonight I will assemble anyone. Clobber, Windblade, and Bumblebee, your present will be necessary."
-----------
After several days of brainstorming and planning, the Autobots came up with a relatively safe course of action. They arrived at the center of Vos at dusk to set it in motion. Bumblebee, Jazz, and Windblade are sneaking towards the Spire, while Optimus with his backup army is staying on alert in case of attack. Blaster is monitoring any signal activity while his cassettes are patrolling the area.
It's quiet right now. Too quiet, especially for a place containing two of the most valuable cybertronian artifacts. Bumblebee's group made it to the building with no issues.
"Strange... we made it so far, yet not a peep from Decepticon communication." Jazz checks all radio signals. "Do you sense anyone?"
"No. As if we're just exploring another abandoned area on this planet." Bumblebee shakes his head.
"Same. I sense nothing except our own groups." Windblade frowns, finding this situation suspicious as well. "We have to stay alert."
"We will." Jazz agrees, while staring at the main entrance of the Spire. "That would be a bad idea to get in through the front door. It's a good place to set up traps. I wonder if we can find an alternative way in."
The trio looked around to find any possible entrances until Windblade pointed up at the wall on the opposite side of the building.
"What's up with this wall?" Jazz looks at her curiously.
"I think..." she didn't finish the sentence as she slips her fingers into a hidden socket on the side that isn't visible from a usual angle. Then she clicked a tiny switch and the portion of the wall moved backward and rolled to the side, revealing a secret entry.
"Whoah, a secret door! That's so cool! How did you know about this?" Jazz exclaims as their inner explorer has awoken.
"That's a good question. I wasn't even thinking about it, but seems like my neurowire system recognized it." Windblade says, feeling both surprised... and nostalgic?
"It looks familiar." Bumblebee ads as something in his locked memory has stirred. "I think I passed by this door when I came into being."
Jazz looked at both of them, not sure what to make out of this yet... aside from the fact that both have been here.
In Bumblebee's case, it made sense. He was created here. This is how he avoided being captured by Decepticons. Windblade thought? She was forged on Caminus right before the destruction of the Reef Hotspot. How would she know this? Before diving into digesting this thought, Windblade called for them to follow her.
The group has entered the abandoned tunnel. It's too dark even for three nocturnals to see, so Bumblebee turns headlights on his shoulders on. Windblade, following her intuition, is leading them through twists and turns left by the other ancient civilization. The walls are covered in spiraling patterns.
"To think that Quitessons would build this." Jazz comments as they observed the surroundings. "They weren't the type of making secret passages, given their hive-minded nature."
"Perhaps they knew that eventually the enslaved cybertronians will rise against them, so they build a passage as an escape route," Bumblebee says, with hints of animosity and dismay in his voice.
"That's very possible, but seems like it didn't help them much," Windblade said as she stopped, looking down at something. Jazz and Bumblebee walked closer and saw the entire floor was littered with heavily rusted quitesson armor.
"Okay, so they took it during the Spire assault... and something happened. These walls look old, but I don't see any signs of a fight." Jazz says as their spark speeds up from light anxiety. "That's creepy. I hope we won't fall the same fate."
"Don't worry about it," Bumblebee said calmly, staring at Quintesson remains with deep underlined hatred. But at the same time he's growing nervous. "Whatever killed them is not here anymore. I'm sure of it."
"If you say so." Jazz shrugs. "Is this the way, Windblade? Not sure if I want to walk through all of this."
"Yeah, but it shouldn't be long. This corridor should lead us to the elevator." Windblade says. She notices Bumblebee's grim expression, he slightly clutches his chest. "Are you alright? We can rest if you need."
"My spark is acting up. Those remains are stressing me out. Let's keep moving." Bumblebee pulls the medicine out of his subspace compartment and injects it into his left arm. "I'll be okay."
The group proceeds carefully. Windblade was holding Bumblebee's hand, while Jazz placed their hand on his back, soothing his anxiety. Gradually, his spark stabilized when they left this part of the tunnel and stumbled across an old elevator shaft. The doors are broken, and it's pitch black inside. Bumblebee shines his light inside.
"So, the elevator that would take us to the top," Windblade says, inspecting the shaft, staring right into the rubble of the crushed cabin. There is an opening into the shaft they can use to go up. "Welp, looks like we have to climb."
"Alright, good thing I came prepared!" Jazz pulls out their climbing gear from subspace. "Bee, are you well? Do you need help?"
"I think so? I'm not sure." he shrugs. The medicine worked, but he still feels wonky.
"I'll carry you." Windblade picks him up in bridal style, making him yelp in surprise, then laugh.
"Hey, but what about me?" Jazz asks dramatically, adding more to the amusing mood. They turn on their chest headlights and shoot the cable up to climb.
"Do I look like Nyx, who can just throw Optimus over her shoulder like a sack of bolts?" she snickers, while slowly flying up with Bumblebee in her hands, making sure to not leave Jazz behind. "Besides, a little workout will be good for you."
The trio laughs as they continue their ascend. It doesn't take long for them to reach the top. Jazz attaches the next cable to the top panel, letting themself hand in the middle. The metal creaks in protest. They 'shhh' at it.
"So, where is the exit?" Bumblebee looks around to spot the elevator doors.
"Over there." Jazz points to the right." It looks shut, but I think we can pry it open with some gentle persuasion."
"Usually I hear 'gentle persuasion' from Wheeljack when he comes in with explosives," Windblade says, already preparing for the worst.
"Nah, nah, nah! I have the more elegant solution." They shake their head and pull a crowbar from their subspace. Suddenly, the additional weight became too much for the metal panel and it broke from the ceiling.
"Jazz!" both cried out, but fortnightly Bumblebee caught Jazz quickly because he with Windblade were below them at the moment. Unfortunately, Windblade can't carry two mechs at once, her grip on Bumblebee is weakening and they lose height fast.
In the middle of panic and spinning in midair, she grits her teeth and pushes all the strength she has into her engines to fly up. It gave her enough boost to carry them back to the elevator doors, but the momentum made it impossible to stop and the trio crushes right into it. The impact was powerful it break the doors and throw them into the room, creating a lot of noise.
For a few seconds, they lie on the floor before Jazz speaks up. "So much for 'gentle persuasion'... is anyone okay?"
"Yeah." Both mechs replied as they sit up. Bumblebee wanted to say more, but a sudden tapping noise drew his attention. He went still and stared to the left, where he thought the noise came from.
"Bee?" Windblade looks in the same direction as he is. "What's wrong?"
"I think I heard something skedaddling over there." He replies, but can't see anything nor feel any sparks. "Probably nothing."
"I hope so." Jazz stands up, then helps the other two. "At least we got to our destination."
They were standing in a big round room, the Creation Chamber. It's dark as the sun has set, only illuminated by two moons through many ornate windows that are still intact. They walked to the control panels in the center.
"Let's see." Jazz activates it. He listens to any alarms or anything else that potentially might alert Decepticons of their presence. "No alarms, good."
He types several commands to activate the AllSpark chamber and tells it to bring it up. They watch as the cylinder rises from the floor, lowering each layer of security around it, opens up to reveal that the chamber itself... is empty.
"What?!" Jazz was the first to react and runs towards the chamber to check. Windblade and Bumblebee shockingly looked at each other and run after them. They examine the chamber. It looks intact without a sign of damage. Even the pedestal that was used to keep the AllSpark is in good condition and looks like it wasn't used in ages.
"Dear stars, look down!" Windblade points at the bottom of the chamber. This part looks the opposite, slashed with something sharp, revealing a severed electronic system. It's broken beyond repair.
"That's Vector Sigma!" Jazz recognized the destroyed device. "Someone cut it open and took all the crucial components out of it. This is bad!"
Before the group could start panicking, a loud groaning sound from the opposite side of the room made them stand still. Listening closely to what sounds like sloppy shuffling, they slowly withdraw from the chamber and headed back to the elevator shaft. The noise became louder and out of the shadows came out strange-looking cybertronians, surrounding them.
"Decepticons?!" Jazz steps back. "Oi, chill! You guys look really weird as if you are –"
"Dead!" Bumblebee cries out in disbelief. "They have no sparks! This is so wrong!"
Without a warning, one corpse lunges at Bumblebee, grabbing him by the neck. He struggles to get away from it, but without a weapon, he's helpless. Windblade comes to the rescue with her sword and cuts its head off, spilling the red energon all over the floor.
"I don't sense any consciousness in them either!" Windblade steps closer to Bumblebee, ready to cut down anything getting too close to him. "They're just walking shells!"
"What in the world?! Well, in this case," Jazz pulls a giant hammer out of their subspace." I don't have to hold back!" They do three swings around, gaining momentum, then on the fourth they launch themself right into the crowd. The impact scatters it like flies.
"We gotta go!" Windblade takes Bumblebee's arm to push him forward while slashing at the attacking corpses. She misses one, and it grabs her right arm, letting the other jump on her. She fights to free herself while another corpse is about to stab her with an old glaive.
Bumblebee sees it in time and tackles it to the ground. It was enough for it to drop the glaive, allowing him to catch it before it lands and stab back into its chest. At this very moment, something clicked in him. Followed by a surge going through his spark and processor. It's so powerful. Unstoppable. He's on the hunt!
He tightens his grip on the weapon and, with newfound confidence, he pulls it upwards, cutting the corpse in half, raining more of red energon all over himself and the floor. Then he attacks the one holding his friend, wounding its back and allowing Windblade to break herself free. The minibot takes her hand, and they rushed to Jazz. Hundreds of them are crawling out of broken elevator, so they have to escape thorough the main route.
"Let's get out before we get swarmed!" Jazz motions with their hammer to the main elevator. This one still works and Bumblebee hurriedly pushed the ground floor button, closing the doors right before corpses had any change to jump inside. Jazz is contacting Autobots.
"Prime, come in! We're in trouble! Countless dead bodies are after us. So you read me?" they speak fast in panic. "The AllSpark is gone as well!"
"Yes, Jazz! Did you say dead bodies?! And the AllSpark?!" Optimus replies in disbelief, then he shook his head to change his focus. " We're come to aid you immediately!"
The doors open on the ground floor and they run towards the main entrance. Suddenly, a ground bridge near it has activated. The trio stopped in their tracks. "Optimus, is that you?"
"I'm afraid not." A voice spoke from the portal. The mech stepping out of it is Shockwave, accompanied by Ravage and Lazerbeak. "I see you appreciated my efforts to make the dead bodies useful."
Bumblebee's spark flares with unhinged fury, ready to tear the mad scientist apart. "Who do you think you are?!"
"Nice to see you here. Thank you for making my life easier. Now, instead of tracking you, I can finally study your unique physiology." Shockwave charges his weapon on the left arm, fully intending to capture the minibot.
"The only thing you will study is how it feels to die!" Bumblebee vaults himself into the air with the glaive. He lands right in front of the bigger cybertronian and the next swing would decapitate him if he didn't react in time to dodge. Without missing a pulse, the minibot lunges forward, doing one after another.
Shockwave is trying to fight back, but his shots keep missing. Bumblebee's aggressiveness and the weapon's medium-range are not giving him any chances. He didn't expect the weak minibot to go full offense so quickly!
As Bumblebee presses on, he feels more powerful, more in control, more ecstatic! His prey is in front of him, flailing helplessly, desperately trying to evade death. The pleasure he feels is immense. He hasn't felt like this for so long! His scowl turns into a fanged predatory grin, putting Shockwave on the edge.
Jazz and Windblade are watching in awe as Bumblebee barrages Shockwave with attacks, almost forgetting about Decepticon cassettes being there as well. They block any attempts to aid the scientist while sparing a moment to look at the fight.
From the side, their friend looks like he's dancing, swift and elegant, and his dance is proving itself deadly as Bumblebee almost cuts Shockwave's left arm off. The pink energon spills over his face, making him look even more threatening.
In a panic, the scientist used a flash grenade to blind his opponents. Bumblebee shuts his optics for a moment, and by the time he opens them again, Shockwave is nowhere near. He growls in frustration, then Bumblebee caught a spark moving away that belongs to his target. Without delay, immediately he runs after him.
-----------
Bumblebee is running through the ruins, catching up to his target fast. He sees other Decepticons fighting Autobots already! How did Shockwave even know they were here? Did they trigger the alarm in the chaos of fighting dead cybertronians? Or maybe those corpses were the alarm by itself?
He sees Optimus Prime fighting Megatron, the latter being as dramatic as ever.
"I can't believe she would betray me like this!" he yells as he swings hard with his mace at the Autobot leader. "You cunning bastard, sending your little shadow to lead my honest mechs astray!"
"I didn't send anyone." Optimus blocks the attack with the ax, then pushes him away with force. "If your people are leaving you, then maybe it's time for you to think why. You, the one who lost the AllSpark among other things!"
"Lies! You took it!" Megatron jumps at his opponents, making both of them fall and roll down the hill.
Partly Bumblebee wants to help, but Shockwave is so close! If he kills him now, it will make everyone's life easier.
"Not so fast!" someone yelled from the side and the ground shook under his feet. He lost balance and fell. Grunting, he lifts his head and sees two Decepticon cassettes, Frenzy and Rumble.
"Bhawawa, how's the ground taste, bug?" Rumble gleefully stares at Bumblebee as he did a little victory dance.
"Why do we have to protect that cyclopic slagface, anyway?" Frenzy loudly complains as he walks closer to the yellow minibot. "This guy is harmless. Look at him! Combacticons and Razorclaw were just exaggerating."
Bumblebee growls as he slowly gets up. "I have no time for this!"
He turns the glaive and hits Frenzy with the blunt end right below his chest. The blue cassette yelped from surprise and pain, and curled into a ball. Bumblebee hits Rumble in the same fashion, not giving him a chance to react.
It's a known fact in that spot is located the mechanism responsible for transformation, the T-cog. But little people know that hitting this exact spot hard will cause the curling reflex to protect it.
Thus, Bumblebee leaves two groaning mechs behind to resume his pursuit. Unfortunately, the distraction caused by Soundwave's cassettes worked, and the mad scientist is no one where to be found. Bumblebee curses under his breath.
"Bumblebee!" Windblade's voice drew his attention. She transforms and lands by his side, then quickly puts her hands on his shoulders. She looks furious. "You can't just run off like this!"
"But Shockwave–" he was going to defend himself, but immediately got cut off.
"Risking your life isn't worth it!" she scolds him. "Decepticons are pouring from ground bridges. Megatron is full-on destroyer mode! You could have been hurt or worse!"
Bumblebee's spark sank. He didn't hear anything she said. His mind is registering waves of anger and fear directed at him. He stares at her with wide optics. Thoughts are swirling in his mind, telling him that's it, he's done it, that she hates him now, upsetting him more with each round. Those feelings surfaced on his face, stopping her. Windblade realized what she has done.
"Bee, I–" a high-pitched roar accompanied by thrusters rumble interrupted her. Both mechs froze in place, fully knowing who they belonged to.
She was about to pick Bumblebee up and fly away when something crushed in front of them at high speed. The dust settles, revealing the Decepticon second-in-command, Starscream, in his alt-mode.
A combination of jet and dragon. His body is mostly red, with accents of black, white, and gold. The wings look like jet wings with five sharp digits containing an engine between each. His tail is like a flexible spear. His red optics flare with predatory intensity. Elegant, but deadly. He examines them carefully until his optics focus on Bumblebee.
"Tch, Megatron has no respect for me! Sending me after some tiny 'bot!" He hits the ground on his front legs and flickers his tail in frustration.
"You won't take him!" Windblade steps in front of Bumblebee. Starscream laughs and unleashes his roar again. In such close proximity, a dragon's roar causes pain and glitches in all sensors. A perfect weapon to stun the opponent.
"Ah!" Windblade covers her audio sensors, shuts her optics and falls onto one knee.
Bumblebee reacts immediately and jumps in front of her. He swings his glaive and its tip scratches the dragon's face, effectively shutting him up. Starscream yelps in surprise, not expecting a counterattack. He growls at the minibot, and Bumblebee growls back with the matching. Their optics are locked onto each other and the minibot roars at him.
Starscream's optics widen as he realized that tiny Autobot is a dragon in disguise. Sure, he doesn't look like it, but it's impossible to imitate the dragon's roar. The jet dragon rises his guard, knowing well that fighting his own kin isn't a joke. Two dragons spent a few moments growling and roaring in attempt to intimidate the other.
While they were on that, Windblade adjusted to the noise. Somehow, Bumblebee's voice invigorated her instead of stunning, allowing her to assess the situation. Terrified from seeing Bumblebee standing his ground against the fearsome beastformer alone, she immediately joins his side with her sword ready.
Starscream growls upon seeing his tactic didn't work. He lunges his tail at Windblade. Bumblebee jumps in front of her and parries it. The dragon repeats the attack from a different angle, but the minibot's fighting protocols are sharp. He's done this before countless times. Windblade once again was impressed by his glaive-wielding skills.
She seizes the moment, stepping from behind Bumblebee, and charges at the dragon. She swings at his front leg, landing a successful cut on his shoulder. He counter-attacked with his sharp digits, slicing her left wing. She winces in pain, but doesn't lose posture, and attacks him again. Bumblebee helps her with his offense from the other side, forcing Starscream into the air.
"This is it, we gotta go!" Windblade takes Bumblebee's hand and runs. Starscream makes a circle and dives them from above. She sees him coming in time, embraces the minibot, and jumps to the side, conveniently rolling under the rubble. The dragon lost sight of them and begins searching around. The duo takes a small time of respite to figure out how to get out of here.
"Dead end," Bumblebee says as he looks around, hoping to see any passage they can squeeze through.
"So the only way out is to fend Starscream off. I might try to take the fight into the air, while you escape." Windblade moves her wing to see if it's any good. She winces. The pain is terrible.
"No! If you say that risking my life isn't worth it, then the same applies to you!" he aggressively whispers, then he observes Starscream for a minute, looking for potential weaknesses. "If we could damage his wings, he won't fly as much, but it's also his active weapon. His legs look weak, though. I might knock him on the ground while you attack his wings. Aim for joints."
"Understood." Windblade nods reluctantly. She fears for her friend, but she has to put trust him. He knows what he's doing.
Bumblebee jumps out from the cover. He shoots his arm cable to Starscream's side. The motor pulls him at vicious speed and before the dragon could react, Bumblebee deeply cuts both hind legs, breaks the glaive and leave the blade stuck in the left leg.
"GAH! How dare you!" He roars in pain as he lost footing. Then Windblade attacks his wings. She did a few successful cuts on his wings and even landed a deep cut into an engine until the dragon knocked her over with his tail.  
"So you want to be captured a hard way!" Starscream slowly rises onto his feet, glaring at Bumblebee. "Fine! Shockwave wants you alive, but he never mentioned how intact you should be!"
Suddenly, something shot him from behind. Then a few more shots landed in the places where Windblade injured him. He roars in pain and turns to see the intruder. A blue and purple jet assaults him with all the ammunition she has. "Slipstream! You traitor, what is this?!"
She lands in front of him, while Bumblebee helps Windblade to stand up behind her. "You idiot! Shockwave desperately wants this yellow bot and this can't be good for any of us! He already crossed the line with all the undead!"
"Why should I care?!" he raises his wings, trying to intimidate her. It doesn't work well for him, angering Slipstream further.
"Of course, you won't care! It's not your dead orchestra you loved with all your spark is walking around right now." Slipstream sound both in pain and infuriated. "You egotistical piece of slag, you don't care about anyone!"
Something in Starscream snapped, and he lunges the tail-spear at her. Bumblebee pushed her out of the way without hesitation. The spear that would penetrate her abdomen slices his throat, severing a carotid energon line. His energon spews out the wound like a fountain. The drastic change of energon pressure makes him faint on spot. Both Starscream and Slipstream froze in place, clearly not expecting that.
"BEE!" Windblade cries out in terror, and without thinking, she cuts off half the dragon's tail in retaliation. He screams from horrible pain and retreats, not caring about the order anymore.
Windblade falls on her knees in front ofthe motionless Bumblebee. She cries as she sees his almost desaturated form in the pools of pink liquid. It only means one thing - he's dying.
She takes him into her arms, while Slipstream is standing still in shock. Out of desperation, even though she knows it's futile, she tries to cover his injury with her hand to stop more energon from leaking. But instead of pouring pink liquid, she feels crystals under her palm. Her panic is replaced with confusion.
Windblade takes a better look at his throat. A huge cluster of glowing pink crystals effetely closed the wound. It covers his entire neck and even goes over his chest and shoulders. His nanites did the impossible, he's not losing energon anymore. The commotion even woke him up for a brief moment. He groans but doesn't have any strength to move.
"Shhh. That's okay, you're safe." Windblade whimpers softly. "Rest, okay? I'll take you to Ratchet."
The minibot visibly relaxes and falls back to sleep. This horrible moment in sinking in. He almost died. She yelled at him and he almost lost him! No, she can't lose herself right now. He will live, she must bring him home safely. Windblade takes a minute to collect herself and subside her trembling body.
"We should get out of here," Slipstream says, looking to the distance while trying to not freak out herself. "Can you fly?"
Windblade moves her wings, the pain is still bad, but at leaner her nanites fully closed the wound. "No, my wing is injured. I can't carry him by myself by air, so walking is the only option."
"I see..." Slipstream pauses, feeling doubts, but she chases them away. "I can help you carry him in the air. He took the hit for me after all..."
Windblade wants to reject as she is overprotective, but with Starscream being out of commission right now, it's will be safer and quicker to deliver Bumblebee to medics. She nods and stands up with him in her arms. Then she passes the minibot to the taller jet, and both mechs take off.
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Bumblebee wakes up in the medbay, such a sight became so familiar by now.
"There you are," Ratchet says, seeing his patient regain consciousness as he cleans his tools. "You never stop to amaze me."
"Hey." Bumblebee smiles as he feels relief washing over the medic's spark. "Sorry, I keep giving you more work."
"I'm medic, that's what I do. But you gave everyone a big scare this time!" Ratchet was about to chide the minibot out of habit but quickly caught himself. "Though it's not your fault. Still, the fact you survived after your carotid energon line was severed is a miracle."
"My what?!" the minibot immediately went to feel his throat. He finds bandages and a small ping of pain on the right side. His optics widen from realization. It's a swift death and he's still here!
"Yes, you know what it means." Ratchet reaches for a small glass container with pink glowing crystals. He brings it closer to Bumblebee. "Your energon crystallized and closed the wound. Normally it wouldn't be possible because of the sheer pressure the energon will spill out. Yet your nanites reacted incredibly fast. We had a lot of cleaning to do before I could even reach the injury."
Bumblebee stares at crystals in awe. "That's fascinating! My nanites must have an improved crystallization mechanism that activates faster and in vast quantities."
"That's what we thought. So I'm asking your permission to study your nanites and crystals. We might discover something that will help anyone."
"Permission granted." Bumblebee smiles, feeling useful always feels good. Then he frowns a second later. "I'm sorry about the AllSpark and Vector Sigma... I don't know what to do now."
"This is troubling development alone with walking dead situation, but you have nothing apologies for. And this shouldn't be your priority right now. The High Command will figure out what to do while you must focus on recovering. Now, if you don't mind, you have a visitor." Ratchet says as he walks to the door, letting Windblade in. "I'll leave you two alone."
She walks over and sits on the edge of Bumblebee's berth. She reaches for the hug, being mindful of his neck. He lets a small giggle and returns a hug, trying to be careful around her injured wing. They stay in a warm embrace for a while until Windblade breaks the silence.
"I'm so sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have done this." Her voice waverers at the end as tears gather in her optics. "You almost died and to think that could be the last thing--"
"I understand. It was my fault for running away like this. I shouldn't have to make you worry like this!" Bumblebee interrupts her. Before Windblade could protest, he continues. "When I took that weapon in my hand, I felt powerful. Almost invincible. I immediately knew how to use it, so I wanted to finish Shockwave quickly. I completely forgot that you and Jazz were with me."
"Well, your use of glaive was very impressive." She comments as she wipes her tears, and exhales. "You know, let's just forgive each other, but then we stay together on the battlefield from now on," Windblade says as she bumps his forehead with her own. "I believe we should ask Smithing Department to make you a nicer glaive."
"Yeah, alright." Bumblebee smiles, feeling lighter from resolving this conflict. The comfort reminds him of what they talked about before. "Hey... I'm thinking, do you want to do the ceremony? Like, right now?"
"Now? Yeah, you gonna stay in the med bay for a while, so we should hang out in your dream then," she says as settles down his berth comfortably.
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As they planned, Bumblebee and Windblade met in his mindscape. His form is still slowly changing. Now there are four optics on his face and they keep multiplying while his horns branch out, looking like chaotic antlers. Countless whiskers are sprouting from his head and back.
"You look very interesting," Windblade says, walking around him. "Antlers look good on you."
Bumblebee laughs. He doesn't know why it's happening, but Windblade seems intrigued as he is. So it doesn't bother him. Now he must focus on the important part. "So, I just imagine opening my chest and revealing my spark, right?"
"Yep. That's should work," she replies and goes to do it first. Her chest opens, revealing her spark chamber with a brilliant pulsing spark inside. Bumblebee is captivated by the light. It's warm and soft. Windblade smiles at him and nods, encouraging him.
Bumblebee opens his chest, then he opens the protective shell. As it opens slowly the minibot went still with anticipation. But instead of light, darkness poured out of it. His optics widened, then he frowned furiously.
"What is this?!" he throws his hand in frustration. "C'mon, I asked for light!"
"That's unexpected," Windblade says as she stepped closer to take a better look. The darkness is pitch black. It's not possible to see anything behind it. She looks up to see Bumblebee is being so upset that he's about to cry.
'Whoah, whoah, Bee wait, it's not that bad!" she hurries to reassure him. "We still can do the ceremony like this."
"But it's unfair! Why it doesn't work here?!" his voice is shaking, as anger at himself grows even more.
Windblade places her gentle palm on his cheek and lifts his head to face her. "I don't think it's a bad thing. You know that light and darkness belong together. And darkness always attracts the light. Like a black hole!"
This makes Bumblebee snicker. "Really, you gonna pull this on me now?"
"Because this is true! Look how many Decepticons joined us. As if you are the Great Attractor!" Windblade smirks, fully knowing it's gonna work.
"Windblade, please!" he succumbs into a giggling fit. She knows his weakness, the astronomy humor, especially when it has to do something with him.
"Besides, the light shines bright in the dark. You can't argue with physics." She sings songs. Her smile grows wider as he descends into laughing.
"I'm trying to be upset here, and you throw physics at me!?" he tries to sound annoyed, but he barely can speak between laughs.
Both mechs spend severe minutes laughing at the silliness of the situation, coming back and forth at each other. Gradually, they melt into a slow dance, forgetting about vows and the world. His darkness mixes with her light, creating the fabric of the cosmos. The stars chime in pleasant patterns, bringing peace to their souls, and marking their relationship as Amica Endura.
------
Wow, it’s over 8k words, the biggest chapter I made! Now I can focus on Big Bag event. I’m gonna write a big Sparkpulse fic for it <3 What it’s gonna be about? Ohhh you’ll see!~
Thank you for reading, likes and reblogs are appreciated <3
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phanfictioncatalogue · 8 months
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Enemies to Lovers (10) Masterlist
part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine
A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why?
He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.
a theism in evolution (ao3) - Tarredion
Summary: The sungod, Phil, sends letters to Mother Gaia. He puts all his worries into words… even when he himself can't see right through them
Back To Zero (ao3) - intoapuddle
Summary: One weekend, one house, five people, a recent breakup; Dan wasn't exactly thrilled, but he was going to show up for his friend, even if it meant having to share a bed with a stupid guy that sided with the even stupider guy that broke his friend's heart.
it comes in waves (ao3) - sadlybunny
Summary: Dan trembles in his seat. “And- and what shall I call you?”
He moves his thumb to grip at Dan’s chin roughly. “Captain.” His face inches closer. “Or on very special occasions, Captain Lester, sir.”
It’s 1728 in Port Royal, Jamaica. Daniel Howell, the son of Governor Howell, is engaged to be married to a woman he has never met. The night of their betrothal, Daniel is kidnapped by swashbuckling pirate captain, Philip Lester. As Dan learns about pirate life on the Liberty Galley, he discovers things about himself that he never knew before. Maybe he doesn’t want to return to his father, after all.
Kick Me While I'm Down (ao3) - jerseker
Summary: Dan and Phil meet in an adult kickball league. Phil is just there to make friends. Dan is - not.
Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)
Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.
When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.
Oswald (ao3) - philsmeatylegss
Summary: Dan is an asshole, Phil goes through a tragic accident, and this somehow brings them together.
Also Phil owns a pancake restaurant.
Our House (ao3) - sierraadeux
Summary: Enemy is a harsh word. Rival sounds so immature, like Dan’s the star of some teen drama on Netflix. Competition is close, but not quite there.
In simple terms, Dan has a distaste for Phil Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil in their line of business, for some reason that’s beyond Dan. What makes him so amazing anyway?
There’s a reason the network wanted Daniel Howell and Phil Lester for this specific series, and Dan guesses there’s really only one way to find out that answer.
or
And they were co-hosts. Oh my god they were co-hosts.
Redemption Arc (ao3) - philsmeatylegss
Summaries: classic, slightly dramatic rags to riches au
santa pally (santa baby) (ao3) - huphilpuffs
Summary: Phil grabs the first name off the top and hands the pot over. His hands are shaking when he unfolds it and– well fuck.
There, in Mr. Fowler’s familiar print, is written: Dan Howell.
scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion
Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.
An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?
"Seriously?" (ao3) - Tarredion
Summary: Dan and Phil meet while candle shopping and one of them can't help but comment on how obnoxious/boring/etc the scents the other one is picking out are
-
the time Phil met a totally-not-handsome stranger and only sort-of wished they'd never meet again. Tough luck?
Servus Sanesco Sanctimonia (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)
Summary: After Phil casts an unknown spell, he finds himself unable to stay away from his sworn enemy - quite literally.
snowdrops and second chances (ao3) - sierraadeux
Summary: A tale of the prince who set out to rid his kingdom of magic and the healing witch who found him.
strike a deal, kiss my lips (ao3) - natigail
Summary: Witches were the only magical beings capable of binding and controlling demons. It required a complicated ritual and crazy amounts of magic.
It happening on accident was practically unheard of until Phil came along and got tangled up with a snarky and dangerous demon named Dan. Suddenly bound together, Phil must grapple with control over a chaotic demon that wants to strip the skin from his bones.
And maybe strip the clothes off of his body as well.
The Problem With Travelling During The Holidays (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)
Summary: Dan is in a tricky situation, running to catch his connecting flight with no other than his annoying enemy right on his heels. If he could just get on the plane and be away from Lester that would save Christmas.
Luckily for Dan, things don't tend to go his way.
To Dwell on Dreams (ao3) - carltzmann
Summary: "Taking in the whole image, though, it hardly hurt. Watching this perfect version of himself smile and wave and talk to his friends, bathing in success and appreciation, Dan suddenly started to believe that maybe all that was possible, even with the confirmation of a terrifying secret."
Dan and Phil meet at the Mirror of Erised.
you say go fast, i say hold on tight (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent
Summary: He's Phil Lester, small independent bookshop owner, who wears graphic t-shirts and drinks too much coffee. That's it.
Except when it isn't.
In which Phil is sometimes a bookshop owner and sometimes a superhero, and Dan is a villain, of sorts.
Your Crowning Glory (ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy
Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.
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putschki1969 · 1 year
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Hi Puts, seeing you have been busy with work since your return from the Japan trip. Hope you can take good care of yourself with the busy work schedule.
I saw your lately post about Keiko’s new album hasn’t been your taste of music. So I wonder what kind of song genres do you prefer the girls to sing in their solo. What’s your favourite solo songs of the girls?
For myself, I love ballads so Wakana’s solo music genre has always been my cup of tea. But seeing Keiko doing challenges with her alto tone on some many musical genres makes me wanna cheer for her too. Tbh I don’t really dislike her songs maybe becoz I just simply adore her voice. As for Hikaru, since I’m not a great fan of rock anime genres, so I’m not catching up with her latest music. If you have some recommendations of her songs, I’d love to know that too.
Sorry for such a long message. Hope it wasn’t to hard for you to read. Stay well and keep sharing the Kala-love around^_^
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Hello there!
Thank you, I feel like I am slowly getting back into a routine.
I had a huge reply already written for this but then I must have accidentally clicked a stupid shortcut which deleted a huge wall of text from this post T_T Needless to say, I have zero motivation to go through it all again. I apologise in advance if this feels a little rushed, I’ll still try my best.
First of all, no worries, your message is perfectly fine and it's an interesting question. However, I will admit that I always struggle with these types of questions because I lack the necessary expertise to explain my preferences when it comes to certain music genres. I enjoy music solely on an intuitive and emotional level, it either makes me feel something or it doesn't, for the most part I tend to disregard the technical aspects. That’s not to say that I don’t have some basic requirements which determine whether or not I like a piece of music.
Generally speaking, structure is key. Anything that’s too chaotic, directionless or all over the place will make me incredibly antsy. However, music shouldn’t be too monotonous either, I love a good, natural buildup. To really get into the flow of something I need a smooth melody with some motifs thrown into the mix.
I am very attracted to classical and orchestral elements. Symphonic instrumentals, elaborate harmonies, dramatic melodies, operatic vocals, inject it all into my veins. That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate other types of music as well. In fact, I have always had a weakness for 80s and 90s pop but that’s neither here nor there.
Vocal-wise, I gravitate most towards warm, mature and emotionally rich singing voices. I typically find high-pitched and youthful/childlike voices quite annoying.
Having said all that, I can’t really tell you my genre preferences when it comes to the girls. I just want their songs to have a good structure with a somewhat sizeable section that’s pleasing to my ears. Ideally, I would have them use a singing style that highlights their talents and doesn’t make their voice sound too grating. Keiko’s 3rd album accomplishes none of those things which is why I have a bit of an aversion to it. In all honesty, it feels like a big chaotic mess o me.
Just like you I have a strong passion for ballads but I don’t really want them to stick to a specific type of song. Especially considering that many of their solo ballads don’t even appeal to me. 
For example, I am absolutely obsessed with Keiko’s “Toori Ame”, “ I quite enjoy “Inochi no Hana” but I couldn’t care less about songs like “Hitori Janai Kara” or “Revolution”. While Wakana’s debut power ballad “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” hits me right in the feels and her equally enchanting “breathing” gives me goosebumps, the seemingly epic “magic moment” doesn’t do anything for me. Let’s not even talk about her slower pieces like “Nagareboshi” which I simply find too bland. With Hikaru it’s incredibly hard to pick ballads I like because at some point they have all started to sound the same to me but I definitely love her “Kawaisou da yo” and “midnight”.
As for general favourites, here’s a list of all the solo songs I repeatedly listen to (in order of their release):
Wakana:Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni, Kinmokusei, Yakusoku no Yoake, Ai no Hana, Kioku no Hito, Koi wa Itsumo, breathing, 442, Myself, Happy Hello Day, Toki ni wa Mukashi no Hanashi wo, Inochi no Namae, Get Wild Hikaru: Avaricia, yolcu, Fili, 空-Look Ahead, disclose, midnight, Determination, Kawaisou da you, Kanashii Kedamono, Ambient Border Keiko: Inochi no Hana, Nanairo no Finale, Toori Ame, Nobody Knows You, Lost, Yoru no Uso to
Obviously, I can recommend all of these to you. I like some of their other stuff too but these ones I actively seek out
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