#I like to test my limits and write about contrasting ideas from my own
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The seductive, science fictional power of spreadsheets
Tomorrow (Apr 30) at 2PM, I’ll be at the San Francisco Public Library with my new book, Red Team Blues, hosted by Annalee Newitz.
This week, John Scalzi was kind enough to let me write a guest-editorial for his Whatever blog about the themes in my new crime technothriller, Red Team Blues; specifically, about the ways that spreadsheets embody the power and the pitfalls of science fiction at its best and worst:
https://whatever.scalzi.com/2023/04/26/the-big-idea-cory-doctorow-2/
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/29/gedankenexperimentwahn/#high-on-your-own-supply
Yes, spreadsheets. Marty Hench (the protagonist of Red Team Blues) is a 67-year-old forensic accountant who specializes in unwinding Silicon Valley financial frauds, a field he basically invented 40 years ago, when, as a PC-struck MIT dropout, he moved from Cambridge to San Francisco to recover the stolen millions hidden in spreadsheets.
Working through this book — and its two sequels, which travel back in time to the 1980s and Marty’s first encounters with VisiCalc and Lotus 1–2–3 — I was struck by the similarities between spreadsheets and science fiction.
While many people use spreadsheets as an overgrown calculator, adding up long columns of numbers, the rise and rise of spreadsheets comes from their use in modeling. Using a spreadsheet, a complex process can be expressed as a series of mathematical operations: we put these inputs into the factory and we get these finished goods. Once the model is built, we can easily test out contrafactuals: what if I add a third shift? What if I bargain harder for discounts on a key component? If I give my workers a productivity-increasing raise, will the profits make up for the costs?
These are the questions that anyone managing a complex system asks themselves all the time. Historically, the answers have sprung from intuition, from fingerspitzengefühl — the “fingertip feeling” of how a system’s components work and what their potential and limitations are. But intuition can calcify, become a rigid set of rules that increasingly diverge from the best strategy.
By contrast, spreadsheets yield a set of crisp, instantly tallied answers to any question you put to them. Change the input and watch as that change ripples through the whole system in an eyeblink. If you’re adding three more people to your camping trip, will the amount of additional water require renting another vehicle? No need to guess: just check and see.
This has a lot in common with science fiction, a genre full of thought experiments that ask Heinlein’s famous three questions:
What if?
If only, and
If this goes on…
These contrafactuals are incredibly useful and important. As critical tools, science fiction’s parables about the future are the best chance we have for resisting the inevitabilism that insists that technology must be used in a certain way, or must exist at all. Science fiction doesn’t just interrogate what the gadget does, but who it does it for and who it does it to:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/20/love-the-machine/#hate-the-factory
One of science fiction’s key methods comes from sf grandmaster Theodore Sturgeon: “ask the next question.” Ask a question, then ask “what happens next?” Do it again, and again, and again:
https://christopher-mckitterick.com/Sturgeon-Campbell/Sturgeon-Q.htm
This technique produces excellent, critical ways of interrogating technological narratives — check out this delightful example of the possible pipeline from self-driving cars to ransomware gangs to mutual aid societies to the reinvention of the train:
https://dduane.tumblr.com/post/715940904747352064/you-can-make-your-mercedes-ev-go-faster-for-60-a
The commonalities between sf and spreadsheets don’t stop there — sf and spreadsheets share pitfalls, too. A spreadsheet is a model and a model is not the thing it models. The map is not the territory. Every time a messy, real-world process is converted to a crisp, mathematical operation, some important qualitative element is lost.
Modeling is an intrinsically lossy operation. That’s why “all models are wrong, but some models are useful.” There is no process so simple that it can be losslessly converted to a model. Even the actions of the nanoscale transistors in a microchip, which toggle between “0” and “1,” are rarely in a state of “no voltage” and “voltage.” That clean, square-wave line that’s used to describe what happens in a chip is a lie — that is to say, it is a model.
The wave isn’t square, it’s a squiggly line that hovers around zero and around one. Under normal circumstances, “zero” and “zero-ish” is a distinction without a difference. But when computers go wrong, it’s sometimes because a sufficiently ambiguous “zero-ish” acts like a “one.” That’s true all the way up the stack. On engineering diagrams, the nanoscale lines that electrons travel along inside a chip are represented as sharp paths, the kind of thing a Tron-cycle would lay down. But in the real world, we get all kinds of weird effects at that scale — electrons sometimes tunnel through those lines, performing a spooky quantum trick that reminds us that Newtononian physics are also just a model.
Every real-world phenomenon contains qualitative and quantitative elements, but computers can only do math on the quantitative parts. This creates a powerful temptation to incinerate the qualitative and perform operations on whatever dubious quantitative residue is left in the crucible, often with disastrous results.
Remember during lockdown, when a pair of University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign physicists produced a model of covid spread that predicted that the campus could safely reopen, predicting no more than 500 cases over the entire semester and no more than 100 cases at any one time? The physicists were openly contemptuous of their epidemiologist peers, saying that this kind of model making lacked the “intellectual thrill” of real science.
UI was so swayed by the crisp, precise model that they invited students back to campus — only to shut down again in a matter of weeks, with 780 active cases on campus and more rolling in every day.
The model reduced qualitative factors — like the propensity of undergrads to get drunk, take off their masks, and lick each others’ eyeballs — to a quantitative probability, using the highly precise, scientific technique of taking a wild-ass guess. That guess was wrong. The campus reopening was a super-spreader event.
Any model runs the risk of hiding the irreducible complexity of qualitative factors behind a formula, turning uncertainty into certainty and humility into arrogance.
Think of how we replaced contact tracing with exposure notification. Contact tracing has a qualitative foundation: public health workers establish rapport with infected people, win their trust, and get them to fully enumerate the places they’ve been and the activities they participated in.
By contrast, exposure notification measures whether two Bluetooth radios were within range of each other for a predetermined interval. It substitutes signal strength for a person’s own understanding of their experience. Now, people can be wrong about their own experience — we lose track of time, we misremember emotionally charged events, and so on — but that doesn’t mean we can substitute Bluetooth measurements for personal experience.
That’s why, despite all the clever privacy-preserving math and interesting analysis, exposure notification was a bust, something between a distraction and a false-confidence-generating disaster. Contact tracing ended the 2014 ebola outbreak. Exposure notification just wasted a lot of time:
https://locusmag.com/2021/05/cory-doctorow-qualia/
It’s just too easy to forget which parts of a model are based on guesses and which parts are based on ground truth. And even if you can keep track of those differences, it’s even harder to re-check the model’s ground truth to determine whether the underlying factors have changed. That’s how we got into so much trouble with collateralized debt obligations, which were supposed to be “risk-free” mortgage derivatives that could be safely insured and invested in.
The formulas behind CDO hedging were designed by some of the world’s smartest mathematicians and physicists, who simply assumed that market actors — from loan-originating bank officers to insurance underwriters — would act in reliable, predictable ways. They were so very wrong that they brought the world economy to the brink of ruin:
https://www.wired.com/2009/02/wp-quant/
This is also science fiction’s failure-mode: any science fictional “ask-the-next-question” exercise represents a series of guesses or speculations or maybe possibilities — but when you combine that guesswork with the deceptive certainty that comes from inhabiting a cracking story, it’s easy to mistake “guessing” for “prediction.”
Prediction is hard, especially about the future. The assumptions that go into a prediction are always incomplete, not least because human beings have free will and agency and can change the circumstances that go into the assumptions. The very best science fiction embodies this principle. I’m thinking here of the likes of Ada Palmer, an historian and sf writer whose deep historical knowledge informs her sf and her pedagogy at the University of Chicago:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/10/monopoly-begets-monopoly/#terra-ignota
Palmer is famous — even notorious — for her annual four-week undergraduate LARP in which students re-enact the election of the Medicis’ Pope. It’s four weeks of alliances, betrayal and skullduggery by the students, each of whom is enacting the agenda of a real-world Cardinal or other power-broker.
The final investiture is done in full costume at the university’s massive faux-gothic cathedral, and going into that climax, of the four candidates, two are always the same, because the great forces of history are bearing down on that moment to ensure that the champions of the two dominant power-blocs are in the running. But the other two? They’re never the same — because the agency of the actors jockeying for power change the outcome, every single time, in absolutely unpredictable ways.
Like any other model, sf is wrong, but sometimes useful. Thinking about jetpacks and flying cars is “useful” insofar as it gets us to interrogate how we think about cities, about mobility, about privilege and geography. But it’s not a prediction. Worse, the endless tales in which flying cars are presented a fait accompli is a gift to grifters raising money for the objectively stupid idea of flying cars. After all, we all know flying cars are inevitable, so it’s basically a risk-free investment, right? With flying cars just around the corner, wouldn’t it be irresponsible to build a city with mass-transit instead of helipads?
There’s a whole range of thought-experiments that got transformed into predictions and then certainties: self-driving cars, “general artificial intelligence,” infinite life-extension, space colonization, faster-than-light travel, cryptocurrency, etc etc.
Spreadsheets don’t just lead their users astray — they also trick their creators. The very same people who transform wild-assed guesses about hairy, unknowable outcomes into neat mathematical relationships are perfectly capable of acting as if those relationships are based on fact, rather than supposition. The Great Financial Crisis wasn’t just about people who didn’t understand the uncertainty in the hedging algorithm going all-in — the people who made those models were also fooled by them.
It’s very easy to get high on your own supply. I’ll never forget the sf convention panel I was on with Robert Silverberg about sf’s supposed predictive value, where the subject of Robert A Heinlein came up, and Silverberg sniffed, and, in that trademark bone-dry way of his, said, “Ah yes, ‘Robert A Timeline.’”
Sf isn’t just full of writers who mistake their suppositions for predictions — the canon is full of tales in which brilliant people can and do predict the future, with near-perfection. Think of Hari Seldon, the hero of Asimov’s Foundation series, who is able to forecast the future several millennia out. Or Heinlein’s first-ever story, “Life-Line,” in which a genius inventor destroys the insurance industry by creating a computer that can predict your exact date of death using statistical methods.
There’s something wild about this phenomenon, in which writers make stuff up and then assume that anything that cool must also be accurate. One tantalizing explanation for this comes from EL Doctorow’s (no relation) essay “Genesis,” from his 2007 collection “The Creationists”:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/41520/creationists-by-e-l-doctorow/
Doctorow tells the history of the Genesis story, which the Hebrews plagiarized from the Babylonians. In Doctorow’s telling, the Babylonian mystics who made up the Genesis story assumed that it had to be true, because they considered themselves to be nowhere near imaginative enough to have come up with something as great as Genesis. An idea that amazing had to be divinely inspired.
I like this because it’s a story of being led astray by humility, rather than hubris.
Imaginative exercises — whether or not they are assisted by mathematical models and self-updating digital spreadsheets — are powerful tools for thinking about the future we want, and to guide our attempts to make that future come true. All models are wrong but some models are useful, of course!
I’m on tour with Red Team Blues right now — I’m writing this post while waiting for my flight to San Francisco, where I’m appearing at the public library with Annalee Newitz tomorrow (4/30) at 2PM:
https://sfpl.org/events/2023/04/30/author-cory-doctorow-and-annalee-newitz-conversation-red-team-blues
One especially fun stop on this tour will be on May 5, at the Books, Inc in Mountain View, where I’ll be talking about the book with Mitch Kapor, the creator of Lotus 1–2–3, who knows a thing or two about spreadsheets:
https://www.booksinc.net/event/cory-doctorow-books-inc-mountain-view
The tour is bringing me to Berkeley, Vancouver, Calgary, DC, Gaithersburg, Toronto, PDX, Nottingham, Hay, London, Manchester, Edinburgh and Berlin — I hope to see you!
https://craphound.com/novels/redteamblues/2023/04/26/the-red-team-blues-tour-burbank-sf-pdx-berkeley-yvr-edmonton-gaithersburg-dc-toronto-hay-oxford-nottingham-manchester-london-edinburgh-london-berlin/
Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Mountain View, Berkeley, San Francisco, Portland, Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!
[Image ID: A Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheet with green-on-black, low-res type; its center has an irregular vignette revealing a space station.]
#pluralistic#el doctorow#parables#gedankenexperiments#contrafactuals#qualitative factors#quantization#collateralized debt obligations#cdos#science fiction#false precision#great financial crisis#models#spreadsheets#red team blues#the map is not the territory#warnings#prediction#fingerspitzengefühl
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BONES HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WRITE SO FAST. I WAS OFF THE INTERNET FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS AND THERE'S 3 WHOLE NEW CHAPTERS TOTAL WHAT THE FUCK /nsrs
ooh we've reached the twist part of the kimi no na wa plot can't wait to see how tommy's going to react to this /lh
i love all the little mentions of their character quirks like tommy's texting style and wilbur setting self-care reminders for tommy. i love all the differences in how wilbur and tommy talk and carry themselves and how those little things make it so clear whenever they're bodyswapped. i love tommy's narration about him getting attached to wilbur and his family and living a life that wasn't his own. jhgkdf it's all so <3
and glass divine!! bones you've done it again. how do i keep falling in love with all your wilburs, they're all so delightfully complex and very very fucked up /pos
before the escape attempt there's this whole contrast between the pythia's outwardly bitchy attitude and his inner desperation for clara's guidance and also for the deathlings to just do something about him already. which is entirely fair considering he doesn't even know what they want with him or what their limits are. being bitchy is his only way to both oppose them and to test those limits himself.
(i've read enough sbi adoption fics to recognize that just-get-it-over-with-and-hurt-me sentiment. it's typical fanfic wilbur behavior lmao)
also i love how wilbur's immediate concern after the escape attempt was that he's failed clara. as in he thinks clara wanted to him to escape and that he's failed her by not escaping. wilbur your life and your decisions don't belong entirely to clara wilbur please—
oh glass!wilbur. this bad boy can fit so much fucking guilt and frustration in him <3
the newest chapter has so many banger lines too!! 'Waiting for Clara to grant him Her Guidance once more, even though he didn’t deserve it.' 'At the very least, the tears might wash off some of the dirt on him.' 'If I were to refuse Her calling, it’d be as if I was refusing the reason I breathe.'
i just. i. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfuck
and then there's the final lines of the chapter:
[“Okay,” he murmured, nodding to himself. “I think I get it now.”
The Pythia wasn’t sure why, but he got the strangest feeling Tommy didn’t understand what he meant at all.]
pythia: yeah my sole purpose is to carry out my goddess's will and nothing else
tommy, internally: Now We Don't Have Time To Unpack All Of That
LMAO I'm in a very weird life situation rn but it's giving me a lot of time to write so I'm not that upset about it. hence why you're getting so many chapters from me in such a short span of time.
aw thank you!! yeah strings is very interesting for me to write because I have to come up with creative ways for the two to interact and bond, and also show what characteristics carry over even when they're switched. also this wasn't really explored in the movie, but I always got the sense that taki (the tommy equivalent for those who have never seen it) really bonded with mitsuha (the wilbur equivalent)'s family because of his own distant relationship with his father. I thought that worked really well for tommy and wanted to explore that side of things, which makes for some really bittersweet narration on tommy's end.
i'm so glad you're enjoying glass divine too!! glass!wilbur is SUCH a mess i love him so much. writing complex versions of wilbur is one of my favorite things lol he's such a fun character to play around with
before the escape attempt wilbur was completely at a loss for what to do. he felt like he failed his goddess and wasn't getting any guidance for her, and he was in an extremely stressful situation, so he was lashing out in any way he could to try and find some control of the situation. he has no idea what their plans for him are or where their limits are, so he just has to keep testing them until he hits a wall.
of course his first thoughts after being caught are that he failed clara. she's the only reason he went so far in his escape attempt. if he hadn't had a vision of attacking tommy, he would never have had the nerve to go that far with it.
LMAO thats literally the last lines. tommy is just like "now we can't unpack all of that right now" because that is just a Lot to process.
I'm so glad you're enjoying so far!! love hearing peoples thoughts as always!!
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writing divine lies, I've decided that it will only be one long post with the whole story. I may write a prequel or a mini sequel if it receives the intended interest.
#there will also be more warnings just fyi#I feel a little messed up writing it tbh#but really one of my best works#I like to test my limits and write about contrasting ideas from my own#but like#it still makes me feel weird lmao
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Any Tikki/Plagg salt?
So I'm taking this to mean you are asking if I have salt about Tikki and Plagg.
Here's the main central issue: Why are the kwamis even necessary? I mean this narratively. What purpose do they serve to the story that couldn't be accomplished without them?
When I was originally introduced to the show and the concept behind it, I thought Plagg and Tikki were going to be the Wise Mentors/Wise Animal Mentors for the heroes. The ones who offer the "moral of the story", give advice to their respective chosen, and...y'know...train them. Prepare them. Give them some lore and history of how things worked for them in the past as well as info on what they are, what their powers are, and what they're up against.
We got a little of that with Tikki offering lessons and advice, but the advice is minimal and comes few and far between for what should be warranted by the situations they face. Tikki had no problem with judging and admonishing Marinette for things, but Tikki has done very little to actually help guide Marinette on the "right" decisions she seems to want Marinette to take. She did reprimand Marinette for selfish use of her Lucky Charm in Bubbler and trying to help Juleka in a dishonest way in Reflekta, but she didn't really come up with other options for her or offer any real advice or input other than telling Marinette that she disapproves.
With Plagg, we didn't get that at all. Sure, he's made catty comments on Adrien's behavior such as in Copycat and Desperada, but since Adrien "is perfect" and thus never needs to learn a lesson, Plagg never needs to be the mouthpiece for the episode's moral. This also cements Plagg as the lazy and "fun" kwami in contrast to Tikki—which would work if we had more consistent interaction between the two to highlight that comparison.
The only purpose the kwamis seem to have is to 1) be the cute mascot characters for the series and 2) have someone for Marinette and Adrien to talk to and play off of—the second of which is specifically notable in the case of Plagg, who is ultimately the only thing about any of Adrien's scenes when he's not Chat Noir that makes them entertaining or interesting to watch.
This is especially noteworthy as the writers clearly struggle with the "show, don't tell" philosophy of writing, and the kwamis are prime tools to try to get around that little issue without putting in any actual effort because Miraculous has all the subtlety of a brick to the face. Why SHOW the Main Duo falling in love over time through their interactions and slowly growing closeness and relationship building among all four sides of the love square that is touted as the main draw of the series in the first place...when they can just have the two be cringingly awkward around one another and chuck in a magical plot device I mean mouthpiece I mean kwami for the heroes to expound on their "unrequited love" to?
Also, much like many things in this series, everything about the kwamis from their powers to their natures to their personalities are contradictory and confusing. For all powerful beings who serve as the focus of the plot as well as the plot device around which the series is supposed to revolve, they are demoted both narratively and in the story itself.
If they HAVE any personality, it's that of children. Children who don't understand the world, don't understand people, don't actually actually embody the concepts of which they are supposed to be centered around, and quite frankly don't seem to have any business having the level of power they seem to have given the complete lack of control they display they actually have over it. These ancient beings—OLDER than the universe, who should at least have SOME idea of how their own powers work or at least what the leaking from people's eyes means but honestly come off as the biggest threat to everyone around them through sheer callousness and ignorance.
It's the same issue with Adrien that if this individual is supposed to be the moral mouthpiece for the writers, one would think they would have more maturity, especially as ancient all powerful beings that they are who predate humanity. It could be argued that it's a result of them being trapped in the Miracle Box for so long, but that still doesn't account for all the time they existed BEFORE being put in the Box or the times they were taken out and used after it was made. Nor does it account for why they all seem to have a childish mob mentality.
It'd make sense if their childishness served a purpose in a narrative sense—like haivng them actually learn about the world and get some growth of their own, but that doesn't happen. And if two or more kamis appear on screen together, they seem to revert to the same personality.
As it stands, all of this really countermines the idea that the kwamis are supposed to be the guides or go-to figures for morals and lessons for our main heroes or even the temporary heroes. It'd be one thing if their morals were just "different" due to being active at different ages and time frames. That would explain some discrepancy. But the writers don't use that and all the kwamis pretty much act the same.
Then comes the OTHER narrative issue that as soon as Fu and the Order of the Guardians officially enter the picture, the idea of kwamis being guides or mentors for the heroes is made completely moot. And it says something when a guy who never completed the test to become a true Guardian and whom was ultimately responsible for the entire Order being destroyed made for a better mentor figure than the kwamis whose power is supposed to be running the show.
It would be one thing if it ultimately became a sort of reversal where Marinette's time with the kwamis makes her reevaluate their roles and look at Tikki in a new way as someone who ISN'T perfect and who CAN be wrong. But the show still has Marinette looking to Tikki for answers in a way that gives me the same impression as if she was looking for life guidance from Manon.
Other than giving credence to the "5 minute time limit" and some "missing kwami/can't transform" shenanigans, removing the kwamis really wouldn't lose anything narratively from the show.
...well, other than what entertainment there can be had from Adrien's scenes secondary to Plagg's involvement in them.
So, tl;dr, my biggest salt about the kwamis boils down to:
They have little purpose narratively.
Anything they could do is devalued by the presence of others that perform their roles and explain or use their abilities better than they can.
For ancient beings with immense lore and involvement in history, they don't do much to expand on that.
For moral mouthpieces, they don't do much to actually HELP their holders.
In and of themselves, they are used by the writers in such a way that they end up limiting the ability of the narrative to tell a good story instead of adding it.
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I know you've gotten anons about the YMBQ prophecy recently but I was wondering in what context could it be obvious for the reader that Daenerys is the YMBQ if Cersei is most likely to die or leave KL once Aegon arrives and not Daenerys. Even if Daenerys takes KL later on wouldn't he technically be the one to take all she holds dear (her power as regent)?
First of all, Anon, I think it’s interesting that you say that Young Griff (rather than Arianne) would take all that Cersei holds dear in this hypothetical scenario (that most people assume will come to pass). asoiaf tumblr fandom loved (loves?) to take for granted that Arianne would be YMBQ (after all, it was/is taken for granted that she would marry Young Griff and become his queen consort) years ago. At the same time, though, I’m not sure if you’re implying that Young Griff might actually be the one to fulfill the YMB(Q) prophecy in this ask. I actually saw this theory before. So I’m going to make counterarguments to this theory first and then address your question about how and when Dany might be revealed as the YMBQ (and if that’s what you were specifically looking for, just skip to the end, though you might be disappointed by the fact that I'm not really providing definitive answers because I have a lot of doubts myself).
In a way, it makes more sense for Young Griff to fulfill the prophecy rather than Arianne. Let’s remember what Cersei wants the most, which is shown in the beginning of her very first chapter:
She dreamt she sat the Iron Throne, high above them all. (AFFC Cersei I)
Unfortunately for Cersei, she can’t ever actually sit the Iron Throne, which is pointed out several times:
Cersei shifted in her seat as he went on, wondering how long she must endure his hectoring. Behind her loomed the Iron Throne, its barbs and blades throwing twisted shadows across the floor. Only the king or his Hand could sit upon the throne itself. Cersei sat by its foot, in a seat of gilded wood piled with crimson cushions. (AFFC Cersei V)
~
Seated on her gold-and-crimson high seat beneath the Iron Throne, Cersei could feel a growing tightness in her neck. (AFFC Cersei VII)
~
Cersei sat beneath the Iron Throne, clad in green silk and golden lace. (AFFC Cersei X)
As the first quote states, only the king or the Hand can sit the Iron Throne, which is what Cersei wants the most, since, to her, it symbolizes almost unlimited power ("high above them all"). Indeed, I would argue that what Cersei holds dear is the chance to reign supreme (“The rule was hers; Cersei did not mean to give it up until Tommen came of age. [...] If Margaery Tyrell thinks to cheat me of my hour in the sun, she had bloody well think again.”), not “her power as regent” (as you put it), which is limited by nature. After all, the king’s wife and mother can’t sit the Iron Throne. This means three things to me:
Queen consorts like Margaery or Arianne (if she actually marries Young Griff, which is far from certain) can’t take all that Cersei holds dear.
Queens claiming power in their own right but who have no claim to the Iron Throne are excluded too. In other words, Asha or QitN!Sansa (another fan theory that’s far from certain and that’s accepted as future canon) can’t take all that Cersei holds dear.
Only a she-king (that is, a queen regnant) with a claim to the Iron Throne can take all that Cersei holds dear - that’s Dany.
But then, we have Young Griff. He is a king with a claim to the Iron Throne, so he could, in theory, take what Cersei holds dear and fulfill the prophecy. However, I find that very unlikely for a number of reasons:
GRRM doesn’t highlight men’s physical appearances or objectify them in the same way that he does with women, as a lot of people have already criticized him for. He makes a point of mentioning women’s accomplishments along with overpraise for their physical appearances (though one might be generous and chalk that up to social commentary about how their society objectifies women instead of giving them their due praise for what they do). He encourages his fans to speculate about who is the YMB(Q) and pit his female characters against each other based on their physical appearances (e.g., people have criticized how Sansa stans often mention the number of times the word “beautiful” appears in Sansa’s chapters to back up their belief that she’s the YMB(Q), but the way GRRM himself wrote the prophecy lends itself to this sort of analysis) because he uses certain tropes uncritically. He portrays fat women negatively in comparison to thin women (see: Cersei (who’s said to be gaining weight throughout AFFC as she becomes more unstable) vs Dany, Lysa vs Cat, Barba Bracken vs Melissa Blackwood, arguably Rhaenyra vs Alicent). He takes an almost voyeuristic pleasure in describing women’s bodies and women having sex with women (see how Dany and Irri’s or Cersei and Taena’s sexual encounters don’t give any depth to Dany’s, Irri’s and Taena’s characters and, as far as I can tell, are mostly written to fetishize them). Consider, for instance, how 13- to 16-year-old Dany is the most sexualized character of the book series, while I’m not even sure if her male counterpart Jon is supposed to be considered attractive or not (on the one hand, he’s attracted women like Ygritte and Val; on the other hand, he’s meant to look a lot like Ned, who’s regarded as plain in appearance, especially in comparison to the hot-blooded Brandon). All of this is to say that I doubt that a man will fulfill a prophecy that remarks upon the person’s physical appearance (“younger and more beautiful”). Considering GRRM’s writing problems, a woman is much more likely to do so.
Young Griff is supposed to represent a lesser version of Dany (note that I’m talking about Young Griff as a fictional character, not as a person). After all, unlike Dany, Young Griff didn’t get to have lived experience of poverty, he didn’t get to have his skills tested, he didn’t get to apply the lessons he learned along the way, he didn’t get to take action and make mistakes and gain valuable experience and wisdom, he didn’t get to choose to stay in Slaver’s Bay solely to help marginalized people who aren’t connected to him by neither blood nor lands (which would emphasize how he doesn’t view his birthright merely as something owed to him, but rather as a means to “protect the ones who can’t protect themselves”). He could have had this sort of character development if GRRM wanted him to, but he has a different role in the narrative: he’s a tertiary character who we’re not meant to know all that much as a person or about how he would fare as king because he serves as a foil to Dany. With all of that in mind, what would be the point of having this minor character, who was introduced in the fifth book of a seven-book series, fulfill this prophecy rather than the one protagonist who the author said was deliberately written as Cersei’s foil multiple times (more on that below)?
Which brings me to a point that @rainhadaenerys made in our upcoming Dany/Cersei meta... Cersei views women with contempt because she thinks that they can only attain political influence with “tears” and with what’s “between [their] legs” (as she tells Sansa). This informs why, for example, she projects the unfounded idea that a widow must have lovers on Margaery or why she herself uses money and sex to keep her men loyal (which ultimately backfires on her). Unfortunately, it’s true that “[Cersei’s] strength relies on her beauty, birth and riches”. Because of her internalized misogyny, Cersei can’t conceive of a woman who might rise to power primarily because of her intelligence and shrewdness… Except that there is a woman who successfully conquered three cities and ruled the third and freed thousands of slaves relying primarily on her actual wit, political savviness and leadership skills rather than on sex, birthright or money… Dany. Dany is the competent, selfless ruler who could overcome many of the patriarchal limitations that Cersei couldn’t (hence why Cersei is a tragic figure). If Young Griff were to be the YMB(Q), he would simply be one of the many men (along with Robert, her brother, her father and the other Hands) who Cersei thinks wronged her and prevented her from staying in power. If Daenerys were to be the YMBQ, she would challenge Cersei’s toxic beliefs about women, which prevented Cersei from even imagining that a she-king might be the one foreshadowed to defeat her or that a woman (that isn’t her, of course) could actually be able to earn her accomplishments (just like she can’t imagine that Jaime might actually betray and kill her). Now, someone might argue that GRRM is not “woke” enough to do this, but I would disagree in this particular case. There are valid critiques to be made about how he wrote his female characters (I’ve made some points myself on the first item), but it’s still true that Dany’s character arc was written with awareness of how her gender affects her experiences. If that hadn’t been the case, AGOT wouldn’t have initially set up several men (Viserys, Rhaego, Drogo) to be claimant to the Iron Throne/SWMTW/the protagonist only to reveal that these roles are actually meant to be fulfilled by Dany, a woman. If that hadn’t been the case, he wouldn’t have had Maester Aemon acknowledge that “no one had ever looked for a girl” when they pondered on who might be AA/PTWP. So I don’t put it past GRRM to make Dany the YMBQ as a way of challenging Cersei’s entire worldview.
Indeed, I actually think that’s likely to be what he’ll write. GRRM has stated multiple times that Dany and Cersei are meant to be compared and contrasted because they were consciously written by him (specially in AFFC/ADWD) as narrative foils:
George regrets that Cersei and Dany will not be contrasted directly. (x)
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His biggest lament in splitting A Feast for Crows from A Dance with Dragons is the parallels he was drawing between Circe and Daenerys. (x)
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Cersei and Daenerys are intended as parallel characters --each exploring a different approach to how a woman would rule in a male dominated, medieval-inspired fantasy world. (x)
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While discussing how he writes his female characters, he also mentioned that splitting the books as he did this time meant we didn't get the parallel between how Danaerys and Cersei both approach the task of leadership, which is a bit of a shame. (x)
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And that one of the things he regrets losing from the POV split is that he was doing point and counterpoint with the Dany and Cersei scenes--showing how each was ruling in their turn. (x)
I think Young Griff as the YMB(Q) is very, very unlikely. If it’s not Dany, then I think Brienne (who at least is a viewpoint character that we know intimately) as the YMBQ (though I doubt it because she can only take Jaime away from Cersei and, as we saw in AFFC, Cersei was willing to separate herself from Jaime once she realized that he would question and disagree with her decisions and, in her mind, threaten her influence and power, i.e., what she wants the most) or even Cersei herself (the basis of this theory is that a younger Cersei caused her own downfall by making the choices she made. It’s not impossible considering that Cersei’s unreliable viewpoint prevents her from ever taking responsibility for her actions. Still, I think it’s unlikely because she’s been positioned as a passive participant in these prophecies - someone/some people kills her children, some person takes away everything she holds dear, some person murders her. Just like there’s a valonqar to kill Cersei, I think there’ll be a YMBQ to defeat her) are more plausible candidates. However, as I said in previous answers, Dany and Cersei have lots of clearly intended parallels and anti parallels (hence why GRRM mentioned them at least five times publicly) that people don’t often appreciate (but that I don’t want to mention here because I’m saving them for edits and that long meta). I find it hard to believe that GRRM would lay all this groundwork to contrast these two queens only to reveal that a minor character is the actual YMB(Q).
Now, the question about “in what context could it be obvious for the reader that Daenerys is the YMBQ” is difficult because, IMO, I don’t feel like there’s enough information to give you a reliable answer. First, let’s recap the most common theories, which, while I don’t think should be accepted as canon just yet, are popular for logical reasons. Here’s what GRRM said about the future events in the initial outline and interviews:
While the lion of Lannister and the direwolf of Stark snarl and scrap, however, a second and greater threat takes shape across the narrow sea, where the Dothraki horselords mass their barbarian hordes for a great invasion of the Seven Kingdoms, led by the fierce and beautiful Daenerys Stormborn, the last of the Targaryen dragonlords. The Dothraki invasion will be the central story of my second volume, A Dance with Dragons. (x)
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GRRM: Yes, three more volumes remain. The series could almost be considered as two linked trilogies, although I tend to think of it more as one long story. The next book, A Dance With Dragons, will focus on the return of Daenerys Targaryen to Westeros, and the conflicts that creates. After that comes The Winds of Winter. I have been calling the final volume A Time For Wolves, but I am not happy with that title and will probably change it if I can come up with one that I like better. (x)
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He said that in his original plan (when he wanted to write a trilogy) the Red Wedding would take place in book one, and Dany’s landing in Westeros in book two. Now he says that Dany’s arrival in Westeros will take place in book 5, A Dance with Dragons. (x)
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From there he started to plan a trilogy, since there were 3 main conflicts (Starks/Lannisters; Dany; and the Others) it felt it would neatly fit into a trilogy (ah!), but like Tolkien said, the tale grew in the telling. (x)
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“Well, Tyrion and Dany will intersect, in a way, but for much of the book they’re still apart,” he says. “They both have quite large roles to play here. Tyrion has decided that he actually would like to live, for one thing, which he wasn’t entirely sure of during the last book, and he’s now working toward that end—if he can survive the battle that’s breaking out all around him. And Dany has embraced her heritage as a Targaryen and embraced the Targaryen words. So they’re both coming home.” (x)
GRRM’s words seem to indicate that Dany will go to Dragonstone ("they're both coming home") and then King’s Landing in her campaign to take back the Seven Kingdoms before she goes to the Wall to fight against the Others.
And it is quite possible that she will clash with Young Griff. For one:
Hi, short question. Will we find out more about the Dance of the Dragons in future books?
The first dance or the second?
The second will be the subject of a book. The first will be mentioned from time to time, I'm sure. (x)
For two:
"It is dragons."
"Dragons?" said her mother. "Teora, don't be mad."
"I'm not. They're coming."
"How could you possibly know that?" her sister asked, with a note of scorn in her voice. "One of your little dreams?"
Teora gave a tiny nod, chin trembling. "They were dancing. In my dream. And everywhere the dragons danced the people died." (TWOW Arianne I)
For three:
Glowing like sunset, a red sword was raised in the hand of a blue-eyed king who cast no shadow. A cloth dragon swayed on poles amidst a cheering crowd. From a smoking tower, a great stone beast took wing, breathing shadow fire ... mother of dragons, slayer of lies … (ACOK Daenerys IV)
Now, here are my observations/questions/doubts:
The “cloth dragon” receiving a round of cheers from the crowd seems to indicate that a) Tommen will indeed fall from power when Young Griff (who’s already in Westeros almost ready to attack) invades King’s Landing and that b) Young Griff will inspire love from the population.
The more obvious possibility is that the second dance of dragons refers to a Dany versus Young Griff confrontation, especially since she’s prophesied to slay the lie that he represents (that he’s not Rhaegar Targaryen's son, but actually Illyrio’s son and a Blackfyre). However, since Victarion is currently in Meereen with a dragonbinder, it’s very likely that Dany will lose control of one of her dragons to a Greyjoy (either Victarion or Euron Greyjoy himself) and then will arrive in Westeros with only two of her three dragons. Or maybe Euron will use one of the dragons to attack Young Griff and that will be the second dance (though I find that unlikely since, again, Dany is prophesied to slay Young Griff’s lie). Or the second dance could actually refer to Dany versus Euron.
There are alternative speculations to consider. Right now, the consensus in the Dany fandom seems to be that there’s already too much in Dany’s plate for her (uniting all the khalasars and being hailed as the SWMTW; going back to Meereen; meeting Tyrion, Jorah, Moqorro and other characters; maybe going to Yunkai; going to Volantis; etc) to go to King’s Landing, which led to people assuming that only Cersei and JonCon will be involved in the city’s burning. It’s even theorized that Dany might actually skip King’s Landing and go to the Wall instead. These theories make a lot of sense and aren’t implausible, but it’s hard to reconcile them with GRRM’s initial intention with Dany (though it’s also been argued that he may have given part of her initial role to Young Griff). Additionally, I don’t think timeline issues are necessarily a guarantee of what GRRM will do with Dany. He made Tyrion travel much faster than reasonable back in AGOT to have him meet Catelyn in the inn at the crossroads and to be taken captive by her. So I wouldn't put it past GRRM to do something similar with Dany by having her arrive earlier in King’s Landing than she reasonably would just because he wants it to happen. And, as much as I don’t want it to happen and even though I criticized the theory before, I don’t think it’s impossible (though it’s not guaranteed either) for Dany to be accidentally involved in the burning of King’s Landing (though there is a recent counter-theory to that as well).
Re: Cersei, a lot of people tend to assume that she’s going to die when Young Griff takes King’s Landing, but I am not really sure. I do think that her parallels with Aerys II will pay off and reflect her ending. But that doesn’t prevent Cersei from surviving Young Griff’s invasion and meeting Dany later. Cersei could escape to Casterly Rock and they could meet there. Or Cersei could later attempt to retake the capital again in another impractical plan of hers, which then leads to King’s Landing burning. I don’t know.
Does Dany have to meet everyone to fulfill these prophecies? I’m not sure. Does Dany necessarily need to meet Young Griff and Stannis to slay their lies? Does she necessarily need to meet Cersei so that the readership finds out that she’s the YMBQ? Will there even be an actual moment that makes it “obvious for the reader that Daenerys is the YMBQ”? I don’t know, Anon. It may end up being up for people’s interpretation. Dany might end up burning the Iron Throne, if the theory about her accidentally burning King’s Landing actually happens. Dany might willingly melt the Iron Throne and install a new form of government that gives the smallfolk more political influence. Both of these possibilities could symbolize the end of Cersei’s desire for absolute power, even if Cersei and Dany don’t actually meet. I’m not even sure that there will be a moment that outright reveals that Dany is AA/PTWP/SWMTW (even though, IMO, the foreshadowing is way too overwhelming for it not to be her).
Speculating about Dany being the YMBQ is fun for me because it requires delving into her characterization, her parallels with Cersei and canon material in general. On the other hand, speculating about how this would actually happen is, IMO, less interesting (though I still enjoy reading what other people have to say) because it’s hard to accurately predict future plot points with the current information that we have (and I resent how fandom already accepts so many theories as unpublished canon). Dany has too many places to be and too many things to do and it’s not certain that she’ll be in King’s Landing when it burns (though I tend to think she will for the aforementioned reasons), the second dance of dragons can refer to different confrontations, it’s not certain that Dany needs to meet Cersei (or Young Griff or Stannis) to fulfill all these prophecies and it’s not certain that Dany is going to be explicitly revealed as the person who fulfills all these prophecies. We still have two books worth of plot development, so I really don’t think it’s possible to predict how the actual events will unfold. Sorry about not being able to give more definitive answers... I actually ended up making more questions. But that's kind of the point for now.
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Hello, I just found your blog and I like it very much, it’s very interesting to read!!!. My question is : what is your opinion on Ahmed and Kosem’s relationship? Do you think he truly loves her? What do you think about him seeing other women? And what do you think about his relationship with these women (Mahfiruz, Katerina, Gulbahar and Yasemin).
Thank you for liking my stuff!
I think that, just like Süleiman, Ahmet loves Kösem in his own way. It's not as toxic or problematic or often questionable writing-wise as Süleiman's love for Hürrem, but it still has both its ups and downs that make it interesting to explore.
Ahmet and Kösem is perhaps the love story where the writers made the most effort to mask the possible worse aspects of. It could even be considered actually romantic at points, with their amazing first scenes in the gardens and the amazing chemistry of Ekin Koç and Anastasia Tsilimpou, the beginning sense of wonder and "mystery" it started out with.... when she first met him, Anastasia didn't know he was the sultan and put all her trust in him - a certainly good first impression. Ahmet himself is also very far from Süleiman's direct endeavors and tests of loyalty, he tries his best to be respectful in his own way, despite that he fails to do that a bunch of times. That's why it's easy to miss the darker aspects of the relationship at first and it could be perceived as probably the only thing in the franchise that is remotely close to a "fairytale" of sorts.
However, when the curtains start to fall slowly, but surely, we come to realize that while, say, Hürrem learns to want what Süleiman wants, to be fully loyal to him and to cave to his demands just like he often caves to her own, Ahmet and Kösem as characters have entirely different values and needs throughout their whole relationship. The fact that Ahmet wanted Anastasia because of a picture, without him having ever met her, is incredibly telling: he has created an ideal of her in his own head from the start and he wants to consistently maintain it. When he's with her, it's as if he's living his own dream, his own perfect world that has place only for him and that young girl. (that's why the garden is so symbolic: Ahmet calls it a place of solitude, only for himself almost immediately after the audience is introduced to it; also that line from him: "The world is on one side, Kösem - on the other." - quoting by memory again, but the meaning is the same) Their world views gained from their past and present environments begin to clash from the moment she finds out he's a Sultan - she wants to desperately go back to her family, both because all of them are still alive and her free spirit that cannot bear to live in this golden cage. Ahmet doesn't let her go also because he lacks the understanding of this desire: he has grown in the strict Ottoman system and having people like Anastasia stay in the harem forever is something he finds perfectly natural; for him it's unthinkable to stand against it. But despite of that "minor offense", Ahmet's idea of Anastasia's "purity" and "perfection" was working for awhile, with her seeming to meet his expectations and slowly warm up to him. But the real truth is way stronger than your own made-up lies. Anastasia's pleas to let her go only get stronger until they reach their climax with her attempt to escape. And you know what? If it weren't for her contrived, yet convenient excuse to come back to him, he would've lost her. Helplessly, in a blink of an eye, he would've lost her, due to what she sees as sheer ignorance from his part. And when she gains her own bit of agency later in the season and becomes Kösem, when she develops and realizes the actual stakes of the game, beginning to play it herself due to survival by default and the will for revenge, Ahmet's "perfect picture" breaks apart and that apparently hurt him so much, he stayed mad at her for quite some time. This wasn't the person he knew and loved anymore, this was an entirely new, reborn woman. He didn't seem to love and respect her for the virtues she actually possessed, but for those that he had imagined her to always have in his head. That is another, more "subtle" level of toxicity than with Hürrem and Süleiman, but it's still toxicity, that's why this relationship is far from healthy and the "beautiful, but quirky" dynamic it sets the impression of.
Kösem's view of Ahmet is very interesting and complex, writing-wise. I actually don't think she grew to love him as much. The place she forcibly got in made her feel very limited by him mostly, since he was the reason she was here in the first place and he was calling the shots in terms of her future (whether she would visit her family or not?). What made her become a bit affectionate wasn't fully him himself, but rather the oh-so-prominent theme of adaption in the harem. She wanted to escape so desperately, but there were so many happenings and situations during the time she was in the harem that just demanded for her to get used to everything. So when Iskender gave her the chance to escape, she as become used to the harem's environment so much, she felt unsure of herself outside of it. Her return was out of necessity rather than love and even her standing up to the people when Ahmet was sick was done out of necessity, too (like I elaborated in another ask about Kösem). I'm not saying that she didn't feel any affection whatsoever, but the affection she felt for him was easy to let go of (E25: "Today I didn't marry only Sultan Ahmet, I married the country!"), because I don't think Ahmet did his best efforts to understand her and I don't think Kösem felt completely comfortable around him, all that contrasted with Kemankeş in S02, who according to her, understands her better than anyone ever could.
Ahmet loves Kösem, because even after his perfect picture with her was broken and his anger and denial and refusal to accept it passed, he did try to make things better. What I loved most about his dynamic with Kösem, is his open honesty with her that continued till the end. There have been scenes where they seemed like true companions, especially their beginning one in E21 with all the kids gathered around them. I loved that despite of his mistakes, he did try to set things right. There was this sudden protectiveness that activated in him when Kösem told him the truth about the death of his father and why she acted the way she did and that could mean she now became something of a "cinnamon roll he just protect" and that is certainly a flawed mindset to have in many aspects, but that showed he could actually care for her beyond his idealistic perspective of her.
Am I okay with Ahmet having other women? Honestly, I'm glad that MCK lowered the concubine arcs to a minimum and with the way they did it, it doesn't offend me as much. I would even love some of them to be more developed for a change, because they did turn out to be solely drama tools, thanks to their lesser episodes and MCK's different themes as a whole, that basically did their purpose and left, instead of stretch out and outstay their welcome and that is just the other extreme in a bad disguise.
I won't talk about the relationship he had with his other women as much, because they just aren't fleshed out. I would've liked to see more of Ahmet and Mahfiruze: I believe he was way more decent with her than say, Süleiman was with Mahidevran, and their scenes weren't half bad. Too bad that would've demanded Mahfiruze herself to be fleshed out more as a character and the writers to give her more of a place in the narrative. Katerina was present only for an episode (or was it two episodes?) and we don't have as much conclusions to drive here. We only have his mild infatuation with her and... that's it? We have no idea what Katerina actually felt or how their dynamic would play out in the long run. We can only speculate. Gülbahar, by contrast, also had the least screentime of all his women who have comparatively minimal screentime, but her exploration in S02 helps us gain a better idea of how it went between them. I have the impression that she was the least favourite concubine of Ahmet's, ever. She did succeed to get pregnant and have a child, but it probably was a one and done thing and she didn't seem to get any other grasp of manly affection since then. Which is why, along with them taking away Bayezid from her by exiling her, she was so focused on scheming for one particular goal and this became what defined her. But then again, that is still a speculation in my part. Now, with Yasemin we have much more on-screen chemistry and interaction: that relationship felt very similar with what Süleiman thought of Firuze - infatuation, massive infatuation, but still not love, because just like Firuze, Yasemin also gave him poison and we don't know how much the poison affected his psyche, along with the sickness it brought upon him. These relationships have the opposite problem MC's concubine arcs had: these women were all unfavored or favored very temporarily in the span of an episode or two, which made them very stale and lacking in material.
Lastly, while MCK in its entirety, isn't very big on love stories, Kösem and Ahmet's relationship still had an evolution throughout S01, even if that evolution was more "condensed" than the others similar to it. It still remains the most fleshed out love story in the show, along with Kösem and Kemankeş's, and it was a very important part of the story that helped shape much of the narrative that succeeds it.
#magnificent century#magnificent century kosem#magnificent century kösem#magnificent century: kösem#sultan ahmed#kosem sultan#kösem sultan#ask#elenahoward
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bored, bored, bored to tears of how any post about odysseus and penelope draws every chucklefuck who vaguely remembers high school english class out of the woodwork to scream that odysseus cheated on his wife and penelope deserves so much better
it’s easy to criticize odysseus! almost anything he’s done is on the table, including but not limited to ritual human sacrifice, sacking a city, throwing a child off a wall, ordering the deaths of slave women, keeping secrets from his crew and getting them killed accidentally, straight-up murder, and generally lying and swindling everywhere he goes. i happen to like him, which i expect backlash for, because i’ve been in english classes ever. and the most common talking point is........ not any of these; it’s that he cheated. even by people who should know better. anyone with a classics degree could spot the parallels between odysseus in book 5 of the odyssey and the captive trojan women in the iliad, but madeline miller can just call him a cheater and even i'm like “well. she's not the only one,” because it's so normalized.
so, so. i don’t really expect anyone to read this, mainly because the people who would be interested have already heard everything i’m about to say via various private messages, but i wanted to write about the odyssey, and how odysseus has sex with two women who aren’t his wife, circe and calypso. (as well as flirting delicately with nausicaa, which, god, isn’t in the same category at all. i did once read a post accusing odysseus of “marrying a princess,” but it also said he did cannibalism, so.)
i’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about cheating in a modern context vs an ancient one, because i’m not a professional classicist. my impression from reading homer and other greek-myth-based literature like the oresteia is that there wasn’t an expectation in ancient/mythological greece for men to be faithful to their wives (see: how almost every king in the iliad has a concubine). this is just a context clue; another is that odysseus tells penelope about both circe and calypso when they reunite, which ought to indicate that however you read what was going on, they didn’t view it as a dealbreaker.
but i do have my own read on what’s going on --- i wrote a post about calypso and book 5 here (tw for rape), and the long and short of it is that odysseus does not want to be there, and that this is obvious not only from the bent of the story (which all hangs together on the fact that odysseus is trying to get home) but also from the text. so when calypso keeps him there, “unwilling lover alongside lover all too willing,” that’s rape. like... there are other myths i imagine people get their ideas from, but i just don’t think that part of the odyssey has enough ambiguity to lend much support to the cheating interpretation.
consent with the circe encounter is more complicated, on multiple levels. he sleeps with her primarily because hermes tells him not to refuse her if he wants to see his crew again. at that point, it’s a kind of contractual arrangement: he sleeps with circe and his men are returned to him. sex is an act primarily to keep himself and his men safe. on the other hand, staying with her for a year afterward is apparently willing --- in contrast to calypso, who only swears an oath not to harm him when she's about to set him free, circe swears one from the start. his men are the ones who prompt him to get moving again. i don’t particularly like the term dubcon, but if it ever applies, i would say it’s here.
more than anything, what makes it hard (for me, at least) to assume good faith when people come at odysseus/penelope with the cheating argument is that they’re never just talking about circe. (see, again, madeline miller’s “at least twice” comment), and they refuse to consider that in neither encounter is odysseus in the position of power.
like, you know, penelope is also not in a position of power with respect to the suitors.
people tend to read odysseus' faithfulness vs penelope's as if that is the central contrast between them. and yes, penelope’s virtue is a huge source of anxiety in the odyssey, and yes, there are double standards, and yes, productive scholarship can come from examining that. i get it. but it isn’t the only or necessarily most interesting way to read the odyssey.
the odyssey is about a lot of things. definitely some of those things are marital fidelity and patriarchy. but one of the other things, for example, is hospitality, and what it means to be a bad host or a bad guest. penelope is at the mercy of bad, powerful guests. odysseus is at the mercy of bad, powerful hosts.
which brings me to what penelope “deserves.” because before you can make that argument, you have to be able to establish her character and what their relationship is based on. and the odyssey draws more attention to the likenesses between them than the differences. they share the epithet “wise.” they’re both full of tricks and lies. when penelope tells the suitors that she’ll pick whoever gives her the most gifts, odysseus hears and laughs to himself about her cleverness (book 18). penelope is the only person besides athena to successfully lie to him (book 23). they react with the same distrust and outward coldness while they test one another. they cry about the same things. they know each other through the same signs.
why is the question what penelope deserves? rooting for penelope isn’t rooting against odysseus; they’re very similar and well-matched people. @whatshouldwecallhomer has a couple of great posts (more concise than mine) on this subject, and particularly about odysseus and penelope’s likemindedness, here and here. ultimately, “deserves” isn’t the point. what penelope wants and values is the point.
but even if you disagree about any or all of this, please consider: you are not the first person ever to realize that odysseus had sex with other women. you’re not gonna be the one to break the news to an odysseus/penelope fan that he’s a bad person. we know. also, don’t be fucking rude on other people’s posts and artwork. “this is nice! if only i didn’t hate odysseus!” is not the compliment you think it is.
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Coffee & Cowboys
Chapter 1
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Word Count: 1600
Pairing: Jack ‘Agent Whiskey’ Daniels x English f!Reader (no y/n, no descriptions beyond accent)
Rating: Mature (For language and themes. Might become explicit at some point)
Warnings: Swearing; slow burn; angst; mentions of death; mentions of afterlife; mentions of alcohol; post-movie; AU
A/N: Slow burn. Meta / self aware-ish. I have no plan. First time writing Whiskey. No idea how often this series will be posted.
(I’m English, and I liked the contrast with our ‘Southern charm’-filled cowboy, so the reader is English too…)
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Saturday started like any other. No alarm, so you wake feeling refreshed and ready for the nothing you have planned. A nice long lie in, read for a bit in bed, hot shower, and very comfy clothes. You walk downstairs and into the kitchen as usual, eager to drink the glorious caffeinated nectar of life, when you stop abruptly. There’s a man stood there. His back to you, showing off some rather tight jeans, broad shoulders in a dark denim jacket and what looks like a stetson. Who the fuck wears a stetson?
“What the fuck? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?” You yell, as you pick up the first thing you can find in reach - a chopping board. A chopping board? What? He turns around, face slack. You grabs a jar and throw it at him. It flies straight through him and hits the wall behind, glass shattering and coffee spreading everywhere. You’re both just staring now, right where the jar should have stopped on his body. Your eyes meet his, matching expressions of pure shock on your faces.
Uh... no. You shake your head and turn, running back upstairs and shutting your bedroom door behind you. You slide the lock in place, and dive back in to bed. Still holding the damn chopping board, you throw the duvet over your head and squeeze your eyes shut. You’re asleep. You have to be. You’re asleep, and dreaming of your nice relaxing morning routine. When you open your eyes again you can start the day right, have another lie in, a nice shower, and then a coffee without any men in your kitchen. Deep breath in, out, eyes open.
Sitting up, throwing the duvet off, you look up and fuck! There he is, stetson and all.
“Where am I?” A southern drawl crosses the room to you. It’s deep, and velvety, and if you’d heard it at a bar you’re sure you’d feel very differently about it. But in your bedroom?
“Why are you here?”
“Where IS here?”
“How did you get in, anyway? The door was locked?” That stops him.
His face softens slightly as he looks at you and says, “I... don’t know.” He furrows his brows, two deep set lines forming between them. He’s staring at the door, and when you lean forward you can just about see that the lock is still in place.
“Did you walk through the door?” You whisper. He’s silent, still staring. “Are you a ghost?” That gets a reaction. He whips his head around, and glares at you now.
“No.”
“Are you sure?” His brow furrows again, face changing from its glare to a more fearful look as he whispers back to you.
“…No.”
…
You’re both in your living room now. It’s taken over an hour to get you both to the stage you can share a room without shouting or throwing things. That would have been hard to explain to neighbours or your housemate. Admittedly, he calmed down quicker than you did. You’re pretty sure an existential crisis will do that to you. Plus, the novelty of throwing things through him took longer to wear off than you thought.
Grasping tightly on your coffee (finally), the mystery ghost man paces in front of you. “You’re making me dizzy, would you stop?” You ask. He stops moving, sighs deeply and sits down on the chair across the room. “Huh.”
“What?” He replies sharply.
“Just curious why a jar goes through, or a pillow, or a chopping board, and you seem to be able to walk through doors without thinking about it, but you can still sit on a chair without falling through.” You explain to him, taking another sip of coffee. “Stupid metaphysical contradictions,” you grumble to yourself, and it actually brings out a slight chuckle from the man, who quickly tries his best to hide it.
He shrugs. “Well, darlin’, I know nothin’ more than you.”
“Don’t call me darling, cowboy.”
“Cowboy?” His brows shoot up, a smirk lifting one side of his moustache slightly. “Because of the hat?”
“And the accent. Thought you might prefer it to Ghost Boy... or Creepy McGee.” Another little chuckle falls from his lips as he leans forward, and looks at you. “You did follow me straight to my bedroom before. Creepy McGee would be a kind name for that.”
“Cowboy is fine, sugar. Thanks, I guess.”
“Ew. That’s worse than darling.” You finish the rest of your coffee in one mouthful, and look over to the man as he stands. “I’m still not convinced you’re real, just so you know.”
“What are the options then, darlin’? Ghost or what, exactly?” Or what, indeed. “And more importantly, how do I get back home?”
“The way I see it, we have three options.”
“Based on what?” His hands are on his hips, and you forget for a second that he might not be there, he might not even exist. The breadth of his shoulders exaggerating the narrowness of his hands on his hips. Shit. Why couldn’t you have just met him in a bar instead? Why did he have to appear in your kitchen? He clears his throat, jolting you back to reality and you flush at the idea he’s just been watching you stare at him. The stupid smirk is back. “See something you like, darlin’?” He says, with a stupider wink.
Ignoring him and his smug face, you begin. “Option One: I’m having some sort of mental health crisis and you’re a figment of my imagination. A symptom, if you will. Option two: You’re dead. You’re a ghost and, for whatever reason, you’re haunting me. Or, option number three,” you pause, “You’re not dead.”
“Preferable, from my point of view.” He interjects, frowning.
“Option three is more like, you’re not dead, but you’re close. Like you’re in a coma, but you’re still sort of haunting me. An apparition, astral projection, you know?” He’s nodding along, but silent, and still frowning. “Let’s rule out option one, I have no history of visual or auditory hallucinations, nor a family history of such things. So. Onto option two; there is a fairly wide and agreed consensus about ghosts, so we have ideas on next steps. Option three may be a little trickier though...” You trail off, placing your empty mug on the table in front of you. You stand, and walk over to a shelf to vaguely look at the DVDs.
“Why is that one trickier?” He asks, sitting down onto the chair again.
“Resources, mostly.” You tell him, over your shoulder. “There’s a lot of hauntings in film and TV, so a decent amount of lore to look into and test. But apparitions not so much.” You turn to him, and shrug.
“Wait.” He says, processing what you’ve told him. “Film and TV? Those are your resources?”
“Oh. I’m sorry. You got a library book recommendation? Name and number of an expert, perhaps?” You are just met with a huff and Ghost Cowboy just folds his arms and leans back. “Uncharted territory here, Mr Grumpy.” The look that replaces the sulk is priceless.
“Sorry, sugar. But I think I’ll get my own answers.” He stands up and walks to the front door. His hands passes straight through the handle, so he sighs, and just walks forward. He can’t get through it though, hitting it like he would usually instead. Another sigh as he turns to you. “What now?”
…
He’s pacing again as you voice each thought crossing your mind.
“So. Physical limitation to a place: ‘Beetlejuice’, ‘The Others’... Pretty common trope.” You pause. “Ooh, can we try something?” He stops his pacing and looks at you with a huff.
“Why not?” He says, throwing his hand out. “It’s not like it can get fuckin’ worse.” You stand and walk to the door. You open it, and walk back, past Mr Grumpy-Ghost-Cowboy, to the other end of the room.
“Try to go through.” He does, hitting the invisible barrier. “Okay,” you move next to the open door, “try now.” He isn’t happy, but he tries again anyway. Nothing, still stuck. “Fine.” You move to the other side of the doorway, into your front garden. “One more time?” You raise your eyebrows and try to look sweet and innocent. “Please, Cowboy?”
His hands are back on his hips. “Last time, English.” You nod, ignoring the newest nickname. It is decidedly better than darling and sugar, anyway. He tries again, and success. The cowboy walks through the door without any resistance. He looks shocked, and tries to walk further, perhaps out of your life forever. He’s stopped, again, at the wall.
“Huh. Interesting.” You walk back inside your house, the ghostly intruder following you after a moment of pushing the solid air. “Very interesting. You weren’t dragged back by my reentering the house.” You close the door again, and move back to sit on the sofa. “So. We’re looking at… limited physical proximity to a specific person instead: ‘Heart and Souls’, ‘Just Like Heaven’, maybe? Sort of. Not quite.” You start to mumble to yourself, before lifting your head and looking directly at your guest. “I’m going to plan a movie marathon.” The ghost cowboy just shakes his head, frowning more than you thought possible. Any more, you think, and his eyebrows will start to fold in on themselves. “Look,” you tell him, “you’re not in pain, and you’re not fading away. I’m dealing in my own way, but I’m open to suggestions.”
“Alcohol. Whiskey. Lots of it.”
“A cowboy who likes whiskey. Groundbreaking.”
#agent whiskey#jack daniels#Martha writes#agent whiskey x reader#agent whiskey x you#kingsman 2#kingsman: the golden circle#Coffee & Cowboys fic
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Rosie Watson
I don’t see much talk about Rosie, which is understandable since she has so little screen time. However, a child is a pretty important part of anyone’s life. And I’m in a child psychology class right now, so this sort of stuff is on my mind. I often see her appear in fanfiction, usually inaccurately, which is understandable because writing children is hard. This post is going to talk about her development at the end of the show (about 18 months old), what her development would be like at 2 years old (a common age for her in fanfiction), and how Mary’s death might have affected her.
Physical Development
By 18 months old, the physical development of most babies is pretty well developed. They’re almost definitely going to be walking by this time, maybe still a little unsteadily, but most can get around pretty well without much assistance at 18 months. By two years old, most children can climb stairs, run, and jump. Other than growing bigger, their physical development is starting to come to a close. Fine motor skills are still developing at this age; gross motor skills are going to be more well developed. A common test used is stacking blocks. At 18 months, they can generally only stack about 3, but by 2 years, babies can usually stack 5 blocks. Their peripheral and color vision is basically completely developed by 2 years, and their eyes, unless there is something wrong with them, will probably be close to 20/20 vision. They have well developed depth perception and perceptual constancy (the idea that an object viewed from a different distance or a different angle is still the same object). By 18 months, their hearing is well developed, and babies of this age can locate the sources of sounds just as well as adults can.
Cognitive Development
Jean Piaget came up with 6 stages for cognitive development in babies. By 18 months, Rosie would be in either stage 5 (12-18 months) or stage 6 (18-24 months). By this age, Rosie would be quite inquisitive about the world. Babies at this age are described as ‘miniature scientists’: they are exploring and trying to figure out how things work, often getting into things they shouldn’t. And since they can move around pretty well by this age, they’re able to get into a lot of things. They will be engaging in trial and error behaviors in order to accomplish something, though at 18, the baby might be able to start mentally representing some objects and able to manipulate them in their head and figure it out that way. The example Piaget gives is an experiment he did on his own kids. At (I think) 18 months, he gave his daughter a stick that she wanted to pull into her crib. She was able to get it into her crib only by repeated trial and error of repeatedly turning the stick until it was able to fit through the bars. He repeated this experiment with a different kid when they were about 24 months old, and they were able to sit there and think about it for a moment before turning the stick and pulling it into the crib because they were able to mentally manipulate the stick. Object permanence is fully established around 12 months, so Rosie at this age would fully grasp it and go after objects that have left her view or been hidden. Deferred imitation (the ability to repeat an observed action after a waiting period) is also well established by 12 months - children are able to repeat actions seen 4 weeks prior. So it would be easy for Rosie to repeat the actions of others at 18 months, definitely by 2 years. This is because memory starts solidifying around 12 months. Toddlers 1-3 years old require 12-14 hours of sleep each day.
Language
I think this is the biggest mistake I see when it comes to writing really young children. Your 2 year old will not be speaking complete sentences. At 18 months, babies only have a vocabulary of about 50 words (though, they can understand far more words than this - probably twice as many words). Between 18 and 22 months, babies have a vocabulary explosion, going from 50 words to about 300. About 75% of the words gained during this time are nouns. What is common at this age is overextension, which is use of words in situations where meaning is extended. This usually happens with function or form. For example, if a baby is shown a small dog and told that is a ‘doggie’ and then shown a cow and told that is a ‘cow’, they child might think anything bigger than the small dog is a cow, even if its actually a dog. So medium to large dogs, sheep, horses, moose, and cows might all get called cows. By extension, anything about the size of the dog, or maybe even smaller, might get called ‘doggie’. Or, maybe the baby has a toy train that it calls a ‘choo-choo’. The baby might end up calling anything with wheels a ‘choo-coo’. At 18-24 months, babies will be using 2 word sentences. However, they do seem to understand syntax pretty well at this age - if they want you to sit in a chair, they will tell you ‘sit chair’, not ‘chair sit’. At this age, they will be using Telegraphic Speech, which are brief expressions that contain the meaning of the sentence but only essential words are used. Adults use this in their everyday life, such as if we text someone ‘home Tuesday’ instead of ‘I will be home on Tuesday’.
If you want to go the route of showing Rosie as some sort of genius baby (or any baby of this age, for that matter), then you might have a baby using 3 word sentences with a vocabulary of 500 words. That would be a very smart baby. However, it’s almost impossible to tell how smart someone will be at this age. Baby’s brains are still developing, and even the smartest babies will have an upper limit on what they are capable of at this age. Most IQ tests can’t really start accurately predicting future intelligence until about 5 or 6. Even the tests that have been designed for babies 2 and younger are really only useful for telling if there’s some sort of cognitive impairment, not if the baby is exceptionally smart for its age. Even the ones that excel at the tests at that age might end up with only average intelligence. If you want Rosie to be a genius, it likely won’t really start showing until she is a little older.
Mary’s Death
Mary dies sometime between Rosie being about 6 months (when she throws the rattle at Sherlock) and 18 months (the end of TFP). We’ll just say 12 months for easy numbers. By this age, Rosie would have developed very strong attachments to her caregivers. Obviously John and Mary are her caregivers, but the scene where Rosie throws the rattle at Sherlock shows that Rosie has formed a strong attachment with Sherlock; 6 months is about the age where fear of strangers begins, and Rosie shows absolutely no discomfort with Sherlock, so he’s been around enough for the previous months to have a strong attachment with him. When Molly tells Sherlock that John doesn’t want to see him anymore at the end of T6T, we’re going to say that Rosie is about 12 months. This is about the time when fear of strangers starts declining, but if Rosie wasn’t pretty comfortable with Molly, she would be fussy at being taken away from her father, so it’s a pretty safe bet that Molly has also been pretty involved with taking care of Rosie. So, that’s 4 primary caregivers total.
Some might think that, because Rosie is so young, Mary’s death wouldn’t affect her. And Rosie isn’t likely to remember Mary or that she died. However, babies are utterly dependent on those that take care of them. Consequently, they form very strong attachments to those that take care of them. As anyone who has been around a baby can tell you, they get upset when the person that takes care of them disappears and isn’t around to offer them safety and comfort. By 12, Rosie would have formed a very strong attachment with Mary; even with her other caregivers being around, she still would have noticed Mary’s absence and been affected by it. However, her other caregivers weren’t around. John tells Sherlock that he doesn’t want Sherlock around any more, and then Sherlock goes “off his tits” with drugs for a while. John is having to deal with his wife being dead and the anger he feels towards his friend over that. It’s shown that he’s not doing too well. He’s probably still Rosie’s primary caregiver, but he almost definitely wouldn’t be as involved as he was simply because he’s so emotionally distraught. Meaning that the person who was probably least involved with Rosie prior to Mary’s death (Molly) might have ended up becoming the main caregiver for Rosie for a little while there. She went from 4 to 1 and a half caregivers, more or less. And that would definitely have affected her.
The most obvious way would be in her attachment style. Babies form different attachments to their caregivers, partially dependent on the baby’s own temperament, but usually dependent a lot more on the kind of care they receive. Most babies have secure attachment. Securely attached babies will show mild distress at a caregiver’s departure and will want to interact with the caregiver upon their return. However, they are easily comforted by the caregiver and go back to being happy and content pretty soon after being comforted. They use their caregiver as a secure base to explore the world around them. As long as the caregiver is close by, and giving positive signals as the baby is exploring if the baby becomes uncertain, they will remain content and explore just about everything they can. Securely attached babies are happier and more sociable with strangers, more cooperative with parents, get along better with peers, are better at problem solving, and having higher attention spans and lower impulsive behaviors. Contrast that with insecure attachment. There are actually 3 different types of insecure attachments, but I’m not going to go into them because this post is long enough as it is, and the individual types isn’t really important. There are some consistencies. Insecurely attached babies will be more emotionally distressed and less easily comforted by caregiver’s departure. They may initially show confusion or be dazed and disoriented with the caregiver first leaves. They may show contradictory behavior when the caregiver returns, alternating between pulling the caregiver close and pushing them away (though, there is one form of insecure attachment where the baby basically just ... doesn’t care about the caregiver. They show the least distress out of all babies when the caregiver leaves and basically ignores them when the caregiver returns).
Rosie would most likely start out as a securely attached baby. She is surrounded by a lot of people that love her and engage with her and take very good care of her. Sherlock would absolutely encourage exploration and curiosity within Rosie. however, attachment styles can change, depending on the caregiving received. I think it likely that, after the events of T6T, her attachment style would change from secure to insecure. The good news is, that also means it can change back, from insecure to secure. Even though we see Sherlock and John interacting with her will at the end of TFP, she would likely still be insecurely attached. It takes time for anyone to get over that sort of thing. If you are writing her at 18-20 months, it would be completely believable to write her as being a bit of a ‘problem baby’, with all the issues that come from insecure attachment. However, by 2 years, she will likely have gone back to a secure attachment style, likely with no lasting consequences of what happened during season 4. Babies display a wonderful ability to bounce back from all sorts of harsh conditions they go through at a young age, showing almost no problems later in life as long as they are given the chance to have a better situation and improve.
I hope this helps anyone looking to write about Rosie or any babies about 18 to 24 months of age.
#rosie#rosie watson#sherlock#sherlock holmes#bbc#bbc sherlock#sherlock bbc#john watson#mary watson#mary morstan#writing advice#fanfiction help#babies#t6t#the six thatchers#tfp#the final problem
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I’m not the previous Anon, but you mention you can’t recall specific points about Klaine and the perception of Kurt being the female of the relationship. I will give examples here, but I disagree with this idea overall. There were more times in seasons two or three when they did try, but my view is that people try to fit Kurt into what society has perceived female qualities to be, which don’t really hold true today . By four onwards, they had stopped trying to play them off in this way, although the subject is raised in Tested again.
For example, Kurt’s interests are perceived to be feminine. These included fashion, making clothes etc, decorating the new bedroom. However in the Substitute, Blaine says he reads Vogue, and is interested in fashion too. Plus of course, he also makes things during the seasons. (Since when though has fashion been a female interest - a lot of top designers over the last centuries have been male.)
Kurt sang the female part in Klaine duets - well that was naturally going to happen - Blaine had a lower baritone register, Kurt had counter tenor. Kurt’s duets were limited because his voice doesn’t blend easily with others. It was Chris Colfer’s choice to sing less, and have more plot or character development (eg compare Kurt with Blaine).
Kurt always joked that he wanted the female roles - to be Meg Ryan and even in 5/1 he still says he wants to be Goldie Hawn - the female in the relationship. Or indeed, it’s Blaine that proposes, an old fashioned idea that the man proposes. In DWS, Kurt calls Blaine “the alpha gay” because all the girls want to make out with him, and he can get away with passing as straight - he gets chosen as the male lead in the school play, when Kurt is ruled out.
I have seen an idea expressed that Kurt dressed more feminine - but no he dressed more flamboyantly, he wanted to be edgy but always refused to wear a dress. The kilt of course is not a female skirt. At no point did he set out to wear female clothes. Yes he liked accessories, such as brooches and neck scarves Blaine too dressed somewhat flamboyantly, from season 3 onwards - not so much as Kurt, but not like what the other guys wore.
The choice to hang with the girls was Chris’s choice. Plus Blaine would levitate towards the guys more - he has an older brother, he went to an all boys’ school; he enjoys watching sports and boxing and weight training . He just generally liked hanging out with the guys. Again the deeper singing voice, he sings on the male songs. Eg Summer Nights, the Rain in Spain.
From Dance with Somebody though, the show begins to write a more sensitive, vulnerable Blaine, with his own issues, and certainly in 5b, they don’t protray him as the tougher of the two. Again though society’s long held perception is the male is tough, resilient, ambitious, stronger in character which I consider to be nonsense in the 21st century. Doesn’t a woman have those qualities too?? And we see in Klaine that they both have a mixture of strong , ambitious, leadership qualities as well as more sensitive, vulnerable sides to their personalities.
So, I think if the show tried to make Kurt the female of the relationship, they’d mostly given up that idea by season 4.
I was mostly referring to not remembering examples where Kurt was positioned as the passive, fragile one and Blaine the active protector, but thank you for these examples as well. I remembered many instances of Kurt being portrayed as more feminine, I just didn't remember an awful lot of cases where this was contrasted with Blaine being more like one of the guys.
The thing is, I also disagree with the idea overall because a queer relationship is never going to fit into a fundamentally heteronormative dynamic, so Kurt is never going to be "the woman" of the relationship because he's not. A lot of homophobic ignorance comes from people not being able to divorce this heteronormative binary from queer relationships. Who wears the pants and all that. So I agree, even when Kurt shows feminine interests and is maybe positioned on that traditionally "girly" side of things, approaching Klaine through this lens is always going to be limiting. Hell, I'd argue approaching cishet relationships from a solely heteronormative perspective is limiting but I digress.
But I think what previous Anon was getting at is that gender roles still influence Klaine because it'd be impossible for them not to and it's interesting to examine. For me, it's always interesting to look at two fundamental levels of okay, this is how it was written for whatever reason, and this is how it's perceived by the audience. Heteronormativity affects Klaine on both levels.
The choice to hang with the girls was Chris’s choice.
Again like I said to another anon, might be so but it is part of Kurt’s character. And if people are viewing this as part of Kurt’s feminization, I think it’s more nuanced than that and there are valid story reasons why Kurt would feel more comfortable with the girls rather than the more immature boys whose tastes don’t align with his. And Schue kinda sucks for telling him off whenever he wanted to join the girls.
I won’t analyze every one of your examples (unless anyone wants me to? lol) but I thank you for them and I do think each is a point of discussion. I think it’s interesting when Glee in-universe normalizes Kurt’s decisions such as to sing female songs. When Jesse tells him off in Funeral, Kurt is basically like “yeah been there done that, get over it”. There’s something refreshing about how it becomes an accepted part of Kurt’s character to do these things and to have traditionally feminine interests because so what. And in the same vein it’s perfectly okay for Blaine to gravitate more towards the boys, and in fact another way to look at the both of them is to see both as normalized. Isn’t that the ultimate goal with representation, to normalize and validate different kinds of queer experiences? Kurt feels more comfortable with the girls and breaks ground by indulging in traditionally feminine interests. Blaine likes to hang out with the guys while also sharing many of Kurt’s interests, and it’s all okay and valid and still queer.
(Since when though has fashion been a female interest - a lot of top designers over the last centuries have been male.)
I mean that’s a whole other conversation to get into regarding coding and high-end well-respected jobs being predominantly male even in more feminine professions because of sexism, but I think that’s beyond the confines of talking about Glee lol. Fashion is ~girly~ in everyday life but the top designers getting the fame, respect and validation are men. Same with gastronomy, for example. Women are expected to cook and men aren’t (despite it being a basic skill holy shit you should know how to feed yourself) but once it becomes a ~proper~ profession suddenly it’s men getting the validation. So yeah a much, much bigger discussion but I just wanted to take a moment to reflect.
#there's truly just so much here with these gender role discussion and i'm one lone gleek lol#many different can of worms with authorial intent and actors influencing characters#but i think bottom line is kurt and blaine and klaine are always gonna be queer#still interesting to look at gendered coding#glee asks#anon#klaine asks#kurt asks#i remember when my garbage of a human being history teacher went on and on about male chefs#and how that someone proves that if men wanted to cook they'd be better at it than women#*somehow#ironic how a history teacher could ignore so much historical and societal context#maybe there's a reason why mundane everyday things are expected of women but they become more respected and valued when men do it#maybe#but like i said a different discussion#long post#lots of text just loads#okay not that much#i should shut up
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Can we have a full smut w Kakashi 🥺👉👈 I've asked you for Kakashi stuff before but I rlly like how you write and I'm a whore 😌
↳ yess we love kakashi content here 🤭 and sksjdj I felt that last part
::
you were pressed up against the wall, kakashi pinning both your wrists above you with his forearm. "did you think I wouldn't notice? you were practically throwing yourself at yamato."
of course you knew he would notice, that was what you wanted. whenever he got jealous it usually led to him ramming his cock into you and his dominance never failed to turn you on. it could go two ways, you could be a brat disobey him, and he'd punish you. or you could be a good girl and he'd reward you.
usually you would be a brat since it was fun making him mad but you were so horny at the moment that all you wanted was to be a good girl for him. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."
he scoffed, "you better not or I won't hesitate to fuck you right in front of yamato."
he noticed the way your eyes widened at his words and how you rubbed your thighs together. honestly you weren't too opposed to the idea,and you felt your underwear dampen up just at the thought. "yamato-"
his smashed his lips against yours, shutting you up before he pulled away. "I don't want to hear you say his name. you sure know how to test me don't you?"
just smile and nod. or at least that's what you wanted to do. he picked you up and placed you down onto the bed, putting his knee against your clothed cunt and moving it. you squirmed below him, wanting to move your hips but you knew better than that.
he lowered himself and lifted your shirt up, you took the cue and helped him. he groaned at the sight. "not even wearing a bra? what a dirty girl."
he wasted no time in sucking on one of your tits, his tongue swirling around your hardened nipple. his hand made it's way to your other one, pinching and fondling it. he heard your whines and you felt him smirk against you. honestly though he was desperate too, wanting to make sure you knew who you belonged to.
he stopped and pulled your shorts off, holding back a groan when he saw how soaked your underwear was already.
his thumb pressed harshly on your clit, making you moan out his name. "look at you moaning like a little desperate slut. could yamato make you feel this good?" you wanted to say yes just to piss him off but you were to desperate, the only thing you could do was shake your head. and he rewarded you, rubbing you at a faster pace.
it was a pretty sight for him, all he was doing was rubbing your clit and yet your eyes were shut tightly and your mouth was gaped open and releasing all sorts of pretty sounds. he shoved his fingers into your mouth, making you gag on them. "suck. you don't want to wake everyone up do you?"
you shook your head, doing as told and swirling your tongue around them. he hummed out of satisfaction and for being such a good girl he decided to give you more. he stopped for a second to take your underwear off before continuing his movements on your clit and thrusting two fingers into your throbbing cunt.
your body jolted with each thrust, your tits bouncing up and down in sync. your hair was getting messier each time your head rubbed up against the pillow. you were drooling, and all this combined made him want to fuck you.
his movements got sloppier when you tightened up, and somehow it only spurred you on. your eyes rolled back when you felt your orgasm crash over you, legs shaking and wrapping around his torso tightly.
he pulled his hands away and watched through lidded eyes. his body moved against his will, his hands lowering and wrapping around his cock. he was getting off to the sight, and you could've sworn that you heard him whimper but it was cut off by his voice. "turn around, ass up. I'm going to fuck you hard that you won't even remember your name by the end of it."
of course you did as told, you wanted to be a good girl just for him. wanted him to use you for his own pleasure, it was dirty but the thought made your cunt ache for him again despite the fact that you had just orgasmed.
his big hands kneaded your ass and then slapped it, the sharp pain made you let out a muffled moan into the pillow. he took a second to take it all in, but even he had reached his patience. he aligned himself with your entrance, the head of his cock lightly grazing your folds. and with just that you were already whimpering, head dizzy from the feeling.
he looked down at the way his cock sinked into your cunt and he couldn't help but groan at the filthy sight. his cock was wet from your arousal, and he knew that it was dripping down your thighs.
he held your hips tightly before ramming into you, but afterwards his thrusts were only slow paced. he did this on purpose even though it was hell for him too. but he wanted to hear you beg, wanted to hear the desperation in your voice.
and it worked, you were frustrated as hell at how slowly he was going. and you knew what he wanted, and under other circumstances you wouldn't have wanted to give in but you were so desperate for him this time.
he slapped your ass again to encourage you, this time rougher than last time. you let out a choked moan, unable to take it anymore. "faster!"
"what was that? I couldn't hear you?" he teased, making you whine out of frustration. he wasn't entirely wrong though, all the noises that you let out were muffled because of the pillow, and he wanted to hear you clearly.
you swallowed your pride, tightening your grip on the bedsheets and lifting your head up. your cheeks were heating up, embarrassed that you were actually going to beg. but you knew he was at his limit too, you wouldn't have to say much for him. "your cock feels so good! kakashi, please go faster! I-"
your sobs turned into mumbles and even through he could hear you weren't making any sense at all. he had just fucked you senseless and he took pride in that, especially since he wasn't going fast at all. he pulled your hair back and in the process also pulled your body up until your back was flush against his chest. his other hand snaked up to wrap around your neck, he squeezed it but not to the point that you couldn't breathe.
he set an animalistic pace, making you throw your head back against his shoulder. he took the opportunity to latch his lips onto your neck before just mumbling filthy things against it. "you're such a fucking whore."
it was like your walls were sucking him in, and it felt so good. he panted into his ear, not afraid to let you know how it made him feel.
you shook against him, feeling your body tingle and your eyes roll back as you reached your climax. he felt you tighten up around him and he groaned, it felt like you were milking his cock. "yeah that's it, cum around my cock like the good slut you are."
even after you were done he continued slamming into you, showing no signs of stopping his brutal pace. you let out loud whines, the overstimulation overwhelming you. it hurt but it also felt so deliciously good at the same time. "k-kakashi! please, I'm so sensitive right now agh!"
your words only encouraged him and you could feel his breath pan onto your neck. "shh, be a good girl and take it."
you whimpered, feeling flustered. that was all you wanted. to be a good girl for him. you wanted to please him and make him feel good. so you let him do whatever he wanted, feeling your heart do little flips.
his arm went around your hip, reaching down to rub your clit. your mouth gaped open, letting out a silent cry as you felt a familiar knot form in your stomach again. it hadn't even been five minutes in and you were already about to reach your high again. it felt too good though, and you found yourself practicing sobbing as you orgasmed.
the way your cunt clenched around him threw him over the edge. his thrusts grew slower and then he pulled out, his cum splattering onto your back and dripping down. you shuddered at the feeling, moaning his name as you clenched around nothing.
you turned around with a wide grin on your face, so innocent looking as in contrast to everything you two had just done. his eyes widened and he suddenly got really flustered, but he smiled too. you then rolled your eyes playfully, "someone has to work on their jealousy issues."
he scoffed, a teasing glint in his eyes. "oh yeah? remember when I told you about hanare?"
how could you forget? you tied kakashi onto the bed and teased him until he almost passed out. good times. you feigned a frown though, "nope. mind telling me again?"
#naruto imagines#naruto#naruto shippuden imagines#naruto shippuden#kakashi x reader#kakashi smut#kakashi imagines#kakashi sensei#kakashi hakate#not for virgin eyes
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Introduction: The Camayao Project
Hey everyone. The year has been a crazy and often frustrating ride. As of that last update, I can confirm that I am still working on Filipino-themed Sims world: Camayao. Unlike San Simeon, which was a colonial-era world built on a pre-existing base, Camayao is being built on an entirely new foundation and is based on the modern day. There are other differences as well, mostly in terms of construction and theme.
Moreover, I’ve come to the decision to make Camayao a collaborative project, the details of which will be hammered out over the course of a few weeks due to life concerns.
Where have I been?
Stuck in quarantine, for starters. The need to stay indoors because of Covid-19 is in fact a major factor in the project, both positive and negative. During the extended community quarantine, I was left with very little to do at home and began working on both the Manila Project and Camayao. However, being stuck indoors and left with few options meant that I had to scour the Internet for resources, which are often not as satisfactory as going out there and taking pictures myself.
At the time of writing, I’ve also undergone wisdom tooth removal surgery (and will be due for another one in a month). The pain I experienced before the surgery (and the surgery itself) hindered my ability to work, let alone do leisure activities. Thus, my ability to plan and build is limited until late in November when the last scheduled surgery is done.
About Camayao
An early test shot of Carmilla Homes Camayao
As currently imagined, Camayao is a fictional component city of the National Capital Region (i.e. what people usually think when they say “Manila”, rather than the capital itself) and is heavily based on various neighborhoods I’ve encountered across Metropolitan Manila. In general, the world draws heavy inspiration from Pasig and Taguig, with heavy admixtures from Muntinlupa, Las Piñas, and Manila itself.
The playable area of Camayao is planned across nine ten eleven different districts, each based on specific neighborhoods in Manila.
Poblacion: A traditional town center similar to the plaza area of San Simeon, dotted with colonial-era buildings in various states of conservation.
The Midtown (Actual name TBD): A medium-density commercial area dotted with buildings that have seen better days.
Parian: An extension of the town center with a Chinese Filipino flavor. Many buildings are in states of disrepair.
Tabinglaua: An actually rural area located close to the lake inhabited by farmers
Bacbacan: An industrial area with squatter colony built up around the remains of a burned down former factory compound.
Esteros: A riverside industrial area, also dotted with slums.
Villareal: A community of contrasts, one a gated community for the city’s elite and the spartan accommodations for the soldiers near the airbase.
The Village: An upper- to middle-middle class gated community filled with various suburban homes
Jacinto: An upscale high rise urban development, mostly populated by office dwellers and the nouveau riche.
Carmilla Homes: A cookie-cutter low-cost suburban residential development located in an out of the way area far from the city center.
The Port: A third industrial area, a seedy locale filled with dive bars, underground clubs, and more slums.
Among the things I’ll need to hammer out are the map details and the placement of the lots.
Rather than representing a real place, it acts as a microcosm of various places within Metropolitan Manila and its suburbs. Besides being built on an original map, Camayao is planned to be a turnkey world. Unlike with San Simeon, I plan to fully furnish almost all of the buildings available in Camayao. This meant, of course, that I had to keep track of the content I used. If all goes well, you will not need Monte Vista like you would with San Simeon.
I also intend to create a populated save file with a storyline. A world just seems more alive that way. Besides call backs to history and popular culture, Camayao also has elements of socio-political satire, one that’s inescapable when constructing a world based on a place with such disparate populations and social classes. That said, I do hope to avoid the egregious cliches such as poverty porn in the process.
Camayao and its updates will have its own Tumblelog.
An older version featuring some of the slums. This is a scene I hope to capture throughout Camayao.
Community Involvement
I’m taking a gamble and am opening up Camayao to community involvement to those interested. As soon as I am able, I will call upon interested simmers to work on some of the other buildings with me.
While I’m technically sending the invitation out to anyone willing to give it a go, I’m especially encouraging (the rather small remnant) Filipino TS3 community or anyone who has been to the Philippines for an extended period. Locals can provide the needed feedback and awareness to give the world a sense of authenticity. If possible, I’d also like feedback and contributions from minority populations (Muslims, Taoist Chinese, etc.) to lend authenticity to some of the representative families.
I’ll be preparing a Discord server for this purpose. Stay tuned to see if and when it’s up.
Plaza Rizal, one of the completed lots
What of Colonial Manila?
I’ve been meaning to create a version of Manila in the Sims for some time now but the limits of what I can do in CAW have limited my ability to do so. My original plan was to create a condensed version of the Manila Bay area with the I finally mustered up some of the courage to build Manila in the months leading to the quarantine.
My Colonial Manila project aimed to create a realistic facsimile of the IRL districts of Intramuros and Binondo a few decades before the end of Spanish rule. I pegged the world at approximately 1879, a year before the great earthquake that destroyed the belfry of the Manila Cathedral. However, I immediately faced a lot of problems on that end. Quarantine limited my ability to research since I was stuck at home. Thus did I quickly realize how out of depth I was. I was able to create the exteriors of several buildings, of course, but could never finish the interiors since I’ve very little idea on what they looked like.
Due to the scale of the project and the amount of research and custom content it needs, I had to put the project on hold in the meantime. Nonetheless, I did back up my project and will gladly resume them in the future, though the map itself will need a complete overhaul.
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Andromeda
Summary: Q-pid and DJ Subatomic Supernova organise a collaboration on a song. It could be good, if they ever manage to get along for long enough to finish it.
Author’s Note: Based on my post about Q’s relationship with other NSR artists, this is my first finished Q-pid story! Also my first finished story for No Straight Roads. If anything it was good practice for writing both him and DJSS.
The idea had sounded good on paper.
I like DJ Subatomic Supernova’s music. I’ve been to several of his concerts – as myself, of course. He does have a bit of a mouth, but it isn’t like he’s all talk. He’s on the NSR panel, after all. So when my manager first brought up the idea of a collaboration, my first thought was; Dinner for two amongst the stars. Oh, how romantic.
I don’t think dinner is in the question, obviously, but I’m sure something along those lines will be incorporated into the music video.
Now I’m standing in the middle of Club Planetarium – vacant, the screens on the circular walls turned off – a mere meter or so away from DJ Subatomic himself. I think, as far as I know with his head lacking a face and all, that he’s looking at me during his conversation. My manager Frank looks nervous, talking to both DJ and Tatiana on speaker-phone. But he can be persuasive when he’s trying to convince someone that something is a good idea.
My attention stays on Supernova. I keep the smile plastered on my face, and make it a little more friendly, just for good measure. Supernova’s shoulders jump – a snort? – and he turns back to Frank and Tatiana.
It’s fine, maybe he isn’t a fan of cheer. That isn’t my fault. It makes a nice contrast.
I return to Earth in time to hear Frank and Tatiana telling DJ what a wonderful idea this is. DJ sighs, defeated, and agrees to ‘stoop down’ to my level. Apparently, he thinks himself higher than an immortal love spirit, but okay.
DJ and Frank turn back to me as Tatiana leaves. Frank gives me a quick look, and I expertly hold back an eye-roll.
“It really is a pleasure to meet you in person. I’m a very big fan.” One hand over my heart, the other extended. Perfect.
“Of course you are.” DJ stands up, pushing himself out of his big chair. I manage to keep the Q-pid greeting pose, but for a moment…wow. He’s, taller than I thought. Oh, wow.
He takes my extended right hand in his left, a brief firm handshake.
“I look forward to working with you.” There’s a softness to my voice, to my smile, but I’ve stayed in character. Of course, I always do. It’s never been difficult for me.
I can feel that gaze again, taking me in with the barest amount of interest. Hands on the hips are too imposing, so I clasp my hands loose behind my back instead. DJ’s head tilts a degree, and he raises a hand to gesture as he speaks.
“Indeed. The infamous being of love, journeying into the depths of the cosmos. It may be quite promising.”
-------------------------
“Q!” Frank bangs on the door, trying the knob again. It’s still locked. I’m not getting up and I am not answering him. Everyone is going to stew for a while, and that’s fine by me.
DJ is so stubborn. I’ve tried everything I can to get along with him, but I can only be called a moron so many times.
I slide further down on the sofa I’m sitting on, arms crossed tightly.
All he’s done so far is shoot down all of my suggestions. The whole point of a collaboration was to meet a middle ground, not release Subatomic’s new song with a gorgeous singing voice in the background. I’m not asking for much, just to be able to put my own touches on the song, my own input. I give him a beautiful scene of Q-pid whisked away into the arms of the stars, falling in love with the universe that he’s been reborn into to experience – and he shuts it down completely! Obviously he doesn’t understand what I was picturing. NSR panel artist or not, there’s no excuse for being so ignorant.
I’m squished into the cushions uncomfortably, but I still refuse to move, even to adjust position. Frank is still knocking on the door.
“You agreed to do this album! You don’t want to disappoint your fans, right?” Frank calls back loudly, clearly talking to more than just me, “I’m so sorry about him, he can get intimidated when he meets other talent.”
I whip my head around, letting out an offended scoff before slapping my hand over my mouth. I glare at the door over my palm. If you are so determined to cover up my frustration, at least come up with a good lie!
There’s a small thud against the surface of the door, and Frank’s voice comes through the wood.
“Q-pid!” He stage-whispers, “You get your wings out here right now! You are finishing this single!”
I remove the hand, but not the glare, though it loses strength as I tap a foot against the floor. Frank is getting impatient, and the angrier he gets, the less willing I am to fight him. I don’t want to be fired. I can’t lose Q-pid.
I slide open the lock, pulling the door open wide enough to stand in full view and look out. Frank is there, hands thrown up in the air. Far behind him is DJ, his own arms crossed in an irritation not shown on his empty snow globe head.
“Now, see? Now can we please get back to work??”
I take a long look at DJ that drags across to Frank. Frank takes a step to the side, sweeping his arms in an ‘after you’ shepherding gesture. For a second, I consider taking advantage of the fact that he insisted I stay in costume for this and flying off. But that earlier fear still lingers, and I take a few sluggish steps forward instead. Frank reaches around and closes the door behind me.
DJ uncrosses his arms, weight moved to one foot. Now that we’re in the same room again, I can see Frank take a breath. He shakes off his anger from, oh, about twelve seconds ago, somehow going back to cheerfully pushy. I’ve done the same in other occasions, so I can’t really judge him for that.
“There. No need to get upset over creative differences, right?” Frank tries, smile crooked.
“Yeah, creative differences.” I echo hollowly. Frank has the same look as when he was talking to Tatiana, sweating bullets. He shuffles over enough to grab my arm, and I make sure to stay where I am, even if I want to pull away.
DJ scoffs at both of us, dripping with smug superiority.
“You both overestimate my investment in this project.”
“Of course. We’re just very eager to work with you! We just want to do our best to live up to your standards.” Frank squeezes my arm and I roll my eyes, feeling his pointed gaze from above his slatted smile. DJ hums, seeming to ponder over Frank’s words.
I glance to the candy heart bracelet around my wrist, my small reminder. I let out a huff – tiny, ‘relieved’, with a noticeable rise and drop of the shoulders – and give DJ a smile.
“I hope you can understand.”
Not being able to read his face is infuriating. It makes the long pause that follows even worse, keeping that ‘simple misunderstanding’ air permafrosted around myself while I wait for his response.
“You are but a fleeting moment in an ever-expanding universe.” DJ turns to fully face me, looking down in the process as he waves an open palm, “Your insistence on behaving as if you are less mediocre than any other being is charmingly misguided.”
The smile on my face brittles, eyes widening the tiniest amount. If my feet weren’t planted on the ground, I would test if DJ can still spin records with a broken finger!
“It’s fine.” I say, each word slow and maybe a tiny bit barbed, “It’s alright if you’re intimidated by me. Are you ready to work together now?”
“If you can cooperate for five minutes, maybe-“
“Okay!” Frank interrupts, loud enough to speak over any further arguing. He puts an arm around my shoulders and an arm on DJ’s shoulder that is quickly shrugged off. DJ starts walking back to our shared space on his own, and Frank pushes me along after him. For the sake of character consistency, I cull my expression into a neutral line.
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There. It’s finally finished. Andromeda (Star-Crossed Lovers), by DJ Subatomic Supernova and Q-pid.
I pack away the last of the things I’ve brought with me, taking a quick glance to the time on my phone.
My manager is patting himself on the back. I don’t know why, but maybe he’s relieved that it’s finally over.
It’s taken a week to finally complete the song. In that week, Frank has had to convince at least one of us out of a locked room almost daily. Getting to a middle ground where we’re both happy with the final product has been like walking through glass.
I zip my phone away in a pocket and walk back through Club Planetarium. DJ is standing behind his deck, watching it swivel back around into an armchair. I grunt but give him a tiny smirk, even though he can’t see it.
I do still respect DJ as an artist. And yes, maybe some of his decisions did improve the final result overall. But I’m not going to forget how stubborn and frustrating he really is face-to-face. It is so much worse than the snippets I’d heard before starting this collaboration.
DJ’s head turns and notices me approaching, and he takes a few steps away from his precious podium to meet me. I look him up and down in the brief moment of silence. I’m used to it now, the amount of height he has over me. He isn’t intimidating, he’s just hard to read, that’s all.
“I’ll be out of your hair soon.” I tell him, and shrug as my gaze falls on his equipment, “You managed to make something nice, with my help of course. I believe a thank you might be in order.” DJ repeats his full-body scoff, then points a finger at me.
“Your record company were the ones who begged for my help. All you’ve been done is scramble to improve your already fading grip on your limited existence on this planet.” He pulls his hand away as soon as he finishes speaking. I choke on a laugh and return that accusing tone right back onto him.
“You want your name on this track as much as I do. It isn’t my fault if you pretend that you don’t.” I follow my retort by giving him the caring, tender-hearted Q-pid beam, “Jealousy isn’t a very good colour on you, starlight.”
“Jealousy?” DJ crosses his arms, “Do you have a compulsive need to be wrong, or are you just that dense?”
I splutter, trying to come up with an appropriately scathing retort. Frank walks out from the same room I had just been in, pulling and shrugging on his suit jacket.
“Hey.” He interjects, stepping between us, “When all’s said and done, I think we did a lot of good work here. How about we let bygones be bygones?”
I continue to glare at DJ, arms crossed. Frank clears his throat loudly. When I don’t respond, he jerks his head towards DJ. I shoot him a glance and silently concede, focusing on getting back into character.
“You’re right.” I agree, and then smile like sunshine, “How about we kiss and make up?”
“You had better not.” DJ warns. My smile tightens into a grin. I wave a hand to brush off his response, as if he’s just confused.
“I was only speaking metaphorically.” I say lightly.
“I was not.”
I’m paused for a split second, hand still hanging in the air. I swear, he’s nothing but a brick wall. But Q-pid would laugh, so I laugh.
“Oh you are indeed charming, Mr Supernova, for someone so empty-headed.” The backhanded compliment sounds just as sweet as if I were asking him to marry me. DJ bristles.
“I have had just about enough of you.”
I take a step forward, looking up and meeting him in where I gather his eyes are. I’m trying to goad him into a further response, to have the satisfaction of knowing I’m getting underneath his skin.
Frank’s hand falls on my shoulder.
“Okay. You’re both tired, you’ve both been working hard. How about we call it quits and head on out?”
Yes please, I am begging Frank to let us leave already. The wings attached to my back spread and I start to take off down the path to the exit. It must seem like a drift from their perspectives, but I’m hurrying as fast as I can without looking too eager.
DJ turns his head from me to Frank, who’s still trying to smile and keep the peace. That smile wobbles even more under DJ’s blank stare.
“Yes, hurry off now. I have officially finished with this endeavour.”
“Oh, then we wouldn’t want to inconvenience you any further.” I reply, holding a hand to my chest. Frank seems to ignore our entire back-and-forth, wandering along after me, still looking at DJ with all kinds of colourfully encouraging body language.
“Thank you. This is going to be great, you won’t regret this!” Frank promises, “I’ll be in touch!”
“We should really be going.” I sing-song, flittering above the floor.
“Alright, alright.” Frank agrees, catching up to me. DJ is shaking his head, dropping back into his chair. Raised eyebrows are the only thing that betray my newly cheerful demeanour, a substitute to supress the glower I want to give him. I pull up to hover above Frank’s head. A blown kiss becomes a sweep of the arm and then a wave, all in the same practiced movement.
“It was wonderful to work with you, Supernova. Take care of yourself, okay?”
The screens on the walls all begin to turn on, displaying DJ from all sides as he shifts position to better accommodate his tensed shoulders.
“Goodbye.” He waves a hand dismissively. I can’t believe he still dares to talk to me like that.
“Bye.” It’s a strangled syllable, and I keep flying away until I’m outside and hit with a drop in temperature, the chill pleasant against the material of my jacket. Frank pulls the doors of Club Planetarium shut behind us. There’s already a line of people forming for tonight. Even with some of them beginning to recognise me, I land back on my feet and manage to sigh, wiping imaginary sweat from my forehead. That single had better trend after what I’ve gone through.
#NSR#NSR OC#DJ Subatomic Supernova#Q-pid#my writing#No Straight Roads#the end is a bit rushed cuz I was hurrying#I spent a week on this pls read it
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What would you rank all the fire emblem games that you have played.
Thank you for waiting, anon! This essay is finally finished! XD I don’t know if either of us ever intended for this to end up so long, but it did.
It’s interesting to see how each person experiences each game, so I hope everyone enjoys reading this. If anyone wants to ask questions for more details or just for conversation, please do!
I did a tier grouping ranking as well as ordering from bottom -> top, because that helped explain my feelings a little better. This isn’t really reflecting my nostalgia or personal feelings for the characters/world quite as much as “how much fun I had in my initial playthrough(s).” Because I think that’s what these sorts of lists are generally asking for.
First, I’d like to make a general statement about why I love FE games so much: Well, most simply it’s because I have more fun playing FE than any other series. That much is obvious though, right? I also love them because they all stand out in their own way, with their own unique combination of features, and because they are all super ambitious titles. It may lead to some rushing and half-baked ideas, but ambition is what excites me the most in any series. Even if the creators are not able to fully realize the ideas they had, the hard work still wows me as I play, and I can see hints of the full vision they had in every nook and cranny. Even the lowest games on this list are pretty high up there for me in fun level. The “fun but flawed” games just had glaring issues that interrupted the fun from time to time.
...FEs 1 & 3 are overall exceptions to the “unique and standing out rule,” being early games in the series; and FE6 set up post-Famicom FE, so it’s pretty basic, too - but they still get their own awards for setting a solid foundation for a fun video game series that withstands the test of time.
I can’t fully explain it, why I attached to FE the most over all other game series out there. But when I play FE, I usually don’t think about what’s not so great about the games. I just have fun. The gameplay always has me thinking, and I get engrossed in the stories and unlocking convos and supports.
Basic Tier
These games are really hard to judge properly in the ranking system, because they are just so basic for the series.
FE1 / FE11
When FE11 came out, I remember it getting so much flack for being really, really boring. But I didn’t get that. I like FE gameplay and storytelling at its core, so I don’t need the bells and whistles to have a good time. I knew this is where the series started, and was surprised with what content there was considering this is a remake of a game on the Famicom (NES).
FE1 set a very solid foundation for what the core of the series would be. Load it up next to a modern game, and it feels so the same and different all at once. I’ve only played a little bit of FE1 itself. I just can’t get through it because FE11 is SO similar to FE1, so you really only have to play one to get the whole experience. I didn’t feel like playing the same game over again at the time, so FE1 is still on my unfinished list.
Basic, solid foundation for the ages / 10
FE3 / FE12
After FE11 played it “safe” and took an “upgraded graphics with a few new ideas tacked on” approach, I was blown away by how much FE12 did, even if it was more for worse than better sometimes. It added so many conversations, was the first to tinker with the idea of a more fleshed out Avatar, added more story… and so on.
From what I’ve read recently, the new story stuff isn’t that great, but I don’t remember now. I’ve only played this game once. Overall, despite some clunk with the giant maps and so on, this game really challenged itself to improve from FE11, and it’s how I learned to love remakes that aren’t afraid to deviate from and add a lot to the original!
Set the stage for what kind of fun and ambition an FE remake could have / 10
FE3 is way more of a classic than any of us in the West can truly understand. It sold insanely well (the best in the series until Awakening I believe?), challenged the programmers to put FE1 on the cart as well, long before re-releases were a thing in the industry, and the game even made it to the Super Famicom Mini! I haven’t played it yet because again, it’s hard to get the motivation to play through the slow speed and clunkiness when I’ve already experienced the remake, but I’m looking forward to it some day.
The good ol’ days of the Super Famicom & SNES / 10
FE6
This was the first game without Kaga (the series original creator), so it set the stage for a future without him. The series might have strayed far from his plans for story and such, but this game, while it was pretty basic, firmly established a new foundation for the series on a new system, and gave a glimpse of what greatness the future had in store.
Overall though, this game is harder to commit to memory than others, except for classic characteristics like how terrible Roy is until, finally, BAM he gets his sword in the final stretches of the game; and running in circles from Douglas so you can avoid fighting him and successfully recruit him after the chapter.
Awkward, but sets a solid foundation for post-Kaga and post-Famicom FE / 10
Fun But Flaws Distracted From The Fun A Lot Tier
FE16
I really, really hate to say it, because this game tries to mix up the FE formula with the school setting and other new features and changes, and brought in a good mix of old and new, just like all the other FE games. But this game left very little impact on me for such a big experience. And I’m leaving out the fact that trying to play all four routes is dull as heck when I place the game this low. I’m basing it off of just how much I enjoyed the first playthrough.
Overall, I was most turned off by the class system. Which is funny, because I’ve seen others praise this as FE’s best class system. Everyone’s different. Classic classes like troubadours are just gone. The top tier classes are super limiting. Of course, you can just stop one tier down, but that’s not emotionally satisfying to me - I want my characters to reach the top! Despite having such free choice, I feel more limited than anything. If they’d just stopped at 4 tiers and not tried to go to 5, I think that would have been best. They had to stretch out the available classes too much to get to 5. ...Although being able to have an army of dragon riders is awesome, I’ll give it that. Dragons are too cool.
I was also really disappointed by the story. Fire Emblem has established that it can write a really emotional plot, and not be afraid to pull punches, with games like 4 and 8. I was expecting a huge contrast between part 1, where everyone is friends and classmates, and part 2, where war rips them apart, transforms them into different people, and forces them to brutally slaughter each other.
But in reality…the hate between Dimitri and Edelgard has nothing to do with the school at all… That was jarring to me. Of course there is no one right direction to take a story in. But the worldbuilding and story writing… feels even less coherent than Fates. That’s an accomplishment.
This is the one time I say ambition was really just too much. The game didn’t get enough polish. A game about the seasons doesn’t even have seasonal differences...
While my friends who don’t usually play Fire Emblem have had a fantastic experience with this one, after all I’ve been through, I found that I liked other FE’s more.
I think the best part about this game is the characters and supports. After Fates had a ton of supports in it just because it had to have them, the creators of this game weren’t afraid to change up the support formula once more, so they could balance quality and quantity. ...And then, ironically, this game went for the (almost entirely) mute, personality-less avatar character. Funny how that works out. XD
Dragon Lord Army Go! / 10
FE14
I feel this game deserves way more credit than it gets, while also agreeing with the critiques. The ambition was as great as ever. But then it got stuck in development hell and we got what we got. (For those who don’t know, the team was divided in two - the team that wanted a more fanservic-y experience, and the one that wanted to make a standard FE.)
I think the gameplay is the best part of this game, Conquest is great, and the gimmicks are indeed gimmicks, but still fun. In offering three different experiences, the entire package will please few, but that was the point of the multiple routes, to give everyone one route they would like, not to please everyone with all three.
But beyond the gameplay, the story is all over the place, the multiple routes just create more questions than answers; and features like an increased number of support convos and children feel like they are there only because of a desire to bring back “popular” features. After multiple food/cooking supports in a row, I couldn’t take it any more. There was so little that the characters were actually talking about in their supports vs. Awakening. I generally feel that more supports = better, because character interaction through supports is of course a highlight of post-Famicom FE, but in this case, the numbers did not do any favors.
Bringing back weapons that don’t break didn’t feel well done, either. I just ended up using basic weapons the whole time because I didn’t want to deal with the drawbacks of the higher level weapons.
Back to a positive for me: The hub world was neat, though it needed some convoluted story writing to be included. I was amused by going through the different features and collecting the items. I agree with Nintendo of America taking out the “petting minigame,” but since I lived in Japan when Fates released, it was amusing to do on the train and weird out the bored Japanese people who peered over my shoulder.
Since all three routes were different, this game was fun enough until the end in comparison to Three Houses, of which I am STILL trying to slog through the last route one year after release. But Fates was made for every route to be different, whereas Three Houses was not, so it’s not surprising I feel like that.
But time for the real talk about this game… why is everyone’s HP so low??? What happened?????
Up and down and all around in quality from start to finish / 10
FE15
I really want to like this game more. Oh, do I. It’s absolutely GORGEOUS, the character art makes my heart skip a beat, the game proved that full voice acting does fit FE really well, it fleshed out things like the dungeon crawling & story, and added support conversations & skills, etc. while still staying kind of basic, retaining the feeling that the original was on the NES. The momentum for the fun and ambition that an FE remake could have transitioned well from FE12 to here and led to this being a stunningly presented game.
But the creators totally missed the point on what were the defining features of the game in my opinion, and that mismatch of vision ruined a lot for me. I loved the imbalance, struggling as I placed my units in corners of maps just to survive, until I obtained all those OP items, and my super soldiers marched into battle and did wild and amazing things. Valbar with +5 move and 40 speed with the Speed Ring is the one thing I remember the best of FE2 and oh man was it fun, and did I love it.
And I mean, I understand why the creators weren’t going to keep that imbalance, it doesn’t make the game good for everyone. It’s just something I found fun, and made the game stand out among the other FEs. But the developers really just replaced old imbalance with new imbalance, the dread fighters being the one thing I remember in particular.
And they defined FE2’s best defining features as “the maps and the terrain effects” and I just did not agree. That was the stuff I DISLIKED about FE2! And that’s what they wanted to keep most? The terrain that made battles one giant miss, and the gigantic maps where I’d spend half the time just getting to the enemies? No thanks.
Then the story only cranked up the horrible treatment of the women, with Faye… being Faye, and I hated the direction they went in with Celica’s story... Ugh.
For every step or two forward, there’s one back / 10
FE10
FE games are always ambitious, but this one cranked the dial up to 10 and tripped over itself a lot. Still, it provided (even if it is info dumped) an intense and satisfying ending to the Tellius saga, and is another classic for the ages. I found the pacing boring and slow until then, though.
I think now that I’m older I can appreciate the story much, much more - and how it shows the story and aftermath of the Mad King’s War from multiple points of view - but the lack of the support conversations, and too much going on for any aspect of this game to be properly refined, still make this one lower on my list.
If only I could have played it more than once, to really get a good memory of the events of the game. My Wii actually scratched up my disk (How this happened, I don’t know, and it’s the ONLY disk my Wii ever slaughtered). It only held out long enough for my sibling and I to enjoy one playthrough each. I’ll get to playing my Japanese copy eventually!
Part 4 = Laguz Royals Emblem / 10
Somewhere Inbetween Tier
FE5
The last of the Kaga games. Still clunky and difficult, but with it’s own super unique features in capturing, stamina, and stealing weapons.
The brokenness of staves is not at all a flaw, but a feature in my opinion. Encouraging bizarre thinking and finding new ways to plow through maps is fun. I would probably be critical if this was a modern game, but I think older games need these quirks to stand out among modern titles with better graphics and decades of gaming history behind them.
And you still can complete the maps in a more traditional manner if you are determined. I did even for Reinhardt’s map.
Also, I gotta say... I don’t agree that this is the most difficult FE overall… it just has the hardest individual maps. The difficulty spikes are all over the place. The game goes from bashing your head against a wall to snoozefest constantly.
Fog of war was a mistake though, if I was a time traveler, I’d go back and make sure the programmers never figured out how to include it. XD
Steal ALL the tomes! / 10
FE13
Experiencing this game and its release in real time was an experience. The fandom really, truly thought this game might not only be the last FE ever, but also that it might not get a localization. Thinking there would never be a localization, I spent a night of my first trip to Japan buying a Japanese 3DS and a copy of the game. I only had 2 weeks on that study tour, but I was so determined that I used some of my precious free time to go shopping for it. To afford it, I even used the money my college gave to me for food, then subsided off of cheap convenience store meals with what little I had left. I barely had any true understanding of Japanese at the time, but I wanted other fans to experience this game, so I worked as hard as I could to translate as many supports as I could. This game is why I got into translation, and was what I really thought might be the end, so it will always have a special place in my heart for that.
Now to actually talk about playing the game itself. I really enjoyed it the first couple of times. Who cares that pair-up and the kids were OP, you either blast through the game with them and have a good laugh, or ignore them, set some challenging rules, and enjoy having at least a little challenge. I didn’t care much that the supports were a little lower quality because of the sheer number of them, I eagerly awaited unlocking each one, and reading what the two characters would talk about. (We fans have fanfiction to turn to if we hunger for more development. :p) The bonus content was plentiful, and a great fanservice-y way to bring the series to a close.
After all is said and done though, the game left me feeling empty when I thought about replaying it any further. The maps and story felt empty in comparison to previous games. Now that it’s been 8 years since the initial release, I’d of course enjoy a replay or two, but after having played FEs7-9 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to the next game… anything less than that level of excitement was surprising for me. I placed this game kinda high on the list because it’s fun when you play it. It’s just doesn’t have as much replay value, I feel.
Also, as a group, the children characters are my favorite in the series. They all come from deeply traumatic backgrounds, and the way they work through that trauma and navigate being given a second chance, but also not a true second chance because this timeline is different from their own, is endlessly fascinating for me. I don’t know if other fans give them enough credit, so I wanted to point them out in particular.
Would have been a fantastic way to send off the series, despite the flaws / 10
FE2
This game is flawed, imbalanced, makes me want to throw things, and it’s all, somehow, in a way that makes me LOVE IT. ...So long as I’m playing using an emulator with a speed up button.
This game is so hard, and the hit percentages are such garbage. But as I played, and unlocked more and more OP weapons and items, until I reached a point where the zombie dragons - what once took all my efforts - were an enemy that can easily be slaughtered in 1-on-1 combat... I felt so satisfied.
Old games need some kind of charm to make them still worth revisiting in a world of much better graphics and features that have now had decades to be refined. For me, this game has that perfect kind of quirky charm in spades.
The maps and terrain though… I have no words, just bash your head into the wall and you will understand how I feel.
Also, this game reminds me of Zelda 2 in it being a black sheep of its respective series… that’s a fun little nugget of info.
Duma’s sprite / 10
FE7
I don’t remember this game as well, despite it being one that I’ve played about 5 times? I don’t know why, it’s yet another fantastic Fire Emblem with its own ways that it stands out, managing not one, not two, but three lords, introducing the tactician, and so on. Guess time has just not been kind to my memory on this one.
I remember being really impressed with the length of this game back in the day, and Hector’s mode offering enough differences to make it totally fun to replay the main game again.
Lyn gets kind of pushed to the side (because that’s what generally happens to women main characters in Fire Emblem, if there’s a male lord around), but having the three lords was really fun. With three people, you get a great balance between all of their personalities, and they all play off of each other well.
Of course I loved Lyn and Hector, most everyone does, but I was always just as much of an Eliwood fan. His average stats pushed people away from liking him as much as the others, but I always looked up to his kindness. Eliwood / Ninian was an especially favorite pairing for my sappy teenage heart. Eliwood was just so romantic and sweet to me.
And though the game was made easier with international audiences in mind, the developers hadn’t invented all of the “easier/for convenience” features yet, so this is the last time we got to enjoy some “harder” features like needing to buy weapons during battles, and a convoy separate from the main lord. That’s cool if you like that stuff.
Unlocking the paralogues is hard though / 10
Favorites Tier
FE8
When it comes to FE8, while there’s plenty to like about the gameplay (despite the game being so easy, but again, like I said with Awakening, you can just set your own challenge rules), what I really love to ramble on about is the story and its emotional impact. Lyon is so precious and kind, but has so many inner conflicts stewing deep inside of him, leading him to elder magics, and… The Demon King is just ends up as a sideshow compared to Lyon coming face to face with his own demons. Both the characters - and many players, I’m sure - hope and hope to find a way to save him, but there just isn’t one. There are never any real leads. There’s nothing. Only the harrowing reality that some people cannot be saved, no, that some people do not want to be saved. The inevitability of Lyon’s demise, and seeing it all play out, packs a punch most plots can only dream of.
But it’s not like I won’t talk about the gameplay features either. Bringing back much of the best of FE2, the overworld map and everything to do really enhances the experience. I mean, yeah, I guess two side dungeons isn’t that much to get excited over, I can see that critique… but I didn’t care, it allowed me to easily chase support conversations, and (with some RNG abusing to obtain enough Boots and money to buy the stat-boosting items, but hey, whatever it takes) I could max out my characters’ stats and truly “complete” a Fire Emblem game.
Sacred Stones is so awesome.
Finally! A postgame! I sure hope the developers keep this up in all the future games… oh. / 10
FE9
This is the first FE game I ever played, so it will always occupy the most dear and special place in my heart, even if FE4 eventually won over as my favorite.
Do you believe in first sight? I do, and this is what taught me it’s real. From the first second of the first cutscene, I was enthralled. ...And that’s saying something, when the FE9 cutscenes are the kind of thing only a mother could love. But I just knew. I may have been a wee lass of 14, but I knew a love that would last a lifetime was being born. ...Or that would at least last 14 more years. I can’t predict the future. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and hate Fire Emblem with a burning passion? 2020 has taught me that tomorrow is always a big fat question mark.
Fun fact: in case you are wondering exactly what inspired my very initial interest in this series, it was a TV commercial. Probably this one. I just remember Ike running, of all things. My sibling and I both thought FE9 looked interesting from this commercial, and sought out the game all on our own with zero private knowledge that anything FE even existed.
This is where obsessions are born. Or mine at least. / 10
FE4
As I’ve established, this is my favorite of favorites. The bizarre way money, arenas, items, and more were handled, actually made the game more and more fun for me. Big maps are just so fun. Gen 1’s story is a tale for the ages, and Gen 2’s story is… well, classic FE, which never gets old for me. It will never cease to amaze me even today what the SNES/S Famicom could handle.
All I’d want added is a “warp between conquered castles” feature. I’m completely neutral on a remake otherwise. Of course a lot more could be added and detailed upon that I’d be happy for, but that’s my one specific wish.
Calvary Emblem Forever / 10
Bonus:
FEH
I played this game every day for around 2 ½ years before I finally felt I had to break the habit, so I’m not leaving it out! This title got a lot of flack for simplifying FE gameplay, but… looking at it that way completely disregards the niche app games fill, and the interesting ways developers view what type of games app games should be, and how the developers work hard to both innovate for the format yet stay faithful to the source.
It is surprisingly deep, and the maps + higher focus on unit skills make you think entirely differently about how to win in what is, in essence, the same gameplay as the main series.
Plus, what fan couldn’t get suckered into the fanservice of it? My best moments include attaining a +10 Nephenee while only spending money to get 2 of her, the other 9 were all F2P orbs; and becoming a Narcian/Valter shipper after supporting them on impulse because they were both on my flier team, and realizing the sick, twisted chemistry afterwards. Discovering rare-pairs is fun.
Also, finally, this game dared to nerf magic users a bit by making them RNG 2 only. If only the main series could do something like that.
I really enjoyed Heroes a lot, I just quit solely because it was a time drain. It was time to move on and play other things. And I’m glad I got out when I did. Seeing the game stoop to over-the-top powercreep (above and beyond what it was always implementing) and add the monthly service to keep the $$$$$ raking in was hard to watch.
Perfect app-style game gameplay-wise and fanservice-wise, but why aren’t gacha illegal yet / 10
FE Warriors
Oh yeah, this game exists too! It’s a Warriors game. If you like the formula and it never gets old for you, you’ll have fun with this game. If you don’t mind the limited game representation too much, you’ll have fun with this game. For me, the answers to those questions were a yes, so I enjoyed FE Warriors.
Yay for wailing on hordes of enemies / 10
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HSMTMTS 1x05 Review
Homecoming was a historic ep that was a giant leap forwards for rep on Disney and an overall delightful ep. Let’s dig in!
I was blown away by Seblos this ep, I never expected Disney to go this far this soon but what great scenes we got. It was so refreshing to see Carlos and Seb acting like normal teens, just like any straight couple. They have good chemistry and Frankie played Carlos’ nerves when asking Seb to the dance perfectly and his celebration after Seb said yes. I liked when Seb mentioned that homecoming would mean dancing together in front of all the non theatre kids, a little reminder of how much of a safe space the theatre can be. Really powerful to see Carlos tell Mr. Mazzara that he thought he made a mistake asking him to dance with him publicly and to see Carlos be brave enough to go dance on his own. And then when Seb arrived we got the shot we see in every teen movie where the love interest arrives at the big dance and sees the main character and smiles, it’s amazing that we saw that with two guys on a Disney show. Also impressive that Seb apologizing to Carlos was done in just one take as Tim revealed on instagram
Tim Federle has done an amazing job so far and good for him for going right into text. He’s said in interviews that no one from Disney ever asked him to cut any scenes or shy away from certain topics, which doesn’t mean much since he’d be saying that regardless of how much he was being censored, but we can see with our own eyes that he really is telling the truth. Now I do want more development for Carlos and Seb as characters as well as Seblos as a ship and I do think we’ll get that especially since Joe Serafini has been promoted to a series regular for S2, which is a very good sign that Disney is all in with Tim Federle’s plans. What an exciting time, there will soon be two main gay characters on a Disney show played by openly gay actors on a show created by an openly gay man. Tim has spoken of how Disney + is in some ways an open frontier and that he’s willing to take big jumps and I can’t wait to see what the rest of S1 and S2 has in store for us
Things have changed a lot since the High School Musical movies came out. It’s well known that Ryan was meant to be gay even though he could never actually be gay. Lucas Grabeel has spoken of how Kenny Ortega told him that Ryan was a lot like his High School self. In an interview with EW, Tim Federle was asked about the censorship of Ryan’s character and he noted that he wasn’t there for the movies and doesn’t view what he’s now doing on HSMTMTS as making up for anything that the original movies weren’t able to do. Which is fair but regardless in some ways tonight's ep does make up for the censorship of the movies
While reading an article on HSMTMTS I came upon a link to a story from October 2008 about Ryan and how he was clearly being coded as gay that featured some revealing quotes from Gary Marsh, from an interview conducted in summer 2008:
Regarding the fact that there are boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in the HSM movies, Marsh interjected, “Yeah, but that’s not about sex,” as though having two boyfriends equals full-tilt boogie. And as to why there can be boyfriend and girlfriends but not two boyfriends, he could only note, “It’s just not something that we’ve ever had the opportunity to portray. It hasn’t been a place we’ve gone.”
If someone, like Gary Marsh, believes that lgbtq relationships are inherently sexual then that means they don’t believe they’re appropriate for children. It’s no surprise then that it wouldn’t be until 2014 that Disney Channel had two lesbian moms appear on Good Luck Charlie and it wouldn’t be until 2017 that Cyrus came out to Buffy. Clearly Gary has for whatever reasons evolved in his views or there wouldn’t have been any rep on Disney Channel in the past 11 years nor do I think that he would make a comment like that publicly today but he probably does still believe that to an extent and I’d imagine other senior Disney executives do as well
A few things are helping Disney + push boundaries, being more of a PG than a G rated service, not being exclusively targeted towards children, and being a curated service so parents can easily avoid showing their kids shows with lgbtq rep. And perhaps most importantly, the cold hard reality that if Disney + is to become financially viable then it has to appeal to a broad audience and provide the same quality or better than people could find on Netflix or other streaming services so the kind of censorship we see on Disney Channel just can’t fly
There’s been a lot of discourse regarding Seblos and Tyrus and HSMTMTS and Andi Mack and I’ll take the time to say my piece now. It’s not entirely fair to compare the ships and shows since they’re taking place under very different circumstances. Tyrus was a heavily censored ship that was only given permission to canon when the series finale was written whereas Seblos is already canon in the 5th ep. It’s true that TJ was written in a way to subvert gay stereotypes which was important but it’s also true that for most of the audience they didn’t know that he was gay until the bench scene itself so there wasn’t that much trope subversion going on. And who knows how he would have been written if they were actually allowed to have him be openly gay before the series finale
Carlos and Seb may fall into some stereotypes but Tim Federle has spoken of how when he was in High School he would have loved to play a character like Sharpay but wouldn’t have had the confidence to do so and he wrote Seb wanting to play a female role with his own past experiences in mind. He’s also spoken about how Carlos was based off of a close friend of his and he put some of himself into Carlos as well with Carlos telling Mr. Mazzara that he was meant to be on Broadway being something Tim told one of his own teachers in High School. Frankie and Joe have talked about how they see a lot of their own experiences in Carlos and Seb as characters and in Seblos as a relationship. Tim has spoken a lot about how important authenticity is to him and while Carlos and Seb may be stereotypical to some people it shouldn’t be discounted that others can see their lived experiences in those characters
For Andi Mack it’s important to separate Cyrus’ story from the Tyrus story line. It’s unlikely HSMTMTS could have pulled off Cyrus’ coming out story line, the shows are just too different. We’re almost certainly not going to see a One in a Minyan style ep on HSMTMTS but would we have seen such an ep on Andi Mack if they didn’t need to pack all of Cyrus’ S3 story line into one ep? We also can’t forget that 3x11 was written shortly after the cancellation and it was written as a potential end to the gay story line since they didn’t know until months later if they could go with canon Tyrus or not. Even with the limits it faced Andi Mack did a great job with Cyrus’ coming out story line and I think eps like 2x01 and 2x13 and 3x11 will be fondly remembered and will stand the test of time
When it comes to Tyrus though it’s fair to say that the bench scene was a historic and important moment but also an underwhelming one. Andi Mack didn’t live up to the promise that Cyrus was no different but it was never going to be able to with Disney’s restrictions, they were willing to focus on Cyrus as a gay character but not Cyrus as an actively gay character. One thing that will make Seblos go down a lot better than Tyrus is that we aren’t going to see Carlos bearding himself like Cyrus did. It won’t age well at all that Cyrus got to go on dates with Iris and kiss her twice and refer to her as a his girlfriend and even come up with a mashup name for them but Terri probably would have done things very differently if she had known that all Cyrus would be able to do with a boy was hold hands in the series finale. We can also tell that HSMTMTS won’t be facing an increase in censorship later on since Seb will be a main in S2 whereas Disney cracked down hard after S2 for Andi Mack, probably because the story was shifting from Cyrus having a hopeless crush on a straight guy to a reciprocated crush on a gay guy
Since Seblos is textual from the start it will be much easier to write and also much easier to fix things when the writers inevitably make mistakes. I think a lot of the defensiveness coming from certain corners of the Andi Mack fandom is because deep down people know that the bench scene wasn’t enough pay off for the long dragged out Tyrus no burn we got; especially with all of the drama and angst they had. Development is important but it doesn’t take two thirds of the series to set up a silent handhold. I think it’s very unlikely that for HSMTMTS we’ll see the drastic decline in quality that Andi Mack had for most story lines after 3x11. The bench scene would have been better if we hadn’t gotten the worst writing of the series for TJ and Cyrus as characters that did a real disservice to them and to Tyrus as a ship in the eps before the finale. The Tyrus story line was never going to get a great ending with Disney’s restrictions but it is also true that Terri’s choices made things a lot worse than they had to be
It’s insane that they introduced Kira as a homophobic character who was manipulating TJ but also was clearly into him; how do professional writers come up with that? It’s just not a mistake Tim Federle is going to make. Trying to do an external homophobia story line was an obviously bad idea but so was giving TJ an out of nowhere internalized homophobia plot in 3x13 and 3x15 before dropping it in 3x18. Cyrus’ coming out story line helped a lot of people because it showed the correct way for friends to react when someone comes out to you but for TJ they never did anything to help people dealing with internalized or external homophobia, the message was effectively ‘’deal with it on your own kids’’, which is sharp contrast with how openly his dyscalculia plot was handled. I don’t think HSMTMTS would be effectively able to deal with homophobia either but I think Tim probably realizes that and won’t attempt it
There were a lot of little things Terri could have changed that would have helped. Don’t insert Kira into their plot. Don’t have Amber kiss Jonah or say she’s love him so at least she could have pointed to another character who never got to kiss a guy or talk about feelings. Put the Jandi bracelet scene in between the Muffy and Tyrus confession scenes so we don’t go straight from a Muffy kiss and handhold and verbal confession to the bench scene. And just write the bench scene better so it’s more in line with the Tyrus dynamic like how the Muffy and Jandi scenes did a good job capturing their own dynamics. Of course, we’re not going to see Seblos end so subtly so all these problems just won’t arise
Tyrus was important because it happened and may well be the only lgbtq rep we see for middle school characters played by actual teenagers for a very long time. But it’s also true that Andi Mack’s legacy will probably rest a lot more with Cyrus specifically, especially him saying the word gay, whereas HSMTMTS will be remembered more for normalizing lgbtq relationships with Seblos. I’m glad Tyrus happened but I’m also glad that Seblos will be a much smoother story line and will break boundaries for years to come. Anyways that’s my two cents
I really liked the Gina development this ep. Her doesn’t do cash line was interesting, hinting at financial problems? Moving 5 schools in 7 years is rough and I’d like to hear more about that. I’m glad that we got confirmation that she didn’t have an actual plan and was just winging it because her actions really did not make much sense. Tim Federle had said that love triangles will become love squares and it does make more sense to have Gina be into Ricky than EJ since there’s no real drama if she’s into EJ because Nini is totally over him. I do think Gina was being sincere in the scene with Ricky in the car (which Tim said was Big Red’s car that he lent Ricky and that Joshua and Sofia did that scene in just two takes). I also think that she needs Ricky as a friend not a lover and Ricky would not be happy if he ever found out that she was the one who initially stole Nini’s phone
Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen and Benjamin Mazzara love triangle? We do know that Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara spend Thanksgiving trapped together which is obvious set up for feelings to develop. We also got Mr. Mazzara doing a 180 and being nice to Carlos this ep which seems like a ploy to get him on the audiences good side
Loved the friendship moments we got this ep. Big Red and Kourtney are great friends. Ricky taking Big Red to his first dance was sweet and I love that Big Red showed up in a old man suit jacket that looks like it was from the 70s. Ngl I thought Ricky was wearing pajama pants for most of the ep. Glad we got a glimpse into Kourtney and Nini’s past, they’ve been friends at least since the 7th grade. I hope Kourtney stands up to the mean costume designer senior
I liked seeing Nini grappling with her self confidence after finding out that she got the lead role at summer camp because EJ poisoned the original lead. She does have the talent but that kind of revelation would leave most people shook
Glad that Ricky and his dad had a honest convo this ep. It’s just the two of them now so they need to stick by each other
Ashlyn has been an unexpected delight so far, I liked that she was the only one to go and support Carlos and she was rocking that suit
Ricky’s office stare after Gina dumped punch on EJ’s head was too funny
Born to be brave was a great song and the choreography blew me away, such a talented cast and crew they have
All of the costumes looked great this ep, kudos to the costume designers
RIP Seb’s cow
Looking Ahead:
Miss Jenn faces her tribunal, I’m curious to see how much she faked on her resume
We get photos of Seb comforting Carlos which I think comes after he finds out that Miss Jenn is suspended. In the medley trailer there was a clip of Carlos hugging Miss Jenn at a coffee shop so maybe that’s next ep since there’s no need to meet at a coffee shop if she’s not suspended
The cast has talked about how we the audience we’ll be going back and forth on team Ricky vs team EJ all season long which at this point seems like a lie. I’m sure EJ’s redemption arc starts soon and if he’s still going to panic attacks I’d imagine that will soon be brought up but Nini is totally over him and I can’t see her being torn about her feelings for EJ in the final 5 eps of the season
With Seb being a main in S2 that will make things more difficult for the writers to juggle and I hope they are thinking about how to balance the different characters. I also wonder what the long term plan for EJ is since he’s the only senior and if S2 takes place spring semester of his senior year then what are they gonna do with him in S3?
We know that in 1x10 breaking free has EJ, Nini, and Ricky so I wonder if EJ starts off playing Troy for whatever reason before Ricky shows up. Since Ricky thinks Nini is over him I don’t think we’ll be seeing him make a move unless he gets some kind of signal from Nini
Wonder what was up with that Sharpay’s mom credit on imdb, just some random imdb troll? If so, what a coincidence that she picked what happened to be a big Seb ep
I don’t know if this will have impact on the show going forward but this marks the point that Tim Federle took over as showrunner after original showrunner Oliver Goldsmith departed. Oliver wanted to take the show in a more mature direction but Tim disagreed and Disney sided with him over Oliver
Until next week Wildcats
#HSMTMTS#Seblos#Carlos#seb mathew-smith#Ricky Bowen#Gina Porter#Nini Salazar-Roberts#Kourtney#Big Red#Ashlyn#EJ Caswell#Mike Bowen#Miss Jenn#Benjamin Mazzara#HSMTMTS Reviews
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Pluralistic: 26 Mar 2020 (EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds, the ideology of economics, LoC plugs Little Brother, Canada nationalizes covid patents, Exponential Thread, Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty, record wind power growth, social distancing and other diseases, Badger Masks)
Today's links
EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds: With a deep cut from the NSA's secret listening post.
The ideology of economics: Economics doesn't have "laws" it has "policies."
LoC plugs Little Brother: Open access FTW.
Canada nationalizes covid patents: An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19.
Exponential Threat: Trump threatened to sue media outlets that aired this spot.
Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty: "Millions for plutes, but not one cent for workers."
Record wind-power growth: Covid stimulus could start a Green New Deal.
Social distancing and other diseases: Do we trust IoT thermometer companies, though?
Badger Masks: UW Madison's open facemask design.
This day in history: 2005, 2010, 2015, 2019
Colophon: Recent publications, upcoming appearances, current writing projects, current reading
EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds (permalink)
Telework is a quiet reminder that we live, in some sense, in an age of wonders. As terrible as lockdown is, imagine it without any way to videoconference with your peers and colleagues.
But it's also a moment where we tremble on the precipice of cyberpunk dystopia, when calls for mass surveillance – both for epidemiology and stabilizing states that are bruised and reeling – meet a world where everything is online and amenable to "collection" by spooks.
This is, basically, the moment that EFF has been warning about for 30 years: the moment when the "digital world" and the "real world" fully merge, and where the distinction between "tech policy" and "policy" dissolves.
One way you can help keep this in your colleagues' minds is to use EFF's amazing, free/open graphics as your videoconferencing background (most of these are the creation of the brilliant Hugh D'Andrade).
Now, those are all great, but this one is Room 641A at AT&T's Folsom Street center, where the whistleblower Mark Klein was ordered to build a secret room so the NSA could illegally spy on all US internet traffic.
The ideology of economics (permalink)
Thomas Piketty's "Capital in the 21st Century" advanced a simple, data-supported hypothesis: that markets left to their own will cause capital to grow faster than the economy as a whole, so over time, the rich always get richer.
https://boingboing.net/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-t.html
He's followed up Capital with the 1000-page "Capital and Ideology" – whose thesis is that the "laws" of economics are actually policies, created to "justify a society's inequalities," providing a rationale to convince poor people not to start building guillotines.
The first ideology of capital was the "trifunctional" system of monarchist France, dividing society into "those who pray," "those who fight," and "those who work."
After the French revolution, we enter the capitalist phase, then social democracies, and now, "meritocracies."
"Meritocracies" invest markets with the mystical power to identify and elevate the worthy, in a kind of tautology: those who have the most are worth the most. You can tell they're worth the most because they have the most.
("That makes me smart" -D. Trump)
In Piketty's conception, "Inequality is neither economic nor technological. It's ideological and political," where "ideology" "refers to a set of a priori plausible ideas describing how society should be structured" (think: Overton Window).
https://bostonreview.net/class-inequality/marshall-steinbaum-thomas-piketty-takes-ideology-inequality
The major part of the book seeks to explain how the post-war social democracies gave way to the grifter meritocracies of today, pulling together threads from across the whole world to tell the tale.
On the way, he described alternatives that were obliterated, and others that were never tried, and shows how "meritocracy" gave us Trump, xenophobia, Brexit, and the Current Situation.
In particular, he's interested in why working class people stopped voting (spoiler: they no longer perceive that elites will pay attention to them irrespective of how they vote) — and what it would take to mobilize them again.
The elites' indifference to working people is grounded in an alliance between the Brahmin Left (educated, well-paid liberals) and the Merchant Right (the finance sector). Notionally leftist parties, like the Democrats, are dominated by the Brahmin Left.
But more than any other, Macron epitomizes this alliance: proclaiming his liberal values while slashing taxes on the wealthy — punishing poor people for driving cars, exempting private jets from his "climate" bill.
Life in a "meritocracy" is especially cruel for poor people, because meritocracies, uniquely among ideologies, blame poor people for poverty. It's right there in the name. French kings didn't think God was punishing peons, rather, that the Lord had put them there to serve.
"The broadly social-democratic redistributive coalitions of the mid-twentieth century were not just electoral or institutional or party coalitions but also intellectual and ideological. The battle was fought and won above all on the battleground of ideas."
As Marshall Steinbaum writes in his excellent review, Piketty's work doesn't just highlight new ideas in economics: it highlights the intellectual poverty of the economics profession and its tunnel vision.
"Economists cannot be allowed to be the arbiters of the intensely political concerns Piketty takes up in the book, and the good news is that there is reason to believe they won't be."
LoC plugs Little Brother (permalink)
Honored and pleased to have my book Little Brother included on the Library of Congress's excellent collection of open-access ebooks in its collection, which you can always access gratis but which may be of especial interest during the lockdown.
https://blogs.loc.gov/thesignal/2020/03/more-open-ebooks-routinizing-open-access-ebook-workflows/
If you enjoyed Little Brother and its sequel Homeland, you might be interested in the third Little Brother book, Attack Surface, which Tor is publishing on Oct 12.
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531
If you're looking for more topical reading, Infodocket's carefully curated list of coronavirus resources is here for you:
https://www.infodocket.com/2020/01/31/2019-novel-coronavirus-resources/
Canada nationalizes covid patents (permalink)
Canada's Parliament has passed Bill C13, "An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19," amending patent law to create automatic compulsory licenses for any inventionused to fight covid, including diagnostics, vaccines, therapies or PPE.
https://www.parl.ca/DocumentViewer/en/43-1/bill/C-13/third-reading
As E Richard Gold writes, it's an "important signal that Canada will not support IP delays…While most firms are helping find solutions, this will prevent those who try to take advantage-by raising prices or limiting supply-or those who cannot deliver to block what is needed."
Exponential Threat (permalink)
"Exponential Threat" is a remarkable – and factual – political ad, one that contrasts Trump's statements on coronavirus with the spread of the disease in America.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkMwvmJLnc0
More remarkable: Trump has threatened to sue the media for airing it, which is a totally cool and normal thing for someone who has sworn a solemn oath to uphold the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to do.
https://assets.donaldjtrump.com/2017/web/hero_images/Redacted_PUSA_Letter.pdf
"In case you needed more, here's an (admittedly incomplete) list of Trump statements on the novel coronavirus and COID-19"
http://www.joeydevilla.com/2020/03/25/exponential-threat-the-covid-19-themed-ad-that-the-trump-pence-campaign-doesnt-want-you-to-see/
Jan. 22: "We have it totally under control. It's one person coming in from China."
Feb. 2: "We pretty much shut it down coming in from China. It's going to be fine."
Feb. 25: "CDC & my administration are doing a GREAT job of handling Coronavirus."
Feb. 25: "I think that's a problem that's going to go away. They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we're very close to a vaccine." [White House | New York Post]
Feb. 26: "We're going very substantially down, not up."
Feb. 27: "One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear."
Feb. 28: "We're ordering a lot of supplies. We're ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn't be ordering unless it was something like this. But we're ordering a lot of different elements of medical."
March 2: "You take a solid flu vaccine, you don't think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?"
March 2: "A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they're happening very rapidly."
March 4: "If we have thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work – some of them go to work, but they get better."
March 5: "I never said people that are feeling sick should go to work."
March 6: "I think we're doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down."
March 6: "Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. And the tests are beautiful. They are perfect just like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good."
March 6: "I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Every one of these doctors said, 'How do you know so much about this?' Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president."
March 6: "I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn't our fault."
March 8: "We have a perfectly coordinated and fine tuned plan at the White House for our attack on Coronavirus."
March 9: "The Fake News media & their partner, the Democrat Party, is doing everything within its semi-considerable power to inflame the Coronavirus situation."
March 10: "It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away."
March 13: National Emergency Declaration.
March 17: "I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."
Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty (permalink)
This Bernie Sanders floor speech in the Senate on the GOP's relentless attempts to punish poor people in the covid relief package is a must-watch
https://www.reddit.com/r/SandersForPresident/comments/fp3my0/bernie_goes_full_sanders_on_the_republicans_for/
tldr: GOP Senators are freaking out because some people in line to get the pittances they're doling out actually earn EVEN LESS than $1k-2k/month, and so they might get a raise in the form of covid relief.
That is, rather than taking the fact that this bare-minimum subsidy package exceeds "normal" income as a wakeup call to raise the minimum wage for the first time since 2009, the GOP is calling for cuts to aid to the most vulnerable Americans.
As Sanders points out, these same Senators had no problem with the Tax Scam, which poured trillions into the accounts of the richest Americans, directly and indirectly through stock-buybacks, which also left US business vulnerable and in need of trillions more today.
Now those bailed-out plutes want workers to risk death to "restart the economy," and the GOP will ensure they'll starve if they don't.
As ever, The Onion nails it:
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-urges-end-of-quarantine-for-lifeless-bipedal-automa-1842461351
"GOP Urges End Of Quarantine For Lifeless Bipedal Automatons That Make Economy Go"
Record wind-power growth (permalink)
As the world's wind-generation capacity increases, you'd expect annual growth to fall proportionately (it's easier to double a very small number than a very big one!), but this year should see the largest proportional growth ever, a 20% increase!
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/25/worlds-wind-power-capacity-up-by-fifth-after-record-year
That number is uncertain (hello, coronavirus), but on the other hand, there's a massive stimulus package in the offing that could be used to restart the economy by saving the planet with renewable energy.
The non-adjusted, pre-virus projection for this year's total growth in wind power was an additional 76GW (to meet climate projections, that number has to rise to 100GW/year, and then to 200GW/year).
Social distancing and other diseases (permalink)
Though the evidence is a little shaky, it appears that social distancing has dramatically reduced the spread of other infectious diseases, like flu.
https://qz.com/1824020/social-distancing-slowing-not-only-covid-19-but-other-diseases-too/
The data comes from an Internet of Shit "connected thermometer" company that (allegedly) anonymizes its data and uses it for health surveillance; they report a massive drop-off in high temps relative to other years and pre-distancing levels.
The claims are plausible, but they're also an ad for an IoT company that sells a product no one needs, so take them with a grain of salt.
I'd be interested in STI transmission after weeks/months of government-recommended masturbation-over-hookups:
https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/imm/covid-sex-guidance.pdf
Badger Masks (permalink)
A local hospital asked researchers at the UW Madison Engineering Design Innovation Lab to design them a field-expedient face-shield that could be mass-manufactured to protect its staff from coming cases.
https://www.wired.com/story/tinkerers-created-face-shield-being-used-hospitals/
Using hardware-store parts, the UW makerspace, and teleconferencing with self-isolating collaborators, the team designed an excellent mask, the Badger Shield:
https://making.engr.wisc.edu/shield/
They've manufactured and delivered 1,000 Badger Masks to the hospital and a Ford plant in MI is making 75,000 more this week for Detroit-area hospitals. Here's a technical spec you can follow if you have access to equipment and parts:
https://www.delve.com/assets/documents/OPEN-SOURCE-FACE-SHIELD-DRAWING-v1.PDF
It involves just 3 pieces: polyethylene sheets (laser- or die-cut), an elastic headband, and a 1" thick strip of self-adhesive polyurethane foam. For initial production, Midwest Prototyping used office-supply-store electric staplers for assembly.
The design process started with a teardown of an existing, approved mask, and the project lead, Lennon Rodgers, worked with collaborators to replicate it, sanity-checking successive designs with his wife, an anaesthesiologist.
They started hand-delivering prototypes to the hospital, who refined the design further, swapping in latex-free elastic and lengthening the shield. Tim Osswald from UW used his polymer engineering expertise to find a supplier who could create a custom die.
Now, more than 1M Badger Masks have been sought, with manufacturers like St Paul's Summit Medical tooling up to meet demand.
Other designs are popping up across America. San Francisco's Exploratorium is making 200+ shields/day using its own makerspace.
This day in history (permalink)
#15yrsago If the Constitution was a EULA https://web.archive.org/web/20050330012000/http://slate.msn.com/id/2115254/
#10yrsgo Discarded photocopier hard drives stuffed full of corporate secrets https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2010/03/18/hightech_copy_machines_a_gold_mine_for_data_thieves.html
#5yrsago TPP leak: states give companies the right to repeal nations' laws https://wikileaks.org/tpp-investment/press.html
#5yrsago Woman medicated in a psychiatric ward until she said Obama didn't follow her on Twitter https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/woman-held-in-psychiatric-ward-after-correctly-saying-obama-follows-her-on-twitter-10132662.html
#5yrsago Sandwars: the mafias whose illegal sand mines make whole islands vanish https://www.wired.com/2015/03/illegal-sand-mining/
#5yrsago Australia outlaws warrant canaries https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/03/australian-government-minister-dodge-new-data-retention-law-like-this/
#5yrsago As crypto wars begin, FBI silently removes sensible advice to encrypt your devices https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150325/17430330432/fbi-quietly-removes-recommendation-to-encrypt-your-phone-as-fbi-director-warns-how-encryption-will-lead-to-tears.shtml
#1yrago Article 13 will wreck the internet because Swedish MEPs accidentally pushed the wrong voting button https://medium.com/@emanuelkarlsten/sweden-democrats-swedish-social-democrats-defeat-motion-to-amend-articles-11-13-731d3c0fbf30
#1yrago EU's Parliament Signs Off on Disastrous Internet Law: What Happens Next? https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/03/eus-parliament-signs-disastrous-internet-law-what-happens-next
Colophon (permalink)
Today's top sources: Slashdot (https://slashdot.org/), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/), Late Stage Capitalism (https://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/).
Currently writing: I'm getting geared up to start work my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation.
Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.
Latest podcast: Data – the new oil, or potential for a toxic oil spill? https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/03/23/data-the-new-oil-or-potential-for-a-toxic-oil-spill/
Upcoming appearances:
Quarantine Book Club, April 1, 3PM Pacific https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quarantine-book-club-cory-doctorow-tickets-100931360416
Museums and the Web, April 2, 12PM-3PM Pacific https://mw20.museweb.net/
Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627
(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).
"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531
"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a new introduction by Edward Snowden: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250774583
This work licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. That means you can use it any way you like, including commerically, provided that you attribute it to me, Cory Doctorow, and include a link to pluralistic.net.
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When live gives you SARS, you make sarsaparilla -Joey "Accordion Guy" DeVilla
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