[Brief] Thoughts on Film Theory's Analysis

I was gonna post this on my priv twt.. but moots convinced me to post it here so here we are.. beware of spoilers, gore, bla bla bla ..

FIRST OFF I'm gonna start by saying, I AM ESL. I may or may not have misinterpreted some of his words, but this is mainly how I thought of his analysis. This is not meant to be ill-guided or rude ! so sorry if it comes off as this way. I will be very repetitive.

Another thing, most if not all of the information matpat gave out i alr discussed with a few mutuals on discord about a few months back so this is not new territory to me 😭😭 I thought most folks would already knew the concept of how the brain deteriorates overtime But honestly, that indisposition shouldn’t even apply to omni man??? matpat tried to compare an immortal Viltrumite's psychology to that of an aging human's, which can be misguided.

Let's start by how he compares Nolan's brain to the average aging human's brain so the audience could understand his psyche more and how empathy declines overtime. First and foremost, Nolan is not a human, second; Nolan wasn't raised with empathy or around an empathetic environment - it was an alien concept to his race. Something frowned upon. He was raised from birth to conquer and destroy without remorse. His brain never developed those neural pathways for empathy in the first place. It's not that they deteriorated over time, they were never even formed.

By the time he came to Earth, all this familial stuff was new to him. Sure, he knew he was gonna outlive them, but He didn't think he'd get attached. HE didn't process that he'd grieve over them when the time came.

Interacting with humanity for the first time ignited unfamiliar emotions in Nolan that he didn’t know how to process.

His time living amongst humans caused conflicting feelings he’d never experienced in his centuries of systematic slaughter. Loving Debbie and Mark went against everything he was taught, but he couldn't help it. For once, the lives he was manipulating to further Viltrum’s goals meant something to him. He developed a [what he presumed, NOT what he felt about them in reality, his love for them is far more profound than he assumed it to be which we later on see in the last ep of s1 and the second season] petty facsimile of love for his ersatz family.

So no, his capacity for empathy didn't decline with age as MatPat claims. His empathy was stunted from the start. An underdeveloped skill, not a deteriorated one. We had characters like Debbie to help him understand those notions, help him grow it. With Mark in the mix? it only amplified that development.

Viltrumites are societally and culturally predisposed to violence and domination. Nolan was never accustomed to forming emotional connections or grieving loss. Those were entirely new experiences for him after arriving on Earth. He was not jaded. he was grown into jamais vu in viltrum.

This is why the whole conflict in s1 happened, he was treading between double lives he wasn't sure of. He was conflicted because his past values were refuting with his new experiences. He found love on Earth, he found himself unable to accept how he'd lose Debbie. Of How jaded Mark might become. Everything he said to Mark till that point was his own self-projections, his own fears, doubts.

While the video did provide some interesting facts about neuroscience and aging, the application of those facts to Nolan's character was inaccurate. IT is educational for those who don't know, but it isn't recent news that the brain begins to deteriorate overtime so this video wasn't that informative which kinda disappointed me. Their analysis lacked alot of information about the Viltrumite race and Nolan's character. Comparing him to humans with normal life experiences just doesn't work. His immortal nature combined with a lack of empathy from birth created a psychology unlike anything seen on Earth.

SORRY FOR RANTING ALOT AND OR IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M GIVING MATPAT SHIT ... i really liked their analysis on immortal so i'll give them that. Immortal, unlike Nolan, was born human. He has lived among humanity for over 3000 years, inhabiting different identities of public and devoted historians. Because of this, his psyche developed quite differently. Immortal knows how to form connections, experience loss, and adapt to social changes. His perpetual existence didn't harden his heart like Viltrum's brutal culture did to Nolan. Instead, Immortal's immortality allowed his empathy and compassion to blossom.

Humans are social creatures. Our brains have evolved to seek out interpersonal relationships, crave affection, and find meaning in community. For an immortal like Immortal, social interaction is vital to staving off boredom, depression and detachment from humanity.

By inhabiting mortal lives, he stays tethered to the human experience. He continues learning, growing, and developing empathy.

This is why he's devastated when the guardians die.

This is also why he goes fucking mental and tries to kill Omni-man.

If Immortal had lived in isolation all this time, unable to connect with people, his psyche would likely resemble Nolan's more closely. Without social interaction, Immortal's brain would atrophy in ways that preclude complex emotions and moral reasoning. His sense of purpose would fade, achievements would lose meaning, and life itself might feel pointless. By engaging with humanity, Immortal gives his endless existence purpose and direction. He finds value in each temporary life, so loss still impacts him deeply. Socializing keeps his emotions and cognition flexible, which prevents the apathy and hardness of heart seen in Nolan. Nolan never had these opportunities in his early years, this is why it's more difficult for him to stray away from his indoctrination. It's that he's unused to it, underdeveloped.

60 years to Nolan would've been a year and a half, so what's 20 measly years on Earth for him? Yes, he found profound connections in that little speck of time, but Immortal's emotional capacity is far more extensive.

In summary, Comparing Nolan to a human, whether mortal or immortal, is kinda inaccurate. His Viltrumite psyche rules out him from possessing JADED human qualities. You could say he's desensitized to violence sure, but no.. unfortunately.. he does not have [boomer] brain. He has [indoctrinated alien-fascist brain]

Leave your own thoughts down below or through reblogs, I'm really interested on what others may think of this! (URGHHHNN... my hcs r slipping away from my fingers cuz now people r gonna accept what matpat says as truth.. someone gun me down from the hills..)

Okay so im gonna just throw randomly my thoughts on sm6 while rewatching it cuz why not, I was doing the same thing for hazbin hotel so why not spooky month too?

So yeah, SPOOKY MONTH 6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Ok im just gonna say: that starting scene with thieves was kinda funny. Also rewatching it, im starting to suspect that this giant spider thing in Lilas attic have her husbands soul, IDK WHY, I JUST FEEL LIKE IT, it just looks so important, it even appeared twice in the ep: in the begining n in the end.

Also ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE HOW JAUNE CALLED LILA "HOT-STUFF"??? WHILE HAVING A HUSBAND?????? A HUSBAND THAT SITTING NEARBY HER WHEN SHE SAYING THAT???????? ARE THEY IN A POLY RELATIONSHIPS HOLY FUCKING SHIT????????????? IM EVEN MORE INTRIGED NOW

Okay so Skid does know and remember his dad, I just was thinking that his father left/died when Skid still wasnt born or when he was very little so Skid doesnt even know that he had a father, but no he does remember his dad, so that means he presented for quite long time in Skids life.

Also im really suprised how big Pumps house is, well i mean— he said that his parents work alot so ig i shouldnt be suprised-

Poor Ignacio just wants some peace– *watched the ep a lil longer* Oh hes kinda fucked up actually---

Also for some reason i find kinda interesting that Ross n Rob were kinda comforting Roy every time they were on the screen like "We're here for you, Roy" etc etc, so im thinking maybe something bad happened to Roy? I mean he looked kinda frustrated n angry, so maybe somethng between him n his parents?

Okay but can we talk about how Moloch look so much more scarier than before?

Okay so--- get ready for my rambleling bout my boy Dexter-- HE LIVED WITH HIS MOM N ALOT OF CATS😭😭😭 N HIS MOMS PURE GRIEF BOUT HER LOSS WAS GENIUNALY SO SAD TO WITNESS 😭😭😭😭

Okay so looking at Skids impression when Father Gregor asked him bout his father-- yeah i think his dad actually died---- but i can be wrong ofc

Okay- im sorry but-- why does Kevin n Radfords interactions make them look like a couple--- I AM SORRY BUT----

Also the way Father Gregor gave Kevin holy water was really funny to me, it was like: "You know these children?? Yeaahhhh i feel bad for u, kid. Here have some holy water, just in case...." ALSO the fact that ppl started coming in the store ONLY after Radford sprinkled holy water in it-- DOES THAT MEAN THAT THERE WERE DEMONS IN IT THAT WERE KEEPING PPL AWAY???

Dont mind me guys, im just a little crying :')

Okay but the way how Skid n Pump were SO exited to see Moloch again was really funny n cute at the same time

Okay... This is the part when i literally teared up. I know it was just Moloch trying to fool Father Gregor to give him kids but idk.... It still made me tear up for some reason, and i even know the reason: i just miss Dexter so much n i didnt expect him to appear so much times in this ep, I just think hes a precious boy who deserved better. I KNOW THAT HE WAS KILLING ANIMALS N I DONT APPROVE THAT AT ALL, but hes still a sweetie idfc.

Also why would Patty need a gun so immediatly?..

Also that part when Moloch were wandering around the town n Father n spooky bois were trying to catch him was so funny and entertaining

Poor Pelo got ooffed again. Press F.

AND OMG THIS PART WHEN MOLOCH POSSESED SKID N PUMPS BODIES AND THE FATHER EXORCISMS THEM WAS SOOOO COOL, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY, I THINK I JUST HAVE A THING FOR DEMONS N EXORCISM.

And this is the part where i actually cried alot. Poor Skid doesnt know that its not his fault at all.. Also even if Father Gregors words were kinda mean, that Lila is irresponsible mother, I cant disagree with them. Yes, she is an alone mother, but it doesnt give her permission to just leave her child to himself n his friend n go drink n then spent time w her child drunk. Yeah i know, that she leaves him to mr Wonder n Susie, but lets be honest, were here even a single time when the kids didnt just leave the house n cause problem? No. So i think the Fathers words are make perfect sense, n Lila should think bout it. Also a lil thing i just thought bout, why would Lila throw away her husbands stuff? If he actually died why would she do this? Or hes not dead n he just left for some reason? Idk

Also OMFG THAT OOGA BOOGA JUMPSCARE GOT ME SO FUCKING GOOD, I WASNT READY FOR AT ALL

and so ummm i think thats it. It took me 1 hour to write this lol.

A bit more of a revised opinion on David lol

I did my intial thoughts post a while back but kinda realized that my initial impression was so different than how i see david now.

i pretty sure this has already been said, but yeah David's reveal is not really a reveal of true character but rather feels more like a breakdown in who he is

Now yeah, he definetely has got a flair for the dramatics but honestly, i think it makes sense why david would want to play up his cynical viewpoint to a cartoonish level like we see. But for all of his life, he's been playing a role that it seems he does not believe he actually deserves (as his hidden quote may allude to deep self hatred), so for once, david is truly acting out how he believes he really is

essentially, the reveal was not him being a liar, it was a reveal of how he believes himself to be a liar.

Not to mention ... and maybe this is that same denial i was saying before ep 11 that maybe david has the hopeless child secret but ... his motivation just doesn't add up to me.

His "mask" initially slipped in the prologue where he spoke about wanting to be in bed and not deal with people or wanting to come to hope's peak. Idk about u but that just feels like just being an introvert. Maybe a bit of a bitchy introvert lol but nothing that is a manipulative liar who wants to watch everyone kill each other for ... uhh ... shits and giggles???? I truly feel he is acting the part that his secret is.

So what exactly is his secret referring to as manipulative?? I think i agree with hu when i said its phrasing (For example, arturo does not seem as heartless as his secret ambiguously makes it seem, clearly very affected rather than how the secret implies callousness). I think the secret is really just referring to what his talent is. It is what we all guessed initially: He manipulates people, aka "inspires" them. He may just have the ability to manipulate using his words, but he has so far put that to good use.

But i think david never sees it that way. I recall seeing a few posts commenting how david must feel guilt/grief over the death of xander and arei, since he had gotten close to the both of them before their death. And i think that guilt is being amplified with arei's death:

A lot of people point to David's slip in ep 10 as either a sign of him being a good person or a bad person, as his way of talking can be interpreted as either.

(To recap, those who claim this proves this shows his truly good nature point out that he is truly upset abt the death of arei and he is showing his true distaste for the killer, something he wouldn't have said if he had wanted arei to die and didnt care for her like he said in ep 11. However others can mention how david speaks abt how she was in such a vulnerable state to be killed and his creepy smiling sprite sure doesnt help)

Personally i am leaning on the redeeming side, as i think david feels that arei's death proves why he's such a manipulator. We now know of the conversation (or really only a part of it judging by how arei is never answered) was likely when David first learned of his secret about him being a manipulator. David is completely silent, shuddering and unresponsive. I think that he may have at first viewed Arei as his usual routine of lifting someone up, but when we see arei actually hug him, he is caught off guard. And once he hears arei herself saying she really wanted to change for the better, david may have felt he did one good thing. Only then, arei reveals her knowledge of his secret and David is at a loss. Now, the one person who could have been helped by him now realizes his words are as hollow as he believes. So when arei begs david to respond, he cant seem to muster any words.

So when we see how he talks in ch 10, it is his own guilt and anger at himself combined with his grief to arei's death all muddied together. He had been able to help someone, but its because arei had put herself out there - a positive change he triggered - and got herself killed, david blames himself. After all, he can use people however he wants. So if they become worse off, he believes he is the reason behind it.

personally i want a more redeemable version of david since i just dont believe his supposed motivations. they just dont add up!!! moreover, with it being obvious he is not the killer, david has to now live with a supposed chapter 3 with everyone well aware of his "real" personality, so i wonder how david would feel about now actually being treated like a villain rather than a good person like he has for most his life. It might force him to realize that he might actually not be as bad as he thought he was, so maybe he'll slowly try to work up good faith with the group??? I think David has been trapped between two extremes: His morally good outward persona, and his self hatred making him believe he is irredeamable. So maybe david's development is him learning to gain a more nuanced look at himself :)

Or maybe he'll just die in chapter 3 lol and have an unresolved arc :'))

Hi! Big fan of your blog, your takes are always so refreshing and lovely to read!

So I'm about 86 percent certain that having expectation about this is just setting myself up for disappointment because I don't really think anything canonically confirming buddie will happen before the last couple episodes of this season (if it happens this season at all) but what do you think about 6x13 being called New Sensation👀

Awww, hi lovely Nonnie! Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words! I hope you know you're awesome, too! :D

I'm glad to meet another person who's in the camp of trying to temper our expectations! *hugs* I hope that like me, you're still having tons of fun watching the show! As for the titles of eps... Yeah, I usually try to avoid reading too much into them. For one thing, they try to include a theme that would be relevant to all the emergency calls during the ep, as well as to our characters, and that means that sometimes the fit is kinda partial. Sometimes it's totally meaningless. I remember how, when we learned that 510 was called Wrapped in Red, a ton of people (for obvious reasons) dug out the lyrics to the love song that the ep title is referencing. So of course they were very hopeful that this was the ep that would bring us one of the guys realizing he's in love and daring to declare it, since that's what the song's about. Turns out, it was more to do with the general theme of gift giving, joy all around and the big party the team ended up throwing for the people who lost their home. And how was the song connected to Chris throwing a tantrum 'coz he was scared, and Eddie deciding to leave the 118? Well, it just wasn't. So yeah, I'm bringing all of this up as a way of saying, we should always limit our theorizing based on ep titles, they're not that reliable.

That being said, I am kind of carefully looking at 'Recovery' because that one is pretty straight forward and, since the theme of an ep has to connect to the 118 as well, it strongly suggests that one of our protagonists will be in recovery, so it seems to imply one of them would have been hurt in one of the prior eps. I wrote here about the possibility that it's Buck who's injured. In addition, I later thought about it possibly being Bobby, dealing with his own recovery from his addiction and how hard it is to maintain that, given his loss in 609 and the dark path it will take him down. IDK if either one will turn out to be true, but this is an example for where I am more ready to believe that the ep title is giving us an indication of what will actually happen in the ep itself.

However, 'New Sensation' (ep 613) is... it just feels too broad and ambiguous to try and extrapolate anything from it. I know where my head's going to immediately as a hopeful Buddie shipper! Buck or Eddie recognizing that they're feeling something for the other man. In terms of when I tend to assume we'd have such a revelation, I always kinda thought 911 would wanna really cash in on this if it went there, so it would use it during a season finale. Which NS is not going to be. So I'm doubtful that's the direction the ep will take. If we are going to get a Buck who gets injured and goes through recovery, new sensation might be about a new direction he takes on following that. Not necessarily in a romantic sense? It could be about him and his journey with his self worth. It could be a continuation of Bobby's storyline. And it could be something we're not seeing coming at all, because it will play off of events that will only start unfolding in 6b. I also have to say that if Buck does get injured in the ep titled 'In a Flash' and then going through a vision of an alternate reality in the ep 'In Another Life' followed by the story of him healing in 'Recovery,' then I just can't see every ep title in 6b being about primarily about him, and I would think that makes it more likely that the new sensation in the title has nothing to do with him.

It might have to do with Eddie, who we know from Kristen's interview will try dating again in 6b. That would fit with NS breaking away from whoever 'Recovery' is about. My other Buddie shipper thought is, what if Eddie's discovering his attraction to men and that's the new sensation in the title? It could be, especially since just having a repeat of the arc where he dated Ana would be too boring, so this one would have to offer something new, some different revelation and/or experience. I don't think that this is an unlikely option, but I'm also afraid it might be my wishful thinking. Because as you can see, there are so many possibilities! And also, I have to admit that if Eddie does discover he's into men, I would expect that to be unveiled quite close to him realizing his feelings for Buck. And like I said, I would assume that to happen in a season finale, so for s6, that would be 618.

Sorry, I know this is long, but I wanted to do the most for you, so I threw out there all the thoughts that I had when I heard the title and that I then put aside. I hope this is at least somewhat helpful? Have a great day! And here's as always my ask tag. xoxox

louis, clementine, jane and kenny for the character opinion bingo 🙏

RAAAAHHHH LETS FUCKINGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

louis

im doing these in ms paint dont make fun of me BUT LOUISSSim in love with him top 10 f/o of the over. oh my god. LOUIS GETS a *little* done dirty by the fans but in general hes really beloved and i am grateful for that. i love him. he is so the EVER im so excited to start s4 literally just for him i am obsessed with this guy hes the silliest billiest of the ever my life

clementine

CLEMMMM one of my fav characters honestly... also i checked off adoption papers but best friend bestie papers also work. SEE i was playing s3 w max and he was like "im a clementine apologist" and im NOT her moral greyness in s4 IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVEERRRRR mcarrol ranch. RAHHHHH OH MY GODDDDD all my thoughts about her are, to be completely fair, recycled thoughts from much more competent anaylitcsists (thats not a word but i dont care) BUT still i could regurgitate those recycled points for HOURSSS i love her sm. ALSO she doesnt REALLY work better as part of a dynamic im moreso referencing her parallels with aj and lee GGRAAAAAAHHHH LEE AJ PARALELL im very easily pleased.

jane

hmmm janeee... this is where my popular opinion differsss. ok so my thoughts on kenny (this isnt about kenny but kennys impportant when talking abt my feelings on jane) rlly shifted when i watched the video "we dont talk about kenny" or some shit BASICALLY making the claim kennys role in s2 is that of an abusive stepfather. i didnt agree w all their points but its what shifted my view on kenny. (altho my view on kennys shifted AGAIN after playing s2 but youll see that in a sec) when it came to jane tho a lot of the comments were complaining that jane was "just as bad", and the vid doesnt mention her enough. so thats the belief i adopted

UNTILLL i played s2 and thought. no. no shes not nearly as bad as kenny imo. jane has commitment issues forged by trauma which is why shes hesitant to connect w the group and leaves on impulse. she knows what its like to get hurt. but the fandom constantly mischaracterizes this as jane not caring about anyone but herself (probably cuz kenny said it... just sayingg....) and that pisses me off. you cannot claim jane, who killed someone who wasnt directly attacking her the first time for clementine, who pulled clementine out of the ice and was the most concerned with saving her life, who came back after being 2009 emo furry levels of a loner just for clementine didnt care about clementine. she totally did!! she was real with clementine, warning her about love and loss to protect her.

shes totally not justified at all in ep 5 tho. and shes not justified in everything she does! ever! shes morally grey and i like her but i think it just comes back to the ass writing of s2. they wanted a conflict between luke and kenny (new vs old family) but then were like "shit how can we kill one of them!" and decided to bring hotheaded, flaky jane in to KILL A BABY so she would be on the same moral playing field as kenny. which she ISNT thats DEFINITELY A LOT WORSE!! so of COURSE a lot of people hate jane. but idk i think shes mischaracterized a lot which leads to hate for the wrong reasons. it almost feels kinda?? misogynistic at times?? people who are adamant kenny, who has violent rage fits due to his trauma, is justified in doing so but jane being emotionally distant, or dare i say, "a bitch" bc of her trauma is out of line... i see yall...

kenny

ayyy bingo!!! oh i got bingo on jane too i just didnt notice oops. OK so kennys section is gonna be as long as janes so before i ramble about that i wanna clarify the dynamic part: kennys whole thing is loyalty and i think his best moments are when hes with other people. theres not one specific kenny + another character dynamic i like, i just think kenny is best when hes w people.

kenny... clenches fist. i mentioned in my jane rant how the "why we dont talk about kenny" video changed my perspective of him. and yeah! it did! i dont like kenny in s2 specifically. i think they fucked up his character for the sake of pointless angst and where we couldve gotten an arc about cycles of trauma or healing or literally just kenny-based-fanservice instead we got a pissing competition between him and jane of who could take out their trauma on the other more violently. kenny particularly gets me bc personally, im a big doormat! i walk on eggshells for people. s2 kenny is the type you need to walk on eggshells for. and thats not healthy. i think kennys statement about jane in the truck is wrong, and i think hers is wrong too, but... i mean shes a LITTLE right. the people around kenny ARE scared of him. he (I THINK) recognizes his actions to clementine but seemingly doesnt take an effort to really change them... he just mopes around and then beats up teenagers. its exhausting.

but i dont think its right to call kenny an abusive stepdad. hes not as bad as i expected, to be frank. hes just really poorly written. he is in heavy grief over his familys death, and theres something that can be done with that, but it isnt. he stagnates until it escalates to a final confrontation- which would work in theory if the confrontation wasnt over the death of an infant, like regular kenny would still totally kill her ITS BABY MURDER IT DOESNT WORKKK- and ends. at least closed-off jane opens up occasionally, she isnt totally stuck at the same point like kenny is. kenny recognizes his problems, but when hes with people he acts the same. itd be like if jane kept telling clementine "i think i will open my heart and be less afraid to accept people into my life" and then left the group again. i could probably say more but ive been typing this for like an hour at least im gonna end it here. kenny my beloved but also i hate you

(altho one thing i do love abt kenny is how no matter what ending u choose he assures u it was the right choice... i think thats sweet. just bc im a big kenny critic doesnt mean i dont still have a big attachment to him)

anyways w/ all this out of the way please note these are all my opinions if anything is inaccurate dont come at me... im simply sharing my perceptions of my favorite little game

hii I made the post about the pole you made :D honestly I make a lot of random posts like that at 3am and your literally like one of the only people to actually respond to them and I am just so happy like crying rn- So yeah more rambling:

I feel like the dehumanization of cc can also be applied to ep 1 in a sense? Because kinda think about Charlie? What was he known for in genloss? Not really about Charlie the streamer, but his character. Also sneeg, he made friends with a skeleton and humanizes it. Does any viewer’s questions it? Nope, just another form of comedy. Irl that is really concerning if you were to do that. Yknow known more for their characters instead of being amazing storytellers, actors, writers, etc.

Also on the topic of the meanings the community adopted, I just realized how many secret meanings could have just buried 6ft under? In the genloss talking about stream if Ranboo didnt point out the meaning of the mask(if he takes it off the show ends) like would anyone question it if they didn’t point it out? I sure as heck didn’t to me it was just a cool way to show mind control and hide their face.

 I kinda feel like the audience in general has a lot more meaning because like the whole thing is being controlled by showfall media/ being controlled by social media. We are kinda assumed the main intended meaning is dehumanization of cc and I kinda think like what else? Because you know how the internet can be what if there is a theory that did make sense but just got to much hate to reach the surface? Genloss is created by Ranboo and the producers etc but also the audience and how they adopt the cc/characters to their liking.

TIMELOOPS WOOOO. I might be having a stroke but so many spoilers at the start of the cabin, Ranboo complaining his head hurt, him laying down in the same position as he died, etc. tbh this could just be funny foreshadowing, but you never rlly know

Okay I just saw this post and like I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS I JUST 

In ep 3 when we picked the red combination code in the computer, but Ranboo didn’t put in the one we picked because they thought we were wanting to kill him. At the very end we did kill him they died thinking we wanted to kill him for entertainment, but we killed him because we wanted to save him. kinda hit or miss, but relates to chat. Chat says stupid shit because it’s funny yknow. Idk how much Ranboo streams you watch, but like in killer frequency chat keeps telling them that they missed something when they didn’t, chat tells them they picked the wrong option when it was right. It’s kind of weird because it’s to a point when chat suggests something you don’t know if they’re trying to mess with Ranboo or actually trying to help. It creates this  relationship of slightly broken trust where Ranboo doesn’t know if chat is playing with them or actually trying to help.

on my last theory I made last time because I don’t like how I worded it:

How if the internet doesn’t like your interests and personality you are forced to changed to actually be successful. Kinda how at the end of ep 2 they are literal cartoon characters. When you try to seek help and turn back to yourself it always ends the same: death of your channel and content.

( I would like to talk about capitalism allegories, but I am just so uneducated in that field that I might as well just say bananas are purple)

Also I got a lot of info about generation loss I got  from this really cool and underrated video “The Dehumanization of Content Creators | Generation Loss” by Lex Cat also I would watch the jack manifold reaction but I just can’t justify the time it would take

-☁︎🪷

P.S- heads up at some point im doing specific analysis for each individual cc/character yes I now come to ramble here permanently deal with it<3

I am honored <3

And yeah ep 1 definitely has some cc dehumanizing in there looking back on it, just much more subtler than eps 2 and 3 obvs. With Sneeg especially. Right as he’s introduced, we learn that Sneeg tried to complete Slime’s trials, failed, and was stuck in a cage, while not being particularly angry about it. Like it’s understandable that he’s trapped, that it was his fault and he gets that ig? And then for the rest of the series, he acts a Ranboo’s funny sidekick, doing everything he can to get Ranboo, not himself, to the end. The only time Sneeg’s character shows any agency for himself is ep 2 when he’s wearing the hat and, after reassuring Ranboo that he’ll come back for him, tries to escape the mall. But he gets caught, brainwashed, and returns back to his cynical yet helpful self again. So within the context of the audience perception of ccs, Sneeg’s character only serving as a benefit to Ranboo and without him (locked up in a cage) Sneeg is nothing, makes it all so… icky.

I think that’s why I don’t enjoy the dehumanizing cc theory all that much. It never fails to make me viscerally uncomfortable whenever I think about it for too long. Which like, wow genloss doesn’t have a happy ending and is supposed to make you uncomfortable? no shit sherlock. Yeah yeah I know but that interpretation is just too real for me. With the no choice or timeloop theories, we are able to absolve ourselves from blame since this is what Showfall wanted to happen. Still not reassuring but I’m used to not having control over what happens, be it social, politically, economically, etc. But through viewing the characters as their cc counterparts, their pain becomes so personal, that we have no one to blame but ourselves for the suffering they endure. And while I know I personally wasn’t at fault for this, (I was a lurker on twitch twitter and tumblr at Ranboo’s “peak,” I couldn’t share my opinion even if I wanted to) I still feel a sense of responsibility knowing that I can’t do anything about it now. I can’t stop random people for harassing Niki, but I’m still shameful that it happened in the first place. It’s like secondhand embarrassment cranked up to 1000%.

I want to watch Lex’s video essay so badly but I have to wait until I’m in a right enough headspace because I know it will leave me feeling desolate after. I haven’t seen the killer frequency steam yet but I believe you 100% that that’s how chat behaved. I know this because I was there for the late night mining streams, having to sit through chat screaming DIAMONDS at Ranboo just for shits and giggles. Like no wonder he doesn’t trust chat. Which for me makes it all worse since it’s seemingly shows that his audience has learned nothing. If they view Generation Loss as Ranboo’s cry for help, pleading with his audience to see him as a human being and not just a commodity, then why are choosing to treat him exactly the same as before? Maybe that’s why voting to kill Ranboo was so easy for me. I never viewed myself as their judge and jury, just his executioner simply following orders. Maybe I was wrong…

…Anyways, tangent aside, I also tend to take into consideration the gen 1 teasers into my theories. Like the browser game and the video experiment thing, which all had predetermined endings and no references to content creation, further my interpretation. Plus, I just enjoy finding little things and making meaning out of them, my most popular example being Austin being dubbed “The Gay” by Showfall when during emotional scenes, Austin played the role as “the straight man” in improv. Like during the carousel voting, we were able to vote for more than two people and I took that not as a technical bug but as foreshadowing that who we choose didn’t really matter to Showfall, which was “confirmed” when they all ended up dead. And how we were able to vote multiple times during the final choice, making me think we had no real choice to begin with. The latter two were being able to experience live, I don’t blame others for not catching them.

Btw for Jack Manifolds interpretation about genloss, this post encapsulates it very nicely. It also happens to be the fourth option on my poll ;)

It’s cursed speculation time: worst case scenario

I’m drunk Chuck and this post is my design for the ending. Or, I am Gabe from “Mystery Spot” and i am here to teach you a lesson.

Disclaimer: I believe with my whole heart that nothing from this post is anywhere near what we are getting. It’s me being sarcastic. It’s a joke. I think I’m being hilarious, please don’t take it away from me. None of this should be taken seriously. On the opposite, the solemn goal of this post is to show that you should put all the negativity aside and stop worrying. We are up for a happy end!

You can check my opinion here and here.

About ep 19 here.

Light, camera aaaand action!

Cas is not coming back. He just isn’t. The best season arc ever written in Supernatural? Oh no, you are just seeing things again.

Has been to empty before, bounced back twice? Naaaah, this time it’s different. This time it’s for good. No further explanation, just take my word for it.

Regarding Dean. He is not feeling this way about Cas, he can’t reciprocate and he won’t, this was a strictly brotherly relationship for him all way long. The looks? The jokes? The prayer? The parallels with Cain and his wife, with Sam and Eileen, Charlie and Stevie? The despair every time he loses Cas? He’s just a flirty little drama queen, sweetie, and you are delusional.

Sure, he is brokenhearted by the loss of a friend, but never mentions to either Sam or Jack what has really happened in the bunker. Why? Castiel is gone, that’s enough. No reflection on the matter whatsoever, they won’t ever speak of him again.

Character development who? Dean is still an angry man with his rock music, his car and his daddy issues, with “DON’T DESERVE - DON’T CARE” tattooed on his knuckles.

Cas’ confession goes in vain, as well as his sacrifice. Dean doesn’t get the message.

Dean keeps the jacket on as a reminder how hard he fucked up with the whole kill Bill(y) idea. It’s the coal fueling his anger, you know, the only thing Dean Winchester knows.

There’s also guilt, caused by the idea that, at the end of the day, Dean is the reason Cas is dead. Silly angel puts another brick in the wall of his self-hatred. The wall so high he soon won’t need Falcon 9 to reach Mars.

Forgiveness? Redemption? Learning, discovering new things about himslef for at least the last five years? Uh-huh, thanks, but no thanks.

Jack who? Something definitely went wrong with Billy’s plan of taking Chuck out, but we just pretend it never happened. We need Jack to sacrifice himself somehow, for the only acceptable ending, so he simply goes supernova. Again. But this time doesn’t miss.

What about Ruby? What about “you made it loud”? What about Lucifer attempting to get out? “Last time it took all the archangels to cage me” anyone?

Just sweep it all under the rug and forget it ever happened, for god’s sake, it’s not like every second of the show has to actually mean something.

The issue of Jack dying is also never addressed ever again, it just was meant to end this way. No biggie. His troubled relationship with Dean? Their touching conversations with Cas and Sam? The character’s arc screaming “I’m perceived evil, but I don’t want to be” not finished? Come again?

The show is about family. The Winchester family. And following the logic of never ending brothers’ deathly ping pong, it all ends with one of them dying during the fight. To save the second one, of course.

Which one? Dean always throws scissor, so it’s kinda predestined.

How? Heroically, given his unhelthy and unhelpful tendency to put everyone but himslef first. He didn’t even have to die, we see it clearly later, it’s done just for the sake of the Winchesters early seasons dynamics. Dibs on dying first!

Bobby? Eileen? Charlie? Another twenty humans? Sorry, kinda forgot to write them back into the script after they’ve vanished.

Let’s say they are not dead, just away. That’s a happy thought, right?

Everyone we cared about for years is either dead or gone, monsters are still lurking under the kids’ beds, but at least God is dead. That’s a win!

Fifteen years, a few apocalypses, a handful of deathes - yet no reflection, no regret, no lessons learned. The message from the creators: no matter what’s the journey, you still end up where you begun.

The last Winchester takes Impala, salts and burns the dead, and finally drives back to Stanford, following the dream of finally doing law after the exhausting years of killing, being killed and all the side effects.

And to celebrate the beginning of his normal life, Sam hits a dog, for crying out loud.

Happy end!

BL’s Top 10 Most Deserving Unresolved

Pairs who didn’t get to complete their character’s arcs so I would like to see them just play the same roles in order to end the darn series properly. Or maybe an expanded version of the original? Or a spin off. Just... more of the same. 

In other words, i just love these characters.

Gu Hai & Bai Luo Yin - Addicted Heroin (China) I think it would be hard to call yourself a BL fan and not be sad about what happened to this show. Do we want it resolved? Of course we do. Will it happen? NEVER. But the wanting springs eternal. (Speaking of spring, should we talk about what was done to At a Distance, Spring is Green? no, probably not.) 

AePete - Love By Chance & A Chance At Love (Thailand) We just want to see them get back together. We all know it will never happen. We also know if it did MAME would royally fuck it up. But we still want it, okay? 

Jae Sung & Min Gyu - A First Love Story (Korea) Don’t sleep on Strongberry, they’re doing the gay god’s work. And while these two microfilms HOLD as a BL, I still want them as a full on 16 ep series. I am DIEING for Korea to do a full length BL that tackles military service. I know it’s a touchy subject, but can you imagine? Would Jae Sung be out about their relationship while he’s serving? (Probably not, but that’s so against his personality, but then what happens when his unit finds out?) How about Min Gyu in university? Would he pretend he had a LDR with a “girlfriend?” Look, the complexities of the closet under these circumstance write themselves and it would be so good. These two could carry something like it, and Korea would love depicting the tortured pining of a BL where the couple spends most of the drama apart. That’s right up their ally. I think it would be wonderful. 

Mark & OuWen - Love is Science? (Taiwan)  This is kinda a cheat since actually this BL B-plot resolved perfectly, but still I don’t know a single person who watched this series that doesn’t want the spin off that is Mark, OuWen, and Joanna going through pregnancy and raising a baby together. That’s it. That’s what we want. You can add a lesbian sub plot if you like. But mostly we just want three queers and a baby. 

Yuan Zong & Xia Yao - Advance Bravely (China)  Tell me a better pairing than deadly ex-special forces soldier bodyguard and the flirty spoiled rich kid of his dreams. No, seriously, I’ll wait. Sadly I’ll be waiting forever. But ho boy did we want to see these two get together. Sadly, they kinda did, they just weren't allowed to. I mean come on, they cuddled naked in bed playing video games. That v gay, China. Why can’t we just see the real footage from that scene? And what’s WITH that ending? *grumbles* 

Lee Jun Jae & Takuya - The Lover (Korea)  They were so cute and had so much chemistry but Korea wouldn’t even let them dead fish kiss (things have changed since 2015, although not THAT much). How about just showing us what happened when Jun Jae traveled to Japan. Can they not just DATE? Fine just send Lee Jae Joon to Japan and let them film the second half. 

Tang Yi & Shao Fei - HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan)  What HAPPENED NEXT? How long did Tang Yi go to prison for? What happened when he got out? Just a little spin off would be fine. Or a wedding episode. Jake & Chris would do it in a heartbeat. Come on HIStory franchise, you can give us a true HEA. Just this once? Pretty please? 

Kohei & Taiichi - Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan)  OMG do Kohei and Taiichi actually end up a couple or not? (Of course if you’ve read the manga you know the answer, but still.) Just SHOW IT TO US. 

Bbomb & Jin (also Keam & Ball) - Nitiman (Thailand) The victim of lockdown among other things, this Thai BL university pulp just felt cut off. We want the 2 more episodes we never got, and we are all sad about their loss, because it’s painfully obvious. 

Lan Wang Ji & Wei Wu Xian - The Untamed (China)  Get them back together in wedded bliss. Nuff said. 

How fitting that this list starts and ends with Chinese shows. 

More like this?

Top 10 BLs without an HEA still worth watching & the 3 that will wreck you

TOP 10 BL PAIRS + What They Should Play Next 

(source) 

the way we heal | jj maybank

- pairings: jj maybank x reader

- summary: people deal with trauma in different ways but it seems that jj thinks you don't care about the loss of your friends and deep down himself but he just needs to understand that people heal in their own time and through their own meanings, he just needed to be reassured of it. kinda pre season 2 ep 1 give ot take

- warning(s): really motherfucking angsty and swearing. mention of substance abuse

- wc: 2.2k :))))

a/n: all my fics the pogues and reader are the age 17/18 only because that's more comfortable for me to write. its been a long long time since i have wrote something so sorry for and spelling errors

People tend to deal with trauma differently. It could be resulting to crying you eyes out until you can’t breath and you can’t see through your tears clouding your eyes. Drinking until your liver wants to shut down and you whole body is so numb that yourself and everyone around you is so tuned out that you can’t function. Resulting to drugs to either feel something or not to feel anything at all. Or to have something to blame your actions on from yourself acting out simply because you don’t know how to handle the situation of a friend dying.

See you on the other hand dealt with it internally or the whim and feeling of not accepting death. Maybe it was your subconscious talking wanting you not to accept or maybe it was the gut feeling that you always got telling you that they were actually alive and have survived that storm that ‘supposedly’ had swept them away because “no body was found”.

This ‘gut feeling’ had always been right in many life or death situations. Or even just you picking out an outfit that you were unsure of whether it was going to get the boys attention that you had a crush on. It did indeed get his attention that night because that’s how you ended up loosing your virginity that night but that’s besides the point.

The best way you could describe it was like when people would do personality tests and it would ask “are you controlled by your heart or what you feel” probably not those exact words but you get the point. I felt with my feelings if my gut said yes then it was a yes.

Since the night that John B and Sarah had ‘died’ your gut had been telling you the opposite. That they were in fact not dead. As Big John use to say when you were a kid, you can never kill a Routledge. At the time it seemed like bullshit but now it was starting to grow on you.

However now your two friends were presumed dead and not everyone dealt with trauma like you did. Some would even go as far to say that you didn’t actually give a fuck that your friends were dead because you hadn’t cried or you hadn’t drunk yourself into a state of no return or resulted to smoking weed every single day and spray painted ‘murder’ on Ward Cameron’s estate. But at least Kiara wasn’t lying.

But the thing was you hadn’t cried because you couldn’t, you quite literally hated crying because it made you feel weak. Even if you tried and you tried your hardest but nothing came. At this point you could go as far as denial. This gut feeling was like getting hit by a semi truck every time a thought came into your head questioning maybe they were dead. Maybe they did get swept away at sea and never to return.

Your gut feeling was simply not letting you mourn the loss of John B and Sarah and now everyone thought you were an emotionless bitch. I mean they were right to a point but not the whole point.

So that brought you to current day driving around the Cut and night playing fucking real life Where’s Wally but its Where’s JJ Maybank because he’s blacked out drunk somewhere and now you’re on a rescue mission. Not like you had done enough of those in the last few weeks.

About an hour ago your phone rang and it was JJ asking you to come pick him up since somehow he had now idea where he had ended up and was too far gone to put together his surroundings. Well that’s what you had assumed he said since you had to decipher his slurred words.

At this point you had driven around the whole island and gone to every hid out spot that he would go smoke at or to just get away from everyday life. You had gone to all but one place. Where you avoiding that particular house because it held so many memories, plus the fact you hadn’t been near the place since shit hit rock bottom. Yes? But it was the highest chance that JJ was sitting on that dock with his legs swinging over it with a beer in hand.

Well you were right. As you walked down the old dock to where JJ was sitting it was if you could feel all the emotions, thoughts and disbelief crawling their way up your skin from the ground you were walking on. But that gut feeling was like a wave of fire, burning it all the way back to the ground.

“I don’t know why I just didn’t look here first. I should have known aye” you half heartedly said trying to keep the conversation light since you didn’t know what state JJ was going to be in. From the huff you got in response told you he wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“How much have you had J?” You asked with concern but still trying to keep you voice light and less reprimanding because you knew he was in a too fragile state for you to be angry.

“Does it even matter how much Iv had. I don’t feel shit anymore” he replied back with his words straight forward and sobered.

“Well have you even given yourself a break for your body to sober up for you to even feel the effects of it? Or have you still been going since yesterday when I saw you? J its not going to do shit if you don’t give it a rest for at least a day or so” you said back trying you best to keep you and your voice as calm as possible. You fucking hated seeing JJ like this, you would never say it to his face but fuck it just reminded you of his dad when he got into states like this. Until the last week you had never seen JJ this bad. But could you blame him.

“You just don’t get it do you” JJ was now facing you and by the tone of his voice you had unintentionally struck a nerve that you were actively avoiding. “Why did you even fucking come if you’re just going to tell me how I should cope. Do you even care that JB has gone? He was our best fucking friend. He was my fucking brother my only family! And he’s fucking gone just like his old man. You haven’t even shed a tear y/n. You’re just acting like nothing had happened. Do you even care!” JJ was now on his feet breathing heavily and his jaw so clenched you’re surprised his teeth haven’t broken

“J, please do not yell at me right now” you asked with your voice shaking trying to hold back something that was bubbling at the surface. Was it anger or was it the water works that desperately needed to be let out.

JJ started to walk back up the dock, showing that he was done with this conversation that he could have avoided if he didn’t ask you in the first place to come pick him up. Deep down he knew that you would be the only one to come and get him, he just wasn’t as good at showing his gratefulness due to the alcohol that was numbing him.

“JJ just wait please, please don’t walk away” You stood back up and starting walking after him quick on the backs of his feet. He halted his tracks and turned around to look at you with a pained look in his face, as you got up close you could see his eyes stained red. Either from crying or the linger of weed still in his system.

“What could you possibly want to say y/n. I really thought you would be the last person not to care about this” JJ was now right up in your face and his voice was holding back trying his best not to yell. But that last sentence had taken you back.

“You think I don’t care JJ!” now you starting yelling “of course I give a shit JJ our friends are gone, they are not fucking here. I know it might not seem that I don’t care. But just because I’m not crying my eyes out every hour or drinking myself into a state where I don’t now where the fuck I am or getting high that I spray paint on any wall I see” your breath was now battling to come to the surface because you were talking so fast.

“Just because Im not doing any of those things doesn’t mean I don’t care JJ! People deal with this shit differently and you need to understand that” you breathed out trying to grasp for air again “the thing is JJ I have this annoying gut feeling thats telling me that John B and Sarah are not dead, and its literally preventing me to mourn them. I have convinced myself that they are alive and I can’t fucking mourn non dead people J. I don’t know how to fucking explain it”

“Well why didn’t you just tell us that” he replied after bit letting your whole rant sink into his brain, weaving its way through the alcohol that was clouding it.

“Because JJ! Even saying that out loud I sound fucking crazy, like I’m in a deep pit of denial. The thing is I’m far from denial. Yes I know there is a massive fucking fat chance that they are dead and have been food for the sharks” you exclaimed

“Don’t make it worse y/n” JJ shook his head not very happy with your choice of words

“Okay yeah sorry bad wording. Im sorry” you lowered your head in sorrow wanting to slap yourself in the face for trying to make jokes out of trauma.

“So its not that I don’t care J, trust me I do care. But John B and Sarah are not physically here with us and I cant physically care for them right now. But when we see them can do that”

“Y/n -“ JJ tried to get a word in but you hadn’t finished

“Don’t JJ. We will see them again” you put an emphasis on ‘will’ “I trust my gut and even you know that when I get a gut feeling that it’s always been right. Correct?”

“Yes but -“ he tried to get another word in but you needed him to listen.

“JJ I care about you. I care about Kiara and Pope. You guys are physically here for me to care for. The thing is I haven’t spoken to Kie since she’s with Pope half the time and I have spoken to Pope since he’s with Kid half the time and you? I can’t speak to you because your too far gone in beers to for me to even get a coherent conversation in” This was such an over due conversation to be had, you were now on the verge of hyperventilating. You needed JJ to hear this. Fully sober would have been better but half sober is the best you’re gonna get.

“JJ I understand if that’s how you’re going to deal with all of this but you can’t throw yourself completely away. We need you. I need you JJ. I can’t have you going off the deep end and then we loose you too. You need to be here for when we get John B back. He will need you for when he’s back”. The water works that you had been holding back had finally been released and trust it to be in front of JJ. He was your fucking rock, you couldn’t loose him. No way that would be your last day on earth if that were to happen.

“I-. Im sorry. I’m just so fucking lost y/n. I don’t know what the fuck to do. You’re always at work and Kie and Pope are god knows where. I just want this to go away so fucking bad. All this pain, I feel like I have no one” JJ was now crying to and gripping your waist as is you could float away into the air

“I know JJ, but you have us you have always had us. But you have to be so stubborn sometimes that you won’t let us in and help, you won’t let me in a help you” you had JJ’s face in your hands making him look at you so he knew you meant every single word. “I’m so sorry if you didn’t think I cared and I wasn’t there to help you, I just deal with this shit in a different way. Just like every single other person. We all heal differently and that’s okay. It dosent mean we care less. It doesn’t mean I care less”

Now there you and JJ stand on the dock leading off the chateau both in each others embrace purging the pain that’s both been locked up inside you for so long. The past you and JJ had people really didn’t tend to understand but neither did you. But you would always find your way back to each other at the end of the day. Despite the fights you had in the past and the days you would be at each others throats screaming at each other to the days you would be secretly stealing a glance at him because you just couldn’t help yourself.

You would always be there to help him take the pain away and he was always be there to do the same for you.

My thoughts on episode SIX…

OHH MY WORD THE NEW EPISODE WAS SO GOOD!!!!! I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!

It was exactly what I needed!!! 😁😁😁 I’m so happy right now - I’m loving this season!

Of course, I’d love it even more if two certain someones would care to grace us with their presence … but it’s fine - I can wait… I can be patient.

Though we did get a little closer - I definitely heard the Kid Flash zeta designation in the background - along with Bluebeetle, Static, Robin, Forager, Livewire and 2 or 3 names I could hear over Gar’s talking. (If anyone could confirm those that would be appreciated.)

I think I’m liking these recent episodes so much because they have that season 2 vibe. We’re seeing (and hearing) the heroes do their hero thing - working in the shadows, trying to solve the problem and working with the other heroes around them to get to the answers. I love seeing the newer hero’s getting a bit of screen time - and actual dialogue - because it makes them feel rooted in the world - instead of being just space filler or not speaking because its more cost affective to just show them. I get why these creative decisions have to be made - it just seems really noticeable in these last two seasons compared to the first two - and I still don’t really get why…

Anyway, it’s nice to see the other characters being a part of the story. Heck, I even liked hearing all the Outsiders zeta-ing away in the background - it really felt like they were just there but we just missed them. It worked well… I don’t want it all the time - I do want to see an actual non-montagey Outsiders mission or at least interactions with those characters since the show made me so invested in them last season - but I liked it here.

Guess this is a good point to talk about Gar and oh my god my heart is breaking for the boy! 🥺 He’s so broken right now and I really need someone to go comfort him through all the grief and trauma he’s bottling up… and y’know what, I kinda want it to be Bart. This has just popped into my head - but they’re pretty equal in many ways - they’ve both dealt with loss and heartache from a young age, they both like to hide behind their smiles, they don’t talk about their struggles, they’ve pretty much been adopted into their found families, they’re the same age. It would be cool to see this be the thing which finally gets Bart to open up about his own traumas to someone and finally break him out of the character he’s been playing for years with everyone… I really want more Bart content.

Also with every mention of Perdita we keep getting and Gar’s avoiding of her, I get a little more worried that she’s not going to survive the season. I’m convinced Brion’s gonna do something to try claim control of Vlatava and she’ll get caught in the take down and Gar will fail to get there in time to save her and it will destroy him (emotionally). He’ll be consumed with even more grief and guilt and he’ll want to take down the one responsible - Brion. This is the current narrative of events filling my head at the minute - but how ever it turns out - something bads going down with Gar, Perdita and Brion - and I’m not looking forward to it.

What I am looking forward to is more Orphan content. I knew I was gonna like her with that one little moment she had in ep.5 - and I was right because I love her and I can’t wait to see more and learn more about her. I’m even more excited for her interactions with Shiva - is this not the first villain mother vs daughter dynamic we’ve had in the show…? We’ve definitely had a lot of ‘bad’ dads - it seems it’s time for some ‘bad’ mums to join the roster.

Oh it’s gonna be fun…

LB

— END OF PART ONE —

angella trying to be intimidating and terrifying to adora in ep 4 but accidentally blowing adora’s whole world right open by throwing a wrecking ball into the years of traumatizing power dynamics that shadow weaver had ingrained in her by telling adora she can earn a place here NOT by obeying angella NOT by appeasing her or staying on her good side, but by NOT DISSAPOINTING GLIMMER, THE FRIEND ADORA SO VERY MUCH WANTS TO PROTECT AND HELP

and then angella backs up that idea the very next morning by Actually Listening When Adora Stands Up For Glimmer?

Adora Standing Up TO ANGELLA right after oops sitting in her dead husband’s chair, telling angella hey maybe glimmer’s idea is actually not a bad one maybe you shouldn’t shut her down 100% like that

and angella’s like. Well. Sigh. I DID warn you not to disappoint glimmer, which is a sore thing to remember when I am currently the reason glimmer is looking so disappointed. So. As long as you can keep her safe-

like holy sh*t this never happened in the fright zone

adora’s terrified attempts to speak to shadow weaver for catra were just used by shadow weaver to threaten catra more, destroy catra’s sense of agency by telling adora to control her better

(like she was adora’s PET a thing adora gets to keep around as long as she’s GOOD)

or scaring the f*%# out of both of them with a reminder of how disposable she feels catra is

literally the only way adora ever felt she had to keep catra kinda safe (and not get separated, or risk being put in the same terrible boat as her) was by keeping shadow weaver in a good mood and distracted. actually openly fighting for her best friend wasn’t allowed. at all

and that f@#kery made it so catra couldn’t even accept the few times adora was openly worried for her (childhood sparing match flashback) because she HAS to fight for herself, ruthlessly, constantly, and especially in public when other people were watching, even when it meant fighting against her only friend. catra has to. no one else will

worse, her own friend says even she shouldn’t fight for herself, scared that only makes it worse for her

(it doesn’t bc shadow weaver would do it anyway)

shadow weaver made every bad thing that was done to them their own fault and then wouldn't even let them lean on each other, oh no, she has to poison that too, adora can't be the friend she wants to be without hurting catra and catra can't rely on the only friend she has. her one friendship in the entire horde, and she's adora's responsibility, not her own person, because shadow weaver says so

what shadow weaver says happens is their entire life for so long. adora wants to be with her friend. will break rules to make catra happy and show her she cares. but no matter how good she tries to be, in the end it didn't matter, shadow weaver was going to isolate her too- make her force captain and take her away from all her friends. catra included.

and saying no to that? that would have disappointed shadow weaver. made her angry. been turned and twisted around, probably, to be catra's fault somehow, for 'dragging adora down' or 'holding her back'

so again, the only way to even try protecting her friend... was to not

adora comes from all this mess

then suddenly, the new person in power is telling adora to fight for her new friend? not only that she can, but she SHOULD?

angella doesn’t get mad at adora for doing it?? it actually WORKS????

shadow weaver pretended to care about adora and used that to control her, make her scared of openly siding with catra

angella told her flat out she doesn’t like or trust her, and challenged adora to be the person she claimed to be, by being there for glimmer.

and then angella Kept To Her Word

can you imagine. the revelation. the relief

the terror of adora standing up that first time, not sure how this would go, remembering all the other times she'd tried something like this and how it always went bad-

and then the confidence she has by the s1 end, straight out folding her arms and GLARING at angella when it looks like the immortal queen MIGHT be disapproving of glimmer’s secret weapon’s stash?

glimmer and bow are cringing in that moment, bracing themselves or trying to smooth things over

but in the background, adora’s look is just pure defiance

like yeah glimmer has a heck ton of weapons hidden away in her room. they're for fighting the horde. fighting the horde makes her happy. who the heck is angella, glimmer’s mom and queen of brightmoon, to dare make glimmer feel nervous about something that makes her happy???

if angella had tried fighting glimmer about it then, adora would have thrown hands. you cannot convince me otherwise

and honestly, considering the childhood adora came from, that’s heartwarming af

she trusts angella

not to always do the right thing or support her daughter the way adora feels glimmer deserves, but to care for glimmer, to want her to be happy, to want to be sure that SOMEONE always stands up for her daughter, even if it means going against angella herself

adora learns she can expect angella to be a decent person, basically, and that angella will hold herself to the same standards she puts on others

she tells adora not to disappoint glimmer. when adora pushes back, in ep4, points out sideways that angella’s the one doing it now, angella accepts that. she gives in. she changes her decision

glimmer wants to go recruiting princesses and fighting the horde? No.

adora offers to keep glimmer safe on the mission, reminding angella that that’s why she’s here, that’s why glimmer brought her to the rebellion, that’s what angella decided to trust her daughter on- THAT’S what glimmer is asking from her mom. a little trust? that’s what’s the disappointment here, glimmer being pushed aside again, right after it seemed like angella was finally starting to even slightly respect her as a leader

and…. fine. FINE, they can go

as long as they're careful and glimmer doesn't find a way to fight the horde anyway (sure jan), then glimmer can have her mission

angella doesn’t want to be a disappointment to glimmer either

after the whole thing with Micah, she already feels like one

she’s just scared. no way she’d survive losing glimmer too. but she said she’d give adora a chance for glimmer’s sake, and that means trusting adora with glimmer’s safety, trusting glimmer’s trust in this ex-horde soldier, which is the same as trusting glimmer with the fate ofthe ENTIRE rebellion

and angella does

she's scared-

(if adora had been a spy and taken glimmer hostage, we know exactly how fast angella would have surrendered, even just on the faintest hope of saving her daughter. even at the cost of the war against the horde)

(if glimmer had died on a mission that angella authorized, if she lost her the same way she’d already lost micah…)

-she’s scared and she’s been coping with her fear and loss by being cautious

(sending glimmer to elberon where no horde was supposed to attack)

(ordering a retreat the moment the horde attacked there anyway)

but she chooses to take this risk anyway

she loves her daughter very, VERY, very much. enough to start letting glimmer be her own person even if that means watching her chose to put herself in danger. enough to begin changing herself, for glimmer's sake

(end of s1 glimmer has no magic and is GLITCHING and when she decides to go after adora anyway, angella doesn't try stopping her. she encourages her. right after getting her back from the horde, almost losing her, she lets glimmer go)

(episode 1 angella would not have done that)

it’s not easy or instantaneous (still grounds glimmer when she gets too close to nearly dying)

but angella made that choice and tries to stick to it

that's something shadow weaver never did

and it's why adora can trust angella, be confident enough in that to stand up to her on glimmer’s behalf. angella was intimidating and distrustful and outright hostile at first, BUT, she was also fair

she respects her daughter, as a person, even if she isn't always good at showing it. even if her fear for glimmer made her overprotective and dismissive

She didn't ask Adora to help control Glimmer. She told Adora to prove Glimmer right

And she held to that. Even when it went against her own plans, she didn't punish Adora for going against her. She didn't blame Glimmer for 'failing to control' the horde solider who's supposed to be her responsibility

She just... didn't use her power to hurt them, when she had the chance to

The first authority figure in Adora's life to clear that low bar. And Angella did it, without even trying

Because she loves her daughter

I....flarblegarble…. I. Love. Season. One

Okay so I saw the Emily episodes last night and now I’m just sitting here having a Sad over it. Like, I’d been previously aware that an Emily existed, but unaware as to how things actually went down, so more of a surprise than I’d expected.

I loved the fact that—we’ve seen Mulder be super protective over his sister, but this time we get to see that protectiveness being expanded to another little girl. He really cares about keeping kids safe, doesn’t he?

The part where he’s not sure what he believes anymore 😭 (can’t remember if that was from these episodes or not though)

A little surprised he wouldn’t give Scully a heads-up about what he was about to tell the judge regarding her infertility, seeing as she didn’t already know it. So glad she didn’t get really mad at him. He hasn’t told her a lot of things though, including about what he found in the office during this arc. What’s your thoughts about M trying to protect S by keeping things from her?

I loved that she called him in for backup. She’s facing little to no support on all fronts, and then one phone call brings him unquestioningly in.

But poor Scully, fighting a losing battle all the way down to the end—this whole storyline just radiates loss.

oh the Emily arc... all my feels. sorry for taking a few days to get to this, it's been a loooong weekend for me lol and I haven't gotten much sleep.

I didn't expect those episodes to hit me as hard or stick with me as much as they did, but here I am, trawling AO3 and Tumblr for every fic I can find lol...

dude yes that connection between Emily and Samantha... Mulder already projects onto children so often on cases, because of his own childhood trauma, and Emily is just this lost little girl who needs protected, who's a part of the conspiracy out of her or anyone else's control — and she's Scully's, too — and it's kinda like... of COURSE he was going to absolutely adore her. of COURSE he would bend heaven and earth for Scully's lost little girl. the part where he goes after that doctor and shoves him up against the bookshelf and yells and threatens him is just ahsjdjsksk he is SO protective 😭

(also the fact that textually, IN CANON, IN AS MANY WORDS, they outright stated what happened as medical rape... the one and only time Chris Carter was self-aware....)

ok so re: Mulder not telling Scully about her stolen ova — I think a lot of this comes down to him being Really Bad At Talking About Things (TM). he doesn't want to add that knowledge to everything she's already struggling with during the cancer arc, and, if I have it correct (pretty big "if" tbh), the Reduxes happen shortly prior to Thanksgiving — which means that at the point of the Emily episodes it hasn't been all that long, maybe a month and a half, since her cancer went into remission. so I just kinda feel like he never had an opportunity that felt like it would be the right time — knowing how awkward he can be, idk when/if he *would* have told her without the circumstances of CC/Emily tbh. they can talk about so much stuff all the time but when it comes to serious things, they both s t r u g g l e. and, like you said, in a way he was trying to protect her from more pain — especially since she was also fighting cancer.

and yeah!! she really can't think of anywhere else she wants to turn, anyone else she can depend on the way she can trust Mulder — and of course, he's there for her in heartbeat. no hesitation, they're there for each other no matter what, no questions asked. the way he supports her in these eps always gets to me, he's struggling so much both bc he hid the fact of her infertility from her and because he, as always, blames himself for everything that happens to her and by extension Emily, but he's there at her shoulder at the hospital and doing everything he possibly can for her and her little girl. it's heartbreaking honestly, especially when the doctor asks if they're the parents and they look at each other (and uh... please note that they Don't deny it....) and Mulder ducks his head like he thinks he's undeserving even of that assumption. but the fact of the matter is that he DOES often, as i saw a now-deactivated user point out once, take on quite a bit of the responsibility that a husband would for Scully — even so far as being the one to go with her mom to choose a hecking gravestone when they think she's dead, and being the one to call and tell her mom she has cancer. I know I joke a lot about Mulder being husband material, but... for real. and in the context of the Emily arc, that HURTS.

poor Scully indeed... she's constantly put through more trauma, more loss, more grief, and she carries it with so much grace most of the time, but she doesn't deserve any of it. neither does poor sweet Emily, for that matter... honestly the Scully girls all just deserve so much better (including Melissa... my beloved.... I miss her every day...).

Cute and absolutely heart breaking that the best bonding that I think we ever see Doris and Steve have is on that covert op to recover the microfiche. (Can you tell I am currently doing my rewatch?) -Beast

I just saw that ep!! (Kinda)

I thought it was cute but it was quickly interrupted. A short happy moment. I guess Doris and Stevie on the boat at the beginning of the episode (if I remembered correctly) was cute too! But that’s like… it. There’s so much reason to mourn for Steve and his loss of a mother. But I don’t have remorse for Doris.

It felt like they had an opportunity to give Steve his mother back, fully. Where Doris is regretful about her decision. Also emotional about having her son back. The conflict could have been wo fat trying to find her, or her past coming to haunt her. But Steve and Doris could of tried and keep a loving mother and son relationship despite all that’s happening.

But no…. Everyone in Steve’s life has to be complicated with their actions and sometimes back stabbing ‘n such. Steve lost one parent for good, and he had a second chance to have one back but no… <3 in other words, it can never be that simple.

Also I’m doing a rewatch too, beast. I do it over and over again. XD

OMG something is really cooking. we are spoiled with great moments of JaeDo in the video. Doyoung is quite touchy too. SUSSSS but am not complaining hahahaah

An anon

Dojae are quite intimate now on cam. I literally don’t know what happened but that was quite a shocking transformation.

Another anon

I dunno abt you guys but the sour face Jaehyun made when Jw sat on Doie's lap in the Fav comeback video is so funny like the guy legit annoyed hahaah

Another

I think this is the first time i see a jealous kinda reaction from Doyoung. While watching the cat ears game between Jae and TY. Boyyyy what a view

Another

Ah… Jaehyun is really an oddball. Vampire house was so hilarious that I spent nearly an hour trying to finish it cos I kept on replaying. Jae’s facials are coming out again, the exaggerated winks, the flirty comments, this is what I wanted to see and this is what I missed. All the members were great as well, the poems, especially the ones with the lyrics and words that were fit randomly in, like Mark’s suddenly proclamation of 2taes wedding. Jae and Woo had my favs in terms of actual poetry.

Another

it was fun to watch doyoung's face during jaeyong's turn with the kitten ears 🤣 idk if it's bc he doesnt like what he's seeing or he's still getting over his loss 😭

Another

https://twitter.com/jaedoloops/status/1456974329464320003?s=21 I haven’t watch video yet but wow lol

Another

Literally what is happening lol there’s news about Dojae everyday. I’m surprised at how we came this afar, like years ago we had to wait like 4 months to have a proper moment 😂😭

----------

Link

I need to finish the Vampire ep 2 as well, I will comeback to the poems later.

It is all but speculations on my part. It's hard to be sure. So just let's agree that we are theorizing here, and I can end up wrong with my hopes for a duet or an MC gig.

I suspect that there is a plan of slowly bringing JaeDo back because the changes feel gradual, you know? Jae and Do are allowed to play in the same team and stand together on group photos, then they get edited less, then neos start to say shipper jokes, then Mnet changes Taedo to Jaedo thumbnails. It also feels like neos are more active about pushing the two towards each other, like Jungwoo passing the camera to Doyoung to make him say something to Jaehyun.

At the same time, JaeDo are not really in the front. We pay close attention to their interactions, but if you look at everyone, there is YuMark, YuWoo, DoWoo, DoHyuk, JaeYong, JaeIl, etc. If before the absence of JaeDo was obvious, the editors and the boys tried too hard, then now it's "normal". The way I and many shippers who wrote me with "Why are they hiding so much?" question expected it to be. Everyone is cozy, why can't JaeDo be?

Finally, they can.

I'd like the return of the puppy Jaehyun and handsy Doyoung, I'm getting greedy.

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

Ok, But Seriously, I Have Thoughts

I have... really mixed feelings about this episode, so I'm gonna talk about those feelings. And if my feelings about zep as a show and this season come out during that... so be it. (Seriously, this got long. I'd apologize, but I'm not sorry). Also spoilers for the new ep below the cut, but y'all should've been able to guess that

- I... Zimon seriously deserves just so much better. We saw them as a couple together for three episodes, and they honestly weren't explored enough. Zimon... and this is a very personal opinion, but they really do strike me as a couple who never fully leave the honeymoon phase... like ever. Like, of course, they'll fight and disagree on a lot of things, but they also can have adult children, and just kind of act like newlyweds even if they've been married for over twenty years. And again, I know that's a very personal opinion, but I mean... we all knew c/arkeman was gonna be endgame, and it just feels like zimon was never given an actual chance.

- However, I do very much appreciate that their breakup was not messy, there's still clearly a ton of respect for the other on both of their sides, and that Simon is okay.

- "We didn't belong together." No, you fucking did.

- I am not going to stop writing Zimon fanfic either. In fact, this might spur me to write more and work harder on writing Zimon fanfic.

- Rose. Fucking. Deserves. Better. I'm not even gonna elaborate on this one. We all know it.

- Despite the fact that I fucking hate c/arkeman and that it was very, very rushed... I'm giving acting and singing props to Jane. I Melt With You is a song that's extremely personal to me. It helped get me through a point in my life where... I was constantly feeling at war with others, myself, and even felt unsafe in my own home (something I still feel today, no matter how irrational I know it is). I just generally feel a strong connection to every version of the song bc of that, whether it's the original or the Bowling for Soup cover (that was in Sky High!), and... Jane just has a way of making me feel safe when she sings. So, I really, really loved her cover.

- Um... yeah, I'm gonna be real, I don't like the idea of Max having powers. I don't know, I just think it kinda changes the whole original concept of the show, and I'm not a big fan of that...

- Simon! Simon working on changing SPRQ Point!!!!

- I do not really like how they handled Simon's racial bias/systemic racism in coding storyline *after* episode six (aka it only really being mentioned in passing, not being further explored, etc.), but,,, credits due where it's due I guess? I like how they handled him going to Danny Michael Davis, and how DMD listened.

- Sidenote, I kinda find it weird we as a fandom don't refer to him as Danny... it's Danny Michael Davis, DMD, or fucking Willy Wonka jokes. Makes sense I guess.

- Um... the writing was just... so lazy. Yeah. It's... really sad, I think that the show would've benefitted from even one less ep. But on the other hand... lazy writing is lazy writing.

- I think it would've been better - honestly - if Zoey's feelings of loss hadn't been connected to Max in a romantic way, but in a platonic/familial way. We didn't see a ton of their friendship, and yeah,, I hate Max, but there are a few moments there where you can see a legitimate friendship that's really sweet. I also think if they had maybe explored Zoey's fear of losing Simon as well as Max and centered the finale more on Zoey telling Simon about her power, it would've just been a lot better.

- But... honestly, after I just aired out all my issues with this episode (and the season too kinda),,, I honestly liked it. I hate that Zimon broke up and I just generally hate cl*arkeman but... this ep had some really great moments. Zoey and Mitch were beautiful to see again. Mctobin, Davidemily, and Mo x Perry were all absolutely my favorite parts of the episode. Hell, I'll even admit I... well I don't wanna say laughed considering I was so close to crying, but I let out a weird, breathy noise resembling a laugh when Zoey just blurted out she and Simon had broken up.

I don't want to say it was a bad episode, because I did honestly, enjoy ~parts~ of it... but... it wasn't even that cl/arkeman happened, I knew it would, but how it did... it just honestly (my g.od i need to stop writing that word) seemed like they were trying to kill off or like... fucking quash *any* hope Zimon shippers may have had,,, and the writing was just so fucking lazy, I just...

I started the show after dance one night because my teacher showed us the Help! number bc he was an extra in it. And I had already been intrigued by the few ads I had seen for it. So, my mom and I watched it, and we loved it. So we kept watching. And it was good! It was really good! Sure it could be cheesy, but... that didn't matter. I latched on...

I don't know if, ZEP is gonna get renewed, and if it is, I don't know if I'll watch it if/when it does. I latch on to shows really fucking hard when I do latch on. It's why I keep rewatching The Good Place and why I'll never forgive Freeform/Disney/Marvel for canceling Cloak and Dagger. The way I latch onto things is probably a bit unhealthy. And the fact of the matter is, despite everything, my overwhelming feelings about ZEP are positive. And I latched on. I'd honestly do it all over again.

I have a lot of feelings about this fandom and this show, both positive and negative. Still, I love it. Unconditionally. Ultimately, I don't care if Zoey ends up with Max or Simon (though, seriously, she and Simon are made for each other). It's a good fucking show, ships shouldn't be everything that matters.

I began lurking in this fandom when I was fifteen. I began posting fanfic for it when I was sixteen. I'm almost seventeen now. I was planning to get Tumblr when I was seventeen. I also knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I hadn't made my presence here known if it didn't get renewed.

I want to thank @simon-haynes because, uh, holy fuck, I adore you. Running a blog for fandom is something I couldn't even fathom, especially when a large portion of the fandom doesn't like your ship. I legitimately can't believe you followed me.

Thank you to @jennakang. You are, honestly, one of the best writers I've ever read from. You were so incredibly supportive of my writing on ao3, despite the fact you didn't know who I was, and that really meant the world to me. Thank you so much for your contributions to the fandom. Also, uh, fun fact, I was the anon who, after you expressed the want to write the quarantined Zimon fic, sent in that ask that was like "please do!" and also "hope I'm not being pushy about this". I don't know if you remember that at all, but your response meant the world to me.

And uh, lastly @myheartissetinmotion. Um, wow. I know we barely know each other, but I can honestly say, you have been my anchor for this whole show. I love both your Tori content on TikTok as well as just zep content you do on there, and how you wrote her into zep on ao3. I personally like to think of you as the pioneer of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist Tok. You were pretty unbiased when it came to ships on there, and that made me feel safe in a place where there were virtually no zimon shippers. Your content was funny, and I always found myself laughing or screaming "accurate" at it. I know, I'm the nuisance who every few months DMs you about something zep related, but I hope you know, you made me feel both seen and somewhat appreciated in this fandom. I cannot thank you enough, Isabella 💗

I know Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist may not be ending. But this still oddly feels like the end of an era. I'm not leaving the fandom, I plan to keep posting fanfic for it and everything. I just want everyone who may be reading this to know I love this fandom and I would not take any moment here back.

Also, this is me formally asking for a link to a Discord group chat since I know it exists but I'm too scared to actually ask any of you for it directly.