#I just wanted to rant and share my perspective about the finale
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accidental roommates | jjk (m)
✦ pairing dilf!jk x fem!reader
✦ genre/au's dilf!au, roommate!au, roommates to lovers, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, crack & teeny tiny sentimental angst
✦ summary moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace.
yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate.
✦ word count 14.7k 🌚
✦ warnings second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook
✦ sexual warnings fingering | oral (f. receiving) | semi-hand job? | grinding | riding | biting (like once) | teasing | protected sex!
✦ author's note oh my god.... can you believe i actually finished this shit? lmao no me neither. i have to thank my amazing co-writer's for this collab @kooktrash & @jeonjcngkook for being extremely helpful when i've been stuck with some scenes! along with my favorite person and hyung @gimmethatagustd who was there whenever i needed to plan some scenes and for reading out my entire outline. also, big thanks to my beta @pjiminbloomx who took her time in listening me rant about this for over a month. i love you jyad. <3333 and just overall every single one of you who have encouraged me about this. i can't believe it got this long BUT hey! it didn't get above 15k which was my maximum for this fic. enjoy this super cracky and long stupid fic with these two idiots. <3
this fic is a part of illicit desires collab! go read the other stories if you're hungry for more dilf jungkook ;)
For the first time since a week ago, you’re finally able to breathe for once. The sigh you let out is comforting and freeing. The awful ruckus of moving has caused you to roam on the streets with a lack of sleep, eye bags that can be caught from miles away and a groggy voice not daring to disappear from your vocals. A mess really. You know it, your ex-roommate Ash knows it too and even though she and her partner are at fault here, it was bound to happen.
You see, Ash had met Lucca through a mutual friend, the mutual friend being you and you were surprised at how well they complimented each other. The night they met was filled with nervous glances and flushed red cheeks due to the excitement. They both deserved each other. So, when they finally announced their relationship with you, you were more than thrilled. Although, after a year of them dating they had come to the conclusion of moving in together, which was a big step for their relationship and a step back for you, due to you ending back to square one and having to find an apartment yourself.
The image of Ash’s expression when she kindly asked you to move within the next month was imprinted in your mind. She didn’t want to kick you out this way, but it was an important and big step into her relationship with Lucca, and the decision needed to be made regardless. You didn’t really have a say in this. Firstly, the apartment was Ash’s and in the end, it is her decision on whom she wants to share it with.
It took you a week. A whole week to find the perfect place for you. The pictures sold the place nicely, the living room looking spacious and decorated firmly with stable furniture and you being desperate to find anything you called the owner. The conversation went great. He was very quick on letting you get the apartment, sending you a confirmation email the day after you had agreed to the deposit. You were doing it, and it felt great.
Although, your lack of sleep had been caused by the last-minute packing, having to clear out your room as quickly as possible. It was mostly because of Lucca themselves, having to move out of their sister’s loft, so the timing was indeed tight. But hey, everything turned out well even though you look like a Yeti who hasn’t been able to find a place to rest. It’s fine really, now you’ll be able to at least lie down before unpacking everything.
With a trembling hand, you manage to push the code in, the door opens and you’re just about to step in when you look up and find a shirtless man in your apartment. You don’t say anything, the both of you staring each other down for a quick second before you manage to close the door, convincing yourself you’re hallucinating.
It’s a thing, Ash told you countless times whenever you managed to withhold an all-nighter in your shared place. First, there’s being overtired where every ounce of energy left bounces like a little child on a trampoline, then there’s the lack of sleep eating you alive although your eyes fail you to shut, being used to staying open, which creates the last step: hallucinations.
Maybe it’s the lack of sex which made you paint a beautifully sculpted man with tattoos only in a towel in front of you. You’re praising your brain for creating such a lively picture that causes you to grin and shake your head before you decide to re-enter.
He’s there again. Your horny hallucination.
The hallucination takes a turn when he screams into your face. ‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ It’s then that you snap yourself back to reality, realizing this indeed is a real person and you’ve managed to scare the shit out of them. The only thing you find yourself doing is screaming back, which turns into violent screaming in unison and by now half of the neighborhood is probably writing a complaint to this very apartment.
‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ You find the courage to finally scream back and the man in front of your eyes squints in discomfort, shaking his head as he swallows your words.
‘’Y-your apartment?’’
You fold your arms, scoffing as your head turns towards the open kitchen. ‘’Yes. Mine.’’
He begins to laugh, his abs tensing along with the rhythm and you hate yourself for growing hot over his upper body.
‘’You’re funny.’’ He points at you and to prove yourself to him, you look for the confirmation email that proves you have the right to own this place.
‘’Here.’’ He steps closer, the scent of his shampoo infiltrating your nostrils and you notice a form of sweet yet musky scent. While you’re too busy trying to ignore the scent, the man in front of you has his full attention on your screen. He smacks his lips, his composure straightening along. ‘’There has to be some sort of mistake.’’
You hum in agreement. How wrong could this possibly go? The only solution that comes to mind like a wave, is to call the owner. You hold a finger up, pausing for whatever word is about to come out from the stranger in front of you while it starts to dial. It quickly gets interrupted, by a voice telling you the number doesn’t exist. You refuse to believe it, so you continue to call three to four times while the man crosses his arms, sighing out loud. It’s at that moment you notice the detailed and colored tattoos covering his arm in a sleeve.
“He’s… he’s not picking up.” The defeat drags itself at your feet. The proof you once had to own this apartment is gone, except the confirmation email but then again there must’ve been some mistake — a big one to say the least.
“Do you honestly believe that?” His tone indicates he’s irritated and the water droplets on his skin have almost dried out — the fact that you notice scares you more than the situation you’re currently met with.
“I mean, clearly, you’ve been scammed.” The words swallow you whole, your composure losing against you and your head drops with your heart. Of course, it was too good to be true, because again since when have you ever been lucky when you’re on your own?
“Fuck.”
It seems as if you’ve lost, but you’re not willing to give up just yet. You spent all of your savings on the deposit and the last thing you’ll do is ask your strict parents for money, which isn’t only super hard but exasperating as well.
‘’Well now that this whole problem is settled, get out.’’ The tone is harsh and you flinch, tears threatening to spill as you slowly walk to the entrance.
‘’Wait—’’ You hold your hands up, your feet freezing down on the tiled floor and the stranger’s expression turns into pure disgust yet confusion. You aren’t really sure, your mind is basically clouded reasons being your lack of sleep. Which currently isn’t helping the situation you’re currently standing in. If only you could snatch it like Margot Robbie snatches bags and watches in ‘Focus’. This reminds you, you should probably watch it again, it was really good and—
‘’Hello?!’’ The sound catches you off guard, your eyes roaming back onto the half-naked stranger whose name still stays unknown.
‘’Just. Please.’’ You’re fucking tired and this was the last thing that needed to be added onto your plate yet you’re still standing, except you’re hopeless and homeless.
‘’Please?! Get. Out.’’
You drop down to your knees, your tears falling freely and you plead.
‘’I have nowhere to go. My old roommate is finally starting a new life with her partner, my parents are fucking strict and are the last I’m calling for help. I’m basically fucking homeless and I just wanted to lay down in my apartment after moving out last minute and sleep.’’ You’re rambling all kinds of nonsense, throwing a whole scene in front of a guy who’s stepped out of the shower. You feel bad but you’re lost. You have nowhere to go.
‘’Seriously, I’m fucked. Help me out, just— just for six months and I’ll be out of your sight.’’ Your voice cracks, every limb that has managed to withhold your posture, collapsing all together into one. You’re done.
A deep sigh catches your attention, your glossy eyes looking up to see a semi-smile resting on the guy’s face. ‘’Six months.’’ He repeats as he traces his fingers on the patterned ink, decorating his arm.
‘’Fine. Just don’t make me regret this. I’m Jungkook by the way.’’ Finally, you discover the name of the pretty stranger.
‘’Thank you. Thank you so much.’’ You’re holding yourself back from hugging him, mostly because of his naked chest and the last thing you need is to feel warm skin on your own. Instead, you introduce yourself and he smiles awkwardly making you reconsider your awful ruckus from before. You basically admitted how fucked your life is at the moment, bringing along the strict parents into the mix and we all know, this won’t end well.
A sudden cry snatches every ounce of your attention, coming from one of the rooms. Has someone been here all this time?
‘’Shit. I think we might’ve woken her up.’’ Her. Great, you’re gonna live with a clingy couple, after having no mercy in showing you were checking him out — multiple times. This is going to be absolute hell.
All while you’re imagining the messy and mostly awkward encounters you’re going to face while living with a couple, you don’t notice Jungkook walking back out accompanied by a certain someone.
‘’A baby?!’’ Great. Not only are you going to live with a couple, but their newborn baby too.
‘’You sound… surprised.’’ He decides to sit down, the baby’s head resting on his bare and tatted shoulder, doe-eyed and mouth agape.
‘’Where’s… where’s your girlfriend?’’ Shit. Are you even listening to yourself? You met this guy not even an hour ago and you’re already invading his private life with intense questions.
‘’Don’t have one. It’s just me and So-ah here.’’ He taps her back, a few burps escaping her as you stay quiet.
The scenery in front of you causes a faint smile to appear on the brim of your lips. If you weren’t determined to own the apartment yourself, you’d let every ounce of you swoon over how careful Jungkook is with his daughter.
Jungkook takes a hold of her, changing positions as she faces him, her eyes as big as his. It’s crazy how alike they look.
Your heart melts into a thick puddle when Jungkook rubs his nose against So-ah’s, a soft giggle sounding like a lullaby escaping her right after.
‘’Oh my god.’’ Jungkook’s mouth drops and before confusion seeps through you he continues. ‘’So-ah you just laughed for the first time.’’ Fuck. You’re so screwed.
‘’She’s adorable.’’ You smile fondly, Jungkook breaking eye contact with his daughter at your comment.
His eyebrows frown, clearing his throat as he shifts in his seat. ‘’Thanks.’’
Okay, there were exactly two things that fumed you over his flat-toned answer. One was that he was still a complete stranger and you’ve always felt somewhat threatened and uncomfortable when people you didn’t know made or said anything that clicked an icky feeling at the pit of your stomach, which quickly turns to irritation. Because here you are being fucking nice and you get this in return? What a fucking asshole. Second, it’s probably an ego thing, thinking he’s hot enough to get away with being quite literally rude. If it weren’t for his sudden act of rudeness towards your very tired Yeti-looking state you might actually grow fond of him, but that is all forgotten now.
You’re getting that fucking apartment.
Working as a kindergarten teacher meant a lot of things. Patience, energy, and consistency. For you to reach there before showing up at work, you’ll need to fuel your body with a smoothie.
The clock hasn’t even turned six when you push the mixer’s button, a loud noise erupts in the quiet apartment. Did you do this on purpose knowing Jungkook isn’t starting work yet? Maybe. Did he notice, is fucking angry and walking up to you at this moment? Very much so.
‘’Seriously? What the fuck?!’’ The shouting from your roommate pleases your early morning state and you force an annoying smile as you greet him with a cheerful good morning.
‘’It’s for work!’’ You push the button for a little longer, his eyes rolling back when So-ah starts crying in the room next to you. The daughter does make you feel an ounce of regret but that’s mostly because you love babies and she’s made a good impression on you already.
Jungkook groans in frustration, his grumpy state returning back to his daughter to soothe her while you hurriedly get to work. Your colleague is probably already there, having a different schedule than you.
Traffic isn’t terrible and you’ve caught onto the lost sleep that vanished during your moving week. As you reach work, Taehyung waves excitedly to you from the entrance, while holding a cup of coffee.
‘’You look awfully happy.’’ Taehyung remarks when you walk past him and inside, re-adjusting a few things before parents begin to arrive with their sunshine of kids.
‘’I am.’’ Your mood definitely has something to do with nailing to piss Jungkook off early in the morning. That’s what he gets for being a complete ass after you’ve embarrassed yourself multiple times and just trying to be kind.
‘’Care to tell me?’’ Taehyung moves his eyebrows, suggesting you got lucky and you quickly shut down the idea, shaking your head no along with you explaining it was an early win for you.
‘’I basically pissed off my roommate this morning. He’s an asshole so he deserved it.’’ You shrug your shoulders, Taehyung following behind you as you both make the place ready, the clock ticking loudly behind you.
‘’Roommate? I thought you had the place all to yourself?’’ Taehyung hadn’t gotten any updates from you since your stressful week, so it made sense for him to be completely lost when you mention Jungkook in the context of your cheerful mood this morning.
‘’I got scammed. But I’m not surprised. I’ve carried bad luck all my life and I blame it on my strict parents.’’ You joke, Taehyung chuckling nervously unsure rather you’re completely kidding or deadly serious. It’s hard to tell.
‘’Scammed, meaning the apartment you thought you had was already occupied?’’ Taehyung has lived in the city all his life, and he has been familiar with the scammers roaming in between others, and cheating the system who carries a blind eye.
‘’Exactly, and here I was thinking shit like that only happens in the movies.’’ You scoff at the ridiculousness of the overall situation. How come you ended here? Not only with a scam, but a buff tatted guy and his baby daughter? Truly fucking wild.
‘’Oh babe, you’d be surprised. So who’s the roommate? An old lady?’’ Taehyung jokes once again, the sounds of chairs clinging against each other roaming in the air, the both of you settling in the common room ready for the children.
‘’I wouldn’t exactly say an old lady…’’ Taehyung’s interest quirks an ounce higher, his movements stopping to a halt, waiting for you to spill.
‘’His name is Jungkook and he has a baby daughter named So-ah.’’ Taehyung’s face drops, eyes wide as his mouth hangs wide because clearly, no old lady is named Jungkook.
‘’If you tell me right now he’s hot, I’m gonna think you’re living out everyone’s fantasy.’’ Taehyung holds up his pointy finger, eyebrow intact with his overall movement and you cringe because you really don’t want to admit Jungkook is hot — even though you ogled his abs for a good 20 minutes the first time you met him.
‘’He’s—’’ You try to form words, your mind flashing images of Jungkook with wet hair, droplets of water covering his abs that tensed whenever he chuckled at your ridiculousness the day you got scammed.
‘’Oh my god… You’re living with a DILF.’’ The term Taehyung uses makes you wheeze, losing composure as you move your body along with the laughter that escapes you.
Taehyung doesn’t get more of a word before the first pair of parents walk in, hand in hand with their child. The day has just begun.
Meanwhile, Jungkook is currently taking care of So-ah. She hasn’t stopped crying since you decided to be annoying and flush down the good morning that Jungkook had anticipated. Maybe he should kick you out because right now his left ear hasn’t stopped ringing while his daughter’s face is almost pure red due to her countless cries.
‘’So-ah, please.’’ Jungkook places her down on his chest, her face rubbing on it, wetting it along, the discomforting sound continuing. Jungkook feels lost and he wants to revenge himself on you because you’re probably dancing at work while he’s here, with dark eye bags and a crying baby under his arm.
Sometimes it makes him wonder if it would be different if So-ah’s mother were still around. Maybe she wouldn’t cry as much. A mother’s touch is important for babies at her age and Jungkook feels guilty. In reality, he just wants So-ah to be okay, to feel understood, and frankly, at the moment understanding her is difficult. He continues to pat her back, rocking her back and forth in his gaming chair, set up by the computer that has an awaiting meeting for him in two hours. He can do this, he’ll just freshen up as soon as she goes back to sleep.
The day spins around faster than possible, the sun already setting behind the building in an orange glow and Taehyung is currently wiping down the mess that was left on the tables since lunch.
‘’So, regarding your dilf, is he single?’’ You’re close to spilling the scene where you asked Jungkook where his partner was only to get a no, which only made you more curious than before. It isn’t likely for you in the span of living to have met a single father. In most cases it’s single mothers, so to say you were surprised was an understatement.
‘’He— Yes, apparently he is.’’ You’re uncertain and Taehyung casually nods at the response, making you reconsider if you’re even allowed to be curious regarding Jungkook’s living situation.
‘’Well, this is the start of a beautiful love story.’’ You stick your tongue out in offense to Taehyung’s joke, while he cracks himself up, his boxy smile on display as well.
‘’You’re the worst.’’ He trails right behind you, as you close down the place and leave it behind for tomorrow.
‘’Right, but if anyone were to ask you’d still point at me for being the best colleague you’ve had.’’ He’s not entirely wrong and you get to prove it to him by remaining silent.
After you and Taehyung part ways, you hurry home in desperation to see if the grumpy expression is still remaining on Jungkook’s face from this morning. To your surprise, it isn’t. You find Jungkook sprawled on the couch, his chest exposed and his baby daughter laying on top of him, both of them breathing in sync.
If Jeon Jungkook didn’t open his mouth from time to time you’d start to like him, because seeing him sleep in complete silence makes him seem… not so bad as you had thought. But then again he was rude even though he certainly helped you out after your scam episode.
You decide to make dinner, leaving the both of them to rest while listening to soothing jazz music. Somehow with time passing by and the smell filtering through the apartment as it cooks, Jungkook stirs awake, So-ah along with him. He manages to push himself upwards, holding onto So-ah and finds you swaying as you cook in the open kitchen.
Memories cloud Jungkook’s mind back when he was still with—
‘’Oh! You’re awake.’’ You had felt a pair of eyes boring at your back, so when you turn to see Jungkook spacing out you make yourself noticeable.
‘’Yeah, smells great by the way.’’ It’s then Jungkook realizes he’s yet to wear a shirt and it’s become an accidental habit of being shirtless in front of you. The last thing he wants is for you to get the wrong signal.
‘’Thank you.’’ You take the compliment lightly, letting it pass by your head so your focus remains on the main goal; having Jungkook willingly move out.
Jungkook is completely oblivious to your plan, although it would make sense if he slowly started to catch on to your smoothie early morning surprise. But for now, you’re hungry and there’s still a good five months left before you leave each other’s sight.
The dinner turns out successful, So-ah doesn’t cry once and both you and Jungkook groan afterward, bloated from overeating. He thanks you before returning back to his room, leaving you to do all the dishes.
Great.
Living with Jungkook had run smoothly, your hopes in gaining the apartment fading the more time went by with him being extremely kind. It hadn’t offended you but you were certain he was rude and didn’t like you. But an early Monday morning, Jungkook proved to you exactly how much that apartment means to you.
You hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that night, the walls a lot thinner than you had anticipated and So-ah had cried most of the night, not only waking her dad but you as well. Babies are wonderful creatures, but at night it surely paints a different motive than the one you’re being met with during the day.
Blaming Jungkook for your lack of sleep would be rude on your part, so you accept it by making a cup of coffee early morning. It was the next best solution and as you’re sitting on the counter, waiting for the water to boil, Jungkook walks in dressed in black joggers and a white t-shirt.
‘’Morning.’’ You’re holding back from laughing at how alike the both of you look. So-ah really destroyed you for the better. Jungkook joins in on the coffee solution, making his mug ready right next to you in silence.
When the water is ready, you jump down, pouring the warm water after adding a few teaspoons of instant coffee. Jungkook follows you right after, stirring it with his spoon. As you walk towards the refrigerator, Jungkook is quicker than you, pulling the milk out and pouring it into his mug.
‘’Could you pass me the milk?’’ Jungkook grins at your question and it’s then you notice he’s poured the remaining drops, leaving no milk for you. Fucking marvelous.
‘’Better luck next time.’’ He winks at you, slowly walking back to his room as you flick him off without him noticing.
Yeah, you definitely spoke too soon when you even let yourself think Jungkook might be a nice guy. He’s not and he just started a war.
Taehyung notices how different your state is today, the flatlined smile throwing him off guard. Being the good colleague that he is, he makes you sit down as he prepares everything.
‘’I’m not doing this for free, spill.’’ You groan out of tiredness and anger, holding your face that can barely keep up with everything around you.
‘’Fucking… Jungkook.’’ You squint your eyes, already plotting how you’ll manage to rip every part of him apart. Taehyung would lie if he admitted that you in your current state isn’t scaring the shit out of him.
‘’I was beginning to think he was remotely nice, until this morning.’’ Taehyung hums along, uncertain where exactly you’re heading with this conversation. It’s something Taehyung has learned about you in the past years you’ve worked alongside, your conversations always turn in a different direction no matter how precisely you start them.
‘’Taehyung, would you get pissed if someone took the rest of the milk when you’ve already prepared a cup of coffee?’’
‘’He didn’t—’’
Everything makes sense for Taehyung. Jungkook has practically started a war with you because one thing everyone should know when it comes to you is to never mess with your morning coffee. Specifically when you desperately need one.
‘’He surely fucking did.’’ You scoff out of disbelief. ‘’He even laughed when he emptied it.’’ The images flash through your brain once more, a betrayal that has caused a lot of damage to your already ruined morning state due to So-ah.
‘’Go make yourself some coffee, don’t let him get to your head for now. It’s not worth it.’’ Taehyung was right, it would stupid to hold milk accountable for Jungkook and your reasons for despising him. Hopefully, it was a mistake and you’ll return home with a better state of mind, Jungkook leaving you rather at peace.
You follow Taehyung’s instructions, walking inside the semi-small kitchen for staff, and begin making your fuel for the day.
Work turns out easier after you get coffee in your system, Taehyung takes most of the tasks throughout the day to ease down any forms of headaches that might come along due to your lack of sleep. Small moments and gestures like these, remind you how truly lucky you are to have a colleague like Taehyung. He has never made things more difficult, always managing to make everything easy and simple.
As soon as the clock strikes, parents fill up the entrance awaiting their children who are too busy playing outside, enjoying their free time. The sun has already moved down further, creating a beautiful sunset, whose golden rays move along the filled playground that’s messy due to every toy in sight being used throughout the day. The parents were kind enough to teach their kids to always clean up after themselves, leaving the entrance the remaining spot to clean. When you’re about to reach for a broom, Taehyung catches it before you.
‘’Go home. I got this.’’ His voice is stern as if he already knows you’re about to plead to do it yourself.
You let out a sigh, thanking him as many times as you can in the span of you dressing yourself up to go outside. Taehyung brushes you off, a semi-smile resting nicely on his framed face.
The apartment is empty, silent, and dark when you enter. You wonder where Jungkook must’ve gone, the sky from outside already an ounce darker than when you stepped out from work. You’re not too worried, your petty self still being remotely annoyed with the morning incident.
When you walk past the living room, you feel yourself crash down and watching a movie. It’s much needed after today and maybe it’ll slowly lull you to sleep. Since you were little, sleeping at night had always been a difficulty so a distraction in the background could likely push you towards the sleep you’ve been craving.
You settle on watching a crime film that piques your interest on Netflix. You’ve managed to add a bit more lighting inside the apartment, a few lamps surrounding the couch.
The plot starts to reveal itself, leaving you speechless as you bite down on the blanket, eyes fully open, trailing along whenever someone moves on screen. You’re just about to catch a big lead to why the certain murder occurred when Jungkook walks in with So-ah drinking from a bottle.
‘’Oh, hey.’’ You quickly say before averting your attention back on the screen. Jungkook squints his eyes, having trouble seeing the big screen but as soon as he catches on, he tsks.
‘’Wait— Isn’t that the film where the protagonist is actually the killer?’’ The moment Jungkook speaks, a clue leads to having the protagonist on the list of who might’ve done it and now Jeon Jungkook just asked for a ticket to hell.
‘’Are you fucking kidding me?!’’ You exclaim loudly, throwing both hands and arms in the air, frustration seeping through every vein coursing through your body. You’re seeing absolute red.
‘’Oh shit, my bad.’’ You aren’t even glancing towards him, but you can hear the shit eating grin he’s trying to suppress. You close your eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, remembering Taehyung’s words from earlier. It’s not worth it. He’s right, it truly isn’t and you’re being weak by letting small annoying things set you off like a grenade.
You’re not letting him win. Things have only just begun.
Returning the favor with annoying gestures had only turned the next two months into a living hell. The apartment went from walking on a dream to walking on eggshells. It had started with a minor mistake in the early morning with the dreadful lack of sleep and constant bickering. Your dreams of owning the apartment slowly crashing as you’ve been looking for new apartments, wanting to get furthest away from Jeon Jungkook and his annoying behavior.
If it weren’t for Taehyung you would’ve handled the situation differently, but Taehyung has always assured you to stand your ground and not let him get to you. Jungkook has already been kind enough for you to stay, so to make it easier, it’d be best not to mess it up by revenging yourself. But you badly wanted to. Just once. To see Jungkook’s face twist to annoyance in a mere second, while you try your best not to sing happily right after.
Although, the only thing keeping both you and Jungkook on the ground from ripping one's hair out, was So-ah. Her magical baby powers overrule the both of you, and her eyes are wide and full of hope for what’s to come.
When you had first moved in, Jungkook wasn’t exactly fond of you being near his daughter but with time and his suddenly busy schedule, he had you keep an eye out for So-ah who was distracting him too much with her cuteness. So-ah quickly loved your company, your small jokes, and countless attempts in making her giggle. Jungkook couldn’t keep you two away from one another, so he accepted it.
The weekend had finally rolled around and after a week of none other than small bickering and disagreements between you and Jungkook, you were finally at ease in your bedroom. The discussions between you were ridiculous — Taehyung’s words not yours. It could go from a minor detail, like the temperature in the apartment to a full-on debate on whether the film he wants to watch is better than your own choice.
As you’re laying in your bed, you look up at the painted dark blue ceiling, your curtains open, accepting the outside light to shine in. You’ve always loved the natural darkness and how it covers every room differently than if everything is covered, turning to full darkness. You turn constantly, your mind being more awake than you had anticipated. It humors you that you always feel exhausted after speaking with Jungkook, yet here you are alone full of energy.
Tossing and turning continue for what feels like an hour and you decide to give up. Rather than reading a book, you walk out to grab a glass of water, your throat feeling a bit dry. You figure Jungkook isn’t awake at three in the morning, which explains why you don’t put on pants, walking out in nothing but a satin white t-shirt, with black lace underwear.
Even though you don’t like Jungkook, you still show respect to him and his daughter by carefully walking to the kitchen to not make any sounds. The living room has the same light as your bedroom and as you’re about to turn, you bump into Jungkook. His skin feels warm, but you quickly pull away and Jungkook blinks at you with tired eyes.
‘’M’ sorry.’’ His voice is deep, groggy even and you collect the dots that Jeon Jungkook just woke up.
‘’All good.’’
Thankfully, Jungkook is too busy going to the bathroom to notice your sleeping attire that exposes half of your body. You sigh in relief, accidentally catching a glimpse of Jungkook’s ass, being hugged by his boxers as he walks further away from you.
You shake your head, ignoring what your eyes caught onto, focusing solemnly on getting water as planned.
You’re about to drink your last cup when Jungkook walks past you once again. You’re not in the mood to talk to him, so you chug your water wanting to leave the kitchen as quickly as possible. It doesn’t exactly go as planned, the water trickling by the corners of your lips, further down your shirt.
‘’Fuck.’’ You groan, realizing how much you’ve accidentally spilled. The fabric clings onto your breasts and as you’re about to pull on it, you catch Jungkook turning his head quickly from your direction. The action doesn’t throw itself in your head, instead, you become annoyed.
‘’What?’’ Why is he still standing here? Shouldn’t he already be back in his room by now?
‘’J-just grabbing some water.’’ Jungkook mumbles, his voice becoming an ounce lower and somehow it catches your attention that he sounds nervous?
‘’Be my guest.’’ You move further away, trying to cover your lower half who’s exposing too much to your roommate who has managed to piss you off for two months straight with absolutely no reason.
Jungkook keeps his eyes on the sink, although you throw a glance at him and you really wish you hadn’t. His arms are flexing as they hold onto the counter, and the prominent veins and lines of his definite muscles are showcased. You begin to notice each small detail of his tattoos that have managed to flow into one big art piece on his arm.
You’ve been too annoyed with Jungkook to notice the minor details of him. His Adam's apple bops in the rhythm of the gulps he takes, almost inhaling the water quickly. Somehow your body reacts quicker than your mind, shivers coursing through your body the longer you stand and watch Jungkook. The staring gets cut off when Jungkook places the empty cup down on the counter.
He throws a glance your way, your skin already feeling hot by the close space. ‘’Well, goodnight.’’ Jungkook walks past you, your faces inches apart for a split second before he’s gone from your sight.
When you lay back down in your bed, your heart is beating incredibly fast and your body doesn’t stop growing hotter. What is wrong with you? This is Jungkook. As in your roommate, who’s made it his life’s mission in pissing you off and almost made you explode like a grenade for the whole world to see and the neighborhood to hear.
All while you’re wondering why exactly your brain feels fuzzy, Jungkook is freaking out in his room. His dick has managed to betray him. He blames it on his lack of hookups, but deep down he knows it was because of you. His mind had fogged for a minute when he caught a glimpse of what was hiding underneath your t-shirt, but as soon as the water dripped down he didn’t even have to try and guess. He’s angry and frustrated at himself and if it were possible to have a one-on-one fight with his dick, he would’ve. His body had only betrayed him and that made him certain that he had to stay far away from you.
Although, whenever Jungkook closed his eyes he could see your naked thighs, and the black lace seeping through the material of your shirt. He could see the water dripping down your neck, rolling further down your chest and creating a wet patch on your—
This has to stop. Jungkook begins to think of everything that turns him off until his state finally gives in, letting him sleep.
It takes longer for you. Your mind has always loved to play tricks, letting you imagine the what if’s of every situation you’re met with. They’re simple at first, only showcasing what you had seen earlier when your eyes didn’t stop studying every minor detail on Jungkook. But then they turn an ounce wilder. You’re tracing your fingers on the ink, while his arm is holding onto your waist, keeping you close and letting you feel his warm breath against your cheek.
Fuck.
Do you… do you want Jungkook?
Taehyung notices it the moment you step into work, how quiet you are, not daring to meet his eyes when he cheerfully greets you. Something happened and you’re not exactly proud of it.
‘’So, am I gonna have to ask or are you going to tell me what happened?’’ Your eyes pop open, gulping down as you mumble out a weak ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ and quickly move on with your tasks for the day.
Taehyung isn't letting that slide so easily and sooner or later he’ll either find out for himself or you’ll tell him out of panic.
It takes Kim Taehyung exactly four hours to know exactly what has been bothering you and just as you’re about to leave the kindergarten, he decides to bring it up.
‘’You want to fuck him.’’ You stop in your tracks.
Okay, now is the time to use your fifth grade theater skills and act as if Taehyung didn’t speak your thoughts out in the open.
‘’Fuck Jungkook? As in Jeon Jungkook, my annoying roommate who’s made my living situation a living hell the last two months? Oh please.’’
‘’Y/N, you know that doesn’t work on me.’’ You sigh loudly, rolling your eyes.
‘’Fine, fine!’’ You throw your hands in the air, giving up and Taehyung just shakes his head over your dramatic antics.
‘’I thought you, ‘hated his guts’.’’ Taehyung quotes you from the past hundred conversations you’ve had regarding your roommate and the new banter you’ve yet shared before you left for work.
‘’I still do! This will fade, do not worry.’’ Not only are you trying to convince Taehyung, but yourself as well.
Taehyung doesn’t argue with you. You have enough on your plate already and he knows you’re very much conscious of the mess you’ve brought upon yourself.
When you leave work and Taehyung, your phone starts to ring in your pocket and you’re thrilled to see Ash’s name displayed.
‘’Hi!’’ Your friend cheerfully greets you and the conversations immediately flows. She tells you how amazing it’s been living with Lucca and how they’re currently making her favorite dish.
‘’That’s great babe.’’ When she’s about to ask you how your new apartment is, Lucca cuts her off, talking on the phone instead.
‘’Y/N, come over! We have your favorite wine.’’ The offer tempts and you agree, taking transportation towards your old apartment. It doesn’t even faze you to text Jungkook that you’ll come home a bit later, too excited to see your friends again after so long.
Jungkook has just finished changing So-ah’s diaper, when he realizes it’s dark outside and you haven’t come home yet. Just as he begins to worry, he scolds himself internally for worrying about you as if he even cares about you in the first place. You’re doing fine without him. Right?
So-ah grabs Jungkook’s attention when she manages to roll over for the first time and Jungkook cheers her on, grabbing her face to give her kisses everywhere, her small arms flapping excitedly.
‘’Wait, you have a roommate?’’ Lucca asks, as they pour a glass of wine in your almost empty glass. You find yourself sighing whenever Jungkook is mentioned and you quickly see the images of his body against the natural darkness in the kitchen.
‘’Yes, two actually.’’
You spend the following thirty minutes explaining your scam situation, Jungkook and his baby daughter now being your roommates for the next six months. You mention your irritation towards Jungkook due to his annoying antics, and the kitchen encounter.
‘’Woah.’’ Ash’s mouth has gone dry from keeping it open for a while, and Lucca doesn’t hesitate to drink up the rest of the wine in their glass.
The situation is indeed complicated and overwhelming and you chug along with Lucca on the wine while Ash starts coughing.
‘’But listen, just because I’ve thought about it doesn’t mean I would.’’ Excuses, that’s all you can bring to the table and Ash rolls her eyes at your ridiculousness.
‘’Are you fucking kidding me? You haven’t had sex for almost a year. Babe, sorry but you’re gonna cave.’’
Your mouth drops in offense and you turn to get Lucca on your side, but they stay quiet which indicates they agree with every word.
‘’S-seriously? You’re gonna pick Ash’s side over mine?’’ You point at your ex-roommate who smirks, knowing she’s won.
‘’Y/N, you need a distraction.’’ Ash speaks first, holding onto both of your hands for comfort because she’s worried, you can see it in her eyes that slightly crinkle when she speaks.
‘’A distraction?’’
‘’Yes, someone who isn’t Jungkook.’’ Lucca winces at the idea, watching Ash explain an idea that’s nothing but awful and stupid.
‘’Um, maybe this isn’t—’’ Lucca tries to butt in, but Ash is stubborn.
‘’Nonsense. Isn’t your friend Han-bin still single?’’
‘’Well, yes but—’’
‘’Perfect. Y/N, you should go on a date with Han-bin. Not only is he a very sweet guy, but he’s an excellent cook.’’ Ash tries her best to sell Han-bin as best as possible for you, and at this point you’re desperate to try anything. Anything to get Jungkook and his beautiful body out of your mind.
‘’Okay, you can give him my number.’’ Lucca is about to throw a fight with Ash, but you’ve already agreed so there’s no point.
‘’You’re not going to regret this babe.’’ Ash convinces you but deep down your gut feeling shifts uncomfortably at the idea.
Two and a half weeks. That’s how long it takes for you and Han-bin to find some time for the date that he’s planning. The pictures frame him nicely and it’s no lie that the guy is attractive, although your mood is dreading a weird feeling that you can’t exactly pinpoint.
As you walk towards the exit, Jungkook notices how nicely dressed you are. Normally you don’t bother adding a formality to your outfits, but this… this is too classy, just not you.
‘’Going somewhere?’’ You turn your head, Jungkook watching you from the couch as So-ah is laying on his legs, holding onto her dad’s pinky.
‘’Actually, yes I am.’’ You answer confidently, holding tightly onto the strap of your bag. The bag whom your mom gifted you for your eighteenth birthday, when in reality you just wished for Jackson Wang merch. The bag is more expensive than your rent, and you feel weird using it today. Somehow you aren’t that comfortable being yourself yet, also the restaurant Han-bin has picked out is way too expensive for you to just wear your casual attire.
‘’But, I’m gonna be late for my date so I’ll see you later yeah?’’ Jungkook tries not to react to the word date, but his jaw clenched as he tries to force out a fake smile.
‘’Good for you.’’ Jungkook expects you to leave right away, but you catch him by surprise, walking towards him and So-ah.
‘’Bye, pretty.’’ You squish her cheeks softly, as she coos excitedly and Jungkook’s heart skips a beat at the love seeping through the room. His daughter watches you with careful eyes as you remove yourself from the frame, walking towards the front door and Jungkook’s heart doesn’t stop pounding, he thinks he might faint.
You’ve only been gone for an hour and Jungkook can’t stop thinking about you. His mind constantly brings back the small kitchen encounter and how both your faces were inches apart for a split second before he continued to walk towards his room.
He needs to make this stop. He’s here at home groaning and frustrated over you, you who’s currently on a date and having a wonderful time.
‘’So, then my roommate proceeded to drink the same water!’’ Han-bin explains jokingly and you’ve lost track of the many gross experiences he’s had with his four roommates. You’ve lost your appetite halfway through, the gross details clouding your mind, but thankfully it’s that and not Jungkook.
Before you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, Han-bin compliments your hair and you smile at the sincerity of his comment. It makes you realize that Jungkook has never once pointed out something great about you. Wait, why are you even thinking about Jungkook?
There’s only one solution for Jungkook to get you out of his mind. He’s collected the dots and it’s because he hasn’t sex for a year that he’s acting this way. You just managed to set him off. It’s nothing more personal than that.
So, easily he’ll just need to get out there, maybe Jimin would be down to go clubbing tonight, and hopefully Jungkook gets to take someone home. Which explains why he’s now talking to his sister, arranging for her to have So-ah for the weekend. She gladly accepts, her husband shouting nonsense in the background which causes Jungkook to laugh before his sister has to hang up, because her husband is messing up everything in the kitchen.
The date for you might’ve started out a bit weird, but slowly you realize Han-bin is a really nice guy and you enjoy talking to him. The conversation has a good balance, both of you speaking equally about interests, experiences…
‘’Want me to walk you home?’’ Han-bin suggests.
You have a lot on your mind, even though you managed to have a nice evening it doesn’t stop the nonsense that you’ve created for yourself regarding your roommate who you have the hots for.
‘’I’m okay, thank you for tonight Han-bin.’’
It’s a little over midnight when you arrive home. The apartment is dark which is code for bedtime for the whole house. So, you play quietly, tiptoeing to your room and trying your best to not make a sound.
You hear a sudden whine echoing in the apartment, and before you can ask any questions, Jungkook’s name is being moaned loudly and your body freezes in place. You’re stuck. Although, the moans don’t slow down, only increasing — the thin walls doing no favor for you.
Emotions are all over the place. You don’t know if you’re angry, irritated, sad, happy, uncomfortable… you’re just stuck with no words.
As you finally lay down, you squish your third pillow over your head, blocking out the skin slapping sounds and somehow — weirdly — the situation motivates you to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head.
Step one to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a clubbing partner.
‘’Taehyung, shut up you haven’t done anything else than complain about the lack of sex you’ve been experiencing lately.’’ You reason, as you look through your closet for eye-catching clothes that surely will get you laid.
‘’Fuck you, you always know what to say to get me to agree.’’ With a groan Taehyung finally says the magic word, telling you he’ll see you later. This was easier than you had expected.
Step two to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a club loaded with hot people.
Thankfully, Taehyung knows his way around town and the club he’s picked out is perfect. As soon as you both step in, the neon lights catch you off guard along with the hard base and the moving dance floor.
Going out with Taehyung is fun, until he’s shoving his tongue down a guy’s throat. Apparently they met by the bar, and Taehyung being the flirt, persuaded the stranger easily.
Sipping on your straw, you keep your eyes on a lookout for a potential hookup. Most are occupied, either sexting someone or having someone close by. The bartender in front of you notices the wearing frown that covers your beautiful face.
‘’You okay?’’ The unrecognizable voice catches you off guard and when you set eye on the bartender, your mouth tries not to drop.
The bartender is wearing a tight black t-shirt, showcasing his pecs and built shoulders. His hair is long, pulled behind a snapback. He looks at you with a worried expression, holding onto the counter.
‘’I’m okay.’’ You force a smile.
‘’Come on, I can tell something is bothering you. I’m all ears.’’
The offer is kind and just as you’re about to say no, the bartender continues.
‘’Listen, I couldn’t help but notice your friend making out with that guy for the past thirty minutes.’’ You turn around, Taehyung is still going at it and you roll your eyes over your colleague being better than you at getting some.
‘’Yeah, he’s got more luck than myself.’’ You sigh, folding your arms over the counter and the bartender cracks a laugh.
‘’Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get lucky.’’ He winks and your body grows hot.
‘’I’m giving it an hour, or else I’m leaving.’’ You crack, and the bartender raises his eyebrows.
You watch as the bartender walks to the far side of the bar and comes out front to stand right in front of you. He towers over you and you have to lift your head to look into his eyes, watching as they darken. One of his hands snakes around to the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. Your chest is flushed against his own and now you can really feel the hardness of his pecs and your mouth waters. He places his other hand around to the side of your neck, lowering himself closer to your face. His lips ghost your ear, the skin making the slightest contact as he speaks.
"You don't need an hour."
A shiver rakes through your body at the proposition.
"I don't even know your name," you say with a hint of a giggle laced in your tone.
"The name's Namjoon.’’ You nod, tracing your finger on his broad shoulder while his eyes continue to explore every inch of you.
‘’Y/N.’’
His grip tightens on you, and before you get a chance to speak Namjoon beats you to it.
‘’Wanna get out of here?’’
It takes nothing more than for you to drag Namjoon home with you, leaving Taehyung and his hookup behind.
Namjoon is bold that you’re completely blown away by his confidence. He’s managed to make you wet before even reaching your apartment. His words only build up the intensity of the situation and when you finally reach the front door, you look back, Namjoon biting on his lip as he patiently waits.
When the code is pushed in, you grab Namjoon by the collar of his bomber jacket, until you reach your room.
Namjoon doesn’t waste another minute, grabbing you once again by the waist to connect your lips in a needy and passionate kiss. It’s full of tongue, along with lip bites. You whine against them when the tip of his tongue coats your bottom lip as he mischievously smirks.
Your hands tug on his neck, pulling him as close as you can, all while his hands slip under your shirt and roam on your naked back. His hands are slightly cold, sending a shiver. With enough pulling on each other’s clothes in desperation, Namjoon is the first to pull away trying to catch his breath.
‘’Take off your shirt.’’ You don’t hesitate to obey, tugging on your top in a hurry before it lands on your bedroom floor.
Jungkook had just finished a last minute task at work, realizing he had enough time for a game of Overwatch. He’s focused on aiming, the mouse moving at a speed, along with the clicks on his keyboard. Just as he’s about to reach a win, he hears the front door lock.
He removes his headset, in doubt if he should walk out and greet you, ask you about your night with Taehyung or stay and play stubborn. The decision gets made for him, when he hears an unfamiliar voice coming from your room.
Wait.
Namjoon hovers over you, his hands wandering over your upper body, not missing one inch. His warm breath almost swallows you whole as you slowly spread your legs further beneath him.
He catches the signal quickly, moving more downwards, letting his mouth trail wildly on your naked skin. He nips at it softly, before replacing it with a wet kiss.
As he’s reached further down, Namjoon locks eyes with you, supporting both hands on your waist.
‘’Can I eat you out?’’
When Jungkook hears the first moan from your room, he feels instant irritation. In reality, it’s not anything he can actually get mad about, when not even twenty four hours ago, he was knees deep in a stranger. But something ticks in Jungkook when he hears how someone else is making you moan like that.
‘’Ah— Fuck!’’ Your grip tightens on Namjoon’s long dark hair, his tongue rolling over your clit in circles.
Namjoon is making sure you feel every inch of pleasure, taking his time with his mouth and fingers. You’ve forgotten how great it feels, and Namjoon was definitely the right guy to bring home.
His mouth pushes further against your core, lapping his tongue wherever it can reach and your legs begin to shake under his touch. It’s been a while for you, so your body doesn’t hold you back any further from the reaching orgasm, coming from beneath you.
Jungkook has blocked out the sounds from your room with his headphones. The sounds from Overwatch are helping him hear only the gunshots and effects the game carries, yet the sounds don’t stop him from feeling a tinge of jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit it, too stubborn to do so. But the thought of someone making you come this second, settles itself as an uncomfortable pit in his stomach and he grabs his mouse more aggressively, frustration coursing through his veins.
What are you doing to him?
Time passes quickly, both you and Jungkook distancing each other from one another. You barely throw a glance at one another. For example, yesterday when Jungkook passed by the living room, you were sitting in silence as New Girl rolled in the background. He knows you could hear him passing, but you didn’t even bother to acknowledge him. Jungkook wishes deep down that the action didn’t hurt him, but somehow it did and now he can’t be around you for his own well being.
Which results in one month of barely any contact.
Although, it changes the day Jungkook has to go to a meeting. His boss was okay with him bringing So-ah, as Ji-eun didn’t have time to pick her up for a few hours — and he surely didn’t want to ask you.
So-ah behaves, zero disturbance caused to the meeting and Jungkook lets her hold his pinky while his boss throws in the plan for the upcoming year.
When the meeting ends, Jungkook gets a lot of praise from his boss which flusters him as he leaves the building.
‘’Ready to go home So-ah?’’ She responds with her mouth doing all kinds of noises. She’s slowly growing more, and Jungkook is touched of how beautiful his daughter is becoming with each passing day.
Going home doesn’t go as planned. You see, Jungkook had always worked from home, due to his job consisting of mostly online work. So he barely leaves the apartment except for grocery shopping or to meet Jimin. Which is the reason behind his big mistake; forgetting his keys.
It was a new system. The code for opening doors had been dropped after scam episodes had increased. Last month the whole residency got new locks along with a pair of keys.
Jungkook hates himself, because now there’s only one solution and he really doesn’t want to go there.
When he pulls up by the kindergarten, Jungkook mentally prays the interaction won’t be awkward. Not that it hasn’t been awkward the last month, but this is different. He’s about to enter your workplace for a goddamn key, because his ass rushed out the apartment instead of being smart and double checking that he had everything before leaving in a hurry.
You’re gonna hate him for this. He can already imagine the slight frown you’ll have, trying your best not to scold him harshly.
It’s empty when Jungkook walks in, So-ah sitting comfortably in the infant car seat, which Jungkook holds onto tightly.
‘’Hello?’’ He calls out, the hallway completely deserted. That’s until a man peaks his head out, raising both brows.
‘’Hi, can I help you?’’ He walks towards him, drying his hands in what seems to be a cloth.
‘’Hi, yes. I’m looking for Y/N.’’
The man in front of him drops his mouth before it turns to a boxy grin.
‘’Oh my god. Are you Jungkook?’’ The face Jungkook makes, proves the man’s assumption.
‘’Taehyung? Could you help me with— Jungkook?’’ He turns to see you, your brows in a frown as he suspected.
‘’Oh, you’re Taehyung?’’ Jungkook completely ignores your confused state, too excited to meet the Kim Taehyung that his roommate is very fond of.
‘’An honor.’’ Taehyung bows comically, and Jungkook cracks a laugh from the action. Just as Taehyung is about to crouch down to greet So-ah, you step further, meeting Jungkook eye to eye.
‘’Jungkook? What are you doing here?’’ You ask.
Taehyung ignores your question, greeting So-ah gently as Jungkook explains to you the situation. He tries to make himself sound less stupid than he was in the situation, but you don’t seem to buy it.
You sigh, crossing your arms. ‘’How do you even forget a key?’’ Great, you’re starting a fight.
‘’It just happened, now can I borrow yours so I can get home?’’ Jungkook’s tone is a bit snappy, and you notice, quickly fuming on the inside.
Taehyung notices the tension, sending a glance to So-ah that screams ‘am I seeing this too?’ So-ah starts laughing and Taehyung knows internally that she agrees with him. He loves her already.
‘’Fine, just— Don’t let this happen again.’’ You say sternly, before walking away to grab your keys.
‘’Trust me, it won’t.’’ Jungkook rolls his eyes when your back turns.
You aggressively shove the keys in Jungkook’s hand, Taehyung still having a conversation with So-ah throwing funny glances, but neither you nor Jungkook notice, too busy staring each other down.
‘’Great.’’
‘’Great!’’ Jungkook responds more aggressively, saying a calm goodbye to Taehyung who excitedly waves to So-ah. And then he’s out of there faster than lighting.
‘’Jesus, what crawled up your asses?’’ Taehyung asks, scoffing in disbelief.
‘’Nothing. Now come help me with the outdoor tables.’’
He doesn’t ask any further, seeing you really don’t want to talk about it this moment.
Jungkook has already started to cook when you ring the doorbell. He opens, greeting you with the expression he left you with at work.
You return the same energy, not speaking to him as you remove your coat.
You’re about to walk into your bedroom, to avoid Jungkook when So-ah catches your attention in the living room, rolling around on her own and chewing on a toy. She’s too cute to ignore, so you decide to join her, sitting beside her as you squish her cheeks in a playful manner.
‘’Look at you, you’ve grown so much.’’ You can’t believe you’ve been a witness to So-ah’s growth. She’s already able to grab onto things, rolling around and rocking back and forth which is a sign she’ll be able to crawl soon.
As you continue to play with her, letting her explore and sing as she babbles all kinds of nonsense, Jungkook turns to watch the scene.
You’ve always been careful with So-ah, grasping her as your own and caring a lot for her. He’s noticed how So-ah barely cries anymore, being more calm in your presence. He can get used to this, watching you play with his daughter as he cooks for all three of you. He’s at peace, comfortable with everything in front of him and—
The realization hits Jungkook.
He doesn’t hate you.
You don’t know exactly the moment you realized you didn’t hate Jungkook. It just happened. One day you were in the kitchen and he walked past you, minding his own business and you didn’t have any urge to throw a remark. No, you felt at ease, letting your eyes admire him rather than watch him out of spite.
Panic seeped through you when you looked at the overall situation. You don’t hate Jungkook, you’ve thought about fuc— Shit. What does this mean? Do you… do you like him?
That’s crazy, there’s no way you’re possibly liking Jungkook or even starting too. Which is why you agree to go on yet another date with Han-bin. Last time hadn’t turned out that bad. The company was nice, you felt comfortable and yet something just didn’t feel right. Maybe it was the gross experiences Han-bin wasn’t so afraid to share with you, or maybe… because he isn’t a certain someone.
No.
You’re going on that date.
The moment you leave the apartment, Jungkook is taking his afternoon nap with So-ah so you don’t bother notifying him where you’re going. There’s a certain ache in your heart the closer you are to the location picked out by Han-bin.
Once again, it’s too fancy for your liking but Han-bin makes the environment comfortable with the company of his wild stories. They’re less gross this time and you find yourself laughing at a few of them.
Time flies rather quickly with Han-bin’s company. If this weren’t a date, you’d be more at ease because Han-bin is a kind person. But dating him might be a stretch for yourself, seeing your mind keeps tracing back to your roommate who probably still hates your guts.
‘’Hey, can I be honest with you?’’ Han-bin throws you off guard with his question, but you nod regardless.
‘’I’ve had a great time hanging out with you but,’’ Han-bin looks at you with a genuine and soft smile, ‘’I don’t really think there’s that spark you know?’’
‘’Spark?’’ Sure, you’ve dated a few people in the past but no one threw the word spark in the conversation. You think it’s cliché, like every romantic comedy who makes the spark obvious from the beginning. The spark that messes with the main character and their love interest, them tumbling against it until they get in a fight or have to share the same bed, which results in them sharing a passionate kiss and one of them magically proclaims the love they’ve always had for that person.
That surely doesn’t exist in real life.
‘’You know, the spark where you know that this person is much more to you. Someone who isn’t just a friend.’’ Han-bin says, his tone laced with hopefulness. It’s then you realize that Han-bin is a romantic, a person who believes in having a special someone for the rest of their life.
‘’Yeah. I’m sure you’ll find that Han-bin. You’re a great guy.’’
‘’Wait, you’re not angry?’’ It’s cute how scared he is to offend you.
‘’No, no of course not. I see where you’re coming from.’’ Han-bin’s shoulders loosen at your words, feeling more at ease since he’s decided to throw it in the conversation.
Before you depart your ways, you both come to an agreement of keeping in touch as friends.
Arriving late at the apartment, you move quietly by the entrance. As you’re reaching your bedroom, Jungkook catches you off guard.
‘’Sorry, did I wake you?’’
Jungkook shakes his head, ‘’you’re all good.’’ He doesn’t deny it and you feel a tinge of guilt, seeing the time is past midnight once again.
You’re about to enter your bedroom door with a simple goodnight, when Jungkook catches you off guard with a question.
‘’Hey, where were you?’’ Jungkook is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed which only showcase more of his prominent chest and his sleeve sneaking out of his loose t-shirt.
‘’On a date.’’ You respond coldly, letting go of the handle.
Jungkook hums, mumbling something along the lines of, ‘’I figured.’’ It throws you off, in a not so cute way.
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ It’s almost as if he spoke in a tone for you to hear on purpose, and you’re falling into his trap.
He shrugs lightly. ‘’Nothing.’’ He’s about to turn around, wearing a smug smile when you continue, setting yourself up for whatever he’s trying to do.
‘’Clearly it was something.’’
‘’Not really.’’ His unbothered attitude sets you off like a grenade, and you’ve finally lost your cool with Jeon Jungkook.
‘’You know what? You drive me fucking nuts!’’ You aren’t bothered to care how much you’ve raised your voice.
‘’You’re always pissing me off! For no fucking reason!?’’ Your face feels hot, the anger spilling out of you.
Jungkook scoffs, unfolding his arms and moving closer to you.
‘’I pissed you off because you started this! With your fucking morning smoothie.’’ He isn’t helping with the noise, raising his voice as much as you.
‘’That was one time. Do you need me to quote every time you’ve managed to throw me off?!’’ Your veins are straining against your neck, giving everything you have into your shouting.
‘’Go ahead!’’
‘’You took the rest of the milk. You spoiled the movie I was currently watching. You threw remarks whenever I did the slightest thing, and now? Now you’re commenting on my date!’’
Jungkook rolls his eyes at your comment, not bothering to answer you. Yet you continue, because you’re fueling on the inside.
‘’You have no rights, when you were fucking someone else!’’ You’ve given the signal that you were somehow affected by it, and Jungkook quickly catches it.
‘’You sound jealous.’’
‘’I’m not.’’ You cross your arms, determined to not let him think otherwise.
‘’Just admit it!’’
Your faces are mere inches apart, both panting at a rapid pace. The whole room is heated and you feel yourself sweat underneath your shirt from all the shouting.
‘’Fuck you.’’ It’s barely a whisper.
Neither of you move. Eyes are wandering on each other’s faces and that’s when you notice Jungkook’s gaze dropping down to your lips.
You’re seeing red, although your body feels heated as you move closer, Jungkook’s breath melting into yours.
Jungkook studies your gaze, before he moves closer, his lips about to brush against yours.
Just as you’re about to lean in yourself, So-ah starts crying next door, snapping the both of you out of your trance.
‘’I– I better…’’ Jungkook starts.
‘’Y-yeah, go ahead.’’ You stutter, moving further away and when Jungkook leaves the hallway, you breathe out.
What the actual fuck.
The following days you avoid Jungkook like the plague. You’ve never been more confused and irritated before. And yet, you can’t stop thinking about it. How close his face was, how his lips were about to seek yours until So-ah started to cry.
Decisions need to be made. You can’t continue on like this. You need to talk to Jungkook, without screaming at him and wanting to rip his face off.
As you’re laying under the covers, your thoughts are spiraling around you. You’re contemplating if you should ask him to talk now, because your mind won’t let you rest if you don’t.
Fuck it.
You get up in a hurry, walking in a straight line directly to Jungkook’s room. After a few minutes of just staring Jungkook’s door down, your body gives in, knocking on his door calmly.
When he opens the door, he’s surprised to see you.
‘’Hey.’’
‘’Hi, can we talk? No fighting, just talk.’’ Jungkook nods, grabbing a hoodie by his desk.
Jungkook doesn’t want to wake up So-ah, so you sit outside, with a cup of tea. It was your idea. Somehow tea always managed to calm down your nerves, and if you wanted to withhold your promise to not fight, you needed to drink some tea along the way.
‘’What did you want to talk about?’’ He sounds nervous, and your mind re-directs you back to when the both of you were about to kiss in the heat of the moment.
Instead of bringing that onto the table, you want to ask Jungkook some things that have never left your mind since you moved in.
‘’It’s more a question.’’ You make it clear and Jungkook turns his head, nodding for you to continue.
‘’What happened? Why is it only you and So-ah?’’
Jungkook lets your question sink in. He’s uncertain if he wants to talk about it, or rather with you. It has somehow been easier for him to distance himself, push you away as much as he could, but that isn’t enough.
You’re still here, sitting next to him as you admire the stars while awaiting his answer.
The silence overflows, the wind curving itself as a comfort blanket around you both as you admire the small lights peaking out in the city.
Jungkook has always been scared of your curious gaze, yet now, it makes sense for him to tell you everything, let his shield down and give you everything that’s needed for you to understand him completely.
It’s what is needed for you to stop fighting and stepping on each other for no reason.
‘’Her name was Seul-ki.’’ You turn, surprised he’s answering your question and you stay quiet, letting Jungkook speak.
‘’She was always selfish. I should’ve known better.’’ Jungkook trails his finger against the mug, images of Seul-ki flooding his mind.
He looks up, meeting your eyes and you smile softly at him. The smile brings an unwanted comfort, but it helps Jungkook to go through with answering your question fully,
‘’So-ah was around one month when Seul-ki got a huge opportunity for her career. She didn’t hesitate to take the chance. But with So-ah, it made it difficult for her to go through with it, so she wanted to give So-ah up for adoption and I just—’’ Jungkook takes a deep breath, slightly beginning to tremble.
‘’I couldn’t. I couldn’t let her do it.’’ Jungkook’s hand trembles against the mug, keeping his emotions locked in, even though they’re close to breaking out.
‘’So, she left us.’’
‘’That must’ve been really hard for you.’’ You’re trying your best not to hold him for comfort, knowing he isn’t exactly fond of you. But something aches in you when you see the tremble he’s currently carrying and how his voice has turned broken.
‘’Yeah.’’ He’s in doubt of what to say. But something in him continues, letting his inner thoughts win him over. Every frustration, pain and heartbreaking moments he’s felt since Seul-ki left.
‘’Sometimes I wonder if I have made the right choice. In the beginning So-ah would cry constantly, she’d be distressed and I couldn’t help because I’m not her mother. Sometimes you just need both of your parents and she— she hasn’t…’’
‘’Jungkook.’’ Your warm hand lands on his, catching him off guard.
‘’You’re an amazing dad. So-ah doesn’t need anyone else. You’re all she needs.’’ Your voice is soothing, melting him softly. He believes every word, trusting you much more than he had anticipated and with the hopeful eyes you’re giving him, he knows he’ll be okay. So-ah and him will be okay, without Seul-ki.
‘’Thank you.’’ Jungkook smiles, the first genuine smile he’s given you since you moved in.
You stay in place, letting the silence sink in between you as the cold wind flows.
The starry night is beautiful, alive even. Sparkling and twinkling above you, reminding you of the beauty behind this earth. As you admire the details, Jungkook looks at you, his heart healing the longer he does and he never wants to let go of this moment.
Everything becomes easier. You and Jungkook don’t fight anymore, instead you talk and grow closer as time passes.
You’re still looking for a new apartment, even though the tension has eased down. A plan is a plan.
Whenever you bring up the apartment search into a conversation between Jungkook and you, his demeanor changes quickly and he immediately shuts himself off. Here you were, thinking he’d be happy that you’re withholding your deal, not irritated.
Instead of letting it get to you, you continue to hang out with Ash and Lucca.
“So, Han-bin was a bad idea.” Ash repeats as you’ve told her how the two dates went.
‘’I already called it the moment you recommended that idea. Like it was the best plan you’ve ever had.’’ Lucca intervenes, crossing their arms. Ash rolls her eyes at her partner, too embarrassed that they might’ve been right.
‘’But, Ash was right. Han-bin is a sweet guy.’’ You say to hopefully cheer up your friend who’s about to mop in a corner. ‘’We even decided to stay friends.’’ With that, Ash excitedly cheers, and it’s probably because she’s a firm believer in friends to lovers and that it’s the most realistic trope there is out there, meaning she thinks in two three months you’ll finally have a spark with Hanbin.
‘’How’s the apartment search going?’’ Lucca directs the conversation somewhere else, mostly to cool down Ash who’s probably planning a pinterest wedding board for you and Hanbin in the future.
‘’It’s going, I think I found a place.’’
The supermarket isn’t as crowded as Jungkook anticipated when he came to the conclusion at the last minute that groceries were needed.
So-ah is clutched tightly onto him, due to the baby sling that Jungkook had mastered the older So-ah got. With her head squished under his chin, Jungkook walks freely, collecting the products at a slow pace.
‘’Jungkook?’’ His eyes avert to the sound, catching Taehyung waving at him.
As Taehyung moves closer, Jungkook places down the item to greet him properly.
‘’Hi So-ah.’’ Jungkook turns so Taehyung can get a better look at her, her eyes turning wide when she sees Taehyung.
‘’She likes you.’’ Jungkook notices and Taehyung squishes her cheek carefully.
‘’The feeling is mutual.’’ He cracks a smile. ‘’How’ve you been? Last time I saw you, you and Y/N were about to bite each other’s faces off.’’ The tone indicates he’s joking, although still curious as to how the relationship stands between the two.
‘’It’s… It’s better.’’ It actually is, and Jungkook’s lips curl into a smile with the memory of your conversation.
‘’That’s great to hear. She’s been super stressed with finding an apartment.’’ The information throws Jungkook off guard. Are you that desperate to leave? Right after he opened up to you?
Taehyung quickly catches how Jungkook’s eyes turn downward, his jaw clenching. He’s uncertain if he should point it out, or leave it as it is.
Thankfully, he gets saved by a call.
‘’Hey, sorry my brother’s calling me. I’ll see you around?’’ Jungkook nods, and Taehyung softly says goodbye to So-ah before leaving with his phone by the ear.
The uncomfortable pit never leaves Jungkook’s stomach after his run-in with Taehyung. He knows that there isn’t much time left, and you had made him the promise to leave the moment it hits six months but now? Now Jungkook isn’t so sure if he even wants you to leave.
The last few weeks are spent on apartment hunting. You’re barely home, too busy being to open houses after work and on the weekends. It’s an easy distraction from your repressed feelings towards Jungkook and it’s exactly what you need. Sooner or later you’ll leave your roommates and start over on your own.
Jungkook has an urge to tell you how he feels, how angry he is that you’re leaving but you keep missing each other. Whenever he passes by your room, he’s close to doing it but then you’re in a hurry to reach the next open house.
If he hadn’t felt anything for you, he’d be extremely grateful that you’re doing all of this. You actually kept your promise and made yourself trustworthy.
But, time is ticking and Jungkook is running out of time. He needs to do something, fast.
The weekend rolls around, and Jimin comes to pick up So-ah for the night.
‘’I owe you big time. Thank you.’’ He hands Jimin an overnight bag, with everything he needs to take care of So-ah.
‘’Don’t mess this up Jungkook.’’ He gives a warning and Jungkook’s palms start to sweat.
‘’I won’t.’’ Jimin leaves quickly after, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts.
Work runs smoothly for you, Taehyung and you, having fun with the children throughout the day but as soon as the golden sunset comes to view, you’re excited to come home.
Home. Soon that home will turn into a different place and it makes your heart drop by the thought. You’ll miss Jungkook, with his crazy and annoying remarks. You’ll miss So-ah, her galaxy eyes and her curiosity.
But nothing lasts forever.
The apartment feels empty when you walk in. You don’t hear So-ah or Jungkook’s Overwatch that he always forgets to turn off.
When you move to the living room, Jungkook is sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing at a quick pace.
‘’Jungkook?’’ His head snaps up.
‘’Y/N, hi.’’ He gets up, moving closer to you.
‘’Are you okay?’’ He hasn’t stopped rubbing his palm on his neck, a nervous habit you’ve quickly caught onto while living with Jungkook.
‘’I’m fine. I need to say something.’’ His voice is stern and you quickly step back, nodding.
‘’Okay.’’
‘’I don’t want you to leave.’’ Your heart stops at his words.
‘’What? Why?’’
Jungkook steps closer, his breathing uneven as he studies your face. ‘’B-because…’’ The nervous stuttering doesn’t stop and Jungkook closes his eyes for a moment.
‘’Because I–’’
Jungkook doesn’t continue his sentence, pulling you closer by the waist before he lets his lips glide above yours. His lips feel soft, and your breath hitches subtly right as he presses them down to yours.
The kiss is short, Jungkook pulling away just before you have a chance to act upon it yourself.
‘’That’s why.’’ Jungkook doesn’t let his arm fall from your waist, still holding onto you tight.
You don’t respond, instead your hand moves upwards, resting it by his cheek. Jungkook gulps by your action, leaning into your hand for more comfort and you smile softly at him.
‘’I won’t leave.’’ You confirm and Jungkook’s body loosens, melting against yours as he reconnects your lips in yet another kiss.
You clutch yourself to him, as your lips move in sync, giving each other every comfort needed.
Neither of you move away, letting the kiss grow heated. When Jungkook slips his tongue past your lips, you’re almost drowning in his touch. He’s careful, teasing you along the way while giving you a taste of himself. You’re just about to pull him further in when he stops, leaning his forehead against yours.
‘’Do you want to—’’
‘’Stop? No.’’ You hover your lips above his, before you whisper. ‘’Please, don’t stop.’’
You’ve waited too long for this, and now that you finally have Jungkook you don’t ever want this moment to stop.
Jungkook’s demeanor changes completely, his softness somehow disappearing and an ache begins to grow between your legs on what’s to come.
He turns you both around, pushing you down on the sofa. Jungkook continues to kiss you, his hand wandering on your breasts, before it drags further down, grabbing your thigh softly.
You offer to touch him everywhere, starting by his back. Your hands slip through his t-shirt to roam on the naked skin. It feels delicate against your palm the further you drag it upwards to his nape.
Jungkook’s breathing changes due to your touch, his lips moving further down, reaching your neck. His tongue traces patterns, letting you feel the wet sensation while your hold on Jungkook tightens.
It doesn’t exactly click for you that Jungkook is hovering above you, giving you his time with his tongue on your neck. And it only excites you more that it’s finally happening.
‘’Jungkook.’’ You murmur under your breath, bucking your hips forward in hopes of grazing yourself against his bulge.
He groans against your neck at your neediness, giving you a small bite which makes you gasp.
‘’You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting this.’’ He says softly, his words trail gently on your skin, and you smile from the confirmation he just gave you.
When he reaches your waistband, you grab ahold of his cheek.
‘’What are you doing?’’ It’s not that you don’t want to, of course you do. You haven’t thought about anything else for the past three months of living with Jungkook but you’re nervous.
‘’Let me make you feel good. Can I?’’ You gulp, nodding nervously, letting him have his way with you.
Jungkook doesn’t even struggle when he takes off your pants, removing them perfectly and it almost makes you crack up at how ideal it was.
Your grin is exchanged with a frown of pleasure when Jungkook traces his fingers on the fabric of your thong. He’s making you work for it and frankly, you don’t mind.
The pad of his fingers press down on your clit, making your breath hitch by the sensation. You feel everything yet nothing and it makes your body buck into his hand. Jungkook smirks by the sudden action, continuing to tease you with his fingers until you’ll plead.
The touching continues, a few presses once in a while making you hiss. He hasn’t dared to move beneath the fabric and your patience is running on a thin thread.
Without thinking further, you grab ahold of his wrist. You’re done with his teasing. It’s unfair that he’s here, taking his time with you when you’ve both been longing for this exact moment.
‘’Jeon Jungkook.’’ He grins at the use of his full name and you want to throw a fit.
‘’I’ll stop, I promise.’’ He pecks your lips, and considering you trust him, you let go of his wrist.
Some things truly never change.
He keeps his word, removing the fabric instead of teasing you further. The cool air hits your core, making you shudder before Jungkook can continue. His palm keeps itself rested on your thigh, while his tattooed hand comes in contact with your slit.
The first few strokes are slow, collecting some of your arousal and spreading it all over. Jungkook’s mouth is agape, eyes heavy as he watches your exposed heat and his fingers decorating it with slow movements.
‘’Fuck, baby.’’ Jungkook breathes out, stunned to have you like this.
The nickname causes your cheeks to heat up, flustered by such.
No warnings, and Jungkook inserts both fingers slowly, stretching you with ease. The feeling causes you to moan, as you’re too entranced by the pleasure.
There’s something about the way Jungkook works with his fingers that almost sends you into orbit. The way he gently curls them, making them pet on your g-spot whenever he manages to get his fingers all the way inside. The way his thumb traces circles on your clit, increasing the feelings evoking.
When you begin to feel overwhelmed, you grab onto Jungkook’s forearm, pressing down. Jungkook is even more determined to make you come, maintaining the same pace.
You feel the familiar pit in your stomach, forming as time passes. Although, Jungkook has a lot more on his sleeve than just touching you.
Being too focused on the thrill of the situation, you don’t notice Jungkook crouching down. It’s first when he replaces his thumb with his tongue that you’re aware of the what he’s doing. Your legs are shaking beside him, feeling yourself get much closer and Jungkook wants nothing more than to taste you.
To his luck, your body shudders followed by a high pitched moan as you finish. Jungkook pecks your clit, before moving upwards to face you. Your breathing is uneven, your whole body warm and you’re smiling softly at him.
When Jungkook pecks your lips, you take him by surprise, grabbing onto his cock through the material. He groans against your lips, astonished by your bold move. You don’t stop, pumping him while your tongues consume one another.
Jungkook is already hard. He’s been ever since you laid beneath him, spreading your legs out for him. Even though Jungkook is enjoying your touch, he’s impatient.
‘’Stay here.’’ Before you can even question anything, Jungkook runs out directly to his room. He quickly returns, with a condom in hand. When he’s about to lay down, you push both of his shoulders, making him land in an upright position.
You straddle him, wrapping both arms around his neck. ‘’Come on big boy, show me what you got.’’ Maybe you’re saying this because you know Jungkook will absolutely fall into your trap and amaze you.
‘’I’ll show you.’’ His gaze is intense, yet he’s already fiddling with his pants, desperate to get them off. You aren’t exactly helping, grinding down on the material of his pants, which gets him distracted.
‘’Y/N, please.’’ You’re suppressing a smile, commanding either way and lifting your hips to help him get his pants off quicker. You aren’t exactly better yourself, wanting nothing more than for Jungkook to fuck you.
Jungkook is quick on his feet, rolling the condom with ease before gently pressing into you. Your knees sink further down, inviting more of him in and the unfamiliar stretch feels pleasant. When your knees have sunk fully down, you take a moment to adapt.
‘’Shit.’’ Jungkook moans, mind spinning at how nicely you wrap around him.
You start bucking your hips, a hiss leaving your mouth as you ride him tenderly.
‘’Fucking hell,’’ Jungkook curses, his eyes now roaming your body and how smoothly you move above him. He takes the chance of grabbing your ass tightly, making you jerk your hips out of the sudden control Jungkook is regaining.
His eyes avert downwards, watching how your bodies dissolve and how he disappears inside of you.
The movement of your hips slow down, your body still processing your orgasm from earlier which had somewhat made you exhausted.
Jungkook helps you, grabbing onto your hips, leaving you to sit still while he bucks his hips at a much faster pace. Your moans are clogged, too stunned to process the feeling of his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly.
‘’Fuck—’’ You breathe out, clutching yourself onto Jungkook who isn’t slowing down. He’s surely showing you everything he’s got and you’re already close.
With no warning, you tense above him, your orgasm washing over you, filling your body with warmth. Jungkook follows soon after, giving one last thrust as he moans against your neck.
The both of you stay put, trying to regulate your breathing.
‘’Was that good enough for you?’’ Jungkook asks between pants and you slap him lightly on the shoulder, because he knows it was better than good enough.
‘’Oh my god! Jungkook hurry!’’ You scream excitedly, still holding onto So-ah who’s standing on two feet, ready to take her first step.
‘’Don’t let her walk!’’ Jungkook screams from the bathroom, finishing up his shower after his workout from earlier. You roll your eyes, holding tightly onto So-ah who’s trying to move out of your grasp to walk.
Jungkook runs out quickly not long after, in only a towel because moments like these are rare and there’s no way he’s about to miss out on his daughter walking for the first time.
‘’Okay, come here So-ah.’’ Jungkook kneels, spreading his arms open for his daughter and she screams softly, wobbling towards her dad but managing two steps in before Jungkook has to sweep her in.
You clap excitedly at So-ah having taken her first step and you catch Jungkook’s eyes watering.
‘’So-ah, you did it.’’ Jungkook kisses her on the cheek.
Moments like these are only the beginning for the three of you, and you’re thrilled.
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© jjkeverlast 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost any of my works]
#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook imagine#jungkook au#dilf jungkook#dilf smut#jeon jungkook smut#jungkook one shot#jungkook#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook#bts jungkook smut#bts jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook fic#bts smut
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"Izzy Canyon dwellers just want to turn him into an innocent victim who did nothing wrong!"
Actually my problem is that, in hindsight, Izzy didn't do enough wrong to justify the common interpretation of his relationship with Ed. In my book, the first time in the series he legitimately crossed over to villainous antagonist territory - someone you actually loved to hate for it even if you understood his reasons - was when he set the British Navy on the Revenge. That way he not only betrayed his integrity as a pirate by consorting with the common enemy of all pirates, but risked Ed's life too - cause, like, come on, that "plan" to send CJ to convince Ed to leave Stede was so far-fetched it barely counts as a plan. I don't buy Izzy ever looking at CJ and going "yep that seems like a smart, responsible, trustworthy man I could rely on for a delicate mind games operation like this". It was an act of sheer desperation on Izzy's part, but he still chose to do it. IMO this was actually worse than what he said to Ed in S1 finale. Although of course that was very nasty, too.
But the thing is, we don't actually have any info on what their relationship used to be like before S1. We were only ever shown, not told - and both times from Izzy's perspective: the first time in S01E04 during his resignation rant, which was very heartfelt and I'm sure a lot of it was true, but it's still one-sided, and the second time during his deathbed speech, which was, again, one-sided and this time biased in another direction - instead of airing his pent-up grievanced Izzy was putting most of the blame on himself.
Other than this, the entirety of Ed and Izzy's pre-S1 relationship gets extrapolated from one single episode, S01E04. The narrative itself seems to want us to see it as a microcosm of their usual long-standing dynamic, at least on the surface. We see Ed being depressed and suicidal, trying to open up to Izzy about it, and Izzy shutting him down and making him act like Blackbeard again. Since it's already clear that Ed and Stede are the main characters, we're primed to see Ed as the victim here and Izzy being an annoying, insensitive nag.
Except the context of those interactions changes everything. The context being that they are literally about to be attacked by the Spanish - something Ed knowingly brought on them with his decisive power as captain - and Ed is deliberately withholding crucial information from his own first mate and the rest of the crew, making them all think they're going to die and he isn't doing anything about it. Izzy wasn't just being a boring buzzkill not being excited for Ed when he showed him that ship model. He was actively panicking and trying to do his job asking Ed for orders so they don't all get slaughtered.
So, yeah, those are some very exceptional circumstances that don't say anything about their typical day to day interactions go when they're not in immediate mortal peril due to lack of communication. Was this the first time Ed ever told him about not wanting to be Blackbeard anymore? Izzy didn't seem very surprised, so probably not, but we don't know, and if Ed had confided in him before, we don't know how Izzy reacted - but I'd like to point out that this time he didn't ridicule Ed in any way, he simply pointed out that they were about to die if Ed didn't do anything. Does Izzy usually indulge Ed in the stuff he finds fun when they're not about to be killed? Again, we don't know, but Izzy's playfulness during that first confrontation with Stede in S01E02, and his whittling and jokes in S2 showed that he wasn't always as grouchy and joyless as he's made out to be. We actually saw him smile when Ed got excited about Buttons, too. Pretty sure if Izzy always shut him down about things like that, Ed would have stopped trying to share it with him long ago.
And, finally, there's one piece of this puzzle that doesn't seem to fit in with the rest at all. The show both told us and implied that Izzy couldn't let Blackbeard go because his own identity was too tied up in it, and because he idolised the glory of violent pirate lifestyle. But if that's the case, then why did he have no problem with Ed wanting to retire? Izzy literally gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up on the whole "kill Stede and steal his identity so he could live the rest of his life as a rich aristocrat" plan. If Izzy only admired Ed as a pirate, and was so hell-bent on keeping the Blackbeard persona alive, why was he ok with Ed retiring? How does this square up with the idea that Izzy had been keeping Ed chained to piracy?
I'd honestly hoped we would get some flashbacks of the two of them in S2, and then S3 before that hope died too, because there's still so much we're missing.
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The Deep Cut Deep Dive: Overthinking the Deep Cut Dynamic in Excruciating Detail (An essay by @TerminatorBuns)
This was originally posted on Reddit, but I want to share with Tumblr to see if Tumblr likes this format more. Also because I'm close to finishing a second essay about Deep Cut, focusing on Frye.
Deep Cut is great, I love them, and their relationship dynamic lives rent free in my head. The one thing Nintendo did for us this time is drop story mode lore for Deep Cut on Day 1, and it has fleshed out their relationship dynamic in IMMENSE detail, enough to rival what we know about Off the Hook. How much detail are we talking about, you might ask? A FUCKING LOT it turns out! We're talking about Tableturf secrets, we're talking about Frye's feet, we're talking about the implications of Big Man's breakfast on the course of his artistic development, this shit goes DEEP. I don't know who needs to hear this but Splatoon idol lore is the meatiest part of Splatoon world building and an absolutely BONKERS ride. I want to take you through that journey if you haven't been on it before, or just need more fuel for your lore headcanons.
I wish this was a bit more academic but I didn't have the time and patience to cite everything with game screenshots, so I'm assuming whoever is reading this has already played the story mode and has a rough idea of what I'm talking about. Spoilers obviously. At the very least I hope this will be an entertaining rant, feel free to yell at me in comments about stuff I got wrong, I welcome the discourse.
1. A Bunch of Theatre Nerds
Deep Cut primarily differs from Off the Hook in one way: they do not specialize in music, but in THEATRE. Each of the two humanoid idols are designed from the ground up to represent two different forms of traditional Japanese theatre, and it ties deeply into their dual roles in the game. The important takeaway is that each idol excels in one art, but struggles at the other, and we will explore what this means. Let's talk about Shiver and Frye; Big Man is a special case, we'll have to put a pin in him and come back to that.
2. Shiver is Rakugo
Shiver is a performer of Rakugo, or Japanese seated story telling. Deep Cut's day job as newscasters is represented as a Rakugo performance, and Shiver brings a fan and a little table to the job, both common props in Rakugo. Shiver exhibits all the qualities of a strong Rakugo artist, she sits in a Seiza kneeling position with excellent posture, and delivers the news with wit and poise. She has excellent, sharp facial expressions that she directs straight at the audience, she uses her fan to gesture in ways to attract attention, and she punctuates her delivery by tapping her fan against her table to create little sound cues for a listener. Her approach to drawing an audience to her words is multilayered and complex, and her vocal skills as a storyteller seems to parallel her strong vocals when singing (not that you can tell how good her diction is since she speaks in warbly Squid-Gibberish).
Frye is much less skilled by contrast, for a number of reasons. She doesn't even attempt to sit in a Seiza stance, and in fact can barely sit still without attempting to wiggle off her cushion. From a general speaking perspective, Frye fails to establish eye contact with the audience because she's always staring at the other two performers, whoever is speaking at the time. She also lacks all of Shiver's propwork and has no intentionality in her gestures. She compensates for her weak delivery with goofy, high energy antics that are charming in her own way, and this is what earned Frye a reputation as a fidgety gremlin baby compared to the cool, sophisticated Shiver. Before launch that was everyone's impression of Frye, but the arrival of story mode dropped a massive bomb on us that flips the dynamic COMPLETELY UPSIDE DOWN. Feet are involved, let's discuss.
3. Frye is Kabuki
Story mode showed us Deep Cut as a hilarious team rocket like villain team, but the bigger takeaway is that we finally see Frye in her preferred art form: Kabuki stage performance. Frye's entire villain persona is a stage act, she thrives as a stage villain and has the charisma and skills to back it up. I should note that Frye doesn't practice pure Kabuki with all of its strict discipline, but Frye isn't full, or even partially Japanese herself, since she's very much South East Asian in design. She has her own, maybe(?) SEA inspired take on stage performance, but some of her stances in the later sections of story mode are unmistakably Kabuki, it's clear where she draws inspiration for her style from.
Villain Frye is amazing, she's confident and charismatic, and genuinely menacing in demeanor before her fight. She has a professional code of conduct as a villain: she states her intentions clearly, paying respect to the player before her boss fight and offering to negotiate before fighting. She's the only one who correctly uses her smoke bomb correctly to make a dramatic exit, and she names all of her meticulously choreographed attack patterns like a proper anime villain.
Conversely, story mode is where we finally see Shiver struggle. Her villain performance is fun, yet inconsistent: she's unnecessarily melodramatic and overacts every scene, and she throws petty insults at you before breaking character to just try to run you over with a shark-bike. She fumbles her smoke bomb and becomes increasingly frustrated everytime you knock her down, unlike Frye who doesn't break character and recovers immediately after she is downed. Shiver still makes a fun, campy comedy relief villain, but she visibly loses the confidence and dignity she had as a Rakugo performer, highlighting how much she is out of her element. In Shiver's defense, she does manage to pull off that absurd sleight of hand in her intro where she switches her mask for her fan while delivering the spiciest piercing gaze, while Frye just chucks her mask off screen instead. Once again Shiver's dexterity in her face and her hands are her strongest tools.
4. Frye's feet
I feel like an absolute lunatic writing this section, but I assure you there is genuinely a need to discuss this topic in length. Forget Frye's forehead for a second, her FEET are easily her most important assets. Frye uniquely emotes with her feet more than any other idol the same way Shiver emotes with her hands, except Shiver's hands don't have enough lore significance to fill a whole section. Frye's feet DO. I would go so far as to say Frye's feet are one of the most SIGNIFICANT visual tools we have for contextualizing the difference between Frye and Shiver's entire professional art forms. Strap in.
For starters, Frye's footwork is MONSTROUSLY powerful. Take a look at her during her boss fight, she's playing an instrument, and hopping up and down on an Octostomp like it's a goddamn circus ball. It doesn't take a single eel hit to knock her off balance, you have to send her ENTIRE eel army at her before you can knock her down! I think the eels inside her Octostomp are moving it, so in theory she's not piloting it with pure foot power, but also she kicks it onto its side before she starts blowing into her flute?!! I have no idea, I can barely comprehend what is happening here.
At the same time, her feet fully solidifies her ties to Kabuki. Kabuki is an art form done without shoes, and since she performs her villain persona outdoors, she doesn't wear shoes anywhere. Kabuki is also a full body art form which requires precision footwork, and she has that in spades. This is in stark contrast to Shiver, whose seated Rakugo performance has no footwork whatsoever. Shiver's footwork is comparatively weak as a result.
Don't get me wrong, Shiver has enough footwork to dance in blocky Geisha shoes (I've been told they are Okobo shoes), but it's in a stage performance capacity where Shiver's footwork completely falls apart. Shiver doesn't know how to express body language through footwork, so she DOESN'T. Shiver stands completely in place during her villain performance and tries to compensate with her upper body expressions, but this lets Frye completely dominate her in stage presence. In most scenes with both idols, Frye physically takes up more of the screen through footwork: she positions herself one or more steps TOWARDS the audience and literally looks BIGGER as a result. Frye's full body poses are also wide and faces the audience/camera at an angle that maximizes her surface area to attract visual interest, which is a core Kabuki concept that, again, requires intentional footwork and positioning. Shiver poses with her feet together and her body turned to the side, so her screen presence is minimal every single time. In fact, she uses her feet so little in her villain performance that she's the one member of Deep Cut that fights on a vehicle and has no mobility of her own!
At the same time, Frye's feet are double edged swords and her greatest weaknesses. Take a look at Frye while she is newscasting, what is she doing in her default pose? Yeah that's right, HOLDING HER FEET. Her Kabuki background is so used to full body acting that she's restless sitting still, and she's holding down her feet because they literally want to EXIT THE PREMISES. Every once in a while she fails to contain herself and kicks off in every direction, threatening to kick a hole in Big Man's TV and boot Shiver's table off the stage. Frye's feet are a MENACE.
5. Big Man and Amateurism
Remember at the beginning we put a pin in Big Man? His arms are getting tired so we're letting him down from the wall now.
So how does Big Man fit into this dynamic? Nintendo confirmed that he is their composer, so he provides a music background to the team whereas the other two are theatre nerds. Big Man is unique in that his talents are largely background work, unlike our other two idols who specialize in stage work. However, that makes him a bit of an outlier in terms of theatrical performance. He follows Shiver and Frye around to both their performances but doesn't have much proficiency in either one. As a newscaster he stumbles over his words often, and his villain persona is just his regular persona but slightly angrier. He doesn't really dance and sing particularly well either, there's a sequence in the Anarchy Rainbow choreography where Big Man nearly smacks the other two idols out of clumsiness. Big Man is an odd duck in the Deep Cut trio, and yet, this is a central aspect of his design and his appeal, it's kind of the point.
The central theme of the Deep Cut dynamic is Amateurism, and this ties into Splatoon 3's core theme of Chaos. Each humanoid idol is a master at a specific performance art, and an amateur at the other art form, but the important part is that they show up anyways to clown around, and that in and of itself adds a distinct flavor to the performance despite their individual weaknesses. The chaos of Splatoon 3 is the contrast between a professional artist on a stage next to two absolute goobers, and the chaotic, yet dynamic performance that results from three artists of different skill levels colliding. In that sense, Big Man is the true amateur who shows up to everything in an effort to contribute, and his bumbling inexperience is extremely lovable. This is in direct contrast to the Off the Hook dynamic, as both members of Off the Hook are musically talented and completely aligned in their artistic interests, while the members of Deep Cut have differing interests but will always show up for each other, like absolute BROS.
The Big Man discussion does not end here, however. Big Man's sunken scroll depicts him as a member of the prestigious Manta Clan, with the fanciest dining set while the text describes the Manta Clan's meticulous breakfast habits. Shiver and Frye's sunken scrolls, in contrast, describe the ancient artistic history that both of them descend from. Jumping into story theories at this point, I would personally guess that Big Man comes from a different economic background than the other two. Splatsville appears to have the aesthetics of a rural city after a rapid expansion, many of the buildings are cluttered and old looking in contrast to some infrastructure that looks very new. If we assume that Shiver and Frye's families have lived in this area for quite some time, it would be quite likely that they were poor or middle class, partially explaining their concern for the underprivileged citizens of Splatsville. Big Man on the other hand looks like he comes from the richest, snobbiest kind of high society family. He's a fancy fancy boy.
The more important takeaway is this: Big Man seems to come from a family background that prioritizes formality and rules over personal expression. From this we can make an educated guess that Big Man started his theatrical journey LATER IN LIFE. Shiver and Frye could easily have been practicing stage performance from early childhood through their family history, but Big Man's family traditions doesn't lend itself well to open self expression, and whatever artistic ability he might have gained through his family does not translate well to the stage! Big Man's exposure to theatre would have happened outside of his family, possibly after he gained some amount of independence from them. I'd hazard a guess that his friendship with Frye and Shiver might even be the starting point of his stage career!
Shiver and Frye are letting Big Man, maybe even encouraging him, to perform with them on stage despite him being a relative newcomer to theatre. There's relatively little judgement, they too understand that all artists have been amateurs at some point in their journey, and continue to be amateurs at other art forms even after mastering their own. My boy is doing his absolute best to perform alongside his theatrical seniors and it's so precious. This dynamic is wholesome beyond my wildest expectations, I am HEALED.
6. Tableturf and Artistic Priorities
I added this section last because I only discovered this information after I had completed my original draft, and Nintendo is actively fucking with me at this point. Each of the three idols have personality traits that come through in their TABLETURF dialogue, of all places, and it's kind of the final piece that makes the Deep Cut dynamic click for me. Through their tableturf dialogue we learn a lot about each member's priorities as an artist, enough for us to explore in detail.
Shiver is an audience focused artist. Her focus in tableturf is centered on you, the opponent, and she makes it a matter of personal pride to compete against you and she takes her victories and losses very personally. No matter the outcome she requests a rematch, because her priority is the opponent's experience, as she seeks the approval of her audience. Her eye contact and graceful mannerisms are as sharp as ever up close as she is on stage. This plays well with the second aspect of her artistry, which is the fact that she has a Geisha aesthetic in addition to her Rakugo specialty. Hospitality and direct conversational interactions are a part of both jobs, even if she secretly has a bit of an ego and barely resists gloating if she wins.
Big man is a self-focused artist. He comes off as awkward and shy in a tableturf match, and we get to see a little bit of the bubbling insecurity behind Big Man's jolly smile. Big man's lack of stage performance abilities translates into his social interactions as well, and he uses self deprecation to downplay his abilities and expects to lose, being pleasantly surprised if he wins. What Big Man is primarily looking for is a kind of self-acceptance, as an amateur artist he wants to hone his abilities to a point that he can be confident in himself, and he shows the same anxiety in his social interactions and tableturf games. No matter if he wins or loses, his primary focus is on his own performance, and he mostly comments on whether or not he has met his own expectations. Every small victory seems to do great things for his self esteem and you just want this boy to be happy, let him win at card games.
Frye's tableturf mannerisms is the most interesting, as it turns out, and is actually the reason I even wrote this section (my Frye bias strikes again). The most important detail is that she fails to make eye contact with the player, AGAIN, just like when she's newscasting! At face value this is VERY strange: in the news room she is clearly staring at whoever's talking, but in a direct conversation with you, why does she still not look at you? I've also seen people complaining that she's one of the only players that insults the player after a win and makes no attempt to console the player, and that is completely true. What isn't very obvious is the additional layer of meaning in the same win dialogue that really clarifies her priorities in the moment, and this is a CRUCIAL piece of Frye's characterization. When she wins her first instinct is to tell SHIVER and BIG MAN about her victory.
Remember that Kabuki is a stage performance with multiple artists in multiple roles. Rakugo can be performed solo, and Big Man seems to compose solo as well, but Frye's Kabuki actively requires the participation of other artists, it is a collaborative performancr. This brings us to the realization that Frye is a uniquely TEAM focused artist amongst Deep Cut: her top priority is her bandmates, at all times! Frye NEEDS Deep Cut, her personal style of theatre doesn't even work without friends, and she's fixated on maintaining her friend group as a result. Frye is able to focus on an audience when she is actively doing her job as a Kabuki artist, but any other time she starts spacing out because she simply spends all her energy thinking about ways to impress her bandmates! She comes off as dismissive to the player, because her mind is literally wandering to her band friends, even when they are not around! Deep Cut means the world to Frye in a way that isn't as meaningful for her friends, and she's made herself into the glue that holds this friend group together; Frye is very much the heart of the Deep Cut trio. Frye's dedication to her friends is the actual CUTEST detail in this entire game, I CANNOT believe they hid this information in tableturf. Why is Nintendo like this?!!
7. Conclusion
Splatoon's world building is extremely art centric, and the lore they write for their fictional artists is some of their best, most detailed work. Looking at Splatoon lore through an artistic lens is extremely rewarding because there are secrets and details everywhere. I've obsessed over Off the Hook's similarly complicated character dynamic in the past, and Deep Cut is really making me relive those memories like that dude from Ratatouille, it's hitting me HARD.
In some ways even this write up is only a surface reading, I'm no expert on traditional Japanese theatre or SEA culture and I have no idea how many details can be uncovered by an actual expert. I also have no music background and the Splatoon team hides fricking lore in the fricking OST and I cannot begin to unpack any of that. I fully expect that there's more details I've missed or have gotten wrong, but I hope I've at least established how deep this rabbit hole goes, and how much fun it is to dig through Splatoon lore instead of getting enough sleep.
Anyways the next time someone asks me why Frye is best girl I'm gonna have 3000 words of documentation to show them.
8. Miscellaneous notes
- What is going on with Shiver's shoes, they don't have straps, how do they stay on? Are they glued to her socks? Does she have to take the sock part off to remove the shoe? She has to take her shoes off to perform on a tatami mat, but we can't see what's going on back there feet wise since she has a Rakugo table in front. Is her lower body even rendered back there? I draw fan art, I need to know this stuff.
- Shiver likes to take jabs at Big Man sometimes that he struggles to respond to, being a less experienced conversationalist and just socially awkward in general. It's not necessarily malicious, however, Shiver could just be giving him opportunities to practice his conversation skills and keep him in the discussion. Plus he's very cute when flustered, I dunno that Shiver can resist prodding him.
- Big man is differently abled in a very literal sense. He has no hands or feet with which to emote, he's trying his best to express himself with his flappy fins. He barely has functional vocal cords, just going AY and making warbling fish noises all the time. Big Man's body isn't great at singing or dancing, but it is very good at things that Manta Rays are traditionally good at. He mentions being able to filter feed, and his mobility is remarkably good in swim form. Big Man is also a pretty dangerous predator unless you have the sensor upgrade.
- Shiver's family situation is kind of a mystery, how do they have a tradition of Shark taming if Octarian society is a militaristic dictatorship run by DJ Octavio? I suspect that Shiver was never a part of his army and there are Octarians living outside of his rule. She's definitely a Splatlands native, members of Octavio's Octo Canyon army should have been able to identify Callie and Marie easily.
- Shiver's aesthetic shifts to a violent Bōsōzoku biker gang aesthetic when she boards Master Mega, since he's outfitted with motorcycle parts and wears those bad boy sunglasses. It's a sharp contrast to her polite Geisha presentation, and so is her entire villain persona. This is what I mean when I say Shiver's performance style is inconsistent, but Shiver's two-faced presentation is also super fun to watch and kind of her entire appeal. There's an aggressive pettiness underneath the polite outward presentation and the gap between her two personalities is peak comedy. - I only just recently realized that she's a Geisha with a shaved punk cut and that's amazing: https://www.reddit.com/r/splatoon/comments/xk5mtx/did_yall_notice_shivers_head_is_supposed_to_be/
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helloooooo! it’s been a while, and so much has happened irl so i figured i’d share a little life update for anyone who even wants a rant from me lolll
okay so a bit of a backstory for context: i moved to the states back in 2020, about a week before covid got serious and the whole world went into lockdown, and ever since then it’s just been so tough to exist.
being an immigrant is hard just by carrying the name of it, and then just having to deal with the incredible load of working through loads and loads of paperwork, gathering all sorts of documents, spending thousands and thousands of dollars, making sure to fill every blank line with the proper information as to not fuck up such a big process, it’s all just so damn much.
and then comes the wait. i have been waiting for four years for absolutely anything to come out of the process i started back in 2020, every month losing more and more hope. and then the government makes a mistake and you get denied, and then you have to spend another couple thousands to make sure THEY correct their mistake. and after that, guess what? more fucking waiting!
my mental health has been an issue for me since i was a child and it’s not a surprise that coming from a latino household and a third world country, i just had never gotten help because my struggles were waved off as me being spoiled or ungrateful, etc.
so it’s really no surprise that this whole immigration process has been chipping away at my mental health more and more with the pass of time. at first, it was easy to understand the delay since lockdown had pushed so many things back, but then it just got ridiculous. and then just adding coming to terms about my sexuality after years and years of forcing myself to turn a blind eye to it, and feeling lonely cos i had no friends and everyone i was used to seeing every day of my life was back in my home country. it’s been so much.
it’s not an exaggeration to say i have checked the status of my immigration process every day for the past 4 years, and even though there was never good news, i still checked - holding out hope on the daily that a miracle would happen and all those months i’d waited would finally end up in what i wanted, what i needed really.
cos for four years i haven’t been able to study, or work, or get a licence. i’ve had to stay home, trying to pick up hobbies to not drive myself mad while my whole family could go on with their lives, having to take on the responsibility of doing everything around the house cos everyone else would he out and it would just be lazy of me to not take the burden of it all whilst everyone else is studying or working.
so i have watched my life waste away in front of my eyes year after year, seeing my friends back home doing everything i couldn’t do, wishing i could travel places or even just visit my home country but not being able to leave the country at all, trying to find little things i could do to even get twenty dollars on my own so i didn’t have to ask my family for anything.
basically, for the past four years i’d had to watch my life from the sidelines, see everything from a third point perspective, feel as if i was being puppeteered by my awful luck.
september 2023 was the month when everything started crumbling down for my family, and as the eldest, it all fell onto me. having to parent my parents and try to solve all their problems shoved me further into a black hole and just, week after week, it would all get worse.
i remember at the end of november i said it just couldn’t get fucking worse - my dumbass jinxed it clearly cos suddenly the deal my dad had made back in my home country so that i could try to go to uni went through but my shit family back home took the money and so my dad came back empty handed, and my grandma was taken to the hospital only to come out of it in a casket four days before christmas.
i was so fucking angry at life. i’ve had suicidal thoughts since i was child too and well, they hit me quite hard back in december. i was angry at my dad for not fighting to take the money, for not realising he had given me a sliver of hope (move to another state which accepted undocumented immigrants in universities) and just didn’t fight enough for me to continue to hold onto it. i was angry at god for yet again taking another woman that raised me in the most cruel way and not even giving me a chance to fucking say goodbye (again).
and so when i went on holiday at the end of the year, my only goal was to distract myself even for a few days from that void in my chest and all the racing thoughts in my mind, and how much i struggled to simply exist.
it was a nice few days, i had fun with my family and i certainly did manage to distract myself. but then we came back home and i felt so claustrophobic again to be stuck in these same four walls and the cloud of grief over me that hadn’t seemed so heavy whilst i was away, coming down on me on a fucking downpour that made my chest ache.
i was debating going back to therapy but i couldn’t afford it so i turned the idea down as soon as it came to me.
and then suddenly, one afternoon after i had finally finished cooking for everyone and sat down to finally eat, i get a cryptic email from my lawyer telling me to give her a call.
i’m not even joking when i said i pushed my plate of food away and sighed heavily cos all i could think right then is of the worst outcome and i got nauseous thinking about how it would most certainly be that my residency had been denied again cos of uscis being entirely incompetent again.
well, when i called my lawyer and i heard the smile on her face through her voice as she greeted me, i pinched myself to make sure i wasn’t dreaming even before i heard her say, “congratulations, you got your work permit.”
i hadn’t realised the grief of my grandma’s death had been joined by the grief of my own life until i felt the relief flooding me at that very moment.
it’s honestly insane how one simple number or card can open so many doors for you. in a matter of a few weeks i had a valid ID, i went to college and enrolled in classes, got a licence, went looking for a car and actually getting one soon, and applied to a bunch of jobs (got just one interview but let’s manifest i get the job).
so needless to say january has been insane for me. my life has been flipped over and i’m trying to figure everything out slowly.
i do have to say, in the midst of all those years of waiting, reading and writing have been the things to get me through and though i have been making up for the lack of writing lately with getting lost again on books. im really glad im finding myself back to writing. slowly, of course, cos i actually never considered myself that good and after this long without doing it i reckon i really need to make the effort to be decent again, im glad im back reading my silly little notes on my silly little (not little at all) docs and trying to get back into the groove of it all.
if you made it all the way here, i fucking love you and i’m sorry for such a long unnecessary rant and trauma dumping (?) but i figured this helps understand a bit more of me and since you lot have been part of such a sweet escape for me, i wanted to share a little of my life with you.
anyway, i’m honestly so glad to be back. i hope i can adjust and get everything sorted so so soon so i don’t have to go away as much as i have lately. and i also hope i can get back to writing, at least decently, so i can share all the silly stories that flood my brain and that i love sharing with you lot.
okay i’ll shut up now but i love yous and i’m sending you so many hugs and kisses your way xxxx
#a big rant after the cut#giving you a big smooch if you read all of this#writing is going slowly unfortunately#but i hope i can stop staring at the doc for hours without knowing what to do soon#i’ll see you more often from now on i guess
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HEARTBREAK HIGH SEASON 2 REVIEW
Likes, dislikes, and some general thoughts.
TL;DR spoiler free review: I give this season a 6.5/10. It’s not bad but compared to the previous season, it certainly felt like a downgrade. Some of the editing choices felt poor, a few characters that had felt layered and realistic had lost their substance, a couple of interesting plot beats and character arcs were either rushed or solved with very little satisfaction and pay off, and I can’t help but feel a lot of the drama had become far too unrealistic by the end of the season. I had some fun watching the teenage hijinks, and there are stand out scenes/storylines that had me invested from start to finish, but overall I can’t say that this season lived up to its predecessor or my expectations.
Longer rant under the cut! SPOILERS AHEAD!
I’ll start with what I liked and enjoyed (in no particular order):
Cash owns my heart now and forever. Season one had already solidified him as my favourite character, and watching him go through his asexual journey, trying to navigate his relationship with Darren while setting boundaries was… Ugh, so fucking good. I’ve had my own share of relationship anxiety, fearing that because I had no interest in sexual activities that I would be hurting my future partner. Dusty’s whole talk with Cash felt so reminiscent of things people would say to me when I tried to talk to them about my own sexuality. I was so ecstatic when Cash told him to fuck off, because no, asexuals are not robbing their partners of anything. Our sexuality and boundaries in relationships are not problematic or abusive; no person should ever feel like their worth in a relationship is based on whether or not they have sex with their partner. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck right off. I was crying during Cash’s talk with his Nan. 10/10 best storyline.
Quinni not masking was so cathartic. Neurotypicals really don’t understand the stress and mental gymnastics we have to go through every fucking day just so we fit in. It’s so fucking hard and watching her be herself fully was just amazing. Slay honestly.
BI MALAKAI BI MALAKAI BI MALAKAI
All of the Australian pop culture references. So good. Chinese succulent meal. The reference to Scomo shitting himself at the McDonalds. Cash not registering to vote and his friends getting mad at him even though our voting is so shit and never taken seriously (I along with several people I know have written shit on our ballots and have never gotten in trouble ever). THE NUTBUSH. Woodsy’s little jab at Pavlova being from Aotearoa (New Zealand) and not Australia. Ugh, so good. Finally, references I understand /hj.
Amerie and Harper being best friends… Their protectiveness for each other… My heart.
The class camp made me so nostalgic. Can’t speak for every Aussie, but my camp did have the boys sneaking in beer. Although, we all got too scared so we all just had a sip before pouring it all out before we could get caught. We didn’t even get buzzed, lol. Also, the class getting high on shrooms together, oml.
Malakai and Amerie… Ugh, those two… So messy and complicated and I love them.
Props to HBH finally making an authentic (albeit toxic) love triangle. Only took a while but we got one.
Woodsy helping Harper with driving lessons… My heart.
Quinni being so hyperfixated that she survived her snakebite. She’s just like me fr. I also loved the editing changing when it was her perspective. This is her world and we’re just living in it.
Idk his name but whoever played Chook was genuinely terrifying. 10/10, I wanted to smash his face in every time he came on screen. Truly phenomenal acting.
Actually, I’ll give a round of applause to the entire cast. All of them did stella jobs.
And now… the dislikes (again, no particular order):
Spider’s arc. I know some people like him, but as someone who went to school with, and got bullied by dickheads like him, I could not get behind his whole redemption storyline. I really didn’t like how they blamed his misogyny and arrogance on his toxic mother - it felt like they were saying that men are only sexist assholes because feminists obsess over profiling them all as rapists and abusers which is so fucked on so many levels. It just felt like they were given excuses for his behaviour and how it isn’t really his fault, it’s because of his mothers abuse and I am so fucking over that theme. Abuse does not justify shitty behaviours from ANYONE. It can apply context, sure, but I am not going to excuse someone for being a fuckwit just because they have a shitty homelife. I was abused! I had hurt people around me to cope! That doesn’t make it okay!
Also… People like Spider are more likely to be misogynistic because of a sexist environment - not because of crazed misandrists believing all men are rapists. I think it would've been much more believable if instead, Spider hadn’t had a father or a close male role model to grow up with and became very insecure about his perception of masculinity and manliness, so he used society and social media as learning tools to form his personality and unfortunately internalised a lot of misogyny.
The conclusion of Spider’s redemption also felt way too rushed. He only stops joining Voss because the man slipped up while ranting and because he got slapped in the face. In season one, it really looked like they were going to explore how Spider’s insecurities around vulnerability and masculinity made him put up a front to shield himself. During his relationship with Missy, some points almost felt like they were going to full dive into exploring it but then they backed out, or they wouldn’t let the scenes room to breathe before rushing into the solution. I would’ve liked it more if Spider had time to really grapple with his worldviews and how hurtful he was being, and working on distancing himself from sexist ideals. It would’ve felt a lot more authentic imo.
And I really was not on board with Missy x Spider. I don’t know, it didn’t feel like an authentic attraction, just more like the writers somehow needed someone to jumpstart Spider’s redemption journey while also providing a convenient romantic love interest. Maybe it could have worked if they two were given more time to develop an understanding companionship and Missy wasn’t into him while he was still a fucking dickhead? Maybe they could’ve had the whole rival's sexual tension thing work if it was given way more focus instead of just “Boy see Girl doing something sexy and fall in love”? I don’t know, romance and sexual interest isn’t really my expertise, so maybe it’s just a me thing.
Rowan’s whole character was a huge miss for me, holy shit. It’s 2024, STOP MAKING MENTAL ILLNESS A FUCKING VILLAINOUS TRAIT. I don’t even know what the fuck his mental illness was supposed to be. I work in youth counseling and psychology, and none of his symptoms feel authentic. Was it psychosis?? Was he supposed to have borderline personality disorder??? Untreated PTSD with severe hallucination and dissociation symptoms??? Type 1 bipolar going through a severe mania episode?? FUCKING WHAT DID HE EVEN HAVE??? For a show that handled autism so beautifully in these seasons, they dropped the ball so horribly with Rowan. Bad character, bad execution, bad storyline, bad everything. Do your fucking research on mental disorders instead of just writing “obsessive and crazy” hbh writers, fucking hell.
Also, why did he need to have this whole dumb past connection with Amerie? Why did Amerie suddenly have a backstory of being a major cunt and bully? Why was none of her shitty behaviour talked about in season one? You’d think when her classmates were ostracizing her for the sex wall and getting everyone involuntarily sent to SLT’s, they would’ve brought up this shit. Spider and Harper had their personal reasons to dislike her but no one else brought up anything. Why not just have it that in the earlier episodes, Bird Psycho was spreading baseless rumours and misinformation? Then have people divided on whether or not they would believe Amerie when she went to disprove them? You can even have others making shit up to add to the situation for more drama.
Sasha and Zoe… Oof, bad execution all around for those two.
Sasha… Oof. Thought her storyline was going to deal with her hypocrisy around activism and being a sjw invested in identity politics. Maybe some exploration on how applying moralism to activism is never a good thing EVER and that you shouldn’t care about oppression just because it makes you look like a better person - you should care about it because oppression is fucking disgusting and needs to be eradicated. Should’ve known they would’ve just made her into a bad joke. Pouring one out for the missed opportunity.
I really thought that Zoe’s character was going to explore sexual insecurities and how everyone has a different approach to sex. Examining the difference between sexual pleasure and sexual intimacy. Maybe even some discussion on how it’s okay to have sex simply just to explore your own preferences and likes, and how no one - especially women - should ever be slut-shamed for liking sex. But nope, she was a really bad celibacy joke and a plot point for Darren. Yikes.
Speaking of Darren, my fashionable child, look how they massacred you. What was their whole deal with Quinni this season? Did they suddenly forget about her autism? Did they suddenly stop caring about her difficulties with masking? Season 1 Darren “You’re my too much” would NEVER have fucking told Quinni that the world couldn’t play be her rules. Season 1 Quinni panicking in the bathroom at a party? Oh, no, Amerie don’t touch her, that’s not how we help Quinni. We help Quinni by providing a quiet and safe space and reminding her that she is in charge of what we do next. Season 1 Quinni becoming non-verbal due to a meltdown because Sasha was being bigoted? Nope, Sasha you don’t get to talk to Quinni, no one forces Quinni to talk, she will do it when she is ready. Wtf happened Darren? It really just felt like the writers were trying to make drama between them both and decided to butcher Darren’s character to do so. Just… oof. Very bad.
Harper’s trauma being forgotten about or developed after two episodes… What. Nothing about her relationship with her dad, nothing about her relationship with using sex as a coping mechanic, nothing about her PTSD, absolutely fucking NOTHING. Why? She just felt like she was there for other characters to develop off of.
Also, Ant and Harper felt really rushed. I would’ve liked it way more if Ant actually went and befriended some girls before he got into a relationship with Harper, or even if the both of them became friends before they developed a romantic relationship but they really weren’t given room to breathe.
Also also, Ant accomplished nothing?? I don’t remember one significant thing he did this season that gave more insight into his character or that wasn’t just to uplift other character’s developments. It sucks because last season alluded to some religious trauma that I thought we were going to get to explore more. He needs so much more substance than just “haha, funny guy” imo.
Missy and Malakai deserved more to their stories than just relationship drama. Where was their Indigenous culture? Where was Malakai’s ‘gone my country’ story element that helped him last season? We rarely ever get Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander actors able to show their culture even in Australian media, so last season when they brought it up I was so happy but now… No mention of it? Nothing? I loved their friendship and their scenes together but God, I wish they happened more outside of their romantic relationships.
Amerie’s pregnancy storyline felt super rushed. Really wish it had more time to breathe, and to stress the importance of contraception and abortion rights. It all began and ended within one episode… Really felt like it deserved just a little bit more time, y’know? Especially in this day and age. It kind of just felt like last minute drama. Maybe more will come out of it because Amerie told Quinni? I hope the fuck not though because I really do not want Quinni’s character slaughtered.
Cash… Showing Chook… Where he lived… Cash is not fucking stupid. What the fuck was that. Making drama for the sake of elevating the story I guess.
Harper’s and Amerie’s dumb fight in the last episode that was really there so Rowan could have a mental breakdown. Yikes.
Wasn’t a big fan of some of the music choices. Few great songs, few iconic songs (Untouched by the Veronicas my beloved), but overall some pretty dodgy choices. I like BLACKPINK, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not that popular in Australia? And The Cranberries are amazing but again, not really an Australian favourite? Idk, just felt like they were picking from the Top 500 Charts.
Okay, the whole fire thing was really fucking stupid. In 2019-2020, NSW had massive out-of-control bushfires that ravaged the country. We have incredibly intense fire-safety because out country is so fucking flammable. Our sprinklers don’t run on electricity - the heat melts the protective plug on the sprinkler, and then water is released from where it’s stored in the pipes. We have fire blankets and extinguishers. The school would’ve been doused. And by the way, there is no such thing as only two teachers chaperoning formal. Not for 25< kids. And the cohort teachers would’ve been invited to go anyways?? And if a crazed man with fire did appear out on the oval, the students would’ve legally had to evacuate to another safe place. Cops and the firefighters would’ve been called immediately. All of the last episode was just such unbelievable bullshit, oml.
“Oh but the school is really sketchy” Idgaf, that whole fire thing was so stupid.
The afl over nrl holy shit. Like, as a queenslander, that shit really fucking hurt to see, I am so sorry sydney goers.
Alright some general thoughts:
Much of the drama in this season just didn’t feel authentic. Most characters were forced to make stupid or unrealistic choices so that drama could happen rather than just allowing the plot to naturally allow for intriguing stories to unfold. I felt like this season was forcing everyone to be involved in something tremendous at every single point, only then to become overwhelmed with how to finish or solve the issues so it was quickly given a bandaid or ignored in favour of moving onto something else.
The first season had the main issues of separating Amerie from her classmates, of people trying to navigate relationships with all the messiness of being a teenager, and of dealing with things that you don’t know how to solve. Characters were given time to be emotional, to make mistakes but not be villainized for them. Scenes and problems were given room to breathe, there was time for all of the story beats to develop and come together.
This season felt more akin to something I’d see in Riverdale or Pretty Little Liars. Over dramatised problems and a mystery that involved pretty shitty characterisation to pull off.
I still like Heartbreak High, and if there is a third season, I’ll definitely give it a watch, but overall, I’m not very enthusiastic about season 2.
One other thing is more related to the backlash I’ve seen from two of the main characters, Malakai and Missy. Some people are infuriated that these two bisexuals have ended the season in a straight-passing relationship and… Okay. I’m not going to sugarcoat any of this; stop being biphobic cunts. You complaining about these two characters ending up with an opposite-sex partner is biphobic. Bisexuals aren’t limited to only ever being in same-sex relationships, fuck off.
Okay, now I’m done.
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Some silly hcs for my silly little rarepair from a random AOSTH episode!! (Scratch x Henrietta hcs!)
(.. I wanted to write a fic but didn't know what to write about exactly plot wise 🥲 anyways this is probably gonna be cringey so you have been warned! And long! Probably long!!)
So these would all take place after they met up again. Scratch wouldn't be with Robotnik probably by this point and is probably recovering from y'know, actual abuse.
The two sorta meet up and Scratch apologizes for the whole amnesia thing (finally giving him a chance to explain) and Henrietta forgives him. So it goes from there (can ya tell idk what to make the story exactly, aa 😭).
Also I do hc Scratch as a trans lesbian. So um y ea. I use he/she for him usually.
Anyways, the two preen eachother like.. Well birds!
Scratch attempts to help Henrietta out on her farm, but he kinda sucks at a lot of the tasks. He's good with the chickens, though.
Also obviously motorcycle/bike rides! I like to think Henrietta has multiple, cuz I find the fact she's both a motorcyclist and a farm girl charming. She likes to speed through random fields near the farm for funsies.
The two probably move out on their own. Not far from Henrietta's parents (obviously) but like, to their own cottage (haha cottagecore).
Scratch is very awkward when it comes to showing affection. Henrietta will be all OVER her, and she won't know what to do because she's simply not used to it. Scratch does try though! She gives random kisses here and there and occasionally cuddles up with Henrietta first. It's not that Scratch doesn't like affection, she adores it. Scratch just doesn't know what to do cuz she's used to abuse and isolation. (Ofc except Grounder, yay siblings!)
The two do eachothers makeup because cute!
Self indulgent as HELL but both are autistic.
And share special interests.
And will rant about them to eachother for hours and hours.
Scratch and Henrietta both wake up at sunrise. As much as Scratch finds it funny to annoy poor Grounder by crowing at the night owl (or uh.. Mole) to wake up, it's a nice change of pace to live with a fellow morning bird. He still crows though!
Scratch will fight anyone who tries to harm Henrietta. Henrietta insists unless one of them is in immediate danger that the fighting isn't necessary, but Scratch sometimes forgets about that.
Pet namess I mean this is already canon. Henrietta has her cute little pet names for Scratch like dear, darling, sweetie, and ect. Scratch isn't very good at coming up with pet names, but she started to mimic her's which Henrietta finds cute.
They share a nest bed. Because I find Scratch's nest bed in the show downright amazing and incredible.
Henrietta gains comfort weight and is chubby, CRY ABOUT IT!!
Henrietta kinda helps Scratch learn about the world from a non-villain perspective. Scratch is still a little "evil" ofc, I'm bias I adore silly little evil guys (team Skull my beloveds). But not legit taking over the world, endangering lives, and abusive evil! Anyways, Henrietta kinda helps Scratch acclimate into a more peaceful life.
Scratch is secretly a bit insecure about how she looks, but Henrietta helps him love herself a little more.
Henrietta helps put Scratch together if he ever breaks. She's no robotics engineer, but she does know how to fix vehicles. So she has a bit of knowledge plus guides and studies on robots.
I'll probably come up with more later, but that's all for now! Sorry if there's any bad grammar or typos, I am so so tired cuz been busy on remodeling my entire room 😭!
#aosth#adventures of sonic the hedgehog#aosth scratch#scratch aosth#henrietta x scratch#scratch x henrietta#rarepair#rare paring#headcanons
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This is a Mandalorian season 3 finale rant (There might be cursing because I need to vent my frustrations)
Yeah, I really hated the season 3 finale of Mando. It’s the most boring, uninspired poorly directed, written and edited Star Wars in a fucking while. Easily the worst episode of Star Wars television as a fucking whole to me
what the fuck happened
It's sad because I was enjoying this season, but holy shit, for a show that was always good because of its emotional beats, they sure missed a lot of them (Unless your name is Grogu, of course, ops. Din Grogu urghhhhhh). It was so fucking emotionless and fucking anticlimatic.
I have to be honest
I don't care that much about Grogu. “But the show is about him.” He is not the main relationship that Din has in this season! That is Bo-Katan. It's ridiculous how these characters have grown close to each other since the Mines and the writer finds the most emotionless way to reunite them again and split them again and the director just doesn't extract fabulous performances of them as well and the editing just chooses the most uninspired shots.
It fucking bothers me the most is that this show is so concerned with what's coming next that they are forgetting what makes Star Wars so fucking cool: The relationships. Bo-Katan and Din have been saving each other's asses, sharing different perspectives to each other, swearing loyalty and they don't even get a goodbye scene.
“Maybe because they are not saying goodbye.”
BULLSHIT.
It's like you get The Force Awakens with Rey and Finn becoming friends, but without the moment that solidifies the bond from Rey’s part, which is when she says: "We'll see each other again. I believe that. Thank you, my friend." Was it so difficult to have them aknowledging the journey they went through together before they went separate ways? I just don’t get it how you miss such a simple and obvious emotional beat like this.
It doesn’t fucking stop there. Of course.
Bo-Katan does not seem happy at all when she lights up that Forge. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I WONDER WHY. Could it because a fucking tin man who promised to serve her until her life was over is not fucking there? And people will say “You’re delusional.” No. This woman was flirting with him two episodes ago, she’s been looking at him since the Mines in a way that she does not look at any other Mandalorian (and you all can deny it however you want, but the way Katee is directed in those scenes just don’t lie) and they just make him go away.
You fucking with me? You gotta be fucking with me.
And you think that’s all?
Hmm. Not really.
Ragnar loses his father, who was also clearly the Armorer's favorite son and there’s no reaction, no aknowledgement of his death. Instead we got a whole "take the creed" scene, like, godamnit, have some fucking compassion for crying out loud.
Moff Gideon destroying the darksaber is so awful. It doesn't work as a symbolism because he wanted that thing. It should've been Bo-Katan who destroyed it and that would pay off Din's line about the sword not being what determines who she is as a leader.
Oh and Gideon dies, but not really because we know characters don’t really die in explosions in Star Wars and it’s so. fucking. ridiculous. What a moment this would be if this kill belonged to Bo-Katan. Because... I don’t know, the whole season is about her.
*takes a deep breath*
I fucking hated this episode.
*takes another deep breath*
Wake me up when Din and Bo are a duo again and they are allowed to have their romance.
This finale was so not the fucking Way.
Not even in Star Wars TV. Probably easily my most hated piece of a Star Wars media. “You are a Rise of Skywalker enjoyer.” I AM. Because you know, for all its flaws, at least that films understand emotional bits and this finale just doesn’t.
#the mandalorian#mando season 3#dinbo#moff gideon#bo-katan kryze x din djarin#din djarin x bo-katan kryze#din x bo-katan#bo-katan x din#din x bo#bo x din#star wars#rant
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MW3 Spoilers Below
**This is a rant about a song but it'll include MW3 Spoilers just a warning**
Moth by HELLYEAH
Surely someone's already pointed this out but this might be the most Ghost coded song out there, especially when you include the relationship he has with Soap. Even the canon one, where you can tell they're definitely friends and teammates
"I've been cast out, sequestered
Pushed the fuck around
Blindsided, beaten, locked up and bound
Always thought I was human, but maybe I was wrong
I've been treated like an animal, since the day I was born"
Like, okay, child abuse victim and tortured by the cartel. "Always thought I was human but maybe I was wrong" yeah okay "Ghost"
"The wounds that I wear are like the crown upon a king
So heavy they lie, with all the pain that they bring
My life's full of longing, but for what I'll never know
I've been drawn into the fire as you reap what I sow"
I don't even think I have to say anything here. It's literally just Simon Riley, victim of everything, having to keep fighting cause it's all he has left. Become the Grim Reaper so you don't get reaped yourself.
"Like a moth to a flame, my wings burn away
When things are too beautiful, I smash them to pieces
The more that you love me, insecurity releases
I'll be the one that's to blame, so I'll sell my soul to a blaze
Like a moth to a flame, like a moth to a flame"
"The more that you love me, insecurity releases" So SoapGhost coded I'm sorry
"The ruler of the kingdom that ends up the pawn
So tired of thinking of where it all went wrong
Friendships, they come and go and sometimes they end
Wouldn't dream in a million years that this would be one of them"
"Friendships they come and go and sometimes they end, wouldn't dream in a million years that this would be one of them" LITERALLY SOAP'S DEATH IN MW3! Like, they're clearly friends, they've got something there, and so Ghost, who has lost everyone until now, finally has a friendship that's worth hanging onto, a friend he's confident nothing will happen to. And then BAM! He's suddenly kneeling next to said friend's lifeless body wondering where it all went wrong.
"Faith in the life, belief 'til the end
Failure's not an option, but the options exist
I gave up my everything, I give 'til I bleed
Take it all, take everything, just take it from me"
Guys is this is so them!!! Even as a friendship perspective and not romantic partners!!
"You're pushing me, I'm pushing back
Falling down, my heart attacks
Compassion is lost
No more hope, no more trust
I tore it down and burnt it up
All faith is gone"
Ghost, who feels there's nothing left in life after losing his best friend, his ride-or-die Soap, his Johnny, just wanting to burn the world down cause he's lost all faith in good things ever happening to him again
"I'm not a hero or a villain, not a god, I'm just a man
Staring through the hourglass at the footprints in the sand
I'm stripping off my armor, my battles here are done
Wave my white flag to surrender
And fly into the sun"
Despite earning the name "Ghost", he's reminded he's still just a human being. He's finally reached his limit after losing Johnny, so here he is, standing in the aftermath of the world he's burned and ready to burn with it.
It's just such a Simon "Ghost" Riley song and I desperately needed to share
#mw3 spoilers#ghost coded song#moth by hellyeah is Simon “Ghost” Riley#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap
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Hey Mac! I just saw the new video you made about episode 4 and 5 of Our Flag Means Death and wanted to share with you a perspective I thought might be interesting to you.
(p.s sorry its so long and wordy! I tried to condense my thoughts as much as possible😅)
I read an article recently by Screen Rant (https://screenrant.com/our-flag-means-death-season-3-release-date-cast-story-everything-we-know/) which says that our boy David Jenkins himself mentioned that if the show gets renewed for a third season then season 3 would be the final. He apparently also said that he has the entirety of the show beginning to end already mapped out, and this information kind of changed everything for me in terms of how I view the show and the way it is being created.
Shows that go for 5 to 10 seasons (roughly) are shows MADE for streaming, that being said their formula is usually to follow a storyline that can be started and ended every season and it's the characters that keep us coming back. OFMD isn't like that, I think the key is to think of it more like a long movie. and what we know about movies, or just classic storytelling in general (literally one of the first things you learn in elementary or middle school) is that a story has a beginning, a middle and an end. If you think about the seasons of the show like this-season 1 beginning, season 2 middle, and season 3 end-it kinda makes all the pacing issues and the ‘Ed problem’ make sense (or just seem more intentional-again David says he has this all planned out) and you can follow the trajectory of the show actually pretty clearly from there. Take for instance season 1, you said it yourself it's like season 1 (baring the last two episodes) is like setting up the story (love story) with rose coloured glasses on. That being said the show also lines up with a rough outline of what your classic hero's journey looks like-call to adventure (the opening of Stede and the crew in ep01s01 and the flashbacks of Stede and Mary's unhappy marriage), meeting with the mentor (Ed-who is also the love interest-and the whole 'teach me how to pirate i'll teach you how to etiquette' deal). You can think of the last two episodes of season 1 as like the crossing of the threshold (aka glasses come off) cause not only does Stede realize he wants to be a pirate indefinitely and leave Barbados for good, but also because season 2 opens with the next part of the hero's journey which is meeting new enemies and allies (Zheng Yi Sao, Archie, Richard Banes,etc.(Does Izzy count as a new ally?)).
Again, it's all very classic in format, but usually just not how tv shows made for streaming choose to operate-cause most of the time network execs are literally just trying to make the most money by keeping a concept going probably longer than they should-but I digress. Also again, if you factor in the part where season 3 would be the last season it's not unusual at all.That being said I think the reason they decided to have the crews trauma and ESPECIALLY Eds issues only start being addressed in the 5th episode is because they are hoping to have this be one of the plot points that drifts its way into season three and subsequently have resolution occur at that time as well, instead of forcing hollow resolution in the final three episodes of s02 and then have nothing to work with in season 3-this is another point that Screen Rant made in their article.
Using the three acts/hero's journey formula, we can start making really rough guesses as to how season three might pan out and given the circumstances of season 2, it kind of feels more right to me. Not to mention our dude Taika is the guy who wrote the initial screenplay of Moana which focused more on family than the screenplay which actually got made into the Disney film, so I can't imagine him and David of all people just glossing over all of the emotional reconciling parts of the core relationships. Anyways I thought this was interesting to think about and might also help in easing the nerves over the last 3 episodes of this season, again there is always the possibility this might not be true, or work out this way, but I thought it clicked too perfectly in my own head just to not talk about it. Like seriously the hunch is hunching right now!
Anyways Mac, loved the video and hope you have a great night! 😊
Hi!! First of all, thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Hope you'll have a good day too. Wow thats a lot of text, sorry if I misunderstood something.
While I understand what you mean, series dont really work like that. There are lots of "series like long movies" -plot based, not too stretched out, character dynamic focused, few series long, etc. For example, Good Omens, Sherlock, Hannibal (i think, never seen it) and more...
Movies start plotline in the beginning and have to resolve them in the end. BUT that doesnt mean there cant be a cliffhanger at the end, to help a sequel continue the story. And thats how (good) movie franchises are born- multiple movies are made to elaborate on the first original story, because there simply wasnt enough time to tell it in its entirety in one movie.
Series like ofmd go hannibal etc.. Were made to be series, because they couldnt possibly fit the entire story in a movie format. But when you make the decision to make a series, you also have to comply to the series format. So if its not a limited series, it will probably have multiple seasons, overall theme and will start a plot in first season that will to some extent, continue until the last one, while at the same time having multiple sub plots that will end with each season. They have to end at the end of the season, otherwise the overall season experience wont be satisfying. You watched all that and for what? Just to wait another year to actually see anything happen?
Now i can finally explain what I meant by all this :D OFMD in its entirety cant be like a movie, for its a series. They are formatted differently. If we wanted to compare it to a film, then the only way to do so is to make each season a new movie in a franchise. Each season has to have a satisfying experience on its own while ending in a way that leaves stuff that the next season can work with.
You cant make a bad season and then try to excuse it with "Its only a filler between act one and three" because while that would be excusable in movie, it's not really in series. because then youre just left with a second season that feels unfinished and rushed.
But even story wise, it just doesnt make sense to start redemption arc of the protagonist in act 2, get him together with the love interest and then actually redeem him in act 3. Its weird idk
I'm not saying that this season is bad when it hasnt dropped in its entirety yet tho. Dont quote me on that. I love ofmd and i really am enjoying this season. It just has more flaws than the first one.
Sorry that i rambled a bit and also sorry if it doesnt make sense. Im in school rn its hard to write something sensible while trying to pay attention to geometry or whatever we're doing
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SIMPATICO FERAL SPARK BABY
Eeeeeeheeheeheee 🥰🥰 one of my favorites!
SO! BACKSTORY
Perceptor was turned into a sparkeater but has since regained his sentience. How is not important, just know that he has. He and Brainstorm had a long period of celibacy fuz, surprise surprise, sparkeaters have acidic energon that can eat through anything, and that translates to other bodily functions as well. Coolant they produce, tears, oral solvent... even transfluid. So they were stuck looking for a workaround and finally got it in the form of a gestation tank reinforcement and a lubricant that acts as a buffer to neutralize the acid. After months of not being able to touch each other, they kinda went a little crazy. Percy may have even entered a sparkeater rut 🤭 anyway. They fuck like animals for like 10 days straight, and when they're finally done Brainstorm is, of course, expecting. How could he not be? Constant spark-to-spark contact and his gestation tank topped up for so long?
(I headcanon in order to conceive cybertronians have to both share spark energy and fill the gestation tank to capacity)
And Percy... is terrified
This AU operates under the idea that sparkeaters can proliferate as parasites; sometimes they'll capture normal mecha and forcibly impregnate them (with their tentacles doubling as a reproductive organ. Think like Alien), and when the sparkling reaches maturity they'll consume their carrier's spark from the inside, cannibalizing them before they're born.
He suggests termination. He doesn't want to risk Brainstorm's safety, but his mate just starts going on about how exciting this is, they're going to be parents, they made this sparkling together, how can he possibly want to berid of it?! Brainstorm tells him it's fine, no big deal! You were in rut, you weren't yourself, but more importantly, we're having a baby-
And Percy just snaps at him to, "Shut UP, Brainstorm!"
Goes on a little rant about how dangerous this is! Doesn't he realize the risks?! How can he be happy about this?! He could die! "Have some more respect for your life! Have some perspective! It could KILL YOU! Doesn't that mean anything?!"Brainstorm is silent for a second, optics wide, and Percy takes a few vents, starting to shake. He brings one hand up to rub his optics. "I'm... my apologies. I- I didn't mean to snap at you, I... I just..."
And Brainstorm carefully sidles up to him, gently reaching up to touch his cheek. "Hey... it- it's ok, Percy. We'll figure this out. You and me, together, ok? You don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine. We can do this together." Kisses him softly, then gently grabs his other hand and guides it to his own chassis. "Feel that?" It's warmer than usual, evidence of the extra life he's hosting. "That's them. That's our newspark! We made them together, Percy. And I love both of you too much to ever think about dying and leaving you."
Gonna cut it here cuz I don't wanna ramble for too long, but I'd be glad to share more! Crazy monster carrying cycle, the way the little bean is feral when he's born, even a sketch of the baby boy 👀 tbc?
A lot of this was developed with the help of @rcxdirectrix! Lots and lots of s-tier art, go like and reblog literally everything right now!
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on light signs & fandom etiquette 🚥
one cpn and a whole lot of personal opinion. i want to write my thoughts about this topic. this is my least favorite thing to talk about as it touches on how people act which can’t be controlled both online and offline. to those who have no idea, it’s about some fandom drama during sdc finale live. this will be more on what i learned and observed. this whole post can be preachy and rant-y so beware. i just needed a place to reflect.
I’ll start with this exchange. It looks like Nathan Lee was asking Bobo if the light sign was his. What it means. Fans are saying it’s because the color is yellow that Nathan was not sure. He must know in a way that “Bo” could be equal to Yibo. Or maybe not. Then you see Yibo explaining yes it’s his. Bo. Yibo.
then hangeng comes in to explain as well and back yibo up then stops him. as if to make the conversation end, less he says more — this part is cpn. to me this is an interesting exchange because yibo clearly owns up to the light sign. it’s his. i have never doubted that bobo knows there are cpfs out there and he appreciates us, tho he cannot say it in the open. we understand. we always did.
There are videos out there of 🏍 vs. turtles. confiscated bjyx green and red light signs. in general, just the two fandoms shading each other. which are of course shared to the international audience. and well, you can take a guess which garbage dump app it’s popular in. I won’t go into the details because that’s not the point. This is not something new. there’s always been friction between cpf and solos. We know how toxic c-fandom is. Hell, even their government knows and they can’t do much about it. It’s the kind of thing i never understood and would never dream to emulate so i can fit in. sadly, lots of international fans adopt the “authentic” fandom behavior and are proud of it. wear it like a badge. there is only a handful who sees the whole c-fandom toxicity for the chaotic circus that it is and avoid copying it.
So, why are cpfs so hated? It’s because we shouldn’t exist. for a time it’s fine — but not this long. not this loud and prominent. brands love catering to solo fans/groups and even their companies do. it’s always been this way and not only in China. CPFs are considered a novelty, something that happens because of a project and are expected to fade when it ends. Also viewed as second-rate fans because their attention and support is split instead of giving their 100% to one artist. They ( artist and company ) can’t endorse and have an open bias to a CP because the artist must maintain the status of being single. An individual who can be paired up with anyone as needed. We are hated and considered a nuisance because we’re still here and thriving. Example, there were far more BJYX fan sites from last night’s event than solos. We still continue to show up. Support. We continue to stay relevant. I can understand the irritation from a toxic solo’s perspective and it gets worse if that person hates xiao zhan or yibo. To them, how dare we have the audacity to enjoy something. The nerve to spend our time and resources on a fandom that makes us happy. lol.
I personally don’t care who is better. Do you want the title of best yibo fan / best xiao zhan fan? sure. It’s yours. It’s theirs. I don’t need it. I’m here for the fun. The ( mostly ) stress free space I’ve created. zz/wyb is my happy place. That’s all I want.
CPFs are far from perfect. We’ve had our fair share of blunders and I personally have certain fandom personalities that I wish would just close their accounts. It is what it is. We can’t control each other’s behaviors. Some so/o pick a certain bad incident and that’s gonna be the way they look at us forever. Or they just go with the flow because it’s a sick pre requisite to hate on cpfs to get your so/o fandom loyalty card apparently. I will never understand wanting people to shut up just because you don’t like what they do. This is not some social justice issue. I like zz/wyb, you only like one of them. So? What’s the big deal. If you don’t like CP stuff then don’t seek us out. AND I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH TO CPFs, don’t bait them. Tag stuff properly. Please stop commenting CP things in obvious solo posts. This is why I stopped thinking about their opinion. Candies are for us and not them. We don’t need to convert them — that’s not the goal. At least to me ( the goal ) it’s to support the boys. Enjoy this fandom and try to keep away from drama.
Now the big question that’s related to SDC — Should CPFs bring their dolls and BJYX lights in solo events? My answer is Yes and No.
Yes because it’s their life and they can bring what they want. Bring 10 dolls, sure. For example the dolls lined up and taking photos @ GG’s ADLAD was seen by passer by as cute. Because it is. To those who don’t understand dolls and how it relates to fandom — just shut up please. Let people enjoy things. Some people enjoy drugs and being an asshole — then you have women who loves to bring their fandom dolls to events. to each their own. Even if it’s a “xiao zhan” character doll in an event that is for Yibo ( well it’s not just yibo, it’s SDC. people who watch the show are welcome ) , honestly. who the fuck cares. it’s a harmless non living thing. As for the light signs— sure, but I draw the line on trying to catch too much attention. They know unrelated light signs are not allowed so the rules should be followed. I’m sure the security and staff were only briefed about so/o light signs. No one is persecuting them. They know the rules. I know they have good intentions but we gotta be careful to not trouble Yibo.
No when it’s blatant baiting of so/os. some people really just love drama and will incite stuff. Also i’m not a fan of attention-seeking. Don’t shout BJYX at zz or wyb please. Don’t private message their friends or ask their co-stars about them. We are supposed to be low key about this. They know we exist — no need to beg for their attention.
I may be wrong about certain things that I just said but it’s all my personal opinion. At the end of the day, we will participate and act in this fandom with our own limits. I wish offline “fights” will be avoided in the future. We can all peacefully co exist by ignoring each other. 🙏🏼
-END.
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Ronance Femslash February
OK, today’s prompt comes from @allnewtpir. I didn’t quite fulfill the full scope of your prompt, but I think I might give it another shot tomorrow. Still no guarantee I’ll get at exactly what you were hoping for, but I think this definitely fulfills the spirit of “Ronance clothes sharing in the most cursed way possible.”
I’m accepting Ronance prompts all month for Femslash February. Anon asks are totally fine, and you’re welcome to send more than one prompt. Don’t be shy! Please, keep them coming! You can find previous prompts I’ve filled here.
“No,” Robin says. “No. Absolutely not. You can’t make me.”
Nancy shoots her a look that probably makes freshmen newspaper staffers cower, but which has next to no effect on Robin. “Are you going to fight me on every single thing?”
“I think I’ve been extremely accommodating,” Robin snaps back. “When you wanted me to shave my legs because my hair would show through the stupid pantyhose, I did it. When you insisted you had to paint my nails because the color I had on was chipped, I said fine. And when you decided you needed to curl my hair for some godforsaken reason, I didn’t argue, even though you definitely burned the tip of my ear, thank you very much. But this is too far. I’m drawing the line. No way.”
Nancy sets her jaw. “Literally every other woman on the planet wears one without complaining about it, but, sure, I guess it’s unreasonable of me to ask you to wear a bra for a couple of hours.”
“First of all,” Robin says, ticking off her point with one beige-manicured finger, “lots of women don’t wear bras. Remember Miss Hennessey? She definitely didn’t wear a bra and I know that because all the boys in my fifth-period art class freshman year spent every single class whispering about how they could see the outline of her nipples. Also because I looked down her shirt once when she was showing me how to do single point perspective but that was an accident and I still feel kind of guilty about it.” She must really be annoyed because this rant has gone way off the rails. She holds up a second finger, trying to reel herself back in. “Secondly, you’re seriously going to tell me you haven’t heard, like, every girl you know complain about wearing a bra at some point or another?”
“Of course they—” Nancy lets out an indignant huff. “Obviously they’re not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, but I—” Nancy throws up her hands. “I don’t know, Robin, it’s just what you do.”
“Um, I’m sorry, I’m pretty sure feminists had a whole thing about how it doesn’t have to be what you do. They burned their bras about it and everything.”
Nancy seems to know Robin’s got her there, because she changes gears. “Do you really want some middle aged psychiatric doctor looking at your nipples the way Trevor Henslow looked at Miss Hennessey’s?”
Robin gives a whole body shudder. “Ew, gross.”
Nancy smirks, and it’s clear she knows she’s won this round. “That’s what I thought.”
“. . . Fine,” Robin says, with a long-suffering sigh. “But I’m doing this for Max, not for you. And also because I don’t want some old creep to get an eyeful.”
“Finally,” Nancy breathes, and holds out the bra again. Begrudgingly, Robin reaches out to take it.
#ronance#robin x nancy#robin/nancy#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#ronance femslash february#femslash february
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Love Belt - Choi Jongho
Genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending :D
Warnings: Jealousy, Crying, Ghosting, Kissing, College D:, Cursing, Tooth Rotting Fluff
Word Count: 2.3k exactly WE UP!!
Pairing: c. jh x gender non-specified reader
(a/n): hiiii~ I was like, super sad the other day and kept listening to love belt on repeat for hours. so I decided to write this. I recommend listening to Love Belt for this fanfic, but who knows, maybe I'll make a playlist for every fanfic! Enjoy~ Mwah!
“I just don’t understand why he is so angry over me having a new study partner, we don’t even have the same classes anymore!” you rant to your best friend frantically, your hands moving just as fast as your mouth.
“Do you think you’re spending too much time in the studio, and Jongho is jealous or something? I mean, even I’ve noticed your study sessions turning into full-blown study nights,” Mel was trying desperately to calm you down, especially knowing how dramatic you can be at times. She just couldn’t believe that Jongho, of all people, would be the one ignoring you, “ He has been busy lately too, maybe he is just tired, or maybe your schedules don’t match up well.”
“I know his schedule by heart, which is also why I know that he has been ignoring me. I’ve tried to meet up with him every day this week dammit! The thing is, I haven’t done anything new besides study with Hyunjin these days,” the stress from the previous two weeks spills out of your mouth, and your fingers go cold despite the warm drink in your hands.
“It’s only been two weeks, and next week is finals week. He could be studying, take a breath friend. Breaking down in a cafe would make you so embarrassed later,” Mel’s hand rested on your shoulder as you let out a breathy laugh.
“I don’t know Mel. He has never been this distant, not for two weeks at least. Maybe a day, maybe even a week, but he would always come back to talk it out,” the blood rushing in your ears and the lump sitting heavy in your throat made it apparent how affected you were by his absence. Even if you wanted to act unbothered, you couldn’t. It was Jongho after all, how can you be calm when you feel you’ve just lost your home over a damned study partner?
“It just feels absent without him around me for this long. I feel like everything I lay eyes on is tarnished. This is just stressful, and for what?” Mel sighs, her arms wrapping around your shoulders and squeezing you tight. You lean into her touch, chasing the fleeting sense of relief it gives you. Still, your heart wrenches with loneliness as a memory of Jongho’s smile invades your consciousness.
“I know, hun. How about you try again tonight, hm? Ask him to come over.”
“I have to paint with Hyujin tonight. I have my final project due next week and I’m struggling with the perspective view of the buildings. Ughhh and the reflections are absolutely going to kill me on top of my analysis of-” Mel throws you a scathing look, and you take it as your clue to stop spiraling about things you had to do.
“You have time to do those later. Jongho may need you now, so what do I say?”
“Focus first on what matters to me, and everything will fall into place. My finals do matter… but I have all week to study. I need to see Jongho tonight. Thank you Mel.” She smiled, raising a hand perpendicular to your face.
“No need to thank me love, 'cause you’re paying for my coffee! Mwah!”
“I take everything back. Seonghwa likes girls who pay for their own coffee, he told me himself for real.”
“Nice try, I may be drunk in love, but I’m not stupid in love,” giggling, you two went up to the register to pay. You’re day felt a bit brighter now that you had a plan, and a beloved (albeit mischievous) friend to share it with.
. . .
‘Jongho, we need to talk. Now, actually.’
tdybear
‘Thought u had to study. With Hyunjin.’
‘Cancelled. I wanted to talk with you.’
tdybear
‘I’m studyin rn. Can we talk later?’
‘U can keep playing the avoidance game Jongho,
but we’ll both end up losing. I’m not trying again,
and I’m not finna reschedule nun.’
tdybear
‘Where r u?’
‘apartment.’
read 20:43
You threw your phone down on the bed with a sigh of frustration. One thing you’d come to learn throughout the years was just how stubborn Jongho could get. In truth, you couldn’t help but be a little frustrated with the fact that this was all over a fucking study buddy. Hyunjin and you had been acquaintances since your freshman year, yet now is when the issue starts? It was all so confusing. Still, there was that part of you that relished in the fact that Jongho was coming, because he didn’t want to lose you. If your heart was a glass, what had been a quarter full for the last two weeks is overflowing. You wanted to see his face.
You keep pacing around the room, swimming in a pool of your disturbances. You are so frustrated, the lump in your throat being a telltale sign of incoming tears. Your heart is beating impossibly fast, and when you hear the doorbell ring out from the living room, it is like seeing the sun rise over the horizon after a lifetime of living in the dark.
When you open the door, all you can see is him. All you can feel is him, and as angry as you want to be; you greet him with a warm smile and a hug that lasts all too long, and he does the same. Just for a moment, everything is normal.
. . .
For all of the affection you had given each other at the door, the tension that filled your living room after was miasmic. You both sat awkwardly on the loveseat, periodically shifting around.
‘I can’t take this anymore. I'M GOING INSANE HERE!’
“So, did you want to talk to me about something? Did something happen?” You could have burst a blood vessel right there.
“Did something happen? Jongho, pray tell. When was the last time you saw me?”
“About… two weeks ago…” The silence that followed was deadly, and all you could do was cross your legs and look at him. Shifting on the couch, he fiddled with his fingers before clearing his throat awkwardly.
“Look… I’ve been… busy. You know how demanding my major is.”
“I’m an artist, and I always have time for you. Art and music are quite close in workload and nature, are they not?”
“You’ve been busy too, with Hyunjin. I didn’t want to interrupt you two.”
“I invited you over when Hyunjin wasn’t even here.”
“He’s been here? I thought you only worked in the studio.”
“He may be my study buddy, but he is also my friend. A friend which I was desperately in need of for the past two weeks.” He huffed at that, his cheeks and ears slowly warming, until even his nose was pink. He was frustrated. You were losing your patience, and he could tell by the glare cutting into the side of his head.
“Look, if you don’t want to talk to me, for whatever reason, tell me. I’m tired of going back and forth with myself about what I did or how you feel. I have my own life, and whether or not you want to be a part of it is your choice,” you said simply getting up from the couch to open the door. Though part of you was sure he would stay, the other part was petrified that he would get up and leave. If that door closes and he isn’t in the room, you think that your heart will stop beating. Or the world will stop turning.
“Wait… do you promise not to think I’m an idiot?”
“No,” you fight a smile as you sat back down beside him, a supernova of hope going off in your heart. He smiles, and you see colors for the first time in two weeks. His laugh invades your senses, and you smell the cologne he always puts on after he showers; for a moment, you are home. Then the room went silent, and all you could do was hold out your pinky.
“I promise.” He sighs when his pinky loops into yours, holding onto it, and putting your hand in his lap. You pray he can’t hear the way your breath hitches, and he hopes you can’t feel how fast his heart is beating.
“Did you miss me at all? When you were with him?”
“I miss you every second my hand isn’t in yours.”
“I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?” His fingers intertwine with yours as he caresses the back of your palm.
“I saw how happy you looked beside him, how similar you guys are. How much he can really help you. I mean, he’s an artist. For the first time in my life, I was scared that you would leave me. I know, we’re just college friends, we may be bound to lose contact in the future. But the thought… I just can’t take it. So, I left first. I wanted to prove that I could live without you.” He is gripping your hand now, his head hung low. His breath hitches loudly, and for the first time in years, you see him cry. Your voice coos out, as your free arm wraps around him.
“Fuck…” You sniffle as the lump in your throat reaches a fever pitch, “well… can you?”
“...No.” When he says that, something in you shatters and rebuilds itself, so many emotions flood you at once, and it wrenches a sob out of you.
“Don’t cry…”
“You’re one to talk…” and suddenly the sobs are mixed with laughter. The world is so much brighter when he is around.
“I’m sorry. I’m too jealous and too headstrong. If you were to be in love with him, I would still want to be in your life. Even if it means I won’t be able to talk to you as much. I swear that if the world ended, I would only need you to survive.”
“In love with him?” you giggled, tears still escaping your eyes, “Why would I be in love with Hyunjin?”
“I don’t know… your similarities. How soft he is around you. He makes affection with you look so easy.”
“That’s just what he is like Jongho. Even if Hyunjin were to have feelings for me, which I guarantee he doesn’t, I still would have to reject him. No one could ever compare to the way you make me feel. The way you make me hurt.” Three words burn in your throat, as you eyed Jongho’s reaction. You want nothing more than to feel his lips on yours. You burn for him.
“You don’t like him?”
“He’s nothing more than a friend to me.”
“What am I to you?” You smiled nervously as silence settled in the air.
“You first,” shifting softly in your arms, he looks at you with confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“I want to hear you say it Jongho. After all, I didn’t avoid you. Write me a song. Tell me how you feel.” You smiled mischievously, leaning into him. Suddenly, his hand is untangling from yours, opting to gently massage the crest of your hip.
“You’re such a bully.” He is inches from you now, you can feel his breath. Was time always this slow? You’re getting too impatient.
“Tell me, Choi Jongho, what am I to you?”
“...You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to make lyrics that only you understand. I want to sing songs that only you can hear. I want to be yours, in every sense. All I want in return is your love, your time, and your patience. Without you, I’m a fish out of water. I need you like the current needs the moon. I want to dress you in the rings of Saturn, I want to form your name from the remnants of stars. The divine was inspired by you. All I’ve ever wanted was you. I’ve needed a lot of things, but none of those things matter without you.” He was pulling you closer now, his hand sliding to your waist, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes. Brown had always been your favorite color, it was the color of everything warm. It was home. You had loved him long before you knew him.
“Every painting has been dedicated to you, Jongho. I need the yellows of your warmth, the reds of your anger, the blues of your sadness, the greens of your jealousy. Every color I’ve ever painted has been you, every color I could never imagine is you. You are the sun and the grass. The mystery of the forests and the deepest seas. Paint me with your love. All I want from you is you. Unadulterated, unfiltered, and untethered. I may not be as eloquent as you; my art comes in form of pictures, not words. I could paint you in colors I’ve never seen, but they are so familiar to me. You are so familiar to me. You are my home. Your love is better than any pigment, and I need you just like you need me. I need your lips on mine. I will be your willing canvas.”
Finally, your lips meet, and you feel the universe in his touch. He tastes like chocolate. You are burning in his grasp, yet you are the most comfortable you have ever been. When you pull away for air, he chases you, eyes low, irises painting the world brown. You place a finger to his lips with a laugh, and he sighs, hands cupping your hand, and kisses your finger. You feel red hot. His eyes open fully, taking in the sight of you.
“You are my stars, my asteroids, my planets. You’re my love belt.”
#ssolphite#choi jongho#jongho#ateez fic#ateez#ateez jongho#ateez fluff#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#jongho fluff
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Hey seduce me shawties i have an unsolicited rant cause this fandom is barely keeping a pulse and if you want content u gotta do it yourself😔
let's talk about....
the
harem
episode
I've seen some people talk about it! but honestly not as much as it deserves because respectfully, HUH?
Yeah it really was something. I was having a really weird night when I went through it and got super excited for some silly little escapism. But I just couldn't bring myself to like it. I don't want to knock absolutely anyone but after a year-long hiatus I was excited and it just felt...so unsatisfactory? I can see the vision, I always loved the harem ends for the other episodes. But those always felt like wholesome little snippets into the brothers dynamic that you never really got in any singular route. With how isolated the brothers felt from one another in the main games, it's really nice to see them interact. Whenever they do it's super interesting! ML did a good job fleshing out personal details during the Seducemeask era, but I've always been sad a lot of that didn't end up getting portrayed in the final games. But that never felt like it happened.
I think my main criticism comes down to the fact that they do nothing but try to appease the MC the entire episode. This was definitely an issue during certain parts of the games but the harem episode is the absolute worst example.
Because the boys are trying so hard to accommodate the MCs tastes, they end up falling flat as characters. They feel watered down because they aren't working in their own best interests a lot of the time. And because the MC is supposed to be an insert for the player... they don't have any character either. The whole thing just ends up being super frustrating because for there to be any conflict the MC has to just be super dense. I wish this sequence of events revealed any character from them but no. It just felt self pitying and a tad pathetic. This felt super out of character with the MC as we knew them. The MC in the main games?? Feisty as shit. Just crumpling immediately instead of facing the issue doesn't seem right.
Additionally, the emphasis on how ~unconventional~ polyamory is just made me uncomfortable. The MC invited 5 homeless demons into their home for goofies in the first game, am I really to believe they put that much stock in convention? I think I understand the intention behind those lines, but it's just so heavily insisted upon at every moment. If the MC had instead put an emphasis on the boys perspective on polyamory rather than societal expectation I would have felt way better. It could reveal how much they care for the boys and what is best for them. But instead it comes across as a bit selfish. "They wouldn't share me and that's all there is to it", makes me feel like they don't know the boys super well. And then when they're proven wrong we just skirt past that!!! Yes an unconventional situation leads to an unconventional response, but it could have been a great opportunity to show a healthy and informed conversation on both sides. Instead it just happened so quickly... what would that actual dynamic work like with each of the characters? WORK WITH ME
The build up to the confession and then the lack of true substance in the agreement just made the ending feel so abrupt. When the boys confessed I didn't feel anything. There needs to be some proverbial glue holding these relationships together, but I personally never saw it. Their love for each other was just supported by a trust me bro energy that I'm simply not buying. I just felt confused as to why the boys were going so far out of their way for this person who had the mental constitution of a ritz cracker.
and then
the ending
Have y'all ever tried to share a bed with 3 people? Yeah. Not great. 6 people to one bed?? I would be calling a chiropractor like 5 minutes in. And it was so sudden and so goofy I couldn't stop myself from laughing. AND THEN IT ENDED!!!! I didn't feel any sexual attraction to that whole display whatsoever but I think I was supposed to? I ended the whole experience feeling like I didn't have any idea what I had just witnessed. All i know is that THIS will live on in my nightmares for years to come.
Anyways I apologize for if this rant felt naggy. I love the Seduce Me characters and world-building, but no matter how hard I try I cannot get passed this episode which SUCKS because the others are incredible.
anyway - CASSIE OUT🏃♀️💨
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I FINALLY DEFEATED THE TITANS AND THE SHROUDS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO
Ah, angst...
...
... No, no I... I don't have the courage to even look at that particular scene... Sorry...
He's coping hard...
Actually... If you peeps don't mind, let me share you a bit of my story.
TW: If you know what's Idia's woes, then yknow what's this about
It's okay if you don't want to read, just skip and go your merry way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I relate to Idia a lot... In the guilt department...
Before pandemic, my grandfather (bless his soul) was admitted to hospital.
The doctors actually said he still have chance to recover, he was fully aware of his surroundings and his condition.
... Then that's where I come in.
It started as just dizzy spell, I don't feel comfortable with my surroundings...
Then suddenly, I feel heavy, my brain felt like someone put a cement in it, and it gets worst and worst that I literally bent over my grandma for support.
A supposed check up turns out to fully need to admit me. I caught myself a dengue, and I only admitted after days from it's first sign, and the negligence on our part make it worst. I think they said I almost go above the critical stage (I think that's bc of our negligence) by the time they admitted me.
On the day I got admitted, at that same time, he's breathing stopped.
Like I said, he was fully aware of what's going on... That means our financial problems too...
I really don't want to believe it... But feel a little part of me whispers to me it's my fault why he... Gave up, so the cost can focused on my recovery...
I am little to little telling myself now that it wasn't my fault, but that little demon always haunts me, especially on the day where he passed away.
I never tell my family about it, bc ai felt they'll gonna scoff or just thinking me being weird.
And this rant... Helps me to breath little now (even I really know ranting on Internet doesn't help) But, yeah...
ALRIGHT ENOUGH ANGST!
If you reach till this end, well, thanks for reading the whole thing of it. Don't worry, I am fine now, really.
Twisted Wonderland is truly an amazing game, and I don't regret ever playing it from the moment I discovered this.
It truly is inspirational in a perspective of unique way.
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst english#twst thoughts#twst spoilers#twst idia#twst ortho#idia shroud#ortho shroud#ignihyde
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Here's my truth: I'm a religious LGBT+ person in rl - so I gobble up the opportunity to project onto potentially religious LGBT+ characters in fandom spaces . . . But I have not feasted this much, THIS WELL as I have when it comes to Interview with the Vampire.
There are so many layers to this show and I haven't even finished it yet, but I'm just over here feasting on the religious symbolism and imagery and SAINT LOUIS and I know I already ranted about the final arc of the first episode and haven't even gone into like two other points from just the first episodeeee.
I am going feral and I needed to rant about it on my blog for just a moment because I am over here living my best fandom experience to date because it's there, I'm not trying to make a feast out of crumbs and subtle nods - because it's rampant, and I am so inspired and I can't wait to draw more and write so much soon and just AHHHHHH -
Some things I want to explore so soon, so badly, so deeply:
Lestat and that backstory he shared in epsiode one 👀
More meta from the final arc in episode one and symbolism from Louis' perspective
Catholic family culture from Louis' perspective
The differences (and connections) between a white 18th century French raised Catholic and a black 19th century Creole raised Catholic
The symbolism of vampirism and the whole blood ties with the Sacrament 👀👀👀
SAINT LOUIS
And likely so much more once I'm able to watch the last three episodes 💗 Are there any points that are sticking out to you that you'd love to rant about? Or see me rant about lol. Feel free to reblog and tag and I'd be happy to add more to the list ✨️
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