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#I learnt so many new english terms while writing this
angelizs · 2 years
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[Club activities - part 1]
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Summary: Crowley insists you join one of the school's clubs, even though your schedule is already full. Having no other choice, you oblige, on one condition: you'll attend a meeting of each club before deciding which one you'll join. As expected, shenanigans ensue.
Notes: gn!reader, humor, it's kinda long, reader is oblivious, mentions of minor injuries but in a funny way dw, I had to research about horse management and now you'll know about it too
Part: 1 (you're here!) / 2.0 / 2.5 (soon!)
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"Do I really have to do this? Isn't it enough that I already am your unnoficial errand runner, Grim's babysitter, Ramshackle's prefect and have to deal with an overblot a month on top of whatever insanity the students decide to put me through while I try to keep my grades up to not lose my scholarship?"
You really hoped he would listen to reason, after all, you already have way more than enough on your plate. As it is, he obviously didn't hear to a word you said. How unfortunate. 
"Of course it's most crucial you participate in a club! As a model educator, I must set an example for my peers. How would it look if one of my students didn't partake in such an important school activity?"
Crowley looks agravated by the mere idea. You deadpan at him. He stares back at you. Grim snoozes in the background. 
"Well, which one will it be?"
You sigh, as if the weight of the world was in your shoulders.
"...Can I see the list, at least?"
Crowley smiles, his whole demeanor changing as soon as he got what he wanted. You brace yourself for what is to come, knowing it will be a headache.
After taking a look at your options, you decide to go in one meeting of each before choosing one to join. You could just randomly pick one and be done with it, but since you're already being forced to do this, you should do something you enjoy.
The headmaster gives you a genial smile and agrees on your conditions, telling you how kind he is for doing so and how it will be great for your education. You glare at him, defeated.
Better start sooner than later, right?
Spelldrive Club (Leona, Ruggie, Epel)
Good news, you've played spelldrive before, so you're not entirely lost!
You keep that in mind as you arrive at the field. It's pretty intimidating, with most of the players being thugs from Savanaclaw that look like they could fold you in half like a twig. You scurry to Epel's side.
He's surprised you decided to participate in a meeting, but really happy as well since it's a chance to show off his manliness to you. You chat for a bit as you wait for Leona, the captain, to arrive. Ruggie eventually joins you both, cracking some joke about your unexpected attendance and having a new member on the team.
Once Leona arrives, he looks just as grumpy as usual, but his ears are perked up and he's scanning the field as if looking for something. And it seems he finds it once his eyes land on you, leading him to your little group's direction.
Crowley had the decency of telling him in advance about your test drive of the club, but Leona warns you he won't allow you to slack off just because it's your first day. You're surprised he even bothered to tell you this, as you imagined he would be as unenthusiastic as he is about his normal classes. It seems he has high expectations for you. Epel and Ruggie look startled as well, but wisely keep their mouths shut.
Everyone did light stretchs and got their brooms, ready to play. It was... intense. You already expected it from what little experience you had from the tornament, not to mention that by being magicless you had a limited range of moves you could pull, but it seemed Leona was a strict leader when it came to the sport. 
That, or he wanted to show off today for some reason. According to one of Epel's snide remarks, Leona is usually more laid back than he was being. You couldn't help but worry it had something to do with you, so you kept your head low and tried to follow the best you could, least he screamed at you as well. Besides, his complaints did sound reasonable, even if he was blunt and kind of rude about them, so it was good he was so motivated!
And he wasn't the only one. Epel was giving his all, pulling stunts left and right to get points. You were amazed by his ability, since you've never seen him play before, you had no idea he was this good! Your gaze would wander to wherever he was and you could swear you felt him staring back sometimes, though he turned his head away too fast for you to confirm it.
Even so, he wasn't safe from blundering his play eventually. After marking a point, he turned in your direction, confident that you've been watching, chest puffed out proudly. Only to be met with your panicked look as you tried to signal for him to look behind. One of the players from Savanaclaw shoved him then, almost dropping him from his broom. Luckly, Epel managed to catch himself just in time to avoid an accident, making you sigh relieved, your clammy hands readjusting their grip on your own broom, heart beating wildly on your chest. Leona screamed at both of you for being distracted, but he glared harder at Epel.
Ruggie was another one set on impressing you with his techniques, doing dangerous tricks on his broom while in midair. You knew he was very good, he was the one you went against on the first time you played, after all, but still cheered on his tricks. His cheeky smile stayed firm on his face, growing at every compliment you threw his way. His tail was wagging behind him, but you didn't have to know that.
The thing is, if he started to pay too much attention on you to gauge your reactions, he got distracted from the game going on around him. On more than one occasion he was almost throw out while dangling on his broom with only his feet, somehow managing to get his balance back everytime. Leona looked ready to burst a blood vessel when it happened, you had a feeling he was going to be extra annoying to Ruggie for the rest of the week.
All in all, you couldn't do much, so you stayed at the sidelines watching your friends play. You were sweating all over, the scorching sun shining above you. Did you remember to use sunscreen? You closed your eyes and took one arm off your broom to wipe out some sweat from your brow, distracted. You were pretty tired. The shouting went on at the background. You had the impression your friends were calling your name. As soon as you were going to turn to their direction and see what it was that they wanted, everything went black and you lost consciousness.
You woke up at the infirmary, having a feeling of deja vu. Why whenever you tried to play spelldrive something had to happen? Epel, Ruggie and Leona were by your bedside, looking worried, upset or annoyed. They explained a disk went out of course and ended up hitting you at the back of your head, causing you to pass out. 
Ruggie proudly announced he was the first one to react and caught you just in time, before you hit the ground. Epel added that he helped Ruggie bring you to the infirmary and that Leona went off on everyone at the field for not catching the damned disk. Leona just huffed and pretended to not care, but you could tell he did just from how he stayed waiting for you to wake up.
As sweet as that little moment was, you didn't want a repeat of what happened and felt spelldrive wasn't really for you. Time to check out other clubs. 
(Epel excitedly asks for you to come and watch another pratice some time. Ruggie backs him up and pulls his puppy eyes on you. Leona looks like he would like that as well but stays silent, staring at you expectantly, ears perked up. You end up agreeing, not wanting to crush their enthusiasm. It seems they really enjoyed having you over. Not sure if the rest of the team could say the same, but a glare from Leona will shut them up if they dare to bother you.)
Equestrian Club (Riddle, Silver, Sebek)
There were horses on campus!? How come you never met one before? Time to rectify that!
You couldn't remember if you ever rode a horse before or not. Well, surely everything would turn out alright, since some of the most responsible people were on this club. Surely.
Riddle was the one that greeted you and showed you around the stables. There was a huge area dedicated to them, with all the horses having their own section and a fenced space reserved for riding them. They were all very well taken care of, as Riddle made sure to tell you about some of his duties as a member of the club. He even took you to meet his horse and taught you how to pet it!
You also met Sebek and Silver tending to their horses and talked with them a bit. Sebek expressed his diligence as always, talking loudly about his passion for the sport and how he would definitly make his Lord proud of his work. Silver was less overwhelming and seemed gentler surrounded by animals like that, as he told you softly that he was glad you showed interest in their club and how he hoped you'd enjoy it.
After such a warm welcome, you had your hopes high for this club! (Especially after what happened at spelldrive pratice). It didn't involve any magic either, so you could do everything just fine. All was well, until you were assigned a horse to tend for the day.
There was only one horse available, so you didn't have much of a choice, really. It was a beautiful white horse that truly looked straight out of a fairytale, with it's elegant aura and thick mane. If only it's temper could match it's appearence. It was one of the most petulant equines you've ever seen. It took a while for it to even let you get closer without trying to bite your hand off.
Silver said it still didn't have a name and Riddle told you that since you were it's handler for the day, you should name it. You decided to name it Maximus. Sebek liked the name, loudly approving it. Maximus seemed pretty content as well, so you patted yourself on the back for scoring one point with him.
The first thing you were going to do before actually riding him was to groom him. You decided to watch how your friends did it and mimick their actions. Riddle handed you a bucket with different brushes that you had no idea what should be used for. Sebek secured Maximus for you, saying it was to make sure he wouldn't move around while you tried to take care of him. Silver helped you two get acquainted, making sure you knew basic safety instructions.
You grab a round rubber comb, watching Riddle rub circles on his horse's side with a firm hold. Starting on Maximus' left side, you hesitantly bring the comb in contact with his fur, watching as he gives you a nasty side eye. You weakly start your sweeps, careful to not hurt him or press on a tender spot. Riddle tells you to use more pressure in order to remove the dirt from his coat. You increase your strenght as he nods approvingly. Just as he's about to turn back to his own work, he sees you sliding the brush down Maximus' shoulders and to his legs, his tail swishing in warning. He manages to pull you back just in time before Maximus closes his jaw where your hand was mere moments ago. Your arm trembles and your eyes are wide as he explains which areas are sensitive and that you'd better avoid them.
After using a stiff brush that reminded you of a broom to knock out the dirt you had loosened, being extra careful on the areas Riddle mentioned, you grab a soft brush. You feel dread pool on your stomach as you watch Silver kneel down to tend to his horse's legs. You stare at Maximus, hoping he would let you do the same, but you swear his expression is one that says 'I dare you to try and see what happens'. You gulp but still get down to it, better get it done as soon as possible. The front legs go swimmingly, the back ones not so much. As you're almost getting finished you accidently press on a sore spot. Maximus loudly neighs, stamps his foot and raises his knee, causing you to fall on your behind, surprised and very much still in hitting range. You were pretty sure that was it, you were going to infirmary again with the worst concussion ever known to man. Thankfully, Silver had noticed it just in time to drag you away, holding you by your armpits like a misbehaving kitten. Your knees feel weak, so you stay on the ground with a racing heart as you watch Silver calm Maximus down.
The next step was to clean Maximus' hooves. Anyone with half a brain cell could sense it was a bad idea to leave you to it, so you stayed back while Sebek did the cleaning. He didn't to it quietly though, he made sure to shout every step so you'd learn how to do it at a later date. You couldn't even find it in yourself to be mad at his condescending tone, too grateful for him helping you out. You thank him sincerely as he pauses mid rant. He stares at you with his mouth open, as if he had short circuited. Sebek stays strangely quiet for the next few minutes, not making eye contact with you but trying to steal glances your way without you noticing. Maximus huffs and it sounds mocking, somehow. 
To finish it up, you comb Maximus' mane, untangling it carefully, finding it surprisingly relaxing and by far the best part of this whole thing. When brushing his tail, you make sure to stand by his side, not behind, to avoid almost being kicked again. You look proudly at your work as Maximus flaunts himself. Riddle, Silver and Sebek compliment your efforts, making you smile sincerely despite being pretty sure Maximus hates your guts and has cursed your entire bloodline in his mind.
Finally, the time has come. You're going to actually ride the horse now!
That is, if you manage to mount it first. 
You try to mount Maximus' by his right side, but he doesn't budge. Plus, he's too tall for you to reach properly. He stares at you. You're sure he's laughing at your misery. Silver, bless him, comes to your aid. He hands you a safety helmet and calmly checks if the saddle is well secured with the girth and all buckles are fastened. He offers you his hand and you take it, letting him guide you to Maximus' left side as he explains just how to get up. He looks very princely like this, talking almost excitedly... or, well, as excited as Silver gets. He doesn't look like he's about to fall asleep, so that must count for something, and there's a rare smile on his face. He must really like his club. And the horses seem to like him just fine as well. Way too fine, actually, since they insist in interrupting him as he talks, demanding his attention. His horse smacks it's tail on your face as it nuzzles on Silver's hand. Maximus neighs amused, that bastard.
You thank Silver and let him get to his own activities, not wanting to take more of his time. He leaves, but his smile dropped and he looked almost disappointed. You wonder what that was about. Either way, you go find a steeping stool to help you mount Maximus. Riddle goes with you, insisting in supervising everything to make sure you won't have any problems. He holds Maximus' face to make sure he will stay quiet for you to mount him like Silver taught you to. As soon as you're seated Riddle withdraws from proximity, letting Maximus have some space. However, before you get time to grip the reins, Maximus takes off, leaving you to desperately hold onto his neck as he runs around. Riddle goes after the two of you, trying to stop him while you hold your screams in. After a full minute of this, Maximus suddenly stops, making you let go of your grip on him and fall to the side. Riddle fusses over you, making sure you're not badly hurt while reprimanding the horse for the stunt he pulled. 
You do feel sore all over, but refuse to back down. You're not going to let Maximus have the last laugh. You thank Riddle for his help and let him go back to his horse, assuring him you'll be fine. He checks on you once more to make sure you're ok before going, looking behing his shoulder as if you were about to fall again. You smile reassuringly. His face turns red like his hair and he scurries away. You take Maximus back to where you left the steeping stool, determined to mount him and actually stay there this time.
Sebek notices your struggle and decides to graciously help you once more. Maximus squirms around but eventually the two of you make him stay in place while you mount him. Sebek keeps his hand on Maximus while you adjust your footing and organize the reins. Once you're ready, you nudge Maximus with your lower leg, encouraging him to start walking. Sebek insists on being close the entire time, making corrections to your position and moviments, such as keeping your back straight and looking forward. Even with his harsh soldier like tone, you begin enjoying the ride and compliment him on his ability as a teacher, stating how much of an exceptional rider he must be. Sebek blushes and starts stuttering, words getting mixed up with one another. Without his clear instructions you start having a rockier time with reining Maximus, but he manages to not blunder his words too much when telling you how to halt and to dismount your horse.
At the end of pratice you're sweaty, covered in mud and sore all over. It was fun some times, but you rather not have to worry for your life at every meeting (the overblots and dealing with your friends antics was already more than enough life threatning excitement for you). You also feel you should steer clear from the stables, just in case Maximus tries to commit his revenge on you. Time to check out other clubs.
(The boys insist you only need some more practice, that you have potential, that Maximus will warm up to you. They are very earnest when telling you they enjoyed having you over, even if they had to keep an eye on you the whole time to make sure you wouldn't get hurt. When they ask you to come by another time, you can't say no. You suppose you do owe them one for all their help. They ligthen up when you agree, so you can't bring yourself to regret it, even if you know you'll have to deal Maximus once again.)
Basketball Club (Ace, Floyd, Jamil)
Oh, this is Ace's club, right? And it's a normal non-magical sport as well. Let's give it a try!
The first person to greet you is, obviously, one of your closest friends (and cause of your daily headaches), Ace. He had bragged to you about his ability in playing basketball before, something about being the best freshmen in the team and even Riddle complimenting him on his skill. He teases you, asking if you'll be able to keep up with him, which earns him an eyeroll and a friendly punch on the shoulder.
You quickly remember who else Ace mentioned being on the team as soon as you hear a loud voice call for 'Shrimpy' and two arms squeezing the air out of you. Of course, Floyd was overenthusiastic about your participation, telling you how your presence would surely make things interesting and how this class was starting to get boring so it was good to have something new added to it. You're not sure how to react so you reply telling him you'll do your best (and praying he'd let you go before you run out of air). Floyd stares at you for a bit, taken aback from such an earnest answer, before squeezing you even harder for being so cute. Ace comes to the rescue, saving you from passing out before the class could even start.
You also find another familiar face on the team, Jamil. You thank whatever higher being that was out there looking out for you for sending a sane person to keep you company. It seems Jamil shares the sentiment, as you start a light conversation about the club that ends up being more about Jamil complaining that he had to deal with Kalim's shenanigans his entire life and the only moment he's alone he has to babysit Ace and Floyd, least they cause a disaster and the rest of the team is blamed for it. You sympathize with him, promising to do your part in the babysitting duty for the day. Jamil looks really relieved as he thanks you.
Before pratice, just like in Spelldrive, you did light stretches, competing with Ace to see who can reach their feet when bending down or who can stay longer balancing on one leg. Everyone got separated in duos to train some passes before actually playing. Scattering across the gym, each at one end of the room, you and Ace threw the ball between yourselves. He always had some cheeky comment to make about your lack of skill, which only motivated you to throw the ball harder at his direction, technique be damned. All the while you had to be careful to avoid stray shots from the others around you. Perhaps you should have brought the safety helmet from the Equestrian club.
Floyd and Jamil (he must have been dragged into this, being one of the only ones able to handle Floyd) were right next to where your duo was. They both were obviously skilled, doing tricks with the ball to show off. You were actually pretty impressed as you observed them, so much so that you miscalculated your shot and instead of sending the ball to hit Ace, it went at Floyd's direction. As Floyd was busy annoying the closest student to his side, he only noticed the ball right before it hit him, too late to stop it. 
Thankfully his skull was thick enough that not even a basketball hitting him managed to hurt, though it did leave quite an impressive red mark on his face. Ace swore and scurried away from Floyd's other side, Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, you felt your heart drop. The student that previously had Floyd's attention took the opportunity to run away, leaving the four of you in this stalemate. Even with all the activity around, you could only focus on the way Floyd raised his eyes to meet your frightened ones, an impassive expression on his face and your basketball on his hand.
Instead of a frown and the deeper tone of voice you expected (alongside the promise of pain in your future), you were met with a wide grin, sharp teeth at full display, and a high pitched giggle. You didn't know which was worse. Either way, you felt like a prey caught in it's predator radar. Floyd told you that if you wanted to play so bad, he'd be happy to play with you! Ace was planning your funeral already.
And so, what was supposed to be a simple exercise of passing the ball became an impromptu game of dodgeball in which if you were hit, instead of being out you gained a concussion and a trip to the infirmary. Somehow, Ace and Jamil got roped into it as well, the three of you running around to avoid being hit by one of the deathly bullets Floyd threw at you. After noticing it, the club leader announced they could stop for a short break before picking out the teams for a game, in the hopes it would distract the eelmer enough to make him stop.
It worked, since the prospect of 'playing another game with shrimpy' made Floyd get excited to get you on his team. You sighed in relief, a bit out of breath. You and Ace sprawled yourselves at the floor to rest, not caring about how dirty it may be, your legs needed to lay down for a while. He turned his head at your direction and said it was your fault for having such bad aim. You replied with how it was his fault for being so bad at teaching you. You have a stare down that ends in both bursting into laughter.
Jamil and some other second year were the ones choosing the teams. He smiled mischievously, the same smile he had when he was planning something. Jamil could be the calmer one between your options, but that didn't mean he wouldn't cause trouble as well. In the end, you stayed on Jamil's team while Floyd and Ace were on the other. Floyd pouted and whined about how he had wanted to play in the same team as you and Ace seemed a bit miffed (you weren't sure if it was because he ended up against you or because he was with Floyd). Jamil had a very self satisfied smile on his face as he told you which formation your team would use. He sent a smug smirk to the others when you weren't looking.
You were wondering what kind of stunt Floyd would put to get what he wanted, but once the game started he just... didn't do anything. Jamil, on the other hand, was quick to catch the ball and take it to the other side of the court, dodging Ace's attempts at stopping him, jumping high and scoring some points. You were in awe, you had no idea Jamil was this good! As he went to your side with a self-satisfied expression in face, you showered him in compliments, saying how fast he ran and how high he jumped and how he looked really cool! While the smile stayed on his face, it seemed softer, and Jamil wouldn't look you in the eyes, murmuring something that you didn't catch about this being his strategy to win by having you on his side.
As the game went on you managed to get the hang of it, actually enjoying playing! Jamil and you made a great duo and Floyd was too desmotivated to try to win, so that only left Ace as your major obstacle. He'd often try to get the ball from your hands while making some sassy remarks and engaging in light hearted banter with you. Even when you weren't with the ball he stayed close to try to block you. It came to a point when you were going to try to score a point when he appeared in front of you, close enough that you wouldn't have time to dodge him. So, of course, you had to maneuver your way out, getting close to his face as you made sure to keep his hands away from the ball. His attention was solely on you, gaze unwavering as your noses almost touched and your breaths mingled. He was frozen in place and you took your chance, jumping as high as you could and dunking the ball on the net.
Your team cheered you on, a huge smile on your lips as you turned to see Ace's reaction. He was standing at the same spot, still looking at you. You winked playfully and blew him a kiss, rubbing your victory on his face, proud of your work. He blushed and crossed his arms, saying that you cheated by distracting him. His gaze remained on the lower half of you face. Before you could reply, Jamil whisked you away, congratulating you on your shot.
It was good your team got hyped up, but alongside it so did Floyd. He suddenly felt motivated to play against you and see you try to dodge around him like you did with Ace, since it seemed like lots of fun! (Which would not happen because have you seen his height?) It's not like you had a choice in the matter, anyway, since Floyd could easily take down any member of your team and go straight at you now that he felt like playing again. The last minutes were more like a game of tag between you two, Floyd giggling as he tried to catch you. You ran around the players, trying your best to make a complicated path to confuse him. 
You were actually having some fun, seeing Jamil get the ball from Floyd's hands to help you out and Ace try to get in your way to slow you down. Still, you were not used to that much exercise, your sore body becoming your own enemy as you got more sluggish, which in turn made you get more distracted. It was thanks to that you didn't notice Floyd until he was right beside you, ready to glomp you and squeeze as he trapped you in his arms. You'd blame it on your tiredness later, but as a last effort to get away from him you turned around abruptly, supporting your weight on your heel. Since you were worn out, you got dizzy quickly, tripping over your own feet and landing on the ground.
As soon as you felt sharp pain on your ankle you knew you were screwed, a whine coming out of your throat and tears welling in your eyes. Why must something like this always happen to you? The boys crowded over you, asking if you were okay or if you could stand up or if you wanted a hug to feel better. The answer was no to all of them.
In the end, you saw yourself staring at the infirmary ceiling once more, sweaty and tired, your ankle wrapped in bandages and propped up on the bed. Maybe you should stop going to sports clubs' pratices. Ace, Jamil and Floyd stood by your side, watching you to make sure you were alright, in their own ways. You felt a strong sense of deja vu, though you were grateful for them carrying you all the way up there (even if Floyd took the opportunity to squeeze you some). You could tell for sure that basketball wasn't for you. Time to check out other clubs.
(To lift the mood, Ace cracked a joke about how terrible you were at basketball and how you still had a long way to go before reaching his level. Jamil agreed, adding that pratice makes perfect. Floyd said he had much more fun with shrimpy around to keep him entertained. It wss pretty obvious they wanted to see you there again. The three of them looked at you with hope, even if Floyd's puppy eyes didn't work nearly as well as Ruggie's and Ace's and Jamil's tsundere act didn't fool you, you couldn't say no to them. You did have some fun as well, although next time you'll try to only watch and cheer on the sidelines, no need to be on the playing field and within squeezing distance.)
Track and Field Club (Deuce, Jack)
Despite your previous conviction, you decided to give the sports clubs one last chance. As this club didn't involve a game with complicated rules nor any magic, it seemed like the best choice. Positive thinking is key!
As soon as you steped foot into the field, Deuce and Jack came to great you, visibly happy to have you there! (They won't admit it to you, but they were a bit jealous that you had went to your other first year friends' clubs but not to theirs yet. They were determined to impress you.)
You tell them you're a little worried you won't be able to keep up with their pace, since Deuce has won prizes for his speed and Jack goes on morning jogs everyday. They reassure you that it's no problem, they'll help you the best they can!
The other members don't mind you much, letting your friends monopolize your attention. Jack asks if you've eaten and how has your diet been, you'll need some energy to run! Deuce asks if your uniform is comfortable and if the shoes fit in the right way, it's important to be able to move freely! They are very respectful and answer any question you might have patiently, which makes you feel welcomed. Maybe this time it won't be so bad!
To start pratice, the club leader tells all the members to run some laps. You notice you're pretty behind everyone else, but you're trying to not use all your energy at the warm up, so you don't mind. You take the chance to observe your friends running ahead of you, how the sun reflects on their skin, their shoulders going up and down, every step helping them gain speed. They looked really cool. This fills you with determination, promising to yourself to give it your best in this club.
After taking a break to drink water and stretching your muscles, you start the dynamics. It was a bit funny since you did them by basically moving in circles and changing the way you walk. Still, they were easier to accompany everyone than the laps. So far, so good!
Things start going downhill once you had to do the jumps. Everyone lined up, you staying at the last place, Jack and Deuce right in front of you. They explain that you should sprint, jump at the wooden board and land on the sand pit. Seems easy enough! 
It's not. On Jack's turn, he makes it looks effortless, even with his bigger built he manages to land with grace. You clap for him and he pretends to not notice, but his tail is wagging. On Deuce's, he catches speed quickly and jumps high, landing on his feet and turning to look at you. You cheer for him, a big smile in face as he rubs the back of his neck and thanks you with red cheeks. 
You try to copy their moviments, sprinting with a concentrated look on your face, focused on your destination. Unfortunately, you should have looked at the ground as well, since when it was time to jump you were just a tad too slow and tripped on the wooden plank, falling on the sand pit. You try again, this time focusing on where you're putting your feet, not missing the plank! However, you jump with too much force and doesn't land right, bouncing off the ground again before falling on your knees. You try one more time, jumping at the right place and not putting to much force. This time, though, your feet are not positioned the right way and you loose the strenght to support your weight, eating sand once more. You're going to blame this one on your recently sprained ankle and call it a day. (Thanks Floyd!)
After getting no luck on the long jump (and leaving with your hair full of sand), Jack and Deuce make sure you're ok. You reassure them that yes, your ankle is fine (for now), no, you didn't swallow sand (at least you're pretty sure you didn't) and yes, of course you want to keep going, it's going to take more than just that to deter you (you're a bit used to defeats). Finally, you start to train for the high jump. Especifically the landing, since if you fall the wrong way you could get seriously hurt. Please make sure you land right! Jack and Deuce will be watching closely, ready to help.
Everyone gets separated to go to different mats, some of the older students going straight to the jump. Your friends follow you, Deuce has a fist up as he talks excitedly about his progress on this jump. Jack listens by the side, nodding to some things or adding a comment on how he didn't jump quite that high, but it was an improvement anyway. They are like your personal coaches, instructing you to start by doing rollouts, than jumping and doing a rollout, then jumping higher and doing a rollout.
Once the basics are covered they join you, taking turns at running and flopping on their backs. It's fun, the way your body bounces of the mat and watching Jack and Deuce compete on who can flop harder. They add the bungee, which makes things more complicated since you had to reach a certain heigh to not get stuck on it, but it was a nice challenge. You did lose your shoe due to your feet getting caught in the bungee on the first try, though.
You were enjoying it, laughing along your friends! Until they added the bar. The bar changed everything. The height was a bit higher than it was with the bungee and it was nowhere near as soft. You watched, in awe, as Jack and Deuce flew just over lt and landed on a rollout. You were sure you'd get it too, after all, you did great on the other steps! You ran, turned around and used as much impulse as you could to jump. Instead of the soft embrace of the training mat, you were met with the metalic and hard feeling of the bar digging on your back as you landed right above it. Not even the mat could soften the blow, making you cry out, both in surprise and in pain. The sting was enough to have you wondering if you ever wanted to try this again in your life, the pain was not worth it.
Deuce was by your side instantly, bending down, asking if your back was ok and offering his hand to help you get up. Your hand clasps his, the force he used making your faces come very close to each other, noses touching, your breathless and flushed face right in front of his worried blue eyes. Said eyes widen as his face takes a red tone, he stutters apologies while backing away, hands covering his cheeks. Jack, who you hadn't notice coming close behind you, puts his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. He says you went well for a begginer and tells you how Deuce did the same thing on his first try. You giggle, putting one of your hands above his to show your appreciation. He quickly drops it and crosses his arms, saying the three of you better get going to the next exercise, eyes avoiding yours and conveniently looking at where the others on the field were gathering together.
There were obstacles scattered across the field, some closer than others. Deuce puffs out his chest and says it's time for the hurdle hops and that he'll show to you how it's done. You watch intently as he sprints and jumps at all the right times, not losing speed despite the things in his way. Jack follows him, a stoic look as he calculates just the right time to jump and cross every obstacle. It reminded you of when you'd watch race competitions back at home, how the runners looked as they crossed the finish line.
Filled with nostalgia, you try to replicate your memory, basing yourself on your friends' perfomances. You run and jump successfully on the first hurdle, feeling as if you're really improving! Though not for too long, since on the second hurdle you don't manage to jump high enough and just end up kicking it and falling on your butt. Oh well, you lasted longer than expected.
You refuse to back down, getting up and dusting yourself, ready to try again. Deuce and Jack support your enthusiasm, hyping you up on every try. It's a bit embarrassing to have them watching and commenting like this, but you feel warmth spreading through your chest and a smile blooming on your face. It's good to know people trust your ability to improve and do better, and you're not about to let them down!
There's one time you trip when you're near the hurdle and end up slipping under it. Another time you jump too close to it and almost full body slam it, falling on top of it. Your feet catches onto the edge of one of the hurdles and makes you fall. You end up knocking over one hurdle, keep running and then falling due to your lost momentum and equilibrium. You stay on the ground, defeated, your body screaming at you after so many falls. It wouldn't be so bad to give up, right? You really did try.
Deuce and Jack carry you to a bench and take care of you, Deuce handing you some water while Jack cleans the scratches you got from meeting the floor so much. They don't rub it in your face about your defeat (like a certain red haired first year would) and try to encourage you to keep trying. (They were pretty worried when you didn't get up though. They wanted to be one of the clubs that didn't make up you end on the infirmary.)
To end pratice, everyone would do a long run. The boys tell you can skip it, since you are already very tired, not used to this much exercising, chest heaving up and down and breath coming as short puffs of air. Jack says it'll do you no good to overwork your body and end up collapsing, Deuce backing him up. Still, you're stubborn, and you already did everything, you might as well go until the end. So you tell them you'll be just fine and agree to the run.
You keep Jack's words in mind, making sure to not overexerte it. Instead of holding a full on sprint you settle on a lighter jog, making sure your breaths are somewhat regulated. This makes you stay very behind the others but you don't mind, everyone has their own pace after all. Deuce and Jack were close to you, since they had very obviously slowed down significantly to keep you company, and you greatly appreciated that, flashing them a smile. Deuce offers a thumbs up and Jack nods his head.
There is a part where you trip and almost fall, but thankfully Deuce catches your arm and manages to keep you upright while still in movement. Though you two get extremely close again, your foreheads even knock on each other's. Deuce gets red faced again, instead of fumbling with his words he fumbles with his feet, tripping and taking you with him as his grip tightens on your arm.
Jack comes to the rescue and stays in the middle, still running prefectly even after having used so much energy during pratice. Guess the daily jogs do work. You look at his back muscles contracting, his shoulders moving, his tail helping him keep equilibrium, feet touchig the ground for a moment before they're gone. He seems to notice the eyes on his back as he looks over his shoulder, head tilting in confusion in such an endearing way you can't help but tell him what you were thinkin, about how cool he looks and how he must have trained so much for this! He looks taken a bit aback, ears twitching and tail wagging. So much so, in fact, that due to your closeness and his thick fur, it hits you, and due to your tiredness and the position it hits, you end up falling once again. You're not even mad, honestly. It was the nicest fall you've had so far.
Congrats, you manage to finish the run! Although you're drenched in sweat, hair sticking to your forehead and throat dry, you did it! But Deuce and Jack won't look you in the eye and keep blushing for some reason, you start to wonder if they're down with a fever at this point. Anyways, as soon as the run is over you throw youself (gently) on the ground, taking large gulps of air and spreading and stretching your limbs. 
All in all it was pretty fun, even if you did get some scratches and lost whatever little dignity you still had. But you found yourself all sweaty and sore again, not to mention that you didn't think that track was for you. You plan to check other non sport related clubs later, but first, you deserve a break.
(Jack's tail keeps wagging and Deuce's smile is glued to his face. They mentally high five each other for a job well done. They had made you feel welcomed! And you enjoyed yourself! Such a shame you're not entering the club yet... remember to not fall out ot pratice in order to build stamina. Jack can help you with that, going on jogs with you! And you were so good at the high jump, not to mention you were almost getting the hang of the hurdle hops, so maybe next time you try will be the time you make it! Deuce can help you if you need! It's very clear what they wanted, and since they did do their best it feels right to give them a little reward, so of course you agree to come to another pratice eventually. Their smiles give you the force to strengthen your resolve, as you bid goodbye to any possible dignity you had left.)
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skepticalarrie · 1 year
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Hi Allie, I think I have seen you answered some questions about your experience in England recently and know that you are actually from Brazil. Do you speak English as a mother language or just learnt it in school and only use it on the internet or on studies/works? I ask this because I only use English on the internet and read the news and still I have so many unknown words to learn... I have also learnt another language in college, and I am really into languages but I just do not feel like remembering all the vocabularies. I would like to know your experience in languages since you speak both English and Brazilian Portuguese. If the question sounds too personal to answer, please just ignore me.
Hi, darling. No, it’s okay! I will be happy to help. I’m going to answer under the cut because that's a long one:
So, the thing is… I barely spoke any english until I was like 18, I think?! I learned a bit of english at school like everyone in brazil but, honestly, what we learn is not even enough to form a coherent sentence, is it? I think the internet (but mostly songs and video games) helped a little bit when I was younger as well but I never really felt interested enough to *actually* learn a language.
What pushed me to finally learn it properly and for good was my ex. He speaks surprisingly very good english since he was younger, so that motivated me a lot. So honestly, I just decided to put a lot of effort into it because I thought it would be something useful in the future for me. And I know it sounds cliché saying that but what is going to bring your english to the next level- especially in terms of vocabulary - is to really immerse yourself as much as possible. What worked for me was to do everything I already did in portuguese also in english. So… books, podcasts, movies, songs, youtube, twitter, etc etc. Really, everything! Learning a new language as an adult can be really tricky, it’s not easy, so the only way of building a solid foundation is to get in touch with it as much as possible. I never really learned english properly, to be honest… like, actually studying. It was from reading and listening to other people talk. Plus, I also travelled a lot during that time, so it helped to improve my speaking a lot as well. And then my ex was transferred to England and I wanted to do a postgrad course there so I had a goal in mind and I studied for the IELTS test and I did pretty well!! And obviously living there and going to uni made my english 100x better. I barely spoke any portuguese while living there. I think one of the main reasons why brazilians can’t speak good english most of the time it’s because we’re lazy 😂 we look for other brazilians to speak portuguese, we try spanish before trying english. And not doing any of that and immersing myself as much as I could was the best thing I did. And of course, university helped a lot, especially with having to write stuff on more of an academic level.
Right now my life is really confusing when it comes to that hahaha I’m back living in Brazil for four years already, and in the first two I completely stopped practising, I was soooo rusty!! When I realised that, I immediately tried to get back to the things I used to do before. So I *never* see anything with subtitles in portuguese, always english or no subtitles. I only read books in portuguese when they’re originally in portuguese, otherwise, I *always* get the english version. It’s the small things and the consistency, to be honest. Coming back to blogging also helped me so much! Now I talk with you guys every single day, so I’m always practising. It helps a lot! It’s important to practice expressing yourself in english and not only listening and reading it. My speaking, though, is kind of rusty because I don’t really practice as much as I should but oh well 🫠 Sometimes I use english at work, but it’s not something that is really required at my job, it’s just a convenience I guess. So I just try to make good use of it in other areas of my life as much as I can. I know sometimes is harder because it didn’t come naturally to me as it did for some other people.. I see younger people online now, and everything is so globalized! It’s so much easier to practice and learn it. So my advice to you, anon, is simply: practice practice practice! Especially if you still feel like you’re weak in vocabulary and you’re learning it as an adult.
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ad-elie · 1 year
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Meet the Linguist
as told by Marguerite Adélie Chrysanthe.
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Summary: In which Sato Akari gets in touch with her other side, wanting to figure out what Aunt Olga writes about.
2014,
Tokyo, Japan.
The beginning of
PHASE 3,
Akari is growing curious.
Ep. 8
Warning tags: dysfunctional family, toxic dynamics, abuse
Note:
Kinoshita Jun makes an appearance.
Sunada Mamoru is Jun’s roommate 1.
Yamashiro Shigeo is Jun’s roommate 2.
Adélie is still a university student.
There are many things she learnt about; art in form of music and dance. Among those things include foreign languages.
Unfortunately, outside of the Korean — Japanese — Mandarin languages which hold similar roots, she barely does anything else.
English is a given, in an international school. Her family makes sure of that. She also somehow feels easier about expressing her feelings in English.
Perhaps it is the lack of emotional ties to the language, but she just gets more comfort from the international language.
So when a handwritten journal belonging to Aunt Olga comes into her possession, she is filled with a new purpose in life.
Months before, she takes a few trips back and forth to visit Aunt Olga, who grows older and is even the one telling her to come for a last meeting.
One last time, as she says. Adélie sits by the elderly’s side and they discuss a lot of things, mainly Sato Olga encouraging her to have a good life.
“I only want you to be happy,” she had said, her smile seems to be harder to appear than usual, though the mischief in it is the same.
Brushing her thumb on Olga’s wrinkled hand, she sighs. It gets harder to hide her sadness, despite knowing her aunt had lived a good life.
Before it is time to leave, Adélie leans down to give Olga a kiss on the forehead, a silent goodbye in her despair.
“おばさん、大好きだよ.”
¹I love you, auntie.
It is a solemn ceremony, one where everyone bows her head and wipes their tear away with a handkerchief.
After all, Olga has lived long. It is not unexpected. Some even recall how the smart woman knows her time has come.
Wondering whether she should wait until the period of mourning to start the process or if it means respecting her aunt’s wishes, she eventually decides it is time.
Adélie needs to find a translator, one that wouldn’t care enough about her other alias: Sato Akari. A whole other life she lives.
While she might need to come up with a plan, for now, the lass has a class to attend. Off she goes.
The class theory is particularly easy, in terms of her getting to just sit and take notes instead of actively participating with improvisation.
“こんにちはみなさん!”
Getting through some theories and anatomical movements, such as footwork, Adélie bites on the top of her pen.
Sakura is seated by her side, where they usually spend time other than during practice. As the star pupil, Nakada is predicted to be the one who debuts from their class.
Going through a rambling lesson of communicative and artistic aspects of dance, their teacher sends them off with an essay to complete.
Making notes of what she needs to get done by next week, adding the assignment into her list, Adélie then packs up her things.
“See you at practice,” waving at her peer, who returns it with a brilliant smile that melts any jury’s heart.
Yamato sensei calls for her just before Adélie manages to escape with a flurry of other students.
“Would you be a dear and lend your notes?” She gestures towards one of the students left, who sits there, unamused.
Proceeding to explain about his recent disappearance beforehand, to which Adélie nods.
“It’s Kinoshita Jun,” the tall, quiet ‘Fujikawa’ says. “Somehow she always remembers me as Fujikawa.”
Offering a small chuckle and her note, she falls into steps by his side. Aware of fairly smaller stature, it is even made more clear with his height.
“Adélie,” she responds, then checks her watch. “You can return that on the next class. I have to go. Study group.”
He rises a hand, waving at her after slipping her notebook inside his binder. Without any other explanation, she vanishes by the corner.
“Seems like fate is pulling you back to me,” Jun’s tone is clear of seriousness. His keenness on teasing her is immense.
Adélie rolls her eyes, a faint smile fills her face. The other students nearby crane their neck in interest. “I doubt that. Yamato sensei does.”
This morning, at the next class, their beloved teacher announce a new group work, which would be in place until the semester ends.
Somehow, she gets her way of putting Adélie together with Jun. The lass wonder if their teacher spent the last week coming up with it.
“Alright,” she takes a moment to assess the upcoming lesson. “We should have more than enough time to get this done.”
Coming up with a plan, since a busy schedule is in place for both of them, she agrees on meeting tomorrow after class.
“I have practice until 5,” she had said, to which he responds about his own practice until 7. “How about 8?”
“Sounds good to me.”
By the time she heads out of practice, sweating and pulling her ponytail tighter, Adélie is glad to take a much needed shower.
“Hey,” Suzu greets Adélie, toweling her damp hair as the other girls chat about the routine.
Closing her locker, she smiles back. “Hi. Sensei seriously was in a mood.”
𝘈 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘥 refers to repeating each routine at least five times, all from the beginning with every wrong move from one student.
Suzu holds both of her hands up, tremors rippling through her limbs. “I know! My hands are still shaking.”
Inspecting her peer’s trembling fingers and offers a sympathetic smile. “Oh, my. I usually try to massage them for a bit.”
“I’ll give it a try later tonight, thanks,” Suzu opens her locker, changing into her hoodie and sweatpants.
“Heard about Yamato sensei’s assignment. Who did you get partnered with?”
“Jun,” she responds, tying her shoes and double-checking both ribbons are tight enough.
Suzu slams her locker shut, having just finished braiding her hair back. “Oh, the new guy. He’s from Europe, I heard.”
“I got Sakura,” the mentioned partner arrives, grinning as she hears her name. Adélie smiles at her fellow dancer.
“Talking about Yamato sensei? Heard she’s a bit strict, but grades fairly,” Sakura dries her hair, musing out loud.
Suzu’s dark eyes glint with sheer excitement. The wickedness means she is up to no good.
“Who told you that? Loverboy?“ Giggles erupt. It is no secret that Sakura happily flaunts her relationship with a senior.
When everyone filters out of the room, Adélie is among them. Suzu and Sakura announce they would work on the assignment and parts way.
A few hours later, she finds herself standing in front of Jun’s house. He lives off-campus with some roommates, which she finds out when a gorgeous modelesque figure opens the door.
“Hey,” he stares at her for a moment.
Adélie offers a small wave, pushing her awkwardness aside. “I’m here for Jun.”
“Kinoshita!” Seconds later, thankfully, Jun himself appears. His hair is dripping wet, clearly fresh from the shower.
Holding a towel against his hair, he regards her with an even stare. His glance finds the clock. “You’re early.”
“I’m right on time,” about ten minutes before their promised time, which to her, is in the nick of time.
Another Adonis figure splays on the couch, watching a game on the television. Goodness. She wonders if Jun’s friends are all that attractive.
Sunada Mamoru, the one who opens the door and Yamashiro Shigeo, the one lounging on the couch, as they introduced themselves.
“Hey, head on up. I’ll catch up,” by the third session, she is comfortable enough to waltz into his bedroom.
On the shelves by his desk, she sees the stack of books, written in Russian. While she might be unable to decipher it, Adélie stares at the novels.
Jun’s voice startle her. A part of her is glad she didn’t touch anything. That would’ve pulled her awkward side out. “Those are my grandparents’.”
Turning around, she hopes she didn’t jump in surprise. “Oh. Sorry.”
“No worries.”
For his credit, he doesn’t seem at all bothered. Simply plops down on the bed and starts skimming through the textbook.
“Just ask your question, Chrysanthe.”
Looking up from her book, a frown etch on her lips. “What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You have that serious thinking face on,” he remarks, his lips quirk in a charming smile. She gets why those girls talk about him.
For a moment, Adélie let the silence hang in between them. Jun doesn’t let on as well. She sighs, relenting.
“Do you speak Russian?”
Jun sets his book aside, regarding her with his full attention. Her brow raises slightly.
“Yes,” he nods slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Why do you ask?”
Adélie bites her lower lip for a moment. She eventually decides.
“Alright,” she toys with the leather end of her notebook. “Have you ever considered being a translator?”
His dark eyes glimmer in amusement. “No, that’s not a part of my dream job.”
Deciding she needs to stop beating around the bush, Adélie heaves a breath, tension rolling off her shoulders.
It’s now or never. The worst he could say is no. Well, maybe he’d taunt her and poke fun at her, but she can take that.
“Would you mind helping me with some translation?”
Jun regards her with an almost amused look, though her assessment could be way off and he is just enjoying this. Who knows.
“What’s in it for me?”
Giving him a look, gauging whether he is serious, Adélie goes through her mind. What could she offer him?
“I’m joking,” he explains, then something in his eyes shift, a moment of seriousness. “What do you need translated?”
“It’s a journal,” she starts, licking her lips. It suddenly feels dry. Adélie is rusty when it comes to talking about her family.
Jun taps a finger against the closed book, his gaze somber. “Mind if I ask why you need it translated?”
“My aunt left it for me when she passed,” Adélie decides to let him know that piece. He nods, mum.
Thankfully, he didn’t push. The lass was close enough to crawl back into her shell and seal it from any other proding.
“Just bring the journal the next time we meet, so I can get started on it,” was Jun’s parting words two hours later.
Their assignment for the day is finished and she is dying to head back for a quick routine before heading back home to Evelyn.
⠀⠀⠀
つづく。
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deardragonbook · 2 years
Text
Writing Reference: Minor age differences in relationships
It is surprisingly rare in the real world how many relationships consist of people the same age. (The older you get, the more rare it is, which makes sense as age is relative and what not). 
For today’s reference I’m focusing on a minor age gap. As usual I’ll be talking from experience so for context sake I’m 23 and my partner is 30. A seven year gap, pretty common especially where I am. I’m saying minor because it’s the average, but averages vary depending on locations and culture so take that in mind. 
With all this said, here’s a list of things that happen due to this age gap: 
1.- Different shows and music growing up, different games too! My first pokemon game was Diamond on the DS, my boyfriend was around to play pokemon red. That’s like, the first one! 
Similarly sometimes my boyfriends and friends start going of about an old show I’ve either never heard of, or binged as an adult because it wasn’t on television when I was a kid. 
Sometimes it’s the opposite and I start going on about a show they never saw because they were too old. Or shows that I watched they will laugh at because, when it was on television it was “little kid’s show”. 
This leads to both me and them discovering a lot of amazing new shows. I view this as a total positive. But if a relationship was not willing to give new things a chance, this could be a barrier, less things to talk about. 
2.- General different childhoods. I’ve had internet since I was like six or seven. My boyfriends grew up without it. If you’re writing fantasy, this can be replaced with any important technological advancement. 
Because of this specific one, I’m more technology dependant, I use an ipad instead of paper for example, where he is better at using dictionaries and maps. 
3.- Language differences. I’m fortunate enough to have grown up with plenty of terms that weren’t in use when my boyfriend was young. Some are technological, while other’s are mental health or sexuality related. Because of this when we’re discussing news I tend to speak in a more “politically correct” kinda way. 
This also affects expressions, I’m going to use an example in Spanish because I can’t think of an English equivalent, “Chachi,” is a word that means cool. There’s a lot of words like that in Spanish (Guay, mola, súper, lindo...). And it’s a term that my generation used a lot in High School, my boyfriend was older, didn’t use it and now it is not a normal part of his vocabulary. He’ll said mostly “mola”. 
It doesn’t really make a difference. It’s just a difference I’ve noticed and thought could be fun to implement in a story. 
4.- Fashions choices is obvious and I don’t think needs an example. 
5.- Playgrounds songs and games. It’s kind of upsetting that I have more overlaps with my little sister than most of my friends. But it’s also kind of funny. 
6.- Schoolling! This is a big one. We learnt different subjects, under different rules. Sometimes these differences are minor, back when he was in school he had to study religion. I studied ethics. But other times the entire educations system is changes so that now a degree is worth less and I am forced to not only consider but consider almost mandatory getting a masters degree. Thank you politicians. 
7.- Politics. We are one the same side of politics but the politics we have experienced and lived through are very different and that’s something you can tell when we talk and discuss stuff. I was too young when my country was in crisis to truly understand what was going on. It was just a word to me. He suffered the consequences. 
This one is probably the one that can be incorporated the best into a fantasy setting. And now that I’m thinking about it, I believe Poison Study did quite a good job at doing it. Not going to spoil anything too big, but basically there’s a big political incident that happens before the books and the main character barely remembers it, while the love interest lived it. I highly recommend you give Poison Study a read! It’s one of my fave books of all time (even though I haven’t read it in years). 
As usual,  check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.
Are you in a relationship with an age gap? What’s your experience? Feel free to add to this post! I sometimes struggle with what differences are due to age and which are due to culture so I left quite a few things out. 
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stephspurs · 3 years
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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction
hi guys and gals! Part 7 sees friendship strengthened, decisions being made and love ultimately hurting. As always, please enjoy the next part and let me know what you think is going to happen in part eight! I actually love hearing from you all so please don't be too shy to reach out and message me - I love a good chat LOL Love always, Steph xx
Part 7 | settima parte
warnings; love sucks man. word count;  1850 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. next update; Monday 09/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)! Tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven link to fic masterlist here
“bella amelia, cosa ho fatto per meritarmi questa telefonata?” (beautiful amelia, what did i do to deserve this phone call?) Jorginho spoke his second-native tongue down the line to the British girl, calling him way past her self-appointed bedtime of 9pm.
“Jorgi, ho bisogno del consiglio di un amico” (Jorgi, i need the advice of a friend). Amelia, almost desperately, pleaded down the line to the boy who became her therapist.
It had been a few days since Amelia & Jack’s facetime where they sat and listened to the countless offers the successful girl had waiting in her voice message inbox. Being the person that she is, Amelia needed to distract herself from obsessing over the messages so she threw herself into her job. Spending too many hours over her paid allocation at Juventus training ground, getting administrative work done for the season ahead.
Was this her way of nesting? Or empty-nesting? Was she subconsciously preparing the club and her boys for life without her? Getting them ready with a season's worth of set pieces and tactical plays that would secure them an outstanding 37th victory? On the flip side, was she preparing for her new role in England which she had yet to accept. There was no harm in her taking her intellectual property back over to the motherland. The two clubs did not compete in the same tournaments, perhaps only the Champions league - but who's to say that whatever club she does pick will make the Champions League? There was no doubt Juve would be there - all of her preparation would ensure they would be. Whoever took over her role simply just had to show up and keep the boys in line.
“ok tesoro, parlami.” (Ok darling, speak to me). The Italian settled onto his couch, espresso in hand, waiting to hear the younger girl's problem.
“So I've spoken with Kyle & Jack now, and have told them of my predicament. They both are very heavily favouring one side - but I need a voice of reason. If you happen to express the same sentiments that they both did, then maybe that's all of the reassurance I need to make this final decision.” Amelia switched back to her native tongue.
After spending the better part of an hour discussing in great depth the offers that she was receiving from the 5 english clubs, Amelia felt just as confused as she did before calling the Chelsea boy. No surprise that Jorgi was team Come to the Prem & Join Chelsea, but the italian midfield maestro had also brought her back down to earth from cloud nine and reminded her of what, or who, she was leaving behind.
“Now I don't like telling you what to do, but you need to discuss this with Fede, Amelia. He doesn’t deserve a lot of things, but this is something he does.”
So that's where Amelia found herself the next morning. Sunday’s in Italy were reserved for espresso and long walks in the sun. This particular Sunday must have been reflective of the internal turmoil she was facing, uncommon for the season, the sky above her was overcast and a light drizzle had started to set in on her walk to the charming Italian’s townhouse.
______________________________________________________________
“pensavo fosse un mito che gli inglesi portino con sé il tempo the” (i thought it was a myth that british people bring the weather with them) Fede said as he opened the door, and his arms, while looking down the two steps at me.
“Very funny” I said as I gave him a hug. He always was so good at hugs. I’m going to miss them. Snap out of it Amelia - you don’t even know if you’re going to go yet. Oh she knows she's going. She also knows what club she's going to. No she doesn't, you be quiet. I’m here rooting for her Italian romance. If I had an angel and devil on each shoulder, their conversation would speak my internal monologue as such.
Walking through to his kitchen, putting on a coffee and saying hello to his dogs, Fede stood in the doorway and watched me move around his kitchen as though it was my own.
“I’m convinced you got British bulldogs because you just can’t help but love the English” I cheekily smiled up at him from my crouched position in the middle of his kitchen, giving the two bullys the best head rubs.
“Sure, you keep thinking that Amelia” Oh, the way he says your name Amelia, so foreign, so romantic. He says it the same way any other Italian would say it, he’s nothing special. Be quiet, let them have their moment.
“Lets go and enjoy these out in the courtyard, is your sun shade still up? It should hold out the rain right?” Amelia spoke rushedly as she poured two espresso cups and walked towards his back door.
“Tesoro, why are you so unsteady today? Is something troubling you?” Fede spoke worriedly, noticing my little nervous habits coming out to play and speaking faster than my mind could comprehend. Better to just get this over with i think, for once we agree on something.
“Ok i need to tell you something, and i need you to let me get it all out before interrupting me. Can you do that? This is something i’ve been working up the courage to speak out loud, let alone speak it to you”
Fede took a sip of his espresso, holding my eye contact, before putting his cup back on its saucer and leaning forward, elbows on his knees. He thought he was ready for what i was about to say, expecting it to be yet another long winded speech as to why i want to put a label on our situationship. Oh boy, how wrong he was.
“After the success of the european tournament, i have received a lot of praise and recognition for my skills”
“And you deserve every bit of it amore, every bit and even more” Oh dear, could my heart hurt anymore?
“Fede, I asked you not to interrupt me…”
“Ok ok, sorry, continue”
“So, I have received a lot of recognition both here in Italy as well as from my home country of England. In saying that, I have received a few offers from clubs in the premier league that want me to bring my approach, the italian approach, to the english game. It's a real step up in my career and it's something I am seriously considering. I’ve spoken with some of the boys back home and also Jorgi, they all think that this is the next step for me. I’m far too comfortable here, I can't grow in my comfort zone. I think I'm ready for a new challenge.”
I held eye contact with the 27 year old, I wasn’t about to let him know just how vulnerable I was feeling here in front of him. Something Fede could always do was read me, and read my emotions. If he knew how exposed I felt, how easily I could be swayed over this decision, then he would make it his life's mission to do so. I had made my mind up that I was going, but there was also a part of me that decided if he was to give me what I was after I would be open to the possibility of staying.
“So it seems that you have asked for the opinion of everyone else in your life, and made your decision, before even considering mine.” He slumped back in his chair, and rubbed two fingers over his lips while looking off into the small courtyard garden.
“Fede, I have made my decision. But I wanted to talk to you about it, I owe that to you. You have made my time here so memorable, so fantastic, so filled with love that I wouldn't even consider not including you in this.”
“Is there anything I can do to make you stay? Do you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend? To tell you I love you? To move in with me? Let me know what you need from me to reconsider this decision” He began to get frustrated with me, pulling the cap off of his head and running his fingers through his hair.
“That’s exactly it Fede! I don’t want to ask you to do that, you should ask me to be your girlfriend on your own! I don't want you to tell me you love me if you think that's what I want to hear - I want you to feel like you love me! I don’t need anyone to tell me what I want to hear, what I want to hear is what you truly feel. And if there is something i have learnt about you in the last few years is that you can’t hold back your feelings with anything! If you were in love with me it would have burst from you a long time ago. I think that you do love me Fede, but as someone to come home to instead of no one at all.”
“You know Fede, i don’t have any regrets over this. You mean just as much to me now as you did the very first time we crossed that boundary and blurred the lines. You’re just my type, you only call me late at night, you can’t decide if you’ll be your own man or mine. I hate to say it, but you really are just my type. This decision has nothing to do with you, it’s something i have come to make all on my own.”
I had stood up now, looking down at the 27 year old. I needed him to understand exactly what I was saying, how serious I was. This was the moment I could get it all off my chest, instead of just letting the relationship play out on his terms.
“I leave on Friday, I let the club know this morning. There's nothing that can be done now Fede, this is my decision. Please respect it, and me”
He stood up, his almost 6’1” frame towering over me. Looking down, face of steel, I could see everything I needed behind his eyes.
“hai ragione ti amo Solo non nel modo in cui meriti di essere amato” (you're right, i do love you. Just not in the way you deserve to be loved). He pulled me into his chest, both arms wrapping around the back of my shoulders, left hand holding my head in the crook of his neck. My arms wrapped around his back from below his arms, holding him tight enough that they crossed over and I could grab the sides of his rib cage. This was the closure I needed.
“I’ll give Jorginho a call and make sure he looks out for you”
“How do you know what club I'm going to?”
“I saw the way your eyes sparkled when you mentioned its name, it was the same sparkle that used to come out when you said mine…”
Part 8. | parte otto
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manonamora-if · 2 years
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A few weeks ago, I posted by retrospective on MtP, 6 months after I uploaded it on Itch. Today, as promised, it's CRWL. Again, long post under the cut.
If you have not yet played Crimson Rose & White Lily, you can check out its game post HERE.
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So from the get-go, CRWL did much better than MtP (and other further projects so far. It blew up much earlier, was played much more (still is) and is still doing quite well. It hit some major milestones pretty quickly (like 1k play within a month, 5k after about 4-5). I don't know how major IF games are doing compared to this one, but I'd say CRWL is doing pretty good all things considered.
On to the stats!
Game Statistics
Language: English (the game is going to be too large for translation).
Word Count: 24k for the Prologue and Chapter 1, without code.
Story Length: about 20k for the Prologue and Chapter 1.
Playtime: 30min to 1h.
Endings: 2, one that will continue in Chapter 2, the other makes the game restart.
Program: Twine w/ Sugarcube.
Current Version: V 1.5 (Prologue + Ch1 re-writes + bug fixes)
Online Statistics
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While MtP never broke the hundreds of daily plays, CRWL has multiple times, from a couple of days after it was released to subsequent updates. The curves and pics between the views and plays are much similar as well, with an average ration of 2 views per play. As for the mini-timeline, there are about three periods: Release, Hiatus and Return/Re-Release).
The game was published on Jul-16. The game post was quickly rebloged by @/interact-if and a lot more people (thank you!). Since I had teased the game a while before I released it, it helped people know that this project existed and get excited about it. I am not really sure about the peaks in the beginning of August, though it was around the time I revealed the Romance Options, so maybe it was that?
Starting mid-August, I kinda went on hiatus, so it explains the lower numbers, but not the random peak late August. (I was not really online, so I don't know.)
End of October, I came back, which is the little increase. And End of November, I re-released Chapter 1, with its shiny new polish (where I announced that I broke the game, so peeps had to play it again). There was also a bit more activity throughout December as a whole, since I think I was more active on Tumblr (or not, cause who knows :P)
In the past 6 months, this game has been viewed almost 16k times and played almost 8k times (most downloads are mobile plays, others are when I uploaded each new versions of the game). It has been rated 26 times, for an average of 4.9/5 and commented 9 times (the other comments are my replies). People also added this game to 650 collections.
After MtP where I didn't spend more than 2 months on this project, CRWL has been a huge difference in terms of time put in it (more so since I started working more on Chapter 2). This project has blown away all of my expectations as it reached higher and higher milestones. I have rewarded myself with many, many, treats thanks to it! And it's not over yet!
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I learnt some stuff with CRWL, like with MtP. So not to repeat myself, I won't include stuff that was in the other retrospective. Yay! A whole bunch of new lessons I was forced to learn!
Lesson 1: Planning is everything
You don't have to plan everything down to the letter when creating a large project, or you will likely end up getting stuck and frustrated with it. BUT no planning will make your story go all over the place. Structure is important and help you know where you are going with the plot or your characters.
Some authors will plan the whole story in advance before sitting down and actually write it. Others will just plan some important moments and build the story around. Do whatever works for you. I planned the current chapter I am working on with a vague outline of where events/actions are supposed to happen, and get deeper with notes/actual writing after that. I will put aside ideas for future chapter and consequences of these actions for future-me when she starts a new chapter. (I rely too heavily on future-me)
Lesson 2: Choices need to be made
You can't include all of your ideas. No matter how hard you try, it is either not feasible or not worth it for your stories. If I listened to my excited brain, I would not make any progress on the writing, my chapters would be a complete mess, and I would breakdown from not managing to code some stuff. (spoiler alert: this was one of the reason I took a break in Aug-Oct).
So you need to cut things, to cut words, to cut ideas. Which is a bummer, I know. But your story will thank you for it. And who knows, maybe you will be able to include it later.
One neat trick that helped me was to write down on a separate file/paper all of the ideas that came to my head as I was working on Chapter 2. When I was done with a scene, I would look back and see if those ideas could be implemented, if they were needed, and if they were possible. I ended up deleting a bunch as the story just went a different way.
Lesson 3: Proofreading is no joke. Just do it.
So after my little hiatus, I played my game again, just to get into the juice to start the next Chapter. And oh boi was I in for a surprise. Ya girl didn't check for typos or weird turns of phrases before she uploaded her game. Gosh was I red in shame. So much so I just did not finish reading and went back to revamping it instead.
Proofreading is hella important. Don't just upload your first or second drafts (I am guilty of that one too). That goes for testing it too. Beta testing is great, because people will try to break your game (in a good way) to find the errors still in there.
Do it by yourself, or get the help of others. In any case, this step is more important that I thought it would be...
Lesson 4: Find a way to track EVERYTHING
Choices, variables, characters, etc... Whatever it is, track it. Use a program, or go old school with paper, just do it. There were things that I completely forgot about when I started re-working Chapter 1, some details that would probably seem important but that would have just end up as a lost sentence. (I completely forgot that the MC has a huge scar on their leg...)
It helped me with consistency in the events progress, who said what to the MC, who is supposed to know what... I might end up with repetition when MC talks with different characters about one topic, but at least it will be consistent with these characters.
Also variables! Especially their names. I have a file just for the different names and what they refer to, so I don't have to look around every passage to find their name.
Final Lesson: When overwhelmed, take a breath and do you.
So, your game is doing pretty well, the numbers keep going up and people seem to really like what you've done. Great! Now you feel the pressure of disappointing everyone with the next instalment. Yaaaaay...
I was (and still am) really happy and grateful about the reactions I got from CRWL when it came out (and still since). But it pretty much got to my head. And it still does sometimes. Especially as I have pushed the upload of the new chapter again and again since my break.
Something that helps me is to just take a break from the numbers and the comments, and just focus on what I want to do with this project. I have to remind myself that some people will like it and some won't. At the end of the day I just need to be happy with what I put out into the world.
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My process working on CRWL has been the continuation of how I worked on MtP, with some changes that made life easier (or more frustrating, depends). I have put a lot of hours on this project, and want to put a lot more of myself in it going forward. It has been quite invigorating for me to work on something more complicated, and just use my brain for something than just mindless entertainment (which is not bad, just something I would do way too much for my sake).
I think the thing that I regret the most was not taking a break earlier (before the Hiatus) and dive into a new project right away (EC and then TTTT). I also became so obsessed with some scene that I didn't manage to write that I couldn't fall asleep because it would just replay in my head over and over. I think I am managing it better this time around.
Also, I kind of lied in my last update... The game is going to be broken again with the new Chapter... I had to add some stuff and fix some macros (sorry....)
--
Play Crimson Rose and White Lily on Itch.io. If you enjoy it, consider rating it here and on the IF database, as well as like and reblog its Tumblr masterpost. Consider following it main blog too @crimsonroseandwhitelily.
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rallamajoop · 3 years
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How (not) to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan (and other things I cannot believe I spent so much time tracking down for a throwaway joke in a Witcher slash-fic)
Buried in chapter 4 of my fic Something Nice is a joke which, as much as it amused me, no-one else is going to get unless I explain it. So here we go.
For the last few people in this fandom who haven't heard yet: The Witcher 3's vampire-language is Etruscan. To my knowledge, there's never been an official statement from CDPR to confirm this, but the evidence (ie. that basically all the vampire vocab can be found in online Etruscan sources) seems pretty solid. To explain why this made me go oooooh that's so NEAT, we need a little context.
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Context!
The Etruscans (in my admittedly far-from-expert understanding) were a people who lived in Italy back before the Romans got around to conquering-slash-assimilating the rest of the peninsula, and the language they spoke is one of the most frustratingly mysterious of the ancient world. Most dead languages are at least related to something modern linguists have a decent handle on, but Etruscan seems to have been related to almost nothing else spoken – it may even have pre-Indo-European roots (a whoooole other tangent I am in no way qualified to cover).
Surprisingly, we do owe our modern Latin alphabet in part to the Etruscans, since the earliest Roman alphabets were adapted from the Etruscan (who got it from the Greeks, who got it from from the Phoneticians, and so on). The Etruscans may even be the reason we're stuck with so many weirdly redundant K-sounds (not only K and C, but X and Q, which are really just 'ks' and 'kw' with an overblown sense of superiority).
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But being able to sound out every surplus K-word from an Etruscan inscription isn't much help nowadays when there are no surviving Etruscan dictionaries to tell us what it actually means – not even a decent Etruscan Rosetta stone to give us a push-start. So while modern linguists may rattle off Ancient Greek fluently or puzzle out Egyptian hieroglyphs from thousands of years before the Etruscans even had an alphabet, the Etruscan vocabulary available to us nowadays remains embarrassingly limited. Bits have been figured out from context or thanks to loanword exchanges with their neighbours (plenty of ancient Greeks and Romans certainly spoke Etruscan, even if they failed to write it down), but a lot is still as mysterious to the experts as it would be to you and me.
So why to I love the idea of using Etruscan as the Witcher’s vampire-language so much? Basically, if you want a language that will sound both old and reliably alien to anyone listening to it – be they the mainstream English-speaking market or the original Polish-language audience – Etruscan is a damn good call. You're not going to have much vocabulary to draw from, but it's not like there's a lot of vampire-chatter in the game anyway. It's a cool little easter egg for fans nerdy enough to try and figure out what they're saying.
Translations and Sources
You aren’t going to find a lot of great Etruscan language sources on the web – few of the easily-discovered online sources on Etruscan vocab appear to have been updated within the last ten years, and lord knows how consistent some of these are with current scholarship (let alone how sure linguists can be about anything with a task like this). All the same, have some links you may find useful:
Etruscology – Brief, but more readable than most
Lexicons.ru Etruscan Glossary – Probably one of the best collections of many terms in one place
Maravot.com Etruscan Language pages – Hard to navigate, but gosh there are a lot of vocab here I have not seen elsewhere
Old, Tripod-hosted Etruscan Glossary – I think these are mostly just the same terms from the Lexicons page, but in harder-to-use format
Etruscan word search – Decent, but not the most extensive vocab
Introduction to the Etruscan Language – Looks to be from Maravot.com, but in pdf format
Paleoglot.com’s Etruscan tag – Blog by an actual linguist who regularly discusses Etruscan material, and who even created their own translation applet! – which was, unfortunately, in flash, and is thus no longer usable. (There is a certain irony that even the tools available online to help you understand Etruscan are written in a language that is now no longer supported or understood by any modern browser.)
Not that translating what’s in the game is going to be easy, oh no. Take, for example, the oh-god-please-don't-kill-me ceremonial greeting Geralt has to offer to the Unseen Elder to survive that meeting – "Eclthi, lautni ama".
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'Eclthi' is apparently a "demonstrative (locative)" (’here’, ‘there’, etc). "Lautni" is trickier – it means a freed slave, but may also imply a familial relationship or a client of sorts, while the root “lautn” apparently designates simply “possession.” House slaves in the ancient world were often considered part of the family, and freed slaves were an important class in many ancient cultures, who often maintained relationships with their former masters, so you can see the internal logic, but what sense was the Witcher using it in? It’s hard to know.
"Ama" is possibly worse – most translations seem to have taken it as "to be", but sometimes also “to love”, or even "now" or  "meanwhile." Then you hit the question of Etruscan grammar, and I have no idea where I’d even start. So, with a little creativity, you could probably translate that phrase as anything from "take this and consider me a friend" to "meanwhile, this is family" to "a demonstration of love from your slave." I mean, you've got the same general theme going there regardless, but there's a lot of ambiguity in the inflection.
For what it's worth, I feel garasham's translation efforts are easily the most convincing I've seen – they have the above line as “Here I am a slave / a friend / kindred” FWIW. (Mind you, given the wiki doesn't even try to do more than offer you one possible meaning for each word, there's not exactly much competition out there).
So, bringing this all back to that fic and how to say ‘fuck’ in Etruscan...
I've already gone to the web's Etruscan dictionaries once while I was writing Forget-Me-Not, seeking inspiration for a 'real' name for "the Queen of the Night" from the first Witcher game. Neither 'queen' or 'night' got me far, but the Etruscans did apparently have a goddess of the moon called 'Aritimi, Artume or Artames', which worked pretty well. If anything it's almost too close to the better-known Greek goddess Artimis, who was obviously a relative (ancient cultures bleed into each other even when they're not bleeding all over each other, nothing new there), but I'm not going to be picky.
However, being a) a giant nerd, who b) writes a lot of smut, and c) is no more mature deep down inside than the rest of us, I couldn't resist seeing if I could find some slightly more obscene vocabulary. Did the Etruscans have a word for, say, 'fuck'?
Alas, if they did (and I mean, they totally did, c'mon), the web wouldn't tell me about it. Nor could I find much else relating to sex or genitalia (male or female), or even a decent word for 'thrust'.
On the flipside, there were a couple of different terms meaning 'plough'. And anyone who's played – well, any of the games, but especially Witcher 2 – would probably realise exactly why that filled me with so much glee.
Speaking of which, here, have a picture which is in no way related:
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The fact that the various Etruscan terms meaning ‘plough’ could also apparently be translated as things like “to worship“ or “to act through movement, including ritual acts,” or that an important mythological figure was “a prophetic child who sprang from a freshly plowed furrow” was in no way discouraging.
The word I ultimately picked was 'esari'. Admittedly, variations on the prefix ‘ar-’/‘ara-’/’aras’ were much more consistently attested to throughout the various online Etruscan dictionaries as ‘terms meaning plow’, but figuring out how to convert an Etruscan prefix into a satisfying word is officially where even my enthusiasm for all this nonsense gives out. Esari was, by comparison, already a much more solid-sounding term, so let’s go with that.
Why go to all this trouble anyway? Well, the honest answer is “entirely for my own amusement”, but the nominal excuse comes right back to “so I could give Regis and Geralt this little exchange during a sex scene.”
"Unless you have any particular objection," said Regis, moving to straddle Geralt's body, "I thought we might engage in some esari... hm, what was the equivalent term in your language again?" The vampire leaned in close to Geralt's ear as he made a show of remembering his answer, "Ah, yes—I thought I'd fuck you."
Never let anyone tell you you never learnt anything from porn!
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annetteblog · 3 years
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Intro & My take on KM
Hi!
I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.
Who /the hell/ Am I?  
(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)
I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.
How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter
Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 
Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 
Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 
Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:
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Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/
I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 
I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)
After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.
Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.
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                                       /as I said - the beauty/
I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how
As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.
So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)
But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 
This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 
Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   
So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.
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                                                    Pure Art
However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy
Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 
P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha
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soracities · 4 years
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Hello sweet heart, do you have some advice on how can I improve my writing skills and my English vocab ? Thank you and have a good day 💕💕
I’m not sure what kind of writing skills you’re looking to develop, if it’s academic, creative, or just personal so this may be very vague and simplistic but the first thing for me is always: read, read, read. Anything and everything, from everywhere. Read thinkpieces, read reviews, read news articles, read personal essays, critical essays, experimental fiction, regular fiction, non-fiction — the point is to just read and read often and widely whenever you can on whatever topics take your fancy and interest you most; it can be anything from pop music to eels, it doesn’t matter — what matters is that you challenge yourself, but also enjoy the process by including things you like reading about. Podcasts or radio programmes can also be really helpful in terms of new vocab and will also add some variation into the mix so you don’t burn yourself out.
Along with this, though, I think the most important thing is that you also need to engage with your reading as much as you can. Keep a notebook where you jot down new words or phrases — their meanings, examples of them in a sentence, some synonyms etc., — that you like, and then use them, over and over again. If the new word you’ve learnt is “cantankerous” then see how many times you can use that instead of “argumentative” or “bad-tempered”, or dedicate a journal to writing out passages that incorporate your new words. It may feel a little ridiculous and unnatural at the start but it’s the best way for your brain to get acquainted with a word’s particular grooves and motions and therefore actually remember it. It’s a little like a dance with a stranger — neither of you know each other, but before you can glide around smoothly and intuitively you need to learn the feel of one another and pay attention to how the other moves. Keep it as manageable as you can — it doesn’t matter if you’re only noting down two words or even one word a week — the point is that you work at your pace and get acquainted enough with the word that you feel confident enough that you can use it. At the end of the week (or alternatively or every 5 or  6 words), revise them all and as time goes by keep dipping in to different pages at random and see if they are still as familiar a few weeks or months down the line.
I go on about this a lot, but I think it also helps if you keep a diary or journal for yourself where you can practice your writing skills by responding to the things you’ve read — they can be personal reviews or mini essays, even just a paragraph of two, it doesn’t matter so much as long as you have an active component to your learning and a way to work directly with the things you’ve read. They don’t need to be polished or dazzling; all you need is to have a space where you can work out your own thoughts while learning and absorbing things like sentence structure, tone, etc.
This is all I can really say, so I’m sorry that it can’t be more help, but I do hope you find something here, anon x
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sintreaties · 3 years
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The first thing to keep in mind, is that the OC has to be coherent with the story and the setting. You need to slip them in your fic in the same manner you would add a different species of fish in Kirari’s aquariums, that is, seamlessly and without much racket. They have to be weaved in the background and plot without disrupting the setting, but at the same time they can’t just be soul-less puppets, ready to be discarded as soon as you’ve used them for your plot-points.
These are the main pieces of advice I can give:
1) make sure you know who your characters are and why the story needs them
2) use the narrative technique of “show, don’t tell” to make them come alive in your stories
3) refrain from using excessive flashbacks, dialogues and descriptions.
4) practice, practice, practice and have fun
I will now talk about all of this a bit more in depth.
Let’s start with the character itself.
In order to create an OC you have to ask yourself:
1) what is their purpose in terms of plot
2) how do their actions and existence influence the world around them
3) how many times they appear.
In a word, you have to know how relevant they are to your story.
The more relevant they are, the more you should work on their thoughts, speech, actions, backstory and appearance in order to give them the same depth as the canon characters. You should also remember, that technically characters like Grandma Bami aren’t OCs. Their personalities and looks might be original, but for the rest, they already have a place in canon, even if we don’t see much of it, so you have to pay more attention in order to ground them and make them believable.
Keep in mind that your characters are more than a face and a plot-point, that relationships can be paradoxical and varied and that every person has flaws and strengths. Now you should be good to go.
Once you’ve decided on who the OC is and what they do, it’s time to weave those characteristics into the narration. Of course everyone has their own way of narrating their stories and everyone has different reasons to use an OC. Here are some of the examples in my fics.
In Of Thorns and Petals, Sayaka briefly mentions her parents to Kirari. In particular, we know about her mother's job and that she was always quite busy and distant. We learn more about this when Sayaka compares herself to her through a brief recollection: Sayaka remembers her talking on the phone, pressing it between her shoulder and ear while she cooks, like a real woman (meaning a functioning adult). This is meant to show the nuances in Sayaka's relationship with her mother: Sayaka looks up to her as as role model, and at the same feels her distant because she was always too busy to build a proper relationship with her.
Althought we won’t see Sayaka’s parents for God only know how many chapters, it was important to mention them now in order to establish that they exist, so the reader won’t be confused to see them at a second time and they won't feel out of place when Sayaka (and the narration) will require their presence.
Another OC of mine is Naosuke. Naosuke is merely a servant of the clan. In In the Shade of the Orchard we learn about his story, but his main function as narrator was to allow us to learn about Grandma Bami, about her cruelty and at the same time about all the characteristics that made her a woman worthy of admiration. In later works like OTAP he's a connection between past and present, between what the twins used to be when Grandma was around, and what they've become. He offers a contrast too, between the hatred they have for her and the reluctant admiration and devotion he always felt (i.e. Kirari suspects him of bringing her peaches when she goes to visit her Grandmother in Blood's Sickness).
Although Naosuke is now a background character in most of my fics (AUs and not), you don’t need to read In the Shade Of The Orchard to know who he is. We get to know everything we need about him at the right time through the right dialogues, actions and recollections, without disrupting the present narrative.
Naosuke and Sayaka’s parents are both examples of a “show, don’t tell” style of narration. Although it might take some practice, I believe this is the best style when it comes to introducing OCs, as it feels more natural.
See it as a painting and every detail is a brush stroke that will bring the composition together: Kirari recollects that her father often looked tired; and that the same tiredness often turned into something very similar to fear when he came out of Grandma’s office. Today, in the present moment, he doesn’t smile often and he never shows himself proud of her, notwithstanding all of her accomplishments (meaning, he sees too much of Grandma in Kirari and it’s taking its toll on the relationship between them). Here you have the portrayal of a weak, tortured man and his change throughout the years. You only need to give him a fitting appearance, perhaps bright blue eyes that look older than what they are.
Want to introduce an OC that has no real, possible connection to canon? Work in the same manner and make up everything you need.
The man sitting before Sayaka keeps playing with a lighter. He doesn’t look scared or nervous, but he has his own kind of restlessness. His eyes are indifferent and there are deep shadows under them; his hair is clean and cut, just like his nails, but there’s the first hint of a beard under his chin. Sayaka thinks that his suit looks too new, as if the price tag is still behind his neck.
Later on, when Kirari will arrive, she will amiably ask him if his flight went well, and he will tell her that her cousin was very clear in her instructions.
In a few lines we learnt that this man smokes or has a connection with fire, that he looks after himself but that Terano forced him to fly to Hyakkaou in such a hurry that the only way to make himself presentable was to buy brand new clothes, plus that Kirari isn't surprised to see him, so she probably knows him.
Kirari, Sayaka and John Doe himself will tell you this. I, as the narrator, am merely showing you their thoughts, words and appearance.
What you shouldn’t do in order to achieve the same result is use paragraph after paragraph of flashbacks and dialogues. In the first case, you will interrupt the flow of the narration, detaching the reader from the present; in the second one you might lose their interest.
When working on descriptions in general, be sure not to exaggerate. If you sap the subtext, you will only bore the reader (remember all those Jane Austen character descriptions? XVII Century English literature wasn’t that fun because the writers passed too much time telling us about each damn piece of clothing on their characters). Consider that most people don’t even notice each other’s eye color unless there’s something peculiar about it.
Last but not least, the more you get acquainted with your OC the better your narration around them will become, most importantly if you enjoy what you’re doing. There’s an intimacy between me and Naosuke; built on the fact that I and only I know most of his feelings and thoughts, only I know how he could react in a certain situation or not. When I think so much about it, it is extremely satisfying to bring all of that in my stories. Naosuke came to life first because I needed a “walking camera” and second because I was having a lot of fun writing him.
If it’s your first time writing an OC, don’t be afraid to come up with a Mary Sue. Humans are complicated even in fiction and only through practice (and reading) you might learn how to avoid certain mistakes sometimes.
Remember that it’s fanfiction. Be happy first, worry about technique later. Don’t be afraid to write as much as you can about anything you want and don't get discouraged if you can't write like James Joyce right off the bat.
I hope my answer and the examples I provided were useful. If you do end up writing something, please let me know!
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queenofallwitches · 3 years
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an update and primer:
so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.
learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.
brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.
also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.
neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.
other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).
Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.
one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"
which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.
I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:
I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words
from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).
I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.
now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"
I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".
when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.
which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.
I'm not joining or jumping to anything.
either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.
just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.
it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?
I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".
so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.
my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.
I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".
I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.
I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).
bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.
this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.
I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.
I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.
attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.
im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but
I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".
both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.
I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.
I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.
but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.
I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.
I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.
I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.
I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.
I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.
I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.
I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.
I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.
but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.
but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.
few cross that.
that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.
and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.
and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.
in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.
I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.
I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.
but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.
I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.
I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.
I am experimental.
and the women who are judging me, are not any better.
look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.
I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.
I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.
I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.
I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.
if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.
I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.
I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.
I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.
I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.
I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.
I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.
I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.
I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.
I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.
I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.
I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.
I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.
it's a journey.
I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.
I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.
only to be misconceived.
I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.
that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.
I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.
I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.
I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.
I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.
I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.
thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.
my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.
enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".
I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.
I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.
take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.
I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.
I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.
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rumor-imbris · 3 years
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To keep your mind busy while you're in a train.
Besides Connor (your sweetheart) do you like another assassin?
Any future fic of Mary and Connor?
Which part you find it difficult: the writing of the novel or the research on how it was the New World in the 18th Century?
~From the fatina 😊 ✨
Giulietta, my sweet fairy! Here I am, I'm sooo late, sorry! Connection was really bad on board the train because of the many tunnels, then I was tired to death and fell asleep! UoU zzZ So, thank you so much for your ask. Wow, how many questions! Let's start...
1. Ezio was the one who started it all for me, he was my mentor ^-^ righ before I found my soulmate in the Mowhak Valley (▰˘◡˘▰) So, yes, I can say a very affectioned one is Ezio; like for anyone else, I guess, he enters your heart, makes you a novice and never leaves you. I also had a big crush on him in the beginning, (again like everybody!) but you know I'm very jelous by nature, so it couldn't work between us xD!!! And then you came and he fell for you! Oh, and his sister Claudia! i think she's amazing and I'm one of those poeple who think she deserved a spin-off game! Claudia inspired me a lot to create Mary's path in my AC3 FF novel!
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Adewhale is also an assassin I really loved, very well written, tenacious and amazing, very underrated. I really liked that in "Freedom Cry" you're not motivated by money or resources, but in terms of freed slaves; it represents very well Ade's purpose, I think.
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And then, of course Grandpa Edward! I'm not a big fan of AC IV Black Flag, but grandpa is grandpa! In my headcanon AU Grandpy Eddy is still alive and so proud of his grandson captain of the Aquila ★~(◡‿◡✿) 2. Mmhh... I have something on my mind. The main story is concluded, but I was thinking of writing some separate episodes, little adventures, maybe one where they sail to England, a new OC and fragments of their life before and after the journey North. We'll see. Some things are well shaped already on my mind, other less, but as always, I think I'll start writing only when I think it's the right moment ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
3. This is a good and interesting question. As I wrote here many times, writing the whole novel was a super hard thing on its own, it took a lot of motivation. I had to force myself thinking that this was something I wanted to do for myself, no matter the purpose or gaining nothing useful out of all of the work it could have taken, it was all about me and my passion. Also it took almost three years and during that time many things evolved and changed, in between which I had one of the worst moments of my life and the writing process was completely ceased, until things started to align in a more positive way and I felt like going on writing again and concluding the story. It happens, I guess. The most difficult part, however, for me was the naval language. Historical research for a period writing is never easy, I've been there before, for other stuff I wrote in the past, and this time most of that part was in the main game already. The naval technical language though is... tough! Also I had to search terms both in Italian and then in English, as they are very different! It was hard, but I learnt a lot. The world of the ships, vessels, frigates, brigantines and so on is extremely fascinating, but it's a real maze! You could easily end up losing yourself and making mistakes, especially when it comes to describe battles in open sea and list the cannon types, the shots, the directions and all the sailors' terms the case requires! Furthermore, about Mary, I always tried to keep in mind that she is a young lady in the 18th century. A very difficult time for women, mainly ruled by men, when people thought that a girl's only purpose in life (even a wealthy one) was to get married well and give birth. I don't want to spoil too much, but I mentioned an important figure of Feminism and progressive thinking back then, I hope you might want to read until the end to find out who she is!
Sorry for the very long answers, I hope everything is clear and exhaustive! Thanks again for the ask, come visit me again whenever your curiosity wishes to!
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cheri-translates · 3 years
Text
[CN] 100 Days - Victor (Day 51 - 100)
🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for e-mails which have not been released in English servers! 🍒
What’s the 100 Days Companionship Event?
Day 1 - 3: here
Day 4 - 30: here
Day 31 - 50: here
Day 51
Tonight, we’ll watch that musical you like. Don’t be late, and dress formally.
Day 52
I’ve seen your report. Its contents aren’t comparable to the supper takeout list from last night. Redo it.
Day 53
A pink apron? You think it suits me?
Day 54
Today, let’s visit that Internet cafe you mentioned - to take a look at what you’ve been pining after.
Day 55
The equestrian facility we went to before has recently opened again. If you’re interested, we can have a look together.
Day 56
There isn’t as disparate a connection between dreams and reality as you think. Dreaming about lions means that you shouldn’t watch animal documentaries before sleeping.
Day 57
It’s okay to use my voice as an alarm clock. But why did you set five of them?
Day 58
I saw you coughing a little during the meeting yesterday. The difference in temperature between day and night has been very large lately. If you have time, come over and have some snow pear soup.
Day 59
The black cat brooch you were wearing isn’t bad. It’s much more suitable than those incomprehensible sports shoes you’re wearing.
Day 60
You’ve been doing well recently. Do you have any plans over the weekend? Or should I plan them?
Day 61
The look you have when you crinkle your eyes to eat pudding - it’s even more Pudding than Pudding.
Day 62
The dogwood perfume sachet is already on the table. The chrysanthemum liquor needs a few more hours. There’s no need to be so impatient.
Day 63
The next time you can’t sleep, there’s no need to leave so many messages of you talking to yourself. Just call me directly.
Day 64
In this weather, don’t even think of having a cold beverage. Pick a hot beverage you want to drink, and I’ll make it for you.
Day 65
You concluded that the reason for your hair loss was work. So staying up late to use your phone is not to blame?
Day 66
If you want to eat something, just say it directly. There’s no need to post hints like “When the weather is cold, one should eat cream stew” on Moments.
Day 67
There are only two more months left to the year. Looks like the proposals you haven’t finished will be delayed till next year.
Day 68 (Halloween)
Title: Masquerade
If you want me to participate in the masquerade with you, just say so directly. There’s no need to beat around the bush. I’ve already received the entrance tickets, and will pick you up tonight.
Day 69
You were clamouring about playing the part of a Rose Witch, but you’ve become a Caught-a-Cold Witch today.
Day 70
The hoarser your voice, the more it expresses want. You have a lot of such worrying habits.
Day 71
It’s not that time doesn’t want to wait for you, but you spend too much time on useless hobbies.
Day 72
Managing your emotions is to allow yourself to mediate your emotions smoothly, not for you to hold everything in, dummy.
Day 73
That winter mountain villa you’ve been hinting at for a long time has started business. There are some themed suites - pick one.
Day 74
Someone usually doesn’t have a large appetite, but when it comes to her favourite foods, she always leaves me awed.
Day 75
Like many other things, there’s a limit to drinking. Being slightly tipsy is best. Don’t get drunk, especially if it’s you.
Day 76
There was a cat sleeping in the claw machine in the market. Even after getting the staff to open the claw machine, it still didn’t wake up. It’s just as nitwitted as you are.
Day 77
Not going to your own place, and even taking up other people’s territory… Looks like Pudding learnt it from you.
Day 78
Don’t buy too many useless items because you’re tempted. Just because there are many discounted items doesn’t mean you need them.
Day 79 (Single’s Day)
If I receive another meaningless message from you such as “Help me slash the price”, the thing that will be slashed could be the funds for your next program.
Day 80
If you have time to reminisce the past, why don’t we do the things you find worth remembering together once more?
Day 81
Refreshing the notifications for your deliveries a hundred times each day won’t make them arrive earlier. But the scheduled sumptuous meal can be brought forward by an hour.
Day 82
I don’t do meaningless hypothesis. If I had never met you? I won’t allow for such ‘if’s to happen..
Day 83
Things that I have decided upon have some leeway of changing. It depends on what you have that is worth exchanging it with.
Day 84
Chanced on the photograph you took with Pudding. Both the person and the cat haven’t changed much. It’s pretty good.
Day 85
Instead of imagining how we’d be like next year, why not spare some time to write a Year 2021 work plan to turn your ideal into reality.
Day 86
You weren’t around when I passed by your office yesterday. But the mess on your office desk surpassed my imagination.
Day 87
The coffee beans you felt were pretty good in terms of taste the last time - I’ve asked someone to bring some back again. Remember to collect it tonight.
Day 88
There’s a new special product in Souvenir today. Are you sure you’re going to keep saying that you haven’t had an appetite these two days?
Day 89
All I did was pinch the nape of your neck. Why are you staring at me like Pudding?
Day 90
It’s the first time I realised that reading comics during working hours can also be termed “gathering source material”. So is chatting with me termed “discussing a collaborative project?”
Day 91
A certain person has been signing in at increasingly later times. The closer one is to the end, the more one can’t slack off.
Day 92
Someone who has only won “one free bottle” a few times is always thinking of trying the lottery - truly indulging in the wildest fantasies.
Day 93
…I just mentioned it yesterday and you’ve won the fifth prize today. It’s truly a dummy’s luck.
Day 94
I might have believed your nonsense of being able to find inspiration while lying down, had you not fallen asleep on the sofa last night.
Day 95
If you have time to write a lengthy plan, why not put the plan to action immediately?
Day 96
Sometimes, I’d take a look at previous sign-ins and recollect the things a dummy has done.
Day 97
You’re usually too tired to even move after exercising for a while. Yet, you run faster than anyone else when collecting take-out.
Day 98
Every one of your so-called surprises tests a person’s psychological tolerance.
Day 99
There’s no need feel troubled that the signing in is about to end. As long as you want to, I can continue this childish game with you.
Day 100
It’s the last day. The next round of company doesn’t require signing in. I’ll always be here.
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intellijuice · 3 years
Text
Poetry thoughts - on my phone so errors are the phones fault. Thats right I'm passing the blame
Poems and what they mean how they make people feel give us insights into our human minds. In high school poems confused me. The only ones i liked where in fantasy books. Still i never understood them. And so naturally i liked them. The possibility if understanding something is a force as strong as the desire to love someone. Sometimes it is even greater
That said it certainly wasn't a hobby. I was good at it. My english teachers loved my work from primary school till the end of high school. The entire time I was oblivious to this of course and didn't even consider poetry as anything other then an old english thing or even something I was talented at. But every time it came up in english it was my time to shine because grammar was no longer an obstacle. I even now wonder had I not been gifted in creative writing if could if even passed english at all. The best i ever performed at high school and in university was in creative writing and poetry. And this was completely lost on me.
I have wanted to write a book from about the age I learnt how to read. So by that stage i thinking could write my name and that's it. To be in the process of turning that dream if professionally writing that I never believed was actually possible is terrifying. Because most jobs are relatable. People write emails, letters, and product descriptions. They write campaigns, descriptions, terms and conditions, essays, reports, requests, and so on and so on. And a lot of these forms of writing are becoming more and more automated. Grammarly for example is an app that I love, but often have to either compromise it disagree with. And so how many people actually write creatively for a living? And to be critical, how many of those creative writers have hit a creative roadblock?
Most people cannot relate to someone moving through a creative process. It just does not compute. Most artists will know this and share this frustration. That nagging for attention that leaves the air so still you swear you could hear their thoughts drowning out your own if that didn't mean you where crazy. That said we are all guilty of it. Especially struggling artists.
The worst part is it is not their fault. And yet it is not your fault either. You are not a clown for hire. You are not their jester. And so we play the fool, often out of fear of losing ourselves completely to our own art. A sacrifice that will always go unnoticed. Its a cruel world but we are not alone. And so to seek "quite company" is to be around people who can hear you even if they are not listening. Who can see you when you are not watching and can feel you without touching.
These poems i have been writing. They are often refer to you. You are people associated with the feelings. They could be anyone. Unless i am referring ti something that would be personally recognised by the individual. Something only they would know. Otherwise it is about the collection of entities I know.
This is a great way to write. Its efficient. Poetry is in a way all about efficiency. Poetry is telling an entire novel in sentence. It is about more then just the subject. The greatest poems are not written between lovers in vanity. They do not obsess about their desire for self reflection. They are universal and they teach us something unique about being human and where we are in world around us. They do not feed on our emotions without feeding us first.
And since I decided to take poetry seriously and i have been able to understand poems better. I guess as a child they use to mean a lot because your imagination is bigger. And while i like to think that hasn't changed, it is experience that has given me more clarity or insight into what the author was feeling. But we poets need to know that what we write can be interpreted in more ways then we can possibly imagine. And that is not to say that we will not try as that is exactly what we are doing by writing poems. Interpreting one concept within another and. Saying more then just the definition if the words and sentences.
A few nights ago I wrote a poem panel by panel playing around with my new iPad while i wait for the pen. I cannot type or write as fast as I can think and maybe that's the way it is for everyone. But if the ipad can learn my near impossible to decipher handwriting it might be the closest i have ever come.
So i wrote this poem in panels and discovered that the panels say the exact same thing if you read them one way or another. My next experiment will be to shuffle the panels
One if my favourite teachers showed us a technique where you flip to random pages in many different random books. Pick a paragraph or sentence and use them to build a poem. I feel like this applies by the same strange law that we are yet to realize . How does out brain out together abstract concepts and despite a specific meaning being given we understand it even more completely then if we had one because we already accepted the mystery.
I hope this gives some valuable insights and context to my work. I also hope your well and I am always somewhere for you.
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pompompurin1028 · 3 years
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Honestly I- I was shook too like what😭 I was all like “what kind of an unholy word are we living in and how the hell did you have an access to this unholy thing”
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Another time she sent this and only wrote “u” below I was like
🤨
i hope you aren’t the owner of this edit or i’m disowning you
In conclusion we’ve got a good Dazai-Kunikida dynamic😂 Love her so much tho
AND YES AJXNSLXN I SAW THAT- please that’s adorable😂💕 gotta adore the lovely friends who have to deal with our passionate selves😭
Ahh that’s so great🥺 But yeah, make sure you warn her beforehand, it could get really triggering🥺
Omg you MEMORISE THEM TOO? Woah😭 I think the only poem we ever memorised was our national anthem in primary school- But it at least gave you more depth for Blue Bamboo so that’s awesome hehe😌 And that sounds so hard omg😭 But I find that it’s so useful for the brain and comprehension skills too which also sounds awesome :o
And I really enjoy learning about them, yes🥺 When we do them in class, first they let us alone with the original poem, and of course we don’t understand anything because if the poem contains, let’s say, 200 words, only 20-25 of them are still in use today. In fact, there was a certain point in the history where we started to use so so many words from two other languages (not telling them explicitly because that’d probably publicly reveal a lot about mine🥲but anyone who knows a bit about this certain literature has already understood it so RIP) because the poets thought those words would serve better to express what they wanted to express, and the mixture of these 3 languages formed the literature language in the country for a long time. We’re talking about roughly from the 11th to the 19th century, by the way. But in the 20th century, a movement started and its main goal was to eliminate the influence of the foreign languages on our literature, they defended that we should be creating our works with our modern language (which I pretty much agree with).
So now, when we look at a poem from for example 17th century, we don’t understand it not only because it’s written in old language but also because it’s not even in our language. But when the teachers give us the translation, it allows me to see how they perceived the world, the human emotions, and it kind of makes me feel a beautiful connection with my country in those centuries, I guess? The awareness that it’s my culture is so attractive for me as well. When I read things from other cultures, sure I like them objectively very much, but here, subjective emotions come into play too, I suppose? It makes me feel closer to it even when I don’t understand a word in it. I always feel like emotions were purer back then. And when I have a version of it which I understand, it makes me rejoice so much. So I may say that it kind of creates the connection between us, the ‘modern’ individuals and the ‘historical’ culture/people. I really hope this all makes sense haha, this turned out so long omg I’m so sorry😖
And yes!! I’m pretty fluent in it, and I really enjoy learning it so, SO much omg it could be my favourite language to learn or talk or write in. I’m literally so passionate about everything about it (why are we like this in everything we do I swear-). And oh you studied it too?? That’s awesome!!🥰 We could try talking in it some time if you’d like👀
And aaaaahhh French literature is AWESOME you should definitely give it a try. It’s definitely among my favourites, if not the favourite. I recently read La Bête Humaine (The Beast Within? The Human Beast?? I still don’t know how it was published in English) from Émile Zola and I was shook oh god, it was so raw, so wild… and I found it really beautiful, I’m honestly slowly falling in love with the naturalism movement. I really recommend Flaubert too, he’s really a master of realism, I love him so much. Hugo, if you’re into romanticism (which I’m.. pretty much not😭) And there’s Molière, the comedy master, I’m honestly HEAD OVER HEELS in love with his witty humour; and in terms of philosophy there’s Rousseau, Descartes, Beauvoir; AND OH THE POEMS Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Verlaine AAAAAA THE LIST COULD GO ON FOR HOURS- I- I CAN’T😩😩😩
And French classical music/art movements is a WHOLE other topic that I won’t even get into, or this ask will become a novel.
Anyways🤭 Oh I see! That’s really interesting, maybe🤔 I also heard that it was so beautiful, I’m looking forward to reading it some time😌
This is long overdue and this ask has been sitting in my ask box for a while, my apologies. And please that picture, I'm sorry I can't help but burst out laughing when I see it hahaha. And to be in the face of such a genius such as Mozart, I would be shy too honestly😳
And yes omg, I appreciate her so much T^T. My friend has been busy though it seems, she's been busy with courses, I miss her😭. And yes ahh I did warn her no worries, I warn her everytime she talks about it😳 I think she gets the point by now haha
And ahh that's actually pretty cool! But that also sounds so complicated at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine having 3 languages integrated into a single type of literature. And only that little of the words can actually be understood? I- wow😳 And yeah, I can totally understand the movement and its intentions, and honestly, I agree with it too, even though I have a very limited understanding of this topic.
And that must feel really weird :0 to know that it is from your culture but to have languages that you don't understand in it. And don't worry, I get what you mean! It's like you're able to communicate with the people of the past as they bring you messages and lessons that they learnt! T^T and it's honestly kind of a treasure honestly.
From what I know the old Chinese language changed to the current one during the May Fourth Movement (Also known as the New Cultural Movement), I believe. Of course, the May Fourth Movement included more than just the change of the languages, but that might be one of its biggest accomplishments. So during that time, the modern Chinese language is already used in speaking and writing as well during that time, but it was not the language used to officially spread ideas during that time. The May Fourth Movement one about moving away from traditional ideas and intellectual thoughts, such as Confucianism. Don't take my word for it, but from what I remember that I have learnt, I think that they wanted to do so because they (the students of the time) believe that it was such ideas that lead to China's downfall after the first world war in the Paris Peace Conference in which it wasn't able to claim some of its original lands back (the land is the Shandong region, which was given to Japan instead); and before that as well in which it suffered much humiliation from the weak Qing (or in English would sometimes be written as Ch'ing) government. And so, this movement kind of promoted the use of vernacular language in writing rather than using what we call "bahuai". This made the written language much easier to understand.
Sorry, I just went on rambling and gave you a history lesson there😅 At first I was going to talk about it briefly only because of... but all well, I guess my history-loving side came out haha
And honestly, I find that so amazing:") And well yeah, I only know very little French, unfortunately... I was learning it when the pandemic hit and I couldn't have any more lessons sadly...
And please, your passion for French literature is making me want to read them too ahh. There are just so many books I want to read gshsjs. And Rousseau, of course, I know him from studying the French Revolution period before haha, along with Voltaire and Montesquieu. Well I know of them, but I'm not very familiar with their ideas though unfortunately :")
And please don't worry Req haha, your passion is very energizing and it makes me really excited to talk about such things too. I enjoy it very much <3
Oh and before we were talking about I am A Cat, I actually found it in the bookstore in Chinese, and I read the description of it briefly and it talks about a story written from the cat's pov which is quite cool!
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coralstudiies · 5 years
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SURVIVAL GUIDE & STUDY TIPS
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hello everyone!! this post is a collab with the lovely and amazing @boinkhs because we've both reached 2k followers :D she'll be doing study tips for college students and i'll be doing study tips for high schoolers. check out her post here!
i've split this into part 1. survival, which concerns how to study & learn better in general and just tips on how to get through high school. part 2. is on specific study tips for each type of subject, namely sciences, maths, languages and humanities.
Hope this helps <3
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1. Don't snooze please
you just end up snoozing 5 times then you’re late for school
2. If you find you have difficulty getting out of bed, just keep in mind ONE TASK you need to do.
for example, making your bed. then you just gotta focus on that! it should help fight the sleepiness because you’re forcing your brain and limbs to be active.
3. Do the necessary things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and eat breakfast
i don’t know why but some people don’t eat breakfast before coming to school like ???? excuse me ???? please eat at least a small snack, or a fruit or something. your body doesnt function on an empty stomach! also, drink some water to hydrate yourself
4. On the road, you should do something that puts you in a good mood.
for me, i go straight to spotify and listen to my playlist. you should also review the previous day’s learning so that you refresh your memory before going back to class. personally this is my fav part of the day HAHAHA
5. If you like, you can choose to read a book.
just make sure you’re calm but ‘warmed up’ to focusing in a sense.
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1. Hydrate frequently
idk man it just keeps you awake + i dont feel so icky if i drink enough water
2. Learn actively
if the teacher asks questions, try to answer. sit at the front row. offer to help give out the worksheets or notes. clarify your doubts after. when they speak, copy down notes. don’t worry about the aesthetic; i mean you can but you need to write fast and neat which unfortunately doesnt come together very often. i suggest you spend more brain power digesting and understanding the content.
3. Don’t over highlight
ONLY KEY POINTS that are stressed by the teacher. you can tell when their tone changes, expression changes, when they use more hand motions, or they keep repeating a few key words. yes , that. highlight that. stare at it while listening to them speak. make sure you understand. if you don’t please ask. but make sure you don’t have a fluorescent page because that’s not ideal study material!
4. Write down any questions you have
if they’re answered in the lesson, cancel them off. if not, ask after the lesson. dont be scared! *sends virtual courage*
5. Use whatever free time you have to finish homework
because you’re gonna thank yourself later. you should spend more time at home revising than doing homework. ( doing homework isnt equivalent to revising PLEASE I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY REVISED FOR 3 HOURS BUT ALL THEY DID WAS HOMEWORK ) also it feels better knowing you have one less thing to worry about
6. Record down all assignments, due dates and test dates
do it in a planner or your phone. doesn’t matter just keep them somewhere. it can be demoralising to see an entire entry of shit to get done but still it’s better than not knowing what needs to be done. ignorance is NOT bliss. try to color code or symbol code them, for example • for assignments (due date behind), - for tests etc. act on this when you go home (see below)
7. Have a file/binder some form of organisation to keep different subjects’ worksheets, tests, notes, reading etc.
you can have one massive binder, one binder for each subject, one folder file for each subject or anything that suits you. for me, i clip all materials of one subject together with a binder clip. the materials i use most are at the front for easy reference. then put those bundles into zipper files, perhaps one for math and sciences, another for languages and humanities. or whatever suits you best! make sure you have everything in one place so you don’t panic and dig through a pile of dog-eared paper.
8. If you can, when it’s near the exam period, don’t stay back after school unless it’s to study.
i used to stay back for training and to play volleyball with my friends and i kid you not we would play from 2pm to 6.30 pm and get nothing done but it was fun. and i’m not saying deprive yourself of that fun but when the exams are near, you should be studying somewhere quiet/ somewhere you can focus. you should go somewhere (preferably home) where you can focus and get things done.
9. Decide if you’re a lone wolf or if you need a study buddy/study group
personally i’m a lone wolf because i hate distractions and i don’t want to distract others. but when my friends ask me for help i don’t mind staying back a little to teach them and/or study with them. Personally i find that for subjects like english which require you to write about an array of topics, studying with someone else can help in generation of essay points and to just broaden your understanding of the topic. so yeah it really depends, just do what suits you :)
10. Take notes in class
try to understand while copying, and if you didn’t understand something, you should raise your hand and ask for the teacher to repeat so that you hear it again. also, it gives you more time to take notes as they re-explain the content. read them after the lesson is over to help internalise some facts. you can create your own method of organisation for your notes, e.g. colour coding.
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1. Review the day’s learning on the way home.
if you take public transport, try to flip through your notes and worksheets to review new content for the first time.
2. Eat lunch, have a snack, take a shower, everything that’s necessary.
if you use your phone while eating, make sure you don’t eat slowly just to use your phone because that’s wasting time.
3. If you’re super tired, just have a 15-20min power nap
nothing more otherwise you will NEVER wake up until the dead of night. just take a nap to get some energy back. doesnt matter if you wake up feeling more tired, because you’ll shake that feeling in a while. keep a glass of water beside you so that you can drink it once you wake up!
4. Look through your ‘list’ that you made earlier in the day. (in class, pt. 6)
you might want to spend max 10 mins updating your schedule. then stare at the dreaded homework. start with the easiest and least time consuming to build up momentum. this could actually be the remainder of what you’ve finished in school. then look at the due dates. do them in order of due dates. unless it’s a huge project or assignment, you might want a head start on it!
5. With the remaining time, you should start revising
review the day’s learning AGAIN.
make notes/mindmaps/flashcards whatever works for you. you should prioritise the subject or chapter that you were most confused about. quickly revise and try to clear up any questions you have about the chapter. if you have additional time, go ahead and make notes for the next subject! another way is going through corrections and clarifying your doubts with friends/teachers, and summarise the day’s learning on a post-it or two. if you’ve already taken notes in class, look at other sources e.g textbook and combine what you’ve learnt before re-writing or re-organising your notes.
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1. Pack your bag!
remove unnecessary materials, and pack the necessary one. make sure your bag isnt too heavy. you can choose to hand carry some files or binders if they’re too bulky, but make sure you’re all packed before the next morning
2. Have a meal & clean up
again, basic necessities. don’t go to bed hungry or feeling icky because thats not how you treat yo self!
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Before class:
if you’re going to continue on a chapter, review the content that came before it. Try to make your own connections between the already learnt and to-be learnt content so that you’re mentally ready for class.
In class:
take down notes, highlight, annotate and DRAW DIAGRAMS. you can’t do sciences without diagrams. for physics or chemistry which require more calculation, copy down the problems your teacher goes through and solve them along with him/her. write the formulas on a post it note so you can stick it onto the page where you’re writing for easy reference. if the teacher plays a video which is MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU you have to write only the relevant points in the most abbreviated form possible.
Note-taking:
I find that linear notes help me most in sciences. for chapters that involve lots of interconnected processes, for example o chem, then mindmaps or flowcharts will be helpful. also if you tend to forget something, post-it that stuff on the front page of your notes where you are FORCED to stare at it. yes. write down example problems and their steps, then write explanations for each step so that if you’re confused you can always refer back. again, draw any required diagrams.
Answering techniques:
if there’s a ‘standard’ way to answer it then you have to make sure you follow that way even in your homework because it’s muscle memory. when you get to exams, your hand will automatically write in the same format so you don’t lose marks or spend time recalling the correct format.
imo sciences are quite logical so as long as you remember and follow the flow you’ll be fine!
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In class:
copy key terms, facts and examples and write all examples that the teacher has gone through. write all formulas and definitions on a post it, then shift it around the pages as needed. if there’s a type of problem you particularly suck at, ask your teacher for help IMMEDIATELY because it’s so easy to forget the steps to a problem.
At home:
do your homework, do additional practice, correct your mistakes, clarify, and repeat. memorise formulas and definitions (perhaps using flashcards or post its) then practice more and make sure your concepts are strong. there’s no easy way and sadly this is all i can comment.
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In class:
copy down notes, think actively, and if you’re given a sample essay you should annotate the heck out of it and keep it somewhere safe.
For essays:
read up more and write up. befriend the best writer in class and ask for their essays. write essay plans and consult your teacher. brainstorm possible approaches with friends. read the news, and copy the links of interesting online articles for future reference. have a go-to list of examples and quotes you can use, for any and every topic. read these like your bedtime story and never forget to keep updating them.
For comprehension passages:
read the questions first. then you’ll be more sensitive to what you need to read in the passage and how you need to analyse it. try to question yourself about how and why the author does something or makes you feel something. do not rush-read the passage or you will fail horribly (personal experience). do one or two extra comprehensions and ask your teacher to mark them.
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In class:
ARROWS TO LINK EVERYTHING and annotate any class notes given. write down new examples provided by the teacher. if there is a link you ‘can check out’ go check it out. it’s probably something thats gonna be on the exam.
At home:
you have to rely on mindmapping and flow charts because everything is linked in some way and you cannot ignore those links!!!! although i do my humanities notes in linear form, my in class notes are all in the form of mindmaps. and actually i revise from those in a pinch because i can see everything at one go. watch vids on the concepts, for example plate tectonics. those things are so hard to see when they’re deadass sitting on the page and not budging. watch a video where they really move instead of being frozen.
If you’re so frickin lost:
watch more videos on the concepts, watch more videos on the events, search up interpretations online and ask your teachers!!! for everyone who gets equally lost as me when i’m faced with a new chapter, another way is to pre-read before the teacher starts teaching. if you’re lazy to read just watch a couple clips on it so that at least you have some background. even if you wake up the next day with 0 concrete memory, which you won’t, you’ll already have the flow of things which will help you if you’re usually the straggler.
(disclaimer i study geography although i've tried history and english literature but i think that they're similar to some extent, especially on how to study them)
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