#I couldn't go to the reputation tour because I was hospitalised after having a grand Mal seizure
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I'm so behind on my assignments. It's like I'm so ready to do them but my anxiety gets the best of me and then I freeze and just listen to random shit and online shop, except I don't buy anything.
#ramble#anxiety#tw anxiety#I've been an online student for like 7+ years and it still gets me#although this is a masters program and I'm just terrified#it just makes me spiral about life and what my future holds#will it go to plan? probably not#I still have to fucking dream and hope because otherwise life is sad as hell#but I'm going to the eras tour so that's a solid win#I'm terrified that I won't be able to go#I couldn't go to the reputation tour because I was hospitalised after having a grand Mal seizure#so I'm terrified that even though I'm doing well on my meds something bad is going to happen#so then that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop just boosts anxiety like crazy#I have epilepsy for context#no one is going to read this and that's a good thing lol#I'm spilling way to much here#putting it all in the tags#I didn't do work today - I just researched makeup and stuff for my eras outfit#because if I focus on that I can hope#one could say...to live for the hope of it all#august supremacy tbh#alright - that's my ramble for the night#I write a lot when I'm on Tumblr on my computer#I'm normally on mobile#I hope everything works out#I'm so scared of something happening and my life gets set back#it's like whenever something good happens shit has to ruin it#like last year was so fucking bad - I lost my grandpa and my dog#my mom and I had to help put my grandparents dog to sleep because he was sick#all of this happened within 2 months or so
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