#I love soft zev but when he’s angry and fierce | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clarosowrites · 5 years

Text

The Gauntlet, Pt 2

Part 1 is here

I’m really unsatisfied with how this turned out, but its done, so whatever.

Back at camp, Zevran slung a towel over his shoulder. The fighting today was fierce, and although Wynne had healed his cuts and bruises, his muscles still ached. A quick soak would help him relax. Another thought occurred to him and he grabbed his flask as well. He started to leave, intent on leaving the day behind him.

"Zevran!" Lelianna's accented voice stopped him in his tracks.

He groaned. Before he could do anything else, the red head ran up, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him towards her tent.

"Mi carina, this is really rather sudden," He said, frowning. Braska, her grip was tight. "I am flattered, but I am unfortunately--" She pushed him, forcing him to stumble face first into the tent. "--taken. Ah."

Alistair and Wynne were inside. Lelianna crawled in behind him, forcing him to sit pressed into Alistair to make room. They all looked cramped and very serious.

"So, no seduction, then." At the glares he recieved, he sighed. "Pity."

"Look," Alistair started. "Me and Lelianna were talking about Clara...about what happened today."

Zevran frowned. "Oh? And here I thought I left the gossiping fishwives in Antiva."

"We are not gossiping!" Lelianna exclaimed. "We want to help her, but she refuses to talk to either of us."

"Probably for good reason." He muttered.

"We don't know what to do next, but we have to do something!"

"Wynne..." Alistair hesitated. "Was she really...does she have a child?"

The mage huffed. "This is ridiculous. I refuse to go behind Clara's back. If she wants you to know, she can tell you herself."

"She's hurting! She's barely spoken to anyone since the temple!" Lelianna exclaimed.

"That is her choice. Not everyone will act the way you want them to react."

"I'm not saying that!"

Alistair spoke over her. "How did she deal with all this before? Was she like this?"

"Yes." Wynne paused. "She was quiet, only speaking to Jowan for months. We let her be, let her heal at her own pace. She came around eventually."

"You didn't see her today at the temple. She was crying. I've never seen her like that."

"Maybe she didn't heal at all." Lelianna said. "The vision said--"

"Oh, so now we're taking advice from spirits. Fantastic." Zevran rolled his eyes.

"Yes, maybe we should listen to the spirit who could read minds."

"Whatever the thing in the temple was," Alistair interrupted. "This isn't healthy. She helped me after Duncan died. We have to do the same for her."

"You know that they take children away from mages, Alistair." Wynne said angrily. "That is not even remotely the same."

"I know its not, I just--she's our friend. We owe it to her to help."

"Maybe. Or maybe she is owed her privacy." She stood and lifted the tent flap. "I want no part of this awful meddling. Goodnight."

A tense silence fell over the group. Absurdly, Zevran found himself wishing for the Crows. No one gossiped or worried about feelings. No one had friends, just fellow assassins.

Alistair turned to him. "Zev, I think you should talk to her."

He crossed his arms. "You know, I haven't exactly had the best day either." He had fought a dragon today and been questioned about Rinna. He was tired and dirty and needed a drink.

"So? Clara needs a friend right now."

"And after all that talk of not deserving her, now you think I'm the best person? Why don't you go and be a 'friend'?"

"Maker, will you get over yourself? Don't you care about her? Aren't you her friend? She's defended you and helped you when you needed it! I don't give a shit if you're uncomfortable with this, she needs help!" He took a deep breath and continued quietly. "Now I don't trust your intentions with her, but like it or not, she won't talk to me right not. All I'm asking is that you try."

Zevran rubbed his forehead and sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you." Lelianna said earnestly, grasping his hand.

He brushed it off, exiting the tent quickly. Crossing the camp, he tried to force down the irritation bubbling in his chest. He ducked down into the tent he and Clara shared.

When he saw his lover, red-eyed and frowning, any festering feelings disappeared. He forced a smile.

"My lovely Warden, I was just leaving for a late night bath. Care to join me?"

She continued to unpack her bag, refusing to look up at him. "Not tonight, Zev."

"Ah," he caught her hand and kissed it. "You disappoint me terribly. I shall be ever so lonely."

"You'll survive." She said flatly. Zevran caught a faint curve of her lips and pressed on.

"But the stream near camp is so cold." He pouted. "I was hoping..."

She chuckled. "Really? Using me for my magic, now?"

"Well, I'm sure I can think of some way to repay you." He pulled her closer and smiled. When she leaned into him, forehead against his, a warmth spread in his chest.

"Hmm, alright."

They gathered their supplies and walked out to the stream. Zevran talked the whole way there. He wasn't even sure about what, just nonsense to keep her distracted. When they finally sank into the water--only after Clara heated it--he fell silent. He didn't know how to start. How do you ask about something so private? So painful?

Clara ducked under the water with a splash, interrupting his thoughts. She surfaced and began lathering herself with soap. He was suddenly struck by her beauty. Her blonde hair clung to her cheeks, darkened by the water. It's grown past her ears and needed cutting, but her messy locks framed her face perfectly. The sun had freckled her face and shoulders. Sinewy muscle rippled across her back, down the length of her long legs. He usually liked the curvier women, with bosom to spare and soft, curved stomachs. But Clara was skinny, taller than he was, and muscled. It excited him, in a completely new and unexpected way. He caught himself and forced his attention elsewhere. Picking up his soap, he started scrubbing off all the dirt and dried blood coating his skin. There was a lot, and for a while it was quiet except for the splashing of the river.

When they were both done, Clara leaned back against the riverbank and sighed. "Thank you, Zev. I needed this."

"Of course." He swam closer. "If you...if there is anything else you need, or desire, my Warden, you only have to ask." Steam rose from the water, obscuring her face. She did not answer. "I don't mean to pry," he said quickly, "I thought--perhaps you'd like to talk about it?" When she didn't respond, he winced. "I'm sorry, I--" A hand grasped his under the water. "No, it's fine. I just--" She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "I've never talked about it." A long silence. "Never?" She shook her head. "Not even with Jowan. It was too much. In the Circle..." She paused. "Extreme emotion isn't exactly encouraged. We're taught it will attract demons. Whenever a mage is angry, or sad, or anything other than happy, the templars take more notice of you. One might follow you around. If it keeps happening, a senior enchanter has a talk with you. Not about the actual problem, of course. No, they'd remind you how good we had it in the Circle, how you shouldn't act up or you'd ruin it for the rest of them. I've gotten that talk a few times. "So, if you have a problem, you just ignore it. Fake a smile and move on. But that's so stupid." Her breathing was uneven. Zevran could feel her hand shaking. "But now, I don't have to. I can be angry and everyone will just let me." "You can feel however you want, mi amor. And you don't have to tell me if you don't wish to." "I think I want to." She was squeezing his hand so hard it hurt. He pulled her into his lap, wrapping an arm around her waist. Because of her height, it was an awkward fit, but she didn't seem to notice. "I got pregnant. At seventeen." She squeezed her eyes shut. Underneath his hands, she tensed. "When I found out, I was--it was the worst day of my life. Everyone found out almost instantly. The--" She laughed wetly. "the morning sickness was pretty much impossible to hide." "The father?" Zevran asked quietly. "I thought I was in love with him. He was...my first kiss, my first everything. I never named him, and made him believe it was someone else's. No sense in him getting in trouble too." "I had no friends after that, except for Jowan. Not that I cared. I don't think I talked to anyone else during my pregnancy." She paused, sniffling. "I thought about...the Circle had the herbs to, get rid of it. But I couldn't. Even knowing what would happen." He tighten his grip on her. "I didn't even get to hold him." Clara whispered. He could feel her tears running onto his neck and shoulder. She shook in his arm and all Zevran could do was hold on.

#zevran #warden #female warden #warden amell #warden x zevran #zevran x warden #dragon age #origins #dragon age origins #dao

10 notes · View notes