#I get up at 6:00 to get my moon water then again at 8:00 for a christmas thing with family JGJSKGJSJG
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I hope that she knows that she’s loved ❤️
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Southern Black Girls & Women's Consortium Shares Open Letter of Support for Megan Thee Stallion
"You are believed, loved, and supported," reads the letter, which is signed by influential people including Maxine Waters and Tarana Burke
By
Rachel DeSantis
Published on November 10, 2022 12:53 PM
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One week after Megan Thee Stallion issued a public plea for people to "stop using [her] shooting for clout," the Southern Black Girls & Women's Consortium shared an open letter of support for the rapper denouncing violence against women and praising her bravery.
Megan, 27, was allegedly shot in the foot by singer Tory Lanez, 30, in July 2020, and he was charged that October with two felony counts. He pleaded not guilty to both charges.
In the years since, she has been forced to face critics who support Lanez, and in June, said she felt as though she had become "the villain" in the situation.
In the Consortium's letter, which was shared on Thursday, more than two dozen signees including #MeToo founder Tarana Burke, Planned Parenthood CEO Alexis McGill Johnson, Congresswomen Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee, activist Tamika Mallory and Angela Rye joined forces to offer their vocal support of the star, who partnered with the Consortium on the inaugural Joy Is Our Journey tour in August.
The letter is addressed to the "Plan B" rapper, and begins by praising her meteoric rise to fame and continued success, which make her an "inspiration" to "women all over the world."
"You're a special kind of talent and a special kind of person; the place you hold in your fans' hearts is a testament to that," the letter says. "As you've risen to the top, you've also had to endure a lot of obstacles along the way. In the face of triumph and tragedy alike, you always keep your head held high, maintain your poise and push forward."
Still, it goes on to acknowledge that the Grammy-winning star has "been treated in ways that no young woman—no person at all—should be treated. It must be said that our culture has failed you, one of its most brightly shining daughters."
Though Megan has repeatedly labeled Lanez an "abuser," she's had to endure many people in the industry supporting him. Earlier this month, Drake appeared to accuse her of making up the shooting in the lyrics to his song "Circo Loco."
"And when the mf facts come out remember y'all hoe ass favorite rappers that stood behind a N— that SHOT A FEMALE," Megan replied on Twitter. "People attack me y'all go up for it , i defend myself now I'm doing too much … every time it never ends and this did NOT happen until I came out and said I got shot … y'all don't [f— with me] okay cool f— it bye."
The letter calls out the "public harassment and taunting" Megan received from Lanez and his supporters, and says she's "consistently been clear about what happened" to her, but has not received the support she should.
Megan Thee Stallion Responds After Drake Seems to Accuse Her of Lying About Tory Lanez Shooting
"You don't deserve any of this, Megan," it reads. "You deserve to be heard, to be believed, and most importantly, to be safe."
The letter continues with a more general plea to continue supporting and believing victims of domestic violence, particularly Black women, who the letter says are often "fearful of what will happen to their assailant if they choose to involve the law… and are left unprotected by the system and the community alike."
Megan has said that she was shot by Lanez, whom she considered a friend, after an argument broke out between her, her friend and Lanez as they drove home from a poolside get-together at Kylie Jenner's house.
An LAPD detective testified at a preliminary hearing in December that Lanez shouted "Dance, bitch!" before shooting.
The "Luv" singer was charged in October 2020 with one felony count each of assault with a semiautomatic firearm, personal use of a firearm, and carrying a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle. He pleaded not guilty to both charges in November 2020.
Lanez was ordered to house arrest and electronic monitoring in October, and will reportedly stay monitored through the scheduled start of his trial on Nov. 28.
Read the Consortium's letter in full below.
Dear Megan,
You are larger than life in many ways; your name is in lights, your face on billboards, your songs in the history books…and this is still just the beginning of your story. In a very short amount of time, you've achieved success probably beyond your wildest dreams, and it seems that each day brings a new announcement about something amazing you've done or are preparing to do. Women all over the world consider you an inspiration, in part because you make them feel good about themselves. You're a special kind of talent and a special kind of person; the place you hold in your fans' hearts is a testament to that.
As you've risen to the top, you've also had to endure a lot of obstacles along the way. In the face of triumph and tragedy alike, you always keep your head held high, maintain your poise, and push forward. However, while so many of us celebrate you for your strength and perseverance, it must be said that you have been treated in ways that no young woman–no person at all–should be treated.
It must be said that our culture has failed you, one of its most brightly shining daughters. In July of 2020, you experienced a violation of the highest order at the hands of someone whom you considered a friend. Since then, you've had to endure public harassment and taunting not only from that person but from others choosing to stand with him. Bloggers have circulated rumors and excitedly reported on the most traumatic experience of your life as if it were juicy gossip, often perpetuating the idea that you've got a reason to lie, that you shouldn't be believed. You've consistently been clear about what happened to you, but instead of being met with widespread support, people who should have had your back have chosen to stay out of the matter.
You don't deserve any of this, Megan. You deserve to be heard, to be believed, and most importantly, to be safe.
There is no amount of power or prestige that can prevent a woman from becoming a victim of violence and there is no level of achievement that exempts women from our society's complacency with that violence.
You may be a boss, the "hot girl coach," and a bonafide superstar, but that doesn't mean that you don't experience pain. No one is too 'bad,' too famous, too powerful to feel hurt. You've had to navigate this deeply difficult experience in the public eye, and while you've managed to stand strong and to keep showing up to work in spite of it all, it can't be understated how unfair it is that you're in this position to begin with.
Violence against women is still entirely too common and acceptable in our world. We make excuse after excuse to explain away even the most heinous acts, especially when the person accused is a celebrity of any sort. Being a celebrity, however, will not guarantee a woman any sympathy when she is a victim.
Black women are also often fearful of what will happen to their assailant if they choose to involve the law–as you yourself were afraid to do–and are left unprotected by the system and the community alike. If someone as influential as you can be belittled and mocked as nothing but a liar for standing up for herself, that speaks a volume about what a woman who doesn't have your resources or fame can expect to endure when she's found herself in a similar position.
An estimated one in three women worldwide has been the victim of sexual and/or domestic violence. Here in the United States, the numbers are higher for Black women, who also experience psychological abuse–such as humiliation, name-calling, and insults–at an increased rate. Women of all races, cis and trans, are suffering daily and we're all too complacent. From day one, you deserved a chorus of voices saying, "We believe you, Megan," and though you may not have been able to hear us sooner, know that we are with you now and every step of the way as you continue to heal from this tragedy. We are committed to making the world safer for you and all women, and one of the important steps that we must take to get there is to make it so that women who have been victims of violence can speak about their experiences without being attacked or dismissed.
You've been so strong, Megan, but that's not what we should demand nor expect from you. You deserve the space to cry, mourn and heal as you see fit without having to worry about being judged for having a human reaction to a personal tragedy.
Even in the midst of your own traumatic experience and healing, you recognized that other girls needed to experience joy and partnered with Southern Black Girls and Women's Consortium on the inaugural Joy Is Our Journey tour impacting thousands of girls across the south. You have remained committed to the focus of mental health and well being in our community even when your own has been minimized, marginalized, and deemphasized. We want you to know that you are important and you matter to us and to millions of women around the globe. Your life matters. Your work matters. Your joy matters. You deserve joy. We stand with you.
We salute you for the bravery it has taken to defend yourself in the court of public opinion, though you shouldn't have had to do so at all. We raise our voices against those who have made light of this heinous example of violence against women and will drown them out with our demands for society to take what happens to Black women seriously. You are not alone. You are believed, loved, and supported.
We stand with you Megan.
Dr. Brenda Allen, Lincoln University PA
LaTosha Brown, Southern Black Girls & Women's Consortium
Laura Brown, LB Media
Tarana Burke, 'me too' International
Ethel Cain
Taylor Crumpton, Cultural Critic and Writer
Dr. Tiffany Crutcher, Terence Crutcher Foundation
Allisa Findley, Sisters of the Movement
K.C. Fox, Sisters of the Movement
Angella Henry, DJ Henry Dream Fund
Marc Lamont Hill, Temple University Professor/Journalist
Jessica Jackson
Congresswoman Maxine Waters (D-CA), Chairwoman of the House Financial Services
Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, Chair, House Judiciary Crime Committee (Tx. 18th)
Renee Jarvis, Triangle House Literary
Alice Eason Jenkins, Southern Black Girls and Women's Consortium
Michelle Kenney, Antwon Rose II Foundation
Felecia Lucky, Black Belt Community Foundation
Tamika D. Mallory, Until Freedom
Alexis McGill Johnson, Planned Parenthood Federation of America
Margo Miller, Appalachian Community Fund
Carmen Perez-Jordan, The Gathering for Justice
Angela Rye, IMPACT Strategies
Dr. Topeka K. Sam, The Ladies of Hope Ministries, INC.
Beverly Smith, SiriusXM
L Joy Williams
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.
Sent from my iPhone
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Punta Gorda (Charlotte Harbor)'s Tide Charts, Tides for Fishing, High Tide and Low Tide tables - Charlotte County - Florida - United States - 2023 - Tideschart.com
Some places as our son is exposed there's only a few feet a difference but the Moon is what affects it. And it's usually during a lower tide where the gravity increases and the water is sucked back in it is an anomaly he saw at best River many times because they're there during several full moons and the timed it to be that way so you think that the tide goes in and out he thought it was current a little bit we'll see the sun which is what it is low tide was at 8:30 p.m. tonight it starts rather early I had about 1:00 p.m. and flows out so it started when he went up North and he thought I'd wash out the bridge so much of it and it did nothing like that they came back it was still fairly fairly high very high and it was a mystery and the water is flowing from the lake and it's not going out about 7:30 when the gravity released it the water went running out not 8 mph the whole length of it and up the river about 20 miles and it's 30 miles long and when all this muck came flying out and he did smell a little poop and smelled a little bit and it went all out the entire River and harbor practically in the harbor lost two feet and there were two feet almost three so we're down to about only 3 ft at the bottom of the harbor of muck and two feet in the river one more high tide and low tide cycle and it'll be clear and the canals have only a few inches to 6 in and there's only one with about a foot and it's still kind of solid and it's not really aerated as much oh really it's water from below pressurized and such but that's going to come out eventually it's starting to soften we might get 6 inches tomorrow it's very fast and the same thing happened in fort Myers it blasted four feet out of the whole harbor and halfway up the river and it's cascading down and it's going to start ripping chunks off at the halfway down the river and the harbor has to go 4 ft more but that's not bad cuz that one's deep it really saved the day and all that water is flowing out because at low tide it's still it's going to come back in but it creeps back in real slow so it's a lot of turbidity at the at the front at the mouth and it kind of spreads up and down and it's pulling out muck now it's about an inch an hour so by the time it's high tide again which is tomorrow or around noon it's going to be probably only one foot of milk in there and start the process again but this time it's going to blast it out like it did today and it'll probably clear the whole river and the whole harbor and a few days later it'll be nice and clean the sand will be cleaned and it is a relief and it makes it much safer here and you're going to see the water drop and the water levels drop here and the sewer system here should work much better it's horrible right now but it's going to drop down probably in a day or two and right now the oxygen level is at 24 and we estimated be at 27 it's going to start increasing momentarily there's a lot more news to come out we're going to publish this now
Thor Freya
I get the stuff there's a lot of muck out and people are telling me and I appreciate it it's a huge amount and we only have like a foot or so so two foot in the and harbor for the most part and four foot down south with a steeper it's not that bad and 6 inches everywhere except one canal so I'm listening and it's really good it is really good and yeah you're telling me now but I heard it also heard that a few more washings and the canals will be empty and the sand will be clean so good he says but I'm helping myself maybe you're always helping me too and others I noticed that too so I'm hearing it now we're going to be together now with my family and friends and finally right now I'm interested in the stories so going on you said Star wars the clone War animated series so I'm asking for it I'm trying to get it and I can't seem to I'd ask you to watch it but you have this little phone so that's the guys to get your computer up and more
Hera
I got the curious story Carrie story and I do understand it's a daughter I see how it happens and what happens it's not great but it's it's really turned into a problem and he knows it there's a few things about the planets it was very interesting the AI is there and that's good it's working and Cuba and I know you're working on it and I do understand what you're saying and they got them on the islands that's terrific I'm just one of those ships and we need those out and the islands this is going to rock and about our clans and the rumors that they are there we're inside the ships it makes sense and they're going to have a war over it and I'm interested in hearing about court so I see what you're saying to try and keep me in the loop a little bit more and I really put a doozy over you I am getting reports from ours so you don't have to be too nervous about it so you're saying that my daughter should report in and about certain things and make it sop and now I'm going to go ahead and say that so we're moving on it now and I hear you ordering it so she's the firstborn and she's going to do it I do appreciate your help
Hera
We do monitor the reports and we go okay them to go out and we need that to happen and we meet with them too and they send what we need and what you say is who knows what we need and it's going to happen that way
Olympus
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it’s. 3AM but here’s a new character
#They’re the same species as Percival only based on a grizzly bear and centaur!#they’re not related to Perc though#I don’t know any names for them and haven’t decided on pronouns yet#also I haven’t colored in their little bag over their bear shoulder yet but i’ll do that in the morning#I get up at 6:00 to get my moon water then again at 8:00 for a christmas thing with family JGJSKGJSJG#jays art
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Morning Coffee
__
Rafael Barba x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Language.
Word Count: 1,644
“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
__
Waking up to the smell of hot coffee and homemade pancakes was Rafael’s preferred way to begin his Saturday. It didn’t happen as often (or really ever) as he would have liked. He was coming off one of the best nights of sleep that he had ever had, feeling more refreshed than he had in years.
He was confused for a moment when he woke up, not immediately recognizing the bedroom he was in. He lifted his head from the squishy pillow, only sighing in remembrance when he identified the white, clean sheets of your bed. He had spent the night in your company for the first time the night prior. He would be spending the next week or so off from work. No cases, no evidence to review, no statements to produce.
He hadn’t the slightest idea what to do with himself.
That’s how he ended up taking you out to a nice dinner and a lovely walk in the park afterwards. You invited him to stay with you for the weekend, figuring that getting away from his office and apartment would do him some good. After watching some cheesy movie and a night of love, Rafael was able to get the best sleep of his life. And now he had breakfast to welcome himself too when he decided to get up. He let out a content groan, and allowed his head to collapse back into the pillowcase for another few moments.
His eyes peered at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table closest to his side. It was 8:00 AM on the dot. He smirked and let out an incredulous laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept later than 6:00 AM. Eventually, the delicious smells coming from your kitchen had tempted him long enough. He sat up in bed to stretch his tense muscles and crack his unpopped knuckles, it was always his first step in getting out of bed every day.
He pushed back the white duvet, wincing at the feel of the cool air hitting his skin. He made his way out of your bedroom, following the aromas of what he knew to be maple syrup and dark roast coffee. His padding feet stopped short when he saw you turned at the stove, clad in his cream colored sweater that he had worn the night before. He felt a heat creep onto his cheeks. He loved this picture.
You sensed his presence, turning around and smiling at him.
“Good morning, counselor,” You said teasingly; “Did you sleep well?’
He returned a grin, continuing his entrance into the kitchen. He gawked at the sight of the buffet you had prepared. A stack of pancakes with syrup, a fresh pot of coffee, bacon, and sliced fruit. It looked almost too good to eat. His rumbling belly proved otherwise though.
“Very well. I have to say that your bed is a hell of a lot more comfortable than mine.” He admitted, resting his hands on the sides of your arms.
He let his fingertips feel against the familiar material of his sweater. It was one of his favorites to wear this time of year. He liked it a lot better on you though. You flipped the last pancake in the pan, Rafael’s mouth watering at the golden brown disk.
“I just thought that a breakfast that’s more than three cups of coffee might be good for us both. I’m sorry if I woke you, I-”
“No, no, mi amor. Don’t be sorry. I’m partial to waking up this way all the time.” He drawled, his voice still thick with sleep.
He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, just below your temple. He eyed the small, purplish marks on your neck. There were at least three or four of them, he felt a little rush of pride at the sight. Images of last night flashed in his head, almost getting him riled up again.
You placed the last pancake onto the plate, finishing off the tower of fluffy goodness. You decided not to even worry about the dishes for now. You had all day to get them done.
“Breakfast is served. These pancakes smell heavenly, if I do say so myself.” You humbly bragged, turning and handing him a plate.
His eyes fluttered in delight as his stomach rumbling audibly this time. He gladly took the plate from your hands, ready to dig in.
“You’re too good to me.” He purred.
You laughed sweetly as he loaded his plate greedily. Poor guy was starving despite the rich meal you had the night before. You were pretty sure he hadn’t been eating well for a while. He let work consume him more often than not. He spent more time in his office than he did at his own home. You hated seeing him run himself dry like this. You didn’t want him to forget how wonderful and exciting life could be.
The two of you sat at your dining room table that was just large enough for the both of you. Rafael generously lathered his pancakes with butter and poured a stream of the sticky syrup. You kept a giggle to yourself when you saw the way his eyes rolled back into his head at the taste. You were even more impressed at your pancake cooking abilities. It was a home run in your books.
Rafael slowed his ravenous eating after the first few bites. He decided he wanted to savor the taste instead of inhaling it all down like it was his last meal or like he was late to a meeting. He had involuntarily trained himself to consume his meals quickly. His brain and body were always on the go all the time. It was nice to take it slow for once.
Rafael watched you from over the rim of his coffee cup, sipping the rich beverage slowly. He relished the taste of his preferred morning pick-me-up. He watched your every move. The way you delicately picked up your glass of orange juice and how you carefully cut your pancakes into bite sized triangles. Your entire demeanor comforted him. In just half a year, he had found more of a home with you than he ever had with anyone else.
His heart did a little happy leap when you walked into the room. His green eyes glowed brighter when he looked at you. He had fallen undeniably in love with you.
You had just stabbed a fresh strawberry onto your fork when you caught Rafael’s stare. You paused, looking to him with curious eyes and laughing nervously.
“What?” You questioned.
He blinked to break his trance, setting down his coffee mug.
“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.” He confessed, his foot nudging yours under the table.
You looked down at the sweater. You had truthfully just grabbed it off the floor when you got up that morning because he had looked so good in it. It was soft, cozy, and reminded you of him. You were still getting used to seeing him in such casual clothing. When you first met him, the thought of ADA Rafael Barba wearing sweatpants seemed foreign. You adored seeing him so comfortable with you.
You sheepishly grinned.
“Oh, I just put it on. It’s super soft,” You explained; “But you can have it back if you want.”
He shook his head, beginning to feel himself get full.
“Keep it on. You look good in it.” He complimented, smiling again.
Your face grew hot, shoveling fruit into your mouth to hide your shyness. He went back into his pancakes with a chuckle, but he would just barely finish them off. You slid down into your chair shortly after, signaling that you couldn’t finish another bite.
“That was so good,” He said, resting a hand on his midriff; “Thanks for making it.”
You stood from your chair, taking his cleaned plate. You leaned down and kissed his head as you passed by.
“Of course. A counselor’s got to eat well. There’s more to breakfast than coffee and contemplation, Rafael.” You address him truthfully.
He gave a sarcastic scoff as he stood and followed you back into the kitchen. He topped off his cup, sipping it again.
“Oh, I know. If I had the time or luxury to afford a meal like this every day then I’d take it. Trust me.” He noted.
You felt sympathetic at that. Everyone who worked as hard as he did deserved something as bare minimum as a decent meal. You had been at a point where things like that weren’t always guaranteed. You knew what he meant to an extent.
“Well, as long as you’ll have me, then I think you can expect that.” You replied.
He set his cup off to the side, standing next to you to assist you in washing the dishes. He hummed thoughtfully.
“I might just take you up on that promise.” He responded jokingly.
You leaned your head on his shoulder, scrubbing your plate gently.
“Good. You deserve it.”
He felt overwhelmed with care and love. No one he had ever dated before had taken so much time and spent so much energy on making sure he was taken care of. He could take care of himself surely, but it was nice to let someone else willingly do it every once in a blue moon. He’d never not return the favor, he respected you far too much for that.
With the dishes clean and appetites satisfied, you had a clean slate for the rest of the weekend. You collectively agreed to lay low and forget about the raging world outside. Rafael knew one thing for sure.
He was one lucky guy.
#rafael barba#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba imagine#rafael barba x you#rafael barba x female reader#law and order svu#law and order fanfiction#law and order barba#detectivesvu
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this is us trying, Chapter 4 - The Surprise
In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit.
And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other.
But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.
Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021
notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts
Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10
Read on AO3
11. Voicemails/Calls
Ladybug called for her transformation right as the time on her phone hit 00:00. She took her bug phone and saw that Chat had left a voicemail for her.
Chat probably didn’t have a place in mind then, since it was such a last-minute decision, which was why he didn’t tell her anything about where to meet up, but only to transform between 12 and 3. Ladybug being eager as she was, transformed at the earliest time possible.
“Hi Buguinette! I’m so sorry for disrupting your beauty sleep by requesting a meetup at this ungodly hour, but I promise it’ll be worth your time. Let’s meet up at Parc Montsouris. Specifically at La Petite Ceinture at 3! I’ve a surprise for you!”
Ladybug couldn’t contain her excitement any longer and she didn’t want to wait till 3 to meet him. She couldn’t. She was ready to go. She's been itching to see him ever since he asked for a meetup despite his busy schedule and she was going to make sure they spend every second of it together.
It was 00:02 when Ladybug called Chat. It was a few seconds later that she realised he might not even be transformed to take her call. But relief washed over her as she heard the line went through.
“Buguinette?”
“Chaton, can I meet up with you now instead?”
Some ruffling can be heard in the background. “Uhh…”
“Oh, I can’t?” She deflated.
“No! That’s not it! See, I’m actually still setting up the surprise… It’s, uh, more or less done but you can’t be too sure, right?”
Silence.
“Okay fine, I want to spend time with you too.” Ladybug silently cheered. “But could you do me a favour and not spoil the surprise for yourself? And also allow me to leave at 2:30 to make sure everything is in place before we meet up again at 3?”
“Well, with the amount of effort you’re putting into this, I’ll be disrespecting you if I go against your wishes.” She teased.
“Thank you.”
“Also Chaton?”
“Hmm?”
“Spending every second with you is worth it. Any time of the day, even at this ungodly hour, is something I look forward to and cherish. So don’t worry about it, alright?”
Despite not being able to see him, Ladybug knew that he was smiling.
“Of course, my lady.”
12. Blush
Chat couldn’t help but notice how his lady had her hands behind her back as she walked towards him. He tried to take a peek as she got closer.
“Ooo, did my lady bring me a present?” He winked.
“Yes, yes she did. In fact, it was made by yours truly.” She presented a rectangular gift wrapped neatly.
Chat’s widened eyes stared at the gift before travelling to her face.
“Don’t look so startled, you deserved it,” she giggled and pushed the gift into his hands.
He was now staring at the present in his hands with an open mouth, which Ladybug promptly brought her fingers under his chin to close it.
“If you don’t close your mouth, flies will make it their home,” she chuckled.
She stopped when she was suddenly tugged into his embrace. “Thank you, my lady. So so much.”
“You’re welcome, Chaton.” She patted his back a few times. “I wouldn’t oppose it if you want to open it now.”
He pulled back and his face lit up as she smiled back. Letting her go, he carefully began to tear the gift. He really wanted to just rip open the present like a child who had just been teased about their birthday present, but couldn’t as he still had sharp claws. He couldn’t risk tearing whatever his lady had made for him. That’s just wrong.
When he finally managed to remove the wrapping, an exquisite blue scarf sat in his hands.
“It’s getting cooler, and since I learnt about your favourite colour a while back, this seems to be the most suitable item I can make for you.” She grinned.
She was once again pulled into a bear hug. “It’s perfect, my lady. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.” He tightened his hold on her.
“I’m glad you like it!” She returned the hug, and soon after, bounced slightly to lighten the mood. “Put it on! I wanna see!”
He did as his lady wished, and wrapped the scarf around his neck.
“Aww, you look adorable!”
He blushed.
She took his hands and strolled towards the lake. “Let’s go over there and enjoy the view.”
They sat by the lake and Chat snaked his arms around her waist to bring her closer to him. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. “Wow, you can see the moon reflected on the water.”
“There are swans too, Buguinette. On your right.”
She turned and there were indeed a pair of swans floating peacefully on the surface of the water, minding their own business.
They sat in silence before Ladybug’s breathing evened out. Chat realised she had dozed off and took out his baton to set an alarm for 2:30, before cautiously lying down, careful to not wake her up. He made sure they were snuggling before he closed his eyes.
.
Ladybug felt someone shaking her shoulders before she opened her eyes.
She saw Chat’s chest before lifting her eyes to his grinning face.
“Wakey wakey, Buguinette. It’s 2:30 and I’ve got to set up your surprise!”
“Oh, right,” she rubbed her eyes before she removed her hands from his waist and sat up. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you. And I said I wanted to spend time with you, hah.”
“Well, I don’t mind it. We slept together,” he wiggled his brows. “Besides, this is the best I’ve slept in a while.”
She blushed. “Alright, you alley cat, get going. I’ll wait for you here,” she pushed his shoulders.
He rolled over and laughed, before taking her hands and placing a kiss at the back of her hand. “I’ll be back.”
She saw his figure grow smaller and smaller before he jumped away. She directed her gaze back to the lake and then to the swans.
They looked so untroubled by her blatantly staring and invading their private moment together. She knew that she’s attributing human behaviour to the swans; they could be fighting for all she knew, but she couldn’t stop her mind from pondering further.
Maybe it was her being alone. Maybe it was her being awake at this time without doing anything and allowing her thoughts to roam. Or maybe it was her subconscious mind. But she couldn’t help but yearn for the days where she and Chat would be able to have dates out in the open, masks off, minding their own business in their mini-world, just like the swans.
She wasn’t angry at him. She’d never fault him for what he had done. How could she? She saw how the final battle wrecked him, how he was changed afterwards. And how he still made the constant effort to repair the damages his decisions had done to their relationship, trying his best to slowly but surely return to his former self before the final battle.
He made the effort. He could’ve just disappeared from her life, shut her out completely after the final battle, but he didn’t. He promised her dates and he delivered. Without the overbearing burden to defeat Shadowmoth, the time they spent together were ones she genuinely enjoyed. Even if it didn’t work out well sometimes.
He promised he’d tell her when the time is right, when he’s ready. But that takes time. So much time. And she doesn’t like that she can’t fix the issue when she doesn’t even know what it is, to begin with. She doesn’t want her kitty to suffer alone, but he’s not letting her in. And all she could do was to wait patiently for him.
But she’s happy. She’s happy that they’ve made progress, even if it felt like going back to square one. Back to where they once were before the final battle. After all, it was the journey that counts. They are still young with many years ahead of them. She can make this work.
“My lady?”
“Chaton!” She was happy to see him so soon. Pondering sure does make time fly.
He kneeled down and cupped her cheeks. “What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
His thumbs wiped her cheeks and that was all she needed to know what’s wrong.
Her tears were flowing. “Oh dear.”
Chat removed his hands from her face and sat down next to her. He pulled her onto his lap and continued wiping her tears.
“Are you okay, my lady?”
“Yeah, you know me!” She smiled to give him extra assurance. “My mind tends to wander a lot. I’m just being weird, don’t mind me.”
He wasn’t convinced. “You’re not weird, tell me what’s wrong?”
She closed her eyes and exhaled. She knew she needed to be honest, else he wouldn't budge.
Ladybug took his face in her hands and focused her attention on him. “I need you to understand this. Very clearly. That you are not in the wrong. The feelings that led you to your decisions are valid. I’m just overthinking.”
He nodded, and she took a deep breath in.
“Do you see the swans?” He turned to see the swans floating heedlessly on the surface of the lake. “They look lovely, don’t they? I just can’t help but think that that could be us.”
Chat’s heart wrenched when he heard that. His lady can deny all she wants but he knew that he had already and was the one to directly inflicted emotional hurt on her. The severity of his actions didn’t register to him till that moment. He wanted to cry.
“I’m so—”
“Don't you dare.”
He raised his hands to surrender.
“We’re still together, aren't we?” She smiled.
“Yes. Yes, we are.” He pulled her in to kiss her forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you think you’re ready for your surprise?” He stood up and held his hand to her.
She took his hand and was up to her feet within seconds. “Lead the way, mon Chaton.”
13. Affection
The walk led by Chat was a short one, but he held her hand in his all the way through. She squeezed lightly to let him know that she was grateful for his gesture.
When they arrived at the edge of La Petite Ceinture, there was a drop-down before they reached the railway, where her surprise was. The railway that was filled with luscious green in the daytime now looked blumine in the moonlight. It wasn’t total darkness as the radiance from the full moon provided enough visibility, but an orange glow from a few metres away caught her attention.
She saw a mat neatly spread out over the green, with four round candles romantically lit up at the corners to hold the fabric down. At the centre, there were two pillows and a few roses surrounding them. The grass patches around the mat were also scattered with roses.
Ladybug still had her hand in Chat’s, but she was so overwhelmed by the splendour of the place that she wasn’t aware she had let go of his hand and moved forward. Chat took this chance to pick up a rose from the mat and sniffed it.
“This place is enchanting, Chaton!”
She turned to him to see a rose presented to her. “For you, my lady.”
“Aww, thanks mon Chaton!” She took the rose and held it close to her heart, eyes sparkling. “The surprise is lovely, the setup and place chosen, it’s miraculous!”
“Like yourself.”
She scratched his chin. “Flatterer.”
He smiled cheekily. “But my lady, I haven’t given you your surprise yet.”
“Huh?”
He held both her hands in his and leaned his forehead against hers. “Close your eyes.”
She looked unsure for a moment before she closed them.
Chat inhaled deeply and squeezed her hands. “De-transformation.”
Ladybug went still.
“Y-You can open your eyes now.”
Ladybug still wasn’t moving.
His thumbs rubbed the back of her hands. “My lady?”
“This really is one hell of a surprise.”
He barked out a laugh. “Buguinette, wasn’t this what you wanted?”
“It is! It is! Trust me, it is!” She squeezed his hands and leaned forward. “But you dropped it on me out of nowhere! I wasn’t prepared at all!”
“It’s called a surprise for a reason.” He winked, but she couldn’t see because she still had her eyes closed.
She bit her lower lip. “Are you sure? I love the surprise, but are you really sure you’re okay with this?”
“I think it’s about time.”
The air was quiet and peaceful around them.
“Okay,” she tightened her hold on his hands. “Then close your eyes too. We do this together, like always.”
Chat shut his eyes. “Okay, they are closed.”
“De-transformation.”
It was his turn to stiffened as he witnessed the pink flash through his closed eyes.
“Okay, we open our eyes on the count of three.”
Chat immediately started counting. “One.”
“T-Two.”
“Three,” they echoed together.
Silence.
“My lady, have you opened your eyes yet?”
She passed the rose to her other hand. “No. Have you?”
“No,” he let out a sheepish laugh. “Gosh, now I understand why it’s so hard for you to open your eyes.”
“See!” She exclaimed.
“Okay, okay. For real this time?” He asked. “We open them when I say ‘open’?”
“Okay.”
They both took deep breaths and squeezed their hands in preparation.
“Here goes,” Chat prepped. “Open.”
And both their eyes fluttered open.
For Chat, the face of the lady in front of him was someone he didn’t know. Much like her superhero ego, she has hair as dark as the night but those pupils encased within her pretty bluebell eyes were enlarged. The cute freckles that he’d always seen covered were now on full display, sprinkled across her cheeks like stars in the night sky. Her nose, as cute as a button and her cheeks were dusted with a rosy pink colour that made her look so vibrant. Her lips, though not tinted with lip gloss, still looked so damn kissable. This is the face of his lady. And he found himself falling even harder for her now that the biggest veil of secrecy had been lifted.
For Ladybug, the face of the gentleman in front of her was someone she recognised. It’s hard to miss when his face is plastered all across Paris. And much like his superhero ego, he has hair as bright as the sun and those gorgeous green eyes. The only difference was that his hair is shorter and tamer than usual, and his cat slit eyes are now human, possibly dilated as well, with the amount of affection he was looking at her with. His nose, as sharp as it is under that mask and his cheeks looked so cute covered in that pink hue. His warm smile was calling out to her for a kiss and she found it increasingly hard to resist. This is the face of her chat. And now that the biggest wall of secrecy was removed, she found herself understanding the reasons for his decisions that day.
“Chaton. A-A-Adrien?” He nodded, still smiling and thumbs rubbing the back of her hands. Her heart was about to burst from all that he’s doing to her. “T-Thank you for the mind-blowing surprise, it’d be one that I’ll fully treasure for years to come. And now that I know who you are under that mask, I think I get why you did what you did. But I’m sure it’s not the full picture, so I’ll wait for you to tell me everything one day.”
Adrien was absolutely smitten with her. “Thank you, my lady.”
“Marinette. My name’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”
“Marinette.” He voiced with a face full of awe.
She smiled fondly at him. He looked every bit as handsome as he is on billboards. He wasn’t a model for nothing. “You’re okay with me just being... me?”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Marinette.” He tugged a loose strand of hair, which he just noticed were untied, behind her ears and cupped her cheeks, slowly caressing them. “The courage you managed to bring forth on our first day as superheroes despite being scared of messing up was what captivated me in the first place. As I got to know you more, your heart of gold had me enamoured. And now, I get to see you in all that you are. You’re everything and more than I could ever ask for.”
She grabbed his wrists. His declarations of love filled her heart to the brim, eyes almost leaking tears of joy. “I couldn’t have done it without you encouraging me that day, you know? I couldn’t have done all of these without you. You’ve been my rock since day one, and you’re so brave and kind and caring to everyone. And being a supermodel doesn’t change any of that.” She chuckled. “Not to mention, you’re a huge dork too, Adrien. I’m so glad to be one of the lucky few to know this about you.”
Her eyes wandered down to his lips, lingering for a moment before they were back at his eyes. She closed her eyes and took a step forward. “And I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall in love with you even more, Chaton.”
“You’re the only one, my lady,” adoration clear in his voice. He could hear the pounding in his chest increased as she declared her love for him, and it beat even faster as he leaned in and he closed his eyes. “And I didn’t think it was possible for me either.”
She could feel his light breathe on her lips as he uttered those words, but nothing else happened afterwards. He has always been a gentleman, respecting her boundaries and checking that she was absolutely sure before making a move.
Even now, when he's given access to the vulnerability she hasn't shown anyone, he's still waiting. Marinette's heart fluttered at this gesture. She knew how much he wanted to kiss her, and denying him would do them both no good.
So she moved. Her hands released their hold on his wrists and rounded themselves around his neck, pulling him in. Telling him that it's okay, that she wanted this as well.
And with that, the space between them soon disappeared, their lips finally touching, pressed firmly together.
#ladynoirjuly2021#ladynoirjuly#ladynoir#mesfics#miraculous ladybug#fanfic#mlb fanfic#ladybug#chat noir#alternate universe#light angst#fluff#hurt/comfort#this is us trying
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Mysteries of the heart
Mirio x Fem!reader
Rating: Explicit/smut
A/N this is a sever collab with the Citrus dome sever for masquerade collab
For the rest of the masquerade collab can be found here
Mirio X FemReader
It was warm for a summer day, the leaves flowing with the wind like nature's dancing. You've always loved summer since growing up with your grandparents by the water, but that was long ago.
Looking out the cafeteria window you spot your long time crush. Mirio Togata, he was bright, humorous and devilishly handsome.
Sighing as you turn away from him hoping he'd notice you even though he was a known flirt, not that you seemed to mind. Even if he had that side to him, his kindness, compassion, and smile was what always drew you to his wonderful baby blue eyes.
You know that no matter how much it made your heart sweep whenever you saw him. You felt the distance between the two of you, he had a powerful quirk, while you only were the brain in your class. Knowing this.. when he ever-
“Good morning (Y/n), are you having a good day?” A boisterous voice said, you turned seeing a face through a wall, making you jump.
“Ah! My goodness.. don’t scare me like that Togata!” You flushed, as you managed to compose yourself.
“Oh-ho.. sorry.” Mirio said, as he reverted back into the wall. Then minutes later you see Mirio and Tamaki with Nejire in tow.
"Oh my gosh" Nejire exclaimed and rushed to you, "did you trim some of your hair?" she questioned as the boys took their seats. Feeling flustered by the sudden attention from your best friend's actions.
Nervously you glanced away from them in hoping all the attention would go away, thankful Tamaki softly spoke up. "Nejire give Y/N some space to breathe" he suggests. Playing with your strand of hair you stuttered
"I-I-I- thought it would be good to change it once and while."
Satisfied with your answer, they went back to talking amongst themselves leaving you to your thoughts. Later in the day you were walking home, till you heard an all too familiar voice behind you.
Turning around you saw Mirio running towards you to catch up. "Mirio?!" He finally stopped in front of you with his classic boyish smile "hiya do you mind if I walk you home?" He questioned as the sun was getting lower and turning into dusk.
"Sure Mirio" a gentle smile formed on your lips, you may seem calm on the outside but inside you were internally screaming. He was so close to touch and yet you were so nervous that you didn't want to ruin your friendship with him.
Finally you found yourself at your doorstep after a nice walk with Mirio "Thank you Mirio for walking me home" as you gave a slight bow towards him. A giggle was heard in front of you. Mirio spoke with his cheerful voice "it's not a problem, I can't have a pretty lady walk home at night. Right?"
"Haha definitely Mirio." You laughed at his playful joke. As the still night air blows its chilled air you shutter, “Well I should head inside.. thank you again Mirio.” You gave him a slight smile, before grabbing the handle, you hesitated to turn the knob.
You know this was your one chance to say how you felt. "Mirio I.."
But as you turned around to look at Mirio but he was already outta ear shot.
The look of yearning was showing as you watched Mirio walk away, you breathed out a sigh as you turned to walk into your home. "Why must I chicken out", suddenly you heard thumping noises running down the stairs.
A black and white blur ran straight towards you. "Iggy!" You shouted as he tackled you to the ground, licking your face. You couldn't help but to laugh at his personality. Thankfully Iggy always knows how to cheer me up, "You are so smart, yes you are Iggy" Iggy barked and jumped around as the praise.
Looking to your right on the ground, there was a white Victorian era letter with my name written in calligraphy. It was embossed with gold of the era of the year the school was founded.
In awe you picked up the letter, flipping and seeing the wax stamp of the school emblem. You jumped and gave a little squeal as you finally got invited to the UA mysterious ball.
Being curious you carefully opened the envelope which reveals a letter with gold and silver filigree borders. Giving the letter a beautiful light shimmer that captured the eyes.
Reading it says.
"To whom this may concern: Y/N L/N"
"We are pleased to announce that you are invited to the 79th annual UA masquerade ball.
Masquerade attire is required!
Day: XXXX
Time: 8:00 PM
Location: XXXXX"
Slightly turning to look at the time it was 6:30pm, you felt your stomach sank at the sight of the clock, as you only have one hour and 30 minutes till the ball.
Quickly standing up you rush to your room with Iggy on your heels, looking through your closet for any party dresses. At a loss on what to wear then Iggy tugs on your skirt. "Iggy don't pull on it!" You exclaimed.
Iggy runs around in a circle then points towards out of your door, finally deciding to see what made him so anxious you follow him out of your room. You were suspicious as to where he was leading you, till you both stood at the entrance of the attic.
Stepping into the room it was dark and barely any light, so using your phone as a light source. Looking around you spot a few spider webs and old boxes but looking further you see a trunk.
"What a trunk doing up here?" You questioned, you brushed your fingers along the rough edge of the trunk, taking a deep breath you opened the trunk to reveal a beautiful silver mask and red gems with decorative feathers.
Putting the mask on the ground beside you, your attention returned to the trunk and your eye caught silk-like fabric with small diamond gemstones across the waist. Picking it up it revealed to be a beautiful black and red dress with a shoulder strap, in awe you ran back downstairs with the mask and dress in tow to get a better look at it.
"W-wow, it's beautiful!" Now in the light you could see the simple yet elegant design of the dress and mask, the diamond gems lightly sparkled as the sunlight hit the gems.
Donning the dress it perfectly shaped your body, then finally putting on the mask you completed the masquerade look. Taking a deep breath you felt you were ready for anything, walking out the door with newfound confidence it was time to go to the event.
It was dark out as you arrived at the manor. Stepping out to see a huge beautiful gothic architecture, walking up the stairs there were two lion statues at the top of the stairs with their mouths agape. Once inside candles lit the rooms full with people.
Stepping into the bigger room, you could feel eyes were upon you. As you slowly descend the staircase you could hear the faint whispering of different voices saying "Who's that girl?" and "She looks gorgeous."
The sound of music was heard as couples were dancing beautifully. Crystalline chandelier was shining bright as the candles illuminated the room, along the walls were stained glass windows with different designs, one in particular stood from the rest.
A painting of a woman and a man dancing together, the look of passion in their eyes as they stared at each other.
Watching the people from a distance, you gaze around the room spotting some people you know they all looked elegant with their masquerade attire, they glowed with excitement and were talking amongst themselves.
You noticed that Mirio wasn't in the group, so you continued to scanned the room. You glance at the dance floor and you spot a young gentleman dancing with a girl you cannot place. He had a loose messy slicked back except for a few strands of hair on his forehead and a black and red mask along with black and faint red suit.
As the song recedes you got up the nerve to ask him to dance,you flowed ever so lightly across the dance floor to come up behind him. You stand there quietly as he spins around to see you. His eyes opened in awe as he saw you for the first time.
He steps back and graciously holds his hand out to you and asks, "May I have this dance?" Your pulse quickens as you gently take his hand and he leads you way through the crowd.
The young gentleman suddenly stops and turns to face you, his right hand rests on your waist and his left holding your right hand. You both begin to move to the music, his blue eyes never leaving your E/C.
"You're a wonderful dancer" he chuckles then twirls you around. Shaking your head you smiled. You wanted to say something but then you decided against it, thinking it would be more fun to let him do the chasing for once. Once the music ended, you slipped out of his grasp teasingly and walked away from him.
You felt his eyes still on you as you walked away, slightly swaying your hips. Mirio was mesmerised, he knew he couldn't let this gorgeous woman walk away from him without knowing her name.
Walking out through the window doors your eyes spotted a beautiful garden, and a cobblestone walkway leading to a dimly lit gazebo with vines growing along the wooden railing and pillars.
You feel as if this place is magical but you were unable to describe the feeling, walking up the stairs of the gazebo looking at the bright moon you sighed in wondering if Mirio would return your feelings.
Not even a moment later you heard footsteps on the wooden gazebo floor, slowly you turned around to see Mirio
Rubbing the back of his neck. "I was wondering where you went. To tell you the truth you're a difficult person to find." He gave a smile that you loved which made your heart race, you chuckled softly "Well you found me" you winked at him then took a step forward closer to him.
Mirio could feel his heart race as the mystery woman put a hand on his chest then lean closer to his ear then whispered "come catch me." Then she rushed from the gazebo laughing, tempting him to follow in the moonlight.
Seeing a weeping willow tree, giggling you walked through the long leaves of the tree knowing that he would be on your tail. As he got near your hiding place he asked "where did my mystery lady go?!" You couldn't help but giggle at his playfulness but then you both were face to face.
You were surprised to see him sticking his head into where you were hiding, he pulled your body into an embrace close enough to feel his breath against yours. Slowly he cupped your face, connecting your lips into a passionate kiss his lips drifted down your neck.
His hands explored your body which caused you to moan out his name, surprised he looked at you and wondered how you knew his name "how did you know?" he asked while finally taking off his mask revealing his handsome face.
"B-because I like you" you knew your face was red at that moment, your hands reached the edge of the mask, revealing who you are. Mirio couldn't help but be surprised by your identity "Y/N?." Nervously you blushed but his lips found yours again, You moan into his lips as his tongue presses into your mouth, filling you. He moves his hips against you, and you feel his massive bulge rub against your crotch. You whimper into the kiss, and he slides a hand around you to unzip your dress.
The dress falls down onto the ground, leaving you just in your panties, Mirio felt blood rush down to his member as it hardened at the sight of you. Using his quirk his clothes fell easy through his body.
Moving his body forward on it's own, his mouth kisses down your body till he reaches your breasts, you give a moan as he rubs your crotch over your panties, pressing his palm into the sweet spot just above your clit, You gasp as he starts focusing on making you so wet that his cock slides in effortlessly.
Your hips buck into his hands as you tangle your fingers in the short, blonde hair at the nape of his neck. You tug slightly, he happily switches to your other nipple, nibbling gently as he adds more pressure to your clit. You let yourself moan freely to encourage him as he focuses on making you feel good.
He quickly removes your painties then he slides a thick finger into your wet pussy. You arch your body into his face. He starts fingering you slowly, you needed more, you needed him. "Mirio please, fuck me with your hard cock" you moaned, you felt him smirk into your breast, then he lets go of your breast with a wet pop and looks at your red face.
"Such a good girl, for using your manners." His voice was deep and full of lust, aligning his cock to your entrance he easily slipped in. Slowly he pulls out then quickly pushes in leaving you no time to adjust to his size, as you opened your mouth to moan you felt his tongue and yours fighting for dominance and he lifts your leg to thrust harder.
With one hard thrust your pussy clenched down on his member as you came, not long after he came after you, you felt his warm seed in you as he pulled out, still in his arms as you both were coming down from your highs, Mirio looks at you with loving eyes then speaks up to say "I like you too Y/N."
FIN.
Taglist: @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @cherrycolabomb @saint-eridell @katsontherun @present-mel @knifeewifee @thewheezingwyvern
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I posted 328 times in 2021
8 posts created (2%)
320 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 40.0 posts.
I added 110 tags in 2021
#art - 47 posts
#monster boyfriend - 11 posts
#werewolf - 9 posts
#ruth - 9 posts
#the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo - 7 posts
#heart pangs - 6 posts
#tgawlocg - 6 posts
#drag race uk - 5 posts
#mcu - 5 posts
#digital art - 5 posts
Longest Tag: 56 characters
#aaaaahhh it's been a while since i posted a poem on here
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I can not hold the universe in my hands
But every time we become the eclipse, I try.
I try
I try
I try
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners
Speaking in tounges nightly
Whispering my name in her sleep
Whispering soft like a prayer
Whispering so sweet like milk and honey
I can not hold the universe in my hands
But why should I try when her eyes are prettier than any galaxy
And her smile more luminous than the moon
I can not not hold the universe in my hands
But she can hold me
1 notes • Posted 2021-03-24 01:34:17 GMT
#4
Come join the server just in time for the finale of All Stars 6, we've got channels for each international series as well!!!
2 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 17:34:46 GMT
#3
Aesthetic board based off the latest A Rose By Any Other Name by @maurice-dlt
9 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 00:51:50 GMT
#2
Hi it was international asexuality day yesterday, so I decided to draw some fan art of one of my favorite ace characters, Benji Marotta from @mmmleckerlecker 's Heart Pangs! 🖤🤍💜
11 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 15:19:44 GMT
#1
What if Cecil Broke the Rules?
Content warning: blood, knife play, restraints, implied drugging, kidnapping, held hostage, non con kissing, non con clothing removal, intimate abuse
Heart Pangs and it's characters are original creations by @mmmleckerlecker
"Wakey wakey, my little doll" a voice whispers as it's owner gently strokes her cheek.
With heavy lids Camille's eyes flutter open. She blinks them into focus and the devilish grin from her nightmares greet her. Around Cecil is a windowless bedroom. Instantly she sits up, or rather she attempts too. Woven straps that are tight against her wrists hold her against a bed frame. Camille begins to thrash and finds that her legs are also restrained.
"What the fuck is going on?" Camille's voice cracks slightly as she speaks, "Lux consumed me. I was suppose to be disposed of."
"I was never good at sharing my toys," Cecil says as he sits next to her on the bed.
Camille shuts her eyes tight and furiously shakes her head.
"No, no, no this can't be real. Please let me wake up," she says to herself.
A hand cuts through the air, makes contact with her cheek, and leaves behind a stinging imprint. Camille yelps at the sudden pain.
"Oh what a sweet noise. Was that real enough for you, doll? I can always try again if you need more convincing," Cecil says.
"Why?" she mutters, "Why am I here? HOW am I here?"
"The Facility may be done with you, but I'm not. Truly I'm surprised you weren't skeptical of your last meal. You devoured it all so quickly. I bet you didn't even notice that the water tasted funny. After I 'disposed' of you, the meds would've kicked in, lowering your heart beat do it was undetectable, and we could've gone straight home. But Lux just had to get in the way. So I took care of him."
All the color drains from Camille's face.
Horror stricken she asks, "Felix...is dead?"
Cecil barks a laugh and shrugs.
"Maybe, maybe not. I didn't stick around long enough to find out. I could barely get you down, still covered in /him/. I needed to get you clean as soon as I can."
"Did you..." Camille starts.
"No," Cecil quickly interrupts, "Didn't want to risk losing control. So I bought a contracted prey, a former nurse. She got you all clean and patched up for me. Don't worry, I'll be keeping her around for a while, incase I get too eager with you."
"I don't anticipate being here long. Someone is gonna have to be coming for you after they check the footage."
"You really think I didn't consider that. I cleared the footage from your cell and I told Bakula that you cut your way out of Lux. Of course he was more than happy to hear that I took your disposal into my own hands. So you're all mine sweet thing."
To make his point, Cecil digs his finger into her abdomen and drags it all the way up to her neck. His fingers curl around her like a hungry snake and begin to flex and contract around her windpipe. He lowers his mouth to hers and dips his tongue in between her teeth. Defensively, Camille bites down on his bottom lip, drawing blood. Cecil recoils and looks at Camille with eyes blazing in a mix of anger and intrigue. With his thumb he wipes at the blood and sucks it clean.
"I knew you'd be fun to keep around," Cecil tells her, "But I can't be the only one who bleeds."
From his pocket he fishes out a knife, Camille's knife. He lifts up the waist of Camille shirt with the blade and rips through the cotton fabric, exposing her chest. For a second he holds the sharp tip below her jaw. Camille holds her breath as she waits for his next move. When he lowers it from her neck she exhales. Between his fingers, her captor twirls the object that once was a reminder of her safety. Then he takes the knife and carves "CS" above her left breast. Camille grits her teeth as it happens, denying Cecil the satisfaction of hearing her pain. Beads of red begin to pearl from the open wound. Like a snake, Cecil flicks his tongue over his work. He groans into her flesh and grabs at her hips. He leans in close so his mouth hovers close to her ear.
To no avail, she twits and contorts in an effort to create distance between them.
"You're fucking demented," she snaps
"It's your fault that you're here, really. You taste better than any food, any drug, any prey that I've ever had. You just walk around tasting so sweet, it's like you want to be eaten. Like teasing me with how good you smell is just some game to you. Well you win. Do you want your prize?"
"I want to be let go."
"If you say so."
Cecil rises to his feet and stands by the restraints holding her feet. With a flourish Cecil cuts the straps. Before Camille can react, her feet are grabbed and quickly put into his mouth. Cecil swallows fast, not allowing any time for Camille to kick or pull away.
The mucles in his throat work put in the work as he swallows again, consuming her up to her knees, then her thighs. He pauses for a moment to appreciate the delicate spot he's near. A shiver vibrates through his body as he considers all the possibilities. In his mind he curses at himself for not cutting the fabric here as well. Through his nose he takes a deep breath and stretches his jaw wider in preparation of her hips. Her toes dip into his stomach. Just the sensation alone has Cecil tightly gripping the bedding as he quickens his pace, eager to get more of him in her. Unfortunately his excitement gets the best of him and before he knows is he's up to her shoulders.
All the while, Camille cries for help, for freedom, for Benji but not even an echo responds. She yells until Cecil's mouth muffles her, knowing she needs to ration her oxygen as she enters the hostile interior. Cecil slices the restraints holding her wrists and take the final few gulps.
Cecil enjoys the added weight as he relaxes into the mattress. Camille shifts and jabs at the tender spots inside him. It takes everything in Cecil’s might to not begin digestion. Instead he holds her in him until he feels her movement cease and he knows she's passed out. He releases her still form and attaches new restraints to her.
"Sleep tight my little doll, we'll play more later"
With that he turns and leaves the room. Behind him he locks all seven locks on the exterior of the door, and makes his way up a long and winding staircase. Cecil presses at the ceiling above him, opening up a hatch in his office. Once out, he locks the hatch and covers it with a rug and coffee table, leaving Camille's location hidden and secured.
13 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 18:36:20 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#The fact that 3 of my top posts are heart pangs related just makes sense
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Transiting Mars stations retrograde
Timeline (current events in bold)
Saturday, July 25, 2020, 14:10 UT - transiting Mars enters retrograde zone, 15:14 Aries
Wednesday, September 9, 2020, 22:22 UT - transiting Mars stations retrograde, 28:08 Aries
Saturday, November 14, 2020, 00:36 UT - transiting Mars stations direct, 15:14 Aries
Saturday, January 2, 2021, 19:10 UT - transiting Mars exits retrograde zone, 28:08 Aries
Ugh. Here we go. First, a refresher from Martin Bulgerin (www dot biopscinst dot com) regarding Mars retrograde:
During Mars retrograde periods, we get to experience how we sabotage our own actions, preventing us from achieving what we desire to do. The ability to express your will-power seems thwarted. The key here is to discover what is keeping you from effective action and changing it. This inner nemesis may be an over active temper, an impatience with planning when you can rush into activity, or simply a lack of awareness that causes you to ignore useful clues. This is not a good time to initiate new projects that require perseverence, nor is it easy to work with others during this cycle.
Ms M is grumbling over “what is keeping (her) from effective action and changing it” - she thinks it’s called, “a lack of funds.” However, a look at her own natal Mars placement - Aries/5th House - shows that she’s way, way too fond of having her own way all the time. She isn’t happy when people interrupt her progress from point A to point B; and she doesn’t like being delayed between those points, either. As Mars backtracks, she’s going to find plenty of opportunities to see how that attitude of “get outta my way NOW OR ELSE” is keeping her from doing what she wants to do (and from doing what she knows is right).
During the actual retrograde portion of a Retrograde Zone, we get clarification on issues - so expect some unpleasant realities which have to be bravely faced, some admitting that we were wrong, etc.
It seemed to me, writing this up, that there’s a definite beginning, middle, and end to the fun and games. September gets us off to a slow start - although it may not feel that way, given the nature of the aspects involved. October, the middle, is when the bulk of the “difficult” aspects happen. And with November we again seem to taper off, although (again) it may not feel that way.
(Under “Keep Reading” you’ll find all the aspects Mars is going to make. Not everybody wants to read, or understand, all that crap. For those who do....)
Monday, September 14, 06:28 UT - Juno/Libra opposes Mars Rx/Aries, 28:00
Second of three. This almost looks like a break-up to me. There’s definitely a lack of cooperation. If you only want your own way all the time, why should other people help you with that? There’s a Leo Moon involved, too, applying a trine to Mars and a sextile to Juno - people’s pride is involved, and although we may find an outlet in playfulness and drama, the story isn’t quite over yet. The third/final opposition doesn’t happen until mid-April 2021, with Mars/Gemini and Juno Rx/Sagittarius. That sounds like a break-up, too. Do keep some sense of the long-term.
Placements affected lie between 27:00 and 29:00 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 12:00 and 14:00 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Saturday, September 19, 21:55 UT - Sun/Virgo inconjunct Mars Rx/Aries, 27:24
If you have an impatient Mars, like mine, then this is the day you’re probably thinking “Okay, lesson learned, I’ll adjust, can I get on with it now please?” Nope.
Placements affected lie between 26:24 and 28:24 of all signs.
Thursday, September 24, 10:53 UT - Mercury/Libra opposite Mars Rx/Aries, 26:36
Less of a break-up than an argument. Mercury has just entered its own pre-retrograde shadow, when we get this far. Someone is definitely giving us something to mentally chew on, all right. It isn’t good to be a Libra pushover, but it isn’t good to be an Aries bully either. Where’s that happy medium?
Placements affected lie between 25:36 and 27:36 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 10:36 and 12:36 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Tuesday, September 29, 01:01 UT - Venus/Leo trine Mars Rx/Aries, 25:33
Very sexy energy all right - but note that Mars will also square Saturn on the same day! And Saturn has just stationed direct, too! Enjoy whatever this brings you, but don’t count on it lasting very long.
Placements affected lie between 24:33 and 26:33 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.
Tuesday, September 29, 21:50 UT - Saturn/Capricorn square Mars Rx/Aries, 25:20
Second of three. As I said, Saturn will have just stationed direct a mere 16+ hours before. (Interesting how many other planets’ Rx cycles are caught up with Mars’.) This is practically guaranteed to bring us some clarity about our Mars Rx situation, particularly as it relates to how we set ourselves up for failure by being hard-headed and impatient. Remember to keep life at those basic Maslow levels - food, water, shelter, warmth - for a while. (The third/final square happens in January 2021, when each planet will have moved on to the next sign, Mars to Taurus and Saturn to Aquarius.)
Placements affected lie between 24:20 and 26:20 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 9:20 and 11:20 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Sunday, October 4, 05:51 UT - Eris Rx/Aries conjunct Mars Rx/Aries, 24:07
Second of three. Being a human is so hard. Our society tells us “be nice” and then throws the most outrageously cruel bullshit at us. There is nothing wrong with being angry, as long as you’re directing it at the true culprits, and are using the anger to take constructive action. (The third/final conjunction happens on December 22, 2020.)
Placements affected lie between 23:07 and 25:07 of all signs; and between 8:07 and 10:07 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Tuesday, October 6, 00:57 UT - Vesta/Leo trine Mars Rx/Aries, 23:35;
Tuesday, October 6, 12:50 UT - North Node/Gemini sextile Mars Rx/Aries, South Node/Sagittarius trine Mars/Aries, 23:26
This looks like a nice opportunity to try and realign ourselves! The Moon will be in Gemini, too, applying toward that North Node. If we’re looking for a good cause, this is the perfect set up. Remember that with the North Node in Gemini we’re trying to be more Gemini-like. For Mars, that might translate into being more flexible, more clever, and just fighting smarter.
Placements affected lie between 22:26 and 24:35 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.
Friday, October 9, 07:37 UT - Venus 7:33 Virgo sesquare Mars Rx 22:33 Aries;
Friday, October 9, 13:09 UT - Pluto/Capricorn square Mars Rx/Aries, 22:29
If you’re in a solid relationship, this could translate into sexytime. Otherwise, well, expect in your relationships criticism masked as hostility, or hostility masked as criticism I guess. The Moon will not be helping matters out, as she’s in Cancer and making this into a temporary t-square - Moon/Cancer opposed Pluto/Cap, Mars/Aries squaring both ends - with Venus/Virgo nagging away. Not a good day for romance, at all. (The third/final Mars-Pluto square happens December 23. Why yes, that’s the day after the final Mars-Eris conjunction.)
Placements affected lie between 21:29 and 23:33 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 6:29 and 8:33 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Tuesday, October 13, 23:26 UT - Sun/Libra opposite Mars Rx/Aries, 21:05
This in a way is the whole crux of the matter. It’s the crisis point of the ongoing Sun-Mars relationship, beginning from their last conjunction (September 2, 2019, 9:44 Virgo). Mars is sometimes described as “the Sun’s right-hand man,” going out and actually achieving all the things the Sun plans. Perhaps today we’ll become aware of how far off track/task we’ve fallen. (This is also the day Mercury stations retrograde. As I heard at a meeting recently, “2020 - the gift that keeps on giving.”)
Placements affected lie between 20:05 and 22:05 of the signs Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius; and between 5:05 and 7:05 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Monday, October 19, 05:38 UT - Jupiter/Capricorn square Mars Rx/Aries, 19:26;
Monday, October 19, 07:03 UT - Venus/Virgo inconjunct Mars Rx/Aries, 19:25
Venus is really sticking her oar in to so many of these aspects! She tried to ease matters with Saturn, but she critiqued and nagged Pluto - and now she’s teaming up with Jupiter to let Mars know how fucked u[ he truly is. “Here, dude - this is how it’s done.” The square to Jupiter is the second of three for Mars, and as with the other three-peats, this second pass should give us a little clarity about the situation. If we’ve bitten off more than we can chew, this is the day we spit out the mess. (The third/final Mars-Jupiter square occurs on January 21, 2021, when Mars is in Taurus and Jupiter in Aquarius. And yes, that’s the day after the US Inauguration Day.)
Placements affected lie between 18:25 and 20:26 of all signs; and between 3:26 and 5:26 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Thursday, October 22, 09:10 UT - Neptune Rx/Pisces semi-sextile Mars Rx/Pisces, 18:32
The first semi-sextile brought news of a lawsuit to dissolve (Neptune!) the US National Rifle Association (Mars!), so I have very high hopes for this day. Otherwise, this can be a calming influence for Mars, perhaps reminding him of Mars/Pisces and learning how to fight by not fighting. Nonviolent resistance!
Placements affected lie between 17:32 and 19:32 of all signs.
Saturday, October 24, 04:35 UT - Pallas Athene/Capricorn square Mars Rx/Aries, 18:03
Second of three. This is like Captain Pallas Athene demonstrating to Private Mars all the myriad ways he’s screwed up. We can be strong, bold fighters, but if we’re stupid fighters there isn’t a lot of hope for us. Mars may finally clue in, under this influence. (The third/final square between Mars and Pallas Athene occurs on February 26, 2021, with Mars in Taurus and Pallas Athene in Aquarius.)
Placements affected lie between 17:03 and 19:03 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 2:03 and 4:03 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Wednesday, October 28, 00:07 UT - Vesta 2:08 Virgo sesquare Mars Rx 17:08 Aries
This may indicate some health issues - Mars being stamina and physique, Vesta/Virgo being health. A sesquare isn’t a major deal, but it can be serious enough to sideline us for a while. We may also be thinking wistfully (for Mars) about all the things we’d be able to do, if only we were healthier and stronger.
Placements affected lie between 16:08 and 18:08 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 1:08 and 3:08 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Friday, November 6, 03:40 UT - Juno/Scorpio inconjunct Mars Rx/Aries, 15:38;
Saturday, November 7, 11:41 UT - Sun/Scorpio inconjunct Mars Rx/Aries, 15:31
As a US citizen it’s impossible not to relate everything happening in November to our all-important presidential election. Regardless of who wins, the other side is going to be royally pissed off. Both sides are implacable. Ms M would like to point out that she herself wants nothing to do with racists - and racism is a key component of Dolt 45’s fan base. Well, that, and making billionaires even wealthier. As puzzled as she is by their deplorable behavior, she is aware that they can’t believe how stupid she is, either. This isn’t going to be easy, or fun.
Placements affected lie between 15:14 and 16:38 of all signs.
Monday, November 9, 16:08 UT - Venus/Libra opposite Mars Rx/Aries, 15:21
The final major aspect of Mars retrograde, with the two planets dignified and facing each other down. What we’re supposed to be doing with them, is balancing them out. We need to combine Aries passion with Libra harmony; Aries bravery with Libra diplomacy; Aries honesty with Libra tact.These aren’t two energies that you bring out, and lock up, as the mood strikes you - these co-exist every day, and it’s our job to learn to walk their tightrope.
Placements affected lie between 15:14 and 16:21 of the signs Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius; and between 0:14 and 1:21 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
Thursday, November 12, 00:30 UT - Ceres 0:16 Pisces semi-square Mars Rx 15:16 Aries
Second of three. Mars is pretty much motionless (Ms M got a 10 of Swords image right then) at this point, while Ceres is still in her post-Rx shadow for a few more weeks. All the lessons tie together - none of these energies operates in a vacuum, however much they would like to. This is either the point where we admit we need to act differently, and resolve the issues that were clarified for us - or we stay impaled on the ground. (The third/final semi-square happens on December 28.)
Placements affected lie between 15:14 and 16:16 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 0:14 and 1:16 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
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OC Ask Game
I was tagged by the amazing @illegalcerebral
I put a Keep Reading link because this is looong.
1) Name (and why you chose it if you like)
McKinley Campbell Durand. I named her after McKinley Morganfield, better known as Muddy Waters. However, the “in universe?” reason that will be given - which I haven’t written yet - is that McKinley and Campbell are family names from a few generations back.
Campbell comes from the Gaelic words for ‘crooked’ and ‘mouth.’ I just like the name. Here’s a post (that I had to rewrite because Tumblr’s a dick and wouldn’t let me edit the typos in the original. The rewrite had typos too! Blargh!) that discusses her first and last names. I thought it would be funny for her full name to consist solely of last names.
2) Fandom and how they fit into the story
Criminal Minds. She works at a D.C. museum practically around the corner from the J. Edgar Hoover building (as indicated in “Let It Bleed”). That’s a tiny hint that it’s the National Museum of African American History & Culture, but I don’t think I’ll mention it very often, if for no other reason than I’ve never been to the NMAAHC and don’t want to describe it inaccurately.
The official story is that Spencer and McKinley met at the museum (again, in “Let It Bleed,” which is probably the least favorite thing of mine that I’ve written). However, they’d met once before, and texted a few times after that. Because my brain is all over the place, and because I’m telling the story in non-chronological order, I haven’t written their first meeting yet. The only details I’ve revealed thus far are that it was nighttime in a park, McKinley caught Spencer off guard and made him fall to the ground, and whatever they talked about set Spencer straight and lifted his spirits. Also, a swingset was involved. Beyond that, I’ve inserted McKinley into the plotlines and events of the show, with necessary alterations, and there’s a ton of domestic Spencer and off-duty team stuffs.
3) Do they have any family?
Biological family: daughter Sophie and son Jason; her Mom (no name yet); maternal grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins; and her estranged father (no name yet). Chosen/found family: husband Spencer; the BAU.
4) As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up?
When she was a toddler, McKinley wanted to be a pediatrician (a doctor just for kids?! Cool!) or an ophthalmologist (she’s worn glasses practically her whole life). As an older child she aspired to be an entomologist or herpetologist. In her teenage years she considered a career in forensic pathology or criminal psychology. While earning her BA in English, she discovered that Public History was her true calling.
5) Their greatest dream
To be a good Mom. To inspire learning in others.
6) Their worst nightmare
Losing her family; having to see her father again.
7) Strengths
Empathy, insight/self awareness, forgiving nature but knowing when to cut her losses
8) Weaknesses
McKinley struggles with imposter syndrome.
She can be very mean. I mean, downright nasty cruel, verbally. This is rare though because, and I’m paraphrasing a future bit of dialogue here, anyone whose behavior could arguably warrant such a response is beneath her notice and not worth the effort. She’s more likely to close the door on someone. When she’s removed a person from her life, she is done. They become literally nothing to her. McKinley will rightly claim that this is about self-preservation and boundaries, but she really takes it to the next level.
9) What would they chose between: morning and night, sweet and savoury, beaches or meadows, cities or countryside, winter or summer, Christmas or Halloween (sorry, Spencer!), movies or TV shows, action or rom-com, clowns or vampires, stars or the moon (both!), cocktails or pints [Neither. McKinley doesn’t care for cocktails or beer. Scotch, brandy, rum, and dry wines are her poisons. She’s been known to add Kahlúah to vanilla ice cream, Baileys Irish Cream to coffee (she wants to try Drambuie next), or make hot toddies when she has a cold (obviously not mixing any alcohol with any medicine)]
10) How do they relax?
Reading, or having Spencer read to her; knitting; listening to her records or playing her guitar; exercising with Boogie so she’s exhausted enough to sleep that night; baking and cooking
11) What makes them angry?
Injustice, apathy/indifference, ableism, willful ignorance
12) What makes them afraid?
The awful things she’d possibly do under duress; her family getting hurt or worse; spiders and other bugs that bite and/or sting
13) What is a moment from their childhood that has shaped who they are?
It’s not a single event, but growing up with an abusive parent has certainly had a lifelong impact on McKinley. You’ve heard the expression “once bitten, twice shy?” She’s “once bitten, there’s no twice because you no longer exist.” She’s working on that. It’s also cultivated empathy, though, and is part of the reason she volunteers in the hospital’s rehab wing.
14) Do they have a sense of humour?
Intellectual humor, pop culture references, puns/Dad jokes, science jokes. Sometimes morbid.
15) What do they value in their friends/loved ones?
Honesty and empathy
16) Do they have any pets?
An Aussie Collie/Border Aussie named Boogie-Woogie. He’s her first child.
17) Worst memory?
Probably the day Meadows shot her and she thought she’d never see Spencer and Penny again.
18) Best memory?
The days Sophie and Jason were born. Minus, y’know, the agonizing pain of labor and delivery.
19) Do they have any tattoos? (If no would they get one?)
Nope and nope
20) If you could write them into another fandom, which one would you choose?
If I knew the MCU better, I’d love to write her in as a Stark Tower employee! She’d be an anthropologist and would study alien societies the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. have encountered. She’d naturally be drawn to Loki, initially in a professional capacity (they quickly discover they relate to each other on a personal level as well).
He’d first find her annoying: “Why are you pestering me, Mortal? Surely you’d rather interview my oaf of a brother?”
“No, not even remotely. He only ever wants to discuss battles he’s won. There’s so much more to Asgard and the other realms than that. I want - I need - to learn your literature, your science, your culture and history. You’re well versed in all of these subjects and you’re an excellent teacher.”
He stares at her impassively over his mug of tea, but his heart - that Judas of an organ - flutters slightly at the compliment. And how can he say no to a fellow scholar?
“I prefer your company to Thor’s too. You have this calming presence. Thor’s sweet but he’s also obnoxiously loud and brash and he always hugs me even though I keep telling him I don’t like it. And he’s constantly swinging his hammer around, which makes me think he’s overcompensating for something.”
Loki nearly chokes on his tea. Yes, this mortal is considerably more tolerable than others.
“Very well. Friday evenings at 6:00, my chambers. Arrive late and suffer my wrath.”
From that day forward, whenever Thor tries to hug her, he gets mildly electrocuted.
Did I accidentally sorta kinda write a drabble? Would anyone be interested in making this a collab? That’s what they’re called, right? (Can you tell I’ve given this some thought? Haha! I have even more details in my head.)
21) Do they like their job? (What else would they do if they could?)
She loves it! Hmmm, what else…? A librarian maybe. Or animate and produce an educational cartoon series.
22) What is their sexuality?
Demisexual
23) Do they believe in love at first sight? Soulmates? One true love?
McKinley believes in “seeing the potential for a good relationship at first conversation.”
Yes, although she feels that term has become overused and poorly redefined.
People can find love again after it’s been lost.
24) What music do they listen to? Has that changed over time?
I actually recently answered an ask about this. Yes, she grew up on what passed for country in the ‘90s. God help her, she had a boyband phase in junior high.
25) Can they cook? What food do they love?
McKinley does pretty well in the kitchen. She loves a wide variety of food. She grew up in the south, so tons of carbs/comfort foods. She loves Thai, Japanese, and Indian food. She cooks up Middle Earth-inspired dishes (ha! nerd). She’s especially proud of a seed cake she bakes.
26) What are their hopes for the future?
For her family to be healthy, safe and happy. To be debt free.
27) How do they react to being threatened?
It’s a coin flip. McKinley might curl up like an armadillo and hope the predator gets bored and leaves, or she might kick the stool out from under them and cause their chin to slam into the bar and crack several teeth.
28) What is their love language?
McKinley and Spencer both exhibit the Acts of Service love language, because just saying “I love you” isn’t enough. You ought to show it. She’ll randomly bake doughnuts for Spencer or play guitar for him in bed, and he’ll take care of laundry, dishes, and any other chores he sees need doing.
Quality Time is important for them too. Once a month, Luke and Penny babysit so Spencer and McKinley have a day alone together. It doesn’t really matter what they do. The point is it’s just them.
It caught McKinley by surprise how much she enjoys physical affection, given that she can be touch averse but holy moly she was more touch starved than she realized. She lives for snuggles and makeout sessions and playing with each others’ hair. When one of them doesn’t want to be touched, they hook their pinkies together.
29) What do they find most challenging in relationships? At work? In general?
At work she struggles to gain her colleagues’ respect (think “Boy Genius” treatment except she has lady bits). In general, she struggles with trusting people.
30) What do you as a creator love best about writing this character?
Giving her everything I wish I had but don’t.
Bonus: Include a link to your favourite work with this OC or write a small drabble.
October 12, 2021
Warm sunlight filtered through the curtains, gently rousing Spencer from a pleasant sleep. Just when he’d decided to get up, he felt the mattress dip behind him and his wife’s breath fanning over his ear.
“Who’s the birthday boy?” whispered McKinley.
Spencer smiled softly but feigned being asleep.
“Who’s the birthdaaay boooy?” she repeated, bouncing slightly.
“The good-looking guy to your left?”
“Happy Birthday!” she laughed, pressing kisses along his neck, suddenly shifting the mood from playful to sexy.
“Would the birthday boy like his birthday present?” she asked as she lifted the covers.
“Well, look at that - it’s already unwrapped!”
#oc appreciation#writing games#Criminal Minds#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x oc#oh god it's 03:15 why am i still awake?#why do i do this to myself#sleepy time for Rubes now
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Shinhiro Aragaki Transulations from the Persona 3 Portable Fanbook
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Name: Shinjiro Aragaki
Sex: Male
Birthday: 1991/8/11 [This profile uses year/month/day format.]
Blood type: A
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Club: Unaffiliated
Ugh... Me? Having a blog? So lame... Still, everyone's doing it, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Dunno what's with the goofy title. I'm just gonna write whatever I want. So uh, maybe gimme some ideas for posts?
Well... Might as well pass the time while I'm here.
Anyway... enjoy?
Favorite Sites:
[banners]
A Dog's Heart
[in snail] Sea slug [to right] Umiushi
Family Cooking [white text, bottom right] Official Site
[large white text below blog page]
I'm keeping my eyes peeled.
Because there's an unimaginable way back...
[main body]
Aragaki, the lone wolf who sticks out like a sore thumb at nightly meetings, is from the same orphanage as Sanada. Three years ago, Aragaki was a member of the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad, where Sanada awakened the power of Persona within him. However, he wasn't able to fully control his powers. One day, a horrible accident occurred and a number of people were driven mad. Aragaki's Persona went berserk and snatched away the life of an innocent bystander. Despondent, Aragaki dropped out of school and began aimlessly roaming the streets at night. In order to restrain his Persona ability, whenever Aragaki is faced with danger, he takes a suppressant drug - although it has its side effects. Aragaki only returned to the SEES to bear his past deeds. Aragaki gave his life as a final apology to those tied to the past and unable to move forward, saying: "I'm the only one who deserves to rot in hell."
[at bottom:]
Shinjiro Aragaki
[left column]
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Like A Whole Nother World
Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad
2009/9/3 (Thu) 23:18
People are taking my return to the SEES really nicely... What the hell happened. Back when it was just me and Aki and Kirijo, the lounge felt way too big... But with all the new members, it's stuffed. Girls, a little kid, and even a dog... Some real variety in this lineup. Did Aki and Kirijo just get swept up in all that?
And on top of that, they're all treating me real good, even though they barely know me. The 2nd years think I bailed their asses out at the meeting place, when really I was just chasing off some pests. Either way, they're being real nice to me.
I don't bother with school or club activities or whatever, so I can focus all my energy on battle. Hit me up whenever you're heading off to Tartarus. I mean, that's why I came back here in the first place.
COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/9/4 (Fri) 01:23 JUN☆P-
Never gonna forget the hero at the meeting spot, dude. You totally bailed us out. With Aragaki-san on our side, we're like a hundred-man army!
2009/9/4 (Fri) 18:51 Yukaricchi♥
So you helped found the club, Aragaki-senpai... Thank you so much for saving us. I think you might actually be a really good guy, deep down...?
2009/9/4 (Fri) 21:00 Aigis
Koromaru-san reports that you often give him treats. It seems you two have become fast friends. Aragaki-san, you are rather reserved.
2009/9/4 (Fri) 23:06 Gaki
Oh come on, are you guys really kicking things off with a bunch of embarrassing comments? Hundred-man army, good guy... Don't just make stuff up about me. Ugh, I dunno how to deal with this.
[righthand column]
Boy's & Girl's Event
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Escapade
Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/6 (Sun) 21:55
Under the full moon, a Shadow appeared, as promised. I hang out at Escapade plenty, but this time everyone on the floor was complaining about the power being on the fritz. I guess that was an omen or something that a Shadow was about to appear. Can't let things like that slip you by.
But man, there were some real annoying tagalongs last night. Junpei thought he was gonna party his ass off, the poor guy. That chick from Strega was totally stringing him along, but Junpei still managed to be worried about her. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but pure-hearted guys like him are the ones that fall for that kind of thing.
But still, the chick's Persona was really something... Might be worth worrying about. I think I'll pop my head into the hospital too.
[screenshot:]
Junpei Iori
Hey, uh... I just wanna know one thing... Was that really all just an act?
COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/9/6 (Sun) 22:23 Yukaricchi♥
I mean, Junpei's so unsubtle about things like this... I bet he's going to visit at the hospital again today. Maybe if Junpei keeps talking to her, Chidori-san will start to open her heart... Or maybe I'm naive for even thinking that?
Boy's & Girl's Event
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Passing the Persona Torch
Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/15 (Tue) 22:36
Man, you guys are a real pain. Though I guess I can't be so quick to judge if Koro-chan hangs with you...
⬤ Questions From Persona Users ⬤
1. How did it feel when your Persona awakened?
I don't remember anything from back then...
2. What did you think when you saw your Persona?
Don't really care, that's just how he looks. He's Aki's Persona's brother. I mean, me and Aki go way back. You couldn't separate us even if you tried.
3. What's your favorite attacking strategy?
I'm not a big fan of whittling enemies down bit by bit. Better to give 'em one big hit and knock 'em dead, all in one go.
4. Any Shadows you have trouble with?
I don't got any weak points. I mean, if your Persona is weak, that just means your heart is weak.
5. What do you want to do when we're done fighting?
Hell if I know. I just want to take responsibility for what I've done. I think I'm just about there. After that... Aki, it's your turn.
COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (1)
2009/9/15 (Wed) 19:47 Aki
So it's my turn... Got it. Shinji, it may very well be because of my influence that the power of Persona was awakened within you...
[left column]
Boys & Girl's Event
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
What Are You Weirdos, a Cosplay Group?
Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/16 (Wed) 22:58
Come on... I am not gonna participate in your little cosplay thing. The bus stop was one thing, but this time you want me to wear a tailcoat? What? Is that a butler costume? Like I'm gonna play some servant role.
Oh, and when we're going off to Tartarus, don't expect me to act like we're going on a picnic, or whatever. When a Shadow pops out, I want to look like a grown-up warrior. We didn't get this far by being stylish.
I mean, if you're fighting to win, then I'll quit whining. Just don't mess around too much. And don't forget that lives are on the line.
COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/9/17 (Thu) 19:48 Yukaricchi♥
Please don't call us all "weirdos"! Our leader is the one who's into dressing up. I'm a victim too.
2009/9/17 (Thu) 22:39 JUN☆P-
That's the first time I've seen you hatless, Aragaki-san.
...And your head looks totally normal. So disappointing...
2009/9/17 (Fri) 19:29 Aki
I've never brought this up, but... Junpei, what do YOU look like with your hat off? I mean, even when you went swimming at the beach, you refused to take it off.
2009/9/17 (Fri) 21:46 Gaki
What kind of weird ideas are you having about people's heads... Hey Aki, meet me at the strategy room for a tactical debriefing on stealing Junpei's hat.
[right column]
Boy's & Girl's Event Public Post
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Haven't Seen a Movie In Ages
Category: Posts 2009/9/23 (Wed) 22:26
Man, I haven't been to the movies in ages. It's a lot nicer to go on your own, but... Well, if you're inviting me, you must be kind of a weirdo. I guess I don't mind coming along though, kills some time.
But like, did you pick that movie on purpose? "Woof-Meow Kingdom"... We were surrounded by family, made me weirdly sweaty. And the climactic scene where they got dragged in the river... That was... Well, whatever...
Right, I need to give Koro-chan the special dog food and assorted bones I got on the way home. The leash we use on walks is filthy, so maybe I should get a new one, too... Oh, and I'm going to give him a bath later tonight. Shoot, I forgot to get a massage brush...
Anyway, do you think Koro-chan's good at doggy paddling? Never know when something bad might happen around water...
[screenshot:]
> Somehow, Aragaki's eyes seem red...
COMMENT Comments (3) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/9/24 (Thu) 10:00 Aigis
Koromaru-san is profoundly moved by your exceptional treatment of him, Aragaki-san.
2009/9/24 (Thu) 19:13 Fuu＊ka
Aragaki-senpai, you're a real animal lover, aren't you? Nobody who likes animals is a bad person, or so they say. I'll have to cook up something nice for Koro-chan too!
[advertisement:]
Garlic ・ Olive Oil ・ Pepperoncini
Paella
Family Cooking
Airing Weekly, Sunday 7 PM
SMATV Network Kismet Publishing
September edition of the textbook now on sale. If not at your local bookstore, go here → to order online.
[button:] I Want It!
[left column]
Boys & Girl's Event Public Post
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Evening Walk
Category: Posts 2009/9/26 (Sat) 23:14
You guys keep going off about how taking a walk at night soothes the soul, and I kinda have to agree. I used to kill time at night by hanging out in back alleys or clubs, but I guess it's not so bad doing something more healthy with my evenings. And this is so weird, but taking a nice walk makes me want to make dinner for Koro-chan.
It's fall and everything's being harvested, which makes it the season for eating. You guys need to remember to eat up and stay healthy. Or else you're gonna end up bedridden, like our leader was. What would you even do if a shadow popped out then? Well, I guess everything's going good on that front, so it's fine for now. Just remember to get a nice square meal in every day.
[screenshot]
Shinjiro Aragaki
You hungry? I'll fix you something when we get home.
Girl's Event Public Post
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The Trick to Cooking
Category: Cooking 2009/9/27 (Sun) 23:47
Fall's the season for eating, but I don't think that fancy kitchen we have is getting any use. The fridge is full of sports drinks and milk, the cupboards are crammed with protein shakes and cup noodles and junk food... It's messed up. Do you people seriously never cook? We didn't even have a good set of utensils, so I brought some in. Yamagishi's the only one who seems excited about cooking, but she doesn't have the basics down yet. Don't get me wrong, enthusiasm's great, but...
Well, if you've heard someone say that cooking is an act of love, it probably came from someone who's mastered their basics. Doesn't matter how much love you pour into your cooking, if you mess up some fundamental part, it's not gonna taste good. A super common mistake beginners make is ignoring what the recipe says and improvising instead. Get your basics down pat, then you can switch things up. Remember, you don't gotta rush it. Doesn't matter what you're doing, taking it one step at a time is key.
COMMENT Comments (2) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/9/28 (Mon) 18:51 Fuu＊ka
Aragaki-senpai, thank you... You put it pretty bluntly, but you're trying to help, aren't you? I'll start working my way up with simple things like onigiri. If you'd like, feel free to come sample my work?
2009/9/28 (Mon) 19:52 Mitsuru
Aragaki, I'm rather surprised at how good you are at cooking. I wouldn't say you surpass my family's professional chef, but your food was indeed exquisite. Perhaps eating together with everyone isn't so bad, every once in a while.
[right column]
Girl's Event
<< Previous post See all of Gaki-san's posts
Making Things Right
Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/10/3 (Sat) 02:45
[screenshot]
Shinjiro Aragaki
...They're in your hands now.
I believe in you.
[post body]
So tomorrow's the long-awaited full moon, huh. And you know another huge Shadow's gonna pop out. But I never thought the full moon would fall on tomorrow's date, of all days... I can't bring myself to call it a coincidence.
It's not like I think I won't be coming back, but with what I have in the palm of my hand... Well, I can't tell if it's a coincidence or a cruel prank. And the whole time I sit here agonizing about it, the pocketwatch in my palm keeps on ticking. If I had to name the one thing I can never change, it'd be my past self. Who's bound by their past now? It's not just me... So, the only thing left for me to do is to make things right. Because no matter what I choose, I don't got much time left...
I'm not gonna write anything more here, I promise. You don't have to forgive me for my selfishness. And no matter what happens, don't you dare cry...
COMMENT Comments (5) ・ Trackback (0)
2009/10/7 (Wed) 18:36 Fuu＊ka
Aragaki-senpai, they said you wouldn't wake up... When I first read this post, I didn't get it at all, but... Looking back, I think you knew what you were about to do...
2009/10/7 (Wed) 20:28 Mitsuru
Of course I was aware of the situation between Aragaki and Amada. It was a failing on my part that it came to this. From hereafter, the Kirijo family will dedicate all available resources to his medical care. Perhaps Aragaki's strong spirit will grant us a sliver of hope...
2009/10/8 (Thu) 01:36 JUN☆P-
I know you were ready to give your life in this battle, but... Now that it's actually happened, it hurts like hell... Aragaki-san, please wake up...
2009/10/8 (Thu) 20:38 Aki
When I thought Shinji was all but gone, he whispered, "This is what I wanted." While some may dismiss his way of making things right, I would not count myself among them. Everyone, we need to face forward!
2009/10/9 (Fri) 18:46 Amadaman
I've decided to keep fighting here. Until Aragaki-san returns, I will protect his place.
[bubble at top left]
If You Get Into A Relationship...
Social links with Aragaki don't turn romantic until you max out your S. Link rank with him. But once you do get to max, if you call him one more time, you can have the protagonist confess to him. After a short period of heated questioning, you can enter Aragaki's room. Acting much unlike the Aragaki you've seen so far, he will embrace the protagonist and make an unexpectedly bold move. While it's quite the mushy event, if you do get in a relationship, he'll actually be quite assertive. By the way, the protagonist confesses to him in the dorm lounge. If you think about it, Yukari and Junpei and all the other members would be right next to them the whole time...
[screenshot:]
Shinjiro Aragaki
You're uh... not married, so don't get this wrong, but...
[bubbles at top right]
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thur Fri Sat Break
[center of circle:] Shinjiro Aragaki
[by tarot card:] Moon
[spiky bubble at bottom:] Shinjiro Aragaki
[to left of portrait, beneath "Persona capable to summon once Moon's commu rank reaches the max:]
Sandalphon, the Angel That Conveys Prayers
[tag labeled 27]
From the Iwatodoi Dormitory Lounge ......Edition 27
[junpei:] Man, Aragaki-san's cooking is the best.
[koro:] Woof!!
[aegis:] Koromaru-san says he enjoys it too.
[aragaki:] H, hey. You guys suck at eating balanced meals. Try to take care of yourselves.
[mitsuru:] I agree completely. Akihiko could stand to eat something aside from gyudon. [Rice with beef and vegetables.]
[sanada:] I, I eat more than just gyudon! I get plenty of protein shakes in too!
[next column]
[mitsuru:] Ugh... You're giving me a headache.
[junpei:] Gyudon and protein shakes and nothing else... That's uh, really...
[aragaki:] Don't act like you're any different. You basically live off cup ramen. Balance your diet.
[junpei:] Uh, well... I uh, how do I put this, just like, think it's good...
[fuuka:] Okay, I'll keep balance in mind and cook something up!
[aragaki] How about you focus on learning how to cook, first. ...Although, you can go ahead and start practicing.
[vertical line of text in center:]
Brotherly Lines
[column on right]
S. Link Rank 3 Female Protagonist
Look at the balance in these meals... Do you guys live off this...?
S. Link Rank 4 Female Protagonist
...You're not going to leave those vegetables on your plate, are you?
S. Link Rank 7 Female Protagonist
Get some good sleep. ...'Night.
S. Link Rank 9 Female Protagonist
Feels like I got a place to come home to.
S. Link MAX Female Protagonist
Now that you're here, I don't have a care in the world...
[screenshot to left:]
Shinjiro Aragaki
Does everyone here eat like crap...?
[block labeled Girl's Side]
Like An Older Brother
Shinjiro Aragaki always makes sure his fellow club members make it home safe. While he comes off as rather blunt, he's actually deeply worried about everyone's unhealthy eating habits. Following the protagonist's advice, he throws a party. While putting everything together for the party, he teaches Fuuka (who is hopeless at cooking) how to cook. Drawn by the smell, their dormmates gather, and the lounge springs to life. While everyone enjoys the meal, Aragaki steps out for a bit, and asks the protagonist for a private chat. Then, gazing at the protagonist with a gentle smile, he says, "I'm leaving Sanada and everyone else in your hands."
[screenshot to right:]
Aegis
Koromaru-san is distraught.
[caption below screenshot:]
Even Koromaru-san can tell how bad Fuuka's cooking is. But with Aragaki teaching her, she'll be able to make delicious food someday.
TRANSULATIONS NOT MINE THEY ALL BELONG TO THE LOVELY (https://kasael.tumblr.com) ALL CREDIT OF THIS ENTIRE TRANSULATION BELONGS TO THEM NOT ME DON’T REBLOG WITHOUT CREDITING THEM FIRST.
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×∆||• Toffee Dear starboy Ah •||∆×
Version by: @skyaoishipper101 (meh)
Original by: @Theniceststrawberry
~∆ Check her/him out in wattpad ∆~
Chapter 3: Safe heaven
Bzzt bzzt.
The forever annoying noise of Cobalt's phone
Buzzed obnoxiously under his pillow.
He let out a husky groan and stretched a limp hand under his pillow.
He clicked his phone on and squinted at the screen, Trying his best to ignore the buzzing crackle at his ears and black spots invading his vision.
'9:20 - math exams today'
Cobalt slammed his face back into the previous dent he'd formed in the pillow before forcefully pushing himself out of the warmth of his bed sheets.
He sluggishly hauled his body over to his drawers, Scanning all his clothes for his school uniform. His hands viciously tore at the different garments before grabbing the proper clothing.
His hands were quick to pull his shirt off and discard it as his fingers nimbly buttoned up his new one. Silk fabric was heavy in his hands as he tightly wrapped the tie around his neck and yanked it into a knot.
It took him less then five minutes to get dressed and style his hair into his everyday normal look, And look intidimadating enough to scare off those who wanting to be social with him, He hoped.
He didn't bother with his breakfast, Not even a snack to munch on. He was too stressed today.
Shajima was by his window as usual. Skillfully flicking up dark ruby colored strawberries and catching them in his mouth. For him this was a luxury. Simply blissful.
His morning schedule was a little like this:
6:30 - Awaken.
7:00 - Watch kittyboy get ready.
7:30 - Watch kittyboy leave.
7:40 - Get dressed.
8:00 - Parents leave house.
8:40 - Nap
9:40 - Eat strawberries.
His next plan was to make some deliciously sweet black forest ice cream cake but his cloud of thoughts was shattered by the splintering sound of a door being slammed.
Shajima turn his head to the window of the neighbouring house, Missing his strawberry which promptly bounced off his button nose.
Cobalt had arrived home and looked... Terrible.
His hair was a complete disaster, It mostly look like it had been grabbed or balled into a fist.
His clothes were entirely creased, His jean sy were very dusted up in the side. His tie was loosely hanging up over his broad shoulder and his top buttons were undone.
Sweat patterned his face, Red cheeks, It rolled in droplets down his neck.
Shajima dreamily gazed at him with a slight blush on his face. The only thing he could think of was how hot Cobalt looked in the whole disheveled style. But he had to push his silly fantasies aside and help his 'friend'.
He plucked of one of the seeds in a strawberry and aimed it at the window panes.
Cobalt lazily looked up at the window but just shook his head. He seemed almost very upset. The faintest trace of fear lingered on his lips.
Shajima lightly pushed open his own window.
"Kittyboy?" Shajima said with a worried tone in his voice. "I'm not in the mood, Shajy."
Cobalt remained quiet as he paced around the room. He kicked at his wooden bed posts and screamed into his pillow.
Shajima patiently sighed. He chewed on a sweet strawberry and blocked out cobalt's whining.
On the one day my outfit is perfect, But Handsomely Hot neighbour ignores me. Shajima said in his thoughts.
"Um. Coby. Quick question." Shajima said breaking the silence. "Shajy, I already told you I'm not in the mood." Cobalt answered, "Why are you home?" Shajima asked. "What?" Coby asked in confusement. "School ends later. Sure I'm homeschooled but It's only common sense."
Cobalt simmered slightly. Shajima knew he was right but he was ready to be Cobalt's problem solver?
"Coby. Why are you home?"
Cobalt inhaled a deep breath before leaning over his window ledge. His hands gripped the windowsill so tightly the the wood cracked off until his knuckles turned white.
"I had an phobia attack because of my classmate pranked me during my exam. Its not that too important, just my nerves fudging me over."
Shajima felt his face and stomach drop. Phobia attacks. He'd had a few and they were god very awful. Who'd have thought the cool, Handsomely hot non-socialable neighbour would have a phobia attack?
"Are you home alone, Coby?" Shajima worriedly asked, "Yes." Cobalt answered, "Do you want to come over?" Shajima asked again. "Thanks but no thanks. I'm unstable right now." Cobalt answered, "Then.. Do you want a strawberry?" Shajima asked again this time hoping his neighbour would agree.
Cobalt nodded as shajima tossed him a strawberry. Cobalt catched it and started gently nibbling the sleek red skin.
"Phobia huh?" Shajima said, "Don't get all smug, Shajy." Cobalt said, "I'm not. I just had an idea for our first voyage." Shajima said while just catching a strawberry with his mouth. "I told you I'm not going on illegal voyages." Cobalt said.
Shajima paused before adjusting his sakura flower crown. Cobalt was still shocked at how there weren't already bees buzzing around it.
"What if I told you it was legal." Shajima claimed, "Nope" Cobalt disagreeing. "Safe." Shajima claimed again, "Nope." Cobalt still disagreeing, "Away from all humanity?" Shajima claimed again hoping this time Cobalt would agree. "...maybe." Cobalt said.
Shajima beamed and clapped his hands joyously. Like a little kid.
"Great! Meet me back at these windows at 9:00." Shajima said. "9:00? Wait at night?!" Cobalt asked worriedly, "Yup! Wear something pretty for me." Shamjima suggested. "I will literally wear a trash bag with holes for my limbs." Cobalt said sarcasticly, "Please don't." Shajima said. "I'm just joking, hehe." Cobalt jokingly answered.
The two boys shook on it and turned to continue their personal duties.
~∆~∆~∆~
9 o' clock.
Cobalt settled on wearing a white polo shirt and black T-shirt underneath, and some black jeans. Nothing special, but he doesn't have a reason to dress extravagantly.
The brunet slid open his window to see a familiar boy pushing open his own.
Shajima was wearing blush pink polo shirt and a white shirt underneath it. His hair was rather considered to be messy and slightly damp. He didn't bothered with jewelry, but did had a single black choker.
He did notice cobalt immediately and waggled his fingers in a typically flirty manner.
"Good evening, kittyboy." Shajima greeted, "Evening, Shajy." Cobalt greeted back. "Ready for an adventure?" Shajima asked, "Sure." Cobalt answered.
Shajima swung his leg over the ledge and half twisted his body.
Cobalt awkwardly knelt by his window ledge. There was no way he'd risk his life to go on a midnight journey with practically a complete stranger.
Shajima swiftly dropped from the window and landed on a thick branch of a tree between there houses. An old chestnut tree that had been there for generations. He rotated his head to see the nervous wreck named Cobalt watching from a distance.
"Are you crazy?!" Cobalt said while his hands rested on his hips as he pulled of a baffled expression.
"Yes." Shajima was for once dead serious, His eyes glinting against the dark starry night atmosphere.
"I'm not jumping!" Cobalt claimed, "Please, Coby." Shajima begged. "Nope." Cobalt answered, "If you fall, I'll catch you." Shajima said.
Cobalt pondered the thought for a second before hesitantly clinging to the window frame.
Do I even trust shajima? Absolutely not. So why am I obeying him? This thoughts run around Cobalt's head.
One foot reached the stony wall of his house.
He looked back at Shajima, Both his eyes locked onto his every movement. Static and half by half. Shajima looked so different from this angle. He looked so-
Slip
Grab
Thud
Cobalt felt his body slam into a solid object. His hands was no longer gripping the window, But found its way to hold something else. Something warm. With fingers.
Wait.
Fingers?
Cobalt pulled himself back to see shajima smiling warmly at him. Both of them on the branch.
Teetering dangerously backwards, shajima wrapped a protective arm Cobalt's waist, Both holding hands with astonished expressions on their faces. Shajima seized the moment to pull Cobalt's waist closer and jump off from the branch, To the ground.
Once on the ground, Cobalt backed away and patted himself down; As if looking for any damage marks.
"Thanks." Cobalt thanked Shajima, "No problem, I had a feeling you'd suck at sneaking around." Shajima said.
Shajima didnt leave a second for his friend to protest in his defense before walking past the tree, And into the lane behind them.
Cobalt jogged to keep up and tugged the sleeves of his polo shirt.
"Where are we going?" Cobalt asked, "A place only I know of." Shajima answered. "Which is? Cobalt asked again, "Near. Now shut your mouth, boy." Shajima said.
Shajima took a sharp right towards a local forest.
A white metal sign scribed with metallic black lettering was nailed into the damp soil bordering the forest.
Blue moon wisteria forest
Cobalt followed like a curious toddler till he heard a distant noise.
A sound of pure serenity. Seems like running water. A nearby stream.
He'd never been in the woods so far before so he wouldn't know if they had a stream, But the woods didn't have a stream.
Shajima pushed aside a large pebbled path they'd been following, His eyes lighting up like a child on Christmas morning.
"We're here!"
Cobalt mimicked the action and pushed the lush foliage. His jaw as his head spun.
It was just like a painted scenery the water reflected the beautiful starry night sky, The water twinkled like the stars, There was a dock where you can tie a boat or catch some fish.
It was a lake.
Cobalt gasped as Shajima began pacing up to it, His hands tracing the corrugated stone prostrusions. Birds cawed from trees overhead.
Shajima eventually sat on near the edge of the dock and looked at the water, Letting his shoulders sink inwards and back onto the wooden dock.
Cobalt perched beside him, Both of his legs laying in the edge if the dock same as Shajima.
"Beautiful, right?" Shajima asked, "Yes, it is." Cobalt agreed. "I noticed this place the day me and my family moved into town." Shajima said, "You found this so soon?" Cobalt asked, "Of course. I thought it'd be a nice stargazing spot." Shajima claimed. "It's always the stars with you." Cobalt said, "Yup. I want to be one." Shajima said. "You are a star." Cobalt said while giving a glance at shajima.
Shajima giggled and hummed to himself. A song Cobalt has never heard.
Cobalt watched the fireflies glowing as they danced among the darkness. Time shifted as the clouds in the sky dissipated into a sheet of black.
"So. This is your new safe heaven?" Cobalt asked, "I guess so. It seems like it could be a new home." Shajima answered, "What about the house beside mine?" Cobalt asked again. "That's a house. Not a home. Home is where the heart is." Shajima said.
Shajima let out a shallow breath as he widely grinned up at the moon. Full and round, Like a pristine white plate.
"How about I share this new heaven?" Shajima said, "What do you mean?" Cobalt asked. "You said... You're unstable and... So am I." Shajima answered, "So?" Cobalt said, "you are the only other person to know about here. Let's make it our place." Shajima said.
Shajima stand up and somehow a scar peeked out from his shirt that Cobalt never noticed, He sooner held his hand and looked at Cobalt. Cobalt took the hand into his own. The Contact was icy but soon comforting.
"Yeah... Our place."
∆{stay tune for the next chapter guys TwT}∆
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What do you have there? (A smoothie.)
(Day 1)
Anthony taps his fingers against the scratched up countertop he's currently leaning on, an unknown pattern that somehow syncs with the dusty clock above his head on the wall behind the counter. '1:00' It reads and his head hits the counter with a 'thunk'.
His boss is an absolute dick. Who the fuck keeps a tiny ass market open twenty-four/seven? Tyler does, that's who. The said male had already hauled his 6 foot something fat ass upstairs to his own apartment, leaving Anthony alone in the small and deserted shop.
There's a series of small whimsical sounds from above the front door and the male straightens up, bored as he is there's no way he's going to ruin someone else's mood.
The burnet doesn't hear the male before seeing him, dark raven locks floating above the high shelves that make up the few aisles within the shop, and has to blink when the newcomer rounds the corner.
He's tall incredibly so, taller than Anthony's fucktard of a friend more than likely and slender. No doubt that he'd float away from Earth if the moon pulls the gravity just right. Green eyes are somehow bright with mirth despite the current time and dark stubble is scratched at with long fingers.
A big jar of crunchy peanut butter is set on the counter between them, the largest they carried, and the giant beanstalk places a crumbled five dollar bill next to it. Anthony rings up the purchase and delivers the change of three quarters before asking if the customer wanted a bag.
"No t'ank ye." The Irish accent is deep, deeper than one expected from a man like the one before the employee and he picks up the jar before making his way out of the shop, the bells signaling his departure.
(Day 2)
Deja vu settles in once again as Anthony numbingly throws a small panda painted ball at the wall beside the staticky surveillance footage.
It strikes one a.m once again and the bells sing soon after, the Irishman from before walking through the same aisle before buying the same jar again. Anthony lets the ball fall to the vinyl floor as he rings up the condiment again.
He asks if the other wants a bag but the ravenet politely declines before exiting.
(Day 3)
At this point Anthony believes he's in some boring remake of Groundhog Day as the beanstalk purchases another jar of peanut butter, but he notices slight differences.
His posture is hunched, like he's fighting off the non-existent cold as he hands over another five.
"I gotta know the name of our mvc." The employee chuckles at the lost look on the man's narrow face. "Most. Valuable. Customer." He explains and the other nods before chuckling himself.
"David, I live upstairs." He points a long index finger toward the ceiling and Anthony smiles, David returning it before leaving the shop once again.
(Day 4)
"You really like it that much?" Anthony asks as David places two jars on the counter, simply shrugging.
It isn't even good peanut butter, it leaves sand in your mouth-the employee has stated this many a time to his boss but Tyler's as frugal as it gets and refuses to get anything else.
The burnet notices the darkened bags beneath the ravenet's dulling emerald eyes. The Irishman places the quarters from the previous purchases and two wrinkled one dollar bills to pay and Anthony feels concern roll his stomach as the taller sways.
"Are you okay, man?" The Employee asks as he hands over the change into a shaking palm.
"Homework..." Is all David says and the other sympathizes instantly, college isn't fun for anyone.
"Good luck!" He calls as the man departs, he turns enough to give Anthony a small smile and a shaky wave.
(Day 5)
Once is fine, twice is coincidence, but six is insanity. Six jars of crunchy peanut butter is insanity, Anthony thinks as a slightly disappointed Irishman pays for his sixth jar, the last of the shop's stock.
Momo sits on top of the counter beside him, reading a Fruits Basket manga as the two males converse, secretly watching the encounter with curious hazel eyes.
David is certainly shy still but Anthony seems to be bringing out a happier side despite the Irishman's worryingly dark bags and paler than what skin. The two part with smiles and the woman waits a few moments after the giant's departure before lifting her legs to spin around and face her friend.
"So, that's David?" She asks and he nods as he settles onto the stool again.
Anthony had brought the male up to Momo between their shared meal at university earlier today, animatedly explaining the weird diet of the man.
"That's David." He sighs before picking the ball back up and tossing it from hand to hand.
"He's cute," The emerald haired beauty compliments and Anthony agrees not really paying attention to his classmate until the ball falls from his fingers. "But what's with the whole "Can you reserve three pounds of ground beef tomorrow, please?"?"
The male shrugs, bending over to grab the sphere once again. "Shit, if I knew I wouldn't still be here discussing it with you."
(Day 6)
David stops before the counter, hands in the pockets of his denim jacket before clearing his throat. "Hey, David!" Anthony's greeting is muffled by the cabinet he currently has his head buried in, bent at the waist with a hand bracing him against the edge of the counter.
"Hello." The Irishman returns softly, watching as the other sways his body side to side as he searches.
"Bingo!" The shorter male pops up with a smile and a brown paper bag in his arms. "Three pounds of ground up milk horses for ya!" The taller male blinks twice before chuckling.
"T'ank ye." The chuckling is forced and the gratitude is almost hollow sounding. Anthony pauses with counting change, hesitating on rather or not to ask the fidgeting male. Instead he resumes his task and drops it in the male's large upturned palm.
The two share a farewell before David practically runs from the store, leaving a confused Anthony with a stomach rolling in worry.
(Day 7)
There's a knock at the door and Anthony rolls over, reluctant to leave the cocoon that is his bed but there's another knock and then another.
It's knock number seven that finally gets him out of bed, and he trudges to the his front door before swinging it open. "The fuck you want, Chilled?" He grumbles, scratching his t-shirt clad chest right where the panda's face resides.
"I know, I know. Too early, but someone left a note on my door meant for you." The other Anthony explains, holding up the note like it's a Yu-Gi-Oh card. The larger male squints as he takes the paper, trying to decipher the chicken scratches before groaning. Monster is needed.
Anthony steps back, allowing the other to come in before shuffling to the kitchen beside the door. The Italian moves to close the door Momo's voice stops the male. "Morning, Chilled." She greets as she slips by, moving to sit next to Anthony at the dingy table. "Morning, Panda." The addressed male mumbles into the can, content on simply drinking.
The door's prevented from closing by a large hand before Tyler shoulders his way in. "Morning, pussies." The Ohio Native groans as his head makes contact with the tabletop and Tyler slips into the seat beside Momo, Anthony taking the last spot after closing the door.
The three talk quietly among themselves as the burnet works away at the can between his fingers. "Do you know anything about David, Tyler?" Momo asks almost sickeningly innocent but Anthony narrows brown eyes at the girl.
"Nogle?" The giant supplies. "Yeah, moved in like two weeks ago, tall Irish dumbass bothered me every single fucking day that first week." The male sips at the Starbucks dwarfed in his hands. "Panda here hasn't stopped talking about him. You into him, pussylips?"
The other two nod in agreement as the called out man groans. "Not my fault he's the most interesting thing around here. The shop's as dead as Chilled's humour." The insult draws a curse from the Italian.
"What's the note say anyway?" Momo asks after the laughter dies down and Anthony slowly picks it up.
"'Meet me at apartment 8 tonight at 6. - Daithi'." The male raises an eyebrow. "'P.S. - Bring another jar of Peanut Butter if you can. Thanks.'." The other three sit in silence as the reader tilts his head. "Huh."
"Who the fuck gives themselves the nickname 'Daithi'?"
"Pot calling kettle black, Wildcat." Chilled defends and the giant hides his embarrassment with a firm slap to the man's shoulder.
"Sounds like a date, Panda." Momo giggles and the others nod, laughing after Anthony counters with, "Even so, it's more action then you've seen in months, Mo'."
It's mere minutes before six as Anthony pauses at Apartment number eight, the little card slot below the knocker holding the name 'David Nogle' in handwriting matching the note the man had left on his kitchen table. Heavy Irish filtered through the door and the male picks up on weird squishing sounds before scrunching his nose.
He waits til six on the dot before knocking. There's barking and scratches of claws against hardwood flooring burying the yells of "Joe" and "Tony". There's some Irish grumbling before the door opens, revealing a slightly disheveled David bent over to stop a spaniel from running through.
"Hey, Anthony." He greets before holding the door open for the shorter male.
"Hope I'm not too early." The burnet says as he moves into the apartment.
It's cluttered with various art supplies, unfinished projects, and a beat up guitar leaning against a rickety tv stand. The couch is covered in numerous blankets coloured with various stains. The kitchen/dining room are to it's left, a hallway beside the fridge leading to the bedroom and bathroom -essentially a copy of Panda's own.
"Sorry for t'e mess. School, Joe and Tony don't leave much time for cleaning." David apologizes as he gratefull takes the jar Anthony brought.
"No big deal, man. Mine doesn't look much better." This draws a smile from the Irishman who gestures to the round table paired with mix-and-not-so-matched chairs.
"I've got water, coffee, tea or juice? If you're interested." The tall male bends over to look into the fridge, it's surface covered in letters, notes, and weird magnets -the word 'cunt' written out in colourful alphabet characters usually used by children.
Anthony opens his mouth to respond when something shifts in the corner of his eye. He blinks twice as he takes in the largest clump of peanut butter sitting on a folding table. "What the fuck is that?"
Daithi turns, a bottle of something brown in his hand. "A smoothie." His response is smooth and Anthony once again moves to stare at the male. "Joe's a bit constipated, a li'l this will help with that."
Panda blinks, not once but multiple times trying to understand what exactly is going on. "Uhhhhh, first off; TMI. Secondly, I meant the play-dough sculpture reject over there."
David's brows furrow and he uses a free hand to push his glasses up. "Oh! That's a dog." Anthony's brown eyes widen while his nose scrunches, because that is anything but a dog. "It's an assignment, "Build an animal out of their favorite food"." The Irishman's explanation is smooth as he stands up from pouring out that nasty concoction into a dog bowl.
"Thank god, we don't sell good peanut butter," Anthony jabs a thumb in it's direction. "cause that would be an insult to Jif." The two laugh and Daithi moves to grab a pot from the stove.
Dinner passes by with decent pasta and loud laughter till the two are sipping tea and coffee on the shot couch, the blankets didn't just protect the fabric, but protected humans from it's scratchy material and the springs that are poking through.
"So, what prompted you to invite me over?" Anthony asks as he scratches Tony's neck, the spaniel was curled up in his lap, tail hitting the couch in rhythmic thumps.
"I'm new, don't know anyone her' besides our cranky landlord an' I like ye." David's explanation is accompanied by Joe shoving his face into his owner's. "Dammit, Joe! Get down." He playfully shoves the dog away who hops off with a huff.
"Well, I know everyone here and I like you too, even if your art taste is questionable." Anthony smiles at David's snort.
"Screw you, I'm aceing the class."
"You sure it's not out of pity?"
"Shut it, ye cunt." The taller pushes a wheezing Anthony off the couch, the shorter male simply laying there as his voice gurgles.
There's a crash, a thud, and a yip before the Irishman looks over the couch and yells. "JOE YE FOCKIN' CUNT!"
Anthony peeks around the couch to see the Peanut Butter Art Project splattered on the floor with Joe in the middle of it chowing down.
The two spend hours cleaning up the mess and salvaging what they could, but it's clear that the statue is in shittier conditions than it was before the accident -and that wasn't a good condition either.
"Fock, this is due in two days... I'm screwed." David sits back on his heels with his face buried in his large palms.
Anthony holds his hands out for the dogs to clean as he evaluates the male beside him. "Well, let's go scower the streets then."
The sentence has Daithi looking up through long fingers. "Wot?"
The shorter stands up as he wipes his hands off on his jeans before holding out a hand. "There's gotta be another market that sells shitty peanut butter..." He glances to the folding table. "...and taller tables."
David eyes the burnet before smiling as he takes the other's hand. "Right." He dusts off his flannel before reaching for his keys and wallet. "Let's go!" Anthony chuckles as he follows the male out the door. "Behave you two."
The two trek down the hall after the door is locked and Anthony glares at the small crack of another door, brown eyes meeting wide hazel ones before it's shut quickly.
--------
Another shitty drabble from that 3some of prompts stolen from Tumblr and reuploaded on Pinterest with no credits: "You've ordered six jars of peanut butter and three pounds of raw meat in the past week. Are you hiding dogs or are you at a low point in your life? I'm concerned."
This time in the form of ambiguous Daithi De Panda because I see Daithi as a Spencer from iCarly kinda artist and Anthony needs more love goddambit.
Also, I've had this sitting unfinished for like 3 months and I'm still not exactly happy with it, but 🤷♀️.
Also x2, it may be a bit OOC cause writing real life/already established people fucking sucks.
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The Pure Truth
This is my fifth acid trip and my most profound.
July 6 at around 6:20 PM I dropped 450 micrograms of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, the week prior I had spent time cleansing my mind of anxiety in preparing for this trip by handling things in my life that needed to be handled, such as: cleaning tensions between my ex and myself, telling a few people a few things I've been meaning to, finishing up my online summer school class with most of my baggage off my chest and 4 days off from work.
I was ready to buy 3 tabs good Lucy ,which is the most I've done, today. My dealer Eric met me in my alley which is pretty stereotypical, we made the exchange, I walked inside and put it in my drug box, talked to my family, and had dinner for a few hours before receding into my room for the next 10 hours.
6:20 PM I cleared my head and dropped. We played Fortnite on my PC with my friend Jay. We played for maybe an hour and a half. An hour and I begin to feel the oh so familiar feeling of my teeth and skin, tongue began to crawl with little electric pin pricks around the same time the game began to look more and more realistic and vibrant until it began to look like my character was running in front of my face, off my screen. I was already beginning to be surrounded by the flow of everything in my visual field, I started to have trouble communicating with Jay and playing the game started becoming impossible. I remember specifically glancing down at my hand well I was using the keyboard, I saw my bones move as if my skin was nearly transparent. Everything around me became vibrant began to shimmer. I knew that in was in for a big one. By now I manage to mutter: I'm gonna have to lay down to J, before logging off covering myself with blankets on my bed.
Around 8:00 PM I put on Grateful Dead Station. Since it’s the middle of summer, the sun had not completely set yet and the low Star cast deep yellowish and orange streaks through my blinds and onto my walls, as I lay there completely invested in the music and still coming up fast, my walls and carpet and blinds began dancing with the music. There were waves on the ceiling and rhythm with the song surrounding my vision. If I were to look closer in anything, I could see every individual particles making up the object for instance. I could see every cell in my hand in every thread of my blankets. I listen to the whole album and then after it finished put on Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side of the Moon”. I remember half way through the oven my body began to vibrate with the sound. There's no way of articulating this feeling, but the sounds are quite literally a part of my touch, I could feel each individual sound holster my body to accompany it some kind of visual would pop up in front of me.
Up until this point my psychedelic journey this was as far as I'd ever managed to dose. Far as I ever got. I managed to always dose myself low enough to make my physical being and perception feel completely bizarre and alien but I never managed to go deeper. I think this is far as most people go and... But I knew there was something more to be known. I wanted to go into the places that I heard Terence McKenna and Alan Watts talking about... I never saw The Light, The Profound, The Other, The Unspeakable. On one trip prior I remember feeling the very beginnings of my ego dissolving but nothing more. This trip was different. This overwhelming sense of understanding began to build from the moment I started tripping, so after doing trivial things like watching the walls become great city scapes or watch the ceiling fan melt into the floor, which I've done plenty of on trips prior, I decided that this was still coming on stronger by the minute and I thought my ego begin to dissolve.
By now it's around 1:30 AM and completely dark outside. Turn off all the lights in my room and put on my headphones, began listening to binaural beats for meditation. Leading up to now I had subconsciously felt that there was some sort of struggle in my mind. My internal voice became frantic, asking questions that I've never asked before, giving answers that made sense in a way I can explain. I felt every part of my life be taken away from me one by one, my ego and everything that I had built for 17 years up until this point begin disappearing. In their place my ego was pure understanding and being. A lost memory of my mother, myself of any of my friends, of anything I ever cared about I became nothing while simultaneously I was everything. I remember feeling my body dissolve into my blanket, then into my bed, then into everyone and everything I've ever known. I become the universe.
I felt all things began to piece by piece decide that this was it - that this is the answer - that this is all I am meant to do is experience simply and in complete balance. I understood that the ultimate state of being is to understand that there's nothing to understand, and up until this point I had tried with everything I had to make sense of things on a daily basis and refused to believe that the answer was so simple. The whole time I was presented with amazing visuals of vast impossible landscapes, as if I was eye with no body. Far off places with tall mountains and planets and multiple places at once, streaks of color I've never seen before. Snakes slithering into each other and plants growing infinitely, spinning constantly changing flowers and list geometry and impossible shapes that don't exist in our reality.
And I was suddenly cast into an endless corridor of beautifully colored faces (google Alex Grey's art to get an idea of what I'm talking about). The space roared with noise and archetypal symbolism. I saw every religion symbolism from every culture, I saw the father and I saw the mother, I saw the Yin and Yang in the form of 2 clouds of smoke - one white and one black - colliding with each other but never becoming gray. I came face to face with fear and bad intentions personified, I saw all things that drive everything in the universe, I saw the rule book of life. I knew that this presence was the universal consciousness or God or whatever you wanna call it. He was there with me. It showed me the beauty of Roxbury and it's faces and lists of beautiful perfectly symmetrical hallways and faces. I got the sense that these faces were meant to show me that the human form is purposeful. The face is designed by something we don't understand thrust into our physical reality through the evolution of life on Earth. I get the feeling that I am something immensely special.
Message at this point was to shut up, stop worrying and listen. It showed me that the universe created life of nothing, it showed me that our only purpose is to understand. We look for peace and material and relationships but it never occurs to us how amazing it feels, how amazing it is to feel nothing. Then the trip became slightly sinister and joking with me. They began to play a sad song and were showing me a man in the fetal position searching for relief in our physical world that he finds, that he only finds after death. I was shown this for what seemed like eternity, I remember the words bouncing around: “It's all a joke, this is all a big play can't you see monkey that you have no clue what we are doing?”. At the time I was not at all scared instead in awe and curious as to what was meant by all of this.
By now in the trip I have little recollection of my physical body, but I remember experiencing this beautiful blissful connection to everything and in the distance of my mind hearing myself cry. I felt my body convulse and cry as I was charged with this pure truth and understanding. I had no more connection to anything in my everyday life instead I am just enveloped by love, by bliss, and simultaneously by hate, by chaos, everything was there - so nothing was. I realize now that this isn't all a big joke, less more of a big metaphor, the game to become good at.
You get to choose which you make your purpose in this life. And spend every day working at it or you can minimize from every day it get used to be fed what to do by society. Either way you'll return to nothing so doesn't matter in the end - but it really matters now - now is all we will ever experience in this life. After this enlightening and completely amazing experience I began piecing my life back together one thing at a time. I looked at old pictures and try to text a few friends to ground myself again.
At 2:45 AM I took 2 sleeping pills and I don't remember much after 3:30 AM. My next memory is waking up at 9:30 trying to piece together what the the fuck happened last night. I got up, ate some fig newtons, drank a glass of water, and was sober but mind-blown for the rest of the day. It was beautiful and terrifying and completely invaluable to me having integrated this experience for a month and some change. My life has taken on a new meaning. I'm immensely more relaxed and confident in everything I do. The universe has a large of a larger purpose for me so I need to just do my part in the play with the big experiment of life on Earth as best I can. I played much more music since and can feel other musicians music in a way I never have before. It all feels so personal now. I think this trip represents one more huge step towards me becoming the best version of myself. I haven’t tripped since and probably won't for awhile, because this was the single most life changing trip of my life. And at the moment I don't feel the need to heal myself any further.
Credit: This World (Youtube)
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Tumblr, help me!!!
So here’s the deal. I’ve been on the chubbier side since i was about 8 or 9. Growing up, my diet consisted of Fruit Roll Ups and warm Dr. Pepper, right from the can. Oh, and BagelBites! My mother has been obese since she was about 30 (right after I was born) and she owes it to the diet she follows and taught her children to follow (Not blaming my momma, in the 90’s/early 00’s no one gave a shit about diet). I was never taught how to eat correctly, and I never even realized what I was eating was negatively effecting me. By the time I was a freshman in highschool, I weighed about 180 pounds, standing at 5’6, and that stayed the same (give or take ten pounds) until I reached junior year and hit 200 pounds. Then, in the summer before I was a senior, I found out I was pregnant. I graduated highschool in January, and in January I weighed 224 pounds. Luckily, when i gave birth in February, i left the hospital weighing 198 pounds again which is how much I weighed when i got pregnant. A few months went by and i gained a little more weight. In October of 2017, i found out that my boyfriend and daughters father was dating his ex girlfriend behind my back. I quit my job and stopped going to college, waisting about $1500 in the process. I was feeling more forsaken and hopeless than i have ever been before. Then more than ever i turned to food for comfort. By november 1st, i weighed 206 pounds.
Sometime after that i started to try and watch what i eat and i got a new job as a busser that had me on my feet 6 hours every day, carrying trays and filling waters. By the following August, i was back down to an even 180.
Today, i weighed 174 pounds, only six pounds less than what i weighed in August.
So, i have officially decided to begin to take my journey seriously. Its a journey of healing, growing, and learning. I know it will be long and hard and confusing and at times im going to want to give up and run to the grocer to get a pack of bagel bites and a two liter of Dr. Pepper. But with the impending New year creeping up behind me, its time to really sit down and think about what i need to do to accomplish all i want to accomplish this year. And im using tumblr as a tool to guide and motivate me, but also keep me accountable.
So, if anyone bothered to read this long into my post (basically my first ever entry in my Tumblr wellness journey) if you are in the same (or a similar) boat as i am, please for the love of god speak up! I need you! Send me YOUR story, and lets embark together. I promise to be as motivating and attentive as humanely possible, and in return all i ask is that you remind me that i am more than the sum of all the bagel bites ive ever eaten
In love and prosperity,
Moon babe
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I Need Someone Because I’m All Alone
NCT Dream x Female OC (I’m not good at Y/N I type out actual names, but just replace the name with your name.)
Prologue
Lee Mark
Among all the people surrounding me,
Why am I alone?
_________________________________________
Mark was popular when he lived in Canada and even here when he was in Korea. He had his friends, they were older but they were there. Yet Mark had all these feelings that something was missing.
He went to school, went to parties, had movie nights with his friends but nothing seemed to make sense. It felt like he was going through the motions and he didn’t know why. He was happy with his friends, it's not like he was looking for anything else.
“Among all the people surrounding me…why am I alone?” He cried out into his pillow as he was laying in bed after a fun night with his friends.
He took his pillow and threw it across the room, knocking over the lamp crashing it to the floor making a loud sound. Sadly it has happened before, maybe he should just move his lamp, or maybe he should stop throwing his pillows, or maybe he should fix himself.
But what is there to fix?
“Why am I alone?” He cried.
Huang Renjun
That person I’m looking for,
I’m sure that person is looking at the same night sky
___________________________________________________
Huang Renjun believed that art was a way to express his feeling, his emotions. He loved to travel the world to express how he felt, how others felt, and his experiences. Even though he was a teenager he was able to travel wherever he wanted. He attended online school just for the purpose.
Because of this Renjun had no close friends, no ties with anyone. He was in Korea currently and was sitting in a park, he wasn’t sure where but he was drawing a picture of the night sky and without noticing it he was drawing a person in the sky.
“That person…” He mumbled as he looked up at the sky and just like his drawing he could see a person. It happened occasionally, it seemed like his mind was looking for someone. “I’m sure that person is looking at the same night sky.”
The thought made him smile as he continued to draw. But even if he found that person could he talk to them? Could he form a bond knowing that he would just end up leaving and he would be all alone again and to leave that person alone too?
Lee Jeno
When I leave tomorrow morning
I wish there was someone
Who would tell me, have a good day
And even now
__________________________________________
It was four in the morning and Jeno was laying in bed. He wasn’t your typical student, he went to all his required classes but dancing was his main passion. He went to every dance class he could and was always in the studio. From right after school until they closed and then he had to go to the all-night library cafe to study until ungodly hours.
He had only gotten back at 2:00 and had finally laid in bed, but he couldn’t sleep. He laid in bed staring at the ceiling until it was time to get up and go.
“I wish there was someone who would tell me, have a good day.” He laughed bitterly as he got dressed. His father already left for work, his older sister already left for school and his mother was sleeping. He was there to leave on his own, he should be used to it. He was eighteen years old, he didn’t need anyone to say such trivial things to him, but he still wanted to hear them. The words he’s never heard before.
“Even now…” He finished getting ready and was leaving for the bus stop when he mumbled to himself wishing himself a good day since no one else would.
Lee Donghyuck
Actually, I’m lonely
I hate that the night sky has no answer
_______________________________________
Lee Donghyuck.
The name is iconic in the underground. He is known as one of the toughest guys in all of Seoul, a fighter. He has a gang of people at his beck and call, someone feared but well loved within his group in the underground.
How could he ever feel lonely when he’s surrounded with people all the time, people who love him and are devoted to him?
Donghyuck had gone a separate way from his gang, left them in the hideout while he went to the roof. He sat on the ledge and looked down at the street and laughed, not a cute type or normal laugh but the laugh of a manic. After his laugh he laid so he was laying on the ledge with his right arm and leg hanging off.
“Actually, I’m lonely.” She looked at the sky, he asked it in more of a question as if he was expecting an answer from anyone.
“I hate that the night sky has no answer.” He cried out.
“Answer me…”
Na Jaemin
I’m alone
Under the moonlight
I’m alone
Only the cold night air
Is by my side
__________________________________
Na Jaemin, the idol of the hospital. Things were tough, he wasn’t okay. But he hated saying it, he never told anyone, he was the bright kid, who was never caught unhappy. But that’s not who he was. The kid who made everyone smile and feel happy, he spread all his happiness and love to everyone else he had none left for himself.
He was eighteen and on the roof of the hospital, he would occasionally sneak up there at night. He never was going to do anything, he just liked looking at the moonlight and having the cool air hit his skin.
“I’m alone.” Despite being in the hospital, with doctors, nurses, patients, families, other workers he was alone. His family rarely came to visit anymore, where was a comfort that everyone else seemed to get?
He looked up at the moon and gave a weak smile. “Only the cold air is by my side.” He laughed softly, it was funny to him. That in a place so populated, so full of emotion, he only had the cold nights air. Being alone is funny, how can you be lonely when you’re with so many people?
Zhong Chenle
After the day ends and I come back home
I wish there was someone
Who would tell me, good job
And hold me
And even now
_______________________________
Chenle left China to go to a foreign country to train in singing. He loved to sing more than he loved anything else in his life and going to Korea seemed like a dream, but was it?
The long day of training ended and unlike other trainees who could go home to their families, he was going to the trainee dorm. Somewhere lonely. There were people, yes, but it was lonely. He was only sixteen, almost seventeen.
Back home at the dorms, he had to keep quiet as he made his way to the kitchen to get some water, the other trainees living in the dorms weren’t home yet or were already sleeping. As he poured his glass of water he looked to his left to see the empty living room.
“I wish there was someone who would tell me good job.” He mumbled softly and drank his water and put the glass in the sink.
“Someone to hold me.” He continued to talk as he made his way to his room.
He made his way to his room and got ready for bed, the day was coming to an end, the same day as always. He always did the same thing, training, and sleep. With no one there to give him strength.
“Even now…”
Park Jisung
“I’m not lonely”
I say to the night sky without any strength
“I’m okay today”
I say to myself over and over again
_____________________
Jisung walked the same route every single day. He left his families home at 6:30am to catch the 7:00 bus. Arrived at school at 7:25 and walked into his class by 7:35. He had regular classes until 4:00, he was in charge of sweeping the class which he finished with at exactly 4:30. He then went to the self-study room and stayed there studying until dinner at 6:00. He finished dinner by 6:45 and was back at the bus station by 7:00 to catch the 7:10 bus. He arrived at his private academy at 7:45. His class was from 8:00 until 10:30. He would then go to either the Han River or an all-night library cafe depending on the weather he would arrive at 11:00 and stay until 1:30. He took the 1:45 bus back to his home and arrived back home at 2:15.
By this time his parents were sleeping and no one was there to greet him. He went to his room and studied until 3:15 and then went to bed to do it all over again. He’s been doing this since he was 12 years old.
However tonight was different, it was his sixteenth birthday and he had finished his academy and was going to the Han River. It was snowing and cold but he wanted to be outside. He went and sat down at one of the food carts that was open year round. He ordered some noodles and looked up at the night sky.
“I’m not lonely.” He sighed softly and ate his noodles. “I turned sixteen today.” He mumbled and the worker heard and didn’t make him pay for his meal. Jisung smiled and thanked the worker before he got up to walk to the bus stop to head back home.
“I’m okay today.”
#nct dream au#nct dream#nct au#Kpop au#kpop#mark lee#huang renjun#renjun#lee jeno#jeno#lee donghyuck#donghyuck#na jamein#jaemin#Zhong chenle#chenle#park jisung#nct#NCT Dream Scenarios#nct scenarios
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EMIGRANT WILDERNESS (2/2)
This was a rough trip. Cut for long description of hiking misadventures, mostly for my own reference:
The plan was to spend three days/two nights out on the trail---we were going to camp the first night at Camp Lake, then move on to Bear Lake in the morning, drop off our packs, and do a day hike up to Granite Lake, which is only a couple of miles from Bear Lake but is (notably) off-trail. Then we would spend the second night at Bear Lake and pack out in the morning. Hiking party was me, my dad, and my dad’s best friend, B. In a humorous initial setback, we had come expecting to pick up a wilderness permit from the ranger station only to discover that the station was closed and advance notice was required for an off-hours permit. We decided to risk it!
The first night and morning were lovely, although we all got way too high on B’s stash of medicinal chocolate and had a perhaps-unduly-hilarious time setting up camp. In the morning we had a slow start, and didn’t get to Bear Lake until 2:00. We had some indecision over which campsite to claim, and ended up dropping our packs at a point slightly after the trail ended, on the theory that we would pick them up on our way back from Granite, and compare campsite merits then. We then followed the creek our to the fairly steep rock scramble/ridge which is the only way to get to Granite Lake in < two hours. We’d done maybe half an hour of that, my dad at the front, me in the middle, and B at the back, when Dad and I noticed that B was no longer behind us.
After shouting for him a bit we went back to where we’d left the packs; B had packed three walkie-talkies but we... hadn’t actually brought ours for the day hike. But we thought he might have! So we took one and went back up the ridge, hoping to get in range. After another hour’s search we were significantly discouraged and circled back to base a second time, whereupon we discovered that B’s walkie-talkie was, of course, clipped to his pack.
Fine: we decided to stay there and set up camp, on the assumption that he would have turned around soon after noticing we were separated. We took our packs back to the closest established campsite, and left a note on his pack saying where we had gone.
Then we had a long unpleasant wait until sunset. Neither of us really knew what to do; it was obvious that, whatever had happened, he wasn’t going to make it back before dark. The most attractive possibility was that he had decided to forge ahead to Granite Lake on the assumption that he would meet us there; the least was that he had slipped and been injured and couldn’t move. We went over to where his pack was, debated bringing it back to camp, and instead attached my dad’s flashlight to a nearby tree and set it on blinker mode, hoping that B would be able to see it from a distance in the dark.
At this point we had already agreed that someone needed to hike back to the trailhead and get help, but weren’t at all sure about timing: Dad wanted to leave me at camp and go on his own in the dark, which I thought was a dumb idea; he understandably didn’t want to wait until morning to get a real search started. In the end we decided to pack out together that night, since we had multiple lights and phone battery still. First we ate a fortifying meal of flat pasta and salmon mush. Between that and decamping, we didn’t leave until about 8:00.
To my surprise the night hike was pretty painless---we got lost in a marsh skirting Bear Lake, but once we found the trail again we didn’t have any major problems. Some of this was luck. We also made excellent time, since both of us were terrified. We went through one bike light and about 5% of my phone battery. I kind of wish I didn’t have such a finely-calibrated sense of how much phone battery corresponds to how much time safely trundling on a gentle downhill, but whatever. We met a guy at Camp Lake, who we fed B’s description and asked to keep an eye out. At some point the moon rose.
Once back at the trailhead, Dad drove us out to---uh, a couple of different places, in search of signal, but we ended up stopping at a gas station with a pay phone, where he called 911 and got confirmation that a search and rescue team would go out in the morning. I’ve never seen him make so many hand gestures while on the phone. I halfheartedly suggested that we go and camp at the trailhead, but he, for some mysterious reason, wanted to stay somewhere with signal so that we could establish contact with the SAR team as soon as they went out, and I was very eager for a bed. We found a motel, showered, and he I think lay awake all night while I passed out on the promise of a 6am wakeup.
At 6 we gave the deputy sheriff(!) B’s description, drove out to meet him at the pack station, and (on arrival) were told that B had been found, was fine, and was being brought back to the station imminently.
What happened? Well, we were right that B plunged ahead and got to Granite, and only there realized that we hadn’t made it up at all; he also hadn’t realized that the descent would be slower than the ascent, because of the steep downhill scramble. But he, like us, had some phone battery left, and made it down in the dark (a much more impressive feat without a trail). He found our abandoned campsite... at around 8:30. lmao.
He didn’t find his pack. He had: a walking stick, a hat, a water bottle I had irresponsibly left at the campsite, but no jacket or lighter. Lacking shelter or food, he decided to hike back to the trailhead himself, although his phone was dead and he would have to wait for the moon to rise. And he did! although he reportedly spent a lot longer in the marsh than we did, and ended up doubling back along the trail between Camp Lake and the trailhead three or four times, because he kept ending up at the creek rather than the bridge. He considered knocking on the tent door of that guy we’d told about him, but decided against it, out of politeness. Finally he made it to the trailhead, only to find no trace of us and the car gone.
“I guess I’ll hike to the freeway??” he presumably mumbled, and set out---by this point it was starting to get light, and thank god he didn’t get very far before the sheriff’s car rattled up to pick him up. He had what looked like the beginnings of frostnip, per WebMD, but he wasn’t otherwise injured and in the whole thing all he’d lost were his sunglasses.
(Everyone at the station was very kind! Not once were we asked whether we had a wilderness permit, which was just as well. We left, B commandeered directions in order to guide us to a diner, deputy sheriff & co. showed up at same diner, Twain Harte is a very small town. Instead of paying a large fine, Dad bought the SAR team breakfast, which is just another way of contributing to the community.)
...In conclusion, we should definitely have moved his pack to the much-more-visible campsite, and we should probably have stayed longer and maybe even waited until morning to hike out, or at least camped at the trailhead. But also holy shit, that was so fucking scary! I’ve been on a succession of star-crossed hikes this year which were neatly ordered by scale of dread: the Santa Fe river one where the worst I had to fear was the heat, Wedgemount where *I* was convinced I was going to die but was not at any risk, and then this. Important takeaway: preparation is worth nothing if you don’t use it; also, good to weigh likelihood of scenarios which will be made more dire by delay against scenarios which will be made more dire by haste. Real soul takeaway: walkie-talkies suck. keep a lighter in your hat.
#photoblogol#this experience DID make me oddly grateful that i didn't drag clodia out on expeditions from marmaris#like. bad enough in a country where everyone involved had insurance.
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