#I don’t want people to view me differently just because I’m not cisgender
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A Church of England school teacher told a pupil she was “despicable” after she refused to accept that her classmate identifies as a cat.
The 13-year-old girl and her friend were reprimanded by their teacher at Rye College, in East Sussex, on Friday at the end of a Year 8 class on “life education” in which they were told they can “be who you want to be and how you identify is up to you”.
The row, which has infuriated parents, was allegedly sparked by one of them asking a fellow pupil: “How can you identify as a cat when you’re a girl?”
Their teacher told them they were being reported to a senior leader and were no longer welcome at the school, part of the Aquinas Trust, a Church of England network of 11 schools, if they continued to express the view that only boys and girls exist.
‘They are genuinely unwell – crazy’
The Telegraph has heard a recording of the heated exchange taken by one of the pupils, in which the teacher starts by saying “how dare you – you’ve just really upset someone” by “questioning their identity”.
The pupil responded: “If they want to identify as a cat or something then they are genuinely unwell – crazy.”
The teacher then asks the girls “where did you get this idea from that there are only two genders”, adding: “It is not an opinion.”
The teacher said that “gender is not linked to the parts that you were born with, gender is about how you identify, which is what I said right from the very beginning of the lesson.”
She added that “there is actually three biological sexes because you can be born with male and female body parts or hormones” and “there are lots of genders – there is transgender, there is a gender who are people who don’t believe that they have a gender at all”.
The girls said they “don’t agree with that” and that you “can’t have” a gender because “if you have a vagina you’re a girl and if you have a penis you’re a boy – that’s it”.
The teacher interjected in a raised voice: “What do you mean you can’t have it? It’s not a law ... Cisgender is not necessarily the way to be – you are talking about the fact that cisgender is the norm, that you identify with the sexual organ you were born with, that’s basically what you’re saying, which is really despicable.”
The teacher suggested they were homophobic and confused, which the girls denied. When the pupils said their mothers would be on their side, the teacher responded: “Well that’s very sad as well then.”
The teacher said that “if you don’t like it you need to go to a different school”, adding: “I’m reporting you to [senior staff], you need to have a proper educational conversation about equality, diversity and inclusion because I’m not having that expressed in my lesson.”
‘The shutting down of debate’
The Telegraph has contacted the school and the trust for comment.
The parent of the pupil who took the recording expressed fury online and thanked “those who have been kind and supportive” to her daughter.
A parent of another Year 8 pupil at the school who has received the same lesson told The Telegraph: “I understand the point the teacher was attempting to make, what bothers me is the shutting down of debate in such a threatening and aggressive manner, which I don’t believe is appropriate in an educational setting.
“Regardless of the subject, education should serve to build awareness of differing points of view to widen the understanding of a subject. It shouldn’t be a case of indoctrination.”
The Church of England trust that manages the school along with others in East Sussex, Kent and south-east London reportedly told its teachers earlier this year to “re-educate” those using “negative language” such as “that is mental” and “stop acting like a girl”.
A spokesman for Rye College said: “We are committed to offering our pupils an inclusive education. Teachers endeavour to ensure that pupils’ views are listened to, and encourage them to ask questions and engage in discussion. Teachers also aim to answer questions sensitively and honestly.
“We strive to uphold the highest standards across the school. We will be reviewing our processes and working with the relevant individuals to ensure such events do not take place in the future.”
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Sorry if this is annoying!
Do you have any specific headcanons about sdmi?
Oh my god you’re not annoying at all!!😭 I love talking to you you’re so good! I have a few here and there so let me put them down here. so sorry a lot of this is E or Angel related!
- E has so many issues in regards to relationships whether it be romantic or otherwise. Pericles’ betrayal and being forced to leave everything and one he’d ever known at 17 did a lot of damage and I don’t think he’s ever fully recovered. It’s the reason he pushes people, including Cassidy, away. Because of his childhood best friend who he cared immensely for could betray him, why couldn’t everyone else? He’s definitely got PTSD and I feel like if he didn’t already, now has a severe anxiety disorder
- We don’t see a whole lot of Ed Machine in the series nor do we know a lot about him but I think he was closer to E and Angel than people tend to assume. Whether that means they were friends or polycule, I take either one lol
- I think Nibiru’s curse has a waaaay harder time affecting people who have someone they love. Whether that be familial, romantic, or even friendship. There is no love within the original Mystery Incorporated and they fall to shreds. MI II on the other hand comes back together through their love for one another. Marcie is able to break free of the curse because of Velma, Mayor Jones temporarily breaks free because despite the lie he does love and care about Fred, E loses both Ed and Angel one after the other and he becomes worse until he realizes Angel is gone.
- That in mind: I do think Jones cared about Fred. I think sans curse, he would’ve been a better dad and I see parts of Post-Nibiru Timeline/Sitting Room Jones peak through in both seasons. There’s a one shot fic on AO3 about him in the episode with that art monster? Highly recommend it and it’s exactly how I view him as a character
- While on the topic of Fred Jones Sr., I feel like his time in jail and away from the Planispheric disk weakened the curse’s hold. Not by a lot certainly, but by a tiny bit. I think the closer you get to the pieces the more corrupt you become
- I truly think that if things were different and E had let his walls down and interacted with the kids the way Angel did, I think the mystery inc gang would’ve gotten along with him the same way they do Angel! (This is part of why I enjoy Purposefully Silent so much lol it gives me exactly what I wish the show had) I still think everything would have gone to shit one way or another but
- We been knew that Fred is autistic but I also raise that like. All of Mystery Inc is somewhere between autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD(I say this as someone who is autistic and possibly AuDHD). With this I also think Ricky is neurodivergent
- Angel is pan, E is Bi, Daphne and Fred are also bi, I think Shaggy is pan and maybe even aro, Marcie and Velma are both lesbians. I also honestly think there’s n o t h i n g about E that screams “cisgender” but I can never decide if my answer is trans man or “he/him/they/them” non-binary
- Jones and Sheriff Stone *abso-fucking-lutely* had something going on there was nothing heterosexual present. Jones is giving gay man who’s over compensating via toxic masculinity and Sheriff Stone just seems to be into Crystal Cove Mayors
- Birds were Ricky’s hyperfixation after he met Professor Pericles. He knew all the different facts and terminology and everything. He still remembers most of it(mostly unwillingly), but it’s never relevant anymore
- I’ve said it once I’ll say it again I just think E gives off dad vibes in a way I can’t explain and this is why the Velma is Ricky and Cassidy’s daughter AU is one of my favorites and one I wanna do a fic for
I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll stop here but you’re not annoying and I’m actually so glad you asked!😭 I am always down to talk about this show and you already know I enjoy talking to you lol I feel I’m very bad at expressing my head canons so I hope this is okay!
#I won’t tag everyone I’m lazy lol#not art#headcanons#scooby doo#scooby doo mystery incorporated#sdmi#mystery incorporated
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I’m not ashamed. I’m actually feeling pretty comfortable with myself and my sexuality these days. It’s taken time, but I’m in a good place. However, it is Pride Month and honestly I find it tricky because I’m not feeling the way I think I’m meant to feel.
As a queer person – specifically, bisexual – I think I’m meant to be feeling proud, social media and the advertising emails are definitely implying that at any rate.
Before I carry on I think it’s important that I state that these are very much my own views and my own thoughts and feelings. I’m about to delve into how my own feelings come from a place that hasn’t been and isn’t always great.
This is an anonymous piece (which I will also explain more about) but what you probably need to know is I’m a white cis bisexual woman. It’s important you know these things because I come from a different place of privilege than many other queer people and I’m not here to pretend any other situation. You are reading my words right now, that’s also a position of privilege. I may be anonymous but I am not silenced or without means to having my voice heard.
I’m not ashamed.
So [REDACTED], how come you don’t feel very proud? I hear you ask. Well reader, it is what I have come to understand is deep-seated internal and external biphobia. The internal feeds my fear of the external while the tangible external fuels the internal, it’s a whole thing. It’s something I’m getting better at dealing with but it’s there.
The truth is that I have this fear that I’m just not “queer enough” which is bullshit. But also, in my real life I have been told by other queers that I’m not. I’m in a long term (and by that I mean the majority of my adult life) relationship with a cisgender man. So, I guess it is kind of reasonable for people to assume I’m straight. I love the person I love. I hope we are happy together for a long time. However, as I’ve been with this person almost all my adult life this is the relationship that outsiders judge my sexuality on. The world automatically views my relationship through a heteronormative lens.
My internalised biphobia meant that for a long time I felt it was irrelevant that I was bisexual because on the surface I appear straight. Of course, that isn’t the case because being bisexual shapes my views of the world just like being white or being born in [REDACTED], these are fundamental things about who I am that I can’t change.
This internalised biphobia is how I worry the people who already know me will react to coming out, I worry they will see it as an irrelevant fact given my current relationship status or wonder why I didn’t come out sooner. Then there are all the other standard biphobic tropes too: I’m just doing it for attention, I’m doing it to be attractive to men, I actually want an excuse to cheat on my partner – some classics. It makes it difficult to feel proud when you feel erased.
I’ve been gradually working through some of my internalised biphobia. For a long time, the place I felt most comfortable stating I’m bisexual is on anonymous equal opportunity forms, not a part of a conversation, a simple anonymous fact. If someone was to directly ask me if I was bisexual or what my sexuality is then I’d happily say (this doesn’t happen very often due to above-mentioned long-term relationship). I’m open to being open about my sexuality and there is a part of me that longs to be more open. It’s really tiring, I’ve realised, hiding that part of who I am. I feel better when I feel like I’m not trying to hide part of myself. I’ve come out to a handful of friends who have known me for a long time – they’ve all been totally cool and supportive *waves Hi, thanks – I love you*. The other thing is for the past few years I’ve found it really easy to come out to new people I’ve met. Coming out in the present feel much easier to me than coming out retroactively, it doesn’t feel like coming out – it’s just part of the process to getting to know me, people who don’t have preconceived notions of who I am, or how queer I am.
I feel better when I feel like I’m not trying to hide part of myself.
I feel old to be coming out, I’m much closer to thirty than twenty and there isn’t an expiry date on these things but I don’t find it easy to engage with Pride events. They haven’t been part of my own journey. I was maybe going to go to a Pride event in 2020 with another bisexual friend, obviously that didn’t happen. I kind of feel I might never end up going now. It’s maybe not my thing. I feel like I won’t be welcome. There is gatekeeping in the queer community and I’ve seen a lot of bisexual activists talk about this.
I’m actively trying to engage more with bisexual activists. I want to learn more about bisexual history and one day I hope to be more visibly active myself. There is so much erasure and the more I engage the less alone I feel. When I say I feel old to be coming out I think I need to make it clear that for a long time I kind of just didn’t realise I was bisexual. As a teenager maybe the thought had passed through my brain but a problem with being a child born in the 90s means that when Section 28 was lifted in 2000 I was already at school, I hadn’t leant about LGBTQ+ anything. Even after 2000 it wasn’t like suddenly I ended up in lessons where we were discussing these issues. I had teachers who had grown up and trained under Section 28. I knew a few out gay men and fewer out lesbians. Maybe I knew other queer people, I’m not really sure. Being bisexual wasn’t something I considered much because I knew I was into men and I assumed other women felt the same way as I did about women.
In the media women and men tended to end up together, and I’m into men so I ended up kind of ignoring my feelings for other genders. The biphobic tropes mixed with bisexual erasure meant that when a woman in any media had previously been with a man and was now with a woman she was now a lesbian or it was a phase, and any man who was into men in any way was automatically gay even if they were also with women (bisexual men face a different set of problems with biphobia and erasure). I don’t think I ever saw a bisexual character in anything, ever. It sounds so silly to me now to not have realised sooner that I was Bi. This is why we need to make sure the B in LGBT+ isn’t erased (and B should always stand with the T). We need to stand up and with those in our community who are facing more hate and prejudice. If we don’t all our rights will be up for debate and absolutely none of them should be. I sometimes feel guilty that by not being as out and proud as I can be I’m letting down the good side. I don’t feel like by being out my life or livelihood would be in danger but others would be.
Which is where one of my other issues with Pride lies. I want the rainbow capitalism to put their money where their supposed mouth is and make active change and support the queer community not just sell things covered in rainbows. I fundamentally believe that Pride should be protest and if I feel like it is in the future, maybe I will feel more welcome.
For now, this piece is anonymous and one day I hope that I share who I am. If you feel the same, you are queer enough and it is tricky to navigate. I hope we all feel proud one day, even if it’s just with ourselves.
I have a few recommendations for places and people who have helped me to feel more comfortable with myself and being bisexual:
The Bi-Bles volume 1 & 2 published by Monstrous Regiment – both of these really helped me to feel less alone. I’d recommended going through the authors and following them on social media (Twitter: @MonstrousRgmt).
Bi the Way: The Bisexual Guide to Life by Lois Shearing comes out later this month and if the authors previous writing is anything to go by this on going to be brilliant Twitter @LoShearing. Lois is one half of the AmBIssadors (Twitter @TheAmBIssadors) with Vaneet Mehta (Twitter @nintendomad888) who is the creator of #BisexualMenExist and another brilliant writer.
Bi History (Twitter @bihistory) run by Mel Reeve (Twitter @melreeve) does exactly what it says on the tin and is a brilliant archive.
Mòrag Lee (Twitter @moadore) runs The B Agenda Podcast (Twitter @bagenda_pod) which is bisexuals chatting away about being bisexual and other things beginning with B.
#bisexuality#bisexual community#lgbtq community#lgbtq#bi#support bisexuality#lgbtq pride#bisexuality is valid#pride#bi tumblr#bisexual#bi pride#bisexual nation#bisexual pride#bisexual education#bisexual youth#support bisexual people#bisexual men#respect bisexual people#bisexual rights#bisexual people
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Okay, AG did terrible with the HP line, regardless but I am a conservative trying to understand.. are people just mad because she doesn't have the same POV, because what I got from her tweets was she was being so polite about having a different opinion, even saying she supports lgbt, more than AG even is.. and as for her racism.. is this only because of fictional racist commentary? because it's fair to acknowledge it is a problem also in the fictional world too.. doesn't mean the author is in fact...
all that being said and I still think she leans left, probably is feminist anyway, and did not support trump or the conservative party even in Britain.. so are we all just going to assume she is all the above... as in are we to assume conservatives are as such, and that she must be one ??
my other question is, who is JKR talking about... like is she actually referring to trans women who are using the platform wrongly, as in taking advantage of women's sports and privacy? or is she really meaning harm to the entire community... I just think there needs to be context considered, and rules as well as exceptions because we do have young girls to protect either way. most importantly why are we buying AG when they never show their support for LGBT to begin with.. ever..
Just to make it clear to everyone who follows me, this is an American Girl blog.
I don’t want it to become a political blog. That’s why I’m responding to a bunch of asks in one post so it doesn’t clutter up the dash more than the previous asks already have. The only reason I’m even discussing JKR or trans issues is because of the AG x HP collab. Bear that in mind before sending me another ask in the future.
Read the entire post below the cut before sending me another anon about JKR, trans issues, or religion as it relates to views on LGBTQ+ issues.
Also I genuinely have no idea who sent what anon, so I’m going to reply to a few of the asks in my inbox that all have the same kinds of questions. I’ve put them in the order I think they go in. I think there are two of you at least? A couple of these messages are more polite than others, so going forwards don’t come at me making assumptions, regardless of who sent each one.
Sticking it under a cut because this could get very long. Also TW for discussion of sexual assault and general transphobia.
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First thing I'm going to say is I don't really care where JKR leans on other political issues. I'm not interested in talking about conservatives vs liberals. I'm talking about transphobic views specifically. At no point have I referred to JKR as a conservative, so I’m not sure how this got brought up in this discussion.
I’m also not interested in discussing trans rights and personhood as a whole through the lens of potential criminality. The number of transgender people “using the platform wrongly” is so, so, so small, if it even exists at all.
- We have literally no evidence that there has ever been a trans person who assaulted a cisgender woman or girl in a bathroom. Or a locker room. Or anywhere that’s designated as being exclusively a space for women. Or really anywhere. (It doesn’t even matter how someone identifies in whatever bathroom because sexual assault is still illegal. Please just let people pee comfortably while minding their own business.)
- Transgender people are far more likely to be sexually assaulted than cisgender people. Full stop.
- There is not enough research done on transgender athletes to make a blanket statement about whether they should be allowed in sports or not. We are doing the research now. From what we know right now, trans women have some advantages in sports...but they also have some disadvantages as well. I strongly suggest you read the article in full because it’s the most thorough, least-biased article I’ve found on the topic.
While we’re here, did you know that cisgender women undergo hormone replacement therapy all the time? After menopause, many cisgender women have to take hormones (the same ones prescribed to transgender women) to replace estrogen no longer made sufficiently by their own body. You didn’t bring that up at all, but I’m bringing it up because I think it’s always important to remember that the dividing line between "cis person things” and “trans person things” isn’t so clear-cut. We’re not some foreign species. Trans people are just like you.
Now, onto JKR.
You ask “is she really meaning harm to the entire community” and to that I say it doesn’t really matter. She IS harming the entire community. Her rhetoric has been used to strike down important protections for LGBTQ+ people.
The number one concrete thing that tells everyone that JKR does not support trans people is her repeated support of the LGB Alliance. This organization claims to support lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and other individuals under the gay umbrella. However, the LGBA is an anti-trans hate group. If you don’t believe me, name one single campaign that the organization has funded that does not involve trans people or gender identity. Everything they put money into has to do with blocking transgender people from accessing healthcare and other necessary services, rather than helping gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.
She has expressly denied the fact that transgender women are women and gotten upset at others for affirming that fact. This brings me to some issues with how she and other trans-exclusionary feminists define womanhood. Are we really defining “woman” as a set of genitals? That seems demeaning, especially given that there are many people out there who are literally born without functioning reproductive organs. What about the idea that men are physically stronger than women? What happened to the feminist ideals from the 1970s where “women can do anything men can do”? Also I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to cross someone as strong as Rhea Ripley, regardless of what gender I was assigned at birth. JKR’s narrow definition of womanhood denies the womanhood and even personhood of people who don’t fit the stereotypical ideals of the female sex. That’s not just trans-exclusionary. That’s blatant sexism, probably of an internalized variety. You know a woman is having a tough time in life when she’s stereotyping and demeaning her own gender.
Additionally, another not-so-great thing JKR does to both trans and cis people: whenever someone agrees with her views on transgender people being some sinister threat to women, she’ll post their support message in a screenshot where she blocks out their username. When she doesn’t agree with them, however, she puts them on blast, retweets them directly, and sends her supporters after them to harass them. That’s dangerous behavior.
You ask “are people just mad because she doesn't have the same POV” and to that I say it’s certainly not about that. A “different viewpoint” does not demean other people. We call it hatred and bigotry. A normal, healthy, different viewpoint is something like “I think we should put tax money into space exploration programs,” not “I think transgender people are criminals who shouldn’t be a legally protected group.” And that’s exactly how many people see us. That’s how JKR talks about us. JKR makes it clear at every turn that she sees transgender people as criminals waiting for an opportunity to attack someone in a bathroom, even though studies show we do not do that. How is that a neutral viewpoint? How is that just a different POV that should be respected? I don’t respect people who demean others for just living their lives.
As for her racism, it’s not just the core Harry Potter books. It’s not just allusions to chattel slavery and antisemitism, though those are pretty bad if you actually reread the books through a critical lens. Her expanded-world “American” wizards take a questionable turn. She rewrites Native American/Indigenous legends and claims them as her own. Imagine if your family wrote a really good story and then some wealthy woman who doesn’t share your history or culture decides to rewrite it, misrepresent you and your family, and claim the royalties as her own. Native American and Indigenous people from tribes all across North America have been begging for all people to treat their stories with respect for generations. However, a rich, white, British lady is making bank off of stories that she isn’t even representing properly. That’s not cool. Rewriting a culture’s history for one’s own benefit is a racist thing to do.
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while i understand people are capable of being religious and good, then why do we have a hard time accepting JKR or some conservatives that share differences, but both to me can be respectful about it, unless you think only small minded about conservatives or conservative leaning. because it just seems like you don't share the same feelings about politics, even though we know just like you said, religious people can be allies, or otherwise be respectful people why are you not extending the same treatment? it just seems hypocritically biased, and on top of that how do you believe in any religion that shares the commandments that openly talk against lgbt still..like do you just ignore it..?
This ask makes no sense because we jump from religion to JKR to me not being conservative to the Ten Commandments. I don’t know where to start on this ask because I’m not totally sure what the question is.
I think you’re asking “If religious people can respect LGBTQ+ people, why can’t you respect JKR for having a different viewpoint?” If I’m reading that right, that doesn’t make sense. Those are two separate issues. It seems you are equating JKR and transphobia with having religious views, despite the fact that she has never cited a religious reason for being against rights for trans people.
We’re still not talking about conservatism as a whole. We’re not talking about religion as a whole. If this is the anon who sent that first ask about religion, AG, and LGBTQ+ rights to me, you apparently did not read my response at all. You can be religious and/or conservative and also support human rights, something that you state and then proceed to forget in the above ask that I’m responding to now (once again assuming this is the same anon).
Also you need to read the Ten Commandments again because they say literally nothing about being LGBTQ+. Literally nothing. The parts in the Bible that some people interpret as talking about being gay likely had more to do with temple prostitution, rape, and incest. (TW for anyone reading that link for discussion of those topics.) And there’s some theological evidence that Adam and Eve were the first transgender people. I can’t find a link for that (I’ll update this post when I do), but in summary some theologians consider this because Eve, a woman, came from the rib of Adam, a man. In order for this to happen, Eve would have to be transgender and/or Adam would have to be initially genderless.
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btw I am a different anon, that other one was rude, doubt they are conservative also.
??? So everyone whose tone you disagree with is not conservative? Maybe check that logic, anon, because I think you’ll find that many people, conservatives included, can be jerks on the internet.
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like if you say boycott Jkr, but aren't telling people to quit religion that purposefully won't marry lgbt couples, and believe you're sinning..and then the same with supporting AG who is obviously supportive of jkr.. I just mean to say your hatred towards one woman, who was abused by her first husband btw, is more than the religious leaders that enforced conversion therapy etc... like how is that something to get past?
You’re making assumptions and putting words in my mouth. Where have I said that people should keep beliefs that are homophobic under the guise of religion? Where have I said I support conversion therapy or the refusal to marry LGBTQ+ couples?
People can follow a religion and not hold homophobic or transphobic beliefs. People who do hold those beliefs should challenge them and work to become more supportive of people who are just trying to live their lives. End of discussion.
Where have I even said I hate JKR? I actually feel sorry for her because of all the times she has made it clear that she doesn’t have faith in women to be strong and make their own decisions in life. I hate some of her views, not her. Views can change with time, but I won’t be supporting her financially until change happens. JKR actually holds a few views that I agree with, but she disagrees with my mere existence. She demeans me and my fellow transgender people. She insults the intelligence and strength of female-bodied people. As a result, I don’t want her or her works in my life, and I think any other rational person shouldn’t either. Simple.
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I am still open to talking about the above issues, though future replies may be much shorter or simply a link to this ask because I feel like I’ve said most of what needs to be said already. Read the whole post and the links before sending me another ask on these topics.
As per usual, anything that is directly and obviously transphobic or otherwise bigoted will not be published or responded to. I won’t reward purposeful and open hatred with attention.
Genuinely, I hope this post was helpful to people who actually want to learn. I hope those people have a good day.
#ask#oh boy howdy this is a long one#I think the mobile formatting for this is going to suck so my apologies to everyone on mobile#I can't fix that but let me know if the desktop version is wonky and I'll see what I can do
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Ok but seriously I don’t want to explain it any other way than I have myself, but I also wanna finally say something because idk it doesn’t seem like I’m just trying to fit in now? Brain diff I know, so anyway
Heyyy guysss :3 In your guys’ terms, I’m perhaps not so cisgender as you think. In fact, I wouldn’t know where to start explaining it in a way you’d understand. I guess a good place to start is I had gender dysphoria growing up. I won’t go into why and all the reasons, that’s a topic for another day but I did. Long story short, I didn’t ‘grow out of it’ so to say, but I came to realise at least to me it doesn’t really matter.
The way I feel about things a lot comes down to it doesn’t really matter too much. I believe that i’m me, whatever that is and whatever makes that up and it’s as simple as that. People can view me how they want, and people can say what they want, but how I feel is i’m just me (like my insta bio says, “I’m me, yes me, its just me 😴” lmao).
So basically I feel certain ways for both sides of the coin, but i’ve never been really sure what the tipping point is I guess. I don’t want to go out and say that i’m non binary or something, I don’t believe in myself explaining it in ways like that, but I have always felt as though I don’t fully resonate with one side entirely, because I have this whole bunch of other traits and feelings and reasons that I haven’t ever talked about or told anyone, or even really shown since I have a terribly not open family that I have never expressed anything not even average things too 💀 so i’m good at acting. But in the end as I said I believe i’m just me and everything that comes with it, so I don’t really need answers for that contempt. It’s kinda influenced from my psychology side come to mention it, but anyway yeah that’s the latest with me.
Perhaps you won’t even consider what i’m saying as the same thing you, and that’s totally fine. I’m not aiming to insult or anything like that on anything you believe in. This is just my thoughts and how I’ve felt for a very long time, and how I’ve come to understand it. But also this is how I feel so in the end it’s how I feel so thats that. Im not specifically labelling myself or such, i’m just saying I have mixed feelings and thats about it lmao
Was a good time to talk about it too, since the new Valorant agent is coming out soon and is revealed tmr. Across all games ive always ‘mained’ characters that I feel express a part of me. As someone whos created characters, creating characters that resonate with people is the exact point!! So most people do this, be it different ones. But for instance, Jett has the cocky sarcasm that I use all the time. Sometimes I dont even play them necessarily for the actual gameplay, I just like the character design. But yeah Jett has my cocky sarcasm, Yone has the older brother and endless work to be done, Genji was the anime moment and so on… So yeah with the coming release of a this [presumably basically confirmed] non binary character, it just surfaced those thoughts and that part of me.
OK RAMBLE OVER ITS 4AM
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I’m a cisgender bisexual woman and sex worker, and I’ve been dating a wonderful man for the past eight months. Everything is perfect: He’s smart, handsome, cares for me and we have an amazing time together. He even cut ties off with his parents when they insulted me because I am a sex worker. Everything feels right. Except that he berates me for my job.
I began doing sex work three years ago to help pay for university. I’m estranged from my family, and I’ve never had any financial help, everything I want and need I provide for myself. I used to bust my ass working multiple jobs at once to pay for school, food, and rent, but sex work has allowed me to increase my income while also exploring my sexuality.
My boyfriend has known that I do sex work since our first date, and he said he was okay with it then. But lately, he’s been making some really shitty comments. It started subtly: “Do you actually enjoy doing sex work?”, “You will catch many STI”, and “Don’t you worry about how it’s going to affect your future?” to “I don’t get why you have to do this,” and “Your body shouldn’t be for other people, it should be for me.” Recently, he confessed it makes him “sick” to think about me with other people. When I tell him that these comments hurt me, he responds by saying that my work hurts him because he felt “humiliated.”
I’m hurt and confused by all this. He’s making me feel ashamed when I actually love what I do. I don’t want to quit sex work, but I don’t want to lose him either. Do I have to leave my boyfriend or my job? What should I do? Many of my sisters, brothers, friends and mentors have been sex workers. Almost everything of value that I know I have learned from sex workers. And I have lost many dear people to whorephobia and anti-sex worker hatred and violence.
hmm i wish i had a clear coincise answer for you but the truth is you have to ultimately decide for yourself and choose what you would miss the most in the aftermath of your choice. if your partner offered to provide for you so that you never have to work in that field again, and you also get to be with him, would you be happy? would you retire with a light heart? would your relationship with him go back to normal so easily and immediately? are you even sure that you quitting sex work would make things alright again between you two? if sex work is just a means of sustenance for you then you could try bringing up this scenario when you're talking to him but the thing is i don't think you see sex work as being just a source of income in your life. it seems like sw is so much more than that to you. it sounds like you were able to find a sense of community and bodily autonomy through sex work. so i dont think you could just shrug it off, move on and leave it behind you, even if you somehow found the way to pay rent and live comfortably without it.
and i also think that jealousy is human when love is involved. your man probably didn't think much of it when you first told him on your first date because he didn't feel too strongly about you back then, but then he caught feelings and so of course his views about what you do started to also change. i dont blame him, i just think he was naive not to predict that this would happen sooner or later. he definitely overestimated his own open-mindedness.
are you certain that he won't hold sex work against you for the rest of your life, even if you end up quitting for his sake? won't he always be lowkey bitter and passive aggressive that you slept with other people for a prolonged chunk of your relationship? only you can know the answers to these questions. and if you don't, then you should definitely bring them to his attention.
personally i wouldn't tell a woman to quit her education or career over a man, so I don't see why it should be any different with you just because your career happens to be sex work.
but you are the only person who ultimately knows just how much you'd miss this man if he broke up with you over this. because that's a very real possibility at this point. i truly don't envy you or the dilemma you're tackling right now and I'm aware I've raised more questions than I've answered, but i deeply hope you can sort it out and emerge from this dilemma holding what you cherish the most, whether it be the man or your career 💖
#you guys have such complex lives#i could never keep my sanity. I'd just snap and pull a gone girl#thankfully im just a 27yo married old woman#ask#anon#anonymous
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Am I a boy or a girl, somewhere in between,
Or nothing at all ?
I can’t help think as I stare at myself in the mirror
with my thin hair that goes past my shoulders
That maybe I’m just lying to myself
That the need to be masculine , the new name that I have chosen , the discontent I feel towards my body
Stems from a place of mental illness and insecurity .
After all, I was always comfortable just being simply a girl my entire life thus far
I wonder what has changed.
I’m sick of trying to figure myself out
My family would never look at me the same if I told them
The world would refuse to accept my truth
Everybody would treat me differently, and that’s not what I want
So I guess I’ll choose to be nothing at all.
#vent journal#tw vent#tw dysphoria#gender confusion#vent poetry#I’m so tired of this guys#I feel disgusting in dresses now#I love feminine things but they don’t feel right on me#I’d love to get a binder someday and stop my periods and cut my hair short#I don’t feel wholly like a man though#I’m afraid of telling someone and then going back on it because I don’t feel like that anymore#I’m still closeted about my sexuality but now my gender identity is complicating things#there’s no going back once I tell my family and friends yknow#I hate feeling like this sm#I don’t want people to view me differently just because I’m not cisgender#I wish the world was simpler
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Also sorry-not-sorry to be salty but- “Polyam people are the worst and not queer lol uwu”...
Do you think that a Straight Person (by which I mean a cisgender, heterosexual, monogamous, allo, non-queer person) is going to CARE about the difference between being polyam and any other kind of queer? Do you think they start harassing someone for having a non-normative relationship and then they go “Oh wait, you’re polyam? Oh, well, THAT’S okay!”
I promise you, that’s not how it fucking works. No, they see a polyam relationship and they say “Oh, so you’re a cheater” (like they say to bisexuals) “oh, so you’re greedy” (like they also say to bisexuals), “oh, that’s sinful” (like they say to all of us) “oh, I can’t have that around my kids” (like they say to all of us), “oh, well, it’s not a REAL relationship” (like they say to all of us), “oh that’s WRONG that shouldn’t be allowed” (like they say. To fucking. ALL OF US QUEERS).
Even the straight cisgender polyam man (and I’m dating one) doesn’t get a fucking pass like y’all here seem to think he does. He doesn’t get accepted. His friends either view him as a player and downplay the value of his relationships (like a lot of y’all also do, don’t think I don’t see the fucking gross way you like to act like men are incapable of forming loving relationships with their partners, you assholes) as “hook ups” or they view him as a cheater and a liar or they view him as a slut. He can’t marry all of his partners, even if they all want to be in that kind of committed relationship. He can’t easily get all of his partners access to his healthcare, like one can for a spouse. He may face discrimination in housing, employment, and access to other services. Like all of us queers do.
And to make matters worse? When he, or any other polyam person reaches out to the LGBT+/Queer communities for support? He gets the bullshit I see in the tags on that reblog. The bullshit I’ve seen from countless other queer folks about how polyam people don’t belong.
Fuck off. Y’all did this to me when I first came out as bisexual, and then when I discovered that pansexual is also a label that works. Y’all do it to my wife because she’s not trans in a way y’all like. Y’all do it to me now that I’ve come out as genderqueer/nonbinary.
It’s old, it’s worn, and I’m sick of it. If you can’t support other queer folks- and I mean ALL other queer folks, not just the ones who look and love and act like you, then get the fuck out.
#queer#ok i am salty#sick of it#tell me you don't give a shit about the health of our community without telling me you don't give a shit about the health of our community#polyam people are queer and are MORE than welcome here
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Miss Artiphys - Transgender representation in 1996!
This is a relevant and relatable conversation in the Season 2 episode, ‘Here She Comes… Miss Amphipolis’, between Xena and a transgender character. Even though this episode is considered a comedy, it’s very heartfelt and honest because of the themes of domestic abuse and transgender representation. I’m so happy they were able to air this episode for being in the year of 1996 when these controversial themes were rarely talked about on TV. Especially being transgender. The character, Miss Artiphys, played by drag queen; Karen Dior, talks about how your power and worth is taken away from you just because you’re different. Making you feel like you don’t belong in the world, in your community, or just in general perception. It’s something anyone could resonate with but never more so than those who identify by a different gender to what they’re born as and want to be accepted for it. It’s not clear whether the character is transgender or just a transvestite but I would say this conversation sub-textually implies that Miss Artiphys is a transgender because it seems that they feel much happier as a woman than a man which makes a huge difference between them as a transgender isn’t just gender expression but also personal identification. It’s who the person is instead of who they perform as for entertainment purposes. So I very much think of this character as transgender.
It’s a cruel world for transgenders at the moment in America, what with the Texas bathroom bill and transgenders being banned from joining the U.S. military. Including transgender veterans being fired from their job just because of their identity. And you know, a lot of people think these people choose to be this way. They don’t. Much like a homosexual doesn’t choose to be one. It’s what they innately are and how they feel inside. They only choose to embrace it instead of deny it. Unlike some cisgender and heterosexual individuals, who feel so uncomfortable with the thought of change and someone being different from them, to the point where they consider them dangerous and a threat to society. I’ll never understand it. It’s beyond me to comprehend why transphobia or homophobia exists. Why being LGBTQ is even an issue at all... Especially nowadays when a good portion of the human population is LGBTQ or questioning. And they still face this today! This injustice and this discrimination! It has to end!
I think the character, Nomi Marks, from the show, ‘Sense8′, played by a real trans actor; Jamie Clayton, said it best: “The real violence, the violence I realized was unforgivable, is the violence we do to ourselves, when we’re too afraid to be who we really are.”
If we can’t believe in ourselves and accept ourselves for what we truly are, how can we ever expect to be happy in life, and to live peacefully with others? Because what matters at the end of the day, regardless what philosophy or faith you follow, is to believe in yourself. First and foremost, that should be the most important moral you have. Believing in yourself and what you’re capable of doing. All other values fall under that. And if you don’t see it that way, then you’ll never be happy, because mindset makes the difference. Your thoughts and feelings are key to this! You must understand that you only view the world and other people through the filters of how you think and feel about it and them. You don’t see any other way. A lot of people don’t realize that the subjective is all they have. They know that experience requires consciousness, but they don’t understand that that means every experience is different for everyone. So, they treat them with the misunderstanding that everyone thinks and feels the same. The only way to resolve this is for us all to be more aware of how we treat ourselves and each other. To listen to and to care for ourselves and each other. Our thoughts and feelings can turn the tables on us otherwise. And we wonder why so many people struggle with mental illness. It’s obvious why to me.
Rest in power, Geoffrey Gann (aka; Karen Dior). And thank you for portraying this character that provided much needed representation for the trans community.
This is for you @frankierose. I might not know what it’s like to be trans and therefore not understand what you have and must still go through… but just like Xena, know that you will always have an ally in me. This is the original commentary for ‘Here She Comes… Miss Amphipolis’ that I wanted to show you the other day but couldn’t find it. Perhaps the post got deleted or something… who knows? Nevertheless, you can read the commentary now. I hope you like it.
#xena warrior princess#here she comes… miss amphipolis#miss artiphys#transgender representation#karen dior#geoffrey gann#xena#lucy lawless#LGBTQ#nomi marks#jamie clayton#sense 8#frankierose#i am an ally
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Hi, it’s me again, it honestly feels like I’m stalking you :(, but your anons bring up really good points in conversation, and I wanted to provide some perspective on the use of the word queer and bi-gender.
I think what’s important to consider during this discussion is the reclaiming of words, queer can be pejorative depending on the context, and it causes a bevy of unpleasant emotions when used in a derogatory way. Queer in the past used to represent abnormality, it was a means to justify the mistreatment and unfairness that we received just because we identified a certain way, or because of the people we choose to love, as if we were unworthy of that because of our identification.
The use reclamation of the word queer is not necessarily a new, it actually dates back to the stonewall riots where the saying “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” was formed, as a way to tell people that they could no longer marginalize us, it was a very big F you to people. And while the history of queer is not only complicated and can bring painful memories and validated hurt, queer now is used as an inclusive term for the wide range of spectrum of identities that live within the LGBTQIA+ community. Instead of having to label yourself in various different identities, queer now gives us a chance to be whomever we want to be without having to label ourselves, it’s an umbrella term. QUEER also happens to be gender neutral, it allows us to also acknowledge identities left out in “LGBT”, (this was before we became more accepting and welcoming of other identities) & most importantly, it allows us to include members of the community from cultures that express non-heterosexual, non-cisgender identities with different words and customs. (Taken from an article)
Having discussion of how people identity is uncomfortable but it is important to have these conversations so that we may grow, learn, and progress, so that we can create safe spaces for people within our community. Which is why I want to mention my own experience, because I can’t talk about anyone else’s, I only know my own, but I hope it helps in providing a perspective. My labels of identification are Bisexual, Non-binary & my pronouns are they/them, but I go by Queer. I have always felt like I was forced to identify to how I presented, my personality is very different and I was often told that I didn’t act how I looked “the inner and outer isn’t matching, Arabella”. I tried to explore both genders to see which one I felt more comfortable in, and neither felt right to me, I drove myself into alienation because I felt like I couldn’t find my place in the world and thus, how could I relate to the other people in my community if I didn’t know who I was. It wasn’t until I came up on the word Winkte of the Lakota people, of two individual spirits that co-existed within a person. You didn’t have to choose to be one or the other, you also didn’t have to lessen one to make the other bigger, they just lived in perfect harmony. As I started exploring more of what that meant I realized that that represented me, I felt like I finally knew who I was, and I didn’t need to choose one or the other, I could just be me regardless of my personality, regardless of how I physically presented, and thus my identification of Non-binary began. But because I still identified romantically as Bisexual, I didn’t want to just fit myself into those two boxes, and as I learned more about the word queer, it helped me understand the inclusivity of the word.
How you present vs how you feel is your own journey of identity, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that presenting a way does not confirm someone’s identity. And I know this may come off as mean and I truly do not mean it to sound that way, but we need to grow from these outdated views IF we want to keep progressing and supporting members of our community, if we don’t, how are we better than the people who tried to alienate us because they didn’t accept us?. You don’t have to understand what bi-gender means, you don’t even have to personally like it, but we sure as hell better respect it. Our spectrums is wide and large and filled with beautiful colors. Let’s work together to keep those colors bright and let’s look forward to more colors joining our community. 🥰
@arabellafella has good stuff to say so I'm just gonna hit the "read this they're cool" button. :)
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Have aces always been considered LGBT? No.
I’m massively bored and massively annoyed at people circulating images of radfems to support their arguments. So here’s another ace discourse post.
A fringe argument in ace discourse has been “Asexuals have always been considered LGBT!” even though there has never been any noted reference to cisgender, straight aces in LGBT spaces prior to like... 2010. And the LGBT spaces prior to 2010 that let in cisgender, straight aces were just GSAs (which already let in cishets) in high schools or colleges.
And there is a reason for it.
Part of the reason is the changing definition of asexual. The AVEN triangle is based on the Kinsey “Group X” definition where Group X meant just... not having sex. Kinsey (who should not be cited with adoration for coming up with asexuality, as he was an awful person) did not create the “scale” to address who is or is not LGBT.
Then, radical feminists (ie also not an LGBT group) defined asexuality as viewing sex as nonessential to relationships. This bore an iconic image used to defend aces as LGBT to this day:
The image is from “off our backs” which is a radical feminist publication. This particular group was “Lesbians Activists at Barnard (College).” This was not listing LGBT identities (thus why straight was up there) but was listing identities you could have as a radical feminist. Similarly, the “Asexual Manifesto” was published by radical feminist Lisa Orlando who published it through New York Radical Feminists. And talks about asexuality being a choice, not an identity.
At the same time, asexual was referenced by a trans liberation mag, as we can see from ANOTHER image used by inclusionists:
This is an image just saying that all trans people should be liberated no matter if they are straight, gay, or anything else. It should be noted that since this was published in 1970, it was functioning under the same understanding of asexual as used by the radical feminists who defined asexual as seeing “ sex as nonessential to a satisfying relationship.” Not at all our modern definition of asexual.
So, we’re into 1970 and no one is considering ace to be LGBT. And yet it exists as DISTINCT from bisexual, so all of you fuckers can stop with the “actual cishet aces were considered to be bisexual” cause... no they weren’t.
Skip to the first proto ace community as listed by aven itself, Zoe O’Reilly’s “My Life as an Amoeba.” Which speaks of envy towards LGBT people, boasts of asexuality being about not fucking or dating and how that makes them better than teen moms, and defines asexuality how we would aroace. So, different ace definition than today... still not considered LGBT.
AVEN’s creation is messy as fuck and struggles to define asexuality but decides that basically any person who relates to non-sexuality belongs there. Neato.
May 2003 on AVEN: “Let’s change LGBT to LGBTA.” David Jay, founder of AVEN, says, actually, he’s already done so by making his universitys acronym “ LGBTTQQPFAGIBDSM “ (spot the slur, look hard at the inclusion of BDSM). People make “LOL SO MANY LETTERS” jokes that homophobes make about LGBT to this day. Then:
“The ace is for ally bro” and Aven guy says, “Actually, allies are queer.”
So, 2003... aces aren’t LGBT. And David Jay is a fucking freak. Also, someone brought the thread back 8 yaers later to say “Ew aces aren’t LGBT like those sinners.” Oops.
In 2010, aces decided to make their own flag. Some like stripes because it’s “Very LGBT” and well... here are some responses:
So, already an acknowledgment that they might not be LGBT. But calls LGBt people “Alternate sexualities” which... die.
“The gays get a lot of guff, right? Because of their rainbow flag” not OUR rainbow flag, lol. Also, wtf and then someone else points out the a is for ally anyways
In 2010.
In 2015, aces started the #GiveItBack campaign after GLAAD (and then HRC in 2016) said the A is for Ally. You can go on twitter and see aces tweeting about the #GiveItBack campaign if you don’t believe me, lol.
So, if aces want to claim that aces have always been LGBT... I gotta say... history is not on your side and, “No, no, I swear they were actually considered bisexual” doesn’t work because your own images include people listing out bisexual and asexual as separate identities.
Anyways, this post is long as fuck but only took 20 minutes. And will ONLY take me 20 minutes because I’m not arguing with people who want to defend an image of a radfem, an out of context image about trans liberation, or Kinsey lmao. Anyone who wants to argue will be laughed at and/or blocked.
Cause... listen... even aces in the time periods y’all are claiming you were included are saying you weren’t. You’re just wrong. Lol.
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so, I have a Jewish trans character that describes herself with clay-like metaphors, even using the nickname Golem before she left. the question is if this is apt; she does compare herself(her body, the color of her skin) to clay, albeit one incomplete save for breaths of life during study. I know this is a similar ask, but is Golem the right metaphor?
Jewish trans character compares herself to a Golem
I can't speak for all trans people, or even all Jewish trans folks, but... this feels weird to me. A golem is explicitly non-human, and in the lore is without a proper neshamah (soul). I kind of get where you might be coming from with this, but I'm not a soulless, clay, created-being, I'm a nonbinary, Jewish, human being. If anything I feel like I just get to keep my shabbat neshamah (the additional soul given over shabbat) all the time.
I suppose if you had a host of Jewish trans characters, and just this one had this conception of herself I would feel more comfortable. It may be different for binary trans people, but since the question is if it is apt... for me it is not.
-- Dierdra
An alternative comparison
Dierdra, I’m not trans so your view will be the one to go with but I have a thought about this…so Adam was the first human and was formed by G-d out of clay or something fairly similar (Adam actually being a play on the Hebrew word for ‘ground’). And Adam was also genderless until Chava was separated out and they became the first man and woman, right? Appreciating that genderless in the way that Adam was is not necessarily the same as non-binary and is definitely not the same as binary trans, but this still shows that there are more ways to identify than just cis man and cis woman. So, I’m wondering if that could potentially be a more successful metaphor for OP to use, as a way for the character to affirm that they were directly created by G-d and that there is a precedent in the Torah for the way they identify?
Also, you don’t mention sensitivity readers in your answer but I’m interested in whether you think this would be a piece that requires one? I guess I’m just wondering because Jewish and trans is not a combination you would have many examples to draw from in the media and it’s quite hard to nail either identity if you don’t know what you’re doing (I had a sensitivity reader for my trans character, she was awesome and pointed out things I could not have spotted even though I’d tried my best to do the research).
-- Shoshi
More suggestions and cautions
I think a sensitivity reader makes sense here. Jewish representation is already very hit or miss, but trans representation is so often mishandled that, even with the best of intentions (which this seems to be), it would be easy to do harm. I absolutely vote for finding trans women, ideally Jewish, to read this work and see how it feels to them. I'm nonbinary, so I certainly can't speak for trans women. I do know that transmisogyny is violent, vicious, and insidious. We all need to prioritize protecting trans women, all the time, so treating this story with care is an absolute necessity.
As for the story of Adam and Chava being formed together, out of clay/earth, and the things that can be drawn from that (that there are more ways to be than cisgender, that people may change over time, that God was there for every moment of Adam and Chava's developing identity) I've always found it powerful, and in my reading, very inclusive. I think there's certainly things there that could be drawn on by the author.
I spent so long trying to work on a second take of this question, because I didn't feel done with it. My initial reaction was definitely "that's not me" but, truth be told, I also adore golems, and I see the value that could be had in a narrative like this. I think it could be done, but my earlier objections still apply. Golems are created by a human, and given imperfect life (not having a soul). That's the part I object to, but it's possible that the character could be looking at herself, perhaps forming her own body like clay (though not all trans binary or nonbinary folks transition in this way), and perhaps emotionally forming herself into a protector of other Jewish trans women.
I don't want to come down too hard on the idea, because I think it has something to it, but I encourage caution, and attention to counteracting comparisons between a trans woman, coming into her own, and a non-human, unsouled being. I think it's a case where the author will need to be explicit about this character's humanity. Don't leave it up to subtext, or assume that it will be read, make sure that we know, in no uncertain terms, that she's got a banging neshamah, was at Sinai along with the rest of us, and that her nickname is about strength, and the plasticity of our physical forms, and not her worth as a woman.
-- Dierdra
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Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency
Okay so this is it going to be another long one
All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from
Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.
autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.
Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.
now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.
because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”
no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!
5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.
in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!
now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.
now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..
xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.
Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.
In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????
In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”
Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.
#autism#actuallyautistic#trans#nonbinary#xenogenders#neopronouns#lgbtq#adhd#nuerodivergent#gender identity
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OP of that awful @buffalojill post that’s circulating blocked me so now I’m not allowed to make any sort of reply to replies to my argument (dumb)
But I wanted to say this in response to one of the replies my reblog got (because I’m not allowed? to argue my point anymore?)
@ferallindsay
The only reason I want to respond to this is because you said that i was “coming for trans women over it”
I never blamed trans women for anything??
Historically, trans women have it so much worse than trans men. There are many, many documented cases of trans women being arrested on grounds of 'being kinky' and 'fetishistic cross-dressing'. This is a stigma that many trans women have to fight.
I'm not sure how you've decided that my argument makes me 'a groomer' when the concept I've brought to the table is that: when people view all trans people as fetishes, this includes children.
Which, i think we can all agree is. A. Bad. Thing.
This is why I believe that fetish/kinks need to be separated from gender identity.
There are trans people who are asexual! There are trans people who experience sexual attraction! These two things don't make anything different about my argument.
When you argue that 'because people already view trans people as inherently sexual, then we have to accept that as reality' that doesn't make any sense. This is the kind of stigma that gays and lesbians had to fight: the fact that they exist is not a kink.
Why is it any different for trans people? This is the way we are. If anything, it should be easier to understand because understanding that trans people exist means that you understand that sex ≠ gender, right? And that sexual orientation ≠ gender?
The argument to get people to understand that gays and lesbians have the right to exist in public spaces (ex: hold hands, kiss) is that these acts are not inherently sexual, and that was how we fought the conservative mindset of 'think of the children'.
No one is being inherently sexual by being gay. No one is being inherently sexual by being trans.
I understand sex positivity, and how that is a big thing in the LGBTQIA+ community. I understand the fact that the kink community has played a big role in the community as a whole! But I also believe that being trans is not inherently fetishistic.
These are thoughts that can and should co-exist!
By saying 'people will always view trans people as fetishes, so they are' you've effectively argued the fact that trans youth are fetishistic.
I just wanted to clear this up, mostly: I have not blamed trans women for anything. I am a trans man and I understand that being a trans woman is much more difficult.
The obstacles that trans women face in being viewed as inherently sexual are enormous. By saying that being trans is a fetish, you're invalidating the struggles that trans women have gone through to be viewed as just as human as cisgender people.
TL;DR:
-Your argument sounds pedophilic
-I never blamed trans women for anything
#real bold of OP to block me#i'd say i won in the end#but i wanted to clear this up because i never. NEVER blamed trans women for anything#cw drama#my post#the reading comprehension on this site is piss poor#this is the last response i'll make to this shit though i've made my point crystal clear
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The Myths of Forced Diversity and Virtue Signaling.
In my novel Mail Order Bride, the three main characters are a lesbian and two agendered aliens. In my novel Scatter, the main character is a lesbian, the love interest is a pansexual alien, and the major side characters include a half Cuban, half black Dominican lesbian, a Chinese Dragon, a New York born Jewish Dragon, and a Transgender Welsh Dragon. In my novel The Master of Puppets, the Main Characters are a lesbian shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborg and a half black, half Japanese lesbian. The major side characters include three gender fluid shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborgs, and a pansexual human. In my novel Transistor, the main character is a Trans Lesbian, the love interest is a Half human/Half Angel non-observant Ethiopian Jew, and the major side characters include a Transgender Welsh Dragon (the same one from Scatter), a Transgender woman, a Latino Lesbian, an autistic man, three Middle Eastern Arch Angels, and a hive mind AI with literally hundreds of genders. In my novel The Inevitable singularity, one of the main characters is a lesbian, another has a less clearly defined sexuality but she is definitely in love with the lesbian, and the third is functionally asexual due to a vow of chastity she takes very seriously. The major side characters include a straight guy from a social class similar to the Dalit (commonly known as untouchables) in India, a bisexual woman, a man who is from a race of genetically modified human/frog hybrids, and a woman from a race of genetically modified humans who are bred and sold as indentured sex workers.
Why am I bringing all of this up? Well, first, because it’s kind of cool to look at the list of different characters I’ve created, but mostly because it connects to what I want to talk about today, which should be obvious from the title of the essay. The concepts of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’.
For those who aren’t familiar with these terms, they’re very closely related concepts. ‘Forced Diversity’ is the idea that characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are only ever included in a story because of outside pressure from some group (usually called Social Justice Warriors, or The Woke Brigade or something similar) to meet some nebulous political agenda. The caveat to this is, of course, that you can have a women/women present as long as they are hot, don’t make any major contributions to the resolution of the plot, and the hero/heroes get to fuck them before the end of the story. ‘Virtue Signaling’, according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative neologism for the expression of a disingenuous moral viewpoint with the intent of communicating good character.
The basic argument is that Forced Diversity is a form of virtue signaling. That no one would ever write characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males because they want to. They only do it to please the evil SJW’s who are somehow both so powerful that they force everybody to conform to their desires, yet so irrelevant that catering to them dooms any creative project to financial failure via the infamous ‘go woke, go broke’ rule.
What the people who push this idea of Forced Diversity tend to forget is that we exist at a point in time when creators actually have more creative freedom than are any other people in history. Comic writers can throw up a website and publish their work as a webcomic without having to go through Marvel, DC or one of the other big names, or get a place in the dying realm of the news paper comics page. Novelists can self-publish with fairly little upfront costs, musicians can use places like YouTube and Soundcloud to get their work out without having to worry about music publishers. Artists can hock their work on twitter and tumblr and a dozen other places. Podcasts are relatively cheap to make, which has opened up a resurgence in audio dramas. Even the barrier to entry for live action drama is ridiculously low.
So, in a world where creators have more freedom than ever before, why would they choose to people their stories with characters they don’t want there? The answer, of course, is that they wouldn’t. Authors, comic creators, indie film creators and so on aren’t putting diverse characters into their stories because they are being forced to. They’re putting diverse characters into their stories because they want to. Creators want to tell stories about someone other than the generically handsome hypermasculine cisgendered heterosexual white males that have been the protagonists of so many stories over the years that we’ve choking on it. A lot of times, creators want to tell stories about people like themselves. Black creators want to tell stories about the black experience. Queer creators want to tell stories about the queer experience.
I’m an autistic, mentally ill trans feminine abuse survivor. Every day, I get up and I struggle with PTSD, with an eating disorder, with severe body dysmorphia, with anxiety and depression and just the reality of being autistic and transgender. I deal with the fact that the religious community I grew up in views me as an abomination, and genuinely believes I’m going to spend eternity burning in hell. I deal with the fact that people I’ve known for decades, even members of my own family, regularly vote for politician who publicly state that they want to strip me of my civil rights because I’m queer. I’m part of a community that experiences a disproportionately high murder and suicide rate. I’ve spent multiple years of my life deep in suicidal depression, and to this day, I still don’t trust myself around guns.
As a creator, I want to talk about those issues. I want to deal with my life experiences. I want to create characters that embody and express aspects of my lived experience and my day-to-day reality. No one is forcing me to put diversity into my books. I try to include Jewish characters as often as I can because there have been a number of important Jewish people in my life. I include queer people because I’m queer and the vast majority of friends I interact with on a regular basis are queer. I include people with mental illnesses and trauma because I am mentally ill and have trauma, and I know a lot of people with mental illnesses and trauma. My work may be full of fantastical elements, aliens and dragons and angels and superheroes and magic and ultra-high technology and AI’s and talking cats and robot dogs and shape shifters and telepaths and all sorts of other things, but at the core of the stories is my own lived experience, and neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are vanishingly rare in that experience.
Now, I can hear the comments already. The ‘okay, maybe that’s true for individual creators, but what about corporate artwork?’. Maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.
The thought here is that corporations are bowing to social pressure to include characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males, and that is somehow bad. But here’s the thing. Corporations are going to chase the dollars. They aren’t bowing to social pressure. There’s no one holding a gun to some executive’s head saying, “You must have this many diversity tokens in every script.” What is happening is that corporations are starting to clue into the fact that people who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males have money. They are putting black characters in their shows and movies because black people watch shows and spend money on movies. They are putting queer people in shows and movies because queer people watch shows and spend money on movies. They are putting women in shows and movies because women watch shows and spend money on movies.
No one is forcing these companies to do this. They are choosing to do it, the same way individual creators are choosing to do it. In the companies’ cases the choices are made for different reasons. It’s not because they are necessarily passionate about telling stories about a particular experience, but because they want to create art to be consumed by the largest audience possible, which means that they have to expand their audience beyond the neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white male by including characters from outside of that demographic.
And the reality is, the cries of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ almost always come from within that demographic. Note the almost. There are a scattering of individuals from outside that demographic which do subscribe to the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ myths, but that is a whole other essay. However, within that demographic, lot of the people who cry about ‘forced diversity’ see media and content as a Zero-Sum game. The more that’s created for other people, the less that is created for them.
In a way, they’re right. There are only so many slots for TV shows each week, there are only so many theaters, only so much space on comic bookshelves and so on. But at the end of the day, its literally impossible for them to consume all the content that’s being produced anyway. So, while there is, theoretically less content for them to consume, as a practical matter it’s a bit like someone who is a meat eater going to a buffet with two hundred items, and then throwing a tantrum because five of the items happen to be vegan.
The worst part is, if they could let go of how wound up they are about the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ they could probably enjoy the content that’s produced for people other than them. I mean, I’m a pasty ass white girl, and I loved Black Panther.
So, to wrap out, creators, make what you want to make, and ignore anyone who cries about forced diversity or virtue signaling. And to people who are complaining about forced diversity and virtue signaling, I want to go back to the buffet metaphor. You need to relax. Even if there are a few vegan options on the buffet, you can still get your medium rare steak, or your chicken teriyaki or whatever it is you want. Or, maybe, just maybe, you could give the falafel a try. That shit is delicious.
#writing#original fiction#media#representation#diversity#the war of souls#the hearts of heroes#The Master of Puppets#scatter#transistor#the inevitable singularity#mail order bride
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Guilty Pleasure
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
All the warnings listed on Part I apply.
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X / Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
Living with Ned and MJ was both a dream come true and a bit of a nightmare.
A dream, because when they were kids, they always talked about how they would all go the same college and live together one day, and Peter would finally have a real home – and a real family, he used to think to himself, in secret.
A nightmare, because he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of his friends, and that was the worst kind of feeling to have for the people who opened their arms and their home for him when he needed the most. Still, he couldn’t avoid it and he felt awful for that. They were both attending NYU; Ned was majoring in Computer Science and MJ in Journalism. All according to the plans they made in high school.
When Peter was younger, he made plans, too. He wanted to study Biochemistry, his teachers used to say he could probably get a scholarship to a good college, he was smart enough. Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, even offered to write letters of recommendation for him. Instead, Peter’s life choices led him to his current predicament: a 20 year-old porn actor, selling dirty pictures for a living, crashing on his friends’ couch, not a single dollar in his wallet.
He was definitely not getting any awards for good decision making, that was for sure.
He had been staying with Ned and MJ for a week when he was finally able to set up his Just4Fans account. He knew that had to be a temporary thing, it couldn’t last, even if he wanted it to. He wouldn’t be young forever, let alone a “pretty twink”, as his subscribers loved to call him. He had maybe three or four years left of that hype, at most, then he would be too old for that, and/or people would start getting bored of him. So he had to be smart, the plan was to save up as much as he could while he thought about what he was going to do once the fountain of youth dried up, and the clock was ticking fast.
But for the time being, porn.
Good thing he had his own Instagram account with a few thousand followers. All the other social media accounts were under Beck’s name, and those had hundreds of thousands of followers, but Peter no longer had access to them – he checked. He also checked and noticed that Beck hadn’t announced that they had split up yet, his last post dated from five days earlier, when he released their last video together – two days after kicking him out of the house, the asshole.
So Peter posted a few Instagram stories explaining to his followers that he and Beck weren’t a thing anymore – he didn’t give many details, he didn’t want any drama, specially not with Beck – and that he had set up a Just4Fans account for the time being. In minutes, his Instagram blew up. Apparently, people were either heartbroken over their breakup; relieved he “got rid of that perv!”; or devastated they wouldn’t get to see them doing porn together anymore.
He got a hundred subscribers in just a few hours, which was incredible. The subscription fee was ten dollars a month, so even after the website’s cut plus tax deduction, it still was a good start. He wondered what kind of money Beck made with their videos, because they had thousands of subscribers on their channel.
Once he got the hang of the site, he tried to post at least two sets of pictures a day – which was challenging at that moment, because the apartment was tiny and he didn’t have any outfits or toys with him, they were all at Beck’s. He made plans that as soon as he got the subscription money in around fifteen days, he would try to buy a few things and take tons of pictures to last a few weeks.
He also made sure to answer people’s messages every single day, which often earned him a little more money in tips. It was shocking how many people were willing to tip him just because he answered them. Some other people asked for extra content, like specific pictures, videos or even voice notes, which he sent via “pay-per-view messages”.
In the end, he felt like he was prostituting himself. Again.
He would never judge a person for earning their living in any way necessary, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone, he just never thought that would be him. Never ever. As a kid, he thought he’d be an astronaut. Growing up, he wanted to be a physicist. As a teen, he made plans to study Biochemistry. And somehow he ended up selling his body online, one way or another.
He didn’t dwell on that for long, he focused on the fact that it was temporary. If he managed to retain at least some of the people that had subscribed to his account for two or three years, then he would be able to start a small business of some kind in the future. Maybe he could go back to school. Twenty-three wasn’t too old for college, right?
Right.
It was two weeks later when he got a weird message. Not a weird message, actually, a weird tip. Someone under the username of YKWIM had sent him ten thousand dollars for no reason, there was no prior conversation, nor did the person ask for anything in return. Peter was sure there must have been a mistake, maybe they had typed in some extra zeros or maybe they had sent it to the wrong person, so he decided to reach out.
“Hey. I think there must’ve been some sort of mistake with your last tip. Lol.”
He left his phone on the counter and got started on dinner. He was a terrible cook, but to be fair, they all were, so it was fine. Ned and MJ were both at work, but they would be home soon and they were having a quiet night in. Those few weeks at their place had been good for Peter, it felt nice not to be alone after what happened, but at the same time, he was starting to feel like he really needed his own space. He was already looking for an apartment to move into as soon as he got the money. He was hoping to get one in the same building or at least close by, so that they could still see each other often.
His cell phone beeped as he sliced some onions and he stopped to check.
“Hey, gorgeous. There’s been no mistake, it’s correct.” Peter was taken aback by the answer, so he checked again to see how much the person had tipped him, and sure enough, there it was. Ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand. American dollars.
“Oh. Wow, that was very, very generous of you. Is there any particular content that you’d like to see from me as a thank you? I could send you exclusive pics and videos, whatever you want.” Inwardly, he was thinking that no amount of pictures or videos from him would ever be worth ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand dollars, holy fuck.
“That would be excellent.”
“Great. What would you like to see?”
Please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird, please don’t be weird… Usually, Peter’s subscribers liked to see him in cute outfits or with cute toys, but some people liked very messed up stuff. He usually said no, but that person had just sent him ten thousand dollars. Fuck, that was so much money, it would cover rent for at least a few months.
“I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve put out so far, baby, so surprise me. I’m sure I’m gonna like whatever you send.”
God, generous and reasonable? Had Peter died and gone to porn heaven?
“You flatter me.” He typed in quickly, leaving the sauce unattended for a few seconds. “Give me a few hours to work on it, I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Take your time, but I don’t think you could disappoint me if you tried.”
Peter felt so stupid when he blushed and giggled to himself, because that was exactly how Beck lured him in when he was seventeen, with charming, easy words. He was an adult now, for Christ’s sake, and he didn’t even know who he was talking to. To be fair, it was probably a woman. For some weird reason, according to his Just4Fans statistics, a surprisingly large percentage of his subscribers were middle-aged, cisgender, heterosexual women. Peter supposed those were the ones who used to follow his “love story” with Beck – most of them hadn’t got over them yet, apparently they were “the perfect couple! So cute!”.
He couldn’t blame them, they sold them the perfect love story. And for a time, it was true. Peter really thought Beck was it for him, the love of his life, his soulmate. He didn’t know at which point it all became an act to Beck – or if maybe it had always been an act.
He sighed, shaking his head, he couldn’t afford to waste time thinking about him, so he focused on what he should send YKWIM.
As he finished making dinner, he tried to come up with ideas. They said they loved everything Peter had posted so far – he had posted thirty pictures and five short clips over the past two weeks. The pictures were all in MJ’s bedroom – she offered –, most of them in her bed. There were only a few pictures in which he was completely naked, in the others he had some sort of underwear on – lingerie or tight briefs.
So, he decided he should do something similar, but different enough that YKWIM would feel somewhat special. He had a few good ideas, but they would have to wait for the next morning, he would need good lighting and privacy.
“Hey, nerd, what’s up,” He almost burned his fingers when he heard MJ’s voice, and realized he had spaced out for a minute there. He shook his head quickly and smiled at her.
“Nothing, how was you day?”
The next morning, once Ned went to visit his family and MJ left for work, Peter started working on the pictures. For some reason, he didn’t want to tell his friends about YKWIM, just like he didn’t want to tell them about Beck when they first met, three years earlier. And if he really was as smart as his teachers used to say, he would have seen the pattern. But as it was, he just focused on the fact that YKWIM was probably a woman living on the other side of the world, who just liked to get off to pictures of pretty boys in lingerie.
But.
For the sake of getting in the mood for the pictures, he imagined YKWIM was a guy. Not too tall, but taller than him. He imagined he had a beard, but not a full one, like Beck’s, no, perfectly trimmed, scratchy, in a good way. He’d have dark, warm eyes, not blue and cold. He’d be older, older than Beck, more mature than him. A real man. Maybe he’d have a few streaks of gray amidst his otherwise dark hair.
He’d be gentle, despite Peter’s past. He’d treat him like he was the first one to ever touch him, even if he knew that was far from the truth. He would be careful, mindful of his pleasure. He’d start off slowly, kissing along his collarbones, fingers brushing the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs, just shy of where Peter wanted him to touch, as his mouth traveled down his chest; hot, moist breath leaving a trail of kisses down his stomach.
He sighed. Yeah, that would do to put him in the mood.
He put on a white t-shirt that was just long enough to graze the tops of his thighs, and a simple, plain black thong. He decided to take the pictures in the shower – the classic wet, white t-shirt, he couldn’t really go wrong with that. He positioned the camera on top of the bathroom sink, set the timer, and started posing.
First, he rested his back against the wall, one hand pulling the t-shirt down to cover the front his underwear, eyes staring directly at the camera lens as water ran down his face, neck and chest, making his nipples stiffen, becoming visible under the wet shirt.
Next, he pressed his chest to the wall, looking at the camera from over his shoulder, lips parted, just a peek of his exposed ass cheeks showing where the t-shirt ended, but by then it was so wet it was mostly see-through.
Then he turned so his side was facing the camera and stuck his head directly under the stream of water, running his hands through his hair, back arched obscenely, eyes closed. He let his hands travel all the way down his neck, chest, and stomach, hearing the familiar “click” as the camera took several pictures.
He turned around again, placed his hands on the wall and lifted his t-shirt just over his lower back, sticking his ass out, showing off his provocative underwear.
He got out of the shower and turned the camera into filming mode, then got back under the water and also shot a short clip of he sensually and slowly taking the thong off, but in a way that the viewer couldn’t really see the skin that was revealed. He pulled the wet t-shirt down so it covered everything, but by then it was so see-through that it left nothing to the imagination. Peter twirled a little, then threw an innocent, shy smile at the camera.
That should do it.
He finished his shower, put the wet clothes in the washer, then went to edit the pictures. He didn’t do much, just adjusted the light and contrast, then cut them into squares, because he though it looked classier or whatever. He chuckled to himself at the absurdity of that thought, as he attached the photos and the video to a direct message to YKWIM.
“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint. Let me know if you’d like something different.”
He cringed re-reading the message, he thought he sounded desperate and insecure about himself and he supposed that wasn’t very attractive, so he decided to change it just a little.
“Hey, gorgeous! Hopefully these won’t disappoint.” And he finished off with a hot face emoji, because why not.
He sent the message and went on with his day. Ned and MJ were both back for lunch and since none of them felt like cooking – and they all sucked at it anyway –, they ordered something to eat in front of the TV, as they binge-watched the first seasons of The Office.
“Oh, hey, Pete, I almost forgot, I talked to our landlord earlier and he said there’s an apartment on the fifth floor that should be vacated by the end of the month, if you’re interested,” Ned told him around a mouthful of pizza and Peter’s head snapped up.
“I’m definitely interested!”
“Cool, I’ll talk to him for you, I’m sure I can get you a good deal on rent.” He winked, and Peter smiled, feeling hopeful.
Things were getting better. Slowly, yes, but they were. He was spending time with his friends – who he had neglected for the past two years–; he had a good amount of money to withdraw in the next few days, that could get him going for a while; he was still doing porn, yes, but at least he was in control of the whole thing, including his own body, which was nice; and he only cried for Beck every other night instead of every single night, so he had that going for him.
All in all, things were looking up.
Ned and MJ convinced him to go out for a bit in the afternoon, they said he had been cooped up in the apartment for three weeks and should breathe in some fresh air, and since it was the first somewhat warm day of March, they decided to go jog at Central Park in the afternoon. They didn’t really jog, but they walked around some and Peter must admit that it felt good to stretch his legs and feel the sun on his skin for a change.
They were lying on the grass, resting for a bit, when they saw a blur of red and gold fly overhead. People started cheering and clapping and Peter smiled when MJ groaned, because he knew exactly what she was going to say.
“How can people cheer for that guy, he’s an egocentric, misogynistic, elitist, disgusting asshole.” He laughed to himself, because he knew what came next.
“He’s a genius, he changed the world multiple times and he even saved it at least twice. I think he’s pretty cool,” Ned argued without any heat and Peter could hear MJ rolling her eyes.
Peter didn’t love or hate Tony Stark or Iron Man, like most people, he just – didn’t pay him any mind. Sure, when he was a kid, he was obsessed with him, he was New York’s first superhero after Captain America, who was still in the ice when Stark announced he was Iron Man. But as he grew older, he had other concerns in mind other than who was the coolest Avenger, so he kind of forgot they existed, except for when there was some crazy alien threat looming over New York City – which was, like, a biannual thing since they found out aliens existed back in 2012.
The fact that Iron Man was flying over Central Park on a Saturday afternoon was a little alarming though. From what Peter knew, Stark was mostly retired since around 2016, he only ever “avenged” when there was a big threat, like the near-end-of-the-world they had back in 2018.
“Do you think we’re under attack?” Peter asked and Ned shook his head calmly.
“Nah, I think he must be late for something. I read an interview recently and he said he uses the suit sometimes when he needs to get some place fast.”
Seemed like overkill, but who was Peter to judge, he would probably do the same if had a suit like that.
They spent the rest of the afternoon in the park and then headed home for the night. MJ turned in early, she said she was beat from a busy week, and Peter and Ned stayed up until a little later, re-watching Star Wars movies. It was close to 2AM when Ned said his goodnight and Peter went to check his Just4Fans, because he hadn’t answered any messages all day long.
There were quite a few, but he did notice there was one missing. YKWIM hadn’t answered him yet and Peter immediately felt like a failure. They probably hated the pictures, they must have thought “ugh, ten thousand dollars for that?”. Peter should have photoshopped them. He could have made himself look at least a little bit better, if only–
Before he could hate on himself too much, YKWIM messaged him, like they could read minds. Peter quickly opened their chat, still a little worried about their reaction to the pictures.
“Damn, baby! You have no fucking idea what those did to me. Fuck! Can I show you? Please?”
Peter was oddly relieved to read that, and was endeared by the fact that they actually asked before sending a dick pic. Or a clit pic? Was that a thing?
“Of course, gorgeous, I’d love to see it.”
Within seconds, they sent a video in the chat. Peter was a little surprised by that, but pressed play anyway, and almost fell off the couch when he did.
It was a thirteen seconds video. He could see the man’s midriff, all the way down to the tops of his thighs. His belly was toned and spattered with dark hair that led down to perfectly trimmed pubes that framed the most beautiful cock Peter had ever seen. There was no other way to put it.
It was long and thick, but not so much so that it would hurt – Peter knew better –, it stood proudly between his thighs, attached to a heavy set of balls that made his mouth water. He was jacking it mercilessly, Peter could only hear him grunting quietly before his balls recoiled and he came, covering his stomach in thick, pearly white come. Peter whimpered, pressing down on his hard-on, and almost cried when the video was over.
“Fuck, daddy, that was so fucking hot.” It was probably the first time ever that he actually meant that answering a DM from a subscriber.
“That was the third time today, baby, I have been thinking about those pics from the minute you sent them. Spent the whole day with blue balls, even after coming twice.”
Fuck.
“Wish I could have helped you with that.”
“Who knows, honey, maybe someday.”
Yeah, Peter thought, biting his pillow on the couch so he wouldn’t be heard when he came embarrassingly hard in his pajamas pants, face burning with shame. Maybe someday.
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