We haven’t touched on Cowboy!Ghost’s, well, ghosts before, and I literally couldn’t get this out of my head last night. I’m going to treat this like actual fic, I feel so fancy...
Warnings:
Hurt/Comfort, Graphic depictions of animal death, PTSD, Ghost going through it
Pairing:
Ghost x OC (Goose) [can be read as x reader]
Summary:
Early days of Ghost and Goose’s relationship. Ghost has always prided himself on his ability to handle any situation, no matter how bleak. So why does he find himself so ill equipped to handle something as small as a couple chickens death?
A coyote got into the henhouse last night.
You can hear its yips and snarls, the aggressive barks of your cattle dog as it darts at the chicken wire, the starling lack of clucking. You whistle for the dog, and it races to go check on the other animals. The last thing you need is for the coyote to get into it with Mav when you pull its sorry ass from the chicken pen. You yawn, trying to hold onto the hope that at least some of your ladies got somewhere safe before the carnage started. You’ll stop by the tractor supply later and grab some chicks to bolster your flock again.
You stop. Watching Ghost stand frozen in front of the pen, shoulders tight, barely breathing. His eyes a million miles away.
The pen is littered with half shredded chickens. Feather and muscle strewn about. The wild frenzy of a half starved predator laid out in front of you. The loose organs and scent of death turns your stomach, you can’t imagine what it does to a fresh soldier. Ghost’s finger twitches, beating a rapid tattoo against his thigh, his gun is still neatly holstered. You suppose that’s for the best, or maybe a signal of the worst.
You think about your first fourth of July after your Daddy’s second tour. The way he’d disappeared into the house like a ghost. The way your momma handed you off to your granny and followed after him. How your granny had told you: sometimes you see something so bad it never leaves you.
"Go wait in the house," you tell him as soft as you can, pulling at his arm to try and pull his attention. Ghost nods mutely, eyes still glued to the blood soaked earth and torn limp bodies. "Go on," you press a little more firmly, you lead him away from the henhouse, out of sight of it, "I'll be in shortly."
Ghost follows your direction, ears ringing, head stuffed with cotton. Everything feels far away and yet so brightly present. He can smell gunpowder and burnt flesh, can feel the wet warmth of blood on his clothes where he knows there isn't any. Can hear the shouting. He pushes the front door to the house open and holds the brass handle tight in his fingers for a long moment, just standing, waiting. As if he'll hear the pang of gunfire over the infinitely patient silence.
He goes to the kitchen and puts the kettle on. Stares at the black iron as it sits on the burner and waits for the yip of the coyote, the last gunshot. It doesn’t come. You take his hand in the silence and turn the burner off. Lead him to the table and sit him heavily in one of the wooden chairs. Ghost keeps his eyes forward, his shoulders rigid. He waits. He doesn't know what he's waiting for. For the memories to stop.
His hat is removed, set carefully on the table. A warm cloth touches his face, wiping gently at the crease in his forehead, at the stern set of his brow. Your fingers reach for the edge of his mask and he grabs your wrist, eyes finally darting to yours in a panic. He can't. It's too much, too hard. He can't.
Somehow you seem to understand, fingers sliding instead to cup his jaw, to rub your thumb against his cheek over the soft cotton. The washcloth wipes his brow again, still warm and soothing.
"You're safe," you murmur, "Safe and sound right here with me. And Daddy.” You tack Price on, as if you might not be enough to convince him. As if it isn’t your touch that’s bringing him back, your eyes that hold his with such kind patience it makes his heart hurt. “We won't let anything hurt you."
Ghost doesn’t say anything, can’t make his lips move or conjure a thought as to what he might say. If there is anything to say. Is there anything to say?
You tip his head forward, press the lightly damp cloth against the back of his neck. He lets his hand drop from your wrist as you move your hand from his cheek to scratch your fingers through his hair. Gentle, calming touches. Never asking more from him than his comfort.
He settles his hands on your hips, and for a moment he can pretend you’re his.
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steve’s pov here :)
prey.
lots of prey.
that’s what eddie knew.
he watched them enter his land through that… thing. that hole in the ground that let off a high pitched sound and kept him in line. it scared him and his brethren. none of them could go near it. it hurts if you do. they’ve all learnt the hard way, whilst trying to escape. it burns your body to touch and turns your brain dizzy.
but the prey passed through it without an issue.
eddie watched from the top of the tree he was perched in, crowded around by his resting family, his cousins and friends. he watched the prey make their way through his world, listened as his master told him to kill.
eddie attacked when they least expected it.
he swooped down and swiped at one of their necks with his claw. he would have gotten it, if that one with curly hair didn’t scream his name.
it sent eddie flying back- he recognised it, the voice. the face.
it wasn’t prey.
it was a friend.
eddie flew away. too scared of what would happen if he stayed.
he couldn’t stay.
his master was mad. beyond mad at him.
he threatened to kill eddie if he didn’t complete his task. he’d send his brethren on the prey and himself.
eddie didn’t want that. he wanted the prey to live, he thought. well… the curly haired one. he didn’t know about the rest. but if not for that curly haired one, eddie might let master carry out that promise. he didn’t like this world. it was cold and dark and he felt dirty and he only remembered pain.
he flew back to his home, to his nest in a place he felt most safe. a safe place that was still standing. his old home, the one with who he thinks is his father from the other world, now destroyed to the hole that was too big and too loud and hurt too much if he flew near it.
his home in the drama room at school. he’d dragged mattresses and pillows and blankets back into the changing room and built himself a nest, collected all his favourite things.
he had a pile for his father, flannelette shirts all piled up on a bunch of random mugs. he had his sweetheart there too. he’d been collecting dice from everywhere he could find them, all different shapes and colours, they were scattered around his nest, and he played with them when he got bored and couldn’t sleep. he had a picture frame shoved there somewhere with a photo of his mother, a flower pressed under the glass that was her namesake. it was the only name eddie could remember; petunia. and he had the mangled old teddy bear she gave him as a baby that he curled up with every night.
but he had his most favourite pile there too, at the place where he lay his head every night. in the pile was a green and white jacket with a name eddie couldn’t read written across the back. there were shirts and two jumpers, a red and a yellow one. he had three odd socks and one pair, and some underwear, and a singular sneaker. he’d taken them all from a large house on the nice looking side of this world, from a room he didn’t like very much, but he remembered the boy that owned all those things was very special to him.
he couldn’t remember his name or his face though, and eddie cried about it every night.
he pottered around his nest, moving his things about and settling down in it. he hurried out and to the other side of his home where he had a pile of things he’d collected that took up too much space in the nest. he sifted through them; some more mugs, a weird al shirt, a pair of drumsticks, some comics, a bunch of action figures, a green ribbon, an old year book, some novels, an acoustic guitar, car keys, a cheer skirt, journals, a lunchbox- all things that made his heart clench to look at, to touch, but he couldn’t remember why.
except for the yearbook.
when he found the yearbook he got so excited he’d stretched out his wings and started flying in the tiny little room. he knocked over a rack of costumes with them, fucked up his nest, and put a hole through the wall. he didn’t care though.
he had the year book almost permanently open to one page. a page he remembered looking at a lot when he was younger. on the page was him, the man that eddie couldn’t remember the name or face of. the one he loved so much. and beside him was another man with eddie’s old face! he’d made it. he remembered making it. he wrote something, but eddie couldn’t read that either.
after finding that year book, eddie looked at the page every day and every night, whenever he could. he often went to sleep with the page open, he’d sometimes just sit there and look at it. he’d draw his claw lightly over the man’s pretty face and sometimes he’d lick it when he particularly missed him.
oh eddie loved him so much.
so that’s what eddie did now. he sat down in his nest and drew over his pretty face and he stretched out his long tongue until it touched the page and then he smiled.
he smiled so much his heart squeezed.
he missed his boy.
but his master was not happy with him. he made eddie go back out to kill them.
eddie promised himself he wouldn’t kill the curly haired one.
he flew out until he found them, and then he swooped down over their heads to give the prey a scare and perched himself atop an electricity pole. he crouched there with his wings hanging heavy down behind him and looked at his next meal.
only, he didn’t attack. not straight away.
there was something familiar about one of them. the one holding a bat over his shoulder, scowling at eddie. he had floppy hair and strong shoulders. eddie thought he’d put up the biggest fight.
but there was something about him.
eddie cocked his head and looked at him some more. looking looking looking. trying to figure him out. he ignored everyone else. the man adjusted his grip on his weapon, ready to swing it at eddie if needed.
eddie moved his head forward because… no…
no it- it couldn’t be.
it was him.
the boy in the picture.
the one he loved!
he straightened his back out in a flesh, sitting up tall, perched on the pole, and he let out a screech of excitement. he hoped the man was just as excited as he was.
his love leered forward slightly, looking ready to fight… to protect. oh, he looked so strong and brave like that, ready to defend his own brethren. eddie admired him so much. he was so beautiful. so strong. so handsome.
eddie stretched his wings out and stood, he let out another thrilled sound because- oh, because he was here! the one he loved was here… in his world! and eddie could have him.
eddie clutched at his heart like he’d just been struck by cupids arrow and fell backwards off the pole, like he was fainting. he was swooning afterall. he hoped to impress this man too.
eddie had to impress him.
so he free fell and right before he hit the ground he stretched his wings out further and lifted himself high into the sky. way higher than he needed to go. he looked down at the one he loved and- oh goodness, he just couldn’t help himself. he tucked his wings around his body and nosedived straight for him.
it’s what he’d seen his family do, when they found their love. one would fly high in the sky and barrel roll into the other, catch them, and take flight again.
it was their mating ritual, so it’s what eddie would do.
he crashed into the pretty golden haired love and had to take a moment to just look at him as he wiggled around on the ground beneath eddie. eddie tired to pin him down, to show him he was safe… it was just eddie. he tried to communicate, clicking his tongue to say “hello, it’s me, i love you” but he didn’t seem to get it.
that was okay.
eddie would show him.
but before he had a chance his wing was struck with an immense amount of pain.
he stretched it out to look, and found a hole clean through it, and he lowered it just enough to see one of his prey, standing there, a gun aimed right at him.
you hurt me, eddie thought, you tore me.
he was going to make her death the most painful. save her for last.
he looked back at his love and grabbed him tight and lifted up info the air. it made him scream, and eddie thought it was a nice sound. similar to his own happy call. eddie really liked this man.
he took him to his home, sweeping through the crack in the roof, down into his little home, and he lay him down in his nest. his love is the only other being allowed anywhere near his home.
the last being to try - his brother and friend - was ripped to shreds by eddie’s own teeth. no one breached these walls again.
eddie laid him down and crawled back to sit by his loves legs, crouched there and waiting. he looked at him curiously. he looked quite different than the picture. he had lighter, floppier hair, and some scruffy fur around his mouth, and he had this thing on his face that made his eyes look a little bigger than usual, and… clothes. in the picture he only had little swim shorts on. eddie hoped his love might take these clothes off soon.
oh eddie thought he was just neat.
the perfect new item to make home of his nest. he’d keep him here forever, that was for sure.
he was eddie’s now.
he looked a little confused, but that was okay. eddie would help him understand anything he needed. all eddie wanted to do was look after his love.
oh. the picture. that would help him understand. that’s how eddie could tell him he loved him.
great idea!
he crawled over to get it, leaving his love in the nest for a little moment. he sifted through some of his other things before retrieving it. he grabbed the book with his teeth, and crawled back over to pretty man, and perched himself as close as possible. he dropped the book between his own feet and pressed his hands on top of it to keep it safe, and waited.
when he turned back around to look at eddie, he freaked out a little. eddie thought it was very sweet. eddie wanted to see every face this man could make, they were all so beautiful. he cocked his head to the side and looked at him some more, trying to figure him out.
to ask if this was okay.
his love held up the jacket with the name eddie couldn’t read. he looked at the jacket, then back at his love, then back at the jacket, then back at his love and he felt warmth bubble up in his chest. he purred, hoping to let his love know what this meant. hoping to let him know he was happy that he was here. that he wanted his love to wear the jacket.
eddie noticed how his love was wearing one thing that meant a lot to eddie himself. a vest. one covered in patches and pins that he used to wear every day. eddie lowered his head to bump his loves shoulder and blinked at him once.
“it’s yours.” his love said, and it made eddie’s heart flutter so much! he loved the sound of his voice. it was so soft and smooth and eddie wished he could talk the same. his love tugged at the sleeve of the vest, “i know, i’m sorry. i hope you don’t mind. it helped ground me on the bad days.”
don’t mind? don’t mind!?
why would eddie mind about that? this was the best day of his life. not only was his love here, but he was here and collecting eddie’s things too.
eddie cocked his head, trying to communicate that of course he was okay with it. that he was okay with anything his love wanted.
“can you understand me?” he asked.
eddie nodded.
“can you talk like me?” he asked again.
eddie really wished he could. he wanted nothing more than to say that he loved him. he wanted to ask his name.
“i’ll take that as a no.” he hummed, and it made eddie’s chest vibrate, “you have a lot of my things.”
eddie wanted to collect more of them.
he dropped the book on his loves lap and watched curiously as he opened it. eddie’s heart was about to leap out of his chest when the man found the page eddie wanted him to see.
his pretty pretty love drew his finger over the page and read out the words eddie had written there many years ago… the words eddie had longed to be able to read or remember, and now he’d know, “by the time you graduate, this will be real, and he will be nice and want you back.”
oh… right.
yes. eddie loved him. he knew now. didn’t he. his love knew and- oh, he was laughing.
eddie didn’t like that. why was he laughing? did he not love eddie too.
eddie screeched at him and pouted because… because why would he laugh? that’s mean. it hurts eddie. it hurts eddie a lot. he would just like to love his love.
oh eddie loved him so much.
he watched with sad eyes as his love realised how much it was hurting eddie, and then he said, “you technically still haven’t graduated, you know?”
oh goodie. his love wanted him too!
he loved him so much he just- oh, he just couldn’t hold back any more. he flicked his tongue out and licked up his loves cheek and it was so much better than licking the picture. this time, when his love laughed, eddie liked it.
this was a good laugh.
“licking? really?”
eddie smiled at him and nodded his head because, yes. of course! he had to show his love and that’s how he did that. that’s what he knew. he hoped his love would lick him back… but maybe that’s not how those creatures showed their love.
that’s okay. eddie would learn eventually.
eddie helped shuffle his love back to cuddle because he didn’t care how mad his master got right now, eddie had his love and he’d finally be able to sleep well. he was sure this would be the first sleep he got without crying since waking up down here, in this world.
he curled up with his teddy and wrapped his wings around his love, curling into his lap and chest. eddie pressed his ear up over his heart to listen to the steady drum beat of it inside. it was one of the best sounds in every world. eddie started to purr again, feeling warm and dizzy against his love. he smelt amazing, and eddie nuzzled his face under the vest to get closer to him.
eddie felt his love pet his head softly and hold him a little tighter. eddie didn’t think he could love something any more than he loved this being right here. he was going to keep him forever. protect him and make sure he was safe, and well fed, and warm. he’d stay here, in eddie’s home, where no one else was allowed to go so eddie could keep him for himself. if he wanted anything, eddie would fetch it for him.
eddie would love him with every fibre in his body and more.
he’d do anything for his love.
he was sure of it.
if only he could remember his name.
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I suspect that this shot from the trailer is not a flashback, it’s them together either on deaths door or in death.
They are both in their current clothes, Fukuchi in the hunting dogs uniform, Fukuzawa not wearing his scarf. We know that Fukuzawa still wore the scarf at the time of the agency opening party (from Ranpo’s flashback), and we know Fukuchi wouldn’t be wearing the hunting dogs uniform until after the war. The uniform he wore when going to war is a diff color.
Plus, the scene invokes this very light and airy feeling and there are places that look like they’re fading into light (particularly the plant on the left, the leaves on the right of the tree, etc.) My sister pointed out there even seems like there’s a sort of glow around some outlines (particularly the posts) and some shadows are strange and very blue toned (the posts again and the crevices of their clothes).
Basically all of that to say it very much does not feel real. It doesn’t feel like a real memory, and it loses the high saturation shojo style the other flashbacks with them have.
I’m very hesitant to theorize about a character dying because this show never actually kills anyone, but it would be so interesting (and devastating to me) if they killed each other here. I desperately need an end to the excess of fake out deaths, at this point it’s cheap and destroys any real tension, and as much as I hate to say it, narratively, Fukuzawa would be a good choice to actually kill off here.
The classic mentor dies trope exists for a reason, often it is very necessary in order for other characters to move forward and experience development. This is especially true in this context for Ranpo and Kunikida, they would both have so much development from this and it’s AWFUL because they’re also both RIGHT THERE. But this is also true for the entire agency.
Also, something this situation has that is usually not true with the death baits, is that if they do it well, this could be a very good and satisfying conclusion to Fukuzawa’s (and Fukuchi’s) character arc. The idea of their fates being so intertwined that neither of them can triumph over the other, they have to give themselves up as well, is very appealing to me in the context of their relationship. It would be so fitting for them to die together at each others hands.
Another possibility is if that scene is them saying goodbye as only one of the dies, which could also be so interesting.
ANYWAY this is less of a real theory and more just thinking about possibilities. There are also several things that make me think they won’t both die like this: no one ever dies in the main storyline, we still don’t have a confirmation of Fukuchi’s additional objective, Yosano is unaccounted for (she and/or Ranpo could pop up and save the day), and the trailer is indicating to me that Fukuzawa can’t kill Fukuchi.
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