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#I just love the idea that Ed never saw the surface of Stede
leupagus · 2 years
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One other thing I really enjoy
about Ed and Stede’s relationship is that, when they finally meet — after all this buildup, after Ed’s own first mate gets beaten by the guy, after the Gentleman Pirate not only pissed off Spanish Jackie but destroyed her nose jar, after Ed gets the message that Captain Bonnet said he can suck eggs in hell — when Ed finally gets a look at this incredible rival pirate who’s already making a name for himself... Stede looks like absolute dogshit, passes out at his literal feet, and is about ten seconds from dying.
In fact he’s in such bad shape that Ed has to nurse him back to health (seriously, who cleaned and bandaged Stede’s wounds? Given Ed’s casual request for a cold compress, I’m fully willing to bet it was him). All that Ed knows about Stede is what he’s heard, including the whole sucking-eggs thing, and he still decides to fix Stede up like he’s one of those shitty houses on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Not only that but he sits there for... hours? Days? watching Stede mumble through his fever, sweaty and probably rank as hell, and by the time Stede wakes up, still looking like total ass, Ed is pretty much ready to learn how to write just so he can doodle “Mrs. Ed Bonnet” in his diary, once he steals a diary.
Rewatching episode four, I kept getting caught up in just how incredibly terrible Stede looks throughout — he’s sweaty, his face is an alarming shade of yellowish-chalk, he’s got a terrifying contusion on his neck, and he’s still actively bleeding (he probably bled on Ed’s clothes while they were doing their little costume swappity-do). But it’s never really addressed; Stede never has a moment of “oh my god Senpai noticed me and I look like a manic corpse,” even though he absolutely should have.
There’s a lot of great fic and meta talking about how Stede might look different when he finally gets back to Ed, how Ed might react to Stede’s new sailor-type outfits and lack of hair-coiffing. But I truly don’t think Ed’s going to even notice, because he’s just that embarrassingly far gone.
All of which is to say that what I really want is some sort of reunion where Stede is wearing a disguise of some kind, for whatever reason, and it fools everyone — Izzy, Spanish Jackie, various crew members, Mary if she’s there — but Ed recognizes him instantly and is like “oh fuck it’s the love of my life, that dickhead.”
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danepopfrippery · 1 year
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I cant get over a reply to my take that Stede’s sweetness to Ed isnt patronizing, its meant to be besties sharing soft things with each other. The person said Stede treated Ed and his crew as an asshole colonizer specifically teaching Ed fine dining. Like brah if thats your take block me now cuz I cant even.
I can disagree w ppl on silly shit (steddyhands say) but when you weaponize a whole major set of plot points as whypipo when thats clearly not what it is, just go back to twitter. I think almost every script had at least one poc contributing to it. They never seem to know that. (And yes holy fuck would a colonizer be common irl and irl stede bonnet was an asshole and slave owner no argument).
As for the fine dining lessons: Ed ASKED for uppercrust lessons! Ed, mr ‘skin him with the snail fork’ sat there and genuinely wanted to learn. Ppl who think about skinning w snail forks dont generally stand for patronizing shit.
In fact Ed wanted to go to the French party cuz fine things and it was a chance to work on what Stede had taught him (and remember it wasnt one sided, Ed was teaching him shit too) and Stede didnt want to go!!! But he went! Cuz Ed wanted to! And when they insulted Ed be burned them to the ground.
As for the crew on face value id agree he was patronizing. But thats as lazy as the yummy soap take. It has been said by Rhys and others Stede saw this as a chance to play w friends he basically paid to spend time w him. They were all free to go.
And what stands out to me is several times we are shown Stede thinks of them as equals. When Lucius says only the two of them can read hes shocked by that. Never dawned on him most of them would be illiterate. Yes hes dumb (illiteracy was extremely common back then) but that says to me he never thought of these ppl are lower class than me.
He pays them, he feeds them, he added a bunch of rooms just to spoil them (u cant tell me the jam room was for his kids when the harpsichord is in his cabin). He plans little activities to keep them happy and doesnt MAKE them do anything (or punish them if they dont). He tried to talk Black Pete into sewing but never forced him. Instead of picking a fav flag he hung all of them cuz he cares about them (who else would do that cmon?!)
They only decide not to kill him cuz he can do the voices in the stories right. They love bedtime stories! Again its not forced or punished if not. Same for pickleball etc.
But the biggest one to me is what ppl grab onto just on the surface. We know racism, slavery and homophobia do all exist in this universe and we whiff it right away in ep 1. Yes the poc staff is relegated to playing servants but we werent shown who decided that (id bet frenchie cuz he knows rich assholes and u dont want to piss off the british navy).
Stede only went for that ship to make his crew like him, and only brought Badminton and co onboard to save everyone from the british navy. He immediately takes everyone into his room and dishes out outfits and fake names/backstories. This includes everyone poc and white.
How the fuck do u reckon that man had an outfit that fit not only Oluwande but Wee John?! Perfectly might i add. Its never shown what happens after only Olu still being in costume after they send the lone survivor back. Im making a leap ill agree but me thinks he had that shit custom made for his crew esp cuz a few of them had complimentary pieces. And there is no good reason that man would have something for someone as tall and large as Wee John.
The Brits dont start being shitty tip after Stede and the captain leave. At which point Jim, Black Pete and several others attack. They have no time for that shit and Stede never argues about it later. In fact he had a plan to send the beheaded bodies and lone survivor back.
And then theres the fact later Stede has a matching set of tailored suits for him, Lucius and his fuckin prisoner!!! I mean it was his idea to do that, and he had the clothes. When he meets Ed properly he doesnt even hesitate to show him his pretty clothes or share them. They stay in each others clothes all night.
In fact i looked this up and ur average wealthy man had 4 sets of clothes in this time period. Stede is obviously obsessed w clothing. Your average person was lucky to have two sets if even. Those outfits had to cost an insane amount of money even for a wealthy man.
If u were truly a classist, colonist asshole u wouldnt be doling out thousand dollar outfits like candy.
I could go on but i think what makes fake Stede endearing as a character is he is genuinely happy to make friends. And he never seems to view them lesser whether it be race or class. I just cant agree.
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Lavender Shampoo
The contents of Stede Bonnet's closet seemed endless. There was a costume for each occasion. Ed let his calloused hand feel each and every fabric he saw, barely listening as Stede droned on and on about the expectations for the party.
"...and, of course, we'll need to get you washed up. No offense, but they would be able to pick you out by your stench alone right now," Stede said. At that, Ed gave him a sharp look, though he had to admit he admired Stede's lack of a filter.
"We're pretty far out from any place to anchor, where am I supposed to bathe?" He didn't particularly enjoy the idea of trying to bathe in the sea and then struggle to catch up with the unanchored boat.
Stede looked at him, confused. "Why should that matter? I have a tub that's perfectly functional without the ship being anchored. How odd that yours requires anchorage."
This man has the craziest shit on this ship. I love it here, Ed thought. Truly, did this man's material collection know no bounds? 
Once filled with warm water, Ed relaxed into the tub. Stede was busy searching in his auxiliary closet for appropriate outfits for the both of them, so Ed allowed himself to sink into the water until only his face peeked out. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper warm bath.
The window beside the tub let in a pleasant stream of warm sunlight that hugged his body, Stede had added some kind of scented oil to water that invaded his nose, the water soothed his overworked muscles and attempted to lull him to sleep. Together, these forces worked to overwhelm Ed's senses in the best way possible.
Somewhere in the room, Stede was speaking. With his ears under the water, he couldn't make out a single word, but the sound of voice alone caused some kind of tender warmth to bloom in Ed's chest. Eventually, though, he pulled his head out of the water enough to ask Stede to repeat himself. He opened his eyes, expecting to see the eccentric man still rooting around in his closet. He could help but jump in his skin when Stede was crouching right next to him, making eye contact.
"I was just asking if you prefered Lavender or Citrus," Stede said, holding up two small bottles.
"Oh, err– Lavender, I guess? What's–"
Stede poured a quarter sized amount into his palm and then began to lather it into Ed's hair. He had to clamp his mouth shut to avoid any uncouth noises, and beneath the surface of the water, his hand was gripping his knee with the strength of a desperate man.
"So much sand…I have to say, I'm surprised you don't have just one huge mat instead of hair." Stede was far too meticulous with the shampooing process.
"I do take care of it," Ed muttered. "But what kind of pirate captain has time for lavender shampoo and braid trains?"
"Oh, a braid train! That is such a wonderful idea, Eddie!"
Eddie.
He hadn't felt this way in years. Maybe never, maybe this was an entirely new experience. Auxiliary closet, copper bathtub on a pirate ship, lavender shampoo, a fucking pet name. There was some sort of nostalgia to it, a sense of belonging that he knew he shouldn't have felt because never in his life was he fortunate enough for these sorts of luxuries.
And still, the name echoed endlessly in his head. Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He liked it. Alot. Too much, maybe. The Dread Pirate Blackbeard should never find solace in such a sappy thing. And yet…
Instructions from Stede broke his moment of contemplation: "Close your eyes, I don't want to get soap in them. Stings like a bugger."
Ed listened, pushing aside any feelings of anxiety he harbored. He trusted Stede not to pull a knife in this moment of vulnerability, despite having absolutely 0 reason to. By all means, Stede could be putting on the most elaborate Fuckery this whole time by pretending to be an absolutely incompetent pirate, but Ed could hardly care at this point. Perhaps he is just so desperate to have some kind of change in his life, but the time he has spent on The Revenge has been the most fun he's had in a long, long time. It's nice. Refreshing.
Warm water ran over his head, shoulder, and face. He had forgotten how relaxingly smooth freshwater is in comparison to salt water.
Stede rinsed his hair maybe five times before he was satisfied. Between rinses, Stede gently raked his fingers through the beard, scoping out the remaining suds. In those few moments, Ed would close his eyes and bask in the comfort he should not have felt. Stede's soft, caring touch was enough to overwhelm him each and every time, and yet as soon as it was gone, he longed for more. But that was normal, and to be expected, for he was waiting for this odd, odd man to do his job. Nothing else, just a task that needed to be done, no intimacy attached. He simply had to look put together if he were to properly infiltrate this rich-people party. It only made sense. There was no other reason for him to crave the special attention Stede paid to his forlorn and brittle locks. No, no other reason at all.
He then asked that Ed turn his head so that he could wash his beard. Ed complied, though he avoided eye contact at all cost. Mainly, his gaze fixated on the intricate labels on the bottles lining the window sill. The countless scents comforted him as he tried to determine which he might like best next time. Perhaps the coconut. Maybe the rose. The vanilla bean was tempting. And yet, out of all of them, he still resonated most with lavender. After all, that's what Stede always smelled of, and was he not learning to be an aristocrat in the same mold as Stede? It only made sense. There was no other reason that he desired to be surrounded by that scent, to bring it with him wherever he went. No, no other reason at all.
After his beard was rinsed to Stede's satisfaction, Ed was given a sponge and some privacy. He ignored the lingering feeling of disappointment as he scrubbed his arms, legs, feet, back, and shoulders. Surely it would have been more efficient for Stede to wash his broad back for him. It only made sense. There was no other reason for his longing for Stede's gentle hands to take care of him in such a humbling way. No, no other reason at all.
With the tub finally drained and Ed's newly cleaned body wrapped in a soft but far-too-small robe, he sat shivering on the sofa as his wet hair dripped onto any skin left exposed. When Stede knocked on the door requesting entrance, Ed accepted him back into the room too quickly. Stede carried a small towel into the room and handed it to Ed.
"I've already dried myself off with this robe, but thank you," he assured him, declining the offer.
"But what about your hair? You must be freezing now. Here, let me…" Carefully, Stede cupped the dripping curls inside the towel and scrunched the water from them. He then set the towel on top of Ed's head and patted it dry. 
This moment of closeness, such a small detail in the grand scheme of things, burned in Ed's heart. No number of ransacked ships or drunken bar fights or unrestrained barbarity could ever fulfill his life in the way that a posh "pirate" spending 3 quiet minutes drying his hair did. He felt young again, stupid and bashful and willing to do anything to stay in this split second of bliss, to keep smelling like lavender, to keep letting a near-stranger dry his hair, to keep pining for Stede's gentle touch.
He thought of stating this outloud, then bit his tongue and thanked Stede tersely. Perhaps it was time to work on his impulsivity. He was Ed, after all. Not Blackbeard. 
The crinkle of Stede's eyes as he smiled was not unlike the sunshine that threw Icarus out to sea.
"Of course, Eddie. Now, I've informed the crew about the braid train and they are all very excitedly waiting for you to join them," he said. His hand, a beacon of love and stability, extended for Ed to take. That he did, and in the few moments in which he was led toward crew, Ed decided that he wanted nothing more than to hold the hand of Stede Bonnet for an eternity and more.
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