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#I delivered him to the xray room
kedreeva · 1 year
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We had a wind storm this weekend and these two took offense to the wind making Sounds and injured themselves. Artemis (bottom) bruised one side of her face up, but she's acting fine otherwise so she'll probably be back to normal in a few days.
Stan, on the other hand, bruised his left eye socket and was acting Off with a capital O. He's normally not very active, his legs don't work all that great and he can't catch a deep breath because of his messed up ribs and stuff, but he was lethargic and not eating/drinking normally, so I swapped him into Joslin's appt slot today and took him in.
It wasn't my normal vet again, and I told her that Stan is a hot mess, and she felt him up and told me well his abdominal cavity sounds weird, I said yeah he's got messed up air sacs. She goes well, one of his legs is atrophied more than his other, and I said was it his right one because that's the one that was worse as a baby and doesn't work right, and she goes yeah it was the right one. She goes, it feels like his kidneys are too big, this could be a case of gout, we can xray to look for it. Now, I know it's not gout, but an xray will either enlighten her on the fact that I'm not joking about how messed up this bird is, or it will show her what's actually injured, or both.
So she does the xray and she calls me into the back room and she goes well. it's not gout. his kidneys are actually small and I was feeling his messed up air sac. there's a lot wrong here, but I'm looking at his last xray and there's a lot wrong there, and most of it is the same. he got a little better in some ways and a little worse in other ways, but the issue is that it looks like he jammed his hip joint and injured it a little, possibly from landing wrong.
you know. an injury. like from the ultimate panic of the Wind Making Sounds.
Anyway he got some antibiotics against infection and some pain meds and we'll give him a couple of tube feedings until he's not feeling crappy. For now he's asleep in my room on a roost.
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lena-in-a-red-dress · 3 years
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Alt S5b Plot Bunny, Pt 6
By the time the others return from the desert to report an absolute bust, Lena is secured in the infirmary and Kara has hastily wrapped her injuries in messy piles of gauze.
Alex takes one look and immediately shifts into medic mode. "What happened?"
"Lena, she-- she tried to kill me," Kara murmurs. Her gaze shifts to her friend, still unconscious where she's strapped to a gurney. Despite what happened, all she feels in concern.
"She almost succeeded," Alex tells her, prodding the stab wound in her side. Kara groans. "Good news is, you're already starting to heal."
She sets Kara on a stool and wheels over a sunlamp. When she clicks it on, Kara sags under the relief it provides.
"It wasn't her fault," Kara tells Alex. Alex shoots her a look, but Kara insists. "It wasn't! She-- she tried to warn me. And then--"
"You're right," J'onn says, pressing two fingers to his temple. "Her mind has been corrupted."
"How?" Alex asks.
Kara scans Lena with her xray vision, and her blood runs cold when she locates two inorganic devices: one in her neck, the other at the base of her brain stem.
"Brainy--"
Kara describes the devices to the best of her ability. Brainy's eyes alight with understanding.
"It would seem Lex has covered all his bases," Brainy explains. "The first appears to be a small capacitor, capable of delivering an electric current. The other is an inhibitor of some kind, grafted onto her central nervous system. There would be no way for Lena to fight whatever mandate Lex installed."
"Can we remove them?" Nia asks.
Brainy considers that for a moment. "The first would be quite simple to remove. However the inhibitor is a different story. Even assuming Lex has not rigged the device with a failsafe, attempting to remove it could render Miss Luthor comatose, or dead."
Kara releases a shaky breath. "Then what can we do?"
"If we could deactivate the device, I could reverse whatever mandate Lex installed," J'onn offers. "Her mind would be her own again."
"How do we deactivate it if we can't remove it?"
Brainy perks up. "An EMP could render the device inert. There is a chance the device could be reactivated, but doing so would require physical adjustment."
"And I'm not going to let Lex get anywhere close to her again," Kara declares.
J'onn nods. He looks to Brainy. "How soon can you have a device ready to deliver the EMP."
"A few hours at most. I shall begin immediately."
Brainy goes off, and Kara turns to Alex. "Can we keep Lena sedated until it's ready?"
Alex eyes her. "You sure?"
Swallowing, Kara nods. Though partially driven to spare Lena the discovery of being strapped to the bed, more fervent is the need to never see the hate in Lena's eyes again.
"Yeah."
Alex nods. "Okay."
---
The hours pass slowly. Kara spends them under the sunlamp, refusing to leave Lena's side. Alex uses the time to fish the capacitor from Lena's shoulder, and Kara fights the urge to vomit when the small device clinks to the bottom of a sterile basin.
Seeing her distress, Alex offers her a steadying smile. "She's going to be okay."
Kara gazes at Lena, unable to banish the apprehension coiling in her gut. "Yeah."
When Brainy finally returns, they clear the infirmary of anything electrical. At Kara's nod, Brainy activates the device. The wait as it beeps once, twice, three times, then falls silent.
Awkwardly, they wait for something to happen, but nothing does.
"Brainy?"
"The EMP has been delivered."
Lena doesn't stir. Kara looks at her sister in concern. "Alex..."
"The sedatives should wear off any minute."
The wait in anxious silence until Lena finally begins to stir. Kara steps forward, taking Lena's hand in hers. "Lena?"
Lena's eyes open, rolling slightly before squinting against the overhead lights. She groans, then pries her eyes open to look at Kara.
"Kara..."
Lena breathes her name, smiling at the sight of her, her features soft and relieved. Kara studies her, and feels her heart fall.
Alex moves to unfasten Lena's other hand.
"It didn't work," Kara snaps, freezing Alex in place.
"The EMP was delivered--"
Kara pegs him with a sharp glare. "It didn't work!"
On the bed, Lena's grin deepens to something menacing, and a giggle pours out of her. Her grip on Kara's hand tightens, fingernails digging into Kara's skin like claws until Kara jerkily pries herself free.
"Nice try, Supergirl," Lena taunts. "But you can't change the truth: you're a menace--"
Alex silences her with a sharp jab of a syringe, administering another dose of sedative. In moments Lena is out like a light.
Thrusting the sunlamp away from her, Kara stalks to the side of the room, then paced to the other in furious agitation.
"Why didn't it work?"
Brainy thinks for a long moment. "It's possible the device is in fact biomechanic in nature. The nervous system is effectively one large conductor, carrying electrical impulses from the brain to the rest of the body--"
"The device could be powering itself using those impulses," Alex jumps in, catching on quickly.
Brainy nods. "It would be impossible to power it down completely so long as though impulses are present."
"So there's no way to save her?" Kara asks.
Brainy tilts his head, catching Alex's gaze. "There is a way..."
"But it would be risky," Alex finishes.
Kara stops pacing and looks at her. "How risky?"
"If we're right, and the device is powered in part by Lena's own electrical impulses, then we would have to suppress those impulses long enough for the device to run out of juice, then hit it with the EMP."
"And by suppress her electrical impulses, you mean--"
"All electrical impulses. Zero brain activity."
Kara's mouth goes dry. "You mean kill her."
"Only temporarily," Brainy points out. "As soon as the EMP is delivered, we would be able to revive her, and she will be herself again."
Sensing Kara's distress, J'onn places a hand on her shoulder. "It's risky, but it may be Lena's best chance."
Kara takes a deep breath, her mind racing. Losing Lena this way terrifies her, but in her heart she knows the decision Lena would make if she could. She wouldn't want to live like this-- she wouldn't want to be Lex's puppet.
She nods.
"Let's do it."
----
It takes almost an hour to prepare. Alex preps the drugs she'll need to slow Lena's heart, and the drugs she'll need to restart it. She collects a crash cart as well, just in case. In lieu of more advanced technology, which they don't have in the tower, J'onn will monitor Lena's brain waves to determine when it's safe to administer the EMP.
Kara can only watch it all with a lump in her throat, praying to Rao that she hasn't made the wrong decision.
"Ready?" Alex finally asks.
Kara nods. She steps up to Lena's bedside, taking Lena's hand in both of hers. She watches as Alex administers the first syringe, listening as Lena's heartbeat begins to slow. She prays silently as the thumps comes farther and fewer between, then cease entirely. Looking at J'onn, she waits with tears in her eyes as the seconds tick by.
"J'onn..."
"Not yet..."
Dread pours through Kara, filling her swiftly and completely. She shakes her head. "It's been too long. Alex..."
"Kara, wait--"
"Alex!"
"Now!" J'onn shouts. Brainy activates his device. The thing beeps slowly-- once, twice, three times.
Then
"The EMP has been delivered."
Alex surges into action. With sure, swift movements she uncaps the second syringe and plunges it into Lena's chest. Without waiting, she vaults onto the gurney, straddling Lena to begin delivering chest compressions.
"Alex..."
"We just have to keep her blood moving until the drugs kick in," Alex pants. Counting softly, she shoots a look to Nia. "Nia, rescue breaths, now."
Nia obeys without hesitation. Kara's tears spill over as she watches them work on Lena, unable to do anything more than stand idly by. As the minutes pass, Kara feels her hope dwindle.
"Brainy, the crash cart," Alex barks finally. She climbs off the stretcher while Nia breathes air into Lena's lungs. Brainy wheels the crash cart closer.
"Kara, let go."
"Alex--"
"Let go!"
Kara steps back, and Alex presses the paddles against Lena's torso. "Clear!"
Lena's body spasms as the current courses through her, only to fall limp when it stops. Alex presses two fingers to Lena's neck, seaeching for a pulse. Delivering another round of compressions, she then waits for Nia to perform the rescue breathing before shocking Lena again.
"Clear!"
Lena spasms again, and Kara has to turn away, covering her sobs with one hand. For a long moment, there's nothing but heavy silence before Alex calls out.
"I've got a pulse!"
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propertyofwicked · 4 years
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Could you do an a-z for dating dean please? I loved tom’s! 😍
i really enjoy writing these :) ive got a george one requested so i will be doing that later. hope you enjoy this one anon :)
a - argue
like the mature adults you guys are, any argument results in silent treatment till one of you realises your fault and apologises. sometimes it takes other people to point out your mistakes, but in the end you would talk it out, make compromises and understand your differences. a little goes along way with you and dean.
b - body (his favourite body part of yours)
dean likes your hands. he likes how they move to cup his face when you kiss, he likes how your fingers move effortlessly across your keyboard when you’re typing, he likes how they wrap around things ;) he likes how they fit perfectly in his and he likes how they run over the surface of his back.
c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)
you both spend a lot of time away from each other, as he is away filming a lot and you are at uni or doing coursework. when you do get to spend time together and it happens that someone is ill, you’re still going to spend as much time together as physically possible. you’ll spend the day in bed, wrapped up warm. If you’re ill, dean wants to treat you like a queen. under no circumstances are you to leave the bed, unless it’s for the toilet, and even then, he keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t pass out on the way. he’ll cook you food and bring you painkillers as often as needed. when he’s ill, you’ll do mostly the same, perhaps try and move him to the sofa or go for a walk for some fresh air.
d - dates (what do you guys do?)
to the start of your relationship, dean preferred to take you on high key fancy restaurants, but once you were comfortable settled together you’d go on cafe dates in-between lectures or just stay home and watch movies with some takeaway food.
e - engagements (how he proposed) 
dean had taken you to venice for your birthday, and spent the entire week spoiling you,as he usually would much to your protests. on the last night before you flew home, you went for dinner and on the way home, he took you to a cute little bridge, tucked away from the main town. whilst you were distracted by the stars appearing in the orange sky, he got down on one near and called out your name to gain your attention.
f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)
his parents loved you. his mum and you often cooked together whenever you visited for dinner, or you and his dad would talk about politics or the football. His little sister liked having a female around that was closer to her age, you were more of her friend than her sister-in-law. your parents liked dean, he was the most respectable boy you’d ever dated and they could see how happy he made you. out of each of your friendship groups, you both were the longest to be single, so your friends were just happy to see you not crying over some failed fling.
g - gifts
as dean was away for filming a lot, he often wanted to remind you of how much he loved you by getting flowers delivered to your house and when he was done filming, he’d sometimes brought back bits of set or props that he thought you would like. being a broke student meant that sometimes the only gift you could send would be some lovely photos specially for him ;)
h - how you met
often, your uni would use it’s rooms to host interviews for press tours, or q&a halls. the uni offered pay for a group of people to set up the rooms and pack up at the end so you volunteered. tt was here you ran into george and dean as it was a 1917 q&a. they were lost so you helped direct them to the room they needed to be in. dean actively stalked you down after the interview and asked if you’d want to go for coffee with him and you hit it off from there.
i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)
whenever, wherever. he’s down. the amount of time you spend apart just builds up your need to be together, so you grasp at any chance you can to be physically intimate with one another. it’s when you’re bored of a tv program, or he’s wearing a suit, you get the gist.
j - jealousy
you get fairly jealous as dean works around and with a lot of people you believe to be better, prettier, that yourself. as much as dean reassures you, you can’t help yourself from wondering if he’d ever leave you for one of the actress he work with. dean doesn’t tend to be massively jealous, but the more time he spends away from you, the more jealous he gets. he fears that you will find someone who can be in your life more permanently and physically than he can.
k - kinks
dean likes edging/control. he loves to see you struggle to contain your release until he says so, and he loves to take you beyond the point of pleasure till you’re literally begging to cum.
l - long distance
with dean working away so much, long distance gets hard. Sometimes he manages to come home for the weekend, but he could be gone for 3 months at a time. every night, you facetime or call each other whilst just going about your daily routine together, as if he was there. just hearing each others voices daily was enough to keep you going till you saw each other again.
m - moving in
there was never really a point where you moved in with him. your stuff just started manifesting it’s way into his house, to the extent you’d spend ages searching your room for it only to realise you’d left it at dean’s. once you were going into your second year at university, you’d been with dean for almost a year and he just kind of suggested that you live with him to avoiding massive bills for uni halls, but everyone knew it was a ploy to be able to spend more time with you.
n - nights out
as a student, nights out were key to social engagements. so, your group of uni friends and their partners would head out to a local pub and spend the evening chatting drinking or playing darts. you’d both stumble home at the early hours and wake up several hours later with a pounding hangover.
o - open with each other
whilst he was away, it was hard to be fully open with each other, knowing that anything bothering you would just upset each other further as you couldn’t be with each other at the time. once he was home, however, it was easy to spend hours wrapped up together talking about anything that was on your mind.
p - pda
neither of you are particularly into massive displays due to the public eye being on you more often than not, but a simple hand hold or peck didn’t go amiss. dean preferred to save all of his affection for home, where he could properly show you how much you meant to him.
q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)
let’s be honest, you would go into any massively deep conversation it’d be more along the lines of “how was your day? what did you do?  did I ever tell you about the time that...” but it was the small moment s like that that counted.
r - reproduction (do you want kids?)
not at this point in time, as it is the start of your careers and you’re both pretty young but you had discussed it a little. if it was to happen by surprise, you’d both embrace it but one day down the line you fully plan to have atleast a child if not more.
s - surprising (what surprised you about him)
the simplicity of his happiness. it doesn’t take much to make dean smile, or let out a little laugh but every time he did you feel a surge of happiness rush through yourself. to see him happy made you happy, so you’d strive to do that as much as humanly possible.
t - together (what you do together)
you guys like watching movies, which isnt surprising given the nature of deans job. you also like to spend quite a lot of time in the bedroom ;)
u - under the influence (drunk vibes)
it was rather common that you’d be out separately, you out with uni mates or him with co stars. drunk calls were the best, both of you becoming the funniest people alive whilst intoxicated. when he chose to stay home and you’d make you way back, fumbling to get the keys in the lock subsequently waking him up, he’d come to you and put you in bed. he’d make sure there was a glass of water and painkillers and a bowl near your head. you’d do the same, but drunk dean is flirty dean and whilst you were trying to change him into sleepable clothing, he’d make comments like “at least by me dinner first”
v - vacations
a lot of your holidays were spent on set with him, but sometimes you’d go abroad to malta or somewhere remote. you preferred quiet, adventure holidays than expensive beach holidays.
w - wedding
you had the cutest wedding ever. it was in this converted barn, with both your families and friends attending and the reception was basically a massive party in very fitting taste for you and dean.
x - xray (when he’s hurt)
dean injured himself on set of 1917, where he slipped down a trench and twisted his ankle fairly bad. because of it, he was sent home for two weeks to recuperate, where you literally tended to his every need. you brought him food, drink, medication and care to the point where he literally had to make you spend time on your other work rather than him for some time. normally it would just end in you falling asleep, cuddling on the sofa, in your living room.
y - you (a random headcanon) 
you’d had a long and bad day at uni, so you came home stressed out of your mind, muscled tensed and a pounding headache. the moment you stepped foot into the flat, you bag dropped to the floor and shoes kicked to the side, you walked into the living room where dean looked up at you and sent you a small smile. he noticed the fatigue in your eyes and posture, moving to pat his lap for you to sit on. You found your way onto his lap, legs wrapping around his waist as he moved to lay down. you hands moved under his back to hold him properly and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other moving to brush a hand through your hair. his head lifted up slightly to press a kiss onto the top of your head.
“bad day?”
“very. but it’s slightly better now.”
“you’re very welcome babygirl”
z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)
dean would be in bed before you every night without fail as you’d be sat doing coursework till late. but he always stayed awake till you made your way into the room and held out his arms for you to climb into and rest your head on his chest. his hands would go straight to your hair and brush through them softly, lulling you into a deep sleep that he too would fall into soon after you.
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btsindie · 3 years
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The Big Sick (2017)
(Spoiler alert!) 
We all love the Indie film The Big Sick. It’s a beautifully written story about a rising stand up comedian name Kumail who falls in love with a girl name Emily. However, Emily suddenly gets very sick and forced to be put into a medically induced coma. Meanwhile Kumail must face his family wanting to only marry another Indian woman while secretly visiting Emily in the hospital and building a relationship with her parents.
But this is based on a true story that Kumail Nanjiani (who plays himself) had to live through with his now wife Emily Gordan.
Accordioning to theguardian.com Kumail  easily recalls his new girlfriend going to the walk in client for a cold and after getting stranded medical tests needing to be put into a coma, Kumail had to be the “family member” to sign the paper allowing this to happen and a doctor frantically asking him if he was her husband walk throwing him a pen. After the doctors eliminated her having Leukemia or HIV it was revealed she had a strange condition called adult-onset Still’s disease. Kumila says during this time he was suppose to be on tour opening for well know comedic Zach Galifianakis. Instead he stayed by Emily’s hospital bed with her parent who flew into New York from South Carolina.
I (Michaela) had a similar experience when I was around 12 years old. I was feeling sick and had a dry cough and a rising fever. While I stayed home from school, I took my temperature and it was at 102 F degrees (39.4C) and texted my mom. She immediately left work to pick me up and brought me to the doctor. They ran an Xray of my chest and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. While my mom was at the pharmacy picking up my medicine, she got a call from the doctor’s office, my Xray results returned and it looked like I had a several case of phenomena in both of my lungs. I was then driven to the hospital and stayed there for about 2 weeks hooked up to an IV and an oxygen tank with a tube across my nose to help me breath. After many nights of one of my parents sleeping the chain in my hospital room, and having teachers deliver me icecream and cards from my classmates, I was finally able to go home.
I hope you got inspired that you can use real stories in the creation of your next film project. Don't forget to support smaller indie films by visiting a local indie cinema, because films like these deserve some major love too :) 
Sources:  Lewis, T., 2017. The Big Sick's Kumail Nanjiani And Emily V Gordon: 'In America, The Idea Of A Cross-Cultural Relationship Is Still Controversial'. [online] the Guardian. Available at: <https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/jul/16/the-big-sick-couple-behind-feelgood-comedy-hit-kumail-nanjiani-emily-gordon> [Accessed 29 September 2020].
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iamknicole · 5 years
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Another Emergency
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Caleb and Hanna rushed to the hospital, Hanna called Charles hoping to talk to him before they got there. His phone went to voicemail, residing her to her worries. When they got into the hospital one of Charles' assistants were waiting on them and led them up to the correct floor. The assistant took them to Charles. He was being bandaged when they got into his room.
"Where is my baby?" Hanna asked.
She didn't mean to be rude but she wanted to know about her daughter.
"Surgery," Charles groaned out. The nurse was wrapping a bandage around his arm. "They're removing the bullets."
Hanna's heart was in her throat, Caleb held her as best he could. He was trying to wrap his mind around it all. First, Benny got shot and now Lainey, it wasn't a coincidence.
Caleb spoke up, "What happened? How were you both hit? Your detail."
"Alaina didn't want to draw so much attention tonight. We wanted it to be about you two so we only had two agents at the dinner, the others," he paused to ease his new shirt on, "The others were hanging back. She wanted to go to Luca's house to see the kids before we went to her place."
"Please, just tell us what happened," Hanna said becoming impatient.
"Luca, Alaina, the kids and I were on his porch talking. Treasure ran into the yard, Alaina followed her and then there were shots. Six shots. Two grazed me. From what I could see two got Alaina."
"They shot her in front of her babies? Who would do something like that?" Hanna asked. She cried quietly to herself.
A doctor entered the room, greeting Charles then Caleb and Hanna. In his hand, he held a clipboard and folder, from the folder he slipped a xray out to put up.
"Ms. Parker is getting her stitches and will be in her room soon but before I take you all there I would like to show you this and discuss what is happening," the doctor explained, "Both bullets went in through her abdomen and ricocheted. One stopped near her lungs and the other near her spleen."
Charles listened intently, ignoring the tears that stung his eyes.
"This means what?" Caleb asked.
"We were able to remove the bullets and repair the damage. However, she loss a lot of blood by the time she got here, stopped breathing several times during surgery and she suffered a seizure as well. Because of that we put her into a medically induced coma."
"But she's gonna be okay," Charles insisted.
"We are going to monitor her through the night and go from there. Would you all like to see her?"
"Yes," Hanna answered immediately.
When they got to her room, the nurse was leaving. The doctor let them know that she could hear them and would more than likely remember what was said, she just wouldn't respond. But assured them that if all goes well, she should be awake in no more than three days.
Caleb and Charles stood back as Hanna stood at Alaina's bedside. She put her purse in the chair beside the bed and went to fixing the covers and Alaina's pillows.
"Look at your hair, girl," Hanna chuckled softly. "You would have a fit if you saw this. But you don't have to worry about that, I'll fix it." Hanna started to carefully pull the bobby pins out of Alaina's bun one by one, setting each one to the side. Once they were out she combed her fingers through her daughter's hair, humming a hymn to her. "Call her brothers and sister, Caleb. Please."
"Of course. Charles and I are gonna step out." Caleb didn't expect an answer, he told Charles to follow him. He closed Alaina's door tight behind them, noticing all of the agents outside her door. Caleb called all of his children before turning his attention to Charles. "I know you know."
Charles sighed, roughly rubbing his eyes. "I don't yet but I will before the sun comes up."
While they waited for the others to arrive, Hanna sat beside Alaina on her bed talking to her. It didn't matter what the doctor said, she was gonna talk to get baby regardless. She knew Alaina could her the anointing in her voice.
"My lil chicken leg child. Girl, what am I gonna do with you? I remember when Zion first brought you to my house. You followed me foot to foot through that little house," she laughed rubbing Alaina's hand. "And the first time I took you to church. You lit up. You loved it. You're my only child who still likes to go. When Zion and Cameron would go off without you, you cried and then you got angry. You loved Benny but he was always with his sister and Lord knows you couldn't stand her. And I couldn't stand your mother."
"Can I help you cook, Ms. Young?" 13 year old, Alaina asked.
Hanna smiled at her, looking up from the greens she was cutting. "Didn't I tell you that you could call me Mama, sweet girl?"
"Yeah but my mom told me that she's my only mom. She got mad at me when I called you that."
Hanna sighed. She never cared for Alaina and Zion's mother, Whitney. That was an evil, evil woman. Just like her husband, their father.
"What do you want to call me, Alaina?"
"You're more of a mom than mine. I wanna call you Mama but I don't wanna get in trouble." Alaina shrugged sadly.
"Then that's what you'll call me, it can be our secret," Hanna smiled tugging at one of Alaina's braids.
"Isn't that a lie? The bible says it's a sin to lie."
"It's not a lie if she doesn't ask, Lainey. Now come on and help me cut."
Cameron rushed to the hospital, Marcie wanted to come but he decided against it. He didn't want her and the baby at the hospital all night. When he got inside the hospital his siblings were waiting for him with a few men in suits and dark shades. The three of them followed the been into the elevator up to Lainey's room.
They rushed to Caleb and Charles, Melissa wrapped her arms around Caleb for comfort. Benny and Cameron stood off to the side with Charles, hands in the pockets of their sweats and hard faces.
"Is she alright, Pop?" Melissa asked softly.
"She will. You can go on in there with your mama. We're comin in a few minutes." Caleb hugged her then opened Alaina's door for her. "When is the last time you talked to Mitch, Benjamin?"
"Three or four days ago when I took Treasure's bag to him. Why?"
"You think he did this," Cameron asked Caleb. He didn't like Mitch but Cameron knew he wasn't that crazy to put his kids in harms way.
Caleb nodded. "Who else would something like this? As jealous as that boys is, I'm not surprised."
"Nah, I don't think so," Benny said shaking his head, "I mean let's think about this. What would him killing Lainey solve for him? If anything he would've killed Charles."
"Yeah, his problem is with me not her. We're cordial but it's fake, it's so we don't upset her or the kids," Charles added.
"So if it wasn't Mitch then who was it?"
"It was either Rose or that damn Candace." Cameron answered sucking his teeth. "We should've killed her ass when we had the chance."
"Not so loud," Charles warned. "Let's all take a deep breath and relax until we find out who it was. I should know within the next few hours."
The men went into the room to find Hanna and Melissa sitting beside each other at Alaina's bedside, watching some movie. Charles stood near the door, his eyes on his fiancè. Watching her like she would disappear. Caleb and Benny sat near the window of her room, Cameron leaned against the wall beside them.
Cameron was pissed to say the least. He knew it was Candace ass soon as he heard the news. She's the only one crazy enough to do this but he didn't understand why. As he thought more about his sister, the day her brother, Zion, got sentenced and he delivered the news to her.
Even though he had a key to Zion's apartment, Cameron always knocked if Alaina was there. He wanted the 17 year old to feel like she had privacy and respect that she never got with her parents or her other brothers. She greeted him with a big hug and smile as always.
"Zi isn't back yet. He left early this morning so he should be back soon. You wanna wait?" She asked leading him into the living room.
"That's why I'm here, Lainey. He had court this morning, he's not coming back for a while."
"What?" Tears rolled down her bare face.
"You remember when he got arrested a few months ago?" Alaina nodded wiping her tears. "He took the deal they gave him and got some time."
"How much time, Cam?"
"That's not important, sweetheart. He won't even have to do the whole thing, just half. He said he'll call you when he can though."
"Cam, how long? It matters." She stressed folding her arms.
Cameron sighed. Zion was going to cuss him out but he should know his sister by now. "15," he mumbled.
"15? What ... What did Zi do?"
"That I'm not telling you. Just know I'm here and I'll take care of you. If you need anything, call me and I'll come."
She shook her head. "So, what? He left me so I have to go back to my parents house? I'm not goin back there."
"No, you know he would kill me if I let you go back there. You can still stay here, drive his car to school and everything. He had your account set up just in case last month."
"Promise you won't leave too. I don't have anyone else."
"If anything happens, you know you still got Mama and B."
Cameron let out a sigh. He'd forgotten to call Zion and tell him what was going on. If Caleb thought her had trouble with him and Benny, he was gonna have more when Zion came.
Candace was going to have on her hands whether Hanna liked it or not.
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dsmroleplay · 3 years
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#ZoeyWinchester #DSM Part Nine
@JakeValance3 @DeanWImpala79 @DeanWinchester_ 
Colt: -He was wound the fuck up. As he got into the house with Dean he looked at him.- I can't sleep. I'm going down to the gym you want to come? ::::::::::: Cowboy: *Nods* Of course. Let’s go. :::::::::: Colt: -Nods heading down the hall and taking the stairs, passing the first room up with a security key pad on the door and down to the gym opening up the door he walked in and turned a set of lights that lit up the back of the gym and gave enough light to see alright. Unbuttons his shirt and tosses it over a chair walking over to pick up the tap and starts to wrap his hand with it.- :::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Dean followed along and removed his own shirt, following Colt’s actions but remained silent. Whenever he, himself got this way, interrogating only drove Dean further into his shell. Personally, he needed quiet and time to let his thoughts flow clear. So he bit his tongue and waited to see what Colt would say, if anything, choosing to silently give him support. :::::::::::::::: Colt: -Rolling his shoulders he moved to stand in front of the punching bag.- I wouldn't have /hurt/ you know that right? -Slams his fist into the bag and picking up a rhythm as the bag moved and came back as he delivered another punch.- :::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Takes a spot by the bag next to Colt and stretches his arms before throwing a few punches* I know. She’s a woman and family technically. I know you really wouldn’t hurt her. :::::::::::::::: Colt: I know I can't protect him from everything... -Throw a one two.- But dude, you've met Jake. It's like some magic fuckin' powers he has, put that shit into a woman and throw her in a den of men... Yeah I don't give a fuck how gay shit's going down. :::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Jabs twice with his left hand before throwing a right hook* When he showed me pictures of himself as Zoey, I was blown away. He does have a way of drawing you in. :::::::::: Colt: Seeing... her -shakes head- dude it's hard. Chicks fuck me up. Why I stay the hell away from them. -Rare and candid confession he hits the bag again.- Plus... they fuck with your head. She acted so nonchalant about Ian. :::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Throws a left hook before another combination.* You’ve mentioned that before. And things were finally falling into place. Not defending her by no means but . . . Maybe she didn’t understand how big of a deal it was. Still . . . I would ever have thought she’d do /that/. ::::::::::::::: Colt: -Catches the bag and holds it for Dean.- Dude I didn't mean to be an jerk but dammit to hell I just can't take anymore right now. Call me crazy but I want shit to go right for once. ::::::::::::::: Jake: *walks into the gym, bloody knuckles wrapped in a bandage. I didn't know anyone was down here, I had just come down to blow off a little steam. I stopped just in the shadow when I heard voices. Knowing they could probably see someone but not sure if they would know it was me.* ::::::::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Hits the bag a few times* Well hell, you know with our lives there always seems to be a wrench in the plans. But we just . . . *hits the bag* take a day at a time. :::::::::::::::: Colt: I'm tired of "taking" shit. Guess my bullshit meter is broke. -Looks over seeing someone. Eyes move from the person back to Dean and he let's go of the bag walking over to the small fridge and grabbing two waters. Tossing Dean one.- ::::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Catches the bottle and takes a long swig, following the path of Colt’s gaze* Hey. Someone gonna stand there all day or come out and say hi? :::::::::::::: Jake: *steps out of the shadow and glances at them both, face drawn and sallow.* Sorry, didn't know you guys were down here. I was just... *gestures with my bloody bandage towards the weights on the other side of the room* ::::::::::::: Colt: -Colt downed the bottle of water and stood looking at Jake.- You gonna stand there or come give us a kiss and hug? Lemme see your hand. ::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Notices the bandage* Jake! Who the hell did this to you! I swear to god I don’t care what time it is. Tell me and I’ll kick their god damn ass. :::::::::::::::: Jake: *my shoulders slump, glancing at Cowboy* The wall looks worse than I do, baby. I won. *shrugs and steps over to Colt and holds out his hand* Sure ya want a hug and a kiss from me? :::::::::::::: Colt: -Colt gives Jake a sour look and unwraps his hand, looking at his swollen knuckles.- You can't be hitting anything for away but the perfusion looks good. Could be broken but you'd have to get a xray. -Looks over at Cowboy who was fired up and thought to himself. "Example of the Valance mojo" right there.- ::::::::::::::::: Cowboy: *Frowns* Let me guess. You two. Fight? *Shakes his head before giving them both a kiss on the cheek.* Talk it out. Fix this. I’ll be waiting upstairs in bed and you two can join me when you’re ready. *Grabs his water and leaves.* ::::::::::::::::: Jake: *glances at Cowboy* Night, baby. *looks down at my hand in Colt's hand* It's pretty swollen. I think the hand is broken. *sighs* I was... a little angry. :::::::::::::: Colt: -Kisses Dean's lips and winks watching him walk out. Turns back to Jake.- Yeah I've been there myself. :::::::::::::: Jake: *continues to look at my hand. nibbling at my lip as I stand in front of you* It was kind of a rough day. :::::::::::::::: Colt: Yeah it's been a couple of rough days actually. Have you figured out why I reacted like I did yet? -Fingers lift Jake's chin up so he can look into his eyes.- ::::::::::::::::: Jake: *my eyes are bloodshot* You're scared of losing me. *swallows thickly* Because you love me. ::::::::::::::::::: Colt: -Nods, searching his eyes.- Tell me we didn't fight like hell to get where we are right now... I know she's not /you/ but she looks like you and we both know what you can do to me. Hell look at Dean. You've got both of us. I don't want to loose what I got because I'm happy for real Jake. I get you feel protective of her so do I but I gotta keep my distance for now. ::::::::::::::::::: Jake: It's just... *swallows, starting to feel tears sting my eyes* I got scared that if her... wild side upset you that badly that you want her out of your sight... *licks my lips* When are you going to feel that way about me? *looks away again* But... *takes a deep breath* Okay. :::::::::::::::::: Colt: Jake, it's not her wild side or that I want her out of my sight. I'm more scared about the attraction I felt for her because of my love for you. Our life and paste in a female version of you. All I think is I didn't take good care of you so much so you left and disappeared. But I realize she might look like you did but that is not /you/ there is only one /you/. And I love you. I'm getting this right. Not getting sidetracked or anything stop us. :::::::::::::::: Jake: *swallows again, still feeling the lump in my throat and knowing my eyes are glassy and tearing* I love you. *shakes a little with emotion but unable to verbalize much else as I stand there with my broken hand* :::::::::::::::: Colt: -Colt put's his arms around Jake and holds him.- I love you too, so much. :::::::::::::: Jake: *takes a deep breath as the tears flow* I'm sorry... I was so scared. I didn't mean all those things I yelled at you. I just... *sniffles again* :::::::::::::: Colt: Shh... baby please don't cry. Never want you to cry or be sad again. It's forgotten. Never wanted to unset you. But please tell you understand what I'm saying I need you to get it, you are my /end game/. :::::::::::::::: Jake: *nods my head* I understand. I do... I didn't mean it when I said I wanted to move out. I don't want to. *closes my eyes as my chest hurts from crying* ::::::::::::::: Colt: That's good because I'd being going to jail for kidnapping you. -Kisses your temple.- This is /our/ home. ::::::::::::::: Jake: **wipes my eyes and chuckles dryly* Yeah, let's not do that. We have enough weird stuff in our family. ::::::::::::::::: Colt: What? You don't want to visit me in prison for conjugal visits? -Laughs hoping to make him laugh.- ::::::::::::::::: Jake: *looks down, chuckling softly* No... Although, that is a place I haven't had sex. :::::::::::::::: Colt: Me either. You tired? -Caresses his cheek.- :::::::::::::: Jake: *nods* And my hand hurts. Do we have any pain medication? ::::::::::::::: Colt: Yeah. Come on. -Offers you his hand.- :::::::::::::: Jake: *leans into you as I take your hand and lets out a soft whimper* :::::::::::::: Colt: -Let's go and takes you're non injured hand. Once upstairs he gives you a Vicodin and glass of water.- :::::::::::::: Jake: *pouts up at you* Can I swallow it with scotch? ::::::::::: Colt: -Brow arches.- Do I need to put you into detox? :::::::::::::: Jake: *rolls my eyes* No, but it does give you a pretty good relaxing mellow. *pouts again* ::::::::::::: Colt: Take the pill and get your hot ass into bed before I have to get mean. :::::::::::::: Jake: *fights a smirks and takes the pill* Yes sir. *rolls my eyes* ::::::::::::::: Colt: I'm going to grab a bath. -Kisses his forehead and walks into the master bath and takes the tape off his hands and tosses it stripping down and turning the water on in the tub.- :::::::::::::: Jake: *watches your for a moment before stepping back and stripping down, climbing in the bed and laying down*
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astrofireworks · 7 years
Text
ok listen i’m working in a radiography clinic over the summer and last week the most beautiful doctor came in and immediately my mind went to doctor!Eunwoo and i broke down today at @nataliekaytbh​ so buddy thank u for crying w me today over Eunwoo 
are you ready 
because i’m sure as hell not 
i’ll be crying over doctor!Eunwoo this whole summer 
intern Sanha
relegated to the registration counter
meaning that when patients come into the radiographer's he takes their name and phone number and puts it into the system and gives them a waiting number
also meaning that when five patients arrive all at once he's up to his eyes in names and numbers and trying not to go cross eyed my poor child
here to make money not to learn so he doesn't mind doing registration and being busy anyway
highkey me
nurse Jinjin
reads out said waiting number and then brings patients into the x-ray room
and has to confirm they're not pregnant or anything that makes them unable to be exposed to X-rays and stuff in general
also helps sanha do registration sometimes when the queue gets a bit too long
radiographer Bin
most of the time sleepily mans the x-ray machines
sometimes the patients ask him if their x-rays are okay or if there's anything wrong with them
what the hell
Bin's not a doctor he wouldn't know
And so tells them that
And gets whacked on the head by nurse Jinjin who comes to escort out the mildly shocked patients with a forced polite smile on his face @ the patient & a glare @ Bin
Shakes his fist indignantly at Jinjin when he leaves
Lab tech MJ
has the lab right next to the radiographer's clinic
Usually collects blood samples from patients
is very good with needles
is also very good at laUGHING and telling jokes in order to make people forget they're here to get blood sucked out of their souls with a giant needle
sometimes laughs really loudly and makes the radiographer clinic patients wonder what's going on
sometimes makes jinjin wonder what's going on too  
not that he gets jealous or anything
not at all
coughs
Nurse rocky
Eunwoo's runner, mostly
Sometimes for the urgent cases that need to be processed immediately rocky doesn't wait for the computer system (which takes centuries) to receive the x-ray
He goes down immediately to bin's and asks whoever's at the registration desk to print it out
i.e, Sanha
i.e., the intern without the password to access x-rays
which means he has to go to jinjin or bin for them
after which he hand-delivers them to Dr. Eunwoo
a lot of staff now know Rocky by name simply because he's always running up and down from Eunwoo's clinic to different departments trying to get stuff for Eunwoo
a sweetheart, really
charms the pants off of all the female nurses
also charmed MJ enough to get MJ to call him whenever MJ's done drawing blood samples from someone from Eunwoo’s clinic
Efficiency™ because that's the way Eunwoo works
ok so mostly because Eunwoo always sends Rocky down he's never been to the radiographer's
Until one day
Sanha messes up
It isn't really a bad mess up !!!!
He just keyed in someone's identification number wrongly
But the thing is that he's been doing that quite a few times
I mean to be fair he's just an intern
And also because he's just started the job !! He makes a couple mistakes sometimes
can you tell I'm basing Sanha off of me and just trying to defend myself rip vivi get ur shit together ;;;;;;
But every time Sanha messes up and Jinjin doesn't manage to check on it and correct it properly the report with the mess up gets sent to Rocky
And Rocky has to waste time trying to fix the mess up
Which takes Rocky away from the important things !! Eunwoo needs him to do !!
But also when Rocky fixes the reports he has to slide on his glasses and it makes all Eunwoo’s patients swoon a Little
Before they go into Eunwoo’s consultation room and swoon a Lot
And so Eunwoo is mildly frustrated and decides to go down during one of his breaks to find out why the radiographer has been messing up the reports so much
And so he swishes his lab coat on & swings his stethoscope off & polishes his glasses and heads downstairs to the radiographer's
Only to see poor Sanha piled underneath a stack of registration forms full of names and phone numbers  
Oh
Okay
So that's why
And nurse Jinjin is running around like a headless chicken trying to shuffle the right people from the X-ray room to the waiting room and vice versa
And Bin is slumped in his room giving instructions in a monotonous voice to the patients  
"take a deeeeep breath" 
"don't think of elephants" 
"sike lmao I bet u did" 
“stOP LAUGHING OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO MESS UP THE XRAY”
"oh my god I didn't tell you to stop breathing you can breathe now"
And the phone is ringing wildly ("so that's why our calls are never answered," Eunwoo thinks) off the hook but nobody can respond because they have like 50 million people in the queue
no lie today i had 50 patients come in over the span of 2 hours it was truly a mess
And so Eunwoo waits for a while
until Jinjin notices that everyone hasn't been speaking for a while and instead staring at a certain corner of the room
in which Eunwoo has been leaning on the wall tapping away on his phone, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose
Looking very much like an angel !!!!!!!!!!!
If angels came with lab coats and glasses
And there's some gentle tittering from the older female patients and some not so gentle whispering and giggling from younger ones
Sanha hasn't even looked up from the registration desk poor dear but if he did he would have-
"oh my god"
Oh well there's sanha looking up then
I mean to be fair jinjin's thought process is somewhere along the same line
But he also has a job to do and no insanely attractive doctor will distract him from it !!!
I mean, an insanely attractive lab tech might but
You know what I mean
Responsible™ Jinjin
So when Jinjin escorts the last giggly girl out of the X-ray room (to be fair the radiographer AND the nurse are both very attractive so really what are the patients to do?) they both finally turn to Eunwoo
And Eunwoo looks up from where he's playing angry birds on his phone to Jinjin smiling politely and Sanha just plain out staring
"hi why are u here where's Rocky"
Jinjin, smacking Sanha on the head: "don't be rude son but yes why are u here where's Rocky"
Eunwoo, smiling that really cute crinkly eyed smile: "nah I just came to see what the situation was with the radiography room since Rocky always has to correct stuff on the reports you guys send up"
Sanha, alarmed and scrambling to defend himself: "djkshdks I-"
Jinjin, pressing his hand against Sanha's mouth: "ah yes it's me I've been the one messing up sorry about that I'll be more careful in the future"
Sanha, confused bc jinjin's covering for him?????
literally me when my boss kind of did the same thing??? guilt x100
Bin, coming out of the X-ray room: "are u covering for Sanha??"
Jinjin spluttering because he's trying to be nice but they're both exposing Sanha
Bin also spluttering because
Wow
Holy shit
Is that a real doctor
Probably not
Eunwoo also spluttering because
Wow
Holy shit
Is that a real radiographer??
Because hi he would like to quit his job and intern at the radiography clinic please
Bin seriously reconsidering his career choices and wondering if it's too late to replace Rocky as a nurse in Eunwoo's clinic because wow
Sanha turning to Jinjin and saying in a very low, serious voice: "while they're ogling each other I think we should escape"
Also Sanha: talk shit get hit gets hit on the head by Bin who coughs grumpily and says
"Listen I don't know who you think you are but here at the radiographer's we're very busy with um like X-rays and radiography and like uh x-raying people and stuff so like"
"could u like move along"
Eunwoo: "it's your lunch break rn"
Bin, defensively: "weLL YES jinjin apologised for his (Sanha's) mistakes so move along now"
Bin avoiding all eye contact by staring at Eunwoo’s lab coat
Which fits Eunwoo very well, he thinks
Doesn't need to be buttoned but hugs him in all the right places
Which is just as well since eunwoo's in a boring (very well tailored) dress shirt and boring (very well tailored) slacks
And very nice glasses he looks very smart and handsome and
Wait I mean
Bin, turning bright red & coughing: "wow yes we gotta gO"
And ngl eunwoo is a little hurt because there are Very Little people in this world who deny eunwoo's small crinkly smile
And there are Even Lesser people who become grumpy when eunwoo smiles his sunshine beam
And this really cute radiographer with black square glasses too big for his face and a small pout is being very grumpy indeed
So eunwoo smiles at Sanha and Jinjin, takes his leave and wanders out of the clinic back upstairs to his own, wondering what he did wrong
And so when Eunwoo leaves, Jinjin immediately whirls around and hits Bin on the shoulder
"WHAT WAS THAT"
(smack) "WHY DID YOU TELL HIM TO LEAVE"
(more smacks) "HE WAS EYEING YOU UP"
(smacks again) "YOU COULD HAVE BAGGED THAT SWEET CANDY"
Bin, sulkily: "like you could have bagged MJ hyung?"
Jinjin, turning red and mumbling under his breath and stalking away
Sanha, thoughtfully: "am I the only one here without somebody to bag"
And so life goes on in the radiography room, with MJ popping in and out to collect blood samples from patients who need Labstix and are in line for their x-ray and Jinjin blushing every time MJ so much as beams in his general direction
Sanha snorting because wow could they get any more obvious
Bin bet Sanha 5$ that Jinjin would make the first move but at this rate Sanha thinks Bin might have to pay up because there's no way in hell Jinjin can form a coherent sentence with MJ's Beam on Full Blast
But then
Eunwoo pops in again
And immediately all activity in the waiting room is halted to stare at this beautiful beautiful man with beautiful glasses and a beautiful focussed look and a beautiful smile
Bin, coming out to see why jinjin hasn't brought his next patient in & ready to give a piece of mind to whoever interrupted jinjin's clockwork routine
Also Bin: stutters and flushes at the sight of eunwoo
"Uh ok what do u want"
Eunwoo, smiling at Bin: "I'm here to collect the X-ray film of patient 777"
Bin, blurting out in confusion: "where's Rocky?????"
Eunwoo, frowning a little because all this poor angel wants to do is see the cute radiographer pout again but all he's doing is making this poor confused face which i mean,,,, ngl,, is kinda cute too,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
until he realises that all of them are waiting expectantly on his answer (except Sanha, who has reverted to frantically pounding on his keyboard in a desperate attempt to reduce the stack of registration forms beside him)
And he says: "I let him rest????"
Jinjin squinting because as long as he's worked here he's only talked to Eunwoo on the phone because not once has this doctor ever let poor Rocky rest
There has to be an ulterior motive
And that motive (insert mental image of lightbulb going off over Jinjin’s head) is Bin
So he beams at eunwoo and shoves him into the X-ray room with bin and says "YES DO THE MEDICAL TALKY TALK IN THERE GO DO THAT SHIT YOU GO BOYS"
Sanha sighing internally because it just means their queue will be held up rip
Eunwoo, flustered and blinking rapidly because wow now he's in a small, semi-dark kind of enclosed room with a really cute radiographer who's self consciously pushing his glasses up and pouting to himself
Wow
Really cute
"Um"
Bin, floundering: "UH YES 777 RIGHT" & bounding over to the computer to print out the report right away mmhmm yes sir
Eunwoo frowning a little because this boy seems like he's trying to get rid of him fast????? But this radiographer’s also really cute and he sees that this boy keeps eyeing Eunwoo so Eunwoo is seriously getting mixed messages?????
So he takes a step forward to bin's table and -
"WHY DO YOU HATE ME"
Oh shit unconscious eunwoo blurting strikes again
Rocky always said it'd hurt him one day
I mean mostly it's been harmless things like "I REALLY LIKE YOUR SCARF" @ a patient and "wow did you do your hAIR THAT'S A REALLY NICE COLOUR"
But shit shit shit he's said it in front of this cute guy
Who's gaping at him?????
Bin, ultimately, in a really small voice because he's confused and also Eunwoo is standing really close to him and all he can think about is that if he cranes his neck out a little he can touch Eunwoo’s nose with his nose and-
Ok Bin focus
"I don't hate you?"
Eunwoo, floundering a bit because ???? IT REALLY SEEMS SO >;(
"PROVE IT"
Oh good job eunwoo
Way to go
Cute radiographer boy probably is going to kick him out of the room
Call security on him
Never see him again
What for have a nice face if you can't woo peopl-
Wait
Cute radiographer boy made a sound
"Wait what"
"I SAID DO YOU HAVE A PLATE ON YOUR KNEE"
wait
What
Eunwoo just blinks in confusion and like
Damn Eunwoo for being so cute just blinking because Bin is going to lose his goddamn mind
He's so embarrassed rn he literally asked angel doctor to "go on a date with me" and now he's messed up and angel doctor is looking at his knee in confusion and really he's messed up he'll never see angel doctor again he'll never go on a date with this beautiful beautiful doctor and -
"uh I don't have a plate on my knee but uh,,,,,,,,, I have,,,, a date??? With uh,,,,,,, thee??????"
Cue grimace from eunwoo because wow he could never rap
Mostly because he cannot come up with things on the spot
Like this
Wow eunwoo good job congratulations
Also grimaces from jinjin eavesdropping outside because wow truly this doctor might look like an angel but his wooing skills seriously need some effort
Bin squeaking slightly because wow he might look all grumpy and tough and a lil shit but
He’s such a smol marshmallow inside
a small harshmallow that’s melting because Eunwoo’s decided to heck it and hit bin with his Full On Angel Smile
you know the one
yeah this one
wow my mum looked over while i was pasting this picture in my working doc as reference and went “WOW I LIKE THIS BOY”
same ma same
so does Bin, too, actually
and so he squeaks out a little, “yes?”
“yes as in yes you’ll go on a date with me?”
smol Binnie squeak: “yes?”
and so they stand there and grin all silly at each other until Jinjin, knocking on the door: “IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH THE REPORT NURSE ROCKY IS WAITING”
oh shit 
ok no but for serious the doctor that came in looked 100% like gong yoo he had the hair and the soft sweater and worn jeans and beautiful smile and everything
listen i’m just so weak for doctor!Eunwoo 
doctor!Eunwoo bringing lunch for radiographer!Bin and them eating in the empty waiting room during their lunch break 
Bin dropping by Eunwoo’s clinic during his breaks and waiting for Eunwoo to finish his consultations just to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek 
wow ok I’m saving this fic idea for another time or I’m truly going to kill myself with feels and tears
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chalkycity · 5 years
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August 8, 2019 Today was a day where I felt so exhausted from the week. We got up and got ready to go muck, and you to ride Matrix. I had so much anxiety today. We hurried and muck the field. I finished just as you were getting Matrix from the field. I watched you and Diane get Matrix ready. You had a very long lesson today. Michael spent time with you, and helping you with your gallop. Diane came in riding Malita, and rode around with you. She helped you with your turns. We changed, and went to the dentist. I had an appointment that I could not cancel. You were very upset that I was going to go in the back. Gjan took you for a walk, and they allowed you to sit in the room after my xrays were done. We left the dentist, and came home and had lunch. We read for a while after lunch. You wanted to use your tool kit. I got a log that you could pound nails in. That kept you busy for quite some time. I received a phone call trying to workout our schedule with Ade. That seems to be worked out for the time being. We decided to go to Wickersham park. You swung for a while. After we sat on all 21 benches at the park. We played a game where we were delivering mulch and leafs to different areas of the park. You started seeing dogs, so we of course had to visit them. On the way out you saw a black lab “Charlie”, and you played catch with him for ten minutes while I talked to his caretaker. When we got home you wanted to you your toolkit, so I let you tear apart my old cassette stereo that I had when I was 7. You had a blast tearing it apart. That is something I loved to do that at your age. It made me so happy watching you do that.
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greysfanpage388 · 7 years
Text
The Big Storm
Hey guys- here’s my latest fic, finally. Sorry for taking so long to get this up, a oneshot which I initially planned as a short and fluffy fic turned out to be much longer than expected, and real life kept on getting in the way. But now, here it is, so enjoy!. :p
This is based on a prompt sent to me a while ago….
PROMPT: Owen and pregnant Amelia at home through a power cut and a big storm. I love your writings!!
p.s. Special thanks to the amazing @jia911 for helping me to proofread! <3
It was a stormy summer night in Seattle. A gale was blowing and trees were swaying. A flash of lighting was followed by the deafening roar of thunder. Lamp posts were being knocked down and trees by the roadside were in danger of toppling on an unlucky car passing by.
Inside the Hunt household, Owen and Amelia were cuddled up on the living room couch, safe from the storm raging outside.
As luck would have it, they were both not on call that night, and therefore took the rare opportunity to enjoy some quiet time together. They had finished their Chinese takeaway before settling on the couch to watch a romantic movie which was halfway playing on the Hallmark channel.
Amelia’s head was rested on Owen’s shoulder and Owen had his arm wrapped protectively around hers.  They both stared at the TV screen in comfortable silence, not really concentrating on the movie but just enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other’s presence.  Amelia adjusted her position so that she was snuggled closer to Owen. She didn’t want to admit it, but the storm raging outside was making her a little anxious.
He embraced her tighter in a hug, pulling her close to his chest. She smiled as she felt the familiar and comforting beat of his heart. No matter how fiercely the storm was raging outside, Amelia knew she would always feel safe in Owen’s arms.
Owen’s heart pounded rapidly at another clap of thunder. He didn’t want to admit it to Amelia, but he was feeling rather unnerved too. The PTSD he suffered from the years of working in the army meant that any sudden, loud noise being emitted would alarm him and possibly trigger off an episode.
Trying to soothe his own anxiety, Owen’s right hand slowly travelled down to Amelia’s 8 month old baby bump, where it rested. He began to gently trace the outline of the baby bump, and smiled when he felt the baby kick. Ever since they found out that it was a girl from the 5 month scan, he couldn’t wait to meet their little girl already.
His eyes focused back on the TV screen, which was now showing a couple passionately kissing. He stole a sideways glance at Amelia and noted a cheeky smile forming on her face. As their eyes met, they both reached an unspoken agreement. It was amazing how much they could communicate through their eyes.
His right hand moved from her belly up to her face and he gently cupped her face. As their eyes met again, he felt a sudden wave of passion and desire for her. At 8 months pregnant, she could still evoke that type of response from him.
Their lips met as their tongues started fighting for dominance. As he drew her even closer to him, his hands travelled underneath her nightgown to rest on her full breasts.
Her hands meanwhile traced the outline of his muscular chest.
Their kiss intensified as hormones began raging. Owen’s hands roamed further to rest on Amelia’s elastic panties. Both of them could feel the passion being ignited between them as their breathing became more ragged.
They both jumped up startled when a sudden flash of lighting was followed by an extremely loud roar of thunder. In an instant, the entire house was engulfed in darkness.
Owen could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his mouth drying up. His first instinct was to run as he had always done in the battlefield. He could feel his fight or flight response being stimulated. He could hear the sound of bombshells being dropped.
‘ Owen!!’ Amelia called out into the pitch black darkness, jolting him back to reality. ‘Where are you? I can’t see you.’
‘ Owen, are you ok?’she repeated in a worried tone when she didn’t receive a response.
‘ Oh no, please God don’t let his PTSD return. Not now.’ she silently pleaded.
‘Amelia- it’s ok, calm down. I’m here.’ Owen answered, trying to maintain a calm voice. Even though he was shaking with fear internally, he knew he had to keep a calm composure for Amelia’s sake. ‘ I’m going to get the torchlight from the kitchen drawer ok? You stay right here. I’ll be back in an instant.’
‘ I’m coming with you.’Amelia insisted stubbornly. Owen knew that when she used that tone of voice, there was no arguing with her.
The truth was, she was afraid that Owen would suddenly get a PTSD attack in the midst of the darkness and roaring thunder. She didn’t want to leave him alone and risk him hurting himself should an attack occur.
‘ Amelia- it’s very dark and I don’t want you to bump into something.’ Owen tried to rationalize, thinking that she was afraid of being alone in the dark. ‘ Please let me take the torchlight. You just sit there and don’t move ok? ’he pleaded, trying to hide the anxiety he was feeling inside.
A sudden strike of lighting and another roar of thunder caused both of them to cling tight onto each other.
Owen held his wife in a tight embrace, stroking her hair and rubbing smooth circles on her back, a gesture which he knew would calm her down. In return, Amelia rubbed the back of Owen’s neck, which she knew would calm him down.
Amelia gradually relaxed in Owen’s arms, her head still leaning on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat returning to normal. Sensing that Amelia was finally relaxed, Owen slowly loosened his hold on her.
‘ You just stay here, I’ll go to get the torchlight from the kitchen. I’ll be back in an instant.’ Owen whispered reassuringly into Amelia’s ear as she nodded, feeling more confident now that Owen was his normal caring self and not about to have another PTSD attack.
Owen felt his way through the darkness into the kitchen, his heart thumping. Throughout the years he served in the army, he had crept into pitch dark abandoned buildings numerous times and heard loud bombshells exploding almost all the time. And yet when he first returned to America, a sudden loud noise or pitch darkness would trigger a PTSD episode in him. After having undergone all the relevant treatments for PTSD under his psychiatrist, the episodes subsided.
However, a sudden loud noise would still cause his heartbeat to accelerate and his entire body to tense up. Now with Amelia and their unborn child with him in the house, he really hoped that he wouldn’t have an attack.
Thankfully, he was familiar enough with the structure of the house to be able to reach the kitchen relatively quickly. He felt in the darkness for the knob of the middle drawer below the kitchen counter where he knew the torchlight was kept.
He opened the drawer and rummaged inside for the torchlight. He sighed in relief as his hand grabbed a hold of the torchlight and switched it on.
Just then, another loud roar of thunder was heard, followed by a loud deafening thud. Owen jumped in shock, almost dropping the torchlight in the process.
His heart rate began accelerating as his mind became fuzzy.
Now he could hear more loud bombshells and gunshots from a distance, followed by footsteps.
Beads of sweat started forming on his forehead. The enemy were approaching  and he knew he had to get out of there fast. The problem was, he was trapped in this building and somehow he couldn’t escape.
He jumped as a hand gripped his shoulder.
‘That’s it, I’m going to be captured and shot dead by the enemy.’ he thought to himself solemnly.
He didn’t have a gun with him to defend himself. His life was about to be ended prematurely.
With the sudden burst of energy he gained, he decided to face his enemy. If he was going to go down, he would go down fighting.
He turned around and delivered a hard blow to his enemy’s stomach, using the elbow of the hand which was not holding the torchlight.
The enemy let out a high pitched yelp of pain.
It was then that Owen regained back his senses and realized to his utter horror that it was in fact his own wife, Amelia.
She was wincing in pain and clutching her right wrist.
‘Amelia,’ he whispered in dismay, unable to believe that he was capable of doing such a thing. No, he would never hurt his wife intentionally. This was not him. This was someone else trapped in his body.
The torchlight beam illuminated the outline of her face, revealing the tears rolling down her cheeks and the hurt look on her face.
‘ Oh my God Amelia, I’m so sorry.’Owen apologized profusely, the tone of his voice showing true remorse as he touched her arm softly. She flinched and recoiled from him as a reflex, which broke his heart.
‘ Amelia, look at me.’Owen pleaded softly. ‘ Please.’
She slowly looked up at him. His facial expression was that of sadness and regret. She was still recovering from the shock of the incident, but she was now able to process what had happened.
She knew that it was another of his PTSD episodes which thankfully have been a rare occurrence lately. She also understood that it wasn’t something that he could control.
‘ It’s ok Owen.’ she said softly.  ‘ I know it’s a PTSD episode and you don’t have control over it.’
‘ Did I hurt you?’Owen asked with concern, rubbing Amelia’s belly as she shook her head, sniffling and wiping away her tears.‘ Did I hit you on the stomach? Did I hurt our baby too? ’he continued to ask, afraid to hear the answer.
‘ Owen, calm down.’ Amelia said, her voice still shaky.‘ You almost hit my belly but I managed to shield it with my hands. My right wrist paid the price though.’ she added with a small teary smile. ‘ But it’s ok. I’ll be fine and our baby is fine.’
‘ Let me examine your wrist.’ Owen demanded gently.
Amelia winced in pain as Owen examined and palpated her wrist which was slightly swollen and tender to touch. The worst thing was, she couldn’t have an xray due to her pregnancy and they both knew it.
‘You can’t get an xray’ Owen noted ruefully.
‘ It’s ok, I can still move my wrist a little, you see?’ Amelia pointed out, demonstrating some movement on her wrist. ‘ It’s most probably just a bruise, don’t worry too much about it.’
‘ Of course I’m worried, I hurt you Amelia!’ Owen muttered, shaking his head in disgust at himself.
‘Owen, you didn’t mean to. I know you would never hurt me intentionally.’ said Amelia softly but firmly and touching his shoulder reassuringly.
‘ But at least let me bandage your wrist.’ Owen offered as Amelia finally conceded. He led her to the couch where he asked her to sit while he went looking for the first aid kit.
______________________________________________________________
‘ The thing which triggered me was the loud crash which was most probably the tree in our backyard.’ Owen explained as he began bandaging Amelia’s wrist. ‘Then you crept up behind me and touched me on the shoulder. I thought it was the enemy capturing me, and I was ready to fight back.’
‘ I shouldn’t have crept up on you like that.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ I heard the loud thud, and wanted to check on you. ‘
‘ You wouldn’t have known. I didn’t see it coming either. I haven’t had a PTSD episode in ages.’said Owen as he completed the bandaging. ‘ I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.’
‘ Yes, you should. I can follow you to the appointment.’Amelia offered.
‘Thanks Amelia , it means a lot to me.’ Owen said gratefully, giving her a small smile.
‘ Well I did promise you that I’ll be here for you, for better or for worse. ’she smiled back.
‘ I’m just glad that Bean is ok.’ she added, rubbing her belly affectionately.
Another flash of lighting and roar of thunder sent Amelia leaning onto Owen’s chest for comfort. Owen held her tight and close to his chest, also feeling comforted by the feel of her in his arms. They sat in that position on the couch for a few moments as Owen savored the warmth of Amelia in his arms and she felt the comfort of his heart beating.
Owen’s hand slowly moved down to Amelia’s belly and rested there as he savored the feel of their baby kicking.
‘ I think she’s restless.’ Amelia chuckled. ‘ She’s moving much more than usual.’
‘ It’s ok bean, don’t be afraid. You’re safe, mommy and daddy are here.’ Owen whispered, stroking the bump lovingly. Usually the baby would stop kicking once she heard her father’s voice. But not today. The baby’s kicks intensified, as if she could sense the storm raging outside.
‘I just felt a very strong kick.’Amelia muttered.
Owen continued rubbing Amelia’s belly soothingly as the kicks gradually subsided.
‘ How are you feeling now?’ Owen asked once Amelia seemed to relax.
‘ I’m ok now, I think she has settled down.’ Amelia replied with a smile as she rubbed her belly affectionately.
‘Good.’said Owen smiling back and giving her belly another rub as another roar of thunder was heard.
‘ Have I ever told you why I hate storms?’ Amelia asked.
‘ No.’Owen answered. ‘ Do tell me.’
He was always intrigued by Amelia’s child hood and wanted to know more about her past. Ever since she opened up more to him since they’ve been back together, she had told him almost everything about her past.
‘ Well…’ she began. ‘When my dad was still alive- whenever there was a storm I would enter my parents room, and my dad would hold me tight and whisper to me not to be afraid and that everything was going to be fine.’
Owen held her hand as he waited for her to continue.
‘ Then after my dad died- my mom would always cry alone in her room. One day when there was a storm, I entered their bedroom to find her crying. She looked up at me, with sadness in her eyes and chased me out of the room. Derek was at a friend’s house and my sisters weren’t particularly warm towards me so I ended up taking my favorite blanket and curling up in the laundry room because somehow my 5 year old mind thought that it was the safest place to be. I didn’t sleep the whole night, and I was shivering with cold the entire time. Since then, every time there was a storm I would relate it to the feeling of being alone and frightened.’Amelia admitted.
Owen held her hands in support.
‘ And when Derek died and Meredith went away- I was alone in that huge house. Whenever there was a storm, I would hide under the covers of my bed, not moving. I wished I had someone to cuddle with and tell me that everything is gonna be fine. ’she continued, a sad expression on her face.
Owen felt a sudden pang of guilt at her words. He had left for the army during that time, leaving her all alone.
‘ You’re not alone now, Amelia. You have me and Bean.’ he reassured her as he pulled her close to him and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
‘ Yeah I know.’ she smiled up at him.
‘ You feeling better now? ’she asked softly as she rubbed his back gently.
‘ Yes, but I’ll still going to see my psychiatrist tomorrow.’ Owen promised. ‘ I cannot afford to have another similar episode.’
Amelia nodded wordlessly as she continued rubbing soothing circles on Owen’s back.
‘ When I first returned from the battlefield, every loud noise would startle me and send my heart racing and me jumping out of my skin. My psychiatrist told me that it was a sign of PTSD. Although my symptoms have subsided a lot since then, I still find my heart racing whenever I hear a sudden loud noise.’ Owen admitted.
‘You’re going to overcome this, I know you will.’said Amelia reassuringly as she cupped his face in her hands and traced the rough outline of his beard.
The torchlight which shone on their faces outlined his masculine facial features.
Amelia suddenly loosened her hold on Owen and rubbed her stomach, showing a weird expression on her face.
‘ Amelia, are you ok?’ Owen asked, alarmed.
His heart thumped in his chest as she didn’t answer him, and continued rubbing her stomach.
‘Oh no, she can’t possibly be in labor. Please no.’ he thought to himself. He knew that the gale outside made it dangerous to drive to the hospital. Furthermore, the streets would be dark with the street lights and traffic lights not functioning.
He knew that he had to remain calm and focused for Amelia’s sake.
‘Amelia how far apart are the contractions?’ he asked once he noticed that she had relaxed.
‘ This is just the first one…a slight crampy feeling at the lower part of my abdomen.’ she answered.‘ Arizona did warn me about Braxton Hicks contractions and that I would feel them more frequently especially during this final month of pregnancy. Maybe it’s just one of those.’ she added nervously. .
‘Let’s time the contractions. If they’re irregular it’s Braxton-Hicks. ‘ said Owen trying to keep a calm facade as he removed his watch and set the timer.
‘But Owen, what if the contractions increase in frequency and intensity and it’s the real deal? What do we do then?’Amelia asked wide eyed.‘ We can’t possibly drive to the hospital in this condition. Oh my God, I can’t have this baby at home!’
‘ It’s ok Amelia.’Owen tried to calm her down, rubbing soothing circles on her arm. ‘ I’ll be with you the whole way. I have delivered babies in the battlefield before. Besides, we don’t even know whether it’s a real contraction. Just relax ok?’
Amelia relaxed, leaning back on Owen’s chest again as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder.
‘ Listen Amelia, I’m gonna try to call Arizona just to inform her to standby ok? In case it’s the real deal.’said Owen as he released his hold on her.
Amelia nodded wordlessly, trying to hide the anxiety she was feeling.
‘ Damnit - there’s no phone service. Looks like the phone lines have been disrupted as well. ’Owen almost slammed his phone on the coffee table in exasperation.
He plonked back on the couch as he and Amelia exchanged worried glances.
‘ It’s ok, we’re gonna be ok.’Owen quickly regained his composure as he pulled Amelia in for another hug.
‘ We haven’t even agreed on a name for this baby. ’Amelia said suddenly, trying to distract them both from the harsh reality of their situation. They both had been through so many baby books and several names stood out for them but they could never agree on a suitable name for the baby.
‘ Well, what name do you want?’ Owen asked. ‘ You said that the name Ava reminded you of a girl who bullied you in school and I mentioned that an ex-girlfriend of mine in high school was named Amanda.’ he pointed out.
Amelia’s face suddenly lit up as a epiphany overcame her.
‘ I want to name her after Charlotte and Addison , my two best friends in LA- if that’s ok with you. They’ve both supported me so much when I was in LA and even up to now. They’ve both made me promise on several occasions to name our daughter after them. Although I know that they were both joking, I think it would be a great tribute to them. They would appreciate it.’
‘ Ok.’ Owen agreed smiling.
He was about to suggest naming their daughter after his sister Megan, whom he missed so much, but he realized that Amelia’s LA friends meant a lot to her and were so friendly to him when he followed Amelia to meet up with them in LA last year. Maybe the name Megan could be reserved for their next daughter should they have another little girl in the future.
‘Whose name comes first, Charlotte or Addison?’ Owen asked.
‘ I don’t know. ’Amelia shrugged, sighing. ‘ I don’t think they would both mind either way.’
The timer went off, indicating that 10 minutes have elapsed since Amelia felt the contraction.
‘ Any more contractions? ’Owen asked as Amelia shook her head.
‘ Maybe they’re Braxton -Hicks after all.’she said hopefully as Owen reset the timer for another 10 minutes.
‘ Hopefully.’ he agreed.
They chatted about their past and reminisced their childhoods. Outside the storm was still raging, but they both felt safe and secure in each other’s presence and company. She told him stories about her wild teenage years as he laughed at her silly antics which she admitted shamelessly to him about. She told him about how alone she felt most of the time, throughout her childhood and teenage years and how her LA friends were the first real friends she had made. He told her about his happy childhood with Megan and how he missed her so much. He also told her about his experience of serving as an army doctor for 5 years and the many wounded soldiers he helped save as she listened in awe.
As the timer went off again, indicating that they had reached the 20 minute mark, they both started to relax a little. Maybe it was indeed Braxton-Hicks after all.
They both settled into a comfortable silence as the storm continued raging on outside.
‘I’m tired Owen.’ Amelia mumbled as she leaned onto his arm, stifling a yawn. He looked down and studied her angelic and peaceful face as she closed her eyes and rested. Her calm, serene expression at the moment certainly didn’t mirror that of someone who had been through so many metaphorical storms in life, and yet was still standing strong. He really admired her for it. He hoped it was a trait that their daughter would inherit.
He thought back to his own life and all the storms that he had to pass through. Amelia entered his life like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, like a silver lighting above the clouds, like a rainbow after the storm. And now holding her in his arms with their unborn baby safely nestled inside her, there was no where else he would rather be. Even with the storm raging outside, his wife and unborn child were safe in his arms and that was all that mattered.
He was jolted out of his thoughts when Amelia let out a soft snore which caused him to chuckle. She seldom snored except when she was tired, so he knew that she must have been exhausted.
She tired more quickly during this final month of her pregnancy.
He slowly and gently shifted her so that she was lying on the couch and placed a pillow under her head. He then softly brushed a strand of her hair to the side and covered her with a blanket. He gently touched her bandaged wrists, still feeling remorse at having caused it.
He would’ve carried her to their bedroom, but he knew it would be impossible to do so juggling her 8 month pregnant body on one hand with a torchlight in the other.
He settled down on the chair opposite her and drifted off to sleep.
______________________________________________________________
The next morning
Amelia opened her eyes to the sound of birds chirping and sunlight pouring in through the living room windows. She tried to move her body but realized that her back was sore.
The storm had subsided and the sky was clear outside.
Her eyes wandered around the living room as she wondered how she ended up sleeping on the living room couch. There was a blanket covering her. Then she saw Owen fast asleep on the chair beside the couch, his head cocked to one side in an uncomfortable position.
‘ Owen.’ she called out.
‘ Owen. ’she called out again louder this time.
Owen opened his eyes and looked around startled, rubbing his eyes.
As he saw her he immediately ran to her side.
‘ Amelia are you ok? Do you still feel any contractions?’he asked concerned.
‘ Nope, no more.’ she answered. ‘ But my back is sore from lying on the couch.’
‘Sorry, I couldn’t carry you up the stairs.’ Owen admitted with regret. ‘ I couldn’t balance carrying your body and a torchlight. ’he added, causing her to giggle.
‘ It’s ok.’ she said, cupping his face in her hands.
‘We still need to get you checked.’ Owen suggested.
‘ I have to start my morning rounds at 9. Maybe we can drop by the antenatal clinic first before I start my rounds.’ Amelia suggested. ‘ Then we’re going to drop by the psychiatry clinic during lunch hour.’
‘Yes ma’am.’Owen replied, causing Amelia to hit him playfully on the arm.
‘Is your wrist ok? ’he asked concerned as he took her hands in his.
‘I can move my wrist more now. There’s still pain when I move it though.’she answered.
‘ After your rounds, I’ll make sure you drop by the ER to get that checked too by an Ortho surgeon.’said Owen.
‘ It’s just a bruise.…’Amelia protested.
‘ Still…..I’m making sure that you get it checked out.’Owen insisted.
_____________________________________________________________
‘ What happened to your wrist?’ was the first question Arizona asked as soon as Owen and Amelia stepped into her clinic.
Owen and Amelia exchanged nervous glances before Amelia answered ‘ Well, I accidentally knocked my hand against the wall. I’m a rather clumsy person. But it’s fine, it’s just a bruise, I can move my wrist now.. See? ’she moved her wrist in front of Arizona. The pain and swelling had reduced considerably since the night before.
Owen sat silently beside Amelia , holding her hand.
Thankfully Arizona did not probe any further and proceeded to examine Amelia.
‘ Well……since you’ve had no further contractions, it’s definitely a Braxton Hicks which you experienced last night.’ Arizona confirmed, after the examination. The ultrasound scan and CTG revealed that the baby’s heartbeat was strong and the baby was developing normally.
‘ Well, thank God. We just wanted to be sure.’ said Owen.
‘ Yes, we panicked for a while last night during the storm when I felt a slight contraction in my lower abdomen. ‘ Amelia admitted. ‘For a moment, I thought that I was going to have my baby at home. We couldn’t reach you for advice as well. Thankfully, there were no further contractions.’
‘ Thank God.’ Arizona said smiling.
Owen and Amelia smiled at each other as they held hands.
‘ Have you decided on a name for your little girl yet?’ Arizona asked as the couple exchanged glances.
‘ Well, we’re thinking of naming her after my two best friends in LA- Charlotte and Addison.’ Amelia answered. ‘ But we haven’t decided on which would be her first name.’
‘ Well you still have time to decide.’ Arizona said cheerfully. ‘Everything seems to be going on well… the due date will be in the middle of August as planned.’
‘So you have your birth plan confirmed- natural delivery with no anaesthesia, but open to intervention should the need arise.’she confirmed.
The expectant parents nodded in agreement.
As Owen and Amelia walked out of Arizona’s office half an hour later, hand in hand, they both realized that they would have each other’s support throughout the storms in life, be it literal or metaphorical. They had each other and their unborn baby, and that was all that really mattered.
Comments, reviews, reblogs and messages are very much appreciated. Guys, please do let me know what you think, I would really love to hear from you all!! <3 I always appreciate feedback a lot, because it’s what keeps me writing. :)
To read about the actual birth of Charlotte Addison, check out the links below ;)
Charlotte Addison's birth:
http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/129766101471/the-time-has-arrived
http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/129899173926/hands
http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/131214893546/hanging-by-a-thread
http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/129965739926/bring-me-to-life
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tygenco · 7 years
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FATE Session notes:
"yes, a badass gangster, going around whistling tunes from The Sound Of Music"
"taking notes in sumi-e" "moose!"
"inconvenient questions" "uncomfortable is more accurate" 
"of the days annoyances..."
"poker, poker, poker, yeah, that's the face"
"oh! I forgot my cat"
"motivates to "never... try... that... again..." 
"I've got force-fields, I'm not worried" "yeah, but they don't"
"hey... that's how you got all those stuffed animals!"
"within a day or two" "okay, so by the end of next week"
"progress!"
The last two sessions are being rolled in to one posting. Long post is long, fair warning.
Oren has had a very uncomfortable couple of days. She got called in to the headmasters office to find him waiting there for her with a cop. Said cop had questions for her, regarding an incident in the park that had happened the weekend before. He handed Oren a picture wherein she's identifiable because of her hair. A few moments of teenage sputtering later, she spills that she was there and that it is her in the photo with her friends and she was trying to make sure they didn't get hurt, and what happens to me now? Idiots running around with guns that they can’t even aim properly is just bad for everyone. She is reassured by the cop that she and her friends won't be arrested, that the cop just wants to verify what happened so they can figure out why there were guns being used.
For the rest of the day, Oren's on edge and the lights on campus are flickering. A lot. Everyone knows something's up but no one's about to confront her because then what? Her legs and right arm aren't functioning very well and she ends up talking with the campus doctor about it. While she's in the doctor's office, she sneaks a peek at Kuzo's medical records because they were right under hers on the desk, and Oren couldn't resist temptation. She's watched by one of the campus cats, and she knows that she maybe shouldn't see what she sees, but wow it lets her in on some potential insight.
The doctor had left the office to go attend to a student with a broken wrist--wherein healing that looks like quicksilver was applied and wow the doctor is way cooler than anyone thought--and Oren is quick enough about her peeking that she isn't caught by the doctor, per say. The cat meows at the doctor when she comes back in and the doctor replies with a calm "Ah, I see," and that's it. She offers to help Oren with some stress relief and Oren accepts; she can't very well learn a damn thing if she's going to be paranoid about zotting people all day.
Tsukiko, in the meantime, has had an interesting chat with Hank, the head of maintenance, and has some ideas of how she might be able to help Oren out.
That was Monday.
Tuesday comes around and Oren's doing a little better, but the lights all over campus are still flickering and she's got electric sparks coming off of her. She's avoiding contact with everyone even more than usual as a result.
Ichiro gets invited to private lessons with the Head Coach--who Oren calls Mistress Valkyrie with sincere respect--and wow does she know how to do a number on someone. Ichiro is practically drenched by the end of the first session, and the Coach hasn't broken a sweat. Hideki Ato, one of the other members of the martial arts club, at first seems to be rather pleased that he gets to lead the exercises, but that falls flat for him when he see the Coach pull Ichiro aside and start working solely with him.
Tsukiko wanders in to the gym a little after this starts. She's measuring energy output and a whole lot of other data, gauging information and keeping it on hand for future reference. Her idea for how to help Oren is in hand, so she's just waiting for a chance to see if it'll work.
Everyone is watching this sparring match between Coach and Ichiro, though. Because almost none of them have ever seen the Coach spar before. It's epic. And when Ichiro finally says that he yields, there's definitely a pleased air to the Coach's presence. Oren picks the moment after they've stopped to go ask the Coach if there's something on campus she can go pour out a crapton of stress on, like something she can shoot at that won't have spill-over damage. Tsukiko chooses this moment to interject that she's got an idea, and Oren agrees but only if they go outside because she's overly cautious about her own power.
The capacitor bracelet that Tsukiko clips on Oren's right arm doesn't look like much. It's neat enough looking, and innocuous looking as well. It feels weird though. Oren can sense that something's going on with that thing; it's cycling some of her... essence? through it and storing up some of the excess. Still, it's a nice gesture, and Oren does her best to get used to it being there.
When the following club day comes around, Oren goes in search of Kuzo. She feels awkward about having peeked at his records and she tries, in the way that only an awkward teenager can, to apologize for infringing on his privacy. Haruna's shy and private, but Kuzo could teach patience to glaciers. He's confused by this; why should she apologize? She had a chance and took it, he gets that. But then she adds that she saw some of his xrays, and she's got plenty of hospital/physical therapy time of her own to know how much it sucks to have so many things broken and healing, and asks how the hell it happened.
That right there makes his expression change for a fraction of a second. It's like he goes inward more, finding better footing before replying. He tells her carefully "pain is an excellent teacher" and she goes slightly pale and moves a step back. She's clearly worried about something but what it is he doesn't know. Her questions put him off balance just enough that he's done with the conversation. As he's leaving the room they were talking in, Oren tells him "I'm sorry," and he looks at her with a baffled expression as he asks "why?".
"It isn't fair to you," is what she tells him, sincerely, and he blinks before pointing out that nothing's fair. He watches her literally bolt from the room and out the building. This gaijin is a weird one, and she's got questions, but she's trying to be polite and honest, so he can't fault her for not being sure of what to say. Hell, he isn't sure what to say. No one's really asked him about his life before and Oren's questions come back up later.
The girls--Haruna, Oren, and Tsukiko--go to a park that's an hour west and north of town to see the cherry blossom fields. Oren surprised them by wearing something slightly more feminine; she normally wears gender-neutral clothing or boys clothes. Lots of photos are taken, trinkets are acquired, and then they head home. Ichiro had a shift at the record store, so he didn't go with. Kuzo declined to go as well, and no one pushed for any reasons as to why.
They get home to find envelopes on their doorsteps, unmarked, sealed, and containing a photo of them while they've been out and about on their own. Oren immediately goes in to her flat, changes in to some different clothes, grabs her skateboard, and speeds her way to the campus, wherein she collects Kuzo. He's gotten an envelope as well, but there's more than one picture there, and boy the story that goes with them is a doozy.
When Oren asks him about what's going on in his pictures, he asks her "do you remember what I told you before?" and she puts her left hand on his shoulder for a moment before saying "yeah, I do. I'll ask you more another time." Haruna is pale as xerox paper because it means that someone knows where they all live, and she's understandably afraid. She asks what this all means, and Oren's the one who points out "it's a game of hurry up and wait," in a bland tone. Tsukiko is scanning all the pcitures for reference later, and decides that she's going to ask the dorm RA who delivered the envelope for Kuzo.
We’re getting in to the story a bit more. Having characters that are teenagers makes for some amusement on how they react to things and each other, and of course it adds to the layering of things. Combat wasn’t run for the sparring between TexasChris’ Ichiro and the Coach, but one can imagine that it was rapidly a game of “gah! keep it off me!” for Ichiro.
At some point, I’ll ask @ishouldrantmore to share some of the Season 1 music; the playlist is huge and wow the things that the music goes with.
Yes, there’s a playlist. (several, really, at this point) We’re fun like that.
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timclymer · 5 years
Text
Cancerous Lung Tumour Encounter
Finding it hard to breathe. Coughing incessantly, even blood. I finally went to an emergency room at our hospital.The nurse said that I should just go to my own doctor. I replied that my doctor had retired and there was a 2 year waiting list for a new doctor in Muskoka. Being a christian I called on the Lord to help me. Wow, then things started to speed up. 3 Doctors, one for the look see and one for the scan on my chest and another to have me admitted.
A tumour was discovered. High blood pressure, low thyroid and low magnesium, low potassium caused me to be put on several drugs. Then a trip by ambulance with a nurse to New Market to have a bronchoscopy by Dr. Toth who also stopped the bleeding. $240. later for the ambulance ride and I was back to Muskoka in bed with an added drug for an allergy reaction to rubber used on me in the New Market hospital. Prednazone was the prescription for 10 days which caused Thrush, so another majic pill to remedy that.
I was in a dilemma that was overcome by my precious daughter-in-law and my darling husband. I really needed a family physician so they went to plead and persuade Dr.Liao in Bracebridge for me. That occurred in the week of Dec.13-21. After phone calls and new doctor appointments with Dr. Liao, I had to return to New Market for the diagnosis Dec 30.2015. A rare tumour with cancer (can’t sir) was their finding in my right lung obtructing a wind pipe,causing a partially collapsed lung. I told Jesus. He said ‘Hold on’! Death came near, very close.
Many visits to several hospitals and specialists and surgeons in Barrie and Toronto followed. Finally it was my decision. Do or die. I hoped for Jesus to show up and show His power to heal. I attended a couple of faith healing meetings where the preacher had 3 bouts of cancer and the Lord healed him of 2 of them, but the third required surgery.I came away knowing that the Lord had a surgeon for me.
Surgery was the only option as chemo and radiation had no power over this tumour that had grown into my windpipe and was cutting off the air to my right lung so much so that the upper lobe collapsed. On April 14,2016 that part of my right lung was removed along with a piece of my windpipe that held the tumour, as well as some lymph nodes.
All was well and Corey, Murv my husband and Casey and Marianne saw me through it and after 3 months I am able to handle the pain.Much prayer from many sources was offered for me also.
Jesus was there for me,as were my family,especially my favorite daughter-in-law Marianne and my son Casey.They called daily after I came home,visited often and gave so much of their time and attention. I called on Jesus many times out of my pain. I also marvelled at the quick responses of the many doctors involved from many countries of this old world. Different shades,languages and religions, but very in tune to my plight.
As a christian I was very tempted to resign myself to my fate and leave this life through the cancer exit to enter a glorious place I had heard about since childhood. I reasoned that if God had not healed me, who was I to expect the medical community to do it.
‘Death was just a part of life’ my husband always said. But as I lay suffocating 24 hours a day, I realized that if it was a rotten tooth, I would have it removed. A very special young doctor in Barrie would not hear of me giving up and sent me to Toronto. The third surgeon we met at the Toronto General Hospital was very convincing and fully confident that he could do this procedure for me. So Dr.Cypel, true to his word was successful.
It has been 9 months now since surgery and several scans, xrays and bronchoscopies to date.I am getting better each week with my good husband supporting me constantly.Marriage works.Prayer is key to getting through. Appreciation for the medical staff in place for patients grows in us as a family.
It is just over a year and a half since I left that evil tumour in the keeping of research. I have not heard of any findings to date.
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is a new blood test finding that I have to see a specialist about. One of my 7 sisters has that same condition. It is a need of more thyroxin but must be monitored by said specialist. Hopefully that will bring my energy level up. Update; April 2018 and specialist says that there is no ‘standard’, accepted help for Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis but the thyroxin I am on needs to be doubled gradually. By Jesus’ stripes I am healed definitely applies here. amen. I have released 15 fat pounds to date. HalleluYah!
Jesus is healing me day by day and time is on my side once again. I can trust Him to care for me until my last days here. The weight gain through all of this has been a concern and as I heal more I can concentrate on ridding this sweet body of the excess 77 lbs. A fatty liver condition will hopefully be eliminated by the PAI diet I use. Update; Oct.2,2018 My weight is down another 10 lbs. and the Hashimotos number has dropped with the prayers and meds working together. My strength is returning as I celebrated my 70th birthday happily thankful for our Lord Jesus helping me to hold on. I am breathing at 80% again.My blood pressure is almost normal.
We have had a lot of stress in these few years with family deaths, young and old,separations,church splits,a grandaughter working way far north in Nunavit,a forest fire in French River close to many of our families,wells dry, and sicknesses in several of our children and grandkids. We just keep holding on to Jesus and walking daily in faith believing for a great revival in Canada. If you are suffering similar things too just take it one day at a time and be thankful to be getting through together. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers us out of them all.Amen!
Source by Dona Hatherley
from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/cancerous-lung-tumour-encounter/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/187786918005 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress
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homesolutionsforev · 5 years
Text
Cancerous Lung Tumour Encounter
Finding it hard to breathe. Coughing incessantly, even blood. I finally went to an emergency room at our hospital.The nurse said that I should just go to my own doctor. I replied that my doctor had retired and there was a 2 year waiting list for a new doctor in Muskoka. Being a christian I called on the Lord to help me. Wow, then things started to speed up. 3 Doctors, one for the look see and one for the scan on my chest and another to have me admitted.
A tumour was discovered. High blood pressure, low thyroid and low magnesium, low potassium caused me to be put on several drugs. Then a trip by ambulance with a nurse to New Market to have a bronchoscopy by Dr. Toth who also stopped the bleeding. $240. later for the ambulance ride and I was back to Muskoka in bed with an added drug for an allergy reaction to rubber used on me in the New Market hospital. Prednazone was the prescription for 10 days which caused Thrush, so another majic pill to remedy that.
I was in a dilemma that was overcome by my precious daughter-in-law and my darling husband. I really needed a family physician so they went to plead and persuade Dr.Liao in Bracebridge for me. That occurred in the week of Dec.13-21. After phone calls and new doctor appointments with Dr. Liao, I had to return to New Market for the diagnosis Dec 30.2015. A rare tumour with cancer (can’t sir) was their finding in my right lung obtructing a wind pipe,causing a partially collapsed lung. I told Jesus. He said ‘Hold on’! Death came near, very close.
Many visits to several hospitals and specialists and surgeons in Barrie and Toronto followed. Finally it was my decision. Do or die. I hoped for Jesus to show up and show His power to heal. I attended a couple of faith healing meetings where the preacher had 3 bouts of cancer and the Lord healed him of 2 of them, but the third required surgery.I came away knowing that the Lord had a surgeon for me.
Surgery was the only option as chemo and radiation had no power over this tumour that had grown into my windpipe and was cutting off the air to my right lung so much so that the upper lobe collapsed. On April 14,2016 that part of my right lung was removed along with a piece of my windpipe that held the tumour, as well as some lymph nodes.
All was well and Corey, Murv my husband and Casey and Marianne saw me through it and after 3 months I am able to handle the pain.Much prayer from many sources was offered for me also.
Jesus was there for me,as were my family,especially my favorite daughter-in-law Marianne and my son Casey.They called daily after I came home,visited often and gave so much of their time and attention. I called on Jesus many times out of my pain. I also marvelled at the quick responses of the many doctors involved from many countries of this old world. Different shades,languages and religions, but very in tune to my plight.
As a christian I was very tempted to resign myself to my fate and leave this life through the cancer exit to enter a glorious place I had heard about since childhood. I reasoned that if God had not healed me, who was I to expect the medical community to do it.
‘Death was just a part of life’ my husband always said. But as I lay suffocating 24 hours a day, I realized that if it was a rotten tooth, I would have it removed. A very special young doctor in Barrie would not hear of me giving up and sent me to Toronto. The third surgeon we met at the Toronto General Hospital was very convincing and fully confident that he could do this procedure for me. So Dr.Cypel, true to his word was successful.
It has been 9 months now since surgery and several scans, xrays and bronchoscopies to date.I am getting better each week with my good husband supporting me constantly.Marriage works.Prayer is key to getting through. Appreciation for the medical staff in place for patients grows in us as a family.
It is just over a year and a half since I left that evil tumour in the keeping of research. I have not heard of any findings to date.
Hashimoto’s thyroiditis is a new blood test finding that I have to see a specialist about. One of my 7 sisters has that same condition. It is a need of more thyroxin but must be monitored by said specialist. Hopefully that will bring my energy level up. Update; April 2018 and specialist says that there is no ‘standard’, accepted help for Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis but the thyroxin I am on needs to be doubled gradually. By Jesus’ stripes I am healed definitely applies here. amen. I have released 15 fat pounds to date. HalleluYah!
Jesus is healing me day by day and time is on my side once again. I can trust Him to care for me until my last days here. The weight gain through all of this has been a concern and as I heal more I can concentrate on ridding this sweet body of the excess 77 lbs. A fatty liver condition will hopefully be eliminated by the PAI diet I use. Update; Oct.2,2018 My weight is down another 10 lbs. and the Hashimotos number has dropped with the prayers and meds working together. My strength is returning as I celebrated my 70th birthday happily thankful for our Lord Jesus helping me to hold on. I am breathing at 80% again.My blood pressure is almost normal.
We have had a lot of stress in these few years with family deaths, young and old,separations,church splits,a grandaughter working way far north in Nunavit,a forest fire in French River close to many of our families,wells dry, and sicknesses in several of our children and grandkids. We just keep holding on to Jesus and walking daily in faith believing for a great revival in Canada. If you are suffering similar things too just take it one day at a time and be thankful to be getting through together. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers us out of them all.Amen!
Source by Dona Hatherley
from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/cancerous-lung-tumour-encounter/ via Home Solutions on WordPress
0 notes
carasueachterberg · 7 years
Text
If it’s painful, you become willing not just to endure it but also to let it awaken your heart and soften you. You learn to embrace it. – Pema Chodron
The heavy sadness that followed me everywhere this weekend despite the sunshine, seems to have let up a bit. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve had my first real sleep in three nights or that the tide has truly turned in my puppy pen.
If you’ve been following on the Facebook Another Good Dog group, you know that it has been a tragic few days here.
After three nights of nearly no sleep, it’s hard to remember the order of events, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I mix up a detail or two.
As I mentioned in the previous post, Darlin’s temperature dropped soon after she arrived here Thursday afternoon which meant that labor was imminent.
It started out well with Darlin’ beginning serious labor around 4am on Friday morning. She panted and worried and we took many strolls around the yard. She grew anxious whenever I left the room, so I got a book and hunkered down to wait. Finally, around 8:30am she began seriously pushing and I called Deb, another foster, who had agreed to come help me.
At 9:35 we had our first pup- a brown male. He looked tiny to me- easily half the size of Estelle’s newborns and considering Estelle weighed less than half of what Darlin’ weighed that was my first cause for worry. Darlin’s belly was huge and if all the pups were this size, there were going to be a lot of puppies. The pup was pretty lifeless, but Darlin’ licked him to life, and I tried to help him find a teat.
As labor continued, Darlin’ became restless and tried to dig up the bedding to bury the pup.  We wondered if it was Deb’s presence, so she backed out of sight and remained in the hallway. Deb called several other OPH people for me to get their advice. The puppy seemed weak and mom seemed panicked. The other dogs could hear what was happening and they whined at the gate where they were confined in the living room. Both Vera and Estelle have been mamas, and their interest and concern was evident.
The second pup, a black and white girl, arrive 40 minutes later. She was even tinier, but she came out screaming and thrashing and easily latched on to her mom. Okay, I thought, this litter is going to be huge but maybe they’ll be okay.
Darlin’ remained panicky and began trying to pick up the pups to take them outside. It occurred to me that she may have had all her other litters outside and she felt a need to hide the puppies. Tracy, another puppy foster, said Darlin’ must not feel safe yet and suggested we do something to muffle the noise of the house and the other dogs, so I found a fan and Deb placed it outside the room on high. I turned off the lights in the room, except the warm glow of the grow lights over my flowers. Darlin’ calmed down.
She delivered pups 3, 4, and 5 in fairly quick succession. Each pup was small – somewhere between the size of the first born and the tiny spitfire girl pup who was still nursing strongly. All three were nearly lifeless upon arrival, but perked up and nursed once Darlin’ attended to them. I tried to help them find a teat and get the milk started. Edith and Estelle’s pups hadn’t needed so much assistance. Was I doing too much? Not enough?
By 1pm, Darlin’s belly still looked large, but deflated. Maybe she is just fat, I thought, as I took her outside and she pottied. She didn’t want the food I offered, but gobbled up chicken jerky treats and drank plenty of water. She was still uneasy and kept trying to pick up several of the pups and carry them out of the room. I had to redirect her back each time and I worried that she would hurt a pup in the rough way she carried them—they squalled each time. I remember Edith gently picking up her pups and moving them into a pile so she could watch or warm them. This was nothing like that. This was more like Darlin’ grabbing a bag of groceries and hauling it out.
My son Ian walked the other dogs and I was able to get a few breaks, even prepping dinner and getting it in the crock pot thanks to Deb, who sat in the doorway and kept an eye on Darlin’, calling me when she began trying to remove pups.
By the middle of the afternoon, Darlin’ was resting, all five pups were nursing. I breathed a sigh of relief and Deb took off.
My biggest concern was that Darlin’ was still not eating anything but chicken jerky treats. Other than that, though, she seemed normal except for her occasional efforts to remove several of the pups. She seemed to always pick up the same two, but I didn’t think anything of that until later. I stayed close, though, because whenever I left, she attempted to bury the pups in the towels lining the box or tried to carry them to the door to take them outside.
My husband arrived home from picking up my oldest son from college and we all sat down for a late dinner and a much needed glass of wine. I was out of the puppy pen, maybe an hour, but when I returned there was a sixth puppy. It was cold and barely moving and Darlin’ was ignoring it and nursing the other pups. I rubbed it and warmed it; it was definitely alive. She was a little black girl puppy. I helped her find a teat and she suckled weakly.
Were there more? Darlin’ seemed calm as long as I stayed in the room. I kept remembering the advice I’d been given about not letting too much time go between pups – no more than two, maybe three hours, before you should call the vet. It had been seven. I called my neighbor and vet, Chris, and he came right over.
He said Darlin’ looked good and she stood up and wagged her tail for him. Her gums were pink, she was drinking and peeing, she didn’t seem uncomfortable, she had no fever. He checked to make sure there were no more pups in the birth canal and palpated her. He hesitated and said, he was fairly sure it was just uterus he was feeling, but we wouldn’t know unless we did an xray. We decided that since Darlin’ seemed fine, we’d wait. If she was in distress later, we’d get an xray. It seemed too risky to take her and her fragile pups to the clinic for an xray unless it was an emergency. Darlin’ was acting fine. As long as I didn’t leave the room, she didn’t attempt to take the pups out or bury them anymore. I snapped pictures and posted them on Instagram and Facebook. New puppies!
I stayed up watching Darlin’ until I began falling asleep upright next to the puppy box. I needed sleep, so at midnight, I barricaded the door to the room (there is no actual door on our puppy room) and went to bed. At about 3am, I heard the other dogs whining and raced to the puppy room to discover that Darlin’ had delivered another puppy. This one was long and skinny and black—a boy. He was weak and I stayed up the rest of the night making sure he nursed. It was only a half-hearted effort, but he did latch on.
By morning, I was exhausted and didn’t trust my judgment. I called others who knew more and everyone agreed it was odd, but miraculous that the two late puppies had survived. I stayed in the box with the puppies until late morning, making sure everyone was nursing at least every two hours. Two of the original five had me worried. They were nursing, but weren’t getting the little plump bellies that my other puppies had all had. I checked that Darlin’ had milk and it easily came out. The ‘late puppies’ seemed to be doing well, too, nursing on their own now. Still, I was uneasy and so was Darlin’.
At lunchtime, I needed a break. Nick suggested we take a walk. It was a gorgeous day. We ran into neighbors who were out for the same reasons and walked together. Estelle and Vera were thrilled at the outing. When we came back, Darlin’ had twirled the towels into a nest and buried almost all the puppies inside it. Terrified, I unwrapped the puppies, who were fine. I got everyone settled in and nursing. The two puppies, I’d worried about were still looking thin, but when I helped them find a teat, they suckled. The afternoon went by and Darlin’ continued to try to remove those two puppies. It was a little dance we did. She picked one up and took a step towards the door. I said, “No!” firmly and she put it back down.
I left the pups to make dinner and when I came back the two puppies were beginning to feel cold to me. I don’t know if it was because of all the carrying or the fact that she left them alone so much. I had tried to keep them on the heating pad as much as possible or up against their mama, but Darlin’ kept picking them up and trying to take them out of the box.
As the evening wore on, I repeatedly tried to put them to her teats, but they only suckled half-heartedly and fell off if I didn’t hold them in place. Again and again, I tried to get them to nurse, squirting out some milk and wiping it on their lips and in their mouths. They faded so fast. There was no time to call anyone, do anything. They passed silently, quietly lying against their mama’s side while the other pups were nursing.
This made me desperate to make sure everyone else was nursing. Pup #7 had the same long, skinny look the two that died had, but he seemed to be strong and when I put him on a teat, he latched on. Still, every chance she got Darlin’ carried him around, trying to take him out of the box, out of the room. What did she know? I wondered. Would we lose him, too?
I stayed up the whole night, sitting in the box so that Darlin’ wouldn’t take pup #7 out. She ignored him, but allowed me to try to get him to nurse. Towards morning, he began to grow cold and wouldn’t latch on, so I put him under my shirt and tried to warm him up. It was becoming clear he wasn’t going to make it. I watched the others, wondering if I would lose every one of them one by one.
Only one pup aggressively looked for a teat—pup #2, the tiny little girl I’d been calling Doodlebug. The others would nurse, once I got them started. I watched the clock and followed Doodlebug’s lead. When she began trying to nurse, I lined up everyone else. Pup #7 was too weak to nurse now and I laid him against his mama for warmth.
  Watching him pass was beyond painful. I don’t know if it was my tears or her own sadness, but Darlin’ picked up the pup and carried him around the box, whining. I know she wanted to take him out. She knew he was dying. Is it instinct that makes a dog do this? I had a pony once who was 39 years old and dying of old age. She grew weaker day by day, but every morning she would labor her way up to the far corner of the field, away from the other horses and remain there all day until I brought her back down each night. I’ve heard that dogs and cats will disappear when it is their time. Why do they leave? One person told me it’s a herd thing—they know they’re dying and don’t want to draw predators. That seems awfully selfless, perhaps it’s only our human desire to give it an altruistic spin. Whatever the reason, when Darlin’ pulled a towel and pawed it into a nest in the corner, away from the others, I didn’t stop her. She lay puppy #7 down in the nest and then lay alongside it and waited while the pup passed.
That was the lowest moment of the entire weekend. I still can’t get that tiny pup’s little face and silent cries out of my head. I felt so helpless. When my tears finally stopped, I still felt helpless, but I was also angry. The people responsible for this tragedy will never know it. Whoever fed this dog and called her their own, didn’t care enough to have her spayed. This was not Darlin’s first litter. This was nothing like watching Estelle’s bewilderment delivering her first puppies. Darlin’ knew what was happening. Twice, when a puppy wasn’t emerging quickly enough, she reached around and pulled the pup the rest of the way out with gentle teeth.
This dog should have been spayed years ago. Even if she came from a poor family, most shelters and rescues will spay for free. In fact, World Spay Day is coming up in another week. OPH is partnering with many vet clinics, including the one right here in York County, to pay for spay operations for anyone who can’t afford it. I was planning to go to the clinic that day so that I could write about it. I’m certain there were opportunities like this where Darlin’ came from, and yet, no one could be bothered.
How many puppies has Darlin’ already produced? If she is six-years-old, as the health certificate states, a conservative estimate is 70 pups. I’m willing to bet anyone who Darlin’s owner gave or sold a pup to, wasn’t the kind of person to spay their dog. There could be hundreds, if not thousands of more puppies out there because of Darlin’.
Whoever allowed this dog to get pregnant again, and then tossed her to a shelter where she could be euthanized – that person has never watched a puppy die. She or he has never sat in the near dark, cradling a cold puppy to her chest, sobbing, hoping, praying, wishing that this world was different, that people were better, and feeling completely hopeless to change any of it. If they had, this never would have happened.
The rest of Sunday was a fog of desperately trying to get the remaining four puppies to nurse. Darlin’ had begun trying to carry pup #1, a brown male pup I’d been calling Puddin’ Head, out of the box. I called everyone frantically—what can I do? What can I do?
Laurie, the current director of OPH, whom I’d met at the airport when I picked up Darlin’ suggested I try wiping Karo syrup on their gums. She said their sugars were probably low and this might give them energy to nurse.
She also told me that OPH would support any decision I made. If I wanted to haul all the pups to the Pet ER and get them hydrated with IV’s and put in intensive care and start them on bottle feeding, then do it. If I wanted to take Darlin’ in and get another xray to be sure there was nothing there, that would be fine. All I had to do was contact the OPH medical coordinator and get that ball rolling.
I told Laurie I didn’t want to do these things. I didn’t say this because I’m a heartless person. My heart was breaking over these pups, minute by minute. I said this because as I sat in that box and watched my pups struggling, I knew that much of this is out of our hands. We could do everything and spend thousands trying to save these pups, and ultimately they might not make it. And then we have thousands of dollars less to save dogs that will make it. How many were dying by euthanasia in a shelter as I sat and scrambled to keep my pups alive?
No, I told Laurie, I would do what I could here, but I didn’t think we should spend the resources. Dogs have been doing this for ages without any help from us. If these four pups are strong enough to survive, they’d make it and if they didn’t, then lets use that money to go rescue fifty in their place.
After applying the syrup, three of the pups did perk up and two even latched on without my assistance, but the brown pup wasn’t interested and Darlin’ kept carrying him away. I stayed in the box all day. I was afraid to leave. It seemed like every time I did, the situation got worse.
Slowly, as I watched, three of the pups perked up. Doodlebug had always been the strongest—ironic, because she is clearly the runt, tiny and half as long as the others. But now the other two pups, pup #6 (who we’d been calling BOGO, ever since she surprised us with her late appearance) and pup# 5, Schnookie Putz, a larger male version of Doodlebug, with Boston Terrier coloring, were nursing vigorously.
Only the brown pup, Puddin’ Head, remained lethargic. I wiped more Karo syrup on his gums. I needed some sleep, the world was looking pretty foggy after three nights with nearly no sleep. I worried that Darlin’ would carry Puddin’ Head out of the room if I wasn’t there, so Nick got out one of the puppy pens and secured it around the box and a small area outside the box to put food and water, a blanket, and some puppy pads for Darlin’s use. He hung a curtain over the doorway so that the heater and humidifier would be more effective (Darlin’ was congested as she’s been recovering from Kennel Cough). There was nothing more I could do, so I went to sleep and prayed we’d eek out a miracle.
Now it’s Monday, and all four puppies are still with us. They are small and still look incredibly fragile, but Darlin’ has settled. The remaining pups have little bellies and mewl when they’re hungry. Most importantly they can latch on to their mother’s teat without my assistance. She is not picking anyone up. I’m not certain they are out of the woods, but I can see some light now.
Thanks for all the positive messages and suggestions. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to respond to all of them – but when I was trapped in that tiny room, waiting and hoping, it was great to see your support pop up on my phone. I’ll continue to post updates on the Another Good Dog facebook page throughout the week and please keep your prayers and positive thoughts coming.
If you know of anyone who has a pet that needs to be spayed or neutered and they are hesitating because of costs (or any other reason), please tell them that February 28th is World Spay Day, many clinics are offering free or discounted surgeries. And if they can’t find one, put them in touch with me and I’ll make sure they get the resources to have their dog spayed or neutered.
Thanks for reading. If you’d like to know more about me and my writing, I’d be honored if you stopped by website, CaraWrites.com.
Tragic turn to this birth story- spay & neuter your pets #fosterdog @rescueoph If it's painful, you become willing not just to endure it but also to let it awaken your heart and soften you.
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Text
I think a good metric for the quality of a city is if there is an equally good chance, while drinking a morning coffee, of seeing a tank drive by or seeing a dead cat. Chongqing, China is this city. It was also a city that brought a lot of firsts: On the sports front, the first time playing basketball next to dancing formations of military men and women. On the culinary front, the first time eating a pig’s brain. On the drug front, the first time smoking meth.
I should point out that I flew into Chongqing in a haze of a drug hangover and a bit of wonder at the events that led me to be on that plane in the first place. It all hinged on Rona. I had met Rona in Prague the year before and over the course of 3 days (spread out over two periods when we overlapped in the city… and these aren’t “full” days, as in I didn’t spend 72 hours with her, maybe 35 hours, tops. And a lot of that was on a rickety boat in the Vltava river dancing in what I assume was vomit) we decided that I should come to Chongqing in order to pursue a group show with her. After some emailing to institutions over there, everything was set to go.
I departed Berlin for Chongqing and my timeline with her wasn’t really on my mind, yet, as I was exiting the security checkpoint in Tegel desperately looking for a Club Mate to drink before boarding my flight to China. I was parched and the long lines and xray machine (they just seem dry, don’t they? Cooking everything just a little bit) had left me needing both bubbles and caffeine. I entered an airport market and on opening my coin purse to pay for my drink, noticed that I had mindlessly wandered through the airport with a half gram of cocaine and 3 tabs of acid.
I’d like to say this is the first time I’ve done this, but it is, in fact, the third. The other two times were both on flights taken from Seattle to LA. The first of those LA trips occurred when I casually threw a bag of drugs (mushrooms and MDMA), that a group of friends and I were planning to take over the weekend, into my carry on bag the night before my flight, and then promptly forgot about them. This meant I walked through the airport with a carryon whose first item on opening was a ziplock bag full of drugs, conveniently on top of both my toiletry bag and laptop, both of which I forgot to remove from my bag. How this didn’t end poorly, I’m still unclear on. I think maybe it’s like dazzle camouflage in World War 1: it was let through because it was all just a bit too much.
The second LA trip was to chase a woman who had firmly shown me that there is no upper bound for the intensity I can love someone while still knowing that someday they will probably forget me. This is actually still on ongoing story, but it’s not very funny, or entertaining. This particular woman did create an image in my head, however, that I will probably never forget: we were sharing an apartment in Prague, and we had just woken up in my bed; high ceilings, everything painted white. There is a balcony overlooking a park, and huge snow flakes are drifting down pulling both the room and our lives into total silence. The light is dense and compact. It fills but does not overwhelm; it is a light that is reminding us of the totality of our lives. Some swedish knock-off white linen comforter is covering us, with a motif of blue trees with little blue birds in their branches. Her head is pushed into that spot where my arm meets my shoulder and it makes me feel like I am at once protecting her and also in awe of something very far away. We are looking out the large french doors to the balcony, and in between us and those countable snow flakes, huge like doilies under a grandmother’s teacup that all the neighborhood loves, is this woman’s ass peaking out from the blanket. We seem to both see her ass at the same time. She leans up to look at me with these eyes that have no mercy but can understand too much kindness — these are eyes that lovers are made of — and she says “look, a rabbit.”
Anyway. That is a side bit about a perfect moment in time. The point is when I went to see her, I threw on a hoodie that had a joint in one pocket, and 15 tabs of acid and a gram of cocaine in the other (there’s a pattern isn’t there?)
Once I had made it through Berlin security, though, I was scared about flying into China with drugs. I’ve never been to China, but the propaganda machine in the US is strong, and had given me a mental image of a country that seemed chronically terrifying in their treatment of human life. My solution to this problem was to quickly consume the half gram of cocaine, and to take one tab of acid. I didn’t think anyone would really pick out a tab of acid from a coin purse — they’d probably just assume the little ball of tinfoil was making company with other shinny things — but I thought one tab might help balance out the uncomfortable high that comes along with doing a half gram of cocaine in a very small amount of time.
I’m still not sure, in retrospect, if this was the right decision. I’m certain that the woman sitting next to me felt it was an awful idea. Her experience was sitting down next to someone who was overly concerned with the alignment of air vents, while gleefully rattling on about the different ways it is possible to organize genres of movies on the in-flight entertainment. “THEY’RE ALL FOREIGN FILMS TO SOMEONE, RIGHT??!” as I quickly do a tactile check of the air vents for the 100th time, while banging my knees together to what I believe was a Young Thug track playing on some level of my brain. I can be very cliche.
The flight is long, though, and with too many hours still left everything started to settle into “normal”, and that’s when I thought to myself, “How do I actually know Rona?”. The answer was really, “I don’t.” So as we descended into Chongqing, population 30 million, I was getting ready to share a flat with, and work with, a woman that I didn’t really know, for a month, before spending a second month there on my own, all in a city I didn’t know.
And to be honest, our relationship and time went really well. She’s one of those people that if you get into her space on day 1, day 2000 will be equally accessible. She shows up with no assembly required. No batteries needed. It’s all there. There was a cold war period of about a week, due to some assholeness on my part, but as part of our treaty agreement, I think it’s best that that side story gets left to another time.
But this writing all started with me stating firsts that included military formations, pig brains, and meth. And while I’ll get to each one of these items, I think it’s interesting to point out that in most stories the LARGE piece of it, the summit of the story, is actually quiet uninteresting, but it is the details leading up that cause for pause. Maybe this is one of those things that everyone already notices and I’m late to the game on.
I have a friend Emanuel who claims that while watching Fight Club for the first time that he knew immediately that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton were the same character. I still don’t know if I believe him, but I do know that I am amazingly good at suspending disbelief — to the point where I watch things and don’t worry about any structure between one frame and the next, or if things even make sense in general, I’m just happy that a machine is spinning away shoving images into my eyes at 30 frames per second.
The point of mentioning this is that I think I can sometimes suspend disbelief of my entire life, which I guess is me just saying that I’m good at ignoring running themes and important details of the world around me. Or maybe I don’t see the ones everyone else does.
Anyway. There are bits and pieces about the basketball: Military formations right next to the courts, white gloves that sway and sometimes were even part of elaborate pop music dance numbers involving 200 different soldiers. There was the street baller named Chocolate, who’s favorite NBA player was Jason Williams (a.k.a, White Chocolate). Chocolate wasn’t white, but did have a picture on his phone of him and Williams during an NBA promotional tour of China. People didn’t smile much playing ball there, or set screens. Both things I do a lot of. In fact, I believe in a good hard foul to stop give away baskets, which wasn’t a custom on this court. If you go and foul someone in pickup basketball when there is a precedence set for not touching anyone at all, a precedence you are oblivious to, yet people would assume you would be following, the look on peoples face as you deliver an obvious foul is a bit like you walked up and slapped a strangers baby while it lay in a carriage. Importantly this analogy requires a stranger’s baby, because the look is not anger, but more like, “what the fuck is that about?” Disbelief.
The pigs brain is uninteresting, really. It just tasted like weird tofu, so let’s move on.
When I first got to Chongqing I was introduced to my sidekick and future friend, Joey. He picked his english name from Friends (very strange choice I think based on personality, although Chandler and Ross are hard names to say for Chinese people) and met me the first time wearing a generic Cleveland Cavaliers jersey. I asked if he liked Lebron James, and he replied, “Who?”
China is strange like that because everything looks like it does everywhere else but for some reason you can’t quite participate in the same way. I’m convinced it’s something to do with how the Chinese language is structured, which is so different from a western language. And since language makes our reality, I think their reality is very different. It always felt like I was watching everyone jump into a stream, but when I tried to, I bounced off the surface of the water.
Eventually Joey and I got to partying together, which made me want to find some good vice. The problem was that most of the people talked of hardcore drug users as the people that sucked NO2 balloons and smoked weed at this one bar/club called Echo Bay; people hanging around someone frying pork on open coals, while another person sits with a huge NO2 tank, filling up balloons for that 20 second rush of brain cells dying. Drug culture is so stratified in China that the lower, more sober, layers don’t have any idea about the layer above them. But it is there. You just have to look. This weed/NO2 layer thought they were king, but they were just jesters. There was a layer above and it was a layer dense with meth and ketamine.
When I first met Mustafa he claimed to have quit doing drugs years ago, and encouraged me to “live the party with my own pure excitement.” I told him that seemed like it was working for him (although, and I didn’t say this then, it sounded like the kind of thing someone says when they are trying to convince themselves this is the case) but that I really enjoyed drugs. Just as they are. No need for excuses, just bring on the drugs.
And so it was a few weeks later that he asked me, “want to smoke some ice?” I’d never smoked meth before, but I’d heard that it was a drug that was used by people that were quite well off in the country, and also was a huge export from China. My cultural curiosity got the better of me and we were soon on the back of his knockoff Vespa, weaving through traffic with the bright lights of the Chongqing downtown across the river on one side, and the dark outlines of rundown apartments on the other. I’m a large guy, and Mustafa is sort of average build, but the two of us on that scooter, my knees poking out to the sides like trolling rigs on a fishing boat, wheels going all squirrelly from all the weight, seemed like the only way to drive to a drug dealers apartment in China. A cartoon version would be the emoji for “buying meth in China”.
We weave out of traffic, towards the sidewalk, with Mustafa yelling “hop off before I hit the curb!”, I sorta popped my bum up, and pulled my legs off the scooter, so that I ghosted off the back of the scooter landing in a quick jog as he expertly popped the curb and parked in front of one of the run down apartments. I think to this moment as a cirque du soleil moment; it had equal grace and skill from both parties.
There was a large cage over the entrance to the apartment block, and Mustafa didn’t have the guys phone number, but I noticed a buzzer switch for the gate about 3 meters inside, and using a piece of bamboo I was able to push the button and let us in.  Upstairs we werer let into an apartment that I can only describe as part brothel, part gambling ring, and part meth den. But in a classy way. Everyone was in suits and there were bowls of exotic fruit everywhere; I was immediately offered a coconut water on entry. Nothing makes smoking meth classier than some fresh fruit and coconut water. Actually I think it makes about any vice seem alright and somewhat dignified.
Preparing meth is pretty fabulous. Movies always make it look all dingy and gross in some trailer that is permanently caked in dust and oil, while someone heats up some glass apparatus, inhales, and falls listlessly back into a couch that is sun-bleached and covered in cigarette burn holes. This place is all leather and spotless glass tables. It’s like Bauhaus but with everyone looking very excited, talking at very rapid clips about topics of no consequence.
Mustafa flattened out a piece of tinfoil, perfectly flat with no wrinkles, sprinkled on some meth, heat the tin foil, which melted the meth into a nice glass sheen. He then offered me a sort of water pipe. The idea is that you heat the tinfoil, see-sawing the little liquid meth ball that forms, sucking in the smoke that comes off the top. It’s a bit like playing that maze game with a marble where you tilt the board and keep the ball from falling into holes. But you get high. And it’s a high that is neither pleasurable nor displeasing. You’re just high. It’s a bit like getting an average, non-painful handjob. But the process! Really one of the more fun processes out there.
The night floated on from there. We met back up with friends and went to a high-end karaoke bar where I grabbed some tinfoil and straws from the attached restaurant and convinced Mustafa to make a rig in the bathroom of the karaoke bar. Surrounded by all that marble and stainless steel bathroom fixtures, it actually worked well with my first impressions of meth; all that was missing was some fruit bowls and coconut water.
A woman ended up back at my place that night (I’m unclear on what her rational for that was, given that I can’t imagine I looked like a real winning catch), to be left completely unsatisfied as I laid in my bed, sweating profusely while my penis refused to produce an erection. She fell asleep and I slinked out to the bedroom feeling 100% strung-out. I always think this phrase refers to the sensation that one is existing in between actual minutes; time becomes infinitely long, and you can’t move between seconds anymore.
Out in the living room, a woman I knew back from home through mutual friends, happened to text me asking how I was doing. We hadn’t talked in a long time, so I responded honestly, “I’m high on meth and can’t get an erection. Feel bad for this girl that came home with me.” She responded by sending me pictures of herself naked and one of some guys cock about to penetrate her ass. It was unexpected as I’d never seen her naked, but the nice thing about meth is it really lets you roll with the punches.
I told her thank you for the photos, and then curled up on the couch, smacked my lips still tasting all those fruit bowls, and desperately wished to fall asleep.
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ktkski2017-blog · 7 years
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On the Wards
February 1, 2017
Today we completed our third day of working at PCEA Chogoria Hospital. Jen and Lena have been rotating on the pediatrics and women’s inpatient ward with Dr. Jason Brotherton who trained in the US as an internal medicine-pediatrics physician. I have been working with our attending Dr. Clark on the mens inpatient ward with the plan that next week I will trade with Jen/Lena so I have time on pediatrics working with Jason. The final two weeks I will likely serve as an attending covering rounds on one of the medical services.
As expected, it has been a sharp learning curve. While I know a lot about medicine, we do not have the same resources or staff training here in Chogoria. I am also not as familiar with tropical diseases and their treatments as would be expected having trained in Traverse City, MI. Prior to rounds we were introduced to the hospital community at Chapel – a 30minute church service including sermon that occurs every Monday. After Chapel we went to morning report and heard about the admissions and discharges over the weekend as well as the number of deaths. This was a time to give updates on hospital medication shortages or other concerns. One major topic was the physician strike (this was week 8or9 of the strike). This has reduced the number of residents and clinical officers (COs) at Chogoria by almost 75%. Currently the COs and residents that are still at Chogoria are paid privately by the hospital which is why they still have a few people. Of note: The COs and residents typically run the hospital. They admit patients, order labs and medications, perform the procedures (other than more advanced surgical procedures), run the outpatient clinics, and take overnight call. Because of the strike there are 2or3 clinical officers taking call that previously was covered by just residents. Right now there are only 3 residents and one is almost due to deliver her second baby and will be on maternity leave.
Day 1 of rounds we were getting to know the approximately 35-40 patients and meeting Musa, a family medicine resident who completed medical school and internship in the Democratic Republic of Congo (equivalent to a second year resident in the US), and Janet, a clinical officer (equivalent to an intern NP or PA). We also have the occasional nurse who completes our rounding team; he/she rotates with us and from what I can tell takes notes on some of the things we plan for the patient that day.
[Warning: Medical discussion – may be boring or TMI]
We saw a 27year old with advanced nephrotic syndrome and no obvious cause for whom we are discussing dialysis. A 22year old with refractory heart failure. A guy with suspected gonorrhea vs disseminated syphilis. Several patients with cancer on palliation therapy; several patients with end-stage HIV/AIDS (called ISS locally, as HIV has a large stigma). This is just to name a few. By the time we got to the end of rounds at the back of the room (in the “isolation” section where they put tuberculosis patients although the separation from the rest of the ward is just a half-wall), we found several sick patients. One HIV patient was confused and had a new suspected TB lesion on the brain as well as white out of his left lung from a loculated pleural effusion. I was able to tap his effusion (pus) and we started him on treatment for TB, PJP (a common infection in immunocompromised patients), as well as community acquired pneumonia. As of today he looks much the same –no better, no worse –his lung tap confirmed Gram positive bacteria, which correlates with the sloughing of the skin on his feet. Another patient had sepsis with an oxygen saturation of 84% with known HIV and recent treatment for TB. We asked that he be moved to a bed that has oxygen available (he was eventually moved there appx 1 hour later – which I have found is record time). Three days later he is looking much improved and no longer requiring oxygen.
We were able to take a lunch break mid-day when all of the patient’s families arrived for visiting hours. I had lunch with Luke back at the apartment and met back up with Jen and Lena on break from their rounds for the day. After lunch is when we typically complete rounding if we haven’t done so yet, and we complete any procedures that need to be done. These are typically done by the clinical officers and/or residents so I have been joining them to learn how they do these procedures with their limited resources. There is certainly modification of the various medical supplies to meet the need (for example attaching IV tubing to a urine bag to serve as a paracentesis receptacle and drain fluid off of the abdomen). I hope to later help with these procedures especially since the hospital is short staffed with the physician strike. Dinner was made by Dr. Clark – peanut curry over basmati rice.
Day 2 of rounds began with me giving a lecture on pediatric dehydration. I tried to make it interactive with the COs and residents but the crowd was mostly crickets. [Sidenote: This is not uncommon I think – I recall during morning report in Malawi, the students are residents would go to great lengths to not say anything even when asked a direct question for fear of appearing underinformed or wrong. In fact when they would speak it would be so quiet that I guarantee no one else knew that they were saying – however the attendings couldn’t tell what they said so they didn’t get reprimanded]. Rounds were unfortunately eventful – we started on our rounds at the front of the room and by the time that we made it near the end we noticed a patient who had previously been well, start seizing. He was “new” having been admitted the previous evening. Casualty (the equivalent to the ER) had not yet ordered any labwork or imaging studies and in fact it took some time to figure out the patient’s name. We needed to give him STAT medications to stop the seizure but they needed to be ordered and brought over from central supply. We moved him to oxygen ASAP as he was agonally breathing (although no longer seizing) and got a point-of-care echo within 10-15minutes that showed ventricular fibrillation. We placed defibrillation paddles, however realized that even if we shocked him we would not be able to reverse the underlying problem as he primarily had respiratory failure from suspected increased intracranial pressure from infection. He was a known HIV positive patient that we later suspected had cryptococcal meningitis which is 50% fatal when there are signs of increased pressure, even with the most efficient hospital resources. PCEA Chogoria Hospital does not have ventilator capabilities so we were unable to support his respiratory failure and possibly allow his infection to be treated by antifungal medications. So we made the group decision to not shock the patient as this would only add pain and harm to a patient who was already dying. While this was a very difficult event to experience, we learned a lot. We debriefed after the event (when involved parties gather to talk about what went well and brainstorm for the future) and while there were a lot of things that went well with the Code, we came up with a few game-plans to improve our rounding in the future and hopefully lead to faster treatment of sick people.
After lunch and after the afternoon procedures, Luke, Clark and I went to the market outside of the hospital. This was our first venture in to the market so we wandered around and purchased a lot of fruit and vegetables (Luke and I mostly got non-perishable food items in Nairobi). Luke and I then made lentil soup with avocado tomato salad for dinner. After dinner Luke and I played cards and watched Blood Diamond before heading to bed – at 9:30pm. The earliest I’ve gone to bed in at least a year.
Day 3 of rounds began with meeting the new patients first. Unfortunately this was interrupted by a patient who had been stable after previously being admitted for chest pain/heart attack. He developed renewed chest pain, left arm pain, sweating, nausea/vomiting, shortness of breath – classical for myocardial infarction. He likely had advancement of his previous heart attack, however in Kenya (and in most African countries from what I hear), cardiac catheterizations are not done. There are no specialists that perform this procedure, nor facilities in which to perform them. Therefore they manage all patients with heart attacks with medications. We offered him oxygen, morphine, aspirin, clopidogrel, imdur (nitro is not available). We grabbed the crash cart and figured out how to place leads – this revealed normal sinus rhythm. Derek brought over the portable ECG machine and we got a 12 lead – no obvious ST elevation but subtle signs of ischemia were present (actually improved from prior ECG). He eventually started to feel better, however he had a new heart sound by the end of the day so we plan for echo tomorrow. Rounds continued with new challenges. New lab results (ordered from several days ago and finally being returned to us) revealed many patients with new renal failure, leading to many changes in medications and management. Other labs and Xrays were not yet completed despite having ordered then several days ago. After lunch we returned for a lumbar puncture on a newly diagnosed HIV patient with suspected TB versus cryptococcal meningitis and chest tube placement on an otherwise healthy 20year old with white out pleural effusion on his right lung field. This guy spoke English, had designer jeans, a large version of iphone 6 and earbuds – not a typical Chogoria patient. The “outpatient theater” had a clean sheet on the table however the previous patient’s blood was still on the ground. We used sterile technique and performed a chest tube placement without sedation, simply using injected local lidocaine. It was very uncomfortable for the patient however he did not move/flail his arm during the entire painful procedure. We were able to get over 1liter of fluid out of his chest with less than 1 minute, we clamped the tube for transport however I suspect he has at least 4liters in that lung. We sent the clear yellow fluid for culture.
Luke had a Skype meeting today which was successful over our pay-for-data internet plan. He has been pretty bored at home while we are off at work, however has been reading, working, and researching safari plans. We plan on working this weekend (12 day stretch of work) so we will need to find him something fun to do! For dinner Lena and Jen made spaghetti with vegetable tomato sauce, avocado tomato salad, and I chopped some pineapple for dessert. Tonight I plan on reading about more tropical disease management in preparation for tomorrow’s rounds.
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Their pain is ours
As most of you know, I recently switched shifts from a day to overnight in a 24 hour hospital as an Emergency Veterinarian. I absolutely LOVE this aspect/side of vet med, and I wouldn’t (and don’t) want to do anything else… ever (like every other vet, I am a type-A overachieving work-a-colic). However, there are moments when I am hit with the reality of what my job REALLY is, and I wanted to take a moment and share with everyone my experience, especially in light of the recent media regarding vet med. I walked into work this evening at 5:45pm ready for my overnight shift, and felt like I was walking into a room of chaos. I took a moment just to evaluate my surroundings and see where I could jump in and help. What I realized was: 1) there was nothing for me to do, and 2) the hospital at that moment was the reality of vet med. *I would like everyone now to really try and picture what I am about to describe. For my vet friends, this won’t seem out of the ordinary… in fact, this is probably every day. For those that are not vets, it will give you insight into what YOUR vet REALLY does… it is not all happy healthy puppies and kittens… actually… it is UNCOMMONLY puppies and kittens…* Sitting in the back on one of the treatment tables was a cardboard coffin with a 5 month old puppy in it, waiting to be picked up by it’s owner. This puppy had passed away during a neuter. Come to find out during surgery, that the puppy had several congenital abnormalities that were hidden from pre-op bloodwork and physical exam (every precaution to make sure anesthesia and surgery is as safe as possible), and only discovered during surgery, causing the puppy not to wake up after anesthesia. Any veterinarian will tell you that a neuter is one of the simplest surgeries that we do. We could do it in our sleep. However, unseen complications happen, and there is nothing that anyone could have done to prevent this from happening. This was an unhealthy puppy that was not going to live a long and happy life, it would have gotten very sick and died at a very young age. However, the veterinarian that performed the surgery was devastated. This was the first time this had ever happened to this veterinarian in 5 years of practice… 5 years and countless surgeries. Put yourself in this vet’s shoes for a moment: You just lost someone’s baby under anesthesia for a surgery that YOU recommended. Colleagues and even your own head tell you - This was not my fault. There was nothing that I, or anyone could have done. This happens to everyone. But your heart only feels pain and guilt and anguish for a life lost and your failure, and an inability to serve the purpose that you were put on this Earth to do: HEAL. Now comes the hard part (I know, like everything else isn’t hard enough!). You now have to get on the phone and call the owner of that puppy and tell them what happened. You get to break the news to mom, dad, and their son (the person the puppy was bought for) that their best friend is gone. You get to tell someone who is excited about playing fetch and running around in the yard, you get to tell them, I am so sorry, but your dog is dead. It puts a knot in your stomach and chest that nothing else can. It makes you sick and hurt to the deepest part of your soul. You hurt for the owners, for the puppy. You hurt because you caused PAIN. In this same moment there is a dog and owner in a room with another doctor. This dog has been unwilling to eat and unable to keep anything down for the past WEEK… and oh yea, the dog ate a cactus a little over a week ago. The poor dog is so sick and painful it won’t let the doctor feel it’s belly. Xrays were taken and revealed three cactus needles stabbing through the dog’s small intestines causing a perforating foreign body. the doctor explained to the owner that the only way to even give the dog a chance to live is emergency surgery and gave an estimate for the $1500 surgery and a 50/50 prognosis. The owner’s response? Anger. Saying things to the veterinarian like: How could she be so cold and insensitive? She only wants money. If she REALLY cared about the dog, she would do the surgery for free. But no, she doesn’t care and is a terrible, cold hearted, unfeeling, horrid person who is MAKING her kill her dog when the dog COULD be saved if she would just stop being such a money grubbing Scrooge. I ask again, put yourself in the vet’s shoes. You have a dog that you know for the past WEEK has sat at home, starving, in pain, with a fever, feeling horrible and puking its guts up as three needles stab through it’s intestines. And what did the owner do? nothing. You know the dog is suffering, but you can potentially help and save it’s life! But what will the owner let you do? nothing. You know that had the owner brought the dog in right after it ate the cactus you could have used the scope and gotten the needles out for about $400. But they waited A WEEK. And according to the owner, this is all your fault. Her dog is going to die because of you. Talk about feeling powerless! You can’t even defend yourself! Your response. “I know this is a difficult situation, and I am so sorry.” But at the end of it all, you are the one that has to inject in the hot pink euthanasia juice knowing you have the skills and abilities to save this dog’s life, and instead, you must end it. The final scenario that was occurring was an older dog that suddenly started limping on one of his legs. The owners thought, oh he must have arthritis, we will take him in and get some meds and he will be fine. The vet had already taken xrays before I got there and saw the bone cancer that was covering this dog’s humerus. Again, put yourself in the doctor’s position. You now have to tell someone that their best friend of 10+ years has cancer. The big C. Their options are either 1) amputate the limb, 2) very short term pain management (days) or 3) euthanize right now. You have to shatter their world and make people cry. You cannot offer any relief aside from euthanasia, which is no relief at all for the family. You get to be the bringer of bad news. All of this occurred at 5:45pm… AFTER an entire day that started at 8am, with even more cases similar to these. This was one 15 minute section of time in a 10 hour long work day. No wonder veterinary medicine suffers from the highest suicide rate and highest addiction rate of any other profession. No wonder all veterinarians at some point suffer from what is called “compassion fatigue”. Unfortunately, the majority of people do not understand this about our profession. I cannot tell you how many times people have said to me, “oh you must LOVE your job! You get to play with puppies and kittens all day! Though, I bet it is hard when you occasionally have to euthanize something.” I just nod, and smile. What they don’t know is that I am thinking - yes, it is very hard. Those THREE patients I euthanized in the past 30 minutes were very hard (which happened on my overnight shift tonight). I appreciate you if you made it this far!! All I am trying to do is help people to realize what the reality of vet med is… and what it is not. We are NOT in it for the money. We recommend tests and vaccines because we had 8 years of schooling that taught us what was best for your pet. We are overworked, emotionally drained, compassion fatigued, under appreciated/respected, and SEVERELY underpaid for what we do (because no amount of money is worth what we go through on a daily basis, *and side note, average salary for a veterinarian is $45,000/year and average student loan debt is over $150,000 :)* ). Yet, we wake up every morning and devote our life to your pets. We love them as if they are our own, we cry over them when they don’t make it, we work long hours and stay late working and reading to learn and try to figure out why your pet is sick. We talk to them like they are people and love them even when they try to bite us. We deliver pain, hurt, bad news, and encounter countless situations that we have no control over throughout our entire day. Our reward is internal… it is knowing that at the end of every day we have done everything that we can to the very best of our abilities for every patient we have touched, even if that means ending their suffering.
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