lol believe me or not but I swear I just dreamed of a modern AU Edward as a school teacher with the university-sweater aesthetic but punk and his students were 6th graders or something. The kids were tired and didn’t want to study so he shrugged off the actual lesson and bought them sodas and made them play a game on the board instead (don’t remember which. I think it was some improvised poetry or something. Don’t ask why my 21yo ass was with 6th graders, but I was procrastinating the game and doodling a goth girl instead so I have no idea what the game was really about lol). He gave absolutly 0 fuck about the kids who were sleeping or talking or doing anything else instead. It was pure anarchy lol.

 One of the kid said something homophobic at some point and Edward just calmly said “In this house we’re LGBTQ+ friendly” and explained why homophobia is problematic which got chaotic and became a rant about social construction and how parents influence their kids. Before the class was over he gave back their previous test copies to the kids and one of them had a bad grade and started crying and said ‘Sir you hurted my feelings” and he immediatly went next to her to comfort her and cheer her up because man can brood all he wants he can’t resist kids. Especially crying kids. I think he gave her a piece of chocolate cake that was here for some reason, I guess. The dream cut not long after that Mom Edward™ scene. Oh. And he was a arachnophobic vampire. Yeah, you read that just fine.

 That’s it. That’s the dream. Thought I’d share some of the wtf inside of my brain with you guys so y’all are haunted with arachnophobic-SJW-Vampire-Edward-in-sweater image. You’re welcome for the curse lol