Post the current first sentence(s) of your wips!

hiii, okay it was my turn haha, I don't know what the definition of current would be, so I only looked at the ones I wrote in the last few months, these are not really all, but the ones that at least have more development, I have others that are just ideas, but if you want I can upload (?), I have to thank @alestire, since she mentioned me!! haha, if you like any of these ideas TELL ME WHICH one so I know which one to focus on lol

Tattoo Artist!Max & Fashion Student!Charles

Charles should have predicted that Pierre wouldn't give up on the idea so easily, especially when there was such a hopeful and somehow powerful motive behind it.

2. Doctor!Charles & Driver!Max + abo

It was after 04:30 in the afternoon, the Grand Prix sounded on the screen in front of him, if he approached through the window he would see those cars go through the streets of the Principality, but no one would do it in the same way as him, nobody knew those streets like him, perhaps his brother, but no one else, Charles would have liked to attend, to see Arthur at his first home race, to watch the Monaco Grand Prix from the balcony of his apartment, with his family as they had been when they were children, but he was a newly graduated doctor, so he couldn't afford the luxuries of deciding a time or place of work, he would have to settle for that television in front of him and pray to fate that no one needed his services.

3. Charles leaves Ferrari

BREAKING NEWS: New team from the 2023 season.

The brand new @AudiRacing team, owned by the German brand @Audi, has joined Formula 1.

4. fluff that rots teeth + abo

Charles was walking through the Catalan circuit with Pierre next to him, he was aware that Max, Daniel and Lando were close, but there was enough distance that they couldn't hear anything of their conversation.

5. University students + fluff and angst

Charles was lying on the spacious bed in the master bedroom, his classes were killing him, he knew he would have to get up to study for his International Relations exam, his backpack scattered on the dining room table was an indication that he would, he had to, no was far away, his apartment wasn't very big but he could live comfortably there with his boyfriend and his two cats, but he had no intention of getting up, his head was beating in a way that seemed to have a heart there, he was alone since his boyfriend still had two hours of class, so it was time to be miserable alone.

6. second chance + abo

"Max, listen to me, I need you to turn around as slowly and stealthily as possible" Daniel said, looking at something behind his friend.

7. marriage of convenience + heavy emotional hurt/comfort

<<Monaco will no longer be a tax haven.

Prince Albert II of Monaco has chosen to clean up the oasis image...>>

The news had exploded like an atomic bomb inside the paddock.

8. apocalypse + abo

Max was caressing Charles's four-month-pregnant belly, the current three-time world champion was sitting on a sofa with his partner lying on said sofa with the omega's legs on Verstappen's legs, the Dutch alpha did not want his partner to accompany him to the Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi, but the omega had told him that this would be the last grand prix that could accompany him until the baby is born, and as much as Max would have liked to protest, he was right, even if it had been up to the Dutchman he would not have left his home in Monaco and had installed his mother there, brothers, nephews, brothers-in-law, mother-in-law, Daniel along with Michael and Lando with Carlos (and Pierre along with his family also probably at Charles's insistence).

9. Trophy Husband!Charles

“If he were to escape with Pierre and abandon you, I applaud him,” Lado intervened, looking at the Dutch driver.

I like to write abovese, hurt/comfort stuff and extremely long fics. I really think that everyone already did it, it also makes me ashamed @, BUT if you're reading this and you're a writer, I mention you @ writers lestappies it is your opportunity to demonstrate your beautiful talent with your wips, mention me with which it you @@ and that's it haha

iris beauty ❀

40: getting closer

✎ synopsis: falling for a guy is never easy, especially when your best friend of many years basically claimed him; you and mina have been friends for as long as you can remember, but your loyalty and trust are tested when she asks you to pretend to be her in meeting a guy she had been talking to online and you unintentionally start to develop feelings for him.

✎ genre: romance, angst, comedy

✎ pairing: reader x yoon jeonghan

✎ word count: 1.6k+

✎ warnings: suggestive

previous | mlist | next

add your @ here!

a/n: i gotta question.. do you think pet names between couples is cute? cos like me, no lol i mean like the only one i'd accept is "my love" but idk i just don't know (this has nothing to do with the au lmaoo just a thought in pj's little brain)

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2:41

After your overtime shift at the café, you head back to your apartment to grab your textbooks. Finals were approaching, and there is no doubt that you were stressed. You need to, not only pass in your exams, but also excel in all of them to get at least a 3.8 GPA, and this is the only acceptable grade for you if you wanted to get accepted into a medical school.

So, studying has been your number one priority for the past couple of days. You and Vernon, your study buddy, have been in and out of the campus library to do nothing else but study. And that’s where you’re heading again. 

“I’m almost there,” you manage to say, panting, while jogging towards the library where an impatient Vernon was waiting. For what felt like three weeks of jogging, the familiar building finally came in sight. There were countless students, some whose faces you’ve seen before, were making their way in--probably has the same reason as you. With this many students going there to study, you knew there would be competition in getting the tables and booths first, and you mentally scold yourself for arriving late. 

“Can you be any slower?” Vernon rolls his eyes teasingly, earning him a light punch on the shoulder from you. The two of you head in and look for available spots. You checked the first floor, but they were all packed. As well as the second, third and fourth floor. Your legs felt like they were about to fall off, tired and numb from climbing an endless amount of stairs. Not to mention, you were also carrying textbooks that’s equivalent to the weight of three elephants stacked together in your bag, and you say that with no exaggeration.

“There’s one,” he points to an empty desk just by the window. As you are walking, from the side of your eye, you see another group of students pointing at it and making their way. You increase your speed, dragging Vernon behind you, so that you could get there first before they could. Fortunately, just before they got there, you slapped your hand on the table. 

“Scram, freshmans,” you growled and Vernon crosses his arms, smirks. The group of friends roll their eyes before they walk away, and you smile in victory. Some would say your actions were a little immature, especially that comment you made, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Afterwards, you and Vernon take your seats, and start your hours of studying. 

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

9:28

Opening the door to the apartment, you were surprised to see Jeonghan sitting on your couch, watching the television. You walk behind him and snake your hands around his shoulders, wrapping him in a warm hug, and nuzzle your head between his neck. 

“Another long day at the library?” He caresses your hands and you nod in response. “Have you eaten?” he asks. You remove your hands and walk around the couch. You lay down and place your head on his lap. “I can make you something if you want,” he offers. 

“Will you?” you look at him, smiling. You’ve never really imagined Jeonghan cooking before. You don’t even know if he knows how to. But you weren’t going to turn down his generous offer to cook for you, whatever the result may be.

Jeonghan stands up and heads to the kitchen, and you watch him from the couch. He opens the cupboards, takes out the pan and places it on the stove. He then opens the fridge, looking for anything he can cook. To your surprise, he takes out a bag with a logo of your favourite restaurant. 

You cock your head to the side as your eyebrows meet. “I thought you were going to cook for me. That’s take out.” You stated, pointing at the bag he was holding. “I am going to cook. I’m gonna heat it up. That counts,” Jeonghan looks at you and gives you a smile that displays his teeth. Disbelief is all you feel. You scoff at his reply, and feeling too tired to argue, you lay back down. 

Jeonghan has been nothing but supportive these past couple of days. When you and Vernon were at the library, he would drop by to give you two snacks and drinks. Sometimes, like today, he would use the spare keys you gave him to enter your apartment to clean up so you wouldn’t do it when you get home. Embarrassed, you told him to stop cleaning your mess, but he said it wasn’t a big deal and that he didn’t want you to come home to such an unkempt apartment--the unorganized sight causes more stress, he adds.

You were grateful for everything Jeonghan has done, yes. But you can’t help but think of one specific person who used to do the same. Who used to tell you to eat before you go to bed, who reminded you to drink water, who reassured you that you would pass your exams, and who comforted you when things didn’t turn out the way you hoped for. Joshua has never left your mind since he went away. Often, you wondered what he might be doing and where he might be. You’ve had multiple urges to send him a text or ring his phone to check up on him, but you thought he might want some space. You knew he would come back when he’s ready, and you were willing to move on from the past and start anew with him. Gosh, you miss him.

“Mind telling me what’s in that pretty head of yours?” Jeonghan disrupts your thoughts as he walks towards you, holding a plate. He sits down and offers his free hand to help you up. You grab his hand and use your abdominal muscle to sit up. 

He hands you the plate and you take it from him, and immediately, the aroma makes your mouth salivate. “Mhmm,” you murmured, “this looks delicious. Thank you, Han.” 

Your boyfriend nods and urges you to take a bite. So you did. 

“What about you,” you ask after swallowing your first bite. 

“I’m okay, babe. Just eat, hmm?” Jeonghan smiles while reaching his hand to your face to tuck your hair behind your ear. You felt bad that you were the only one eating, so you feed him. At first he refused, but quickly cave in when you pouted. 

The two of you sat on your couch, taking turns to feed each other. Sometimes, he would follow up a bite with a soft peck or two--he called it a quick served dessert. You rolled your eyes at his corny remark, but you couldn’t hide the rosy tint on your cheeks as the blood rushes through them.

Jeonghan absolutely loved spending these little moments with you. No words can ever explain the feelings he gets when he hears your laughter--your smile alone is enough to make his heart melt as if it was ice cream under a fifty degree celsius summer day. He would not exchange this moment for anything else. There is nothing he wants more than to spend time with the person he loves most. 

After your meal, you head to the kitchen and quickly wash the dishes before going back to sit with Jeonghan. You plop yourself beside him and he takes his arm and wraps it around your shoulder. You do the same as you snake both your arms around his waist and rest your head on his chest, where the sound of his heartbeat is clear and audible. You don’t know if you just really love to hear his heart beat because you love him, or if it’s because of your longing profession of becoming a doctor. You think it’s a combination of both. 

“What should we watch?” Jeonghan asks as he flips through shows and movies available on netflix. You shrugged your shoulders and told him you were okay with any. Soon, the two of you settled with Grey’s Anatomy--a show you absolutely loved. Jeonghan was never a fan of medical shows or whatsoever, but if his girl was going to be a doctor, he’ll have to get familiar with some terminologies, right? 

Three episodes have passed and the two of you were still in the same position as before, cuddled on the couch. You were still watching intently, but you were not so sure about Jeonghan though. Not seeing his face, you guess that he probably fell asleep when you guys were just halfway through the first episode. You didn’t mind though. He deserved to rest. 

However, your guess was proven wrong when you suddenly feel his kiss at the top of your head, causing you to giggle. He did it again, and again, and again, each lasting longer than the previous one, and moving lower and lower. Kissing as a form of affection has become a normal thing between the two of you now. But this time, Jeonghan’s kisses feel more than just affection.

Images in your head started popping in, making your heart rate increase and your breathing pattern to change. 

“Yn,” Jeonghan softly whispers to your ears, making your insides churn, “are you okay?”

Fuck it. 

You unwrap your arms from his body and take your hands straight to cup his face, taking him by surprise. You close your eyes and lean in to kiss his lips. He freezes for  ma second but quickly melts right into the kiss. He uses his hands to take hold of your waist and pulls you in front of him. You oblige and place your knees on either side of his lap.

You detach yourself to catch your breath, but your eyes remained closed as you relinquished the taste of his lips. He did the same, but eager to taste your lips once again, he leans in and kisses you, quite roughly this time. He takes his right hand and places it at the back of your neck, guiding you as the two of you made out on your couch. 

“You still have extra clothes here, right?” You ask between your kisses. Jeonghan doesn't respond, and instead kisses you harder. Soon, he trails kisses from your lips to the side if your neck. Whispers escape you lips as you cock your head to the side to give him more room.

This night is going to be long. 

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tags:

@yyxyzti @acciofirewhiskey @doiewonu @shuajeong @wooziverse @boogyuu @rjsmochii @haniehae @twentysixofmays @suhfluffy @dancingddays @lovingyu04 @sydneyy-jade @itsdnguyenxoxo @fluffyhyeju @haoraecane @dy-mglzz @1800zuho @t-secretpot @floweryjeons @yaebbinnie @t-secretpot @not-sojoyuus @xcalicoups @ryuyalana @bubblywonu @youbloominsideofme @lavenonie @wonwoonlight @yoonzinow @mariecoura @juji-han @strawbinnie-shortcake @isa499 @pseudoyop @serenadesvt @glouraeswei @glowingjaehyun @sunflowergyeomie @kunmaid @apricottulips @hao-ling @cheolright @pancakeandfrogs @yanniezx @jeonjungkaka @sunflower-euphro @monstathedisco

unable to tag: @tyongs @jeongjungkaka @jammyjamjamss @hauntedprincessarbiter @scoffingscully

'Broke'

also do you have an angsty one shot in which there is no relationship problems between Ethan and gen (i.e. they should be a couple in it), just general sadness.

The reason I ask is because our uni surprised us with exams dates and they are A LOT sooner than we expected and I need a good cry

If you don't have it don't worry or write one on account of me

You can also light my way towards a good cry fic or movie

Broke “That's not the kind of tired I meant. Have you talked to Ethan since he broke things off?”

Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in.

As for the rest of your ask, I have a couple WIPS but none that are near ready to be posted. BUT I adore you, so I’m gonna give you the super rough draft of one of the 50 ILY prompts that I think falls under what you want. 

But be warned, when I say rough, i mean rough. Like its half actually written and half shit sentences to get my point across before I go back and actually write them lol (under the read more)

She thought she was safe from him. Miles and years away from his taunts and games and tear downs. Never in a million years did Genevieve expect her ex to show up in Boston, Edenbrook no less. Her safe place. 

The darkness of the on-call room does little to ease herI h anxiety, stop the tears from falling and her chest constricting. Her eyes are still trained on the far wall, counting the minutes until her break is over, and she has to return to the demons of her past. 

Ryan Ozwell was the last person she ever expected to see again. Boston is a far cry from UPenn, 

No part of her wanted to tell him about her life and she was doing a fairly decent job at keeping the specifics from him. Until the moment Ryan asked if she was seeing someone. 

The smug, condescending look on his face like an echo from their past. His favorite insults repeating themselves over and over again in her mind. 

You’re worthless

You’re nothing

No one could ever love a piece of second class, backwater trash like you. 

So she gave in, against her better judgement, and told him she was with someone. That they were a doctor at the hospital but nothing more. But that was all he needed to break her down again, laugh in her face at the supposed absurdity that a fellow doctor would find her worthwhile. 

And In the hours between his admission and her later check in, Ryan had somehow figured out that Ethan was the man she was with, and it was like the gates of hell had opened. The fire in his eyes something unearthly, his words dripping with a deadly venom that paralyzed her. 

You’re still trying to date above your worth. 

How can you still be so naive? You really think he loves you? 

You’re a game to him, just like you were with me. Men like us get off on seeing how far we can string the pretty little thing along. 

I bet you only have the position you do because you’re sleeping with him. You were always a good fuck. 

It’s a shame you took that spot from someone who actually deserves it. 

She never showed him that it was getting to her, she kept the emotions at bay until she took her break. And went to an on call room to cry in the dark. 

She hates herself for still being affected by him, almost 9 years after they’d broken up and even after finding Ethan. 

She sees the door open, quickly shutting her eyes to make it look she’s sleeping. She hears the door shut with a soft click, the lock is turned and then slow measured footsteps walking towards her. 

Something in her tells her it’s Ethan and she’s proven right when he sits on the edge of the cot - placing a hand on her back, his fingers lightly caressing her.

Slowly Genevieve opens her eyes, but keeps her gaze trained on the invisible hole she’s been burning into the wall, afraid to see the look on his face. 

Ethan leans forward and wipes a tear from her cheek. His fingers linger on her skin before brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.He returns his hand to her back, running it up and down her spine. she can see him look at her with concern. Gen swallows back tears and reaches for his other hand, holding it tightly, but doesn’t look at him. 

After another moment, Gen takes a deep breath and turns her head to finally look at him. He gives her a reassuring smile, his face still full of concern. 

“I’m fine.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, still hoarse from crying 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Gen.”

“I know that.” 

“Let me help.” 

She starts to tear up again and shakes her head. She bits the corner of her mouth and closes her eyes for a moment then looks back at the floor. 

“Don’t shut me out, Genevieve. Talk to me.” 

She half laughs, looking up at him with a faint smile. 

He leans in closer, placing right hand behind her and the fingers of his left hand brushing through her hair. 

“What did he say to you?” 

“How did you…” 

“I walked by his room and he very loudly yelled that he knew who I was. So I went to check his chart, saw the name and then immediately went to find you.” 

Gen sits up a little and Ethan moves his hand from her hair to her cheek. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that he was your patient? I could’ve gotten you off the case without anyone asking questions.” 

“Because you have enough to worry about. You’re the head of an entire department. Between that and Leland, Terrance and the construction, the last thing you need is a 3rd year resident crying to you about a difficult patient.”

“Genevieve…” Ethan leans forward and presses a loving kiss to her forehead. “You’re not just a resident, you’re my, as much as I hate such a juvenile term, girlfriend. Regardless of what’s going on, or how busy I am, you can always, and should always, come to me with whatever’s troubling you.” Ethan moves back to look into her eyes, “I know we try to keep the line between our work and private lives rather clear, but this is one of those times when that line should be crossed. Ryan Ozwell, isn’t just a random patient who’s being particularly difficult, he’s your borderline abusive ex. You should’ve come to me the minute you got his chart. Not just as a resident but as my girlfriend as well.”  

“You wouldn’t have been mad? I was worried you’d think I was being weak or something.” 

“Oh, I am mad, believe me. I’m irate, but not at you. Do you want me to take you off the case? Just say the word, and I’ll hand it over to a different resident or an intern. Preferably one of the less competent ones. Who’s caused the most trouble this week, it’s been awhile since I’ve given a good shake down.” 

Gen laughs, moving her hand to his chest. She fiddles with the lapel of his white coat, “No, I…” She looks down at her hand before looking back at Ethan, “I need to do this.” 

“You are absolutely certain?” 

“Yes.” She smiles softly, “You don’t need to protect me.” 

“I’m well aware that I don’t need to, Gen. I know you are more than capable of fighting your own battles, but I want to.” He strokes her cheek with his thumb, catching a wayward tear in its path. “Let me be there for you, the way you’ve always been there for me.” 

She nods

“How much time is left on your break?” 

Gen reaches for her phone, “A little over ten minutes.” 

Ethan takes off his coat, and loosens his tie. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Scoot over.” Gen does as he says but starts to cry again when she realizes he’s going to lay on the cot with her. 

Ethan lays down, leaning against the bed frame. Gen immediately wraps herself around him - practically lies on top of him. Her head is on his chest and her arm around his waist. Ethan holds her tightly, their legs tangled together. 

Thinks about how gentle and loving Ethan is, compared to her ex, how her safety and comfort are always his number one priority. How he makes her feel like the most precious thing in the world to him. How safe she feels when she’s in his arms. 

The moment is cut short when the timer on her phone goes off, Gen untangles herself enough to grab it from beside the pillow. She looks at it with a frown then looks at Ethan.

“Breaks over. I should go see if his test results are back. The sooner I figure out what’s wrong with him, the sooner he leaves.”

Gen gets up and stands, Ethan gets up as well. She hesitates, her hands shaking just the slightest bit. He steps forward to kiss her forehead, running his hand down her arm in comfort. 

“I’m coming with you.” 

“Ethan, really, you don’t -” 

“I’d like to see him try and say something while I’m in the room. He so much as looks at you the wrong way and -” 

Gen cuts him off with a kiss, leaning up on her tiptoes and holding his face in her hands. He immediately wraps his arms around her waist, holding her close. Her eyes start to water at his gentleness, never taking more than she offers. She pulls back after a moment, and looks in his eyes. They haven’t said “I love you you” yet but the way he’s looking at her says everything she needs to know. Ethan loves her more than anything. The thought makes more tears settle in her eyes and Ethan takes his hand off her waist to wipe them away. Her eyes flutter close at his touch and she leans up as he leans down, meeting her halfway as their foreheads touch. “I am so incredibly thankful for you, I…” 

“I know. I feel the same way about you.”

They share a knowing smile before fully leaving each other arms and heading for the door. ‘

I hope this helped. I promise to actually finish it at some point lol

Also, I can’t think of any movies to cry to atm. 

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

I was tagged by @ilosttrackofthings, thank you! I have. like. a thousand tag games that you guys have tagged me in, I will get to them eventually probably. I’ll try. sorry. but I figured that I should start somewhere and it’d be smart to avoid adding more to the pile LOL

All this disclaimer to say: if you’ve tagged me in something and I’ve liked the post, I saw it, I love you, and I will get to it, I’m just a bit of a disaster human sometimes, and especially when I have exams to worry about.

Aaaaanyway

1) Have you had a good day so far?

Yeah, no studying today because yesterday I passed an exam, which means that I Deserve A Lazy Day. So I did some writing in the morning and I filled my queue for tonight and now I’m hungry so I suppose that I’ll make myself some lunch as soon as I’m close enough to starving that it makes me want to get off the bed (it’s around 1 pm, though I’ll probably post this tonight).

2) What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self?

Depends, how young are we talking? I suppose any me younger than 17/18 would have benefited from ‘yo, you’re gay’, that might have shortened my identity crisis (.......though, knowing me? Possibly not by much, mistrusting myself sounds 10000% like me). 

There are honestly a lot of things that I wish I had known and that are only starting to truly sink in now, but the thing that I probably would have needed the most was some guarantee that it does get better, it’s not just survival for the sake of it forever. “Keep your head up because things have to get better at some point” is like 90% of my coping strategy in life, but I would have needed to know that it was true for me specifically (this shit is cliché for a reason okay, it’s true LOL).

3) If you could share one song with someone for them to understand you, what would it be?

I’m going to need to think about this one... I’ve literally been listening to JUST The Amazing Devil for a month and a half now, since when I first discovered them, so THAT is probably telling already, all their songs speak to me, some more than others and depending on my mood.

If I had to choose one right now it’d probably be The Horror and The Wild, and I’m too lazy to go through my ipod and look for something that isn’t from The Amazing Devil, sorry XD

4) Do you have a song people wouldn’t expect you to like, but you do?

I think anyone who has asked me about my music taste has now accepted that it’s ‘literally everything except songs I don’t like’, I don’t know what would surprise them LOL.

5) Describe your go-to pair of shoes.

I have no idea what you guys call them in English, but in winter it’s this kind of boots, which I just wear out every year only to buy a new pair when they eventually fall apart on me, while in summer it’s just black or blue All Star/Converse, because I’ve had them for years and they don’t make my feet boil, so fine by me. 

6) Do you have pictures/posters in your room? What of?

I just have a drawing of a big red fish that a friend gifted me for my birthday. It’s really cute! 

7) Fave software?

I don’t know... like... what kind of software? A lot of things technically count as a software, right? I’m confused LOL.

8) Do you own nail polish/what’s your favourite color?

No, I used to in middle school for like a year but nah.

9) Do/can you lucid dream?

Nope.

10) Summer or winter?

Winter, please and thank you.

11) If you could re-live a day in your life, would you? When?

Assuming you mean “re-live” as in “not changing anything”, I would absolutely re-live the day I found out that I got into uni. Sure, there are a first few hours of maddening anxiety but then! the joy!

12) Favourite historical era?

Eeeeeh I don’t know, I’ve never seriously thought about it I guess. There are specific elements that fascinate me about history, and like history in general, but I wouldn’t say that I am particularly fixated on one era.

13) Common misunderstanding people seem to have about you?

I suppose I have been told a few times, these past few years, that I don’t seem particularly shy and/or introverted when making small talk, which means that I deserve a Oscar for my ability to Play It Cool because semi-strangers think that I don’t dread any kind of social situation. 

Tagging: @im-the-punk-who @mysteryandnonstopfun @misscrazyfangirl321 @frankiebleu @mslyragw (if you want to, obviously)

alright, well today was pretty good, busy but good. I woke up to my alarm at 9 and got up, got ready, and left at 9:30 to uber to Ulta to get my haircut. I ended up getting there at like 9:56 and the store apparently doesn’t open till 10, so I was awkwardly standing outside for a few minutes until my hair lady actually walked up and I was like “oh hey!” because I made the appointment last night so she didn’t even know I was coming in lol. so we had a good time catching up on everything being that I hadn’t been there since February, so we always have a million things to talk about and they’re always really good conversations. And my hair is back to its preferred length and I’m quite pleased with this. I was considering dyeing it back to brighter red since it looks weird to me now with it being short but not bright red, but figured I’d give it a little more time being that I have that job interview pending, and in a really random twist of events, I actually got an email today from the legal aid org who I’d previously done the interview with for the higher position I wasn’t quite qualified for but had now posted an attorney 1 position for domestic violence involving families and it would’ve been super great and I applied in like April and was sad when I didn’t hear anything back, and was later told they ended up filling the position in house, so I REALLY was not expecting to hear from them, but here was an email from them in my inbox asking if I spoke Spanish, which would be the logical question after reading my cover letter and resume because it was the one job requirement I very intentionally did not address because I do not in fact speak Spanish, but I emailed her back basically saying I took it in high school and was willing to do what it takes to get to fluency ASAP and that I was a fast learner with a great memory, which is really the best answer I got, so we’ll see where that goes I guess, if it’s nothing no harm done. I ended up uber pooling home so I could get some work done before having to take kitty to the vet. Worked for a bit and then got the leash and harness on kitty and got her in the bag, which strangely she didn’t fight all that much, but was of course very mad once she was actually inside of it and would not shut up lol. I was taking public transit because the vet is fairly close and uber doesn’t always allow pets in carriers (it’s up to the driver to make the call so it’s always a gamble) so I grabbed the bag and walked out to where the bus stop was. Now, it was HOT out today, like in the 90s, which is extreme for Chicago, so this is not something anyone is used to. But she was meowing up a storm and just making tons of noise, much to the amusement of the people waiting for the bus with me lol. Once we got on the bus she was kind of in and out of making noise, I was trying to get her to be quiet but I mean she does what she wants lol so that got us some weird looks (just people being like “where the hell did that come from??”) but thankfully we got there pretty quickly. Got off the bus and walked in, they stuck us in a room so I could take her out of the bag since she hated it so much. so I got her out and stuck her on the table, where she stayed at first but then after the aide weighed her on the scale she hopped off and was hiding in the corner underneath the chair I was sitting in, which is what she did last time, but the vet was able to lure her out with treats pretty easily so that was good. I told the vet about what was going on and she did a physical exam, saying her not eating the wet food could be about some mouth pain she might be having from like gingivitis (I guess I gotta feed her more of the teeth cleaning treats) so she gave me some pain meds for that and apparently she had like a zit on her gums that could be causing the issue so they gave me some like medicated wipes for that and want to see her back in three weeks, and we were good to go from there. Getting back into the bag, however, proved to be quite the struggle, because now she knew what was going on and was gonna put up quite the fight, so that took a good deal of effort. And then of course once we got outside the next bus wasn’t coming for another 23 minutes, which is way longer than they’re supposed to run (like 15 minutes at most, usually more like 7-10 during the week) and if it was just me I probably would’ve just gotten an uber but I had kitty with me and didn’t want to chance that. luckily this was a bus stop with a little covered structure with a bench and such so we could sit down and were somewhat shaded, though of course it was still hot AF out which was super uncomfortable. A woman came and sat next to me for a bit, resting on her way to the store lol so we chatted for a bit, apparently having an animal with you will just encourage everyone to talk to you lol. the bus finally came and she was still meowing but I was like come on we’re almost there and we finally made it home. Got to my apartment and let her out, and I noticed she was doing like this panting thing like how a dog would pant and it looked like she was breathing really fast, which kind of scared me, I was like uhh, should I call the vet again?? so I googled it and the first website I clicked on was like “IT’S PROBABLY DEADLY, GET TO YOUR VET ASAP” which made me nervous but perhaps seemed a bit premature, so I clicked on the second one that said it was a common response after strenuous activity or getting too hot and that as long as it stopped relatively quickly they’ll be fine, and it did stop not too long after so that was a relief. I went on my computer for a little bit before leaving for the chiropractor. good session, everything’s been going well there. Came back afterwards and worked for another few hours, I’m now like 630 pages into the 1700 page record (I got through a lot more today because a lot of it was stuff like medical records that you can more scroll through and not have to read every line whereas obviously with testimony and decisions you have to be super precise. Around 9 I stopped working and watched an episode of Jessica Jones, which continues to be good, though this episode definitely stepped up the weird. I very much do not trust this “Erik” fellow and I don’t like what he’s led to so far. but I guess we’ll see how that goes. Once that was over I switched over to the news, which I watched for a bit, and around the time they were going to switch over to the late night shows I turned the tv off to shower and start getting ready for bed, and now I’m here. Don’t have any formal engagements tomorrow but still got a lot to get done, I got to at least go through my clothes enough to pack for the NY trip and I mean I really should just finish all of it while I’m at it, I need to get more work done, I need to call that one person about an intake from last week, I hopefully need to clean some of the very messy kitchen before dumping that all on my roommate when I leave for the weekend, so you know, plenty to get done there. my business cards came in today which look really nice so I’m happy about that. And yeah, that’s about it. It’s now 1:06 am so I should really be getting to bed and so that is what I am going to do now. Goodnight peeps. Stay awesome.

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? My dad is. He writes with his left hand but does everything else right handed. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Nope. What’s the weather been like today? It’s cloudy and in the mid 70s. What was the last exam you sat for? Uh. Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Nope I’m not cool enough for people to invite to weddings apparently.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? My cousin sent me like 802043920803309021 messages yesterday, all paragraphs, all gibberish. I haven’t read them yet because I’m not mentally prepared to try to decipher what the fuck she’s talking about. She’d notorious for sending texts like that. Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? A metallic lavender color. Do you live anywhere near the woods? There are some forest preserves nearby. Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? Sure why not. Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Yes. Me and Mark’s. We like to celebrate how many years we’ve been together total instead of how many years we’ve been married. We got married the same date (6 years later) that we started dating to keep that our anniversary. When was the last time you used q-tips? A couple weeks ago. How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? Ya know, I’ve never really noticed. What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? I love jade citrus mint green tea from Starbucks. Do you understand music theory? Ugh. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Not enough. Are you expected to act professionally at your job? Of course? Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? I haven’t watched one in foreverrrrr. What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don’t like energy drinks. Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? Ugh my skin is AWFUL. When was the last time you got pins-and-needles? My leg fell asleep the other day. Why did you click to take this survey? I felt like it. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? Not my prescription ones. Sunglasses, yes. How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? I just use Spotify. Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? I hope any messages I’ve sent haven’t come off that way. Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? Depends on what I’m doing? What will be the next concert you attend? Maybe Lizzo? If not, then Vampire Weekend IN SALT LAKE CITY hi Ellen. Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? There are no TVs here. How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? Eh. Can you rap? Lol. What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Depends. McDonald’s is the only fast food place I like the burgers from, but in general I prefer chicken. So sometimes I get a Big Mac, sometimes a chicken sandwich, and sometimes a filet o fish. But fries. Always fries. Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? If you count instruction manuals and owners guides haha. There’s a bunch of those on my coworker’s shelves. What’s the time? 10 am. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Sure. How’s your body temperature right now? 98.6 or whatever it’s supposed to be, hopefully? Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? I got two rainbow tye dye shirts for my niece’s rainbow themed bday party for my sister and I that were marked down from $25 to $9 each because they were “pride” shirts. Have you ever studied any ancient societies? Yeah. Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? Yes, sometimes. What was the last reason you took medicine? I had a fucking terrible migraine. Do you exercise regularly? I need to start up again really bad. What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) Lattes. Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Yes and no. I know enough about it but sometimes I just can’t handle it because America is so fucking fucked up right now. Are you feeling worried about anything right now? Yeah. Are you a gossipy type of person? I’ll admit I like to gossip every once in a while. When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? I’m gunna munch on this pineapple I brought in a minute. And then for lunch I have a chicken caeser salad. Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. I’m not sure. Thankfully, at least every time I remember, I’ve never gotten insanely sick. What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I like them. Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done? Both. Have you seen your best friend today? One of them I see every day because we live together. What can you smell right now? Myself. Any important birthdays coming up? My niece’s 6th and my 30th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fireworks: yay or nay? I love fireworks. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Work. Then going to the city clerk to pick up some parking passes for my tattoo artist so he can park on our permitted street (his shop is right around the corner from where my dad lives). Then dropping them off and going to the gym for a bit, or maybe swimming.  Then dinner with Mark. How about tomorrow? Any plans? Work. Then a quick dinner with Mark. Then going to see Wet Hot American Summer with my sister. They are showing it at a theater and they made a drinking game out of it. Should be pretty freaking awesome.  Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do my own. If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? That pineapple I mentioned. Brb. Okay got it. Yum. What colour are your headphones? Mint green. Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? Fuck. Did I explain this? Long story short, my friend lead us on a wild goose chase because she doesn’t know Chicago and their beaches and we went to like 5 different beaches before we finally settled on one. We were in the car for 3 hours and we didn’t even leave the city it was a fucking nightmare. Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Yep. Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No, I haven’t. What was the last movie you saw at the theatres? Detective Pikachu. Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? I still need to go see Toy Story 4 and The Lion King. If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Guitar. Do you overthink a lot of things? Sure. Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? My mother. When was the last time you had a hangover? Recently.

Sexiled (Part 1/23) ~ Steve Rogers x Reader College!AU

A/N: Hello lovelies! So this is the story I was going to post last night, but then life got in the way. So you get a Monday post! Yay! lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Nat sexiles you the night before an exam so you decide to crash on your common room couch. Too bad there’s already someone there. 

Characters/pairings: Steve Rogers, eventual Steve x reader, Nat and Bucky mentioned 

Rating: T 

Warnings: Language (that’s it) 

Word count:  1532

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

(8:53 PM) Natasha: Do you mind staying out of the room tonight?

(9:25 PM) Natasha: I’m guessing since you didn’t answer you’re cool with it. Thanks! Love you!

You groaned as you stepped off the elevator. It was almost 3 AM and you had an exam in the morning. And because of said exam you had turned your phone off to study nine hours ago, apparently missing some very important news.

“At least the common room has a comfy couch,” you muttered as you trudged down the hall.

You were mentally calculating how much sleep was necessary for you to be awake for your exam when you turned the corner and found the couch you’d been planning on crashing on occupied.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Apparently you were louder than you intended because the guy jolted awake and started looking around for his books.

“Crap, I’m going to be late for my exam.”

“Easy there. It’s only 3 AM, and I don’t know of any classes here that start before 8,” You joked and he leaned back against the couch.

You couldn’t help but admire his physique as his chest heaved, and your cheeks burned when he caught you staring at him.

“Do I know you?” He squinted like he was trying to place you.

“I don’t think so.”

You would remember meeting someone so attractive.

“Well, in that case. Hi. I’m Steve.”

“Y/n.” You waved one hand somewhat awkwardly as you dumped your backpack on the table and moved to the sink to fill your water bottle. “So, Steve, I’m like sixty-two percent confident you don’t live on this floor. So why are you asleep in my common room?”

“How are you only sixty percent sure I don’t live here?” he asked somewhat incredulously.

“Sixty-two percent,” you corrected.

“I was studying for an exam with a friend and he decided to call it quits about,” he glanced at his watch, “An hour ago and I thought I’d take a twenty minute power nap before cranking out a few more hours of studying.” He grinned as he ran a hand through his messy blond hair. “So what’s your excuse?”

“Exam in the morning. Just got back from the library to find I’ve been sexiled. So I was planning on crashing on the couch.”

You sat cross-legged in one of the arm chairs and redid your messy bun before pulling your binder out of your backpack

“Well I apologize for taking your bed.”

“It’s okay,” you shrugged. “I should keep cramming anyways.”

“What are you studying for?” He asked as he looked around for his notebook.

“Chem 101,” You groaned.

“Wait, really? Me too. Are you in Erskine’s 8AM?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Wait that’s why I recognize you. You sit front right and answer all the hard questions.”

“Not really,” you mumbled, suddenly feeling self-conscious. You’d been labelled “teacher’s pet” practically your whole life and it wasn’t a nickname you were eager to bring with you into college.

“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing,” he smiled apologetically. “I wish I followed along that well. I feel like I’m always five steps behind.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to be encouraging but you also knew this was a weed out course.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. But if you’re going to keep cramming, we could study together.”

“That’s be great.”

“Awesome. Okay. Let’s get started.”

You hopped up and closed the doors to the common room so you wouldn’t bother anyone and then pulled out the rest of your notes.

“Umm. Wow.”

You glanced up and he was staring at the rainbow papers in your hand.

“Colors help me study,” you told him sheepishly.

“Do you do that during class?”

“Oh God no. This is what I spent eight hours on in the library tonight.”

The look of shock faded and he nodded.

“That makes a lot more sense.”

“So umm, where do you want to start?” You asked nervously.

“Let’s do the most recent section on bonding?” He suggested, flipping through his own notebook.

“Sure. Sounds good.”

The two of you studied surprisingly well together and by 6AM when your first alarm went off you were both feeling fairly confident.

“I think that’s about all my brain can take,” he groaned slightly as he stretched and you couldn’t help but notice the strip of skin that was exposed as his t-shirt rose up. “I think I’m going to go take a shower and try to wake up.”

“Probably a good idea. I’m probably going to fall asleep during the exam,” you half-laughed as you stretched your neck. “Maybe I should skip the nap and go try to track down some coffee and start the caffeinating now.”

“No way, you need sleep for sure.”

“I’m kind of afraid I’m going to sleep through my exam. Besides, I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep out here.”

As if to prove your point three different people exited their rooms to shower in the next few seconds. Steve frowned slightly before looking at you with a slightly bashful expression.

“Well, since I’m gonna shower. You could come nap in my bed. And then I can make sure you’re up for the exam.”

“I couldn’t possibly. I mean, what about your roommate?”

“He had PT this morning at 6.”

You couldn’t believe you were actually considering this. But you were exhausted and it would mean you didn’t have to worry about waking up for the exam.

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. If you’d rather I can just come back up here and wake you.”

A few more people started traipsing into the common room, and you knew you’d never get any sleep.

“Actually, I think I will take you up on that offer. Thank you.”

He smiled and grabbed your backpack.

“It’s the least I can do. I did steal your couch after all,” he grinned.

It turned out he lived two floors below you. The room was neater than you’d anticipated. Both lofted beds were made and the desks held stacks of papers and books.

“Make yourself comfortable.” He gestured to the bed on the right side of the room before turning to his drawers to gather clothes for the day. “What’s wrong?” he asked when he noticed you hadn’t moved.

“Uhhm…” You eyed the gap between the floor and the bed warily. He’d removed the ladder that typically went with lofts, clearly not needing it.

“Oh, right,” he laughed to himself putting two and two together. “I usually use the desk to get up there.”

“Okay, if you don’t me using it then I’m good.”

You kicked your shoes off next to his desk and sat on it before swinging your legs up and spinning so you could stand. You wobbled slightly and Steve reflexively extended his hands towards you. From the desk, you were able to swing your leg up and haul yourself into the bed.

Steve tugged the blanket from the end of his bed over you.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, the softness of the bed already lulling you to sleep.

“Sleep tight, y/n.”

  You groaned as you were shaken awake.

“Go away, Nat. My alarm isn’t even ringing,” you mumbled burrowing further under the covers.

However your eyes snapped open when you heard the throaty chuckle that most definitely did not belong to your roommate. You bolted upright, looking around to orient yourself. The piercing blue eyes you came face to face with didn’t exactly help your focus; you were hyper aware of his warm hand on your shoulder.

“Hi,” you squeaked out.

“Good morning,” he grinned. “How do you take your coffee?”

“On exam days… black.”

He hopped off the desk and set a mug under the Keurig, as you tried to wake yourself up.

“You know those are illegal,” you teased.

“Trust me. I’m providing a public service. Under-caffeinated Bucky Barnes is not good for anyone.”

“Don’t worry. My lips are sealed.”

He handed you the cup before hoisting himself onto the bed next to you.

Inhaling deeply, you let out a content sigh. “Cute boy bringing me coffee. You know, this is not such a bad way to wake up.”

“Happy to be of service.”

You grimaced. “I said that out loud didn’t I?”

He nodded, smirking.

“I’m just going to drink my coffee. Under-caffeinated y/n y/l/n isn’t good for anyone.”

“I don’t know about that,” he teased. “She seems pretty nice to me.”

Rolling your eyes, you nudged his shoulder.

Once the caffeine was coursing through your system, the realization that you had an exam hit.

“Okay. Right. Exam. Let’s do this.”

Steve took the empty mug from you before helping you down from the bed.

“Well I should go change, assuming my roommate isn’t having round 2. Thanks for the coffee and for letting me crash in your bed.”

“Anytime.”

You arched an eyebrow and he blushed.

“I just meant it was my pleasure. I mean… I…”

“You’re gonna hurt yourself. Seriously thank you. I’ll see you at the exam.”

“See ya.”

You felt him watching you as you walked to the elevator and you bit your lip to keep from giggling.

 A/N: So full disclaimer I do not recommend that you sleep i random strangers beds. lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun writing it. Stay tuned for more fluffy goodness. 

Tag lists are Open! 

Steve/Chris Tag List @isaxhorror @peachykeen3502 @patzammit

Marvel Tag List @hdthdthdt​   @sophiatomlinson23 @misty-panther @supermusicallee @scarlettsoldier

Permanent Tag List @iamwarrenspeace @jayzayy @bexboo616 @neoqueen306 @santheweird @rowenaravencalw @buckitybarnes @prxttybirdz @sergeantjbuckybarnes @samwinchxtr @broitsmydick @ailynalonso15 @nyxveracity @queenoftrash97 @walkingtravesty97 @lamia-maizat @memyselfandmaddox @lowkeybuckyb

When Uber Becomes Tinder (tinder!Ashton) - part 3

When Uber Meets Tinder, by @larryologymajor Read Part 2 here.

Part 3: Saturday.

It was nearly 9 am on Saturday morning when Ember was jarred awake from a deep sleep. Her phone was violently buzzing from the night stand, no longer in Do Not Disturb mode, but still on silent. She blindly pawed at the table surface trying to grab her phone.

"Hello?" She answered sleepily. Ember listened for a minute; she had forgotten all about her disastrous experience driving Uber last night. Ember nodded her head and quietly replied with a few yeah’s and okay’s before ending the call with her roadside assistance representative.

Ember's kitten crawled into bed and laid on the pillow with her. Ember tried to scratch under the kitten's chin, but the cat was more content with chewing on Ember's finger. Knowing she likely wouldn't fall back asleep, Ember gave the kitten a quick cuddle and crawled out of bed. She slapped her glasses on her face, shoved her phone in the kangaroo pouch of the long-sleeve tee she wore over her pink cami, then ambled into the kitchen where she stabbed at the Keurig through squinted eyes and waited for it to come to life.

Coffee and breakfast in hand, Ember sprawled out on the couch. Although it was sunny out, the outside temperature dipped colder overnight without cloud cover and her apartment felt cooler than normal. She pulled at a blanket from the back of the couch and spread it out over her legs. Moments later the kitten bounded up onto the couch, so Ember lifted up a corner and coaxed her kitten, "Come here goofball. Snuggle under the blanket and get warm." The kitten complied and pressed her body against Ember's leg; she was rewarded with vibrations from the kitten purring.

Later that afternoon, Ember was bundled up and heading out the door to pick up a few essential groceries from the convenience store across the street. It was cold out and she didn't want to walk, but her fridge was fairly empty and she had a long week ahead of her between school projects and exams. As Ember stepped out her door, her text signal dinged. It was Ashton: Hello

Ember grinned to herself and typed out: Hi :) How are you?

Then she slipped her phone into her jacket pocket and pushed open the door to exit her building. The sun was bright but the wind was wicked. She hurriedly crossed the street to the convenience store and walked even faster when her phone dinged again from her pocket. She slid into the foyer of the store and stepped over a puddle of melted snow, quickly exchanging her gloves for her phone.

Ashton: I'm good. Bored. How are you?

Ember sighed. Meh. My car is out of commission for a few days, so I walked to the store near my apartment to pick up a few things.

Ashton: So you're not going out driving tonight?

Ember: Definitely not, although I wish I was. Instead I'm stuck at home.

Ember's phone was quiet for a few seconds, so she slid her phone into her jacket pocket and grabbed a basket from the foyer then proceeded into the store. She quickly walked the aisles and loaded her basket with milk, yogurt, coffee creamer, sliced turkey, her favorite cranberry wild rice bread, eggs, and butter. Then, for good measure, she tossed a frozen pizza in her basket and headed towards the coffee station. Her phone dinged again. She set her basket on the floor and slid it out and unlocked it in one fluid motion.

Ashton: Well, at least you get to chill at home and take a break?

Ember: True, but I was looking forward to making more money tonight. I don't really have a job right now other than driving. But on the bright side, I'll be able to watch the hockey game on TV tonight.

Ember grabbed a thick paper cup and pushed a few buttons on the latte machine. She stared at the brown liquid coming from the machine thinking that she should have brought a reusable bag with for her groceries. Her phone dinged again as the machine sputtered out the last few drops of espresso.

Ashton: Understandable. Do you think you'll need some company tonight?

Holy Shit thought Ember as her heart raced. She wasn't sure what she wanted, or what to tell him. So she blinked a few times, slid her phone back into her jacket pocket, then gathered her basket and latte cup and headed to the checkout line.

Once Ember was home, she slid the frozen pizza into the oven and took a long pull of espresso; the liquid warmed her on the inside and the cup felt nice against her icy fingers.

As her pizza cooked, Ember turned on the TV just in time for the 7:07 pm puck drop and thought about the last text from Ashton. She unlocked her phone and posed her fingers over the keyboard, slowly tapping out: Will you be disappointed if I say yes, but just to hang out? My life is a lot complicated right now.

Ember finished her latte, ate her pizza, and cheered loudly whenever her team made a good play or scored a goal. The game ended with Ember's team winning 4 to 3 after two overtime periods. It was nearing midnight, much later than Ember expected and she was exhausted from her lack of sleep the previous night.

She still hadn't heard from Ashton, and she figured it was a lost cause. But she put on a brave face and sent him one more text: I think I'm going to bed soon. I'm so exhausted.

A few seconds later, her phone dinged. It was Ashton. He replied: *thumbs down* *thumbs down*

Ember scoffed at the thumbs down emojis and wrote back: Haha, I told you I'm too old to stay out late, didn't I? *laughing emoji* I need at least 8 hours of sleep to function and I'm running on 3.

Her phone dinged again seconds later, once again Ashton. Lol so you don't want to see me?

Ember was confused.I didn't say that. I just said that I'm exhausted and going to bed.

Ashton: Lol you can't be that tired.

Ember: No, I really am... Zzzzzzz... Even my kitten is ready for bed.

Ashton: Well, what if I want to see you?

Ember's heart stuttered again, and she furrowed her brow in confusion. She tapped out a lengthy reply. Ohh, I see. I appreciate the honesty although I'm a bit confused. Out of curiosity, how old do you think I am? Age doesn't really matter, but like I said, my life is complicated and I'd like to put some context to it.

Her phone dinged twice before she could unlock it. Two more messages from Ashton: 35. Lol.

Ember's mouth gaped open at her screen. He was right and she wanted to know how the hell he knew. Well fuck. Either I have a bad memory and told you, you're an incredible guesser, or you're stalking me ;) tbh I don't know which one it is lol

Ashton: Honestly, it was a good guess

Ember thought for a minute about everything she knew about him thanks to her endless hours of reconnaissance. But, she had to ask. Well you were spot on with your guess. 35 isn't that old and I don't feel old, I just can't stay up that late anymore without regretting it. Besides, all of my friends here at school are 22 year old boys who call me mom ;) They keep me young.

Ashton: Lol I can call you mom... ;)

Ember's eyes flew wide open reading that one; her fingers flew across the keyboard manically, reiterating the words she spoke out loud while laughing: Oh god, no, you can't call me mom! And why me?

Ashton: What do you mean?

Ember: What do you mean 'what do you mean'?? Why did you call and message me through the Uber app to report your 'lost' item? I'm sure know a lot of people and have a ton of friends that you can call...

Ashton: It's worth it.

Ember, still trying to get an answer from him, tried once more: Why me? It's not like this is Tinder...

Ember scrolled back through the conversation for a few minutes, but didn't see another reply come in from Ashton, so she switched her phone to Do Not Disturb, sent her best friend at school, Ben, a quick text wishing him goodnight, and went to bed.

Thanks for reading! There’s more to come! If you enjoyed this chapter, I would appreciate a reblog please and thanks! <3 I’m also looking for a beta/cheerleader for future chapters. Message me if you’re interested!

Tags: @mycollectionofnuts, @kaxseychill, @sunnysidesblog Want to be tagged? Let me know!    

Get to Know Me Tag

I like friendly people! And @the-arundel-renegades was lovely and wonderful and friendly and tagged me, so here’s for all the people who may or may not want to know anything about me lol

Nicknames: My dad used to call me Sweetpea (and my sister, Sunshine). My friend calls me Superstar, my sister calls me babe, and my childhood best friend and I called each other bud. I also get some variations of my last name, but otherwise Sarah doesn’t have many nicknames. 

Gender: Female 

Star sign: Quite honestly, I have no idea. I’m a virgo? Is that the same thing? 

Height: barely 5′4″. People tend to think that I’m taller than I am, maybe because I try to walk as straight and relaxed as I can to convince myself that I’m confident and unstoppable. Although yesterday my friend thought I was 5′1′’? Strange times. 

Hogwarts House: Primary- Hufflepuff (loyalty, community, endurance, fairness, kindness, etc). Secondary- Gryffindor (grandeur, heroics, dramatics, courage, righteous anger, etc). I wonder if the Sorting Hat may have thrown a bit of Ravenclaw (intellectual, deeply curious) in there, too.

(PS.  @the-arundel-renegades your description of the Hogwarts houses and sorting was so thoughtful and intriguing! And your line “Depression stole my ambition, so I am unable to assess the degree to which it is a core trait” is such an interesting and revealing way of thinking about an experience I’ve been struggling to describe (albeit not with depression) for a long time. Thank you.)

Favorite color: Blues, particularly deep blues. And the green-gold of light through leaves. 

Current time: 3:48 pm (we’re on a break from studying)

Average number of hours slept: 7. I started out the semester so well and regular: in bed by 11:30 and awake by 7:30, but we have reneged, and slipped back into my 2 am to 9 am.

Lucky number: My high school jerseys rotated between the numbers of 0 and 5, but I always leaned towards 4. Does that help? One time I chose the number 5 my junior year as a reclaiming and a slap to this bully in middle school who always chose that number. Just an fyi.

Last thing I googled: Probably something related to behavioral economics, like the Ellsberg Paradox, for my exam this morning. But I also read a great article by the NYT about the effect of the #MeToo movement on entertainment this year, and everyone should go read it. As for youtube (which is now owned by google?), the band Cimorelli (6 sisters!) has a beautiful Demi Lovato medley. 

Favorite fictional character: Too many to count to be honest. With books, as this is a Penderwick blog, the Penderwick sisters are my favorite. They were and are my family, and deeply shaped my character and the lens through which I view my surroundings. I will agree with @the-arundel-renegades: “They’re among the best-written, most authentic characters in children’s fiction.” Besides that, Will Herondale and Jem Carstairs. And, my classic nut head, Percy Jackson. I also loved Reyna in Hoo. And Inej Ghafa. And Sam Cortland. Oh no, here we go...

Number of blankets I sleep with: How odd. One. But with sheets and a comforter. 

Favorite bands/artists: Very diverse music taste! Recently into The Last Revel.

Dream Trip: Iceland. Besides that, Jerusalem and the Holy Land. And beyond that, mountains and cobblestone towns, wherever that may be. 

Dream job: Writer, editor, physician, policy-maker, mentor. Mother, loving sister, laughing partner, best friend. 

What I’m wearing right now: Leggings and a school T-shirt. Very cliché college student, I suppose. I’ve been dressing much nicer this year, actually! But when you have an 8 am exam, you gotta do what you gotta do. 

When I made this blog: Years and years ago. I come back to it occasionally, and I dove back in during Spring 2018. 

How many blogs I follow: A lot. I’m afraid to count. 

Posts: Again, more than I can count. Original posts: not very many! I should stop making excuses and get on that. “Very undeserving” indeed.  

What I post about it: The Penderwicks, the adventures and life of the most wonderful and charming group of sisters and family. It resonates with all ages. There’s really nothing like it. It’s magical and poignant and full, full of truth and love.  

When my blog reached its peak: I’m sure I’ve posted something that’s been reblogged a lot. I think it had to do with Penderwick sisters and Hogwarts Houses.  

Do I get asks everyday: No, I was pleasantly surprised to see this one.

How/why I chose my username: A nation is a community, and we are a community who adores the Penderwicks. 

Tagging: @camercnmass @the-gardam-street-blog

Thanks for the tag @mywritinghideout

IDK who to tag? @possibledreamswriting @teaandconfusion @missaddledmiss @katiehahnbooks and anyone else

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Everything. Um. Mostly my urban fantasy. I have the very valid excuse that from January-April 30th I was studying for my qualifying exam so I wasn’t doing anything but working and sleeping. Now that I have time again, I’m slowly trying to get back into writing it. 

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

All of my fanfiction? I wouldn’t delete it. I’m fond of it even if they’re bad and it’s nice seeing how far I’ve grown. But some of it is really bad. 

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else?

Varies. Usually chronological but sometimes I jump and do random scenes. That’s what’s happening with my urban fantasy because I can’t get some of the subplots down.

4. Favorite character you’ve written?

Liv holds a special place in my heart since she’s been around for so long. 

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

The Elf, Gabriel. He’s... an interesting character. 

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

In this WIP, it’s still pretty early to change things so I can’t really say.

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I just don’t usually tell people. My friends will ask what kind and I say “fiction” or “novels and stuff” and things like that. My mom knows I write but I don’t talk to her about the plot. I will drunk text my friends the entire plot of my novels apparently.

8. Favorite genre to write

YA 

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Music. 

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others?

I write alone. I can do music, instrumental music, or silence. Really depends. 

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

My characters. I think they’re each unique. They may have similarities, but you can clearly tell who is who, sometimes based on dialogue alone. 

12. Your weaknesses as an author?

Cohesive plot. Making every scene matter and not just be fluff. TOO. MANY. SIMILES. 

13. Your strengths as an author?

Characters. World building. Little details. 

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

Nah. I either put a single song on repeat or put on a long instrumental thing or silence. 

15. Why did you start writing?

I liked it. I don’t have a deep answer lol. 

16. Are there any characters who haunt you?

The Dwarf, Red. I just... can’t get her subplot down. Which is a shame because I think it could be cool. I literally think of this going to bed at night. 

17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Don’t delete your god awful self insert romance stories. Or those murder-mysteries that make no sense. Keep writing original and don’t be discouraged. For the love of god, get over that dead fandom you keep writing for that you don’t even like anymore and move on.

18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

I honestly don’t read as much as other authors. Certainly not as much as I should. I blame the field I’m in. I read heavy, academic journals for hours on end and the idea of reading more when I get home, even for fun, is exhausting. 

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Outlines. Bullet point lists. Random lines of texts that I know move things forward. 

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Little spurts. I used to do long sit down but my life doesn’t allow that anymore. 

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

Cringe. How much I’ve grown. Why did I think it was okay for children this young to be doing these things? 

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

I mean, does explicit sex count? I don’t want to include sex in my stories at all so it’s not really an issue but year. 

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Obscure? I mean. Not really? I’ve had a lot of trauma. A lot of really fun experiences too. It all kinds of adds together. But you can write something without ever experiencing it. Otherwise futuristic scifi and fantasy wouldn’t exist. 

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? Nah. But I do my research. My google history is currently full of demonology. I actually need to do more. 

25. Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

I’ve been fiddling with this paragraph for the last day or two. It takes place on the roof of a house where Willow (the Mage) is showing her little brother a spell. 

Light hidden in the darkness began to gather near them, photons pulled from their scatter and concentrated into one spot. A glowing orb of yellow light as warm as the summer sun began to form above her palms. It flickered and grew into a tiny, fragile, impossible, magical thing. Willow’s eyes shined brightly in its light, her face free of shadows. 

Glad You Came (WZY)

Based off: “Glad You Came” by The Wanted

Summary: You’re glad that Ziyi came.

PLEASE DON’T TAKE THAT THE DIRTY WAY OH MY GOD

fluff, college!au, party!au

WARNING: Mention of abuse/alcoholism/abusive relationships

“Hell yeah, turn that song up!” you yelled, raising your red solo cup. Dousing its contents, you nodded your head to the bass as you went to the center of the room to join your friends.

Friday nights were always your favorite. Not only did it mean that the weekend was officially here, but Fridays were when the best parties were thrown. You’d forget all your worries in the world, throw on something your mom would kill you for wearing, and let loose. 

You came to learn that the fraternity boys knew how to have a good time. They’d rent out the house, fill it with booze, loud music, and had to find a way to not get shut down by the police before 5 AM. 

There were nine of them. Known as gods to both girls and guys, they were the epitome of living life to the fullest. 

“(Y/N), over here!” Chengxiao yelled. She motioned you over and lifted her red cup and clinked it with yours.

“Here’s to another Friday night,” she cheered, “And honestly, fuck exams.”

“Amen to that,” Jieqiong laughed, “and Amen for the fraternity boys.”

You instantly recognized the next song, the three of you squealing after hearing the first four seconds.

“Glad You Came’s playing?! Come on, let’s dance!”

The sun goes down,

The stars come out,

And all that counts,

Is here and now,

My universe will never be the same,

I’m glad you came, I’m glad you came

“I love this song!” Chengxiao yelled over the music, “Best. Party. Ever.”

After an hour, you excused yourself to get a drink, waving a goodbye to your friends who now had two of the fraternity guys with them. You flashed them a thumbs up, and went to go get another drink.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here?” a greasy voice slurred behind you. Turning around, you were face-to-face with none other than Bu Fan.

“Oh, (Y/N)? It’s been so long,” he drawled, “Fancy seeing you again.”

“Hello, Bu Fan,” you replied with a tight-lipped smile, “It’s been a while.”

Bu Fan and you met during freshmen year when he accidentally spilled his iced coffee all over you and it led to a sweet relationship.

You’d probably still be with him if he wasn’t an alcoholic. Bu Fan was one of the nicest people ever, but as soon as alcohol ran through his veins, he became a monster. He lashed out his anger and stress on you, leading to painful memories of beatings and bruises. 

And to be quite honest, you just couldn’t deal with it anymore. You broke up, lost all contact, and hoped to never have to see him every again.

Funny how things worked out. 

Like usual, he was wearing his disgustingly rich mink coat, and stood looming over you like a tall tree. His breath reeked of alcohol, and his bloodshot eyes stared into yours. Knowing how he got when drunk, you instantly backed up and frantically started searching for your friends. 

“How’ve you been, darling?” He asked, taking a swig from his beer bottle, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve been good, thanks for asking. I have to go now, but I’ll see you around.”

You turned as fast as you could to escape him, but you felt yourself roughly being yanked back.

“(Y/N), who said we were done talking? You never explained to me why you left me,” he snarled, “Dirty slut.”

“Bu Fan, let go of me,” you said firmly, “I need to go.”

“I never said you could,” he said, his grip getting even tighter, “You think you can talk back to me like that? Who do you think you are, huh?” 

He raised his glass bottle in the air, ready to strike you. Absolutely terrified, you covered your head and braced for the impact. 

It never came. 

A tall boy ripped Bu Fan off of you, instantly grabbing him by the collar. 

“Get the fuck off of me,” Bu Fan growled, “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I’m Wang Ziyi. From what I understand, you were about to beat a girl at my party, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

He wore a long sleeved striped blue shirt with a white tank underneath, his hair wild and his eyes blazing. With slick black hair, fair skin, and a single stud in his right ear, you happened to take this all in as he pinned your ex to the wall. 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he sneered, “She’s my girlfriend.”

“No boyfriend calls his girlfriend a ‘dirty slut,’” Ziyi replied, infuriated. His grip on Bu Fan tightened.

“Get out of here. Don’t ever come back into the frat house again.”

Bu Fan threw a string of curse words at you before stalking off.

“Have fun with the slut!” He yelled, “This party sucks. I’m out of here.”

Ziyi rolled his eyes, and turned to face you.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks for helping me out back there,” you said, slightly bowing, “I really appreciate it.”

“No big deal,” he shrugged, “Nobody should ever be put in that situation. I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Two other boys soon joined him, slapping him on the back. You recognized them as Wang Linkai and Cai Xukun, two of the fraternity boys. 

“Atta boy, Ziyi!” Linkai exclaimed, “You finally got noticed by (Y/N)!”

“Hey there,” Xukun said, now chuckling as he talked to you, “Sorry about that. Our friend Ziyi over here might have a huge crush on you.”

“(Y/N) this, (Y/N) that!” Linkai laughed, “Forget about a crush, he’s in love with you!”

“I am not!” Ziyi said, his ears turning bright red.

“Oh, really?” Xukun said, “Even though you insisted that we keep having parties every Friday just for (Y/N)?”

“Or what about how you’ve been staring at her like a dumb fool, complaining to us about how you’re too chicken to talk to her?”

You giggled.

“It’s okay, Ziyi,” you said, reassuring him, “Not gonna lie, you seemed pretty cool back there saving me, so you’re definitely not a chicken.”

You grabbed a napkin and a bed, scribbling your number on it.

“I was planning to never get a boyfriend again after Bu Fan, but I think you changed that. If you ever wanna hang out, just call me.”

You handed him the napkin, thanking the three boys once again before finding Chengxiao and Jieqiong waiting for you.

“Bro, you’re whipped!” Linkai cackled, “Look at you, you’re on Cloud 9!”

“Shut up,” Ziyi said, unable to contain his grin, “I’m just really happy.”

“What the hell were you doing back there with THE Cai Xukun, Wang Linkai, and Wang Ziyi?!” Chengxiao shrieked, “They’re the three most popular fraternity boys in our grade!”

You explained what had happened as you walked back to the dorms, and the two of them instantly flipped. 

“I knew it!” Jieqiong exclaimed, “Ziyi and I have Bio together and he’d always ask me about you! I fucking knew it!”

“He’s had a huge crush on you ever since last year,” Chengxiao said, shaking her head, “How did you not notice such a cute boy?”

“How come neither of you told me?” You retorted, “I would’ve taken that chance if I knew him!”

“You’re a brick, (Y/N)!” Jieqiong said, waving her arms, “It’s WANG ZIYI. It’s not just anyone!”

“Well, what do you think of him? Is he your knight in shining armor?” Chengxiao teased, poking you.

“He’s pretty cute,” you admitted, “And he’s definitely a good guy.”

“Well, if you guys start dating, PLEASE put in a good word for me to Xukun!” Chengxiao giggled. 

The three of you made it to your rooms, and were off to bed. As you were brushing your teeth in the bathroom, you heard a squeal.

“(Y/N)! Oh my god, Ziyi texted you!”

(ZIYI) 1230083701: Hey, it’s Ziyi. Sorry for my friends back there, lol. Thanks for coming tonight.

Jieqiong shoved your phone in front of your face.

“You’ve got to reply! Don’t leave him hanging!”

(Y/N) 12300785624: Hey! It’s no worries. Thanks for helping me out tonight, I’m glad you came. :-)

“Wow, you’re so lame,” she laughed, “That was probably the most basic response you could’ve sent.”

(ZIYI) 1230083701: LOL, is that a reference to the song by The Wanted? You’ve got good music taste. 

(Y/N) 12300785624: Maybe. 

(ZIYI) 1230083701: Well, if I maybe asked you out on a date tomorrow, would you say yes?

(Y/N) 12300785624: I don’t have a reason to say no. 

“I can’t believe all the action you got today,” Chengxiao complained, “Look at you, getting with WANG ZIYI!”

“You’re going on a date with the BOOGIE man!” Jieqiong said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Shut up you guys!” You laughed, “I’m going to bed. Ziyi’s actually going to think I look like a boogieman.”

“You’ll haunt his heart.”

“Shut up!”

--------------

(I’M SORRY I HAD NO CLUE WHEN TO END THIS AND IT SUCKS ALSFHLASHF PLEASE DON’T HATE ME FOR WRITING 9% STUFF)

PS i love this gif of ziyi like w o w 

907.

Is popularity a social disease? if it matters that much to you, then yes, it’s a social disease. Would you want to be a hippie? not really. i respect the lifestyle and culture, i’m just not into it. In college, were you ever given exams with extremely broad and deep questions such as, ‘Why?’ or 'What is truth?’ it wasn’t a ‘what is the truth?’ type situation, it was more about what our opinion on the topic was. Have you knowingly destroyed an endangered plant or animal? nope. Did your parents bronze your first pair of baby shoes? i don’t think so... i’d know if it still existed if they did.

Do you check for a train when crossing tracks in your car even though the arms aren’t down? there aren’t many train crossings in my city tbh. i’ve never actually crossed one after all these years of driving. Is there gossip going around about you right now? i don’t think so. i live a pretty drama free life these days. How many comic strips do you read daily: none. If you were hiding from a burglar, would you hide in the closet or under the bed? under the bed i think. What do you most commonly use milk for: drinking or cooking? cooking. Who should provide the condoms in a relationship: the man or the woman? both should be responsible but the man should definitely always have some. imagine being the woman and always having to provide that? Are you ever afraid that people hate you and they’re just acting like they don’t? haha it’s definitely happened before. When you’re crossing the street with other people, do you ever feel a need to get to the other side first? nope. i just walk in the clearest path possible. Should people be able to go to college without a high school diploma if they score high enough on entrance tests? i mean, i think so. everyone has a right to an education. i don’t think entrance tests would be that easy either. Would you be embarrassed if people could hear you talking to your pets? haha no. If elephants were bred to a smaller size and sold as house pets, would you want one? it’d be a cool idea but probably not. Do you refer to people as 'dude’? no. Do you remember the last time you wrote a 'snail mail’ letter? haha nope. i’m assuming it would’ve been a greeting card though. Do you think beards/mustaches make men look older than they actually are? not particularly. Are you usually the one to initiate sex with your significant other? my boyfriend and i are pretty equal in this situation. When you’re having trouble burping when you feel like you need to, does patting yourself on the chest seem to help? haha no. i just do it. Do you have your wallet with you right now? yes. If it ever came down to a final battle between good and evil and you knew that evil was going to win, who would you fight for? i’d stay away as far from this battle as possible. i hate getting involved in conflict. Do you feel guilty when you borrow money from your parents? haha yes. Do you constantly have times where you have no money and then earn a lot of money and you don’t know what to do with it? no. my money always goes to bills etc. Do you always see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life? of course. it’s my life. Can you drive by a car accident without staring? yes. i’ll have a quick glance but this shit causes soooo much traffic, even on the lanes going the opposite way. it drives me nuts. Do you find it a challenge to congratulate your opponent who just beat you in a game or competition? haha yes. Do you think that no matter how cold or heartless someone seems there is always at least one thing in the world that they love? yes, definitely. im sure 99.9% of people have a soft spot for something/someone. Who is worse: Someone who doesn’t repay a loan or someone that steals your CDs? someone who doesn’t repay a loan because i don’t own any cds haha. Why do you think so many homosexual men still go without condoms: because they don’t know of the dangers, or because they don’t care? both tbh. When you think about morality, do you think more in terms of good/bad people, or good/bad actions? actions. Which of these female comedians is funnier: Ellen Degeneres or Margaret Cho? i haven’t seen much of magaret cho’s stuff so i’ll just say ellen. Are you scared of dying alone? yes. dying in general. Are you most comfortable being treated by a doctor of the same sex as you? of course. Do you take daily walks? nope. i mean i walk everyday but i not like for exercise. Are there some slang terms you refuse to use? i hate the slang ‘litty’ lol. so cringy. Do you have a favorite pen that you use all the time? haha no. i have ones that i prefer writing with but i don’t have one fave. Have you ever changed an adult’s diaper? no. Do you think it’s dangerous or a good thing when two very depressed people start to date each other? dangerous. it’ll either go one of two ways. down a spiral of negativity if they’re feeding off each other’s problems or positive if they find true happiness within each other.

Do you know a game that is very stupid, yet very addicting? most iphone games haha. i’m totally guilty on this. Do you plan on having your children Christened/Baptised? probably.  Would regularly seeing videos of you interacting with people significantly improve your overall human effectiveness? that’d be cool. i think it’d work lol. Have you ever misspelled 'misspell’? i haven’t ever had to use it much. Have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours to study for an exam? nope. Have you ever been in the back of a moving truck? yes haha. When you were young, did you know some pop stars were gay? probably. Do you have control over how much peace there is in your mind? sure. If you got a backstage pass at a concert, would you feel better than everyone else? um, yes duh.  Is your microwave any other color besides white? it’s black. Would you prefer a bagel or an entire breakfast in the morning? i’d prefer the bagel as long as there’s cream cheese. Do you think that couples that elope have a better chance of staying together? every couple is different. i’m not one to make a call on this. Do you know of a frozen dinner that tastes good? ugh, not at all. i hate them. Will public restrooms no longer be separated by gender in the near future? probably. If you do not eat red meat but eat fish are you a vegetarian? isn’t that a pescatarian? When you discard a piece of paper, which of the following are you more likely to do: rip it apart in pieces or crumple it? i’ve done both. if it’s a confidential document i’ll rip it up. Do you wear your pants and shorts above or below your waist line? above usually. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sex change operation? yes. i’m assuming it’d be a mentally and physically draining experience. as long as they’re happy though. Do you call margarine 'butter,’ even though you know the difference? haha nope, i’ll call it margarine. Do you bathe less when you are depressed? yes. Should the ASPCA and RSPCA ban the practice of kidney transplants in cats, since cats can’t give consent for the surgery? i have no knowledge on this. Would you ever drink from a bowl or cup made out of human bones? probably not. just a creepy feeling. Does your car normally smell good? i guess so. i’m obsessed with air fresheners. Do you think 9/11 will be the worst thing you will see in your life? i mean it’s up there as one of the most memorable news stories of my childhood. but since i wasn’t there in person, i’m sure there could be worse things i experience personally throughout my life. Do you tend to do more research for school or papers at the library or on the internet? internet. Do you have an outfit you wear that makes you feel like a star? haha no. i’m yet to find the perfect outfit. You are working at McDonald’s frying meat. Your manager is being a jerk and you are ticked. A customer comes in and orders a 20-piece box of nuggets. Out of anger towards your manager, would you pack 20 or more, or 19 or less in that box? 20 or more. the customer didn’t do anything, why should they suffer? Once you’ve made up your mind about the kind of person someone is, can anything they say or do change it? yeah, it’s possible. Is there a single person whose whole existence you might be interested in studying? not seriously. a quick google search will do lol. Do you think that cuddling with a member of the opposite sex, with no intention of sexual relations, is cheating? i think it’s odd. why would you be cuddling someone that wasn’t your significant other in the first place?  Which would you be willing to give up the internet for: world peace or immortality? world peace. i cbf being immortal if it means i can never go on the internet anymore. Are you a redneck? no. Do you think by 2050 there will be flying cars? i wouldn’t be surprised. Should politicians be allowed to have a private life? sure. Do you avoid going over to other people’s houses because it makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place? omg yes. i don’t mind it but i always feel so awkward. i’m just so comfortable in my own home, i’d prefer my friends coming over instead. If someone you don’t know too well puts you in the buddy list of his or her profile, would you be suspicious, or would it be OK that he or she did that? depends who it is. Do you have a trash can in every room of your home? most rooms. Who said “I love you” first: you, or your partner? me lol. Do you ever lay down and watch a movie, only to fall asleep in the very beginning and wake up when the movie is over? all the damn time. Do you say 'thank you’ before leaving a store, even though you may not have purchased anything? if someone’s helped me out, then yes definitely. Would you approve if your significant other wanted to have a nude painting done? sure. lol. If there were nine guilty people and one innocent, and they all had to be together, would you put them all in jail or set them all free? depends on the crime. Is your pet also your best friend? of course :) When the toilet backs up, do you call someone to fix it or do you do it yourself? i try to fix it myself. then i pass it on to my parents and then plumber if need be. Have you ever recited a love poem to your significant other? nope. Would you rather be 'all head and no heart’ or 'all heart and no head’? i’d rather be all heart and no head even though i’m probably the opposite. Are your teeth discolored? slightly. When you were a child, did you make or buy your Halloween costumes? mostly make thanks to my mum. Have you ever seen a movie and liked it but upon further viewing come to like it a lot less? nope. If your father was a minister, would you want him to preside over your wedding ceremony? nope. i’d want him to be my father on my special day, not as a minister. Would you prefer to watch porn or a really good comedy? comedy. How long did your longest phone conversation ever last? over 24 hours but technically it was on skype. Do you put your initials on everything you own? no. Do you like or dislike people based on who else likes or dislikes them? no. even with a bad rep, i’d figure them out on my own. Do you have a friend who you hang out with only when there is nothing else to do? haha no, that’s mean. Which is harder: calculus or trigonometry? i hate them both. Do you often find yourself correcting your parents? when it comes to technology...always. If you could stop aging at a certain age, do you know what that age would be? 25ish. Do you more often eat off of real plates or paper plates? real plates. Have you ever had tape over your mouth? i tried it out myself as a kid. haha. If you encountered someone you totally didn’t know and he or she seemed to tell you the solutions to your uniquely specific problems without having been told what they were, would you be more thankful or freaked out? i’d freak out. i’m skeptical about everything. Would you rather eat a raw egg or a scoop of raw hamburger? omg neither. Do shy kids tend to grow up to be freaks? whaaat? not at all. When you put on a shirt, do you button up or down? i button down. Do you scent your letters when you write to a special someone? haha yes, i did it years ago. Is punk influenced more by music or attitude? music. actually idk. Did you ever start a thread that got at least 40 posts? yes. Can you recall the ending of the last story you read? nope. Have you ever had your head stuck in an unusual place? no. Do you have any weird or funny local slang? haha yes. chat, ceebs etc. When you come online, is there always one person you look for? back in the msn days, yes. not anymore. Do lava lamps make you sick looking at them? i never had one, so no. i find them fascinating still. Will Hollywood ever run out of ideas for movies? they’ve already run out. i feel like everything is a remake of something these days. Does P. Diddy telling everyone that he is the new Frank Sinatra make you want to roll your eyes? haha he could not be serious. Do you think the state of the global environment will be better or worse in 50 years? wors. Do you eat dinner in the dining room or in the living room? both. Which Mike Judge cartoon do you prefer: Beavis and Butthead or King of the Hill? neither. never watched them. Have you ever fallen off your chair in public? no. When sleeping, do you face the doorway or have your back to it? face it. Do you find poetry that expresses pain and suffering to be more intriguing than other types? i hate poetry. Do you only pretend looks don’t matter because you’re ugly yourself? haha i don’t pretend. looks matter to an extent. Do you find limericks to be funny and clever or annoying? funny when i was a kid. Do you think you’d be capable of representing yourself in court rather than hiring an attorney to do it for you? no. When you flirt with someone, is it obvious or more subtle? awkward if anything. Which character do you think weighs more: Jabba the Hutt or Fat Bastard? idk lol. Do you think couples break up mainly because of differences they can’t resolve or because they have found someone new? it’s possible to simply fall out of love without having someone else in the picture. Do you reread things that are written well? yes. What hurts more: getting poked in the eye or biting your tongue? poked in the eye. Do you prefer merry-go-rounds or ferris wheels? ferris wheels. better views. Which do you prefer: original or flavored Tootsie Rolls? original. If you had three children, would you rather have two boys and a girl, or two girls and a boy? two girls and a boy. Is having a threesome basically approved cheating? if it’s approved, it’s not cheating. Is it a turn off to you if the woman has a deep, manly voice or if the man has a high, pre-pubescent voice? no. Have you copied (or “ripped”) your entire CD collection onto your computer? yep lol. Do you have buns of steel? i wish! Did you use floaties on your arms when you were learning to swim? yep. Did your first ever snog involve French kissing? no. there was a lot of pecking involved first. Do you know a person who is physically unattractive and yet a flirt? haha yes. Are there a lot of programs on your computer that you don’t know how to use? yep. like half of the adobe cs. Do you live in an uncomfortable environment, such as where you feel you cannot be yourself? nope. If you had discovered a body on the side of the road would you see if it was still alive? i’d be scared shitless but i would and call emergency. Does punishing everyone for the actions of the few get us closer to utopia? hell no. Can you finish an entire 2-liter bottle of soda by yourself in a single sitting? no way. i’d feel like shit. Have your parents ever forbidden you to play a certain type of music in their house? nope. Since you reached dating age, have you been single for more than three years? nope haha. i’ve been taken for most of my dating life. When buying shampoo or soap, do you choose one because of what they put in it, or because you like the smell? i buy based on what they’re supposed to do to my hair. Have you ever had writer’s block? never really had to write since uni, so no.

I've been very upset lately. The pressure is insane.

And it's not like I don't know math or understand the material, I actually know all the concepts and everything. The only issue is I make little mistakes, the tiniest little mistakes, I forgot about the exponent, I wrote it as negative instead of positive, I forgot the units, I have the wrong amount of sigdigs, I added instead of multiplying... simple things, small things.

This is because my brain doesn't function well with so many rules. It simply doesn't compute long lists of strict rules sorry babe. No joke, all my mistakes arent cos I dont know what I'm doing, they're because I forgot soemthing small.

Fuck this shit man I'm not meant to be doing this... like, the amount of stress this is causing me... and I just know that tommorow after I get a shit mark my parents will be angry... I was given one days notice about the exam??? I study for hours every day??? Idk what else you want me to do like I'm already ruining my mental health for this.

I've told them before that it felt like I was overworking myself and they said that's just somehting I have to get used to and that's honestly so fucking upsetting. Like I rly said "yeah this class is fucking me up" and they went "lol idc get used to it, it will be like this for the rest of your life. Also work harder ur marks suck."

Like bro??? I have cried more in the past day than I've ever cried in ONE DAY... probably like 7 times. That's not normal, I dont think. Either I have some sort of illness or this is too much. I think maybe I have soemthing wrong with ME. Everyone else seems to handle it fine, no one else cries like I do. No one else is constantly doubting their intelligence.

Maybe it's a memory issue??? Like, one day of class I legit raised my hand and solved a question without ever having seen that sort of question before just with Logic, but yesterday I panicked because I couldn't remember how to solve it, in fact I didn't remember it at all until I asked the teacher and she told me that I should know since I was the first to have a correct answer... its almost like my brain doesn't remember math. Maybe that's because it's not built to do math??? Not like that matters... if I want a house in the future I need to finish math with a good grade.

This is SHIT. I work so hard and still I'm unable to live up to the expectations... I'm given at least 30 questions to complete for homework (I get like 4ish hours to do them since I get home at 3, go to bed at 9 and eat supper around 5) and I only end up completing like 6 before i have to go to sleep.... its painful and it's sad and I DON'T BELONG HERE!!!!! I DON'T BELONG IN A FUCKING MATH CLASS, MUCH LESS A GRADE 11 LEVEL IB MATH PROGRAM THAT WAS ORIGINALLY A YEAR LONG COURSE CONDESNED TO FIT INTO THE SPAN OF ONE/TWO MONTHS!!!!

But I can't just... do something easier. I can't. It's not an option if I want a house when I'm older. It's not an option if I want my parents to not hate me. It's not an option if I want to make the teacher who called me "hardworking" and pulled the strings to get me here proud.

I feel guilty for thinking that my hard work and dedication and whatever could ever match the natural wit of the kids who sit next to me. I feel inferior to them as I struggle with a problem that they complete instantly. I feel like I'm worthless. And maybe I am. The MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST RESPECTED SUBJECT is the one I am the worst at. And the ones my parents and society in general dismiss as being useless or stupid are the ones I'm good at and I enjoy. If the things I CAN do aren't good enough, what good am I as a person? What do I serve to society as a person? ...NOTHING.

The pain I feel over this is literally tortuous, fuck, I can't handle it, it physically hurts and it feels like my body is too weak to handle all the pain. I'm not even fucking joking, this makes me miserable. It ALWAYS has. I was so stupid to think I could EVER be good enough. I was so stupid to think if I studied for hours on end I would magically become better at math. It doesn't work that way....

And I feel guilty for wanting to be loved an valued, because how can I expect that when I can't do anything to be deserving of that? I feel guilty for the fear of my parents reactions upon seeing whatever grade I get tommorow, because really, I deserve whatever punishment comes to me. Because really, I'm not worth even having a bed to sleep in if I can't do basic fucking math. I'm so stupid. I'm SO FUCKING STUPID.

I don't know if I'll make it. If I'll pass my classes and make it. If ill get grades good enough to get a job that will pay me Enough.

This is so scary... I hate how my future hinges on this... I'm 15 and whether I live in a house or on the streets is dependent on how good I am at math.

Fuck this it's so stressful I'm panicking and I honestly wish I wasnt even human at all... I wish I could be a bird or a dog or cat or whatever, an animal that is loved, an animal that is happy and free of this crushing. Pressure. An animal that just... no thoughts head empty only animal sounds. Or maybe a baby. It would be nice to be a baby or a small child who only has to know how to write their name and maybe count to ten. Oblivious and happy and cared about. Or maybe it would be best to just be nothing at all. Freed from the prison I've been condemned to live in. Nothing at all. I wish I could sleep and never wake up.

I want to be happy... fuck. I guess I am overdoing it. Something's wrong with me lately. Normal people don't have so many breakdowns in such short spans of time over such stupid bullshit. I think that maybe I've been treated too softly in the past and now that I actually have to work its come as a shock to me.

But that makes no sense. I'm able to work and I do work, a lot, it just isn't helping and my brain won't take it in properly.

When I wake up tommorow my eyes will be swollen from crying so much.

Hey, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing by asking this in question but would you say it's possible to have executive dysfunction while still being able to perform well in school? I don't have trouble with assignments but I've been wanting to read a book that sits in a cupboard 5 centimeters from me ever since October and haven't been able to force myself to open it. Could this be explained by EFD or should I look into something else? Or maybe I'm just lazy lol idk

It is absolutely possible. I excelled in high school while also committing myself to cross country and indoor/outdoor track sixs days a week for five years. I graduated with 15 varsity letters, over thirty medals at district and state meets, a 4.0 GPA, special or high honors every semester, 97th+ percentile on my SATs, 4s and 5s on all six AP exams, early acceptance to University with a merit scholarship, etc etc. I could go on but you get the point: you can have executive dysfunction and be successful in school.

[This got really long so I’m putting a readmore]

You might be wondering how I managed all those achievements if I have this disorder that I say I have. That’s normal. Most people hear “ADHD” and think “hyperactive child who can’t focus in school.” While that’s sometimes true, it’s far from an all-inclusive representation. The answer to my previous academic success, I’ve realized, is that I relied very heavily on externally-imposed structureLet me walk you through one of my days in high school, and you’ll see just how much of my routine was being enforced externally.

My alarm went off every day at 6:20am, and my dad made sure I was out of bed by 6:30 before he went to work. He usually made steel cut oats and left some for me. My mom always made sure there was enough food in the house so I could make my own lunch. I let the chickens out before leaving for school.I went to school for six hours of short (50 mins) classes of 18-25 students, where my teachers knew me (and my parents) and where phones and laptops were strictly forbidden. Notes were taken on paper only and homework assignments were due the next class, and everything was graded. Agendas were given out at the beginning of each year and we were expected to use them every day. Parents would be notified if behavioral or performance issues arose.After school I went to cross country or track practice where the captains led us through warm ups and then the coach told us what sort of training we were doing that day. They often timed us and recorded our progress over the season/years.After practice I went home, where my mom was starting dinner, and I did my homework that I had to do if I didn’t want to get a 0 and have a parent-teacher conference. I ate dinner, did the dishes because that was my chore, put the chickens away, worked on more homework, and then by 9:30pm my mom would be berating me to go to bed. I didn’t have a smartphone or a computer so it wasn’t possible for me to lay in bed staring at a screen all night. On weekends I cleaned the bathrooms and vacuumed the house because that was my job. Somewhere in there I also cleaned the chicken coop and attended to their food and water.Rinse and repeat.

If you look at that routine, you’ll see only two tasks that I truly did on my own: making my lunch and putting the chickens in/out. I didn’t want to go hungry at school, so I made myself food. And I frequently forgot to let the chickens out (and put them back in, but fortunately we had a solid run that kept predators out). Everything else that appears to be self-discipline was actually motivated by desire to avoid external punishment. And that punishment was very real to me because it was always immediate and harsh.Late for school? Detention. Phone in class? Confiscated, sometimes detention. Didn’t take notes/do the homework? 0s in class, parents notified, not allowed to participate in sports, absolutely grounded. Skipping practice? Not allowed to participate in meets, possibly kicked off the team, definitely in trouble with Mom and Dad. Don’t do chores? Time to get yelled at. Don’t take care of the chickens? They might die and then I’d be in huge trouble. Stay up too late? Yelled at.Everything I did was motivated not by desire to serve my own future, but desire to avoid immediate negative consequence. And I didn’t have hobbies for myself. I liked reading but I didn’t have much time for it. I didn’t play video games, surf social media, watch TV, go to the movies, or do anything purely for enjoyment’s sake.

When I went to college, all of that structure disappeared. I didn’t do a sport because I couldn’t compete at a Division I school (partially due to joint pain). My classes were large, long, and spaced out throughout the day, with weird breaks between them. Most professors didn’t care if we had phones or laptops, and often we actually needed them for class. Homeworks were due online, sometimes two weeks from when they were assigned. Grades were posted online. No warning for poor performance, no teacher giving me a talking to, no parent-teacher conference. Nobody told me when to do homework. Nobody told me when to eat (or to go grocery shopping). Nobody made sure I went to bed or got up in the morning. Nobody kept me from playing video games or scrolling social media all day.Nothing except my own desire to succeed held me accountable for managing my time and working hard in class, and like I said, I didn’t have that desire. People with ADHD don’t have that. Motivation and self-discipline stem primarily from aversion to negative long-term consequences, even more so than from desire to obtain positive outcomes. This is because negative emotion is felt more strongly and for a longer duration than positive emotion. It keeps neurotypical people on track. But people with ADHD lack the ability to “see” the long term consequences of not doing what we need to do, when it needs to be done. That’s why we are chronic procrastinators. We favor instant gratification over delayed gratification because we fail to integrate awareness of far-off consequences into our daily actions. In other words, people with ADHD struggle to orient their behavior towards their goals because it is difficult for our brains to recognize things in the future as real.

And so, because of all that stuff under the surface, I floundered and flailed. I didn’t know how to hold myself responsible and I didn’t know how to ask for help. And I was depressed. I was so depressed. And anxious. And losing weight because I wasn’t remembering to eat. And that made my body weak, it made my hands shake and it made my brain dull and foggy. I was being treated for depression and anxiety because nobody saw the other half of my history. The part where I crumbled the moment I had to hold myself up. It was missed entirely until I stumbled across information about rejection sensitive dysphoria, which is only experienced by people with ADHD, and I realized that rejection by my parents was what drove that fear of consequence that had been motivating me all my life. When I started looking at my history through the lens of inattentive ADHD, the picture became clear. It wasn’t laziness or depression that was stopping me, it was executive dysfunction.

So my point in all this is YES, it is 100% possible and is actually quite common for people with executive dysfunction to excel in structured academic environments. It’s especially normal for people whose ADHD is dominated by inattentive symptoms over hyperactive ones. One of the major reasons why many young women are not diagnosed until their late teens/early 20s is because they’re more often inattentive, not hyperactive, and so their executive dysfunction doesn’t become apparent until they enter an environment, such as university or a job, where they are expected to hold themselves entirely accountable for their own positive outcomes.

As for you personally, I can’t diagnose you. I can say that what you described is possibly a symptom of executive dysfunction, but I don’t know enough about you or your behavioral history to say whether or not you should consider seeking a professional opinion. If you are experiencing deficiencies in your self-discipline/motivation/memory/attention that are disrupting your quality of life, and if you can identify those as patterns throughout your life history, then you may have reason to see a psychologist. If your symptoms are confined to inconsequential/nonessential things like reading a book you’ve been wanting to read, I wouldn’t worry about it too much as I’m fairly certain that’s a normal experience for most neurotypical people.

Anyways thanks for coming to my TED talk, sorry for taking fifty million years to get to the point.

alright. well today was pretty good overall. I had my alarm set for noon and woke up a few minutes before but didn't get out of bed until it went off. I had the vet appointment for 1 and it was only like 15 minutes away by bus so I had plenty of time. unfortunately I severely underestimated how long it was going to take to 1) find the cat carrier bag I have, and 2) actually get kitty into the bag, because she was NOT cooperating and I’m not entirely sure she’s ever going to forgive once she has to be in for a few hours when we fly to New York in like, 9 days lol. I basically had to hold her down and try to wrangle the zipper closed at the same time and let me tell you, it was not easy. but thanks to this delay we just missed the bus I was aiming for, and normally this wouldn’t have been an issue because the buses are scheduled for like every 10 minutes but for some weird reason on the schedule the next bus wasn’t coming for another solid half hour, like 12:57, and obviously that’s not going to work. At this point kitty was also meowing pretty much constantly, so I knew she was not pleased. I didn’t really have any other choice at this point so I called a lyft, I read on their website it’s driver discretion to whether they will let you have an animal with you and to call them as soon as you match to ask, but I matched and they were like right there a second later, so I just went over and asked and thankfully she was super chill and had a cat herself so she was like oh yeah no problem so that was a big relief to me. the car ride wasn't long and soon enough we got there, I filled out some paperwork and gave them the paperwork I had from when I adopted her so they could scan it into the system. Then we went into an exam room and got her out of the bag and let her run around the room a little bit, she’s of course very curious and wanted to explore everything, but once the vet was there she was pretty cooperative as far as not struggling too much to stay on the table and such, probably because they let her run around between things, and she got her rabies shot which was the main reason I was taking her in, since the paperwork I had said hers had expired in October. so we got that all figured out and they want me to drop off some cat poop for them lol so I may do that tomorrow. But yeah, everything was good, and unless something comes up we wouldn’t need to come back till next year, so that was good to hear. we managed to get kitty back into the bag, which was significantly easier to do with two people, and then we checked out (the vet is expensive, but oh well) then walked across the street to the bus stop, the next bus was coming in like 7 minutes so that was fine, it wasn't too terribly cold so it was bearable. she was still meowing a lot and once we got on the bus the other passengers were definitely like what the heck where is that meowing coming from lol but thankfully it wasn’t a long ride. walked the rest of the way back to my apartment and finally let her out for the day at least. I tried to give her a treat or something but she doesn’t like the ones we have for her so I tried to make her an egg because that’s something that’s a good human food for cats but she didn’t seem interested in that either, but oh well. hopefully she’ll forgive me sooner or later for this traumatic experience. I felt bad when we were waiting for the bus because on the street everything is of course very loud and scary and I’m sure was quite overwhelming. anyway. I made some lunch quickly then started on my baking project for the day, which is this like caramel candy roll which is like a vanilla nougat center wrapped in caramel. you had to make the nougat first and then let that chill, then make the caramel and let it chill before combining them. so I did all of that and didn’t really have any trouble, but it turns out I didn’t cook the nougat for long enough because it’s much more of a very sticky goop than actual nougat, and definitely will not hold shape, so that's a bust, even if it still tastes pretty good there’s not really anything I can do with it. so I may try that again, I should still have enough ingredients for a second batch. Once I was done with that I watched some baking shows until Jess came over for the final night of the crossover, and we got food of course. This was technically the Supergirl episode, so it was a bit more focused on her, which also meant we got more of Superman and Lois, which made me happy. Not to start at the end but their ending announcement and subsequent proposal was pretty damn great, even if I know it was really just a convenient way to have Clark be off earth for the rest of the season. But I really liked their whole relationship and everything we saw with them. the rest of the episode was pretty good, the alternate star labs stuff run by evil superman was pretty painful (especially Alex in that godawful wig and apparently very in the closet which was awkward as hell, but at least Kara got that line in there about her wanting a wife, it was still a bad choice on the writer’s behalf though. I’m of course intrigued by the decision made at the end by Oliver to the monitor that apparently saved Barry and Kara, and of course the promise of crisis on infinite earths coming next year which should certainly be interesting. the fight sequences were pretty good, and I’m kinda drawing a blank on anything else in the episode I had an opinion on so I guess I’ll leave it there. Solid crossover overall, can’t help but thing they didn’t want the legends in it because they would’ve solved it a hell of a lot sooner 😂😂😂. Once it was over Jess headed out and I watched Black Lightning, though tbh I wasn’t paying all that much attention. The Jennifer and Khalil stuff has been really good though, and I thought it was an interesting choice to not have her reunited with her family before the hiatus, so we’ll have to see where that goes. After that I watched more baking shows until I decided to start getting ready for bed and now I’m here. no concrete plans for tomorrow other than the podcast broadcast at night, so we’ll see how the day goes. it’s now 1:15 am, so that should probably be my cue to go to sleep now. Goodnight my loves. Hope you had an awesome day.