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#I remember how me and my friends used to sit on the floor outside the classroom waiting for the teacher to open it
tsubaki94 · 2 years
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#*problems occur on a project multiple ppl r working on* my boss @ me: what do u wanna do?#me. disastrously burnt out: i couldnt not even to give a fuck abt all this. i dont care i dont care i dont care#but thats not what i say. i say ok ill talk to the ppl and see how i can drop everything to help. and that probably means driving an hour#away to the other uni which is irrationally terrifying to me to the point where it will probably destroy my whole week a prevent me from#sleeping when i already am struggling to sleep. but its fine. ill get it done and itll be fine. for this stupid fucking project i dont#care abt. ay its so weird. ive never been this angry abt things. i mean its not even really anger its more dispair and frustration but it#manifests as just wanting to scream and throw a fit like a toddler. and i mean its my fault. i dont have to live the way that i do. i mean#i do but in an irrational compulsive way that i cant entirely control. but like its Saturday and i sepent 6 and a half hours taking#measurements and then met with my boss for like an hour and she was showing me cool imagines and talking abt cool new collaborators at her#new school and im just sitting there trying to maintain a smile bc my brain is semi disconnected from my body and im so exhausted#ugh. my brain is so fucked rn. i dont want to drive with even lower functioning thsn usual. and i was gonna meet my friend Tuesday morning#for once. and i might have to drive back and forth multiple days. ans what's my reward if were successful? two fucking weeks of watering#and measurement taking and i might have to stand around other ppl in all that time as well. usually im off spinning in circles by myself#amd looking unapproachable. i dont want to have to b a person around the undergrads#god im so weird. its like from the outside perspective if u were looking thru the window at me u would see me using a hammer and assume im#putting something together and i am but im also hammering nails thru my hand which no one asked me to do#so then why do i have to do it? ugh. thats y its a hard thing to complain abt bc ppl r like oh it sounds like ur compulsive habbits make u#productive and successful and yea sure but they're also destroying my life. im laying on the floor doubled over in pain and ppl r like oh#look how useful u r. who gives a fuck everything feels stretched and distorted like im suffering some sort of selfimposed Devin punishment#whatever. fuck this. tomorrow ill try my hardest to relax. literally i cant remember the last time i stayed in bed until at least 7am. ugh#but i also have some bullshit i have to get done tomorrow so well see#uuuuuugh let me leave this place @ schools send me ur official offers pls i wanna plan out my life for the next 5yrs#unrelated
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steviesbicrisis · 5 months
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A Barbie AU where the Kens decide, in order to get some recognition, to get individual names.
Steve, who’s just a Ken very good with kids, is having an identity crisis after his Barbie, journalist Barbie, broke up with him.
Not even picking a name as unique and special as Steve, so much different than Ken, managed to cheer him up.
Everyone keeps saying he should be happy about the change, and discover who he is outside of Barbie’s orbit, but he can’t see what was so wrong in their relationship. He loved waiting all day for Barbie to look at him, even if it was for a brief second.
As if going through an existential crisis wasn't enough, he has to do it under the constant mocking of his archnemesis, Ke- Eddie.
Eddie, with his long curly and annoyingly gorgeous hair, who has a sense of style he would give all of his rollerblades for, and who's always there to notice whenever Steve makes a mistake.
Eddie even has his Barbie still by his side, cheerleader Barbie, and every time Steve sees them together he gets a sick feeling in his stomach, like a tummy ache. Doctor Barbie visited him a couple of times and found nothing wrong with him, he imagines he's a little jealous of Eddie for being with a Barbie.
Steve talks about this with Polyglot Barbie, his best friend, annoying her to death.
"Why are we talking about Ken, again?" she interrupts Steve's retelling of his last encounter with Eddie.
"It's Eddie" Steve corrects her.
"Right," she nods. She's very supportive of their silly-name-thing (how most Barbies call it), but she still has trouble remembering all the names, "why are we still talking about him?"
They're hanging out at the park, sitting under a tree, Barbie's leg on top of his, and they're holding hands. It's nice. Steve is happy to have a best friend like Barbie.
Steve looks up, meeting Eddie's gaze. He's sitting at one of the picnic tables not far away from them, doing nothing besides glaring at Steve.
Barbie squeezes his hand to get his attention back, and Steve looks away.
"Because he keeps tormenting me! he's even glaring at me right now, I'm gonna get stress wrinkles!" Steve finally replies, in a distressed tone.
"You're being dramatic," she says, matter-of-factly, "Eddie isn't so bad with you. You know, he kinda treats you like his Barbie."
If Steve had a beating heart, it probably would've stopped right at this second.
"What?"
"You know, he's always looking for you, he is always giddy whenever you give him a crumble of attention. He hangs out where you hang out... why do you think he's sitting all alone at a picnic table, just staring at you?"
"Maybe he's waiting for his girlfriend" he suggests.
"Are you talking about Cheerleader Barbie?" she giggles, "she's not his girlfriend, trust me."
"But he picks on me! all the time! Like this morning, I tripped and he made a comment about my legs!" He gestures at his legs with his free hand.
Barbie tilts her head to the side "you mean this morning at the beach when he held you in his arms for ten minutes to prevent you from falling and Barbie had to tell him to let you go?"
"… yeah” he manages to say. He hadn’t realized how long Eddie held him in his arms, he was upset about almost falling in front of him, but he also liked the feeling of his arms around him.
Everything feels different now.
Barbie's look softens "How does this make you feel?"
"I don't know" he answers, honestly "I just can't stop thinking about him."
A loud noise at their right startles them off of their conversation. They turn around to see Eddie lying on the floor, a trash can at his feet.
Steve doesn't give himself the time to realize that Eddie has probably heard their entire conversation and has tripped on that trash can because of it, he just rushes to Eddie's side to help him out.
Eddie stammers while Steve pulls him back up, not making much sense.
Steve is used to see Eddie as an intimidating guy, someone to compete with for Barbie’s attention. He never realized how much he liked to have Eddie’s attention instead, nor how he loved to give that attention back in equal amount.
“Nice legs” he tells him, repeating the same words Eddie told him that morning.
Eddie stops his incoherent stream of words when he hears him “what?”
“You heard me” Steve says.
“I did” Eddie admits. He pulls the trash can back up, to have an excuse to not look at Steve when he asks “you can’t stop thinking about me?”
For some reason, that’s the easiest question Steve has ever had to answer to “yes, I can’t.”
Eddie jolts back up startling Steve, the trash can falling out of his hands and hitting the ground once again.
“Cool” he says, using all of his willpower to hide his excitement by keeping a relaxed face, failing miserably.
“I guess” Steve grins. Knowing he has that effect on Eddie is making him the most confident he has ever felt in his life.
“So, since you can’t stop thinking about me…” Eddie repeats, in a tone that Steve would’ve mistaken for a mocking one until few hours ago “…we could hang out on the beach later. I’ll bring my guitar.”
“I’ll bring mine too then” Steve replies immediately.
Eddie panics “We can’t both have a guitar!”
Steve crosses his arms on his chest “who says that?”
Eddie opens and closes his mouth a couple of times then mutters, defeated, “fine.”
“Great!” Steve takes a step forward and gives Eddie a peck on his cheek “I’ll see you later.”
Eddie, who makes a face again trying to hide his excitement, nods and turns away “cool.”
He walks away slowly, towards the park’s exit. Right by the gate, he throws himself into an hedge. Steve can clearly hear him when he screams words along the lines of “FINALLY”, “I HAVE A DATE” and “SUBLIME”.
Steve turns to Robin who has witnessed the whole thing, while Eddie is still screaming random words from the bushes.
“I think I’m in love.”
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lizzieisright · 19 days
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I actually asked another creator this too, but if your requests ARE open, can you do a comfort fic where Abby starts dating reader and it's like her first relationship outside of a manipulative/controlling/abusive relationship? where abbys just super sweet and reassuring and just :((
I love your writing sm so!!
Palestine: what can you do
I'm ready to suffer (and I'm ready to hope)
Okay actually I saw these amazing women who are paediatric PTs on youtube and thought Abby would make an amazing paediatric PT, so this is modern au! 
Tw for the mentions of abusive situations. 
/-/-/-/-/-/-
When you finally leave Sandy you swear to not ever date again.
And you don’t.
You find a therapist and start spending more time with your friends again. They’re incredibly supportive of you and they don’t let you sit at home, always asking you to hang out or go somewhere. They’re eager to introduce the world back to you and it’s wonderful, but you’re exhausted. Sandy took every piece of you and it's damn hard work to gain it back, and dealing with the fear of being shamed for not having a good time when your friends put so much effort into it is very hard. It takes a lot of reminders from them to make you feel okay, but somewhere in your mind you still expect them to blow out on you. They never do.
And you start to feel like you’re in a good place now. Of course, when we feel like we’re finally free, the Universe needs us to remember how much work is still ahead of us. Your reminder comes to your work at the end of the work day on Friday with a bouquet of lilies that smell as suffocating as the person holding them.
“Hi baby.” Sandy smiles at you, but you don’t move closer than 3 feet. You want to go around her if she had a bomb in these flowers.
The good thing - you expected it. You weren’t surprised to see her here, so she lost her element of shock that would have disarmed you.
“What do you want?” You ask coldly.
“Come on baby, it’s Friday! I thought it would be a good time for us to go on a date, discuss what happened and you know, make up. I miss you.”
You clench your fists. She wants to discuss what happened - is she ready to admit her mistakes and change? Is it a sign that everything will work out this time?
No. No “this time”.
“I have plans.”
The angry furrow on Sandy's face just proves you made the right decision. The bouquet falls on the floor and she starts crying.
“I thought you loved me!” Sandy howls and your colleagues are now paying attention to the whole situation. “You have a date, don't you? Already moved on, huh? Fucking slut.”
It's humiliating, but you understand with horror that you're used to it. It's not the first time when your coworkers see Sandy in this state.
“I'm just hanging out with Niki.” You reassure Sandy because you don't want to hurt her - she is a human after all and she was always so jealous, so insecure about your loyalty. People betrayed her in the past, and you have a hard time blaming her.
“Of course, the moment I'm out of the picture Niki is there to lick your wounds! I bet she does more than just licking your wounds.”
The shame flares up and you take a breath. You slipped up. You fell for her shit again.
“It doesn't concern you anymore.”
You don't wait for her answer, too scared she will get to you again. You turn around and go into the office where she will not be allowed to follow.
At your next appointment with your therapist, you're pissed off at yourself.
“Why did I even speak to her? I knew it would end badly!”
“Well, it's normal to speak to people when they speak to you. You told her you're busy and she tried to manipulate you again, but you slowed down, noticed what she was doing, and made the right decision. I'd say this situation shows how much progress you've made. You protected yourself.”
These words bring you back to reality. You sigh.
“She will come to my work again.”
Dr. Spencer hums.
“You told me before that you would like to explore different opportunities in your work field. Maybe you should take yourself on that.”
This is how you end up getting a job as the nurse in a paediatric clinic. It is in a different place of the city and takes a different route, so Sandy won’t be able to catch you at a metro station if she tries. You don’t tell your colleagues where you’re going, just saying you wanted to take time for yourself and relax, removing the possibility of Sandy finding you again.  
You're excited - working with kids and helping them seems like an opportunity to heal something in yourself by doing something good. The head of the clinic, Sevika, gives you a tour after your final interview to meet the team and she also introduces you to the doctor you’ll be working with.
“Doctor Anderson?” Sevika calls when you enter the office. “Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah, hang on.” The voice of this woman is soft and friendly, and it reassures you.
“I want you to meet your new nurse.”
Something falls and you hear a children’s song playing and the room is not illuminated by different colours. Adorable.
“Sorry, it’s a mess here.” You hear her voice again and then Dr. Anderson emerges.
You just stare. She is tall and has broad shoulders, her compression shirt under her scrubs shows off her muscled arms - which is expected, she is a PT - her blonde hair is braided and her braid rests on her shoulder. Dr. Anderson is incredibly pretty, and you’re a woman enough to admit it and stay professional.
“Hi. I’m Abby.” Dr. Anderson smiles and holds her hand for a handshake.
You tell her your name and shake her hand - god, the grip these women have here.
“Would you walk Ms. (Y/n) through everything here?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Dr. Anderson shows you everything: where is all the equipment, the toys for kids, the changing room. She tells you all about the protocols - which you’re familiar with as well, except for dealing with overprotective parents and dealing with kids’ pain: at your previous clinic you mostly worked with adults.
“I’m very excited.” You admit after your tour is finished.
“Yeah?” Dr. Anderson grins. “Be prepared to learn a lot of baby songs.”
You laugh and feel very optimistic. You feel like you can have your life back now.
Your first day might not go as smoothly as you wanted, but Dr. Anderson is patient with you. She doesn’t snap at you when you follow her instruction wrong for the third time and doesn’t tell you off after patients leave. She just gives you tips and leaves it to you to correct it. You don’t know if she notices how you flinched in fear when you made a mistake the first time or if she is always like this, but you’re grateful anyway.
The kids are adorable and resilient, they don’t give up and it makes you cry a little. The way Dr. Anderson praises them and holds them and explains to parents what she is doing is admirable. Watching her hold a 3yo toddler on her palms is equally impressive and attractive. Dr. Anderson is attractive, it’s hard not to be drawn to her, but you shove your emotions deep, deep down - it’s incredibly unprofessional. You complain about it to Dr. Spencer and she just chuckles and reminds you, “Attraction happens unconsciously and you can’t control it, so stop fighting it.” It annoys you that she is right.
After three months working together you become friends and you call Dr. Anderson Abby now. Because honestly, she looks absolutely ridiculous in her Hello Kitty cap. You find your rhythm and now you work extremely smoothly - you know exactly when the kid needs to be distracted or when Abby needs your help during different exercises.
And Abby doesn’t tell you - because she is also aware how unprofessional she is - but she adores you. You’re so good with kids it makes Abby jealous sometimes, how you somehow know what exactly will stop the kid from crying. You’re also good with her - you take as much as possible from her shoulders and Abby now has someone to rely on.
She knows she is ears deep in love when you send her a video of a bright squeaky octopus and tell her you’re going to buy it for her office and then a few days later you admit to her that it’s actually a dog toy and you got in a pet section. Abby cackles and promises not to tell anyone. Especially since the octopus is a hit with a few kids she is treating.
Abby is desperate. She knows she can’t ask you on a date, but love makes a fool out of the best of us, so on the day that marks four months since you’ve been working together, Abby goes to Sevika’s office to embarrass herself.
“You’re embarrassing yourself, Dr. Anderson.” Sevika tells her as much. “Ms. (Y/n) is not employed by you and you have no authority over her. Ask the girl out and don’t waste my time. If it goes south I’ll just send her to Grayson.”
“Thanks, Sevika.”
“Get the fuck out, Anderson.”
Abby laughs and goes back to work, hopeful.
And Abby is not delusional - you do like her. She is caring and patient and funny as hell. But you’re too scared both because you’re her nurse and because as much as you work in therapy, Sandy doesn’t let go of you. Dr. Spencer had to deal with your multiple spirals after you started working with Abby and fucking up or thinking you’re fucking up. “Now name me 10 things that are different about Dr. Anderson and Sandy” was said at least 5 times. Well, your life is routine based so you schedule your spirals once a month, it seems.
So yes, you like Abby a lot. But you’re so broken that when Abby finally gains courage and,
“Do you have plans this weekend?”
“Sleep for 12 hours counts?” You laugh, oblivious.
“Would you-“ Abby takes a big breath and now you’re panicking, scared she’ll tell you something mean. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
You just stand there and stare at her in shock. Abby gives you time, but her nerves are not that strong, so she gives up when the silence starts to feel too big.
“I’m sorry.” Abby says as politely as possible, not wanting to burden you with her disappointment. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I-uh- no, it’s okay! I just- I didn’t expect it.” You say while anxiety is buzzing inside you. “I upset you, I’m sorry.” You cringe when you understand you projected onto Abby again.
“Hey, it’s totally fine. I understand, believe me.” Abby smiles.
You’re too scared to agree - you don’t feel like you’re ready for dating - so you let the awkward silence fill the room.
That evening you spend overthinking, convincing yourself Abby deserves better, that you’re not good enough for her and you can’t involve her in your issues.
“So Dr. Anderson, who you like, likes you back?” Dr. Spencer asks when you retell her the whole story. “Why don’t you tell her you’d go on a date with her?”
“Because I’m not what she needs. She needs someone who is better than whatever I am.” Dr. Spencer nods compassionately. She wants to bring your attention to how you speak about yourself, but she chooses to go on a different route.
“Don’t take her choice away. Let her decide what she needs. After all, who is the expert on her needs?”
“She is.” You admit and feel like you can breathe again. You're not responsible for Abby's choices, so you can't decide for her. It makes you feel free.
Abby is not having the time of her life on Saturday evening, moping around and cringing at herself for asking you out and reading the situation wrong, when her phone rings. She sees your contact and her heart speeds up from anxiety and hope.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me. I-um. I’m sorry for yesterday, I was just- Sorry, not the point. Is your offer still standing?” You sound extremely nervous and it’s cute. Abby smiles and chuckles, happy.
“Yes. Of course.” She says softly and hears your shaky sigh. “Are you free tomorrow?”
You’re very nervous on your first date with Abby - you don’t want to upset her. So you dress and redress and redress until you think you don’t look too embarrassing. Abby smiles and compliments your outfit when she sees you, and some of your anxiety goes away. You’re painfully aware that you feel like you’re walking on eggshells during your date - Abby took you to an art gallery and then to dinner - and you know it’s not because of Abby. Abby has been so sweet and considerate the whole time and you’re sure she doesn’t feel comfortable with how tense you are at some moments, but the past still grips you tightly.
So you come clean to her when you go for a walk after dinner.
“I’m sorry I’ve been weird.” You start and Abby looks at you to show that she is listening. “My past relationship was not great and I’m dealing with the aftermath now. Sometimes it’s hard for me to stay grounded in reality.” You’re so deeply ashamed of yourself you can’t look at Abby. You expect her to dump you right away, or laugh at you, or call you weird, but nothing like this happens.
“Oh.” She says, surprised. She thought you were just shy, but it makes sense. “Thank you for telling me. Is it why you didn’t agree to the date when I asked you on Friday?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” You cringe, but Abby looks at you softly.
“Don’t. We all have our battles. I’m glad you called me back.”
You can’t help your smile. Abby can’t help but to ask if she can kiss you.
The first sign of how “not great” your past relationship was happens three weeks into dating. It was the end of the day and you were packing your things when your phone made a sound. You quickly checked it and then looked at Abby, panicked. Abby stops packing her bag, worried.
“Did something happen?”
“N-no. My friend just texted me. She asked me if we could go for drinks.” You admit, scared to lie to Abby and scared she will not be pleased with you. “Can I?”
“Can you what?” Abby asks, confused, but your mind is registering it as anger. You take a breath to calm down.
“Can I go? If you don’t want me to, I won’t, I promise.”
Abby stops completely. Her heart breaks when she understands what is happening, and why it’s happening.
“Baby, hey. Take a breath, yeah?” She speaks softly and comes closer to you to hold your hands gently. “I’m not going to be mad if you go anywhere, especially to meet your friends. You don’t need to ask my permission, okay? You’re your own person with your own life.”
You sniffle and Abby coos and hugs you tightly.
“I’m sorry.” You say into her shoulder. “I just-“
“It takes time to heal. I understand.” You cry even harder in her arms. “I promise I’m not going to be mad about it. Can’t be sure about Kyle though.”
You laugh through your tears - Kyle is a two year old who is obsessed with the noises you can make. It’s the only thing that keeps him calm when he does his exercises, and you have to be in the room during his appointments.
“Thank you.” You tell Abby honestly and she kisses your forehead.
You’re still nervous when you go to see Niki the next day, but Abby just tells you to be safe and call her if you need her, and that she can pick you up if you want her to. You’re not sure, and you tell her that, and that you will text her if you change your mind. It’s scary, to put a boundary, but Abby just kisses your cheek and tells you to have fun.
“You look so happy.” Niki tells you after you caught up on mundane news and gossip.
“I’m actually dating someone.” You confess and Niki's mouth hangs open in a dramatic shock.
“Really? And how is it going? What’s her name? Do you have a picture?”
“Her name is Abby. We work together, and she is amazing.” You giggle and show Niki one of the pictures you took together when you were fooling around at the clinic.
“Wow. She looks strong.” Niki winks and you get flustered. “I hope she treats you well.”
“I told her about Sandy. She has been very patient with my bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit.” Niki frowns, stubborn. “Sandy is a fucking psycho and she really hurt you.”
“Abby told me she can pick me up if I want her to, but I’m not sure. It’s hard to understand what is normal behaviour and what is not.” You admit and Niki squeezes your bicep, showing her support.
“Well, when we hung out while you were with Sandy, she texted you constantly and then showed up ten minutes later to drag you out of here.”
“It wasn’t like this at first.”
“No, at first she was just constantly texting you and asking you about stupid shit.” Niki says pointedly and eyes your phone that hasn't made a sound during the whole evening. "I think your girlfriend just cares about you. You know, like a decent person."
You end up texting Abby and asking her to come when you and Niki feel like it’s time to go home. Abby replies with a thumb up, and then 20 minutes later she enters the pub and smiles at you. You introduce Niki to Abby and they shake hands while you laugh at Niki’s face when she gets to experience a handshake with a PT.
“Are you ready to go or do you guys want to have some more time? I’ll wait.” Your heart feels swollen from feelings: Abby is so sweet you can’t help but nuzzle into her side. “I feel like this is the answer.” She chuckles and Niki coos at you two.
“Let’s go.” Niki smiles like a fox, happy to see you happy.
“Do you have a ride?” Abby asks Niki while she gives you her forearm to hold on to. “We can drop you off.”
“No, I called a taxi already.” She smiles and winks at you.
When you go outside Abby takes off her jacket and places it around you shoulders and you smile like a lovesick idiot. It’s not even this chilly, but Abby still thinks of your comfort.
When Niki is safe in her taxi, you both get inside Abby’s car as well.
“Did you have fun?”
“Yeah.” You smile.
“Good.”
The fights, as it turns out, are not scary or loud or violent - you’re baffled by the fact that Abby actually listens to you when you voice your concerns. You expect her to lash out or tell you you’re imagining things or that you’re making a villain out of her, but nothing like this happens. Abby has her own issues: she is very problem-solving focused and her first reaction is “how can I/we fix this”, and it hurts when you actually want her to comfort you, but you both learn how to deal with it. You honestly can’t even call them fights, they’re more like troubleshoots.
What is scary is that the first few times when you voice your problems and Abby reacts like a normal person, you bottle up your anxiety. You exhaust yourself with overthinking: is Abby going to leave you? Are you too much to handle? Are you being a burden? How long before your stupid whims will make Abby sick of you?
You can’t bear it. You see how patient Abby is with kids, how she pushes them just enough for them to progress and evolve, how kind she is, how she calls them “sirs” and “ma’ams” when they do something on their own, and all you can think is that you don’t deserve her. How amazing Abby is and how fucked up you are, and how much problems you cause.
You’re spiralling, and you know it, able to recognise your own insanity now, but you can’t stop it. But the one thing Dr. Spencer taught you is to speak up, and one day, when you’re at Abby’s place, you find your courage to speak up.
“Am I being too much?”
“Hm?” Abby is confused. She is often confused when your issues come out of nowhere. “What do you mean?”
“Will you break up with me because I ask for too much?” You ask quietly, really trying to ignore how your voice shakes because you’re on the verge of tears.
Abby stares at you for a second, but in the next she is hugging you. The dam inside you breaks and you sob into her chest, letting all anxiety go out.
“I will not leave you. I’m here. You don’t ask for too much, baby, you barely ask for anything. Ask for more, ask the world from me, okay? Ask for the most ridiculous shit, it’ll only make me love you more.” Abby murmurs and your sobs get louder. “Let it out, yeah, let it out. I love taking care of you, it’s my favourite thing in the world.”
“I’m just so scared.” You say into Abby’s chest as you cling to her. “I want to be deserving of you.”
“Baby, you’re deserving of me just by existing. You’re here and this alone makes me happy.”
Abby lets you cry it out and then brings you some water when you calm down. You are still vulnerable and anxious, but Abby cuddles you and talks to you to soothe you. 
“Do you think I'm weak?” You ask her ten minutes later and Abby chuckles. 
“Quite the opposite, actually. I don't think if I went through what you did I would ever let myself trust someone again. But you are brave. And you're so incredibly kind and thoughtful. The only weakness you have is probably sweets.” You both chuckle. “And I'm very angry that there's a person who dared to hurt you like this and put this bullshit into your head. Honestly, can you give me her address? I know exactly how to break her bones.”
“Can you promise to tell me if dealing with me gets tiring?”
“Of course.” Abby promises you genuinely, because she knows this moment might come - she is only human. But she knows that even when this moment comes, she will be by your side. 
+ 1 nsfw
When you first have sex you're both very worked up and you cling to Abby impatiently, clawing at her shirt and her pants, not really sure what you want to be gone first. Abby thinks it's cute, how needy you are, and she tells you as much before she can think.
“Someone is needy, huh?” She teases you and expects you to get flustered, but instead you freeze and look at her, wide eyed and hurt. 
“Sorry.” You say, ashamed, and Abby's heart breaks. She takes your face into her palms and looks into your eyes with such tenderness you have to look away. 
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like this. I like how enthusiastic you are. It makes me feel wanted.” Abby smirks and your cheeks heat up. “Is there… is there anything I need to be careful about?”
“I’m not really good at sex.” You admit. “I wasn't able to make my ex cum.” You don't tell Abby the whole story, you don't want to ruin the mood, but Sandy was never happy with your skills: she had to watch porn on her phone to get aroused when you topped. And she hated when you didn't do as she wanted when you bottomed and how needy and pathetic you were. 
“Well. I don't trust your ex’s opinion since she is a piece of shit.” Abby smirks. “And sex it not about destination-”
“It’s about the journey, I know.” You chuckle. Dr. Spencer likes this saying so much. You take a breath and brace yourself: you know sex is not a place where you can hide something from Abby without hurting you both. Honesty is crucial in sex. “I don't think I can undress fully. Can I leave my shirt on?”
“Of course. Can I- can I still touch you under it? I really wanna feel how soft your tits are.”
You hide your face in embarrassment and giggle. You nod and Abby kisses your cheek.
“If you don't enjoy something, tell me, yeah? And if you want we can really make your ex look stupid.” 
“How?”
“With you I really don't need much to cum. One stroke wonder if you will.”
You snort and hit Abby's shoulder. 
“You're horrible.”
Abby grins and kisses you. You do make Sandy look stupid that night, when Abby's thighs close around your head and she cums on your face so hard your ears start to ring. 
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sturniologals · 2 months
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Car ride-M.S
Reader x Matt
-; warnings Smut (obvi), Praise kink, Dom!Matt, Cursing.
1.8k Words
My childhood best friend matt is standing outside of his house waiting on his date to pick him up and I can’t help but to wish that he would just walk across the street and confess his love for me and it would be us going out.
A black range rover pulls to the sidewalk, the street lamp on his sidewalk corner is the only light illuminating his features-and my god does he look good. I can feel my arousal growing as i shift on my bay window seat to try and get some friction but it does nothing.
Suddenly, the car is pulling away and matt is standing there looking annoyed, not sad- but bothered. I watch him start to walk up to his door but he stops at his porch steps and rubs his hands over his face in a stressful motion.
His cargo pants are hanging low on his waist and when his hands go up, his shirt strides up a bit revealing the bottom of his stomach. His V- line is perfectly carved and his skin looks oh so soft.
After a second of him seemingly stressing over something- he starts to walk over to my house.
This is an almost daily occurrence for us since the 3rd grade when i moved into this house and i started at the same elementary school as him but still- I can’t help but to feel the pit in my stomach anytime he comes over. My parents are gone out on their weekly date night so i’m home alone. The thoughts of what he could do to me race through my mind but they quickly shut off when i hear the doorbell and I quickly jog down the stairs, stopping in the hallway to check in the mirror, my freshly applied cherry lipgloss shining on my plump lips, my hair tied back in a low ponytail.
I take a moment to think about how i’m wearing just sweats and a t shirt but remember- it’s just matt. No need to stress, he’s seen me worse than this before.
I open up the door and matt is standing at my doorstep, anxiously cracking his knuckles. When i open the door wide enough for him to come in- he quickly does so. He doesn’t say anything and just starts to jog up my stairs, headed straight on the path to my bedroom that he’s came to know so well over the last 8 years.
“Matthew!” I shout trying to catch up with him.
I make it to my room, where he’s already sitting on my bed, his back against the headboard. He’s already discarded his sneakers onto the floor and is now draping one of my fuzzy blankets over his legs.
“Cmere y/n” he says as he throws an arm up for me to cradle into. this isnt anything weird for us. we’ve always been this close but in the last year, matts started to look different. better. His hair grew out and he started to dress better. He hit puberty which came with him growing to a 5 foot, 11 inches. compared to my 5 foot, 2 inches.
I don’t question him and i just crawl into my bed next to him and rest my head on his chest as his arm falls down and starts to rub up and down my arm. After a moment or so of silence, I start to debate on whether to ask what happened with his date.
“Matt?” i say, slightly tilting my chin up so i can see his face.
“Yeah y/n?” he says looking down at me.
“What happened with your date?” i say after finally working up the courage.
“Uhm-“ he shifts his body uncomfortably but continues to speak. “Mackie thought it was just a friend thing, i guess. so when she showed up and she had a bunch of friends with her, I got kind of annoyed and just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” He says in an unbothered tone.
“Wasn’t you clear on the fact that you liked her?” i say in a quiet voice.
“Woah not a fact. I didn’t like her, i was just slightly attracted to her and i just needed to-“ He stops talking and clears his throat. I can feel my cheeks go red as my mind understands what he’s trying to say and I feel a bulge grow beside my leg. i decide this is my chance to tease him.
“Ma-“ i start to sit up but he shoots up quickly “wanna go get food?” he says quickly standing up and putting his sneakers on. I am kinda hungry.
“Uhm yeah sure” I say with an awkward smile as i grab a blue hoodie out of my closet to throw on over my black t shirt.
“Ready?” he says, standing in my doorway. I nod and we go downstairs, I grab my car keys off the table and we both walk out the door.
“You drive” I say, tossing him the keys over the roof of my dark purple jeep Cherokee. He smiles and slides into the drivers seat.
I get into the passenger side and he immediately reaches over to buckle my seat belt. He’s done this ever since I was able to drive. He says i forget to do it so he just does it for me. His long, slender fingers sliding the buckle in sends a shiver down my spine. He turns on the ignition and I make sure my body is angling toward him. I pull my cherry lipgloss out of my pocket and apply it, once i feel his eyes on me, I move extra slow and run my tongue across my lips, acting as if i’m not paying attention to him but i can see him staring at me out of the corner of his eyes. “fuck” he mutters extremely quietly.
“Hm?” I say, turning my head back to face him.
“uh” he shakes his head “matt, are you okay?” i roll his name off of my tongue as seductively as i can as i lean over the middle console. We stop at a red light and i take the opportunity. “matt, look at me” he does so.
“Your acting weird.” i say once his eyes meet mine.
“You know what your doing y/n” he says lowly before the light turns green and he adverts his attention back to the road.
“I don’t know what your talking about.” i say with a slight giggle as he continues the drive to central downtown. “You know the reason mackie thought it was a friend thing is because of you right? she thinks we’re together.” matt says harshly while pulling over by a dark, empty field. “you’re gonna cock block me and then have the audacity to rile me the fuck up like this?”
His eyes grow dark as he unbuckles his seat belt and puts the car in park. His hand starts traveling up my thigh.
“I cock blocked you? how is that my fault that she thinks we’re together?” i spit out, my breathing heavy at the feeling of his touch.
“I see you y/n, eye fucking me anytime we’re near each other. You’ve been having those thoughts for a while now yeah?” He says, leaning extremely close now, our faces inches apart.
“Matt-“ my breathing hitches when he unbuckles me and pulls me onto his lap so i’m now straddling him.
“Fuck y/n. that lipgloss.” he says in a shaky voice while bringing his thumb up to my lips.
“Matt- don’t touch me if you don’t have feelings for me because you know damn well that i-“ i start to rant but he quickly presses his mouth to mine. I pull away quickly.
“So you do-“ i try to speak but his mouth is on mine again. His lips as soft as i thought they would be. His hands traveling up my sides, his grip firm as i feel his dick harden underneath me. I groan against the feeling as his tongue swipes against my lip seeking for entry which I allow. Our tongues gliding across one another in a fight for dominance. “Please” i groan quietly into his ear.
“please what baby? use your words.”
“touch me” i say into his ear as i start to kiss down his neck. he wastes no time as his hands quickly start to slide my sweatpants off. I move with him to make it easier for him to glide my pants off.
“fuck your drenched” he says breathlessly as he starts to rub my clothed pussy.
“Matt” i moan out.
“hm?”
“more” i  pant out.
“more of what baby? tell me what you need.” he says while kissing my neck. his lips tugging and nipping at my sensitive skin.
“you matt- i want-“ my face goes red not wanting to say it.
“Say it baby. use your words.”
“i want your dick” i muster up the courage to spat out. He shifts underneath me and lets out a whimper at my words. his erection must be painful by now. He quickly slides his pants down to his thighs and lets his member spring free from the confines of his boxers, the tip red and swollen, already leaking pre cum.
“It’s too big-“ i say starting to panic at his at least 8 inches.
“your gonna be a good girl and take it, yeah?” he says and i nod eagerly. He places his hands on my hips and i help guide him to my entrance, his tip gathering in my juices before sliding into me causing me to let out a loud moan. He gives me barely any time to adjust before he’s ramming into me at a steady pace.
“Your so tight” he grunts out before leaning his head back against the seat.
“Ma-“ my words are cut off by the involuntary noises that start stringing from me when he starts to fuck up into me. I can already feel my release building and by the way his legs are shaking i can tell he’s almost there too. “Such a good girl” he praises which makes me go faster chasing our highs.
“Fuck y/n-“ he grunts out as i release onto him with a yell and he shoots his load into me. His thrusts slow down, riding out our high as we both slow our breathing. He pulls out and i rest my head on his shoulder.
“you know i love you right?” he says quietly, almost as if he’s afraid i’ll actually hear.
“you’re not just saying that because of what just happened are you?” i say quickly out of fear.
“Fuck no. No y/n, I just never knew that you felt like that about me until tonight.” He says while petting the back of my hair soothingly.
“I love you too matt” i say, placing a quick kiss onto his lips.
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haosweater · 6 months
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crimson white snow
content: seongjoong x gn! reader, angst, soulmate au, hanahaki au. warnings: profanities, descriptions of throwing up, mention of blood.
summary: when your best friends are each other’s soulmates, how do you tell them that your red string is tied to both of their pinkies?
word count: 4.3k words
note: this initial idea came to me in 2021 and i let it collecting dust until a few days ago lol. i hope you guys enjoy this one!
in a friendship– a trio, specifically, you believed that each person represented either the sun, moon, or stars.
in your case, seonghwa was the sun, hongjoong was the moon, and you were the stars. the three, inseparable friends who loved each other more than anyone else to ever breathe on earth.
but when they all turned sixteen and were blessed with the gift of the sight of their red strings, everything changed.
when seonghwa looked down at his ring finger, candles blown out, he found the red string to be very much shorter than he expected. as his eyes trailed down the string, he looked up at hongjoong, tears brimming in the corner of his eyes.
that’s when you all knew.
hongjoong’s birthday came around, and the sight of his red string connected to seonghwa relieved him. there was a sort of euphoria and satisfaction that filled them both. unspoken feelings that had blossomed into something more were now affirmed by the universe itself.
you, of course, were elated. the two boys you’d considered your best friends for years were soulmates. their souls were intertwined, bound to love each other for eternity. the twinge of jealousy in your heart was quickly ignored as you celebrated their love, congratulating the two.
most, would call it fate.
but your birthday confirmed that whatever god there was had made a mistake. a very horribly, big mistake.
it was snowing.
you remember because hongjoong was flushed when he came in your room. he only turned red– both cheeks and ears, when he was embarrassed or cold.
he sighed, promptly making himself at home. laying on your shoulder, the warmth of his breath tickled your ear. you shivered, your grip on his hand tightening promptly. he didn’t mind. hongjoong liked holding your hands strangely enough.
“i know it’s your birthday,” hongjoong mumbled, snuggling against you. “but you’ll indulge me for a bit, yeah?” he asks as you chuckle.
“of course, joong. anything for you.”
the boy hums in satisfaction, letting out a soft sigh. he shuts his eyes, mumbling about how seonghwa was late because he got delayed at his club, or something along those lines.
you hum in acknowledgement, knowing that your other friend was definitely getting you a cake. you’d overheard the two discussing it a week prior.
the soft footsteps that grew closer alerted you of seonghwa’s arrival. it was funny– while hwa was indeed very quiet, the sound of his socks against your wooden floor was unmistakable.
hongjoong yawned, sitting up. the soft knock you anticipated came as you chuckled. “come in, hwa.”
the sight of seonghwa pouting as he entered made you laugh even harder. “how’d you know it was me?” he asked, carefully balancing the cake box as he closed the door. “it was joong, wasn’t it?”
“hey man, i didn’t say anything,” he raised his hands, proclaiming his innocence.
“you both aren’t that slick, you know,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. seonghwa laughs at your reaction, putting a smile on your face.
“humour us, sweetheart?”
you pretend to contemplate, humming as joong cackled beside you. “hmm, i’ll cut you both some slack,” you announce. hwa rolls his eyes, but the grin on his face speaks volumes.
turning your attention to the box, you watch as seonghwa opens it, taking out the most beautiful cake you had ever seen. “oh my god,” you marvelled at the sight of it.
the heart-shaped cake was pure white, similar to the snow that fluttered down outside. the crimson red icing that decorated he cake made you smile. it was a beautiful cake, an image that would be etched into your memory forever.
“this is beautiful, seonghwa,” you whisper, glancing up at him. “thank you.”
he smiles back, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “anything for you sweetheart. we know how much you’ve been waiting for this day.”
you sat in front of your cake, hongjoong and seonghwa across you with the biggest smiles on their face. blowing the candles out, you look down at your hands, filled with excitement. finally, it was your turn to find out who your soulmate was. however, when you look down, you are stunned.
to your complete and utter horror, you see two strings tied around each of your pinkies.
eyes gazing down at the crimson red string, you nearly choke on air when you see one end tied to seonghwa’s pinky, while the other, was neatly wrapped around hongjoong’s.
“what’s wrong?”
seonghwa’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts. you felt sick to your stomach. oh, how cruel the universe was. how cruel fate was.
“i- i… what the fuck?” you whisper harshly, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes. “i don’t have a string,” you lie so easily, straight through your teeth. “i don’t have a soulmate.” you lied so well.
that was the first lie you ever told the two, but there was no guilt in the lie. all you could feel was confusion and anger. nothing else.
hongjoong takes your hands into his with a sad smile. “and that’s completely fine, y/n. we’re always here for you,” he reassures you calmly. seonghwa does the same and you feel like crying even harder as you see your strings tangle.
you relished in their touch, their fingers feel so soft, skin warm against your cold hands. you felt safe in their presence, the comforting aura they let out never failing to make you smile. it was bittersweet.
if only you didn’t detest the sight of the red strings around their pinkies. the crimson red thread, a painful reminder to you that this was a reality you couldn’t escape.
there were always myths about the poor souls that the universe decided to curse: the one’s with no soulmates.
if people with no soulmates were cursed by the universe, how about the one’s with two? how about the one’s whose soulmates were each other’s forever, but not theirs? how about you?
you didn’t know.
so you left.
after graduating, you moved overseas. of course the two were there to wish you goodbye. being friends for thirteen years made it harder for you to leave.
you chuckled as seonghwa engulfed you in a tight hug, his tears soaking into your jacket. “don’t cry,” you whisper, stroking his head as hongjoong holds back his own tears, lips trembling. “i’ll be back before you know it.”
that was the second lie you ever told them, but there was no guilt in the lie. all you could feel was pity and self-hatred. nothing else.
you started a new life for yourself, burying yourself in studies, jobs and everything you could imagine to avoid going home.
despite all that, you never felt satisfied. there was this hole inside your heart that couldn’t be filled with materialistic goods, academic achievements nor work-place success.
there was nothing that could fill that hole seonghwa and hongjoong once occupied in your heart.
another problem had presented itself through all that turmoil, however, and that was the disease of unrequited love everyone so detested.
one would certainly think flowers were a congratulatory gift .
it started as a tightening feeling in your chest. your once light pants turn into desperate gasps for air before a sick, nauseous feeling takes over. a pounding headache, blurry vision, tears brimming in the corner of your eyes before the most sickening feeling begins to build in the pit of your stomach.
it grows and grows, bubbling like a cauldron before exploding, petals flying out of your mouth. elegantly prancing through the air, crimson red blood dripped off the petals, staining the pure white marble floor. the feeling would go on for another half an hour, or even longer. all you knew was that you wanted it to stop.
years passed, and yet, you could never grow accustomed to the wretched, metallic taste that lingered fervently on the tip of your tongue.
lilies and black dahlias now littered your bathroom floor, the once white marble tiles now painted in a mix of white, black, and crimson red.
still, you told nobody. your friends, family, coworkers– none of them knew about what you were going through.
god forbid hongjoong and seonghwa find out.
on a cold winter’s night, you had gotten an unexpected call from the two. five years had passed and not once had you gone back to see them.
guilt haunted you, always hovering around and never truly leaving. you wanted to see them. you wanted so desperately to throw yourself into their arms and never let them go them. if you were to loosen your grip, perhaps they’d slip through the cracks of your grasp and fade into nothingness.
you wanted to keep hongjoong and seonghwa for youself forever, but you were a fucking coward.
your phone rang. you had propped it up against the potted plant (orchids, your favourite) in the middle of your dining table. the plate of pasta in front of you was warm when you clicked your screen to receive their call.
“hi guys, sorry i’ve been so busy, work’s been crazy!” you immediately spew an apology to your friends, twirling the pasta with your fork. their lack of response has you confused and you look up. a loud gasp escapes you, fork clattering against the ceramic plate as it slipped out of your grasp.
“what the fuck?”
seonghwa’s ring finger is adorned with a beautiful sapphire stone, simple yet utterly gorgeous. the grin on both of their faces has you gaping at them, utterly speechless.
“you- you’re?” your gaze switches between the two males. you were so shocked you didn’t even realise seonghwa had bleached his hair. you were so shocked you didn’t even realise the tears that began to roll down your flushed cheeks.
“oh, no, y/n,” seonghwa coos with a frown. “don’t cry, sweetheart,” he whispers. “don’t cry.”
you sob, desperately trying to wipe the tears away. “i’m sorry, oh my god,” you inhale a sharp breath. “i’m so happy for you both– congratulations!” you smile, trying to hold back the building feeling in your chest.
seonghwa’s expression doesn’t change, but his eyes soften. “thank you darling,” he whispers with a sad smile. “you were the first person we thought of telling, y’know?” he chuckles softly.
god, seonghwa looked so beautiful smiling. you always loved how rosy his cheeks were, his eyes scrunched into the crescent moon. seonghwa’s smile was radiant, shining even brighter than the sun itself.
hongjoong takes the phone, eyes twinkling under the night sky. you recognised his apartment’s balcony all too well. “come home, y/n,” he says softly. it’s the most tender you’ve ever heard him. “come home for us please?”
your heart breaks. you’d never heard hongjoong so desperate. he was longing, yearning for you. he was pleading for you to come home– how could you refuse the request of your soulmate?
“of course, joong. anything for you.”
when the call ends, you run to your bathroom. you can feel the rising of petals, the all too familiar pain scratching your throat.
your knees hit the cold, marble flower, head hanging over the toilet bowl as you hurl out petals and vines. they scratch your throat, a permanent reminder of the unrequited love you faced.
the white and black petals scattered across the floor, blood dripping off them. it was a beautifully gruesome scene, like something out of an artistic horror movie.
you slump against the cold wall of your bathroom with a groan, wiping the blood dripping from the corner of your mouth. how you were going to be able to hide this from them? you had no idea.
unfortunately, you still hadn’t one when you walked out your gate.
it was a cold, cold day. you had a sweater on, hoodie layered over it for the extra warmth. palms clammy and sweaty, you gripped your bag tightly. god forbid hongjoong and seonghwa recognise you before you were emotionally and mentally prepared to see them for the first time in six years.
had they grown taller? were they as youthful as they once were? has their smiles stayed the same? had their voices deepened? did they still have the same dreadfully boring style? did they still wear the same cologne that clung to their clothes back then? were the bracelets you made them still sitting on their wrist all so beautifully? had–
“y/n!”
you jump at the shout of your name, looking up in shock. in front of you, just standing a few feet away, were kim hongjoong and park seonghwa.
eyes glistening with surprise, you look at them, voice stuck in the back of your throat. oh god, they looked so beautiful.
hongjoong hadn’t grown much, but he stood with confidence. his dark hair looked soft and silky, eyes bright and filled with twinkling stars. his cheeks stayed plump and full of life, a dusty pink that made you want to kiss them.
apart from seonghwa’s bleached hair, the next most obvious change was his height. he had grown almost a head taller, and yet, the sparkle in his eyes had remained. his cheeks were rosy, pink, plump lips curled into a bright, ethereal smile.
you feel years of emotions come crashing down on you. sadness, regret, pain, guilt— love. you burst into tears, wrapping your arms around the two men (not boys, you had to remind yourself).
“i’m sorry,” you apologise as hongjoong starts to cry, wrapping his arms around you. “i’m sorry joong, i’m sorry,” you buried your face into the crook of his neck, sobbing.
seonghwa comforted you with tears in his eyes, patting your head gently as he whispered sweet nothings to you. it seemed like deja vu to you, the whole scenario. if you hadn’t inhaled that sweet, floral scent that haw always wore that was mixed with the woody, musky scent hongjoong did, you’d think it all a dream.
as snow began to fall outside, the warmth radiating off the bodies of your soulmates made you realise how harsh this winter would be.
harsh it was indeed.
you’re about to pull your hair out before the ceremony begins. chewing at your bottom lip, your eyes dart around the venue, mind racing faster than you can comprehend.
“y/n.”
hongjoong’s voice sounds eerily deeper than you were used to. it sent shivers down your spine which made him laugh. “what’s wrong with you?” he asks in a cheeky manner as you huff.
“don’t blame me for not being used to your voice,” you lament, resting your elbow on his shoulder out of habit. “i still can’t believe how much you’ve changed.”
you look at the man with a grin and take note of the suit he’s wearing. it’s tailored to fit him perfectly, the details on it intricate and beautiful. the embroidered sun and stars, flowers and snowflakes adorned his clothing. you loved how he and seonghwa had gotten both their suits modified to have a more personal touch to them. it was artistic, elegant yet somewhat nostalgic.
the man sighs, glancing up at you. “it has been almost six years since we last saw each other,” he reminds you.
your body stiffens, rigid and filled with guilt. hongjoong notices this and frowns. “i didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he says and you nod.
you knew that. you knew that hongjoong wasn’t holding it against you, but you were holding it against yourself. the file was eating out you inside out, like a parasite clawing at your skin and tearing your flesh from bone.
“hey, y/n,” he says softly, hand reaching out to grab yours. “it’s okay,” he whispers, looking into your eyes with the most soft and genuine smile. “it’s okay.”
you nod again and he pulls you in for a hug. hongjoong’s embrace had always felt so safe. you feel yourself melt into it, and if you had closed your eyes, the both of you would’ve been sixteen all over again.
“i love you, y/n,” hongjoong whispers as your eyes widen with surprise. hongjoong had never told you that before. “never forget that,” he pulls away with a wink before bidding you goodbye and going to greet his coworkers.
you stood there, still stunned by his words. your heart was screaming, yelling at you for being so foolish as to not have said it back. however, ‘i am so painfully and desperately in love with you, kim hongjoong’ seemed a bit hard to shout back in the setting you were currently in.
“now, what on earth could you be thinking about right this moment that isn’t related to your two boyfriends?”
you’re snapped out of your thoughts by a warm, teasing voice. “yunho,” you smile at the blonde man who’s dressed nicely in a suit. “glad you could make it,” you lean in and hug him tightly. “haven’t seen you since high school.”
he chuckles. “yeah, you left right after graduation– i couldn’t make it to see you off,” he feigns a frown as you laugh, slapping his shoulder. “and please, as if hongjoong would let me live it down if i didn’t come,” you can’t help but roll your eyes at the oh-so-true statement. “you okay?”
“huh?” you look at him confused. “why wouldn’t i be okay?”
yunho shrugs. before you can question him further, you are distracted by yeosang’s mint hair. he walks over with a smile, waving at you. “what’s with that look on your face?”
you huff. “yunho asked me if i was okay and won’t tell me why he suspects otherwise,” you grumble as yeosang’s eyes widen. he shoots the taller male a flare and you stare at him in shock. “is there something i should be worried about?”
yeosang sighs. “well,” he begins, pausing as he pondered silently. “you have to promise not to take this badly,” he warns as yunho sends him a worried look. you nod slowly, anxiety filling you like water gushing into an empty bottle.
“you see, back when we were all in high school,” he begins hesitantly. “we all thought you had a crush on either joong or hwa,” he says as you feel your heart sink into the out of your stomach. “but we didn’t speculate, of course.”
you brush it off with a scoff. “me? like them?” you fake a laugh. “never. they…” you train off, looking at hongjoong who’s smiling from ear to ear, cheeks a rosy pink.
it’s oddly bittersweet to see the boy you once bickered with in elementary school now getting married to the boy that snuck jellies to you in class. turning back, you give yeosang a sad smile. “they’re made for each other.”
after greeting the rest of your old friends (and stopping wooyoung and san from crying before the wedding actually started), you leave the garden to visit seonghwa in his private suite.
one of seonghwa’s many request was for you to walk him down the aisle. it was sickening masochistic for you to accept the proposition, now that you thought about it. then again, who were you to back out now?
one, two, three knocks.
“come in,” seonghwa’s silky smooth and sweet voice fills your ears. you tap your keycard, opening the door gently. “hello sweetheart.”
you feel your cheeks warm up, heart fluttering. “hey, hwa,” you whisper, taking in how gorgeous he looked. adorned in a white suit, flowers, clouds, the moon and stars embroidered on the sleeves, the inner mesh material iridescent. “you’re breathtaking. like an angel.”
seonghwa’s cheek turn a darker shade of pink as he clears his throat. “thank you,” he whispers as you giggle, holding his hands. your thumbs traced his knuckles, admiring how slim and long his fingers were. “we missed you so much, y’know?”
you didn’t dare look up and remained silent. “we didn’t know how to go on with life as usual without you by our side,” he hummed with a small smile. “but i don’t care about all that now. i’m just glad you decided to come home.”
home.
you felt the pit of your stomach churn (you were certain it was your heart). to you, hongjoong and seonghwa were home. no matter how long you stayed in your chic studio apartment overseas, it never felt right.
hongjoong and seonghwa’s embrace did. it felt warm, comforting, lovely. you had to promise yourself to not get too attached to it.
“i’m sorry,” is all you can find yourself saying and thinking. “i’m sorry, hwa.”
seonghwa hushes you, his fingers brushing against your skin ever-so gently. he tucks your hair behind your ear with a smile. “it’s okay, y/n,” he leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. “you’re here now. that’s what matters.”
you wrap your arms around the blonde, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “i love you both so much,” you confess (unbeknownst to him). “i love you, park seonghwa and i am so happy for you.”
he smiles, hugging you back as a tear slips down his cheek slowly. “i love you too, y/n. i love you so much.”
relishing in the moment, you’re determined to make sure their wedding was perfect. you were going to push aside all personal feelings, ignore all the pain and sadness, and make sure that seonghwa and hongjoong had the best day of their life.
you were certain that nothing was going to go wrong that day.
oh, how wrong you were.
“i’m sorry, i can’t do this.”
seonghwa’s voice is soft, but audible. your head snaps up so fast, your neck could’ve broken. to be honest, you weren’t particularly paying attention to whatever the officiant was saying, assuming that both men were going to say ‘yes’ immediately.
you furrowed your brows in confusion, the gasps around you loud. lifting your head to look at the man, you find that he’s already looking at you.
“what are you doing?” you mouth, gasping softly at the sight of tears rolling down the blonde’s cheeks. “don’t cry,” you whisper, frowning at the male.
seonghwa turns his attention back to hongjoong, pain and regret in his eyes. “i can’t lie to you, joong. i can’t lie to you and say that i love only you.”
a sinking, disgusting feeling bubbles in your chest as you gripped your forearm tightly. the look on hongjoong’s face tears you down and rips you apart. he looked betrayed, hurt, but somewhere hidden in his eyes, there was a sort of relief.
you didn’t like this.
you didn’t like this at all.
seonghwa turns to look at you and your heart instantly drops. “i can’t lie to you, joong, and say that i’m not still in love with y/n as well.”
the guests gasp in shock once again, eyes wide as they stared at the three of you. an interestingly dramatic turn of events, one would say.
but not for you. the shock on your face couldn’t have been more evident. it felt like your heart had stopped beating and instead froze in time.
had the bleach sunk too deep into his skull? what was he thinking? why was he revealing this now? when did seonghwa realised he felt this way? what the hell was he thinking? had park seonghwa really just said that?
“hwa…” hongjoong looks at him in pain, holding onto seonghwa’s hands tightly. “i can’t lie to you and say that i’m not in love with y/n either.”
with only two sentences, you felt as if your whole world had come crashing down. you stare at the two boys, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.
“oh my god!”
san and wooyoung’s voices erupted from the crowd as they point towards the two grooms. following their gaze, you gasp at the now visible strings tied around their pinkies.
your gaze followed the strings (as did everyone else’s) and you were utterly horrified to see them tied to your ring finger.
finally, your soulmate strings could be seen.
looking up at your two best friends, shaking, you see the sadness, betrayal and relief written all over their faces. truth be told, it was hard to through a blurry vision. tears streamed down your cheeks, fear gripping you by the throat.
hongjoong stares at you with pain in his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. “we’re your soulmates?”
seonghwa is crying. “and you didn’t tell us? how long have you known?”
you stare at them, words stuck in your throat, refusing to come out.
“did you lie to us on your birthday?” seonghwa seems to come to the realisation. “is this why you chose to lie to us both?” he asked softly, pointing at the two strings. you could only nod.
“is this why you left?” hongjoong seems to not even want to believe his words. “is this why you never came back to visit?”
you nod again.
“why, y/n? why didn’t you tell us?”
you stare at the two men in silence. your voice was stuck in your throat, refusing to come out. a metallic taste filled your mouth and you knew what was coming.
“i—”
and before you could speak, petals flew out of your mouth, blood dripping down your chin as you look up at the two boys.
everyone gasped, staring at the flowers on the ground. lilies and black dahlias soaked in your blood. the very flowers that adorned the wedding venue– hongjoong and seonghwa’s favourites.
you look at your best friends, taking in their looks of pure horror. tears streamed down their cheeks, mouths agape. they’re paralysed in shock.
forcing a smile, you look at them. all the memories began to flood back as your vision grew spotty, your body slowly giving up on you.
god, even when death was knocking on your door, seonghwa and hongjoong still looked angelic.
“i’m sorry.”
and so on this cold, hauntingly beautiful day, crimson red blood soaked into pure white snow: a permanent reminder of the pain of unrequited love.
698 notes · View notes
https-yeonjun · 2 months
Text
the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)
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summary. when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect.
or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.
wc. 14,444 words
genre. angst
tags. soobin x fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers to ???, best friends to lovers, minors DNI, negligible amount of smut (implied virgin!soobin x virgin!reader, first time, protected sex) featuring beomgyu, taehyun, and kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl
a/n. repost; this was also finally edited!!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!!! i’ve been writing this story for two months. it’s the longest thing i’ve written and i’m super proud of it. please let me know if i missed any warnings or made any typos. i really hope you all enjoy it.
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you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.
it was the summer before third grade started.
it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.
so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.
you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.
the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.
and him.
the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.
you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.
at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.
she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.
you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.
“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.
“what?” you were slightly taken aback.
“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”
“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.
“i’m soobin.”
“how old are you?”
“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.
“why did you move here?”
“my dad got a job.”
“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”
“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.
“i can teach you.” you offered.
and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.
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by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.
and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.
the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.
when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello. 
“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.
“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.
“just okay?” you pressed.
“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.
“did you miss me?”
“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.
“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.
“did i say something funny?”
“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.
“we don’t know that.”
“oh, we do,”
he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.
“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.
“do you like your school?”
“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”
you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”
“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.
“i know, but still.”
“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”
“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.
“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.
but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.
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the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.
the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.
the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.
the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.
when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.
“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.
“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.
“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.
you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”
“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”
“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”
“i meant it when i said i missed you.”
“i know.”
“are we good?”
he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”
you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.
“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.
“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.
and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.
the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.
“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.
“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.
“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school. 
as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”
“yeah,” he affirmed.
with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.
“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.
your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.
“how?”
“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.
a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”
you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”
a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.
save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.
“are you okay?” you asked her.
“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.
“me too. i’m y/n.”
“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.
“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”
should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.
“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.
meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.
“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”
“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.
soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.
“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”
“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”
you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.
and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.
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being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.
even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.
after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.
“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”
“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.
yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”
“he’s such an asshole.”
“what did he do this time?”
you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”
“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”
“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.
“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.
“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.
“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”
you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.
to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help
from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need
to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me
from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it
to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?
that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.
as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.
you open the door to soobin.
“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”
his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”
“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”
“you’re in therapy?”
“yeah, since middle school.”
“oh.”
the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.
“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.
you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”
“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”
the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.
“you know what you’re doing?”
“what?”
“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.
“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.
to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.
“when’s your next test?”
“in two weeks, i think,”
“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.
as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.
from soob: test day! how are you feeling?
to soob: i think i’m going to throw up
from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!
you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.
finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.
“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.
after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.
“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.
“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”
“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”
that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.
“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”
“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.
“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.
“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”
“i taught you how to make friends?”
“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”
“hmm.”
“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.
“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.
while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.
“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.
soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.
“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.
“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.
“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”
“i don’t care. whatever you want.”
wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.
as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.
“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.
“we’ve seen it like a million times,”
“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.
after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”
your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”
“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.
“what?”
“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.
“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”
his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”
“soobin, it’s—”
“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”
“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”
“why not?”
“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”
“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”
“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”
“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”
“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”
“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”
“i don’t… i don’t know.”
“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”
you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.
“yeah.”
he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night. 
your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.
the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.
“something happened last night.”
“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.
“well, not really.”
“not really? what happened?”
“he told me he liked me.”
yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.
“and he kissed my cheek.”
“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.
“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.
she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”
“don’t get your hopes up.”
“oh, no.”
“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”
“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”
“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”
“he lives right beside you.”
“and he’s moving away in seven months.”
“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”
“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.
“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.
she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.
“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.
“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”
with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.
the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.
“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.
“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.
you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.
he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.
“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”
a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”
he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”
you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”
“can i kiss you now?”
“yes,” you giggled.
he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.
the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.
you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.
looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”
“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile
“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.
“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.
as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.
“okay, we can go now.”
you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.
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for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.
and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”
“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.
“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.
“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”
“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.
she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”
“no, she’s going with her parents.”
“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.
“that’s random.”
“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”
“i won’t. i promise.”
“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”
you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.
“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.
you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.
“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.
“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.
“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”
“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”
“what if i mess up?”
“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”
“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.
you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.
the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.
you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.
for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.
“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.
“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.
“because i had you there with me.”
“and your dad came.”
“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”
“at least he was there.”
“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”
“i need to tell you something.”
“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.
“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.
“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”
“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.
“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”
“that’s great but–”
“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”
“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.
“why?”
“we had so many plans.” you pouted
“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”
“yeah, you’re right.”
you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.
the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations. 
“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”
soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”
“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.
“yeah, what’s wrong?”
“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”
“what about soobin?”
“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”
you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”
“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”
“what?”
“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”
your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”
“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”
he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.
you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.
“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.
“yeah, it’s getting late.”
“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.
“yeah, i’m just super tired.”
“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”
“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.
“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”
“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”
that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.
you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.
maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.
“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.
you felt your heart sink.
you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”
“you think i should go?”
“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”
“okay,”
as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.
when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”
“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.
soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”
“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.
“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”
the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”
“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.
“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”
“where did that come from?”
“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”
“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”
“i’m being serious.”
“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.
you sighed. “i do, but–”
“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”
“you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“so what’s up?”
“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”
“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.
“that’s not what i meant.”
“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”
you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.
“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.
“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.
“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”
“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.
“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.
“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”
“so, you want to break up?”
“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.
“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.
“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.
the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.
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the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.
“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.
a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”
“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”
you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”
“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.
“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.
“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.
he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”
a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”
he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”
“and what if that’s not enough?”
his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”
“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”
“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.
with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.
to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.
later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door. 
“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.
“hi,”
“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”
“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.
“really?”
he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”
“been better,” you confessed.
he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.
“so you wanted to talk?”
“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.
“for?”
“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”
“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.
“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.
“and where is that?”
“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.
soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”
“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.
“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.
“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.
“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.” 
“is that so?”
“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”
“he was?”
“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”
“they do!”
“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.
“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”
“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”
“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.
“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”
“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.
“okay.” 
he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.
when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.
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soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.
“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”
“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.
“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.
“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.
“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”
“so?”
“so, that’s too far.”
“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”
“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”
“well, why not?”
“because, you’re here.” you admitted.
“so, you’re staying for me?”
“you don’t want me to?”
“no,”
“oh,”
“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”
“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”
his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”
“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”
“nothing’s going to change.”
“you don’t know that.”
“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”
“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.
“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”
you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”
“no time like the present.”
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five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.
as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.
your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.
your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.
you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.
at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.
as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.
yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.
as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”
as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.
you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.
you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.
and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.
for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.
but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.
this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.
as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.
his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.
growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.
a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.
some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.
“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.
“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.
or not.
“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.
“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.
arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”
“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.
awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.
as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.
soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.
you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.
gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.
soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation. 
“are you sure?” soobin asked you.
you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.
“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.
leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.
the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.
“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.
“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”
you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”
“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”
the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door. 
“yeah, maybe.”
“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.
you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”
“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.
“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.
the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.
one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.
you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.
another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.
as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.
you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.
then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.
“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.
with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.
“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.
the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.
as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.
but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”
“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.
he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”
“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”
he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.
he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”
you nodded in understanding.
“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”
“okay, i will.”
your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.
slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.
he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in  your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”
you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.
soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.
“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”
“top drawer,” you breathed out.
soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.
“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.
you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”
the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.
“f-fuck, you feel so good.”
he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.
“soobin?” you moaned out.
“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”
“i love you.”
he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.
every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.
he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.
his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.
soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face. 
you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss
but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.
“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”
“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.
“what? she’s a guest.”
“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”
“i can’t leave her alone.”
“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.
“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.
“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”
“i’m not spending the night with her.”
“what’s so special about her?”
“what?”
“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”
“we spend time together.”
“yeah, with her always there.”
the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.
“she’s my friend and i care about her.”
“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.
“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”
“well what about me?”
“y/n, come on.”
“i told you i loved you.”
“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.
you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”
“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.
“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”
soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.
the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind. 
putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.
you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.
the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.
you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?
his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.
other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.
“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.
“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.
"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.
"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."
returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.
“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.
“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”
and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.
between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.
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spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.
as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.
"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.
your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.
"i wanted to talk to you."
"how did you find my address?"
"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."
you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.
“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.
he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”
you met his gaze without a word.
“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.
“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.
“i miss you.”
“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.
“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”
“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.
“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.
“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.
“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”
“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”
“i care about you. you know that.”
“do i?”
“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”
“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”
“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”
“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.
“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”
“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.
“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”
friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.
“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”
he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.
silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”
he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”
“i know.”
with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.
in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.
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wheresarizona · 1 year
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Blood in The Cut
summary: You’re distracted while working with Joel, and it almost costs you your lives. Luckily, he knows how to get you out of your head—it’s just a little surprising because you didn’t think he liked you, but here he is eating you out like it’s his last meal.
rating: E (18+!! This is straight-up smut. Age Gap (20-25 years, unspecified), unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spit mention, (1) spank, Soft Joel at the end)
pairing: Joel Miller/f!reader
word count: 2k+
a/n: My friend @dresupi prompted me with Blood in The Cut by K.Flay saying it screamed Joel, and I went, well damn, absolutely, and here we are. Please enjoy 2k of smut. Shoutout to @juletheghoul for giving it a glance. Unbeta’d.
Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!
I reply to comments with my side blog, @wheresarizona-writes
Masterlist
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You’re not entirely sure how you got in this position; lying on your back on a dusty old floor in an abandoned building outside the QZ, the bottom half of your body bare, your thighs clenched around a man’s head, his mouth unrelenting on your cunt, your legs trembling, whimpering from sensitivity having come already.
That’s a lie; you know exactly what got you here.
Joel got pissed off at you for not paying attention and almost getting you both killed because you were distracted, and after you’d found a safe place to hole up, he’d grilled you about why you weren’t on top of things like usual. This led to you revealing that your boyfriend had cheated on you, got another girl pregnant, and left you for her.
His eyebrows are pinched, arms crossed over his chest, scowling.
“Gotta get you out of your fuckin’ head, or you’ll get us killed.”
“I’m sorry, Joel. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Take off your pants.”
“What?”
“You fuckin’ heard me. Take off your pants. I’m gonna make you forget about that asshole and save our fuckin’ lives.”
Here you are, Joel’s lips wrapping around your sensitive little clit, your back arching, crying out, thighs clenching harder over his ears, him not caring and feeling him groan into your pussy. Your fingers are gripped tight in his grey hair, cunt pulsing, the muscles in your body tightening up until the knot snaps, and you’re coming again, brokenly moaning as the waves of pleasure move through your body.
Joel says something, words muffled in your pussy that vaguely sound like ‘good girl,’ his mouth moving to lick up your release, lapping at you, while your breaths even out.
His big hands grip your thighs, prying them from his head, as he sits up, your brain a pleasurable haze, thoughts feeling like molasses—slow, thick.
You know he’s talking to you, but you don’t hear him, gasping at the sting of his hand slapping your hip.
Your eyes open, tilting your head to look at him. You’d made a mess of him, the lower part of his face shiny with your juices, looking at you with a serious expression.
You wonder if Joel knows how to smile, he’d probably have a great one, but you’re used to him frowning, always a hardened look on his face, that’s normal. You’ve known him for years, Tess bringing you in for jobs here and there, and he’s always fascinated you—this much older, gruff man of few words, who only listened to Tess, and was a force to be reckoned with. Did you have a bit of a crush? Yes. But you have no chance, he’s too closed off, and you’re not even sure if he likes you in general. Though, after the way he ate your pussy, you think he might like you a little, and you’re happy to take whatever he’s willing to give.
“I asked how you’re feelin’,” he says.
A dreamy smile pulls up on your lips as you reply, “Fucking fantastic.”
“Good.” He nods. “I’m gonna fuck you, hard, until you’re droolin’ and can’t even remember his name.”
Your cunt clenches at his words, having to hold back a moan. You just know it’s going to be so fucking good, your body hot and thrumming with anticipation.
“May I kiss you?” you ask, sounding hopeful.
“No,” he answers, bluntly, your stomach dropping. “I’m just helpin’ you out, nothin’ more. You understand?”
“Yes,” you reply, not at all surprised. It’s nice of him to help you forget. Maybe there’s a little bit of softness hidden under all those rough edges.
“Good. Hands and knees.”
You scramble to do as you’re told, Joel grabbing your hips to help move you into position, hearing the clinking of his belt as he works open his pants, followed by him spitting on his fingers, gasping when he rubs the saliva over your entrance.
One hand grips your asscheek to spread you open, the other pushing his cock through your folds before he’s notching at your entrance. Your eyes go round, feeling the bulbous tip, knowing it’s going to be a stretch, your pussy throbbing needily, wanting to feel him inside you. He starts pushing in and your eyes roll back, mouth falling open at just how thick he is, stretching you to accommodate his girth, moaning in unison as he slides home in one smooth thrust.
“Oh my god,” you whine.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he grunts.
You don’t have a chance to respond, his hips moving back, almost pulling all the way out and pushing back in hard enough the air leaves your lungs, setting up a brutal pace.
He hadn’t been lying, he’s fucking you hard and fast, his hands gripped tight on your hips, hearing your bodies colliding, his balls slapping against your clit, Joel grunting, soft sounds slipping between your teeth. Spreading your knees a little further apart has him going deeper, his thick cock rubbing against spots that has your head spinning, fingers digging into the concrete floor as he works you up, pleasure building higher, and higher with every slick slide of him moving in and out of you.
You’ve never been fucked liked this, and you love it, taking what he’s giving you, completely at his mercy, knowing he just wants to make you feel good, and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly he’s getting you to your end, fucking you too good.
His hand leaves your hip to rub your clit, and the jolt of pleasure has your muscles squeezing, moaning loudly.
“You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” he grits out.
You are, panting hard, the obscene slap of flesh the soundtrack as you fall over the edge with a cry, body seizing up, your release dripping down his cock, euphoria exploding in your veins.
“Good girl,” Joel groans, fucking you through your high. “You’re tight little pussy is squeezin’ me.”
Your arms give out, resting your head on them, heart hammering in your chest. He’s kind enough to move his fingers off you, continuing to piston into you, grunting with exertion, his thrusts wetter. You’re pretty sure you’re drooling, your slick coating your inner thighs, legs trembling.
He leans over your back, pressing his front into you, slowing his movements, his mouth at your ear, holding himself up with hands beside you.
“You feel so fuckin’ good, baby,” he rasps. “You’re gonna make me come.”
He kisses your neck, goosebumps rising on your skin from the softness.
“Come inside me,” you whimper, wanting to feel him.
He makes a pained sound.
“I can’t—gonna paint your pretty pussy in it.”
He pulls out suddenly, making you gasp, Joel manhandling you onto your back, his hips slotting into the cradle of your thighs and pushing back inside quickly, his slick cock sliding in easily.
His arms bracket your head, pulling your legs up his ribs as he starts moving again, picking up pace quickly, spearing into you over and over. His face is screwed up like he’s in pain, rough sounds coming from his mouth.
“You take me so fuckin’ well,” his words come out strained. “So tight, wet, fuck.”
Your hands work their way into his hair and he groans, leaning up to press your lips to his stubbled jaw.
“You’re so soft—so fuckin’ soft,” he says.
His eyes open, meeting yours.
“Can you give me another?”
You’re too sensitive from your previous orgasms, there’s no way you could come again.
“I don’t think so.”
“I think you can—just one more.”
He sits up on his knees, pushing your own up your chest, changing the angle to have him plunging into your pussy so deep and rubbing over something that causes white-hot pleasure to shock through you, making you gasp.
“I know,” he says, massaging that spot with each quick snap of his hips. “Wanna feel you come again. Soak my dick.”
You’re so wet, leaking all over his cock, hearing him working in and out of you, your pussy fluttering, another orgasm building in you, feeling the heat growing at the base of your spine, chanting his name.
It makes you throb, losing your mind at how good it feels, drool wetting your chin, eyes squeezed shut. You’re honestly upset that this is a one time thing, knowing no one will ever fuck you like this ever again.
Everything comes to a head, you’re right on the precipice.
“Oh, god,” you moan.
“Come for me,” he growls.
He says the words and it’s like he has a line straight to your cunt, because you do—the muscles in your belly tightening and tightening until you’re clamping down on him hard, coming with a shout, Joel growling, his hips stuttering, pleasure radiating through your body.
He pushes your legs apart, laying back over you, short strong strokes pushing in and out of you, extending your high.
You moan in surprise when his lips crash into yours, kissing you hard, happily opening when he licks into your mouth eagerly. He must be close, his breaths shakey, thrusts uneven, kissing you like his life depends on it.
Suddenly he’s pushing up and off of you, pulling out, taking himself in hand and jerking off frantically, panting hard, until a long drawn out groan pulls from his throat, feeling the hot spurts of his come painting your pussy.
There’s no coherent thoughts in your head, feeling lethargic, spent, not even sure if you can move with how your limbs are shaking.
“Fuck, that’s pretty,” he pants.
You peek an eye open, lifting your head to find him staring at your cunt. He pushes a finger through his mess, rubbing it over your little clit.
“Oh,” you gasp.
His gaze meets yours, a small smile pulling up on his lips, and your eyes go wide.
“It’s better than I imagined,” he says.
You’re feeling confused, not only from what he says but the soft look on his face. He’s handsome normally, but seeing him like this has your body feeling warm.
“What’s better than you imagined?”
“Your pussy.”
“You’ve imagined fucking me…?” you ask slowly, not quite believing what you’re hearing.
“Yeah? From the moment I laid my eyes on you.”
“I didn’t think you liked me.”
His eyebrows furrow.
“I like you plenty. I do jobs alone with you, don’t I?”
“Yeah, ‘cause Tess tells you to.”
“‘Cause I ask Tess to let me.”
It hits you then.
“You’re sweet on me.”
He sighs, looking away.
“I’m sweet on you,” he mumbles.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
He looks at you, his eyebrow raising.
“Well, you were datin’ that asshole for one—never liked him.” You snort. “And I’m old, really fuckin’ old. I ain’t got no chance with someone like you.”
“Well, you’re wrong about one of those things.”
“I thought you said he left you? You’re not still datin’ him are you?”
“What? No.” You wave away his questions. “That’s over. Done. I don’t want to ever see his face again.”
“Good.” He nods.
“You’re wrong about not having a chance with me. I’m sweet on you, too.” You smile.
He doesn’t look convinced.
“You’re lyin’. You didn’t even think I liked you.”
“Well, yeah. Just ‘cause I didn’t think you liked me didn’t stop me from crushing on your grumpy ass.”
He huffs out an amused breath.
“You really like me?”
“I do.” You nod. “You wanna make this more than a one time thing? I’d really like to do this naked and in a bed,” you ask, biting your lip.
He grimaces.
“I don’t have much to offer…” he says slowly. “I can fuck you, warm your bed, give you my body, but feelings and shit, I’m really fuckin’ bad at it.”
“That’s fine.” You shrug. “The orgasms make up for it,” you say, winking.
His thumb circles your sensitive clit, making your mouth fall open.
“Yeah? You like how I play your pussy?” he rasps.
“Yes,” you breathe. “Very much.”
“Good. If you’re with me, it’s mine.”
You nod. “Only yours.”
He smiles. “Then we’ll keep doing this. Now, let me clean you up. We gotta get goin’.”
You’re wondering what he’s gonna use to wipe you down with, but then he’s moving back and bending down, his tongue sweeping through his come and making you moan.
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chelseeebe · 8 months
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and i never (saw you coming)
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summary: coming back from college for the summer, you never would have expected to meet someone in your tiny town. and you most definitely would not have expected that someone to be steve fucking harrington.
a.n: so this is a henderson!readerxsteve BUT there are absolutely zero descriptors and no mention of being blood relatives or anything so please take the sibling relationship however you would like!! this is also a part one to a lil two part thing. set in s4 but i've changed it to be summer break rather than spring and i am finally writing canon material wherein the UD exists (part two) shout out to miss swift for the title xx
wc: 6k+
no smut but there may be in part two and as a baseline, i am an 18+ blog so please respect that. mentions of weed, drinking and sex. no use of y/n!
‎♡‧₊˚
Steve doesn’t usually make the effort to get out of his car to collect Dustin. But he had honked his damn horn five times now and was getting frankly sick of waiting for the petulant boy. 
He races up the gravel path, cursing under his breath about not being a fucking taxi and how he shouldn’t take him for granted. Steve’s sure there’s smoke coming out of his ears as he pounds on the door, prepared to give the boy an earful. 
His mouth is open when the door creaks open, “Dustin I have told you-,” it’s only then that he realises that Dustin isn’t the one behind the door. It’s you. 
“Excuse me?” you start, frowning at this apparent grown man who seemed to have a problem with your younger brother. As much as he got on your last nerve, you’d defend him to the moon and back. 
“You’re not- um, is Dustin home?” he asks sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in utter shame. Dustin had mentioned you a few times and he was sure he remembered you from school but never really took much notice. 
“Why?” you ask pointedly, scowling at the man. He was from school, you knew that much. One of the basketball players that absolutely would have sniggered about you in the halls. 
“I’m giving him a ride to uh- to the movies,” he nods, realising that he sounded like an utter weirdo. 
“Aren’t you a little old to be hanging out with my brother?” 
Steve hesitates because yes, he probably was too old to admit that your little brother was his friend. Let alone the fact he considered him a best friend. 
“Uh.. I could see why you think that but mentally I’m probably more his age than mine,” smiling at you, genuinely not seeing an issue with his statement. 
Your eyes narrow, brows knitted together. You knew he wasn’t some dodgy old pervert but he had absolutely not helped his case there. “Right.. well, no. He’s not back yet so…” 
“Oh, well I’ll just.. wait in my car,” he nods, slowly turning to jump back into his car. Eager to not make himself look any stupider in front of you. 
You sigh, “you can wait inside,” opening the door wider for him, you wouldn’t hear the end of it from Dustin if you made his dear friend wait outside. 
He tiptoes into the house, eyeing the quirky decorations your mom had covered the house in. It was clear now why Dustin was so.. eccentric. He’s like a stray dog, hovering around the couch, too scared to sit down. 
You resume your spot, attempting to pay attention to whatever movie is on the TV but struggling knowing he’s still just standing awkwardly above you. 
“You can sit down, you know?” you bark, not bothering to look at him. 
He does almost immediately, running his sweaty palms along his knees. God, why was this making him so flustered? 
“You’re Dustin’s sister then?” the words falling out of his mouth without much thought. He wants to fall into the floor. Obviously you were his sister. Fuck. 
“Yup.” 
“Cool.. I haven’t really seen you before.. I’m uh-,” sticking his hand out for you to shake, “Steve.. Steve Harrington,” smiling as you glance at his outstretched hand, hesitantly shaking it. 
The mention of his name makes everything click into place. This is the infamous Steve that Dustin didn’t shut up about. You were in the same grade at school and had shared a few classes but had never really spoken. That might’ve been something to do with him being a gigantic prick the entire five years you were in school. 
“Oh,” you nod, trying to mask your apprehensions, “I remember you,” hoping that didn’t give too much of your distaste away. 
“Yeah.. I’m not like.. that anymore,” picking up on your obvious distrust. It’s not surprising that so many people still hold reservations about him, even he could admit that he wasn’t exactly a saint. 
You hum in response. You can mostly believe him because there was no way in hell Dustin would’ve ever become friends with someone like King Steve. In fact, knowing your little brother, he probably would’ve detested the kind of boy he was in school. 
“So.. you go to college?” he asks, trying desperately to change the subject. 
“Yeah.. uh, Chicago, I didn’t wanna go too far yanno?” not that you really could’ve. College was a last minute, fuck it kind of decision and you hadn’t really even planned on staying past the first week. But you had, and had even found yourself liking it. 
“That’s cool.. what do ya’ do? If you don’t mind me asking,” shifting in his seat, eyes dead set on you. 
“Language studies, it’s not cool or exciting at all but I enjoy it,” shrugging as you pick at the loose thread on your shorts, avoiding any direct eye contact. 
Despite Steve Harrington being a changed man, he still made you incredibly nervous and you felt like suddenly you were back in high school. He just had this aura to him and the way he carries himself, even now, was just intimidating. 
“No, that is cool? I wish I was smart enough for college,” chuckling nervously, “I bet it’s crazy out there.” 
Your definition of a crazy night meant smoking with Julia, your roommate, and eating a stupid amount of shit food. His definition of crazy definitely included some frat party and hooking up with some stranger in a crowded house. 
“Hah.. not really, I think maybe we have different definitions of crazy.” 
“Well, what’s your idea of crazy then?” 
You look around on the off chance Dustin and your mom had somehow snuck into the house completely silently, “getting high and eating a bunch of junk food.. not exactly the kinda shit you imagined.” 
“How d’you know what I imagined? Maybe I think that’s a crazy night too,” laughing at your assumptions, evidently he was still hanging onto that King Steve persona. 
“Nah.. you’re thinking of getting black out drunk at some party and then having sex with some girl you’ll never speak to again,” raising your brows, smug that you’d sussed him out completely. 
“Is that what you think of me?” jokingly placing his hand over his heart, shaking his head, “I don’t even like parties that much anymore and actually I think you’re right, that would be a crazy night,” smiling to himself. 
Because to him that did sound like a great night, and he’d kill to be able to do that with Robin and if it wasn’t for the fact that she got so intensely paranoid that one time they’d smoked together, they’d probably do it more often. 
“Oh, well.. you’ve surprised me,” giving him a small smile. You still had your reservations about him, but if he was good enough for Dustin, you were sure you could come to perhaps tolerate him. 
“Yeah, I do a lotta that nowadays.” 
“Well are you surp-,” you’re cut off by Dustin barging through the front door, nearly taking the damn thing off its hinges. 
“Steve? We’re gonna be late! C’mon!” he yells into the living room as if he wasn’t the one who had shown up fifteen minutes late. He’s huffing and puffing with his hands on his hips, clearly something inherited from your mother. 
“Woah dude, chill out,” he looks at his watch and jumps up out of his seat, “okay shit- sorry uh, oops let’s go,” rushing over to Dustin. He turns at the last second, waving at you over his shoulder, “it was nice to meet you,” a genuine grin on his face. 
“You too,” you call back, watching as your brother drags him out of the house. Muffled voices arguing over what time the movie started and how dare Steve enter his house without him present. 
Dustin’s still going on in the car after much push back from Steve that actually he was early and Dustin was the one who was late. 
“Your sister’s pretty cool,” Steve blurts out, driving along the bumpy road. He wants to rescind his sentence almost immediately after Dustin glares at him from the passenger’s seat. 
“Absolutely not. No, Steve. No.” 
“What?” flabbergasted that Dustin had so brazenly assumed he had some ulterior motive. He hadn’t even said anything. Not yet anyway. 
“Just no. I know you and I know what you’re thinking and I’m putting a stop to it now,” Dustin cringes, mentally perturbed by the thought of you and Steve even speaking. 
“Wha- dude, I was just saying.. you barely speak about her.. that’s all,” tapping on the leather steering wheel, playing it off rather smoothly, he thinks. 
“I know my sister’s cool.. way too cool for you, okay? So you should forget about it because it will never ever happen.” 
“I wasn’t even gonna.. you’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?” 
-
Steve’s sat in the booth, opposite what must be the worst date of his life. Dear God, Tammy Thompson was hot but holy shit was she annoying. Her voice agitating his ear drums with every word, irritating and nasally as she rambled on about her singing ‘career’. It wasn’t much of a career, Steve thought. Singing the national anthem in your high school gym was hardly a career. He thought it was quite sad actually. 
He nods along to her bullshit, maybe she would sound better when he got her into the back of his beemer. Well, he was hoping anyway. 
“You guys finished?” the familiar voice rings out across the table, his eyes darting from Tammy to find you standing at the end of the table with a fake grin plastered on your face. 
“I didn’t know you worked here,” he sounds confused, attention fully shifted from the blonde in front of him to you. Surely Dustin could’ve had the courtesy to let him know that you worked at his favourite date spot. 
“Uh.. yup, so you’re done?” still in customer service mode, trying desperately to ignore the awkwardness. 
“Oh, yeah.. thank you,” he smiles, pushing the empty plates toward you “how long have you worked here.. I’ve never seen you,” positively baffled but happy nonetheless. 
You shrug, “like sophomore year,” confused why he seemed to care so much, “I’m just doing part time over the summer..” stacking the plates as quickly as possible, wanting nothing more than to get far away from the awkward date you had stumbled upon. 
“That’s cool, I mean, I’m here a lot so..” 
Both you and Tammy flash him a look, granted hers was far more annoyed than yours. You mutter a small nice before scurrying off to the kitchen, relieved to be far from the impending disaster that was waiting to implode. 
-
Something’s not right. 
Even with Tammy practically climbing over the centre console to get to him, fully willing and eager.. he’s just not feeling it. Something or someone rather stuck in his head. They had been since last week and no matter how much he’d tried to shake it.. nadda. 
He pulls away from Tammy, sighing pathetically, “I’m sorry.. d’you mind if I just take you home? I don’t feel great..” he hopes it’s at least half-convincing. 
“Are you fucking serious Steve?” Tammy whines, staring across the car in utter disbelief.  
He offers an apologetic smile, shuffling in his seat to get away from her, “yeah.. must be something I ate.. sorry,” grimacing at this incredibly awkward moment. He couldn’t exactly tell her the truth, could he? 
“Whatever,” crossing her arms over her chest, frowning as she re-buckles her seatbelt, starting straight ahead. 
He starts the car with a sigh. She was a nice enough girl, but she just wasn’t.. well, she just wasn’t Dustin Henderson’s mysterious older sister who just hadn’t let this mind since you’d met last week. That was the problem. 
She doesn’t say a word as she gets out of the car, making sure to slam the door in his face when he leans over to say goodnight. He’s sure she’ll tell all her bitchpack friends who’ll vow to ignore him until he smiles at them over the Family Video counter and they’ll forget all about it. 
Why couldn’t that just work on you? 
-
You don’t see Steve for another week. Dustin normally runs out of the house the second he hears Steve’s car in the driveway meaning you don’t cross paths.
But now he’s sat in the exact same booth as last week, this time alone with a half empty cup of coffee in front of him. 
Your legs sort of work on their own, carrying your body over to the booth. It’s only when you’re stood at the end of the table do you realise you have no idea what you should even say to him. 
“Who’s the unlucky lady this week?” your mouth blurts out without second thought, startling him from staring out the window. His lips curling into a smile the second he realises it’s you. 
“No lady this week, flying solo,” internally dying from his choice of words. Yeah, that totally made him look cool. 
“Oh,” pulling the dirtied plate across the table, “Tammy Thompson didn’t work out then?” Why are you even asking? You shouldn’t care about who he dates. 
“Nah.. we didn’t really..” he mashes his hands together, “vibe,” smiling up at you from the seat. He obviously wasn’t heartbroken over it. 
“Well if it’s any consolation, I always thought she was a massive bitch,” and she was. One of those girls that prowled the halls waiting for somebody to humiliate. Bare in mind, Steve was too, he just picked on the weird boys rather than the girls. 
Steve chuckles, “yeah, she was.. or is.. I don’t know,” he’s sure that in her opinion, he was the bitch that didn’t want to hook up with her because his ‘stomach hurt’, and really that was a fair enough assertion. 
You give him a quick smile before picking up the plate, beginning to walk away when his voice calls out from behind, “what time do you get off?” 
“Nine.. why?” apprehensive as you answer. Spinning on your heel to face him. 
“I can give you a ride home? I mean, if you want?” 
You pause just before you reach the counter. It seriously would beat walking home in the summer heat. Dustin would certainly have a few choice words when you showed up at home in Steve’s BMW, but who cares? 
“Okay, yeah that’d be great.. thanks,” giving him a tight lipped smile, “you gonna sit there for the whole four hours?” 
“I- wh.. no,” laughing awkwardly because he hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to do until nine but he had assumed it’d be fine if just hung out here. “I’ve gotta go uh.. pick Robin up from work,” lie. He and Robin had worked the morning shift and she was off at some family dinner she had complained about all week. 
“Robin Buckley?” you ask, slightly confused as to how the two of them even knew each other. 
“You know her?” he perks up. 
“Eh.. kinda, we were in band together.. how do you know her?”
He’d love to tell you that they had become inseparable after nearly dying in a Russian basement with your little brother last summer. But he doesn’t. Because you, like the majority of Hawkin’s residents, were still blissfully unaware of the weird underworld that lived beneath your town. 
“We worked together last summer and now we’re best friends I guess,” it sounded far too simple as he said it out loud. 
He was an asshole in school and was well aware of that fact, someone like him would never have become friends with someone like Robin if it weren’t for the Upside Down. But he was grateful nonetheless, and telling you the shortened story was much easier than opening the can of worms that was the Upside Down. 
“Oh..” you nod slowly, “you really have changed, huh?” thinking back to Dustin’s constant appraisal of the new Steve and how you didn’t really believe any of it. 
“Yeah.. I don’t..” he clears his throat, “I don’t know if I was an asshole to you in school but if I was then.. I’m sorry,” looking sheepish as his head hangs low. In all honesty, he couldn’t really remember you ever being at Hawkins High but felt an apology was due either way. 
You nod, accepting the apology though the worst he’d ever done to you was the time he sat there and cackled as Carol Perkins knocked the pile of books out of your arm. 
“You want another cup of coffee or d’you have to go?” still clutching onto his dirty plate. 
He checks his watch, not that the time actually mattered as he’d leave here and probably end up driving around until it was socially acceptable to come back in. “I could do one more.. thank you,” grinning softly. 
You slip into the kitchen, questioning the warm, fuzzy feeling that had settled in your chest. Convincing yourself that it was only because he was being nice to you. Nothing more. 
-
Steve strolls in again at 8:40 after driving around the entire town, ending up parking in town and just watching the tiny clock in his dash until it turned 8:30 and he could slowly make his way back to the diner. 
It’s empty, has been pretty much all night bar the few regulars that seemed to spend their lives here. You’re sat behind the counter flicking through the Hawkins Post someone had left behind, reading about the upcoming bake sale. Riveting stuff, really. 
“You’re early,” you point out, looking at the clock that had moved incredibly slow all day. 
“I had nothing else to do so thought I’d try and squeeze one more cup of coffee from you,” he grins cheekily, testing the boundaries of this incredibly new.. friendship?
You roll your eyes, motioning over to the pot, “help yourself,” sending one of the clean coffee mugs over the counter so he could do your job for you. 
The clock slowly ticks over to nine and you do one last check around the place to make sure you’d done everything needed. Javie, the cook, had gone home already, thankfully cleaning the kitchen before disappearing. Begging you not to tell Kevin he’d slipped off early with a promise of whatever you wanted to eat on your next shift. 
You turn the key in the door as Steve stands behind with his hands shoved in his pockets, “are you normally the only one in there at this time?” walking beside you to his car. 
“No, Javie normally finishes when I do but he had a date or some shit so he left early,” shaking your head. It would’ve been useless to make him stay anyway. 
Steve jumps in front of you, grabbing the handle before you got the chance, pulling the door open, “Oh.. good, yeah that’s good,” closing the door and clambering into his own side. He wants to believe that he’s not sure why the mention of Javie’s name made him feel so funny.  
“You sound disappointed.. were you planning on robbing me?” chuckling to yourself. 
“No! No.. what? It just seems unsafe for you to be there on your own so late..” 
“It’s nine pm Steve.” 
“Yeah I know but.. there are a lotta weirdos in Hawkins yanno?” starting the car as quick as possible, not wanting to stick his foot in his mouth any further. 
You smile, it was very kind of him to look out for you after all. “Yeah.. I’m in the car with one right now,” glancing at him with a shit eating grin. 
“Oh ha ha.. you’re so funny,” rolling his eyes in jest though his lips twitch into a small smile. 
“I know that actually,” turning to watch the trees as they disappear behind you. The air is perfect, reminiscent of the summers you had here as a child. 
Steve takes the opportunity to look over at you admiring the night sky. Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, this was going to be the death of him. 
Well, you were. 
-
Steve’s itching to just ask him, get it out while he’s driving so Dustin can’t run away. 
“So.. I have a question for you,” testing the waters before fully committing. 
“Uhh.. what could you possibly have to ask me?” Dustin asks, curious. 
“Well.. I need you to ask your sister if she’d maybe wanna come to the movies with me,” he holds up his hand to preemptively stop Dustin’s inevitable reaction, “I accidentally bought two tickets and I don’t wanna let it go to waste, so don’t start.” 
“Steve, I already told you that that is not happening.” 
“It’s not a date Dustin,” Steve hisses, “you said she liked horror movies so.. I thought she might wanna come.. that’s all.” 
Dustin looks incredulous, “since when do you like horror movies?” 
“Uh.. since forever?” lying through his teeth. Steve hated horror. Would point blank refuse to watch anything even remotely scary when Robin suggested it. 
“You’re a bad liar,” Dustin frowns, he’d had many of his own movie suggestions shot down by Steve for being inappropriate and too scary. 
He rounds the corner, pulling up onto your drive. He was running out of time to convince Dustin to do this for him. And see, he’d do it himself but that would mean he’d undoubtedly end up a bumbling idiot in front of you and that was not what he was aiming for. 
“Can you- will you please just ask her?” he begs, pleads even. 
“Fine,” Dustin rolls his eyes, sliding out of the car. His feet dragging along the pavement as he walks into your house, not bothering to give his usual wave to an idling Steve. 
He slinks up the stairs, banging on your bedroom door. Get it out of the way and then he could mourn the loss of both his sister and his best friend as quickly as possible. 
“Yeah come in,” you call from the other side, closing the notebook. 
“Steve asked me to ask you if you wanted to go and see some movie with him, he also wants me to tell you that he accidentally bought two tickets instead of one but I think you and I are both smart enough to know that isn’t true,” your brother rolls his eyes, perched in your doorway. 
You smile to yourself, rolling your eyes. It was childish but admittedly endearing, “tell him to ask me himself and I’ll think about it.” 
Dustin nods, frowning as he walks over to your bedroom window, leaning out of it to holler at Steve who was still sat in his car awaiting your answer, “she told me to tell you to ask her yourself,” sticking his middle finger up at him before storming off into his own room. 
You watch him leave, open mouthed before going to the window to find Steve looking up to your window. He points towards the door, shrugging. This really wasn’t how he’d have liked this to go. 
The door swings open and you blink at him, allowing him the opportunity to go first. This was his question after all. 
“D’you wanna come to the movies with me? I- Dustin mentioned that you like horror movies and I don’t wanna waste this ticket.. it’s cool if not,” Christ, he really needed to stop hanging around Robin so much. She had a knack for being completely defeatist before even receiving her answer and it was clearly starting to rub off on him. 
“Yes, I’ll go to the movies with you,” smiling softly at him. He really was light years away from the dickhead you once despised, now just some shy guy trying to ask someone out on not-date-date. 
“Okay,” he responds with far too much enthusiasm, “great.. Friday! I mean- I’ll pick you up on Friday.. eight o’clock,” cheesing as he walks back to his car. Throwing up a thumbs up before realising how stupid he looked and rushing to get into his car. Heart fluttering out of his chest. 
-
You’re shitting it. 
It wasn’t a date. No really, it wasn’t. 
But you couldn’t help the nerves bubbling up in your stomach as you wait for him to pick you up. 
“I think this is disgusting by the way,” Dustin pipes up, scowling as he paces the hallway. Desperately trying to conjure up a plan to stop you from going. He couldn’t think of anything worse than his sister and his best friend dating. He shudders at the mere thought of it. 
“Well it’s a good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion,” rolling your eyes, peering out of the window to see if his car had pulled up yet.  
“Why can’t you date any of the other losers in this town? Or someone at college? Why does it have to be Steve?” his shoulders slump, frown evident as he skulks into the living room. 
“Oh my God Dustin, stop it. Yanno, the more you complain about it, the more I’m going to make sure it happens,” letting go of the blind and giving him a smug smirk. For his sake, it probably would just be a movie. 
You weren’t exactly Steve’s usual type so you were certain that the second someone from school spotted you together he’d probably get embarrassed and drop this little crush. But hey, you could entertain the idea for the summer and perhaps you also had a tiny, smidgen of a crush on him too.
The doorbell rings out and Dustin lets out a ghastly wail, rushing to answer the door before you could. “You never come to the door for me!” he pouts, glaring at Steve who stood nervously on the front porch. 
“Because I don’t like you,” Steve jokes, attention quickly pulled from your younger brother as you appear behind him. “You look.. nice,” smiling as Dustin’s eyes ping pong between the two of you. 
“Thank you.. so do you,” barging past Dustin who looks positively distraught, “don’t cry too hard,” you call out, walking down the path beside Steve. The door slams when you reach his car and you share a look with Steve, giggling as he opens the door for you. 
The second you sit, the nerves come spilling over. This was no longer just a silly thing you could tease Dustin about anymore, it was actually happening and you were here and he was here and you were about to go on a not-date-kinda-date. 
You’re both fairly quiet on the ride to the cinema, exchanging small talk about your days and the movie you were about to watch. It was fairly obvious that he’d bought these tickets specifically with you in mind, because Steve Harrington would not willingly watch Friday the 13th, especially not on his own. 
“So you accidentally got two tickets, huh?” eyeing him from across the car. 
His cheeks flush, bottom lip trembling as he attempts to come up with something to explain his bullshit story, “I- fuck, no.. I didn’t,” looking bashful as he pulls into the parking lot, “I didn’t actually think you’d say yes.” 
“Why?” 
Steve sighs as he turns off the ignition, “I don’t know.. you’re like cool and in college and I’m just some loser from high school,” shrugging half-heartedly, finally meeting your eyes. 
“You’re not a loser.. you were a loser but, I think you’re pretty cool now.” 
His eyes widen, his smile fighting to come out, “I think most people would say the opposite,” he certainly didn’t hold the same level of prestige he had in school anymore. In fact, he’d sorta lost it in senior year when he’d decided that people like Tommy H and Carol were not the type he wanted to associate with. 
And it wasn’t like he’d lost it all, girls still fawned over him and the basketball team would still get excited to see him but he had kinda just slipped into the background. Another guy who had peaked in high school that was destined to stay in this dead end town with a dead end job and a wife he’d grow to loathe. At least, that’s what he had always pictured. 
“Yeah well, I’m not most people,” climbing out of the car. Not once in your life had you ever thought you would be telling Steve Harrington that you thought he was cool. Much less getting out of his car to go see a movie together. 
You’re met with a genuine smile from over the roof of the car, he doesn’t need to speak for you to know that he appreciates your words. 
For a moment you forget where you are until his eyes linger a little too long and your heart begins to pound again. Pulling your own gaze away and mumbling something about missing the trailers. 
-
It’s unfortunate and a little sickening but you can hardly focus on the film and even though it’s dark, you can feel his eyes shift to your face every few minutes, distracting you from the movie. You don’t look back of course, keeping your eyes firmly glued to the screen. 
His hand shifts suspiciously close to your knee, stopping just before he makes contact. You’re trying your hardest not to overthink it.  He’s just.. moving his hand. That’s all. 
Fuck. 
You were fucked. 
Your hands are practically trembling as you sit there. Finally gaining enough courage to look back at him the next time his eyes wander. 
Steve’s not like you, see. He’s a little nervous of course but he’s had years of experience with girls, knows all the tricks in the book to get them falling for him. And when it really came down to it, he could unleash his moves to have you right where he wanted. His eyes don’t flicker back to the screen, they lower, gazing at your lips instead. He wants to do it. He does. Urging himself to just lunge forward and close the distance between you. 
But you’re not like that. You wouldn’t have even looked at him twice in high school, immediately and rightfully passing him off as the dickhead that he was. These tricks were futile on you. 
“Watch the movie,” you whisper despite not watching it yourself, blinking rapidly as you feel your cheeks heat up. Praying that the dark of the cinema would shroud your flushed face. 
His lips twitch before slowly pulling his eyes away, nodding to himself as an acknowledgement to be on his best behaviour. 
It takes every single fibre of your very being to get through the rest of the movie without looking at him again. 
“Well I actually enjoyed that,” he professes loudly, walking out of the theatre a few paces behind you. 
“Oh? I’m surprised you actually saw any of it,” walking to his car in the pitch black parking lot. 
“I wasn’t talking about the movie,” grinning as he lays on that signature charm. It’s shameless and you feel like a fool for even falling for it. 
“Shut up,” you mutter, pulling on the door handle as his car remains locked. He sidles up to the passenger side, one side of his mouth curled into a small smile. 
“How tired are you on a scale of one to ten?” mere inches from your face. 
“Hmm.. a five.” 
“Great, get in,” leaning closer to open the door for you, outstretched arm keeping you between his body and the car. You swallow harshly, slipping past him and into the car.
You’re not sure if you like this version of Steve, the one that had the confidence to make you a bumbling fool for him.  
“Where are we going?” you eventually pipe up, bewildered that you had just let this boy drive you to this mysterious location without any contest. 
“You’ll see.” 
The very second he turns onto the darkened road you groan, knowing exactly where he had taken you, his motivations becoming increasingly clear. 
“Fucking skull rock?” you exclaim. Everyone had heard the rumours in school, this was his spot and girls were to be extremely appreciative if he brought them here. You should’ve known really, he hadn’t changed a bit. 
“Well yes, but that’s not why we’re here.. I swear,” only now realising how scummy this looked but the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until it had yours. 
Your arms wrap over your chest, jutting your bottom lip out, “then why are we here?” you sounded disgusted with him. How could you have been so stupid? 
“Because I-,” the car stops in the tiny lookout spot, “wait, get out of the car,” he instructs, hopping out of his side. 
You don’t move a muscle, refusing to fall for his tricks once again. So he walks around the car, opening up your door, “look, I wanna show you something,” his tone is desperate and it makes you ever so slightly believe him. 
There was no chance he was that eager to make out with you surely. 
Your nostrils flare as you get out of the car, immediately wrapping your arms back around yourself. “What? What could you possibly have to show me out here?” 
“Just look,” pointing towards the sky. It was littered with stars, bright and twinkling with the view of Hawkins in the distance. It was breathtakingly beautiful, a sight you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. 
He chuckles, “I come here sometimes.. just to think and stuff,” scuffing his shoes on the loose stones, “I thought you’d appreciate something like this,” hands shoved into his pockets, gazing at you as you gaze at the sky. 
“Wow.. you can see everything from here,” still marvelling in the absolute beauty, blissfully unaware that he was doing the same, just not at the same beauty you were seeing. 
“I thought you’d like it,” dragging his feet along to the bonnet of his car, leaning back against the maroon metal. “I’m a little offended that you just assumed that I was tryna get you here for any other reason though,” laughing softly, what more could he do to prove that he was no longer that meathead jock from school? 
You finally break your gaze, looking at him as you join him on the bonnet. Heart pounding as your elbow brushes against his as you shuffle further up the car. It’s so silly, you feel like a fool, trying your hardest to contain your flushing cheeks. 
“I’m sorry..” admitting that perhaps you were a little harsh, “but can you blame me? We’ve all heard the stories,” purposely knocking your elbow into his arm, wiggling your brows. Turning your attention back to the picturesque view in front of you. 
“Yeah yeah.. that was a long time ago, I told you, I’m not like that anymore..” it’s only a tiny lie. He still made out with girls in his car and took them to darkened corners of your tiny town. But see, the difference was that he was actually trying to date these girls, mindless sex was no longer his goal. 
“Yeah I can see that now..” your shoulders slump, relaxing as your guard comes down, “thank you, this is a really cool spot and I’m grateful you chose to share that with.. me,” smiling softly. 
“You’re like the second girl I’ve ever shown this to.. by the way.” 
“Second?” poking fun at him. 
“Robin came first, obviously,” choosing to ignore your little dig. 
You had wondered why he wasn’t just dating Robin, he was a changed man now and obviously the pair got on like a house on fire so why wouldn’t he have tried it with her? Maybe he had and she’d shut him down. She seemed cool enough in band, definitely not someone that would ever be interested in Steve, no matter how much he had changed. 
“Ahh.. obviously,” trying desperately not to sound jealous. 
“So you like it?” watching your face instead of the sky once again. 
When you pull your eyes away from the sky to look at him, you’re taken aback to find him already staring back. “I love it,” the way the moon illuminated his face left you breathless, struggling to contain your heart in your chest. 
“Good..” he smiles before descending into some ramble about the stars and how he had discovered it. 
You weren’t interested. Focused on one thing and one thing only. Deciding against your better judgement to just do it. It was utterly reckless and someday you might live to regret it but you’d regret it tomorrow if you didn’t. 
Pressing your lips to his, quietening his little tangent. It takes him a moment to register what was happening and you doubt yourself, wanting to pull away and run through the woods hoping to never see him again. But it finally clicks and he springs into action, masterful hand snaking its way through your hair, resting on the back of your head. Keeping you right there, pressed to him just like this forever. 
Your hand nervously finds his cheek, brushing over the slight stubble that adorned his jaw. There’s no urgency, no ulterior motives. Pure and simple, only a desperate need to stay like this forever. 
You pull away, lips still lingering over his. A small giggle erupts from your throat, crumbling under his stare. “Sorry..” you mutter, still trying to catch your breath, “you were saying something..” 
“Sorry?” he exclaims, keeping his hand intertwined in your hair, “don’t ever be sorry for doing that.. like ever,” the stars reflecting off of his chestnut eyes back into yours, his features intricately lit up by the sky. 
“Okay..” laughing slightly, “okay.. I’ll keep that in mind,” shying away from his eyes, dipping your head. 
There was not one part of you that would have ever guessed that you would be the one to make a move on him first. Or that he could ever be so sweet, so kind and thoughtful and you feel awful for ever just assuming the worst of him without even giving him a chance. 
You’re pulled out of your head when his head dips down to match yours, “can we do that again?” thumb tracing back and forth along your neck. You nod quickly, chest bubbling with excitement as his lips connect with yours once more. 
It must’ve been gone three by the time you sneak back into your house. Praying that Dustin is already asleep as you sneak back up the creaking stairs. 
It’s too late. You’ve been caught. 
“Come here,” he whispers harshly, peeking out of his bedroom door, his brows furrowed. 
You oblige, slipping into his room and shutting the door quietly, “you gonna give me a lecture?” 
“No,” he sits cross-legged on his bed, “I was going to ask if you had a good time,” willing to put his pride behind him for the sake of his dear sister's happiness. 
Your frown turns into a grin, joining him on his bed, “I did.. he’s really nice, Dusty,” moving the deconstructed lego set from his duvet so you could scoot closer. “If you really don’t like it.. I can tell him that we can just be friends,” smiling earnestly at your little brother, it would suck but after all, he was Steve’s friend first.  
He sighs, swallowing his disgust, “you don’t have to do that..” this is hard for him to even get out, “if you’re happy then.. I’m happy,” giving you his brotherly blessing. 
You beam at him, “but, I have some rules that you’re both gonna have to agree to,” setting his boundaries for your budding relationship. 
“Shut up,” you giggle, ruffling his mop of curls before collapsing back onto his bed. 
You’re happy. Genuinely happy and you’re not sure anything could happen to change that. 
574 notes · View notes
ateotd-izzy · 9 months
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maroon | thomas x fem!reader
“the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me”
during his first night in the glade, thomas (quite literally) bumps into a girl.
“and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon”
as more time passes, thomas becomes closer with y/n (very close), but that changes after they escape the maze.
“the mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones”
warnings: it’s bad, kissing, maze runner, swearing and whatever (i never know what to write here)
“the lips i used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon”
“our med-jacks, clint and jeff.” newt introduced to the greenie as he showed the boy around. “and this is— woah, watch out.”
the greenie hadn’t been watching where he was going and bumped right into you as you walked past, spilling the drink he had been holding all over your shirt.
“oh, god, i am so…” he paused as he met your eyes. a girl? “sorry.”
you looked down at your soaking wet shirt and a few boys around snickered.
“thanks.” you smiled sarcastically and turned on your heel, heading towards the small hut that sat not far from the homestead.
“nice one, greenie.” newt clapped him on the back. “i think you just ruined her day.”
“who was that?” the boy asked, watching as you disappeared behind the door of the hut.
“y/n. she’s one of the runners.” newt answered. “also the glade’s only girl.”
“oh.”
inside you were changing your shirt, muttering in annoyance as you did so.
your favorite shirt (out of the five or so you owned) was now covered in gally’s foul-smelling drink thanks to that greenie.
after changing, you went outside to join the party again, only for it to be declared over moments after the greenie remembered his name.
thomas.
“uh, hey.” he jogged over to you as you walked back to your hut. “i’m, um, i’m sorry about before. is your shirt okay?”
“it’ll survive.” you shrugged. “i guess.”
“so, you’re a runner?” he asked, walking with you. “you go into the maze with that minho guy?”
“yep.” you glanced at him. “are you just going to follow me the whole way?”
“oh, sorry.” he slowed down. “um, i’ll go now.”
“okay.” you stared.
“see you around, y/n.”
you furrowed your eyebrows. “right. see you around…”
“thomas.”
“see you around, thomas.”
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while it may not have seemed like it, you and thomas became pretty close friends over the next week or so, and you felt dumb to admit that you even had feelings for him.
he was in the same boat. except thomas was head-over-heels in love with you.
you kissed once. when the glade was being attacked by grievers, he kissed you before the two of you split up.
so after your group escaped the maze, the two of you did your best to stick together.
the two of you sat on the floor of the room your group had been forced into after being ‘saved’.
your legs were stretched out to sit in his lap, and his hands sat on top of them.
the rest of the group was around, all full after eating more food than they’d ever seen in their lives.
you couldn’t focus on the conversation that was going on between teresa and the boys, because all you could focus on was how thomas’ fingers drew small shapes on the bare skin of your leg where your pants had rolled up a little.
you wanted to tell him how you felt. you wanted to kiss him again. but everyone else was around, and the thought of being in front of everyone made you uncomfortable.
you had no clue how thomas did his whole leader thing.
when the door to the room opened, everyone jumped up and ran over, eager to know exactly what was going on.
the man who had opened the door introduced himself as mr. janson and led your group through the compound.
thomas held your hand the whole time.
“first things first, let’s do something about that smell.”
the boys were being taken to a different room to you and teresa. just before your hand slipped from his, you kissed thomas on the cheek. simple enough.
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that night you properly kissed again and he asked you to be his girlfriend, and despite all of your worries, you said yes.
it wasn’t long after that when your group had to leave the compound with another boy, aris. you still hadn’t escaped wicked.
you stuck by thomas’ side the whole time, or until you were separated again.
you didn’t even know if he was alive, but jorge was confident he and brenda were fine.
it took a few days until you reached what jorge called marcus’ place.
you got into the party and the first thing you spotted was thomas and brenda.
kissing.
then they pulled apart, thomas said something and brenda wandered off.
thomas seemed to spin around the room until he yelled out and collapsed.
your heart was broken.
you were separated for just a few days, the longest since you had met, and he was kissing a girl he barely knew.
you couldn’t even say anything to him because he was out cold. instead you had to help minho drag him upstairs and act like nothing happened.
then, after he woke up, your group was on the run again, searching for the right arm.
in the car, thomas reached his hand over and tried to take yours in his, but you pulled yours back. you didn’t let him.
he looked at you. he was confused.
you didn’t answer his look. you just turned your head away from him and looked out the car window.
he had no clue why you were suddenly ignoring him. not the entire drive to the mountains, not when the were taken to the right arm camp, not when brenda collapsed.
it was only when he was in the tent with her later, just after brenda woke up, when it clicked to him why.
you had seen brenda kiss him.
everything seemed to click into place at that moment, and he jumped to his feet halfway through his conversation with brenda.
“you okay?” she asked.
“yeah. yeah, there’s just something i need to do.” thomas looked down at her. “i’m sorry, i’ll be back later.”
then he ran out of the tent.
the camp was large, and thomas had no clue where he could find you. or any of his friends for that matter.
it took about ten minutes of searching until he found you.
you were sitting alone on a rock, looking down at your feet and mumbling something to yourself.
“y/n?”
you looked up and thomas realized you had been crying.
“what?”
there was a twinge of bitterness in your voice, and thomas frowned. it reminded him of how you had spoken to him the night you met, when he had splashed his drink into you.
“you okay?”
“i’m fine.”
he knew you weren’t, and he ignored the obvious signs that you didn’t want him around when he sat down beside you.
“what do you want, thomas?” you asked.
without another word, he simply wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest.
at first, you thought about trying to pull away. but you didn’t.
“why’d you kiss her? brenda?” you asked eventually. “do you like her better? because, you know, i’ll back off or whatev—”
“no, no, no, y/n.” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes. “i could never like anyone better than i like you.”
“then why—?”
“she kissed me.” thomas told you, cupping your cheek with one hand. “we were drugged, okay? i…”
thomas winced slightly at the memory of brenda’s face after his words.
“i thought she was you.” he admitted. “whatever that marcus guy put in that drink had me seeing the weirdest shit.”
“are you calling me weird shit?” you teased and thomas’ eyes widened.
“what? no.” he shook his head. “that’s not what i meant.”
“i know. i was kidding.”
you grabbed his hand and interlocked your fingers.
“i’m sorry.” he apologized.
“don’t be. i get it now.” you shrugged.
“yeah, but i could’ve said something sooner.”
“when?” you asked. “when you were passed out? or when we were almost shot by mountain people?”
he chuckled. “okay, maybe not. but—”
“tommy, i get it. don’t worry.”
the feeling of freedom and happiness that evening was short lived, and soon became a nightmare.
teresa betrayed them, wicked burned the camp to the ground, and multiple people were taken.
sonya, aris, minho and you.
thomas had lost you. he had lost the battle. but he was determined to get you and minho and everyone else back.
he would do anything he could. he would do whatever it took to get you back.
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taglist: @brvceyamada
a/n: why don’t these ever turn out like they sounded in my head LMAO
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broooooo · 4 months
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Latex freedom
It was as if it was yesterday
I can still feel the pleasure, the euphoria of freedom that I gained.
_
I'm Asher, 20 years old and I don't have much going for myself.
I live in a world where latex rubber drones Rome, as if it's a rite of passage amongst society, to be assimilated is seen as an honour, whether or not you want it or not.
I love alone in a small apartment, iv always felt trapped inside my home, my parents were overwhelming and overprotective, so iv always been alone and outcasted, and now I'm alone, I want to be free to do what I've missed out on, yet I'm stuck .. emotions stop me, iv never been sexually active before, idk what it feels like..
How I wish I knew
_
I watch on my phone one night, as usual I witness the conversions of people, public or In private, seeing how they change , it makes my heart hurt for what I don't have
That is when I got a message from someone I recognise...
His name was once Aaron, we actually live in the same building,were neighbours and old class mates...to be truthful , yet we have never interacted, IV only ever seen him from outside my window peeking through curtains , really I idolized him, he's everything I wanted to be
He recently was assimilated .. I heard he had what could only be described as a, divine enlightenment, I can still hear his moans in my head,
The name on the message was -# 6923
The name he gained after it was complete, Aaron can still be used, yet only in private and usually only between friends .
I'm surprised to get a message, I wonder what it's about and start imagining it, before going on it to read it .. it seems the opportunity has arrived.
An opportunity for freedom ..
Aaron - hey what's up neighbour?
Me- i- hello ...I'm doing fine . I guess.
Aaron- nice to hear... How would you like to hang with me?
Me- (huh? ...Heart beating) - i- sure.. I don't mind.
Aaron - I'll come over to yours tomorrow at 12,ok?
Me- ok..
-that is where it ended .
I could already guess the outcome of tomorrow, yet I'm scared and excited, will my emotions hold me back once more .or?
It was hard to sleep with my mind in a frenzy, it was a sudden difference in my life I want to take advantage of.
_
Come morning, I wake up and immediately get ready. Not like there's much to do
I'm usually tidy but it didn't Hurt to freshen up a bit.
I want to look presentable but all my clothes are baggy and worn, le sigh ... It will have to do
Come 12- I'm nervous...
I can hear to stomp of leather boots . .then a slight nock at the door.
It was him...
I run to the door and gently open it. There he was, a tall muscular young man, leather boots and .. her wore some tight leather pants, a latex t-shirt and gloves.
Although the regular drone latex suit is also worn by some, once a drone, you still are yourself and remember everything, dressing up in different types of latex and leather is something that can be done.
His long white blonde hair flows and his piercing blue eyes...
Errr hi ... Come in, i say
Aaron smiles , hello neighbour. As he walks in.
The sent of latex in the air
I close the door and we both sit down, I had brought orange soda for us to drink and chat.
_
Aaron then speaks up . So how have you been recently Asher? He says with a warm smile
I- iv been fine .. I guess I say in a slight down tone, my eyes looking out the window ..
Aaron puts down his drink and shuffles over to me .. he mildly embraces me with a soft hug. In a soft voice ... It must be hard to live alone like this... Ik how you feel...
I look to him, I can feel his warm energy.. I speak in a somber tone ...
So... You've heard my cries .. haven't you?
(he had always worried if his floor would notice his breakdowns.. whether or not they did, I guess it would be awkward to ask what the sound was )
Aaron then He says in a soft voice.. y yes.... It seems your bedroom is behind mine.... Iv heard it all.
I become embarrassed instantly... Oh I'm so sorry you had to hear all that... I say in a rushed tone.
Aaron Giggles slightly. It's fine it's fine.. ik how you feel, I felt the same way before
He puts his hand on mine.. it's the first time iv felt latex like this before..
I rub my hand against it,, it's soft and warm..
Aaron smiles at me.. nice isn't it?
I blush slightly out of embarrassment.. ehe it is... I guess..
Then sigh... I say sadly... How do you know it will work for me? I don't even know what being turned on feels like.. iv never had a boner before.
Aaron smiles. And softly rubs my hand. I understand your concern Asher.. you don't need to worry. I'm here to slowly guide you.
I felt concerned when I heard your cries .. and knew if I came over. Maybe I could help free you from that pain
Hearing this I let out a tear and and hug Aaron.. (I can hear his heart)
I - thank you.. but I don't even know how to even begin.....
Aaron hugs me back.. don't worry .. leave that up to me.
When we superate Aaron takes his glove off ..
He says In a soft voice holding it out towards me,
Just like he did for me..I will be here along side you ,
I look at the glove a bit shocked... But don't you need it?
He giggles, he puts his hand up and I witness latex forming around the skin into a new glove ..
I stare mesmerized by what I just saw... Wow I say.
Aaron then picks up the glove and motions to me hand, Cinderella style , he gently slides the glove onto my hand,..
This is the first step aaron says in a calm voice . The key is your imagination, if you fantasize and dream about it, it can become reality no matter what.. ik you want this... And I will be a door away if you want company.
I smile... Thank you Aaron..
_
After a nice chat and drinks we parted ways and I've as again alone
I go to my bed a turn on the TV to the assimilation channel to watch others become drones
Listening to the sounds.. the pleasure they experience.. the complete freedom they gain..
Siting up back against a pillow
I look at my hand, it's still very much gloved in latex .
I put my hand against my face , smelling it, feeling it, tasting it...
It felt soft and warm like him, it smelled.. like him.,
My mind had been in a state I'd never known , it felt so good I didn't want to leave, like a dream... I remember his words.. dream and it will become reality..,
i didn't know if I was sleeping or not , but to dreamt about it.. iv watched enough porn and transformations to get the general idea of what it looks like..
To be horny... Yes .. I want to be horny ... I want to get a boner. I want to goon and leak... I want to cum
Then I wake up from my state, I was hot , and steamy? My gloved hand still against my face I pull away .
But then my eyes widened, my heart races, emotion clogs my throat. And I'm on the verge of tears..
It was my dick.. i finally got one.. a Boner . The biggest smile on my face
With speed I striped fully naked and in a heartbeat I used my latex hand and went to town.
Ha hahahaha so this is.... What it feels like..m my eyes gloss over in my new found pleasure.... I was so happy. I started to drool, the smell his latex still on my face and mind
I started to leak pre, it was a sight beyond my wildest dreams. .
Haha ha has I awwww , i laugh , moan and cry, ... Fully immersed in my feelings....
It felt like a lifetime of pain had been lifted
I, I was doing it
I had a throbbing hard dick and I was so horny . I wish this I could be like this forever..
Then the climax ... Through Drool, and pree my eyes roll back in supreme pleasure as I cum for the first time..
Ropes upon ropes of cum spewed all over me, my mind shut of from the pleasure as my dick kept shooting cum....
it felt like a blissful dream , I fell asleep, dreaming of it again, I wanted to cum more.. i wanted more latex ..
With that thought the cum around his body had soaked into his skin and latex blossomed
It slowly covered Asher's body, building his muscles up and giving him a large dick, balls so large he will never run out of cum. A dick meant for a horny drone...
Yes .. he thought .. he can see and feel in , he can see it happening in his dream, latex covering him. .. large heavy leather boots form on his feet. A tight latex t shirt... Tight bondage straps .. leather pant... And a cool latex tie .. a fun drone uniform . . Just like him..m just like Aaron ...his idol ,The one who gave him freedom... The freedom to cum, to be horny .. he felt so aroused , he was ready to be. Drone, ready, to .obey.. ready to cum
Programing set in as his new drone identity was made...
Drone 6924..
A perfect neighbour number...
Hehe he smiled ..
Thank you.. so much.....aaron... He thought before finally falling into a blissful but horny sleep
When asher woke up he was smiling, his dick was hard and leaking from within his pants . He was so happy it wasn't a dream ...
He was so happy... So horny..
Awww he moaned..
He got a sudden text . He looked over to it .
Aaron - must of had a great time Asher .. I'm proud.. I told you it would work : D
Me- i- it was like nothing I'd ever experienced... I I can't thank you enough....
Aaron- your welcome .. drone 6924-
Now why don't you come over and we hang? You can join me for your first assignment.. then maybe can . Have some fun.. together?
Me- I'll be right over. .. drone 6923
The thought of seeing him again made me cum in pleasure .
The cum gets soaked into my latex skin , my dick still hard and leaking.
Forever horny and ready to cum . Just like a good drone should be
Asher got up. Admiring his new body , and loving it all, the boots giving him a kick of pleasure
He was so happy, he finally achieved his dream of freedom from his life, his depressing feelings
No more he said. His dick ready to go, he walks over to Aaron's door and nocks
The beginning of his new life as a horny rubber drone.
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O: a late night story for you all. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed it
Xoxo- drone 6923- and 6934
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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 2 months
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second, never first
part two | part one | part three | part four
chris x fem!reader
summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.
warnings - mentions of underage drinking, throwing up, swearing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)
word count - 1k+
-
my eyes slowly open and i instantly feel pain in my eyes, head and stomach. the events of last night slowly coming back to me and i cant believe i let myself go that far.
i dont event remember getting drunk, one second i was in the party half sober and the next im throwing up and blacking out on the middle of the road.
i rub my eyes and look around my room only to find im not in my room. turning my head to the right i see a shirtless, sleeping chris next to me, i remember him taking me home and taking care of me and-
holy fuck
i fucked up bad
he saw me naked
actually naked
fuck.
i shoot up to sit up and grab the water bottle off the nightstand next to the bed and the second it hits my mouth i begin to salivate.
i rush out of the bed and run around to find the bathroom as i had never been to his house before. i finally find it after what feels like forever and lock myself in there and flip the toilet seat up.
hunching over the toilet and instantly throwing up.
i finally finish and just sit on the bathroom floor thinking about last night.
chris is either going to act like nothing happened or never let me forget about it.
knock, knock
“y/n?” i hear matts voice.
i get up flushing the toilet and swishing water in my mouth. i unlock the bathroom door and im greeted with matt standing outside of it.
“hi so sorry about that” i say giving an awkward smile and pointing at the toilet.
“oh my god no dont even worry about it” matt says. “just wanted to make sure you were ok”
“oh thank you, yes im good now. i just have a pounding headache but im gonna call my mom or anna to come get me so dont even worry about looking after me again.” i say.
“no no dont worry about it also its 7am so just go back to bed and by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of the dryer.” matt says.
“my clothes?” i say shocked.
“yeah i hope thats ok, chris just put them in the wash after you changed out of them since they were covered in vomit.”
“oh right” i say mentally writing ‘everything shower’ in my mental checklist for today.
“well thank you and honestly i do need more sleep.” i say brushing past him.
“no problem, sleep well”
i walk back in to chris’ room and quietly shut the door snd crawl back into bed. apparently not quiet enough because when i turn to face his back i was greeted with him laying face up starring at me.
“sorry” i say
“its ok” he says, fuck his morning voice is hot.
“what time is it?”
“matt just told me it was 7am, i hope its ok if i go back to bed for a bit.” i say quietly
“mhm” he groans turning to lay on his stomach and nuzzling his head into his pillows. i just admire his back and arms as the blanket hangs just below waist length.
i get comfortable under the sheets turning to lay on my stomach and turning my head to the left.
i close my eyes for a few minutes before feeling chris’ arm snake around my waist. my eyes shoot open and i dont know what to do.
i hear him slightly snoring so it wasn’t a conscious decision but part of me wished it was.
i decided to just let it happen and slowly drifted off to sleep.
-
i wake up to an empty side of the bed and the sound of chris walking back into his room fresh out of the shower with sweats and a black shirt on.
he walks over to his desk and sits down on his gaming chair unlocking his phone.
i push my self up and go to grab my phone and i notice 2 advils and a fresh water bottle sitting on his nightstand. “for me” i say quietly.
“oh shit” he says jumping. “yes for you” he says while doing a hand gesture.
“sorry” i say rubbing my eyes.
i take the advil and chug down half the bottle of water.
“how bad was i?” i question
“honestly not bad at all, you just really scared everyone since you just passed out without warning in the middle of the road.”
i internally pat myself on the back for not acting up.
“yeah im really sorry you had to take care of me last night. wont happen again, im so embarrassed.” i chuckle nervously.
“actually now that you mention it you kept calling me an asshole and were saying i never apologized.” he says making my face go red. “thats strange” i say nervously. “well i was drunk who knows what i was saying.”
“it happens to the best of us dont sweat it kid.” he says getting up and walking over to his bed sitting on the end of it “plus i know you would do the same for me” he says giving me a warm smile. “im gonna go get your laundry and take you home. i bet you want to take a shower really bad.” he says smiling.
“ok” i nod
-
i get to my house and finally have a moment to myself to really think about last night. not to mention he let me leave wearing his clothes.
i showered as soon as i got home and the entire time i couldn’t stop thinking about how he so casually just got me dressed and ready for bed.
everything with him was strictly platonic but of course, i wished it were more.
last night gave me a taste of what i wanted, and boy was i starving.
i wasn’t only physically attracted to chris, he was one of my closest friends. i cared for him immensely and he did for me too, why else would he have brought me home last night. a normal person would have brought me to my own house and let me get in trouble alone.
he was sweet, knowledgeable, kind, and caring. he was also attentive and always remembered little things about me that i told him.
for example i remember i told him my favourite candy want jolly ranchers gummys once and when i showed up to his halloween party he had a bowl of jolly rancher gummys set on the dining table labeled ‘y/ns treat’.
i always enjoyed talking to him and loved our friendship. i just hope last night didnt change anything between us.
-
thanks for reading!!
@blahbel668 here you go!
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grocerystorelist · 4 months
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the body of christ – matty healy
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brash and rogue, you don't know what to do with how you feel about the new priest in town. so, you find yourself in the confessional booth... aka priest!au
minors dni. dom/sub undertones, oral fixation, oral sex, unprotected sex, the man hasn't kissed anyone in a decade let him live!! wc: 3.2k
The church is dark when you approach the confessional booth, the heels of your boots ringing out and echoing throughout the cavernous room. You wonder if he hears you. A single lamp is turned on next to the booth, yellow beams dancing across the shifting fabric. You can hear Matty shuffling around inside, the shiny tips of his shoes barely visible beneath the black hanging.
It’s been a week since he kissed you, all teeth and tongue on the bench outside of his apartment, an insistent hand burning a path around your waist.
“I’ve come to confess, Father.” You smirk to yourself, crossing your ankles and shifting on the wooden seat to sit on your hands. There’s something girlish about the way you’re sitting, and you remember when your parents used to make you frequent this very booth several years ago. Then your confessions were about swiping your best friend’s eyeshadow palette, worried hands picking at your bright blue nail polish as you pleaded for forgiveness from an elderly priest. Now, the darkness of the booth no longer scares you.
“I’ve been having all of these thoughts… fantasies, if you will.” You strain your ears to your left, hoping to hear a gasp, a reaction from Matty. “I think about him all the time, and I don’t know what to do because he just won’t let himself.” A low ache settles itself between your legs, and you know that he can hear your legs cross and uncross themselves as you try to relieve yourself. As you smooth your black skirt down your thighs, you finally hear a shaky breath through the tiny window.
“I wanted him right there on a bench a few nights ago but he stopped himself after kissing me.” Your mind flashes back to the witty back and forths of that night, dangerously toeing the line of inappropriate.
“It was dark and quiet and the only thing I could hear was his heart pounding against mine.” Your cunt throbs, filled with the image of you climbing on top of him on the bench. “I tried to get off when I got home, but nothing worked.” A beat.
“What did you do?” He breathes out. In disbelief, you manage to say through the haze, “I touched myself. I touched– I was so desperate for anything. “ The wood of the confessional booth creaks as you continue.
“I couldn’t stop thinking of him bending me over, the way his fingers looked wrapped around the bottle that night.” A thunk emanates from beside you, a groan resonating throughout the booth as you squirm. “I wanted his head between my thighs, I wanted to get down on my knees in front of that bench as he fucking ran his mouth.”
“Have you-” Matty starts, hesitating. You interject before he can continue. 
“I’ve never had anyone before.” You run your tongue over your bottom lip. “But I want him.”
“Stop.”
“What? Father-”
“Kneel.” You wait until he repeats himself, sliding off the bench and settling yourself on the floor. “Kneel.” Hands clasped, you close your eyes, waiting for his next directive. In the few moments of silence, your mind wanders before you ground yourself, feeling the grain of the wood through the knees of your tights.
Suddenly, the curtain is ripped open, velvet whipping inches away from your face. You blink through the spots in your eyes to adjust to the light filtering through the stained glass. Dust motes float in a haze around Matty’s head, and you swear you see a halo for a moment. Lips barely parted, his chin is tilted up, considering you as he looks down his nose.
His eyes bore through you, brown irises giving way to widening black pupils. You rise on your knees, breathing shallowly and staring up at him, waiting for him to cut through the thick soup of tension between you two. Matty’s hand rises and his eyes flick to it, as if he can’t believe he’s reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of your face.
The heat of his palm reaches you first, and you instinctively stretch to reach his hand, brushing your reddened cheek to his cool fingers. Matty’s fingers twitch away, only to return to your bottom lip, thumb collecting your sticky red lipgloss. He pushes in further and you take the chance to suck on his finger, gently tonguing at the intrusion. The rest of his fingers come to rest on your jaw, curling around the back of your neck.
He drops to the floor of the confessional and mirrors you on your knees, eyes scanning over your flushed face. Matty slowly pulls his thumb out of your now open mouth, where it joins the rest of his fingers on the side of your face, the glistening digit smearing spit over your cheekbone.
You don’t know who leans in first, but suddenly his lips are on your lips, and you’re gasping wetly as his hand travels down to rest on your hip, pressing you into him. He kisses and kisses and kisses you, a decade of desire being unleashed in the span of a few seconds. You grip onto Matty’s black shirt, running one hand through the gel that holds his curls in place. Delight blooms in your mind, and you grin as you kiss him. A sharp tug has Matty moaning into your mouth, tongue running over your bottom lip before you let him in.
You let out a giggle, realizing you’re the first person he’s kissed in ten years if you don’t count all the hands he kisses in blessing. Matty pulls back, a questioning look on his face, and you take in the string of spit that stretches between your mouths, the rise and fall of his chest, the shadow of the veins on his forearms. Now that you have him, you want to devour him.
He asks first, though. Matty’s hands slide down the back of your skirt, toying with the hem and tracing circles on your sheer black tights.
“Let me taste you,” he tips your head up, pressing a firm kiss to your lips as your head spins. You nod emphatically as you pull away, getting to your feet to sit back on the bench of the confessional. Matty rises too, and you look up at him as he undoes the top button of his black shirt, yanking his white collar out of the lapel and discarding it behind him. It hits the wood of a faraway pew, echoing through the silence. 
All you hear is the blood in your ears as Matty gets back on the floor and hooks one hand underneath each knee to drag you to the edge of the bench. You feel your cunt throb with anticipation. He flips your skirt up, sucking in a breath at the visible lace of your underwear. Matty’s hands slide beneath the waistband of your skirt, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps as he fumbles for the elastic of your tights. He hasn’t looked up at you in a minute, transfixed by how the pale skin of his hands looks against the black of your tights.
You lift your hips to help Matty pull your tights off, his hands running reverently down you. They stop at your knees, grasping the meat of your thighs, digging in and pushing your legs apart to bare the damp red lace of your underwear.
“Did you wear this just for me?” Matty rasps out, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. You whimper your confession, hands falling behind you as you struggle to keep yourself upright, his kisses nearing the lace covering you. He licks at the fabric, contributing to the growing dark spot on the fabric between your legs. Your hips jump, and he presses down with a hand on your hip, silently telling you to stay in place.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty. All wet for me.” His breath ghosts over you as he hooks his fingers on your underwear, slowly tugging down. “Is this what you looked like after I kissed you the other night?”
“Yes,” you manage to gasp out before he pulls them off, balling them up and stuffing them in his pocket. Matty finds your clit with an assured finger, rubbing circles. He bites down into the flesh of your left thigh, tongue soon following to soothe over the spot. Through the daze of the headrush, you see purple blooming as he traces his tongue toward where his finger is focused.
He attaches his lips to your clit, sucking and lapping at it with the same fervor as he had kissed you earlier. Matty eats you like a man starved, like it’s water in a desert, like you’re the sweetest fruit and all he wants is to consume you.
“Matty-” you moan. He slips his tongue into you, nose bumping your clit as he traces your walls. You grind into his face as he brings one of your legs over his shoulder, pulling you closer to him. 
“So sweet making those sounds for me, love,” he says, withdrawing from your cunt to grin devilishly up at you. Matty’s hair is unruly and all over the place, chin glistening with you. He looks like he’s found heaven on his knees, and he brings a hand up to swipe your juices off his face. With a smirk, he brings the hand up to your lips, pushing two fingers in. You take them down to the knuckle, laving around them, and you see Matty reach for the front of his trousers, palming himself.
“Such a good girl for me,” Matty groans, pulling his fingers out of your mouth. “Going to make you come so hard you forget your name, your prayers” He reattaches his lips to your clit and brings his soaked fingers to your fluttering hole, slowly thrusting one in. 
The fire in your lower belly is rapidly building, the waves of pleasure reaching new heights as he carefully stretches you around another finger. “Matty, shit, fuck,” you whine, rolling your hips. He diligently laps at you, and the euphoria hits you, trembling on the bench. You feel yourself spasming around Matty’s tongue as he continues to lick you through the ecstasy, legs splayed out for him. 
Eventually, you push him away, bringing your thighs together and grinning dopily down to him. Matty is disheveled, his face covered in your juices. The hard line of his pants practically reaches out to you. I did that to him, you think, sticky and sweaty on the bench. Matty comes up to kiss you on the lips, peppering your face with soft devotion as he tugs your skirt down over the evidence of his worship.
The two of you sit together in silence for several minutes, the rise and fall of your chests perfectly synchronized.
“Good first?” Matty mumbles into your hair, playing and twisting your locks. You twist to look at him, an incredulous look on your face.
“You’re one to talk!” Your mouth drops open, laughing at the incredulity of his question. “You haven’t had sex in ten years.” Matty’s face drops momentarily before he runs his hand sheepishly through his hair.
“You’d probably never believe it, but back in the day I used to be quite a catch.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “That’s why they sent me to seminary. The girls couldn’t get enough of me.” You hide your face in his neck so he doesn’t see your reaction, eyes crinkling and mouth widening at the thought of a Matty your age being the talk of the town parties. 
Shaking your head, you stand up and push through the curtain, waiting for him to follow you. He emerges from the darkness of the booth like an angel, pushing back the sleeves of his shirt where they’ve started to fall down his forearms.
Matty presses a chaste kiss to your nose as his arms bracket you against the confessional. You tilt your head up to capture his lips, pulling him closer as he trails kisses down your neck. You let him for a moment before you slip out around him, spinning on your heel and smoothing your skirt down. Matty looks dangerous now, not understanding why you’re pulling him away from the booth — his eyes tell you he would take you right over a pew if you let him.
“The rectory,” you say, taking his hand in yours. Matty walks with purpose, his strides long, and you struggle to keep up with him.
“Can my poor girl walk after what I just gave her?” You roll your eyes at the endearment, focusing on putting one leg in front of the other. One wobble and you would answer his question, which you aren’t allowing tonight.
A few minutes later you lie on his soft white sheets, legs parted as you lazily slip your fingers through your folds. Matty stands at the corner of the bed as he pulls his dress shirt out of its tuck, nimble hands unbuttoning and sliding the garment from his shoulders. 
“Didn’t know priests could be so fit,” you giggle. “Is there a priest gym?” Matty throws his head back in a laugh.
“The dress code is cassocks, and it’s just rows and rows of priests on weight machines.” He jokes. “It’s practice for lifting babies out of water.” You pull a serious face, nodding solemnly. 
“I hope I’m not intruding on your priest gym time tonight.” Instead of riffing off you, Matty decides to lift you up, spinning to land you on his lap. The rough fabric of his pants zaps the nerves in your clit, and you unwittingly grind down, making contact with his length. The air in the room is charged once again, ions waiting to be aligned to carry the spark between you both.
In one move, Matty kisses you square on the mouth and rolls you over. He towers over you, eyes zeroing in on your dripping cunt. You grasp for his belt buckle, yanking it out of the loops and throwing it into a far corner. His hands replace your own as he tugs his pants down first, revealing his tight black boxers.
Your mouth waters at the sight, but your reaching hands are gently stopped as Matty breathes a question. “Condom?” He raises an eyebrow, and you frantically shake your head no. “On the pill,” you briefly explain. Matty’s eyes darken as he slides his boxers down. His cock slaps against his stomach, red and weeping.
He circles his hand around it, stroking and tugging. “You look like a wet dream,” Matty says reverently, sliding down the bed to position himself over you.
Your hand joins him on his cock, and together you guide him to your soaked entrance. He swipes through the mess, coating himself in your cum. Torturously slowly, he finally presses into you.
“So tight love, you feel so good.” You grasp at his forearms, fixating on the curl dangling from his forehead. Matty’s abs flex under your fingers as he slowly pushes into your cunt, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His pants throw a hot spear of need through you, and he stills as he bottoms out. He’s bigger than anything you could’ve imagined. Matty stills between your legs, the two of you suspended in a tableau of sacrilege. 
“Move, please,” you whisper, hugging him close as the pressure subsides into pleasure. Matty draws out slowly, and you feel every ridge dragging within you. Pleasure runs up your spine, and you whimper as words leave you, hoping he can tell you want, you need more. 
He slowly rocks back into you, hips setting an agonizing pace. You feel so hazy, and you have no idea how to make your mouth work and tell him to give it to you faster, harder. Your head lolls backward, eyes blurry with desire.
“Ask me,” he says, and you shake your head, not understanding. He reaches up to his own forehead, down where the two of you are connected, then to his left and right shoulders. 
“Oh-” you gasp, reaching up with both hands to take hold of Matty’s fist. You press a kiss to his knuckles.
“Bless me father, for I have sinned.” Matty moans, his thrusts finding a new vigor. He drills into your cunt, kissing spots in you that have stars exploding behind your eyes.
Bending down, Matty laves over your tits, sucking your left nipple into his mouth as he rubs at your clit. He rolls your nipple between his teeth, spit pooling on your chest. His mouth leaves your breast only to be replaced by a hand expertly tugging and twisting at your nipple. 
You spread the spit from your tits, pressing down on your lower belly at the hard bulge of him inside you. And shit – you feel him, tightening your body’s grip on his cock.
“Do you like that, love, me filling you up so well?” Matty groans, dragging his hand down, interlacing your fingers and covering your hand with his. He pushes down to feel his dick in you, watching himself thrust in and out as the head pokes at your belly.
You mewl, digging your heels into his lower back, letting him roll further into you, cock hitting places so deep in you you didn’t realize they existed. 
“Where do you want me?” Matty asks with a hoarse voice. You lock eyes with him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “In me.” He swallows the rest of your sentence with a kiss, tongue fucking into your mouth in time with the buck of his hips.
“Taking me so well,” his hips set a frantic pace. Your eyes roll back in your head, spots dancing across your vision. “Come for me, love.” You fight the sensation off, wanting to come with him. Matty’s hand burns circles around your clit as he thrusts mercilessly, filling you over and over. 
With the first clench of your walls around his cock he twitches, a low grunt slipping out of his mouth as he hoists your hip up with one hand and somehow hits deeper. You think you might die if you don’t come soon. Hurtling towards the edge, you light up on the inside as you convulse underneath Matty. Eventually, you topple over, arching up into his chest as his cock begins to pulse inside you.
Sticky warmth fills you, and he fucks you through the last waves of his own orgasm. “You’re fucking perfect,” he moans, one hand next to your head as his hips still. His cock softens in you, but neither of you makes any move to shift.
You smile blearily up at him, and he dips his head to press a sweaty kiss to your forehead. His bed suddenly seems all the more inviting, and you both nearly drift off before you start to feel your cum dripping out around him.
Matty shakes some sense in himself to get the both of you cleaned up, and you wince when he slips out of you. The sudden emptiness colors your vision as you clench around nothing. He pads back to the bed with a washcloth, gingerly wiping your folds of cum and throwing the square into his laundry. He slips on a pair of boxers before handing you a matching pair, tugging a faded navy shirt over your head and gathering your hair to pull through the neck.
You feel as if you’re about to burst from the tenderness as you gaze at Matty curled towards you, perfect mirrors of each other. 
“Stay,” he whispers, kissing you.
“I will.” You close your eyes, hands reaching out to intertwine with his.
246 notes · View notes
prodsh00ky · 4 months
Text
from the cradle to the grave
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pairing: vampire!seonghwa x reader
warnings: use of words probably, crying, mentions of blood, death, war and violence, seonghwa creeps the reader out by breaking into their house, deja vu era seonghwa look combined with 2023 long haired hwa bc this should be a warning, some angsty stuff, fluff if u squint really really hard, past lives (sort of), reader is referred to using they/them pronouns but i might have left something that suggest they’re female/afab in the way; please let me know if there’s more
wc: ~4.6k words
notes: i tried to finish this in time for halloween (it was sitting in my drafts since 2021...) so this was supposed to be a spooky season fic. it didn’t work but here it is anyways! hope you guys like it. im a big vampire enthusiast and a bIG seonghwa enthusiast which makes me the biggest vamp!hwa agenda supporter so lets gooo
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well, at least your gut feeling was probably right.
these last days have been… weird, to say the least. every time you’d go back to your apartment after college you felt like you were being observed, maybe even followed. it was like there was someone always behind you or around the place you were in a way that made you feel like you were never alone indeed, and you didn't like the shivers you got from it. to top it off, the whole thing was giving you even more bad nightmares than the usual; the most recent ones involved big mansions from the eighteenth century or something, a lot of fighting, blood and a pair of piercing eyes staring into your soul. the worst part was that you always forgot in the course of your day that you were having them, only remembering when waking up in a cold sweat from a new one. your friends told you it probably was due to the time of the year since spooky season just began, and you thought it might be it; a scary vibe was nothing less than expected from fall.
but the tall figure standing behind your favorite armchair that welcomed you home seconds ago after you locked your apartment’s door told you otherwise. you automatically move to grab your floor lamp to defend yourself.
“who are you and what are you doing here?” 
“so you’re feisty. i should keep track of that.”
his voice is deep but also smooth. he’s probably a head and a half taller than you and wears a white shirt with a v cut, black trousers paired with a black blazer and his neck is adorned with a sole silk ribbon. when he turns to you, you get to see that his long black hair would probably reach his silver pendant earrings if it wasn't tucked into a fancy hairstyle with a silver pin holding the front and that his eyes are sharp and piercing (and strangely similar with the ones in your recent nightmares, but this time they feel familiar and not frightening as usual), just as the rest of his facial features. he is probably the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. but you still have no idea of who he is or how he got inside your house, so you quietly get your phone and dial 911.
“i'm going to repeat it just once more. who are you, what are you and how the fuck have you gotten inside?” he seems too entertained eyeing you from head to toe for some seconds, but he quickly wakes from his apparent trance and answers you.
“right. i'm sorry for the rudeness... and for the invasion, for that matter, although this apartment was virtually 100% accessible for me. oh, and for the last few days too, but i'm afraid the observing was necessary. i’m park seonghwa, one of the royal eight, and deeply pleasured to know you.” he bows lightly and opens his mouth to continue and it shows you a glimpse of long sharp canine teeth. it makes you interrupt him.
“so you’re the one who’s following me? know what, it doesn’t matter actually, i’m calling the cops.” you turn to open the door and get outside, however the keys aren't in the door handle anymore. with the lamp still in your hold you try to open the knob forcefully, adrenaline beginning to fill you due to despair, but the jittery sound of the keys dangling makes you turn to the stranger once more. he holds the keys with his left hand, the right one leaning in the armchair.
“forgive me for my ways, but calling the police won’t be needed and after you listen to me you’ll see why. i’m not here to hurt you in any way, it’s actually… quite the opposite. i was following you because me and my brothers needed to reach you, and after i finally found you i wanted to know who we were looking for. if you’re willing to give me some of your time, i’ll be happy to explain everything i can for now. please?”
considering your options, either you jump out of the window into a 65 feet fall or listen to him. but you still want to be sure someone is keeping track of you, so you move to open the window hoping today the old couple and the friendly lady who lives in the building next to yours and are always inviting you to spend the holidays and have dinner with them are gaping inside your place as usual and turn on the localization device in your phone.
“you have ten minutes.”
“thank you for considering my offer.” he answers, seemingly more relieved, and starts talking. “i’m not sure how to address it correctly… there probably isn't a correct way to do it, so i’ll be plainspoken. i’m a vampire, such as my brothers, and we need your help because you hold powers that can save our empire from the mass attack it is suffering right now.”
you huff, because it’s the only thing you feel like doing.
“you really invaded my house to fool me into a halloween prank? who made you do it? oh, it must have been yeonjun and kai, right? i'm calling the bastards right now, this is way off limits.” you manage to grab your phone in your pocket again but, just like your keys, you see it appearing in the guy’s hands.
“it’s not a prank and your human friends have nothing to deal with it, swear with my long gone soul. i am indeed a vampire, as you can verify by my teeth. vampires exist, such as some other ‘magical creatures’, as your people like to call us. i’m park seonghwa, the second vampire emperor, or prince, whatever you’d prefer, and am here to plead for your help because my empire is perishing and the eight of us can’t do much without you.”
the serious way he’s speaking almost convinces you, but it still sounds so crazy and nonsensical you keep yourself skeptical. you can't avoid some classical questions, though.
“why aren’t you burning or shining in the sun, then? and i don't see you sweating due to the giant amount of garlic in my kitchen. there’s no proof to your allegations, fang boy.”
seonghwa finds it really hard to suppress a smile. you were much more fun (and cute) than he thought, and seeing you being so doubtful only added to the feeling he had.
“because not all the tales you humans like to tell about us are true. garlic does not affect vampires at all, i have no idea where this... thing came from. we only get paler in the sunlight, as you may perceive.” he moves closer to your window, and you can see his slightly tanned skin turning paler and paler until his veins start to become proeminent and dark blue in his skin. it’s almost as if he's like a living canvas full of paint.
“i don’t believe you.”
“do you expect me to prove my identity then? because the only way to do it is by feeding, and im afraid you’re the only human in the nearer 260 feet at least.'' he steps closer and while he’s talking you see his fangs getting longer. and sharper. he touches his pointer finger with his teeth and his skin rips easily as if a needle had been dragged along it. when you look into his eyes they’re rouge as… blood. fear creeps into you and you step back, moving your head no.
“y-you can go on! i will hear you, i p-promise. i'm not exactly doubting it anymore.” you say, voice weak with fear. you move to your couch slowly, eyes still fixated in his every move. “i-im going to sit because this doesn’t sound like a conversation i’ll be able to take in while standing. feel free to sit too.” he moves to sit in the same armchair he’s leaning, but you start to talk again before you forget and his eyes move up to you again. “oh, but i want my keys and phone. you’ll not be getting my help making it look like you want to keep me in captivity.”
he nods, putting your phone and keys in your center table. you grab them almost immediately murmuring “thanks” because well, look where you are. he nods again and waits until you stop moving to talk.
“i’m shall start from the beginning since you have no familiarity with the vampires situation, right?” you nod, asking yourself what a vampire situation would mean. “the… ‘magic’ realm, i’ll call it this way for now because it’s easier, is hidden from human eyes. we have our own rules that exist to ensure mainly two things: that we won’t reveal ourselves to you with ease and that we will have peace, or anything closest to it, within us. some centuries ago people lived in balance and each kind had their own inside rules and organization besides these two major ones, but a riot some of the folks started created chaos and eventually a war. it was a slaughter; many villages were destroyed and many creatures, killed. it’s one of the darkest chapters of our story.
“wait, what do you mean by ‘creatures’ and ‘folks’? you’re not saying…”
“witches, elves, mermaids and sirens, gnomes, fairies, fauns, they’re all real. at some level, at least. i say this due to the fact you humans love to fantasize about their characteristics way too much, as you could testify with me and the sun belief you had. the majority of things you assume you know about them or about ur are probably inaccurate.”
your frown, “and what is the truth about all of you, then? what is wrong in the things i’ve been taught?”
there’s hints of a smirk in his lips, but he tries his best to keep neutral. “curious, aren't’ we? i’d love to share it with you, but it’s best that you learn it by yourself.” your eyebrows raise and he gets the sign to keep talking. “we’ll get there, do not worry.”
he takes a deep breath, a shadow of something gray crossing his sharp features. “after the war finished, pretty much all that was left was chaos. in an effort to save the survivors, an assembly was arranged so we could fix new rules and try to establish things. it happens that the vampires were the race that had the fewest deaths and casualties during the war and managed to better organize ourselves for that to happen, so it was decided by majority that we would rule all races from then on.”
“holy crap-” you tap your mouth, using the best of your self control skills to not laugh in his face, “this sounds like a fanfic i’d have read when i was twelve. how did you guys manage all the power? and you said majority, not unanimity. there was someone against it, i suppose.”
seonghwa allows himself to smile, happy to observe you notice things rather quickly. you try to suppress your own reaction; if he was already handsome poker faced, it felt like his smile alone could convince you about anything he was saying and more. “we accepted it, since it was what most wanted. some begged, even, at some point of the discussion. it was never easy, though. we have faults and committed many mistakes, some worse than others and some… unforgivable, if i’m being honest. but i assure we hardly did then out of personal selfishness, the weight of keeping things in place is always something that humbles us down. and yes, you assumed correctly, there were people against it.”
he pauses abruptly, looks at you and laughs quietly, which confuses you. the fact that his laughing warms you inside has nothing to do with it, you reassure yourself.
“what?”
“if you thought the previous facts i’ve told you sounded like a… fantasy book or so, you can’t wait for the next bit.” he tries to dwell his laughter down to answer you, but you can see he’s struggling. “guess who disagreed with us being in power?”
it takes you less than a millisecond to reply. “no shit it were the werewolves.”
he starts laughing again but freely, not trying to refrain himself, and this time you can’t control the shocked smile that creeps onto your face along with your eyes widening.
“jesus fuck, seonghwa-” you have to pause for a second to recompose yourself, because you started laughing too hard along with him without even realizing, “it was already hard to believe the whole vampire convo and all, now you’re saying that not only other species of magical creatures do exist but the rivalry between vampires and werewolves is real? how do you expect me not to think this is some sort of twilight remake?"
“oh, no, not that movie,” he says while trying to stop laughing, “i’ve never watched it but it has caused enough misunderstandings already about us.”
you eye him up and down, “have some respect, it’s a masterpiece! i’m sure you just have never watched it because you know you’ll get inferiority complex since you’ll never be edward cullen.”
“i’ll pretend i know what you’re talking about and agree.” you laugh but on your own this time, and he can’t avoid admiring the wrinkles in your face when you do it. “resuming, the werewolves were never exactly comfortable with the idea of us in power in the first place, but as i said it was what the majority wanted. it has been like this for over eight centuries, and everything was going peacefully until around the nineteenth century. the werewolves started a rebellion against our empire, and to do it joined forces with each and every wrongdoer in our realm. they managed to have each and every single creature that had committed horrendous crimes as their allies, which caught us by surprise. we’ve tried to talk to them in the beginning, but it didn't work; they started to kill vampires and pretty much everyone that agreed with our power. it has been like this since then, and we were succeeding in controlling the war until one century ago.”
“oh.” nice way to react, you think. but what would be a great reaction for a narnia x game of thrones crossover of sorts? “i’m… i’m sorry, i guess. i’m not sure how to properly react to all of this, and it’s harder to conceive it as true. and what does it all have to do with me? swear i’m trying not to be a jerk or so, but why are you telling me all of this? why did you come after me?”
seonghwa, once again, has to control a smile creeping in. “because you, y/n, might be the key to saving everything.”
your brain short circuits. “what?” you freeze, wanting to laugh in his face, but the serious and hopeful look he gives you indicates he’s telling the truth. then a detail, a tiny but important detail comes to your mind. “wait- how the fuck do you even know know my name? i haven’t said it to you until now, there’s pretty much no mail you could get that from and most of my friends call me by nicknames, how do you know it?”
despair flashes through his eyes, but it’s only for a second. “well, here's where things start getting… interesting. or complex. i know it might sound crazy but… there’s… you… you’re…”
its the first time he seems uncertain or insecure and maybe even afraid in his speech if you squint, but the next bit that comes out of his mouth makes everything really sound like a big joke.
“i’m afraid there’s no easy way to let you know this, so i’ll have to be straightforward. you’re a living amplifier to any type of supernatural being. this amplifying power is given to a human in earth as a blessing from whatever force that keeps the universe balanced from time to time, but there are always at least a few centuries that part the amplifiers’ births. the last amplifier was a friend, an ally of ours that helped - or rather lead us vampires to our victory and was the sole reason why i and pretty much all of the survivors are still alive. i know your name because it was one of the last words he said before passing after sacrificing so much to guarantee peace amongst supernatural folks. i’m here to ask or rather plead for your help, because although we have more resources and ways of fighting now we’re afraid that it might not be enough for the challenges we might face.”
you blink once. twice. then you sneer.
“you know, i was almost believing you. i’m ashamed to admit it, but it was almost getting to me. but after this i'm afraid i’ll have to call kai and yeonjun and tell them to stop fucking with me every halloween season because this is way off limits. you’re a great actor, though,”, you say, reaching for you phone, “i’m sure you’ll go the distance or so. your costume is very well made too, i have no idea who thought about the eye mechanism but is sure surpr-
he takes your hand with his extremely cold one before you reach your phone.
“please. me and my brothers don’t have much time to deal with your doubts properly, and i’m sorry about that, so i beg of you. it probably sounds way far from your human rationality, but have you never felt anything different? any other type or force or liveliness different from what others feel? have you never seen the way some people thrive when they’re by your side? how they go higher than they probably would if they weren’t close to you? how it’s so easy for your to really connect to the people you love and how pleased they seem to be to love you back? have you ever felt observed? have you never seen that there are beings trying to put their eyes on you all the time, specially in nightmares?”
you head starts to spin. yes. he actually had a point. your presence around people you liked seemed to bring them more joy and great opportunities for some unknown reason, and it has been this way since ever. your childhood nickname was “lucky” due to this; the games and toys were funnier and happier when you were around, even if one of your friends got hurt - it would be fine, after all, right? the foster home you grew up in started to receive more donations after you arrived, and your foster dads were able to house even more children. your presence became a must in problem solvings while you grew up, because, for some reason, the fact that you were there made it all calmer and somehow easier. your friends would get higher grades, nicer positions in the school teams, greater opportunities and happier memories if you were involved or cheering for them; you were a walking lucky charm all over your life. your parents, your foster siblings and the few real friends you have always said the love they feel towards you is different than any type of love they’ve ever experienced. kai and yeonjun even like to joke that you have some type of magic on your blood or something, because they feel that your friendship will undoubtedly last for the rest of your life, no room for doubt.
and the nightmares. they were way more intense and frequent when you were a child. creepy and lone places, destroyed cities, dark alleyways stained with blood, desolated ghost-like faces, cries of help you never knew whom they belonged to. but the worse ones were the ones that had eyes around aware of your every move no matter what you did. they were the ones that offered your nights of sleep no mercy and made you wake up crying hard and shaking up from despair for years. funnily enough, they always seem to happen again frequently each spooky season. 
“i-i suppose you’re right in some way, b-but-”
“have you had a time where you painted a lot? maybe when you were a kid?”
that’s what breaks you.
“h-how the fuck do you know this?”
his lips curve up, a sad smile reaching his eyes. “eden, the last amplifier, was a painter. probably one of the best ever seen in the whole world, if i have a say on that. an amplifier born will always have and nurture the last amplifier’s talents for at least some time, specially during their childhood. if you took on his talent, i bet your paintings were astonishing, even more for a child.”
your memories flash in front of your eyes: how many paintings have you made for your parents’ office? how many times did you spend your early sunday mornings painting in order to gift your siblings? how many of these were still with them, in their houses, becoming part of the scenery of their lives until nowadays? and why the fact you abruptly stopped doing them when you were nine or ten had never made sense until now?
“i’m- i’m sorry, but- this must be some type of misunderstanding or bad taste joke, that’s ithe only explanation, that's it-”
“as said before im deeply sorry that we don’t have more time to do this with ease but…”, he huffs, looking down and then to you again, “this is what will have you believing me. i’m really sorry.”
he stares into your eyes for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight seconds straight.
and then it all hits you.
flashes of some of the places you saw in your nightmares, but this time live, in person, because you were there; a giant castle with an art studio, your beloved art studio, where all your creativity flew through the canvases, where life seemed to make more sense. flashes of people you never met; unfamiliar smiles in their faces, but the lingering feeling there’s no physical building that could carry your conception of home more than they could; nights together singing by the moonlight, but also serious conversations and arguing and fighting but always making up because, in the end, they’re your family; war and horrible battles and you standing in all of them offering everything this force inside of you could because things had to end in peace; crying, seeing red and hearing their last words for you. darkness, solitude, happiness, yearning, melancholy, bliss, doubt, joy, frustration, hope, all types of feelings that weren’t and were yours at the same time.
you snap out of it with the feeling of seonghwa’s cold thumbs drying the tears you didn’t realize were streaming down your cheeks.
“i’m sorry this is so unfair to you,” he whispers, “i really wish this could happen naturally, without demanding so much of you and shattering the world you know with such violence as it has always been with the others…”
for a while, you just allow him to hold your face and caress it, too overwhelmed by everything that’s flooding your brain. after what could be some seconds, minutes or even hours, you’re not sure at this point, you move away from his touch and he lets you go, something heavy in his eyes you are not able to decipher due to your state.
“you need time to digest it all, and you’ll have it. i’ll make sure that no nightmares or even visions plague your mind in the next days so you can rest. but i’ll have to come back in a week or two to ask you to come with me and help us if you’re willing to do it. i promise that i’ll answer any of your questions then and that more understanding of what you’re capable of will make it a bit easier. you can share all of this, but be sure to do it only with trusted ones and with as fewer people as possible.”
he gets up and makes the beeline to the door, but comes back and leaves a black business card in the table in front of you, just a single phone number written in red in it.
“if you need anything, do not hesitate to call this number and talk to me. i’ll do anything in my power to help you.”
he opens the door, turning to look at you for one last time. ”we’ll see each other again, y/n.”
seonghwa closes your apartment’s door and in a couple of minutes he’s walking in the street again. he takes his phone, dials a number he knows by heart and waits. the voice that answers him is curious, yet patient.
“hey, are you fine? how did it go?”
he huffs before replying, “as well as you would expect, hongjoong. they didn’t hit me with a broom or tried to shoo away with garlic, but also didn’t believe me until i forced them to see.”
“so you did have to hypnotize them?”
“unfortunately. humans got way too used to believe we’re bedtime stories, specially in this century, so it wasn't something i didn't expect, but i-”
“you’re not entirely comfortable with doing it too, i know. by the way, how did you feel? since it all probably got stronger, was it okay for you?”
seonghwa hesitates for a few seconds. “it was ecstatic, hongjoong. i’m not sure i’m able to fully translate it into words. the more time I spent there and the more I understood about who they are now the more it became hard to let go. this is nothing like anything else that i ever felt, and it’s only the first time i saw them. i feel lost but also as if i had finally found something very important inside me at the same time. i… have no idea of what to do.”
“maybe telling them, if you already didn’t?”
“no way. it was hard enough for them to believe the whole thing, it would be twice as hard if they knew- if i told them things probably would have been even harder. they’ll know when the right time comes.”
“sure, then. it’s your choice. are you already coming back?”
“yeah, i’ll call for the car in some minutes.”
“great. thanks, hwa. i know this was probably tough on you. come home safely.”
seonghwa replies with a hushed see you soon and hangs up. he knows hongjoong just wants to be sure, but they knew each other well enough for hongjoong to presume nothing of the matter would have been said to you by seonghwa.
because how could he? right after stealing the truth you had been living until and shattering it into pieces? it sounded too cruel for him, he felt it in the moment he laid eyes on you today.
time would say when he’d tell you that besides your name, eden also said that the next amplifier would be his soulmate, and that this would allow to change things forever.
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©prodsh00ky 2023. no crossposting or translations allowed.
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iamatinydinosaur · 3 months
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🪷Floyd🪷
First Encounter
A Orange troll with cream stripes sat curled in a ball. She couldn't believe this. How long has it been?
Flashback
All she can remember was that she was collecting some berries outside her village. She grew up in a village that was mixed with all sorts of trolls that left their tribes. It was normal for a lot of interracial trolls to be born in this village. She infact was half a funk and half a pop troll. Having the body of a pop troll and the fur and stripes of a funk troll. Y/N was singing to herself while collecting blueberries. "I thought I heard singing." Said a female voice. Y/N turned round and saw two Mount Rageons.
Y/N moved away seeing the looks in their eyes. She turned on her heel and ran away dropping her basket of blueberries. "Go after her bro!" She heard the female scream. Y/N looked back as a hand came towards her. She screamed as the hand enclosed around her.
That's how she ended up in this diamond prison. She sighed curling up into a tighter ball. She didn't even hear the two pop stars walking in. "You gonna greet us or what?" A voice said making the troll jump. She looked up and saw Vaneer holding another diamond prison. She saw a Blue troll with Pink hair looking terrified trying to frantically get out. Vaneer put him next to you. "Maybe now you've got a friend you'll stop complaining about us not letting your talent go to waste!" Velvet said laughing while walking away with her brother.
Y/N looked over and gasped at who it was. "You're Floyd from Brozone. I'm Y/N" She said placing her hands on the diamond. He looked over and nodded sadly. "How long have you been here?" Floyd asked placing his own hands on the diamond prison he was in. "I'm not sure a long time. Look at me." She held up her arms. Floyd gasped seeing her hand see through. "My feet are the same." She sighed sitting back down. "How?" He asked hitting his prison closer to her so they were right next to each other. "You see that spray nozzle on top? They spray it and it sucks my power out. They can't sing themselves so use our power to sing themselves." She explained. Floyd looked horrified. "That's worse than lip syncing. Are you okay?" He asked placing his hand on the glass. "I'm okay now but it hurts when they do it." Y/N looked at Floyd, she only just noticed how beautiful his eyes were. She placed her hand where his was placed on the other side.
They both stared into each other eyes sadly. "I'm so happy I'm not alone anymore." Y/N said as tears rolled down her face. Floyd's face softened. "I'm sorry its bad enough I'm stuck in here, but now they're doing it to another troll." She crumbled on the floor. "Hey hey, don't worry, we'll find a way out." He knelt down looking at her face. She sniffed wiping her eyes. Floyd smiled making Y/N smile back.
Now she has someone she can talk to. Maybe this experience won't be that bad. (We all know how the movie goes so we can assume it will be bad)
A/N: Here's the Floyd oneshot. I love Clay but I have a soft spot for Floyd. I just want to protect him from everything.
@pendephoebe
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bfbkg · 1 year
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I’m so invested in your cruise story you don’t understand 😭 but what do you think would happen after the cruise was over? considering we’re not in Japan and he is, how would we navigate that? lowkey I do think bakugou is built for long distance too tbh
bro i already mentally planned an almost ending with a little angst. when there’s a couple days left, you end up ignoring him because you think you have feelings for him and you’re already too attached and you’re trying to make the heartbreak easier for when it finally comes. your friends are saying you’re dumb because you might as well spend all the time left together but you’re already hurting about saying goodbye to him.
so you ignore him. saying no when he texts you, saying you already have plans, saying you want to be with your friends today, signing up for different shit he’s doing and eating in your room. you’ve even got bakugou sitting at a table with your friends (minus you) asking if he’s done something wrong.
“well no but she’s in her head right now. you’re gonna have to talk to her.”
and bakugou leaves the table like the fuck does that mean? so he goes back to his table and it’s todoroki who tells him to just go to your room to talk to you. so he does, stomps up and knocks on your door. you look through the peep hole to see him standing there.
“sorry katsuki i’m busy i can’t talk right now.”
“no you’re not. just open up and we can talk.”
you sound sad, childish, “i don’t want to talk.”
and bakugou’s got patience, “we have to. we can’t make this all be nothing when it clearly was… something. lets be good.”
you feel bad now, so slowly you open the door and after spending nearly everyday together, one day away has bakugou’s heart breaking and mending all together. you’re in a loose shirt and denim shorts and he notices you were just sitting on your balcony.
“hey princess.”
you nod, biting a smile away, “katsuki.”
he looks around your room, the mess he’s so used to on the floor, bikinis hanging up and makeup scattered across the counter. “looks like an explosion went off in here.”
“not one of yours.”
he raises an eyebrow and stomps past you to sit on one of your balcony chairs. you follow after him to find him already comfortably slouched. he slaps his thigh, “sit here or there.” he nudges his thumb to the seat you were in previously. you’re weak under his gaze so you slide your ass onto his lap, leaning your head on his chest.
there’s three beats of silence minus the rock of the ship and the woosh of the waves. there’s an island ahead of you and the sky is only now getting darker. you sigh, you’ll miss it here.
“so talk to me. why’re you ignorin’ me today?” and he doesn’t include the fact that it felt like his heart was breaking in the process.
“because i feel stupid.”
“how?”
and you sigh again, refusing to look him in the eyes, “i know this has to end. we only had a month and then we go back to real life, i know this. but i’m just very…”
“attached? don’t want to go back to life without you? there’s feelings, lots of feelings.” he fills in for you and you look up at him so quickly you almost get whiplash.
“seriously? you feel the same?”
he chuckles, “of course i fuckin’ do. i’d never spend this much time with anyone if i didn’t like them more than the recommended amount.”
his joke is dumb but it achieves the goal of making you smile but it’s gone quicker than it arrived, “but what about when it’s over? what if it was just the magic of the cruise or because we don’t actually know each other out of this environment.”
he shrugs nonchalantly while you’re all pent up with nerves still, you play with his gold chain around your neck. “i’d love to know you outside of the magic cruise, if you let me?”
you look up at him to find him looking out to the sea then back at you. you whisper, “but we don’t even live in the same country.”
“babe, i travel for my job and i’m rich remember, i can just fly you over when you’re free.” he smiles at your inside joke of calling him a rich boy.
“so you’re willing to do long distance? with your busy lifestyle and saving the country and whatever?”
bakugou wraps his arms around your waist, tilting his head up to brush his lips against yours. “i have a feeling at the pit of my stomach that what i feel for you won’t come along often. maybe once a lifetime type shit so i’m willing to do anything you want. including long distance or fuckin’ buying you a private jet to come when you choose.”
“you promise?”
“that i’ll get you a private jet? fuck yeah.”
you shake your head, “no stupid, that you’re willing to do this long distance?”
“yeah. also the private jet is a bigger promise because i’d still be paying for it even if you end up telling me to fuck off the first week we’re back home.”
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