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#I make a playlist I dress like the vibe I think about it for weeks
honeytonedhottie · 2 months
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becoming an academic weapon challenge⋆.ೃ࿔*:・✍🏽
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this is a fun little challenge i created that'll hopefully help u to build good academic habits that'll improve ur grades and help inspire you to pursue excellence in ur academic life.
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STEP ONE : ROMANTICIZE THE HECK OUT OF SCHOOL
when u learn to enjoy going to school, your going to be motivated to do well in school. because school is so IMPORTANT not only for ur education but also ur future. so take school seriously. and if u wanna become an academic weapon for the long term the best thing u can do is learn to make the best of, and enjoy it.
some ways to romanticize school :
create a school playlist that embodies the school vibes that u wanna have : i have lots of new jeans in my school playlist : i rly like the songs cookie, ditto and hurt for when im at school
ur appearance : if u go to a school where u dont have to wear uniforms, i strongly recommend getting dressed and getting ready meticulously bcuz when u look good, u feel good, and therefore u perform well. if u do wear uniform, wear accessories or hairstyles that make u feel and look pretty. i wear leg warmers with my school uniform and my signature is hair clips and barrettes.
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read at school : i always walk around with a book bcuz i like to read a lot but if reading isnt ur thing, listen to a podcast about something that interests u (i rly like true crime)
take pride in ur notes : invest in cute stationary! i swear, sometimes i dont feel like studying but since my stationary is super cute and pink i get motivated to study just by looking at it lol. invest in quality stationary that u love and make ur notes look pleasing to you, and also effective. effective + aesthetically pleasing.
doing homework/studying in the library : or at least changing the scenery and location that u do ur homework from time to time. do yk how boring it is to do work in the same place every single day? give urself a break from the places u see all the time and spend time studying or doing homework outside of ur home. in a cafe or in the library, inside or outside, just change the scenery a bit
start a video diary : i started a little video diary with my friends so that we can remember our school memories. i just think its rly cute and a great way to bond with ur friends, make memories, and romanticize school.
STEP TWO : CREATE A STUDY REGIMEN
every single day study (at least for a little bit) ofc this will vary depending on ur personal schedule but the goal is to do a little bit of studying everyday, and if that isnt possible, designating 3 days a week to a thorough studying session.
the way that i divide my time with a study session is 40 minutes of work time and 20 minutes of downtime. during the 40 minutes of work time u need to LOCK IN. lock in on whatever assignment needs to be complete or lock in on whatever material it is that ur studying. ofc this'll differ between all subjects but dont study all subjects in one night!! thats ambitious, but i find it'll just burn u out so stick to studying for 2-3 subjects max.
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STEP THREE : ADVOCATING FOR URSELF
this step is for everyone who feels a bit shy during school but u need to raise ur hand and ask questions!! dont focus on simply learning the material, the goal is to understand the material. understand it enough so that then u can explain it to someone else. thats how you can know when you've studied enough.
dont feel bad for asking a bunch of questions, its literally the teachers job to help you. so advocate for urself, if u need extra classes or a bit of extra help make sure that u get that for urself bcuz at the end of the day the only one responsible for ur grade is you.
STEP FOUR : THE RULES OF THE CHALLENGE
complete every assignment as if it was for a grade - dont half ass ur assignments, give every assignment 100%
study a little bit everyday or have thorough study sessions three times a week
romanticize school
ask one or more questions per teacher
FURTHER RESOURCES :
how to study consistently without burning out - by me
studying tips from a straight A student - @universalitgirlsblog2
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thatgirlie-diaries · 5 months
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Academic tips that work for me
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Hello girlies! This is a post that I have been delaying for like 2 weeks, but now it's time or me to post it. In this blog I will give you all the things I do to keep myself getting high grades and maintain the "intelligent" persona I have worked for since I started studying my college career and fortunately others see me this way now.
I do not study hevy or know a lot about studying methods, I am more into "smart work > hard work" kind of thing
My personal tips
This are my tips being an auditory person focused on being effortless
Understand your learning style: Are you visual? Auditory? Or kinesthetic? By knowing this you can apply studying methods that are efficient for you.
Pay attention to your classes!: I think the main reason I slay effortlessly my exams is because of this so I only need a quick study. You will be saving future time since your study sessions will be lighter because you will remember lots of the things.
Participate / Ask questions: It's easy, you will get points with your teachers as a great student, plus you will get your questions solved.
Put your on a place you can't see it so it doesn't distract you, for classes or when you need to study / get work done.
Study in a place when you feel comfortable, it can be at an cafe or at the library, even in your bedroom at a desk, what matters is that you feel comfortable and that you get the feel of "this is a place where I can study / do my assignments" and not feel lazy or uncomfortable by "x or y" reason. As a plus, keep your space clean and only with the necessary at sight.
Use music that doesn't distract you and you vibe with: Listen to music that doesn't have lyrics, but that's a basic by now. What I recommend you is to listen to music that you just vibe with to get your desired mood and motivation. In my case, I listen to videogame soundtracks since it makes me feel relaxed or to classical music because I fee like "that business girly", either way music helps me concentrate.
Romanticize your studies: This can mean different things to all of you reading this post, I am talking about making your academic journey fun and pleasing rather than streesing! Some ideas are having cute stationery, take cute notes, act like one of your fav academic characters, have study playlists, drinking coffee, go to the library or to cafes, dress cute for school, read, light candles, watch "study with me" videos and study vlogs, create a pinterest board, stablish academic goals, etc.
Do your homework when you have free time at school / college or do it as a first thing after your schedule, this will help you save time. Think about it, if you do it while having free time at school / college you don't need to do it at home. And if you need to do it at home, if done as the first thing, you will either way get so much free time and can focus on other tasks or activities freely.
Be organized: Have a bullet journal or use an app to keep track of your subjects and assignments. By this you will remember and keep in sight upcoming deadlines and events.
Take care of your academic relationships: I make sure that the people inside my circle of friends are girls (mainly, but boys too) who I feel comfortable, have fun with but also are similar to me in the sense that they take seriously her studies and are good teammates. Outside of them I also focus on other potential classmates that are intelligent and have similar values. There is no need to bother on the ones who don't attend classes, are irresponsable and don't even know what are they doing in the course.
Take care of yourself: Ask yourself? Will it be worth it while not sleeping enough, having a poor diet and exercise? By not letting yourself rest or have fun from time to time? By not practicing self-care? By not practicing any hobby or taking the time for your interests ? Please take care of yourself, girl, this is the lowest part of the pyramid. The reason to care is not only your wellbeing, but also because having a poor lifestyle can have bad effects for you that also affect your performance, and we won't like that.
Now go and slay your academic year / course! 𑄽𑄺ྀ
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ohmytomorrowisthursday · 11 months
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AOT characters in university
Hiii this is my first post like this. It is literally so unserious and silly please don’t take it personally if I roast ur fave. Some of these are soooo dumb but I hope u enjoy! 
cw: drugs, weed, drinking
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Floch: this dude is 100% in a frat. The guy who stands at the door decides who gets in. For the boys in absolutely every possible way. Has punched multiple holes through walls. Doesn’t talk in class, if he does his whole personality is based on being a frat boy for life. Finance major. Always wants to be ‘devil’s advocate’ in class debates. Says edgy shit just to get a rise out of people. Scared of Erwin. Posts thirst traps on instagram. Is part of the boxing club. Has never read a single page of any text book ever, just watches YouTube videos to learn. 
Connie: You meet him during freshman orientation and he is now your ride or die. He’s outgoing and makes friends easily, but would 100% rather spend Friday nights playing video games and smoking weed with his friends instead of going to a party. Calls his mom often. Studying accounting because he wants to have a stable job. Makes lo-fi tracks and posts them on YouTube. Skips his morning classes because he refuses to get up for his 8am’s. He won’t plan anything but is always a good time when he comes out. Loves going for Korean barbecue. Loves watching reality tv and talking about it in the group chat.
Jean: Certified stressed and depressed. Definitely studying comp-sci even though he’d rather be in the arts. Is in your English class and even tho he complains about the work he still would rather write essays than look at his coding. Talks so much shit about the frats, still tried to join and never stops talking about them. Will  get into a fight with Eren during frosh week.  His mom also calls him all the time but he gets super embarrassed when she does. Brings all of his laundry home over break so that she can do it. Jean is always looking for a good time, he’s definitely planning nights out and trying to get the full college experience. Something embarrassing always happens when he goes out on the weekend and Connie and Sasha always make sure to remind him of it. The person you’d call for advice when you’re having a bad day.
Levi: Sick of it and annoyed. Philosophy major. Always debates in class and wins. You met him through Hange. You see him at the gym super late at night, between 11pm-1am when no one else is around. Hates big parties- especially frat parties- but always will text u asking how it is and if you want to leave. He likes to cook and invites you to come over to eat. Likes dressing nice for class. Uses black mechanical pencils and exclusively takes notes in black muji notebooks. Likes dark humour and will only talk in the group chat to add some sarcastic remark. Always drinking tea (duh) out of the same reusable mug. Likes going to low-key gatherings with his friends and playing card games and chess. Volunteers for the student food bank. Makes Spotify playlists. Has insomnia and will answer every and all texts you send, no matter what time it is.  LOVES to talk shit and roast people who he thinks are elitist, mean and hypocritical, especially Zeke. Works as a TA and is always busy and grumpy, but his friends keep him sane.
Historia: Wants to be a veterinarian. Quiet but kind. Has a really aesthetic instagram and is always posting cute coffee shops and pictures of her pets. Her girlfriend Ymir is literally the opposite of her and they both make u laugh. You sit beside her in class because she has a gentle chill vibe and always has extra pencils to give you. Offers you gum. Would give you a tampon if u needed it. Not really in any clubs but you see her studying at cafe’s and she always says hi. 10/10 sweetie. Knits in class.
Eren: President of the frat. He doesn’t even know how he ended up here but now he’s the guy. Kind of nice when he’s alone or in class but an absolute dick when he hangs out with the boys. Gets everyone at the party fired up. His girlfriend and his best friend are so nice. Wants to be a CEO, has no idea what his business will be. Wakes up early to go to the gym and never stops talking about it. Undefeated in Catan and Risk. Secretly a reddit lurker. You helped him study for biology once and he was actually very nice to you. Invites you to the frat parties on the weekend, but doesn’t really talk to you when you go. Loves karaoke and will always find a mic to sing into wherever he is and always picks Britney Spears songs lol. 
Hange: SCIENCE MAJOR. Literally the most outgoing person you’ve ever met. Befriends you in biology and helps you study. Has so many niche interest and friends from each of their hobbies. Brings all of their friends together to hang out and its the most random group of people you’ve ever seen, but everyone still gets along. Encourages you to go to the gym, and is always hitting legs. Definitely signed up for some sports leagues; is in co-ed soccer, basketball and softball. Athletic and smart. Wants to be a marine biologist to understand life under the sea and could talk about it for hours. The person who would drag you from your depression hole after finals season. In 4th year but knows people of all ages. So nice; you miss them when they graduate. 
Sasha: Environmental science major. Loves nature and is part of a hiking club. Smokes weed and makes the most delicious sandwiches ever. Always hanging out with Jean and Connie, loves playing smash bros. Gets along with absolutely everyone and is invited to everything because she’s the most fun. Is so good at beer pong and always wins tournaments. She has the craziest stories. Gives u a sweater for no reason, she’s just the type to do it. Goes on runs every day and has a dog at home that she misses soooo much. Comes back from winter break and gives everyone cookies. Not really the type to date but everyone has a crush on her. Sends the funniest memes to the group chat. FaceTimes you with a wild story while she’s walking across campus. Always has snacks in her dorm room. 
Erwin: Law student that has a degree in political science. Active member of the student society and always trying to get better food in the dining hall. Is your tutor and is sooooo nice. Gives u advice on how to make it through university. You could ask him any question and he would be able to help you. Likes to read. Him and Armin are your late night library friends. Loves to talk about deep random scenarios with you. Drinks black coffee and he’s muscular but you’ve never seen him eat. Is too busy trying to network in the legal field to go out to parties, but when he does he’s always the most popular person there. Used to be an athlete but doesn't really talk about it. Would walk you home from a bar to make sure you get home safe. Has no tolerance for bullshit and is ruthless to mean people; you’re happy that he is your friend. Would send you book recommendations to read over the summer. Plays chess with Levi. 
Mikasa: Her major is undecided. You meet her at the gym. She always works out late and is seemingly only ever studying or doing her daily circuit. Isn’t outgoing but is nice when approached. Not really into parties or big events but will come out for dinner or go on a walk with you after class. Her boyfriend is the president of the frat and they couldn’t be more different but she still loves him and says that he is a sweetie with her. Loves it when pet-a-dog day comes around. Enjoys spending time in the women’s centre on campus. She tells every girl that she meets that if they ever need help they can call her and she means it. The frat guys are terrified of her. Has an instagram with two pictures and they’re both of flowers. Likes collecting tiny figurines. Plans self-defence classes for the girls. 
Reiner: Bruh Reiner is 100% that transfer kid who still wears his old universities hoodie EVERY DAY. History major and way too into WWII. Likes to read for fun. Loves bears and will send you the cutest tiktoks. Look like he could kill you - is a cinnamon roll. Sad boy energy and loves to watch rom-coms. Listens to emo music and Kpop while he's working out. He knows where the best lookouts are. Likes older women lol. He loves going for all you can eat wings. Will have the highest grades in the class but never seem to actually study. Wants to be a teacher. Likes painting nice little pictures. Does yoga. 
Armin: Another day-one friend. You meet him in your math class and the two of you get through it together. He is kind and always remembers stories that you tell him. Loves going to arcade bars and doing anything that involves a challenge. Engineering student. Loves to solve riddles and play Zelda. Watches the planet earth series and sends you facts that he learns about animals. Knows when the next meteor shower is happening and will drive the friend group out to go stargazing. Is doing a study abroad in a different country so that he can learn a new language and see things from a different perspective. Despite being more shy and reserved, he is an absolute riot when drunk and makes everyone dance with him. He always brings the best snacks to late night study sessions.
Zeke: Philosophy major and literally will take whatever side of the argument Levi is against. Fighting with strangers on twitter and believes his opinion is always right. Will give you his opinion about your life even if you don’t ask for it. TA’s a class and is ridiculously hard on everyone when he’s grading papers. Hot and popular but emotionally unavailable because of his daddy issues. Wants his PHD mostly just to flex lol. Is on the baseball team and is always fidgeting with his hands. Has expensive taste in food and likes craft beer and nice wine. Has broad knowledge but its not deep. Wears boujie clothes and has a nice backpack. Prefers backpacking over staying in hotels because he thinks it is more ‘authentic’. Can speak multiple languages. Loves writing silly notes on your papers. Says that he is too good for the frats but still is there with Eren and Floch every Friday night lol. 
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simiinthemirror · 2 months
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She's Having Seconds
Cate Dunlap X gn! reader
(Part two of Forbidden Fruits)
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Find part one here
Masterlist
Playlist for the vibes
Summary: You haven't seen Cate since she ended things and it's been eating at you, can things ever go back to how they were? Do you even want them to?
Word count: 3.2K
Warnings: Minors do not interact. Adult themes, alcohol, swearing, angst, fwb situation, suggestive content (smut implied but nothing too graphic), gender neutral reader
Find on AO3 (sometimes I post on there slightly quicker)
Minors do not interact
The thing about liking someone who you was never fully yours meant that you could never admit it out loud in the first place. Your entanglement with Cate was cursed to be a secret even after it failed.
When things went south, the burden was yours alone to bare. There wasn't a time like the present when you needed a friend to rant to, but what would you say? Would Jordan even get it? Would Andre? You can only imagine their looks of judgement, the only thing keeping you from admitting your dilema. You'd dug yourself into a hole and you didn't think you'd be able to get out of it. Somehow you'd lost more than one friend, the group consoling Cate after the loss of her boyfriend leaving you to deal with your feelings alone.
The gala in commemoration of Professor Brink was the last place you wanted to be. A room full of uptight Vought executives and a stung up tale of Luke's last moments making the place feel like a personal hell. Maybe if you'd been higher up in the rankings someone would know your name, making the endless small talk a fraction more bearable. You'd only come because you knew Cate would be here. You had to speak with her.
It was now Cate's turn to make herself dissappear, letting your calls go to voicemail. Cate would strategically skip any group activities you showed up to, which you'd noticed after the third time she'd texted Andre or Jordan that she'd changed her mind about coming. Eventually, you got the point, choosing to only see your friends when Cate was absent. At least then she wouldn't isolate herself.
The void in your relationship left an ache in your chest which was more telling that this was something deeper than just a friends with benefits situation. It felt like a classic break up and you'd not even been dating to start with. If only she'd just talk to you instead of going out of her way to make sure your paths didn't cross. This is how she must have felt when you avoided her for a week. Karma was a bitch.
You smoothed down the front of your dress shirt, the material feeling tight against your chest as you waded through the crowd. You hadn't exactly been invited to the gala, instead having to purchase a pricy ticket that would go towards whatever fund the Vought board had decided on. You weren't going to miss your chance to talk to Cate even if it meant wearing an outfit way too formal for your liking. If you had gone together, maybe she'd have helped you pick one out. She'd always been the more fashionable one, knowing what patterns to pair with what. Shopping with her was fun, from the mini parades you'd do, to the times she'd pull you into a changing room to make out. Her defence being that you looked too good to resist whenever you'd get caught and have to rely on her powers to save you. You think back on the memories fondly, hoping to relive them some time soon once things were settled between you two.
All you needed now was to find her, the crowd seeming like an endless sea of people. You spot Jordan's figure sat at a table and approach them, silently willing they'd be of some help to the turmoil you were in.
"Hey, have you seen Cate?"
Jordan looks up at you from behind a glass of champagne. "I'm surprised you don't know where she is. You two are usally glued to the hip."
Their implication sits in the air for a moment. You weren't sure how much they knew but you didn't need a lecture right now.
"We're not really talking at the minute. Can I have some of that?" You gesture at the champagne flute they held as you sat down, not caring that they were still drinking it.
Their eyes narrow but they shrug and hand the glass over. "Guess you need it more than me. Why aren't you two talking? She honestly hasn't mentioned anything to me." Jordan pauses for a second, as if remembering something. "In fact now that I think about it, I haven't seen you two together in a while.
Of course you haven't, you think. How would you even answer their question? You couldn't just say that the friendship you once had with Cate was down the drain along with the relationship you'd formed with her body while her boyfriend was oblivious. No, that would sound crazy.
You sigh taking a long sip from the glass until it's contents were empty, wishing you had something stronger to make this whole thing easier. "It's complicated, Jordan."
That was the simple way to put it.
You watch them study your face and something clicks in their head. Like a puzzle which was missing a piece up until this very moment. The full picture finally visible to them. You look away feeling small under their gaze, like a test subject under a microscope. Jordan could read any of their friends like a book, that should be their power. Tek knight would honestly be proud.
"So that's what this has all been about." Jordan didn't need to say the words out loud, they'd always been observant. "I knew it. I'm not going to judge you right now, because of where we are but you two need to sort this out." Their tone was heavy and you could tell Jordan was holding themself back from saying more. Nothing got past them.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this, I hope you know that. Luke was my friend. Even if I was a shitty one. And Cate, I just-"
"Look I don't need to hear it, that was your choice. All I know that whatever is going one between you two, is fucking up the friendship group. I mean, when was the last time we all hung out anyways?"
You count the days, no weeks, in your head. "Probably been a while. First I was ignoring her and now she's paying back the favour." You toy with the empty glass, freezing it with your palms just for the sake of it.
"I wanna roote for you, really I do. It's just this situation is really weird. Especially when everything with Luke is still fresh."
"Trust me, Jordan. I know." You rest your face in your palms, taking a deep breath in for a second. At least you hadn't gotten a lecture.
"I can see this is really chewing you up, but you'll figure this out. I know you will. Plus, I can't say I don't miss having the gang together." You appreciate their comment, a reminder that not all was lost.
"Yeah, you're right. Getting high alone just isn’t the same." You smile lightly and they return one from across the table. "And thanks Jordan, for at least understanding. You're a good friend."
"It's whatever. I guess it helped I kinda saw this coming." The fidgit with one of the rings in their finger.
"Were we that obvious?" You'd thought you'd done a decent job at hiding what you and Cate had from your friends, but maybe not.
"I wouldn't say obvious but you don't look at any of us the way you look at her. As for the others, I guess they didn't think to look. Helps we're all high half the time." They shrug nonchalantly.
You don't say anything, thinking of all the times Cate had caught you staring and had nudged you with her elbows playfully. Times you'd been watching her lips move as she spoke a little too intently because you knew exactly what her mouth could do.
You look around the room, remembering your mission to find Cate. The buzz had not died down, the unlimited supply of drinks probably keeping the gala alive. You push your chair back, the sudden movement causing it to rock back. Jordan's eyes shoot up in amusement as they watch you balance yourself on the table.
"Guess that's my queue to leave. I'll see you later, hope the rest of your night isn't too boring."
"Well nothing beats the drama you have going on but I'll make it work." They get up the same time as you and head off in the opposite direction.
In the corner of your eye you see a waiter pass by and you find your feet carrying you to the bar, the champagne you'd stolen from Jordan not quite cutting it. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to drink more when you were planning on reconnecting with Cate but something about facing her sober made your stomach churn.
You follow the waiter towards a dim lit bar which was nothing short of packed. Bartenders were working overtime to fill up drink requests from the gala attendees with exquisite tastes. Most likely Vought board members and their well travelled clientele. Some ordering drink combinations you'd never even heard of, let alone could regularly afford. You take advantage of the open bar.
Beside you, an older woman in a tailored blazer and pencil skirt stood ordering a drink. Something about her presence demanded attention, heads turning to watch her. You only wished you had a sliver of her grace in this moment.
She utters what you can only assume is French to the bartender and a pale brown drink with a cherry garnish is placed in front of her. She strides off, content with her drink.
You'd picked up on the words "Vieux Carré" leaving her mouth and repeat the words with a false air of confidence in your voice. You only hope the bartender wouldn't notice you didn't have a clue what you were getting. They don't comment on your pronunciation but hand you your glass regardless. Within the first sip you noted a hint of whiskey and cognac, the complexity of the drink surprising you. You order a second one, as a peace offering for when you eventually found Cate.
By the time you come across Cate amidst a group of people, the drink in you hand had since warmed. With a flex of your fingers, you chill the drink. There was nothing worse than a room temperature drink.
You let your eyes roam over her body. The dress Cate had on hugged her figure and you couldn't help but stare. She'd swapped her usual leather gloves for sheer black ones that reached her elbows. She looked elegant, she always did and you're reminded just how long it's been since you'd seen her. It was like you were seeing her for the first time, taken aback by her beauty once again. Her blonde hair cascading past her shoulders and a bold red lipstick that contrasts her pale complexion. You'd always had to be more cautious when she wore lipstick, the stains on your face from slopping kissing being harder to hide in the heat of the moment.
After what seems like a century, Cate steps away from the group. Her eyes lazily scanning the crowd before they fall on yours. She doesn't immediately turn away, and you take that hesitation as your sign she at least didn't completely hate you. You could work with that.
You walk across no man's land and bridge the gap between you two to hand her the drink. Cate gives the glass an apprehensive glance before taking it gingerly from you.
"It's chilled, how you like it."
She brings the glass to her nose to smell it, still cautious. "What is it?"
"Honestly, I don't know. Something French? I just overheard someone ordering and it sounded fancy enough for your taste."
Had it always been so hard to talk to Cate? Not that you two did much talking when things were going well, letting your bodies do the communicating. You'd become flaunt in that language, knowing every move to ignite a response from her body like it was designed for just for you. Which is probably what had you rambling at the moment.
She allows herself to taste the drink, her curiousity getting the best of her. "Wait is there vermouth in this? And-" Cate savours the rest of the drink. "Bénédictine? Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"So that's what it was. You know I don't know French or posh liquor, at that."
Cate sighs, the tension between you making permanent roots in the soil. "Yeah, I've seen your Duolingo streak." She places the glass on a nearby table. "Is that all?"
You wipe your hands on your sides, you'd spent so long trying to find Cate that you weren't even sure what to say to her now she was right in front of you. She takes your silence as an answer.
"So you think a drink is what it takes to fix this?" She scoffs. Her patience was wearing thin.
"No, of course not Cate. I care about you, I know I have a the worst way of showing it but I really do." You were wearing your heart on your sleeve, you just hoped she wouldn't break it.
"You expect me to believe that? Last time we spoke you made yourself clear. I'm not worth your time anymore." You could tell it wasn't easy for her to say that but you weren't giving her much else to work with.
"I was being selfish, but it's not what I meant."
"So what do you mean? Just spit it out already." The raise in Cate's voice made a few onlookers turn their heads, not appreciating the outburst in the middle of a memorial event. She didn't care, right now it was about you and her.
You take a deep breath, summoning courage for your confession. You owed her an explanation even if you were unsure how she'd feel about it. Could you ever be more than just a body to keep her company when she was bored? It didn't seem like your friendship would survive that. Overthinking wouldn't help you now. You'd just have to take the leap if faith.
"For the longest time, I've told myself that I can't have what I want. That somethings were just off-limits no matter how much my heart ached for them."
"And then you kissed me by the poolside and it was like breathing for the first time, I couldn't get enough. Your boyfriend, our friends, the school, none of it could keep me away." You take her hands as you spoke, bracing yourself for the rejection. When she doesn't pull away, you continue. It was now or never. Whether that meant fucking up the friendship forever or a chance at being more to her than a sneaky link.
"Cate, when I'm with you, everything makes sense and I got scared. I got scared because no one has made me feel this way before. When Luke was alive it was okay, I didn't have to think about it because I knew you'd never be mine. It was a safety net. But now, it's consuming me and I don't know what to do. You always get what you want and I just don't know if that's me."
Cate's blue eyes turn soft, a softness you hadn't seen in her for a while. You missed it, missed her. Missed being someone that meant something to her. Even when that had just meant being her friend.
"You're wrong about something, I don't always get what I want because I want you and you're so silly not to see that. Yeah, I loved Luke but there's always been space in my heart for you. Do you think I'd risk it if there wasn't? Things might be intense right now but I want this. You make me feel safe, safe enough to face whatever people may say about us. No one makes me laugh as much as you do and I'm so glad we are done ignoring each other. You have to promise not to do that again."
The gentle smile on her face brought you to your knees, one that you'd move mountains for. You hadn't thought this moment would ever come and you had to take a moment to let her words sink in. "I promise."
"You gonna stand there staring or are you gonna kiss me?" She didn't have to tell you twice.
She drops your hands and you let her pull you closer by the waist. Your lips unite for the first time in forever. The familiar feeling of her lips bringing you comfort. You relax into the kiss, her hand not letting go of your waist as if she was about to lose you again. Delicately, you brush her hair to the side, the kiss breathing life into you. It was like water during a drought and you'd been thirsty for so long, hands memorising ever inch of her figure. Cate humming into the kiss as you do.
In the privacy of the dorms you would have been all over each other and ot takes all your willpower to pull away. Halfway through the kiss you'd both forgotten where you were for a second, too caught up in your own little world. You hadn't planned to be the entertainment of the event but somehow a few people still managed to gauk at the scene of you and Cate with your tongues down each other's throats.
Cate smirks at you, panting slightly as she catches her breath. The red lipstick she'd been wearing was no where neat as before and you can only imagine what your lips looked like. "You have a little something on your face."
You chuckle and wipe your face with the back of your hand careful not to get any on your sleeves. The shirt was new and you didn’t fancy staining it. Most of Cate's lipstick comes off, but she brings her fingers up to your lips regardless. She'd acquired a napkin somewhere and she dabs at your mouth.
"There you go, now you look smart as ever." She declares proudly gazing over at you.
"I'm not sure I could say the same about you. Kinda looks like the Joker did your makeup." You watch her nose scrunch up at the jest.
"Don't be mean. Next time I won't kiss you." She was trying to be serious but the pout on her face was too cute to take her words to heart.
"What so, you can resist these lips? I think that would be more punishment for you than anything." You get one of her signature eye rolls in response. "I'm kidding, it's hot. Cause I'm the one who caused it."
"I'm going to stop wearing makeup around you. Then what?"
You pretend to think for a moment, "I can think of a few other ways to let everyone know you're mine. I mean when was the last time I gave you a hickey? Although, I've always preferred the ones that people can't see."
Cate's face flushes and she sucks a breath in. How you missed making her blush, a hard task that you always challenged yourself with. She was normally the less subtle one but you had your moments. Cate composes herself and her usual confidence is back, her eyes going dark at your words. "Is that a promise?"
You don't have time to answer before she's grabbing your hand and leading you towards the crowd. Cate wasn't in any combat classes, but she sure was strong when she wanted to be.
"Wait, where are we going?"
Cate barely looks at you, but you note the eagerness in her stride. "My dorm, your dorm, back alley I don't care."
Now that you could get behind.
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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 4 months
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P&C | Ch. 6: You Can Be My Baby For Tonight
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“Okay, that’s going to be an hour,” I say, pressing the power button. Finally, I made eye contact with Jungkook, who was now busy smelling the fabric softener in my basket. 
“Hhmm, peaches, that’s why you smell so nice,” he grins softly, meeting my eyes. I hide my flustered state with a giggle and pack up. Hoping that something comes up so he can leave, I ask if he has any plans for tonight. He shakes his head. 
“Nope, which reminds me, there's going to be a welcome party at one of the frat houses, you should come,” he says, his doe eyes sparkling under the basement lights. I genuinely try to give it a chance, but the mere thought of another party is making me nauseous. 
“Oh no thank you, I really should just stay back and focus on school,” I reply with a soft smile, hoping he would get the hint. 
“Come on Mira, it's only the second week. Plus, Jiah and Jimin will be there as well.” Jungkook says, not breaking our eye contact. 
“Well, I'll think about it, but thank you again for the invitation. Anyways, why are you so determined to make me go?” I laugh, flipping my hair to the side feeling my ego rise as we speak. 
“Have you become obsessed with me already?” I tease. 
“Relax Kenough, I want to redeem myself from the last party. That was sleep-deprived Jungkook,” he scoffs, leaning back on the laundry machine. 
“Ok ok well, can't wait to see your redemption arc,” I tease, sticking out my tongue as I make my way to the exit door. Jungkook follows behind.
--
When Jungkook said he didn't have any plans for tonight he really meant it. For the next hour, we just walked around campus and talked about our life before university. He was in a band with Tae and Jimin when they were in high school called, Bulletproof Boys. I had to laugh. 
“And you dared to make fun of my shirt?” I cackle, trying to maintain my composure at the goofy name. 
“YAH! That was the best option, be glad we didn't go with Tae's idea, The JJV” he quickly scoffs back, stuttering from frustration. I can't help but begin to hiccup from all the laughing. 
“JJV? That sounds like a disease … or a cult. Did you guys even want to attract girls or …?” I giggle, looking him dead in the eyes. He pushes me gently before sitting on the bench in front of the dorm building. 
“So, have you decided yet?” Jungkook quickly changes the subject as I take a seat beside him. Amid the giggles, I look up at him with confusion. 
“Oh, you meant the party? I mean sure, I guess, I'm feeling better now. Anyways, who would want to miss out on the opportunity of seeing a not sleep-deprived Jungkook?” I smile at him, sticking out my tongue. 
“Be careful Miraya, you might manifest something,” he leans in, giving me a grin. I pretend to puke and walk to the entrance. Again, Jungkook follows like a puppy, teeth peeking through his soft smile. 
--
7:00 p.m.
Jiah: Hey lovely, are you almost ready? I’ll pick you up in about 15 mins. 
I look down at my phone, hair still in rollers as I touch up my makeup. My body tenses up, nerves are at an all-time high. I’m still not 100% sure about going but evidently, it’s too late now. What’s the big deal? It’s just going to be me and Jiah, Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook. Stop it, Mira. I dismiss the tension and quickly fix up my hairdo with a layer of hairspray. 
We were at the destination within the next hour, both of us looking great as usual. Jiah wore her new mini silk dress with a sweetheart neckline. Hair in a half-up, half-down style she was giving sexy princess vibes. I was contemplating between two options but decided to go with a black ruffle mini-dress with my knee-high boots, leaving my hair down in soft curls. Borderline looking like I planned on cosplaying someone from Pirates of the Caribbean, but hey, it looked good so who am I to change? 
The welcome party was set at a huge frat house. Very surreal as I’ve never seen one in real life, let alone stepped foot into it. After leaving our Uber, I could see the mob of people flowing in through the entrance door lit by bright neon lights. Jiah gives me a reassuring smile as we blend into the madness. 
“Hey, girls!” I hear Jimin’s voice waving from across the room. Jiah waves back as we try to make it through the crowd of people, some of whom are already tipsy while others are too busy busting down moves on the dance floor. The whole place smells of alcohol and a mix of every perfume you can think of.  
“Hi baby,” Jiah melts into Jimin’s embrace as I say hi to the rest of the guys. 
“Hey Flip-flops, don’t you look nice?” I hear Tae’s tease as he salutes a hello. My eyes can’t help but roll, as I giggle at him. 
“Hey Tae, you don’t look too shabby yourself,” I grin with a soft smile. We spend some time catching up before I ask about Jungkook’s whereabouts. 
“He should be by the food table, said he was going to get us drinks,” Tae replies as I nod and excuse myself before heading to the said place. 
It was like looking for Waldo, everyone looked identical under the dim lights. Before heading back to the group with a plate full of various snacks, I’m halted by the feel of a hand on my shoulder. 
“Hi Peaches” Jungkook whispers into my ear. My eyes widen as he smiles back, his doe eyes somehow still sparkling. 
“Oh, peaches?” I giggle raising my right eyebrow. 
“What? Tae can call you flip-flops but you draw the line on peaches?” he grins, leaning back on the table, taking the plates off of my hands. I try to talk back but he is already walking back to the group, looking back at my appalled state. 
--
So far the party was nice, we talked, or should I say gossiped, ate lots of food, and drank. I am not intrigued by the idea of alcohol, but it fits the theme tonight so I let loose. However, from the few instances that I did consume it, I can definitely say I’m a light drinker. The phenomenon proved itself once again, as I found myself swaying on the dance floor after two tequila cocktails. Jiah and Jimin decided to take a breather outside, while Tae was busy playing beer pong with his other buddies. 
“Please don’t stop the music … music … music,” I muttered under my breath as Rihana blasted on the speaker. With my hands in the air and eyes closed my body gave into the ambience. Before I could mutter the next lyric I was interrupted by Jungkook’s presence. 
“There you are, baby,” he says, his body filling the space between us. His hands pretend to rest on my waistline, cautious to not make actual contact. 
“Baby?” I question, looking up at his concentrated face. My eyes are hazed, lids heavy as I try to make out what is happening. 
“It was either that or some random stranger disturbing you,” he whispers into my ear, as I feel his lip ring on my skin. I was too drunk to even notice the guy in question, but something about Jungkook’s protective side made me step closer. 
“I like baby more than peaches,” I tip-toe, trying to reach his ear, placing my hands on his broad shoulders. Within a split second, my sober consciousness revokes my action, backing away as my gaze lowers to the floor. I try to shake my head before letting out a soft sorry. 
Jungkook steps closer and lifts my chin with his index finger and thumb, his eyes meet mine as he lets out a little chuckle. 
“You can be my baby for tonight,” he reassures, knowing dam well that he would be dead on a stick if I was sober. However, right now, neither of us protest the tension as our bodies groove with the music. My hands are once again on his shoulders, as he gently pulls me closer by the waist. Eyes locked on each other, the room becomes silent. For a moment, it was just the two of us. 
“You look beautiful by the way,” he whispers into my ear as I lean my head on his chest, feeling the fatigue build up. I try to reply with a soft thank you before feeling my heavy lids close. Jungkook’s hold on my body becomes firmer, as I melt into his embrace, the smell of his cologne blending in with my perfume.  
Before he could check on my state, Jungkook was interrupted by a bright flash coming from Tae’s phone camera. His boxy smile grows wider when he analyzes the situation on the dance floor. Pocking out his tongue he teases Jungkook with the photo, before taking a sip of water in hopes of sobering up. 
“How did this happen?” Tae chuckles, trying to see if I was still awake. His hands inches away from moving some stands of hair out of my face before being interrupted by Jungkook tsk. Tae shakes his head, raises his hands and backs away with a wide smile, rolling his eyes.
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palmtreesx3 · 8 months
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Act 1 - Foreplay
Aphrodisiac (Robin's Chapter)
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Summary: (6.8K) The pair are settling in at The Hideout but not without some bumps in the road, and are exploring the city and sampling a bit of all that it has to offer. Steve is trying hard to find things that he likes to do and he's totally baffled to see Robin so effortlessly spreading her wings. Robin's got a date. A real legitimate, public date and she quickly gets fixated. Meanwhile Steve's got another lonely evening by himself. The pair - well maybe just Robin - gets in the mood in this Robin-centric installment of Act 1. 
Warnings: it's a sex shop and generally just NSFW so 18+. Sex toys and self-exploration, female masturbation, shop talk, fluffy affection, LGBTQ acceptance (which isn't much of a warning, it's a goddamn right), self-loathing, mild depression and *you* make your first appearance.
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Almost-July, 1993
What Robin failed to consider when wagering a digital pet bet with Steve Harrington is that this boy was born and raised competitive. She forgot that in the Harrington household "lose" wasn't in their vocabulary. She also forgot just how forgetful she is. Ironic. So it should have been no surprise that in the last 24 hours, her Tamagotchi has been sick three times and was always beeping incessantly. 
"Rob, you're a horrible mother. You're gonna owe me 5 drinks before we even get our first paycheck." Steve gloats, tucking his healthy, happy, bouncing pet into his pocket before sitting down to lace up his sneakers. 
Meanwhile, Robin who is shoving her feet unceremoniously into her Chucks ignores the shit talking and dishes out some of her own. "Dude, we have to do something about this." She kicks her chin in his direction as he smooths out his clothes. 
"What?" Steve snaps back.
"I can't believe you still dress like that. Honestly. 1984 called, they want their Sears Catalog back." 
"Ok Robin, sorry I didn't know you also got a job as the fuckin fashion police."
"I'm just saying, small town Indiana polo fashion ain't gonna cut it in the big city, boy. You wanna keep bagging hotties like you did the other weekend, we'll have to do something. You don't have to dress for mommy anymore." And as she says the last bit she immediately winces "Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean … "
"No it's okay, Rob. I know what you're trying to say. Maybe. Maybe once we have some extra money I'll get something new. You can help me. Deal?"
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After a few weeks of exploring, Robin and Steve have zeroed in on quite a few of their own places. A bench they prefer in the nearby park, nestled in the shade of a swaying willow tree; a greasy corner store that sells the best breakfasts to sop up what's left of an evening out; an arcade that makes them nostalgic and think of the kids at home and gives them something to talk about when they call; and this place - a nice little coffee shop tucked in between towering complexes and quaint stores just one block over from their place. There are always records playing of the baristas favorite bands, the coffee is good and strong and cheap and they're always open when they need it. 
Steve and Robin have gone to the coffee shop almost daily since they found it. But this time Robin was out on an errand herself so she popped in on her own to grab two cups to-go and bring back to the apartment, where Steve, no doubt, was still sleeping. Perusing the wall of records in rotation while she waits for her order, Robin is startled by a quiet voice beside her, whispering closer in her ear than she's used to from a stranger. "This week it's good stuff, huh? I'm loving The Smashing Pumpkins new one." the voice says. 
Robin's eyes dart to her left and quickly back up to the wall of vinyls, the stranger's proximity and attention making her squirm just a bit. "My last .. girlfriend. She was into all the pop stuff. Not really my vibe, ya know." And at that, Robin's eyes rise to meet the womans who is standing next to her. There's not much that can actually shut Robin Buckley up, but here's a few: a really fuckin' beautiful girl, eye contact and someone casually talking about their sexuality. It was the perfect storm. 
Robin bit her plump, pink lips and nodded at the stranger, feeling a little ridiculous at the interaction so far. What is she supposed to say? Do I ask her about her ex- GIRLFRIEND? Do people really talk that openly here in the city? I don't even know her name! Robin's voice may be silent but her brain is going a mile a minute.
"Alex." The stranger says. Just as the barista shouts Robin! Your order is up! in the background. 
As Robin reaches across the counter for the two steaming cups, Alex counters "And I'm assuming you, are in fact Robin." with a grin. "No boyfriend today?" She says, and as Robin's eyes twist in confusion, she pipes up again "No no, I'm sorry, I'm not being weird I swear. I just come here a lot and I've seen you guys. Nothing freaky I promise."
"No." Is all Robin awkwardly says, totally deadpan. 
Alex waits for more, but nothing comes. After a moment she chuckles, picking up her own cup of tea and raising it to her lips to take a sip, but not before whispering out "No, what?" in a question. 
"Ha. No. No he's not my boyfriend." Robin says as she plays with the hem of her denim cutoff shorts. 
"Ah, too bad. He's a hottie." Alex shrugs and Robin stands confused. It's happening before she knows it started and Robin's dumpster fire of a brain starts rambling. 
"Wait. What? No he's not my boyfriend he's my roommate and yeah we come here, we're still kinda new in town. We're actually from a small town - Hawkins - but what… I'm sorry I thought you said your ex-girlfriend liked pop music so… "
"Yeah. That's what I said." Alex takes another nonchalant sip of her steaming mug. 
" So .. but Steve. He's… " Robin stutters out. 
"Well he is hot isn't he?" The woman counters. 
"I mean, yeah I guess. He has no trouble with the ladies if that's what you mean. Always Mr god-damned Popular cause he has perfect fuckin' hair but I swear they should see him in the morning, it's not all rainbows and butterflies then!" and the words just keep spouting out of her mouth uncontrollably. 
Alex looks on at her, almost endearingly, as she lets her go and spit it all out. "You done?" She asks. 
Robin nods, mutters an apology for her rambling and starts to head towards the door "I should go. Nice to meet you, Alex."
She shuffles her steps quickly in an attempt to bolt as far away as she can from the pretty girl who she just made a fool of herself in front of. God, I'm gonna have to tell Steve we need to find a new coffee place. Shit. 
"Wait! Wait, sorry. I can be intense." Alex muses, kicking her feet at the chair next to where they stand, before looking back at Robin's flushing face. "Yes, I did say ex-girlfriend. I also said your whatever he is is hot. I'm not stalking you, I just must get my tea when you guys get your coffee and, I hope I don't make you totally run off in terror when I say this next part, but I'm gonna anyway - I have just been distracted by you guys. I thought you were both pretty hot and I was distracted by the coffee shop couple every time I'm here. You were solo today so I thought I'd break the ice. Sorry. I hope I'm not making this weird "
Robin's mouth is absolutely hanging open right now. 
"Yeah, so the tables turned pretty quickly and I'm thinking I'm the one that should be embarrassed right now so, hopefully I see hot coffee shop couple around and I didn't totally scare you away from this place. " 
"Oh God, no. The coffee is too good and too cheap for us to stop coming here. He's not my boyfriend. Steve is 100% my roommate and that's it, no coffee shop couple here. Yeah, he's hot but don't you ever tell him that. Christ, he doesn't need a bigger ego. And the last time I talked to a girl like you I think I peed my pants, so excuse me I'm going to go hurl myself off the Willis Tower, if that's okay with you?"
Alex lets out a deep laugh. A genuine one. She reaches out to touch Robin's forearm, to keep her there… or ground her, she's not sure which. "Please don't. I can't have you falling if it's not for me." and at that Robin's eyes go wide as saucers. "Are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could get dinner? Downtown. Meet here so it's not weird and sketchy first…that is, if your hot roommate doesn't mind I borrow you for a bit?"
She's stunned. Robin has never been asked out on a date before. Is this a date? Holy shit.
She musters up every ounce of courage she has to smile and nod. "I get off work at 6, so can we make it 7?" Only to be interrupted in that moment by the shrill chirping on her keychain signifying yet another dead digital pet. 
A wide, sparkling smile spreads on Alex's face as she starts to head out the door, turning back to shout out "7:00, meet you here. Can't wait! "
And as soon as the bell on the door dings and she's sure it's shut, her brain starts catching up and Robin drops both cups of coffee on the floor. 
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Today, Murray is not entertained by Steve. Usually the banter between the pair has remained humorous and for the most part, friendly. Today Steve is just pissing him off. 
First Steve dropped an entire shipping box of condoms, spilling single wrapped rubbers all over the floor. It took him an hour and twenty three minutes and three side-eyeing customers stepping over him to clean them all up. Then Steve knocked over the mannequins like dominoes after he struggled with the BDSM display Murray assigned to him for the second part of their shift. Robin snickered as Murray delegated the task to Steve, knowing damn well it was just to make the boy suffer. Robin watched gleefully, sitting at the register, resting her chin in her hand as Steve grumbled through the entire task. At one point, he was fumbling so much with all of the straps and buckles and ties that before he knew it the head of the mannequin he was attempting to gag toppled off its shoulders and knocked three other mannequins down in its wake. All Steve could do in response was throw the ball gag to the side as he stormed off, yelling back "Tell that asshole I took my 15! I'll deal with the bondage when I get back!" 
As he marches off in anger, Murray does in fact slide over and lean down next to Robin. "How's Casanova doing? BDSM not his thing, I see?" He chuckles. Robin cocks a sideways grin at him shaking her head. "He doesn't even know what his thing is, Murray. He's just a lost little puppy."
"What about you, Red. You doing good?"
"Yeah, yeah I am. I think he's stressed because he's not really finding his thing. He's used to things coming easy for him and they're just… not here."
"What does Mr Hometown Heroes' emotional journey have to do with how you're doing, huh?"
"A lot, actually. He's absolutely a bumbling fucking idiot, but he is the kindest person I've ever known. He has a weird way of showing it, but that's because his parents are Grade A assholes. He's been more supportive to me than anyone on this planet and I am trying so hard to help him but I don't know how." 
"Well, Red, this is a journey of lifelong self-discovery. Ya gotta learn to love thyself before you can love another. That goes for both of you, ya know?" and with that, he pushes off the glass countertop and saunters back to his office while humming an indistinguishable tune. 
When Steve returns from his break Robin recognizes the look on his face. It's the one that comes back ready with his head in the game after an excruciatingly awkward pep talk he gave himself - out loud. If anything, all those years of organized sports at least gave him a method to get himself back on track. 
That's why it was so abysmal to watch as he confidently tried to help a young customer, flowing brunette hair curled and brushed out into bouncy ringlets, asking in a tiny voice behind batting eyes to be pointed in the direction of the Ben Wa. 
"Oh yeah, I got you covered on this! Haven't been here long and I never heard of those before our manager got one for us and just the other day I stopped in at this place that looked interesting… "
The customer's eyes narrow, not sure where Steve is going with this conversation just as Murray joins in next to Robin to watch the drama unfold. He brought popcorn this time and was audibly chomping on it with an open mouth behind a gaping smile. "I gotta see where he's going with this." Tilting the bag towards Robin in an offering as they watch. 
"Yeah, so if you just go down the block a few more streets you'll see a place on the corner. It actually says Ben Wa on the window, so you will definitely see it when you get there. I was surprised at how much I liked it!" Steve says to the miffed young lady as she is heading for the door. "Have a great day! Enjoy!" Steve yells after her.
"What the hell man! Where'd you send the good paying customer!" Murray outstretched his arm towards the door before reaching into his bag to throw a kernel of popcorn right square into Steve's forehead. 
"What the fuck, Murray. She wanted to know where to get a fuckin sandwich. Last time I checked we don't sell sandwiches!" He yells as he spins his outstretched arms from left to right, showing off the wares inside the shop. 
"A sandwich? You fuckin' small town nincompoop, no! Ben Wa. Ben Wa balls. She wanted to put 'em up her coochie you idiot!"
Beet red from holding back, Robin finally lets out a cackle that fills the entire store. "Oh my God, someone get me a white board! You gotta be shitting me. This is better than watching him sink at Scoops, hands down."
"Wa-what are you talking about? Ben Wa - like the sandwich from that Korean place? You got it for us for lunch three days ago!"
"Oh for the love of God. You're pretty but you're dumb. BAHN MI. Say it with me BAAHHHN MEEEE" he overemphasized.
"I-i… well.. what… what the fuck man! I don't know!" 
Meanwhile, Robin is on the floor with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. 
After Robin gets her shit together and Steve returns to his normal shade of sun kissed peach, ever the educator, Murray fills the pair in on what the customer was actually looking for. Pulling them over to a display case in the rear, a menagerie of colorful metallic, glass and silicone balls are laid out for viewing. All the sizes as big as or smaller than an egg, Murray explains both their practical use as well as how they can be used for pleasure. 
"See some ladies come looking for these after they have a baby, nothing to do with getting off… for now at least … everything to do with tightening things back up again. Just a run of the mill afternoon at the vaginal gym shesh." Steve grimaces as the analogy but nods in understanding. "Girls …or guys - might use them to stretch themselves out a bit and train their holes." Robin looks on, fully engaged and taking all the information in earnest. "They have little weights inside though, so if you're wearing them for a while or they're jostling around there's a whole lotta movement in there if you know what I mean. A few tugs on those strings and you got yourself a party." 
The rest of the day goes off without a hitch, but gnawing at the back of Robin's mind are a bright red pair of Ben Wa balls from the display case, round and smooth and silicone, shaped like two cherries on a lime green stem. She's never owned a toy before, and she's feeling kind of intrigued, so while Steve is in the employee room gathering his things and clocking out, Robin seizes the opportunity to pull the toy from the case and ring it up quickly. She rings up the amount, and hastily keys in her employee discount before slipping them into her satchel just before Steve returns to the floor. 
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Robin has increasingly spent her free time idling around town and making her own discoveries. She finds herself often at a community park enjoying some local outdoor music that pops up regularly on the weekends and has stumbled upon a vintage bookshop a few doors down from the coffee place that she has made a comfortable home in their reading nook a few days a week while also making fast friends with the laid back cashier there on the weekends. 
Meanwhile Steve has failed at any attempt to casually find something he likes to do on his own and, as evident today at work, there's something that's got him stressed and Robin thinks this is it. He tried to join her at the community park, but he has yet to get into any of the music they're playing and he joined her once at the bookstore when she excitedly wanted to share her big find with her friend, but he just didn't get the hype after sitting there thumbing through a book he had no interest in actually reading. The apartment doesn't have any cable, and there's only so much coffee shop and Tamagotchi a guy pushing 30 can handle. Needless to say, city life isn't coming as naturally for Steve as it is for Robin and that is throwing him for an absolute loop. 
After a long talk on the fire escape over a cigarette, Robin actually had some wise insight into Steve's problem. "Dude, it's because you don't have any hobbies! Tell me one thing you've ever done because you chose to do it?"
"Robs, I played sports for years! Of course I have hobbies!" 
"No. That's not what I mean. Who signed you up for those? Who made sure you made the varsity team your first year? Who told you to run laps? Do you still play them now? Just cause you convinced yourself you liked it, doesn't mean you actually did."
And that resonated with Steve. He thought about why he actually liked all the baseball, all the nights on the basketball court and all the swim meets - it wasn't because he actually liked the sports, he liked how it made him feel to win. For his dad to give a shit every once in a while. For his teammates to need him. So Steve stayed up late that night, gazing at the stars on that fire escape and thinking long and hard about how he has spent his time - team sports that his dad got him into that eventually made himself feel useful, dialing up radio stations that played music he heard at other people's parties and cassette tapes of other people's favorite songs in his glove compartment, cooking meals that he has to or else he wouldn't be fed. 
The only damn thing he ever chose to do himself was watch out for those godforsaken kids back home and even through all his griping about them, it was always worth it. But driving a bunch of preteens around doesn't constitute an interest. "Fuck man, I don't even know myself." He muses into the late night sky, taking one last long drag before closing the window behind himself and idling off to bed. 
The next day, the two had a late start at The Hideout, and Robin threw her satchel over her shoulder while yelling out to Steve "Dingus, I'm going out to the bookshop for a bit. Need anything while I'm out?" 
"Nah Robs, I'm good."
"Kay - don't miss me while I'm out and you're home sulking!" She pokes, and the door clicks shut behind her leaving him in the quiet. Steve reaches for the radio and as he dials the station over to filter out the static and he's immediately back to thinking about last night. Why am I even putting on this station? I don't even think I like these songs, do I? He thinks to himself. So Steve sets out that morning to try and figure something out about himself. 
Inspired by the records displayed every week at the coffee shop, Steve finds himself fingering through bins of Vinyls at a record shop he found as he walked about the neighborhood. "Anything we can help you with, man?" the employee asks as he approaches. 
" Uh yeah. Actually I think…I mean, I think I want to get some records."
" Oh bud, happy to help! What are you into and what kind of player do you have?"
Steve stares at the man, stubble on his jawline, in a fitted yellow Queen T Shirt that looks worn and soft coupled with his ripped denim. A man that looks like he knows what he likes. Steve's stare is blank and he's absolutely at a loss. "I'm sorry, I have no idea. I should go."
"My brother, music is for everyone. Let me hook you up and we'll figure it out. No need to stress."
The man spends the next hour showing Steve how to use a basic model record player. They try out a few different vinyls to see what he might like. After a while, the pair have a stack piled up next to the record player - Queen, Fleetwood Mac, Tears for Fears, Red Hot Chili Peppers and a few others littered with popular music and rock artists he didn't really know by name before - and Steve is checking out. 
As he's getting ready to hand over a stack of cash to the man that helped him discover what kind of music he likes, they're interrupted by a deep hum, "Now that's a nice stack you got there." Steve turns around and is a little taken aback by what he sees. It's you…and you're standing there all casual and comfortable, looking very at ease in the record shop. "Hey Brian. What's up?" You nod in the kind man's direction.
"Hey hot stuff, I got what you came for back here. Just let me finish up with this guy and I'll get you taken care of. "
"Hi" Steve waves in your direction. "I'm sorry." No one quite sure what he's actually apologizing for in the least.
"No need to be sorry, you were here first. I just came to pick up the new Pearl Jam record and I am in absolutely no rush."
"Pearl Jam?" Steve questions. 
"Yeah man. Eddie Vedder? You might actually like it, all things considered." The man named Brian motions to the eclectic stack Steve has accumulated during his visit. 
Looking back at you standing there, not impatiently, just smiling brighter than the sun, he mutters "Yeah cool. Yeah I mean, if you have another can I add that? I'll give it a try."
And as Steve loads up his wares in his arms and turns to leave, your charismatic smile finds him one last time, " I hope you like it… ." You draw out waiting for him to fill in the blank. 
"Steve." He finishes for you.
You nod, "I hope you like it, Steve"
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The next night at the apartment, Robin is gearing up for her date and she is absolutely in her head about it. She has asked Steve one hundred times today if he's sure this is a date. "But Stevie's she .. I really think she might just want to hang out and be friends." 
"Robin, I swear to Christ if you don't just STOP this." Steve sucks in a clipped breath before continuing on. "It's a date. I'm one hundred percent sure this girl asked you on a date and you're going. Relax, please! Fuck, you're stressing me out and I have nothing to do with any of this!" Steve shouts for the last time tonight, leaving Robin in the bathroom doorway, staring at herself in the mirror trying to make herself presentable.
Through the damp hair falling into her vision and the steam still speckling on the mirror after her shower, the girl is trying desperately to hype herself up and get ready to spend time with Alex. But Robin is not a confident creature. She's starting to feel herself crawl back inside the cave forged deep in her personality and carved into the bedrock of Hawkins, Indiana. "I gotta fuckin' snap out of this." She says to her reflection, splashing water on her face and retreating back to her bedroom. 
She hears the new and welcome sound of vinyl scratching from Steve's bedroom, before the reverberation of Fleetwood Mac's The Chain blares loudly through the walls. She sighs, sitting there still wrapped in her towel from after her shower, mind wandering to Alex and her tall, thin frame. Still not sure how a girl like that was referring to her as the hot one, Robin's thoughts drift to the deep black of the woman's mascara, fanning her eyelashes out and emphasizing her deep green eyes. She thinks about how she was too much of a spaz to appreciate the curve of her cupid's bow and she's still not sure if she was imagining the softness of the swell of her hips or not. 
Mixed up in thought, Robin's forearms graze the front of her towel and the rough material scratches at her exposed nipples underneath. She lets out a wispy gasp, not realizing just how turned on she was until that second. Her mind is racing. She looks at the clock and sees she has 20 minutes until she needs to head downstairs to the shop to meet Alex. Immediately she eyes her bedside table, knowing those deep red, cherry Ben Wa balls are sitting just inside. She thinks about what Murray has been saying and all of his preaching about “loving thyself before you can love another, Red!" and with one last racing thought of the woman who actually wants to take her on a date… out in public, she's clamoring for the drawer. 
She has never been more grateful that Steve has picked up a new interest, and that it was a loud one, because as she lets the towel draping her body loosen while she's leaning back into her soft cotton pillowcases she lets out a soft whimper before she's even touched herself once. Robin tentatively lets her soft hands and glossy nails trace the outline of her slit, delicately rubbing and pressing on where she needs it most and experimentally flicking the hood of her clit. After considering things one last time, she purses her eyes closed tight and holds her breath as she guides one of the cherry balls inside her opening. 
The gasp that leaves her throat this time isn't soft and quiet and she finds herself gyrating and writhing as she rubs and tugs at the cherry stems attached to her toy. The weights inside are rolling and undulating just like Murray said they would, sending vibrations up and back down her body. Robin feels filthy, thinking about Alex as she uses her free hand to rub at her clit while still pressing in and tugging at the ball with her other, but not filthy enough to deny how much she is enjoying this game she is playing with herself. 
Robin's eyes are rolled back in her head as her orgasm rushes over her, the weights of the ball continuing to move and rattle inside coax her through her comedown. Thighs shaking and breath stuttering, she lets out a deep sigh "Holy fuckin' shit. I love my job." 
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Fumbling and running late after her little self-love session, Robin bounds through the doors of the coffee shop a little dramatically. As part of her grand entrance, she knocks her hip into the chair of the two-top situated right inside the entryway and doubles over at the pain. "Shit." She means to whisper, but instead says at a volume loud enough to reach the back of the shop, and if the entrance alone didn't alert Alex to her arrival, she certainly would have heard that.  
The barista greets Robin cheerfully by name just as Alex walks up to greet her with her hand outstretched, coffee cup there as an offering to break the ice. "I thought you might need a pick me up after work. She hooked me up with your usual order, so… "
Robin feels her freckles burn at the gesture, like they do after a day at the lake in the sun. She catches Alex's eyes scanning her body and she feels her chest flush, no doubt accentuated by the emerald green satin tank that's cut a bit lower than she usually ventures. The deep color making her hair, her eyes and her fair skin pop, covered by a cropped denim jacket DIY frayed at the edges has definitely caught her date's eye. 
"I wanted to pop into this Gallery I really love, if you don't mind indulging my creative side tonight? It's a great spot and… there's a graphic artist showing there now I just gotta check out before it's gone. It's this amazing social commentary on pregnancy as a lesbian. Like a totally butch lesbian decides to get pregnant with her partner, so what now? It's just… I gotta see it. The diversity at this place is phenomenal."
Robin's wide eyes are not white in astonishment this time, but instead they're with pure intrigue and reverence. Knowing that not only are there people like her in this city, but enough people that feel the same or respect it enough to go to an art gallery to check out doodles about a pregnant butch lesbian and it's not the butt of a homophobic joke is… enthralling to her. She nods vehemently "Hell yeah, that sounds…  really amazing. I mean… I'm not used to that kind of transparency, so, yeah. Let's do it."
And as they turn to leave the shop, coffee and tea in respective hands, Robin feels the tickle of a finger brushing her open palm. Barely registering what is happening, she finds herself in a brief yet unnecessary panic as she feels Alex's hand settle in, intertwined with hers. She can't help but scan her surroundings for passerby oggling the two women holding hands and walking down the sidewalk, but she saw not one the whole walk down the block to the train platform. The thrill of holding a pretty lady's hand out in public is sending tingles up her spine, or maybe it's the gentle, internal humming of the Ben Wa balls she opted to keep inside for the evening, but Robin could definitely get used to this. She smirks at herself as they ascend the steps towards the incoming train and asks curiously,"So tell me, what's this artist's name?
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Meanwhile, Robin just missed Steve on the same platform not 10 minutes earlier. Shortly after Robin finally headed out, Steve found himself standing in the kitchen staring at a barren refrigerator - nothing more than a carton of milk, some OJ and a row of eggs left in there for him to choose from. He tries not to be irritated at his current situation, but he can't help the groan he lets out as he reaches for the phone, readying himself to order way too much pizza for one lonely guy on his couch late at night. 
Before he finishes dialing he shakes his head, thinking about how he doesn't have to keep himself cooped up here. He has done so much on his own, but all of that was such a… necessity. Is it really that crazy to go off and do something alone without it being totally pitiful? "I mean, Robin goes places by herself all the time." He muses to himself. 
So that's how he found himself hopping off the train downtown and wandering into the first restaurant that looked reasonable and …  good. Not just food but something he might actually enjoy tasting. It's a quaint Italian place. Authentic, by the looks of it. Walls lined with corked bottles of olive oil and limoncello, twinkle lights strewn over the white lattice work ceiling, the unmistakable smell of carbohydrates and garlic. 
This is yet another something he hasn’t ever done before. Not just a quick bite or a fast food, but instead going out to a proper restaurant and sitting down for a real meal. Solo. Alone. Alone but NOT lonely, he thinks. In the past 24 hours since Robin pointed out that he never does anything for himself that he enjoys, he has done a lot of introspection and has made it a point to seek out new experiences hoping something will stick. Sitting at the cozy little restaurant place downtown adorned with faux plants, and filled with tables of other guests, he finds himself so grateful to have Robin’s perspective and support. So instead of worrying about how he's not sharing the table with a date, or Robin or anyone else for that matter, he's toasting to her, in absentia.  
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On the other side of town, Robin and Alex find themselves tucked into a booth at a dimly lit, definitely more trendy than she’s ever experienced before in her life, kind of bar. Alex has the table filled with an assortment of bites to eat and has ordered up all of the bartender's signature drinks on a mission to get Robin to broaden her horizons and shake that small town dust off of her coattails. “Ok, so, we have to find something here that you’re into. You can’t just tell me warm beer or straight shots are your drinks of choice - every city girl’s gotta have their go-to cocktail.” 
Robin first confidently grabs at the Manhattan from the selections laid out in front of hrr, recognizing the deep amber of the liquid and the familiar smell of whiskey that reminds her of Steve. It is quickly after she brings it to her lips that she sputters it back out, spraying the cocktail over her hand and most likely, her date. Alex says nothing about it, eyeing the ruby red blush on Robin’s cheeks and chest, but she stifles a small laugh before she says “Got it. No whiskey cocktails. Check. Here, here…cleanse your palate.” She says, handing her a small plate filled with creamy green, roasted artichokes splayed out like a lotus flower. “They’re the best in the city. Stuffed artichokes - ya know? They’re my favorite. Doesn’t hurt that they’re an aphrodisiac, huh?”
And if Robin hadn’t already spit out that whiskey drink, she definitely would have at that. So bold. So brazen. Dumbfounded that even at how blatant Alex has been with her flirting all night, it didn’t prepare her for that comment and the implications it held behind her eyes. And when Robin didn’t move to immediately grab a bite, Alex instead responded by picking up a delicate stuffed petal and holding it out to Robin’s pillowy lips, urging her to open up. She tentatively parted those lips and took a bite, wide-eyed at the flavor and simultaneously at the way Alex’s eyes remained locked on hers. 
Before the end of the date, Robin had successfully spilled a cup of water, knocked over the salt shaker and tried sips of 6 different cocktails before she settled in with a bright orange and red drink in a highball glass, lips wrapped around the straw and playing with the stem of the cherry hanging over the side of her glass. “This one is definitely a winner.” She grins, as she turns to look at Alex, excited to have found something that she likes while simultaneously excited that she finds she doesn’t really care that she did no less than 10 embarrassing things on this date anymore. She doesn’t feel embarrassed in the least and that is still a pretty new feeling for her.
“Why am I not surprised? I should have known.” Alex laughs out.
Robin shrugs, a questioning look in her eye as she sucks down the last of the drink, rattling the ice as the straw drains the cup of the last of it, loud enough to turn a head in the booth next to theirs when she forgets she’s someplace a certain level of chic that Hawkins must repel just by its sheer podunk nature.
Alex leans in close, right next to Robin’s ear to whisper, but makes sure she pulls back just as quickly to watch the flush spread over her freckled face like she knew it would “I should have known you’d like Sex on the Beach.” Sealed with a wink. 
And with that, the ice wasn’t the only thing rattling anymore, as Robin is keenly reminded as she feels the shudder travel up and down her spine that she chose to keep those Ben Wa balls.
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"And she said what to you? Oh yeah, your date wants to get in your pants. For SURE.” Steve said as the cool edge of a frosted mug hit his tongue. It was a long day at The Hideout and they barely had time to shoot the shit between odd jobs and a colorful group of customers, and Robin got in so late last night that he didn’t even get to grill her about her date when she rolled in. Disregard the fact that Steve was tucked soundly in his bed after a nice warm belly full of pasta and red wines (who knew, he liked red wine? He sure didn’t). After such a long day, and the bet hanging in the air, the pair stumbled upon a local dive bar on their walk home and that’s where they find themselves now - unwinding and finding themselves totally relaxed in the warm, dimly lit and unceremonious Benny’s Taproom.
“God, Steve, I don’t want to talk about it!”
“What do you mean, you don’t want to talk about it? You owe me three drinks and you’ve gotta spill your guts, Robbie.” 
“Ahhh, I don’t want to hear about the bet, Steve! I’ve been a little distracted. My keychain has been the least of my worries, genius.”
“Excuses, excuses.” he winks, the beer tasting even better knowing it was his prize for caring for his tamagotchi much better than his friends, just as he suspected. Robin cycled through three whole pets so far, while Steve’s has grown into a thriving, young thing and he gloats about it every moment he can. “Now, spill it. I need to know the details about your date, Robin. Stop avoiding this.”
As they sit there arguing over digital pets and sharing (or avoiding) stories of their night prior, a gravely ahem comes from over the bar as the gruff, stone faced and bearded man behind it places his hands wide on the counter in front of the two friends. “If you’re in my bar, drinking my drinks, then you gotta share, missy. This place is boring lately, and you guys are fresh meat, so please…entertain us with your stories. I gotta live for something around here.” he sternly says to the two, before he smiles wide and says “If you’re here, you’re family, so listen to your friend and give us the scoop, for God sakes!” 
Robin tells them about her first date - about all of the coy flirting, about all of the embarrassing things that didn’t feel so terribly embarrassing in front of her date, about all of the appetizers and cocktail tastings, about the menu items spread out on their table with double entendres and that Alex kept ordering things she kept referring to as Aphrodisiacs “I swear I thought aphrodisiac was another word for Oysters, and then I thought that it meant something sexual just because … oysters. They’re like…ya know.” as she blinks her eyes downwards to her lap.
“Oh honey, he is into you.” Jim breathes out as he adjusts to lean back against the sink with his arms crossed.
Maybe it was Robin’s tight-lipped smile in response to that, or maybe it was how Steve gargled his last sip of beer right back into the mug before setting it down on the ratty old, stained coaster on the bar, but Jim’s eyes flitted between the pair looking for the information he must certainly be missing. 
“Ah!” He claps his hands together as he takes Steve’s mug, swirls it around eyeing the backwash, throws it in the sink and fetches another one. He immediately moves over to the tap to refill it while noting “Alex…. He’s a she…isn’t she?” 
Jim leans over the bar, braced on his elbows and spends the next twenty minutes telling her that she's just had a taste of what the city has to offer. .. a taste of dating. A taste of Alex. And if she's feeling like that - if one taste is making her feel so so good, it's worth embracing it and diving right in.
TAGLIST: @livsters @katie-tibo @johnricharddeacy @angywritesstuff @k-k0129 @tisthedamnseason69 @middle-of-the-earth @thebrazilianatheist  @mochminnie @micheledawn1975 @falling-throughthe-hourglass @rafaaoli @ash5monster01 @gabessock @onyxslayss
The artist referenced in this Chapter is A.K. Summers who did, in fact host an exhibit at a Chicago Gallery in 1993. See her work Pregnant Butch here
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thegifstories · 1 year
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|Eyes for You|
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[Author’s Note: This is a prompt from @prettyisasprettydoes1306 ✨]
[Chas]
Checking myself out in the mirror, I smile at what I see. It’s Friday and in about five minutes Erik will be picking me up for our first date. He wants to do dinner at Catch, a popular restaurant that the socialites around here love, and then take me to a rooftop bar that is honestly more my speed. I’m looking forward to having the night to pick his brain some more. I chose a draped nude criss cross dress that fits my body like a glove paired with metallic gold Tom Ford lock heels that go with my small gold Telfar. My hair is in a fresh wash and go that has my jet black coils looking shiny, and my make up is brown themed, giving me a 90’s vibe. Right as I turn away from my reflection my phone chimes with a text. 
Outside love.
I smile at the way he addresses me. Ever since I started using his number at his insistence, he always called me by some nickname. Each one made the butterflies in my stomach go off every time. Grabbing my purse from my dresser, I locked up and headed to the elevator. Within seconds, I spotted him leaning against the passenger side of his truck. His smile grows as I approach him, eyes drinking me in from head to toe. I do the same, eyeing the white Prada t-shirt underneath the denim jacket he wore. On his chest layers of gold chains that match the gold bracelet on his wrist.
“You look gorgeous Chas,” he says in my ear as he’s pulled me into a hug.
“Thank you, you look good too,” I say, returning the compliment as he steps back so that he can help me into his truck.
Within seconds, he’s pulling off and we fall into idle conversation that alternates between rapping along to his playlist. He has a good vibe going and I feel more myself than I have since I moved out to the west coast. When we approach the restaurant, he helps me out and hands the valet his keys. We’re right on time for the reservation he’s made so it’s not long before we’re seated in the booth towards the back. Once we place our drink and food orders, we’re able to strike up a meaningful conversation.
“What made you choose nursing for a career?” he asks.
“The stability mostly but I also like helping others. I like being able to calm someone down who’s scared and try to be a bright spot in their day,” I reply.
“That’s dope, you definitely were the bright spot in mine that day I came in,” he said, causing me to blush.
“Smooth talking ass,” I said, smiling and shaking my head.
“Sue me, I like making you smile and I plan to for the rest of the night. That going to be a problem Nurse St. Thomas?” he asks, dimples in his cheeks poking out due to his grin.
“Now you address me properly,” I said, causing us both to laugh. “But to answer your question, no Mr. Stevens it is not.”
“Good. Now, let’s talk about that bullshit ass show you made me watch last night,” he said, causing me to gasp in play offense.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about because The Chrisley’s are hilarious,” I replied, talking about my favorite mindless reality show.
“They are criminals last time I checked,” he said, referring to the fact the show's namesake couple had been arrested and convicted of multiple counts of fraud.
“Funny criminals who will be missed on my screen at least,” I chuckled.
“Yeah your show privileges are now revoked,” he says, causing me to pout. “I’m choosing the next one.”
“Fine but it better be interesting or you risk me falling asleep on it and you. I be trying hard to stay up for you as is,” I said.
Working doubles at least twice a week had my sleep schedule in shortage. Our night calls this week while a bright spot were not something I didn’t think I could maintain. Though I tried because he made the effort to stay up so that he could at least speak and see me once a day.
“I know love, I appreciate it too because I look forward to it like a kid waiting for Christmas,” he said, making me smile.
Our waitress comes back to deliver our drinks, a spicy margarita for me and whiskey straight for him before fluttering off to help her other tables.
“I do too,” I admit, taking a sip of my drink. “You might be growing on me a smidge.”
“Only a smidge huh?”
Two women approach our table before I can respond back to him. At first glance I thought it was our waitress again but when her friend approached I looked at the woman for real. One was Amazon-like in stature with creamy toffee skin, high cheekbones, and braids that touched the tip of her ass. The other is the complete opposite but still beautiful with her short stature, slim thick frame and reddish brown skin. The former wore a smirk as she locked eyes onto Erik.
“Funny running into you here Erik. Where have you been?” she practically purrs which lets me know her agenda immediately.
“Busy and I’m on a date which you are interrupting to be petty Jessica,” he replies, boredom laced in his tone as his eyes briefly shoot her way before locking on mine, making clear who is attention really is on.
“Oh, she’s not really your type,” Jessica says, which causes me to laugh out loud. “What’s funny?”
“You dear. You may be ugly inside but outside you can definitely pull any man you want but you would rather stand here and be embarrassed by the one that doesn’t want you. It’s hilarious and sad,” I say.
“Oop,” her friend says, which earns her an evil side eye.
“Please sweetie-
“That’s enough. Y’all can go now. Our food is headed this way,” Erik says, shutting down her snarky reply. 
He’s right as our waitress is headed our way with another server helping carry our food. Jessica and her flunky leave in a huff. I wait until the food is set on the table before crossing my arms and looking at him.
“Is this what dating you will look like? If so, I’m going to have to pass,” I said.
[Erik]
Inwardly, I groan. I literally could curse Jessica out for the childish shit she just pulled that served as yet another reminder why I’ll never fuck with her again. Could never be a grown woman about her shit. I eye the pissed beauty across from me and know I have to do damage control immediately.
“No, Jessica was someone who I used to sleep with casually and I want to stress that because there was nothing else going on between us. Towards the end of our little arrangement she wanted more and I didn’t, which turned her into a damn lunatic who does shit like this. My last real relationship was five years ago,” I explain. 
“And she’s the only sleep buddy you had? Is that what you want from me?” she asks, brows raised in growing annoyance.
“No and no. Look I was a single man, I fucked around but I was always responsible and respectful in my situations. I can’t change my past but I want you in my future. You are the first woman who’s made me want more in a long ass time,” I said, being honest.
She sees the sincerity in my gaze, as hers softens and her arms uncross from her chest. I take it as a good sign when she picks up my fork.
“There’s something you should know if you’re serious about pursuing me. My trust in men right now is shallow at best due to my ex cheating on me with my cousin which resulted in them starting a family together. I moved out here all the way from New York because my family basically told me to get over it,” she said, pushing a few inky curls behind her ear.
“Damn that’s fucked up. I’m sorry you had to go through that Chas for real,” I said, tempted to look up who the bum was to pay him a visit.
“Beyond and I’ve managed to heal but I promised myself my next relationship would be my last. I know we’re still early in the dating stage but that’s my mindset. If that is not something you want here is your exit,” she said, making sure to look me in the eyes the entire time she spoke.
Reaching across the table I grabbed her hand, “That’s all I want and more. Most importantly, I don’t mind going at whatever pace you want to show you that.”
“Okay, we’ll see,” she said, squeezing my hand back.
For the rest of the night, our date continues to go like it was before the interruption: perfectly. We fall into conversation easily and can move from topic to topic without missing a beat. I can tell she still has her guard up with me a bit but she’s honest about it. She’s also honest about the fact that she’s feeling me as much as I’m feeling her when I walk her into her building lobby. My hands find her hips and bring her flush against me as she wraps her arms around my shoulders. Biting down on her lip, she meets my eyes.
“You can’t keep looking at me like this Chas,” I said, as my fingers drew circles on her lower back.
“Like what?” she asks with a smirk on her lips, tipping her head upwards and looking at me through curled lashes.
“Like you want me to do this,” I said, closing the space between us, pressing my lips against hers. She sighs in content like this is the moment she has been waiting for all night as I tease her with pecks. When I slip my tongue between the seam of her mouth a soft moan greets me. Our hold on each other gets tighter and before I go back on my word in this lobby, I ease out of our kiss with a few more to her bottom lip. “Time for you to head up love or else I’m liable to get beside myself.”
She bites down on her now kiss swollen lips as she nods her head. “I should huh?”
“Yes love, you should,” I said, kissing her lips. “Because the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you can wake up and see me again.”
“Is that a promise?” she whispers, lips hitting mine.
“Most definitely.”
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just-my-type-x · 2 years
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Masterlist
✨smut ; 🌺fluff; 🥶angst; 💌 normal/playful
Colby Brock
Constructive Arguments ✨🥶
A Scare At The Bellaire ✨🥶
A Hot Mess ✨🌺
The Other Way Around 🌺🥶
Chill Day Headcanon 🌺
Playtime Headcanon ✨
Black Swan Inn 🌺
You're fucking with my head 🥶
Hot Piece ✨🥶-ish
Say My Name Like It's Holy ✨🥶
Thinking About You Playlist Headcanon 🌺
Not So Sneaky Afterall 💌
Call Me By My Name ✨
"Colby, i swear to God..." 💌✨-ish
Not So Shy 🌺💌
Everything I Didn't Say 🌺
Evil Lurks Here 🌺
If You Weren't Here 🌺🥶-ish
Will You Marry Me? Headcanon 🌺
Another Pretty Lie 🥶
Make Up Your Mind 🌺💌
Mizpah Hotel 💌✨-ish
Unholy ✨🥶
Bitch, U Better Be Joking 🥶
Detective Brock 🥶
Spoiled Surprise 💌🌺
Ghostly Encounter 💌🌺
The Aftermath (Part 2 for Hot Piece) ✨
Home Alone 💌🌺
The Lighthouse 🥶🌺
Old Washoe Club 🌺
Late Night In 💌🌺
Hate The Game 🥶✨
Brad Simpson
Mob The Vamps 🥶
Love Again pt 1 🌺🥶, pt 2 ✨🥶, pt 3 🌺✨
Lover Of Mine 🌺🥶✨
Drive Me Insane ✨
Don't Talk Nonsense, Darling ✨
Hush ✨
Jealousy Headcanon 💌
Protective Headcanon 💌
Naughtiness Headcanon ✨
Boyfriend Headcanon 💌
Making You Feel Better Headcanon 🌺💌
Best Of Both Worlds Headcanon ✨💌
Forever Yours ✨🌺
Birthday King✨
Countryside Escapade ✨
Just My Type/Dating a Brazilian Headcanon 💌🌺
Nice To Meet Ya 💌🌺
A Team Headcanon 💌🌺
Hell Week Headcanon 💌🌺
Sleeping with Brad Headcanon 💌🌺
My Day One 🥶🌺
Vampire Headcanon 🥶🌺💌
Playful Fingers Headcanon ✨
Call Time ✨
It Feels Too Good 🌺💌✨-ish
Tying You Up Headcanon ✨
Showstopper 🥶
You're A Vibe (Part 2 for Showstopper)🥶✨
Deadline For Love 💌
"Be a good girl" (Part 2 for DFL) ✨
Sweet Dreams 🌺✨-ish
Flirtationship ✨
"Eyes Up Here" 🥶✨
"I'd Get On My Knees For You" 🥶✨
Friendly Much 🥶✨
Smoke and Fire 🥶
Untouchable 🥶
New Us 🌺💌
Talk is Cheap 🌺💌
Another Me🌺💌
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson ✨
Night Outs and Nightclubs 🥶✨-ish
Little White Dress 🥶✨-ish
Body On Me ✨
Tell Me How You Really Feel 🥶
Glass Half Full 🥶
Honey, You Got All Of Me ✨
Most Feels Aren't Temporary 🌺✨
Tit For Tat 🥶✨
If Brad Simpson was ur boyfriend 🌺
Curly Heads and Caffè Lattes ✨
Tristan Evans
Naked Confessions ✨
Dylan O'brien & characters
From enemies to lovers 🥶✨
Misunderstood Smiles 🥶✨
Love Yourself 🌺
An unusual context // Stiles Stilinski 🥶✨
Things Take Time // Mitch Rapp ✨
Victorian Habits 🌺💌
Cody Christian & characters
Fixing You // Asher Adams 🌺
Not So Evil After All // Theo Raeken 🥶🌺
"Champagne" // Asher Adams 🌺✨
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Text
a little less than a happy high
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Series Masterlist | Series Playlist
Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC
Word Count: 8.6k
Rating: E MDNI 18+
Warnings: Please check warnings on masterlist. There are a lot and they are serious. Please remember that we are all 100% responsible for the media we consume. I have appropriately and extensively tagged this work.
Author's Notes: this part picks up right where the last one left off. Just to reiterate: much of the events that take place are straight from my own personal experiences. I can't afford therapy. Please keep that in mind and be kind and mindful in your responses
Banners and dividers courtesy of @saradika and @cafekitsune
Part 1, Part 3
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You don’t get out of bed for anything but to use the bathroom and get some water to swallow down more pills. With the swing of a fist, your entire life has crumbled into dust. After a week your mom comes into your room and forces you to get up and take a shower. As much as you may want her to, she is not content to let you sit in that room and rot. Frankie calls every night, asking questions like what you had for dinner and what you did that day. He’s doing the same thing she is, in his own way. He’s making sure that you take care of yourself without coming right out and saying it, without making you feel bad for not doing it. Giving you the permission you need to let yourself fall apart. He knows that even though he can’t be there to put you back together that she will, as long as you let her. Your sick time runs out at your job because you can't bring yourself to go back there. That’s where you met him. Once your ribs are healed you find a new job in an office nearby. Your coworkers are kind and the data entry work is mindless enough that you can take your brain out and stick it in a drawer for eight hours, only pulling it out and plopping it back in your head when you leave for the day. Exactly what you need. No time to think about your ex-husband in jail. No time to think about your baby. No time to think about Frankie. 
It’s been six months since he left for Pennsylvania. He hasn't put any pressure on you to join him, he knows it won’t do any good. You just work and go home. Hang out with your siblings and your mom. You eventually move out to your own apartment close to your mom’s house. You eat lunch alone at work, usually with your nose in a book. 
One afternoon, your reading is interrupted by Janet, a coworker around your age. “Do you want to come out with us?” She asks. Your first instinct is to say no, but you think of what Frankie would say when you tell him declined. 
“Who’s us?” You ask. You don’t want to spend your evening with the older ladies who make up the majority of the office demographic. 
“Me, Jenny, Bruce from accounting and Edgar.” Janet and Jenny work in the cubicle right behind your desk. They seem nice enough. You don’t know Bruce at all but he’s also close to your age. Edgar is the office administrator, your direct superior. You aren’t sure if that’s who you want to hang out with outside of work. You don’t want to feel pressured to be “work appropriate” on a night out. You turned twenty one a month ago with little fanfare. A few housewarming gifts from your mom and flowers from Frankie. Santi drove up from San Antonio to take you to dinner but instead you convinced him to help you put together your furniture and share a pizza and a twelve pack.
 Your mom has been gently nudging you to make some friends. After probably too long you finally agree. “Sure. That sounds good.” You give her your number and tell her to text you the details. 
Once you get home, you strip off your sensible work attire and hop into the shower. After you’ve washed the day off of you, you emerge wrapped in a towel and wander to your closet. You flick through your clothes trying to find something to fit the vibe of the bar. You settle on what could be considered a “little black dress.” Timeless, classic, perfect for almost anything. Just after your cab drops you off at the corner, a text from Janet comes through.
 “Hey! Sorry for the late notice but we’re gonna have to reschedule. I had something come up and Jenny is helping me with that! Not sure about Bruce or Edgar but I’m sure you don’t want to hang with them alone!” You sigh and consider calling for another cab immediately, but then you think, fuck it. I could use a drink. You saunter through the door and make your way to the bar straight away. You drop onto a stool and plop your clutch on the bar. 
“What’ll it be sweetheart?” The bartender asks.
 “Vodka soda with lime.” You reply without looking up.
“Get stood up?” A voice over your shoulder asks. 
“Not inter-“ you begin as you turn around. You are greeted by the smiling face of your boss. “Edgar. Sorry.” You laugh. “Don’t worry about it.” He says with a wave of his hand.
 “Can I sit?” He motions for the stool next to you.
 “Oh, please. Seems like we both got stood up.” You say. The bartender comes back with your drink.
 “Put that on my tab and I’ll have another.” Edgar says. He waves you off when you try to protest.
 “Do you wanna go sit over there?” He asks, pointing to a booth in the corner. 
“Sure.” You shrug, grabbing your drink and your purse. 
“So, I’m sorry to say I don’t know much about you.” Edgar says when you slide into the booth across from him. 
“I kind of keep to myself.” You admit. 
“Tell me something nobody else knows.” He suggests. You laugh, a real genuine laugh.
 “You’ll have to buy me a few more drinks before I do that.” You tell him. “I just might.” He says, with a twinkle in his eye. And he does. Four, or maybe five drinks later, you find yourself spilling your guts to him. You tell him everything about Frankie, about Joey, even your shitty childhood. He tells you about his time in the army and all the places he’s lived and traveled to. He’s good company, surprisingly funny, too. You take the time to actually assess his appearance since he is no longer a background character in your life. He’s a little taller than you, with a medium build. There isn’t really anything remarkable about him, looks-wise. He has short, dark brown hair that he wears slicked back, dark brown eyes that sparkle with little flecks of gold. His eyebrows are thick and trimmed into a nice shape, same as his facial hair. But his most notable feature is his smile. His whole face transforms when you say something funny. His eyes light up and the apples of his cheeks become more prominent. And he wears the hell out of the jeans and polo shirt he changed into after work. 
He’s older than you, thirty-five to your twenty-one, and you don’t really have a lot in common. But you find that you enjoy his company anyways. You barely notice that  you’ve had five drinks until you stand to go to the restroom and wobble on your feet a little. “Do you have a ride home?” Edgar asks. You shake your head.
 “I took a cab here. I’ll just grab one home.” You tell him.
 “I’ll give you a ride.” He offers. When you begin to protest he stops you. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving if I didn't know you were going to get home safe.” He tells you. You think about it for a moment and relent.
 “Okay. Thank you.” He goes to the bar to settle the tab and you go to the bathroom. While you’re in there you take a moment to freshen up your makeup and hair. He gives you another one of those beaming smiles and you feel butterflies in your belly when his warm palm finds the small of your back as he guides you out of the bar. He opens the passenger door to his black Chrysler 300 and you sink into the soft leather. He closes the door softly and walks around to the driver’s side. The car smells like his cologne. A little strong for your taste but a good scent. “Where do you live?” He asks once he slides into his seat. You give him your address and he nods, he knows the place. You direct him to your building and instead of pulling up to the curb, he turns into a parking spot. 
“You could have just let me out in front of the building.” You say. He chuckles quietly.
 “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk you to the door? I told you I want to make sure you get home safe.” 
You roll your eyes. “I think my chances of getting serial-killed three steps from my door are pretty low.” You laugh. He shakes his head and unbuckles his seatbelt. You follow suit and lead him towards your apartment. He follows you up the stairs and suddenly you feel self conscious about the length of your dress. He can probably see your ass peeking out below the fabric. You dig in your clutch for your keys once you reach your door, “I appreciate the ride. I guess I’ll see you on Monday. Unless…do you wanna come in for a drink?” You ask and instantly wish you could take it back. The vodka has gone to your head and he’s just being nice.
 “I was hoping you’d ask.” He says with a shy smile.
“So you weren’t just being a concerned coworker?’ You tease with a smile of your own as you open the door. 
You motion towards your couch and walk into the kitchen grabbing two beers. You kick off your heels and hand Edgar a beer. You fold your legs under you and sink into the couch. You can’t help but recall the last conversation you had on this couch. Last month, when Santi finished helping you assemble your couch and you sat down for a beer and pizza break, he was quieter than usual.
 “He’s seeing someone, you know.” He said quietly, and without looking up from his slice. Your body stiffens for a moment, but you let it go with a deep exhale. 
“I didn’t know. But he can do what he wants.” Santi scoffs. “He shouldn’t just sit around and wait for me to get my shit together.” Finally he looks up from his food. He shakes his head.
 “You know you two are meant to be.” He says.
“Santi, I don’t deserve him. He doesn’t need my fucking shitshow of a life. I’m…broken.” You say quietly. He scoots over to the middle of the couch and flings arm around you. You lean your head into his shoulder and he presses a kiss to it. 
“You aren’t broken, baby. Bad shit has happened to you, but it doesn’t define you. And there is nobody in the whole world who will ever love you the way that man does.” And you know that he’s right, but you think you are too. You don’t deserve how much he loves you. And one day, he’ll realize it, too. He’ll finally see how fucked up you are, and he’ll let you go for good. 
But you push the thought out of your mind and focus on enjoying Edgar’s company. He tells you that he grew up in New York and is surprised to find out you are also a Yankees fan. You spend the next hour talking about their previous season’s World Series win. Eventually he checks his watch and stands from the couch. “It's getting late. I should get going. Let you get some rest.”  You stand and gather the bottles from the coffee table and deposit them in the recycling bin. You walk him to the door and he pauses when his hand reaches the knob. He turns to face you. “Thanks for a nice time tonight. Maybe we could…do it again sometime.” You look into his eyes. 
“Yeah I had fun.  We can definitely do it again.” You say. He leans his face towards yours, only slightly, waiting for your reaction. You close the distance between your mouths and slot your lips between his. His teeth catch your bottom lip and he tugs gently at it. “You don't have to go.” You tell him when you part to catch your breath. He drops his hand from the doorknob and wraps both arms around your waist. His lips recapture yours and he draws you in closely. You begin to walk backwards, heading towards your room. He swerves suddenly preventing you from crashing into the wall. You laugh into each other’s mouths, unwilling to part them for even a second. You continue walking backwards until you feel the backs of your thighs hit your bed. The sudden jerk causes your already weak knees to buckle. You tumble onto the bed and the two of you are so tightly entangled that he falls on top of you. Another laugh breathed into each other’s mouths. His hands slide up your thighs under the skirt of your dress.
 “Is this ok?” He asks. You can only nod, suddenly having trouble finding your voice. It's been so long since you’ve been with a man this way. Since Joey. 
His fingers explore your body greedily and he only removes them when you pull his shirt over his head. He repeats the motion with your dress. His hungry gaze feels like a microscope, taking in every detail, every flaw , you think. The last time, months ago, that you were this exposed to a man, Joey had made sure to point out the weight you had gained with your pregnancy. The comment had stung, and had burrowed its way into your brain. You instinctively move to cover your arms but he catches both of your wrists in his hands. 
“Please don’t do that.” He says quietly. “I want to see you, all of you. You’re so fucking beautiful.” He holds both of your wrists gently above your head with one of his hands. He kisses your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. He moves down to your neck, starting at the spot just below your ear. His other hand slides around to your back. His nimble fingers expertly unhook your bra and he releases your wrists to drag the straps down your arms. He tosses your bra to the side and returns you to your previous position. His lips resume their earlier pursuit, tongue flicking out to taste as much of you as he can. The metal of his belt buckle is cold against the skin below your belly button. The heft of him presses through his jeans into your core and the fabric of your panties, damp with slick, sticks to your skin. He circles one of your nipples with his tongue, running it over the surgical steel bar that pierces through. When he closes his mouth around it, your back arches and he grinds himself deeper into your clothed core.
 “Oh fuck, that feels so fucking good.” You moan, breathlessly. He releases your wrists once more and his hands go straight to the waistband of your panties.  He hooks his thumbs in and begins to slide them down. You lift your hips and he slips the black satin down the length of your legs. 
“Get all the way onto the bed.” He orders and you comply, settling into the middle of the bed. He drops his pants and boxers in one go and steps out of them. He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and fishes out his wallet. He removes a gold wrapped condom from and drops the wallet back onto the pile of his clothes. His cock bobs gently as he shuffles on his knees further between your thighs. He rips open the condom wrapper and pulls it out. With his other hand, he strokes himself a few times and rolls the condom down his length, pinching the tip. “You ready for me, bonita?” He asks and for a moment your heart clenches at the nickname Frankie gave you. 
“Yes, please.” You whisper and he runs the tip of his dick up and down your slit, gathering your slick. He notches himself at your entrance and leans down to give you another kiss. 
“Take a deep breath.” He warns, and when you do, he breaches you with the head of his cock. 
“You ok?” He asks. “I know it's a lot to take.”
“Please, keep going.” You plead. The stinging stretch of him is divine. He slowly feeds himself to you, hissing at the sensation of your tight walls. 
“You feel amazing, baby.” He groans once he’s fully sheathed inside your wet heat. He stills for a moment, the both of you catching your breath. When you begin squirming underneath him he slowly pulls out, leaving only the tip of him inside, and with a powerful thrust, buries himself back inside you. It punches the air from your lungs and you cling to him, nails digging into the muscle of his shoulders. He quickly builds up to a feverish pace. The filth that falls from his mouth along with the feeling of the drag of his length along your walls has you cresting the wave of your orgasm. “You’re taking me so well, baby. Fuck you're so fucking tight.” He grabs the backs of your thighs and presses them forwards, towards your chest. 
The deeper angle has him hitting something inside of you that makes your vision burst with stars. Within moments, your orgasm crashes through your entire body. Your legs begin to shake as moans you know are your own but can’t recognize, ring in your ears. Edgar’s face looks almost pained and his chest is heaving, his pace falters and with two strong thrusts he stills inside of you and comes with a long moan of your name. He presses a soft kiss on your lips and pulls out of you with a hiss, taking care to hold the condom at the base of him. “Bathroom?” He asks and you point him in the right direction. 
You stand from your bed and pad over to your dresser. You open the top drawer and pull out one of your sleep shirts. This one is a Joy Division shirt that Frankie had given you years ago. You slip it over your head just as Edgar comes back into your room. He reaches down and finds his boxers and pulls them on. You stand awkwardly at the end of your bed and wait for him to finish dressing and leave, like they always do. You’re caught off guard when he sits on the edge of your bed, still clad on only his boxers. “
You gonnna come to bed?” He asks. “Unless…do you want me to leave?” You shake your head and come to stand in front of him. 
“No. I just, didn’t think you would want to stay.” He wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your stomach. He looks up at you through his long lashes and gives you a smile.
 “Which side do you sleep on?” You giggle and walk around to the other side of the bed. Edgar pulls back the covers and settles into the pillow. When you slide in, he pulls you close and wraps his arm around you and settles your head on his chest. You can hear his heart pounding fast, the pace similar to your own. He kisses your forehead and squeezes you a little tighter.
 “Goodnight, bonita .” He whispers into your hair. You drift off into a peaceful sleep with a smile on your face. 
You're pleasantly surprised to find him still in your bed in the morning. His chest to your back, arms still tightly wound around you. You slip out of his grip, and the room, quietly. You use the bathroom and wash your face. You try to tame your hair which is a mixture of sex-tousled and bed-head. Once you're satisfied with your appearance, as satisfied as you get, you head into the kitchen. And that's where Edgar finds you half an hour later, standing at the stove, frying potatoes for breakfast. Breakfast is your favorite food genre so you always have the ingredients for it. He wraps his hands around you from behind, still clad in only his boxer briefs, and settles his chin on your shoulder.
 "Good morning." He says as he presses a kiss into your neck. "Smells good." You gesture towards the counter. 
"Coffee's over there if you want some. Orange juice is in the fridge if you don't." You serve plates and walk them over to the table. Edgar sits down and his eyes widen when he sees his piled high with eggs, bacon, potatoes, homemade refried beans, and a stack of fresh tortillas. 
“You eat like this everyday?” He wonders. 
“Usually for dinner but pretty much.” You shrug. You share comfortable conversation while you eat and drink your coffee. You aren’t used to this. Breakfast and conversation the morning after a hook-up isn’t a common occurrence in your experience. Once you’ve both finished eating you stand and start carrying the dishes to the sink.
 “Do you need help cleaning up?” He asks.
 “No. “I’ve got it.” You assure him. He pauses on his way to your bedroom to give you a soft, sweet kiss. When he emerges, he’s dressed and has slicked his hair back into place. He leans against the counter near the sink, where you are finishing up washing the dishes. 
“I gotta head out, got a bunch of shit to do today.” He says, stroking your hip with his thumb. 
“Okay. See you Monday.” You say. 
“Well, actually, I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight.” He says. You look over at him and the seriousness of your eyes quells your worry. He seems genuine.
 “I don’t have any plans.” You tell him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He taps on the screen a few times and holds it out to you. 
“Gimme your number. I’ll call you when I’m done with all my errands.” He gives you another kiss before he leaves and you spend the rest of the day straightening up your apartment and doing laundry. 
When Frankie calls that evening you can hear in his voice that something’s bothering him. “What’s wrong?” You implore, the distress in his voice making you worry.
 ‘I have to tell you something, baby. I…I’ve been seeing someone. I didn’t want to tell you in case it turned out to be nothing, but it…it’s not nothing.” He babbled, almost whispering the last part. You bark out a laugh in his ear. 
“That’s it? Frankie you fucking scared me!” You yell. “First of all, I already knew this. Santi has big fucking mouth.” You hear him quietly grumbling, cursing his friend, no doubt. “Secondly, don’t ever be afraid to tell me what’s going on in your life. You’re my best friend. I’m happy that you’ve found someone. I never wanted you to sit around and wait for me, Francisco.” He breathes a sigh of relief. 
“Thank you, bonita .  I don’t know why I was so worried.” You share a laugh at Frankie’s expense. 
“I thought it was going to be something horrible, like someone died, or you were going off to war.” The other end of the line goes so silent, so quickly that you pull your phone  away from your ear to make sure the call didn’t disconnect. “Frankie? Are you there?”
“I’m here.” His response is eerily quiet. Realization washes over you.
 “Frankie?” You question. 
“I’m so sorry baby. I’m leaving for Afghanistan in three days.” You drop the phone to the floor and your knees buckle out from under you. 
“Baby? Baby?” You can barely hear him calling out for you. Your trembling hand reaches for the phone and you slowly pull it back up to your ear. For some reason the damn thing feels like it's ten pounds heavier than it was just a moment ago. A knot has formed in your throat and your stomach feels like you ate a bowl of lead for breakfast. 
“No. You can’t.” you croak out.
 “Everything is gonna be ok. I’m gonna be ok.” He says. 
“You don’t know that! You can’t fucking promise that, Frankie!” You shout. “You are all I have.” You cry. This is what you have been afraid of. This is what has kept you from joining him in Pennsylvania. This is why you can’t have the life you want with him. He’s leaving, he’s always fucking leaving you. And there’s a good chance that he won’t fucking come back this time. You can handle him being with someone else, you could probably handle him marrying someone else, having a family with them. But what you can’t handle, what you won’t survive, is him not coming home at all. You say your goodbyes. He promises that he will call again before he leaves. 
You’re still sitting in the same spot on the floor an hour later when your phone rings again. “Hello?” You are genuinely surprised to hear Edgar’s voice on the other end. Sure, he’d said he would call. Then again, they always say that.
“Do you still want to do something tonight?” He asks. You try to come up with a less pathetic excuse but fail to. So you sigh and decide on the truth.
 “Honestly? I just got some bad news so all I really want to do is sit at home and get shit-faced.” He laughs at your candor. 
“Well, if you’re up for the company, it sounds like a great time to me.” He offers to swing by the store and grab supplies. You text him your vodka brand, the pitiful amount in the bottle rattling around your freezer just won’t do it for tonight, and tell him to make sure he brings limes. You consider getting and changing into something a little cuter than sweatpants and muscle shirt, at least a bra, but you can’t find the will to give a shit. You sit there and scroll mindlessly through your phone until you hear a knock at the door. “Come in, it’s open!” You shout. The door to your apartment opens and Edgar walks through it, a few bags in one hand, twelve pack in the other. 
“You really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked like that, bonita .” The nickname makes you cringe internally this time. He sets the bags on the counter and the beer in the fridge. You finally drag yourself up from the floor and begin unpacking the bags he brought with him. One had a bottle of Grey Goose vodka, much more expensive than your usual brand, and another bottle of Patrón. You hold the bottle up and cock your eyebrow.
 “I don’t drink vodka.” He says with a laugh. You leave the limes rolling around in the bottom and move on to the other bag. There are two paper plates covered in foil. 
“What’s this?” His face lights up with a smile. 
“Since you made me breakfast, I brought you dinner. These are from my favorite taco truck.” You shake your head. “Not really hungry.” He walks over and grabs the bag from you. “I’m not getting you shit-faced on an empty stomach. You don’t wanna waste your Sunday on a hangover, do you?” You smile gently and shake your head. “Besides these are the best tacos you will ever have in your life. And he was right. You scarf down three chicharrón tacos without hesitation. “Thought you weren’t hungry, hermosa .” He teases. 
“Alright!” You exclaim. “Time for a drink.” You move to the cabinet and pull out two glasses and two shot glasses. You slice a few limes and grab the salt shaker from the spice cabinet. He pours two shots of tequila and you make your favorite drink, vodka soda with lime. “Cheers.” You say at the same time. You slam the shot and immediately chase it with the drink in your other hand. 
“Let’s get this party started.” He says. You let him choose the music and he follows you out to the balcony, where he sits with you for hours, trying to calm your fears about Frankie. He tells you about his own experiences in the Army. Eventually, you feel yourself starting to drift. 
“I guess I should call it a night.” You tell him.
“Lightweight.” He teases with a smile. 
“Sorry. Feel free to stay up though. You can let yourself out. Or not.” You offer.
 “Well I got something if you wanna stay up.” He says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out a baggie full of white powder.
 “What is it?” You ask.
“Coke. It’ll sober you up. Enough so we can have a few more drinks, or maybe do something else.” He says with a wink. 
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve never really done any drugs before.” Sure you had smoked a little weed in high school, but you’ve never had any desire to do anything more. To be honest, you really didn't even like that, it made you too sleepy. 
“No pressure, but it's there if you want some.” He shrugs. Fuck it, why not? You think. Especially if it’s gonna help you forget about your troubles for a little while.
 “Can- can you show me how?” You ask quietly. 
“Sure, baby. Come here.” He pats his thigh for you to sit it in his lap. He fishes his car keys out of his pocket. He reaches his arm around you to open the baggie and he dips the key in, pulling out a small mound of powder. He snakes his arm back around and holds one nostril closed. He holds the key up to the other and sniffs deeply. You watch his nose vacuum the powder up. He sniffs again and dusts off his nose. 
“Do you wanna try it?” You nod and he holds out the bag and eyes to you. 
“Could you do it for me?” He chuckles softly.
 “Okay.” And he cages you in his arms once again. He plunges the key back into the bag, this time pulling out a much, much smaller amount. “Hold one side and lean down.” He instructs. You hover your open nostril over the key. “Now sniff.” You do and it burns a little, pulling a cough out of you. 
“Fuck.” You choke. Immediately you feel a rush of warmth throughout your body. Your gums, and somehow your teeth, begin to tingle. You feel more alert than you had before you even started drinking. 
“You good?” Edgar asks. You turn and smile at him, nodding. “Good, let’s keep the party going.” 
You continue drinking for a few more hours, dipping the key into the bag more and more frequently. You’ve gotten the hang of it by now and can do it without Edgar’s help. Your whole body feels like it’s crackling with electricity. Every touch of his hand sets you on fire. You are becoming uncomfortably wet and his thigh slotted between yours isn’t helping the matter any. He feels you squirming but he’s enjoying the tease of it all. He has no plans to leave you unsatisfied. You haven’t thought about Frankiefor hours. And you don’t think about him at all when Edgar takes you to bed and fucks like you’ve never been fucked. All teeth and tongues, lust and hunger, for hours. And in the morning, when you wake for the second morning in a row wrapped up in him, he takes you softly and slowly and you feel the familiar feeling bubbling up in your chest. I could get used to this , you think.
True to his word, Frankie calls you Sunday night. He stays on the phone with you for hours, like you used to do when you were kids, even after you had spent the whole day together. His unit will be deployed for 9 months and he won’t be able to call. “But I’ll write to you every chance I get, baby, I swear.” He promises. 
“I love you, Frankie.” You tell him. 
“I love you, too, bonita . So much. Please take care of yourself. And you better believe Santi will be keeping an eye on you for me.” He warns. Santi doesn’t exactly tell Frankie all of your business, but he lets him know how you’re doing, how you’re really doing. You couldn’t be more thankful for having him in your life. Ever since the morning you woke up in the hospital with him by your side, the two of you have become extremely close. 
The next few weeks go by in a whirlwind. You and Edgar both agreed that keeping your, whatever this is, quiet at work is for the best, for both of you. He’s your direct superior and could get into a lot of trouble. You don’t want your coworkers thinking that you are getting special treatment, which you kind of are. He gives you the best assignments and approves all of your requests for time off. Not to mention the secretive touching, and kissing, in his office, behind the closed door. Janet and Jenny don’t seem as friendly as they used to, once they notice Edgar spending a lot of time hanging around your desk. But you don’t really care. You spend most of your weeknights at home alone, Edgar has a part-time job a few days a week, watching tv or reading. But your weekends are filled with Edgar. He usually spends Friday and Saturday nights with you, drinking and doing coke until the early morning hours. Saturday afternoons you spend with your family, but he always ends back up at your apartment. He takes you apart weekend after weekend and puts you back together again with soft and sweet Sunday mornings in bed. You are starting to fall for him and you think that the feeling is mutual.
One day, he joins you for lunch in the break room. You laugh and talk quietly about your previous weekend's adventures. You can feel the death-stares from Jenny and Janet two tables down. Janet gets up and walks over to your table. She stares directly at you but speaks to Edgar. 
"So, Edgar, how is Emily doing?" She asks. His body stiffens momentarily.
 "She's fine. Why?" Janet shrugs.
 "She used to come by a lot, bring you lunch. Just wondering why we haven't seen your wife around much lately. She's such a sweetheart." Even though she smiles her words drip with venom. When she spies the look on your face, she smirks and turns to leave the break room, satisfied that her words have hit their mark.
 "What the fuck? " You hiss quietly. 
“I can explain.” He whispers. “Not here. Not now.” 
You stand so quickly your chair falls back, causing every eye in the small room to snap in your direction. You feel hot tears prick at your eyes. “I’m not feeling very well.” You manage to say. “I think I need to go home.” He just nods while looking down at the table. Fucker can’t even look you in the eye. You stop by your desk and grab your purse and walk as calmly, more calm than you feel, out the door. The second the cool air hits your face you can’t hold the tears back any longer. Hot, wet drops pepper your cheeks. You dig in your bag for your phone and find Santi’s contact. He answers on the third ring.
“Hey, hermosa . You finally get tired of your new boyfriend? You ready for a real man, yet?” He teases. But the second he hears the anguish in your voice when you cry his name, he gets very serious. “What happened? Are you safe?” He asks frantically. Seeing you in that hospital bed was very traumatic for him as well. The sight of your broken and bloody body sent a fiery rage coursing through his blood. It has made him fiercely protective of you. That piece of shit should consider himself lucky that he was already in jail by the time Santi made it from San Antonio to Austin. He would have done a hundred times worse to him. And Frankie? Frankie would have killed him, no question. 
“I’m safe, but I need you.” Is all you manage to get out between sobs. He tells you to meet him at your apartment. You compose yourself enough to drive the short distance to your apartment. You lock the door behind you and run to the kitchen where you throw up in the sink. How could you have been so fucking stupid? You rinse your mouth out and strip off your work clothes on the way to your bedroom. You dig Frankie’s Joy Division shirt out of your top drawer and pull it over your head. You crawl beneath the covers and cry. 
Santi finds you in the same position when he lets himself in with his key an hour later. “Shit.” He says. He kicks off his shoes and pulls the blanket back. He crawls in beside you and wraps his arms around you. “What happened, baby? Please talk to me.” He pleads. “I’ll fucking kill him.” He promises. 
“Married? Fucking pendejo. ” Santi says. Hours have passed since he found you curled into a ball in your bed. He held you and stroked your hair and whispered all the right things to you. Finally you exhausted yourself, and fell asleep. When you woke up you had ten missed calls, all from Edgar. Even more text messages. All of them have some form of apology and pleas to give him a chance to explain himself.
 “He doesn’t wear a ring.” You explain. “And now that I think of it, we only ever hung out here.” Santi shakes his head and you chastise yourself internally. Looking back, there were so many signs that you just didn’t see, or chose to ignore, again. “I miss Frankie.” You pout. Santi puts an arm around you. 
“I know you do, baby. But you should be glad he isn’t here right now. That boy is liable to do something to get himself court-martialed.” You sigh because you know he’s right. You’d seen first hand the lengths he was willing to go to protect you. You spend the evening eating Chinese take out and watching shitty tv until a knock comes at your door. You look at Santi, wide-eyed, as he hops up from the couch. Another pounding knock comes before he makes it to the door. He turns the lock and opens the door just enough to fit his broad frame. 
“Can I help you?” He huffs.
 “Is she here?” You hear Edgar ask, just across the threshold. 
“Don’t you have a wife to be worried about? She isn’t your concern anymore.” Santi spits. 
“I just need to talk to her.” He says. You figure you might as well deal with this now instead of at work, in front of everyone, where you can be further embarrassed.
 “It’s ok.” You call from the couch. “Let him in.” Santi looks at you on the couch and you nod. He opens the door slightly more but doesn’t move from the doorway, so Edgar has to brush past him to enter the apartment. Santi follows hot on his heels as he makes his way over to the couch. He sits next to you and reaches his hand out to you. 
“ No la toques.” Santi growls from where he is standing behind the couch. Edgar jerks his hand back. “I just want to explain.” He says. You cross your arms across your chest.
 “Fine. Explain. It better be fucking good.” You tell him. 
He launches into a long, drawn out story that basically boils down to: he’s in a green card marriage. They don’t even share a room, he claims. Santi rolls his eyes but you feel your resolve weakening. His brown eyes look so sad, his face so earnest. But you know you can’t give in so easily. He lied to you. He fucking embarrassed you. You haven't said a word this whole time, and you don’t break now.
 “Okay. You explained. Time to go.” Santi motions for him to get up and nods towards the door. 
“I guess I’ll see you at work. Call me if you wanna talk some more.” Santi locks the door behind him and flops back onto the couch. 
“Please don’t tell me you believe any of that bullshit.” You sigh and sink into the couch, draping your feet across Santi’s legs. 
“I don’t know. He sounded like he was being honest.” You shrug. 
“Yeah? And how would you know what that sounds like?” He scoffs. He has a point. What are you going to do? Be his mistress? You don’t even know how you are going to show your face at the office tomorrow. You briefly consider just finding a new job, but you don’t want to give any of them the satisfaction. 
You spend the next few weeks much as you have the majority of your life, alone. You go to work, where nobody will talk to you unless they have to. Except Edgar, of course, who you have no desire to speak with. Funny how he’s the one who lied, the one who stepped out on his marriage, but you’re the bad guy. Nobody seems to have taken any issue with him. You eat lunch alone in your car. You go home to your apartment alone, where you spend your evenings drinking too much vodka and re-reading the stack of letters you have received from Frankie. He’s been gone for about four months by now and you miss him more than ever.
One Friday night, after your fourth vodka soda, your phone rings, like it always does. This time, you take a look at the tear stained letter in your hand, sigh and answer. “Hello?” The line is silent for a moment before Edgar’s voice fills your ears. 
“I can’t believe you answered. Can I see you?” He asks. 
“You see me every day.” You reply.
 “You know what I mean. I miss you.” Your loneliness is sitting so heavy on you that you relent. He arrives with everything he would usually bring, party favors, as he calls them. 
You fall back into him so easily. Back into the pattern you had become accustomed to. You still don’t speak at work. You still don’t see him during the week outside of the office. But on Fridays and Saturdays, you’re his. He keeps your freezer stocked with vodka and you’re never without a baggie or two of your own now. Turns out, his part time job is as a drug dealer. You barely notice that it takes more and more powder to achieve that blissful numbness you crave. You attribute the nosebleeds that are becoming more frequent to allergies. You justify your affair with him. Even after you find out that he lied, again, about his living arrangements with his wife. You tell yourself that he means all those sweet nothings he moans while you are underneath him, on your knees for him. The quiet words he whispers into your hair as you drift off to sleep in the early morning hours. He makes you feel so good when he’s with you. But in the harsh light of the morning, when he’s gone back to his wife, you’ve never felt worse about yourself. You can’t help but compare him to Frankie. Frankie would never treat you this way. He’s never made you feel anything less than adored. Someone precious, to be treasured. But you are the one who allows this to continue. 
Your “party favors” are no longer relegated to just the weekends. You carry a bag with you everywhere you go these days. Your nightstand is littered with empties. You go through your life on autopilot. Work, home, family obligations. Just coasting until the weekend. Santi is the only other person you spend any real time with, though much less than you used to. He’s noticed the change in your mood, your behavior. You know he’s worried. You’ve tried to assure him that you are fine, but you know that your attempts are unsuccessful. Frankie’s letters have become increasingly concerned as well. One Thursday night, tired of being sad and alone, tired of waiting for your boyfriend to leave his wife for you, something he keeps promising, you decide to go out for a drink. You slip into that same little black dress from that first night with Edgar, all those months ago, and walk the two blocks to the bar on the corner. The place is surprisingly packed for a weeknight, there’s only one open stool at the bar. The woman sitting there is around your age. She has heavy black eyeliner and bright red lipstick on. 
“Do you mind if I sit here?” You ask her.
 “Oh, please! This place is so fucking boring!” She exclaims. Her name is Kim and you spend the next couple of hours getting to know her, and telling her all of your stupid problems. She dudes this air of confidence you’ve always wished you had. On a trip to the bathroom, together of course, she reaches into her bra and pulls out a baggie that matches the one sitting on your kitchen counter where you had, unfortunately, left it. She does a bump off her keys and holds them both out to you. 
“Want some?” You nod enthusiastically and take them from her. It burns going up your nose, worse quality than what you are used to. 
“I’ve got some way better shit at my house if you wanna go have some drinks there.” You offer and she agrees instantly. You stay up late into the night talking about music and movies and past lovers. 
Finally, you have a friend. Kim lives just down the street from you so you often end up together most days. You cook for her at your apartment and she orders pizza for you at hers. You have so much in common that the conversation never ends. She thinks you should keep seeing Edgar. 
“Why not? He pays for everything, he’s nice when he’s with you, and he has the best coke I’ve ever had.” She makes a good argument. “You can dump him whenever your army boy comes home to marry you.” You throw a pepperoni at her head.
 “Shut up! I’m not gonna marry him.” You tell her. 
“Why wouldn’t you? He loves you, dummy. Even though you’re a hot ass mess. Do you know how rare that is?” You take another bite of pizza before you respond.
 “He deserves so much better than me. Like you said, I’m a hot ass mess. He joined the army to get his life together, to have a life. I don’t wanna drag him down.” 
She laughs and stuffs the rest of her crust into her mouth. “You are a dumb bitch. But I love you anyway.”
One night, while partying at your house, you accidentally walk in on Kim in the bathroom. She is sitting on the lid of the toilet and has her bandana wrapped around her bicep. In her other hand is a syringe that she is about to plunge into her arm. “Oh shit! I’m sorry!” You exclaim and slam the door shut behind you. When she emerges a few minutes later, you notice her dilated pupils and the way she seems a little out of breath. You apologize profusely but she waves you off. “What is it like?” You ask her when you’ve both resettled on your balcony. 
“It's a high like nothing else, and I’ve done it all.” She says. “Doesn’t last long, though.” She adds. You nod. “Do you wanna try it?” She asks. 
“Oh, I don’t think so. I’m afraid of needles.” She barks out a laugh at that.
 “You are covered in tattoos.” She says.
 “It’s different!” You defend with a shrug. 
“Well if you ever do wanna try it, you have to be careful. Too much and you’ll drop dead, miss the vein and you’ll fuck your shit up. Just…if you do, let me know.” You nod in response, sure that you will never take her up on the offer. You don’t hear from Edgar all weekend, which is odd. He doesn't respond to any of your text messages, either. Monday, when you arrive at work, you are greeted by the sight of a new receptionist. She’s young, around your age, and gorgeous.
 “Hi, I’m Ana.” You extend your hand to her and. Offer her your name in return. Edgar avoids you all morning, doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. You decide to take your lunch after everyone else has come back from theirs, choosing to catch up on some work. You’ve let your work slide recently, too wrapped up in your personal issues. You head to the break room to buy a soda from the vending machine. As the door swings open you see Ana wrapped up in Edgar’s arms. They jump apart when they notice you there. Ana’s face turns red and she rushes out of the room without a word.
 The smirk on Edgar’s face says everything you need to know. You return to your desk, your appetite long gone, and count the minutes until 4:00. At 3:45 Edgar comes by your desk. “HR needs to see you.” 
Thirty minutes later you shuffle out to your car with a box of all of your belongings in your hand. “Someone” had made an anonymous report that you were seen using drugs in the bathroom. Even though you had, you know exactly who the report came from. The person who had been feeding you the drugs for months. And you had fallen for his bullshit, again. What the fuck is wrong with you? When you refused to take a drug test, they fired you. 
You call Kim on the way home and tell her to meet you there. “I need to get supremely fucked up, immediately.” You tell her when she walks into your apartment. She nods and begins pulling her gear out of her purse. A ziploc bag of syringes and cotton balls, and a few, by now, all too familiar clear baggies, and a plastic, rectangular box with a biohazard label on it.
 “Let’s get fucked up.” She says. 
Kim was right, what she said before. It was a feeling like you'd never felt in all your life. A euphoria you've until then never known. Every problem, every issue, just melted away. The rush of pleasure that floods your body is better than the best sex you'd ever had. You spend the weekend in your apartment with Kim, sliding needles into your veins and powder up your nose. You don't answer a single phone call or text. You just want to keep the world at bay for a little while. Enjoy the quiet that has taken up residence in your mind. 
Sunday night, you finally start to come down. That's always the worst part. The price to be paid for the ability to forget for a while. Your body is shaking and your mind is foggy. This is usually about the time you start to question your choices. The regret creeps in, and you chastise yourself. You lay on the couch alternating between feeling sorry for yourself and being pissed off at yourself, until your thoughts are interrupted by a banging on your door. 
I no longer have a taglist. Please be sure to follow @ramble-on-fics and turn on post notifications for updates!
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lincolndjarin · 8 months
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BKS ✦ notes & bts : chapters 1-5
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spoilers for chapter 1-5 of Best Kept Secret!!
a/n :
I feel like this is just SO self indulgent of me but whatever I guess lmao, bks is my brain baby currently and I will take any excuse to talk about it. These posts are going to be long in-depth dives into my writing process, dress inspo, music i was inspired by, etc. of the mentioned chapters so settle in cause this is what i'm doing today lol. also this might be the longest one bc i'm gonna talk about starting and coming up with everything.
starting writing and original outlines :
i've said this so many times lmao but i wrote the ending first. like the ending ending. i work really long hours at a job that has me listening to music for like ten hours a day while i work so i get a lot of thinking time lmao. basically i originally wrote it as a story with no specific characters in mind. I'm a big Pedro fan so i was between characters i thought fit the fic but settled on din because i think he fit the character i was imagining best. (it helps that he's in my top three pedro characters lol) from there laid out a vague outline in my mind of where i wanted to start so i created a set list of characters and basically just dove right in without much to guide me except for an ending point lmao. it wasnt until closer to like chapter 15-16 when i started properly outline each chapter in advance in the document, before that i just wrote vague notes in a notebook that i didn't end up following all that well lmao
music :
i've also said this at one point but the original name of best kept secret was "my keeper and i" i wrote the first three chapters in the same week and spread out the posting but i used the same playlist for most of the early stuff so here's that!!
original bks playlist
inspirations :
if you've seem/read bridgerton then you might know that i took a lot of inspiration from the pattern the show uses and still do.
basically the show has a pattern of the couple getting together and breaking it off or having an issue that's resolved and then there's a new issue. i've sort of been following that sorta kinda
also reader is heavily based on charlotte because i had just finished queen charlotte when i started writing bks
din is more based on anthony bridgerton than george, (anyone unfamiliar with bridgerton, george is the love interest in queen charlotte)
also a lot of din's style of self loathing is based on edwards from twilight LMAO
notes :
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here's a random page of misc. notes that i lowkey can't decipher lol
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here are my chapter four notes! shoutout to when i didn't realize it was sarad'ika and it was originally ika sarad lmaooo
there's some unused dialogue here, specifically there was going to be a longer conversation about how he wanted to get her out of the castle more often as well as a scene where she was going to eat fruit ands it was gonna drip down her front and he was gonna wipe it off. it was gonna be a whole thing lmao but it didn't really fit the rest of the chapters vibe.
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so.... originally there was a timeline issue where the first lunar interlude (i'm a huge taz balance fan and that's where i got the name lunar interlude from lmaoooo, i have 2 taz tattoos) was going to be chapter 4 and then it was going to be chapter 6 and then it made the most sense to make it 5, so any timeline notes here are wrong.
in my original concept for the fic, every chapter was going to end with a small portion of din pov, but it didn't flow well and i really didn't like it so it ended up being easier having it be specific chapters.
when writing the first lunar interlude i went through and read the previous chapters and wrote down how i thought he was feeling during each scene which is what these notes are ^
dresses :
here's a collection of the dresses i used as inspo for chapters 1-5 (these were posted on my old account but i'm gonna put them here as well!!)
chapter one :
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the wedding dress was based on this dress!!
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and this is the sort of jewelry i was picturing but this stuff is still pretty, i couldn't find anything as ugly as what i was picturing for her wedding jewelry.
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this is the sort of stuff i pictured for her blue dresses she hates but honestly all of these are pretty as well LMAO. in all honesty i think that the blue dresses she doesn't like wearing are probably pretty i think she mostly just hates what they stand for and also they put her in gaudy makeup and jewelry as well which doesn't help
chapter two :
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used all sorts of dresses as inspo for this chapter! here are these!
chapter three :
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sort of a combination of these for the chapter three dress, if that makes sense lmao
chapter four :
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something along these lines for the garden dress!!
that's all for these chapters!! I'll probably do 6-15 for the next one since there won't be as many notes for those and then go back to five each for the rest!! i have to do some practice makeup for the concert i'm going to this week so the next one of these will be up either tonight or tomorrow!!
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laylajeffany · 4 months
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Hi! As you can probably guess, I completely love Chaos, and I have a few more questions. Thanks for the playlist by the way, it’s been all I’ve listened to since you linked it. Sorry for all the questions, I’m just curious.
1) In the Spotify playlist, the first song is “Sea, swallow me”. Is that song referenced somewhere in the fic, or does it just give off a general Chaos vibe? I’ve been trying to remember if it was mentioned somewhere but cant recall. As an additional Note, it is my new favourite song, so thanks!
2) You mentioned that all the OCs appearances are physically based on real people. Who are Dr Zypher, Emiliana and Holly-Jane based on? Is Emiliana based off of Eva Green, because thats how I imagine her. You’ve done an excellent job with the OCs, they’re just so perfect.
3) When you describe clothing, do you make them up in your mind or doe they actually exist? I get that some, like the custom ordered dresses in the latest chapter, must be made up, but are some of them real? Do you have some Pinterest board with all of their clothes just to keep track? 😂
4) How do you find time to write? I write 1000 words for my fic every day, and it takes me about an hour. 50K chapters in 2 weeks is a miracle. Do you sleep?
I’ve probably forgotten a question or two, so I hope you don’t mind if I ask more in the future😅
Thank you for all you do, I’ve never been so invested in a fic before. Just remember to relax and take breaks when you need it, don’t force yourself to write on 2 hours sleep!
I am happy to answer questions about Chaos for the Fly, the writing process, and other fic/writing related things. Thank you for your interest! 1. I think I referenced near the beginning somewhere that Wednesday had discovered some music on her own outside of classical when she accepted an algorithm to suggest songs for her. It had been 80s imports of some kind - and that was probably the one that I had in mind, even if it wasn’t mentioned specifically. There’s probably a few songs that weren’t actually mentioned by name but were alluded to in the fic - meaning I didn’t say the title in dialogue, but had something playing in the background for myself, and there you have it. 2. You have opened a VERY DANGEROUS can of worms with this question, lmfao.
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You are a dead ringer for Emiliana! That’s Eva Green, 100%, the ONLY person who could play the role. It would be like a touch of Penny Dreadful for the out-of-her-damn-mind demon possession vibes, but mostly, just as herself (she’s cray and I love how socially awkward and accidentally funny she is in interviews) not so much Vanessa Ives. Eva Green has worked with Tim Burton a ton of times and wouldn’t even need a single line of direction in this role. Emi is SO easy to write because she is pure chaos both in physicality, mentally, her linguistics, her magic, and personality. I honestly think she’s one of the characters I’m saddest isn’t real because she’d fit in to drive Wednesday absolutely MAD as her big bird. I have a feeling we’re not going to explore Raven lore in S2 and the two of them trying to figure out their powers together, after Emiliana spent half her life suffering alone, has been some of my favorite parts of the fic to write. I always write scenes with Emiliana the fastest. Her love of Beanie Babies and bad influence is entirely, too much fun. Her voice is so easy and she will never truly understand American idioms. 
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Dr. Zypher is AMY ADAMS, because GAY-ME, for Amy Adams. She’d absolutely crush the role, the fact that she doesn’t have a closet full of Oscars is just despicable (6 time nominee bro). SHE HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL and I don’t think anyone ever lets her sing enough in movies. Put this woman in some broadway revival of an old musical and you’ll catch me personally saving the economy from collapse by taking the train up to see her every weekend. She's so adaptable and different in any role, and I just feel like she’d volley SO WELL with JO’s Wednesday. She's a professional who understands character layers that sweet and angsty Josie requires.
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Dr. Holly is Emily Blunt plucked right from the Jungle Cruise movie in terms of how she’s styled but a far cry from her character there with her boldness - even if they would likely have competing career ambitions. ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN EMILY BLUNT IN ALL THE SUITS IN THE NEW NETFLIX PAIN HUSTLER MOVIE? I’m deceased. This is a ghost writing. Holly is really in the story 1) because I needed a plot line for Larissa, post-transformation, that didn’t involve Wednesday and was TRAGIC but beautiful and could GO SOMEWHERE, and2) we REALLY do need something to stabilize the molecular structure of shifting-type Outcasts, and 3) it helped give some context as to how desperate Larissa was to hire Normie "Thornhill" and why she took that chance against her usually better judgement- so there she was! Emily Blunt is a CLASS. ACT. In everything she does and I imagine her in a scene with Gwendoline COULD NEVER exist because it would be too powerful, solve all the world’s problems, and capitalism would break, societies would collapse. It could never happen. It wouldn’t be safe. Here’s her glow up, from fresh-out-of-the jungle, to letting Larissa buy her some new clothes and maybe letting her hair down every now and then, to nerdy botanist bombshell, at the New Nevermore Network, helping her girl rebuild things to be a more fair society for Outcasts. GORGE. 
ARE THESE ALL JUST WOMEN IN THEIR MID 40s THAT I HAVE A BIG LESBIAN CRUSH ON? YEAH, YEAH THEY ARE. There’s obviously more for staff at Nevermore and the Network but I have a solid 5k to get to writing still this evening. The rest of my OCs are pretty minor (well villain aside), and I don’t really care enough about any man to spend the time looking for pictures of /boys/. These are the 3 OCs that are featured the most, anyway. Some day I’ll find enough energy to do the rest. I have extreme face-blindness when I read, and the ONLY WAY I can thusly write an OC is if my beta makes a powerpoint presentation for me with an actor/ress in mind for me to visualize in the role. When I tell ya, she hit the nail on the head with those three above? Unbelievable.  Another favorite not-OC, but someone I HARDCORE RECASTED FOR THIS would be Granny Frump. We went from Margaret Hamilton (OG Wicked Witch of the West from Wizard of Oz) in the 1960s Addams Family, which is EXCELLENT CASTING, but to fit the more modern-era Wednesday 2022 adaptation, and to give a flair of the drama as to perhaps where Morticia “gets it from,” I decided to cast someone only two years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones to give that “Frump Homespun Magic” storyline some weight of ‘the potions and beauty charms work’ and went with a non-actress, for the aesthetics (though she could KILL IT her appearances are small), and that is the one and only, What Not To Wear’s Stacy London.
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Like IMAGINE that matching vibe with CZJ’s Morticia? Stacy has similar build/some features in common, and with the all black hair BUT WITH HER SIGNATURE gray stripe? Iconic. (And that was also Grandpa “Clint’s” backstory last chapter, as in Stacy and Clinton’s dramatic saga. HEY - IF YOU DONT HAVE INSIDE JOKES WITH YOUR BETA in your writing, what’s the point??) Stacy’s voice and CZJ’s Morticia voice together would be SO GRATING and Wednesday would just be so in-her-element between them, I LIVE.  3. I usually just visualize what I’d want the characters to wear! I don’t often have picture inspiration - though sometimes I am writing and it says in bold highlight DESCRIBE THE DRESS - TRACEY FIND ME A DRESS, and she sends me some pictures to go through so I can just describe a garment without having to make it up. I don’t have a Pinterest I’d be willing to share. It’s just a binder full of women in a way that would probably unsettle most. 
4. I usually write about 2-2.5k an hour if that is all I’m focused on. I probably average 4-9k on a work day without a second job or social obligation after work, and the most I’ve ever written on a single day that I had no work, other ‘sponserbilities, or social plans was 21k. On an average weekend with like one thing to do during the day and some chores and relaxation time not writing, I probably go around 14-16k per day. At the same time I started this fic, I set a new year resolution to myself to only work my contracted hours, so with the exception of a few crazy times in the school year - like conferences - I work from 8:00-15:30 M-F, and I live a three minute walk from my school, so I don’t even lose time commuting. I also stopped working on weekday evenings on the side in August, and starting in 2024 will not be doing any extra side work at all. I don’t sleep great but I do try! :) Thanks for the questions! I've been meaning to give some faces to those 3 OCs. I strongly encourage you to print out pictures of them and post them on your fridge, you will be 100% happier if you do.
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earth1to1wynter · 2 years
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non despair au rantaro amami hcs!!
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-rantaro knows, like, 12 different languages
-he's only actually fluent in 3 or 4. those would probably be english, japanese, korean, and spanish
-the rest he knows at a survival level. which is to say if he were dropped into the middle of an area where they only spoke one of those languages, he could get himself some food, get a hotel room, lose a sister, pick up a souvenir, and buy a plane ticket home
-he'll also just switch between languages randomly, especially in his head. he'll start a sentence in one language and go through two more before he finishes his thought
-this happens a lot in class, too
-rantaro will be giving a presentation or answering a question, and he'll switch to another language
-and he only realizes it when his peers start to giggle or when the teacher gently stops him and tells him he’s speaking in another language
-then he just awkwardly laughs and scratches his neck before continuing in his original language
-he loves tally hall (hidden in the sand, the bidding), the neighbourhood (cry baby, softcore, fallen star, reflections), jack stauber (choice, oh klahoma, buttercup), tame impala (lost in yesterday, let it happen, desire be desire go), and harry styles (as it was, kiwi)
-maybe i'll drop my rantaro playlist 👀
-a date to one of these concerts is a MUST
-he somehow always gets awesome tickets by pure chance. maybe the tickets were on discount, maybe he had some connections, or maybe he won them over the radio
-i don't think he's afraid to wear dresses or makeup.
-as shown in the game, he's pretty good at painting nails, so i think he'll wear a little makeup from time to time or vibe in a dress every couple weeks
-they might not be his prefered clothing item, but i think he'd wear one
-rantaro in the strawberry dress >>>
-he also draws from time to time! nothing too fancy, but he'll draw something interesting around him with a ballpoint pen while he waits for a train or something. rantaro's art is actually pretty good
-he has the vibes of someone who likes reading old and dusty books by candlelight or by a window
-i think he really enjoys historical fiction or fantasy books. preferably with a little romance and drama sprinkled in
-speaking of drama, he says he's a peace keeper, but he actually enjoys watch other people's drama unfold
-he also has a habit of accidentally flirting with almost everyone he talks to. rantaro doesn't even know he's flirting, it'll just kinda...happen
-his friends know that he doesn't mean it, but everyone else? nope.
-he's also so smooth. SO smooth and SO clever
-even without him accidentally flirting with people, he gets asked out or gets notes in his locker fairly often, and he feels so bad turning them down. he does his best to let them down slowly
-his relationship with his parents is...tense, to say the least. they still love him very much and they're not abusive or harmful in any way, things are just a little off after losing rantaro's sisters
-back to a lighter note, i think he really enjoys stargazing and can use the stars to guide him
-especially when he travels to other places, he loves seeing the contrasts and similarities between the sky where he is and the sky where his home is
-he probably plays the weirdest instruments
-definitely the guitar and ukulele, but he also probably plays like the dulcimer or something too
-rantaro's also pretty absent minded and spaces out often
-he kinda likes this quality, he thinks it makes him look all cool and mysterious
-his forgetfulness stems from being absent minded
-this makes it fairly difficult to concentrate in class. one minute he'll be listening to the lecture and the next he's neck deep in thought about his next trip
-to help combat this, rantaro has found that doodling on his paper every couple of minutes helps keep him focused
-luckily, his clever nature helps him get good grades, even if he was spacing out for the whole lesson
-he's also a little time blind, too
-rantaro could start a project, then BAM! it's been 6 hours and he hasn't eaten or drank anything
-funnily enough, this only happens when he's inside
-if he's outside, he'll be able to guess the time within 10 minutes of what it actually is
-he can also do this if there's a window open
-i think this a little obvious, but he loves being outside
-he out there reading or working or something for a good handful of hours
-has been known to sleep outside on his patio or dorm balcony for absolutely no reason
-his favorite place is the mountains
-rantaro loves being so high up and watching clouds form and move before his eyes
-and the trails are so pretty, too!
-all in all, a pretty cool guy
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maxthesillyy · 4 months
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Begging for a list of songs that you associate with your blorbos.
oh thank GOD somebody asked. I lied. im not normal about them. they make me insane.
i do have spotify playlists for them that im gonna share, but fair warning they do widely range from “Songs i liked so then in turn associated to them” to “Just Vibes™️” to “Songs that are literally them” so i am gonna list out my faves :3
okay so for some reason chloe’s playlist just refuses to cooperate. apparently this is the thanks i get for sacrificing a whole town for her. but no fr, just search up “chloe.p vibes” in spotify and it’ll be the one with chloe staring at the camera with a photogenic sadness 🙏
i think my faves for this one would have to be: smokey eyes, wrath, call me what you like, im yer dad, alien blues, and (literally the most chloe post-hell week song ever) i’m not angry anymore 
my faves are probably: smokey eyes, guilty, body, cold weather, come over again, brutal, teen idle, dinner is not over, prom dress, and stressed out
for this girlie a good chunk of her songs are based off pure vibes… especially the fnaf song.
faves: femme fatale, my ordinary life, are you satisfied, oh no!, obsession, dumb dumb, home where, and sweet dreams (skylike dreams)
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yamahex · 2 years
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What The Media Wants Pt. 2
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Summary: You and Jack go out on your first official date.
Pairing: Jack x Reader
It’s been a week since this PR stunt started and already Jack’s fans have mixed emotions about the news. Every time you went on Instagram, your page was flooded with comments like
“You’re too much of a bitch to be Jack’s girlfriend.”
“How could someone like Jack be happy with someone like you?”
For once you tried your best to ignore them, and get to know Jack. You were both at each other’s apartments pretty often and Jack included you in his music activities. Like bringing you to the studio and having you backstage at some of his shows.
There was a part of you wondering how much of it was genuine and how much was for the stunt.
“So I wanna take you out on a date.” You looked up from your phone not realizing your legs were resting on his lap.
“Why do we need to go out on a date when we’re always with each other?
“Why not?” You rolled your eyes and smirked. “Fine.”
“Mhm you know you wanted to say yes.” He laughed making you punch his arm.
The date night finally came and you were honestly nervous. Jack told you to dress casual so you were wearing a cropped hoodie and sweats with sneakers.
Knocking filled your apartment and you jogged from your bedroom to open the door. Once you opened it you were met with flowers.
“Oh wow.” You examined the flowers and felt your heart skip a beat. Jack watched your eyes lit up at the sight, making him smile.
“Thank you.” You took the flowers from him and went to get a vase. “You’re welcome, you look very pretty.”
“Thanks.” You turned to look at him. “You clean up nice.”
He smacked his lips then laughed.
“Nah don’t do that, I’m always fresh.”
“Mhm so what are we doing?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” You locked your apartment then walked to his car which he opened the door for you. After he got in he gave you the aux.
“Here it’s gonna be a little bit of a drive.” You connected your phone and turned on your vibey playlist to match the late night vibe.
Throughout the drive Jack caught glances of you making you turn your head and look out the window. Knack for it came on and he turned to look at you.
“You listen to me?” You were a little embarrassed.
“Yeah I love this song, your voice sounds really nice on this album. Gazebo too, that’s for sure a late night vibe.” Jack felt his heart flutter.
“Thank you.”
After awhile he pulled into a parking lot in a drive in movie theater. You looked around and it was empty.
“Uh Jack I think this place is closed.” He turned off the car. “I may have pulled some strings and rented it out. Plus this is the best place to stargaze.”
“What movie are we watching?”
“Y/F/M.” Your eyes widened. “How did you know that was my favorite movie?”
“I got my ways.” Jack dropped the top in his car then jumped into the back seat. You followed and accidentally landed on his lap. Your cheeks flushed and you instantly scooted over into the seat.
“S-sorry.”
“Nah it’s fine. Let me know if you get cold.” You nodded.
The movie played and you couldn’t take your eyes off it. Deciding to test the waters Jack put his arm over your shoulder making you lean into his touch. He smiled and lightly took in your scent.
Once the movie was over the both of you looked up at the stars. “You’re not what I expected.” You laid on Jack’s chest while staring at the stars. He chuckled.
“I could say the same about you.” The sky glimmered around you both. “Why do you keep up that image?”
You sighed and sat up. “It’s what the media wants. Everyone has me painted out to be this nasty person because I don’t put up with bullshit.”
“I didn’t use to care enough to respond to my hate comments. My ex who was a influencer as you know, always read the comments on our posts together which led to them cheating on me with someone they thought the media would approve of.” Jack studied your saddened expression.
“Over time times it’s just easy to keep up the front of being a bitch since people don’t want to get to know me.” You shook your head to break away from the sadness.
Jack brushed aside a piece of stray hair and your eyes met his. “I’m glad I get to see this side of you. The funny, laid back and awkward side. Plus I think the attitude is hot.”
“Wait, Awkward?!” He laughed and you looked down in embarrassment. His hand tilted your chin up and your eyes locked.
“Can I kiss you?” You nodded then the both of you leaned in. The two of you could feel your hearts beating fast as his soft lips pressed against yours.
He pulled away and just looked at you. “You’re so beautiful.” You bit your lip and looked away.
At the end of the night Jack dropped you back off at your apartment.
“I’m sorry the date wasn’t as long as I wanted it to be, Neelam insisted I go to this damn club to sign something with some artists.”
“That’s okay I had a really good time, thank you.” His hand held yours and he placed another kiss on your lips.
“Goodnight I’ll text you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight have fun, get home safe.” He smiled and walked back to his car. The moment you got into your apartment you lightly screamed and jumped up and down.
No one has ever made you feel like this. You called your manager to tell her how the date went.
“Hello?”
“I think I’m in love.” You proceeded to tell her about your night till you fell asleep. When you woke up the next morning your phone was flooded with notifications. You opened Instagram and the first thing you saw was a post on teaspill titled:
“Jack Harlow Seen Closely With Anitta At Tao”
To Be Continued….
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cieloclercs · 7 months
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lover, you should’ve come over , send me a description of yourself + a fandom and gender preference, and i’ll ship you with a character
for f1 please! here's a description of me (tbh idk how much info you want so):
lola, I'm pansexual, she/her, I'm korean-pakistani, born and raised in the uk, 5'5, brown skin, long-ish black hair and black eyes, I tend to dress in a mixture of clothes, very into fashion (I love pintrest) and fashion weeks are the highlight of my year, I love football (liverpool fan), I love formula one (ferrari, mercedes, and redbull), and I do archery in my spare time, i'm fluent in 3 languages english urdu and punjabi, i'm also not really in touch with my korean side, which is why I want to try and learn korean some time in the future, also have alot's of family trauma!!, I'm currently in uni studying psychology and I want to become a therapist, I love animals and I have two dogs (salt and pepper) and a cat (bartolomeu the cannible), I love music and spend alot of my time creating playlists, very chaotic (adhd), my fav season is either spring or autumn, I love aesthetic things, and am kinda a perfectionist, very much a people pleaser, kinda nervous around new people, love writing stories, I have a older brother, can't cook to save my life (unless it's pot noddle), also I love spicy food!!
i ship you with lando norris!
— i didn’t even really have to think about this one it just SCREAMS lando to me like…first of all i think he’d take advantage of your love of fashion to take you on shopping trips all the time and basically just spoil you. i think he’d also secretly enjoy if you made him sit down and watch a fashion show with you. i can see him getting really invested, giving his opinion on every outfit and just looking so proud and adorable whenever you agree with something he says 🥹
— ok ok so he definitely thinks you’re super badass because of the archery, like he’s so in awe of you (and maybe a little bit terrified) !! i feel like if you ever try to learn korean at some point or get in touch with your korean heritage he’d want to do it with you. like he’d download duolingo and do it with you every single day. same applies to your pakistani heritage, he’s always wanting to learn more because he just wants to be a part of every aspect of your life !! 🤍
— oooh lando x psych!student is jumping out at me right now like it just makes so much sense ?? also if you do become a therapist, i can picture him being so supportive of you. for example if you have a hard day at work he’ll do everything he can to cheer you up and make you feel good about yourself 🥹 the same sort of thing applies to you being a perfectionist, like i can picture lando being very grounding ?? he’s always there to remind you that you don’t have to be perfect all the time and he loves you for you, imperfections and all
— first of all can i say your pet names are incredible (bartolomeu the cannible >>). we’ve all seen the videos of lando getting (mildly) abused by animals, and your pets are no exception !! 😃 he’d (unwittingly) instigate it by running away from them so they think it’s a game and then end up chasing him around the house 😭 but he loves them really <3
— i feel like with lando there’s two ways he can go with a relationship: either he’ll go for someone who’s calm and a bit more stoic to level him out, or someone who is just pure chaos like him. this is definitely a case of the latter 😅 you two are literally the ultimate chaotic duo, you wreck havoc around the paddock. like the kind of chaos where you share a braincell and do the dumbest shit ever but it’s so iconic 😭 that’s very much the vibe with lando
— i’ll make this a bit shorter because i’m getting carried away 🥴 but with music, lando definitely asks for your opinion on what to include in his setlist when he dj’s. he values your input above all else. also, i think he’d be a good influence on you in terms of helping you feel calmer when you meet new people. in the same way that he helps you with your perfectionism, i can picture him being very grounding reminding you that you don’t have to be nervous, or that he’s sure whoever it is you’re meeting will love you just as much as he does 🥹 he always wants you to feel as good about yourself as possible
— AND FINALLY he definitely becomes besties with your brother. i’ll be taking no criticism for this, lando is the type of guy to be best friends with his s/o’s brother. like at first i think your brother might be a bit wary, but lando eventually breaks down all those barriers and they become inseparable (to the point that you sometimes feel like the third wheel 😭) also !! we know lando’s not very adventurous with his food, but i think he’ll always try something if you say you like it (like spicy food): however, neither of you can cook, so the kitchen when you try to cook together is absolute chaos (kind of like you guys in general 😭)
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speltfields · 10 months
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NO WAAAYYY YOUR NEW WIP 😭😭😭😭 YOURE TRYING TO KILL US !!!!!
and about music he listens to it's so hard for me to decide some genre i've listened to all the shane playlists on spotify and i can't decide
what about you????
-🫶 anon
ok so first off to my non stardew followars (sorry) im gonna start tagging everything with #sdv posting so u can blaclklist. love u
answer under the readmore to save u all from the harmful psychic rays of my thoughts
i habe been thinking about the answer to this question for SOOOO LONGGGGG because i feel this has layers like here's all the different factors I have to consider
[and willfully ignore because hes my wet pathetic doll i can do whatever i want with]
1. stardew takes place in like the 80's yeah? 🤔🤔🤔 i ignore this one most of the time. giving them cellphones is funny. its the 2020s they all just have bad cell service and dial up still
2. emilys 8 heart event shane dresses like a punk. Dude gives off "i wanted to be a goth in middle school but couldnt afford tripp pants from the mall but now im an adult and too lazy to try" vibes. maybe his music taste reflects this
3. Umm he's "old" Lol (affectionate) I see him like late 30's early 40's...
4. But is he like COOL old or THINKS hes cool old (important distinction you have surely been around both types of men before and know the difference)
these are all of the factors i have to consider when choosing what music he would listen to.. the like "game takes place during the 80s" thing is the rule i play fast and loose. I only care about it if its funny contextually. usually its funnier if its not the case. Anyways onto the actual headcanons
I think shane would have pretty bad taste in music but once u are friends with him he's open to listening to new stuff and if you show him something new he hadn't heard before he'd say "Huh you're kind of weird aren't you 😏" making fun of you for it but secretly he'd think it was good/ he is def open to listening to new stuff. He secretly does like old school country as well. Noone knows this. You discover john denver/johnny cash cds buried under his bed (he listens to them to feel cool)
I think he would believe he had an eccentric music taste but then you'd go through his collection and its like... weezer. rhcp. maybe some metal. and ur like. This is Dad Rock Radio Tier and he'd be like "WHAT green day isnt dad rock" (i dont believe this yet but id say it to him anyway to make him mad. you understand)
you'd show him some shit like roswell kid and he'd go crazy for it even though its kinda cheesy. also he's randomly into stuff like aphex twin too.
I feel compelled to make him listen to the music i like but i know that that's wishful thinking. he's a dork that's why i like him. i might have to compound on this later when my brain works better (it takes me several weeks to form a single creative thought)
I haven't listened to any shane spotify playlists maybe i should... i do have my own playlist of songs that REMIND me of him but not necessarily stuff i think he'd listen to. I'm too embarrassed to post this 😈
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