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#I fucked up at callbacks a little but I was hoping they wouldn't be insane about it
prudencepaccard · 2 months
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didn't get cast in ensemble. they did cast a girl at callbacks I literally taught the harmony to though. fucked up
#spent a year thinking about the audition#have actively waited for an opportunity to audition for at least seven years#show on my radar for at least 14#love to be good enough at the audition that they call you back and then have them be like#actually never mind we don't want your voice even with the other voices.#we have no place for your body on stage with the other bodies#this is what I was afraid of. this is why as soon as it was announced like two years ago this might be produced I was as#stressed as I was excited.#it's not about ego or rejection it's just about getting to do a dream there aren't many chances to fulfill. I just get fixations you know?#rehearsals start tonight without me!#only thing helping me hold onto my sanity is an inside source telling me that the director is horrible#it's hard for grapes to be sour enough for me to not to hurt bad bad bad#but it takes away a little bit of the grief#as does the fact that a friend has the kindness to try and comfort me like that#mensch behavior#I have othr things to look forward to this was just high stakes you know#not a lot of chances. dependent on others to provide chances. autistic hyperfixation on little scraps of the score#most passionate out of anyone who auditioned for sure#and I'm not even bad#I fucked up at callbacks a little but I was hoping they wouldn't be insane about it#but holding my breath until I could get the relief of knowing I was in#which would also have been incredible news in other ways too––being in any show has been a long-term goal and I would be like okay I've hit#that milestoone and should actually invest in a headshot#but I guess not!!!!!!#going to try and not be angry at myself though#I'm good and will throw myself into my work#which I have much to do of and talent to apply to
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crabs-brencil · 3 months
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ugh the second pacific rim makes me so sad because like. it's this insane amalgamation of what could've been, and im sure other people have said this before but whatever i just rewatched it and im in my feels rn so buckle up ig.
firstly - acghfshg they literally got rid of all of silly little things that made the first pacific rim *pacific rim*, except for the like two occasions when they didn't. like. soundtrack?? where did it go?? there was one (1) scene that had any sort of soundtrack usage the way the first movie did it, and it was a callback scene to the first movie. and the first pacrim was rife with ridiculous action-hero quips (think raleigh's bro saying "let's turn up the heat" in the middle of a fight) which pacrim 2 did try to do but it was so painfully a product of it's time bc dear god does it take itself way too seriously for any of the quips to land. not saying that john boyega didn't have his moments but like. they were the type of moments you'd find in any movie produced in that time.
secondly - charlie day and burn gorman put their whole actussies into that performance -- because goddamnit pacrim 2 was supposed to be an ode to hermann and newt's relationship -- only to get shafted at the last hour. like seriously their arc in pacrim 2 is so fucking heartbreaking, the two of them going from being so in tune with one another as they were at the end of pacrim 1 to drifting so far apart over ten years. and you can tell that they don't really want to believe that they don't really know each other anymore either, because like come *on* the sheer apprehensive hope on hermann's face when he first comes up to newt, and the way his face just *falls* when he asks "you won't help me?", and newt letting himself get dragged away and letting hermann go on even though he's clearly in a rush. and the way the both of them try to ignore how they've both changed over the past decade, because they have changed out of sync, and changed away from each other, and they both remind the other of what it used to be like, but it doesn't feel the same anymore because it isn't the same and just. ugh. that proverb about men and rivers. and like you can tell that what's left of newt is like. punching the prison walls of his brain, because of the sheer regret in his face when he has to hurt hermann, or the way he tries to avoid shit talking hermann when his boss clearly expects it of him. and obviously hermann having to see his friend disappear like that. going from hugging him outside the elevator because it was finally like the good old days again and they were on the same side and they would fight the bad guys and save the world again, to finding out that the person the world needed saving from was newt. and all that just to end the way it did. the both of them are entirely forgotten after hermann checks over the rocket plan and newt gets punched out.
and like obviously they were vying for a third movie because the set up for a newmann flavored reunion was literally right there, but like asfhjdg.
thirdly - mako's death??? that could've really been something, they could've used it to have like an actual lambert/jake moment, where they actually get to reconcile, but it might as well not have happened what with how the movie actually went about it.
bleh. im sure there's more to be said that im just forgetting about but whatever, it's way too late for me to care, and if any of the stuff ive said has been addressed in like interviews or smth, i wouldn't know about it as ive only seen the movies themselves and i don't particularly care to hunt down such footage.
anyways thanks for reading, if you've got this far you're a real one <3
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