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rokutouxei · 4 years

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our shadows fall away like dust

part 6 of atelier heart

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark theo van gogh/mc | T | 3623 | [ao3 in bio]

spoiler warning: this references a scene in chapter 25.

other warnings: this fic has references to depression, some hurt/comfort, and an understandable existential crisis. essentialy, you and Theo have matching fragile emotional pieces, so you establish boundaries, pledge honesty, and do your best to make each other stronger.

A habit of playing hide-and-seek with no one, Theo calls it, whenever you ducked away from the rest of the mansion like a quietly sneaking mouse. He always catches you, of course, but knowing that he’ll find you despite any attempts you have of hiding does not ease the worry he has whenever you fall back into that.

No one in the mansion had seen you for hours, as you tiptoed past residents and crossed hallways unnoticed throughout the rest of the day. Jean said he saw you in the balcony earlier that day, looking out over the city, but then nothing after lunch. Vincent recalled seeing you help serve food at noon, but without a word to him and Dazai at the table, you had disappeared out the hall before he could reach out. Arthur last saw you even earlier, breakfast, noting that even then you had looked a little forlorn, quite downcast, while you were putting away some plates. Napoleon, on the other hand, saw you headed out the garden to get and fold a mountain of sheets, which he offered to help with, but you had turned him down.

You had not only gone missing; you’d also been completely out of character.

It doesn’t help that Leonardo had approached Theo once he’d gotten home to ask, “Something happen with cara mia?”

Theo left early this morning, on account for a series of several tasks at hand that had to be completed for an upcoming exhibit. It was one that had been building up for the past few months, and finally, you had gotten the go signal with a friendly client willing to rent you some space, and everything has been busy since. You were supposed to go with him—the artists have really become fond of you, and having you around always brightened their spirits—but you had begged off in the morning because you were not feeling well. You had sounded groggy, but also kind of sick. No fever, Theo noted, but he didn’t want to push you, in the off chance that it turned into something worse. He asked you to stay put for the day, and you’d smiled at him weakly and let him go.

But maybe he should have stayed a little longer.

Now, it’s dinnertime in the mansion. Dinners are usually your favorite, because it is then when Sebastian serves his well-known desserts, beloved to you (and, really, anyone who would have the chance to taste them.) But you were not at your usual place in the table, your dinnerware untouched. Theo came home humming, excited to have finished his tasks early—more time with you is the best time—only to feel his joy replaced with an unsettling dread upon hearing that they hadn’t heard from you in a bit. Sebastian swears he hadn’t seen you leave the mansion either, and Theo knew better, of course.

It didn’t make him feel any better.

He didn’t need to spend that long time looking. Hide-and-seek with you wasn’t a common occurrence—thankfully—but it happened often enough that he would not need much to figure out where you were. He peered out the window to check the garden (no sheets) and on his way to your room he checked in the laundry room (no sheets either) and then he knew exactly where you were.

He knocks three times on your door before opening it.

You made a promise to him once that you wouldn’t lock it, ever, no matter how off you felt, and at that moment Theo was so glad you had agreed to it. Even as he enters the room, you don’t raise your head from where you are curled up on the armchair. You don’t make any move to hide your state either: the fresh sheets crumpled in a giant ball thrown from the basket onto your bed, your messy hair, your cried-out eyes, the scratch marks along your arms made from bitten nails. Theo closes the door shut.

“Hondje.”

You make a gentle “mmmh” noise that Theo takes as approval to approach. He steps gingerly down the carpet, sitting on your bed, across you. He watches you closely for a long moment, without saying a word. You feel his stare against your skin, not burning, not angry, just warm and curious and asking. Finally, you turn your head to look at him. Your eyes are red.

Did something happen? Who hurt you? Let me help you. I love you. What did I do wrong? Who wronged you? Theo’s voice nearly shakes when he settles with “Talk to me.”

To that you only shrug. There’s not much to say, after all. Not yet. You curl tighter into a ball, your cheeks mushed against your crossed arms. You sniffle in an attempt to breathe and Theo’s heart clenches in his chest.

With every word weighed carefully, “Sorry,” is the first thing that stumbles out of his mouth—the only word of care and affection he can piece through the fog of worry that’s building in his mind.

Theo’s like that, always so sparing with his words, but they’re always so full of love. You’re thankful he’s here by your side. You force a small smile he can only see half of, but it stings him anyway. “Not your fault,” you say, and your voice is raspy and catches in your throat. “Just me. Like always.”

For a moment the two of you stay there, in shared silence, testing the air for what’s best to be done next. Theo knows he can coax the words out of you, but not now. Not yet. Now, you just need to have him pull you back to the ground. He stands up from his seat and presses a kiss against the crown of your head, gently urging you into his arms. When you collapse into his warmth, he takes the chance to lift you up princess-style into his arms. You press your face against his chest and sigh.

He turns to place you on your bed to make you more comfortable, but upon remembering it’s currently occupied, he decides to bring you back to his room instead. You place both your arms around his neck as he carries you up effortlessly. You don’t notice if anyone sees the both of you pass by. If someone were there, they make no comment or noise as you walk past them in the hallways. You focus on your breathing (four seconds in, seven seconds hold, eight seconds out) and the scent of Theo’s skin. The next thing you know, you hear his door opening with that familiar swing, the sound of it clicking close, then the creak of his bed under both your weights.

Finally, you let yourself open your eyes. The lights are out, the only brightness coming from the moonlight slipping through the window, silver on the bed sheets. Theo is loosening his tie and taking his jacket off, hanging them as he prepares to sit next to you on the bed. You pull a pillow to your chest (it smells like him, like comfort) and sigh into it just as he climbs next to you.

“How was today?” you say softly, asking in advance to deflect whatever question of concern you knew he would inevitably ask you. You’re not quite ready to answer yet. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go. I hope you passed my regards to the artists.”

“I did,” he says, as he pulls you up to his broad chest into a cuddle. You lean against him, thankful to have someone to lean all this useless deadweight on, someone who will not mind carrying you. “They were looking for you before they even said hello to me. ‘Where’s the princess? Why are you alone today?’ Seems like you’re going to be a better dealer than me after all.”

“Pffsh, no way.” What you want is to be there to help him—and to see him—make his dreams come true. You’re not there to compete. “I’m still leaps and bounds behind you. They were probably just teasing you, since you’re so fun to tease.”

“I’m not fun to tease,” he argues. A little tick of dissatisfaction; he wants to demand what made you think he is fun to tease, but when he feels you smile against him, he realizes maybe it doesn’t matter. He presses you closer to him.

Theo feels defeat when he realizes he’s become used to this happening, but he immediately reprimands himself. Him knowing how to take care of you when you need him most is not defeat, it’s victory.

The both of you relax in the shared silence, not pushing, not impatient. Maneuvering the highs and lows isn’t new to either of you; the basis of most of your trust is the acknowledgement that the other understands what it means to be at the bottom end of it, facing the brunt of a bad swing. It seems pitiful, it seems scary—two people vulnerable to the same fickle mind and heart, trying to patch each other up.

You don’t notice just how tense you still are until Theo begins to run his hands through your hair gently, easing out the knots, massaging your scalp as he goes. You make a soft noise of contentment—Theo always says it sounds like you’re purring, like a cat—and fall limp against him, surrendering.

The words climb up your throat, a rocket fighting with all its might against gravity to get out into orbit.

“I got scared.”

Theo’s hands pause in your hair for just a breath, but then continues. Its steady, consistent rhythm only eases you into a more relaxed state. “About?”

About? The word echoes in your head over, and over again, into the dark cavernous abyss. About what, really? Why the hesitation—why are you so unsure? There are too many things to count. One worry riding an avalanche, getting bigger and bigger until you can no longer lift your shoulders.

“Everything.”

And it’s not a lie, really. It started off like this: yesterday, the door to the future opened as it usually does, every month, without fail. Unlike a few months ago, that very day you decided to stay in the mansion, the unlocking of the door isn’t really much of an affair anymore, except perhaps when Comte announces he’ll be off for a while and maybe you can ask him to bring some things from the 21st century, if that’s where he’s headed. It was just an ordinary, crescent-moon night.

Except it didn’t feel like it.

Somehow, you’d gotten into the habit of staying away from the door on the night that it opens. You still do rounds around the mansion sometimes, when you’re not out at work with Theo, so you get the chance to peer into Comte’s room and catch a glimpse at the door’s hourglass. It’s not that you’re willing yourself away from temptation, and crossing the door, but somehow, it feels safer, in your head, to just be away from it on that night.

Except yesterday.

You were on the way back to Theo’s room, after having a relaxing dip in the thermae, when you crossed the hallway leading to the time-crossing door. You weren’t even going through the hallway, just past it, but in the corner of your eye you felt like you saw someone down the hall.

Someone, being you.

Looking down the hallway with the moonlit window at the far end of it, illuminating the door, you could only imagine what you looked like that night you arrived, when Theo first saw you. Terrified, confused, banging at the wooden door begging it to open. What would you look like to the you back then? Already used to the life in the 19th century, perfected the manners (well, most of it), dressed in appropriate clothes. Would you have been terrified of yourself?

And with that thought, you went into the hallway, lights already long dimmed. You had in your hands a little candlestick, illuminating the space around you by a warm, yellow glow. And standing with it in front of the door that had ultimately changed the course of your entire life, you felt… small. You hadn’t thought of home in months. This was home now—Paris, 19th century. You knew that. But muscle memory of a whole life you’d lived still remembers what it was before this. Before the Louvre. Before Theo.

Without thought, you reached your hand out onto the door.

And for just a little bit, it pushed open.

You held it there, for what felt like hours, head buzzing. You weren’t thinking of going back, no, you love what you have now here, what you’ve built, what you’ll see in the future—and maybe you’re a little terrified, of course, two world wars, a plague, maybe multiple—but you couldn’t pull your hand away from it. Something kept you stuck there. You could see the carpet going through under the door, could imagine the hallway, with the paintings, leading all the way out to the other side.

At that moment, you heard footsteps from the other hallway. And you let go of the door like it was hot. Just as it clicks back into place, locked for another full month, Leonardo peered into the hallway.

“Loitering so late at night, cara mia?”

You’d be embarrassed at Leonardo having seen you in your sleeping clothes if you weren’t so flustered about the door already. “Just a little nostalgic. I should go to bed.” You cross the hallway as quickly as you can, and, greeting him quickly with a soft goodnight, scutter off into Theo’s room like nothing happened.

But something definitely happened.

You just don’t have the words to explain it.

Never have.

It just spiraled. The way it usually does—uncontrollably, like a car without a steering wheel. One thought led to another. And the next thing you know, you’re lying in bed next to the person you love the most, lying to his face about feeling sick, clutching the heavy rock of pessimism nestled in your heart.

(But maybe this is also a form of feeling unwell.)

Theo pulls you a little closer to him; the touch returns you to the present, and you wonder how long you’d zoned out on him like that. At least you feel warm now, none of the overwhelming cold that had taken over you all day. It’s always warm when Theo around. Like the first rays of sun after a long night.

And Theo thinks the same. Which is why it’s so hard to see you like this. Stuck in the 19th century, a hundred years behind what you’ve already known, it felt like he’d put the sun in a cardboard box. He doesn’t know what happened yet. Only knows that something did. And whenever something does, every time you go play hide-and-seek with him, his mind goes back to the day at the wheatfields, where he’d asked you for everything you could ever give.

And everything he cannot give.

Like your parents, growing old, turning feeble, not knowing what’s left of their child.

Like your friends, perhaps still looking, perhaps still remembering you ever so often, wondering where you’d went.

Like the places in your memory. Like the things you would have wanted to come back to—items of sentiment, places of importance.

Like the things you’d begun to build. The things you’d spent most of your life dreaming towards, all left behind a shut door that opens, like a monster, teasing, making you doubt, ask you over and over again, what did you lose, what did you trade away, was it worth it? Will it ever be worth it?

And maybe—you hadn’t talked about it, but maybe—maybe you’d wanted to let it go to begin with, and maybe that’s what made it easy to just turn away. But maybe Theo had also promised you something much more than he could give. Maybe you’d thought it was much more than what it actually was, is, will be. There’s no finding out about these things until it’s too late.

Theo wonders if it’s too late.

But even if it is, what’s left now is you, and him, and art, and everything else, so instead, he holds on to you for dear life. He has never spoken to you about this, and he has never known how to. Instead, he asks, “Can I make it better?”

“You already do,” you say, turning around so you can rest your cheek against his chest, listen through his clothes to the reliable thump, thump, thump of his heart. “It’s just me.”

“It’s not you,” he argues. It’s never you. Never to him.

“It is,” you insist. “I didn’t even feel bad to begin with, I just… I don’t know what happened. Something came over me and… now I’m just worried about things I can’t change.”

Theo feels his heart in his throat. “Is it really something you can’t change?”

A beat. “I don’t want it to change,” you answer weakly, before closing your eyes and pressing even closer to him. “I like it here, Theo.”

Theo feels something in his heart break.

“I like you being here too,” he answers.

Then, again, silence. Silence with Theo isn’t scary, isn’t worrisome—the two of you understand each other through these shared silences. There are things Theo can’t put into words and—so do you. They get said in these shared, wordless breaths. Somehow. Sometimes.

But sometimes, the words come out anyway.

“I hope one day it will be enough.”

You blink, Theo’s voice low and heavy. “What?”

The two of you turn to each other and just look. Searching, trying to understand, the look on your faces, your eyes. Theo turns away first.

“No, Theo, it is enough,” you say. “You don’t have to blame yourself. I’m still adjusting, this is normal.”

You don’t see it, but disbelief fills his features. “A part of it is certainly my fault.”

“It isn’t, and even if it is, I’ve forgiven you for it.”

Theo cradles those words to his chest. Presses a kiss on the crown of your head. "Thank you."

"It's nothing."

"It's something," he insists. "When something like this happens, when things get this way, I wish you would tell me instead.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. You sound tired. Your entire body feels heavy. “I would have, I just… I don’t want to worry you.”

“You know I don’t mind when you worry me, right?”

“I know, but sometimes you push yourself too much.”

“You know I'm willing to walk to hell and back for you,” Theo admits.

“And that’s the point,” you say as you push him away gently, a hand on his chest, forcing him to make eye contact with you. “You can’t keep sheathing an open blade with your hands your whole life. You shouldn’t,” you say. “It’s not just choosing to stay. It’s just… what started this all. I’ve always been like this, Theo. You know that.”

And he does. He knows you understand how he had, for the longest time, hid in his dark corner of revenge because you know what it’s like to carry that pain around all the time. To stand like it’s not slung on your back. To act like it’s not bothering you.

You continue, “I love you, and I love that you’re willing to do so much for me, but Theo—I want you to take care of yourself too.”

Theo has no response to that. There’s nothing more he wants to do than be at your side for every second of pain, of joy, of agony—and to be told to step back, he fears what he’s bound to lose.

You take a deep breath, sensing his hesitation. “You can’t take care of me when you’re hurt too,” you explain, pressing the palm of one hand to his cheek. “And I will never hold it against you, if you decide to step back. I don’t expect you to save me every time. Besides, I know you’re not leaving, you’re just taking a breath. Okay?”

“Okay.” Theo lets it all sink in. “But you’re not allowed to push me away when you begin to think that you’re a burden or all that. I get to decide when I’ve had enough. Is that clear?”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” you say, glad that he’s accepted your terms. You return to your safe space, face burrowed into the crook of his neck, and sigh when he begins to run his hands through your hair once again.

There are a lot of things the both of you still have to learn about maneuvering around each other: it always is, at the start of loves as great as this. And maybe now, it seems pitiful, it seems scary—two people fragile to the same fickle mind and heart, trying to patch each other up, but soon, eventually, the two of you will find a system that will keep the both of you afloat. Keep you together, no matter what kind of storms you might need to weather.

You look up at Theo once and smile; and he smiles back, maintaining his gaze on yours, feeling deep relief at the gentle, slow return of the light in your eyes.

“Thank you for finding me,” you mumble softly, cuddling even closer to him, so close that you feel most of your worries melt. “Stay with me until I’m better?”

He presses a kiss against your forehead, and you can almost hear him saying I’ll stay with you forever.

in the atelier: la mélancolie by Louis-Jean-François Lagrenée

#ikevamp #ikevamp theo #ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire theo #ikevam theo #ikevam #atelier heart #fic #our shadows fall away like dust

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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years

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March 2019 Book Roundup

Did I read a lot of duds in March? Yes. (YA Fantasy is not off to the greatest start this year.) However, I also read the first book of 2019 that I actually loved, Daisy Jones and The Six, and just finished the super fun thriller My Lovely Wife. Are things looking up? We shall see.

Four Dead Queens by Astride Scholte 2/5. In Quadara, a queen rules each nation, huddled away in a palace that keeps all four safe. Which is why it’s so shocking when Queen Iris is murdered within the very palace itself. Meanwhile, thief Keralie intercepts a comm disk that gives her a vision of not only Iris’s death, but those of the other three queens--all brutally murdered. Teaming up with the very messenger she stole from, Keralie sets out to discover the intended recipient of the disk, believing that this will uncover the killer and give her a valuable bartering tool. I really liked the concept of the four queens in theory--but first off, it really doesn’t work for a sci fi novel. And I didn’t read the summary closely enough, so I figured that this was a fantasy book. Second, the world is poorly built. Scholte also has way too many perspectives. Keralie is our ultimate lead, but we get a POV from each queen, and they are all more interesting and less annoying than Keralie, who just doesn’t think or act like a real person. Wouldn’t recommend.

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides. 2/5. Alicia Berenson is a popular and acclaimed painter--until she murders her husband with no warning. After Alicia becomes the main point of obsession for criminal psychotherapist Theo--to the point that he begins working at the institution in which she is housed for the explicit purpose of studying her--the question is raised: can she prompted out of her catatonic state? And if she is, what will she reveal? Basically, I hated reading from Theo’s perspective. What a typical boring mediocre male narrator. And the twist wasn’t anything special. I feel like the hype around these twisty thrillers is killing them early for me.

Intercepted by Alexa Martin. 2/5. Marlee is a football player’s long-time girlfriend, barely tolerated by the catty wives on the team. When her boyfriend is revealed as a cheater, the surprise comes in time with the arrival of Gavin Pope, the new quarterback--who happened to share a steamy night with Marlee years ago. So. I wanted to love this. But Martin uses a ton of hashtags in Marlee’s inner narration, and Gavin is less of a character than he is a random good guy. Everyone bad was cartoonishly bad. Everyone good was bland. The sexual tension was nice though.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. 4/5. In the format of interview transcripts recorded for the sake of a book, we explore the rise and fall of Daisy Jones and The Six, one of the most popular rock bands of the 70s. Daisy is a tornado, beautiful, talented, and hopelessly addicted to several different drugs when she runs into The Six, an established band that catapults into another level of fame when she joins. The band is full of dueling personalities--but no one clashes with Daisy more than lead singer Billy. Fresh off of beating his addictions and devoting himself to his wife, Camila, and their young family, Billy finds an artistic partner in Daisy like no other. But the tension between them can go nowhere good. This is the first great book I’ve read of the year--and it’s funny because I’d nearly given up on the author. This is either close to or at the quality of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Reid just needs to write books about the lives of fake old school celebrities for all eternity. Is the band clearly based off of Fleetwood Mac? Oh, yes. But it’s fucking addictive. Many of the characters are fleshed out--I loved Karen, the independent keyboardist who was really Daisy’s opposite but never acted like a Superior Feminist--but this is Daisy and Billy’s book. This is the kind of relationship I fucking love: the longing is there, and they kind of hate each other because they want to cross that line so badly but can’t. It’s not just a matter of a love triangle, either, which I love--the story may have been much simpler if Daisy and Billy weren’t addicts, and if he wasn’t sure that she would ruin his sobriety. Shout out to Camila, Billy’s wife; she could have been typical and long-suffering, but there was just enough of an extra something to make her whole. The ending was a bit sudden. That was my main issue. But it didn’t take away from how much I loved the book. Can’t wait for the TV adaptation.

An Anonymous Girl by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen. 3/5. Jessica is a starving makeup artist, barely making it by. So she can’t resist the opportunity that falls into her lap when a client drops out of a paid research study. Taking the client’s place, Jessica becomes Subject 52 in Dr. Shields’s study on morality. As the questions in the study become increasingly intense, Jessica becomes wrapped up in Dr. Shields’s true motives--which are much more personal than professional. This is a very standard thriller. As with their previous novels, the writers create a well-paced and engaging story, even if the characters are more fun devices than fleshed-out people. The issue with this one is that there is not only really no twist, but zero surprises. You’ll see every single beat coming. It was just a bit paint by numbers. But I liked it well enough otherwise.

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas. 2/5. The last book in the Throne of Glass series, because you have to finish things sometimes, right? (Even though I didn’t read the preceding book because it was about Chaol and I don’t hate myself.) The thing about Maas is that I think she can write perfectly respectable trashy fun wish fulfillment stuff, but it just starts to take itself so fucking seriously. And she added so many characters over time, and everyone had to have a (heterosexual) romance. I mean, even her lone bisexual character ultimately ends up in a hetero relationship. Not sure what that means. Also: every time she calls a dude a “male” because he’s a fairy, a part of me dies inside.

Bloodleaf by Crystal Smith. 2/5. Aurelia is a princess, loathed by her own people due to her supernatural abilities, and betrothed to the prince of a neighboring kingdom. After an assassination attempt exposes her to the people’s wrath, Aurelia is forced to flee her nation in disguise. She finds a surprising amount of freedom in her new home--but plots surrounding the crown follow her everywhere, and threaten the new life she’s forged. Basically, this one is just like.. I don’t know. The second star is an effort star, for sure. This is technically a Goose Girl retelling, though there is very little that bonds it with the original tale. Which is fine. What isn’t fine is Aurelia. Within 60 pages, I was very tired of her nonsensical actions and total petulance. I had no idea why she was making the choices she made. The story is also rather vague--though we’re presumably flitting between two different countries, the basic differences are “one is okay with magic, the other isn’t”. I also really didn’t understand the structure of Aurelia’s homeland, wherein people could basically like.... threaten the princess’s life on the regular while also not wanting to overthrow the entire royal family in general? And this is like, the rabble we’re talking about, not nobles. It didn’t super make sense as it was explained. I wish this was a better one.

My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing. 4/5. A married couple in an upper middle class neighborhood keep their marriage alive through a particular fetish--that happens to revolve around getting away with murder. It’s hard to discuss this one without giving much away. It’s actually told from the (nameless) husband’s perspective, which would annoy me more if it turned out the way I thought it would. Because the wife, Millicent, is so vibrant and so very good at what they do compared to the narrator, I thought that this was heading into Gone Girl territory. And indeed, I did predict a few twists that made it look that way even more. I can’t say much more than to finish with the fact that just when you think the novel is going towards one ending, the final sentence happens. A fun, compulsive read with very horrible human beings as the leads. My brand!

#reading roundup #book recs #books

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loserholland · 7 years

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The Contract Chapter Four

Honeymoon

Tags-

@steph-oliveira

@thegirlwiththeblackglasses

@nharp13

@lydiascreams

I grew up on the Island of Hawaii, to be exact I grew up on the Island of Oahu, I’ve lived in Hawaii for 13 years then moved to Las Vegas recently ( a year ago ). And I told myself I will get married in Hawaii or have my honeymoon there because no matter how far I am from home I’ll always find my way back 💖

I know the beach house is in maui but tbh there is not a lot of in my opinion nice beach houses so bear with me please.

Beach House

Warning- Fluff and a making out like teenagers lmao. Being a wanderlust & Visuals.

*I decided to cut out the lap dance for the next chapter (; *

A day early AYO!

Word Count- 2,620

“Aloha we are now landing in Daniel K. Inouye International Airport the current time is 12:47 PM, it is 84 degrees fahrenheit with about 9 miles per hour winds. It is another sunny day on the beautiful Island of Oahu. Enjoy your honeymoon Mr and Mrs Raeken.” The pilot on the private jet announced I squealed looking out the window to see the beautiful stretch of the beaches as the waves met the shore

“It’s beautiful.” I gasped looking out the jet window Theo laced his fingers with mine brining my hand up to his lips kiss the back of my hand as we prepared for landing.

Once the plane landed I waited for the jet door to open revealing sunny blue skies “Aloha, welcome to Honolulu.” a lady greeted as she held something with flowers in her hands. She walked up to Theo and I and placed them around our necks they were called ‘Lei’s’ and placed a beautiful pink flower behind my left ear “Remember to place the flower on your left because it signifies that you’re married.” I nodded as a rental car pulled up as Theo led me to the car.

We pulled up to a beautiful beach house “Theo it’s gorgeous!” I opened the car door getting out to wait by the front door “Theo! Hurry!” I urged as I placed my hand on the doorknob pulling it down “(Y/N) you pack too many clothes and only use a third of them.” Theo complained as he got it the luggage out of the car I rushed over to him to take the car keys and the house keys I flew the door opened and gasped “Theo! Hurry in hurry!” It was opened to the back with the view of the ocean and a huge pool. Theo walked in grunting as he walked in dragging the suit cases I turned on my heels and gave Theo a hug “Thank you.” I mumbled as Theo wrapped his arms around my waist “Of course princess, anything for you.” I pulled back to place a kiss on his cheek “Hurry! I wanna go get lunch!” I squealed heading up the stairs “Princess you’re forgetting something.” I stopped mid-way up the stairs as Theo looked at the suit cases then at me “Awe, you’re strong you got this hubby.” I said with sarcasm as I continued my way upstairs.

Lifeas(Y/N)

Lifeas(Y/N)- Honeymoon vibez 🍯🌙

We arrived at a place called ‘Pā’ina Cafe’ cute and small famous for their poke and I love sushi so I already know I’m gonna LOVE this place. “Hi welcome to Pā’ina Cafe.” the worker said behind the counter “Hi can I get a two large spicy ahi bowls and two waters.” the worker nodded “It’ll be $19.95″ Theo placed a twenty and placed the coins in the tip bottle along with two dollars. Once we got our order we decided to eat outside since it was so sunny out.

“I don’t understand your love for sushi.” Theo mumbled with a mouthful of food causing me to giggle “Me? Look at you! Manner’s Theodore chew with your mouth closed.” I joked as Theo threw me a playful glare I kicked his calf playfully Theo grabbed some of the napkins towards me as I giggled at his actions “Are you ready for desert? We can go back to the beach house and swim.” I nodded finishing what ever I had left in the bowl.

We headed into Waikiki and stopped over at a desert place called Shimazu Shave Ice, and let me tell you the shave ice was HUGE for a large and quite affordable we waited in line as I looked up at the endless flavors for the shave ice. Theo glanced at her and smirked as her nose scrunched reading the flavors he leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek causing (Y/N) to lose her train of thought “Huh?” I asked confusingly “Get whatever flavor you want I’ll share it with you.” I smiled leaning up to kiss Theo’s cheek “Next, hi may I take your order.” a lady in her mid fifties said behind the counter “Hi can we get a large vanilla, blue cotton candy and french vanilla with condense milk?” The women nodded behind the counter “That’ll be $5.00″ I handed her a twenty “Keep the change.” I smiled as she gave Theo and I a warm smile “Are you two on your honeymoon?” she asked as I looked down at my left hand “Yeah we are.” Theo answered placing a kiss on the crown of my head “Awe how sweet, and it’s great that you chose Hawaii great weather all year long.” I smiled “Yeah it’s been a dream and on my bucket list to come to Hawaii.” she smiled “I hope you enjoy your stay on this beautiful Island! Here’s your shave ice.” Theo took it from her thanking her as she went outside to eat the shave ice.

I laid on the beach chair waiting for Theo to come down and rub some sunscreen on my back “Okay where’s the sun screen.” I looked up to see Theo with blue swim trunks with seahorses cauisng me to laugh “Love the trunks.” I said sarcastically Theo laughed dryly “I’ll leave you to burn in the sun.” I handed him the sunscreen as he began to massage it into my back.

TheoRaeken

TheoRaeken- Wifey 💍

I swam over to Theo wrapping my arms around his neck “Thank you.” I whispered causing Theo to show off his beautiful pearly white teeth “Of course, you deserve a honeymoon.” I smiled peppering kisses all over his face causing Theo to smile he lifted me up into the air spinning me around causing me to giggle “Theo!” I squealed as he placed me back into the water kissing me sweetly. My heart fluttered, this is the first time this happened first time. Usually when Theo kisses me I don’t feel anything but now... now it felt like fireworks. As cliche as it sounds it’s true I pulled back my eyes fluttered open to meet Theo’s beautiful blue eyes I smirked to myself pushing him down into the water yep I ruined the moment. “(Y/N)!” Theo screamed as he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me into the water I swam up to the surface not long after Theo stood behind me wrapping his arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder “Let’s go to the edge.” he whispered I pulled away to look at him “Theo you know I’m short right?” I turned around to wrap my arms loosely around his neck “Well, I’ll carry you there.” Theo answered lifting me over his shoulder “Theo!” I squealed, once we were near the edge Theo placed me down gently into the water his arms tightened around my waist.

Silence filled the air, a good silence. The sound of the waves were calming standing here with Theo, my best friend... I married my best friend and here we are on our honeymoon. I never imagined myself here with Theo, the thought never crossed my mind but we’d be married for a year unless we develop feelings for each other. But one thing that I’ve been thinking about is, having kids. Being the only one out of the girls to not have children is kinda sad to me because honestly I treat them as if they’re my own... should I tell Theo? Should I use the gift Lydia gave me?

Lydia walked in with a Victoria’s Secret bags “I come bearing gifts!” she squealed dropping the bags down on my bed “Why?” I questioned looking at her with a confused expression “Duh for your honeymoon.” she pulled out a few kimonos that were satin then a few babydoll dresses “Lydia how much did you spend.” I grabbed one of the babydoll dresses that were a dark iron color a slit ran up the side and the coverage for the chest was lace it was quite beautiful “Uh about $500.” she shrugged taking out the rest of the items from the bag I gasped “Lydia Martin Stilinski! Why!” I questioned placing the dress onto the bed Lydia shrugged “Because I want a godson or goddaughter.. use any of these trust me it works.” my mouth gaped open “You want me to conceive a child in one of these things? Oh my don’t tell me that’s how you ended up pregnant with Allison.” Lydia began to chuckle “Yes that’s exactly how, now pack all of these beauties into that suitcase of yours.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Theo questioned I sighed turning around to sit on the ledge I fiddled with my ring “Do you think I’ll be a good mom?” one fear that I hate to come true is to be like my mother. She was never in my life and I wouldn’t want to miss any moment in my children’s life. “(Y/N) baby... you’d be a great mother. I know you’re greatest fear is you’ll become your mother but you won’t I’ve seen the way you look at Caleb and Cole. I know it may have crossed your mind to have kids, I would be lying if I said it never crossed my mind.” did he just say what I think he said? “Theo.” I whispered “(Y/N) I think.. I think we should give this marriage a shot. If you want to.” Theo scratched the back of his nape looking down shyly. I cupped his cheeks so that he was looking at me I pulled him down slightly to kissing him sweetly “I’d love too.”

Theo’s Outfit & Reader’s Outfit

“Theo are you sure you know where you’re going?” I questioned looking up from my phone every so often looking at the surroundings “Yes, we’ll be there in about five minutes.” I chuckled remembering when he said that the last time “Last time you told me we’re five to our destination we were an hour in traffic on our way to disneyland.” Theo laughed dryly “That was one time and we took the long way.” which was true he told me we’ll be there in five minutes more like fifty five minutes. “We’re here.” Theo announced getting out of the car to come to my side of the car “Told yah.” Theo said proudly as he helped me out of the car leading up to the dirt path.

These food truck had the BEST garlic shrimp “This is sooo good.” I said with a mouthful causing Theo to chuckle he pulled out his phone and began taking pictures “Theo!” I reached forward to grab his phone Theo quickly placed it back in his pocket he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it “Hush princess.” Theo smirked.

Our next stop was Dole Plantation and we’d head back to the beach house in time for dinner. The thing about Dole Plantation was there’s a maze and one thing I hate are mazes, but knowing Theo he’s competitive and would want to race to see who finishes first. We both stood outside the maze a lump began to form in my throat causing me to swallow hard “Ready?” Theo questioned with a smirk, nope not ready not even closer “Loser buys the ice cream.” Theo headed to the left as I stood there hesitant as I slowly made my way to the right.

“Stay calm and just find your way out” I reminded myself each turn I made was either a dead end or lead to a dead end “Theo?” I screamed as I felt my head begin to spin “Theo! I wanna leave you win! I just wanted ice cream!” my vision began to blur as I looked around to see no one near me “Theo!” I screamed as I felt fresh salty tears slip down my cheeks I began to walk backwards till I hit something hard thinking it was the bushes till it went “Boo.” and last time I checked bushes can’t talk. I screamed turning around ready to hit whatever it was I backed into to till the thing I bumped into was Theo “You! I want to leave I just wanted ice cream.” I mumbled placing my sunglasses on my nose to hide the fact that I had been crying “Princess I’m-” I turned to look at Theo “No I just wanted ice cream but now I want to leave.” Theo nodded his gaze fixed towards the ground leading us out.

*Third person P.O.V*

The drive back was silent music played softly in the background shared glances here and there but no one spoke. Eventually (Y/N) fell asleep thirty minutes into the car ride Theo glanced at her every so often to make sure she was okay. Once he reached the beach house he went out to unlock the door and went back to the car to carry (Y/N) out. Once he placed her on their shared bed he removed her shoes and placed the covers over her body, Theo left he placed a kiss on her forehead he had got up to leave till (Y/N) grabbed his wrist “Stay, just sleep with me.” she mumbled snuggling into the pillow as Theo kicked off his shoes “Don’t sleep for too long, I wanted to take you out to dinner.” Theo mumbled snuggling closer to (Y/N). Her eyes fluttered open slightly to meet Theo’s eyes “You don’t need to take me out to dinner.” she snuggled closer to him “I’m sorry I overreacted.” Theo glanced down at (Y/N) and smiled “Princess I should be the one saying sorry, but I wanted to take you out to dinner.” he whined causing (Y/N) to shake her head “No, I just want to have dinner in please?” Theo gave her a small nod his eyes fluttering shut as they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

(Y/N) sat on the couch changing the channels as Theo was busy cooking dinner, she felt the couch dip as Theo let out a sigh “Dinner is in the oven.” (Y/N) smirked to herself as she moved to straddle Theo lap as his hands flew to her waist “Wanna make out like horny teenager?” her arms rested loosely around his neck as she played with the his short brown locks “Well aren’t you straight forward?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully as she leaned in closer her lips ghosting over his “So is that a yes or a no?” Theo closed the small gap between them as their lips moved in sync (Y/N) began to move her hips against his at a slow pace. Theo licked the bottom of her lips a few times (Y/N) decided to bite his bottom lip pulling back a little as Theo changed their positions so that (Y/N) under him “Bad kitten.” Theo’s voice was raspy as (Y/N) tried to catch her breath Theo kissed her harshly as he licked the bottom of her lip a few times causing (Y/N) to part them slightly as their tongues fought for dominance which Theo won. Just then the timer went off causing Theo to pull away breathlessly “Dinner time.”

Theo and (Y/N) sat on the lounge chair as they watched the sunset “Thank you for this honeymoon Theo.” she leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek “No problem princess anything for you.” Theo placed both their plates of lasagna on the ground as (Y/N) moved to lay against Theo’s body her back pressed against his chest. Theo placed a kiss on her exposed shoulder as ocean breeze filled the air as they watched the sun go down.

Best honeymoon ever.

#theo raeken #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken smut #theo raeken x reader #theo in a suit hot hot hot #The Contract #cody christian #cody christian imagine #cody christian smut #cody in a suit hot #hawaii #honeymoon #loserraeken masterlist #loserraeken #theo raeken au #theo raeken fanfiction #cody christian au #cody christian fanfiction

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mermaidsirennikita · 6 years

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May 2018 Book Roundup

I don’t know when I got so into thrillers--but here we are. Of course, I’m not as into the types of thrillers that are about a cop pursuing a killer. It’s more the insidious types of domestic thrillers that catch my attention, about idle suburbanites who secretly harbor paranoid minds and little hatreds. That’s probably why I enjoyed “A Simple Favor” by Darcey Bell and Liv Constantine’s “The Last Mrs. Parrish”, however much they polarized readers. They both feature horrible women, stupid men, unreliable narrators, and endings that don’t neatly tie up loose ends. In other words, they’re perfect summer reads.

The Defiant by Lesley Livingston. 3/5. The second in a series, The Defiant returns to the world of female gladiators and in particular Fallon. Now triumphant and happy in a ludus run by her sister, Sorcha, Fallon expects to have it easier. However, her life is upturned when the women of the ludus are accused of rebelling, and Sorcha goes missing. I rated The Valiant, the first book in this series, four stars so I must have enjoyed it, but I also don’t really remember it, aside from the basic plot and being interested in Sorcha and Fallon’s relationship. I would still say that the sister relationship is the core focus of the plot, which is different (and distracts from a fairly shallow romance between Fallon and Cai, a Roman soldier; there’s an opportunity for something cooler, but the author bypasses that completely). But I think I’m over this series; this book drove home that it skews too young for me to enjoy it. The gladiatrix thing is cool, but there’s so much in this book about how the ludus is home, and like... hasn’t everyone been enslaved by Romans to some degree? Taken from their homelands? Forced into a blood sport to be entertainment? It’s fun, and I won’t say that it isn’t without merits, but this is too shallow for what it takes on.

Fatal Throne by Candace Fleming et. al. 4/5. A collaborative novel from the perspectives of all six of Henry VIII’s queens--and Henry himself. What impressed me about this book was how it wasn’t really straightforward. It seems like it might be at first; Catherine of Aragon’s section kicks it off by detailing the beginning of Catherine’s life in England, up until her marriage is collapsing. Now, don’t think that this makes it a bad story; I quite liked it. Catherine of Aragon is, in this version, for once more than a stereotypical zealot queen, though the author does that thing where a character whose native tongue is Spanish constantly throws random Spanish words into English sentences, which doesn’t feel real. But anyway; many of the other stories are less traditional. All revolve around the queens’ downfalls or deaths; for example, Anne (or Anna, as she’s called here) of Cleves has a story that really centers around her dying days, and the ghosts of her past. There’s a weird, haunting creepiness to everything. Though there are some rather shallow moments--including one bit in the Anne Boleyn story that seemed... pretty off--and there isn’t any reinventing of the wheel, it’s a sad retelling of the wives’ story, where the central villain is undeniably Henry VIII.

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian. 2/5. Theodosia was a child when she was forced to witness the murder of her mother, the queen of Astrea. Since then she’s been beaten and terrorized in the submission by the conquering Kaiser, forced to live as Lady Thora, the Ash Princess. The combination of being forced to commit a terrible act and the reappearance of a childhood friend wakes Thora to the reality of her people’s suffering, and spurs her to action. She’s given a task: seduce the crown prince, and kill him. So yeah, pretty typical fantasy stuff, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. What makes it bad is Theo’s flip-flopping as a character and a truly dismal love triangle. Neither romance feels real, and Theo’s constantly between dithering and acting like... Stormborn-lite. Oh, yes. The GoT influence is strong in this one. I just wish it had been more interesting.

Love and Ruin by Paula McLain. 3/5. The turbulent romance between Ernest Hemingway and his third wife, writer Martha Gellhorn, is told from Gellhorn’s perspective. I remember really liking McLain’s version of Hemingway’s first marriage, “The Paris Wife”, but that was so long ago that I can’t remember much of it. And for that matter, that marriage--which occurred during Hemingway’s years as part of the Lost Generation in Paris--was a very different animal from what he shared with Gellhorn. You get the expected beats--Gellhorn and Hemingway meeting, her being initially starstruck while harboring her own ambitions, their work during the Spanish Civil War, the affair that led to a marriage, and that marriage’s destruction because Hemingway was incapable of holding a decent relationship and Gellhorn’s fierce independence kept her from being the idealized wife he wanted--but while the writing is pretty... the expectedness keeps the book from being more than exactly what it is. And though obviously Gellhorn was a good bit younger than Hemingway and obviously her love for him and hero worship of him allowed to overlook shit long enough to up and marry the guy... I just don’t really buy that Martha Gellhorn would speak and act the way McLain seems to think she did. She’s so over the top as a young woman in love. The book is fine, it’s just uninspired.

Trespassing by Brandi Reeds. 4/5. Veronica is at her wit’s end, caring for a toddler while her husband is often gone for work as a pilot, while at the same time pumping herself full of hormones for her fertility treatments in order to have a second child. Still traumatized by the miscarriage she suffered recently, she is shocked when her husband, Micah, doesn’t come home--on the same day that their daughter claims that “Daddy went to God Land”. Swept up in a mess of emotions and falling under suspicion from the police, Veronica flees with her daughter to the Florida Keys, where her husband had a house in her name. But the island life presents even more questions. Who are the children in the photos she finds, and why is Micah with them? This is a solid, engaging thriller that somehow is at its most disturbing when you consider the fact that Veronica’s mind is rattled in part because of what she’s put her body through via fertility treatments. Veronica is sympathetic, and rather than stupidly accepting things like thriller protagonists often do, she’s paranoid, protective, never quite trusting anyone. Why should she? While I won’t say that the reveal in the end is one of the best I’ve read, the story as a whole is very interesting, and I appreciated the fact that Reeds really delved into the mind of a woman with a bit of feminine body horror--like, in a sensitive way. It’s different. The book is as much about Veronica’s identity as anything else.

The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine. 4/5. Amber envies the lives of glamorous trophy wives, none of them more than Daphne Parrish. Daphne has it all: a handsome, doting, extraordinarily wealthy husband, two daughters, and all of the possessions she could desire. So she begins her plan: befriend Daphne under the guise of a homely, Pollyanna type and steal her life. But as Amber becomes closer to Daphne, she constantly has to look over her shoulder for ghosts from her past that could disrupt her plan. Little does she know that the real danger could be closer than she thinks. This book was kind of disturbing and definitely does not have the type of ending that will leave you.... feeling morally good. But it’s juicy. It’s Big Little Lies kind of juicy, about vaguely psychotic women with rich and famous lives. Frankly, I would have appreciated more development of the female characters aside from Amber and Daphne, but the two of them were great as is. You spend about half the book in Amber’s mind, and she is HEINOUS. But in an interesting, darkly funny way. The book isn’t going to be for everyone, but I found it extremely entertaining.

Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton. 2/5. Marisol has never been to Cuba, the homeland her grandmother, Elisa, fled as a young woman. She returns to scatter Elisa’s ashes after the death of Fidel Castro. However, she didn’t expect to connect with Luis, a historian and dissenter in the current regime--nor did she expect to discover that her grandmother had an affair with a revolutionary. This book has a lot to say about Cuban politics; and I value that. But unfortunately, the political backdrop takes over the story, which is very paint by numbers. Nothing surprising happens. The characters are dry. I wish I loved it, but I just didn’t.

From Twinkle, with Love by Sandhya Menon. 3/5. Teenage Twinkle is an aspiring filmmaker, out of sorts as her relationship with her best friend Maddie--newly popular while Twinkle remains a bit of nerd--deteriorates. She’s surprised when Sahil--the shy twin brother of her crush, Neil--asks her to collaborate on him on a gender-flipped version of Dracula, but it isn’t long before she’s starting to look at Sahil in a very different way. At the same time, however, she’s corresponding via email with her secret admirer, N--who she very much suspects is Neil. What is Twinkle to do? I loved Menon’s debut, When Dimple Met Rishi, and I’m still very excited for the spinoff of that book. It was a perfect little romcom. This was not. This book read much younger--and Twinkle and Sahil are a bit younger than Dimple and Rishi were. But their voices were also VERY immature, and in general it just... missed the mark for me. I think someone younger would love this book. It did touch on several really great threads, especially with Twinkle’s family. But I didn’t feel the same thing I felt with WDMR at all.

Furyborn by Claire Legrand. 4/5. When her best friend Prince Audric finds his life endangered, Rielle saves him--exposing herself as capable of wielding all seven types of elemental magic. There are two people foretold to have this gift; one will be a queen who brings light and salvation, while the other holds blood and destruction. Put to the test in a series of trials, Rielle must prove exactly which one she is. A thousand years later, bounty hunter Eliana is shocked to find her mother kidnapped, with the only person who can help find her being a rebel leader. In joining up with him, Eliana defies the empire she’s worked for--and puts herself in terrible danger. This book is an interesting one; the two narratives you’re following are focused heavily on their respective leads, and neither woman is traditionally “good”. Eliana has the charm of being a tortured rogue, at least--Rielle is more complex, obsessed with adulation and self-centered to the point of callousness. But I enjoyed both of them, with Eliana’s story picking up a few points over Rielle’s towards the end... which was a pleasant surprise, as at first I wasn’t sure if Eliana’s side of things would measure up to Rielle’s. There is a lot amgoing on, so things can get a bit confusing--and this makes the middle drag a bit. But the ending left me dying for more, with the only other complaint I can make being that Legrand could work on her sex scenes a tad. But if you’re looking for a female-centered story with a few guys who are all about that undying devotion thing, plus a sexy villain and moral ambiguity, I recommend this one highly.

One Match Fire by Lissa Linden. 2/5. Twelve years ago, Paul and Amy were camp counselors--and he broke her heart. Now Amy is back to run the camp after Paul quits, though they don’t realize that they’ll be meeting up again until she’s at his door, physically different but emotionally still affected by what happened between them during their teen years. Both frustrated and with few other options, they make a deal: until Paul leaves, they’ll have a purely sexual relationship. But Paul wants to know what really has Amy rattled--and he doesn’t want to leave anymore. I like romance, I like erotica--I wasn’t sure how to categorize this book, as most of it is graphic sex but I don’t know, the erotica bells weren’t quite ringing for me--but I still need stakes. They don’t need to be fantasy stakes. They don’t need to be thriller stakes. It could be that the family business is about to go under; it could be that the leads are dueling lawyers. STAKES. This book has no stakes. I thought that Paul did something super shitty when these (28 year old) people were kids, but like... it was a bit douchey, but tons of people were dicks to me in high school, I was a dick back, and I don’t remember much of it. Certainly, I found Amy’s reaction a bit over the top. At the same time, Paul was--very shortly into this sexual relationship--being like “give yourself to me emotionally Amy” and I was like lmao dude why y’all haven’t spoken there is no reason for you to be so invested in this woman. He was so pushy, it really irked me. The sex scenes were okay. “Will these two people run a camp together” just wasn’t a big enough question to keep me interested.

A Simple Favor by Darcey Bell. 4/5. Widowed, neurotic mommy blogger Stephanie has found the best friend of her dreams in Emily Nelson, a wealthy publicity exec with a handsome husband and beloved son Nicky, who happens to be the best friend of Stephanie’s son Miles. So when Emily asks Stephanie for a “simple favor”--to watch Nicky for a few hours after school--Stephanie doesn’t hesitate to do so. But when Emily doesn’t show to pick Nicky up--when she isn’t even home by the time her husband Sean returns from a business trip--Stephanie goes on red alert. It isn’t long before the police find Emily’s body; and it also isn’t long before Stephanie begins taking her place. As Stephanie begins receiving odd messages, the question is impossible to avoid: what really happened to Emily Nelson? Alternating between Stephanie’s blog posts and the characters’ perspectives, “A Simple Favor” is one of those thrillers that is kind of balls to the wall insane. You can expect to find that Emily wasn’t all that she appeared to be. But Stephanie’s secrets are just as great, if not greater. I’ve seen a common complaint regarding this book regarding the fact that none of the characters are good people. For me, that just made it more delicious. Emily is this enigmatic, alluring figure luring over the entire story, and you just can’t shake her appeal.

#books #book recs #book roundup

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